#Once I could drive myself I was a Junior in high school with too much homework to read for fun

[books-n-pickles]

I now use two libraries in walking distance, but growing up I couldn't go unless I got a ride. Hate the 'burbs, man...

As a young librarian, I started trying to figure out why more young people aren't ever coming in; 90% of our demographic are the elderly and parents of children, and the rest are a rough mix of the kids and teenagers who come in just for school projects. As a result, I've been attempting different ways to get the Youth TM to come into libraries, but first I wanted to see why they don't come in. Please reblog to get this poll out to more people! <3

[ruershrimo]

take me back (take me with you) | f. megumi x fem! reader | chapter 1: nostalgia

ao3 link for additional author's notes | playlist | next | m.list

chapter synopsis:

'“You’re my best friends forever,” you whisper to them. It’s the truth and it’s a promise. The train halts with that chuffing sound all trains produce, and your mother holds the luggage as well as your other hand as you wave to them goodbye.'--- ' It’s very late and I still have so much I want to talk about with you, but I’m really sleepy now. My eyes are barely open and my face is about to fall on the paper, I think. Just know that I'm thinking of the two of you all the time. XX

Love, [Name]

(P.S.: I still have your hair tie. Do you know if I’ll ever be able to give it back?)'

word count: ~5k; tws: none for now

2-4-2015

Dear Fushiguro Tsumiki, 

How are you today? I’m so sorry that we haven’t talked in so long. 

Forgive me for asking so many questions in this letter— I know too little about writing them; my mother is the one who asked me to write this saying that it would help me keep in touch with my friends or write better (either of the two, I can’t quite remember). 

Between an urban area or a rural area, which would you prefer? I’ve had to go all around the place because of my mother and I’m still all the way in Tanegashima now. If you were to go from Tokyo to where I am, you’d have to either go for a drive lasting more than 20 hours or book a three hour flight. 

I’ve only stayed in the city once— that was when we were still in the same school, and we could all fit in my aunt’s apartment since my father was outstationed for the whole year. But I digress. Personally I prefer the city. It all feels so modern, and so much less empty than how it’s like here on this little island. I mean, we have the space centre, so I can always visit that, but after the third or fourth time you’d probably get a little bored of it too. 

I wish I could go to Tokyo again one day, though. I’d definitely take the time to visit you, too. I read on a pamphlet once of how pretty everything gets in Tokyo during winter time, especially during Christmas. We don’t really celebrate Christmas here but the pamphlet reminded me of that one December when we spent it at my aunt’s, we ate lots of KFC and had a little party while my aunt sang songs and drank enough alcohol to prove she had a liver of steel a million times over. 

It’s nice to reminisce on these things, and it’s nice to reminisce on when we were still there too. I know I never told you this enough, but I was so happy when you walked up to me on the playground that day and asked if you wanted to be friends. I really, really liked your hair and wanted to ask you the same. I was just too shy to do it, and thought that if I would I’d end up messing things up and mortifying myself. I miss that and you and I miss 2010 and I miss Tokyo, and walking back from school with you and Megumi (you were like my cool older sister), and I really, really miss doing each other’s hair. It was the most joyful I’d ever been in my then 8 years of life and every day was a new fragment of happiness to keep in my heart like a picture in a locket. 

Now I really want to go there again, and maybe go to the Shinjuku-Gyoen, or see the lights at night. I wish I could stay for a whole year and see how the trees can change from being highlighted cherry blossom pinks, to lush greens with summer dew on them, to golden ginkgo leaves. I’d keep them with me, too. I hope you can take me there one day and we can see everything together again. My apologies if I’m asking too much of you. 

Also, how is Megumi? I miss him too. Is he the way he was, still? Is everything okay between you and him, still? Unlike elementary school, the boys in junior high are all taller than the girls, so since we’re the same age do you think he’d be taller than me too? Is he taller than you, or are you still one of the tallest girls in junior high like how you were in elementary school? 

It’s very late and I still have so much I want to talk about with you, but I’m really sleepy now. My eyes are barely open and my face is about to fall on the paper, I think. Just know that I’m thinking of the two of you all the time. XX

Love, [Name] 

(P.S.: I still have your hair tie. Do you know if I’ll ever be able to give it back?) 

28-2-2011 

The train to the airport is arriving in a minute, and you’re sure your mother won’t let you just wait for the next one, so you’re stuck clutching your little luggage bag as you look at Tsumiki and Megumi, that inseparable pair, and their snowy-haired “benefactor” (whatever that means. You think he’s more like their father sometimes, though). 

Even if you knew it was inevitable and that this day would eventually come, especially with your leaving Tokyo being pulled even earlier than you thought it would, a part of you pretended that you’d still get to stay with them for a little while longer. In Tokyo you’d solidified your place and built your roots— you had friends, were doing alright in school and had even begun to be less anxious about everything. Now you’d be uprooted again, you thought as your fists trembled, Now you’d be back to square one. 

2011 had started as a busy year— your father had begun preparations to move somewhere else where you and your mother could follow him and the three of you would be together again. It was busy for Tsumiki, too, who had more school matters to tend to due to her being one of the best, most well-rounded students in her year (you didn’t know much of the details). 

…it had also begun with you seeing a dog when you were alone with Megumi once. It had these unique markings on its head, with alabaster fur and jaundice-hued eyes. And Megumi then had a panicked look in his eye, asked how and why you could see them as well as whether you’d seen them before, which you suppose caused him to be busier after that, too. Tsumiki and Megumi’s benefactor visited you and your mother the night after, asking to speak with your mother and your mother alone. He paused before you, almost shocked, you supposed, but you couldn’t see through his pitch black sunglasses (he was one weird guy, seriously— pitch black sunglasses? Really?). To which she frowned, as the man uttered that you could be a “window”, but that you could still be able to use “cursed energy”, or something. You’d heard of neither of those, and weren’t able to eavesdrop or discern anything else they’d said. 

Then nobody else mentioned the dog anymore. 

If you questioned any of them, you’d only be told that the dog was a stray, and that those markings must have been a particularly special birthmark. Yet you knew it was all a lie, but after multiple tries you gave up on wondering. 

When you’d first learned you’d be moving yet again, you cried and screamed for your mother to let you stay, and for what felt like hours. After relaying this to Tsumiki, she just put her hand on yours before hugging you— always wise, always kind, always smiling, you can’t say this enough about her. Megumi patted your back before she pulled him in as well, and for once he didn’t shove her hand away. You couldn’t even bother to be confused at that— you just continued to weep as Tsumiki comforted you, whispering, “I can’t promise I’ll always be able to talk to you, but I’ll try my best to keep in touch when I can. And even if we don’t, we’ll always be friends, okay? So we’ll meet again someday, don’t forget that, okay, [Name]?” 

A day after that Megumi told you to stay safe. Nearly ordered you to swear you’d stay safe and protected, always. He said that the world was dangerous since it was full of dangerous creatures and people who could kill you at any moment, but as long as you were on an island like the one you were moving to, you’d be fine. You furrowed your brow at that as he held your hand and felt him squeeze it— subconsciously, most likely. 

“Well,” Tsumiki starts, a tinge of sadness in her tone, her eyes slightly swollen. Megumi’s expression is unreadable but his fists are balling the fabric of his shirt and his leg is shaking. It makes you want to sob and cling to both of them and you know if you did they wouldn’t ever let go, “I guess this is goodbye, [Name]…” 

Before you realise it, tears start pooling in your eyes and soon they’re trickling down your face uncontrollably, just like the day when you’d first met her. “We’ll still be friends, right?” You won’t leave me, right? 

“Mhm!” Tsumiki smiles— she was always smiling, always, even when she was about to cry along with you. Her lip was trembling and for a second you swore you could detect that in the ever-stoic Megumi, too. “It’s okay, you don’t have to worry. We’ll be friends forever, so we’ll surely see each other soon enough,” Tsumiki assures you, close to sniffling, “We made a promise to always be friends, right? So you’ll see the two of us again in just a few years’ time no matter what.” 

“Okay,” you sniff, “I’ll see the two of you when we’re all grown up, and… and I’ll be taller, too! I promise I’ll visit Tokyo next time!” 

“...that’s good,” Megumi says, his leg still shaking discreetly, joining you and Tsumiki’s conversations in a way he’d rarely done. 

Tsumiki nods, “Yeah. That sounds really, really good, [Name]. Wait—! Let me give you something. You can call it a gift!” 

She takes it off, and her hair unfurls like flowers from bouquets after they’re untied, placing the red-ribbon hair tie securely in your palm. 

“Your hair tie?” you ask, “No, it’s okay—!” 

“Please, just… just keep it, okay? It’s a gift from Megumi and I to you, [Name]!”

Then you’re in her embrace again as you clutch the hair tie, while after a little hesitation Megumi joins in and you swear you can see their benefactor smiling— not just the smile he had when you first saw him, this one in particular seemed proud, fatherly, the same way your father did when you told him about how you were able to read through a whole book with beginners’ kanji in it. 

“You’re my best friends forever,” you whisper to them. It’s the truth and it’s a promise. 

The train halts with that chuffing sound all trains produce, and your mother holds the luggage as well as your other hand as you wave to them goodbye. 

15-3-2011

The phone continues to vibrate in your hands as you anxiously tap your foot on the ground. You’re sure it’s going to end up sore. Frantically, you press it almost forcefully to your ear when it stops ringing. “Tsumiki, Megumi!” 

“[Name]!” 

“Are you alright? I saw the footage of the earthquake on the news, are you safe? Were you and Megumi evacuated, are you all safe? Please tell me whether you’re safe—!” 

“Megumi, it’s [Name]!— Don’t worry, we’re safe now.” 

Relieved, you sigh, “That’s good, that’s good,” you say, “It must’ve been really scary…” 

“Mhm— everything started shaking as if we were on some boat in the middle of the sea and the waves started getting wilder, and it was like the ground was rumbling.” 

You shiver. “That sounds so scary…— I’m glad you’re safe, though. I don’t know why stuff like that has to happen so quickly sometimes, and so suddenly, too. And it takes so many people along with it. I thought I could’ve lost the two of you.” 

“Well, we made a promise,” she tells you, “So don’t worry. —Oh! Megumi wants to talk to you. Here, Megumi.” 

“Are you alright?” he inquires, “Have you seen anything scary in the countryside?” 

“Huh? Oh, no, I haven’t seen anything. Why?” 

“Nothing. Just wanted to know.” Now that sounds like a bold-faced lie. 

“Uh-huh, okay.” 

-20-5-2011-

“Hello? Is this Tsumiki? I need to ask if she’s alright—” 

“Oh, little [Name]?” a man says over the phone— the benefactor, you remember, “So sorry, she’s pretty busy right now… call next time, okay?”

-21-5-2011-

“Hello? This is the Fushiguro house contact, right?” 

“Sorry, Tsumiki’s busy at the moment. Me too, actually.” 

“Megumi!” you smile, bringing the phone closer to your cheek in excitement, “How is everything?” 

“Good, to say the least,” he replies, “We’re just a bit busy. Sorry, but I’ve to hang up soon.” 

“Oh, oh-okay! Bye bye, Megumi!” 

“Bye.” 

-13-7-2011-

“Hi, [Name] speaking. I called twice last month and a few days ago. Are you still busy?” 

“A little— well, Tsumiki is,” the voice on the other side says. You know it’s not Tsumiki, not yet at least. “She’s really sorry, [Name].” 

“No, no, it’s okay! I don’t want to bother any of you either, so thank you for telling me!” 

“Well, if you want I can try to get Tsumiki right now,” the voice offers. 

“Really? Thank you so much!”

The pause that ensues after is followed by the fifteen happiest minutes of your life since February this year. 

“[Name]? Is that you?” 

“Yeah! Hi, Tsumiki!” 

She gasps slightly in the way that children do when in awe or when someone finds out they’ll be eating their favourites for lunch. “Hello!” 

“How are you?” you ask.

“I’m good! Really busy, though, so I’m really sorry if I can’t call you as often… but everything’s been alright. You?” 

“Mm,” you hum, nodding your head even if she can’t see it, “I’m good, too!” 

-18-8-2011- 

You don’t know when you started heading to the phone and keying in the number, doing everything but ringing it. You’re busy, too— you’ve less time now to ring them up, and the last time you did, Tsumiki still apologised but sounded a little distant, just that one bit too busy to be able to tend to you. One step farther away from you. And Megumi was seldom ever the one by the phone. Still, you could understand why. You supposed they always had something going on that you never understood or never asked about. That would explain the incident with the unusually marked dog. No, they weren’t sketchy, but there was definitely something they must have known about the world that you didn’t. 

Now you don’t know if you can even muster the courage to talk to you or write to you. The distance between you has widened exponentially and you hesitate just a bit more every time you hold the phone and press its buttons. 

Then the phone rings, and after you hesitate once more, you put it down. 

9-2-2016

If there’s one thing you remember from about half of your life ago, it’s that your first crush was probably Fushiguro Megumi. 

You’re honestly surprised it wasn’t actually his sister. That over Tsumiki and her abundant compassion and beautiful soul, you’d feel your heart leaping and overflowing with warmth because of him instead. Constantly angry, never for once not irascible, always serious and aloof. You’re sure that if you’d met him now instead of back then you’d find him some asshole who you just wouldn’t be able to understand— why’d he always have to seem so angry? 

Yet it was a struggle, trying to understand him. It really was. Maybe you didn’t really have to understand anyone, much less Megumi. He never ceased being so serious and easily angered but you could tell from his eyes that he must have not intended to hurt anyone; half of the time you understood him: like when you could see that glint in your eyes that replaced what would have been a ghost of a smile on his lips, the other half of the time you didn’t: like whenever he shoved Tsumiki’s hand off his shoulder, and Tsumiki just continued to smile. Now, that really confused you. You’d thought about that for days before coming to the conclusion that you’d probably never find an answer. 

Conversely, Tsumiki was kind and patient. If you’d met her now you’d have fallen in love with her immediately and she probably wouldn’t even notice in that terribly goodhearted, unknowingly innocent way of hers. 

In retrospect it should have been more obvious: he scowled at you and if it were anyone else who did so to you back then you would have merely cried and closed in on yourself, yet you never did when it came to him. You just continued to stick to him like those kind of glue residuals left behind after you take a sticker off a table or a price tag from the back cover of a book. You were probably annoying like that. And to some degree you suppose he’d given you his own form of special treatment by letting you do so anyway. 

If you’d known what you were feeling back then you probably wouldn’t have admitted anything, anyway. Probably you would’ve kept it all within you, quiet and unnoticed, trying to drown yourself into life’s backdrop like an insect engulfed in resin. 

But you’re older now, more mature and slightly more outspoken; you’re going to try to be confident and meet someone, this one person alone who you can only meet now without his sister there just because you used to have a crush on him and— 

You don’t think you’d be able to admit anything either. Yet to yourself he’s the first. He always will be, and you’re not sure whether that sounds pathetic, miserable or disgustingly, hopelessly delusional, considering you don’t even want to pursue anything yourself. 

It’s going to be Valentine's Day soon and you’re quite sure that most of your school friends are making Valentine’s chocolates for their boyfriends or their crushes. In all truthfulness, you might as well not feel blue about it— you’re 14, that’s still pretty young, you don’t have to rush things like relationships or confessions through and you’ve been told to focus on your studies instead— but the thought that you’re going to be alone is still kind of depressing. 

10-4-2015

Dear [Name], 

Don’t apologise— it’s partially my fault. I ended up being really busy that year due to something we had to deal with. 

But anyway, it’s been so long! I miss you every day as well! 

Megumi and I’ve been great, and I hope you’ve been too. It’s been a long four years since we last talked (it’s already 2015, how time flies!), but you still sound the same. It’s like you’ve got better handwriting now, though! 

Aside from the fact that I’ve been swarmed with stuff to do (I joined the student council, yay!), junior high has been okay, to say the least— and hey, I’m still pretty tall, you know? Plus, a lot of the teachers say I’m surprisingly tall for my age, heheh. Things are going the same as always. I’ve got accustomed to the loads of homework we have now too. But it’s like Megumi’s been having a problem lately— he’s getting into fights, beating people up, things like that. I wouldn’t call him a delinquent, though: moreso someone who beats the delinquents up instead. I know what he wants to do and why he does it, but I don’t want him to fight other people and get himself or others hurt. 

I’ve tried to tell him this before, to be honest. I’ve tried it many times but each time I must sound more annoying to him than the last— I don’t want to force him to do anything, though, and I understand that part of why he does this is because of his own ideals. I just want him to not raise his hand against others. So I have to resort to this. 

Sorry for spilling it all on paper like this… I just wanted someone to talk about this to, and I thought you would listen to me, I suppose. Sometimes it’s hard— sometimes I really do feel like his parent instead of his sister and it makes me feel so lonely, really. 

Oh dear, what do I do to make him hear me, seriously… 

Anyway, I totally get what you mean— I’ve stayed in Tokyo all my life, but I’m sure that if I was uprooted and had to live somewhere else I’d have lots of trouble. Tokyo to me is my home, and my whole life is here. Moving somewhere else would probably shatter it completely, I think. 

And please visit when you can! Maybe if your mother allows it, we can come to us instead, one day! And it’s not like we can’t visit you either. Our door’s always open. Once this school year ends, perhaps we could stay with you for a night or two! (If you would have us, of course). 

Besides that, I don’t really have much to say. I did have a good day today, though. I went out with some of my friends from school after our classes ended and we ate some donuts. They were so tasty!!! Honestly, whenever you have the time, I really recommend going there with some of your friends after school!! 

Regardless, I think this is all I have to say in this letter. I promise I’ll try my utmost best to always set aside time to write to you!!! Get some good rest whenever you can, okay? Miss you always! 

Sincerely, 

Tsumiki 

(P.S.: Do you have an email or a phone number of your own yet? If so, please shoot me an email or give me a call! I can reply more there since I have those now and can use those instead of always relying on our house contact.  You can keep the hair tie, too, by the way! It can be like a memoir (*^▽^*). And it’s for you, after all!) 

13-3-2015 

You remember seeing a little dog one time back in your hometown when you were around six or seven years old. 

It was a tiny little thing, with the fluffiest black fur you’d ever stroked, and though every second it was barking louder than your mother could ever handle, it was adorable and seldom threatened to bite anyone. And it liked you— it never barked at you and let you shower it with pets despite how much it had frightened you initially. 

He was irritable but calm, someone who frowned and scolded but never raised his hand against anyone— not even that “benefactor” of his who you’d never heard him talk about without mentioning how much he’d like to punch him someday. You genuinely don’t think he’s ever done so, either. He doesn’t seem like the type: from what you remember, if he were to think he’d hurt someone he knew or evidently cared about— as much as he’d like to deny this, however— he would blame everything on himself, you think. He’d feel the guilt rake through his body and lacerate his skin, piercing through his ribs. Yet he’d keep living, and he wouldn’t tell anyone about it; he’d be so quietly miserable. 

That’s what he was like: quietly miserable. There’s a certain sorrow in the way he does things; you could tell this from the start despite how young and inept at articulating yourself you were at that age. But you’d always known and sensed that there was a sadness running through him, coursing through his veins, one that you could feel like heat from the warm blood beneath one’s skin. 

Today you wonder if he’s the same, if he still seems like the saddest person you’ve ever met, if he still seems like he would have been the saddest and most doleful had he not always tried to act as if otherwise, living defiantly against it. If he hadn’t always been able to keep living while suffering quietly like a child with nothing but muffled sobs in the desolate corner of an empty classroom. 

But at eight you thought maybe you could liken Megumi to a puppy. Or something like that. He certainly reminded you of that all-bark-no-bite puppy from the past. You wondered how it was now, whether it was still being fed and taken care of. 

Tsumiki was vastly different, though— the kindest girl you ever knew, with neat, soft hair and the type of handwriting all the girls in her class wanted to have. She was always smiling, always kind— you thought she was immensely wise for a girl around your age; you always wanted to be as amazing of a person as she was: always hardworking, always clever, always kind and forgiving, no matter what. 

…you don’t even know why you’re thinking about some kids you met once who you’ll probably never see again. Just two kids who you never kept in touch with. Or at least never tried to. You had their contact— you tried talking to Tsumiki a few times, but for some reason she could only ever reply once or twice (she apologised profusely for not being available any time she picked up as well), and as time passed the way the distance between the two of you grew, by the summer of 2011 you’d begun holding a telephone close to your ear without keying any number in it, as if clinging onto it would provide you with any sort of closure. 

You miss them, though: smiley Tsumiki and frowny Megumi. 

Leaning back into the mattress, you trace your fingers over the hair tie on your wrist, fingers rubbing against each thread of fabric in its red ribbon. 

Could you even talk to them or face them anymore after ceasing contact with them for years, though? Heck, you don’t even know whether they’re alive or not. Would they be angry at you? Disappointed? Feeling as if they’d been wronged or left behind? 

Still, you miss them. You really do. 

Your mother’s calls bring you downstairs, and you eat until your stomach is full before washing your plate. The only other step in your routine now is to head up and retreat to your room again. 

“Come down, [Name], could you?” your mother says, interrupting your trip back up, “I just want to talk to you for a second.” 

Now, that… that was a bit strange. Your mother rarely ever asked you to talk to her. You spent enough time with each other as is, doing almost everything else besides being in school or at work in the same house, even if it never meant asking about each others’ day. It just was never part of the conversations you had with each other. You’d ask where she wanted you to throw things or how you could cook something, but she’d never go out of her own way to learn about your own day since you were about nine or ten, and it wasn’t like you ever did either. Perhaps she was trying to make the effort to? 

“What is it?” 

“You like writing, honey?” 

“I mean, I guess so?” you reply hesitantly, “As long as it’s not for school or my grades don’t rely that heavily on a task, writing can be pretty fun.” 

“Good, good,” she remarks, nodding her head, “Actually, I recently found something you may be interested in online. You still have your friend and her brother’s house contact, right?” she questioned. Instantly you know which friend she’s referring to and say yes— how could you not, after all? “Ever heard of pen pals, darling?” 

Which brings you to where you are now: your mother leaning by the door frame of your room as you’re hunched over the table writing the letter. Surprisingly, she really seemed to care about this, even preparing the prettiest paper you’d ever seen, with pastel pink patterns printed on the paper’s edges, and though you struggled with what to say it first the words have begun spilling out of you despite how late it’s started to get. 

You wonder whether she’ll reply. She probably will, though, but a fragile part of yourself surmises that she may not, and although you’d like to talk to her again you fear that because of the time that’s passed things may just not be the same anymore. You wonder if the years have made the three of you infinitely different than your eight and nine year old selves. 

But that was growth, right? So you had to grow and learn how to talk to her, learn how to face her without thinking that she’d be angered or frustrated, or anything like that. And even if she did, even if it would hurt you, you’d be able to live. The world would keep spinning and all that would be lost were two friends who you lived without for about four years, ceteris paribus. Who could claim that the seventy or so years after those four would be any different? 

That’s why you took the pen and paper and started to write, telling yourself you’d face it and finish the letter no matter what. Even if it was short. Even if it wouldn’t be enough to express four years’ worth of unspoken words, from funny things that had happened in school, or what you thought of whatever was on the news, or how your parents had gotten you a new phone. 

As your eyelids gradually grow heavier, you watch how you fill two whole pages in the handwriting you have— you wish it could have been at least a tad bit more similar to Tsumiki’s, who never needed any boxes or lines to write completely straight and uniform for each character as if copying excerpts from finely printed books to the letter. 

Soon, you’re reaching the end of the letter, determined to keep the handwriting legible even if you feel like plopping your head on the table and falling asleep— to some degree you still need it to look presentable, after all. 

“(P.S.: I still have your hair tie. Do you know if I’ll ever be able to give it back?)” 

taglist:

@bakananya, @sindulgent666, @shartnart1, @lolmais, @mechalily, @pweewee, @notsaelty, @nattisbored

(please send an ask/state in the notes if you’d like to join! if I can't tag your username properly, I've written it in italics. so sorry for any trouble!)

[margathecreatughhh]

It’s.. it’s been a long time since i wrote something on here.

2022, well, it was different. But im gonna walk you through it - put you on the loop.

I spent january this year chasing my then-boyfriend. Don’t know who it is? Of course not, but you believe me if i told you. It’s the dude i liked my entire junior high. Thats right. I dated my crush. Shit was way different than i had imagined - but its done. Anyways, he often hurt my feelings bc he was a very tactless person. He was ugly too. The cum face was unbearable. Sorry to that man. I ended up leaving him, only realizing i wanted him back. I chased after him for some reason. Spent the last of my money on his expensive ass medicine. Went around looking for a specific kind of drink he wanted. Did all that only for him to tell me “what’s not clicking?” Like the fucking asshole he is. That was when i realized i didnt want to do anything with him. I wanted him gone from my life. And he is gone, finally.

Then the next few months happened. I got assaulted twice in the same year. The first time, i realized it only after a few months. I had hooked up with my senior high school crush then. I told my friend dexter about it and he said “why are you so grossed out by xx but you’re so happy about yy”. Then i realized why i slipped into a lot of self-loathing of xx. Its because i didnt consent to it. I didnt want it. I didnt enjoy it. It was fucking traumatizing. I fucking hate every moment that memory crosses my mind. I wish i never had to go through it. The second time it was also with a friend who i trusted naively. Idk why the fuck i decided to go with him. It was the wrong fucking choice. I only realized it wasn’t okay when i drunkenly called my ex-bestie about it, and he told me it wasn’t okay. The trauma for this one was so bad because every time a room would be completely dark, i’d be scared shitless and i’d teleport back into that fucking bedroom. I fucking hate it so much. I don’t know why i had let that night happen.

Despite it all, i was able to date someone. We lived in together, he let me drive his car, i bought him an expensive ass wallet, a lot. Shit ended ugly tho. He ended up man handling me. We would often get into screaming matches.

I hate myself when im angry. When i have to raise my voice in certain situations. I really fucking hate it. To realize that he brought out that version of me makes me fucking sick. Makes me hate the person i allowed myself to become just because of him.

Dont get me wrong. I didnt want a relationship. I wasnt ready for a relationship. Which made me wonder, why the fuck did i ever force anything to develop between the two of us? Even when i got an ick on the first date? If i could turn back time, i honestly would. Because fuck that situationship for real. Makes me so fucking upset he brought out the worst in me. Making me feel all fucking worthless. Like im always the bad guy. He stole my friends from me too. What kind of fucking person does that? He’s so fucking greedy. He doesn’t give a fuck that my friends no longer hang out with me as long as he gets to hang out with them.

I fucking hate the fact i ever dated him. It was the worst fucking emotional and mental turmoil i ever had to fucking go through. Beat my relationship with gg on a whole mile. Yawa jd kaayo gyud. Ngano man kong nipatol adto niya?

The amount of emotional labour i had to do. Even when he knew my mental state. He’s such a selfish fucking person emotionally. He’s so fucking greedy in the name of “love”. Like what the fuck kind of person makes u feel guilty about leaving them? About wanting some time for yourself? What a stupid fucking situationship. He accuses me of not knowing him when he has this narrative of me being the worst fucking person. Fuck that man for real. I wish all my exes bad luck. I dont care. I know I’ll get guilty once the karma hits them - but shit doesnt happen just because karma wants to. Shit happens to people because they deserve it. The universe thinks they deserve it so its gonna hand it to them.

If im getting my karma. Thats fine. Im the type of person who knows i dont make a lot of great decisions so if karma goes my way, ill let it happen as it should.

I dont know how im gonna move forward from all of this. Ive been feeling so fucking lonely ever since he fucking stole my friends from me. I dont know what to fucking do but i hope i bounce back better when i get back to duma.

I wanna stay optimistic. I wanna have something to look forward to. And yet all ive done since the break up is be so self destructive. I kissed pp, and have him reject me weeks later. Then i hooked up with bb and nn. Then i had kk pick me up and we made out for a bit. He confessed on new year’s but idk i really dont want to deal with anything. I didnt want to do anything with nn because i didnt like his build, his personality is too fucking kind its actually the fucking worst 😭 made me reminiscent of the dude i dated this year. Its always the fucking nice guys who give the most emotional labor so im avoiding nice guys. Or guys in general.

Im in a man-hater phase rn. Fucking pp is crushing on a girl who tried to set me up with him. Yawa. Worst fucking feeling ever. Yawa jd kaayo. It made me see how much of a fucking asshole he is. And i dont wanna deal with him na jd because of how awful he is. Yawa. Pero i might give him cookies still when i get back? Im not sure. I probably will.

I dont know. Im just not bothered to entertain anyone but i am still talking to bb for some fucking reason. It’s probably gonna die out soon. Or probably not. Being with him is fun. But i hope it wont cross to the relationship level. Ill probably just decrease the amount of texting we do. Shits too risky. 2022/3 marga would know why. Hahahahahaha. If something bad happens out of this, you know im gonna either edit this post or make a separate post.

I still dont fucking know if 2023 is gonna be good. Its just making me anxious. Im writing this long ass post knowing i havent finished my plates yet. I havent done anything remotely productive. I dont know why im so fucking depressed. And normally, when i write, i feel a bit better. But only my mood changed. Im not as fucking depressed as i was a few minutes ago but my fucking soul still feels like it has weights on it. Shits so fucking heavy.

I think im still not over the fact that i had to go through months of whatever he put me through shit was so fucking tiring. I did not have to go through that. I did not have to go through every single thing he put me through during and after the relationship. I think my biggest takeaway from all of this is the fact i can feel And see the change that happened in me and it wasnt for the better. I lost so much of my light and life because of him. This is the only relationship i could ever completely say i wish i got back the person i was before him. Yawa jd kaayo. Ambot makalagot nga ing ani na akong state karon. Unta mabalik akong gana sa tanan. Kay sa tinuod lang, nawala gyud. Maka disappoint jd kaayo ang outcome bwiset.

Yawa huhuhuhuhu unta madayon akong mga gi look forward sa 2023.

1. New hair color and hair cut

2. Motor pls

3. cookies for all my friends

4. Mental stability

5. Reclaiming my old self

I really just want to bring the person i was before him. I just want peace. I just want to feel better. I just want to be productive again. I just want to be better.

Ive been rambling for the past few paragraphs as u can see but im just typing as much as i can until i finally lose the dreadful feeling weighing down on me because honestly i still feel like shit. Yawa huhuhuhuhuhuhuhuhuhu

I wanna buy a new vape but i think that also contributes to why i feel like shit so i might quit. Im gonna try hard and quit this year because my nicotine addiction is unexpected and unwelcome and i want to be better about it. So i might actually stop vaping. Please God make me stop vaping 😭

Im also so fucking upset because i looked forward to writing something on tumblr hoping it would make me feel better but the dread isnt going away. I want to feel better but i really cant im so fucking sad and upset and i hope its just the estrogen jud but like this has been going on for months and i honestly just need to meditate and be more accepting of my fate and have to look forward to things because theres so much to unfold for 2023 and i really really really hope my looking forward doesnt go in vain. I love you world. Please dont let me down.

[stickynotestoletters]

ugggh so I am a dirty little slut for sal fisher and I had a thought about it sooooo,,,,

Sal Fisher x GN (masc body) headcanons of what he's like with you

this is gonna be very heavily influenced by the fact I am sleepy and really wanna write this rn!

Warnings: Non-canon-compliant (Sal lives, Larry lives, Todd doesn't go crazy, no murder), some NSFW stuff, switch-bottom leaning Sal, Service Top Sal

Highschool

When he first meets you he's, hands down, the most flustered he's ever been before

Like, he's really into you

He just sees you in the hall and immediately blushes

he goes around his days as usual and stuff still but now he's eyeing you whenever you come into view

it's cute, he looks like a little kitten peering at you from around the corner because he’s too shy to say something

Larry makes little jokes about it and always tells him to talk to you

"wow, what a stalker" is his usual line when he finds Sal looking at you from somewhere

he musters up the courage to talk to you in his junior year when you wear a Sanity's Fall's shirt to class one day

from then on you two talk together whenever you have class and stuff

your parents move into the apartments in your senior year because of a demotion and you and Sal start hanging out outside of school

He finally asks you out on the last day of senior year

You and the gang go out to the football field the night after graduation

after they clean up all of the equipment for the stage

You guys end up smoking a blunt because Larry brought some of his stash and, hey, what's the harm?

You and Sal end up laying in the middle of the field while Larry chases Ash and Todd around on the bleachers

They're laughing and howling at the moon so you two just listen

Sal takes his mask off cause he feels more comfortable laying with it off

He takes out his pigtails and you comb through his hair for a bit

You look him in the eyes and just stop brushing your fingers through his hair long enough for him to look up at you

your eyes both meet and you two just stare

You see the stars in his eyes

Sal just thinks "You're the prettiest person I've ever seen"

"what?" "uhhhh....nothing"

"It's okay Sal!" You giggle at him and he giggles too

you both start giggling at each other and you two hug each other

still, just facing each other, heads tucked into shoulders, chests pressed so tightly together, legs intertwined

It's calm

He feels safe

So safe and warm

It's wonderful

So he sighs and says" I think I'm in love with you"

And it's an accident

He doesn't regret it, not processing it until you say "I'm in love with you too silly"

And you stay like that

no panic or guilt

just tucked away into each other

The gang goes to 7/11 that night-morning really it is 3 am-and get slushies

all of them are teasing you guys as you hold hands on the way there

it's cute

He's cute

You're cute

You both feel warm in the jackets you switch from each other

it's cute

"God the stalker finally got the victim in their clasps, another tragically happy ending" "Shut it Larry Face"

College

You both end up staying in different places after high school

You take a year off college and stay with your parents at Addison Apartments and Sal moves into the gang's house

It's nice, you see each other regularly for dates and ghost hunts

it's blissful

Then Sal starts having his nightmares again and you come over regularly for sleepovers

it's months into this routine of going home, getting new clothes from the apartments, go out with Sal, come and sleep at his place to help with nightmares, repeat that Larry has the most brilliant idea

"Why don't you just move in with Sal? You practically live with him anyway."

This is in front of you two, you're both at the gang's house and drinking some morning coffee

Sal not really jokes and agrees

And then you genuinely agree

It's a big moment for you two

Sal wanted you to move in right away but was scared his nightmares would affect you or you two wouldn't end up working out

So you two complied and stayed where you were

But this is gonna be an actual conversation where he is up for it and knows you two are stable

So you talk about it

You two agree

And you end up moving in that day

it's not that hard since most of your clothes are over there already

It's basically just moving your bed, knick-knacks, and bookshelf in so that's just the big things since you have a queen

It's bliss from there

you both settle into a nice routine and after you start college Sal decides to focus on his music for rn and take a break

You get a job and the dynamic is just... so pure

you guys are finally, finally, okay and the best thing is that you're together

He's still adorable and you're still sweet

You guys end up getting your own apartment outside of Nockfell and Addison Apartments

The gang stays around

Larry ends up moving in with you two for a little bit until he can afford his own place

Sal gets a lot more gigs out there in the city than he would have gotten in Nockfell and you get a job at a little club

Sal ends up playing there often because of you

NSFW headcanons

Okay so Sal is a hopeless romantic

before he moved to Nockfell he never really had anybody else who was interested in him

so he was super hopeless in planning your first time together

once you had slept over with each other a couple of times he makes this grand layout and waits for you to walk in to see him spred on the bed, clad in some cute underwear and nothing else

turns out though you were sick and sent Larry to tell Sal you couldn’t come over cause your phone was dead and you didn’t wanna get him sick

So Larry ends up walking in on a naked Sal and scarying the everloving crap out of him

He makes fun of y'all after that about it

So your first time is honestly uneventful after that whole fiasco

Deciding to just causally hook up at his place instead

Sal is a switch but he leans for bottoming

he can top, he's really good at being a service top

He’s not insecure about himself, he’s pretty big for his height *cough* (9.7) *cough*

but he prefers being spoiled and called pretty

loves being called feminine nicknames like "pretty baby" even if he is topping

stuff that's gender-neutral but is more feminine in origin

He likes it when you do it doggy-style if you're topping just cause if you press him into the mattress he can feel you better inside of him

Whines so much when you go faster

really likes getting fucked stupid, he wants his throat to be sore and his ass to be bed-ridden

Loves topping you when you're in his lap straddling him

He really likes to make you do work for a while, guides you and everything until you're breaking

when you eventually end up asking for him to "just fuck me already Sal...please?" He wants tears down your face, crying and desperate for him or else it’s not gonna happen

He ends up fucking into you like a monster from there if you are

loves when you lay on your back and he's on his knees sitting and thrusting into you, pulling you onto his lap

very vocal either way but he laughs and giggles more with you, his moans are less fucked out and more "oh god, yes!" in nature

His sex drive is really high, he could go for hours

If you end up getting tired when he's bottoming he's gonna bounce on your pretty cock and ride you so pathetically

It's so pathetically adorable

but if he's topping and you get tired he usually asks you if he can fuck you to sleep

You end up agreeing only if he cleans you up after

He doesn't have any severe kinks or whatnot

He's really into being breed though

Tie him up too while you do it

he likes gags as well

when you breed him he'll end up feeling bad after you finish and he can't feel it anymore once it's out

So you end up giving him a buttplug after to compromise

Sometimes if he's being a brat you'll tie him up, gag him, and leave him with a vibrator over stimming him

You'll leave him in the room and come back to a crying Sal, salivating and so fucked out without having even cum once

If you're ever being the brat he does the exact opposite

He'll tie you up but make it so you can't close your mouth

You have to be quiet though, he doesn’t want to hear anything louder than breathing and your pathetic whimpers

you're over stimmed to hell and orgasm so much it's difficult to keep awake

but do not fall asleep cause if you don't get through it to the end it won't end (Consensually of course)

He and Larry definitely hooked up once or twice before meeting you so I think he'd ask you to let him in on it

It becomes a regular occurrence until Larry moves out

But when you do have a threesome and he is feeling dominant get ready to not move for the next three weeks

It's nice though and doesn't end up changing the relationship between you three

That's it, I gotta stop before I cream myself into dirtier shit cause I am his slut. I have Sal Fisher brain rot syndrome so I'll definitely make another one eventually. Request some stuff and I'll be happy to write!

Continuation for Threesome hcs here by request

-Laika

[quirklessidiot]

title : cigarettes and parfaits [2] pairing : older!nanami kento x younger!reader [13 year age gap, ft toji fushiguro] Genre: romance, fluff, josei, mild angst, comedy, strangers to lovers au

Summary: you’re pretty sure you’d remember marrying a man 13 years older than you, right?

Warnings: alcohol, smoking, mild smut, y/n making stupid decisions, everyones a human-au so yeh non-canon stuff and everyone’s happy (periODT) Notes: tbh idk how marriage works in japan, all i know is that once you have both your signatures in the marriage registration certificate with one witness then you guys r married skdjssks anyways onto the story- also might i add this is happy story?? i promise yall, all youll see is cute stuff in this story bcos fuck angst (ok maybe lil angst since you know plot development) but i stand by that nanami kento deserves that trip to malaysia under the sun with his lover! before i forget to add, the age dynamics is that y/n is around 25 and nanami is 38. no power play and all that, just two healthy consenting adults! sorry for the early delete had some minor corrections :( 

Izakaya-informal japanese bar

Masterlist || taglist || [prev ; next]  [updates; every friday yay!]

*13 hours earlier; a night before at some random Izakaya in Tokyo*

You sat in front of your phone and three bottles of saki, despite your friends advising you countless of times to lay off drinking too much, all sense and warnings are thrown off the window tonight.

You’re clearly far from sobriety as you recall the video chat with your otosan not looking too good and bright, “Why don’t you move back home? It’s not like the teaching job at tokyo is all that great! You’re alone there and your obachan and I don’t like that a lot…” your father’s words haunt you again and again.

Just what was wrong with living alone? And excuse your otosan but you definitely had a very good job at Tokyo High (It was a prestigious academy that paid well, best job out there that you still didn’t know how you landed). You mumbled a few curses underneath your breath, Oh, how much you love that oaf of a father and worrywart of a grandmother but could they lay off the idea of settling down? You were a responsible and good child who never had stepped a toe out of line. Wasn’t that enough already? You immediately downed the drink and let the saki burn your throat down.

“Oh ho, slow down there.” You hear someone say, “You’re all alone and it seems like you have no one to help you back home.”

It seemed like the men on the opposite side of the bar had noticed you.

“I can take myself home, thank you very much.” You mumbled, loud enough for them to hear. Unlike older men who liked to prey on you for your innocent stature. The men who sat across you in the Izakaya didn’t really exude that sort of energy (what can you say, you had a knack of experiencing that, unfortunately).

“Are you sure? We can ask the owner to call a cab for you. She’s a woman and she’s a friend of ours.” the other one in robes pipes in, wait, was that a Buddhist monk?

“No, I’m good. It’s just…” You paused before letting out a long sigh, “A bad time so I need to stick around for a bit.”

The white-haired stranger tilts his head just a bit, “Seems like you and a friend of mine are both going through some rough patches.” he replied, pointing towards his blonde company who you didn’t notice until now.

You wordlessly shifted your gaze towards the office worker next to the Buddhist monk, you hadn’t noticed the blonde man until now. It seemed like he was going through a rough time too since the pair was loud and boisterous enough to conceal his silent presence.

You notice how out of place he looks with his crisp and clean suit, hard gaze, and silence. It made you wonder what sort of man hangs out with two contrasting personalities, “You’re wondering if he’s our friend or our boss, aren’t ya?” the white-haired man asks.

You immediately turn red in embarrassment, were you that easy to read? You try to stutter out an apology but the monk waves it off, “It’s alright, we get it all the time. Contrary to popular belief, Kento is two years younger than us and is our junior from high school.” He smiles.

“Ah,” you nodded mutely, “Sorry. It definitely wouldn’t make sense to see a boss and his subordinates at an Izakaya.”

“Oh, Kento-chan doesn’t usually go out drinking but he couldn’t resist. After all, he’s a father with two very emotional teenage boys.” The white-haired man teased in a sing-song voice. It seemed like the three were close, with the way they were carelessly lounging around the stoic and kind-of scary man.

“I’m starting to wonder if he gets that teasing attitude from you.” The blonde man, seemingly out of his trance, called out his friend. Contrasting to his aloof features, he didn’t mask the annoyance in his tone.

“Oh, uh, do you need help?” you quietly asked, tilting your head to the side in wonder. The blonde man’s head snapped to your direction and quirked a brow.

“And you are?” he seemed to be calculating and observing you from head to toe. It suddenly made you a bit self-conscious because this older gentleman had no business being this good looking and scary at the same time.

“Oh, I’m Y/N by the way. I’m actually a high school teacher.” You introduced yourself sheepishly, “I’m always surrounded by angsty teenagers.”

His gaze narrowed just a bit, it seemed like he’ll be giving you the benefit of the doubt. Maybe he was a bit desperate since he was getting advice from a drunk stranger in an Izakaya out of all places, “So what seems to be the problem, Ojisan?”

He’s still quite hesitant so it’s his white haired friend who speaks out for him, “You see, Kento-chan here just moved last week because of a promotion from Kyoto.” he grins, telling the story for his friend, “His kids aren’t very keen with the moving, well one of them is outright showing it and the other one is well keeping it in since he’s just the sweeter one.”

The white-haired stranger keeps babbling on about how his friend had regretted taking the work promotion because it feels like he shouldn’t have done that. You peerlessly observe the older man’s reaction while his friend talks about his problems to you. He remains stoic.

It didn’t look like it but it seemed like this man had such a soft spot for his kids.

How nice, his wife must be proud of him.

“... and before I forget to add, Kento-chan is very much single.”

You almost choke on your saliva, this friend of his sure knew how to run his mouth. It suddenly dawns upon you why this man had been very worried, he was a single parent who only wanted what was best for his boys but he didn’t even know how he should proceed now.

“Um, ojisan?” You quietly call out, “I think you’re doing great.”

Silence lingered in the air for a bit, you cringed at your rather awkward and forward approach, “Excuse me?” the older blonde man asked, clearly dismayed by your response.

“It’s just…” you ears turn red, not from the alcohol but from embarrassment, “You wouldn’t have moved in the first place if the pay wasn’t better than your old job, right? Plus you’re alone and raising two kids. It definitely isn’t easy to provide for everything alone but I can see that you did some careful reevaluation on the whole thing. Obviously you can’t avoid the fact that they feel bad but you can sit them down and talk to them about how the whole thing was beneficial not just for you but for them too.”

You spoke way too quickly that you wondered if the man could understand you.

The blonde man holds his breath for a moment, “I know…” he mumbles, “I just don’t really know how to talk to them.”

“Well, maybe you could take them out?” You advised, “Spend a whole day with them for a while and just move around with them. Help them get acquainted around their new school or something!”

You watch him silently look at his glass and think it over. Man, if this guy wasn’t older, your obaasan would outright agree and tell you to go out with him since she was never fond of how men weren’t as calm or laid back as he was.

“That sounds plausible. Thank you, Y/N-san.” his voice turned a bit softer and you feel your stomach turn just a little queasy by his tone. God, was the alcohol this bad?

“Well, would ya look at that.” the white-haired man grins, placing his drink up as if he was signaling everyone to cheers with him, “I told you drinking at an Izakaya would solve all your problems. For that, we should drink here again next week!”

The man glared at him yet again, “No. I should be heading home now. I can’t be anymore away from S-”

“Ah, ah. You promised that you’d stay until 2 am.” The white-haired man hushed, “Or I’ll be pestering you for a whole month.”

You could definitely tell that a vein popped on his forehead and his blood pressure was shooting up. Man, you were really starting to doubt that white-haired man was older than everyone in this room. He sure had the mental age of an elementary student.

“You also said I could leave after five drinks.”

“That’s only your second.”

“Satoru…” the Buddhist monk dangerously hovers over his white-haired friend. Wow, middle-age men sure were amusing, “You don’t even drink that well and he has to drive home…”

“Tit for tat, I’ll hire one of my personnel to drive you home after five drinks and I’ll leave you alone for a wee-”

“Please just leave me alone for my whole life.” the blonde man deadpanned.

Unlike you, he wasn't such a bad drinker. Four bottles for him and one more drink for you later, you're both kind of woozy and you had gotten on even friendlier terms with the three men who you now know as Geto-ojisan, Gojo-ojisan, and finally, Nanami-ojisan. Nanami was well into his late thirties while Geto and Gojo were in their forties.

If you were sober, you wouldn’t be making friends with older men. With stories of how easily young people are taken advantage of in the big city, you’d swerve away from them. Luckily, it seemed like they were a good trio and not once did they invite you to sit on their table so you had some good distance between you four and so far, they hadn’t tried anything funny or uncomfortable.

Geto is currently a lawyer, Gojo’s apparently some swanky businessman of god knows what        you heard jewelry or something      and Nanami was an accountant. A job that he described was ‘dead-end’ and ‘fucking boring’.

“...What happened to your wife, Nanami-ojisan?” you ask, the alcohol slowly shedding your shyness away.

“I told ya, Y/N-chan. He never was married. The way he got the kids was just complicated!” Gojo Satoru frowns, splaying his long limbs in the air, for a man so enthusiastic with drinking, he sure got drunk pretty quickly.

“Really? Didn’t you have a hard time? Wow…” you whistled, “I have such high…” you raised your hand as high as you could, “...respects for like, single parents!”

“See? See? But he can’t get a partner because of that Y/N-chan.” Gojo pouts, “...We’ve been setting him up on dates and such but he keeps bailing on them!”

“I have kids.” Nanami deadpans, narrowing his eyes.

“What my friends are trying to say, Kento has a number of opportunities to bring a partner into his life but he likes to use the boys and his work as an excuse.” Geto surmised, it seemed like the lawyer was also starting to feel the effects of the alcohol since he had become more talkative.

“He’s good-looking, right Y/N-chan? If he probably didn’t act like some fossil from the Triassic period, he wouldn’t have a problem sometimes about the boys having a mother figure!” Gojo rants, making Nanami flick his forehead.

“Idiot, must you tell this stranger all my problems?” Nanami harshly interjected.

“Well, you do know that to actually get a partner, you must get out there, right ojisan?” you try to calm him down, you didn’t want a bar fight to erupt.

“I know.” he rolls his eyes, “But the kids-”

“I know.” You try to smile, “You aren’t very interested in bringing just anyone in your life, right? The boys need a permanent figure and you think dating around is going to help.”

“Holy shit, Y/N-chan.” Gojo exclaims, “I thought you were a teacher? How come you know all this shit?”

“It’s basic, Gojo-san.” you smile, ready to take another swig of your saki, “You should take into consideration that Nanami-san isn’t just anyone who’d settle for less. He needs stability since he’s technically a parent.”

“That makes you a perfect pair, don’t you think?” Geto nonchalantly replies, “I mean, you need a stable man in your life who has all of it figured out and wouldn’t hold you back at all while Kento here needs a person who could not only be a good parent but also be as understanding.”

“That’s…” you chuckle, he technically was right, “That’s definitely odd how all our problems will be solved if we both just went out together.”

“... looks young enough to be my child.” Nanami rejoined, “why would Y/N-san like-”

“I mean, you’re good looking.” you shrug, rather shamelessly, “I wouldn’t mind going out with you. Heck, I wouldn’t mind if I married you.”

Gojo spits out the saki he was drinking all over the table and that makes you cringe in disgust, “As long as he doesn’t get invited to the wedding. I’d marry you. If you’d like we could even get married right here, right now.” you proudly proclaim.

The blonde man is thrown off by your statement yet he’s too drunk to even sip in the seriousness of your words, “Well as much as I agree on not inviting Gojo to my wedding, I don’t know-” he tries to explain.

“You know what, isn’t Geto-san a lawyer? He could have it notarized and all that right now then we could get married. I’ll be a great mom and help you out then you could help me get my family off my back. You scratch my back, I scratch yours!”

Geto is definitely in shock, how odd was it that he even had a marriage registration certificate in his briefcase back in the car too?

You both could just sign it and Satoru could sign it as your witness and he could have it officially notarized since he had his seal back there too.

Solved.

“So, Nanami-san, what do you say? Wanna marry me?”

Oh god, were you shameless.

Who in the right mind would marry a stranger, one who was thirteen years older and a father?

One thing was for sure, your friends were right. You definitely needed to stay away from alcohol.

taglist [if crossed out, i can’t tag u ; - ;]

; @coldbookworm  ; @frankenstein852  ;  @neavil  ; @shephard17895  @kristineyoshaii ; @airybnb ; @okachansenpai ; @amortentiaxo ; @rinvtaro ; @franko-pop ; @kozutenshi ; @kaldoesthings ; @moonlitdabi ; @chococroissant​ ; @bleepop​ ; ​

@Kurok1717 ;  @hcn421 ;  @shinhiromi ;  @airybnb ; @katshuya  ; ​

[mediocre-writerr]

betty [quinn fabray]

quinn fabray x fem reader

summary: the last part of my quinn fabray mini series! this takes place in the pov of quinn and her side of the story! enjoy : )

*not my gif*

“Quinny?” my mom poked her head through the door, “You got to get ready for school.” she says softly. 

I groaned as I shoved my head into a pillow. I didn’t want to go to school today or well ever for that matter. 

And you’re probably thinking: Quinn what teenager actually wants to go to school? 

i did...once. When I didn’t fuck up the best thing that ever happened to me. Meeting her at her locker, holding her hand down the hall, singing songs to her in glee club. All of it. But that’s all faded away like a moment in time. 

“Not today.” I mumble. 

“Quinn, honey, I let you miss so much school these past couple months. I need you to go just this once.” she whispers before closing the door. 

I let out another groan as I pulled the covers off my body. Stumbling my way into the bathroom. As I look in the mirror the pit that was in my stomach continued growing. 

I hated how I looked. I hated how I felt. I fucked up. It was all on me.

And it all started at junior prom.

“Love, dance with me!” Y/N yelled over the loud music that was playing, trying to pull me out of my seat at the table I was sitting at. 

I smiled widely at her enthusiasm before raising my eyebrows at her. She knows I hate the crowds. Sure, I was popular and wanted the attention.

But there’s a difference between walking down the hall like a bad ass than being trapped in a crowd of thousands, feeling like you’re suffocating and sweating.

“This is my favorite song.” she pouted when I gave her the look. 

I pulled the hand that she had in her hand closer to me. Giving it a sweet kiss, “Next dance, I promise.”

She pouts a little before running back off to the dance floor. I sat there drinking the spiked punch, letting the alcohol burn all the way down my throat and into my stomach. Leaving a warm sensation behind. 

I watched Y/N’s every move. She wasn’t very far away from where I was planted. Jumping up and down, doing crazy dance moves, with Sam. 

I love Sam with every bone in my body, but I was always jealous of the blonde boy. He was a nice guy, funny, good looking and super close to Y/N. 

“Looks like your girlfriend is having more fun with Sam, than she is with you.” Santana says, leaning against the chair I was sitting on.

“I don’t like the crowds. She knows that. She’s just trying to enjoy her prom.” I mumble, trying to ignore her snide remarks. 

Santana hums in response before taking a sip of her own punch, “Sure, let’s keep telling yourself that. And I’ll be the one saying ‘I told you so’ when she leaves you for him.” 

That was it. That’s what started my insecurities. 

Was I good enough for Y/N? Or will she find her own non-complicated love with Sam or Finn? Was Santana right?

After procrastinating for God knows how long, I finally made it to school. 

“Quinn!” Mercedes yelled getting my attention away from locker. 

I tried forcing on my best smile, “Hey what’s up?” 

“You’re coming to Y/N’s party tonight right? Everyone’s gonna be there! I don’t want you to miss it.” Mercedes said.

I shook my head looking down at my shoes, “No. I wasn’t planning on going. I don’t think she would want me there anyway.” I mumble.

Mercedes looked at me sympathetically, “Well I want you to come. Dig yourself out of the depressing hole you’re in and come hang out with people who care about you. Think about it, okay?” 

I nod before she goes running off to talk to Kurt. I open my locker and stare at the cardigan hanging off of one of the hooks. My eyes dart around my locker to see the pictures of the two of us hanging on the walls. 

I miss her.

The bell rings and I weave my way through the somewhat crowded walls and into my anatomy class for homeroom. I take my seat next to Jacob Ben Israel and sigh softly. 

“Alright class take your seats!” Mr. Barnson yells as he walks in the door, taking his bag off.

I look at the empty stool next to me. Y/N wasn’t in here today. She must’ve stayed home. I wish I could’ve, especially after what happened yesterday. 

“Jacob, you’re going to be Ms. Fabray’s new lab partner.” he says and I watch as Jacob’s eyes lighten up.

The afro-hair kid coming to sit next to me, “Can I smell your hair?” he asks, disturbingly. 

I shutter in disgust and raise my hand, “Yes Ms. Fabray?” 

“What happened to Y/N?” I ask.

“Ah, Ms. Y/L/N switched homerooms this morning.” he says nonchalantly while looking back at his list for attendance. 

Oh. 

The day went on and on, dragging like a bad movie that wouldn’t end. Until finally it did. 

I walked to school today. I’ve been walking to school the past couple months. It was a nice break to just clear my head and think about everything. Sometimes it hurt to do, but it was much needed. 

I didn’t want to go straight home today. I didn’t want to go home and just lock myself in my room, curling up into a ball of nothingness. So I walked around more. 

“Quinn? Do you need a ride?” I hear a voice ask.

I turn towards the voice to see Mike and Tina in his car, “No thanks. I think I’m just gonna walk.” 

“Okay. Well we’ll see you tonight, right? We all miss hanging out with you.” he suggests.

“I don’t know.” I say looking anywhere, but them.

“You should.” Tina says before the light turns green and they drive off with a wave. 

I continued walking until I found myself at the mall need Breadstix. I hate the mall. 

I used to love going there with Santana and Brittany back during sophomore year of high school. When I was dating Finn and head Cheerio, but now it just reminds me of everything that went wrong. 

When my insecurity was at its greatest peak. 

“Hello beautiful!” I say as I answer Y/N’s phone call, walking through the mall. 

“Hi love! I miss you so much.” she whispers and I smile softly.

I hear rustling coming from her side of the phone, another girl’s voice, “I miss you more.” I say softly, “Who are you with?”

“Oh I’m with my friend Lizzie. She’s also a intern here and we’re just having dinner! She’s really cool!” Y/N said excitedly.

The rest of the conversation was about her internship and the amazing stuff she was learning and the new people she was meeting. How much she was having.

I should have been happy for her, but all I could think about what was, how much her life is better without me? What a fun life she could have without me? 

I left the mall that I was once walking in and nothing seemed good enough to buy. I was getting closer to my house as I was walking on the broken cobblestone. Just thinking about her.

How much I just want her to come back home and into my arms. How much I want her to let me know that I’m the only one she wants and that I am good enough for her.

Someone’s car came by slowing down next to me as they rolled their window down, pulling me out of my thoughts. Santana was sitting in the driver’s seat with her sunglasses on. Her usual high pony was down which revealed her curly brunette hair. 

She looked like a figment of my worst intentions. Her lips stained with a dark red lipstick and the way she was eyeing me. It just sent shivers down my spine. 

“Quinn, get in, let’s drive.” 

And those four words was all it took. Well four words and a human full of loneliness. 

A car honks shaking me from that terrible terrible memory. Leaving me with a mind and head full of thoughts. 

Should I go to the party tonight? Will she want me there? Will I regret not going? 

There’s two ways me going would play out.

1.) I would get there and she would open the door and slam it on my face. Then she would open it again just to tell me to go fuck myself. 

I shutter at the thought of the most likely scenario. The sun was setting turning the sky into a cotton candy looking sky. What a beautiful sky for a stressful decision. 

Santana laid next to me on the grassy field of my backyard. It was a cotton candy color as the orange hue blended with the dreamy blue. 

I spent the week driving around with Santana. We would go exploring the small town in Lima or just drive around singing to random songs. 

We laid there in silence just staring up at the sky. She took my hand in hers intertwining them together. And in that moment I didn’t care. I wanted to feel something, anything. 

Anything besides this pit of loneliness. 

She turned her head towards mine. And in a beat her lips were on mine. It was soft at first yet passionate. Then the next thing I knew, clothes were flying off, and hands were roaming. 

2.) Y/N opens the door and sees me standing there. I apologize for everything, she leads me to our spot in the backyard. And kiss me in front of everyone. 

Yeah like that would ever fucking happen. 

I didn’t know what I was expecting when Y/N came back from Pennsylvania. After the many nights spent with Santana, I dropped her. Or well ghosted her I should say.

I didn’t answer her calls or her texts. I knew what I did was wrong and I decided to just end it before things could get any worse. 

Was it fucked up? 

Yes, but I did what I had to try and salvage what I had left in our relationship.

I thought I could get away with it too. Until the guilt started eating me alive. The pit in my stomach wasn’t loneliness, it was guilt. 

And then Santana told Brittany. Brittany told Artie. Artie told Tina. Tina told Mike. Mike told Puck. Puck told Mercedes. Mercedes told Kurt. Kurt told Blaine. Blaine told Rachel. Rachel told Finn. Finn told Sam. Then finally, Rachel told Y/N since no one else had the heart to. 

Y/N slammed my locker shut causing me to flinch back, “Tell me she’s lying.” she whispers, her voice breaking. 

“Who’s lying love? What happened?” I say attempting to take her in my arms, but she took a step back.

“Tell me that you didn’t hook up with Santana while I was gone. And that it’s some weird vendetta against you.” she whispers staring at me. 

I couldn’t lie to her anymore. It was killing me. I didn’t want to lie anymore. I just needed to tell her. 

I just stared at her desperately trying to find an explanation. Desperately trying to apologize and explain everything to her, but no words came out.

“Y/N-”

“You did didn’t you?” Y/N asked barely in a whisper.

I nodded sadly and a sob escaped her lips. 

“Y/N please let me-” I try to say and she shakes her head.

“No. We’re done Quinn!” she yells in between sobs running off. 

I looked up and found myself in front of Y/N’s house. 

I wasn’t trying to go here. I guess my feet just carried me here. The party was in full swing and through her window I could see her just sitting there, nursing a cup. 

Her favorite song was playing and she wasn’t dancing. She was just sitting there, trying to smile, but was struggling too. 

It hurt me, knowing that I’m the reason for her pain. 

I hesitantly knocked on the door and the door flung open. Y/N was standing there and she was shocked, but her eyes softened. But it didn’t matter anymore because she covered it up with a harder shell. 

She came out and stepped onto the porch, closing the door behind her.

“Happy birthday.” I whisper.

She mumbles, “Thanks.” 

“Can we talk please?” I ask.

She was thinking about it. I could tell. Her eyes were furrowed and she was biting her lip. She looked in deep thought before nodding and leading me to the backyard garden.

There was a bench swing hanging from the trees. And we took a seat on there together. 

This is the spot. Our spot. 

We had our first kiss here. I asked her to be my girlfriend here. Everything happened right here. 

“Y/N I’m sorry. And before you say anything I know. I know sorry means nothing and it has no excuse for what I did. But I am so deeply sorry. I don’t know much and I don’t have much to say because I wasn’t expecting to come tonight But I do know that I miss you and you were the best thing that has ever happened to me.” I whisper letting all of the tears spill. 

She lets out a shaky sigh, “I know. I forgive you.” 

I smile softly and I try to lean in to kiss her, but she immediately pulls back. Leaving me embarrassed and heartbroken.

“Just because I forgive you doesn’t mean that I want to get back together. I know you know that what you did was wrong. And I trust you when you say that it wasn’t anything special. But it doesn’t mean it doesn’t hurt. I love you Quinn Fabray, but I just can’t do this right now.” she whispers back.

She begins to wipe away the tears from my cheeks. I took in a deep breath before embracing the feeling of her touch. Y/N closes her eyes and rests her forehead on top of mine. 

I cup her cheeks into my hands. My thumb trying to memorize all of the crevasse, cheek bones, every little feature. 

“I will always love you and maybe we’ll be together one day. Just not today.” she whispers pulling away and kissing my cheek softly, “Goodbye Quinn.” 

[dumdumsun]

Forever and Never

A/N: Thank you so much for taking the time to read this series ❤️ I’ve had so much fun writing this and am very proud of and excited for it, I can’t wait to see how people react to this. Um I know there are plenty of warnings for a first chapter, but I promise it’s not as depressing as it sounds. It’s just that this story can deal with heavy stuff sometimes, so I just wanna let you know that. Anyways, hope you enjoy!

Warnings: mentions of marijuana, death, sexual assault and mental illness

Word Count: 3194

—————————————

One: Hi, My Name Is

“So, what was your time in Pennsylvania like?”

“Uh… I’d have to say it was the best… and worst time of my life.”

“Best and worst, huh? Would you like to elaborate?”

“Well, I, uh… I mean, I don’t really know how to, like… explain it. It’s a lot. I don’t even know where to begin… Or how I would even word it or anything.”

“Well, you told me you like television and movies, right? You know those shows and movies where the main character tells the plot as, like, their life story? Maybe you could try that.”

“You aren’t… You aren’t serious, are you?”

“You’ll know when I’m joking, trust me.”

“Oh… Okay, then. Well, um…”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Hi? My name is… (Y/N)? This is my life story, I guess.

So, if we’re going to talk about my life in Pennsylvania, we’re going to have to start with my life in Kansas, first. I had two loving parents that soon turned into one at the too-young age of nine years, when my mom died. I remember her as one of the sweetest people I’ve ever known. She had this way about her that was so carefree, yet she gave a shit about everything. You could never pin a thought to her because she never let you in on what was bouncing around in her head. She was stubborn and patient and lively. I miss her so much. I don’t usually think about her unless it’s a particularly hectic day, which I then resort to talking to the ring I wear on my left pinky finger at all times. Wasn’t anything special, just some cheap ring with a little emerald inside she found at a thrift store. It used to be hers and she’d wear it on the exact same finger. My dad said she’d want me to have it.

My dad is my favorite person. He isn’t the most… present, though. His mind is never set in one place, always racing with hundreds of unrelated thoughts. It’s why when you finally drag him back into reality, he can’t repeat a single sentence spoken to him. Regardless, he’s all I had for a long time. I never really learned what he does for a living, but I just know that it forces him to leave town sometimes. Well, more like all the time. Before my mom died, it was easy for him to leave for weeks on end, but when he became my only guardian, he didn’t really know what to do with me. It was like he completely forgot how to take care of a child, his child. When I turned twelve, that was when he started travelling again. I would then be home by myself for a month to eight weeks. In these times, I had no choice but to learn to cook for myself, go grocery shopping and housekeep. I became pretty independent at a young age. It wasn’t like Dad left me totally alone, though. He would call every two or three days and he sent me two hundred dollars every two weeks. Like I said, I don’t know what my dad did, but he was definitely getting paid. At the end of eighth grade, Dad had a particularly long trip to go on, so he sent me to Pennsylvania, where his sister lived.

Pennsylvania was partially the best part of my life because of my family. My Aunt Pam was like a second mother to me. She was never able to have another child after my cousin Jacob and she’s always wanted a daughter of her own, so that’s what I was to her. The daughter she could never have. I’d often find her staring at me with a bittersweet smile on her face, watching my every move with a sense of pride, but when I’d ask her what was wrong she’d only brush it off as her admiring me. My Uncle David didn’t necessarily view me as a daughter, but he certainly treated me like one. When he wanted to spend time with Jacob, he included me as well. We’d usually go on drives around the town, but I always fell asleep to the soft and serene music that filled the car from the radio. On the weekends, we would head down by the lake and spend hours learning to fish.

I hated it, but I couldn’t complain. It gave me a sense of certainty to live with a father figure who didn’t leave me alone every two or three months.

Jacob was like a brother to me. He’s a year older than me, which, to him, meant that he had to protect me at all costs. I always assumed it was because he always wanted a younger sibling, and I was the closest he was ever going to get to that. I always felt as though I’d never be able to equal Jacob on an intellectual level because he practically had the IQ of Albert Einstein himself. I felt inferior to him until I found out how much of a joy he really was. On the weekends, he would beg me to accompany him in a movie marathon. I learned that Jacob was a huge fan of Tim Burton (his favorite was Beetlejuice). He’s the only cousin I’ve ever known. Mom and Dad didn’t like each other’s families, so I never met anyone besides this little family. Moving in with them meant that they’d have this huge burden on them.

Yes, I almost forgot to mention that I struggle with Obsessive Compulsive Disorder, or OCD. It just means that my mind is flooded with these crazy and unnecessary thoughts and so my behavior is affected by them. For example, if I were to blink and felt I put more pressure on my left eye than my right, I would have to repeatedly wink with my right eye until they felt balanced. Sometimes I can’t enter a room until I have inhaled eight times. If I scratch an itch on my left knee, I have to scratch the right one in the exact same place. At the sink, even if I don’t use both knobs, I have to hold both in my hands. And when I turn them off, I often have to check about four times before I am certain they’re turned off all the way. I know, it sounds tiring. Just imagine being on my end, having it be a part of who you are. I can’t do anything to stop it, I wish I could. I was always afraid to make friends because of this. If I couldn’t be balanced, I’d freeze, and I mean actually stop whatever I’m doing and stand still, until my body felt as if I were balanced once again. Who wouldn’t make fun of me for this?

Apparently, no one gave a shit about it. After moving to Pennsylvania, I made quite a name for myself at school. Literally. My name was Zip. I have no fucking clue how that ridiculous name came to be, but that’s what I went by day after day. One could say I was considered popular, but it wasn’t like I actually spoke to anyone. When it came to extracurriculars, I only participated in theatre. I never was part of the cast, just the stage manager. Secretly, I wanted so badly to audition and be a part of the magic they created on that stage. Not to boast or anything, but I had the talent and potential to be a starring role. But I could never bring myself to break out of my shell. Nonetheless, being stage manager still got me quite the attention. Everyone was always so nice to me, so I felt a little bad for not considering any of them as friends. That was until I met Dina.

Dina was new to our school sophomore year. She had this sort of light to her that attracted the pesky moths that were our dull and boring school body. We had the same social status in school. People liked our personalities, so we were well-liked and accepted without doing much to prove ourselves worthy. She was sweet and compassionate and so fun. I didn’t mean to become her friend, but she was so welcoming, despite being the newcomer. We became close friends, but not best friends. We already had people filling those roles.

Dina’s best friend was Sydney Novak. Sydney moved to Brownsville around the same time as Dina, so the two became best friends quickly, but Sydney wasn’t very popular at all. She was shy and introverted, but I thought she was nice enough. I liked her and thought she was a pretty cool person. We weren’t necessarily friends, we were just well acquainted simply because we were both close with Dina. The transitive property, if you would. I just wish we could’ve talked more, our relationship was pretty much nonexistent.

Speaking of nonexistent relationships, let’s talk about Richard Berry. I honestly don’t want to even think about him, but he played a role in my life that was too vital to just offhandedly mention. For some odd reason, Ricky Berry was absolutely in love with me. It was so obvious to everyone except for me. Sophomore year, he expressed his love through the most arrogant and cheesiest of pick-up lines and compliments. I wasn’t so easily won over, if you could guess. I tried being good friends with him, but he’d always fuck it up when he tried to initiate intimacy. I didn’t want to hold hands with him in the halls or receive “friendly” cheek kisses. I’m not what you would call affectionate, especially towards people I’m not close to. It’s just never been comfortable for me. Junior year, everyone around me was buzzing with excitement when they heard Ricky was going to ask me to be his girlfriend. The cheerleaders, who got to know him through his high school football career, constantly pestered me with reasons as to why I would be so lucky to date The Richard Berry. Granted, he became less of a dick junior year, so I thought, Why not?, and accepted. Being in a relationship with Ricky was the most one-sided… anything I had ever been a part of. He was undeniably enamored with me, but I couldn’t find it in myself to reciprocate those feelings. He would show me off to his family and friends like a trophy, but if someone asked me if I had a boyfriend I’d go, “I mean, yeah. I guess”, so not a very healthy relationship. It also didn’t help that Ricky knew nothing about boundaries.

One night, we were in his bedroom, studying for a science test. Ricky wasn’t focused at all and kept trying to kiss and cuddle with me. I let him for awhile, but then he took my book from me and set it on the ground beside his bed. He suggested we have sex right then and there. Now, I was never a prude and definitely didn’t wait to have sex for the first time, but I never wanted Ricky to be my first. He hadn’t earned enough of my trust to even touch me suggestively. So, of course I refused. Ricky only took that as me teasing him, so he advanced, nearly forcing himself on me. Using all my might, I shoved him off of the bed. He stood to his feet, utterly confused, but I only gathered my things and left his house. He tried following after me, but I ignored him until he turned and went back into his home. The next day at school, he was holding me and kissing me and showing me off to everyone like he always did. As if nothing happened between us the night before. It was difficult to do, since he was so inconsiderate, but I managed to break up with him. He tried to deny that we were Splitsville for about a week, but everyone caught wind of our break-up. Once everyone knew about it, it became true for him. I never really felt comfortable with being intimate or open with guys after that.

Besides with Stanley Barber, of course. Stan was my best friend in the entire world. I told only my deepest, darkest secrets to him. And he told me his. The only things we really had in common were our lack of mothers and our hideous bacne. Stan lived a few houses down and was eager to get to know me a week after I moved in. I’d never met anyone in my life like Stan. He was so awkward, but loveable. I don’t know, I guess he reminded me of my mom. The way he didn’t care, but he so clearly did. Whenever I wanted to talk about something that was difficult to voice, we’d smoke to ease the tension. Of course, this wasn’t how we always communicated. Despite his nervous stuttering, he was easy to open up to. Stan provided a sort of security in my life. He was never going to leave me and that put me at ease when hanging out with him, which we did regularly. I don’t know when exactly I developed a crush on him, but I never wanted it to surface in our bond. He was to never know. It was just a stupid crush, right? He was a guy who wasn’t family and was so unbelievably caring towards me. It was bound to happen, but that didn’t mean he had to be aware of it. Though, it was a little hard to keep such a secret when we’d both made out twice already. The first time was while I was dating Ricky, the kiss was very awkward and ended after about a minute and a half. The second kiss was just half a week after my breakup. That time, we’d both known what we were doing. And I may be a little biased, but you couldn’t have even thought to fake the passion in that makeout session. We never talked about either of those kisses and remained friends both times. I’d be lying if I said it didn’t bother me that we didn’t become anything more afterwards. It was for the best, though, because two weeks before spring break, my dad returned from his job in Georgia and moved me to Kansas again. The move was so abrupt that I didn’t even get a chance to say goodbye to anyone besides my family.

My life in Kansas for the second time was something I’d never want to experience ever again. Since it was a little late in the year, I finished junior year online. For some unexplained reason, my dad had us get new phones and new numbers, so I lost all contact with my friends. I had no one to talk to and it wasn’t like my dad paid much attention to me. I remember spending every waking moment with him when I was younger, talking or playing games or watching television. It used to be so fun being his daughter, but when we moved back to Kansas, I just felt like this huge burden in his life. Our relationship was strained and he clearly had other priorities in his life. Like whatever he left back in Georgia. I’d see his phone ring and the same number from that state would pop up before he’d leave the room and privately talk with whoever. It wasn’t the secrecy that was off-putting to me, it was the fact that it was so much more important to him. Once again, I was ignored by the one person in my life I wanted to spend the most time with. So, you can imagine the joy I felt when Dad had to go back to Georgia for work. I had been attending public school for my senior year and left not even a full month in. It didn’t bother me, I had no friends and nothing to leave behind. Mid-September was when I moved back to Brownsville with Aunt Pam. Everyone accepted me right back in. Especially my classmates. As I walked the halls I heard whispers like,

“Oh, my god, is that Zip?”

“Zip’s back! Where’d she even go?”

“I thought she died.”

The only person I really wanted to notice me was Stan. I missed him so much, I even got into his favorite band to have something to remember him by. I remember the day I got back to my aunt’s house. Jacob had picked me up from the airport and was driving me to the house. He was attending community college, but was still living with his parents. As we drove, he tapped his index fingers rhythmically to the shitty pop music that played on the radio. “So, what are you excited about for senior year?”

“Not much, I just missed Dina and Stan. Theatre, too. I wonder how they’ve been doing without me.” I chuckled. Jacob huffed in amusement.

“But you didn’t miss Ricky?”

“Fuck, Jake, you know I didn’t miss him for a second.” I frowned, waving my hand in dismissal. My cousin tauntingly laughed at me. Had he actually known about what happened between Ricky and I, he wouldn’t have teased me. In fact, Ricky wouldn’t even be alive that day if Jacob found out. No one knew about the incident, not even Stan.

Pulling up in front of the house, we got out of the car and headed to the trunk to pull out my bags. I tried carrying them in, but Jacob insisted that he do all the heavy lifting and simply asked me to carry my backpack and close the trunk. I did what little I was asked of and headed to the front door to greet my aunt and uncle inside, but stopped. In the corner of my eye, I saw movement from the Barber residence. Turning, my eyes locked on Stanley, who was frozen beside his car. He was wearing his work uniform and staring at me with the most bewildered expression on his face. It was like he thought himself to be hallucinating my existence. Smiling, I simply waved at him before walking back inside. When he got home from work that night, he headed over to my house and knocked on the door. I answered with a grin on my face. “Stan!”

“If it isn’t the famous Zip, showing back up in my life.”

“Ugh, do not call me that.” I rolled my eyes playfully before bringing him into a hug. He wrapped his arms around my waist and rested his chin at the top of my head. I would’ve stayed there all night if I could’ve. When Stanley pulled away, my heart hollowed and a pit formed within my stomach. I felt unfinished, unbalanced. And I hate imbalance. He asked if I wanted to hang out and I accepted his offer. All we did was lay on his floor, listen to music and get high, but in that moment, that’s all I needed.

Bloodwitch, a joint, and Stan laying by my side.

—————————————

Taglist: @melinda-hargreeves @sapphicsyn @stqnley @lonely-kermit

[lillian-nator]

I haveth returned to redeem myself: Tommy is anxious abt Phil being mad at him for sneaking out again, but he decides to text techno bc he and Tubbo needs picked up and they're very cold, Techno, realising he prob should be mad but not being mad after seeing Tommy and Tubbo just waiting for him and laughing and joking instead he just sighs and asks what stupid things Dream did at the party once they get in the car (blackmail purposes obviously) and just settles for seeing Tommy light up and tell him how Dream fell down the stairs, at least his brother is having fun, techno says to himself - 💙 (Tommy totally got made to clean technos room as thanks for not ratting him out)

Blue, you are my lord and savior. I have to answer your other ask after this - I don’t give you enough credit Blue. 

SO, Tommy keeps sneaking out because he can. He has only been caught two times. The one time he was high. And the time Techno caught him. 

All three of his brothers couldn’t imagine how much Tommy sneaks out, and then helps Tubbo out of his own window - I mean, Tommy probably learned how to pick locks at one point just because he can. They would never know that in the night, most of the time, Tommy is out and about, exploring abandoned buildings or chilling throughout the town. 

One of Tommy’s favorite activities to do when out at night is house hopping. It’s something that Punz came up with, where, usually Dream, sneaks out of their house, and then sneaks into somebody else’s. Then those two people sneak into another person’s house, and then the three of them go to the next. Everyone has to text the ‘gang’ to see who is awake and down for the game first, but it usually ends up with a good 7 - 9 kids just sneaking around at night, laughing their heads off when Ponk gets stuck in his window again. They end up stealing snacks from each respective house, and then going to chill in Dream’s house, because he has a soundproof room. 

Sometimes they bring scooters and skateboards too, which is always fun. George always seems to have a few spare scooters around for people who need them, and Tommy borrows Dream’s extra skateboard - a skill he picked up very fast with the help of Karl. 

We’re getting off topic here, the night that Tommy called Techno, he was at another one of Dream’s infamous parties. 

How Technoblade and Wilbur got cut out of the loop when the entire Senior and Junior class was invited to this party is unknown - but Tommy damn well knows that he asked Dream to keep it away from his brother’s circles. It wasn’t only him that would be affected, but Tubbo too since Eret is one of Wilbur’s closest friends. Hell, if either of his brothers caught wind of the party, Purpled probably wouldn’t be able to make it. Technoblade has his ways. 

So, it was very late at night. Maybe 2 or 3 - or maybe even 4 in the morning. It was cold. So fucking cold outside. Cold enough that he knew that he wouldn’t make it trying to walk all the way home. 

Purpled had already gone home, his house only down the block, but Tommy and Tubbo were stuck waiting outside. 

Tommy knew that Dream would let them stay the night. He knew that. George and Karl were sure to stay over. He thought he saw Quackity passed out on the couch next to Punz - and Tommy wasn’t sure, but he thought he saw SapNap sleeping in Dream’s room when he headed out the door. 

It’s not that Tommy didn’t have a place to stay. It’s that if he stayed here, he would have to admit to Phil, Wilbur, and Techno that he snuck out. And Tubbo, who was in a similar situation to him, would have to admit that he was sneaking out to his brother, Eret. 

Tommy did know one person who he could call - who was definitely sober enough to drive, unlike the teens in Dream’s living room - that might not tell on him, and who was the only person he knew that would be up this late in the morning. 

And honestly, a maybe, in that moment, was enough for Tommy to call. 

When Technoblade first received a call from Tommy, he was confused. 

Techno was sat in his bed, computer on his lap, deep in his English Essay, when Tommy called him. Confused, he picked up, what could Tommy want that he couldn’t have come two doors down for? 

“Techno?” Tommy asked and shuddered. There were cars behind him. 

“Where are you Toms?” Techno grunted, he knew for sure that Tommy was not in his bedroom. “Did you get stuck the roof again?” 

“Yeah.” Tommy laughed, sounding drunk off of his tiredness, but Techno knew that Tommy wouldn’t be able to speak if he was actually drunk, he was there the one time Tommy drank. “About that.” 

“You snuck out again didn’t you.” Techno groaned, why couldn’t Tommy just do what he was asked for once?

“You know me so well Technoblade!” Tommy cheered his tone dripping with sarcasm. “We are at Dreams. He had a big party - woo hoo. Can you come pick us up?” 

“Who is us?” Techno asked, intrigued, but slowly getting out of his bed.

“Me and Tubs. It’s cold Techno, can you please come pick us up?” He could hear the desperation in the blonde’s voice. 

“Yeah.” Techno sighed. “I’ll be there in 5.” 

Driving there was a debate. Techno was arguing whether or not he should tell Phil. On one hand, his 15-year-old brother was consistently sneaking out until ungodly hours of the morning, to go to parties and other stupid shit. Shit that should probably be stopped by Phil. On the other hand it was great blackmail material and -  

He looked out his window, to see the two boys on the stairs. Laughing their asses off. A fond smile played on his lips as Tommy seemingly doubled over in laughter, rolling on the ground. 

“Tommy get out of the grass, you’re gonna stain your fucking jeans.” Techno snorted  at the boys. 

They both eagerly looked up, and Techno could see how visibly cold they were. Their noses and cheeks red, their shoulders shivering, and their breath visible.

“Hurry up, get in. We can get some coffee or something to warm you guys up.” 

Tommy and Tubbo both hurriedly climbing into the backseat, sitting close for more warmth. Techno threw them both a hoodie that he grabbed on his way out of the house. 

“Tubbo I want that back on Monday at school.” 

Tubbo rushidly put it on, speaking faster with every breath. “Thank you Techno. Could you just drop me off though, I need time to get back in before Eret notices.” 

“Yeah sure Tubs. We’ll get there in a minute.” 

The trio continued the drive in silence, Techno not being one to start the conversation, and Tommy and Tubbo trying to warm themselves up. 

Techno stopped the car a block away from Tubbo’s house, knowing that the car lights would bring suspicion to Eret who may or may not be awake at this time of night. 

“Thank you so much Techno! I’ll be sure to give you the hoodie back on Monday.” Tubbo exclaimed. 

“You got it Tubbo.” Techno smiled in the boy’s direction. 

As soon as Tubbo shut the car door, Techno could hear shuffling as Tommy climbed over the bar, sitting himself in the passengers seat next to Techno. 

Tommy’s eyes were slightly closed, he could tell how tired the boy was. I mean, Techno had no way of knowing how many times a week this boy regularly skipped sleeping. Sleep deprivation would crush him sooner or later. His blonde hair was a mess, sticking up in multiple directions out of the hoodie that was two-sizes too big on him. 

It dawned on Techno that it was Wilbur’s hoodie.

“You wanna get some coffee? Maybe a snack?” Techno offered, putting his hand on the shift, and turning around the car to back out of the street. 

He watched Tommy’s eyes light up at the sound of food, and a warm drink. 

The blonde hummed, “Yes please.” 

It was odd, really, For Techno to see this kind of contentment on his brothers face. It was always rushed excitement, or some sort of anger. Recently, Tommy had been really good at keeping his emotion in check - keeping his face calm when he was angry, or staying quieter when he was excited. 

Techno guesses that it’s just a part of Tommy growing up. 

Something that he is not willing to admit is happening. Not yet. 

But still, it was strange to see the smile cross his brothers face without thought, the blonde subconsciously snuggling closer into the hoodie. 

Techno sighed, a smile finding a place on his own face, “Did you have fun?” 

Tommy’s eyes lit up, shy smile forming into a wide grin. “You should’ve seen it Techno it was so fun. You should’ve seen Dream - he was a fucking mess. Wait till you hear the stories, he fell down his own stairs. Twice!” 

A fond smile still playing on his lips as he pulled into the Dunkin’ Donuts Drive Through. 

On one hand, his 15-year-old brother was sneaking out, going with people he shouldn’t be with, to places he shouldn’t be, sacrificing the sleep that he desperately needs at his age. On the other, his little brother was happy. Really, really happy. 

“Okay.” Techno decided, cutting Tommy off. “I won’t tell Phil, or Wilbur.” 

“Wait really?” Tommy asked skeptically. 

“Yeah.” He ruffled Tommy’s hair. 

“Cool.” Tommy decided. Techno moved up a spot in the Drive Through. 

“But,” Techno grinned, “You have to clean my room.” 

Tommy sighed, his mouth becoming a firm line. “Okay.” 

“Okay?” Techno asked. 

“Yeah,” His mouth forming a shy smile again, “Deal.” 

With that Tommy stuck out his pink finger - something that he hadn’t done since he was 8 years old. 

Techno blinked, then locked his finger with the blue-eyed teen. 

Maybe the old Tommy wasn’t gone just yet. 

[13-reasons-ideas]

So I have this idea, You know how people want/like things they can’t have, MontyxOC have always had this friendship that bordered on something more but it never got there. She gets a boyfriend, Monty starts avoiding her majorly & their friendship crumbles until one night he shows up at her door & lays his cards out, they have a heated argument but then it turned into into something else quite heated😘 and as bad as it was that she cheated she doesn’t regret it, he’s all she’s ever wanted anyway

Why Didn’t You Say Anything? 

A/N: contains SMUT. DNI if under 18. 18+ ONLY. Trigger warning: rough CONSENSUAL sex. I hope you like this. I’m sorry it took WAY too long to get around to finishing but I was having a lot of issues finding inspiration for requests. I’ve found it again though so expect more to come. As always, I love feedback and much love. - Em

Montgomery and I had been friends since… well since forever. As long as I could remember anyway. He was a quiet kid. Kept to himself for the most part when we were younger. I wouldn’t come to find out why exactly that was until much later on in our friendship. We bonded over a love of the same candy. It sounds stupid thinking back on it now, but at the time we were just kids. We didn’t really know how to have interests yet.

Eventually, as we got older and we developed our things, we found that even though our interests didn’t really match the way people thought they should-I was a novice musician, he was on his way to being a star athlete- we bonded over our passion and drive for our respective things. He would come over to my house and watch me teach myself to play guitar, play piano, or sing. I would meet him in the park and play catch when he discovered a love of baseball. Or when we started middle school and he would try to teach me how to throw a football. That… never went very well. But he was pretty good at catching it regardless as it turned out, so it worked out in the end.

Our friendship started to change around middle school too. It wasn’t noticeable at first. He started spending more and more time at my place. By then I had learned what his father was like behind closed doors. That had been an interesting phone call to my mom to come get me. Our conversations became even longer and more personal. We talked about our hopes and dreams. Where we wanted to end up when we were finally adults. The running thing was that no matter what we wanted to be when we grew up that week, we were always staples in each other’s futures. I started to seek him out at lunch more. I felt this desire to be near him that I couldn’t explain. Or maybe I could, and I just didn’t want to, for fear of being rejected and losing my best friend.

In high school, when we made different friends and traveled in different circles, we were still best friends. We had always been basically inseparable. Montgomery and Juliette. Julie and Monty. Where you saw one of us, you usually found the other. I waited for him after football and baseball tryouts and my dad made waffles for dinner when he made the team. There was a seat basically reserved for me at games since freshman year. I only missed two games in three and a half years. Once when I had strep throat in sophomore year and once when my uncle died last year. Monty didn’t want to go to that week’s game. I told him if he didn’t, I would never play piano for him again. For his part, Monty sat through countless hours of me learning songs or listening to tons of voice memos while I was writing my own. He was at every one of my gigs, no matter how big or small. It didn’t matter if there was ten people or a hundred people, he was always there, sitting in the first or second row. Even Bryce Walker couldn’t come between us.

I couldn’t help but feel like there was something more than friendship between us. I was still too afraid of rejection to say anything and he never said anything either. Other people had always made comments about our friendship and how close we were. But we both just laughed it off and attributed it to people not understanding that guys and girls could just be friends. When we were in junior year and it became clear to me that the feelings I had ignored and buried for so long, weren’t reciprocated, I decided it was time to move on. There was no point in pining after someone who didn’t want me back. And as luck would have it, the perfect person to get my mind off of my best friend had just moved to town and was assigned as my chemistry lab partner.

Parker Johnston was an average height, thin but lean, young man from Ohio. He had shaggy blond hair and cobalt blue eyes. He came from a stable, well off family, but he wasn’t a show-off about it. His parents were mortgage brokers who wanted to work in, but not live in the city. Essentially, he was everything Montgomery de la Cruz… wasn’t. He did still like sports though. They have that to bond over. I thought after my first conversation with him after chemistry. I invited him to have lunch with us. The guys on the football team liked him. Even Monty was nice to him. Though, at that point, none of us knew what would become of Parker and I hanging out.

**

“I don’t know Monty. We are just going for burgers at Rosie’s. It’s not like I’m going to marry the guy.” I was on the phone with Monty while I got ready for my first date with Parker. We had been hanging out as friends for seven months or so. Over the summer, we had connected more and found we had more than just a mutual dislike of our chemistry teacher in common.

“Well, what do you think will happen?”

“On our date? Or are you asking if I’ve thought far enough ahead to actually consider if we are getting married? Because I haven’t thought further ahead than my math test next Friday.”

“On your date.”

“I think I will have my usual cheeseburger with pink lemonade, and we will talk. Maybe split a milkshake for dessert. Green or grey shirt?”

“Is it the green with polka dots?”

“No, the plain army green one.”

“Grey. The green one gives you too much cleavage. A cheeseburger and lemonade? That’s it?”  

“He’s seen me in the green one before, and no it doesn’t, but whatever. Yes Monty. That’s it. Why do you care so much, anyway?”

“I don’t. Just want to know what you’re planning. Make sure you’re safe.” I rolled my eyes.

“Well, I appreciate your concern.”

“Anytime. Are you coming to the game on Friday? It’s our second home game. First game of October. You know how you love fall games.”

“Of course, I’m coming. It’s not like I have a choice anymore, you guys are stuck with me.” I joked.

“Haha very funny Julie.”

“I try. Hey, listen. I gotta go. Parker will be here soon. I’ll call you when I get home.”

Our first date was going great. We had been to Rosie’s before together, but it was different now that we were on a date. We were there for hours, just sitting and talking to each other. Monty texted me around eight, just to check in. You still out or do I need to call the cops?

I’m still here. All good. He left me on read. I assumed it was because I was still out. “Everything okay?” Parker asked when he got back from the bathroom.

“Oh, yeah. Just Monty checking in.”

“Fair, fair. I guess that’s my cue to take you home for the night?”

“I suppose so.” Even though we had verbalized the need to leave, neither of us moved to leave.

“One more order of fries?”

“Yes.” After our last order, Parker drove me home and I called Monty to spill all the details as I got ready for bed.

The following Friday, Parker and I went to the game together. It was the first time we were going together just the two of us, and not with a group of friends.  As far as high school football games go, this one was pretty standard. We held hands through most of it. Bryce’s parents were out of town again, so he was having a “we lost but I have money so let’s all get wasted” party. “I’ll meet you in the parking lot? Or did you want to just meet at Bryce’s place? I have to go talk to Monty.”

“We can meet at his place if you want.” He looked confused.

“It’s tradition. I always wait for him. I have since freshman year.”

“Oh, okay then. I’ll see you at Bryce’s place Jules.” He kissed me. I smiled into it before pulling away. I watched him turn and walk down the bleacher steps and turn towards the parking lot before running off to find Monty.

I spotted him talking to Luke and Scott. His back was turned to me. They saw me coming but didn’t react. They know me so well now. They know exactly what is coming. I smiled playfully before wrapping my arms around Monty’s waist tightly. He laughed and pried my hands off of him, before turning around and lifting me up in a hug. I didn’t even complain about the sweat. “You know that doesn’t surprise me anymore Julie.”

“I know. But it’s fun.” He was still holding me. “Are you going to like… put me down at some point?”

He turned back around to face Luke and Scott. They were shaking their heads, grinning. “Nah.” He decided.

“Well. I don’t need to see inside the boy’s locker room so you put me down outside.”

“What, you mean you don’t want to see a whole lot of Brycey’s pasty white ass?” Luke teased.

“No. No I do not. Every day I don’t see that is a good day for me. And since you are hell bent on carrying me, can I at least be comfortable? My legs are just dangling here.” Monty stopped walking so I could wrap my legs around his waist like a backwards piggyback ride. His hands went under my thighs to support my weight.

Thankfully, he put me down outside the boy’s locker room. I played around on my phone while I waited for him. “You know, I smell like sweat now.” I said when he came out, freshly showered and changed. He shook his head and smirked.

“I don’t see that as a bad thing.”

“Dude. I smell like your sweat.” He rolled his eyes and stopped to dig around in his bag. He pulled out one of my t-shirts. It was a little wrinkled but still presentable. I took it when he handed it to me. “Thank you. I’ve been looking for this. How long have you had it?”

“A while.” He shrugged. I ran into the girl’s room to change. I handed him my other shirt.

“Since it’s your sweat, you can wash it.”

“You know, you never used to complain about smelling like sweat after a game.”

“Well, I didn’t have a boyfriend who would care then.”

“Juliette, you didn’t have boyfriend period.”

“You say like you’ve had a girlfriend.”

“Oh, shut up.” He pushed me playfully.

“You know. How the hell did we get to our senior year of high school and neither one of us has actually dated anyone? Tyler Down has been on dates.”

“You’ve been on dates before.”

“Yeah. but it was never anything worth getting past the end of date three. And I wouldn’t call what happens in bedrooms or bathrooms at parties, dating. You’ve been on dates too.”

“I mean, sure. But they weren’t serious.” We had made it to the parking lot now. “I’ll see you at Bryce’s?”

“Yeah. I’m meeting Parker there.”

“Awesome.” I hugged him again before sprinting to my car.

The party was in full swing by the time I arrived. I had run to Walplex to grab a bottle of Advil on the way. Monty’s Jeep was parked out front and I spotted Parker’s Ram was parked up the road a little ways. I parked in an open spot and made my way past the people milling in the front. “Julie!” Bryce called, raising his beer in my direction.

“Bryce!”

“Hey Monty, your girl is here.”

“Not my girl Bryce.” Monty laughed as he handed me a drink.

“How many has he had already?” I whispered.

“Two.” I blinked slowly.

“So, is this Bryce in a good mood?”

“Yup.”

“Huh.”

“Hey Jules.” Parker snaked his arms around my waist and kissed my head. “Hey Monty.”

“Hey. Parker.”

“Oh, shit you’re right. She’s his girl now.”

“Fuck off Bryce.” I teased. Monty was looking at Parker and I with his brow furrowed. I mouthed later to him.

The three of us moved through the party easily. Monty and Parker talked about the game. I tuned them out. I was too busy watching them. It was nice to see my boyfriend and my best friend getting along so well. Maybe that was why I never dated much before. I was scared they wouldn’t get along. Soon enough, Scott pulled Parker away to chat. “Go ahead. I’m good here with Monty.”

“You sure?” I nodded, placing my hand on his arm.

“Just don’t steal him for too long Reed.” I kissed him on the cheek. Scott nodded. When they were out of earshot, Monty spoke.

“You didn’t tell him you hate being called Jules?”

“It’s cute when he does it.”

“Julie. I saw your face when he said it. Your eye twitched.”

“Muscle spasm.”

“Mhmm. Sure.” I caught Scott’s eye from across the room. He nodded slightly to me. I took that to mean I should hear what they were talking about.

“Oh, would you look at that. My cup is empty. Time for another drink. Refill?” I took his cup anyway and he followed me into the kitchen.

While I was refilling our cups, Monty’s with beer and mine with a Crown and Sprite, I listened in on their conversation. Monty tried to hide it but I knew he was listening too. We whispered nothings to each other to make it seem like we weren’t eavesdropping. “So what exactly is their relationship then?” Parker asked. He’s asking about me and Monty.

“They’ve been best friends for as long as anyone can remember. There isn’t anything more to it.”

“They seem to spend a lot of time together.”

“Like I said, they’re best friends. And I don’t think I’m the person you need to be having this discussion with.”

“You know them best. Do I need to be concerned?”

“What? No, of course not. Look. She’s never really dated anyone before. It’s always just been the two of them. You have been seeing Julie for a week officially. It’s going to take some time for that relationship to change. Just leave it alone for now. And Monty is a good guy. He’s an asshole. But he’s a good guy. If he wanted to make a move, he wouldn’t do it now. Not knowing that she is in a relationship. You really should talk to Julie about this though.”

“I will. I just wanted to get a little bit of insight from someone else first. Thanks man.”

“No problem.”

Parker did that guy handshake thing with Scott and started walking in our direction. My eyes widened. Monty just smirked and mouthed math test to me.

“Anyway, yeah. That math test was totally brutal.”

“I’m sure you did great.”

“I’m literally eighty percent sure I failed. Mind you, so is everyone else.”

“I have it on Monday so thanks for the heads up. Oh, hey Parker.”

“Hey guys. What’s on Monday?”

“Math test that ruined my entire class.”

“Damn.” I put my arm around Parker’s waist and leaned into him.

Monty was scanning the room. To Parker, he was just looking at the crowd. But I was familiar with that look. He was on the hunt. I pulled Parker away discreetly so we could be alone and he could seem available. Monty nodded and smirked at us. Fuck off you little shit. I stuck my tongue out at him and Parker rolled his eyes. We managed to find a quiet corner that was unoccupied. “So, your drink is Crown and Sprite. You hate math. You don’t like chemistry. You like extra lettuce on your cheeseburger. We’ve been friends for months and I never really noticed any of that.”

“You like vodka in your iced tea. But your drink is whisky and Coke. You hate history. You also don’t like chemistry. You get tomatoes on the side of your burgers. I think you knew all of that about me. It just didn’t matter before.”

“That makes sense.” I laid my head on his shoulder and we sat together like that for a while. We were still getting used to the change in our relationship.

I looked up from my lap and caught Monty’s eye across the room. He had a girl in his sights. I nodded to him. He smiled, thinking no one else would see. The smile he reserved for me. Before he went to talk to whatever girl he would have under his spell and realistically, him in less than twenty minutes, he came over to us. “I’m probably going to be busy for the rest of the night, so will you make sure she gets home okay?”

“Yeah. No problem.” Monty turned to me and gave me a pleading look.

“Dude. Again? Seriously?”

“I didn’t have time to stop on the way over.” He shrugged, acting innocent.

“One of these days I won’t be here. Or I’ll leave my wallet at home. Or I won’t be carrying. What are you going to do then?”

“That isn’t a right now problem. Now do you, or don’t you?”

“I do. Calm down.” I reached into my pocket and pulled out my wallet. Parker was watching our interaction with a puzzled look on his face. I pulled out the square silver packet and handed it to him. Monty accepted it gratefully.

“Thank you. You are a life saver.”

“Don’t do anything you’ll regret in the morning, Montgomery.”

“Never do, Juliette.”

“And don’t do anything I wouldn’t do.”

“I make no promises.” I sighed deeply. Of course, you don’t. Monty waved at us again and ran off to go make a move on whatever girl it was this time.

I looked at Parker and he was staring at me with wide eyes. “What?”

“You carry condoms around for him?”

“No. I carry them around for me. And if he needs one, then I give it to him.”

“But why?”

“I’m not sure if you’ve noticed, but he’s kind of a whore. He is my best friend, but the man is a whore. I’d rather give him a condom than take him to get tested or become a cool aunt. I’m too young for that.”

“What if you needed it?”

“Will I need it? Because I wasn’t exactly planning on needing it.”

“I don’t know. You never know.”

“Well, if that’s the case, I have a whole box at home anyway. I don’t plan on using any tonight though.”

“I wasn’t either.”

“If it makes you feel better, I can start carrying two. Also, I put a fresh one in my wallet every morning so it’s not like they’re sitting.” He only nodded in understanding. Monty was right. I didn’t see him for the rest of the night. He texted me later that he was crashing at Bryce’s.

A few weeks after that party, things with Monty and I were the same as they always were. Parker never brought up his conversation with Scott. I attributed it to seeing us around each other and Parker being comfortable with the status of our relationship. We were getting home from a coffee date. “My parents are working late if you want to come inside. My mom has a double at the hospital.”

“Sure.” He slipped his hand in my back pocket when I was unlocking the door. I blushed. Inside, I dropped my purse on the kitchen counter. He draped his coat over a chair and sat down. I was digging through the cabinets for a snack when he surprised me with a question.

“What’s going on with you and Monty?”

“Uh.” I paused because he caught me off guard. “What do you mean?”

“It’s just how you guys act with each other. I never noticed it before. Or I did and thought it would stop after we got together.”

“I don’t understand the question?”

“Do I need to be concerned about your relationship with him, Juliette?”

“No. Not at all. Monty is the last person you need to concern yourself with. It’s never been like that with us.”

“So, you just flirt with each other and finish each other’s sentences for no reason?”

“Okay, first of all, we do not flirt with each other. Second of all, we have been best friends since we were in elementary. Which means we know things about each other.” I was walking back to the table with a bowl of M&Ms. Placing it on the table, I sat in his lap gently. He wrapped his arms around me.

“You carry condoms around in your wallet and give him one whenever he wants.”

“I already told you why I carry them Parker.” I rested my head on his shoulder.

“You’re sure there’s never been anything between you guys?” Nothing reciprocated.

“I promise there has never anything between us. He really isn’t a concern that way Parker.” I kissed his neck softly. It was barely a brush of my lips against his skin.

“Do you still have that box?”

“Mhmmm.” He stood me up and grasped my hand.

“Lead the way Jules.”

The next day, I woke up alone. Parker had snuck out after a little bit of cuddling, so my parents didn’t find him here. I stared up at my ceiling for a few minutes. It was different with him. It means something. Maybe that’s what I needed to get Monty out of my system. Maybe it had to mean something. I groaned when my alarm went off again. Reluctantly, I got up and got ready to go to school. My dad had already left for work again. I texted Parker and Monty before I left. Stopping for coffee if you want anything.

Parker answered first. I’m good, thanks though babe.

Monty answered a few minutes later. Since you offered, my usual?

Gotcha. See you at school.

Coffees in hand, I pulled up to school. Parker was waiting for me just outside the parking lot. “Hey you.” He kissed me. We were walking to my locker when he saw the second coffee, he continued, “I said I didn’t want anything.”

“Oh. This isn’t for you. It’s for Monty.”

“Ah, yes.”

“We talked about this last night Park.”

“I know. That’s not all we did last night.” He muttered, leaning in to kiss my neck.

“Yeah. Last night was pretty great.” I smiled.

“What about last night?” Monty asked, scaring me a little.

“Jesus Monty. I need to buy you a bell or something. Why do you have to be the only guy at this school whose shoes don’t squeak?” I turned and stuck out his coffee.

“Parker’s don’t squeak.” I rolled my eyes. As though he could snese that I wanted to talk to Monty alone, he made a quick exit.

“I’ll catch you at lunch Jules.”

“Okay. Save some cheese for me.” Parker kissed me before walking away.

“So, what about last night?” Monty asked again after Parker left. I was quiet and blushed deeply. “Julie, what happened?”

“Homerun.”

“Shit. Seriously?”

“Yeah. It was good. Nice.”

“That… that’s great.” I didn’t notice the way his smile didn’t reach his eyes or that he stammered.

“I’ll see you at lunch?”

“Uh, yeah. I have a couple of things to do for Coach, but I should be able to make at least a little bit of lunch.”

“Okay.”

I fully expected my relationship with Parker to change after that night. But I never expected that night would cause my relationship with Montgomery change too. It seemed like the closer I got to Parker the more distant Monty became. At first, it was little things. He had stuff to do with the guys or for sports stuff at lunches. Or he had things to do after practice. He wouldn’t stop to talk as long in the halls with me. If his dad was on another tear, I would find out about it the next day at school instead of that night. He brushed it off when I asked him about it. “I don’t want to seem like more of a burden. I have other places I can crash too,” he had said. For some reason, I believed him. I didn’t think anything of it. It wasn’t the first time he had taken a break from always coming to my place. I didn’t think it would be the last time.

But then, as the days and weeks passed, our relationship became even more strained. He had stopped waiting for me after games. He had all but stopped talking to me at school. My texts were left on read for hours, whereas before, he would answer me within minutes. What had initially been dubbed a ‘break’ from seeking refuge at my house, had become a full out ending. One Monday, when I got to school his cheek was stitched closed. I stopped dead in my tracks and covered my mouth in shock. Upon closer inspection when I passed, it looked like it was stitched with sewing thread. Why didn’t he come to me? He knows my mom keeps a suture kit in the first aid kit. He all but looked through me when he caught me looking. If he saw me coming now, he walked in the other direction. For the first time, my best friend was literally all out ignoring me. I didn’t know what to do. So, I tried to do the same. If he wants to ignore me, then two can play at that game. We pretended the other person didn’t exist.

“Hey, are you okay?” Parker asked me when we were sitting on the couch watching tv.

“Yeah.” I was scrolling through my phone.

“You haven’t looked up from your phone for an entire episode.”

“Huh? Has it been that long?”

“Yes. What are you looking at?” I was scrolling through my texts with Montgomery. The last time we had texted each other was three weeks ago. Before then, the last time we went longer than two days not texting each other was when I was at summer camp and we weren’t allowed to have our phones for a week. I couldn’t figure out what I had done wrong or what made our relationship change. Parker took my phone from me and closed out of messages when he saw what I was looking at. “If he doesn’t want to talk to you because you have a boyfriend, that’s his problem.”

“That’s not why Parker.”

“How do you know?”

“He wouldn’t do that.” Would he?

“How do you know he wouldn’t, Jules?”

“We promised each other a long time ago that we wouldn’t be those people.”

“Those people?”

“The people who stopped talking when one of us got into a relationship. We promised.”

“Okay, well if you promised then I’m probably wrong.” He sounded skeptical.

“We promised.” I muttered. Parker pulled me closer and held me while I tried to focus on our show.

**

I was sitting cross legged on the couch playing I Almost Do on my guitar while I listened to the rain hitting the roof. The old Disney World sweatshirt I was wearing helped me to stay warm, even though the heat was on. As I finished the bridge, there was a knock at the door. I’m not expecting anyone. Maybe its Parker swinging by to keep me company. I set my guitar down on the coffee table and went to answer the door when there was another, more impatient knock. “I’m coming, keep your pants on.” I muttered under my breath. Yanking open the door I felt my jaw hit the floor. “Monty.” I breathed. He was soaked. His hair fell on his forehead and I could tell the flannel he wore was soaked through.

“Hey.” Was all he said. I blinked at him slowly. “Can I come in?”

“Uh, yeah. Yeah come in.” I said, moving out of the way while I tried to figure out what he was doing here. “Did you like… walk here or something?”

“Would you believe me if I said no?”

“No. Trust you not to wear a jacket in the pouring rain though.” He didn’t respond. He just looked around the living room. Okay. This isn’t weird and awkward at all. “What are you doing here Montgomery?”

“I thought about what I wanted to say to you the whole way here. And now that I’m here….”

“What are you talking about?”

“I have some stuff I need to say to you Julie.”

“Oh okay. Now you want to talk to me. Right.” I crossed my arms.

“Can you just let me say what I need to say?”

“Why? I mean, you’ve been avoiding me like the fucking plague for weeks Montgomery. Why should I listen to what you have to say?”

“Because it’s important Juliette.”

“Fine. Speak.” This better be good.

“I don’t know how to say this. I literally had this all planned out in my head on the way here.” He began. I remained silent. “I get that you’re mad at me for avoiding you, but I have reasons for it. And I need you to understand that it hasn’t been easy for me. You’re one of my closest friends.” I let out a dry, unamused laugh. Sure. You just avoid all of your friends. Totally normal behaviour for you. Monty sighed before continuing, “I couldn’t sit around and watch you with Parker. I tried. Believe me. I fucking tried. I tried being happy for you and I tried being friends with him. I tried to ignore everything in me that was screaming to just walk away. But I couldn’t do it anymore. I needed to walk away for both of our sakes. It wasn’t fair to you for me to be half out of our friendship and it wasn’t fair to me to have to keep everything in. It wasn’t healthy.”

“So, you couldn’t be friends with me, or say anything about why you were suddenly shutting me out, because I have a boyfriend? That’s the stupidest thing I’ve ever heard you say. And we promised we wouldn’t be those people.”

“Oh, for fucks-. No Juliette. I couldn’t be friends with you because I’ve been in love with you for four years.”

My eyes widened at his revelation and I felt the colour drain from my face. What? I couldn’t think of anything else to do except laugh. “Yeah, sure you are Monty. That’s rich.”

“You think I would joke about that? You know me Julie.”

“No. I think if you did love me, you would have had the balls to fucking say something about it before I got into a relationship. Or at the very least, to not act like a fuckin’ child when I did get into a relationship.”

“When exactly would I have told you? Somewhere between when you were worrying about your friends and when you were pining after Parker?”

“Yes. Parker and I were friends with each other for months before we started dating. At any of those times, you could have put on your big boy pants and fucking said something about how you felt.”

“That’s nice that you think that. Do you think I would walk halfway across town in the pouring rain for someone I wasn’t in love with? Seriously Juliette?”

“Maybe.” I replied. I was still angry with him, but he did have a point. “It doesn’t matter. You waited too long. I’m with Parker now.” He scoffed. I hadn’t realized how close he had gotten to me until now.

“Doesn’t matter? Look me in the eye and tell me you don’t feel it. Tell me you don’t feel the fluttering or the warmth when we are together. And then tell me that what you feel with Parker is anything close to that.”

“I-I-I….” I started, trying to meet his hardened gaze.

“You can’t can you?” My silence spoke volumes. “Tell me you don’t want this.” He whispered, as he caressed my cheek. I couldn’t tell him that. And I couldn’t pull away. I couldn’t do anything to stop him. For the first time, I had allowed myself to consider the feelings I had buried down deep for so long. I opened the box in my heart labeled danger, and damn it felt good. I reached up and tapped his arm quickly, twice. Our silent ‘okay’ signal when we couldn’t speak. He immediately kissed me hungrily and backed me against the nearest wall. My hands immediately went to his belt and began to tug at it, in a heated attempt to undo it. He nipped at my lip sharply and I growled lowly from the back of my throat. Giving up on the fickle strip of leather, I began to fight with his still wet shirt. The flannel stuck to the cotton of his t-shirt more and more with every tug. Abandoning the idea of removing them separately, I grabbed the bottom of his shirts together and pulled up harshly. All the while, his lips never left mine. The only time they did was to give me the space to pull off his tops. His eyes had darkened at least two shades as he stood in front of me. I felt my pupils dilate again as I reached out for him. He was on me in seconds. The feeling of him tugging at my sweater, now sightly damp from his clothes, as though I was a prize he couldn’t wait to tear into, stirred something inside of me. The primal aggressiveness and the slow burning, ever present tension of the situation making any consequences of our actions, seem totally irrelevant. He managed to remove my shirt with far fewer struggles than I did and began attacking my neck, leaving wet kisses and stinging nips down one side and then the other. Once again, I tried my hand at undoing his belt again. This time, I was able to. Quickly undoing it, I pulled it through the loops of his dark jeans and went for the button. He placed his hand on mine to stop me. I looked at him questioningly.

“What?” I asked, breathlessly.

“Maybe we shouldn’t do this in your living room.” He said, panting. I nodded in agreement and suddenly, he picked me up and threw me over his shoulder.

“Monty!” I exclaimed, taken by surprise. He merely tightened his grip on my waist as he walked through the house to my room in the basement.

In my dark room, only illuminated by the dim pink-red glow of the salt lamp on my nightstand, he strode towards my bed and dropped me on my back. I reached out to him as he took a step back from the bed. “Get back here.” I demanded. He chuckled and shook his head.

“No. Nuh uh. I’ve waited far too long for this moment.” He smirked, devilishly. I groaned in displeasure at him. His smirk widened.

Deciding it was time to take matters into my own hands again, I sat up and slid off my bed. Taking my place on my knees in front of him, I reached up and undid the button and zipper on his jeans. He made no move to stop me as I dropped to my knees and pulled the denim harshly. They fell in a pool at his feet and I sat back on my heels as I stared at the bulge in his boxers. I growled lowly in the back of my throat and reached for the waistband of his boxers. Pulling them down, I watched his cock spring free and whined unconsciously. My movements were suddenly timid as I reached for it. It wasn’t my first time by any means. But it felt different this time. This time it was with Monty. And you have a boyfriend who isn’t Monty. Oh, shut up and let me enjoy this. I’ll deal with the consequences later. Grasping his thick, heavy cock in my hand, I stroked it softly. This was so wrong, yet it felt so wonderfully right.

My strokes changed as I gained more confidence and was able to push away any intrusive thoughts about Parker. They were faster and I tightened my grip slightly. Montgomery let out a sharp breath when my ring fingernail caught a bit of skin. “Sorry.”

“It’s okay, you’re excited. Just remember we have all night Julie.”

“I know.” His hips started to buck a little bit and my mouth began to water.

“We have plenty of time for that later.” I groaned a little. “Look at me.” I looked up at him through my lashes. “I promise you can after I fuck you into your mattress.” My eyes widened as big as saucers. We went from five to a hundred real quick. Fucking hot though.

Monty took my bicep in his hand to pull me up before pushing me back down on the bed roughly. I gasped in shock. I sat up on my elbows and watched him unbutton and rip open the zipper on my jeans. He pulled them down with a little help from me. He took a very brief second to admire my mint underwear before pulling them off and chucking them across my room. I sat up to undo and remove my pink bralette. A low growl came from deep in his chest when my breasts were out in the open and I was naked. His eyes scanned my body hungrily. My own dark eyes admired his naked body. I grabbed his arm to pull him down towards me.

“There is so much I want to do to you, but it will have to wait until later.” He whispered in my ear, biting at my earlobe. He bit and sucked his way down my neck, easily pulling loud moans out of me. There were sure to be marks all over my neck in the morning. Consequences be damned.

“Later, yes.” I panted. I could feel his hard length against my thigh. I rutted my hips against his. He kissed me passionately. When his hand trailed down my body, I knew his intentions. “No time. Just do it. Need it.” He stilled. The passion and tension were still in the air but there was a slight shift.

“Are you sure? I don’t want to hurt you.”

“Yes. Just be quick about it and it’ll be fine.” I stuck out my pinky. He linked his with mine.

“If you need me to stop and adjust, just say so.”

“I will.” I nodded, trying to edge him along. Just hurry the hell up and do it.

Monty straightened up and pulled my hips closer to the edge of the bed. I shut my eyes as he lined his cock up with my entrance. No matter how ready I was and how much I wanted it, it was still a reflex. I barely felt the tip, but I knew more was coming. He held my hands in his, interlocking our fingers as he pushed further. The stretch stung a little. He was bigger than Parker and without taking the time to prepare me, it burned slightly. I whimpered softly and he stilled immediately. Only about half was inside of me. “No, no keep going. Please.” I begged.

“I don’t want to hurt you Juliette.”

“Montgomery. I need you to do it. It hurts more if you stop. Please just do it. You can give me time to adjust after.” I told him seriously, staring into his eyes.

“Okay. Deep breath.” I sucked in a big breath and let it out as he quickly thrust the rest of his cock into me. I yelped sharply and he stilled again. I felt him go to pull out and growled harshly at him.

“Don’t you dare. Just give me a second.” He nodded and stayed still, allowing me time to adjust to his size.

After a minute or so, I was ready. The pain had dissipated for the most part. I felt like we could keep going. “Okay.” I nodded. His thrusts were slow and shallow at first. The more he did it, the more comfortable it became. When my moans grew louder, his thrusting became faster. He was fucking me hard and fast. Quite literally fucking me into the mattress. I tried to match him thrust for thrust. It was sloppy at first, but soon enough, we had a good rhythm going. He leaned down more, and I wrapped my legs around his waist. His cock was buried deeper in me and I screamed. He was moaning and grunting softly in my ear. I let go of his hands and wrapped my arms around his back. Dragging my nails down, I scratched him from his shoulder blades all the way down to his mid to low back.

“Jesus Christ.” He spat out. I smirked and dug my nails into his back. He nipped my collar bone. I was panting and I could feel my core tightening. “Fuck. You are so fucking tight.” Monty stood straight again and hooked one of my legs over his shoulder. The changed angle felt like magic. My moans had become whimpers again. I bit my bottom lip to keep from screaming once again. He used his right hand to rub my clit harshly while his left steadied the leg on his shoulder. I couldn’t hold a scream in after that. His thrusts were starting to get sloppy just as I had begun to fall over the edge. My orgasm hit me like a freight train. My entire body shook. I groaned when I felt his own orgasm hit. The feeling of his cock pulsing inside of me was exquisite. Thank God for birth control and regular testing. Monty pulled out of me gently and half fell, half laid down onto my bed beside me. He was panting harshly. So was I.

“Fuck me.” I muttered.

“I just did.” He panted. I groaned, unable to find the energy to flip him off or move or make an actual noise in response. After a couple of minutes, he stood and put his boxers back on. I hadn’t moved. He walked to the bathroom across the hall, and I heard the water running. Back in my room, he gently wiped me clean with a warm washcloth. It felt very nice on my sensitive folds. I groaned again. Once I was wiped clean, he climbed on the bed again and pulled me close. I snuggled against his chest.

I woke up in Montgomery’s strong arms the next morning. Rubbing the sleep from my eyes, I groaned softly. Monty stirred behind me. I leaned into him. He sighed. “Half of me thought last night was a really hot dream.” He mumbled sleepily.

“It wasn’t.” I yawned. We rolled onto our backs and I stared at the ceiling. We were quiet for a time. I was processing what happened last night. I cheated on Parker. With the one person…. The one person what? I told him not to worry about? I mean, yeah. But if that was the reason, I would have regretted it as soon as we were done. Oh shit. What does this mean for our friendship?

“Do you regret it?” I paused before answering. I knew the answer already but what would it say about me if I answered him immediately?

“No. Do you?”

“Not a bit.”

“What does this mean? What are we supposed to do now?”

“I don’t know. I can’t tell you what to do. But if I were you, I would break up with Parker.”

“That would be the kind thing to do.”

“Yes.”

“Did… did you mean what you said last night?”

“About you?”

“Yeah.”

“Isn’t it kind of obvious?” He motioned between the two of us. I laughed.

“I just wanted to confirm.” Monty chuckled and turned to kiss my temple.

“Does this mean,” I paused again, “was this just to get it out of our systems? Or do you want more?”

“I want more if you want more. I’d also be down for another round.” I sat up a little and pulled the sheet around my chest to look at him. He was smirking wider than I had seen him smirk in a long time.

“I think I would like more. And as for another round, I think I need to talk to Parker first before this goes any further.” He considered that for a moment.

“That’s fair. I can respect that.” We were quiet again. He’s all you’ve ever really wanted anyway.

[dancingazaleas]

bertholdt hoover | mc donald’s

HELPLPPPP i love he 🥺 i love he so much

sorry if this was trash :-(( i was rlly sleepy when i wrote this. pls enjoy

warnings/notes: cursing, modern au, highschool au, bertholdt, reiner, marcel, and reader are seniors, porco is a junior, reader is marcel’s twin, bert is ambidextrous (my headcanon), hard pining, bert’s a music prodigy, female reader

when you meet him, it was at your house on a friday night.

porco and marcel had decided to have their obnoxious and messy friend group over at the house while your parents were away for the weekend doing god knows what.

you were just annoyed that your mom said their friends could come over.

it wasn’t that they were inheritaly bad people, it was just that they were overly loud and, somehow, always forgot to pick up their shit before they left. you’d always get your ass chewed out by your mom for it too.

you also hated going downstairs whenever they were there. if marcel or porco caught even a glimpse of you, they would pester you to play a round of super smash bros and wii sports with them and the group. whenever the two of them started to pester, usually reiner would join in until you would cave. reiner was annoying when it game to game nights.

so, you sat upstairs in your room trying to go to sleep and drown out their laughter and yelling, but you couldn’t. they were too fucking loud.

you texted both porco and marcel angrily, telling them ‘shut your fucking mouths i cant fucking sleep’. you concluded that they were too distracted to notice your texts when they continued to yell and laugh. you scoffed and decided that you’d just try to scroll through social media and rant to ymir over text.

30 minutes had passed and the group downstairs showed no signs of quieting down and you were starting to get hungry. so with a sigh, you made your way downstairs towards your kitchen with the intention of finding pizza flavored goldfish in mind.

you were glad you weren’t noticed when you passed by the living room, that meant no pizza flavored goldfish. you opened the door to the pantry only to find cereal, protein powder and bars, porco and marcel’s chips, and the food your mom and dad ate.

this meant they had used your food for this get together. you groaned loudly and slammed the door to the pantry shut. the echo of it immediately silenced the large group in the living room, which held your next homicide victims.

you stomped into the room, irritation written all over your face as you looked at your brothers, who were hugging each other in fear.

“first, you ignore my texts asking you to shut your big fucking mouths. then, you decided death when you chose to serve your friends my food.” the two teenage boys nodded wearily.

with a battle scream, you jumped over the coffee table and on top of them on the leather couch, fists swinging. they shrieked in fear, scrambling under your weight to get away as everyone else in the room laughed at the scene.

you sat on porco’s back, the main offender, and held his head up by digging your thumbs into the bones of his eyebrows.

“porco, if you want me off of your’s and marcel’s ass in the next week; you better drive me to fucking mc donald’s, get me food, and pay for it!!! deal?!” you shouted at him, kicking away the hand that was reaching around to shove you away.

he slammed him palm onto the couch two times, “okay, okay!!! deal!! now get your ass off of me!!!”

you let go of his face and got off of him, but not without giving him a hard slap to the side of the head.

reiner hooted and clapped his large hands together, “another wrestling victory for (name)!!!”

everyone laughed a little, and you did a little bow before plopping down next to pieck, a college student you met in junior year while she was a senior who you were actually quite close with.

“how do you always manage to get your ass kicked by (name) everytime we come here,” zeke, another friend you’d met in junior year while he was in his senior year, snickered at the misery of porco.

“ha ha,” porco gave a monotone laugh, “leave me alone old man.”

“porco, where’s my mc donalds,” you sang and watched marcel roll his eyes a little.

“(name), it’s 11 o’clock at night. i’m not going to get you fucking mc donalds,” porco snapped but cowered away when you made the slight movement of getting up onto your feet.

“bertholdt’ll drive ‘em!” reiner piped up and everyone turned to said bert.

you felt yourself getting flustered when you took a look at bertholdt. he was tall and lean guy cowering in the corner of your couch with dark red cheeks as he stared back at you. his hair was a dark brown and he had the prettiest light jade colored eyes with a hooked nose right between them.

“oh...,” you were stunned, which was a uncommon occurrence, and felt like it was just you and him, “yeah... i’m down. i don’t think we’ve met before.”

bertholdt gave a shy nod and stood up for the couch, and you noticed just how tall he was. before you could make a step towards him however, porco jumped to his feet and got between you.

“nope! changed my mind! get in the tr—,” you shoved him back onto the couch next to marcel, who had a small and gentle smile.

“bert’s gonna get some,” pieck teased with a giggle as she poked at your sides from her seat.

you laughed bashfully and slapped her hands away, telling bertholdt that you were ready to leave when he was. pieck seized her attacks when you followed after bertholdt when he made his way to your front door.

“don’t forget to use protection,” annie shouted nonchalantly, the whole room bursting into laughter.

after that, both you and bertholdt hurried to get out of the house and into his car.

which led you to now, sitting in the parking lot of the sketchy and dingy mc donald’s eating and talking.

“wait, so when reiner...,” you chew while laughing, “told you marcel had a twin, you thought it was a prank?”

bertholdt chuckles shyly and nods, “yeah. i just.. i never saw you around cause no one pointed you out when we were at school. reiner would do stuff like that ever since we were kids.”

you shake your head with a smile, “so, why’d you decide to transfer to titan high just a couple weeks ago?”

bertholdt thinks for a second, “better music program. reiner mentioned something about it to me once, so then i did my own research. titan has multiple opportunities for their students to get a chance at getting scholarships to prestigious universities for fine arts by competing. also, all my friends are here.”

your heart swells as the way bertholdt eyes shine as he speaks of the music program, so much that you forget to answer for a second.

“oh! so, what instrument do you play?”

“uhm... i play the cello, violin, viola, double bass,” he pauses, “i’m learning the harp, piano, lyre, and the guitar.”

you gape at him, “so you’re a prodigy?!”

he blushes and gives a small shrug, “i’ve never really considered myself as such... but i guess by definition i am.”

“th-then why the hell are you going to titan high?!”

“i still wanted to be a normal kid. my dad put me in public schools with decent music programs so i could still play. my favorites are the piano and the cello.”

“hold out your hand for a second,” you request, to which he obliges.

you take it into your own hand, eyes scanning over the palm of his massive hand. his fingers are worn and he has a writer’s bump on his middle finger despite it being his left hand. he has a bandaid on his pinky finger and the tips of his fingers are a flushed red as well as his knuckles. his nails are perfectly even and trimmed and you notice a scar on his thenar stretching to his radial longtitude crease. you run the tip of your finger over the scar, ignoring how bertholdt flinches at the contact.

bertholdt’s blushing and he feels like he’s going to pass out on the spot. the only other girls he’s been this close to were pieck, annie and his friend ymir, who all have girlfriends.

but then bertholdt feels the soft skin of your lips gently kissing at the scar on his hand with your eyes closed. his heart races and it feels like it’s beating out of his chest.

bert’s pretty sure he can see black dots in his vision.

you look him in the eyes now, “i know we haven’t known each other for that long, but you’re really beautiful, bert.”

bertholdt flushed cheeks turn pale as he faints.

[blackandblue13]

as i reread/post-new-chapters-of smsias, i’m going to add silly, little trivia facts to this post below the cut so uhhh here (also spoilers if you haven't read the fic. any content warnings are listed on the ch pages on ao3):

1. ordinary (train; spider-man 2)

lol @ myself for setting this in chicago (i’ve been to CA once, and the closest i got to LA was universal studios, so i don’t think i could accurately write spider-man stuff with LA geography. and i live in chicago. so). at least i’m not the only person who uprooted jatp from LA/LF/CA, though. i’ve read some royalty AUs, a fic set in florida, some where carrie/flynn/julie or alex/bobby/luke/reggie live in new york, so at least i’m not the Only person taking jatp somewhere else for non-tour purposes.

my high school chemistry teacher from sophomore year? mrs. boyle. she had the same notecard system of death that professor boyle does (and she’s teaching alex/reggie chemistry in their sophomore year of college lol). i hated her so much. fuck you, kara. i liked my physics teacher (ms. senser, junior year), though! but i felt weird naming a fictional chemistry professor after a real-life physics teacher. sorry, marybeth 😭.

lol bobby texted reggie to ask if he needed a ride home from class. i forgot about that specific message while writing ch10, because i had bobby insist that he would drive reggie home from class during the ch10 origin story flashback.

lmao reggie asking the gals to lie and tell bobby he’s not at the studio and pleading “just this once” (spoiler alert, reggie would lie to bobby more than just that one time).

the test tube! lol i don’t remember if i reread ch1 before writing ch10 but i’m really glad reggie accidentally getting cut by the test tube remained consistent. wait actually i probably did because i specifically remember the hair comment. still. silly.

lyft! i prefer lyft to uber. also i think weird stuff was happening with uber during jan-apr 2021 irl, so i was like “let’s have reg take a lyft.”

it is so silly to me how carrie/flynn/julie are so quick to catch onto reggie’s superhero dreams. they probably have superhero dreams of their own. i just think it would be so cool to be a guy-in-the-chair (as much as i would also enjoy being in the action, too. but also i am weak with injuries, so guy-in-the-chair may be a better job for me anyway).

“thank you, tobey maguire” — i really prefer the version of spider-man where the spider bite gave him the power to shoot his own webs (the tech of andrew and tom’s was still p cool). i didn’t think about the logistical aspect of spidey having to adapt his diet though, so i don’t think that is brought up until after reggie’s partners find out about his spidey-life.

i have no idea how or what bobby could have possibly cried at during all three hsm movies but he did!!! hsmtmts cause of crying was likely 01x04 when ricky is in his sad boy hours because i cried at that and i project onto bobby a lot.

carrie and bobby live in lake point tower but i don’t think i ever established a place of residence for trevor? oops lol.

i love that i threw in these details of bobby having tattoos and a motorcycle, and bringing reggie flowers, and then completely forgetting about it for the longest time. there is a single comment about bobby chasing after reggie on his bike, and also the ot4 tattoo scene in ch9, and bobby having forgotten that he used to bring reggie flowers and hadn’t brought flowers for luke or alex, too, until ch6. so at least they make a comeback?

oh okay so maybe i tried to write a version of luke’s “four” that will never see the light of day because i only got as far as the melody for the chorus.

it’s so weird to read earlier chapters of this fic because of the gendered words and only he/him pronouns for bobby. i think i started projecting genderlessness onto them in july when i stopped using she/her pronouns? so i’ve had to change a lot of original draft stuff because i wrote some stuff (that was recently posted/the next couple of chapters to be posted) before deciding to write bobby as nonbinary. so. y’all can blame my personal gender crisis for bobby’s in-fic-gender-crisis.

it is so silly to me how this entire first chapter is just like. brief portion of present day. giant chunk of a flashback. little bit of present day, longer than before. another flashback, but much shorter. okay back to present day again lol.

dang. remember how reggie is hesitant to say “i love you” to bobby during the may 2020 flashbacks? and then when we get to present day of september, he says it so easily to alex? wish we got to see that buildup (yes i know i’m the author shush).

(august 2020 flashback) reggie thinking things are weird between him and bobby because he kissed bobby’s cheek… that is just so silly to me because bobby spent this chapter’s may 2020 flashback, as well as ch10’s may 2020 section, being very physically affectionate with reggie. including kisses to hand/knuckle and top of head. and also him admitting that the entire ot4 is affectionate that way, as in they all kinda kiss each other all the time even though they’re not romantically together (except alex/luke but we don’t know that yet lol). silly goose. silly reg.

i think the whole issue of reggie hesitating to say “i love you” to bobby but having an easier time with alex is because bobby and reggie had a conversation where they explicitly confessed their romantic feelings for each other. alex, on the other hand? reggie has romantic feelings for him, but alex doesn’t know that, nor does reggie have any idea if alex feels similarly about him (and this is the same situation with luke). so, saying “i love you” to bobby feels like a confession he isn’t ready for, somehow an accidental sign that he wants to begin their romantic relationship earlier than he wants to.

ahh yes i love the vicious push-up competition of asexual solidarity 😤😤😤

2. you’re that spider-guy — hans zimmer; the amazing spider-man 2)

my short chapter! the baby of the fic! it’s like 2.5k words i think? all my writing is basically “me yelling for eight hours in order to properly explain the universe because i have adhd and i need y’all to see exactly what i’m seeing except sometimes i forget to describe things oops”

anyway. i love the mini-arc of reg-meeting-his-partners-as-spidey. it seems like the scariest thing in the world because he’s never been face-to-face with the magician so that dude’s obviously not going to become relevant (/s), and he’s trying so hard to keep his secret from his partners, and then he has to save all three of them? (alex from a car, luke, bobby from his own internal spiraling) so silly.

i love making insta posts for the gang. i love them. sometimes the chapters are already too long or the mood is way too serious, and an insta post doesn’t fit the vibe, but when they are in a ch, they make me smile :)

3. (i wish i could be) honest — “honest” by the neighbourhood; the amazing spider-man 2

first time linking the playlist yay!!

also the first time more than one member of the ot4 (aka more than just reg lol) is Going Through It

“should reggie be more worried about luke’s opinion of spider-man?” haha, Yes!

carrie’s papaya conditioner that reggie used? garnier fructis 3-options-in-1 rinse-out conditioner, leave-in conditioner, and hair mask. would recommend. it makes my hair feel soft.

someone pls yell at me to fix the italics formatting of the alex/reggie phone call toward the end. i tried to do it on my phone twice, but then safari was like “network connectivity lost go fuck off i hate you” so i have to wait a few days until i have my laptop again.

i’ve tried the cold brew and lemon bar ice creams from jeni’s, the mango milk cloud, strawberry milk cloud, and brown sugar boba from hello jasmine, and all five cupcake flavors (creme brulee, tiramisu, cookies and cream, s'mores, peanut butter nutella) from molly’s — absolutely amazing. would recommend.

4. (nobody knows the danger we’re in) on this sunny day — “picture this” by the cast of spider-man: turn off the dark

i wonder why reggie and spider-man text the same way,,, /s

i love the alex/reggie scene before they go into the courthouse. this ch was entirely written without it, like originally, it would’ve gone from alex/reg’s text convo straight into the insta post of them with the ring pops, which would have made this seem like a wildly impulsive decision. but then at the last minute i was like “well reggie’s parents suck; is he really going to be able to get married on a whim without overthinking it?” and the answer was no because mans has spent the last three chapters overthinking, and he will spend the rest of the fic overthinking. so. hooray for last-minute realizations of plot consistencies.

y’all have my sister to blame for any marriage stuff that happens in my fics. i was writing the beginning chapters around the time she got unofficially engaged in march, and she and her mans had been talking about wedding/engagement stuff for, like, the six months before.

5. undercover — pete yorn; spider-man

shoutout to jo for helping me figure out the costumes. i wrote the entire ch for realizing “the reader should know what everyone else besides reg is wearing, right?” and i: could not decide on a costume for anyone aside from 1, not wanting iron man (because i hate iron man and rdj, and i wanted to avoid iron man And spider-man both appearing in the ot4), 2, not wanting there to be both loki And thor within the ot4, 3, not wanting a marvel-romance-crossover between the ot3 and ot4. the closest we get to that is captain america/black widow because of that fake dating distraction kiss in “the winter soldier” but i think it’s nice and silly that alex and carrie are in those costumes. it’s a fun mlm/wlw solidarity if you think about it too hard (but also in general because alex/carrie are besties who dance and do yoga together and i love them).

bobby’s halloween costume being loki is unintentionally gender foreshadowing. because loki is genderfluid and sometimes gender envy (and i’m 90% jo suggested loki for bobby because loki and taylor kare give them gender envy. which is. 100% understandable. i too get gender envy from taylor kare). (okay maybe bobby’s gender arc is because of my own gender crisis AND jo’s suggestions. thank you, jo.)

fun fact: i had absolutely no idea how the hielo/fuego/spidey interaction was going to end, so i was like "let's just throw him off the roof" lol and then i accidentally broke the spidey suit oops

6. you can laugh, you can feel fine — “learn to crawl” by black lab; spider-man

spidey-skirt! we love the spidey-skirt :)

i uhh Did Not Plan for the spidey suit to be out of commission, so this ch Did Not Exist in the original draft. hehe.

bobby's discomfort with being shirtless = weird gender feelings and general discomfort with existing.

wilson worldwide banjo/guitar creation is fully based on me thinking about how much i love my banjolele

someone Please tell me they caught onto the color scheme of bobby's bouquet. yellow, white, purple, black? it's the nonbinary flag?? i'm foreshadowing their coming out???

i named mark after a guy i don't like irl lol

oh yeah nick exists in this fic verse. idk if he does anything aside from "dorm with willie." nick is at columbia too (i had to confirm this with my actual fic notes, bc i pictured willie and nick living at the UC dorm building, which houses students from columbia, roosevelt, saic, and i think uic law?). which is very irrelevant in the grand scheme of this fic bc i don't touch upon the college aspect of their lives very often (but also the main focus is spidey-reg, not jatp-gang-in-college)

yaaaaaaay the ot4 is picking fights /s

when luke says that they should all stop keeping secrets from each other and bobby is the first to jump in and be like "wait here's an exception" = him not ready to come out as enby, and not wanting to feel like he's "hiding" part of his identities from the partners

"yeah, i totally fuck with privacy" what a good line. good job, me.

projecting onto characters is fun! like bobby, i get migraines that are sometimes eased by ice packs. and i hate loading the dishwasher.

also bobby probably had a migraine for normal life stress reasons, but they probably would have secluded themself to the second bedroom anyway because of weird gender feelings persisting all day.

OH lol so i don't remember if i fell asleep in the middle of writing the last scene of the chapter OR if i had just woken up, but either way, i had just had a really realistic dream where i saw my bed or my room or something, but something felt very Off, and i couldn't place what it was, and then i woke up out of nowhere. and then i wrote it into the fic so bobby would have that dream, too.

7. this photograph is proof (i know you know) — taking back sunday; spider-man

this ch is like 16k words which meant it ended up being an hour and 46 minutes when i recorded the podfic (which i split into three parts bc my laptop did some weird thing at the end of the original first part, so then i was like "okay i guess i'll split it into two parts" and then i had to re-record the first part, and it was more balanced to do three parts, whatever. fun and silly tech problem).

in the original draft, during the bobby/spidey rooftop scene, bobby told spidey that one of his friends wasn't a big fan of spidey bc he [friend, luke] thinks spidey has a better ass than him. luke was referred to as a friend in the original draft bc the main ship of the fic was bobby/reggie (not ot4, unfortunately), and then in the second draft, the line stayed but the ot4 wasn't public with their relationship. in the actual, published version, the ot4 is together and public, and the ass jealousy (lol) line becomes throwaway dialogue in the november section of ch5 (after team spidey gets coffee and returns to the ot4's condo). i also had no idea how i would have ended this scene with either of the original drafts, so y'all can thank my personal gender crisis, as well as bobby's crisis, for giving me a great opportunity for something that bobby/spidey could talk about that isn't them yelling at spidey for flirting with his partners.

haha "spider-dick"

i love molly's cupcakes. new flavor mentioned: boston creme for lex. i actually don't remember if this is a real flavor or if i just made it up for fic purposes or if i was thinking about donuts (and if i WAS thinking about donuts, then this becomes a fun reference to cmbcyb, in which reg's fave donut flavor is boston creme)

sharkboy and lavagirl! cinematic masterpiece

as y'all can tell, my main headcanons for bobby are: genderless, sleep-deprived/insomniac, loves coffee, uncultured (in a funny way, like with pop culture), migraines, grumpy one who is soft for the sunshine one(s), fall out boy :)

"non-bob-ary" :)

oh lmao i had no idea how to properly transition into the gala bc i didn't want another scene with reporters/paparazzi type (like in ch4 i think?) and with my sister getting married this year and constantly in wedding-planning-mode, i think she mentioned stuff about where she and her mans want to honeymoon after the wedding, so i was reminded that honeymoons are a thing, and then i was like "lol these silly geese impulsively got married and never discussed honeymoon"

alex spits out the jalapeño popper bc he can't handle spice /hj

i know i trashed the vegetarian alternative foods but some meatless "meatballs" and vegan hot dogs are really good. but sometimes they're really weird and sad.

y'all don't understand how many times i had to count to 9 to ensure that i included the ot4, the ot3, ray, and trevor, and then make sure that i didn't accidentally count to 5 when i was thinking about the ot4

again with the original draft and main ship being bobby/reggie -- that meant just the two of them would have gone on a date to the ww gala that night, and i'm p sure luke and alex wouldn't have attended at all. there was also some weird side plot about bobby/reggie and carrie/flynn/julie not being Out, so there was some fake-date nonsense of bobby/flynn and carrie/reggie hanging out together so reporters wouldn't suspect gay nonsense. i had absolutely no idea where i would've gone with that. i think i wrote a little tiny bit of this idea out, and then i moved it to my "spare parts" google doc (of fic ideas i've abandoned lol) bc there was no way to incorporate that into the actual, final draft of the fic.

i knew i wanted "this photograph is proof (i know you know)" to be the ch title very early on in the writing process bc i wanted 1, the bobby/spidey rooftop run-in with the picture taking (shoutout to taylor kare for being a photographer) and 2, the reveal of the conspiracy board. also! bobby was not supposed to have seen the board; that was only going to be team spidey, but then i couldn't figure out a good/nice way to get rid of them so reg could go upstairs alone, and then i was like "wouldn't it be silly, and unintentionally add an extra layer of angst, if one of reg's partners found out about the spidey-stuff before the other two? haha!"

lol hey magic man

there's no j jonah jameson equivalent in this spidey-verse but luke calling spidey a menace in front of all the gala guests and first responders is the closest we get

"reggie loves finding cool rocks" yeah he sure does!!!

hehe brooch

the coffee metaphor is so silly like why is that what's running through reg's head when he's in the middle of a crisis lol whatevs

every time i was like "okay this chapter is over" when i was writing it, i kept finding more stuff to add, so then it just Kept Going which is super silly, and that's how it ended up being 16k! bc i never shut up!!

OH this ch almost ended up being Even Longer bc i had this idea for alex/bobby to have a nice lil convo (while luke was in the bathroom and reg was changing in the closet) talking about this video alex had watched by a polyam blogger (polyphiliablog, bc i love their tiktoks) about how it can be better for polycules to ask someone outside of the relationship to mediate arguments (bc they're not directly involved or dating anyone, so they can offer a less biased opinion) and it was going to be a nice little infodump section, but then i had no idea how to transition in or out of it, and i also wanted to let the ot4 Sleep so i was like "alright i gotta scrap this idea, they've had a long night. if alex isn't actively offering to mediate the bob/reg argument when he overhears it bc he's tired and also staying by luke's side while luke throws up, there's no way he's going to have the energy to infodump, and bobby likely won't have the energy to process the infodumping and properly appreciate alex's research"

8. your heart knows when you’re hiding — “boy falls from the sky” by the cast of spider-man: turn off the dark

i knew from the beginning that i wanted “boy falls from the sky” to be the ch title for whenever spider-man and the magician had their showdown at navy pier. it wasn’t until i had been obsessively listening to my smsias playlist that i heard the lyric “your heart knows when you’re hiding” and delved into the idea of reggie’s conflict between hiding/revealing himself, and in ch1 when reggie is thinking about his feelings for bobby, he also admits “there and luke-and-alex-shaped pieces of his heart,” and the comparison of all three of his partners being what makes up his heart, and the ot4 knowing each other so well, therefore All Of That^^ equating to the line “[reggie’s] heart (his partners) knows when you’re hiding”

i also intended for the literal “boy falls from the sky” moment (of the magician attacking reggie, then reggie passing out as he drops to the earth) to be more dramatic, like an “oh shit, this has never happened before” but then i threw in that thing in ch5 when hielo and fuego throw reg off the roof. but oh well.

ahaha luke getting mad at reg for the reveal was one of the few things i wrote in the original draft that stayed pretty intact through revisions

the chapter was originally going to end with the lines “And then he’s falling — Reggie has never been more alone in his entire life. alone, alone, alone. None of this would’ve happened if he wasn’t so selfish, didn’t think with his heart instead of his head, didn’t knowingly endanger his family with every passing second — and then the world goes dark.” as one paragraph, but then i got the silly idea of “lol what if his life flashed before his eyes because apparently that’s what happen when people die,” so that’s where THAT came from. and i figured, with the way i could split up aforementioned line, the best course of action would be three scenes (yay rule of threes!), and the most painful types of scenes would be any where it’s emphasized that he is so incredibly loved by his found family. plus i never showed an ot4 date, despite writing their getting-together scene, and i didn’t think of the team spidey letter scene until after the chapter in which it would have fit best. and there’s minimal ray content, and the only carlos moment before this one is a single insta comment.

also! the team spidey moment is very important to me, because as often as reggie is internally like “i should have been doing this alone the whole time, i shouldn’t have gotten more people involved,” i wanted there to be the consistent, counter-argumentative theme of “no, reggie, it’s okay to ask for help and to rely on other people. you work better with a team by your side, and you are happier when you’re with your loved ones than when you’re alone.” and also the lol moment of reg being like “yeah i wouldn’t have gotten this far without y’all” because he appreciates his amazing team of his best gal friends, and even though he doesn’t say it enough, but he loves them so much!!!

9. stop feeling invisible and start feeling invincible [interlude] — “invincible” by aminé; spider-man: into the spider-verse

i totally forgot reg gave bobby a cool rock during this beach section, bc i recently wrote a scene in the cmbcyb prequel with ABJLR and thomas on the beach, and reg brings a bobby a cool rock in that too, but it didn't click with me that i had already written that same thing months ago lol. i'm keeping it in, though. it was cute.

initial/name tattoos are kinda weird to me but i like the idea of bobby getting them bc he's secretly a sap in every version of him i've ever written

also tattoo employees: bex is named after bex taylor-klaus (the voice actor for pidge in "voltron") and may is named after may parker (from the official "spider-man" universe)

this ch (up until the present day scene) is like. the last Silly Fun Times ch bc everything gets so serious afterward lol. y'all remember that moment in ch8 after the spidey-reveal when alex tells reg to be safe, and reg is internally like "oh god is it going to be this serious all the time?" the answer is Yes ahaha Foreshadowing.

10. when it started — the strokes; spider-man

bobby insisting that the ww employees don't call them "sir" or "mister" = weird gender feelings have been going on for a while, even if they didn't fully realize it until months later

the flashback/origin is one of the earlier things i wrote for this fic (at least the premise of bobby-carrie-reggie going to ww, them sneaking into the ending of trev's presentation, and the lab scene) although i didn't even THINK of the hielo/fuego part until i was writing ch7 when reg has that moment of thinking him getting his powers Wasn't an accident, and then i was like "lol wouldn't it be so silly if hielo and fuego were at ww for whatever reason, maybe they snuck in or maybe they worked there, and they were the reason reg got his powers" and then i made them employees

11. hurry, hurry, hurry before i go insane — “i wanna be sedated” by the strokes; spider-man: far from home

i think it took longer for me to decide on a song/lyrics to title this chapter than it did to actually write the chapter

i wrote out notes for myself of the ot4's separate arcs for the next few chapters (bc they're all going through different stuff, but we, the audience, mainly see the spidey-stuff bc reg pov and also it's a spidey-fic, but obvi alex/bobby/luke's lives don't revolve around spidey-stuff as heavily as reg's does) and the main note? "okay so basically everyone is Going Through It"

haha the gang watches the spidey-movies that's so silly!!!

i was going through some tummy problems while writing this (bc i am a hot girl with acid reflux (gender neutral)) so most of reg's tummy problems are based on my own experience hehe

while i was recording the podfic, police/ambulances kept driving by so that may or may not be heard in the final recording, Except during the actual spidey-and-police scene. the irl police only drove by before or after me recording that part smh my head

12. alone — danny elfman; spider-man

ahaha reggie is Going Through It

i wish i could say more here but i genuinely forgot what i originally wrote, and then tumblr refreshed the draft page before i could say it so Oops. when i reblog this post with notes for future chapters, i'll probably add notes for aforementioned chapters as i remember them.

[rowanwhitethornisbae]

Faking It Chapter 1

Rowaelin Fake Dating High School Au

A/N: This is going to be told through Aelin and Rowan’s POV’s but will also feature other characters. 

masterlist

Aelin Galathynius had never been this pissed off in her entire life. 

“I need to focus on myself.” 

“You can be a lot to handle sometimes.” 

If Aelin hadn't been so shellshocked she most definitely would've slapped that grimace off his ruggedly handsome face. Chaol Westfall and her had been dating for as long as Aelin could remember. Grade six graduation, he was there. Grade eight dance marathon, him again. First day of high school, Chaol. Junior prom night, guess fucking who. 

Now, she was barely a week into senior year and everything was already going to shit. It’s not that she was completely torn up about the breakup - she wasn't - it was more about her pride. Aelin’s bitchy side could not believe that she hadn't been the one to dump him first. They’d barely spoken to each other all summer long. Aelin had been lifeguarding at a pool on the south side of town and Chaol had been a camp counsellor on the north. Still, their friend groups crossed over in every way possible. Aelin was the head cheerleader, leader of about every committee you could think of, and as Aedion liked to call her, “Queen of Terrasen High”. Chaol was, you guessed it, the football team captain and starting quarter back. They were the textbook couple in every way possible. Still, despite the cheerleaders and football players hanging out nearly every night, Chaol and Aelin had barely talked. It had been that way since their huge fight on the last day of junior year. They’d claimed to forgive each other, but never really had. They’d both said some really fucked up shit. Still, Aelin couldn't bring herself to be completely regretful of what she’d said to him. 

“This is a good thing A.” Her best friend Lysandra was saying beside her. “You’re way hotter than him anyway.” 

Snapping back to attention, Aelin smiled. “I am aren't I.” She laughed. 

“Hell yes.” Lysandra assured her. “He was never in your league.” 

Aelin laughed and threw her arm over her best friends shoulders. School was out for the day and they were heading out to meet Aedion for a drive home. Ignoring the faint anger in her gut, Aelin had to admit she felt more free. She hadn't been single since the sixth grade - save the small break her and Chaol had taken in 10th year. Aelin didn't like to ponder too much on that time in her life. 

A blast of warm air hit her as they pushed open the heavy doors to the school. Aedion’s face broke into a wide grin as he spotted them. As soon as her and Lysandra reached him he pulled her into a bear hug. “Welcome to the world of miserable and lonely single people. You’re gonna love it.” He messed with her hair and she groaned for him to put her down. 

“How the hell do you know already?” She asked.

“Oh my sweet naive cousin. Everyone knows.” He smiled sympathetically. 

“Everyone?” Aelin said, a hint of desperation in her tone.

“Everyone.” Aedion echoed. “It’s the biggest news to hit the school since, well, you and Chaol took break.”

Aelin swore under her breath. “Can’t people focus on their own lives for once.” 

Lysandra laughed softly. “We need to find you a rebound.” She said, bouncing on her toes. “I finally get the chance to be my best friends wingman.” 

“I don't want a rebound.” Aelin said frowning. 

“Would you rather Chaol find one first. He broke up with you, you’re already losing.” 

Damn Lysandra. She knew that Aelin was probably the most competitive person alive and could literally never shy away from a fight. 

“Fine. Who?” She swung open the door to Aedion’s car and climbed in the back.

Lysandra clapped her hands together and joined her in the back. “How about Fenrys Moonbeam?” 

Aelin shook her head back and forth. “No way.”

“Why?” Aedion asked. “He’s unfairly attractive.” 

“You date him then.” Aelin shot back. 

“Maybe I will.” He smiled wickedly at her in the rearview mirror and pulled out of the parking lot. 

“How about Sam Cortland.” Lys suggested. 

For a moment Aelin considered it. Despite being a year younger than her, Sam was extremely cute. His messy brown hair and constant smile didn't hurt matters. 

“Too nice.” Aelin insisted. “I’ll feel too bad about using him.” 

Lysandra had just begun naming someone else when their car slammed into something else. Aelin’s body lurched forward uncontrollably, head slamming into the seat in front of her. 

“Fuck!” Aedion swore. “Fucking hell!”

Aelin didn't even have time to revel in the fact that Aedion had actually cursed. Instead, she surveyed her body to make sure she was alright. Lysandra appeared to be doing the same and they both exchanged weak smiles of comfort. All three of them slowly got out of the car to see who exactly they had run into. 

Aelin was stilling rubbing at her temples when a voice sent a chill down her spine. 

“Are you fucking kidding me Ashryver?” He said. 

Heart racing, Aelin lifted her head slowly and met the anger filled green eyes of Rowan Whitethorn. He looked absolutely flawless in his leather jacket and white tee. His too tight jeans were ripped around the knees and cuffed just above his black combat boots. Rowan’s silver hair was messy and unkept and his tattoo was just as beautiful as ever. The vibrant green of his eyes never failed to take her off guard. Eyes that were now staring directly at her. 

He blinked twice, the only reaction he would show, and went back to yelling at her cousin. 

“I’m sorry man.” Aedion was saying in the background. “I didn't see you.” 

“It’s not his fault.” Lysandra jumped in. “We were all distracted.” 

“Let me guess.” He snarled back, tone as pissed off as ever. “Discussing the recent breakup.” Rowan was looking at Aelin now, waiting for a response. 

“Something like that.” She mumbled, not looking directly at him. 

“Didn't hear that princess.” He said loudly.

“Fuck off Rowan.” Aedion yelled, subtly stepping between them. “It was accident, send me the bill for your bumper. We’re going now.” 

“Whatever.” Rowan didn’t look at her once. He only got back in his dented black car, flipped Aedion off, and hit the gas. 

“Come on A.” Lysandra said softly, wrapping an arm around Aelin’s trembling form. She pulled her gently back toward their car. Aelin could feel Aedion’s gaze on her, yet for some reason she couldn't bring herself to care. 

After a few more minutes of silent and awkward driving, Aelin couldn't bear it anymore. 

“I’m fine guys.” She said with as much confidence as she could muster. “Please stop looking at me like I'm a time bomb.” 

Lysandra laughed and smiled. “Whatever you say A.” Aelin had never been this grateful for her best friend. 

“How about Rowan.” Lysandra continued. Every thought left Aelin’s head and she jolted upwards in her seat. 

“Are you insane? Are you literally fucking mental. I would get burned alive then have a conversation with him.” Aelin was practically yelling now. 

Lysandra only shrugged. “What’s the one thing that hurts more than sleeping with the best friend?” She asked Aedion. 

“Sleeping with the guy you told him not to worry about.” Her cousin recited, smirking in the rearview mirror. 

“Absolutely not. No way in hell.” She paused. “Besides, he wouldn't even give me the time of day.”

Lys squealed. “So you’re considering it.”

“No.” Aelin murmured, ignoring her friend’s pointed glares. 

“Alright.” Lysandra finally relented. “Just think on it.” 

“Fine.” Aelin nodded, and went back to staring at nothing through the car window. 

                                                     ~~~~~~~~

“Lorcan!” Rowan yelled out. “Where are you guys?” 

“Out back.” Came the booming yell of Lorcan Salvaterre. 

Sighing, Rowan put his coat back on and walked through the house to the back door. Only, Fenrys greeted him, patting him on the back and moving over on the couch. “How was your day?” His friend asked. 

“Horrible.” Rowan admitted. 

Fenrys stuck out his bottom lip. “How come?” 

“I talked to Aelin Galathynius.” 

The rest of the group instantly stopped whatever conversations they’d been having and whirled towards him. Fenrys’ eyes were blown wide open as he struggled to find the words. 

“Explain.” Lorcan said at last, falling back in his chair. Vaughn and Gavriel were staring at him cautiously, as if he might have another breakdown.  “Her cousin hit my car.” He grumbled. 

“The first time you speak to Aelin in nearly two years is because you crashed into her car” Vaughn reiterates. 

Rowan only nods. Fenrys, bless him, somehow restrains from laughing. 

“So do tell.” Gavriel gestures for Rowan to go into more detail. 

“I made some comment about the breakup, she refused to look at me, I basically mocked and condescended her, and then Aedion told me to fuck off and I left.” He reached down into the cooler for a drink. 

“Um wow.” Lorcan sighed. “Nice going asshole.” 

Rowan just held his beer out in salute and took a long drink. He was more than ready to forget about the whole day and move on. Unfortunately, his friends seemed less inclined for his plan. 

“The news of their breakup is all over the school.” Fenrys told them. He had always been their number one source of gossip, considering the rest of them despised most social interaction. “Guys are already placing bets on who can sleep with her first. Cairn bet Nox 1000$ he can nail her by Dorian’s party this Friday.” 

Rowan tried and failed to ignore the tightening in his chest. 

“Will she even go to that?” Gavriel posed. “Dorian is Chaol’s best friend anyway.”

“She’ll be there.” Rowan blurted before he could take it back.

All eyes again flipped to him. “Why don’t you make a move Rowan?” Lorcan asked, a smirk etched onto his lips. 

“Fuck off Salvaterre. I hate the bitch.” Rowan snarled. 

“You didn't seem to hate her so much when - “ Fenrys began. 

Rowan was already up and moving before he could hear the end of the sentence. He ignored their calls of apology and to come back, instead getting into his car and pulling out. At last, he pulled into the parking space in front of his aunt’s house and leaned his head against the car window. 

It had barely been a week and his senior year was already shaping up to be a fucking mess. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Throne of Glass Tag List 

message me, leave an ask, or comment to be added

@queen-of-glass

@courtofjurdan

@fictional-horan

@bamchickawowow

@julemmaes

[wakatoshine]

all summer long (miya osamu x reader) part 1

after a disastrous confession, you find yourself running away from your problems and finding shelter in the countryside at your mother’s coworker’s summer camp in hyogo. you never had the intention of making friends, but something changes when you meet a certain grey haired counselor and his interesting group of friends

word count: 4.1k

you hadn’t meant to fall in love with your best friend’s cousin during your second year of highschool, but here you were. crying in sakusa kiyoomi’s basement as he awkwardly tried to comfort with you.

you and kiyoomi had known each other since second grade. your parents had attended university together and had stayed friends since. you grew especially close to the sakusa family after the passing of your father during junior high. since then, it was easier to find you at the sakusa household than your own.

komori motoya had entered your life early on as well, it was impossible to ignore him since he was in fact your best friend’s cousin.

you had realized your feelings for the brown haired boy two weeks into your first year at itachiyama, and had confessed the first week of the break leading up to your third year.

maybe you should’ve seen it coming when he had said he thought of you as a sister. i mean, the kid was completely blindsided by your confession. it’s not like you had given any signs of your liking for the boy.

“y/n can you calm down i don’t want your snot all over my couch,” sakusa said, bringing you out of your own thoughts.

you laughed dryly, and sakusa shot you a serious look. you know he was being serious.

“you know omi, i was kinda hoping toya would say yes, you know?” you said pitifully, wiping your tears away with the sleeve of your hoodie (that happened to be komori’s).

“but he didn’t, and you shouldn’t be spending your whole summer break moping around about it.” sakusa stated, handing you a box of tissues.

“it’s not like i could even though i wanted to, there’s a reason why i chose to confess this weekend,” you told the curly haired boy.

sakusa sent you a questioning look, so you graciously chose to elaborate instead of keeping your shroud of mystery.

“i have a job,” you said, “i’m being a camp counselor at this summer camp in hyogo. i knew that if i confessed now i’d be able to run away from any problems it would cause,”

sakusa scrunched his nose, “hyogo, huh?”

you nodded, “mom’s coworker needed a favor, do you have a problem with it?”

sakusa shook his head, “no, i just know someone from there. he’s quite problematic.”

“i’m glad that you’re so worried about me omi, but there’s no need it’s not like i’ll make any connections. it’s just a summer job it’s not like i’ll be going back,” you said, gently pushing him on the shoulder.

“don’t touch me with your snotty hands y/n, that’s disgusting,” sakusa bites out.

you roll your eyes, “only since you asked so kindly.”

extra #1

the first thing you noticed when you stepped onto the train platform in hyogo three days later was the heat. you could already feel beads of sweat form on the nape of your neck.

the change in scenery did not go unnoticed by you. the tall concrete buildings of your neighborhood in tokyo had been replaced by greenery and blue sky. the air felt clearer, and you felt relaxed.

after sending a text to sakusa (and komori reluctantly) that you made it, you start searching for your mom’s coworker in the small crowd of people waiting at the station.

“y/n chan!” you heard someone call. you spot an older lady with clipped brown hair and warm brown eyes.

“watanabe-san,” you greeted, “thank you for picking me up,”

the watanabe matriarch smiled at you, “no need to be so formal! i’m so glad your mom agreed to have you join our staff this summer! the other counselors are excited to meet you!” she said while shaking your hand.

you opened the back door and put your suitcases in the back seat before slipping into the passenger side.

“i’m happy to be here,” you offered weakly, trying to play off your nervousness.

you had never considered yourself to be good with children, so working at a summer camp was quite out of your comfort zone. watanabe had told you that you’re a good fit for the job, but you couldn’t help but be a little self conscious of your lack of experience.

the further and further down the road watanabe drove, the more the scenery changed from small houses and neighborhoods to sprawling fields of rice and various grains. two hours into the drive, the farmland transformed into dense forestry. you were approaching your final destination.

you checked your phone, the reception was gone. you had expected this, and came prepared with envelopes and stamps to write letters to sakusa and your family when you were away. you turned your phone off and pocketed it in your backpack. it would stay there the duration of the summer.

watanabe pulled in front of a run down cabin, “this is where you and your group of campers will be staying. after you drop your luggage off i’ll walk you to main camp where the other counselors are waiting,” she explained.

the unit contained two other cabins besides yours, the other female counselors waved at you and you waved back.

the cabin itself was quite nice on the inside. there were six bunk beds for the campers, and a cubby with a single bed for you and your belongings.

you’d be living there for the next three months, so you packed quite a bit of things from your room so you wouldn’t feel too homesick.

one of them being a few strings of fairy lights, which you decided to hang over the ceiling of the cabin and not just in your area. other decorations you had brought with you included curtains, a carpet, and various board games you planned to play with the kids.

an hour later, you stood in front of the photo wall you created over your bed. there were currently only ten or so photos, most of them pictures of you with your family and friends. your favorites being the time izuna had treated you to ice cream but then spilled your order all over himself (komori had somehow caught it on camera), the photo of you and sakusa from fifth grade in your matching uniforms, and the picture of you with the itachiyama volleyball team after their nationals win earlier this year.

you sighed and gently chastised yourself for getting stuck in your own head when watanabe was most likely sitting on the picnic table right outside your cabin waiting for you.

after reapplying a substantial amount of deodorant and slipping into one of sakusa’s old practice shirts, you stepped outside and told watanabe you were ready to go.

the walk to main camp was about ten minutes, somewhere along the way watanabe had mentioned that your unit was the furthest away from the main attractions.

your jaw dropped once you saw main camp for the first time. it was situated in front of a small lake, the trees gave way to a small clearing where a pavilion and other cabins were built. there were several picnic tables along with a bulletin board listing the week’s camp activities.

watanabe led you to a table where a group of boys were loudly bickering. they all shut up once they noticed the newest arrivals.

“what’s up boss?” one of them asked.

“this is our newest counselor l/n y/n, i trust you guys to make her comfortable,” watanabe said, shooting the blonde who had spoken earlier a stern look.

“we wouldn’t dream of doin’ anythin’ else!” he said with an innocent smile. you called bullshit.

sadly, watanabe had left immediately after introducing you claiming she had her own logistical duties to do before the first session of campers arrived next week.

you stood awkwardly as the boys eased back into their own conversation. great, five minutes into meeting new people and you were already feeling left out.

“would ya wanna sit down?” one of the boys asked, and you nodded. sitting down next to him in the spot he had made for you.

“i’m kita shinsuke, it’s a pleasure meetin’ ya.” kita said, extending a hand in your direction.

“l/n y/n.” you said, taking his hand and giving it a firm shake.

“everyone,” kita said to the group, “introducing yerself to l/n. ya heard what watanabe-san said,”

“i’m miya atsumu, but don’t go callin’ me miya, i wouldn’t want ya to get me confused for this idiot,” atsumu said, punching the grey haired boy sitting next to him.

the other boy rolled his eyes, “osamu,” he said simply, “don’t listen to what that idiot has to say, he doesn’t know what he’s talkin’ ‘bout.”

“i’m suna, and believe it or not both of them are complete idiots. pleasure to meet someone who doesn’t speak like an eighty year old farmer,” suna says, offering you a sly smirk.

“ignorin’ sunarin’s last statement, i’m aran. there’s a few other counselors in our group as well but they’re settin’ up.” the last member of the group said.

you nodded, hoping that you had committed their names to memory.

“you all seem to know each other well, have you guys been counselors here before?” you asked, propping your chin up on your hand.

“yes, but we also play on the same volleyball team,” kita said, “or at least played on the same team. aran and i just graduated,”

you hummed, “nice. i know a few volleyball players myself,”

“where are ya from?” aran asked, curious about your connections.

“tokyo,” you stated simply, noticing how atsumu promptly came to attention at the mention of the capital city.

“what school do ya go to?” he asked, giving you a weird look.

your nose scrunched, “i’m a second year- third year now i guess, at itachiyama. does that matter?”

the boys looked at each other, “we played against them in finals during interhigh nationals.” kita said.

oh, it clicked.

“i knew your names sounded familiar. especially yours atsumu, i don’t think my friend likes you that much,” you said bluntly.

atsumu’s face flushed red from embarrassment.

“yer friend wouldn’t happen to be omi-kun right?” he said, looking down at the table.

“yup!” you said teasingly, “i’m his neighbor actually, so i’ve heard a lot about you.”

suna laughed, “good luck with this one atsumu,” he said, initiating boisterous laughter at the expense of one miya atsumu.

time flew by and at the end of the day sleep came fast with the knowledge you had five new friends.

extra #2

“oh my gosh my god oh my god,” you mumbled to yourself as you ran through the woods to main camp.

it was the second day of the first camp session, and you had decided to take a small nap during your break in the hammock woods. the hammock woods was arguably your favorite place in camp. the kids never visited because they found it boring, so it was often the quietest place you could find.

the downside of the quiet was that you had to rely on technology to wake you up, and for some reason (later you would learn that you forgot to set an alarm) your phone didn’t go off fifteen minutes before your class.

so here you were, springing to the pavilion and praying that watanabe was in her trailer instead of making her rounds.

you arrived five minutes late, face red and completely out of breath. a few campers, thankfully none in your unit, turned and looked at you weirdly. you smiled at them. they turned back to their projects.

“what was that?” suna questioned, sending you a teasing smile.

you point at him menacingly, “don’t say a single thing sunarin,” you threaten.

he chuckles, “you have a lot to say for someone who was late to their second class ever,”

“you’re an ass, i hope you know that,” you whisper, making sure that none of the campers heard you.

“okay okay,” suna said, “stop flipping out i won’t tell watanabe,”

you sigh and pat suna on the head.

“i’ll buy you chuupets from the general store on my night off this week in thanks,” you say happily.

suna feigns anger, “you better.”

in the week before the campers arrived for session one, you had grown a lot closer to the other counselors. suna especially. the two of you co-taught nature studies so the majority of your time so far at camp planning lessons with him.

since both atsumu and osamu taught on the same day you did (mondays and wednesdays), you also got to spend a fair share of time with them on tuesdays and thursdays.

even though your conflicting schedules made it hard to see kita, aran, akagi, oomimi, or ginjima, you still made sure to talk to them during campfires and in passing during meals.

not having phone reception was annoying at first, but after the first three days you got used to it. you had written sakusa first, telling him about the miya twins and the inarizaki team who happened to also be counselors. he expressed his distaste in his response, but included well wishes (and disinfectant wipes).

you were aware that komori had written to you as well, but that letter was still sitting fully sealed under your mattress. you would deal with that later.

when it came time for the first batch of campers to arrive for session one, you immediately became a hit. both with the campers in your cabin and their parents. because of this, you were thankfully on watanabe’s good side.

your campers were entranced with the way you spoke (“like a true city girl!” one had said), and many of them regularly asked what it was like to live in a big city.

you had tried to keep their questions to a minimum while still answering them with as much detail you liked, which wasn’t too much.

even your students in your nature studies class loved you. they often called you their favorite teacher, which you loved to rub in suna’s face.

you were very grateful that you were given this chance to get away from the trainwreck of emotions you had left behind in tokyo. the change of pace was amazing, and so were the new friends you made.

“y/n i would very much appreciate if you came back to reality,” suna said while waving his hand in front of your face.

“huh?” you shook your head, “sorry, i was just lost in thought,”

suna looked at you, “i could kinda tell,” he scoffed.

“what do you have after class today?” you asked him, eyes doing a once over across the room to check if any campers needed help with their flower drawings.

“i’m on unit duty with aran, but i think i’ll just sleep in my cabin instead if none of my kids are there,” he said, and you nodded, fully understanding how tiring being a counselor could be.

“i’m on lifeguard duty at the lake,” you told him and he grimaced.

“ew,” was the only thing he said back, and you fully agreed.

lifeguarding was easily the worst rec time job. it was always in full sun and humidity, and the mosquitos were absolutely insane close to the water.

“i think both of the twins are on duty with me though,” you thought aloud, “that should be interesting,”

suna nodded eagerly, “you better tell me what they fight about today or i’ll never talk to you again,”

you playfully smack him on the shoulder, “you’re such a drama queen. why they fight?”

oh boy, suna thought, she has a lot to learn.

“well this morning atsumu asked osamu to make him coffee, osamu said no, atsumu got mad and complained to kita and the rest of his cabin, and then kita yelled at him to stop embarrassing himself in front of the kids,” he explained.

you looked at him baffled, “you say that as if their arguments are a daily occurrence,”

suna looked at you with a dead expression, “because they are,”

the rest of nature studies passed by without a hitch. the campers lined up in front of you and suna to pridefully show their artwork off, and after many compliments you were finally free.

after running back to your unit to change into your swimwear, you walked to the beach with low expectations. once you arrived, osamu greeted you with a wave and atsumu gave you a tight side hug.

“y/n why do ya always wear itachiyama shirts and never inarizaki shirts,” atsumu whined once he pulled back from the hug.

“are you serious,” you ask, and atsumu nods, “atsumu i wonder why,”

atsumu groans, “every time i see ya i have to be reminded of omi’s stupid face and i hate it,”

you rolled your eyes, “i’m going to my post and i’d advise you to do the same if you don’t want to get caught slacking off,”

you quickly made your way to your lifeguard bench, and noticed that it was (thankfully) osamu sitting to the right of you. you were way too tired to deal with atsumu right now.

“so y/n,” osamu started, “i’ve been meaning to ask ya why yer here, i mean, it’s not like i don’t enjoy yer company and yer a great counselor and all-“

“you can ask me why i’m here, osamu, i’m not offended,” you interrupt, and he sends you a sheepish smile.

“so why are ya here then?” he asked, not meeting your gaze.

you giggle at his shyness and he blushes, you think to yourself for a moment before replying.

“i got rejected, and i thought a change in scenery would be nice,” you said, not bothering to hide the reasoning to someone you’d most likely never see again after summer ends.

osamu looks at you completely shocked by your brutal honesty. you laugh at him once again, his reaction was priceless!

“was it sakusa?” osamu asks, hoping he isn’t being to direct.

“oh god no,” you exclaim (much to osamu’s shock), “that’d practically be taboo!”

osamu sends you a questioning look that seems to say ‘are you going to continue?’. you sigh and oblige.

“it was komori, if you must know,” you say, somehow managing to keep a smile on your face. “told me i was like a sister, which kinda hurt if i’m completely honest,”

this time osamu looks at you with pity, and you quickly back track.

“oi quit it!” you exclaim, managing to get atsumu’s attention as well, “it’s not like i’m gonna let a silly boy ruin my summer,”

atsumu whistles from his own station.

“shaddup ‘tsumu, we were havin’ a moment!” osamu yells at his twin.

atsumu throws his sandal in osamu’s direction, but it falls short and hits a camper square on the head.

both you and osamu jump down from your respective stations and rush to the camper as atsumu is frozen in shock.

“look at what ya did ya scrub!” osamu scowls at his brother. atsumu just hangs his head, too embarrassed to say anything over the cries of the camper.

you take your hand and gently wipe away the camper’s tears with your thumb.

“hey bud don’t cry, it’s just a small owie ok? you’re such a strong boy, this is nothing!” you tell him, squeezing his tiny hands.

he sniffles and stands up straight before giving you a hug. osamu offers him a high five before the kid runs back to his friends in the sand pit.

“you don’t think we should take him to the med hut?” you asked osamu.

osamu shook his head, “nah, he’ll be fine. plus we don’t want to overwhelm the staff there unless it’s really needed.”

you nod, thankful that your first camp crisis was handled so well.

“thanks for being the bestest lifeguard buddy osamu!” you tell him, giving him a high five that he reciprocated with ease.

“i heard that y/n! don’t forget i’m right here!” atsumu yells in your direction.

“did ya hear anything?” osamu asks, mockingly cupping his hand over his ear.

“nothing at all,” you responded, shooting atsumu a playful glare over your shoulder.

“let’s get back to work then,” osamu suggested. then it was back to the station for you both.

the first session of your time as a counselor ended with many tears, both from you and your twelve campers in your cabin. on the last night of session one, you sat your campers in a circle on the cabin floor and had them share their favorite camp memories. even you were moved to tears by how strong their friendships were after only twelve days.

the next morning was hard for you, seeing all of the children you had called your kids go back home. you would have never expected to feel so strongly for a group of twelve eight through ten year olds.

now that your cabin had been emptied out, you walked to main camp with a backpack full of clothes and toiletries for the weekend. the boys were going back to town and staying at home, and the twins were kind enough to open up their house to you.

“thanks again for your hospitality,” you told them while kita drove the three of you down the road, “i think i’d be lonely alone at camp over the weekend.”

“it’s nothin’” osamu said, “we can hang around town and show ya around,”

atsumu nodded along with excitement, and kita smiled. even he was excited to get to know you better.

as you neared civilization again, your phone began to go off. you ignored it for awhile but when it started ringing the special ringtone you saved for just for sakusa you knew you had to pick it up.

“hey yoomi, what’s up?” you greeted as his face filled up your small phone screen.

“are you coming back to tokyo for the weekend?” he asked, not bothering to beat around the bush.

you shook your head and sakusa’s eyebrows furrowed.

“where are you staying then?” he questioned.

then, in a cursed sequence, atsumu woke up from his nap and took your phone out of your hands.

“omi-kun! what a pleasure!” he smirked.

“miya can you please give me back to y/n, i haven’t talked to her for two weeks,” sakusa said, clearly displeased at seeing atsumu.

“so cold,” atsumu mumbled, but he listened and sakusa’s sigh could be heard loud and clear in kita’s small sedan.

“i don’t think i like the idea of you staying with miya, but it’s unavoidable. it’s too far for you to travel back home only to leave again in two days.” sakusa concluded.

you nodded, “i miss you though,” you said, trying to mimic the secret handshake the two of you came up with in fourth grade. it was hard without him actually doing his part. but you did elicit a laugh from the dark haired boy, which made atsumu whip around in his seat.

“motoya misses you too you know. he said you never wrote back to him,” sakusa said after a minute or so of silence.

osamu stiffened next to you and squeezed your knee, knowing that the topic of your rejection still makes you feel uncomfortable.

“is he with you right now?” you asked him.

sakusa nodded, “he’s in the living room, i figured you wanted to talk in private first so i went to my room,”

“i’ll say hi,” you said, and watched nervously as sakusa stood up and walked into the living room you practically grew up in.

“here he is,” sakusa said before passing the phone.

“hiya y/n!” komori greeted. you blushed. it was as if nothing had changed.

“hey toya” you whispered and watched as he curled up more into the couch. you were still unsure how it was possible for one to be so adorable.

“i’m sorry if what happened earlier upset you, but i still love you, you know that right? i was worried when you didn’t write back,” he said.

“sorry toya, but i think i needed some time first,” you answered with a sad smile.

osamu shot you a concerned look but you nudged his calf with your shoe to try to convey that you were ok.

komori nodded, “i’m sorry again, y/n,”

you shook your head, “you don’t need to apologize for not feeling the same way, let’s just get back to normal ‘kay?” you asked.

komori smiled brightly, and you couldn’t help but smile back at him. (smiles do look really good on him, but it’s not like you could tell him that without making it weird anymore).

“that sounds great, i’ll pass you back to omi now,” he says.

“bye toya,” you said, thankful that that conversation was out of the way.

sakusa took his phone back and you heard him gently close the door to his bedroom.

“that wasn’t too painful now was it?” he asks, quirking an eyebrow at you.

“no yoomi, you’re right as always,” you quip, knowing that’s what he wants to hear.

“i’ll let you go now, i know you can hear me miya don’t try anything funny,” sakusa says sternly, “have fun y/n, don’t fall off the face of the earth this time,” he said in a softer tone and proceeded to hang up before you could say goodbye.

you sighed, “sorry you all had to hear that,” you apologized.

the three boys shook their heads.

“yer all good y/n, it seemed like ya needed to have that conversation,” osamu said.

you smiled, “yeah, i really did.”

—

this is long! too long for one post actually! here’s part one though! part two will come later tonight.

general tag list: @cadenceh2o

part two.

[im-a-simp1]

More Than Meets The Eye: Part 1: Esmeray

Summary: Y/n goes to Midtown Tech for her first day of school but that is not the only first that happens to her

Word Count: 5k

Warnings: Cute awkward teenagers, there are some subtle hints of male dominance(no abuse actually happens but there could be some triggering to people so please beware of that)

*I know I haven’t posted this part in awhile, I just finished finals which were a pain in the butt

Series Materlist

Masterlist

Y/n POV

I take a final look at my outfit for my first day of school at Midtown Tech. It’s been weird that I haven’t been at school for about 5 to 6 months, well my dad says it’s because of my powers. He said that after curing me, it gave me powers as a side effect. I had the ability to poison anything at the touch of my hand. Before I could go anywhere, I needed to learn to control it. I had to learn how to touch things without poisoning them. After months of practicing controlling it, I finally got it under wraps, for the most part. As I looked at the mirror, putting the final touches to my outfit, I was ready. I had my hair curled, wore my favorite oversized crew neck that was a basic dark green crew neck but it was super comfy. I wore my ripped jeans to match with it. With just a light makeup look of some foundation and mascara, I was set. I grabbed my backpack and started making my way down the stairs, my dad meets me at the bottom.

“Are you excited for your first day of school?” He asks

“I am. More importantly I’m ready to get out of the house. I feel myself going crazy looking at the same walls.”

“I know you have been patient and have been working really hard on controlling your powers” I look down at my hands, I am praying that they don’t fail me today. If I mess up, I am most likely never leaving the house ever again.

“Oh speaking of I got something for you” he turns around and grabs a pair of black gloves and hands them to me.

“You're joking right?”

“I’m sorry Y/n but you have to wear them. They are designed to help control your powers. It’s just for safety precautions”

“But dad, no one wears gloves. Everyone is going to think I’m weird and that’s not really the reputation I am going for”

“And no one else else has powers like you do so you are going to wear them even if they aren’t cool” he put air quotations at the last word there.

I groaned at him. I get that he is trying to protect me but this is going to be a problem at school, people are going to ask questions.

“How long do I have to wear gloves for”

“It is just till when I think it is safe enough”. Wait hold on. Um how will he know when he isn’t even there to see if it is “safe”.

“And what will I say if people ask why I wear gloves? Because people will definitely will be asking”

“Just come up with something like oh I don’t know, maybe you burnt your hands recently I don’t know and I don’t care and all I know is that you are wearing the gloves. End of discussion” He said the last part more sterningly. I knew that I wasn’t going to win this argument.

I rolled my eyes and put on the gloves. Thankfully they were actually pretty comfortable, hopefully they stay that way for the rest of the school day. I get them on and my dad and I walk to the car.

“Hey where’s Harry?” I asked Dad

“He is going to a boarding school this year”

“Why?”

“Don’t worry about it kiddo”

It was odd that Harry was going to boarding school, he is a nice well behaved teen, well it seemed like it, I didn’t really know to be honest. Harry and I barely even talked, Harry didn’t seem like he was a big fan of me. Every time he saw me enter the same room as him he would roll his eyes and walk out of the room and times where he is forced to be in the same room as me, he barely looked or spoke to me. Did I do something that offended him? I know I’m adopted and that I’m not his sister biologically but he acts like he disgusts me. Even if I had done anything to him I wouldn't have remembered. Dad said that when he cured me, apparently one of the side effects was that I don’t have any recollection of my long term memory before waking up in a chamber. Another side effect was that when I touch things, they die. I hate it so much, I couldn’t touch anything for the longest time. When I touched a plant, it died. When a butterfly landed on my hand when it flew into my room, it died. I even almost killed someone because I forgot about it and went to shake someone’s hand once but thankfully my dad stopped me. After months of learning how to control my powers, I got it under control, for the most part. Sometimes I lose my focus and slip up. I hate when slip up happens. Not only do I get mad at myself but my father gets mad at me too, which is ten times worse. Maybe it is a good thing to wear these gloves, I don't want people to think that I am going to kill them with the touch of my hands. Dad’s chauffeur, George, met us at the car. He opened the door for my dad and I and we got in. I was fortunate to live in a home that was wealthy enough to help me save from my sickness and have resources to help me control my powers. We were silent the majority of the time as Geroge was driving us to my school.

“Hey Dad, you talk about how I had this sickness when you cured me, which I am grateful for but what was my sickness again”

He turns his head slowly towards me and looks at me for a moment. I can see the deliberation in his eyes.

“It was a rare disease that they had recently discovered. With it being recently discovered, the doctors had no cure for it, that is when I took on the challenge. I created the cure but it came with some big sacrifices.” He took my hands into his. I knew what the sacrifices were, he didn’t need to tell me.

“Thank you, for telling me and saving me”

“Of course, anything for you” He leans and kisses me on my temple. We pull up to the front of the school. As I was about to get out of the car, my dad grabbed my arm stopping me before I could get out.

“Oh and Y/n, one more thing”

“Yeah what is it?”

“People can’t know that I am your father”

“And why is that?”

“Let’s just say that kids would treat you very differently if they found out that you were my daughter”

“But I have always been your daughter, won’t people have already known that? I know I may not remember but they will. I mean didn’t do junior high with them?”

“Y/n we moved here not too long before you got sick. So no one who you are because you didn’t grow up with them or that you are my daughter.”

“So no one knows that I am a daughter of a multi millionaire?”

“Nope” he said with a little too much joy from what I saw. “Your new last name is y/l/n. I have already taken care of your records at the schools office. Trust me you don’t want people knowing I’m your dad. It’s for the best.”

“And why is that?” I questioned him, wanting a more specific answer. I have always gotten vague answers from him whenever I ask questions and I am getting sick of it.

“Someday you will know why but for now people can’t know okay?” His grip on my arm gets a little bit more strong.

“Okay fine. I won’t” I rip my arm out from him. I exit the car before he can tell me anything else I can or can not do, the do’s and don’ts list keeps becoming bigger and bigger.

“Have a good day!” He shouts as the car leaves.

I turn around to face the school. All of a sudden my nerves kick in all at once. I am going into this big new school. Knowing that I will be the new girl that has no friends, no guidance. I hoped that Harry could give me, obviously that didn’t work out. Even if he was here I don’t know if he would help me. He would have been nice enough to at least tell me where the office was but no he wasn’t here. I entered the school and was immediately overwhelmed with how many students there were. It seemed that people were constantly bumping into each other as they passed people in the hallway. I looked around to see any kind of guidance of where to go and saw a sign that said office with an arrow sign right next to it. Well that’s a good start.

Peter’s POV

I was walking with Ned through the crowded hallways on our way to our first class.

“How was your weekend” Ned asked

“It was alright, didn’t do a whole lot. Just homework and stopping criminals” I smiled. Even though Ned accidentally found out about my secret, it has been nice to talk to someone about it.

“I heard, the robbery you saved was all over the news.”

He replied as we were stepping into our class. I didn’t even get 3 steps into the class when Mr. Harrington stopped me.

“Peter I need you to go to the office for me. There is a new student today and you have been asked to guide them today.”

“Isn’t that like an ASB president job or something? ”Mr. Harrington looked at Peter confused, with the comment that was so not like Peter.

“It’s not that I am trying to be rude or anything I really not but I’m not the best person to show people around the school.” Plus I really don’t need someone to tagging along with me watching my every move, I am fearful enough that someone else is going to figure out my secret.

“Well that is true, about the ASB part, and maybe a little on you not being the best guide but they have most of their classes with you and I have already volunteered you so you have to do it” Mr. Harrington replied.

Great.

I walked out of the classroom and made my way down to the office, the hallway was getting less crowded with people slowly entering their classrooms. As I was making my way down, I realized that Mr. Harrington said the new student had most of my classes, not all. As long as we don’t have chemistry together, we will be okay. I needed to make web shooters today and that wasn’t going to happen if the new student was nearby, watching my every move. As I entered the office, I was greeted by the receptionist.

“What brings you in here today?” The lady said with a very monotone voice not even looking up at me.

“Um hi, I am here to show the new student-“

“Peter!” The principal came around the corner, catching me a little off guard.

“Principal Morita! You scared me there for a second.”

“Oh sorry about that Peter. Anyway I wanted to introduce you to our new student y/n y/l/n.”

Oh. My. God.

I was speechless. Noises around me were drained out as I stared at her. She is one if not the most beautiful girl I have ever seen. She has the most beautiful y/e/c, they literally sparkle and y/h/l y/h/c is gorgeous soft looking hair I have ever seen. I couldn’t take my eyes off of her. I started to hear faint noises that were trying to catch my attention.

“Peter… Peter are you with us” was I heard from Principal Morita that caused me to snap back to reality.

“Um yeah I um I’m here” looking at the principal to clarify that he was with them. I can feel the redness growing on my cheeks. Great.

“Good I thought we lost you there for a second” he chuckled as I felt my face turn even more red than before. I realized I haven’t even talked to her yet.

“Um yeah sorry I haven’t introduced myself I’m Peter Parker” as I reach my hand out to shake her hand.

“Hi Peter, I’m y/n. It’s nice to meet you” as she reaches for my hand, she seemed a little hesitant at first but once we made our hands touch she seemed to be relieved. I noticed that she was wearing gloves which I thought were old but it seemed inappropriate to ask her about it right now.

“It’s nice to meet you t-too” he starts to stubble on his words. This usually happens when he gets nervous.

“So um shall we get to class? I think classes may have started” she more asked then stated.

“Oh yes you two go on, don’t want to be more last then you already are” Principal Morita says as he is shooing is out of his office.

“I g-guess we shall,” I replied as we start walking to class.

“So um y/n what classes do you have?” I asked

“Um let’s see” as she pulls out her class schedule. I looked over to see what her schedule looks like to see that we don’t have chemistry together.

Well that’s good.

“So it looks like we have every class but chemistry together”

“Oh okay. So we have calculus right now with Mr. Harrington?”

“Yes you are correct”

“How is he, you know, as a person and a teacher”

“He’s um, a nice guy. I little oblivious but he’s nice”

“How so?”

“Well one time we decided to pull a prank on him and we changed his computer screensaver to a Bernie Sanders meme where he was sitting on the bench and apparently Mr. Harrington didn’t even notice it till the next day.” I guess it was pretty funny to her because I see her start laughing about it. She has the cutest laugh.

“Oh my god that is so funny. He didn’t notice till the next day?!” She says as she is laughing even more.

“Yep. Told you he is oblivious”

“Yeah sounds like it”

We arrived at our first class and all of the eyes of the class shifted to us as we entered the room.

“Ah welcome! Everyone this is our new student…” he waits for her to say her name. She realizes what the teacher was doing after a couple of awkward moments.

“Oh it’s y/n, y/n y/l/n”

“Welcome y/n, go ahead and take a seat”. Unfortunately the last two spots in the class were not next to each other so you guys couldn’t sit next to each other. I sat at the desk that was more towards the back where she sat more towards the middle of the room, then I realized she was sitting in the middle of the room, rightfully so. She has this appearance of her that makes her glow. It wasn’t necessary her looks, well she was gorgeous, but it was more about the way she carried herself. She was confident, happy, and seemed to be joyful all round. Peter really hoped to get to know her more. Even if this stupid little crush didn’t go anywhere he still wanted to be her friend. He found himself looking at you more than paying attention to what Mr. Harrington was saying. With that said he realized that looking at you this long was probably creepy but he was just caught up on how beautiful you are. He was snapped back to reality when the bell rang ending the class. He grabbed his things and walked over to y/n who just finished collecting her things and putting them into her backpack.

“Ready for our next class?” I asked her

“Yeah, what’s next again?”

“Spanish” I replied as we started to class

“Peter! Wait up!” Peter hears a familiar voice behind him. He honestly forgot that Ned was in their last class.

“Oh hey Ned! Ned, this is y/n and y/n this is Ned. He’s my best friend”

“Nice to meet you Ned” y/n shook Ned’s hand

“You too! I’m sorry if I sound rude but why are you wearing gloves?” Peter looked at Y/n’s hands to see what Ned was talking about. Peter took another look at her gloves and found them rather odd. They weren’t your average cotton gloves, they seemed to be custom made, expensive gloves.

“Oh yeah um I was in a house fire and my hands got burned really bad. That’s kinda why my dad, my brother, and I moved. Though my brother is at boarding school so it is just my dad and I now. My hands are currently healing right now from it but I have to wear there’s gloves till they are fully healed”

“Well I’m glad you are okay. What’s your next class?”

“Spanish”

“Oh cool okay I got to go to English but I will meet up with you guys at lunch” Ned’s tone was more of a question than a statement.

“Yeah sounds great Ned” I replied to him. I wasn’t going to force y/n to sit with us at lunch so I answered more for myself. She might make some friends before then and would rather sit with them than us.

“See you at lunch Ned!” She shouted at him as he was heading to English

Not too long afterward we started to walk to class and she spoke, “Ned seems really nice”

“Yeah he is. He can’t keep a secret to keep his life but yeah he is a great guy”

“You both seem like nice guys” I smiled with a slight chuckle.

“Thanks,” I reply. It was nice to talk to someone who wasn’t Ned and didn’t call me ‘penis parker’. I really do hope y/n and I become good friends.

It was lunchtime and y/n, Ned, and I were sitting at the cafeteria getting to know each other well more of Ned and I getting to know Y/n and Y/n getting to know us. She was kinda vague about her background, just that she was in a house fire and that her family moved here recently but I didn’t press onto it, I didn’t want to push a subject that she seemed she didn’t want to talk about. She also talked about how she got really sick and how her father was able to cure her before doctors could, apparently her doctors gave up on trying to cure her but her dad didn’t and was able to. Which is quite impressive for a new disease that was just discovered.

“Wow that’s amazing! How was he able to do it?”

“Well um he never really told me what he gave me but it worked and I didn’t question it. If it works it works.”

“And what was it actually? How did the disease affect you?” I asked.

“Well um, I kinda really don’t know, I lost some memory during that time which was one of the side effects of the cure. My dad didn’t really say to be honest. I think he just likes to forget how painful it was for him”. This just seemed weird. Her dad seemed very vague with her.

“Well enough about me, what about you guys? What do you guys like to do for fun?” You could tell she was done talking about herself

“Well we-” I started out, trying to think of something cool.

“We do a lot of Star Wars stuff,” Ned said confidently, interrupting me.

“Dude, come on” I turned to Ned in disbelief he just said that to a girl he wanted to impress. Most girls run the other direction when they start talking about Star Wars.

“I... love... Star Wars”

We turned to look at her in awe. We never encountered a girl who liked Star Wars. To my surprise, it seemed that she looked surprised with herself. I don’t know what she was confused about.

“You like Star Wars?” I wanted a clarification that I heard her right.

“Yeah...Yeah I do like Star Wars” she sounded like she was giving herself clarification.

“Hey well if you want to you don’t have to but do you want to come over and build the millennial falcon together? I just got it for Christmas and haven’t built it yet”

“Peter what about the Stark internship?” Ned bogging me in the gut, causing me to release a small groan from him just elbowing me in the side. Ned loons I’ve to me and tries to whisper to me under his breath so that only I could hear him. I reassured Ned of my plan.

“Do have that today but afterward, maybe around 6:30ish? Y/n would you be down for that?”

“Um yeah I would. Would you guys give me a second I need to go to the bathroom” she got up before we could say anything to her. I hope she is okay, I could tell her heart was beating a little faster then before.

Y/n POV

I just needed to get away for a moment, I just had the weirdest moment of my life happen to me. I have never heard of let alone talk about Star Wars till today. When Ned mentioned Star Wars, I had this rush of memories come back to my head of Star Wars and what it was about. And not only my knowledge of it but the emotions I had for it. It all rushed to me. I have never had this happen to me before. I just knew I felt overwhelmed and just needed to get away for a moment to take it all in. Was my long term memory coming back? If that is what this is, which is what I am hoping for, I will get my long term memories back which will be great, I would get to feel like me again. Not remembering my past has made me feel like I just appeared out of nowhere. It made me feel like I was a robot, with no background. But after this gave me hope of getting back to the way things used to be. I headed back to the cafeteria where Peter and Ned still were, you were glad you got lucky to meet Peter and Ned on your first day here. You knew you would be grey friends with them from here on out. Plus Peter wasn’t too bad to look at. He gets so cute when he gets nervous. I don’t know how I got so lucky to have him as my guide for school today. All of a sudden, your hands felt the urge to touch something, with your bare hands. You had to push this feeling down for now. The powers like to have a mind of their own but I had better control than that. Taking deep breaths and focusing on anything besides your hands was the way to settle the urge. I started to think about how I had plans with my new friends that invited me to go build a ship from a franchise that you all of sudden fell in love with. You were excited to have friends in general. Dad has always kept me from others so I didn’t really talk to a whole lot of people, really him and Harry, well only if Harry takes to me. But I was glad to have friends who liked me, at least I thought they liked me. No had had to think positive thoughts and only positive thoughts to keep the urge away. Yes they do like me or they would have not invited me over, they do like me, they do like me, they do like me. It was what I told myself as the urge started to go away, for now. Thankfully I got rid of it in time once I was fully returned to the urge. The bell rang for lunch to be over.

“Well I will see you guys tonight?” Ned asked. Again clarifying if we were on the same page.

“Yes see you tonight at Peters!”

-

The school day was officially done. I had gotten Peter’s number after last class together for him to text me the address to his apartment. The last class of the day, the only class I didn’t have with Peter, was lonely. Just with me being so nervous and being my first day, Peter just brought this comfort essence that made me feel okay. But now without him, it wasn’t the same. No one was as welcoming as him, this girl in the corner drew a picture of me saying that she draws people who look like they don’t belong, which was weird but kinda oddly charming at the same time but it was weird. Once the day was done I checked my phone to see if my dad texted saying if he was here to pick me up, to be honest I didn’t know if he was going to text me. Fortunately he texted me, unfortunately he said I had to walk home. I groaned at the text message. Thankfully it was only a 20-30 minute walk from the school to the apartment but still you really weren’t in the mood for walking. Eventually arriving at the apartment you walk in and see my dad cutting up lettuce, from the looks of it getting dinner ready. Wait why couldn’t he pick me up? But I knew better than to ask. You didn’t feel like getting into an argument right now.

“Hey dad”

“Hey honey how was school?”

“It was good, I made some friends!” I said with a little bit more excitement than before.

“Oh that’s great honey” although he didn’t seem to really mean it. He hasn’t even looked up at you since you walked in and his tone was dull. He didn’t really seem like he cared.

“I’m going to my room to do some homework”

“Alright dinner will be around 5:00”

Once dinner time rolled around, we were quiet for the most part. We made some small talk but never turned into a conversation. I was going to tell him about the weird emotional moment I had today but after the way he was acting today I didn’t really want to tell him. Around 6I started to get ready to go to Peter’s. I figured I would leave around 6:30 to go to his place seeing that it would take me about 30 minutes to get there. 6:30 rolls around and I start to head out. My dad was on the couch when I was heading toward the door.

“Bye dad I’m off to my friends?”

“Excuse me what?!” He looked up from his newspaper to look at me.

“My friend invited me to go over and hangout. Don’t worry I will be back before 10”

“Y/n it is a school night”

“But I will be back around 10, having me plenty of sleep for school tomorrow”

“You are not going”

“Why not?” Getting frustrated at this point. You have never really had friends before and now that you have and you want to hangout with them, you dad decides to say no, after not letting me see people for months!

“Because I said so” he said with his firm dad voice. But you weren’t going down without a fight this time.

“No you need to give me a reason”

“I don’t need to give you anything”

“For the first time in months I found people who like me and want to be around me and you say I can’t see them just because you said so? Yeah no I’m sorry I will see you at 10 then you can ground me” I turned to the door and as I grab the handle I feel this electricity go through me. Then I felt nothing, everything went silent, and everything went black.

3rd POV

“Raise Esmeray” Norman spoke once Y/n body was still. As Y/n’s alter ego was turned on by his simple words, her eyes opened and she stood up from where she had fallen. Once she was standing she was standing tall there, waiting for her commands to be given from her master.

“I am ready for further instruction sir”

“Good. Now the real reason why I couldn’t let you go was that I need you for tonight, I need you to hit a target for me tonight. Tonight I need you to visit an old friend of mine that owes me money. If he does not have it” he stopped as he removed Esmeray’s gloves “touch his throat with your hands. If he does have it, make sure he gives it to you and then touch his throat with your hands. Do not leave the target till he has died”

“Yes sir” had been Esmeray’s response. It didn’t even sound like Y/n at this point. It sounded like a robot that took over her.

“Now go get ready, once you are I will give you the name”

Esmeray just nodded and went to go change for her mission.

-

-

-

- Thank you so much for waiting so patiently. I was finishing up finals this week and I plan to post part 2 later in the week!

- In the future chapters when y/n is in their alter ego stage where Norman has control over, I’m going to reference them as Esmeray.

Esmeray means dark moon btw🌑

-Thanks for reading 😊💖

[rqnvindr]

jealousy

pairing: daishou suguru x f!reader

genre: fluff, slight angst, some suggestive content

word count: 1,601

description: daishou gets jealous on a date, but only because he cares

a.n: this is dedicated to the president of the daishou stans club @girlspirits​ ;3 i couldn’t resist cooking this up when i literally dreamt about it. luv you uwu (also he obviously isn’t dating mika here so he’s all yours)

--

you stood outside of the school gates, waiting expectantly for your boyfriend to meet you for your date. scrolling on your phone and seeing how your friends from other schools in the city had landed their spots at nationals, you sigh thinking about how that could have been him too. he could’ve lived his last year of volleyball to the fullest and taken his team to victory, but here he was, off of season for the rest of the year, and perhaps the rest of his life, unless he went pro. as they always say though, every cloud has a silver lining, and you quickly push away second hand feelings of pity and regret for him upon realizing that he did is best despite not getting the result he wanted. plus, now he no longer has practice and you guys can finally go on all of the dates you put off for months.

a pair of slender, yet strong arms wrapping around your waist suddenly snaps you out of your thoughts. your head shoots up, turning around frantically with wide eyes only to be met with daishou chuckling playfully.

“suguru! you scared me!” you exclaim, nonetheless turning around to bury into his chest as he pulls you in for a hug. 

“that was kind of the point, babe.” daishou teases, though the way you look up at him and pout afterwards immediately softens him up. and when you smack his arm playfully, with just the right amount of pain to teach him a lesson but also light enough to not inflict serious damage, his desire to protect you at all costs grows even stronger.

“ready to go?” daishou takes your hand in his, interlocking your fingers and you nod. the two of you then proceed to take a detour from the usual route home. the trip consisted of you guys asking about each other’s day, how exams went, the typical small talk before falling into silence. not the uneasy type of silence, it was the feeling where the lack of words made everything more comfortable and made your relationship deeper than perceived. just the feeling of being together on a day with perfect weather, basking in each others’ presence was enough. everyone who saw you together said what they wanted, but he was your home and you were proud of it. 

there were also the fair share of girls who tried to steal him from you, thinking that you couldn’t fulfill his desires but they clearly didn’t know the real him, who craved nothing more than intimacy just like any normal person in a relationship. sometimes he had the tendency to live on the edge when it came to other aspects of his life, but not when it came to people, be it friends, lovers, or even rivals. daishou never treated any of his connections lightly, and he was able to bring the best out of those he was closest to. there was a reason why he became team captain after all, and most definitely one that drew you to him in the first place. the security you had could never be replaced. 

you and daishou finally arrived at the convenience store to get the snacks for the movie date at your house. he remembered all of your favorites, placing them in the basket and you couldn’t help but lean over to kiss his cheek as he stood in the aisle thoughtfully, eyes filled with deep concentration in finding what you liked. 

“oh?” he turns to you, raising an eyebrow. “you love me that much, huh?” 

“how much, suguru?” you smirk, which does nothing to ease his cocky look. daishou tucks a loose strand of hair behind your ear, before leaning down.

“you’ll have to show me later if you’re gonna be like that.” he whispered, sending shivers down your spine. 

“(y/n)-san, is that you?” 

before you could continue your little showdown, you heard another male voice call from behind you. you smiled, amusedly surprised when you saw that it was izumi, one of your closest friends from middle school. 

“izumi, hi! how have you been?” you asked. daishou froze when he saw how casually you had greeted another boy in such a friendly tone in the middle of your date. he felt his heart sink when you guys started to catch up in front of him, as if he wasn’t there, and upon noticing the pink hue on izumi’s cheeks when you commented on how tall he had gotten. 

the fact that izumi completely ignored the obvious fact that you were taken and continued to act so innocent, making you laugh and beam at him like you were supposed to be doing with your boyfriend, burned his insides even more. 

daishou acts before izumi could pull any further moves on you by placing his hand on the small of your back and stepping forward towards the boy, seemingly towering over him. 

“i’m sorry to interrupt but,” he interjected, feigning civility when he was totally not apologetic at all on the inside. “how do you know my girlfriend?”

izumi freezes at the mention of the word ‘girlfriend’. daishou smirks inwardly knowing that he had gotten him.

“oh i-i went to junior high with (y/n)-san.” he stuttered. “s-sorry i didn’t know you two were on a date.”

lies. daishou wasn’t an idiot, his ability to see through people on the court translated into other aspects too. his sensors definitely went off when he saw that someone was putting on a facade to take away his lover. perhaps this old friend of yours wasn’t a bad person per se, but he felt the need to assert some sort of guard against his interest towards you. 

“i’ll leave you guys alone then.” izumi said politely, with a subtle hint of disappointment in his voice. “it was nice seeing you, (y/n)-san.”

“you too, izumi, take care!” you wave him goodbye. 

for the rest of the time, as you guys stocked up on your sweet and savory goods, daishou remained silent. you had a feeling that the sudden confrontation had thrown him off guard, and squeezed his hand reassuringly. the gesture calmed him down, but he wasn’t willing to fully let this event go. 

after you guys paid, he noticed izumi exiting the store right before you two. perfect, he thought, when he noticed from the corner of his eye that he was watching once you were outside. 

daishou gently grabbed your wrist, forcing you to look at him before firmly pressing his lips to yours. you’re taken aback from how he randomly began kissing you in public like this but saw it coming at some point. you sigh in relief from getting what you secretly craved as he tenderly ravished you. one hand cradled your jaw while the other pulled you closer by the waist possessively and your arms flung around his neck. izumi could do nothing but gape, and daishou felt his gaze, chuckling into the kiss knowing that you were all his. 

not wanting to get too carried away, daishou broke the contact, taking in your flushed cheeks and parted lips. his heart swelled with pride upon realizing that izumi had left, probably run off somewhere far, far away. 

“suguru,” your flustered state fades when you laugh softly. “you were jealous weren’t you?”

daishou grunts as he brushes his lips against your forehead. “yeah..i was. sorry if i went too far. i trust you, it’s just that, you’re the greatest thing that’s ever happened to me and are already admired by so many other people that i can’t help but let my doubts get the best of me.” he inhales sharply. “i know that there are people who think i’m not good enough for you and that they know more about you than i do and it drives me crazy even though i shouldn’t pay attention to those things, because….i love you (y/n). i love you so much and i can’t stand the thought of losing you.”

you’re speechless from the expression of his feelings. and the declaration at the end does nothing to calm your heartbeat. without hesitation, you lean in again for another kiss, this time more gentle, but passionate enough to feel all of the pent up emotions that led up to the moment. your foreheads remain pressed against each other’s after breaking the kiss. 

“i love you too, suguru.” you breathe out. “don’t ever doubt yourself or listen to what other people have to say. i promise, i would never leave you for anyone else.”

daishou’s heart had never felt warmer. if everyone else was against him, surely you’d be by his side, so why would he ever think that you’d betray him in the first place? the friendliness you exhibited towards everyone was one of the main reasons why he liked you, and he never wanted you to change despite the attention you received, especially for his projected insecurities that he no longer had to worry about. 

“we should get going to your house now,” he gazes at you with sly, dilated eyes. “maybe we can finish what we started and show our love for one another in more ways than one.”

you punch his chest, trying very hard to suppress your blush. 

“snacks and movies first! then we’ll see, only if you’re a good boy though.” you smirk.

“i’m a snack myself, baby. and you are too.” he purrs.

you laugh hysterically at what was supposed to be a suggestive joke. daishou would always be your cheesy dork underneath his tough exterior and you were loving it.

[hotsayce]

The Lake

NCT fanfic - 3.4k - Gender Neutral- A group of friends go to their nearby lake to hang out:)

Warnings: Drowning is mentioned but don't worry! No one actually drowns, the narrator just can't swim and is scared. Sex is also mentioned. Alcohol.

Author's Note: This is written in first person but the narrator is referred to as Y/N. Johnny and Ten aren't THAT important in the story, it's mostly the narrator and Mark.

~~~

It was almost time.

My friends and I were getting ready to go to the lake for a celebration.

Though the only thing worth celebrating was that Mark was finally graduating high school. He was the baby of our group. Ten and I were both 20, Johnny was 22 and Mark was just 18. We all started being friends in high school, I met Ten in dance class and Johnny in chorus my freshman year. We adopted Mark during my junior year though. We noticed some random kid sitting alone at lunch most every day. Nothing wrong with that, I myself sat alone sometimes during my freshman year. But this was different. Another group of kids began to sit with him, we thought he finally found his crowd. Until one week, Mark's little table was empty. We just assumed he was sick or something, until it lasted the whole week. We didn't have any classes with him and we had never spoken to him so there was no way to know what happened. The next Monday, Johnny just so happened to stop by the bathroom during lunch and saw poor Mark sitting on the (disgusting) bathroom floor, crying and eating alone. Then he brought him to sit with us. The rest is history.

Not really, I've never had a history class with any of them.

But that brings us to tonight, I am just about to open the door to leave my dorm room when my roommate asks, "Where are you going?"

Dangn't. I had been trying my best not to wake them up but I failed. Like always.

"Just out with some friends." I answer in the most calm way possible.

Adrian isn’t a snitch or anything, I just don’t want them knowing my business. We were never really that close.

"Okay," They roll back over in their bunkbed, facing the wall.

I almost slip out of the door when they ask, "What time will you be back?"

"Before 5."

They roll over again. "Okay, just be more quiet when you sneak back in please."

They must be referring to the time I came in at 6 A.M. and my morning alarm started blaring. I kept trying to push the off button but my screen was too cracked for me to press it. They'll never let me live that down.

I slip out of the door and am on my way to the bathroom. I don’t need to think of a plan to get out or anything, my Resident Advisor doesn’t care if we leave during the night. Ten wouldn't have such an easy time though, I hear the advisor at his dorm is more strict.

I finally step outside of my building only to notice that Ten beat me here.

"How'd you get past your RA?"

He laughs. "It's easy to reason with someone you've slept with."

"Gross." I shove him to the side. Not gross, quite cool actually. I was very jealous. Ten's RA was drop dead gorgeous and the amount of times I asked him if I could sleep over to see if they'd stop by his room is far too many to count.

We were on our way to Johnny's place to go chill at the lake behind his house. He went to the same college as Ten and I but he lived at home with his parents. I would too if they were as loaded as his family, not to mention they live pretty close to school. A walk was only 35 minutes away which never seemed like much if you walked with other people.

Walking to Johnny's was normally silent when I went by myself but that was never the case with Ten. He always had some cool college story to tell, we were both juniors but his experience seemed much more interesting that mine. Whether he was spilling gossip about the dance team or who he'd been flirting with during his most recent seminar, it was always something eventful.

"What college do you think Mark will choose?" Ten asks.

Woah. That's a much different direction from where he normally goes.

"Why such a somber question to start the night? (morning actually) I wanna know if anything new has happened between Veronica and Tamika?" I try changing the subject. Veronica and Tamika were two girls in his dance class who had supposedly been best friends since their freshman year. Everyone knew they liked each other but neither of them had ever asked the other out.

"Seriously Y/N. What if he doesn't come to our school?"

"Well," I normally try not to think about what would happen if Mark left the country for college. "Then we'll video chat with him every week and text him all the time and he'll come home each summer."

Ten doesn’t look at me but I know that this is eating him up.

It'd been eating all of us up. Johnny, Ten, and I had all gone to GC State for our own separate reasons and we were hoping Mark would too but he had his eyes set on an arts school in Vancouver. He was born in Canada so it would mean so much to him to move back there for college but he didn't want to leave his friends (us).

"I just don't want us to split up. We were gonna be his older college buddies." It was dark out but I could still see the frown on Ten's face.

I put my arm around his shoulder. "He still has about a month left, we don't know what he's going to pick. And whichever school he does choose, we'll support him."

Ten sighs. "I guess your right. We don't where he'll go yet but we have to be happy for him."

I nod my head and continue walking beside him.

"Oh and Ica-Ika is never gonna work out." 'Ica-Ika' was a cute ship name Ten and I made for Veronica and Tamika. "Imagine being a senior in college and still being too nervous to confess to your crush."

I raise my eyebrow at him. "You're one to talk."

"Look. I've got one more year. Quit rushing me."

I laugh at Ten. He's had a crush on Johnny since high school but has never told him. At this rate he never will.

~~~

We finally arrive at Johnny's house. He has that type of house that you have to drive down to since it's off by itself. The three story ones with the huge yards. The house where everybody wants to be and where all the parties were. Not to mention the lake in the back. I was surprised when I found out that Johnny was an only child. Why would their family need such a big house if there were just 3 of them? But it's not my place to judge what other people do with their hard earned money.

Johnny's car is the only one in the driveway so his parents aren't home. Ten and I don't bother walking through the front door, we walk straight to the back and find Mark sitting in a lawn chair and Johnny standing right beside him.

Johnny had always taken a liking to Mark ever since he found him in the bathroom. Not in the cliché high school relationship type of way though, Johnny was not a creepy senior guy on the varsity football team and Mark was not an innocent freshman girl who had 'developed' over the summer. They were 4 years apart but the way they act, you'd think they were the exact same age. Except they don't look the same age. Johnny was tall (a giant really) with long brown hair. Between his extroverted personality and his beefy arms, he had all the girls, guys, and honestly anyone with eyes after him. Mark was... not like Johnny. He was much smaller with short black hair and I'm sure people would be after him if he wasn't so darn oblivious to everyone who wants him. It's like he was waiting for someone special to come along and ask him out but who knows when that will happen?

"You're finally here!" Johnny turned at the sound of our footsteps and came up to hug us. He always gave great hugs.

"Now the party can start!" I say while Ten and Johnny hug for a second too long.

Mark gets up to hug us as well and we make our way to the lake, although he lingers to walk beside me instead of with Johnny and Ten.

~~~

"Have you decided which college you're going to yet?" I glare at Ten from my chair and Johnny does the same.

"You haven't even gotten him to drink yet and you're already asking him important questions? What am I teaching you Ten?" Johnny takes another swig of his own glass of wine. He's the only person who would bring fancy glasses and expensive wine to hang out at the lake with his friends at 3 A.M.

"I can't drink yet Johnny." Mark says.

Johnny winks at him. "Riiight."

I laugh as I drink from my own glass. "There's no rush in your decision Mark. We'll be happy with whatever you choose."

Everyone was silent as we all thought about what Mark's decision would be. Our guess was as good as his.

"C'mon guys no being sad at our celebration." Johnny jumps up from his seat. "To the lake!"

He begins walking to the lake, Ten close on his heels cheering. I get up from my seat to follow them but notice Mark still sulking in his chair. He must still be thinking about college. No doubt he has exams soon, he has this big decision to add on top of it all.

I walk over to Mark and grab his hand, motioning for him to walk with us.

When we get to the lake, the rest of the guys rid themselves of their shirts while Mark keeps his on. I opt to keep my shirt on as well, I don't plan on swimming today.

"You're not gonna swim?" Mark takes his shoes off, preparing to get in the water.

"No, not today." I sit down on the dock and stick my feet in the cool water.

Instead of getting in the water like Ten and Johnny, Mark sits down beside me. "I won't swim either then."

There's no use in telling him to go ahead and swim. He hates for any one of us to be left out so he'll stay with me no matter how much I protest.

The sadness in Mark's eyes from earlier disappears once he looks at the lake. His expression when he looks at the water makes it seem like he's never seen a lake like this before. He's always loved coming here. Johnny would sometimes pick him up after school when he had the time so they could just sit here at the lake and talk about anything. It was like his safe place. He wouldn't have the lake in Vancouver.

"Were you being serious earlier?" The reflection of the moon is still in his eyes but the sadness is back.

"Serious about what?" I say as I flick my feet in the water.

"When you guys said you'd support me. No matter what college I go to. You won't leave like-"

"No Mark," I stop him before he can even finish. "We won't leave you. It doesn't matter how far we are, we'll always be friends okay?"

He doesn't say anything but I know he understands. Ever since those kids ditched him in high school, he's had trust issues about people leaving him. There were so many people that tried to be friends with him but he always pushed them away because he thought they'd do the same. Sure he talks to some people at school, but his only real friends are all in college. I can't imagine how lonely that must feel.

I try to lighten the mood. "Hey Buddy," I say jokingly.

"Oh no, not buddy."

I place my arms around Mark's shoulders. "You know you're getting older and your life is changing..."

He then rips my arm from his shoulder laughing, "What is this?"

I grab his arm once again. "I'm just trying to tell you about college because you're a growing boy."

"Are you trying to give me the talk? Because I've had it before."

I turn and face him. "You've had sex before?!"

"What no! I meant the talk!"

I sigh out of relief. "Phew. Good. I couldn't believe you had never told me."

We both laugh until it gets quiet.

"You never told me whether you've had sex before."

He was not wrong. Johnny and Ten talked about their 'partners' all the time but I've never mentioned it because I've never been with anyone like that. I've always been waiting for the right time but it was really just me being cautious and refusing to have my first time in a cramped college dorm. No one (near my age) had caught my interest and, unfortunately, Johnny never volunteered so I've just been saving myself up I guess.

"That is correct." I don't know what Mark is getting at but I just keep letting him talk.

"Well do you thin-"

Before he can finish his sentence, I feel a splash of water hit me. Ten and Johnny float in the water in front of us with two big grins on their faces.

"Hey spoilsports, come swim with us." Johnny hits us with another splash and Mark jumps in to go play with them. Thank God. I was not about to let Mark down and tell him that I won't have sex with him during his last year of high school. There is nothing wrong with Mark except for how he is basically still a child and as (or even more) inexperienced as I am.

The guys stay near my area so I can still splash them from sitting down. Except it's mostly them cheating because whenever I throw water at them, they just duck under the surface whereas I have to stay up here and get wet.

By the time we're done, I'm soaking wet and Ten and Johnny have swam out again. Mark almost joins them but swims back to me.

"How come you aren't swimming with us?"

The word 'swim' is incorrect in this situation. He knows I can't swim. Normally, when we go to the lake, I lazy around in a floatie but I just don't feel like it right now.

"Mark, you know I can't swim."

"Well yeah," He flips his hair back and unintentionally sprays me with more water. "But we all can."

I'm sorry. I think he's failed to understand the concept of 'me not being able to swim = me drowning.'

Before I can inform him of that, Johnny and Ten come swimming towards us with a weird look in their eyes. When they get up on the dock, they shake their hair out as well, getting me wet again and then Johnny grabs Ten's hand and begins leading him back to the house.

"Where are you two going?" I question and they just giggle.

"Johnny wants to show me his room." Ten smiles up at the older and they're still walking away from us.

Mark calls out after them, "But we've all already seen his room!" They keep laughing, hand in hand, walking back to the house to do who knows what except we all know exactly what they're doing and I curse them in my head for setting up such a venereal tone in the air.

"What are they doing?" Mark looks up at me with the most oblivious look in his eyes.

"Sex."

"Gross."

Again, not gross. Very jealous.

I wish the moonlight and calm lake were not making the environment so romantic right now. Not to mention the text from Ten that says, 'Don't bother us. Go bang Mark :)'

Although that sounds very tempting, I will not be a senior in high school's, first time. Or let him be my first time.

"I can hold you if you're still afraid of swimming." Mark's quiet voice interrupts my thoughts.

"What?"

"We were talking about swimming earlier. If you're okay with it, I can just hold you in the water. I won't let go."

I get another text from Ten. 'Don't see any banging yet :(' I look up to the window of Johnny's bedroom and see a silhouette of them standing there. Mark waves at them and I can't see that far but I can tell that they're smiling before they close the curtain.

I put my phone away and respond to Mark. "It's really okay. You don't have to do that."

He moves from leaning on the dock beside me to being right in front of me, laying his hands on my knees.

"I pinky promise you'll be safe. Please swim with me."

Once again, the reflection of the moon does me dirty, illuminating the sincerity in Mark's eyes. I can't say no. (I absolutely could but I won't)

I take a deep breath. "Okay." I don't bother removing my shirt since he didn't either. Mark places his hands lightly around my waist and begins pulling me down into the water.

"Don't drop me." I say. I've done this before but with Johnny and he's much bigger and stronger than Mark so I can't say that I'm not a little worried he won't be able to carry me.

Mark just smiles and pulls me down until I'm no longer on the dock.

My first instinct is to immediately flail because I believe I will sink all the way to the bottom of the lake but Mark's grip on me tightens, obviously noticing how my body tensed up when I got into the water.

"I got you." He doesn't let me go as promised and we stay close to the dock, my back against the wood.

"See. All safe."

Being in the water isn't as scary as I thought it would be. I'm glad Mark is here with me. And I'm glad that we didn't leave the dock, giving me the option to change my mind and climb back up if I want to.

"What are you thinking?" He asks.

I haven't spoken since I got in the water. Maybe it's the calmness of the lake itself or the fact that Mark is holding me, but I can't think of anything to say.

"Nothing really." I feel the urge to wrap my legs around Mark's waist but I fight against it.

"Well I'm thinking of us."

I smile, staring at the moon. "Yeah. I really enjoy hanging out at the lake with you guys every once in a while.

"No Y/N." I look over at him. "I mean us. This."

I shake my head. There's always been something between us but it was so minute that we never spoke of it. "There is no this Mark. You know that. We both know that."

"Do we really?"

The water around us seems so still. The only movement is from our too close together chests, rising and falling at the same time. My eyes drift to his lips and I can't help but wonder how they would feel against my own.

Mark notices me staring, closes his eyes, and leans in but right when our lips almost touch, I turn my head to the side. His lips graze my cheek which is better than nothing I suppose. As much as my heart wants to, I cannot kiss him and add on to the already long list of reasons he would rather stay here than go to Vancouver. A kiss would only hold him back even more and I know how much he wants to leave.

"I'm sorry Mark." I lean my head into the nook of his neck hoping he won't push me away after what I just did. I don't want this to be awkward but I tighten my grip on his shoulders, not wanting to rid myself of his touch just yet.

"I understand." I want him to pull my face back up and tell me all the thoughts he's had about us. I want him to try to kiss me again, and this time I may kiss him right back. But he doesn't. Instead, his hold on my waist never loosens or falters even though I know his arms and whole body must be tired from swimming for so long.

I hope what we have won't falter either.

~~~

Sometimes when Mark calls me and I hear everything he's been doing and everyone he's been talking to, I wish I would've kissed him back at the lake. The people in Vancouver sound really pretty. And he always sounds really happy. What would've changed if I did kiss him? Maybe he would have went to college here and then we could be a cute couple like Ten and Johnny. But there's no telling what would happen. I just know that I'll always have a best friend halfway across the world.

But hey, there's always summer break.