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discotreque · 4 years ago

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Disco 3.08: The Sanctuary

This week IRL was a real mixed bag for me: a lot of messy and barely-manageable anxiety about my health, my day job, and uhhhh *gestures outside*—but also I’ve recently fallen in love (from a responsible social distance)—so it’s been equal parts re-writing professional emails to edit the panic attack out of my tone and gazing dreamily at Discord notifications with cartoon hearts in my eyes. It feels like my life is going to hell in the cutest, coziest handbasket—which is to say that Michael Burnham could not possibly feel like a more relatable character to me right now.

I continue to have issues with the writing at a strange medium-level—somewhere between micro, where the dialogue and characters are really good, and macro, where I’m digging the pace of the overall season, it almost feels like something went wrong in the assembly process, and the script ended up a little bit less than the sum of its perfectly good parts. Again.

But that’s such vague criticism as to be nearly meaningless, and it’s hardly the most interesting level to spend time on anyway. If I zoom out, the parallel season arcs of “getting used to the future” and “the mystery of the Burn” are hanging together wayyyyy better than the Red Angel saga did last year.

And if I zoom in? This episode was funny as shit, wtf.

The discourse re: Tilly these past couple of weeks has been bullshit, and I have a whole angry thing to say about it—but honestly, if you can’t appreciate Doug Jones and Mary Wiseman as a comedic duo, I’m not really mad: mostly I pity the lack of joy in your heart.

Everyone on this show is so funny. Doug’s prissy little delivery absolutely slaughters me (“Execute!...?”), Mary will make a face sometimes that has me screaming laughter into my hands, and I’ve gone on before—and will again—about Sonequa Martin-Green’s egregiously underrated comedy chops.

They were obviously casting for folks w/ jokes in the new season too: David Ajada is no slouch in the dry-delivery or the goofy-face department; his energy and chemistry with Sonequa are as suited to comedy as they are to romance (i.e. extremely 🥵). Anthony Rapp and Wilson Cruz we knew about, but Blu del Barrio—a certified tiny baby!!!—holds their own and lands every smartass whiz-kid one-liner just on the right side of “too precious to stand.” (I almost always at least chuckle, and never roll my eyes, and for a “teen genius” character that’s literally as good as it gets.) And living legend Michelle Yeoh is clearly having the time of her life, omfg.

Disco’s not funny-funny like Lower Decks, but they do funny-on-purpose better than any live-action Trek except maybe DS9. They have such a deep comedic bench they don’t even need Tig Notaro—they have her on just to flex, I presume.

(I don’t know if I’m predicting, per se, that Strange New Worlds—with Rebecca Romjin’s deadpan, Anson Mount’s twinkly eyes, and Ethan Peck’s twinkly-eyed deadpan—is going to have a tone somewhere between Disco S3 and LwD—but I mean... it kinda has to, right? And you know they kept the number for Rainn Wilson’s agent.)

***

At the start of this episode, I was “sure, why the fuck not” about First Officer Tilly; by the end, I was completely on board. And to everyone who’s still wringing their hands about “the real military” this (always from people who have no idea how actual militaries work, lol) and “Lt. Nilsson” that (she... already has a job on the ship? And no character traits besides “stoic” and “furrows brow”? Oh, I get it—she’s skinny and blonde)—y’all are kind of embarrassing me.

“Rank” and “position” (and “seniority” and “day-to-day duties”...) aren’t the same thing, in Star Trek or any IRL military. Yes, the permanent first officers of normal-duty Starfleet ships we’ve seen have usually been command-division officers with the rank of Commander—but not always. Star Trek: Discovery-A, if you will, is a unique show about a unique ship in a unique situation: “B-b-but that’s not how they do it on Star Trek!!!” isn’t a legitimate criticism, not of this—it’s the mournful cry of an entitled pissbaby who isn’t having their hand held all the way to the fireworks factory.

Here’s what an argument supported by the text of the first 37 episodes of Star Trek: Discovery actually looks like: Sylvia Tilly is nervous and lacks self-confidence, but once she gets over herself—which she can do pretty much instantly in a crisis, even when hilariously intoxicated—she is competent as hell. In lower-stakes situations, without intense pressure to focus her attention, she sometimes gets sidetracked by her own insecurities; at her best, she channels that anxious energy into ambition, drive, and being scrupulously organized.

The only person Tilly doesn’t always get along with is Stamets, and even Stamets’s husband thinks he’s an asshole. Since Season 1, we’ve seen her easily socializing with the rest of the crew, who seem to universally adore her. And she’s also happy to leave her social comfort zone at a moment’s notice: she aligned herself with Ash Tyler (miss you, Shazad!) when no one else would, and she instantly befriended Po even when Po was in Weird Feral Alien Princess mode and Tilly had salad in her hair. She doesn’t like confrontation, but she’s brave enough to initiate it anyway if she needs to, and she’s compassionate with other people’s feelings while still setting firm boundaries. (Her graceful dodge of Rhys’s tipsy kiss at the party in 1.07 lives rent-free in my head to this day.)

No, Tilly didn’t finish the Command Training Program—but she started it, which is almost certainly more command training than any of the lieutenants whose names we know, all of whom are Ops or Science personnel with, presumably, specialized non-command training of their own. The same could be assumed for any unseen ranking officers on this science ship with an entirely volunteer skeleton crew.

And seriously, about Nilsson: she’s my #3 background bae after Octopus Head and the lady on Pike’s Enterprise with the spiky red face, but her job is Spore Drive Ops, not personnel. If she’s running after Saru with a holo-clipboard, who’s going to look serious and push holo-buttons when there’s a Black Alert? *drops holo-mic* Drumhead!

***

The stuff on Kwejian, though. Ooof. Ol’ Two-Takes Frakes directed this one, and between the kinetic energy he always adds to the camera and the scintillating performances he evokes, things stayed moving so briskly I almost didn’t notice Book’s entire “homeworld” was a rental house outside Vancouver, a couple acres of adjacent woods, and like six or seven people.

It’s a hot mess in retrospect, but in the moment it gave us the intensity of Book and Kyheem trying to hurt each other’s feelings by poking at 15-year-old wounds, which as a sibling with complicated sibling relationships I found both funny and devastating—not to mention Frakes directing “shaky bridge” explosion falls at an obvious intensity of “10” on an outdoor location shoot. It falls apart at the slightest scrutiny, but I can’t lie, on first viewing I was totally along for the ride.

***

I’m dying to see where this Georgiou thing goes. It doesn’t feel like a stretch to assume she got Cronenberg’d a couple weeks ago, probably to get her under the thumb of this century’s Section 31, and that her arc is going to take Michelle Yeoh off this show in a way that sets up the S31 show. But also, I don’t care so much whether I’m right, I just want to watch Michelle Yeoh—and Sonequa Martin-Green, and also David Cronenberg tbh, and bring back Shazad Latif while you’re at it—get wherever they’re going.

It’s also a fun and interesting direction to take the comically-evil comic relief character and show that her performative moustache-twirling is partly habit and partly a transparent emotional defence against very real fear and vulnerability. We’re all products of our circumstances, and a radical enough change in circumstances can afford almost anyone at least the opportunity to change. I can’t say Emperor Georgiou would have been my first choice of protagonist for that storyline, but it’s not like Michelle Yeoh’s not going to fuckin’ crush it.

***

Miscellany:

So the Burn had an origin point, and now that point is broadcasting a signal that’s somehow both a haunting melody that everyone seems to know—but no one can remember learning—and a Federation distress signal. What the fuck, y’all. I have full-body goosebumps just typing that.

Saru workshopping his own captainly catchphrase with the aid of Tilly’s extreme sincerity and organizational skills is probably the funniest thing that’s ever happened on this show—followed closely by the uncomfortably lingering reaction shots when he’s trying them out on the bridge 😂 (And omg please give Rhys and Bryce the dumbass buddy-comedy C-plots they deserve next season, I beg you.)

I would do a little “prop watch” entry on those Kwejianian(?) bolt-throwing rifles, but I’d have to stop drooling over them first. “Curvy polished hardwood” seems to be New Trek shorthand for “extra sleek and futuristic” (cf. the bridge of the USS Titan in the LwD finale), and I have to say: I am fully into it.

Restating my prediction that we will not see Detmer and Owosekun get together this season, because we will find out that they’ve been together for ages. Everyone knew—Pike even knew!—it just never came up in front of the audience before. That would be one of the cutest ways to do it imho, and one of the funniest too, especially as a meta-joke about how much character development didn’t happen in the first two seasons. (That said, if we get to see their first kiss, I will be screaming with incoherent joy for days, so this is a real win-win for me.)

Speaking of cute: IRL spouses Mary Wiseman and Noah Averbach-Katz, both Julliard-trained actors (it’s where they met!), can’t quite hide their chemistry in the scenes between Tilly and Ryn. I loved seeing Tilly be a hardass when Ryn was rude to the captain, but that sparkle in her eyes didn’t quite match the context <3

And speaking of people who are VERY OBVIOUSLY IN LOVE: that last scene with Book and Michael, and his nervous little “yeah, I said it” eyebrow lift, and her irrepressible giggle as she’s walking away... it was almost too much. Especially right after the queer-family scenes with Stamets and Culber and Adira. My poor heart is going through a lot lately, and I guess I’m just glad Season 3’s emotional intensity is melting it with soft sweet scenes like that instead of kicking it down repeated flights of stairs like Season 1.

***

Next week: everyone stops caring about the Burn and starts trying to solve an even more important mystery—why is this (holographic) dude wearing an early-2360s uniform with an early-2370s combadge?

#star trek discovery #disco spoilers #star trek discovery spoilers #amy's episode notes

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taeyongbestboi · 4 years ago

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Happy Anniversary to our Candle Lights,

☆ NCT DREAM ☆

I’ve never fell for a group this much before. The way I love them guys felt different from the other groups I stan / ever stanned. I just feel like I’m being pulled by their attraction, wheter I like it or not. In short, I just cant help to love NCT DREAM. Period.

They’ve became my source of happiness in a short time. I’ve only learn about them to a certain depth ever since covid lockdown. And I didn’t regret it for even a bit. Not at all. They’ve taught me stuffs while I enjoy their music and contents. I’m highly inspired by them, by every single one of them.

Renjun, I’ve been drowning on his attraction and have been simping on him since the day he dropped the Fools cover. That boy is something else. Other than his voice and humor, I enjoyed his quotes of wise words the most.

Jeno, gosh I’m highly amazed by his build you know? Not in an awkward way, of course. It’s just I felt motivated everytime I look at him. He’s talented, handsome, cute, and boy his body’s proportion is out of this world.

Haechan? I could rant all year about this boy. He’s the cutest, honey-dripped-skin, most hardworking guy I know. Everyone in the kpop industry’s hardworking indeed, but this guy’s a part of 2 units of his group and I don’t have to mention how hard he’s been working since last year right? He’s one of NCT’s main moodmaker, everything about him screams preciousness.

Jaemin. OKAY, we all know that this boy is a giant fluffball of happiness but I haven’t really grasped that fact until recently. The way he looks at sijeunies??? And on the NCT Life Dream in Wonderland’s behind, where he feeds the rabbits??? Omg this guys is aksjsuxjshud idek anymore. I aspire to be like him, to love people who loves me so dearly like him. How soft his heart is and how I wish to protect him at any cost.

This boy named Chenle is the definition of genius. I learnt from NCT Life (Dream), that boy sure is competitive! He loooooveeeesss challenges like it’s his toy or playground. I’m stunned by this boy’s ability to knock down obstacles and challenges before him.

Jisung. Everyone’s (including me ofc) obsessed with this boy’s dance skills. And God, his skills aren’t dissappointing. I may not be a fan from the beginning but I see him grow through videos and pictures and I can’t help but feel proud of him.

And one more member, Mark. I didn’t get to experience Mark as a Dream member era but I think I have to include him ok this post as they’ve been preparing us a surprise of ot7 Dream /cries/. I may not be familiar with Mark as a Dream member, but Dreamies without him is like a puzzle missing its one last piece. Mark is Dream’s missing puzzle piece and they’ll reunite in a blink, before we even know it.

NCT Dream’s becoming a part of my happiness now. I’m very grateful of their existence, of their music, talents, personalities and friendship that highly inspires me. Thank you for existing, little brothers ♡ please always be happy!

시즈니s💚

Bonus: 2 of the Dreamies eyes I drew. I haven’t been practicing my drawing skills for a long time now and I can see that my drawings are worsen, so I decided to do a quick doodle of the Dreamies eyes but they’re nowhere near similar and I just hate it lmao. I gave up on Haechan’s :/ maybe I’ll redo it some other time.

(Be honest, Renjun looks like Bambam and Jeno somehow looks like Yugyeom right? Which group did I drew oml)

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carlyfrombleachers · 4 years ago

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Liveblogging of TS6 (reputation)

Okay. Let me preface this by saying I don’t like Taylor Swift. I think she’s a boring artist, who brings close to nothing to the table. The reason I’m even listening to Reputation is because I keep getting recommended an interview of Jack Antonoff where he talks about New Year’s Day (which is a song on Reputation) and I really want to watch that but I also want to know what the fuck he’s talking about. So here we are. Don’t expect more stuff like this from me. I expect this to be just a one-off thing. Swifties, don’t fucking come after me or I will cry. The only other TS album I listened to was Lover, and I thought it was trash. Absolute garbage. And apparently this one is worse than Lover. I don’t know if I’ll regret this.

Let’s begin, I guess.

...Ready For It?

I keep thinking of that one voice clip from the Hannah Montana intro (?) where you faintly hear a girl say “are you ready for it?” and that’s my first impression just by looking at the title.

I’m hitting ‘play’ right now.

Oh nevermind, I forgot to pay Deezer this month. YouTube it is.

Hey look, Ajay is in my recommended. Queen of reactions.

Help what is this

rockstar taylor??

what the fuck is up with the beat

chorus felt weak. this is my first opinion im not done with the track

i looked at the music video for 3 seconds and i saw a horse bye

i was distracted by the music video help i dont like this

since i looked at the music video for just a lil while i should say it looks weird. it is weird in a bad way it looks like some knockoff cyberpunk thing.

why didnt she just name this “Are You Ready For It?”

I’m... not particularly blown away by this track. It’s fine. I wouldn’t bop to it but I wouldn’t object to it playing somewhere. It’s like... it’s decent.

End Game (ft. Ed Sheeran, Future)

I don’t know who Future is.

she said reputation haha thats the name of the album

ok future is a rapper i dont listen to rap thats why i dont know him

after listening to lover i cant believe this is the same woman this is so weird

not looking forward to the ed sheeran part

“i wanna be your end game” this wasnt really what i was expecting

fuck off ed sheeran (i just reached his part)

according to some tabloid lady gaga mistook ed sheeran for a waiter? i would do the same thing if i saw this redhead fuckface on the street as well lol

“big reputation, big reputation, you and me got a big reputation” so deep!!!

I guess I should take this time to-- is she rapping?

Sorry, I got distracted. I don’t think every song needs to be this huge deep piece that must be deeply analyzed for centuries, but I do expect some interesting message or context for a track at least. If it sounds good, I’d also give it a pass.

This one? This was boring. I would not verbally object to this playing close to me, I would just have a grossed out look on my face during the chorus.

I Did Something Bad

I keep reading the title in Akasaka Sad’s tune. You know the part where Rina says “A-ka-sa-ka sad, I’m a sucker”? I keep thinking “I did-I did something bad”. I don’t expect it to be like that.

“i never trust a narcissist but they love me” taylor talks about her fanbase

sorry to drag swifties publicly but i will forever take an opportunity to drag a swiftie

predictable antithesis use there with “i did something bad so why does it feel so good” but okay

why was taylor branded a snake again? she pretended it was “””gone””” with lover but like. it’s weird. its not like she punched kanye on stage in 2008 or something. i dont care enough to search for evidence that taylor is a snake so lol go off i guess

dont enjoy the post-chorus part where she’s like drddddddd dddddddd it feels so distracting the gunshots were more than enough

Yeah, this one was fine. My favorite up to this point, I think.

Don’t Blame Me

lol she said “dont blame me” then it buffered bye

i was showering for the past 25 minutes hello i was listening to track 10 and melodrama

i am enjoying this one kinda

“dont blame me love made me crazy” haha wait until you find out what your next era is

“i once was poison ivy now im your daisy” this is a pretty good line honestly

obligatory katy flop moment: haha taylor could hit the high notes in daisy

this sounds like a country song especially in the chorus i dont know what to really make of it

“loooord save me” this is why your female fans are called horse girls

This was... pretty good. The chorus weirds me out still, but it had its good moments. It was nice.

Delicate

stop saying reputation in the reputation album

this autotune voice bits of hers are so distracting

i say as i listen to how i’m feeling now by charli xcx

yes i did just roast myself. gotta leave the swifties with nothing

god the music video for this track has 400m views this woman is making my faves look like indie stars LOL

I keep getting distracted because this song is boring. It’s... okay. I guess. The music video was pretty cute. Nothing caught my attention in the track, but it sounds like gym music. It would play on a gym owned by a 30-something white woman during the yoga classes and you know it.

Look What You Made Me Do

We’ve all heard this song. I’m gonna listen to it and then be done with it.

I guess I’ll just watch the music video.

ONE BILLION VIEWS????????????

Okay. I watched the music video.

Really? All the fem guys dancing with her?

I’m not going to sit here and be like “fem guys are BAD and should all die and never be represented” because… lol. But it is kind of annoying how it was literally just fem guys dancing with her and doing all those faces because you KNOW she was looking for the impressionable gays to go “omg taylor progressive!!!!” and go talk about it on social media.

But am I saying that because I don’t like Taylor? Yes. But that doesn’t make my point less valid.

The music video was pretty good, the production on this track is really good (thank you Jack Antonoff xx) and the track itself is good. Not outstanding or perfect or a serve, it’s good.

Also the ending with all her previous eras? That was cool. The uncool part is most of the “look how rich I am” parts… because we all know you’re rich, Taylor. Nice SFX.

So It Goes…

i got an ad whyyyyyyy

fuck this shit i cant keep up with what shes saying im pulling genius out for this one

this is not lyrically deep i can tell already from genius

im not a fan of love songs i already have CRJ to cover that base and Lorde covers breakup songs I guess and this song is just. boring. lol

Nothing really shocking or noteworthy here, it’s just.. okay.

Gorgeous

I got another ad FUCK

i got a boss baby ad help

god boss baby really was something huh i completely forgot about that

why am i talking about boss baby

okay. reputation

why did a baby say gorgeous

HELP i am so disappointed this is the one track with the lyric video and god this is disappointing

i saw this and i was like “oh shit shes gonna talk about how its gonna be gorgeous when u die” or smth and

lol. LOL. the depth is nonexistent and the bar is in hell

who wrote this? you lied

This song is so boring, LOL. I expected so much from it and was instantly disappointed when the pre-chorus hit. You had everything on your plate and you ate the plate itself. Girl. What the hell. Why. You could’ve given us an anthem about hating your man, and you took the easy route.

Getaway Car

im intrigued

okay im listening and this sounds very jack antonoff? the shotgun thing made me immediately go o_o

it felt a bit weak at the end but at the start i was enjoying it quite a lot… i think this is my fave

I enjoyed this one quite a lot :) It was pretty good but not an amazing masterpiece. It was better than LWTMMD and that’s all I have to say.

King Of My Heart

sounds boring haha

taylor keeps putting these trap beats in things sister youre not lorde LOL

yeah this is kinda boring

WAIT A MINUTE NEW YEARS DAY IS THE LAST TRACK???? IM GONNA HAVE TO STICK UNTIL THE END oh my god please no

i dont. i .. i knew this would be happening but i didnt expect it to be the last one

i guess the timing is accurate ha ha ha ha

i just heard ariana grande

I keep hearing Ariana Grande on this track. Is that good? I don’t know.

Dancing With Our Hands Tied

why are there so many songs in this fucking album

the beat is.. okay. it is catchy

oh i like this i think. its pretty nice

the chorus is nice. yes. i do kind of enjoy this

Yeah, I liked this one. Pretty good writing, and it sounds great.

Dress

wtf is this song why is it so horny

horny taylor is weird stop being horny please

this song is okay i would not revisit it because its just weird. do not like this!!!

when carly rae jepsen says slide on through my window it is funny but when taylor sings i bought this dress so you could take it off i die

oh that second of silence was really good

[looks at the producer] [it’s jack antonoff] :)

This song weirds me out. I don’t like it. It had its moments production-wise but it was... weird.

This Is Why We Can’t Have Nice Things

I expect good things from this. With a title like that? Give me a bop.

Currently not being a bop.

Okay, it was cute. Nothing amazing. Just… fine. Cute attempt.

oh i liked the spoken part thats what i expected from this song

Call It What You Want

this is about genitalia this is my prediction

It was not about genitalia.

This song is pretty good if you remove all the mentions to her lover and her man and her baby, which are all the same person, I guess.

This is disappointing.

JACK ANTONOFF BACKING VOCALS

I LOVE YOU JACK

umm anyways

OH HE DID IT AGAIN IM GONNA CRY i love this man

I expected so much from this track and the chorus just… disappointed me.

JACK!!! I LOVE YOU!!!! KEEP SINGING!!!!!

i love this man im gonna cry

The highlight of this song is the part where Jack Antonoff sings.

New Year’s Day

wow the reason why im doing this shit

look at him. :)

this song was cute. nothing special. just cute. very okay.

just. okay. yeah. pretty fine.

nothing special.

Final Thoughts On The Album

It was better than Lover.

I expected this to be a concept album, all about the drama she’s gotten into? But it was just boring love songs with some extra flair. I expected great things from this album, having only heard LWYMMD from it before this. A concept album that’s just an answer/clapback to everyone’s who wronged her à la Yellow Flicker Beat (I know it’s for a movie but that song slaps and I don’t know a thing about Hunger Games) would’ve been PERFECT but it was just... love songs. I need Taylor to stop singing about love and start serving us big meals.

I would not like to revisit this. Like, 5/10. It could’ve been a lot better, but it wasn’t because you’re too afraid to cross some lines, Taylor.

Final Ranking:

Dancing With Our Hands Tied

Getaway Car

Look What You Made Me Do

I Did Something Bad

Don’t Blame Me

New Year’s Day

Call It What You Want

...Ready For It?

This Is Why We Can’t Have Nice Things

So It Goes...

End Game (feat. Ed Sheeran, Future)

Dress

Delicate

King Of My Heart

Gorgeous

taylor flop stream gone now

#taylor swift #liveblog #liveblogging #reputation #swifties dont kill me thanks #i dont like taylor swift why did i do this #music

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greatfay · 5 years ago

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harry potter for the ask meme because I like... drama

Oh myyyy. Well since they’re books and movies, I’ll do both.

my all-time ultimate fave character:

Dobby. He is noble and kind and sweet and unflinching. And he died a free elf.

a character I didn’t used to like but now do:

Snape. I will honestly vomit on anyone who dares say “Snape did nothing wrong” like oh please. He was a bully, an asshole, an abuser, and a creep, and he did awful things and supported a disgusting ideology and dispensed out violence on behalf of a would-be tyrant, and he managed to do some good in the world because of his own selfish, torturous desires. And his lines are snappy and witty and restrained and prideful, and he’s a fascinating character to read.

a character I used to like but now don’t:

Ron. Growing up, he was the friend I wish I’d had, irascibly friendly and outgoing and fun. But after re-reading the books (multiple times), I can’t help but feel so annoyed with Ron, particularly his inferiority complex and how it becomes other people’s problem, not to mention how insensitive he is and a jerk to others, especially Hermione. And yes, idc that in the actual books when Snape calls Hermione an insufferable know-it-all that Ron defended her; Goblet of Fire comes along and when Hermione gets attacked with acid by one of Rita’s fans, all he can say is “told you not to piss her off” as Hermione cries and runs out of the Great Hall to the Slytherins (and some Ravenclaws) laughing at her. And this is after he completely pretended not to ruin the Yule Ball for her.

a character I’m indifferent about:

Percy Weasley. He never made a great enough impact on me for me to feel his absence when he sided with the Ministry, and his parents’ sour moods didn’t make me care.

a character who deserved better:

Cedric Diggory. Ah, the first death. Goblet of Fire really could’ve used just one brief scene near its end to really tie Harry and Cedric together, establish an actual friendship between them that would’ve made his death a gut punch, or at least reveal something about him that paints him as interesting and also worthy of being a Hogwarts champion. On my first read, I remember feeling hollowed out that a kid could die; but that’s it. He’s just the kid who died, and maybe the simplicity of that should be enough of a tragedy, but this is fiction, particularly fiction involving wizards and chocolate frogs and talking paintings and an author who insists on typing out accents for foreign characters, and I think “realism” is a bad fallback for otherwise good writing. Eschew realism for the narrative gut punch. I should’ve been in love with Cedric when he bit it and instead I thought “a kid died, yikes.”

a ship I’ve never been able to get into:

Harry/Luna. I just can’t ship Luna with anyone who’s so much more grounded than her, just as I can’t ship her with anyone who doesn’t meet her level of unflappable confidence and conviction (a la Neville). This mysterious grandson of Newt Scamander, if he’s anything like Newt, sounds like the ideal guy for her, though it would’ve been hella rad if the grandson was a granddaughter.

a ship I’ve never been able to get over:

Hermione/Viktor. I’m okay with a flame that died out. Just not okay with how intense it was presented in its canon debut, only for it to receive so little mention later, and that we never really knew where Hermione stood on her relationship with the first guy to actually see her pre-Perm.

a cute, low-key ship:

Fred/Angelina. Fred’s “Oy! Go to the ball with me?” and Angelina turning to look at him, appraising him with a lil attitude, and going “Sure” like she doesn’t care but as she turns her head, a smile betrays her happiness, that’s some cute shit.

an unpopular ship but I still enjoyed it:

Apparently, Hermione/Viktor. In any buzzfeed poll or vlog about HP ships, they don’t even get mentioned as if it never happened. Completely non-canon ships get mentioned before the “oh someone can fall in love with Hermione Granger” ship is even thought of. Also Hermione/Neville, because I like the whole “genius girl and her dorky, dimwitted and adoring boyfriend” dynamic. I also think Harry would’ve paired nicely with one of his Quidditch teammates, like Katie Bell.

a ship that was totally wrong and never should have happened:

Remus/Tonks. Remus should’ve been gay, Tonks’ role in the story should’ve been to succeed Moody as “the most badass Auror in Ministry” and become the “new” old guard. It just came out of nowhere, it had just as much “page time” as Bill and Fleur’s relationship and yet theirs was far more convincing and felt more natural despite how distant we are from the characters. Runner-up is probably George and Angelina; it feels weird that Fred and Angelina hooked up and she goes on to marry his identical twin.

my favourite storyline/moment:

Hard to pick, probably every bit of shade McGonagall threw at Umbridge, and the final confrontation between Harry and Voldemort.

a storyline that never should have been written:

Grawp. Everything to do with Grawp made me so uncomfortable. The Remus/Tonks storyline in HBP just seemed to pad on more romance to a book that was already close to saturated with romance. Ron being a jerk to Harry in GOF also really really pissed me off because it seemed so implausible that he could be that dense; it honestly would’ve been interesting if Harry had snuck down in his cloak to spy on whomever put their names in the Goblet, and his absence would’ve strengthened Ron’s doubts.

my first thoughts on the books/movies: Magical wonderful omg I love it all!

my thoughts now: Still warm, still positive, but extremely critical.

#harry potter #Anonymous

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criminalhotch · 6 years ago

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“Mine”~An Ethan Dolan Imagine

Omg I need a full on story about E falling for a thick girl and showing her love!!! That was amazing.

A/N: Now here’s the deal not every curvy girl feels the same way about themselves so the way Y/N is in the story may not apply to you but it’s fiction and I tried my best. I don’t need any more people coming for me today.

Word Count:6,806

Warnings: insecurities about weight, super fluffy! E, fluffy smut, idk what else

Ethan’s POV

Sometimes life just isn’t what it’s cracked up to be. Sometimes my job sucks. I’ll say it. Don’t get me wrong, I love YouTube and I love making videos with Grayson but sometimes it’s so much. It affects my friends, my family, and my relationships if I ever try to have one. Grayson and I are used to the hate and shitty comments but everyone else isn’t. I have to try to shield everyone from the words being spewed across every type of social media from people who have no idea the shit we go through. I feel like I am told how to eat, what to eat, what to wear, who to wear, who to date, and who not to date. No matter what or who I pick I’m always wrong. Half the time being single is easier so I don’t have to protect an innocent girl from the awful comments being thrown at her just because she’s being seen with me.

Now here’s where this is going. There’s a girl that Grayson and I see around LA a lot. She works at one of the outlet malls. She’s drop dead gorgeous. She’s helped Gray and I try on some clothes before. Grayson immediately picked up on my little crush and teased me about it as soon as she was out the vicinity. “You should ask her for like coffee or something, E” he suggested shoving my shoulder. “Gray, she has to know who we are. What if she’s only nice because we’re the Dolan Twins?” I asked. “Well, I guess you live and learn but she seems pretty genuine. When she comes back I’ll act busy and you ask for like coffee or just to go on a date. The worst thing to happen is she will say no. Shoot your shot, Eth” Grayson encouraged. I sighed and tugged my hand through my hair. He was right. Damn you, Gray. Here she comes, her name tag read Y/N. “So it looks like we don’t have those shorts in a large. I could order it online and get it sent to you free of charge” she offered. “Uh, no thanks but I know how you can make it up to me,” I said. “Oh, how’s that?” she asked smiling. “You can make it up to me by joining me for coffee tomorrow?” I suggested. “I think I can make that work, what time?” she asked. “How’s 11 at Urth?” I questioned. “Perfect, I’ll see you then” she smiled as I started to turn towards Grayson. “See, I told you!” Grayson said as he made an “I told you so” face. “I should’ve asked for her number” I muttered. “Get it tomorrow” Gray shrugged. “If I remember!”

The only downside to going to such a public spot like this is I could easily be seen by a fan. Y/N surely isn’t famous and will have no idea how to handle all of this. Not to mention when you think of Los Angeles, she’s not exactly what you picture. She’s different and she’s different in all the right ways. She has beautiful curves that make her hips sway beautifully, her butt (not that I’ve been staring) sits so roundly at the small of her back and her boobs. It’s a miracle she didn’t pop a button in that button up she has to wear to work (A/N: Who are we kidding, we all know E would sneak a few peeks at a good ass when you aren’t looking whether you’re his or not but especially if you are his ;))

It’s 11 the next morning and I am sitting at a table very close to the door to watch for Y/N. Soon enough I see her walking towards the door as I sit and wait for her to enter. “Hello, there. Fancy seeing you here” I joked. “Have you ordered anything?” she asked. “I was waiting on you” I answered. “Well let’s order!” she replied. We ordered our drinks which I paid for much to her dismay. “You didn’t have to do that” she scoffed. “Yes, I know but I wanted to so just let it happen,” I said right as the barista said our names. We grabbed our drinks then sat down at the table I was originally at near the door.

We spent the next hour and a half learning about each other. Who we were, where we came from, what our goals were, and things we felt that we already accomplished. “Ethan?” she asked. “Y/N?” I asked back. “Was this some prank between you and Grayson?” she asked. “What do you mean?” I asked. “Asking me on this coffee date? Was it some prank to prove that anyone would say yes to a Dolan Twin?” she asked as her eyes dropped to the nearly empty drink she fidgeted within her hand. “No, not at all. Can I be honest with you?” I asked and she nodded. “I was scared to even ask you on this date. Grayson convinced me to do it. Why would you think it’s a prank?” I asked her. “Well let’s face it I’m not exactly the poster child for an LA model. My hips are about as wide as my shoulders, my ass looks huge no matter what pants I am wearing, it’s impossible to find a shirt that my boobs don’t look ginormous in. I probably weigh more than you do” she rambled. “Stop rambling, Y/N. I don’t care what size clothes you buy or what number the scale says. I think you’re gorgeous. This wasn’t some bet. I always see you when we go shopping and eventually I got a little crush then I decided to act on it” I explained. “You mean that?” she asked. “Of course, I do” I smiled. Before we left the coffee shop we exchanged numbers and a few days later we went on a dinner date.

I was dropping her back off at her apartment when she asked, “So do you kiss on the first date?” “Well, technically I think this is the second date” I smirked. “Touche” she smiled up at me. I leaned down, my eyes fluttering shut as I began cupping her face gently before I smashed my lips onto hers. We sat in front of her apartment door our tongues battling for dominance and our bodies reacting to each other’s every move. Soon, she worriedly pulled away and spoke up “Ethan”. “Yes?” I smirked. “Ok, don’t give me that look but I think you should go” she suggested and my face sunk. “Why what did I do?” I asked worriedly. “Nothing, I am just worried that if you don’t I won’t have any choice but to jump your bones” she admitted a slight red tint rising on her cheeks. “Did I get you hot and bothered doll?” he asked. She unlocked her apartment then walked in. I tried to follow her but she pushed me. “Go” she instructed. “Aw, c’mon” I teased. “Go, E. I’ll text you later” she promised. “Deal. Goodnight, Y/N” I said as I began walking down the hallway. “Goodnight, Ethan,” she said just below a shout. Well, I think it’s safe to say there will definitely be a third date.

It’s about a month later and Y/N is coming over tonight to have a movie night with Grayson and me. “Have you asked her to be your girlfriend yet E?” Gray asked. “I was thinking about doing it tonight” I admitted. “Good, it’s about time. She’s good for you, bro” Gray replied. “I know but being my girlfriend comes with so much along with it” I explained. “I’m sure she can handle it but if not then we can wait for you guys’ to announce it,” Grayson said. “I’m not just going to ask her that’s boring. We’re the Dolan Twins, we don’t do boring” I said bravely. “Well, what're things she likes?” Gray asked. “She likes animals, stuffed animals, a little bit of romance, movies” I rambled on. “Ethan!” Gray shouted. “Why don’t we go to the mall and you can get her a build a bear of her favorite animal or whichever one you think is best. When you chose the noise you can do a personalized one. Then you can ask her with the build a bear then she can have it forever?” Grayson explained excitedly. “That is genius,Grayson!” I shouted. “Well I am the smarter twin” he smirked. “Fuck off, Gray”.

An hour later we were inside Build-a-Bear Workshop looking at the different options. There were cats, dogs, bunnies, and bears galore but I definitely think the monkey is the cutest. I got the monkey then we picked out its clothes. I found a hoodie that said “Be Mine” with a heart which is perfect and some jeans. So now we have the message part. I grab a customized one and think about how I should word it. I look at Grayson and he quirks up an eyebrow. “How should I ask her? Should I say Dear Y/N, will you be my girlfriend? Y/N, will you be my girlfriend? Will you be my girlfriend, Y/N? There are so many options!” I sighed frustratedly. “You pick the one you like it doesn’t matter how you ask it all accomplishes the same goal,” Grayson said and I nodded. He was right. I was thinking about it too much. I recorded my message then stuffed the monkey, bringing it to life. Then I dressed it and picked out its accessories then I checked out. “Y/N will be here in an hour so I am going to run to the store real quick then I will be back but if for whatever reason she gets here before I get back to make sure the monkey is hidden” I ordered Gray. “Ay ay captain,” he said.

Y/N’s POV I had plans with the twins but I wasn’t exactly sure what they were so I decided to text Ethan.

E, what are we doing tonight?

Hanging out at ours, why?

I was deciding what to wear.

Well, you’d look beautiful in anything but I’d suggest leggings and a cute shirt.

Why a cute shirt?

You’ll find out, just trust me. It’s a surprise!

Ethan, I don’t like surprises

Too bad!

I decided to listen to Ethan’s advice so I wore leggings which I’m 90% sure he only told me leggings so he could see my butt because he always rattles on about how nice my butt is, how nicely my hips curve with my body, and I just don’t see it but whatever, I guess. I began straightening my hair and as soon as that was done I got dressed and headed over to the twins’ house. I knocked on the door to be met with Grayson. “Ethan is finishing dinner but come in” Gray instructed. “Ethan made dinner? Is it safe to eat?” I asked. “I cooked the chicken, he boiled the noodles and made the sauce which I helped him with so it should be pretty good” Gray explained. I walked into their kitchen and saw Ethan with an apron. “I like a man who can cook” I smirked. “Well then maybe you should be talking to Grayson because this is a mess,” he said and I giggled. “Even if you can’t cook, I like you better than Gray. If you can’t cook, I can’t eat and I’ll lose some weight” I said. “Shut up, you’re perfect,” he said slightly angered. “To you maybe” I scoffed. “Nuh-uh, don’t do this. You know I always win” he threatened. He was right, he did always when we had these argumentative moments. Soon enough the food was done. We all sat down at the table and began eating our alfredo then I smelled a burnt smell. “Is something still on? It smells like something is burning” I asked. “SHIT! I forgot the garlic bread!” Ethan yelled rushing to the kitchen and pulling open the fuming oven. Small billows of smoke tapered out of the oven as Ethan coughed dramatically trying to get the smoke to dissipate. Ethan grabbed an oven mitt and pulled the scorched bread out of the oven. “Well, there goes that” he sulked. I left my spot at the table and walked over to him. “Hey, what’s wrong bub?” I asked. “I just wanted tonight to be perfect” he mumbled. “Ethan, if I expected you to be perfect I would’ve left by now. It’s ok. It’s just the bread, not the main course so let’s go finishing eating. We made it this far without the bread” I said rubbing his back then kissing his cheek. He smiled as we headed back to the table. “Thank you” Gray mouthed to me and I nodded in response. It was a little while later and Grayson was doing the dishes. “So, I got you something today,” Ethan said. “Ethan, you didn’t have to do that” I smiled. “Oh, but I did,” he said as he ran into the other room. A few minutes later he walks in with a box. “These are for you and it’ll all make sense when you open the build-a-bear, put the shirt on the right way, and then press the right foot”. I opened the box to see a brown animal. I pulled it out to reveal a monkey with its shirt on the inside, some jeans, and a bouquet of red flowers. I took the shirt off then flipped it the right way and put it back on. I looked up at Ethan when the shirt read, “Be Mine” with a red heart. “Just wait” he mumbled. I pressed the right foot of the stuffed monkey to hear Ethan’s voice fill the room. “Y/N, would you like to be my girlfriend?” the message played. I looked up at Ethan and he was holding a bouquet of red roses just like the monkey had. I stood up from my chair hastily and wrapped my arms around Ethan’s neck. “I would love to be your girlfriend, Ethan,” I said into the crook of his neck and I felt his lips turn up into a smile. “Perfect”.

It’s a few hours later and we’re snuggled on the couch watching some movie that Grayson picked out which is bullshit because he’s already asleep. Ethan was half asleep tracing random shapes and figures on my hips and ass. “E, why do you like my body so much?” I asked. “What’s their not to like?” he asked. “Like everything” I retorted. “That’s where your wrong, pretty girl. Let’s sit up” he said. He laid at a 90-degree angle. His back against the arm of the couch with his legs stretched out. “C’mere. Sit on my lap” he instructed. “E, I’ll squish you” I whispered. “Hush, now sit down. I’ll be fine” he demanded. I sat down on his lap slowly. “Stop thinking that you’re not good enough for me when you’re more than good enough. I’m the one that isn’t good enough for you. I was terrified you’d say no to the monkey” he admitted. “Why would I say no?” I asked. “Being my girlfriend is more than just that. No matter whether we tell the fans they will find out. Some of them should go to the academy because they are damn good detectives. You’re going to be hated on for being with me but I have a feeling because you have more to offer” he smirked tracing his hand down my side. “That it’s going to be even worse and I just didn’t want that to scare you” he admitted his voice growing quiet as he finished the sentence. “Ethan, I’ve known who you and Gray were from the first time you came into the store. It’s hard living in LA and not knowing who you are. I know and understand the risks or I wouldn’t have agreed to your coffee date. Your fans don’t scare me. A lot of them show you and Grayson so much love and support but I know they are some that are just mean and envious of our relationship. I know that sometimes it’s not going to be easy or pretty but I also know that you nor Gray is going to let anything get too out of hand” I explained to him. “God, I’m so lucky” he groaned. “How long do you usually wait to announce your relationship? I’ve never had to announce it to the world” I asked. “I mean we don’t have to necessarily. They’ll figure it out” he answered. “Isn’t it easier to just tell them though?” I asked. “It is but let’s wait a bit. I want you to myself a little bit longer” he grinned.

It’s three months later. The twins’ fans are definitely starting to catch on to Ethan and me. He comes to work and visits me on my lunch breaks at least once a week. We will go out and do things throughout LA and sometimes Gray will be with us. There are rumors flying all around social media so I think tonight when I hang out with him, I’ll take about us announcing it just to cushion the blow.

“Ethan!” I yelled as I walked into their home. He texted me earlier that he was in the shower and to just come in. I could still hear the water running so I laid on his bed and waited for him to finish up. Soon enough the door opened and I was met with a shirtless Ethan with nothing but a towel hanging on his hips, dangerously low. His dark waves, even darker due to water meanwhile sticking to his clean forehead. His chest supporting droplets of water he either missed drying off or drops falling from his hair. “Baby, you’re drooling,” Ethan said breaking my focus. “I’m sorry, would you like me to come out of the bathroom in nothing but a towel, my hair dripping water droplets on my chest, and the clean scent surrounding me?” I shot back. “Uh, yeah. That’d be fucking great actually” he responded. “Damn it, Ethan” I rolled my eyes. “Anyway, get dressed I want to talk to you,” I said. “Um, ok?” he pondered as he dropped the towel so I could see his bare ass. “C’mon babe, turn around” I chanted. “You’d like that wouldn’t ya?” he asked with a smirk. “I mean I sure as shit wouldn’t complain” I grinned as he pulled his boxers over his thighs and around his waist. “Well that was disappointing” I muttered which emitted a deep chuckle from my boyfriend.

He turned around after finishing getting dressed. “What did you want to talk about?” he asked. “I think it’s time we say something” I admitted. “Like about us..to the fans?” he questioned. “Yes, E. It’s only going to get worse the longer we wait, for all of us. You can just post something on Twitter or Instagram” I said. “You’re probably right” he agreed. Ethan grabbed his phone and within a few minutes I got an Instagram notification: Ethan Dolan has tagged you in a post. Well, this ought to be interesting.

I opened my Instagram app to be swarmed with notifications. People commenting, liking, and following me. I finally made my way to Ethan’s post. It was a picture of us, one I didn’t know he took. Well, I think Grayson took it. Anyway, it was a picture of us laying on the couch. My head was resting on his chest. I was tucked into his side using one of my arms as a pillow on top of E’s chest, my other arm draped across his stomach, and our legs were intertwined. I was asleep and he was looking down at me with a small smile on his face. I finally made my way to the caption. “Hey, guys so a little update. Some of you guys are like real life detectives and have figured out that there’s a woman in my life. Her name is Y/N. We’ve been together for the last three months and today she decided that we should tell you guys. Now, Y/N is not a model, a YouTuber, a singer, none of that. We met at the mall and I do not want you guys hating on her for who she is or how she looks. She’s absolutely beautiful to me and I will not hesitate to block the people hating on my girl. She’s got my heart, she has since day one (but don’t tell her that). With all of that said I hope you guys love and respect her as much as I do”. I looked over at Ethan as he scrolled through the comments. “Ethan,” I said slowly. “Yes, babe?” he asked. “Do you mean that?” I asked. “Mean what? That you’re beautiful?” he asked confused. “Do you love me?” I asked. “I never said that,” he said making his turtle man face. “Reread the last sentence of your caption, you dope,” I said and he skimmed through to the end. “I didn’t even realize I said it. Probably because I’ve thought it for a couple months now but I was too scared to say it” he admitted, his face turning red from embarrassment. “It’s ok, E. I love you too” I admitted. Before I knew it he had snaked his arms around my hips and grabbed my butt to lift me up a little higher. Before I had time to process what was going on he crashed his lips on to mine. Our lips moving in sync as he tried to gain access but I’d deny it every time until he decided to pinch my ass causing me to gasp so he could make his way in. I pulled away and looked him. He was wearing a disappointed look. “What was that for?” he pouted. “What do you think you’re doing, mister?” I asked.

“I wanted to kiss you and show you my love for you,” he said. “Should I post something on Instagram? Seems how I just gained thousands of followers” I asked. “If you want” he shrugged. So I grabbed my phone and reopened the Instagram app. I picked a picture of Ethan holding the monkey he got me three months ago when he asked me to be his girlfriend plus the roses he gave to me. Then I also found a video of the message from the monkey. “Gimme your phone,” I said and he handed it over. His lock screen was a picture of him, Grayson, and I then his homescreen was the picture he just posted on Instagram. I went to E’s twitter then tweeted “Who wants to see how cute of a bf Ethan is?-Y/N”. I returned his phone back to him then went back on mine. “So three months and a few days ago I came over for dinner with the twins. They had made chicken alfredo. We were enjoying our dinner when I smelled something burning. Ethan had left the garlic bread in the oven and totally scorched it because he was so nervous about the night. I eventually found out why he was nervous. He had gone to build-a-bear and made a monkey. The monkey wore a shirt that said “Be Mine” and also had a small bouquet of roses, then I pressed the message hearing Ethan asking me to be his girlfriend. I looked up and he was holding roses just like the monkey. I obviously said yes. Now don’t let his bad boy exterior fool you. He’s a softy and loves a little bit of romance just like the rest of us”.

“Babe, you’re giving away my secrets” he whined. “How so?” I asked. “The last sentence of your post” he scoffed. “The last sentence always gets us both in trouble, huh?” I asked. “I guess so” he smirked as he leaned down to kiss me once more. He then quickly pulled us back on the couch so I was on top of him. “Gray’s not going to be home until tomorrow. He is staying at Bryant’s” Ethan said. “Yeah, and what’s your point?” I asked. “I mean, I uh, don’t know if you’d want to uh” he stuttered. “Are you trying to get me to have sex with you?” I asked. “I mean only if you want to. We totally don’t have to, if you aren’t ready. It was just a suggestion” he explained. “I mean, I don’t know” I smirked as I began grinding down on him making him groan at the pressure. “Oh is that how we’re playing this?” he asked cocking his eyebrow curiously. “At least for now,” I said leaning down and kissing him hastily. Our lips battling for dominance and our tongues dancing around one another. His hands immediately going to my butt and massaging it as if his life depended on it. After a few more minutes of this, I pulled away. His lips plump, red, and swollen. His hair disheveled from me tugging on it as I drug my hips back and forth across his lap, making him grow harder with every motion. “You know I really don’t think our first time having sex should be on the couch,” I said only slowing but never stopping my actions. “Could you stop doing that, I can’t focus on what you are saying” he grumbled grabbing my hips and making them stop. “I said I think our first time having sex shouldn’t be on the couch, in the living room that you share with your brother” I added for extra clarification. “Fine then let’s take it to my room” he smirked. I got off him so we could go to his room. He stood up then smacked my ass. “Grant” I growled and he rolled his eyes. As we started walking he pushed me up against the wall kissing once more and taking my breast into his hand, massaging it. “We’re never going to make it, E” I groaned. “Shh, you’re catching on to me” he whispered as he pulled my shirt over my head revealing my bra. I went to cover myself but he grabbed both of my hands. “No, none of that. You’re beautiful” he said before kissing my forehead. I reached for the hem of his shirt and pulled it over his head, tossing it somewhere. “Well let me see just a little bit more of you,” he said reaching behind me and unsnapping my bra in one quick motion. He ducked his head down and wrapped his plump lips around my nipple, sucking and licking at the bud. He moved his lips over slightly reattaching his lips to my bare skin. Sure to leave a mark. A love bite, he was marking his territory. I’m his territory. We made our way into his room and before I knew it he grabbed me then backed me into his bed causing me to fall into it. He reached for the button of my jeans and undid it then unzipping my zipper slowly. “Ethan” I whined. “No, we’re going slow tonight. Next time, I will absolutely wreck you but tonight I’m proving that I love you no matter what” he promised and I felt a tear gather in my eye. I tried to blink it away but it just fell down my cheek. “ Why the tears, doll?” he asked. “I just never thought I’d find someone so attractive yet sweet and understanding. Someone who genuinely just loves me and doesn’t want to change a thing” I sniffled.

“Hey, I have way more clothes on than you do” I complained. “Well then let’s fix that” he smirked unbuttoning then unzipping his jeans. He pulled them down past his thighs and down to his ankles as I watched him jump on one foot to get the other pant leg off him. He crawled back on top of me. “I’m not done with you yet” he growled dipping his head into the crook of my neck kissing me lightly. Then moving his way down my chest and wrapping his lips around my other nipple. Sucking a little bit harsher than last time. I began to moan under his touch. “C’mon, let me hear you. Let me hear how good I’m making you feel” he whispers as he licks my nipple once more before kissing his way down my tummy. Before I knew it he was at the hem of my panties. “Do you want these off, pretty girl?” E asked. “Fuck, please” I groaned. He slipped my panties over my thighs and down my legs throwing them across the room. He started at my ankles kissing me slowly, dragging his lips from spot to spot, never losing full contact. He makes his way up my legs and stopping just above my knees. He drags his tongue up my thighs slowly, delicately almost reaching where I wanted him the most. “E, please” I begged. “Just wait, baby” he promised. He went back to my thigh and placed a kiss in the area where he stopped. He then began nipping and sucking at the area too. I wriggled at the pain but sighed at the simultaneous pleasure he was giving me. He finished then went to the other leg repeating his actions, sealing it with a hickey, making me yearn for him even more. “I’m going to get you ready, baby girl, ok?” he asked making eye contact with me and not looking away until I gave him an answer. “Yes, E. Please,” I said. He placed his thumb on my clit rubbing gently and I hissed at the contact that I’d been waiting so long for. Soon enough he stopped. “What do you want me to do next?” he smirked. “Your fingers, Ethan. I need your fingers” I whined as he inserted one of his thick fingers inside of me. He was moving it so slowly that I needed more. “More, babe. I need more” I requested as he entered a second finger inside of my slowly then picking up his pace little by little. I peeked my eyes open to watch his head dip down. His tongue ran its way up my folds, over my center, then striking my clit causing me to moan loudly. “That’s my girl” he grinned as his tongue began rubbing circles over my clit. I reached my hand out for whatever it could reach. His hair, it lands in his hair as I tugged harshly causing him to moan into me, vibrations ringing through my whole body at the feeling. His tongue flicking over my clit in rhythms causing me to jerk then he suddenly wrapped his lips around the bundle of nerves causing me to scream out. “Ah, oh my god” I yelled as I pushed my self down as his face at the contact. His fingers still making their way in out of me as his tongue and lips wrestled with my clit. “Do you want me to make you come like this?” he asked menacingly. “Please, Ethan” I begged. “Your wish is my command, baby girl” he smirked as he dove right back into where he was. Moving his tongue up and down my folds, his nose poking at my clit every so often, oh and his fingers, they were pulsing in and out my much faster now that I could barely handle it. Everything began to speed up all at once and my orgasm was building quickly. “You’re squeezing my fingers, doll. Are you close?” he muttered. “Fuck, yes. Please, E. Let me come” I begged. “You asked so nicely, so cum for me, baby. Let me taste your juices on my tongue” he permitted and that’s all it took for my orgasm to wash over me. “Ah, fuck. I’m cumming” I groaned as I released all over Ethan’s tongue and face. The mixture of gushing and slurping sounds below me only turning me on just as I was coming off of my high. “Pretty girl with just sweet tasting juices,” he said as he wiped his chin of the excess juice dripping down it. “You think you’re ready for the rest of me?” he asked. “More than ready” I smirked. He reached over to his bedside table and pulled a condom out of the drawer. He ripped the packet open with his teeth and then rolled it down his length. He rubbed his length up and down teasing me. “You ready?” he asked and I nodded. He lined himself up to my entrance and slowly pushed himself in never breaking eye contact. His eyes had a glint of something in them. His eyes were filled with love and lust. “God, you’re so beautiful” he groaned as he began to move slowly. “E, can you go faster?” I asked. “Of course, princess,” he said as he began bucking his hips a little bit quicker. “Oh, fuck” I groaned at the feeling. His hips moving so fluidly that every time he thrust inside of me he hit my g-spot causing me to whimper with every stroke. Soon enough I started moving my hips down to meet his. “Keep doing that, babe. Fuck” he grunted. Within a few more moments he stopped. “What’s wrong?” I asked. “ I want you to be on top” he instructed. “Ethan, I-I’ll uh” I stuttered. “You won’t crush me. I am a big boy and I can handle it, now ride me” he ordered as he flipped us over. I grabbed his dick with my hand as I placed my legs on either side of him. I lined him back up with my entrance and slowly sank down on to him. I heard him groan as I slid down on his length. “Watching my dick disappear in your pretty little cunt is the hottest thing I’ve seen in a long time” he admitted as I slowly began bouncing myself up and down on his cock. “Fuck, you’re doing so good, sweet girl. Keep going, don’t stop” he encouraged which came out almost like a desperate plea. I began picking up my pace, grinding and gyrating faster on top of him. “I’m close, Y/N” he grunted. Not going to lie the way his dick filled me up felt so nice. Like we were made for each other. As I was lost in my thought he grabbed my hips and began thrusting upward into me causing fireworks to erupt inside of me. “Oh my god, Ethan, don’t stop. Fuck” I groaned as my second orgasm of the night neared. He reached up and placed his thumb on my clit once again rubbing it in harsh, fast circles. It wasn’t long before I felt the rush of my second orgasm fall over me. “Oh, E-E-Ethan” I moaned as I came on top of him. “Yes, yes. Just like that. Fuck, I’m cumming, Y/N” he moaned at the rush of sensations.The feeling of me contracting and cumming on top of him sent him over the edge. Both of us breathing heavy from our orgasms as I laid on top of him, exhausted from the night’s actions. “We should’ve done this a lot sooner” I giggled. “Ya think?”

It’s about an hour later and we’re both snuggled into his bed watching some movie on Netflix. “That actress is so pretty,” I said. “So are you” he mumbled half asleep. “Whatever, E” I sighed. “Don’t whatever, E me. You are going to sit here and listen to what I have to say” he demanded and I nodded. He never really got angry. He was never a serious person so here we go. “I’m going to sit here and tell you all the reasons you are pretty and you are going to listen and like it, understood?” he asked and I nodded once again. “Starting with your hair, god I love it. I could play with it for hours or even days on end. Next your forehead, I love peppering your forehead with kisses. I can tell that you love it too because no matter what we’re doing, you smile” he said as he kissed my forehead thus making me smile. “See?” he said. “Now, your eyes. I get lost in your eyes. Lost in the thought of how you became mine. Your nose, another thing I love to press kisses to” he said placing a chaste kiss to my nose. “Oh, and then my favorite thing to kiss. Your lips, I could kiss your sweet, soft, and pink lips every day until my heart stops beating and I would never complain” as he pressed another sweet kiss to my lips. “Your chest,” he said as he began lowering himself down my body “I love watching your chest rise and fall with every breathe you take especially when you are sleeping next to me. Whenever you stop breathing for too long I start to panic until you breathe again. Now, your tummy which is one of your least favorite things but that’s ok,” he said as he fell to his knees so he was even with what he was talking about. “I love your belly because it’s apart of you and I love you. Maybe one day it will hold our little mini me’s and I’ll love you even more than I do now” he said as he kissed my tummy. “Now onto your hips, the way they curve into the rest of your body mesmerizes me. I love watching you walk and when your hips sway it makes me bit my lip every time because I know I am so lucky to have you” he said kissing each hip softly. “Then your ass I love when you can’t reach stuff in the cabinet. I love watching you struggle so I can see your butt strain against the counter until I walk over and help you. Now onto the next thing, when I said your lips were my favorite thing to kiss, I lied. This is my favorite thing to kiss” he smirked as I smack at his head lightly as he kissed the front of my underwear. “I absolutely loved making love to you tonight. Nothing made me happier than to see you above or below me, loving me as I love you. Now your legs, I gotta say I love these too. Why? Because they carry you to me every day and I absolutely adore that. I love your thighs and when you complain that every pair of pants you own ends up with a hole in the thigh because you have thick thighs but that’s ok because I love when you wrap them around my head when I’m-Ethan” I interrupted him and he chuckled. “Let’s not forget your arms. I love when they wrap around my neck and you look up at me like you’ve never wanted something more in your life” he explained. “Because I don’t” I whispered. “Me either” he whispered back as we heard the door shut. He stood up and wrapped me up in his arms.”You wanna know the best part of all this?” he asked. “What’s the best part?” I asked back. “That you are all mine” he grinned.

“Y/N? E?” Grayson yelled as he walked through the house. He was wearing nothing but boxers and I was in a t-shirt and panties. Soon enough Grayson opened Ethan's door. “Why are your guys’ clothes-nevermind” he stopped himself as he shut the door making Ethan and I chuckle. “We’re done now, Gray!” E shouted. “Have been for a while now!” I added. “Well then pick up your damn sex clothes!” Grayson huffed as we opened the door and went to pick up our clothes. “I thought you were staying at Bryant’s?” Ethan asked his brother. “Yeah, and I thought you two were watching movies not making babies” Grayson scoffed. “He used a co-don’t finish that sentence” Grayson warned and we laughed. “I’m going to bed” Grayson sighed “You two keep it down” he added. “Oh ETHAN” I moaned in joking kind of way as Grayson slammed his door shut. “He’s just mad he’s not getting any” Ethan said. We walked back into his room and crawled into bed. I turned so my face was buried in his chest. I looked up at Ethan and said, “I love you, thank you”. “For what?” he asked. “Making me feel comfortable in my own body” I admitted. “Of course, pretty girl and I love you too,” he said as he kissed me goodnight. “Goodnight, Ethan,” I said as my eyes fluttered shut. “Goodnight, Y/N,” he said as he placed a final kiss to the top of my head as I fell asleep in his embrace.

#ethan dolan #ethan dolan imagine #ethan dolan blurb #ethan dolan smut #grayson dolan #grayson dolan imagine #grayson dolan smut #grayson dolan blurb #dolan twins #dolan twins imagine #dolan twins blurb #dolan twins smut #the dolan twins #the dolan twins imagine #the dolan twins smut #the dolan twins blurb #ethan and grayson #grayson and ethan

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grapesodatozier · 6 years ago

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okay so I’m watching IT right now for 17th time and i had an epiphany. idk if this is already an idea out there but i just pasted the scene where Eddie encounters pennywise at the well House. do you think you could write a one shot where right after Eddie escapes, he bikes straight to richie’s house for comfort ? ik this is probably an idea out there in the tumblr world bUT I THOUGHT IT WOULD BE REALLY CUTE. thank you for coming to my TED talk, if anyone reads this.

thank you so much for the request!! this is such a cute idea and it was so fun to write omg

words: 2,137

read on ao3 or below!!

Eddie’s legs quickly became sorefrom how hard he was running, sneakers slapping harshly against the pavementwith every step, but he barely felt it. His chest was on fire, and his heartfelt like it was trying to punch its way out. The wind whipping past Eddie feltlike fingers down his arms, breath in his ear; it made him feel sick. His legs,protesting from years of disuse, managed to carry him all the way past hishouse to a blue Victorian. The sight made it a little easier for him tobreathe, despite how overworked his lungs were. He made his way up the porch onwobbly legs and rang the doorbell, near collapse when Maggie Tozier answeredthe door.

“Eddie?” sheasked, concern flooding her blue eyes. “Are you all right, honey?”

“Is Richie home?”Eddie managed to rasp out, his chest heaving.

“He’s in thebasement,” she answered, stepping aside and letting Eddie in. “Do you want aglass of water? You look a little beat.”

“That’s okay,”Eddie called over his shoulder, already halfway to the basement steps. “Thankyou, Mrs. Tozier!” With that he was bounding down the basement stairs.

Richie wassitting on the floor, video game controller clutched in his hands, neck cranedup at the television, his giant glasses reflecting the light of the screen. Hishead whipped toward the stairs at the sound of Eddie’s hurried steps. “EddieSpaghetti!” he exclaimed. “To what do I owe the pleasure?”

“Don’t call methat,” Eddie said weakly, frozen at the bottom of the stairs. He wasn’t quitesure why he was here, and he was still pretty terrified, which didn’t helpclear his mind. He kept feeling like if he turned around… it would still bethere, that thing.

“Aw, you knowyou love it,” Richie winked. “So. You come over for a reason? Or are you justgonna stand there looking pretty?” Eddie blushed furiously at that.

“Yeah, I bet you’dlike that,” Eddie grumbled, making his legs move as he walked over to Richie.They practically sighed in relief as he took a seat on the floor next to hisbest friend. Eddie played with the zipper of his fanny pack; it was still open,and missing a pill bottle, which made Eddie’s heart start up again. Ma’s not gonna be happy, he thought tohimself. God, she’s gonna cry and screamand have a whole fucking fit. The thought was scary, but not as scary asthe memory of where his pills were, why they were currently lying in the middleof Neibolt Street. His breathing became a thin whistle, his entire bodytrembling.

“Eds?” Eddie’shead snapped up at the sound of his name, and he found Richie’s magnified eyesnarrowed as he looked at Eddie. “You okay? I made a joke about your mom and youdidn’t even punch me.” Eddie wanted to respond, wanted to yell at him, but hecould feel his throat closing. He reached for his inhaler, but even the sightof his fanny pack had tears blurring his vision. “Whoa, whoa, hey, it’s okay, I’llget it,” Richie rushed to say. He pushed Eddie’s hands out of the way andretrieved his inhaler. Eddie opened his mouth, letting Richie press his inhalerinto his hand and guide it to his face. Eddie inhaled, grateful for themedicinal taste on his tongue. Richie had one hand on Eddie’s and the othercupping Eddie’s jaw. His hands were a little sticky, but Eddie found that hedidn’t mind; they were warm, and they helped ground him. Eddie pulled theinhaler away from his lips, steadying his breathing on his own. He felt hottear tracks running down his cheeks and wiped them away furiously. Richie slidhis hand away from Eddie’s cheek, resting it on his shoulder. Eddie missed histouch. “You okay?” Richie asked in a voice so soft Eddie practically couldn’trecognize it. “What was all that about?”

Eddie consideredtelling him, but the thought had his throat closing again. “Tell me about yourday,” Eddie said suddenly, the words tripping over one another in their rush toget out. Richie’s brow furrowed, and he looked like he was about to saysomething, but Eddie cut him off. “Any good chucks today?” he asked, his voicestill shaking. The confusion on Richie’s face smoothed out, some expressionEddie couldn’t place passing over his wide eyes before he beamed at Eddie.

“Finally pickingup on my genius vocabulary, I see,” he bragged before launching into an accountof his day. Every word calmed Eddie’s breathing, every wild gesture and stupidvoice dried Eddie’s tears. Before long he was even laughing, smacking Richie’sshoulder half-heartedly. “So you really came over just to hear about my day?”Richie asked, toeing the line between humorous and serious.

Eddie shrugged,already beginning to shrink in on himself again. “I just wanted to see you,” hesaid defensively, wishing he’d worded it differently as a shit-eating,bucked-tooth grin spread across Richie’s face.

“I’m pretty irresistible,aren’t I?”

“Yeah, to licemaybe,” Eddie scoffed. But then he was thinking about lice, and things crawlingon him, inside of him, and he startedfreaking out again. What if that thing had touched him? What if he wasinfected?

“Eds?”

“I sawsomething,” Eddie managed to croak out.

“Congratulationson not being blind? Although considering your present company, you’re kindajust bragging.” Eddie shot Richie a look that shut him up.

“You know thehouse on Neibolt Street?”

“The abandonedone?” Eddie nodded. “Yeah, that place is fuckin’ Creep City.”

“Well, I passedit on my way home, and…” Eddie trailed off, his chest already tightening again.For once in his life Richie was quiet, patiently waiting for Eddie to continue.“I saw this, this man, I guess, but he-” Eddie sucked in a breath sharply,feeling himself getting to the verge of tears again. He gripped the hem of hisshorts so hard his knuckles turned white. “He was sick, like, fucking rotting.” He trained his eyes on Richie’sgangly, bent knees in an attempt to ground himself, unable to look into hisfriend’s eyes as his own began to fill with tears again. “I dropped my pills,and then he just fucking appeared outof nowhere. And I ran, but h-he chased me.” Eddie’s resolve broke on theword “chased,” and he began sobbing in earnest. Richie froze for a moment beforepulling Eddie into his arms. The angle was a bit awkward, as they were bothsitting cross-legged, their knees banging together. Eddie crawled into Richie’slap, throwing his shame out the window and following the instincts that toldhim to seek the comfort Richie was offering. Eddie was both surprised andgrateful when Richie wrapped his arms even more tightly around Eddie’s torsowithout cracking a joke. Eddie burrowed his face into Richie’s shoulder,fingers gripping the front of his shirt. He thought that maybe he should beembarrassed, but Richie was pulling him in, not pushing him away, and insteadof feeling embarrassed he felt safe,finally.

“Did he hurtyou?” Richie asked. His voice sent chills down Eddie’s spine; Eddie had onlyseen Richie genuinely mad once or twice in their six years of friendship, butit was so chilling that he’d memorized what it sounded like, and it soundedlike that. Eddie shook his head.

“N-no, I gotaway.” An image popped into Eddie’s head then, a bunch of balloons in anunnatural triangle formation, none of them bopping or blowing in the wind.Then, behind the balloons-

But no, Richiewouldn’t believe that. If Eddie mentioned the clown Richie would think he’dbeen joking, or that he was crazy. He might even get mad at him, and Eddie didn’twant to do anything that would make Richie stop holding him.

“Damn right yougot away from that fucking creep,” Richie said. Eddie thought he was trying tosound light-hearted, proud even, but there was still that harshness in hisvoice, that anger. “No fucking creep-ass hobo is gonna touch my Eddie Spaghetti.” Richie’s arms tightenedaround Eddie, and Eddie kind of felt like he was melting into Richie. It feltnice. Richie took a breath and said in a voice much closer to his normal,jovial tone, “I swear Eds, you gotta go out for track, you’d knock ‘em dead.”Eddie’s chest tightened again, but this time it was different. My Eddie. Eds. He curled further intoRichie, sniffling; Richie was a bony motherfucker, but Eddie had never beenmore comfortable. “Hey,” Richie whispered in Eddie’s ear, “he can’t get you,okay? You’re safe now. He’s never gonna bother you again.” This was anothervoice Eddie had only heard a handful of times, but it was a voice he liked muchbetter than the angry one. It was a voice Richie never used around the others,Eddie had only ever heard it when he and Richie were alone. It soothed him, andsoon his sobs were nothing more than small hiccups.

He reluctantlylifted his head from Richie’s shoulder, wiping at his eyes. “Shit, I got snoton your shirt,” he laughed weakly. Richie just shrugged.

“This shirt’s seenworse,” he grinned.

“Ugh, you’regross,” Eddie groaned, sharing Richie’s smile. He didn’t want to leave Richie’slap, but he felt like he had to, so he did.

“You know youlove me,” Richie winked.

“Yeah,” Eddiesighed, suddenly exhausted. That wiped the grin off Richie’s face, leaving himwith wide eyes and pink cheeks.

“I’m uh, I’mglad you came over,” Richie said. His hand were in his lap, but his Band-Aidcovered knees were bumping against Eddie’s, so he was close enough that hecould run his fingers over Eddie’s calves just by stretching them a little bit.Eddie got a weird feeling in his chest when Richie did that, but it felt kindof nice. “You know, you’re always safe here. I’m not gonna let anything happento you.” Eddie nodded, taking Richie’s hands in his own. His stomach flutteredas he did so, but Richie held on tight, and Eddie didn’t feel like pullingaway.

“Thanks, Rich.”

“Any time.”

“I’m not gonnalet anything happen to you either, you know.”

“Aw, Eds, myfierce little protector, you’re too sweet.” Eddie rolled his eyes, but he didn’tlet go of Richie’s hands. “You okay?” Richie asked after a moment of silence.

“I think so,”Eddie said, deflating a bit. “I’m just- what if I’m sick now, you know? What ifhe did touch me, or what if it was airborne?”

“Well if it’sairborne then you just got me sick,” Richie joked, “so I guess we’ll rottogether, asshole.” He grinned, but it didn’t do anything to calm Eddie’sfears. Picking up on this, he added, “Eds, you’re not sick, I promise.”

“You don’t knowthat.”

“Yes, I do.”

“No, you don’t.”

Something Eddiecouldn’t quite name passed over Richie’s eyes. Then, suddenly, Richie’s handswere back on Eddie’s face, and he was pressing his candy-sweet lips to Eddie’s.It was brief, and their lips didn’t quite line up right, but Eddie melted intoimmediately anyway.

“There,” Richiesaid when he pulled away, his cheeks dusted pink. “That’s how certain I am thatyou’re not sick.”

“You’re an idiot,”Eddie mumbled, but he couldn’t help the smile that played across hisstill-tingling lips, and he took Richie’s hands in his own again.

“No, I’m adoctor,” Richie corrected with a huge grin.

“I’ve never hada doctor do that before.”

“I’d sure hopenot,” Richie said, making Eddie giggle. “Was that… okay?” Richie asked, hissmile faltering. It came back full force when Eddie nodded. “Awesome! It was…kind of awesome.”

“Yeah,” Eddieagreed. They looked at each other for a long moment, playing with each other’sfingers.

“You wanna play?”Richie asked, breaking the silence as he nodded toward the TV. “I can plug inanother controller.”

“Can I justwatch you play?” Eddie asked.

“Definitely!”Richie nodded enthusiastically. He turned back to the television, and Eddienestled in next to him, resting his head on Richie’s snot-free shoulder.

“You know, youshouldn’t sit so close to the screen,” Eddie said. “That’s probably why you’reso fucking blind.”

“No, I’m sofucking blind because I’ve blinded by your beauty so many times,” Richiegrinned down at him, kissing the top of his head. He then launched into a storyabout how the round was going as he began to play again, and Eddie was happy tosettle in and listen to his spiel.

As he thoughtabout it, Eddie knew Richie was right; he wassafe, and so was Richie, as long as they were together.

taglist: @jane-doe-663 @reddie4thesinbin @deadlighturis @constantreaderfool @reddieloserz

#reddie #reddie fic #reddie fluff #request

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into-september · 6 years ago

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Banana Fish episode 20-21

The short version is that the only things I even like about this show any longer is Max and Yut Lung.

So chalk this up to the proud tradition of watching-stuff-just-to-complain-about-it, because I've invested enough time in this show to be talking about it at length anyway. There's going to be too much to say about its existence as an adaptation, about the timing of the release, about the inexplicable fact that they updated the setting but didn't update the content. If sullen complaints are going to be what it takes for me to get through the last four episodes, then complain I shall, and I'll be sharing it with the internet so that maybe some other lost soul might find comfort in it.

Sailor Moon's ending was spectacular, by the way, by which I mean that I would never have gotten over it if I'd watched the show when it was actually airing and I was actually smack in the middle of the intended audience. But I really loved it a lot okay, and certainly more than this contemporary.

Seriously, guys. Go watch Sailor Moon instead. It's funny and charming and way more entertaining and there are ACTUAL GAY PEOPLE BEING GAY AND SAYING THEY LOVE EACH OTHER AND INDISPUTABLY BEING IN A RELATIONSHIP AND ALSO WOMEN.

Oh, screw it all. I just realised that there have been no named women on this show who were around for more than two episodes (Max's wife and Ash's stepmum. Shorter's sister was at least named in the manga, and possibly Dr. Vegetable's housekeeper who was really working for Yut Lung was, too). I'll be re-watching this with my sister come Christmas break, and I swear I'll COUNT the number of women who aren't background extras because the last woman I recall having lines the nurse who tried to kill Ash some six or seven episodes ago.

EPISODE 20

- ugh WHY did you have to sully Canon's good name by putting it into this anime and putting it into DINO'S PARTY of all places. Maybe the cellist owed him money.

- I'm pretty sure this whole thing about people adressing Dino as "Monsieur" was just something the mangaka came up with halfway through and introduce because she thought it was cool, and then the anime didn't realise that adaptations are where you take the chance to fix the fuckups of the source material

- Cute how this is America and a mob-boss with more enemies than George Soros and yet no-one thought to pat down the staff and oh, Eiji, showing off that gun is not a good idea if you're trying to be undercover. Mostly I'm just disappointed that the show thinks it needs to remind the viewers that this gun existed, as if EIJI of all characters requesting one at the end of last episode is something we just forget

- Eiji runs at Dino with a gun drawn, is shot down before he gets within ten metres of him. Dino is arrested and is locked up for life. Max adopts Ash, who goes on to use his genius to find a way to cure climate change and cancer. Ibe returns to Japan owing Eiji's family some explanation. Yut Lung lets go of the ghosts of his past. Sing lets go of avenging Shorter. I can quit this anime reasonably satisfied, and turn my attention to re-reading the No. 6 novels and probably moan about the weird pacing or something. WELL THAT WAS A HAPPY ENDING BOY AM I GLAD THERE ARE NOT FOUR EPISODES AND TWENTY MINUTES LEFT OF THIS SHOW OR NOTHING HA HA HA ha

- And there goes Yut Lung with his Eiji hateboner. I KNOW it won't happen but let me hope for the miracle where he gets his wish granted and gets to shoot him in the face personally.

- Yeah Sing, IDK, maybe someone's should've told the civillian to stay home or at least wait behind the wheel of the getaway car so that someone who had fired a gun before could've not missed the child rapist trying to take over the country standing a metre and half away from him.

- Also: Most anticlimatic shootout ever. I thinkthey spent more time talking about the super important party last episode than on showing us the super important party in this one.

- WELL FOR SOMETHING THAT IS GENUINELY INTRIGUING: How upset Yut Lung is about Blanca's betrayal and how emotionally invested he is in whatever the hell it is he wants with Ash. I'm pretty sure he's in a position to get rid of whichever brothers of his he hadn't already killed, and whatever reason he has for cooperating with Dino, it sure as hell isn't because he LIKES him. So why exactly he's got such a personal vendetta against Ash is pretty much the only thing I honestly care about at this point.

- I like this entire "oniichan" thing between Ash and Eiji, and probably for all the wrong reasons. Just let me compare it to Digimon Frontier, which similarly established the "Takuya-oniichan" dynamic between Takuya (parted from his younger brother) and Tomoki (parted from his older one). Was it profound, on any level? No. Was the relationship between Takuya and Tomoki notable outside of it? No. But the fact that they on some level treated each other as the brothers from which they were parted gave their relationship this little flavour of some more profound psychological issues at hand, even if it was probably just to foreshadow and highlight the Kouji-Kouichi disaster. And even if it's a stretch to apply the same to Ash and Eiji, it would at least explain something if the two of them saw each other as the absent family members: If Ash saw Eiji as a chance to have a Griffin-who-lived, if Eiji saw Ash as subtstitute for his younger sister, then that would go a long way in explaining why the hell they're so irrationally invested in each other's safekeeping. I mean, it makes absolutel no sense because even goddamn Digimon Frontier had more elaborate sibling relationships than Banana Fish has, but let me pretend a bit, okay? Because even oniichan jokes lend more narrative logic than the absolute silence that has been entertained about the love that dared not speak its name in 1892 but if you're going to tell that omg cencorship, LET ME REMIND YOU THAT THIS AIRED ON JAPANESE TV IN 19 FUCKING 92

youtube

- Oosa still lives on in our memories

- Oh good, I can appreciate Ash just waking up in time to instantly tear into someone for not being a feral genius child like him

- Eiji takes off on another ill-adviced suicide mission, and Cain speaks for all of us when he knocks Ash out

- Not that I question Cain's decision to have Ash tied up on the bed here, but ouch being tied up on beds is not the thing this boy needs to experience ever

- Other things to be counting upon the re-watch: Ash's body count, now increased with at least one

- On the one hand: How the hell did he just get into that museum just like that. I mean, surely there must be guards? Alarms? Locks on the doors that require more than blunt gun-induced force to open?

But on the other hand: IS THIS ZOOTROPOLIS OR IS THIS ZOOTROPOLIS and I'm fully on board with this if it's going to end with Ash pretending to be hit with Banana fish and fake-killing Eiji in front of Dino's eyes while secretly recording his premature bragging about his evil plans for using this drug to take over the world

- I can't believe I'm seriously hoping they shoot Eiji. What have this show reduced me to. I used to like him.

- oh good, I was hoping that Ash would just shove Yut Lung head first down the stairs and for once the show did not disappoint

EPISODE 21

I don't think "torture porn" is the right description for this story, and I'm getting the definite impression that The Manga Is Better, but someone being lippy in other fora means that I've got some expectations that I've no doubt will come about, given the story's previous track record. But my orchestra is having the Christmas programme from hell tomorrow and I sure won't be doing this after getting home from that past midnight, so let's just get it over with, shall we.

- Not to get into the fandom's internal debates or anything here, but Eiji ridiculing his sister's doki-doki good luck charm is a pretty good indication of the status of Eiji/Ash and "super canon confirmation" is not it

- I don't know the Japanese word for "hitman" but I sure perked up at recognising it here anyway. Thank you, Hakata Tonkotsu Ramens, a far dumber anime that was ultimately a far greater joy to watch, and which also had a better track record at depicting gay men than Banana Fish has this far, with a good 100% of them being depicted as a) relatively nice guys since they’re the allies of the hero, b) not rapists, c) not pedophiles.

- My god is Sing actually going to have some plot relevance what is this trickery

- I just realised that we never learn enough about Eiji's babysitters for their names to be worth remembering. Because I actually do think these names were mentioned at some point, but don't ask me what they were. As far as I can tell, they're Scrawny Guy, Black Guy Who Was Somehow White In The Manga, and Not!Oosa

- In no news, I suppose, Yut Lung is seriously the only thing I'm enjoying about this show all the time Max isn't around, and I'm immensly enjoying his getting his own hands dirty and also his hear being wild and free to symbolise his deteriorating mental control

- Sing's plot relevance lasted for a full minute and half

- DADDY IS BACK

- And now also a sugar daddy. I approve.

- Oh this darling show, this is... what, the third? Yeah, the second or third time it's mentioned gay men, and all of them have been when showing us child rapists. Such representation, much progress.

- The one guy I'd LIKE to see Ash kill, and Max stops him. Boo.

- Ash kill count: +1

- It's sad how they just mentioned the French Foreign Legion and my interest just perked 20%, isn't it

- Max goes down like Dr. Marco and Ash, couldn't you just... you know... CALL HIM, THIS IS 2018, YOU HAVE SMARTPHONES

- Ash kill count +2

- A woman? In MY Banana Fish???

- Jesus, I completely forgot that Max is a goddamn Iraq veteran

#banana fish spoilers #sailor moon #digimon frontier #hakata tonkotsu ramens #banana fish #let's watch cartoons

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btsxlami · 8 years ago

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📢LISTEN 📢 UP📢 ARMYS📢 HERE ARE 23 UNDERRATED RAP MONSTER TRACKS THAT YOU SHOULD ABSOLUTELY CHECK OUT

*there are way more namjoon tracks but this list was getting too long* *just peep his mixtape and soundcloud*

1. Rap Monster by Rap Monster

This is Namjoon’s take on “look at me now” by Chris Brown and a.k.a the first ever song to be represented by Bangtan Sonyeondan as it was the first ever track on BTS’s official soundcloud.

This is an introduction to Rap Monster as an artist and a lit track. This shit was a bop!

2. Too much by Rap Monster

This song is extremely meaningful and Namjoon’s voice sounds breathtaking. This was Namjoon’s reflection of the B-free incident. He mentions how he shouldn't take B-free’s hate to his heart and not to over think criticism. In the beginning he sounds really hurt but omg towards the end he is going hard, and it gives me old school rap vibes.

3. Unpack your bags by Rap Monster

This song is a huge middle finger to the underground rap community who looks down on idol rappers. This was a collab with the show 4 things where he mentions how hard it was him to pursue hip hop. He mentioned 4 struggles he faced in the industry. Check out the episode, the show also shows how he interacts with his producers and Bang PDnim and this was where the really famous “ Solo, or Bangtan” moment was born. We really got to know Namjoon as an artist personally and his teenage days.This is complimented with a really cute music video.

4. P.D.D (Please Don’t Die) by Rap Monster

This is a track where he collabed with Warren G prior to his mixtape in L.A and this gives me chills because of that prominent West Coast feel. Check out the MV and the naver behind the scenes.

5. Something by Rap Monster (a.k.a my all time favourite song I don’t know why tbh)

HOLY SHIT THIS SONG TAKES ME WAY BACK! I feel as if nowadays the producers really autotune Namjoon’s singing voice and make it really shaky but hear you can prominently really hear his singing skills and It is such a sexy love song. It really gives your romantic feels and reflects on a sad teenage love story.

6. Where u At by Rap Monster

THIS IS SUCH A MEANINGFUL SONG.

Here we have high school Namjoon talking about how school has gotten the best of him. In a culture where education and status are everything, he talks about letting his parents down and confessing to his relatives about his future in Hip-Hop. Its an extremely relatable track where you think about where you want to head in the future.

7. Favourite Girl by Rap Monster

This is such a cute fuckboy song omg Namjoon’s voice is so cute in this. Young love amirite.

But I have a secret meme with this song. In 6th grade I accidentally blasted this and my teacher started singing along to it since the chorus is in english and ever since my friends have been taunting me with this song.

8. Monterlude by Rap Monster

The instrumental to this was included in the Skool Luv Affair album. This is in english and this is such a cute love song. Namjoon would spoil his girlfriend omg.

9. Promethus by Yankie feat Rap Monster

Namjoon teamed up with some popular K-rappers and his verse in this made my pussy drop BUT EVERYONE IN THIS SONG DID SO AMAZING THIS IS SUCH A TURNT SONG I WAS JAMMING TOO HARD

This song is based off of the seven sins and Namjoon plays lust..ofc.

He uses some sick korean wordplay.

10. Bucku Bucku by MFBTY feat Rap Monster

MFBTY are already korean hip hop legends and the fact that such “old” and wise rappers decided to have Namjoon feature is an honor.

He also had a little role in another one of their mvs here

11. PRIMARY (프라이머리) - U (Feat. Kwon Jin Ah 권진아, Rap Monster 랩

This song is really relaxing and I love Primary’s beats and Kwon Jin Ah’s soothing voice, But Namjoon’s soothing rap was so sexy. It was just so hot omg.

12. Awakening by Rap Monster from his mixtape

This song was from his mixtape which you absolutely need to check out and I suggest you see his other music videos such as the legendary Do You and Joke.

This song was extremely powerful and eye opening. Just ready the lyrics and you will know why.

“In the moment of my failure will someone hold my hand? in the moment when I come down from the stage will that person be next to me? just tell me that I can survive in this cold world, just feel my vibe every night inside me I quietly fight with myself my heart pounds, my colleagues stab me in the back while saying that I became a moron after joining a company yeah fuck you I’m an idol, yeah yeah I’m an idol at one time I hated it but now I love to get that title”

13. I believe by Rap Monster

Extremely uplifting and it brings you a huge amount of self-confidence, its a self-loving song and its a self reminder to always believe in yourself no matter how much you fall. Also has a little appearance from Jimin.

14. God Rap By Rap Monster

This song talks about Namjoon being an athiest but also has a message for believers. It talks about controlling your own life and to be your own idol. It says how you have the power of god in you and how you are extraordinary.

15. Throw Away by Rap Monster

HOLY CRAP THIS SONG IS EXTREMELY LIT THIS IS SUCH A BOP OMG THIS ALWAYS HAS ME JUMPING CHECK OUT THE LIVE TOO

“got an automatic dick”

16. Rush by Rap Monster feat Krizz Kaliko also from his mixtape

Funny story this is how they got together and created this lit korean meets american rap track.

Namjoon goes really hard in this, check it out!

17. Drifting by Rap Monster also from his Mixtape

This song has a theme that goes with “Reflection” and “Always”, He says how his thoughts are drifting and how feels lost (almost like the track lost in wings). Its put you in a trance where you, yourself starts to think about where you are in life and what purpose you have.

18. Life by Rap Monster from his mixtape

This song got me tripping because Namjoon is a lyrical genius. The amount of questions this song got me saying is insane. Just read.

“ the little me inside myself was always lonely why is there no opposite word of loneliness? could it be because people, until they die, have no moments of not being lonely? it’s necessary to seek a moment to be alone yeah that’s a life we live inside danger through the reward that makes us able to see this beautiful world “

“ were we born to die, were we born to live are we living to die, or are we dying to live the nametag with my name on it, is that my life? or is it death who knows… life, fall in love life receives injuries from us and is lonely because of the wind and we wanna be right but always wrong were we born to be wrong? is life something like that? (in the end, for our whole lives we don’t know what tomorrow will be)”

19. Monster by Rap Monster from his mixtape

“R TO THE M IMMA MOTHERFUCKING MONSTER”

20. Joke. (you should probably know this)

I really did’nt want to include this because his 2 most famous tracks are Do you and Joke and I wanted to keep this list to the underrated but tbvh I was really surprised when I figured out that people don’t know this track.

HONESTLY IF YOU TELL ME NAMJOON DOESNT HAVE RAP FLOW OR CANT RAP FAST WATCH THIS FUCKING VIDEO>

In this track he said how he is mocking rappers who only have good flow but no sense of meaningful lyrics.

The lyrics in this song make no sense but the rap flow is too damn good. WHEN WATCHING THIS YOU WILL BE LIKE HONEY PLEASE BREATHE. HE RAPS SO FAST.

PLEASE LISTEN TO THIS MASTERPIECE> HE GOES SO HARD HE TRUELY IS A MONSTER

21. DO YOU BY RAP MONSTER ( (you should also probably know this)

In this track he talks about how at a young age society tells us what to be, how to look, what to wear, how to behave. He says fuck whatever they say and just do you.

22. Fantastic by Rap Monster (from fantastic four)

I heard that fantastic four was shit but Namjoon got a chance to do a song for a movie which is a big deal for bangtan so WHOO

23. Illest Bitch

A really cute confession from Namjoon going through Puberty

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choisgirls · 8 years ago

Note

What about the RFA playing a silly party game like spin the bottle or seven minutes in heaven?

A/N: Hi hi! We decided we were going to combine these two into one, since you mentioned them both!! Hope you don’t mind!

Remember the seven minutes in heaven stuff on Quizilla before it was shut down? A dark time in my youth (404: I wrote fics like that on there in 6th grade dear lord) ~ Admin 626

*YOOSUNG:

-He’s only heard of 7 minutes in heaven from TV shows and the internet

-He didn’t know it was an actual thing!!!

-EXTREMELY nervous to play. What if he got someone and it made the relationship weird!!! Oh mY GOD WHAT IF HE RUINS THE FRIENDSHIPS????

-When it was your turn to pick a name, however, he secretly crossed his fingers and prayed to the LOLOL Gods to let it be him

-He’s had a huge crush on you ever since you’ve joined the RFA, but he’s always been way too shy to tell you

-Wait, you….you picked his name? HE HAS TO LITERALLY BITE HIS TONGUE SO HE DOESN’T SQUEAL OUT IN HAPPINESS!

-Tries to play it cool when he walks with you to the closet, pretending to be put off by the whole idea

-As soon as the door’s shut though, he’s glad it’s dark so you don’t see how red his face is!!

- leaned in to try and kiss you but missed so he just sat in silence

-You make the first actual move and grab him by the shirt, pulling him closer. The kiss you gave him was so passionate that he thought he was going to faint, but instead, he put his (shaking) hands on your hips, and attempted to kiss back with the same amount of passion. He might not be able to tell you out loud that he likes you, but maybe you’ll get the hint after this!!

-The two of you kept getting closer and closer, each kiss getting sloppier and more rushed. Neither of you could tell who was more excited, in all honesty. You ran your hands through his hair more times than you can count, just as he’s gripped your hips each time. When you bit down slightly on his bottom lip, you could hear a slight moan from him. Before he could get flustered and apologize, you bite down harder and the moan gets louder- but he gets feistier. Your back is slightly against the wall not long after, and his hands start to trail up the front of your shirt.

-Before he could get any further than your stomach, though, time was up and Saeyoung flung open the door, wolf-whistling. The blush on his face was so cute when he practically threw himself away from you! Tried to stutter out an apology but quickly shut up when you kissed his cheek and told him you wouldn’t mind trying again sometime

*JUMIN:

-How was he talked into playing this game?

- please dont make me go in there with zen he might hit me

-Wasn’t 100% sure what was actually supposed to happen with this game

-You just had to sit in the closet for 7 minutes, right? You didn’t HAVE to make out with whoever you’re with…right?

-He was fine going in there with anyone but zen, if you could just sit and not participate in anything

-DIDN’T EXPECT FOR YOU TO PICK HIS NAME THOUGH

-Cool Calm Collected: The Jumin Han Story

- 500% excited on the inside though

-You had managed to make your way into his heart, but he just wasn’t good at his emotions- he had no idea how to tell you

-You know he made a powerpoint presentation once but Jaehee told him that was way too business-like, he had to tell you in a more…loving way

-He followed you to the closet, and you started to tell him that if he just wanted to sit and talk, that would be fine with you, though you were cut off before you ever had the chance to say that

-Your back was immediately against the wall, his hands laying flat against it on either side of your head. He slowly brought his lips to your own, kissing them softly, which surprised you. But, there was no stopping there

-When you kissed back, he took the opportunity to run his hands down your sides slowly. He seemed to take his time building up the kiss to something more passionate and rough. Your hand made its way to the back of his head, the sensation of your hand in his hair was enough to throw all hesitation out the window

-His tongue teased your bottom lip, asking for entrance and his hands ran down your thighs. Before his hands could travel anywhere else, time was up and Zen had thrown open the door, yelling something about men being wolves, and how Jumin should get away from you. The look he shot at Zen spoke volumes, mainly “leave us alone”, as he shut the door again, turning back to you

-”So.. Where did we leave off?”

*SAEYOUNG:

-He suggested this game as a joke but apparently everyone took it seriously

-whY DID HE SUGGEST IT

-Was fine until you decided to join, then he was Anxious™

-WHAT THE HELL WAS HE GONNA DO IF YOU PICKED HIM???

-Wait….what was he gonna do if yoU PICKED SOMEONE ELSE

-FUCK THIS GAME

-When you picked his name, he put his cool facade and pointed his finger guns at you and followed behind to the closet

-SO NERVOUS. He’s liked you from the start and tried so hard to conceal his feelings for you

-The two of you sat in the closet silently for a few minutes, and you started to think he hasn’t made a move because he didn’t like you. You couldn’t take it anymore and flat out asked him if he wasn’t interested in you, or what. He was in shock until he stuttered out a confession that he did like you, he was just extremely nervous to do anything. You shared his feelings though!!! Which definitely threw him for a loop, omg

-”Guess we should… kiss or something now then, huh?” well that’s kinda the point, silly

-You pulled his glasses off and leaned into him before pressing a chaste kiss against his lips- but that was just the tip of the iceberg. His hand tangled into the back of your hair, bringing your face back to his, kissing with immense passion that literally knocked the air out of your lungs. He only pulled away when he realized you couldn’t breathe anymore

-He was back to kissing you soon enough, and you slowly began to lay down as he hovered on his hands and knees above you. His lips traveled from yours down the right side of your neck, nipping it ever so slightly, and his left hand traveled up your thigh painfully slow.

-You locked your fingers together against the back of his neck, and he dug his teeth into the soft skin at the base of your neck. His hand traveled from your thigh to your hip, rubbing circles into it with his thumb. He whispered sweet compliments against your collarbone, kissing it in between each one.

-He grabbed the hem of your shirt, getting ready to pull it up over your head, but before he could, time was up and Saeran opened the door.

-”….I didn’t need to see this.” “Well then why’d you open the door, Saeran” “beCAUSE TIME IS UP YOU IDIOT, GET OUT”

-He pouted the rest of the night, refused to participate in the game anymore. He did, however, keep you close to him the whole time, whispering pick up lines to you every now and then

- especially when you were trying to take a drink, why would he do this

*SAERAN:

-No

-He didn’t agree to play this game

-But his idiot brother threw his name into the hat anyway, against his wishes

-He expected no less, though

-Already decided, no matter who he ends up with in the closet, he’s just going to sit there and not even talk. Absolutely everyone

-Well, almost everyone? If, say, you were to pick him, he’d be okay with that

-Never shows it though, why would he

-That’s not something for everyone to know. It was only for you to know

-But….he’s. Too. nervous. Or, more like he’s too scared you’ll reject him. Not to mention that in the back of his mind, he doesn’t believe he deserves you

-So when you pick his name out of the hat, he’s full of mixed feelings. Relief, fear, excitement, dread

-You have to drag him to the closet because he refused to go. When the door shut behind you, you told him the two of you could just sit in there, but you had to get in there so Saeyoung would shut up. He hummed a little in thought before whispering

-”But what if I do want to do something?”

-You thought you heard wrong, so you asked him to repeat himself. Instead of repeating what he said, he leaned close to your face and held your chin between his finger and thumb. He was slightly hesitant but kissed you with a fire behind it that shocked you. You definitely had nothing against it. No matter how hard you tried to match the passion, you couldn’t. He was always stepping it up, getting a little more rough, a little more sloppy, and your back made its way to the wall.

-Your shirt was pulled over your head quickly, his teeth shooting down to your shoulder, and his hands cupping your chest. He sporadically left light hickeys and bite marks across your shoulders and sides of your neck. His hands slid from your chest to your pants as he was about to pull them off. Before he had the chance, however, the door flung open and he tried to hide you from anyones eyes besides his own.

-Yoosung stuttered and apology but held his ground when he said time was up. He did, however, yelp and slightly run away when Saeran growled at him. Anything to get him away so you could put your shirt back on in peace.

-Extremely clingy the rest of the night. He finally let go and let you see how he felt about you, and you seemed to accept his feelings, might he even say that you reciprocate them. The look he gave you told you that he wasn’t finished with you yet

*ZEN

- this guy had the genius idea of playing the spin the bottle

- even if he has to kiss jumin, it’ll be worth it if he kisses you

- except he’s had to kiss Jumin like 5 times now??? hE DID NOT ASK FOR THIS

- and you’ve kissed literally everyone but him

- w h a t is happening

- he’s about to pull some teenage stuff here

- MAGNET IN BOTTLE AND HE’LL HOLD SOMETHING MAGNETIC

- YOU SPIN IT AND IT FINALLY LANDS ON HIM YEESSS

- you start moving towards him and then your phone rings he’s totally not tearing up

- you answer it and it turns out you have to go because you just called into work

- he’s holding back sobs

- well if he can’t kiss you, he will walk you back to work

- but when you two step out of Jumin’s house, hE FEELS HIMSELF BEING PUSHED AGAINST THE WALL AND YOUR LIPS ARE ON HIS???

- you’re so feisty MC, he figures out you don’t actually have work you just wanted to make out with him

- the rest of the RFA watches on Jumin’s security cameras

*JAEHEE

- omg she’s sooo not playing for this

- she does not want to kiss anyone in the RFA except for u, the risk is not worth it

- bUT YOU SHOW UP IN THIS SUPER HOT DRESS???

- can she play spin the bottle just with you

- she goes first and it lands on you!!! aAAAAA!!!!!

- she leans over to kiss you and is so surprised when you grab the neckline of her shirt and you desperately kiss her???

- initiate hot make out *lenny*

- you totally forget where and tHE GUYS ARE JUST WATCHING BC THEY DONT KNOW WHAT TO DO zen is a little turned on

- when jumin scoffs you both remember where you are and you pull away sO QUICKLY

- it’s so quiet and awkward no one knows what to do

- Jaehee gets up and grabs your hand to lead you to a private room

- you really think this boy would play spin the bottle?

- nah man nah, he likes you too much to risk kissing other people!!!

- gets a little sad when you decide to play

- you two aren’t even together V is just that dedicated to you

- he almost starts crying when he sees you kiss Seven

- mc why are u like this stop hurting my precious bEAN

- but after spin the bottle is over, he’s walking in a hallway and he feels himself get pulled into a room

- omfg uR PINNING HIM TO THE BED WHAT’S HAPPENING

- a hot night is what’s happening, buddy my pal

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nocturnalnok · 8 years ago

Text

omg omg the new chapter -screams into a pit- my thoughts and interpretations under the cut

Alright so bc I have a late start on the read of the new chapter bc of a stupid migraine I’m gonna compile all of my thoughts here in a list now that I finally got to read it ... this chapter was so damn interesting...

- this chapter is centered in another country which is already something that makes me super interested. a new point of view on ajin science and its history PLUS a flashback scene kinda? woooow

- ogura centric chapter??? OGURA CHAPTER. never thought I’d be this interested in this guy but yes I AM.

- ok so I read the spoiler translations from laura a buncha days ago and I was already expecting the best for suzuki but YES I LOVE HER and holy damn is she exceeding in my expectations. i’m in love with you and I will protect you at all costs-

- the way they show her waking up and in such intense close-ups is very intriguing to me. has sakurai ever introduced a character this way? makes me think of all those works where they show the protagonist that way in the first episode. she must become very relevant to the story later on (I hope). they could have named this chapter after her tbh it’s what this looks like..

- SHINYA FRIEND GUY is being watched and he is a corpse oops. Flood phenomena getting more relevant and I finally start to understand what it is about damn yeah. flood effecting mortal beings is very intriguing to me.

- also those scenes from chapter 0 in the bg of that one panel.. sakurai connects the first pilot chapter with the main story which makes the manga and its storyline feel more compact, a lot of chapters feel more smooth and connected now

- we get to know more about ogura’s time in the US and the story is not only about Japan anymore. Yes they did mention ajins in other countries too but now we finally GET to see ajins in other countries and how they are being treated.

- US ajins seem to have more “freedom” (at least among the facility...) compared to in Japan where they are literally stuffed away from the dissection table onto “research rooms” where they are tested and killed repeatedly and locked up in tube-like cells that feel more like spaces for corpses being stored in than for living beings. in the facility of maryland, despite being treated as “research samples”, the ajins can walk around freely, their freedom being restricted by GPS bracelets but at least they can presevere a bit of their humanity (they can go buy stuff at stores, talk to other humans, work as scientists and contribute in research, suzuki mentions she acquired more classifications and education after being brought to the US... that’s a hell of a lot more to me than tanaka could do. did he have a proper room or even a bed to sleep in? PROBABLY NOT).

- ogura’s view and stand on things is STILL considered weird even in the US where they have acquired way more knowledge than the Japanese that are having a more ignorant stance on ajin science it seems. (lots of things are considered “fantasies” or of the supernatural whereas the US is trying to find scientific proof...).

SO I thought whenever ogura was talking about stuff and other characters reacted with ??? that this was a Japanese thing but even an American ajin himself doesn’t get ogura’s words, so it seems he must be the exception among exceptions. Ogura wants to look at things in other angles and look at them simpler. He doesn’t see the flood as a phenomenon with two characteristics (emotions and high density of IBM) but two characteristics that are a result of each other, that are connected. Ogura’s out of the box thinking is unique and he is a damn genius if you ask me.

- The way Ogura interacts with Suzuki is just plain adorable. The fact that he became a researcher is just bc of one simple reason: he is interested. he is also interested in interacing with other ajin. i don’t think he likes to show it that much, but when he speaks with kei or other ajin there is this twinkle in his eyes, he is really excited. I love that.

- “it’s not god holding the dice, it’s humans”. wow I simply love that line. same as “the logic of the universe doesn’t apply to demihumans.” it means that you can’t just research ajins and measure them up to human standards. ajins are different. what humans do to ajin seems like gods, they try to restrict them, put certain restraints on them, even use them. emotions affect an ajin in a way that can’t be applied to humans, ogura understands that.

- Ogura left right after tanaka was taken into custody, which means there is a chance that he has met tanaka with his very own eyes and I’m wondering if tanaka was still mentally stable enough to be aware of that. it could change the way tanaka felt when he was in charge of capturing (kidnapping) ogura that time. What did he feel? And why did Ogura leave right then, was it just a coincidence or was there a reason behind it? ogura mentioned that he always shows up when a new ajin is taken in by the government, so maybe he flew to japan specifically to meet tanaka.

- Ogura is so dramatic af I love that too. his expressions are hella cute too.

- I like Jim’s design and his mannerism a lot. Friends told me he looks like Jesse from breaking bad. now I don’t know anything about the show but the fact that Sakurai probably literally drew this character based on him makes me really want to watch that show.

- suzuki died during a “random attack on the street”. what exactly happened? was is a random shooting? others were involved? what happened to poor suzuki??? she seems really glad to be able to live in the US now.

- ALSO: a hell of a lot of new canon dates which makes the writer in me SO VERY EXCITED.

- all in all a hell of a good chapter that needs to be reread again and again I believe. ^////^

#I'M HELLA HYPE RN #wow that was such a good read #ajin #ajin spoilers #my writing #long post #spoiler #personal

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read-red · 5 years ago

Text

Portrait #5

Welcome back to an other episode of Portrait, This time i’m joined by someone i met on Instagram (find her links at the end)

She’s a talented artist from Connecticut, without further ado :

I’m Bryan, i guess i’m Bryan the girl, i’m from New Haven Connecticut and i’m 23 Years old.

When did you start drawing ?

I’ve been drawing on and off my all life but i didn’t really think of my self as an artist until after college when i had to decide on a career. I had tried a lot of different careers and none of them have really felt right. I was bored in them, so i set down and had a good long think about what i could really envisioned myself doing as a career, the only thing i could come up with was art.

The problem was that i wasn’t a very skilled artist at the time. The list of things i was afraid to even attempt to draw was very long and so tackled that list by doing a new year’s resolution to draw every single day for a year. So i did, and i started to share my work and i started forcing myself to post on Instagram twice a day which was a lot, and i would never do that nowadays [sometimes she still does tho] but i didn’t had job at the time so i drew and drew and over time i got good .

Then people started to seeing my started paying me to do art and buying my art. I think i went through and arc of not drawing at all, drawing a little bit, drawing everyday all day and now that it’s my job i don’t draw as much, because i’m doing a lot of business too.

How did you get into drawing ? (tho’)

I’ve done a lot of different types of art, I’ve done traditional figure drawing, some painting… They don’t really teach pen art in school, like in a traditional classroom, it’s not part of the foundations. I was always drawn (ha ha) to it but i didn’t have chance to learn how to do it, so then i realized i would have to teach myself.

That’s what i worked on, i was figuring out how to make my drawings look like the drawings that i really liked in the old hatching and graving ways that i love in the renaissance…(a cute dog passed by and caught her attention:). So my challenge was to just teach my self over time, and that’s how i grew to love ink drawing : by learning out on my own.

How did you build yourself as an artist? Because there’s some construction going on. You can’t like be like « ok now i’m drawing , now i’m an artist » you know, there’s some kind of transition, like who am i as and artist, in what i do…

That’s a really hard question…

For a long time i felt so uncomfortable, saying that i was an artist. Because i either felt like i wasn’t legitimate , like i didn’t have the right to say that or like people would think that i was really egotistic or something. It feels lie saying you’re an artist carries a lot of weight to it.

And it feels like something you’re not allow to call yourself an artist, like you can’t call yourself a genius only other people can call you that and so i’m like i can’t call myself an artist other people have to decide.

But then at a certain point when it’s your career ad it’s all you do and earn a living you have to identify yourself as that. I will say that often times i will say that i’m an illustrator and not an artist. Because when you say that you’re an artist people think that you’re taking your cloth off on the street and screaming and like smearing chicken blood on your body or something but i’m just drawing so i think people get a clearer idea when i way illustrator.

How did you get your name?

Actually i used to be a musician and i remember i was on Soundcloud, way back this was like 7 years ago. I went by my full name, which is Bryan Schiavone ( Italian name ). It’s a very difficult name, and when people have name like that they somehow try to shorten them and nobody would ever be able to spell it or pronounce it so… One day i was on Soundlcoud i saw this person had a username that was whatever-Thegirl, and was like that’s so interesting i’m gonna do that for my name too. So when i started doing art i just kept the same name that i was using for my music. It’s so much simpler.

As a teacher, because you teach on Patreon and you have a podcast too, how does it feel like to teach ? You did some workshop too.

I’m still not fully comfortable with teaching because a part of me still think that in order to teach you have to be the best

A master ?

You have to be a master, and i’m not…i mean you just saw me struggling with my drawing earlier (she didn’t…she was so quick she was halfway through when i was still sketching….). I’m so afraid that i’m gonna be in this situation where a student turns to me and says how do i draw this tree ? And i go i don’t know that looks like a difficult tree… i can’t help you…. A part of being a good teacher is admitting that you don’t know how to do something and learning it with you students. It’s hard to know when to start teaching when you get to the point where you’re like : I’ve learned enough to share with people. I think it helped me just to have people ask me enough how do i do it and i started telling them and i guess that’s teaching.

And i think as a teacher you’re still learning, if you think that you’ve mastered and you’re not gonna learn from nobody any more then you’re closing yourself to new ideas and techniques.

And you’re a bad teacher and bad artist at that point…

Especially in art, you always have to learn something new, something new will always come to you.

When you began, how hard did you hustle ? How hard was it to get from Bryan to BryanThegirl ?

Oh my god, the hours that i put in , unpaid, over the past few years it’s just like… If i had known how much time it would take i would never have done it. Because i remember two years ago, i started selling my drawings for 15$ each. You know I’ve spent hours on these drawings and i was begging people to buy them every day like « i’m selling them i’m selling them ». I remember i made 100$ and i was like i’m making all this money… and even up after this past year i really couldn’t get any commissions and i kept advertising for them but nobody seemed interested. Even if they were interested they’d be so surprised of the cost which was incredibly low, like 30 dollars for a custom portrait. So they’d freak out and say « omg i don’t have money for that » and i would ask « how much money did you think you were gonna spend.

So there was a lot of just being rejected or not finding customers and then there was a lot of finding a lot of customers that would not pay me enough so i’d spend 10 hours doing something for 15$… Which is horrible and it made me unhappy but i guess i knew it was part of the journey, part of something that i had to do in order to get further along.

And then after working for hours and hours and not making money for years it all started to happen. Every body wanted commissions and i started saying no to people, i started raising the prices because i had to many request…

And you also you could afford to ask more

Because if they’d say « i’m not gonna give it to you » then i would get more free time anyway. One time i got a commission request for a tattoo and i didn’t really wanna do it, i wasn’t interested in it so i told the guy this crazy price and he was like « OK, if that’s how much it costs » … ugh* so now i have to do this tattoo request, i’m getting a really good price but i don’t really wanna do it, it was so strange, but in the end its fine.

Nowadays after doing all this commission work, pet portrait Christmas gifts and everything i’m starting to focus more on personal projects, book projects which i find more rewarding and exciting.

Did you think that at some point you should have quit ?

I thought that every single day for about a year. It was a combination of « i’m so tired » « my neck hurts » « my hand hurts » and « i hate this » and then also « this is crazy, i can’t do this i can’t just be an artist ». And everybody was telling me « you gonna have to get a normal job » « it’s not realistic, you should give up ».

I was going to, but i think what happens is that the craziest people just keeps going, all the reasonable people stop and then all the work goes to the people that stuck with it. If you can handle it financially and psychologically then you’ll probably be fine but the key is to not give up.

Yeah, i didn’t start any projects after my school so i can’t say I’m gonna quit because i didn’t do shit… you have to do this for like 2 or 3 years, get straight with your partner about it and then depending on how it goes you might wanna quit.

Yeah, you set a time frame and say « i’m gonna do everything i can in this time frame » and if i doesn’t work out then i’ll know I’ve tried everything and i don’t have to have any regrets i never have to have that dream anymore it’s dead so i can’t move on…

Even at a smaller scale when people come drawing with you and they quit after like 1 hour… that’s not it, i didn’t get here in 1 hour. It took me like 5 years and i’m not even good enough yet. So why would you quit (anything) after 1 hour ?

Everything that’s worth doing is difficult. That’s what i try to tell myself when i’m struggling with something. Would i want to do something that’s so easy that anyone could do it ? NO, the whole fun of it is knowing that you pushed through it.

Every great artist, Rembrandt like u mentioned, they did so many paintings you can’t really count the sketches and the little drawings just for fun, for learning and practice. In the end it was worth it.

What i love about these artist is that you can see their old sketches , like you can see Van Gogh, you an see his beginning sketches and say look he made « stupid » mistakes the same way i make mistakes and look at what he created…so it’s encouraging.

What feelings are you going through, right now, as an artist ?

Right now i’m at a transitional point, although i’d probably say that about every point on my career…hum

I got past the point of can i make it as an artist, can i earn a living. I answered it ; The answer is yes. So now that i’m out of that stress zone and i’m more confident on my ability to make money, the question for me is how do i wanna earn money ? What do i wanna do ?

And i’m starting to think about if i have the choice of doing commissions or working for and agency or doing publications or my own teaching/illustration, in a perfect world what does my life look like ? Because you start to be able to ask questions like that if things are going well. I’m starting to think i want to express myself more beyond just images. Like i wanna tell my story more i wanna talk about my life , i wanna talk about my feelings and i’m trying to find a way to do that. Part of it is done through being opened on social media. I also really wanna write more and illustrate things that are more personal to me and aren’t just still life and landscapes…i wanna share more of myself through my art.

Ofc that sounds like some hairy-fairy-lofty artist talk but I’ve been thinking about it a lot. How do i go from drawing apples and bananas to drawing how i feel inside?

Yeah, maybe that’s the goal we should all thrive to : expressing ourselves and tell a story.

Stories are like the heart of the human experience, it’s everything we do, all our relationships our lives…it’s all about communicating and telling stories. And i wanna contribute to that, i want my story to be a part of that because i love hearing other people’s stories.

At the end it’s tradition that i ask : if you could speak to you past-self or future-self which one would you choose and what would you say ?

My past-self. I think about that a lot because i had a really difficult childhood i was unhappy for most of my life until the past few years and….i don’t even think i would have said anything. If i had just seen as a young person that i would grow up and be OK and alive and have a career and be in love…if i just looked up at my adult self and knew that i was gonna be OK i’d be like « i can get through this ». I don’t think anything that i could say would communicate that. When i was younger i felt so lost and alone i felt like it would never end…if i just knew it would get better then it would have been easier…

It was a very interesting evening with Bryan. I’m really glad she came to Paris, meeting her made me want to hustle more and travel more. Talking with her felt educating and inspiring. I came a stranger, with a camera and recorder, and i left with emotions and stories of an artist i now call friend.

https://linktr.ee/bryanthegirl

Thank you for reading this portrait, it was very dense but i hope you enjoyed getting to know Bryan more, as i did.

#bryanthegirl #portrait #people #paris #red #buttes chaumont #nikon #olympus #film #photography #drawing #artist

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