#Often is right or I've been told my plots are better lol

[askbloatedbellyblog]

Would anyone care if as a kink blog I make dumb theory posts about shows/games/music and such? I realize it really doesn't matter but I'm wondering if I should shit post about Genshin Impact or Twisted or others.

[burnyouwithacigarettelighter]

PROVE IT ───

jackson rippner ✧𖦹

ೃ⁀➷ “You think you are possessing me / But I've got my teeth in you.” — ‘Unicorn’, Angela Carter

pairing. jackson rippner x reader

summary. after breaking up with your boyfriend. you meet a handsome stranger at a bar. you tell him your cunt’s better than the girl’s your boyfriend cheated on you with; he tells you to prove it.

warnings. swearing, slight breeding kink, unprotected sex, creampie, p in v, semi-public sex, porn with some plot, impact play, degradation/insults, SMUT UNDER THE CUT!

word count. 3.6k

a/n. i seriously doubt i wrote jackson’s character accurately in this so please comment anything i can improve on LOL🙏

It’s not often you spill your entire life story to a stranger at the bar, but this one, this stranger with his watery blue eyes and plush lips, is oddly inviting; charismatic to a fault. It makes you want to give him everything, and absently, in your alcohol riddled mind, you think he’d make a good scammer. 

Or, serial killer, whichever he prefers really.

But it's not entirely his fault; you’re stress drinking, downing too many shots in too little a time frame, and the alcohol’s already hit your system ten-fold. 

You’re there because you’d broken up with your boyfriend the night before. You’d been dating just short of a year. He was required to travel a lot, mostly in Europe, as per his job, and you let him go each time without qualms - love them, let them go, right? 

Wrong. He’d been cheating on you since he went to Copenhagen — four months, now — with a pretty little Dane that wanted to marry. 

You were furious when he told you, of course, it’s fucking insanity for him to marry someone he’s known for four months, but you began seeing all the differences between you and the woman he cheated on you with: she, a perfect homemaker, you, a distressed professional he saw maybe once a month. 

“Hey, hey, don’t beat yourself up,” the stranger across from you said softly, breaking you out of your nostalgic stupor and back into reality. “‘cause he’s a right asshole. For cheating on you like that.”

The man had entered the bar hours after you did, housing a simple drink or two and absently watching the softball game on the bar TV, before you drunkenly inched closer to him, desperate to rant your dilemma to just about anyone who’d listen. He bit, and here you were now.  

You peered up at the man, inspecting him. He’s gorgeous, definitely, but you can’t tell if you actually think that, or your foggy, not-been-fucked-for-months mind just wants him to rail you into next week. 

No matter, you thought, downing another shot. It burned the back of your throat sweetly, fire trailing down your insides. “M’not beating myself up,” you protested weakly, “jus’ — m’just… wondering if her cunt was - so much better than mine,” 

He laughed, boisterously, the kind of laugh you hear rumble out from a close friend while you detail every wrongdoing or shameful memory in your life: he’s comfortable right now, as are you.

“Well,” he inched closer, large hand sitting itself on your thigh and slowly inching upwards, “if it bothers you that much, why not prove it? That your pussy’s as good as you think.” 

This wasn’t the first of his attempts to flirt with you: firstly he’d tucked a stray hair away from your face, later he swiped a drop of drink off your lip, then he’d clutched you by the waist, pulling you close to him when someone squeezed past you in the crowded bar. His brisk touch wasn’t unfamiliar by any means, but it did suggest more than the other ones, especially coupled with the lustful words he was purring in your ear. 

Then, there’s a gap in your memory. One too many shots, a stranger toying with the hem of the skirt you donned for the bar, and his sweet voice in your ear was too much for your dizzy head, and the only thing you remember is this: one moment, he’s getting braver, rough fingers ghosting the sensitive skin of your inner thigh, and the next, you’re pressed against a bathroom stall wall, the handsome stranger’s knee pushing your quivering legs apart. 

You’re trading wet, messy kisses, and his hands are sneakily climbing up your shirt till they reach your chest. There’s a sharp intake of breath from him: “Fuck, sweetheart, no bra? You really were looking for someone to prove you right,” he cooed, touching your breasts needily. 

He’s kneading you artfully, fingers pawing at your flesh like he’s never felt something so soft, so plump. Your back arches as he does this; you’re practically putty in his hands. 

It doesn’t slip past you that you’re being felt up in a bar bathroom by a gorgeous stranger whom you don’t know the name of, but you don’t care. “Please,” you beg, his name coming up completely blank on your tongue, “please.”

“‘Please’ what, honey?” The stranger says huskily, one of his hands moving from your breasts up to your jaw, pushing it to the side to gain access to your neck. “Please kiss me? Finger me? Fuck me?”

You’re too drunk - and fucking horny - to deal with his theatrics, so you whine instead of answering, your weak fingers carding through his brown locks. 

“God,” he says, “How long has it been since you’ve been properly fucked? Just some touching and you’re already too fucking dumb to speak.”

His words make your cheeks burn with shame, but it also makes your core throb. The oh-so sweet stranger who listened to your problems all night telling you you’re just a dumb horny bitch is such a juxtaposition it's got you all hot and bothered. 

“Please,” you beg again, more desperate than before, “I need you.” 

The man let out an incredulous chuckle, head cocking back. “Baby, don’t tell me you like it like that. God, you’re such a fucking whore,” he said, before undoing his belt buckle and fly. 

He had noticed how your legs clenched around his knee, how your breathing got sharper as soon as the words “dumb” and “whore” slipped out of his pretty mouth, how your fingers trailed his back needily, desperate for any kind of touch. 

You bit your lip, watching the stranger through bleary, hooded eyes. He’d pulled his pants down just enough for his boxer shorts to be visible, before he grabbed you by the waist and turned you to press your face against the wall. 

One of his arms then draped across your shoulders, pinning you down and arching your back, hard, making your ass press flush against the large tent in his underwear. You let out a small gasp at the feeling, and you could practically see the smirk curling slyly on his face. 

He can’t be that big, right? It was just your drunk mind, making him feel bigger than you thought through his shorts. Plus, you hadn’t been fucked in over a month — you were probably just not used to it. 

Because, that’d be totally unfair - he’s beautiful, charming, an amazing kisser, and has a huge cock? No fucking way — if he was all that, he’s definitely a secret terrorist, or something. 

However, these days, you’ve learned that you don't have the best intuition. First, with your boyfriend, then again, with the man who just pulled out his thick cock, stroking it gently. 

“Oh, fuck,” you cursed, head straining to look at him behind you. Unconsciously, you shyly closed your legs at the sight of him. 

“Ah, ah, ah,” the man crooned, his other hand sliding between your legs and spreading them apart once more. “No take backs, honey. You did say you wanted me, did you not?”

The two of you were flush against each other, and you could feel his hard length resting between your legs. Just that, just him between you, already had you trembling in anticipation. 

“Then fuck me already,” you bit back, feigning confidence. In actuality, you were thinking: how was all that supposed to fit? And, of all people, you, who hadn’t been stretched out to fit any cock at all, not since last month, when your boyfriend made his routine visit. You were a loyal girl, alright, and your fingers never went as deep as any cock could.

But the moment for you to reveal your worries passed, and he simpered. “So fucking eager.” 

Then, his large hands smoothed down the swell of your ass, following the curve, before he lifted his hand up and came down on your cheek, making a loud noise reverberate throughout the empty bathroom. 

Your breath caught in your throat, a choked gasp mixed with a tense moan coming out instead, and you flushed. Thank god you were pressed against the cold bathroom stall wall, for it provided a miniscule relief to your burning face. 

He’d spanked you, and you fucking moaned. 

“So you do like it dirty.” he cooed, fingers returning and hooking into the waistband of your panties. 

“I bet,” he said, dragging the thin fabric down extremely slow, “that you didn’t come to the bar tonight to just drink,” he pressed closer against you, your folds now sitting right above his thick length, “you came, with no bra and a slutty skirt on, looking to get fucked senseless, didn’t you?”

He slowly slid in and out against your folds, his cock just barely grazing your clit, and you swore you could have screamed. The way he was teasing you was absolutely delectable and, in the same vein, incredibly torturous. 

“Answer me, honey.” he hummed, free hand rubbing circles on the skin of your hip. 

You let out an exasperated groan. “I - I came here tonight, to - ah!” you squeaked when the fat tip of the man’s cock poked your tight hole. 

“You came here tonight to… what?” He said, nonchalant, as if he wasn’t slowly driving his large dick into you. 

“I came here to…” you squeezed your eyes shut, trying to ground your thoughts, and squarely not think about how mouthwateringly good the handsome strangers cock felt, “to get—“

Then, the loudest keen you’d ever heard tore out of you, your eyes rolling into the back of your head, when he suddenly shoved all of his length into your soaking cunt. 

He bottomed out with a breathy laugh, watching your knees buckle and your mouth hang wide open. Then, once more, his calloused hand came down on your ass, a large crack sounding out within the bathroom. 

“Shut the fuck up, whore. Someone’ll hear.” The stranger said, as if he hadn’t just made a loud noise spanking you like that. 

But the way he insulted, complemented, mocked and teased all in a few sentences had you shuddering; never in your life did you think such dirty words could make you so wet. 

You barely kept in another whine, waves of pleasure ebbing throughout your body. The burning pain of the spank in combination to how your walls squeezed around his cock had you barely coherent, your face taut with pleasure. 

“Fuck, baby, you’re dripping all over my cock,” he whispered, leaning down for you to hear. As he did so, however, his dick pressed further into you, and another helpless groan rolled off your tongue. 

“But you’re too goddamn loud.” The stranger growled, and the arm of the hand that was pressing you against the wall shifted, now covering your mouth. 

Before you could protest, he slid out, then snapped into you. Immediately, you saw stars, and a muffled mewl slipped past your lips. 

“Jesus christ,” he murmured, “your little fuckhole’s taking me so well.” He began to slide in and out at a fast, rhythmic pace, so fast you could barely comprehend the ecstacy you were feeling. 

“Oh my god,” you barely stuttered out past his large hand. He was pounding in and out of you relentlessly, selfishly, no regard for your moans or helpless whines, merely focussed on thrusting his fat cock into your sweet cunt. 

Then, the both of you heard the bathroom door open, and you froze. The handsome stranger moved quickly, grabbing you by the waist and planting you on his lap as he sat down on the toilet. His other hand, still trained on your mouth, gripped tighter than ever when he felt the groan bubble up from your throat: this new position of you on his lap had his long length pressed right against your cervix.

“Now you really gotta be quiet, honey,” he whispered, pressing his face into your neck. You shut your eyes helplessly, a dejected whimper exiting your mouth. 

“Just be fucking quiet. You don’t want everyone in this bar to know what a dirty slut you are, spreading your legs for a fucking stranger in the bathroom, right?” He said, words foul and like poison, but actions completely stark to it: he was pressing sweet, chaste kisses on your shoulder, laying his head on your back. 

The man in the other stall was taking so fucking long to finish, and, despite the stranger’s words, he began to slowly rut into you, his large hands coming to rest on your hips and help you slide up and down on his cock.

Your eyes widened. “What are- ah, wh— what are you doing?” you said, a stuttered, hesitant moan leaving  your mouth, but you were completely without the motivation to actually stop him: the pleasure you felt earlier had increased immensely in this slower, riskier pace he took on. 

“Shh,” was all you saw him say, as you strained your neck to look at him. He looked the epitome of smug, lips curled, cheeks flushed attractively, strands of hair falling down onto his forehead.

Without his hand to muffle your groans, you muffled them yourself, biting down on your tongue. One hand of yours gripped onto the stranger's thigh to keep your balance, and your other hand sneakily traveled down to your wet, hot mound, fingers beginning to rub at your clit. 

He noticed this, however, hand gripping at your wrist and pulling you back to pin your arm behind you. “Only I get to touch you,” he snarled, “because this fuckin’ pussy’s all mine. Gonna be all mine.”

You let out a shaky exhale at his words, but you found your cunt more flexible than before, the soft slapping of your skin between each other sounding easier, wetter. Jesus, did you really get more turned on by what he’d said?

Finally, the person who had wandered in and entered the stall beside you exited the bathroom entirely, and you belted out a sharp moan with how the stranger swiftly picked you up and pressed you against the wall once more, this time facing him. 

He plunged his big cock into you like nothing before, animalistically, nails digging so hard into your hips you swore he drew blood. His pace was stuttered, desperate, like nothing could distract him from pounding into you, not even a fucking meteor. 

You, on the other hand, were arching, the pleasure taking your body over completely. Your hands carded through his brown hair, tugging when he hit that particularly spongy spot into you. He groaned, a rough and stuttered thing, feeling himself brush against that spot every time. 

Your tight cunt was stretching and contracting around his dick, like you were made with his fat length in mind, and it drove you up the fucking wall: the pain in your hip, the cold linoleum wall, his cock thrusting in and out — it was all so much, and your orgasm began to spill out from under you. It was slow, like water coming out of an overfilled glass.

“You — god, you’re fucking coming, aren’t you,” the stranger said knowingly. Your cunt had gotten tenser, stickier, trying to grip at him like you were afraid he’d never come back to you. 

You nodded rapidly, opting to do so in fear an unintelligible string of groans would come out instead of your words. 

He grinned, and lifted your legs to wrap around his waist, allowing his cock deeper access into you. Your toes curled, the new angle like being impaled, his dick easily slipping past your slick folds. 

One of his hands lifted off your hip and trailed across your lower stomach, “Can you feel that, honey? Its my fucking cock, so deep m’gonna shoot my come right in your womb,” he purred, pressing the bulge. 

Both of you were affected, a breathy grunt slipping past his lips, and you a feverish mewl. You couldn’t believe how big he was, large enough for him to be fucking visible on you from the outside. 

Suddenly, you remembered the man’s name: he’d said it, offhand, to the bartender before you dragged him to the bathroom. He asked the bartender to put your drinks on his tab, under the name Jackson. 

You face grew taut, your orgasm suddenly switching from a slow, sneaky drip to a hard smack, right across your face. “Jackson! Jackson, please,” you moaned at last, his name sounding right at home on your tongue. 

“Fuck, honey, you remembered? God, that’s so hot,” He whispered sweetly, then dragged you through your orgasm, thick cock pounding in and out of your throbbing core. 

It was like all the pleasure had steadily built up within your insides, all up into a big ball, then had suddenly burst, flowing throughout your entire body like you weren’t already being fucked relentlessly. 

“Such a - fuck - tight and pretty pussy,” he said, leaning into rest his head against your chest. You were weak, sensitively riding out your high, but you knew Jackson wasn’t quite as close. 

His thrusts began getting sloppier, harsher and focussed merely on feeling your walls against every inch of him. Your head rested beside his own, your eyes practically crossing with the overstimulation. 

Despite your orgasm, your cunt was still soaking, definitely dripping and marking a wet patch on both your skirt and his pants. It made you tremble, thinking of you two tiredly exiting the bathroom, disheveled and having to cover the other up. 

At this point, you didn’t know what kind of filthy fucking noises were exiting your mouth, with Jackson’s grunts and groans covering up your whines completely.

“M’gonna come,” he said a few long moments later, almost inaudible. “Say my name, say who owns this tight fucking pussy.”

“You do! Jackson does!” You exclaimed, his cock ripping in and out of you quicker and more jolted. “Jackson owns this pussy!”

Jackson grinned weakly, and with one final, harried thrust, he let go deep within you. He clenched his jaw, piercing blue eyes shutting tight and losing himself within the warm and wet feeling of your cunt squeezing him for every drop. 

You were so fucking full, and even when Jackson pulled his softening cock out of you — which, was still huge despite its idleness — you felt stuffed to the brim. 

His come dripped down your leg, and he promptly pulled your panties up, patting your worn out cunt as he did so. “You’re taking all my fucking come, so good honey.” he said, pressing a hungry kiss to your neck. “You were right: this cunt’s better than whoever your shit ex cheated on you with.”

“Told you so.” You gazed up at him through heavy-lidded, gleeful eyes. He was an absolute darling sweetheart, it seemed, switching from degradingly fucking you to romantically praising you. “Are you… up for round two?” you said, as he slipped his hand within your own, clasping tightly. You didn’t really mean round two - though, you wouldn’t protest it, especially with his delectable way of fucking you - you actually just wanted to go home with him… see where this relationship could lead you.

“Sweetheart, you don’t have to ask. You’re comin’ home with me tonight,” he saw through you cheekily, pulling you close to him. 

So, you did go home with him, and in the morning you laid beside him in the ruffled white sheets, counting the freckles on his face.

His eyes fluttered open when you shuffled. “Were you watching me?” he said, voice low and sleepy. 

You nodded silently, your hand coming up to pet his skin comfortingly. After a beat passed, you asked the question that was bothering you all morning. “Jackson, you wanted to fuck me first, right?”

He blinked, tense for a moment, before smoothing out his expression. “What?” he opted on saying instead, sounding every bit clueless and entirely convincing.

Not convincing enough for you, however. “Baby, you think I didn’t notice the shots you were calling over and inching toward me? I was drunk, not stupid.”

“Are you saying I took advantage of you?” He said darkly, a side of him otherwise unknown to you ‘till now. 

You raised a judging brow. “No need to be offended. I wanted to see where it was going to go: ‘did the handsome stranger want to fuck me, or did he want to kill me?’.”

He pulled you close to him, his arm snaking around your hips. “So, what are you saying?” he said, pressing a patronizing kiss to your forehead. 

“Hm. Well, I jus’ wanna know if this is a one nightstand.”

“And you don’t care about the - drinks, the “taking advantage” part?”

You let out a laugh. “I was confident, darling; I keep pepper spray and a pocket knife in my purse. Even if you did - which you didn’t - I’d make it out alive.”

Jackson bit his lip, looking up at you. This had meant to be a one night stand, considering the job he had, but you were looking at him so sweetly, so accepting, like you secretly knew what he did for a living and wanted him despite it. 

“Not a one night stand,” he murmured, leaning into your touch. 

You beamed, and, later, when you did find out what he did for a living, you merely cocked your head. Thought about it… outweighed the pros, the cons, (and the fact you were completely right: he was perfect, but also a fucking sociopath), and merely shrugged. 

“Honey, you’ll never do anything to me. Why should I care what you do for a living? Just don’t,” you warned, staring at him like you could and would fucking kill him, “cheat on me.” 

You didn’t have the best intuition. And, as it turned out, a great moral compass, either. 

[auroragreenvale]

Peter Pevensie Story - Untitled Pt1

Okay.... another one... another story I've been writing for who knows how long but just don't feel like finishing. Its chapters and notes and rambles and brain dumps. Just stuff lol. Peter Pevensie was my first crush fr and I love this story. Its based on The Selection series and Narnia of course. It started as a story I would play in my head before falling asleep and one night the dialogue and plot was so vivid that I sat up in bed and started writing it on my phone. I actually loved writing this but I honestly didn't fully know where the story was going. There are some plot point in my head that may not even be written down but I didn't really have a full plot. I also started writing with it formatted like a script. Some of it is not correctly formatted and may not even say who is speaking (yikes!). But I am proud of what I did write and we shouldnt be so scared to share something unfinished. Maybe it can inspire someone else! Hope you enjoy.

*and if anyone can think of a good title let me know LOL

---

Fluff, mild angst, he falls first and harder, arranged?? sorta to lovers

--

Angelina sighed. “You will have to choose a gown to wear eventually. Mother is a talented seamstress but she cannot work magic. The ball is in three days.” 

“I am trying but none of these gowns feels like the right one to wear to my first ball.” Her older sister laughed.

“ My dear sister, we are not nearly wealthy enough for you to wear ‘the right gown’. You must make due.” 

“Maybe not the right gown but there must be something better than these. You couldn’t truly picture me wearing any of these. I’d look like… I was pretending to be you! And I know you have at least a few more…” she said letting her words hang in the air hopefully.  Angelina sighed. “Would you please go and get them for me? After all, a girl only attends her first ball once”. 

She could not help but smile at her younger sister's excitement. She loved attending balls and she loved her sister. Angelina was positively beaming every time she thought of sharing such a special night with her closest sibling and being able to bring her just a little more joy. She returned with three more gowns, the three she had deemed not suitable for this particular ball. It was currently very common in Narnia at the moment to wear darker colors and often velvet if one could afford it. Particularly this ball would be a sea of reds, purples, and greens because although the ball was being held for the High King to find a wife, it was truly Queen Susan’s ball. She was known for throwing the most spectacular parties in all of Narnia. While she knew how to host sophisticated parties for diplomats and visiting royals, she most loved celebrating lavishly with her subjects. A deep turquoise was said to be her color, which adorned her coronation cape so many years ago, along with the deep red that often kissed her lips. If she was putting on a ball, the people honored her with the colors in which she felt the most beautiful. While y/n admired her queen and all she had heard about her, she felt somewhat of an impostor in these royal hues. But she knew exactly which gown she would ask her mother to alter to her correct size as soon as her sister placed it down. She remembered watching her sister depart for the ball, wearing this gown. Y/n had believed it to be the most beautiful thing she had ever laid her eyes on and she realized not much had changed when she looked at it. She could not remember the specific stories she had been told about this particular party, just that her sister seemed to glow even more than usual when she had returned home from her night of dancing. The fabric was light and plenty. It flowed in waves of white, gold, and pink hues and she looked at it, almost afraid to touch it. While she knew her sister was right, that her mother could not perform any magic, she had the strangest and most delightful feeling that the dress itself might be able grant her a wish. She just knew this night would be special. After all, Narnia was full of magic. 

~~~~~~

“Why have I not seen you before,” the mystery man asked as they danced.

“Would there have been a reason for you to lay eyes upon my face prior to this moment?” He laughed in response. 

“I just mean– I have attended quite a number of balls here at Cair Paravel and I am usually somewhat familiar with everyone in attendance.” She furrowed her brows mischievously which made him smile. 

“Well I do so apologize for ruining your sense of ease and comfort but I do assure you I am here on no account of ill will but simply to enjoy this splendid party.” He laughs again at her words, just barely.

“No, do not apologize for you have so far added much excitement to a night I expected to be like any other.” At that moment the music picked up and they focused on the intricate footwork of the quick and jovial dance until the music changed again. She expected him to end their dance and find another partner as the musicians slowed their pace, but his hold on her stayed firm and his feet never paused. He spoke again after a while. 

“You did not answer my question.”

“Do remind me what it is that you inquire.” She smiled as she remembered quite well actually.

“Why is this the first ball at which I have seen you in attendance? Are you visiting from a neighboring kingdom? Hoping to win the King’s affections and he yours?” He asked this casually, almost playfully but he was very interested in her answer. Of all the women there whose intentions were precisely that, she had so far been the most successful. Unwittingly winning the attention and intrigue of the King. But he was still unsure. 

“Well, if I am to be completely honest,” she didn’t know why she felt any need to be, “my family does not have much money. At least not enough for us to eat and have shelter and also attend a ball. I have many siblings but… it is my eldest sister that has the privilege of attending the balls. It is somewhat of an investment you see. My mother and father hope that she may win the hand of a wealthy suitor. It’s sort of ridiculous I know because she would just be whisked off with him, no thought of our family crossing his mind… I’m sorry, what was I…? Oh well, she’d always tell me stories of the lovely balls she attended and I dreamed of seeing if only one. And since this very ball seemed to be such a special occasion, my mother fixed up an old gown of my sisters and allowed me to attend. I know that it's dreadfully out of season but truthfully I’ve never felt more regal. I know it's funny to think myself regal, I’ve heard our queens to be more radiant than the sun but… I feel very lucky to be here and in such a beautiful frock.” She spun out of his arms at that moment as was part of the dance. While every other pair in the ballroom turned, he stayed put, staring at her in awe. She turned back to face him and continue their dance she realized he had been studying her. This made her self conscious and she moved to look away from his intense gaze but he placed a hand on the side of her face before she could.  

“I think you look the very picture of a queen.” He spoke with such seriousness that she was stunned and unsure how to react. They stayed like that for some time until she noticed people staring.

“Shall we continue with our dance? People are beginning to stare. We must be blocking the dance floor.”

“Let them stare.” He continues taking in her features for a few more moments. “But if you insist, let us return to our dance.” She smiles softly at this, taking his hand again. The music, having changed again in their pause, is much slower. He pulls her in closer and moves them smoothly across the floor as a pair. 

“Might I learn the name of whom such a beautiful visage belongs to?” Then it was her turn to laugh.

“Why, you flatter me so. I truly did not expect such attention from my first ball,” she said sincerely. There is a pause and he looks at her expectantly. She concedes. 

“It is y/n.”

“It is beautiful. A name as such I would be bold to think, would sound so lovely falling from my lips forever.” She is taken aback, but only for a moment before she responds.

“And might I inquire as to the name of the gentleman before me?”

“Peter, I need to speak with you. It is urgent.” Peter stops, his look of adoration turning quickly to one of annoyance. While the fondness in his gaze made you slightly nervous, you decided you much preferred his tenderness to the frustration you currently saw, although it was not aimed at you. A beautiful woman clothed in deep blue had appeared behind him, causing him to pause your dance.

“Su, can’t you see I’m in the middle of something,” he asks, shortly. 

“You know I hate to be torn away from a ball more than anyone but you’ll have plenty of time for this later. The present matter must be attended to immediately. I trust you will see to the affairs of your kingdom above the affections of a maiden.” He winces at her words but steadies himself. You look between the two of them and notice for the first time that the woman wears a delicate crown of gold, placed atop her dark brown hair. Peter… Su… Susan. Queen Susan. In an instant, it dawns on you and you are grateful you had not yet indulged in any of the refreshments as you feel your stomach churn. The woman, the Queen, must have noticed the look on your face and mistaken you feeling unwell for something else. She spoke and you had to concentrate very hard to hear what she said. The music was suddenly very loud. 

“Do forgive me. I do seem to have forgotten my manners. I hope you are enjoying a pleasant evening and that you have not mistaken my frustrations with my brother as any reflection on my feelings toward you. But I do have to ask for a moment of his attention as it truly is urgent.” She gives him one final, stern look and walks away, trusting he will follow. Peter turns to you quickly but as his hand reaches up to graze your cheek, you feel as though he was moving in slow motion. He held you ever so lightly, as if afraid you might blow away and become lost in the wind. He speaks. almost urgently.

“I will return shortly. Wait here?” You do not know how to answer him but even if you did, you think you would presently be unable to call upon your own voice. 

“Please?” You nod, sensing his urgency, knowing you must give him an answer. You notice how gently he once again speaks, now that you are his only audience. With a small smile and a quick nod of his head, he hastily exits the ballroom. For a moment, all you can do is stand there, as couples dance swiftly around you, until you realize you are unsure if you are able to uphold the promise you just made. The promise to the High King. You could not possibly break it and risk his offense at your disrespect. But you cannot possibly wait for his return for one more second. Your feet move you before you know where it is you're going. Searching for you sister, you paced the perimeter of the ballroom now very aware 

So next she will be leaving and literally run into peter as he is returning and they lock eyes and he can tell she looks freaked tf out and then he notices Oreius standing outside the ballroom and looks at him as if to ask him to watch out for her because he is afraid she’ll leave. So he asks whats shes doing and she says she just needed some air and hes like would you mind if I escorted you to the gardens they are lovely at night so they go outside and are talking ab the kings and queens and hes like lol what ab that one thats likes u loll and shes like what and then yeah idk from there

they need to exchange names at some point lol (tn and orieus)

orieus: Good evening miss where are you off to?

She whipped around, slightly frightened at hearing a voice but comforted upon seeing its source.

yn: Oh I just needed to step out for a moment. Thought I might benefit from a bit of fresh air.

orieus: Well in that case might I escort you to the gardens. They are lovely at night.

yn: Oh I couldn’t remove you from your post, I shall be alright inside.

orieus: Nonsense I am entitled to a few moments of respite and I personally like to spend them in the gardens.

yn: You’re sure you wouldn’t mind too terribly having me interrupt your break?

orieus: I’d love the company. 

Time skip they are walking around in the gardens

yn: You were right about the gardens. They’re exquisite. She grows excited at her next thought. And you get to visit them whenever you please? He laughs slightly at her amusement

orieus: Yes. It is a wonderful perk of my job

yn: And what might that job be?

orieus: I am the general of the royal army and presently I also serve as the head of palace security.

yn: That does sound to be a rather large responsibility on your shoulders.

orieus: Well I couldn’t have anyone else protecting the home of my kings and queens. I could not trust the ability of another when it came to their precious lives.

yn: It sounds like you care for them very much.

orieus: Indeed. I helped welcome them to Narnia when they first arrived. I watched them grow into brave warriors and just rulers. They have been more than kind to me. They are friends and I have given my service to them. 

yn: They sound wonderful.

orieus: I should be glad you think so. And what of the High King himself?

She cannot see but Orieus is grinning. 

yn: Well I have yet to form much of an opinion and I do inquire as to what has caused your curiosity in the matter.

orieus: He did wear quite the look of concern upon seeing your exit from the ballroom. And I know the High King well enough to understand that it was not the general concern of a good host. Were you introduced to him at the ball?

yn: Not exactly. Might I confide in you something that I am somewhat ashamed to admit?

orieus: Of course.

He looked down in worry and realized she was smiling.

yn: Well I was dancing with him and we were making conversation and for the duration of our time together I did not know him to be the High King. They both laughed jovially. This is my first visit to Cair Paravel and I have never seen a picture of his majesty. And to concern matters further he was not wearing his crown. It's as if he meant to trick me!

orieus: I can assure you King Peter’s intentions were not of something so malicious. They laughed still. He likes to enjoy these events as anyone might. Forget the duties of the High King. If only for a little while as you saw. The Queen Susan, she is not one to forget her duties.

yn: I gathered… I ought to be returning now I presume… The High King did request quite some time ago that I wait for him to return. Why do you think he would want me to wait? Perhaps I disrespected him or--

orieus: It seems as if he is quite taken with you. 

yn: Oh… you don’t-- you don’t really think so do you? He looks at her knowingly and she is suddenly uncomfortable. Might we discuss something else for the remainder of our journey back to the palace? Tell me more about yourself. I’m sure you have great stories of your battles. 

They talk and he brings her back to the ballroom. Upon reentering the room, she notices the High King atop his throne, his own gold crown now sat upon his head. He is different now, she can tell from across the room. No longer the charming young man she danced with who loves so quickly, but a man hardened by war and the weight of a kingdom. His handsome youth was replaced by a stoic beauty and maturity. She could not deny that he looked magnificent against the gold of his crown but she also knew that she grew intimidated within his regal presence. She tried to move from the doorway in which she stood to across the room from where the king’s gaze wandered but she knew it was of no use. She had insisted on wearing this gown, colored lightly of champagne instead of one of darker jewel tones as was in style. She knew he would find her the second his eyes landed on the billowing (light in color) fabrics between the velvety layers of crimson and violet. She looked for her sister hoping to engage in conversation as to appear occupied but as she looked back toward the singularly occupied throne, her eyes met with the High King’s. He shot up from his royal chair, his reason for sitting there quickly forgotten. She almost ran before realizing how unbecoming of a lady it would be and remembering who she would be running from. How ridiculous to run from a king at his own ball? So she stood still and he reached her side quickly. Before he could speak, she dropped into a low curtsey like her mother had always taught her when she and her siblings would imagine visiting the palace. She did not stand back up quickly, instead enjoying how this stance allowed her gaze to remain at the floor instead of the man before her. He sighed. 

peter: You… you do not have to do that. She stayed there, perhaps even bowing a little lower. Please will you look at me? He reached out, placing his fingers under her chin, startling her. She quickly stood upright and took two steps back. She always believed she would attend a ball and dance the night away. It sounded so easy, so effortless. But now she was overthinking her every gesture, every word. She was here in front of the High King and while his erratic actions seemed careful and sincere, she could not help but be frightened. Her small Narnian village held no expectations for her but now she was in Cair Paravel with its most important resident and she hadn’t a clue as to how she should behave or what she should do. 

yn: I’d like to apologize, your majesty, if I any of my actions have upset you--

peter: The only thing that upset me was when you left after I asked you to stay. He spoke in a gentle voice but she flinched at his words of authority. Although Orieus expressed his belief at the King’s feelings, she was worried still. All that she had been taught by her parents was taking over and she could only think of herself a subject to her King. Never could she imagine being the object of his affection. Not-- I mean, I was concerned that I had done something to upset you. And I was worried you didn’t want to continue our dance. I was having a lovely time with you this evening. She spoke before realizing

yn: Why did you not tell me you were king? He looked as if he might chuckle. She however, thought this was no laughing matter. 

peter: Well it hadn’t crossed my mind really. I usually do not have to introduce myself, especially not in my own palace. 

yn: You didn’t think it odd when I did not curtsey or fall at your feet? There was a bite in her tone and he noticed. She was horribly embarrassed and he was laughing that arrogant laugh. She felt as if she were talking to a different person. Damn that crown.

peter: No I found it refreshing. While people do not usually fall at my feet… he bit back, but he smiled nonetheless it has been a while since I was able to meet someone as just Peter. And I do hope you will continue to think of me as nothing more… and that we may continue our dance. He held out his hand for her to take. She reluctantly placed her hand atop his, and quickly her face was shining again. And for that Peter could not help but grin at the sight of her radiant smile as they began to dance once more. 

yn: It is very hard to think of you as anything less than my king when you wear that crown. 

peter: It is no different than any piece of jewelry you might adorn.

yn: My necklaces do not come with such responsibility. And... people do not usually stare whenever I wear them. She found the thought amusing.

peter: Considering your beauty it would seem as though people could not help but to stare always. She did not know how to respond. He truly knew how to leave her speechless. But if it shall make you feel any better… he stopped their dancing and unclasped their hands. The other he left on her waist she noticed as he removed his crown and looked quickly around him. Ed! He called out to someone and a tall young man wearing a matching silver crown turned to face the High King. Peter smirked at the younger king’s questioning look  as he held out his own crown. Would you mind holding this for me Edmund? It is getting in the way of our dancing. She almost laughed in amazement. He restored their previous position, ready to continue guiding her across the floor, when Edmund spoke.

edmund: I’m glad to see you’ve resumed your dancing, I would’ve hated to hear Susan yell at you about your responsibilities again. She thought little of this, not connecting this ball with any sort of responsibility besides greeting his subjects and enjoying a night with them. Edmund laughed as he spoke then turned to the girl his brother held. I’m Edmund. I hope you haven’t found my older brother too insufferable. If so I do apologize, I’ve tried to tell him about being such a bossy git all the time. Peter rolled his eyes at his little brother. Not knowing quite why, she felt an intensely comforting presence in Edmund that reminded her of her own brother.

yn: No, only a little bossy but I think I will be able to manage for the remainder of the evening. 

edmund: Well then I presume that for your own sake I should hope you are not invited back to the palace. But for my own I shall wish for your return so that we might team up against my brother some more. She gasped suddenly, one hand leaving Peter’s shoulder to cover her mouth in shock. She had remembered something. You’re supposed to be dancing with the eligible women here! That’s what this ball is being held for! You need to find eligible girls to court and here you are dancing with me. Oh I feel so stupid! How much of your time have I wasted? I do apologize-- as she babbled on she began to walk away. Peter grabbed her hand ever so softly and turned her back to him. Edmund has already turned back to the group he had been speaking with before.

peter: And are you not eligible?

yn: Well I-- I am the second born and my sister is here to meet you not I. But even if I was I am not fit for… this! She gestured almost wildly around the room. I’m sorry your majesty but I must go and allow you to spend some time with the other maidens. I do thank you for the dance, and for chasing me around the ballroom, as it has made my first party here most eventful. And I wish you the best of luck in finding your bride. She curtsied one last time and turned away, promptly leaving his side. 

Omg so they get a letter from the palace (bc all of the girls in attendance do) saying whether or not they are invited to come stay at the palace to court the high king and the letter arrives and her sister is so excited and they open it and its for her not the sister. Shes thinking its got to be a mistake and she hasn't told anyone about them dancing so they all go (the families are allowed to live there for the time as well) and they realize its not a mistake and the sister just has to deal with it and shes so mad (she’ll find love eventually) and homegirl is like in a lowkey selection and we will have lots of cute moments :) and they will of course fall and love and end up together happily ever after the end

mother: Darling! Oh sweetheart. The girls’ mother entered into their shared room calling out for her eldest daughter. She seemed almost frantic. Angelina! Darling! You’ve received a letter from the palace.

sister: Mother are you sure? She was afraid to believe it lest it be ripped away from her when she was so close. But her mother retrieved from behind her back an ornately enclosed letter. The two girls looked at the small envelope in awe. It truly was of royalty. The paper shimmered and was lined with gold filigree. A deep red seal held the precious contents in safely and the front held only their family name written in large black letters. Oh mother do open it quickly! Read it out to us! I think myself much too nervous to hold such delicate paper in my quivering hands.

yn: I cannot believe MY sister getting invited to the palace by the High King himself. She had truly almost forgotten about her encounter with the monarch. It had been just another moment at the ball, one she would cherish along with every other. But she was truly thrilled to see her sister so appreciated by the royals. Her older sister was truly the most wonderful person in her eyes and she wished all of her wildest dreams come true. 

sister: Well don’t forget you’ll be right there by my side in Cair Paravel. Oh mother can you just imagine?

mother: Yes, our family running amok in the palace! I can hardly wait. The two girls laughed, knowing how truly magical it would be to share the wonders of the palace with their loving and chaotic family. Now girls, do we still want me to read this?. She was growing impatient with anticipation and excitement. The girls immediately sat up a little straighter, suddenly very attentive, grasping each other's hands tightly. “(last name), We are honored to extend a cordial invitation to your family for an extended stay at the Palace at Cair Paravel. You are welcome to bring any members of your immediate family to the palace and any important items. Upon arrival you will be provided with everything you will need for the duration of your visit. As the guests of honor, Angelina and Y/n… will be attending a special dinner on the night of your arrival followed by a ball to which you are all invited. The proper attire for the event will be provided for all guests . In three days time a carriage will arrive to retrieve all those who will be traveling to the palace and a special wing will be prepared to house you. We are delighted to have you and are eagerly awaiting your presence. Signed: His Majesty the High King Peter the Magnificent, Emperor of the Lone Islands, Lord of Cair Paravel, Knight of the Most Noble Order of the Lion…” The three women were stunned by the unexpected name written in the letter. The girl whose name it was, was the most shocked of them all. She was confused and worried. She felt a similar sickness as she just remembered she had felt after the realization that she had been dancing with the High King. 

sister: I saw you dance with the High King! I didn’t think however that you were trying to take this opportunity away from me!

yn: I did not know I was dancing with the High King!

sister: he did not introduce himself to you?

yn: Well he did eventually…

sister: And you continued to dance with him?

yn: Was I to decline his majesty?This calmed her sister down just barely as she truly thought of the implications of rejecting the High King. In truth, had she said no, King Peter would have respectfully stepped away, finding another dancing partner but his subjects were always worrying themselves with how their actions could in any way disrespect their magnificent King. And truthfully all we did was dance. It was no more exciting than any other dance I had that night. This was a lie that she herself was trying so hard to believe. I even explained to the High King that it was my sister who had come to meet him, not me.

sister: Oh so I have been invited to the palace out of pity! Or is it just to ensure that you do not decline his invitation. “As long as my dear sissy may accompany me as well it sounds splendid!” You are absolutely full of it!

y/n: Angelina I promise I meant no harm–

sister: Well either way you have caused it haven’t you. She stormed out of the room leaving her mother and younger sister standing shocked.

y/n: Mother I am telling the truth. She had tears in her eyes as she looked to her mother for help.

mother: Darling. I believe you. But that does not change things…

y/n: I will just explain to the king when we arrive that I do not wish to participate and–

mother: It is too late. His decision is made and now you must participate regardless of you or your sister's feelings. 

y/n: But… mother

mother: Have we taught you nothing? Royalty is to be revered and obeyed. Lest what happened to your father and I happen to you. Do you understand? She could only silently nod at her mother, suddenly feeling guilty and remarkably sad. She had heard the stories often, from her parents and other Narnians, about the years gone by. A time she could not remember, before the current Kings and Queens took their seat on the throne. It was a dark and difficult time for the kingdom and left a sense of fear instilled in some, even during times of peace. Her parents had passed down their intense caution to each of their children in hopes to protect them should peace ever be disrupted. So being an obedient daughter, she went to begin packing her things. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~first night ball?? idk i love the ide of this happening while dancing but i feel like there’s too many parties especially balls… but i also feel like this needs to be the first night~~~~~~~~~~~

“y/n” she heard in a soft voice from behind her. she turned around to see Peter admiring her as quests danced around him. He wore a fine red shirt with 

 gold detailing that matched the brilliant crown atop his head. y/n unfortunately could not seem to take her eyes away from it. better than have to meet his eyes she thought. “i am very pleased to see you again.” he stepped toward her. she dipped quickly into a curtesy, though smaller than the ones she had performed previously in his presence. 

“Hello… King Peter,” she said not knowing why she decided to test out the slightly less formal title. 

“You look… lovely,” he said, “Would you care to dance.” She nodded and hesitantly connected hands with him. Peter was quite surprised by her appearance tonight. While he remembered the girl in the soft champagne gown, she stood before him now in a dark burgundy. Layers of fine silk fell down like spilled wine and he couldn’t help but think how elegant she looked, how powerful. He was amazed how in only two meetings she could look so differently beautiful. He wondered about all the other ways she had been beautiful before and the many way she’s would no doubt be beautiful again. he wondered if he  would be lucky enough to see them. In truth she did feel beautiful in this gown. It was gifted by the palace as every maiden was instructed to wear red so as to be easily found throughout the ball by the high king. A smaller ballroom than the one currently holding the festivities had been filled with red dresses earlier that day. Her sister had chosen a bright crimson and others had chosen lighter reds or more orange tones. Red had never been a color y/n reached for but this shade had a cozy quality to it; it reminded her of christmas. so it had been the one she had chosen. weirdly she was happy that peter liked it. although she wouldn’t rather not know his feelings about it at all as she would rather not be dancing with him at the moment. he made her nervous and besides that the only other thing she could focus on was how angry her sister would be if she saw them. 

“I hope your journey to Cair Paravel went smoothly,” he said, breaking her from her thoughts. She looked at him a moment.

“Oh… yes.”

“And I hope your accommodations are to your liking?”

“Yes.” She added a small, uncomfortable smile with that response. 

“I do wish you would talk to me.”

“We are talking.” He sighed and stopped their dance. He did not however separate from her. 

“Please… what is it?”

“I should not be here,” she pleaded. 

“But you are. I implore you to at least try and enjoy it if you must.” She closed her eyes briefly and let her hands drop from his form. She could not help but notice how his hand stayed on her waist. Peter however was completely oblivious to his own behavior which bordered on inappropriate.

“It is presumptuous to think that I could enjoy myself doing anything other than sampling each and every thing tour chefs have prepared for tonight’s ball.” He chuckled lightly at this. It was half hearted but it was her, fear beginning to leave her. 

“Yes how silly of me. I would offer to escort you but I must request we complete at least one full dance before I do that. Does that sound okay?” She reconnected their hands and smiled up at him, tiredly. 

“I suppose that sounds alright,” she said causing him to grin widely as he stepped back into the large formation of dancing couples. 

“Truthfully,” he began, “how has everything been? Is your family settled in?”

“Truthfully,” she repeated, “everything has been lovely. I’ve never seen a more beautiful place in all my life.”

“Well I am glad,” he said. 

“I must say… I really am grateful to be here. Please do not mistake my personal matters as an indication of any less. Simply spending one day here could last me a lifetime,” she said. And she said it with such conviction that for a moment all Peter could do was stare at her in awe. He thought back to his first time in the palace and how he thought he could stay there forever and never take in every detail. He honestly still thought so sometimes. But here was this incredible woman who would be content for the rest of her life having only spent a day in this place he was lucky enough to call his home. He was glad she would get to spend more than one day here, for both their sakes. 

“I—- I am very glad you like it here.”

“I have had trouble finding my way around.” They laughed. 

“It is quite difficult isn’t it. I do remember it took me longer than I’d like to admit.”

“When did you first arrive here? At… the palace I mean?” He stopped to think for a moment. 

“It has been almost ten years I think. I cannot believe it has been that long.” 

“Wow.” She contemplated this. 

“And what about you? Have you always live where you live now?”

“Yes!— Well no but—- My family has lived elsewhere, as did I. But I was very young, but a baby and I do not remember. Our current home is the only place I’ve ever known.”

“And do remind me where home is for you?”

“(town)… um how are you feeling about escorting me to retrieve some refreshments?” He paused slightly at her rather abrupt shift. 

“I would be delighted to escort you.” he smiled, grabbing her hand to lead her over to the table. 

[witch-hazels-musings]

hi! i saw that you wrote a novel (that might be getting published?) and i'm really curious to know what pushed you to start, how was the progress, and do you have an editor + are you self-publishing or are you with a publishing company! writing a novel is a dream of mine but it feel so far-fetched. it's inspiring to see that you've written one, and i would like to know how i might do the same too, if you don't mind sharing! -- @milkstore

hello fellow author <3 im so excited to hear about your dream! there are countless stories out there, but no one can write yours :)

as for what made me start - it was you all. the constant support, love and encouragement, and providing me inspiration and opportunities to practice with characters I love in a world that's fantastical.

my main character was inspired by a genshin OC that I had (Fai) and blossomed into who she is now!

my process was pretty simple really. I started with a general plot. identified what I wanted to happen in the story and the beats (points) i wanted to hit along the way, then I flushed out the two main characters and started writing their story.

after getting draft 0 i realized the plot (especially in the middle) wasn't working. in fact, it suuuucked. so I did some edits, a lot of cutting and rewriting and then I got a beta reader - they liked it, but I didn't - enter my work on draft 3. Now my story has substance, it has way more engagement and a lot better characters.

My next steps will be to read it out loud for another round of edits and - as I go - really ensure my character motivations are in there, the plot (where the whole story ends up) has build-up, and that I'm not going to set myself up for continuity errors. Once that is done I have two options

I can send it off to an editor I found and like, have them look it over and give me feedback - make changes - and then start querying for agents

I found a potential publisher that works with indie authors GreenLeaf Book Group. They might help me with editing, story, and other things if they like what i have - so i can skip some of the steps myself! - They seem very promising and actually may be a good place to start right out of the gate, but I've always been told to never give a publisher nothing (well, unless you're already working with them lol)

From here, the end goal is traditional publishing but i have a few barriers to that. 1. my book is too long, 2. it may not be as engaging as they may like, 2. it's a duology (publishers don't often pick up debut authors that pitch more than one book to them (i.e. they want a standalone before investing their time and money into the book)

Of course, I'll keep you all updated as I go -- you can also follow me on Instagram! I post updates there and information about my book :) --- you can find it via my Author Cardd

I won't gatekeep or tell you this process was easy. It wasn't - but it was rewarding, perfect, and brought me closer to my dream. To be able to look back and tell my younger self we wrote a book is everything to me - her stories deserve to live, as do yours <3

I'm rooting for you.

You got this

OH AND join writing groups! I am now the moderator of one - The Writers Factory. I give lots of advice there and feedback on peoples stories when I can. I also post some writing exercises and other stuff (its not a social discord though - the mods are very strict lol - its for working on your book/story/ect. -- so feel free to join us if this is something you want!)

[shostakobitchh]

Hi! I I just saw your post about having the worst weekend, and I hope responding this quickly isn't creepy.

I just wanted to reassure you that whatever happened isn't indicative of your worth, nor of how people should and do act. However, I totally get feeling like the world is awful and shitty because it so OFTEN is, and sometimes you just need to scream about it without being told why you're wrong.

I really hope this isn't too much, but I discovered aim & ignite a few weeks ago and have never gotten around to leaving a review/message saying how much I've become obsessed with it -- you've filled a decade-and-a-half long itch for well-written Snape daughter fanfic, and you've crafted it so magnificently. The thoughtfulness that has gone into changes to canon, the gradual development of Snape and Ariel's relationship, the realistic treatment of how children would act and how responsible teachers should act -- it's all so, so, good, and a par example of how fanfiction can transcend its original material to stand on its own. All of this is to say that I wanted to tell you explicitly that you've had a positive impact on someone else's life, as something concrete to hold onto when you're feeling shitty.

Lastly, I have to confess that I love aim & ignite so much that I, uh, made (agonized over) a playlist for it?? Or, for Snape and Ariel's relationship in it, rather. A lot of the songs are originally romantic in context but I hope it's obvious that's not how I chose to view them for this lol. You might have your own already but here's a link to it if you or any other readers would be interested: https://open.spotify.com/playlist/7bUqtJ7XcjmNKQ8ux1pwit?si=8e4b5d5e33af4950

Sorry for this super long ask!! I hope you have a better week!

hi! please know that I have read this message multiple times since I got it in my inbox; I just haven't been in the right headspace to sit down and write back how grateful I am for it. it really was a huge pick-me-up these past few weeks <3

I'm so happy and grateful that the story has been something you've been looking for and has met your expectations; I too have searched far and wide for a Fem!Harry story where Snape is the dad and never really found anything that felt like canon. Fluff is great and all, but the best part of Snape is that he is SO BAD at trying to be good. All I see when he's thrust into the role of parent is a dumpster fire that somehow ends with a mildly-adjusted child he would fucking kill for, and vice versa. it's such a fucked-up mess; snape is the catalyst for the events of canon (he spills the beans about the prophecy) and sets this whole plot into motion. I love the idea that he inadvertently does this to his own child. it's like, just SO GOOD.

I bookmarked your playlist when I read this message and have been making my way through it! music is 98.7828% of what inspired me to write this story, so I LOVE when people send me what music the story evokes for them.

I made a playlist a little while ago on Spotify as well, I'll link it here in case you or anyone else wants to take a listen.

thank you again <3 <3 <3 inboxing is never creepy, btw! reader interaction is all that keeps me going, somedays <3 <3 <3

[ladywaffles]

hello fellow enjoyer of things >:)

😈 Has there been a point in a story where you did something just to be playfully mean to your readers?

🛒 What are some common things you incorporate in your fics? Themes, feels, scenes, imagery, etc.

🛠What tools/programs/apps do you use to write?

💖 What made you start writing?

👀 Tell me about an up and coming wip please!

💞 Who's your comfort character?

✅ What's something that appears in your fics over and over and over again, even if you don't mean to?

😈: i am so bad at writing smut scenes so i always fade to black, even when it feels like there should be a scene there and i've built up to it, and it just feels cruel. i would say like 60% of the time there was a sex scene there but i just couldn't get it right so i always end up cutting them out before posting. also i wrote a story once where the entire thesis was "what if the villain deliberately broke the rules on bioethics, as a character study and worldbuilding exercise" and well. readers did not seem to like that. conversely, i also have not updated either of my big WIPs in over a year, so like, that too.

🛒: music and sound are a very big part of my life, so they come up in my stories pretty often! i really enjoy writing to set the place of a scene/story, so i do a lot of touch/smell/hearing similes and metaphors. in terms of feelings, there's a lot of contemplating of loneliness, but not the kind that is, "i am alone in my room," rather the, "i am the only one who has this set of experiences and circumstances, and i cannot explain myself to this person who i care about so they can understand my actions/affections/choices fully, and that makes me feel isolated."

🛠: i primarily use scrivener to write fic, although if you catch me without my laptop, i'll sometimes use google docs or just a plain old fashioned pen and paper. if i'm plotting something out for a longer story, i might use a handwritten timeline on a blank sheet of paper and then just cover it in highlighter and sticky notes as i tack on addendums, if i'm not just screaming about it in a friend's DMs. thesaurus dot com is my best friend.

💖: i started writing fic when i was maybe 11 or 12, right around the time that i first learned that fic existed when i was looking up pictures to make my nook wallpaper, and you could do self-inserts and change the story around to suit your desires, like play-pretend but better. there were just so many permutations to explore, and i really liked that idea! i didn't start publishing fic until i was about 15. that first fic is still out there on ao3 somewhere, but i've since anonymized it so i don't have to look at it on my profile anymore lol. (not because i think the fandom is cringe, but rather because i've grown a lot as an author and it's not necessarily representative of my ability anymore!)

👀: so i know the answer you want me to tell you about is the comphet iceman accidental lovechild aaron tveit AU but sadly i have no more words on paper than that which i have already told you (iceman, very gay and upset over breakup # 3 with maverick, comphet rebounds with a woman who is also very gay and rebounding comphet style and whoops there's a baby now and here comes a bouncing baby aaron tveit). i'm still working on the timelines, because the top gun timeline in relation to the actual universe timeline of when everyone got married/how old aaron is versus when CMIYC was on broadway/aaron's nearly 10-year long absence from broadway is a hot mess and i'm trying to piece things together in the way that is the most true to form/makes the most sense.

💞: donald scripps from the history boys ("I have never particularly liked myself but the boy I was, kneeling in that cold and empty chapel that winter morning, fills me now with longing and pity," spoke wonders to my eighteen-year-old self who was also off to university and questioning reality) and obi-wan kenobi from star wars ("until this very moment, he had never realized he’d always expected, for no discernible reason—that when he died, anakin would be with him." his place in the series as a man who fights for good because it is the right thing to do, because he believes in goodwill, even as the world crumbles around him because it is inevitable that he fail in his mission and ultimately lose everything and everyone he loves, and we all know that he must fail so that others will succeed where he did not... i eat that shit RIGHT up.)

✅: there are at least three separate instances where i have used the righteous brothers' unchained melody in my writing, and two of them are because the song plays on a jukebox in a greasy spoon diner. it was completely unintentional, that's just a song that keeps popping up lol.

fanfic writer emoji ask

[yesimwriting]

The reader seems to be really close to billy and stu , so it got me thinking , what if she had little rituals with them ... like kissing their noses or rubbing their backs , and what if she got possessive of them and in a game of 7 minutes in heaven ou something she just makes out with billy or stu ( bcs in order to be with dark murderous freaks you have to be a freak yourself ...i dont make the rules)

Like imagine billy : im mf special 😏

a/n omg?? i love this!! this concept is adorable :)) i got so excited i put off writing my lit essay lol, this became A LOT longer than I thought it would be lol 

also do y’all like first or second person narration better?? i definitely like writing first person more in chapter fics, but in drabbles/one-shots i change my mind all the time. I did a little of both here lol 

---

The pile of homework I've been working on seems like it'll never end. Like there will always be another packet that needs to be completed or another essay I need to write.

Something behind me shifts. The noise is soft and easy to dismiss, but my body turns instinctually anyways. After what happened to Casey, there's no such thing as being too sure.

With a sigh, my entire body eases as I realize what the source of the noise is. It's just Billy and Stu, magically appearing like they often do on my windowsill. Stu's already inside my room, sitting on the edge of my window, his feet firmly plated on the floor. Billy's leaning against it, his lower half still outside.

Normally, when they show up like this, I grin and urge them to come in faster. "What are you guys doing here?" The way Stu pauses and the look Billy gives me tells me that they weren't expecting that reaction. "I told you guys--not today. I have a ton of homework and like half my family is visiting. My cousins have no concept of boundaries because they're like seven and they barge in here all the time. They're also snitches, the last thing I need is them running to the kitchen and telling their mom that 'Y/n has boys in her room'."

Stu holds up his hands in defense as he stands. "Relax, we're just here for our goodnight kisses."

I turn, adjusting the notebook on my lap as I look at them skeptically.

"We'll leave right after if you want us to," Billy says, pulling himself up onto my windowsill.

Still unsure, I twist my pen between my fingers. "I will want you guys to." My tone is a little harsher than I want it to be. Stu seems a little tenser and Billy's expression clouds. "No, that came out wrong. It’s not that I want you gone, it’s that I’m trying to be practical.” 

"You didn't want us coming over earlier," Stu mumbles, something harsh behind his eyes, "And we barely saw you yesterday."

"Yesterday wasn't my fault. You two went out with Tatum and Sid." I adjust my hold on my notebook. "And I didn't want you guys over earlier today because of homework. Literally all I've done today is go to lunch with my family and homework." Their unease settles in my stomach like a rock. I sigh, pushing my notebook off of my lap. "Okay, come here."

At that, Stu breaks out into a grin. He crosses my room in a few long steps. Once he reaches me, he sinks into my waiting arms. I hug him tightly before he can decide that all isn’t forgiven, burring my face into the side of his neck. He's so warm and always smells so much like him. Like expensive fabric softener, a little bit of body spray, and usually a tiny bit like weed. On anyone else the combination wouldn't work, but on Stu, it makes me feel right at home.

One of my hands runs up and down Stu's back. He eases into the contact. The shirt he's wearing is soft. There's little I love more than Stu's well worn, rich kid T-shirts. I'm already plotting how to steal it from him.

I lean my head upwards, pressing a kiss against his jaw. His eyes flutter shut as I leave a trail of kisses up his cheek and to his temple like I always do.

Billy must have come in while I was distracted. He's lingering next to us, watching with a blank expression. I learned early on that while Billy hates asking for physical contact, he loves receiving it. If I had to take a guess, Billy's hesitance likely comes from his home life, but I'd never say that out loud.

"Okay, Stu," I hum, my nails brushing through his hair, "You're good." His hold on me tightens. "Stu, c'mon." With a bit of a pout, he straightens just enough to place a kiss on my forehead. He's watching me carefully, silently asking me for a few more minutes. "Billy's turn."

Stu frowns, looking like he's sincerely weighing his options. "Fine," he mumbles, placing one last kiss against the side of my head.

Once Stu lets me go, he slumps back onto my bed, laying across my mattress on his back. That does make me a tiny bit nervous because the more comfortable Stu gets, the less likely he is to leave.

I reach over, grabbing Billy's wrist. Gently, I pull him towards me. He lets me. Like always, at first Billy's slow before reciprocating with full force. He melts into my touch, pressing his face into my neck. My fingers trace patterns against his back.

"Missed this," I whisper the admission.

"We missed you, too," Stu replies, hand lazily reaching over for my extended leg. His fingers begin to trace patterns against the skin of my calf. I'd think that the motion was absentminded, but once when I asked him about it, he told me that sometimes he writes out things he wants to do to me. "Soon it'll just be the three of us."

This isn't a conversation that I love. The more they talk about the day where they feel like Sidney and the friend group are stable enough to handle two break ups, the less I believe that that day will ever come. Thinking about it makes me feel like a terrible person.

Billy, sensing that he no longer has my full attention, shifts. He moves impossibly closer, his lips grazing my pulse. I used to jokingly scold him for kissing my neck during times like this before learning that things like that aren't always sexual to him. It's just him at his most relaxed.

My fingers rake through his hair, smoothing it back carefully before placing a series of kisses across his jaw and up his cheek. My trail ends at his temple, like always. The realization that the moment's passing leads to him squeezing me tighter. There's something distinct about his touch today, maybe even a little nervous. That paired with how uncharacteristically quiet he's being leaves me wondering if this ambush visit is a result of something else.

I know he was supposed to do something with his dad this morning. Okay, I need to stop thinking about that before it starts showing on my face. He doesn't like when I worry, he's never said anything, but his hot-to-cold reactions make me think he misinterprets it as pity. If anything, what I feel is anger that I can't walk up to his dad and punch him the face.

"Okay," I hum, "You both got your goodnight kisses...and I have to finish this essay."

"It's Friday," Stu replies, his fingers moving against my skin in what kind of feels like the curve of a 'c'? I'd ask if I wasn't worried about the conversation and mood taking a turn towards something I can't control. "You have two whole days."

I exhale, nails gently scratching at Billy's scalp. "You're throwing a party on Saturday, and Sunday's our first fully free day in over a week. You two aren't going to let me get anything done."

Stu turns his hand, running his knuckles up my leg. "Not true, babe. I've got a whole to-do list for you."

Softly kicking my leg in protest of his joke, I roll my eyes. "It's better for everyone if I just get this stuff done now, especially since you can't sleep over anyways. My little cousins are never in bed when they're supposed to be."

"You can do your homework, Billy and I know how to behave." When I raise an eyebrow at that, Stu concedes, "Okay, we at least know how to entertain ourselves."

Yeah, that's not comforting.

"You guys aren't being fair. I don't remember acting like this when you guys literally went on dates yesterday." I drop my arms away from Billy, ignoring the pinch of guilt that strikes with no warning.

At the lack of contact, Billy sits up. I avoid his gaze. "Is that why you're kicking us out? You're jealous? Upset we're not giving you enough attention?"

"No, I'm kicking you out because there's a group of seven to nine year olds that are super nosy in my house. Especially when it comes to boys. Kennedy's in the third grade and in her crush phase and she's asked me about whether or not I have a boyfriend 50 times."

"Your mom lets us sleep over all the time," Stu defends, "We just need to tell her that our parents did something and she won't care."

My posture straightens in an attempt to seem more determined. "That's different and you know it. She always has you guys crash on the couch and you sneak up later. We can't do that with all my relatives in the house, and you can't show up to my house so late."

Stu doesn't normally see--or at least, doesn't care about--reason, but Billy tends to listen a little more. I look over at him, gauging his expression. I still can't read him as well as he can read me, but I know that the blanker his face is, the more emotion he's feeling.

They're both starting to seem a little weird, maybe a little hurt, and I hate it. I do miss them, I want them here, but it's risky for me. At the end of the day, if my relatives find out, they get to go home. I'm the one that will be in trouble until I graduate.

"Do you really want us to go?" Billy's voice is as flat and void as his expression.

The hollow look he's giving me hurts. "You know I don't." That eerie blankness doesn't go away. "When I lock the door, they just keep knocking until I open it. I guess that gives us time for you two to get into my closet or something."

With that, Billy eases. He's not exactly as relaxed as he was before, but it's a start. I lean forward, grabbing his hand. Stu sits up, shooting up to pull me into another hug. His grin feels smug, but I can't bring myself to call him out on it.

"That's our girl," Stu praises, kissing my cheek.

I press my lips together, fighting a grin. "Wait--there's a condition. You two need to let me finish this essay."

Billy lifts our intertwined fingers to his lips. "Deal."

"You guys are unbelievable." They both look at me expectantly. "Can't believe I'm basically risking my life because I can't go one night without having you two sleepover."

----

Going out with my friends has become extremely bittersweet. I love when the entire friend group's together, but there's just something about seeing Billy and Stu and knowing that things are different. Knowing that they're right there and thousands of miles away at the same time. It's not that we don't talk in public, it's that it's inherently different. And it makes me feel awful.

Each smile I share with Tate and each time I laugh with Sid adds another layer of guilt. It's so bad that both Billy and Stu have had to talk me down from breaking it off with them twice now after large group hang outs.

Whenever I freak out, Billy tells me that this is for the best, that after everything Sidney's gone through, he can't just break up with her while she's still dealing with trauma. The one stable, good thing in her life right now is our friend group. Stu and Tatum breaking up would endanger that as well. Even though keeping these secrets is morally wrong, they're always promising that this is the best way to keep everyone happy. Sid gets the support she needs, Tatum doesn't have to feel weird in the friend group, and we don't have to be heartbroken because of our right person, wrong time situation.

I'm not sure when they started taking a more preventative approach to the whole thing, but now, whenever we have group plans, they make a point of spending some time with me before. Just as a reminder about how they actually feel, I think.

They still haven’t stopped by, which I’m trying to not stress about as I tear my closet apart. Stu’s parties are always crowded and low lit, so what I wear isn’t the biggest deal, but that doesn’t mean I don’t care. 

After Billy and Stu left early this morning my entire family headed out so that my extended family could be dropped off at the airport. So now I have the house to myself, which is a good thing for when one gets ready. 

I play my music as loud as I want while I take an extra long shower and take my time putting on a face mask. I’m being a little extra about my getting ready routine, but I’m taking advantage of the space and the free time. 

Shrugging off my towel, I pull one of Stu’s old shirts over my head. I’ve had this one for awhile but it still smells like him. I shut off my music and throw open my closet door open. 

I grab yesterday’s jeans off from the back of my desk chair. I had half a mind to wear them again tonight, but they’re a little over due for a wash. My fingers dig through the pockets as I approach my hamper. There’s no change, but there is a tube of chap stick in the front pocket and a tiny slip of paper in the back.

Unfolding the scrap paper, I fold the jeans over my bent arm. Good luck on your math test - Billy. I grin, thumb and pointer finger pinching the torn piece of paper a little too tightly. 

This isn’t the first time I’ve found one of these notes, but each time is equally exciting. It started relatively recently, the appearance of tiny notes in places I’d never expect to find them. In between the pages of books, slipped into my pencil bag, tucked into my folder next to homework assignments, and sometimes directly written into my notebooks. And now, apparently, tucked into the pocket of my jeans. 

The notes range in levels of sweetness, some of them motivational when I’m stressed over something, and others a little more flirty. The one I found before this one was about how pretty he thought I looked while walking to class. They’re all well loved, kept in a shoe box under my bed for me to re-read whenever I need a bit of a pick me up. 

I go back to my closet, looking through my clothes to find something that looks like I’m in the party mood. If I’m being honest, after such a draining week, I think I’d rather stay home and watch some movies instead of being at a party where Stu and Billy are both going to be with their girlfriends. Normally, that’s not enough to get me out of the party mood, but that paired with how busy I’ve been this week doesn’t have me thrilled for this. At least Randy will be there. 

Sighing, I start sorting through my clothes, trying to get myself into a party mood. I’m sure once I have an outfit I like and I fix my appearance, I’ll feel better about this.

I’ve just laid out a few outfit options on my bed when I hear a few familiar taps against the frame of my window. Tamping down a grin, I look up, not even bothering to look surprised. Billy and Stu are already pulling themselves into my room.

“You know, I do have a front door,” I mumble, straightening the skirt I just laid out on my bed.

Stu dramatically sigh, stomping into my room before flopping face first onto my bed. “That’s the hello we get?”

I roll my eyes. “I was just saying.” Stu props his head up on his elbow, looking up at me with criminally soft eyes. I drop my gaze, reaching for the top that he’s now wrinkling. “And you’re messing up my outfits.”

He watches me as I hold out the shirt. “You’re wearing that?” 

“I don’t know,” I mumble, ignoring his tone, “I have a few options, but I was thinking this with the dark green skirt.” 

Stu rolls onto his back before reaching over for the skirt I’m talking about. He looks at it skeptically. “This skirt?” 

“Yep.” Stu didn’t sound too thrilled. “Why? Do you think it doesn’t match? Because I was thinking about that.” 

Billy pushes away from the wall he was leaning against. “It’s short, sweetheart.” 

I look at him oddly. It’s not insanely short, I mean, I’ve worn shorter. “Not that short,” my eyes look over the fabric that Stu’s still holding, “My mom bought it for me. It’s fine.” 

Stu drops his arm. “I’ve seen the way your mom dresses.” 

“Are you slut shaming my mom right now?” 

“No,” Stu begins lazily, “I’m just saying that that doesn’t mean the skirt’s not too short.” 

I didn’t even want to wear this that badly before. “Too short? You guys aren’t my dad.” 

“Well, considering what you call u--” 

“Oh my god,” I cringe, throwing my shirt in Stu’s direction. The fabric lands against his face. Stu ignores me, pulling it off of him. “What’s the big deal? It’s just a skirt.” 

“A skirt that’s going to have people looking at you.” Crossing my arms in front of my chest, I stare at anything but Billy as he approaches me. His hand clasps around my forearm, pulling me a tiny bit forward. “Looking at what’s ours.” 

I’d be lying if I didn’t admit that the possessive undertones of the words didn’t make my face feel warm. The hypocrisy, though, almost immediately dismisses that. “So I have to be all okay with you two literally having girlfriends, but the line is drawn at me wearing a skirt you guys think is too short?” He squeezes my arm. “Maybe I want a little attention, it’s not like you guys can give me any tonight.” 

Billy’s hold on me goes from casual to nearly painful. His knuckles turn white against my skin and I’m sure that if this goes on for any longer, there are going to be finger shaped bruises there. I meet Billy’s gaze. His eyes have darkened significantly. 

“So that’s what the skirt’s about? You’re throwing a tantrum because you’re not getting enough attention?” 

This is going downhill fast. I’m going to need to backtrack the hell out of this conversation. “No, I-I was just making a point. It’s a little bit of a double standard, you have to at least be able to admit that.” The lack of emotion in his expression turns my stomach. I force myself to hold his gaze. “It just sucks sometimes, going to these things and seeing you guys with your girlfriends, and then I feel bad about feeling like that because they’re my friends.” 

“They’re not our girlfriends, they’re a situation,” Billy’s voice is harsher than it’s ever been while directed at me, “You’re our girlfriend.” 

My eyes widen. Despite how close we’ve gotten, the actual ‘g’ and ‘b’ words have not been used. I know I’ve been tripping over myself to avoid calling either of them my boyfriend by accident. His hold hasn’t loosened, but I can’t help my grin. My head tilts to the side, eyes softening as I place a hand over his. “Girlfriend?” 

Stu walks up to us. I don’t realize that he’s moving until I feel a hand on my shoulder. “Of course you are, you’re our girl.” He extends an arm, somewhat playfully pushing against Billy’s forearm. “Old Billy boy here wasn’t supposed to just say it like that. We’ve been planning it out, we were gonna ask.” Stu doesn’t release Billy’s arm, “It’s all Billy talks about, might wanna ease off on the love spells, he’s obsessed with you.” Stu squeezes my shoulder, running his thumb across the skin. “All day, it’s ‘you think Y/n’s okay?, Y/n’s hair looked so soft today, we should go see Y/n.’” 

Billy throws a look in Stu’s direction, his grip on me loosening. I smile, “Really?” 

“Fuck off,” Billy mumbles, shoving Stu. “He’s the one that’s whipped. Sometimes he misses the smell of your perfume.”

I grin despite their odd tension. It doesn’t take much for play fights to turn into something else, something I don’t understand because half of it is unspoken between them. But I love this. 

“Okay,” I hum, probably a little too chipper as I step between them, “This is officially my favorite argument the two of you have had.” 

They’re both starting to move over to a different world that’s just theirs. I step forward, pulling Billy into a hug. After a second, he reciprocates. I shift, moving to press a kiss to his cheek. “I think about you a lot, y’know.” He’s looking at me calmly, but if I didn’t know any better, I’d think there might be the faintest tinge of color in his face. 

“A lot,” he echoes, tone amused. 

I grin, nodding once, “Yes, don’t make it a thing.” The way the corner of his mouth turns upwards tells me that he’d be happy to have me spend the rest of tonight unpacking what I mean by that. I tilt my head, looking at Stu, “And you.” Stu’s eyes widen slightly as he waits for me to continue, “Sometimes I miss the way you smell, too.” 

Stu’s eyes narrow jokingly, eyes soft, “Really?” 

“Why do you think I’m always wearing your shirts?” 

He smiles, pulling Billy and I into a hug that thoroughly squishes me between them. Sometimes I wish everything could be as easy as it is in our little bubble.

“Okay,” I begin pointedly, playing up my annoyance, “Watch the hair, I’m still getting ready.” Before they can make anything of that comment, I continue, “Even though I’m my own person and I hate that thing where guys are all like ‘there’s no way you’re wearing that’, I guess there’s nothing wrong with taking into consideration how my boyfriends feel.” Saying that makes me so happy I can’t even bother to hide my grin. “How about a compromise--the jean skirt I wore last week and the top I threw at Stu earlier.” 

With a dramatic sigh, Stu drops his forehead onto my shoulder. “You’re going to make tonight impossible.”

He’s exaggerating a little, which is fitting considering sometimes it feels like all it takes to get Stu going is a look that lasts a little too long paired with the tiniest bit of exposed skin. “Sounds like a you problem.” 

Stu looks up at me, half glaring at me through hooded eyes. He lethargically smacks the top of my thigh, right where his t-shirt ends. It’s a testament to his easygoing mood, but I can’t help my dramatic gasp. 

“What?” Sometimes I think Stu would be insufferable if his smile wasn’t so cute. “If you’re going to be mean, I’m going to be mean back.” 

Okay, there’s a chance I am being a tiny bit mean. Did I pick the skirt that had Stu making up a super lame excuse during lunch just so he could get me into a supply closet for a makeout session I had to cut short? Maybe. Was it on purpose? ...I’d like to say no, but honestly, maybe. 

“Alright,” Billy interjects, “I know that look in both of your eyes, and we don’t have time for that.” 

He’s not wrong. I reluctantly pull away from both of them and go back to getting ready. We’ve fallen into a little bit of a routine. I go through my getting ready to go out routine, and they casually--or not so casually--look around my room. If that isn’t entertaining enough, they patiently follow me around. 

It’s kinda cute. Especially if I decide to wear makeup and they ask about whatever it is I’m putting on my face. One of these days I’m going to have to let Stu put eyeliner on me. 

By the time I’m almost done, Billy and Stu are still content with looking around my room. I have no idea what they find so interesting about my space, it’s not like it changes often enough to warrant their curiosity. But if it makes them happy to look through my bedside drawer and leaf through whatever notebook or book are left out on my desk, why stop them? 

Now that I’m dressed and have given my appearance a once over in the mirror, I’m basically ready. All that I need to do is figure out how to get the clasp of this necklace to just...

“You okay?” 

Billy’s sudden appearance at my side nearly makes the chain slip from my fingers. His steps are so quiet sometimes. Honestly, a little more practice and he could play a killer in a movie he’d love. “Yeah, there’s just something about putting necklaces on yourself that’s impossible.” 

“Here,” he breathes, fingers barely grazing my neck as he takes the clasp from me. Billy turns the necklace as he steps behind me. He latches the clasp with surprisingly minimal effort. Instead of releasing me, he adjusts the necklace so that the charm sits perfectly centered. Billy leans towards me, pressing a kiss to the top of my head.

Stu, who was previously looking at a framed picture of me at some birthday party when I was little, turns his attention towards us. “Aw, how domestic, you’re like an old, married couple.” 

I turn just in time to catch Billy’s meant-to-be dismissive eye roll, but there’s the faintest touch of something else, something that might be a little flustered. It’s gone before I can be sure. 

 “We’re cute,” I agree, reaching for Billy’s hand to squeeze it once. “Okay, I’m ready, so you guys should go. I’ll show up in about half an hour, give people some time to get there so that nothing looks weird.” 

Stu frowns, setting the picture frame back in place. “It’s not that suspicious, we’re friends, you’re punctual.” 

I press my lips together. We have our rules in place for a reason, and talking about them too much makes me feel things I really don’t like feeling. “You know why I can’t.” 

Billy must notice my shifting mood because he cups my face. “You’re forgetting something before kicking us out.” When I don’t respond right away, Billy kisses my cheek. “In case you needed a reminder.” 

Of course. If there’s one thing Billy’s consistent about it’s our little traditions. At first, they were just excuses to be cheesy, especially when I was feeling a little insecure, but now, they’re more significant.

I tilt my head upwards, leaving a trail of kisses up his cheek. Stretching upwards, I then place a kiss on the tip of his nose. He then kisses my forehead. Our goodbye ritual. 

“Hey, I’m leaving too.” The fact that I’m surprised that Stu is already within grabbing distance makes me a little too aware of how tired I am. 

Pushing against the feeling that begs me to just stay here tonight, I beam at him. He lets me hug him. His hands find their way around my waist and I press kisses against his cheek until I’ve reached his nose. Stu tilts his head down to help me reach him. My body eases as he presses a kiss to my forehead. 

“Okay, you guys should go.” Shifting awkwardly and dropping my arms to my side, I tact on a half thought in hopes of making this easier on all of us, “Maybe some time alone will do me some good, help me get into the party mood.” 

There’s a brief silence, and then Stu steps back, “See you later.” 

“Yeah,” I say, a little flatly.

Billy’s eyes are trained on Stu, who just barely glances back. To anyone else, it’d come off as casual eye contact. A small feeling that’s little more than an itch at the back of my mind tells me that its the beginning of one of their exchanges. Or maybe I’m just on edge.

They approach the window, leaving like they always do.

----

Narrator’s POV

You never thought you’d want to kill Randy as badly as you do right now. One minute, the two of you are casually drinking, and he’s listening to a tipsy you summarize the plot of the latest show you’re invested in, and the next he’s trying to usher everyone into a game of 7 minutes in heaven. 

You swore you weren’t playing, even when Randy started complaining. No one will go for it unless they think they have a chance with someone as hot as you. Your no stood firm, even when other people started sitting in front of Stu’s guest bathroom.

All you wanted to do was be an observer. To sit next to Randy and to ignore the weird looks Billy and Stu took turns sending you from across the room as you finished off your beer. Instead, you had to watch Stu’s spin land on Tatum, and you had to watch him walk with her to the bathroom with enthusiasm. Those 7 minutes had you getting up to grab another drink that you nearly downed before getting back to your seat. 

That was what really set the night off. You had been pacing your drinks before then, wanting to keep the balance between being buzzed enough to be social and drinking enough to become messy. Stu stepping out of the closet with a grin and an arm around an uncharacteristically bashful Tatum pushed you right to that line. Billy ending up in the bathroom with Sidney next is what pushed you over it. 

It’s ridiculous, no one can fully control where their spin lands, but it was all too coincidental. Too perfect. 

And that’s how you ended up here. In a closet with Jonathan White from your second period. The same Jonathan White that’s always staring at your chest. You’re about two minutes into the most awkward small talk of your life while pretending to not notice his leering and clumsy, half thought out advances when the door opens. 

There’s no way that 7 minutes are already up, but you’re too relieved to question it. The calm feeling settling in your chest quickly disappears when you look towards the doorway. Stu’s leaning against the wooden frame, eyes cooly locked on you. 

“Dude.” Jonathan’s complaints die down at the back of his throat when Stu turns to look at him. You can’t fully see his expression, but despite how buzzed you are, you don’t miss his unexpected edge. 

“It’s my house, dude.” Stu’s reaction isn’t harsh in the way you expect it to be. It’s the calmness of his voice that cuts straight through you. “I can do whatever I want in my house, and you’re not going to stop me.” 

You’re not convinced Stu’s talking about his house. “Stu.” You have to bite your tongue to avoid blurting out that nothing was going on. Why should you clear the air? You and Jonathan were far apart, which is more than you can say about him and Tatum. “You’re drunk.” 

Stu ignores the touch of warning in your voice. He doesn’t even let himself look in your direction. It’s the only thing he can think to do to associate his anger with someone that isn’t you. 

“Whatever,” you breathe, deciding that the best thing you can do to diffuse the tension is to remove yourself from the situation, “I’m getting another drink.” 

You skirt past them, practically holding your breath until you’re fully out of the bathroom. No one’s sitting in that lopsided circle anymore. Whatever happened in those few minutes you were in the closet must have killed the mood just enough to end the game. Oh, well, you can’t say you’re too torn up about it. 

The alcohol isn’t settling in your stomach as comfortably as you’d like, but you meant what you said. You’re getting another drink. Maybe that will make you feel less like you’re balancing on the edge of a knife. 

You walk into the kitchen, frowning when you realize that the big cooler’s empty. It’s probably a sign from the universe to quit while you’re ahead, but you choose to ignore it. Instead of going back to the party and finding either Randy or one of the few familiar faces from some of your classes, you decide to go to Stu’s garage. You know for a fact he keeps extra beer in there. 

You step into the space, shutting the door behind you. The separation from the party is refreshing. A part of you regrets coming. Parties suck when you’re not in the specific mood for them. Why are you even here? To sit outside and listen to music that’s too loud while Billy and Stu hook up with their actual girlfriends while you down beer? You don’t even like beer that much. 

An idea latches itself onto your mind. You could leave. You could go home, change into pajamas, and pass out in bed. Sure, Billy and Stu wouldn’t be happy with it, especially considering the looks they gave you during spin the bottle, but you’re not happy with them. And why should you stick around in a setting you’re not in the mood for when they’ve been actively ignoring you since you got here? Obviously, they can’t get away with being all lovey dovey, but they could treat you like a friend. Or at the very least, not keep Sidney and Tatum away from you like you’re the plague.

Besides, all you’re going to do is go home and go to bed. If that makes them mad, then that’s their issue. Especially since they want to act all cute when they’re in your room, claim that you’re their actual girlfriend, and then treat you like you’re repulsive in public.

You’re interrupted from your fantasies of just walking out the front door by the sound of the garage door creaking open. You snap your gaze towards it and fight the urge to roll your eyes when you see that it’s Stu. You’re annoyed and tipsy, but still sober enough to know that the last thing you want to do is add any additional fuel to the fire. 

He walks towards the refrigerator without looking at you. The silence is starting to get to you as Stu opens the fridge. After a second of him looking around in there, Stu turns towards you. He’s holding your favorite drink. Wordlessly, he twists the cap off before extending an arm.

You blink once, slowly moving your hand to accept his offer. “I didn’t see these.”

Stu casually shrugs, shutting the fridge behind him. “Got them for you, Billy hid them in the back so no one else would grab them. Guess he forgot to tell you. 

The ‘forgot’ nearly makes you scoff. They both purposefully ignored you when you first got here and waved at them, and they’ve only looked at you to make you uncomfortable since. But you can’t say that right now. You’re tired and probably more drunk than him. Starting a fight isn’t something you can afford right now. 

“Oh,” you mumble, “Thanks.” You bring the drink to your lips, taking a slow sip. “Think I’m gonna go after this.” 

“Go?” Something flickers behinds Stu’s expression. “I thought you were staying over.” 

A sarcastic comment rises up your throat. After the way they’ve been acting, there’s no way he can think that your ideal ending of tonight is crawling into bed with them. Any bite in you dies down the second you meet his gaze. There’s no way to describe it. Unfeeling. 

“I uh-” You tilt your head, playing into your inebriated state. You shift back, which is all the excuse Stu needs to take two steps forward, practically caging you between him and a wall. “I had a little too much to drink and I’m not feeling great. I don’t think I’ll be a lot of fun, I just need to pass out in a dark room before everything starts spinning.”

He doesn’t look convinced or angry or anything. There’s something eerie about the cold indifference he’s radiating. “You wouldn’t lie to me, right, sweetheart?” 

You let your eyes drop to the glass bottle in your hand. You take a quick sip. “Was gonna ask you the same thing.” The mumble escapes you before you can think through your slurred words. 

Stu takes a step forward. You squeeze the bottle between your fingers a little tighter to avoid shrinking back. “What was that?” 

You look up just in time to see Stu tilt his head in order to regard you a little more cautiously. The last time you had a sub in your science class, they played a video about the structure of a predator’s mind and how they prepare to catch their prey. The way Stu’s eyes darken sends you straight back to that classroom. 

You can’t tell if the heat that rushes to your face is a tang of fear or something else. Or maybe it’s an uneasy combination of both. 

The door squeaks open again. Your head snaps in that direction, but Stu doesn’t look away. He doesn’t even bother putting a less conspicuous amount of space between you. 

“You two okay back here?” You let out a breath. It’s just Billy. 

“All good,” you manage just as Stu says, “She wants to go.” 

You keep your eyes focused on Billy, not wanting to think about Stu that way again. “I’m not feeling great and I’m tired.” The defense is weak, made even more pathetic by the slight pout of your lips. “Plus it’s not like you guys would notice anyway.” 

“What?” Billy’s question is oddly gentle.

The whiplash that gives you is nearly enough to make you drop the glass in your hand. You shut your eyes for a second, resting your head against the wall. Everything’s starting to feel a little too fuzzy. “You know what I’m talking about. At my house, it’s all talk about liking me, calling me your girlfriend, and then I get here and you don’t even want to be friends with me.” The blow up doesn’t make you feel better. The room is full on spinning now, you lean completely against the wall so that it can support your weight. Ugh, you know you won’t be able to handle their reaction. “’M tired, and I-I’m feeling weird. I think I should go to bed.” 

The quiet that follows has you fighting to not push past both of them in order to get to a bathroom. It’s shattered by Stu’s humorless laugh. His breath is hot against your jaw and it’s too much. “Aw,” he hums, his tone so sweet it circles right back to bitter, “She’s jealous, isn’t that cute?” 

You squint your eyes open. “Shut up.” 

“Why?” Billy asks, stepping further into the room, “He’s right. You think I didn’t see the way you were looking at me and Sid when we came out of the bathroom?” 

You sigh indignantly. “I’m too tired for this.” 

“But you weren’t too tired to be all over Randy or Jonathan White?” 

Your glare turns into something meek once you see the way Stu’s looking at you. “I wasn’t all over Randy, he was just the only person that was talking to me tonight because of you two. Neither of you even said hi to me and every time I tried talking to Sidney and Tatum, you’d come by and take them away.” The thought of Jonathan makes you sick all over again. “And I was nowhere near Jonathan White, and I’d never be willingly. He’s a total perv, and he made Shannon Walton cry before class the other day. And Shannon Walton’s the nicest, she always has gum and gives everyone her notes if they’re absent.” 

Stu doesn’t ease. “Don’t change the subject, you didn’t need to play.”

“You didn’t either,” you counter, “And I-I wasn’t even playing at first. I was just gonna sit in the room so I could keep talking to Randy, and then you two--” 

“So you only played because you were jealous.” Billy’s voice has taken on an edge that you don’t like. He continues, walking towards you with even, practically bored steps. “That’s not very nice of you.” 

They haven’t been very nice either, you think bitterly. “You started it.” 

The childish defense leaves the corner of Billy’s mouth turning upwards. “I’m not all over you for for 5 minutes and you get like this.” 

The dismissal makes your face feel warm. “Maybe we should give her a break.” The mocking in Stu’s tone strikes a nerve. “She’s just jealous.” You draw your eyebrows together, and Stu grins meanly. “You’re lucky green’s a pretty color on you, babe.” 

Chagrin fuels your reaction as you burst out a too confident, “’M not jealous.” 

Stu’s laugh is harsh, “You’re not?” 

Pushing down your instincts, you tilt your chin up a fraction of an inch in order to hold your ground. “Can’t be jealous because I know you two are mine.” 

At that, they both seem to still. You hold Stu’s stare until you no longer feel like you’re the one that’s trapped. The confidence is likely in your head and a byproduct of all you’ve had to drink, but it gives you the assurance you need to straighten your spine. Stu angles his head to the side and you’re not sure if it’s a good sign or not. To not panic, you extend your arms, resting them around his neck. The nails of the hand that isn’t holding the bottle trail down his neck. 

You can’t back out now. The way he’s looking at you changes. You can’t interpret his expression, which only puts you on edge more. He wants to be quiet, to dismiss you in one final, petty jab, but the more your nails dig into sensitive skin, the more he struggles. The nail thing’s a habit you developed after realizing how much it affects him.

“Watch the nails, sweetheart.” It’s meant to seem like a warning, but it slips out of him a little too low. He’s overcompensating to cover for what was almost a whine. 

You blink up at him through your eyelashes with maliciously soft eyes. “Starting to hurt?” He’s quiet, you scratch at his skin, hard enough to leave the kind of red marks that disappear almost as soon as they appear.

“This attitude’s cute, but don’t push it.” 

Everything from tonight hits you all at once as you tilt your head innocently. “Or what?” 

Billy knew that you were treading on ice so thin that even Stu couldn’t see the cracks since before you got here. That one comment you made before they left your place had been harder to deal with than Billy would ever admit. Stu pretended that he was fine with it, that he didn’t feel the strain of panic that comes from feeling like they need you more than you need them. And then you showed up here, as pretty as ever, and basically fine when they started ignoring you. And now this. 

It’s a slippery slope. The line between the amount of attitude that gets Stu going and the amount of attitude that pushes him towards something he can’t control is thin.

Billy steals the bottle from your hand and leans forward, grabbing your jaw with his free hand and pulling you into a kiss. It’s so sudden it takes you a second to relax into it. Once you finally do, a small sound escapes you. Billy deepens the kiss with no warning. You clumsily follow his lead despite how much they’ve annoyed you tonight.

He pulls away quickly once he’s sure that the energy in the room has been redirected, resting his forehead against yours. You don’t get the chance to recover. You’re still panting when Stu’s hand finds its way into the roots of your hair. He yanks on it, forcing you towards him. 

Stu’s kiss is hard and disorientating. You know that he has a way of being all consuming when he wants to be, but this is something else. You can’t take a full breath, but Stu doesn’t care. He doesn’t let you go until he’s done, and even then he takes his time releasing you, pulling your bottom lip between his teeth. 

You’re dizzy and somehow even drunker than before. You reach for Stu unsteadily. He looks you over slowly. “You get her in bed and I’ll figure out how to start kicking people out.”

Billy places an arm around your waist. His lack of protest surprises you slightly, but you’re not complaining about it. You need his help, and Billy knows it. That, paired with the fact that this is the only time he has an excuse to publicly hold onto you, makes him love when nights end like this. 

He always has an excuse ready in case Sid or someone else notices. Y/n can’t handle her alcohol and she’d kill all of us if we let her go home like this. She’s gonna sleep it off in Stu’s room for a little. It’s basically true, and it also gives Billy the excuse to linger around you. There are a lot of people that’d take advantage of your situation. Sid can’t be mad at that, if anything, she’d be mad at him for knowing how vulnerable you were and not doing anything.  

Billy leads you into Stu’s room, abandoning your last drink on the first surface he finds. He sits you down on the edge of Stu’s bed before opening one of Stu’s drawers. “Here,” he tosses one of Stu’s T-shirts towards you, “You got it or you need help?”

Shutting the drawer, Billy turns back to you. You’re laying down now, not even under the sheets. “You can’t fall asleep like that.” 

“Mhm,” you mumble, face half buried into your mattress. 

With a sigh, Billy walks towards you. He grabs your arm, pulling on you until you’re finally sitting. With a bit of prompting, you stand. Billy watches you struggle for a second before sighing. He keeps you steady as you get out of your clothes and pulls Stu’s T-shirt over your head. 

You’re too tired to care about the fact that you’re supposed to be mad at him. “Bed now?” 

Billy cups your cheek, his thumb soothingly brushing against your skin. “Last time I let you pass out before washing your face, you made me promise to never let it happen again.” 

----

You don’t know how long you’ve been asleep when an unexpected pressure stirs you awake. Ignoring the feeling, you try rolling over in order to pull the covers up to your neck. Something doesn’t let you. 

“You’re up,” Stu whispers against your hair, “You’re up, you’re okay.”

Twisting so that you’re flat on your black, you squint your eyes open. It’s still dark, so you know it’s still night time. You don’t remember exactly how you got here, but you know that you were comfortable. You also only vaguely remember the weirdness and your anger from earlier. 7 minutes in heaven thanks to Randy, a bit of confrontation in the garage. It feels less important now. 

Smiling, you slowly extend your until your knuckles are brushing against his cheek. “What time is it?” 

“Late,” Stu answers. 

“Then wh--” 

“Need my goodnight kisses,” he breathes, pressing a few, quick kisses to your temple. 

You smile, “Thought you were mad a--” 

Stu’s fingers squeeze your hips. “Don’t want to talk about that.” If you were less drowsy, you might have jumped a little. “I just want to go to sleep.”

Nodding you reach for him a little steadier now. Stu relents, leaning into you as you start to kiss his cheek. 

Billy’s hand finds your waist just as you start relaxing again. “What about me?” 

[bookofmirth]

ok so this might come off as a bit rambly so please bear with me lol

i've noticed that the acotar fandom has this incessant need to be right when it comes to canon and it really sucks out the funness of fandom. shipping is supposed to be fun but when it comes to this fandom, it's almost like a competition to see who will be more right when the books come out. engaging with theories/predictions about characters and the plot is supposed to be exciting but when it comes to this fandom, some of the theories/predictions are problematic at worst and nonsensical at best. like how can you say with your full chest that you're so confident about where the series is heading in the future because of this or that theory when you're stuck in the past and refuse to see what all of the text is telling you in the present. it doesn't make sense. the selective reading is so strong that it has me looking sideways sometimes lol

i guess my question is why do you think the fandom is so divided when it comes to ships right now? i've seen people say this wasn't the case for feysand and nessian, so what's the difference here?

Oh boy Brielle, I have some thoughts on this. It's complex.

To be clear, I am not saying that this applies to literally every single person who ships a certain way. This is a commentary on the fandom as a whole, and there are always exceptions.

This got really, really long, so I'm putting it under the cut.

I think that one of the main draws of this series, and of sjm's writing in general, is her ships. I think that people get very, very attached to their ships.

I also think that sjm does NOT fully think through some of the choices that she makes when writing. See: the way that she takes from all these different cultures and mashes them together, which could be seen as disrespectful of their origin. She has retconned things, like Mor being queer and Lucien being Helion's son. I think that she thoroughly thinks about some of the aspects of her books, like Rhys's reaction to sleeping with Feyre for the first time, but then really half-asses other aspects of her books, like Mor coming out.

Then, we have your good old misogyny and homophobia - people in the fandom don't like Mor because she hurt the poor bat boy's feelings when she didn't sleep with him, and they don't have a mating bond, but she's never really told Azriel "no", and so every single moment of pain that Azriel has felt in 500 years is Morrigan's fault. And Mor's experience as a closeted queer woman who feels unsafe around the people she should trust the most is completely disregarded by the fandom.

Finally, I think that a combination of these factors has created the monster we know as e*riel, and that the fandom is perpetuating its own mythology.

What all of this comes down to, and the real reason I think that the fandom is behaving this way right now, is that e*riel is dead. It's never happened, it's not going to happen, but because we don't have the clear closure we got with moriel (where people would be accused of homophobia for continuing to ship it), people are still trying to figure out any possible way for e*riel to become canon, though every single sign points to it being a non-issue.

This weird thing where people have to be "right" all the time, and the way that "right" = "canon" is a relatively new development. It's as if everyone in this fandom forgot that they are in fact in a fandom, which inherently diverges from canon.

However, I think that the need to cling to canon is because the alternative would be to admit defeat and say "well, even if it doesn't happen I will still ship e*riel, it's fine, I will live with that." But they don't want to do that. In response, they look at canon so hard that they are reading the white space between the letters to create their theories, which as you noted as largely nonsensical and often fail to take into account who the characters are as individuals, how they are connected to other characters, and why it would or wouldn't be appropriate for them to be involved in various plots.

People could say, as eluciens having been saying since day one, "I really ship this thing but I can see that it might not become canon". But they don't say that. They literally refuse to see any other possibility than e*riel becoming canon.

You pointed out that people are stuck in the past - absolutely. The number of reimaginings I have seen of scenes where either Azriel or Elain has literally zero to do with the scene, but people try to shove one or both of them in there. And this from books ago. People are stuck on the Truthteller scene, and refuse to acknowledge that neither of them have acted on their feelings, whatever those might be, for years. And they ignore the fact that once Elain and Az do act, it goes horribly wrong.

Here are the facts as of right now:

ACOSF is the most recent book. In that book, sans extra chapter, those two had no interaction other than looking at one another.

If we include his POV, then he said it was wrong, we got confirmation that nothing has ever happened between them, she returned his necklace. Elain was aroused, but that does not mean she was ready to even have sex. "Yes" to a kiss is not "yes" to every single sexual act Az can think of. They parted on awkward, bad terms after a scene in which it seemed like they were about to start something. Yikes. Unlike Wings and Embers, they did not end that chapter still thinking of one another. After they part ways, the omniscient narrator does not mention Elain, or Az thinking about Elain, again.

His POV occurs months before the end of the book. They do not interact after that.

Elain has a mate she has not rejected, nor accepted.

So anyway, your question was why are people like this. lol. I think the fandom created a monster, and that monster is clinging to life. It can't accept the idea of morphing into a non-canon ship, though it never was canon in the first place. It had just convinced itself that it was.

There are other aspects to this, that have to do with gwynriel and elucien.

Gwynriel is a new ship, it's almost guaranteed to happen, people are super excited to ship it and give Gwyn all their love. I'm sure they would rather create content for that ship than argue about whether or not it's going to be canon, but they are in constant defense mode. Some people honestly didn't like e*riel before because they don't like Elain, or because they don't like Azriel, and those are valid reasons for not liking it. Why people ship gwynriel doesn't matter. The tone of the discussion is, unfortunately, being shaped elsewhere, which I will mention below.

Elucien is an old ship, older than e*riel. I can speak from this perspective - personally, I have been holding my tongue for 4.5 years. I have been letting people live, and just talking about the things I like. Then when acosf came out, it was like I could finally say all the things I had been thinking about Azriel, because I now had proof that the things I thought about his character (and because of that, about e*riel) now had solid canon foundation. This is 4.5 years of me holding in a lot of shit and finally being able to say it. Sometimes yes, I might take joy in having been right.

I think that a few people are clinging to canon, and that sets the tone for the discourse in the fandom. Someone says "according to page whatever, blah blah blah" and people feel the need to respond, and then it turns into and "I'm right" contest instead of... a fandom... A lot of us like debating. To me, it's fun. But when Person A starts a conversation that's about canon and it actually ignores canon, it's hard to let that conversation go by and just keep creating whatever we want to create. Instead, we respond, and so the tone of the conversation is shaped by what Person A decided to say.

I also think that there is a lack of distinction between theories (what will happen in the future) and meta (analysis of what we have now).

There is also a lack of "I" statements. Opinions are being stated as fact.

idk if there is a way to make it better, other than to just go back to ignoring one another. This whole situation makes me want to throw out every single canon ship I like and create exclusively non-canon content, just for spite. Except I really like doing meta, and so I don't want to. I guess for my point, I'll just keep doing meta, keep creating different content, and keep reminding people that they aren't here to continue perpetuating canon, but to play with it.

[interact-if]

Day 9, 1/2 of the A/PI Heritage Month featured authors interview! Please welcome to the stage... Bubs!

Bubs, author of To The Whistling Winds

A/PI Heritage Month Featured Author

You’re a pretty normal young adult living in the 21st century: you have exceeding amounts of student loan debt, a housemate, and a job that pays just above minimum wage. You didn’t exactly dream of being a tour guide for the historical Chester Theme Park, but you’ve grown used to your every day life.

You thought you knew the park better than anyone, but as the friendly surface begins to crack and unexplainable events begin happening, you’ll need help dealing with the vengeful Fae, who seem to have a bone to pick with you in particular. Fortunately—or maybe unfortunately—there seem to be a Covey of fae seekers that might be inclined to help you…

(INTERVIEW TRANSCRIPT UNDER THE CUT)

Q1: First of all, introduce us to your project! What is it about?

Hi! My interactive fiction game is called “To the Whistling Winds,” and it’s a magical realism mystery set in modern day. The player plays as a tour guide at a Southern Californian theme park, where strange events have begun occurring.The plot and lore of the story draws from folktales about the Fae, as well as the general air of conspiracy and mystery revolving around liminal spaces such as theme parks.

Q2: If it’s not too spoilery, what are you most excited about your project?

I’m really proud of my cast of characters and the stories they each have. Each of the non-playable characters that the player can choose to bond with have their own dynamics and inner turmoil unrelated to the player, and I really am excited to explore them. Furthermore, there are some twists and more dramatic scenes I’m excited to write,especially considering that the earlier chapters thus far have been pretty slice-of-life.

Q3: What inspired the current project you’re working on?

Theme parks and spaces designed specifically for amusement, especially certain ones that have been around for a while and have established their own brands, really have their own modern folk stories told about them. There’s a common thread between the kinds of stories told about theme parks that were once told about space such as open fields or mysterious meadows, and I really wanted to explore it!The idea of nostalgia and a “perfect memory” is also really interesting to me. So much of the appeal of theme parks has to do with reliving the past or recapturing a certain feeling, and Fae folktales often feature listless protagonists who are aspiring after exactly that.

Q4: Do you pull from your own identity for inspiration? How has that been reflected in your work?

I think being Asian-American has definitely influenced my story, from the player character to the general setting. For example, character customization is really important to me, and I’m careful that the MC doesn’t have a set ethnicity. It’s not uncommon for IF games to have a racially-neutral MC, but then go back and say something about their parents having blue eyes, or them having specifically celebrated something like Easter, so I try to be mindful about that. I also have a lot of fun writing my cast, many of whom come from different backgrounds! There are two romanceable characters that are Asian: Clémence Choi (who’s Korean with French nationality), and Alejandro Flores, who’s Filipino. Additionally, the player character’s roommate, Julia Reddiar, is Indian-American.

Being Asian is a pivotal part of Clémence and Alejandro’s respective backstories - they more than their ethnicities of course, but that doesn't mean it doesn’t have an impact on their life. Alejandro’s an aspiring actor, and part of the reason he struggles to find work is because roles for white actors are just easier to come by. Clémence has spent a lot of her life wanting to fit into just one box - Korean or French. I was also mindful of a lot of stereotypes relating to Asian romantic interests while writing their romantic routes: such as how Asian women are often exoticized and hypersexualized, while Asian men are desexualized and brushed off as unattractive. That's not to say that either of the characters are me, or that I only relate to the Asian characters! I actually think the character I most relate to is Bridget Sweeney, who’s white Irish,but is very creative and restless in a way I can really identify with.

Q5: What’s been your experience so far? With writing,with the if community...

The community has been really great! I think I’ve been relatively lucky in my interactions with my fellow authors and players: most people I've met have been really nice and helpful. Talking to them always motivates and inspires me. Some real life events have gotten in the way of more steady writing, but I’m hoping to update the public demo again soon!

Q6: Do you have any future projects in the works?

Honestly, something I’m debating is just moving TTWW from ChoiceScript to Twine, but that’s mostly hypothetical right now. I’m not the kind of person who multi-tasks well, so I wouldn’t start another interactive fiction until TTWW is done, but I’d love to write a classic murder mystery on a train.

Q7: Finally, what piece of advice would you give to fellow authors?

Nothing’s helped me more than the website MyNoise (not sponsored, LOL). I love listening to different soundscapes to get me into the mind of my character, whether it be a mysterious forest or a busy tourist destination. It really helps!

[v-hope]

Time

Pairing: Kim Taehyung x Reader

Genre: Fluff, angst, a sprinkle of smut

Word Count: 1.8k

Request: "Are requests still open? Omg I hope they are 😭 Merry Christmas sweets 🎅 Can I request a Tae imagine where he feels guilty for being busy all the time and not able to spend time with his s/o but she comforts him? Add a sprinkle of smut please? ;) Stay warm and hydrated 💘"

A/N: Although the plot doesn't revolve around Tae's birthday, I want to dedicate this to him in this special day and I hope my precious baby gets all the love and praise he deserves in the world uwu. Also, I don't really write smut so idk if this is what you were looking for but I hope it's okay lol I'm sorry (I'm a sweet child of God).

Gif from @fqkelove (weheartit).

Letting himself inside your place with the spare key you had given him a few months ago, Taehyung made his way to your room, where you were just buttoning up your blouse, almost ready to head out.

“Hey” he smiled softly, chastely kissing your lips, “you look beautiful”.

Those simple words that had so naturally and sincerely left his mouth brought some heat to your cheeks. Mumbling a quiet ‘thank you’, your eyes followed his figure to your bed, where he lied down as he watched you get ready.

“Where are you going?” he asked.

“Just out with some friends. I don't really know what the plan is, to be honest” you laughed lightly, making him smile. “Shouldn't you be at practice?” you questioned, going to apply some perfume.

“I have to head out to the studio in like an hour” he informed you, “so I thought I could just hang out in here for a while…”

“Of course” you nodded, “I have to meet the guys in about thirty minutes, though, so we could head out together? Is it okay with you to leave half an hour earlier?”

Taehyung gave you a nod, but there was something about his aura, not even his expression, that let you know there was something bothering him.

And as you were about to ask him about it, he beat you to it, opening up to you like he knew he always could.

“Actually, I– um…” you motioned with your head for him to continue, “my original idea was to ditch practice and stay in with you” he sheepishly admitted, “but it was before I knew about you having plans. I want you to go have fun with your friends”.

Your heart skipped a beat, because, first, Taehyung never missed practice, and second, the fact that he was willing to do so just to be with you meant the whole world to you. But, as much as you loved his intentions, you knew there must have been something upsetting him for him to make such decision.

“Tae, is everything alright?”

“Yeah” he was quick to reply. Just like always, showing you a beautiful smile.

Not believing him, you made your way to your bed, crawling on it so you could reach his side.

“Tell me”.

“Y/N” he sighed, “it's okay, really”.

“Baby…”

Gazing up in an attempt of collecting his thoughts, he shook his head; letting his walls down yet not being able to look you in the eye. “Are you happy with me?”

Okay, he was definitely not alright.

“What?”

“Are you?” he urged, this time locking his eyes with yours.

“Of course!” you answered without a doubt, “I am the happiest I've ever been” your hands cupped his face, “why would you even think otherwise?”

“I just… I overheard some people…”

“What people?” you frowned.

He shrugged. “Some guys from the staff” he furrowed his eyebrows, looking almost in pain, “and they were talking about how beautiful, funny and smart you are, which honestly is nothing but facts so I thought nothing of it, but then they said that they didn't get how you were with me” you felt your blood boil – were they fucking serious? “because I barely have time for you and that makes me a pretty shitty boyfriend... but I promise you I will try harder, because I swear I hadn't seen that befo–”

“Because it is not true!” you exasperatedly protested.

“No, but I can see it now, Y/N. I do” he stated, suddenly looking guilty. “You deserve so much better than what I can give you. You deserve someone who can always make time for you and be there for you, and I'm just too selfish to give you up... They.... They're right, you know?” his lower lip trembled. “And then they said something that kinda made me laugh at first because of how ridiculous I thought it was, but the more I thought about it, the more it started to make sense and I just...”

“What'd they say?”

He hesitated. “That you'll probably get lonely at some point and they'll–”

“Okay, no” you cut him off, “I know where this is going to and I am stopping you right there” you sat up straight, being followed by him. “Believe me when I say, Kim Taehyung, that I am so, so fucking happy with you” your determined words brought some peace to both his heart and mind. “And those guys?” you scrunched your face in disgust, “I have no idea who they are, but they know nothing about us and they have no right whatsoever to get a say on us. I am more than okay with the time we spend together. Yes, maybe sometimes I wish I could see you more often, because if it were up to me, I'd be with you every freaking day” he chuckled wholeheartedly, because, in all honesty, so would he, “but I don't feel lonely at all. And even if I did… Tae, I love you too much to even think about going to someone else–”

“I'm not saying you would…” he interrupted you this time, “I know you would never do such thing to me, but…” he let out a shaky breath, “maybe you'd turn to a friend, without other intentions, and then you'd realise they're much better for you... and I wouldn't blame you at all, but I just– It terrifies me. I can't let that happen, Y/N”.

“It won't happen. Ever” you cupped his face once again, resting your forehead on his. He closed his eyes at your familiar touch. “I know how busy your schedule is, you're an idol, for crying out loud! But no matter what, you always make time for me, even if you don't see it like I do. Just these little visits you pay me, even if it's just an hour, show me how much you want this to work. And that's enough for me” you smiled, kissing his nose. “I love you, okay?” you whispered, "don't let some stupid people make you doubt what we have".

The corner of his lips quirked slightly up, nodding his head. You had told him just what he needed to hear the most.

“I love you, too” he whispered back, making the corners of your lips curve up.

“So please get it into your head that what I feel for you will never change, not even because of your tight schedule” you reassured him once again. “I mean, I'm in too deep. I love everything about you”.

“You do?”

You gave him a nod. “You want me to make a list?”

At his silence and lowered glance, you decided to do so.

“I love your dark eyes, I love your powerful eyebrows” he couldn't help but giggle at that, making your heart jump. “I love that cute little mole on the tip of your nose” you poked it, “I love your sense of humour and your laugh. Don't even get me started on that so damn precious boxy smile you're showing me right now” you playfully warned him, only making it grow brighter. “I love your mind... the way you make me feel…” your voice got lower as your eyes fixed on his mouth, “I love your lips…”

Taehyung realised what was happening – his eyes travelling from your eyes to your lips in a second, and softly pressing his against them. Your point had been clear, and he wanted nothing but to kiss the one person he loved the most in the world and he knew loved him back just the same.

Not deepening the kiss just yet, he pulled your body towards his, making you sit on his lap without even dreaming of breaking the kiss, and wrapping his arms around your back to press you closer to him.

“What else do you love?” he wondered in a cocky, even lower tone, shifting his hips up so you could fully feel what you were starting to cause to him.

“I think you know very well what else I love” you purred, kissing him one last time before you pulled away. “Which reminds me” you wrapped your arms tightly around his neck, “why would I go to someone else when I have a man who satisfies me just enough, and even more, I would say, in every possible way?”

Taehyung chuckled – his mouth immediately going to slowly suck at the nape of your neck. “Oh, do I now?” he hummed.

“Mhm…” you tilted your head, giving him more access to the spot he was teasing.

“Even if we don't always have as much time as we'd like to?”

You bit your lip – making him raise his head to meet his eyes before you cupped his face. “We have time now, don't we?”

Not even a second passed when his lips were already moving against yours in a way he let you know just how much he needed you right then.

You pushed your body further down against his, looking for closeness, and that's when he slowly let his body fall down to lie his back on your bed – his hands moving from your back to your hips, where he placed them firmly and tugged down at them to create the friction both of you so desperately needed.

Right as a moan escaped your mouth, making his bulge become harder than you already felt it, you felt something else by your left thigh – and it actually took you both quite a few seconds to acknowledge it was his buzzing phone.

“Ignore it” he growled against your mouth, biting on your lip to keep you from breaking away.

For a moment there, you did, as you got lost in his heavy breathing while you planted a trail of open mouth kisses down his neck – your hips still softly moving back and forth on his member.

But then it started buzzing again.

He sighed in frustration when you lost your touch on him, signaling for him to pick it up. You thought he'd do so when you saw him reach into his pocket to take his mobile out, which is why you tried to get off his lap. Much to your surprise, he held you down and in your place with his free hand – his eyes darkening for a second before he focused them on his phone. And then, he turned it off, throwing it to the other side of the bed.

Not wasting any other second, the hand that had previously been on your thighs went to your back – turning you around so now he was on top of you and pressing his clothed lenght in between your legs.

He smirked at the sound that had just escaped your throat, leaning in once more to taste your mouth. “You didn't think I'd actually answer, did you?” he teased as his hands worked on your blouse.

“Oh, I wouldn't know” you giggled, “because you should be at practise after all. Shouldn't you, Kim Taehyung?”

“Shouldn't you be meeting your friends, baby girl?” he bit your earlobe.

It was only then you remembered about your previous plans for the day – your jaw falling slightly open at that realisation.

Oh well, it was too late now anyway to do anything about it, wasn't it?

“I guess we really are that couple, huh?”

Taehyung went back to capture your lower lip in between his – taking his sweet time with you. After all, time had never really been an issue to you all along.

“And I wouldn't have it any other way”.

[locria-writes]

Do you mind posting a list of all the good otome games you've played or are really interested in? Or if that's too complicated, maybe a list of your top 10 favourites? I see you posting about them often and I've been wanting to try some of them because...hello hot guys galore...😱😱😱

you don’t know how much i love gushing about otome games and my harem of husbandos (also lmao i’ve outed my terrible tastes here)

pc games

steam prison // so so good, definitely recommend! my only complaint is that you can’t romance Good Boi finn (by proxy depriving us of that wonderful cyrus/sachsen banter), but i guess i can settle for adage lmao. hits a very good balance between humour and seriousness, but it’s a really long game to complete

nightshade // honestly, one of my absolute favourites ever. ost is kickass, sprites are gorgeous, and the plot is pretty good. they’re literally all such good beans ugh i love them all. depending on the play order you do, and whether you do the bad ends or not, it can be not-too-painful sad to wow-just-rip-my-heart-out-and-stomp-on-it sad. goemon is honestly the best though, just saying

hakuouki // i’d recommend both games, but if you can’t afford it, then get edo blossoms, since that’s where most of the romance is. also, they get their western uniforms in that one!!! hachiro is still my best boi (sorry okita, heisuke, harada, and everyone else). suuuuuper long to play through, i think it took me ~60 hrs to complete everything, but it’s a labour of love

amnesia // okay, i trashtalk this a lot, but it’s a solid game except for when they did my boi toma dirty >:c ikki is definitely best boi though. some routes are better than others (read: toma’s route is pretty meh while everyone else has pretty great ones), but ukyo arguably has the best and saddest one. i feel like this is almost an otome staple at this point lmao

nameless // another classic and favourite of mine! yandere galore, more than a little heartbreaking, and wow just wow overall. they’re all such sweet guys (yes, tei and ??? included), and the side characters are all fantastic and very memorable. it’s kinda long though, i think 50+ hrs to finish everything, but oh my god is it worth it. i teared up quite a few times

ozmafia!! // a controversial choice, but i loved all the characters in it, and in the end, the plot did pay off. it just feels like a very cramped and rushed game at times, but the characters make up for it, honestly. i’m just mad over how they did my boi hamelin so fricking dirty #JusticeForHamelin #HamelinDidNothingWrong yes i’m still salty about it

cinderella phenomenon // highly recommend this one since it’s free! it’s probably my favourite oelvn to date -- beautiful art, great storyline, and wonderful characters except when they did my boi varg so so dirty :c the last 2 routes are definitely more painful than the first 3, and way more important to the plot.

the rose of segunda //another oelvn i highly recommend! pretty, a great read, and lovable characters. there’s a secret romance too, and holy god it was so good! frederique and mc are so great together, and i honestly fell so hard for leopold because w o w  i love me an ambitious man like him

monochrome heaven* // i have so many feelings about this one, but i’ll still recommend it lol. it’s very...depressing and can get difficult to read at times. honestly, it says a lot when the worst boi turns out to be the best boi. i remember just feeling so hollow after finishing the game, but it was worth the hours i invested

‘till death do us part* // a very questionable addition to this list, but i really liked it. marcus and jack are probably the most ‘romantic’ of the bunch, but i guess it’s not really an otome game

boyfriend to death 1 & 2* // 2 more questionable choices a la the above, but i enjoyed them both. lawrence, damien, and strade were my favourite guys

mobile games

ikemen sengoku // l o o k, i’m a sucker for the sengoku era, beautiful art, and great casting choices for voices okay??? i like playing softer and more light-hearted games sometimes, and this is the perfect game for that. honestly, every single guy is likable and none of them treat mc terribly (yes, including the yandere, the snek, and the playboy).

ikemen revolution // honestly, the same as the above. a great light read, lovable cast, and beautiful art. also, super stoked for mousse atlas to get over here because i’ve already decided that i’m completely in love with him

ikemen vampire // yeah, i know this isn’t out yet in english, but from what i played of jpn and what i’ve read of translations, i love it already. kinda feels like fate meets otome, and i love all the character designs, voices, and concepts

samurai love ballad party // like ikemen sengoku, but angstier lmao. i don’t really like the art and the sprites, but the story and characters are great, so i don’t really mind. i just wish my faves would stop being such disasters (ieyasu, sakuya, nobuyuki, kotaro)

love and producer/mr love queen’s choice // HAVE I TOLD YOU ABOUT MY LORD AND SAVIOUR BAI QI/GAVIN???? if you’ve played love nikki, it’s the same kind of grind, but i don’t even care??? the cards are beautiful??? the bois are all so wonderful and cute and perfect (yes, even shady af scientist)???? have i told you how wonderful and perfect my husband bai gege is??? also, download the japanese voice pack, the eng dub is kinda crappy

mystic messenger // so time-consuming, but so addicting lol. very fun, surprisingly dark, and all the characters are great (except for rika, we all hate rika). 707 is my home boi, but saeran is fantastic and i demand a proper unknown route because i want to get terrified by this lovely edgy angsty kid

my last first kiss // i can sell this in 3 words -- childhood friend romance. like, that’s my jam right there. i love the guys and their relationships with mc (fussy ayato is so cute, and mako and taka are so so sweet with mc). super fun and sweet read

lust in terror manor* // an elusive horror otome! it’s too bad it never got properly completed, but i guess there’s some kind of closure? translation’s kinda crappy, but good enough to read. rui and naoto were kinda meh, but hayato was the best boi, sorry i don’t make the rules.

several shades of sadism* // okay i can explain -- i love trashmen, i love guys with serious emotional baggage, and i love guys with flaws that make them oh so very real. minato is my favourite trashbag and i actually almost cried during his route because even though he’s an asshole, he’s really trying his best

cinderella contract* // this is where you realize i have no taste/standards whatsoever. trashy, i know, but goddamn i’m so invested in this. yuri is the trashiest of them all, and therefore he’s my husband sorry i don’t make the rules

princess of the moon* // ah yes, the trashiest of the trashy and i’m so ashamed i read this, let alone enjoy it as much as i do. very very smutty but i’m disappointed my boi dean didn’t get released on the og app

(*) -- game contains dubcon/noncon and just very questionable content in general. not for the faint of heart at all

[marvelsswansong]

I really hope I'm doing this right- I've never done a request before so please excuse me if I mess this up aaa,, but i would like to request Bucky x stark!reader with the song One More Night by Maroon 5 (it's one of my favourite songs it's so good) where the reader is Tony's sister and shes dating Bucky behind his back. Tony offers her a position to be assistant manager with pepper; she realises that she cant take on a job like that and keep dating Bucky but he really loves her and cant let go??

–> One More Night by Maroon 5

a/n: I’m so proud of this one

You couldn’t keep on doing this.

This was the only constant thought you had for the last few weeks, wrapped up in Bucky’s arms as the clock in the room kept ticking by. Pretending that you had no responsibilities or that you weren’t living a double life was easy when you were lying in his arms, and it was a fantasy that rudely hit you whenever he had to go on missions.

“You’re the love of my life, doll.” 

Your heart hurt every time Bucky said that, because then all you could think of was ‘only if you knew.’ If only he knew that you were a filthy liar, the sister of a man who viciously hated his guts, and a liar who had fallen hopelessly in love with a man she could never openly be with.

Your relationship with Bucky was built on lies. You never told him that you were related to Tony, only mentioning that you had worked for him once (which was somewhat true). You instead told him that you were a SHIELD agent, was an only child, and that your last name was Carter. 

The only thing that wasn’t untrue in your relationship with Bucky was just how much you loved him.

“I love you too.”

You’d whisper that to him, your heart breaking every time you uttered that sentence and saw the lovestruck grin Bucky gave you in return. His smile, his love, all his affection for you was not for you. 

It was for a fake you.

A you who was not a Stark.

And you had no else to turn to. It was a miracle that neither Tony or any of the Avengers had caught wind of this. You supposed it was a good thing that you had never met any of the Avengers before, preferring to keep to yourself and work for the Stark company overseas. 

It was killing you to lie to Bucky, but it was also killing you to lie to Tony. 

It killed you to tell your only family member, your own brother, that you were busy with work and not dating his number one enemy. It hurt to admit, but it was true. You knew what Tony would say if he found out.

“He’s a traitor.” He’d say, anger filling his eyes. Then Tony would look at you, the awful look of betrayal in his face, as he uttered the following words: “And you’re a traitor too, dating him when he killed our parents.”

Why was reality so cruel?

“You alright doll?” asked Bucky softly, snapping you out of your thoughts upon feeling your salty tears drop from your eyes and onto his skin. You turned around and stared up at him with a fake smile, wiping your tears away with your hand.

“Yeah! I just, um, am really tired from last night’s mission.”

Bucky smiled in relief.

“Oh, alright. Then we should really get some sleep, huh?” 

You let out a shaky breath and nodded.

“Good night Bucky.” you whispered, feeling his arms wrap around your waist once more.

He was out in a few minutes, leaving you alone to your thoughts once more.

‘I can’t keep on doing this. I need to leave him tonight.’

But those words were uttered too often but never followed through- you fell asleep, forgot about your problems for another day, finished up some general work for the company and kissed Bucky. You allowed yourself to indulge in what could never be by pretending that everything was fine. That you were just a simple girl who loved a simple boy.

But running away from your problems never worked.

Bucky was gone on a mission when you received a call from your brother out of the blue. Slipping on your cardigan, you walked out onto the balcony of your apartment.

“Hello?”

“(Y/n)! How is my favorite sister doing?” exclaimed Tony, his excited voice causing you to chuckle.

“I’m your only sister, jackass. Anyway, what’s up?”

“Right! So Pepper’s been swamped with some work lately and considering I haven’t seen you in forever and you’re stuck living away from home in a tiny apartment… I was wondering if you wanted to be an assistant manager?”

Your heart dropped.

You weren’t sure how you could get out of this one.

“I, uh, I’m flattered, Tony, but I-”

“Oh come on, (Y/n). I haven’t seen you for two whole years! And you know this is exactly the type of position you need. I promise you it pays well too…” trailed off Tony, teasing you.

You let out a deep breath and sighed.

“Okay Tony, I’ll take the position.”

“Great! I’ll send you the flight details to get to NYC in a few hours. See you soon, sis.”

You hung up and threw your phone across the room, where it landed with a loud thud on the floor. The reality of the situation hit you just then, that you had accepted a job offer from your brother.

Away from your home.

Away from Bucky.

And worst of all, this meant that Bucky would finally find out who you really were- a Stark.

‘You knew this day would come, (Y/n). Snap out of it.’

Tucking your phone into your back pocket, you suppressed your sobs and started to pack up your things. You had just finished packing your last piece of clothing when you heard the door to your apartment open, causing you to freeze.

“I’m home, doll, where are-”

Bucky stopped opening the door when he spotted you standing there, your hair a mess and your hands holding several suitcases. His smile dropped into a deep frown as you avoided his gaze.

“W-what’s going on?”

‘You have to do this, (Y/n). Break his heart and it’ll all be done.’

“I’m leaving you.”

The amount of pure devastation in Bucky’s face was enough for you to break down then and there, tears starting to pour out of your eyes.

“W-what? Why?”

You swallowed and looked up at him with a determined gaze, trying to maintain your composure.

“I-I don’t love you anymore. And I realized that I deserve better. So… I’m leaving you.” 

You started to walk out of the door, your bags in head, when Bucky’s hand wrapped around your wrist. You looked up at him to see his eyes darting across your face, analyzing you.

“You’re lying to me.” 

“N-no I’m not.”

Bucky’s devastated expression dropped into one of concern, his grip loosening as his voice turned soft.

“Yes you are, doll. Now can you calm down and tell me what’s really going on?”

That was the last straw.

“I-I can’t be with you anymore, Bucky. I’m not who you think I am.”

Bucky’s eyebrow furrowed in confusion.

“What do you mean?”

“My last name is not Carter. I am a SHIELD agent but I mainly work for the Stark company… Aka my brother’s company.”

Realization passed through Bucky’s face as you dropped your bags onto the floor, the tears now overflowing.

“I’m a Stark, Bucky. I’m Tony Stark’s sister. That’s why I can’t be with you. I-I’m so, so, so sorry.”

Bucky stared down at the floor, the fire in his eyes now all burnt out.

“So… you lied to me.”

“Yes.”

“Do you even love me?” he asked, his throat feeling dry.

“Yes, yes I really do.”

That caused him to look up.

“I love you more than you can imagine, Bucky Barnes. That is the only truth I’ve told you this past few months. But now that I accepted a job offer in New York to work as my brother’s assistant manager, this… this is the best way to end things.”

You picked up your bags once more and mustered up a smile once more before leaning in and kissing Bucky on the cheek.

“I’m so sorry, Bucky. I hope you can forgive me one day.”

You began to walk towards the door when Bucky stopped you.

“No.”

“What?”

Bucky took the suitcases from your hands and dropped them to the floor. He then took his hands and put them up onto your face, wiping your tears away with his fingers.

“No, you’re not leaving. Because I love you, (Y/n) Stark. I love you regardless of whether you’re a Carter or a Stark, because who you are as a person has not changed. A-and even if your brother disapproves of it-”

He rested his head against your forehead, breathing in your scent.

“I still love you. And I’d follow you anywhere.”

“B-but my job offer-” you started, dumbfounded. Bucky dismissed it with a shake of his head.

“I’ll move with you. We can sell this apartment and get a place somewhere near the Stark tower. And you can finally meet my friends and introduce me to Tony as your boyfriend.”

“R-really? You’d do that for me?” 

Bucky only smiled.

“I’d do anything for you, (Y/n) Stark.”

a/n: holy SHIT this was long. But um, I’m SO proud of this??? Like it was perfectly angsty and it fit the song so well. And I also love that it ended in fluff. Anyway, um, lmk if you enjoyed it in the comments below and sorry if there were grammar mistakes lol i wrote this in an hour and posted it unedited

-–> prompt list

regular taglist:  @wantyoubackpeter @platonic-plots @superwholockwannabe @rogers-car-dealerrr @xxmizzlexx @xdsockmonkey @princess-unicorn124

[inyournightmares97]

OMG ASKS ARE OPEN!! I've been thinking about requesting for a while now so... Please, please, pretty please a Jaebum hybrid!au. I don't have a paticular plot in mind but maybe something where he can lift up my spirits, cause I've been really stressed these days. Lol. Love youuuuuu~♡

Hybrid!au Jaebum

It was at your parents’ insistence that you had decided to adopt a hybrid.

They were worried about you, and with good reason. You were a young girl who lived alone in the city, you worked a lot and you had never been particularly confident or outgoing. Your mother was constantly stressed about your safety, and she insisted that she would feel much better if you had a hybrid to watch over you at home. A large dog hybrid, preferably, one that could protect you if the need arose.  

That was what you’d had in mind when you went to the adoption center. A bright, easygoing dog hybrid that would keep you safe and would be nice company. You followed the employee, who was took through the rooms where the hybrids up for adoption were kept. You had barely reached the dogs when you suddenly spotted one. He was rather large and broad-shouldered, so you wouldn’t have guessed he was a cat hybrid unless you saw the soft, pointy light brown ears peeking out of his head. Most of the hybrids looked rather eager at the thought of being adopted and were watching you with eager expressions. But not this one; he made no move to get up from his curled up corner and merely watched you calmly with a dull expression. He had dark, deep eyes and you found yourself stopping.

“Uh…” you called out for the attention of the employee. “Is he up for adoption?”

The employee blinked at you. “Jaebum? Certainly he is. But I thought you were looking for a dog hybrid? You might be misled by the fact that he’s rather broad-shouldered, but Jaebum is actually a cat.”

You bit your lip. “That’s okay with me.”

The employee blinked at you doubtfully. “Are you sure? I’m only saying because you were looking for a dog and I imagine you wanted someone bright and playful. Jaebum’s not a bad hybrid… but he’s very quiet and doesn’t open up easily. To be honest, he’s been through a lot. He was separated from his brothers in an accident and we’re trying to track them down.”

“Can I talk to him?”

You followed the employee over to where Jaebum was. He didn’t move much to greet you, but lifted his head and watched you with an intense gaze. His eyes flickered between you and the employee, who greeted Jaebum cheerfully.

“Jaebum-ah! This young lady is looking to adopt and she wants to talk to you. Why don’t two chat for a bit, and you can decide if you want to go home with her, huh?” he asked cheerfully. The employee turned and left you alone with Jaebum. You cleared your throat and kneeled down on the floor next to where he was curled up. He still watched you warily and you blinked. You had never had a hybrid before and you weren’t sure how to act around them. Unsure what to do to not offend him, you shakily held out your hand for him to shake.

“Hi,” you greeted nervously.

Jaebum’s eyes flickered down to your hand warily. No wonder he was a cat; there was something extremely sharp and intelligent about his gaze. He merely looked at it and flicked his tail lightly, ignoring your hand.

“Do you plan to tie your hybrid up?” he asked you bluntly.

You stared at him, eyes wide. “W-what? No! Do people even do that to cats? I wouldn’t dream of tying a hybrid up. As long as, you know, you don’t run away or anything. Not that I wouldn’t let my hybrid go anywhere, I’d just hope that he’d let me know whenever he was going somewhere…”

“I thought you wanted a dog.”

“Ahh… that was sort of what my parents wanted. But they live in the countryside and they’re never really going to visit me so they wouldn’t find out whether you’re a dog or a cat, would they?”

“So you plan to lie to them.”

“Uh….”

Jaebum turned away from you, resting his head on his hand and averting his gaze. You felt a little embarrassed. Had you just been rejected by a hybrid? It wasn’t a very pleasant feeling. You stood up slowly, trying to hide the fact that your cheeks were burning red and quietly exited the room. It hadn’t really occurred to you that the hybrid might reject you as an owner and now you were feeling really weird. You smiled forcefully at a couple of the other hybrids that watched you with hopeful eyes in the other rooms, and then trailed to the front desk.

“Uh, I think I’m just going to come back on another day…” you explained hesitantly to the woman behind the desk. She blinked at you in surprise.

“Oh! Are you sure? Did Jaebum scare you off? He’s a little hostile but he has a good heart, I promise. Why don’t you wait here and I’ll go talk to him. We have plenty of more playful hybrids if you’d like…” she trailed off and disappeared into the other room.

You bit your lip and sighed, wishing she would just let you leave. Part of you scolded yourself for thinking that things would be easy with a hybrid. They weren’t just animals, they had human emotions and you couldn’t pick and choose human beings like vegetables in the market. You wanted to leave but the woman behind the desk returned in a few moments and beamed at you.

“Looks like you left a good impression with Jaebum! He wants to be adopted by you. Or did you want to look at some more dogs, like you originally intended?”

You blinked. “He wants to be adopted?”

“Yup!”

X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X

Two days after adopting Jaebum, you were wondering whether the woman behind the counter had lied to you.

Jaebum didn’t seem particularly… upset or dissatisfied with you. Rather, he just looked uninterested in everything around him. You tried your best to make him comfortable. You googled the sort of food cat-hybrids liked best, and made sure your fridge was always stocked with them. You cleared out the spare room in your apartment that you’d been using as a storeroom and made him a bed in it.

You worked long hours and often came home late at night to find Jaebum already asleep. He never closed his bedroom door, he just opened one eye to watch you through the darkness as you made yourself dinner and left a glass of milk beside his door. In a way… you didn’t mind that he was so quiet. At least he was extremely low maintenance and never made a mess of the apartment.

Still… you wished he would talk to you sometimes.

One day, you finally worked up the courage to ask.

“Are you… happy here?” you blurted out.

Jaebum, half-way through a glass of milk, blinked up at you from where he was curled up on the sofa. He had a hint of a milk-stache but he wiped it away with the back of his hand instantly and blinked at you with his deep eyes.

You cleared your throat. “I mean… am I a bad owner? I know I work long hours and I’m not around a lot. But if there’s something I’m doing wrong or something I can do to make you happier, then I wish you would tell me. if it’s within my control then I would do it for you.”

He blinked. “I’m fine,” he said quietly.

You resolved to make Jaebum open up more. Maybe it was your fault for letting the atmosphere get so awkward. You tried to come home earlier to catch Jaebum before he went to sleep and you started talking to him. Regardless of whether he responded to you or not, you told him about your day. You talked about the assignments you were doing at work, how you and your co-workers had found a lovely new cafe at lunchtime and how your boss was being mean about deadlines. You invited him to watch television with you and asked him which movies he liked.

To your delight, Jaebum warmed up to you slowly. He came out of his room whenever you came home, and sat at the kitchen counter while you prepared dinner. He rarely responded to your ranting and chattering about work, but one of his ears was always perked up and you knew he was listening. He would curl up on the sofa whenever you watched television and if he didn’t like the channel you were watching, he would blink at you and stare pointedly at the remote. (Apparently Sex and the City reruns were not to his taste). He even started to help around the house. You came home certain days to find the dishes done or the laundry folded. When you thanked him, his cheeks flushed a light tint of pink but he didn’t respond.

It all seemed to be going well, until things got worse at work. There was a huge new client contract and your boss had you working overtime almost every day. You were exhausted from listening to his nagging and the stress of the work was getting to you. Jaebum waited up until you got home and you could see the slight worry in his eyes as you went straight to bed, dinner and bath forgotten.

Soon, even sleep began to evade you. Somebody new had moved in next door and apparently they enjoyed blasting loud music at night. You weren’t one for confrontation so you tried to ignore it, but the thumping music had you tossing and turning in bed at night. Finally one day, you’d had enough. You got up and marched straight out of the apartment in your pajamas, Jaebum’s wary eyes following you as you walked out.

You knocked loudly on you neighbour’s door. “Excuse me? Could you turn the music down a little?” you yelled through the front door.

The door swung open and you were greeted with the smiling face of an extremely handsome man. He stared you up and down and then grinned. “Ah! Hi, neighbour. I’m Jackson Wang. We’re having a housewarming party right now, so why don’t you come in and grab a beer?”

Your head was throbbing and your nerves were on edge. You forced a smile at this Jackson and shook your head. “It’s a weeknight. I’ve been working long hours and I have to get to office early tomorrow. Could you please turn the music down? I’m sure the other neighbours are disturbed too.”

He laughed. “I don’t see anyone complaining.”

You felt your cheeks flush red in humiliation as Jackson shut the door in your face and you were left standing there alone. You glanced back at your front door to see that Jaebum was peeking at you; great. So he had seen you get completely ignored too. Could this get any better? You began to trudge back to your apartment when Jaebum walked out.

“Uh-Jaebum…”

He didn’t look at you, he merely walked past you and banged loudly on Jackson’s door. Jaebum was usually sitting curled up but at his full height and with his broad shoulders, he looked rather scary and intimidating. When Jackson reopened the front door, Jaebum simply shoved him aside and stormed into his apartment. You followed him in horror, watching as Jaebum shoved past a few people and reached the sound system. He grabbed a bunch of cords and pulled hard, plunging the party into silence.

Jackson gaped. “What the- who the hell are you-”

“Keep it off,” Jaebum hissed at him, his eyes flashing dangerously. You were still in shock as Jaebum came over to you, grabbed your hand gently and pulled you back towards your own apartment. He led you inside before shutting the door behind him and locking it firmly.

You blinked. “Jaebum… what if he gets mad?”

“I’ll handle it,” he said firmly. You watched as Jaebum coolly went over to the sofa and curled up in his usual spot, closing his eyes. You felt a sudden warmth in your chest and you smiled at him. Gently approaching him, you sat down beside him and cleared your throat.

“Thank you, Jaebum.”

He blinked at you for a long moment, before suddenly tilting his head downwards so that you could only see the top of his head and his messy hair. He pointed at his head and then cleared his throat. “Pat,” he said simply.

You stared at him. “Huh?”

His cheeks were flushed pink but he was trying to hide them from you by ducking his head. Jaebum merely lifted your hand and placed it on his own head gently. “When I do something good, you… pat,” he mumbled.

Oh. You suddenly understood what he wanted. Unable to resist a giggle, you stroked the top of his head in a gentle manner. His hair was soft and you could feel the warmth of his skin. You peeked at his face to see that he had closed his eyes and had the slightest hint of a smile on his mouth. You resumed the patting, letting your fingers run through his hair and smiling when he let out a quiet, contented purr.

Maybe Jaebum was just a big cat after all.

X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X

@ijustwantacue, I’m not sure if this is what you wanted but I hope you liked it! I’ve never written a hybrid!au before and I’ve read very few so I wasn’t sure how to go about it. But tsundere!Jaebum and protective!Jaebum are my secret fantasies, so lol. I hope you feel less stressed!!!! 

I’m sorry the rest of the requests are taking so long, I’ll work on them soon! 

[toastydehmer]

Colors Ask

Original list can be found here! Though some of these were doctored up a wee bit just so I could make better sense of them.

[RED] What are you most passionate about? How did this passion develope?

My passion has been creating these ideas and worlds and AUs or even just overarching plots to stories I'll probably never write. It started with my voracious habit to read - something I probably do WAY too much of if I'm too be honest. As I read I would theorize and extrapolate from what the story told so far and I guess it became a habit. Now I look at fandoms I like or pairings and suddenly and writing down notes, sketching designs, and looking up references for this whole new Alternate Universe just because I can. I love it!

[ORANGE] How many pieces of fruit do you aim to eat per day? What do you actually manage?

Uh, I don't eat often bub. A meal at McDonalds is enough to fill me up for an entire 24-hour period. I eat fruit when my body craves it which tends to be about once a week to every other week.

[YELLOW] What's your happy place? Real or fictional?

Okay. That 'happy place' idea is utter bullshit. When I get an anxiety/panick attack, I don't go to a tranquil place in my mind and start to feel better. That doesn't help because guess what, an idle mind is the perfect playground for personal demons. Happy Places probably exist but they don't do jackshit once you're already in one and besides, I couldn't never keep my thoughts straight enough in the middle of an attack to make a decision.

[GREEN] Do you prefer indoors or outdoors? What's your favorite flower to smell?

Indoors during winter and late autumn, outdoors the rest of the year. I like to just lay in the grass when the sun is high on a clear, breezy day and bask in the light like a cat. As for flower... hell if I know. A flower is a flower to my brain.

[BLUE] What is your favorite mode of long distance transportation? Have you ever been on a plane? If so, what was it like?

Uh, car. I've only been a plane plane twice (nearly passed right out walling to my seat the first time I was so terrified) but both were utterly boring. The book I brought with I finished before half the trip was over. Though it was fun seeing the clouds, I think they would get boring after so many trips. And besides, in a car trip on my own, I can play whatever music I want however loud I please.

[INDIGO] What's your top three names? Would you ever consider having children?

I actually have a list in Google Drive because my boyfriend and I had started talking about the possibility of having kids sometime in the next five to ten years. Looking at it, it's hard to choose but it follows a pattern of a Latin, Greek, or Irish word that had meaning.

Daughter: it would be Eirini (Greek: Peace), Elpida (Greek: Hope), and Nadur (Irish: Nature).

Son: Anam (Latin: Soul), Rioga (Irish: Royal), and Nostrum (Latin: Ours).

[VIOLET] What's your favorite cake flavour? Are you any good at baking?

Chocolate hands down. If it's chocolate you got me. And yes, I am very good at baking. My two favorite recipes are Red Velvet cake with Cream Cheese frosting and Flour-less Chocolate Torte. Both arevcompletely from scratch mind you, frosting and all. So god damned delicious.

[PURPLE] Do you support the Royal Family? Who is your favorite historical figure and why?

Royal Family? Well, I don't know anything about them instead of Royal Family how about President? And no, I do not support a large portion of Trump's decisions mainly to do with his methods and the nuances of those decisions.

Also, I don't really have a favorite hostiorical figure? Or even one I like? To me they're like one big tapestry that details the human race, one which is still continually being added to. They are a part of the whole. Which to put in layman's terms means I like history overall more than any singular person involved.

[PINK] What is your favorite animal? Zoos or farms?

CATS!!! I love house cats, big cats, wild cats, domesticated cats, exotic cats, local cats, cats, cats, cats! But not the musical, lol. But I'd rather see cats in their natural habits. Hells, I'd rather see all animals in their natural habits when considering non-domesticaed animal breeds. I don't like either of them if the purpose is to just visit the animals in them.

[TURQUOISE] Do you like being in the sea? What coastal town is your favorite to visit?

Hm. I was born and raised in the land of ten thousand lakes and have only ever been to the coast twice, the Gulf of Mexico and the Southern Californian coast in specific. I was able to wade into the ocean when I went to the Gulf but I don't think that would be a good choice to base my decision on as I was stung my floating remnants of jellyfish and then didn't risk going in again after that. To make things easier, let's go with large bodies of water in general, to which the answer is a wholesome yes. I love to swim and float in the water.

[MINT] Do you like astrology? Do you consider Pluto a 'real planet'?

Ah. This question. I do occasionally practice witchcraft when I have a good purpose to do so - such as making a charm for a friend, cleansing my home, and other such things. Astrology is part of what I do so yes, I like it in the sense that it helps me work or stronger correspondences. As for Pluto....bot really. Pluto is a dwarf planet by scientific standards. In my practice, there isn't much to tie it to outside of a person's sign related to it. It's hard to work with it because of this as all the other planets (substituting earth with the moon here) have ample correspondences.

[CRIMSON] Have you ever broken and bone before? Do you enjoy going to the dentist?

Hell no to both questions. Next!

[AMBER] Do you have a license to drive? If now, how do you get around?

Yes I do! I have a 2007 Volkswagen Jetta Wolfsberg edition. My first car, used it be my dad. I've had it for just about two years now and I keep her in tip top shape as much as a possibly can! Just wish I had a proper garage so I could do my own small repairs and work on her.

[LIME] Do you like monkeys? Do you believe the theory of evolution?

No, I don't really care for monkeys. And from a scientific standpoint, yes I do.

[TANGERINE] How tall are you? Do you ever wish you were taller or shorter?

I am literally just a hair below 5'11" and for a woman my age where I live, that is really tall. I match height with most men I've met. But I do sometimes wish I was shorter just because my height and stature paired with my resting bitch face tend to intimidate or slightly scare people when they first meet me. I often have to explain that, "No, I'm not angry, this is just my normal look when I'm not really feeling any specific emotion. You're fine, I swear. I just look like this." And I'm a gentle giant. Think BFG if you know it. I'm the one who will jump in to protect and be a meat shield for someone else but am unable to raise a hand for my own safety. People being scared of me just makes me feel really damn sad and depressed.

[AZURE] Which gender and sexuality do you most identify with?

Uuuuuuh. Hm. Well- that is kinda a hard question? For gender I think the closest I can relate to is genderfliud. I don't have any body dysphoria but I do know there are times I feel way more masculine than feminine. The reverse is just as equally true. And then there are times where I don't feel like I have a specific gender. Sexuality can make this kind of hard to pin down for me. Put it this way. I am panromantic but I find males sexually arousing much more than I do females. And for those curious (unlikely anyone) I'll go by any pronoun. He, she, it, they/them, I really don't give a fuck.

[BEIGE] What is your favorite pop/soda? Do you enjoy alcohol?

P E P S I. Coke is an abomination, something which my boyfriend heavily disagrees with the heathen... I don't....really like to drink often. Alcoholism kind of runs in the family and due to that, I'm more likely to form a codependency on it as well. My family on my Dad's side is heavily German if that helps make more sense. But I do enjoy sweet wines the very few times I allow myself a glass, no more than two.

[CORAL] What is your favorite Disney movie? Who does it better, Disney or Pixar?

You- you can't just ASK me this!! I grew up on Disney! To pick a favorite would be blasphemous of me!!! Also, if that didn't make it clear, Pixar can suck my sack. Disney for the win.

[SAPPHIRE] Do you wear any jewelry? What do you think looks best on other people?

I wear a silver ring on me right middle finger everyday 24/7 and only take it off during my job or when I'm going into any amount of water. I used to wear earrings as well but I lost my silver pair and I can only wear gold or silver. Yes, I have tried to nail polish trick and hypoallergenic. No, I couldn't get either to work with me. My ears would still puss around the non-pure metal earrings. Now I only wear any of my other earrings when I'm doing something special and never for more than a few hours or so.

[GOLD] What do you consider your biggest achievement? When was the last time you won (at) something?

Ah, achievements, things that

[shineyma]

I watched an interview segment where Daniela describes the day her water broke (during her first pregnancy I think) and Eric was out with his brother, so Daniella went over to Eric's house, and Eric's wife had to call Eric and ask him to buy Daniela some pads to avoid a big mess for the ride to the hospital maybe, and Eric asked, "Tampon pads?" Daniella's recount was hilarious.

I've written a whole lot beyond this point, do maybe a second ask is in order. That way you could ignore it (you really could), post only your reply or put it under a read more. It's more work for you but I still feel bad about the space that ask about Sam's family takes up on your blog. I did not think it through. (1/2)

lol, I appreciate the consideration, nonnie! Part two of your ask is under the cut. And lol to that interview quote!!

Kensi is back before the end of S05 turns out. I thought she gave birth in the spring, so I figured we had sevedal episodes to go with her on the special assignment. Then I read she gave birth in December, when things seemed to come to a head during the episode the team rescues her and it seemed just too soon. It's amazing that both she and the show's team managed to give Kensi as much screentime as they did. This Afghanistan storyline had me hooked actually. I was a bit sad that it was over as quickly. Despite the limitations and the fact that I love the team together, seeing Kensi star in a side story running parallel to the main plot, without the others stealing into it, was great. The story was fascinating, Kensi's dynamic with Granger and Sabatino was interesting to watch, the connection to her past a nice touch. Bonus points to the writers for not attempting a love triangle and for writing Jack becoming a Muslim and saying he found peace in it. I do also appreciate the few times immigrants they've interrogated have told them off about the U.S. 'intervention' in the Middle East and Callen, Sam or whoever it was just kept their mouth shut and you could see they did so because they couldn't deny those accusations. It's quite surprising and nice. Back to Kensi, I wish they'd taken a couple more episodes to give her Afghanistan storyline a slower closure. It seemed too rushed. I would have liked to see her more in action, trying to save Jack and herself, parallel to the team's rescue attempt. It could have at least been a two-parter. Still glad we got it at all.

One complaint I have is about Deeks. I don't know if I'm being dramatic here but I feel they've been mistreating him far too much. It's not so much about Kensi because they've developed their own kind of banter and Kensi shows him how much she cares. Although, remember right before Kensi left for Afghanistan, the day after the night we're supposed to assume they slept together, she was hostage to someone they were chasing and he was using her as a human shield, and Deeks didn't take the shot. Remember how she punched him? I'm still angry and bitter she did that, let alone that she didn't apologize, let even more alone that she acted as though what she did was right. I fully understand what the reasoning behind it all is or is supposed to be, but it was so wrong. And then, to circle back, I hate the way Callen and Sam have been treating Deeks since the moment he joined the team. It took Deeks withstanding torture and not giving up Michelle, torture that left him traumatized, for Sam to let up on the 'teasing'. I'm not even touching Callen, who actually tried to get Sam to stop being soft on Deeks 'just because of what Deeks did for Michelle and because he misses his partner who's gone on a dangerous special assignment'. Maybe I'm being dramatic but I really think the line on the teasing they give Deeks has been crossed a long time ago and I don't think they're ever going to show any remorse for it.

There was this show I got into when it was already on S14. One of the main characters that was there since S02 left and it wasn't the actor's choice. It was my favorite character out of the entire show. Anyway, I was binging S11 when the news broke. I finished it and that was it for me. They were my comfort character and I tried to watch the next two seasons they were still in but two episodes in, I stopped. I don't know why? Keeping new content of them for the future? Not wanting to watch about 40 hours more of them knowing they are the last ever and it sucks? It's been a few years since then and I haven't regretted it so far. It somehow feels right that I didn't reach the end of that character. And I've done it with other shows too. Once I got past my obsessive need to see shows and franchises through, quiting things became easy and a good tactic when something you loved decides to change the things you love most about it.

I'm sorry about Nell. It sucks. And hopefully the drama in your life is not too bad. I had some of it too, so my binging turned slow as molasses (is it even binging any more?) when it started off so well. And then the drama was capped with that very final, very irreversible bad thing that happens and the world just turns a little dimmer, the colors and just all of it a bit duller. Hence, also, my rudely late replies. Hopefully, your drama is at least a few or several steps away from that.

Oh, chef's kiss for Nell and Nallen in 5x05 ('cute girls with guns') and 5x14 or 5x15 (you know, with Nell fighting that guy in the boatshed's interrogation room and then Callen lowering her gently to the ground and brushing her hair back and all that Nallen goodness). I'd actually seen gifs of the second thing before but none had the fight and I hadn't paid attention to the episode number or even season, so I was very pleasantly surprised and miiiiight have replayed it a half dozen times. (2/2)

I also enjoyed what they did with Jack, although I feel like they never really resolve Hetty's part in things. Like....dick move, Hetty. Very dick move. And minor spoiler, but Sabatino returns, and while the entire team seems to hate him 5ever, I actually really like him lol. He's funny! And cute.

You are not alone in feeling that Deeks is mistreated by the guys, nonnie! There are whole communities of Deeks fans that hate it a LOT. I definitely feel like they cross the line sometimes....but conversely, I feel like Deeks crosses the line pretty often himself. I think in general the writers aren't great at judging when too much is enough, you know? But yeah, that doesn't stop anytime soon, I'm afraid.

Awwwww, I'm sorry you had that experience before with a show, nonnie! But yeah, sometimes quitting is the best thing you can do. It's better, I think, than continuing to drag it out and watching when you're not enjoying it anymore....then it's too easy to become bitter and then you can't even enjoy the earlier parts you used to love.

I'm also sorry you had drama followed by something worse! I hope things are getting better for you <3 For myself, things got very busy at work and then I was impacted by Hurricane Ida, which chased me out of state for two weeks while I waited for power and water to be restored to my apartment. I spent those two weeks living minutes from my mom and brother, which was nice but has had the impact that now I miss them a lot more than I did before.....like somehow I got used to living away from them and being close erased that adjustment? And now I'm not as good at it as I used to be. In fact, I'm actively hoping for my employer to have an opening there so I can transfer back. So I've been very emotional lately, on top of which the ongoing recovery from Ida meant more work for me at my job.

Whew, didn't mean to rant about that! Sorry.

And yessssssss, those are some of the BEST Nallen moments!!! I loooove him tenderly brushing her hair out of her face. That's probably my second favorite--or third favorite, there are two things coming that are tied for first favorite. So you've got that to look forward to!!

Sorry this took so long, nonnie! I hope life is going well this week! <3

[survivor-ingary]

Episode 3 - "RIP tribe Jenkins we were too powerful" - Riley

The 3 tribes of Pendragon, Hatter, and Jenkins have been reorganized and condensed into 2 new Hatter and Pendragon Tribes. Tribal immunity is Scavenger Hunt.

The fact I have Brayden and Toph in my merged tribe boosts my serotonin. i have a feeling colin may be someone to keep an eye out for in the future now...

RIP tribe Jenkins we were too powerful. I guess we'll see how Pendragon pans out.

yall doin me dirty putting me with brayden i just hope that by some miracle me him anastasia and ellie can work together? like i still dont know if theyre plotting on my ass vdshibshj i know brayden told anastasia to take me out when this game started oop but lemme see if dis works. i hope riley follows the logic of the old tribe sticking together and thatll be 5 votes. im kinda obsessed with toph like since the beginning of the game he looks like someone i could totally play with so def wanna work on that relationship. ava and nya? i believe? lets say hello and work on those relationships as well. dis is a bit overwhelming but we shall see how it goes

uh... well... i am SCREWED. me and ginny were the only ones separated from the Jenkins tribe... RIP. 4 pendragons, 2 hatters, and 2 jenkins... the main things i see here are pendragon yoinking one of the hatters / jenkins and voting the other off... OR a 4-4 tie... OR they're gonna target one of me or ginny cuz none of us have gone to tribal council yet. this is really dicey, and I need to tread very, very carefully from hereon. (ALSO GINNY BARELY TALKS PLS I NEED YOUR HELP GIRL)

This swap actually turned out pretty amazing for me. I still have Keith and Moth who I worked semi-close with in the pre-swap. Additionally, I've met up with Colin and Babs. A little Raffy magic could keep me very safe on this tribe. I think Kenneth is super fun as he is a newbie AND active. He will definitely make it far in this game. I hope, at the very least, that I can be by his side to make that happen. However, I am wary he might just be making these strong social connections with everyone. As a final note, OG Pendragons have this tribe 4 to 8. That's both good and bad. Good because we have numbers. Bad because that may make people target me very early on just for being a part of it. So, I have decided that if I were to throw any of my OG Pendragons to the wolves it would be Jonathan as I haven't been able to connect with them as well as Keith and Moth. Other than that, I hope this tribe doesn't have to go to tribal all that often between now and the next swap/merge. These people are lovely.

I'm getting a bad feeling about this... Since most of my Jenkins tribemates are on the other tribe, I KNOW they're good cuz we just keep getting W's... so I think there is a good chance we might lose the challenge. I contributed a good amount, so I hope that the target won't be on me if ever we lose the challenge :( I really don't wanna go, and I wanna reunite with Dennis/Ellie and maybe Anastasia and get further in the game.

i worked hard on this confessional

Our tribe did our absolute best in this challenge. I have no idea who is getting targeted if we go to tribal as everyone is so quiet. All I know is that I want to keep Colin, Kenneth, and Keith close to me for this stage of the game. They are the only ones who consistently talk to me. Challenge results: Pendragon wins due to a 10% advantage, Hatter Tribe must go to tribal council the following day.

THANK GOD I FINALLY GET TO GO TO A TRIBAL, ITS BEEN TOO LONG!!!!

Look, before you go to tribal with a group of people it feels like there’s a barrier of game socialization because you haven’t been able to go to tribal with them. But leading up to tribal and after it, a whole new can of worms is available for game talk. Unfortunately it’s an extremely simple vote because Nya has ghosted all of us, but at least we still get to go to tribal so I can talk game with more people even if it’s only a small amount with this easy vote. But who knows, someone might decide to switch shit up!

And also I absolutely love this tribe (Minus Nya cause I haven’t met them) so I’m glad that I get to go forward with this group although I won’t be nearly as happy if we go to tribal again because as I said, I do enjoy this group of people a lot

Moth (Tumblr will only allow me 10 images so player banners stop now, whoops) I believe the only reason I will make it to the next round is because of Raffys advantage. I’d be so screwed otherwise

I like Babs. They got good vibes.

Also I’d kill to know how the other tribe reacted

Dennis in a perfect world i would try to not vote out nya but bdksksksoksks theyve done it to themselves. no need to make waves. unless someone else is secretly plotting on me i think this is about to be an easy tribal. damn one point. miss ellie had her name down on stuff that she didnt do. also overslept that first challenge is she purposey trying to sabotage and play the villain? who knowssss also ive broken my streak of never going to tribe tribal sigh

Toph So what’s happening, I can’t remember the last time I made a confession but the tea yall ?! Soooo the tribe swap happened and my gut was right soooo okay intuition work ! I feel like I really like everyone from the merge and nya as remained inactive since, after losing the challenge it seems like an easy vote but you can never be to safe, I have my little allinnce with Brayden and Ava which is wig and I really dig Ellie , Anastasia, and Dennis too, I’m gonna be so nervous if we have to go to tribal agian because it could be me ! I’m not to sure about Reilly but they seem nice ! I feel pretty good with Anastasia as well and feel we could rope her into an alliance easily, I’m just gonna due my best right now to play the middle, keep my head down and speak positively. I really need to find an idol or something even better just so I don’t have to worry as super much and just plain worry then lol. If anything I’m gonna stay loyal to brayden and Ava the most since there my day one homies. Brayden seems to be close with Anastasia which could definitely help in are favor of having the numbers on are side. But could mean he would easily cut me for her if needed, so that mean I need to get closer with Ava, just to gaurnetee my safety, I have to look out for me this game and only me, making sure the numbers are kn my side I’m constantly on the right side of the vote should help me strageticly float to the end and win my crown thank you very much. I’m also lowkey worried about alliance’s being made right now without me! Everyone seems to be online but my chats are a bit quite but this could be me overthinking things mmmhmm I’m not sure, we’ll anyways it was nice to vent to y’all. :)

Riley Nooooooo I can't believe we lost by just one point. Damn the Hatter tribe's secret bonus point boost >:(

Kenneth I am honestly in such a shock that we won that challenge... Raffy really came in clutch and helped us win AAAAAAAAAAAA!!!! Now I don't have to worry about being randomly blindsided or targeted for at least a couple more days now pls I just hope we get lucky again and another swap happens where I would be on the right side of the numbers, all prepared for merge domination >:) Raffy Oof. I know the other tribe is MAD because I would be too. Like, we only won because of my advantage giving us a 1 POINT LEAD. That's crazy! Honestly, this works for me as I can still focus o n making strong social connections within this tribe. By the time we go to tribal, I will be so integrated with this tribe that voting me out would do a lot more short-term harm than long-term good. I want to see if Kenneth would start an alliance with me as that is someone I want to work closely with. In this alliance? I have no idea. I'll probably let Kenneth take the lead on that since I want him to feel like he is in charge. Dennis nothing is real

if i go tonight i would applaud it bc i am so sure nya is going. it would be a goop if the vote really wasnt nya but everyone is more or less trying to do the easy thing i think. i just hope she is okay and just too busy for dis.

some time has gone by and im just chilling. im not chilling because i feel safe, im chilling because i dont know what else to do. i cant be all game talk 24/7 because then im an outcast and would get targeted. besides the obvi alliances like a+b and maybe(?!?!??) an e(?!) in there, idk what alliances there are. like there has to be something but i dont have the picture yet. as yall know im not in any alliances in my current tribe besides i guess ellie who i fear is a saboteur lol and most likely working with a+b. a+b are such a double edged sword for me ugh. am i really in their best interests???????????????? am i really in ellies best interest???? do they know about her idol too?????????? likeeeee thats the issue. if im not really in their best interests then im the next to go after nya. i am probs very low if not the lowest on this tribe if dats true. i mean what if i really am in their best interests and theyre all genuinely trying to work with me? idk! if not then im next to go efuhijdhvbf and i fear im probably not.

i really like toph. taurus sun (in the 12th!) gemini everything else king. hes got social game on lock like who wouldnt wanna work with him ?! and hes a cutie ?! ?! ?! but i seen the chart -.- i know what hes doin. i think hes working with ellie. but he reaches out to me and probably others but i like our conversations. (but im sure everyone loves their conversations with toph!! hes great!!!!! friendly ol toph wont harm a fly ?!) i hope he likes me and sees i actually would wanna work with him above all the gorls and chooses me over them too.

ava also knows what theyre doing. saturnian legend. we barely talk but little short bits here and there. i hope its bc theyre busy but im sure ellie is talking to them more than me amongst others too. oop also possible alliance, brayden toph ava who all swapped together. so gotta keep that in mind. but yeah i dont really think im much of their priority esp if theyre on vacay they would hear a name and not stress too much if its mine bc we dont have ties like that.

riley and i talk here and there, had a lil chat today

someone once told me that i just look like someone you cant trust but you can :( sometimes :)

so yeah here i am having lots of thoughts over the last few days.

maybe im not super super invested just yet bc i feel like the rug is gonna get swept out right from under me again :))) also back on my bs telling people im a leo moon. i shouldnt weaponize astrology but hey.