#Not my fault. But you can blame this on me:

[3liza]

part of the age-phobia that haunts millennials and gen z is our parents' fault. i only know this because my parents actively worked against it my entire childhood and now i am almost completely lacking any sort of angst related to aging. my mom inoculated me against it by approving of aging bodies. my mom told me she didn't care about her sagging breasts or gaining weight because her body had worked hard for her and fed her children and was strong and capable and beautiful. my dad said things like "you're going to be beautiful when you're 40, i cant wait to see you all grown up". neither of them worshiped youth or spoke with envy about anyone's lack of age. they both have friends who are older and younger than they are. it is actually our parents' job to do this. this is what "values" is supposed to mean, they're supposed to give us frameworks to think about and navigate life with, but the term has been so abused and is a neutral thing in the first place, people can have shit values. but yes you are actually supposed to teach your children what to think about things. and you'll end up doing it anyway so you better do it on purpose, and give them lenses through which to see the world that make them stronger and braver and more capable, not fearful and helpless. idk. the older i get the less i blame people for not having the right mental skills and the more i frown and shake my head at whoever's parents didnt teach them that they would be 50 years old one day and how to anticipate and value that process

[sheiktothepast]

Translation (localized)! Notes & direct TL below cut

(對不起我的中文不不不好My chinese is not very good, I used a dictionary to help write this. Speaker marked with whos body they are in, not who they actually are. Action descriptors are marked with [brackets].)

???: Brave one

Vile brave one

I will curse you all

I will curse your souls

L: Ah it was a dream!

[clicks tongue]

My hair is all messed up. I couldn’t sleep well at all!

[hair falls down]

Ah?

Ah?

AH AH AH

MY HAIR

IT’S PINK

W: Stop screaming! it’s still early

L: Ah! Who are you?? Why are you wearing my handsome face?? What do you plan on doing???

H: First thing in the morning and it’s so damned noisy!! Are you idiots??

What- who are you?? You made a mistake disguising yourself as me unless you’re suicidal!

First note it’s 8 am and I have not slept at all.

Second, I’ll go down from top to bottom:

First I have no clue who that shadow thing is meant to be. If it is meant to be something/one specific

Second off, due to the nature of this comic and it being an incredibly common facet of Chinese the exclamation marker of 啊 (a) was used like crazy in this comic. It is literally an exclamation. Whenever it was used for the most part it ended up translated as an “Ah!” Since that’s a decent equivalent in English, it was also used as the “are you” in what I translated as “are you idiots??” By “Warriors” as a moreso interjection thing. I also earnestly have no clue what words are actually said by him in that part, I know he’s calling them idiots but I don’t reallyy know how so. Either he’s calling them some saying I’m unfamiliar with or he’s just calling them deficient in smarts. I think. When calling someone an idiot typically I think you’d use different characters… one mostly means stick. So I assume it’s a saying, this dictionary is lying to me, or who knows.

I could’ve translated “stop screaming” as “shut up” or “stop it”… lots of possibilities.

The very last line starts with 不是!?, meaning “not is!?” (Is not, less directly) (can also mean fault/blame, I guess) and I’m not quite sure what it means here. Also the line is funny as hell to me directly translated and I don’t know why. Are you courting death by turning yourself into a disguise of me. It’s just so formal sounding.

Anywho,

(Kinda) Direct/rough translation

???: Brave one

Vile brave one

(To) curse you (plural)

(To) curse your spirit(s)/soul(s)

L: Ah it was a dream!

[tongue click (this might be after the following line imo it doesn’t matter)]

Couldn’t sleep good (exclamation)! Hair turned completely wrong now.

[droops down]

Ah?

Ah?

AH AH AH

MY HAIR

PINK

W: Stop doing that! (? or “it’d be good if you’d stop doing that” and I doubt it but “it’s easy to stop doing that y’know”) Right now it’s still early!

L: Ah who are you! Re-wearing my handsome face? What evil intentions do you have!

H: First thing in the morning it's so damned noisy!! Do you lack smarts!! (See notes above)

(Not sure how to translate, it's literally "is not!?") who are you? By turning yourself into a disguise of me are you courting death?

[kikker-oma]

For you :)

Based on this piece of art:

Time woke up with a jolt, peaceful sleep warping into panic. He didn’t know why he sat up, kicking off the comfortable in blankets until he saw the red looming over the room and illuminating it. The rest of the room was dark. It had to be nighttime. He looked behind him and the moon was blood red, flakes of malice visible in the air outside. He could feel his heart pound wildly, and flashes of a moon crashing down into the earth, and being too late, and running loop after loop came to his mind. He turned back around, facing the door and the wall, seeing the shadow of the full shape of the moon and he ran out of the room, finding the bathroom because he knew it didn’t have any windows.

He closed the door and slid against it, forcing his suddenly heavy breathing to die down. The sound of a gurgling roar shook the earth and he flinched. Then he made a split decision and carefully went outside the bathroom, stepping into the bare hallway and opened the door. He inhaled the malice and coughed miserably before looking up. He couldn’t see where exactly that thundering roar had come from but he could soon see monsters returning to flesh with a magenta glow, cheering obnoxiously.

He could almost make out a grin on the moon and his blood turned to ice as he saw all the monsters appearing. He clutched his head, hoping this was all a nightmare but it wasn’t. Link wanted to run back inside more than anything, escape the moon and Termina and stop rewinding time over and over but he was frozen in the crimson glare of the large, looming object in the equally as red sky. A sob wracked his body. “Navi! Please! Come back!”

Help me, he wanted to scream at the blue fairy, as tears streamed down on his face in a seemingly relentless flow. But she wasn’t there. Neither was Tatl, who would’ve darted to his side in an instant in a worry that she would easily deflect. He buried his face in his knees, clutching them to his chest tightly, like if he’d let go he’d unravel into the ground. Flashes of a dying Zora, a dead Goron, a grief-filled Princess of the Deku Scrubs and many long dead souls rising up from the ground, as Stalfos. Flashes of a woman in denial, willing to face the end of the world if her love wouldn’t find her. Flashes of so many unaware people that would be crushed by the falling moon. His wailing echoed loud in the air.

“WATCH OUT!”

Link looked up to see Wild there, holding up a broadsword, and standing over him. His cape flew in the wind. Time realized belatedly it was no longer red out. The moon was back to normal. There were monsters snarling and sniveling in front of them…and yet Time couldn’t find the strength to get up and help. He was still shaking, and sobbing. The champion launched into battle and he yelled, “Get inside, it’s not safe out here.”

“I-I’m not leaving you,” The old man drew in a trembling deep breath and summoned the courage to stand.

Wild hesitated but gave him a nod and plunged his sword into a Lizalfos’ shoulder. Time grabbed his sword and hacked at their foes alongside the champion, and there was actually something relieving about the thrill of battle, not having to worry about any other thing than winning this small fight. When the monsters had all vanished in a puff of purple smoke, with wounds dripping black blood, all Time had was a nick on the face and all Wild had was a small bruise on his head. The old man sheathed his weapon and gave a sigh, feeling awfully tired. “I’m sorry. I should’ve been paying attention to my surroundings, and it could’ve cost my life. That’s not a burden you should’ve had to deal with. You should’ve been able to get your rest.”

“I can never sleep during blood moons,” Wild said simply. “During my journey if I let myself sleep, even up in the trees, monsters would return and find me…and they are pretty terrible. I don’t blame you, and you shouldn’t either.”

It was his fault but he couldn’t burden the champion even more. He gave a nod, slipping on a mask of stoicism, and he dipped his head. “Thank you. I’ll be upstairs, but please get something for that bruise.”

“Get something for that cut,” Wild returned, but was frowning deeply.

He left and absently bandaged his cheek where a small amount of blood had been shed. He stared out the window and forced himself to breathe, remembering the red. The face—no that wasn’t right. There wasn’t really a face in this moon. Not like Termina’s at least. He went back to bed, covering himself with the blanket and putting his head on the pillow but no matter how much he tossed and turned, he couldn’t fall back into that peaceful sleep from before.

He heard the twist of the doorknob and his door was pushed open, as quietly as possible. He saw green and blonde and a familiar face enter the room, closing the door gently behind him. The captain came over and said softly, “You’re awake.”

“Can’t sleep,” He said truthfully. “But I’ll get over it.”

“You don’t have to hide around me, Mask.”

Time sucked in the icy air, turning away. Wars put a hand on his shoulder, eyes shining with nothing but warmth. “Answer me honestly, are you okay right now?”

He took a long moment to answer before he wordlessly shook his head. The captain made a soft noise and asked quietly if he could hug him and the old man let himself be wrapped in a hug, in the scarred yet warm and wrong arms of his brother. “You don’t have to tell me why, but I want you to know I’m here if you need anything. I’d go fight the moon for you.”

Time choked on wet laughter, knowing that Wars had no idea how much that would help him. He leaned into the captain’s embrace and the restless hours of the night caught up to him. He was safe. He wasn’t alone. He let warm tears fall as he closed his eyes and soon drifted into darkness.

IM SO SORRY I HAVENT LOOKED AT MY INBOX IN AGES☠️☠️☠️

This is LOVELY!!! I love that Time in his panic goes outside and is immediately surrounded by monsters while he's having PTSD flashbacks to termina! And wild and wars helping him fight and also comfort him is so sweet❤️❤️❤️

They're brothers!!

Thank you so much Uni🥰

[citrus-writing]

Hello-hello

In your headcanons, Chrollo is very careful with reader, afraid to scare her away with some thoughtless actions or words. Especially when it comes to intimacy

But could something happen that would make Chrollo just take her by force?

Perhaps something made him very angry or upset, but that wasn’t fault of the reader herself?(He’s a leader of the Troupe after all…)

Will Chrollo blame himself the next day?

Spoilers for the yorknew and succession war arcs! 

Warnings: nsfw, non-con 

------------------------------------

I imagine there are a few things that could upset Chrollo so deeply he acts impulsively, and when it comes to his darling, the impulse he’s constantly holding himself back from is taking them by force. Because he wants them so badly, and normally he has a great deal of self control, but when his grip on his emotions start to slip, so does his control over his more innate desires when it comes to you.

The deaths of his fellow troupe members hit him hard, harder than he’d like to admit, and as much as he tried to push the despair from his mind, it left him reeling. How someone could be there one moment and then gone the next- of course he’d always know this, but to lose so many so dear to him so fast has him desperate for something to ground him. 

And of course, it’s you. You’re all that he needs, he knows this, he’s always known. Just to hold you close, smell the scent of your hair, feel your soft breath on his skin, listen to the soft beating of your heart. It’d be enough. It’d be more than enough. 

Chrollo wraps his arms around you tight, pulling your back against him as you lay together in his bed. It’s not uncommon to lay like this together, but you can tell something is wrong. His breathing is a little off, and his heartbeat is pounding. 

His hands trace little patterns on your skin, inching over your bare arms and across the fabric of your nightclothes. It’s not like him, to get so handsy with you. It’s so unlike him that you squirm a little, uncomfortable with the advances he’s making. 

“Chrollo-” you whisper, unsure what’s gotten into him and scared of what it could mean. 

“Forgive me, my love.” he whispers against the back of your neck, before pressing an open mouthed kiss against your skin. 

He’s been holding back for so long, wanting you for what seems like an eternity but never able to have you. But tonight he can't resist you, whatever it is that draws him to you is too strong and he cant stop himself from indulging in you. Surely you’ll hate him for this, surely all the progress he’s made will be lost, but he needs you- more than he’s ever needed anything. 

He pins you down beneath him, body caging yours against the bed, and before you can let out a noise of protest his lips are on yours. Gone is the way he normally kisses you; so soft, so sweet. 

The way he normally gently caresses and touches you is gone, replaced with this new side of him, hungry and desperate. 

It’s not that he’s rough with you- even now, he hates the idea of having to hurt you. But if you insist on making this difficult, he won't be able to hold back. But he’d much rather have you willing beneath him. Or, if not willing, then at the very least, not defiant. 

He kisses you again and again, his tongue sliding into your mouth when you try to gasp. His body presses up against yours, hips moving against yours in a desperate attempt for friction. This is what he needs- all of you. And soon enough he can wait no longer; pulling at your clothes to free your body to the night air, delighting in the sight of you finally, finally, bare to him after all this time. 

He knows he’ll hate himself tomorrow, he knows he’ll fall to his knees and beg you for forgiveness, plead for you to give him another chance. But with you beneath him like this, tomorrow seems so far away.

------------------------------

[therandompagesblog]

SKZ Pack Chapter 14

Trigger Warnings: Chan is a meanie, angst

"What do you mean she was gone from your sight, Minho!" Chan shouted. "She wasn't supposed to leave. I told her. I don't know why you're blaming me! She would have been fine on her own in the covenstead. It's not my fault she is undisciplined." Minho growled in frustration. "You're right. She is undisciplined and reckless, but you should have kept an eye on her, Min. You, of all people, should have known that, " Chan said in frustration.

They had been arguing the past twenty minutes about Y/N following the potential stalker to get a note. Y/N could have easily been jumped or kidnapped. This was so far her stupidest decision and quite frankly Chan was getting fed up with it. Even some of the wolves had commented after today. They understood her recklessness with Ateez because she had Hyunjin and Seungmin, but going solo was something Chan wouldn't tolerate. He had to discipline her, she had been here long enough. "Tell Y/N to come to my office," Chan gruffly said to Minho who nodded and walked off to find Y/N who was currently sitting with Changbin on the sofa. "Chan wants to see you in his office," Minho said as he walked past the living room to head to the cleaning cupboard. "What. Why?" Y/N asked. "Don't know," Minho answered, except he did know, but that was something for her to find out.

When Y/N got up and walked towards Chan's office her blood ran cold. It felt too eerily quiet and she didn't like it. It reminded her of going to see Hongjoong or Wooyoung when she was in trouble and she hated the feeling. It made her feel weak and alone. Right now she didn't want to even knock on the door and go in, but she had to. "Come in," Chan called. His voice was colder than normal. It was distant. Y/N entered the room to see Chan on his computer, typing away. It was almost as if he didn't see her or notice her existence, which wasn't true in the slightest. He was purposely making her feel uncomfortable. He wanted her to understand why she was being punished. "Channie, is everything okay?" Y/N asked meekly. "You tell me little wolf," Chan answered. His arms crossed as he looked at her. "I know it was stupid." Y/N sighed. "But honestly, I wanted to know what they wanted." "Is that all you have to say?" Chan asked. He was shocked at her mere apology.

Chan nodded his head, thinking for a moment before he got up to lean on his desk. His arms were crossed and his chest was puffed out. He was dominating her. Showing her who was the alpha and who wasn't. "Now listen here, Y/N. You have defied every wolf since you've been here. The first time. Fine. I can accept that. You are new to your role. The second time. Alright. The fourth and fifth? Seriously, it's ridiculous at this point, even for an omega like yourself." Chan's voice was low as he emphasised each word so it was branded in her brain. "How many times do we have to keep dealing with you being reckless? Huh? I'm fed up with it because you're not learning your lesson and I'm not punishing my wolves any longer." Chan stated. "There mine too!" Y/N whispered. "I honestly am sorry. I didn't think." "They are not your wolves. You are theirs. You're their omega. That is all. Nothing more. Nothing less. Stop acting like an alpha who can take charge because you're not good at it." Chan answered back. His eyes glancing at her submissive head. She was cowering but also defying him. "Look at me Y/N," Chan called out. " From now on you will not leave this house, until I care to let you out. You will redo your nest because I've seen to it broken. If you defy me once more, you will go downstairs." "Ok," Y/N muttered. Her eyes fixated on the piece of dirt on the floor. She felt embarrassed, humiliated. Worst of all it was him denouncing her completely and destroying her nest that she worked hard on.

When Y/N reached her bedroom her heart shattered. Her nest was gone. Her bedsheets were moved. Blankets were thrown everywhere. Items had been stolen. She felt sick. She couldn't believe he actually did that to her, so Y/N stormed out of her room to find him. "Where the fuck is Chan?" Y/N yelled, frightening Jisung and Jeongin. "He left for work. What's wrong?" Jeongin asked. "My nest. Is broken." Y/N yelled, making Jeongin look down. He had heard Chan was going to punish her but he didn't think he would take it that far. "That was Hyunjin. He broke it. Why don't me and Jisung help you fix it agai-" "Don't bother," Y/N growled as she stomped upstairs straight into Hyunjin's first. Y/N headed towards his wardrobe, pulling out his Versace clothes and ripping them apart, before starting on his bed. She ripped everything apart. Whether that was literally or metaphorically it didn't matter, she was hurt and angry. After she was satisfied she headed towards Chan's office to pull his books off the shelf and messed up his paperwork. She did anything that satisfied her anger.

Jeongin caught her and begged her to stop, stating it wouldn't help but she didn't listen. She was on a mission to relieve her emotions. Jeongin didn't know what to do except follow her pitifully. He felt sad for her. She worked hard on her nest and now it was shattered. "Baby, please don't do this. You'll make it worse." Jeongin cried out again. He wanted it to stop but the wolf growled at him. "At least let me fix your nest. Make it all better." Jeongin begged but the female wolf didn't care. "I honestly couldn't care less," Y/N growled as she shoved him out of the way. Jeongin sulked and walked away back downstairs to Seungmin who hugged the youngest wolf. He was feeling conflicted. Jeongin wanted to call Chan and tell him what he did was wrong but at the same time, it was his fault. Jeongin was the one who told Chan he wasn't happy with her risking things and now he got her punished. "Maybe you shouldn't have done that," Seungmin whispered as he held the younger wolf. "I didn't know he would destroy her nest did I?" Jeongin whined. Jeongin sat up and rubbed his eyes when he heard a bang along with a crash. "What was that?" Jeongin asked. "I think that was your room," Seungmin stated, causing Jeongin to cringe.

Felix came running down into the living room as he saw his mate's angry face going in and out of people's rooms. "What's wrong with baby?" Felix asked as he bit his nails in distress. "Chan punished her for disobedience by destroying her nest-" "HER NEST!" Felix shouted. "That's her safe place. That's something we built together." "I know Lix. I know but we can't do anything now." Jeongin stated. "We can. We can make her happy. We can fix her nest." Felix stressed. "Felix do not go up those stairs," Jeongin commanded causing the beta to whimper, he was hurting because she was hurting. "I have a feeling Chan is not going to like us if we interfere," Jeongin stated worriedly. There was nothing they could do. "Can I at least comfort her? Please." Felix whispered. Before Jeongin could even give permission the beta ran up the stairs and pulled the female wolf into his room, allowing her to growl, hiss and cry. Felix wanted her to let out all the emotions she felt so he could comfort her, but it didn't last long, because Chan came back. "Y/N GET HERE NOW!"

Taglist for the iconic readers:

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~ Taglist closed due to Tumblr only allowing a certain amount ~

[pinkaditty]

HI i love your works sm ,,, and i really love the way you write it just brings out soemtnhign in me ,,, but hear me out on leo kurosagi angst where leo keeps insulting pc and pc just took it well until he said something sensitive (maybe sth ab the way she eats? or sth abt her face etc etc) and hurt pc's feelings and he didnt feel bad when pc cried , but when he saw pc going over to sho and sho giving him dirty looks he feels remorseful but he didnt want his pride to crack so he blamed pc , and then when pc started avouding him he started mocking her but in the inside it hurt him and his pride slightly , afterwards he found out he actually has genuine feelings for pc but denies it , until he found out pc is now his bff's gf WOW i NEED him humbled 🤗🤗🤗

Pavlov's Ghoul (Leo Kurosagi x Reader x Sho Haizono; Tokyo Debunker)

hey anon this existing is UR FAULT. (ilysm ty 4 the idea) and i hope u don't mind that I added my own little twist 2 it... hehe! even if u didn't expect me 2 write anything u can't drop a fresh, juicy steak of an idea like this and expect me not 2 salivate and tear it 2 shreds via writing it out.

OMG also TYYYYYYY IM SOSO GLAD U LIKE MY WRITING YIPPEE!!!!!!!!! i hope this is up 2 ur standards anon

a/n: why does this exist? blame anon and my inner need 4 a bitchy boy 2 be humbled amen! also i feel like i've completed my tokyo debunker rite of passage... ive finally written leo angst... nirvana at last.

summary: leo gets fuckin pavloved LMAO! considered calling this "ecstasy" or something bc of the pill line but ohh my god "pavlov's ghoul" hit too hard i fear.

cw: this isn't dark imo but be warned as this is just a little bit crazy, the most insane kind of yearning ive ever written maybe. implied sexual encounters, multiple sexual innuendos, and some odd behavior. MINORS DNI AS PER USUALLLLLL!

Sho's kind, reasonably so. Leo knows this. Sho also has an infinite store of deeply repressed anger. Leo also knows this. It's the reason he's in Vagastrom, after all. A deep, roiling anger that seems to eat at him if he doesn't have an appropriate outlet to balance his mood. That's why he's such a good cook, why he's so good at fighting, why he's got an excellent sense of balance and rides his bike smoother than anyone else he knew. He's using these things as outlets for his anger. It's not Leo's fault that the occasional outing to trick and deceive another sexually repressed rich old man for money is something else Sho seems to derive stress relief from. And it's not Leo's fault that Sho continues to stick around with him after those jobs are done. It's never been a problem for either of them, as far as he can tell. At least, there were no problems until Little Miss Inspector showed up.

Suddenly, Sho didn't want to lie anymore. Suddenly, Sho wanted to go as far as to address you with the proper honorifics, ask for your help with setting up his food truck, and even generally spend time with you outside of that. And for what? Some trembling, scared, pathetic girl that knew nothing of the world of anomalies prior to her curse? Some girl doomed to "die" in less than one year, no less? He couldn't understand the kindness Sho showed you. It made no sense, nor any difference. You'd be dead soon, so what did it matter?

It's got to the point where he's begun to randomly put you down with petty insults and biting remarks. They usually consist of things like "Oh my god, even preschoolers know Anomalous Biological Basics! Come on Inspector, is your head screwed on right? Not even the Captain is this stupid." or "You remember your ability is useless when we need it, right? You'd be nothing more than a burden on missions if you can't even control this power. " or even "God, you're such a basic loser. Can't you find something else to do with your free time instead hang around Sho like a lovesick puppy? You're starting to look like that dog that's always around Kagami." and worse insults. He gets the occasional sidelong disapproving glance from Alan or even a slight furrowed brow from Sho, but it didn't matter to Leo. So long as he could slowly plant seeds of doubt in his fellow ghouls and put you down to satisfy his ego, even an odd look was negligible.

He couldn't even stand looking at you. The uniform they'd chosen for you was awful, didn't even highlight your curves. He hated the way you styled your hair, and always thought he could totally do it better. The way you seemed so relaxed around other ghouls pissed him off, why couldn't he be good company? He found you repulsive, unable to resist glaring at you from the corner of his eye whenever he could. He had to get rid of you somehow. He would never admit to feeling threatened by you; instead choosing to focus all that energy into believing you were simply throwing a wrench into his plans to live an easy, get-away-with-anything university life.

It's all come to a head today. Leo thinks he's had enough of seeing you at the food truck after hours, chatting it up with Sho. It's like he can't even catch this guy alone anymore. Before he knows it, he's made a beeline for the truck. His brand new shoes scuff on the brick path in his rush, and eventually begin to stain green on the grass, his brisk stride tearing through the verdant lawn. He tries not to let his anger show on his face, but it's evident in his posture and pace. He forcefully sidles himself into the conversation, leaning on the service counter next to you, not even waiting for you to finish speaking before he pipes up. "Wow, here again, huh? And here I thought a basic bitch like you would know her place! That mouth of yours must be good for something if he keeps a chatterbox like you around."

The chill settles into the air almost immediately despite his candid tone and relaxed, smug smile. He's so focused on your reaction that he hardly notices the look Sho gives him, twisted with displeasure and confusion. He watches as you visibly falter, your lopsided smile fading into a barely-there frown. He stares, unrepentant, laughing internally. This was the reaction he wanted.

He turns towards Sho and raises an eyebrow at his look. "What? She can take it." Sho's expression visibly wavers, and Leo fully expects him to back down, as he usually does. But instead, Sho turns to you and his face grows pale. Leo rolls his eyes, assuming Sho is totally overreacting, and turns to you. He stiffens at your visible tears. Okay, totally not what he expected, but come on. This was the insult that made you cry?

Leo notices Sho is at your side in record speed, wrapping an arm around your shoulders, and gently drawing your hunched form away, giving Leo a harsh look. Leo simply scoffs. As far as he was concerned, your reaction was pathetic. It wasn't going to stop him from having any fun.

This. Under no circumstances should this hurt. At all.

Leo had noticed you'd been avoiding him. You would slink away if he so much as entered the same room as you. You wouldn't look him in the eyes if he approached, keeping your expression impassive. Sometimes you'd just outright ignore him. It was beginning to become a bit of a nuisance. He couldn't properly mock you if you weren't there to witness it happening, or didn't give him the reaction he wanted. It was odd. When he faced these feelings head-on, it almost felt like he wanted your attention somehow, even if he didn't quite want it to feel like that. A nagging feeling told him that maybe he went too far with his latest insult. He didn't want to admit that, but something told him he did. It was in the way both you and Sho acted around him.

Sho was missing a lot of Leo's calls lately, sometimes not even bothering to call back. Leo partially understood, what with the food truck business booming and all, but he didn't appreciate being made to wait for his own best friend who's usually at his beck and call. Not to mention the flat, terse responses he would get from Sho more often than not nowadays. Leo knew Sho was miffed with him from last week's incident, but as far as Leo was concerned, things still ended in his favor. He hadn't seen you around Sho much anymore, which means he could go back to how things were. No more pesky little honor student to reign upon his days any longer! Sure, there was the biting underlying feeling that maybe he'd screwed things up, but one ride on the back of Sho's motorcycle, going wherever Leo wanted as per usual, and he was living the dream again. No way everything would change over a silly, insignificant insult.

For a short while, he begins to get bolder, openly mocking you when he does come across you. His originally surface-level remarks become rather personal, even using your eventual death as a way to tease you. From "You know, I'm surprised you haven't done anything to change up that unflattering look, considering you're dying soon. Ever considered dressing up a little? You might get some attention before you die." to "Hey, Little Miss Inspector! With the number of men you talk to around campus, I'm surprised nobody's written you off as a whore yet!", and worse, of course. He continues to get no such reaction out of you, and it frustrates him to no end. Why couldn't you just frown? Shrink away? Or even retort something just as scathing back to him? Your lack of entertainment towards his endless ridicule reduced his motivation, and slowly, it ended up dying off. Soon, he left you alone altogether, not talking to you unless necessary, mimicking your actions. In a way, some part of him hopes maybe this will be what gets your attention. Even if he can't quite admit to himself that your attention, regardless of whether it's positive or negative, is what he wants.

It's late, but Vagastrom students don't go to bed until far later. And Leo needs a favor.

His crushing lack of success in garnering any sort of attention or reaction or rise from you had driven him to a point. He didn't want to apologize to you or anything, but this new habit of you ignoring him was beginning to stoke his displeasure. In his pondering, he remembered how easily Sho captured your gaze and wondered if maybe he'd have any idea of what Leo could do to at least put an end to this stalemate.

Leo's reluctance shows in the way he drags his feet on the path to Sho's room, less than eager to confront him for his opinion on something so shamelessly trivial. Why was he wasting his time with this anyway? Surprisingly, the lack of a solid answer to that question did not stop his trek. A twinge in his chest told him he knew exactly why he was "wasting his time".

In the month it had been since he'd made you cry, the nagging feeling had only gotten harsher. His mind kept flickering back to the shock of your tears and how he'd not bothered to consider it much further. An uncomfortable guilt had made itself known starting then. He never really expected you to cry; he just wanted a mild reaction. He wanted your eyes on him, flashing with anger, just for a moment. Your ire was a saccharine pill laced with ecstasy that he'd gladly crush with his teeth to speed up his high. Maybe it'd be too much to say he got off on it, but he enjoyed the way you used to roll your eyes at any comments from him a little more than he cared to admit. Now, he wouldn't even get that. It'd be rare for you to so much as make fleeting eye contact with him, not that something as small as that would be enough for Leo. Part of him was willing to accept that maybe, he'd gone too far. Maybe. But how else was he supposed to monopolize your attention when you give that out so freely? To his best friend, even?

He didn't know it was possible to covet something so terribly. He found himself wondering why he couldn't catch your attention in the same way as the other ghouls? In his quest for the same attention you gave so freely to the kinder, softer ghouls, he found another version of your attention. It was negative, but it was attention nonetheless. Your sweet, honeyed rage seemed to fill his cravings and then some, so he continued to devour it under the guise of "chasing you away" or "putting you down" or "satisfying his ego". In truth, for whatever reason, there was a rather bothersome and persistent envious longing, a covet, for your attention. Leo wants to vomit. A part of him denies it still, pushing his needless feelings to the back of his brain. He had something to do, and he ought to focus on that. What good would mere wallowing do?

He makes it to Sho's room and almost considers turning back. He stares at the door, his expression morphing into a complicated look. He shifted his feet, his slippers sliding against the floor. It was quite clear he really did not want to do this. At all. He sighs and grumbles indignantly, putting his head in his hands in an attempt to gather some courage. This couldn't be that hard, right? Just in, ask Sho a question, get an answer, then out. The only reason this was easier said than done was just because it could potentially show Leo was capable of feeling remorse, which would make this conversation leagues harder than it needed to be. He shakes his head and straightens up, preparing to knock, when he notices something.

Sho's room was... unusually quiet. Usually, Leo almost always heard some loud music or a cooking show running in the background, but he couldn't hear anything this time. Sho couldn't possibly be asleep. As late as it was, the only person who Leo knew for a fact could stay up past him was Sho, regardless of how much sleep he had gotten. There was no chance Sho was asleep. Believe it or not, Leo doesn't like to spy on Sho. But curiosity overwhelms him. What could he possibly be doing that would render the whole room in silence?

"Haxs," he whispers, listening closely.

The first thing he hears is the cling-clanging of Alan hard at work on a car in the garage. Not the sound he was meant to be focusing on. Then he hears endless jeering and loud insults shouted, though they're all muffled like they're underground. Another pit fight? Still, not the sound he's looking for. He sifts through the sounds he hears before he settles on the one coming directly from Sho's room.

Voices. Groaning, strained voices. The sound of wet skin against wet skin. Panting. Sho's panting, specifically. He could tell by the slight nasally tone of it.

Leo felt his face gradually warm. Christ, of course it'd be this he'd be up to. Leo muffles a laugh into the collar of his pajamas, keeping his hand clamped over his mouth as his body shook with mirth. When he finally calms down, he slinks off to the corner down the hall, and hides himself there, shamelessly still listening to it. Sho's a sly dog. Leo certainly didn't expect him to be getting up to anything this soon. He leans his body against the wall, crossing his arms and drumming his fingers on his arm, waiting for Sho to finish. He smirks to himself, as though enjoying the vocal show.

...

He had to admit, whoever he was with had gorgeous moans. He'd have to ask Sho if he'd be willing to pass this girl's number. He could use a couple things to get his mind off of you.

...

Okay, he had to stop listening to this now. He lifts his stigma and holds his hands over his ears for good measure, partially trying to hide the furious red blush across his face. As pretty as that girl's moans were, he was not going to listen to his best friend's climax. No thanks. He huffs out an impatient breath as his cheeks cool down, leaning his back against the wall, leaning his head back until it hit the wall with a dull thump. Now he just had to wait it out. He knew damn well Sho would never let a girl stay over. He'd never hear the end of it from yours truly, Leo.

Leo's right. It isn't long before he hears the door to Sho's room click, and hears murmured voices travel down the hall. He smirks, rushing down the hall in the opposite way, so it doesn't look like he was listening the whole time. He listens, waiting for a cue of some sort.

"Shame you have to go, you know." Sho's voice. Laced with relief, pleasure, and a thick tiredness. Leo's skin crawled. He could practically feel the smile in Sho's voice.

"It's not so bad." The girl responded with a light and playful tone, her voice seemingly much more put together than Sho's despite all that moaning. The voice sounded oddly familiar, but Leo brushed it off. Must be someone he shares classes with. "I've got things to do anyway. But it was nice to spend some time with you, Sho." Eagh. Leo internally hopes this girl isn't the type to get easily attached.

"...Yeah. Same to you. Goodnight."

"Goodnight."

Finally, he heard the girl's footsteps trailing down the hall, heading in his direction. Leo hurriedly pulls his phone out of his pocket, making sure the screen was bright as he flipped through the latest trends. He made a point of not looking up until he heard the footsteps nearing him.

He looks up, prepared for a simple glance, but ends up being rooted to the spot.

It was you. Of course, it was you. Who else would be taunting enough?

Despite himself, his gaze remains glued to you, his head turning as you walk past him. For a moment, Leo thinks you're just going to ignore him again. Then, suddenly, your gaze meets his in a flash, and he stiffens, almost out of fear. The way your eyebrows crease and the way your lips twitch downward almost makes him salivate. You were clearly displeased to see him. Even so, he notices you don't slow down, continuing your way down the hall, not bothering to crane your neck to look at him.

Leo remains rooted to the spot, watching your figure as you leave. His jaw hangs open slightly, his chest heaving with shocked breaths. His eyes are wide open, pools of gold reflecting your retreating form. His hand trembles as he holds his phone, the latest trends left neglected in the wake of a single mean-spirited glance from you. He feels his heart pound mercilessly in his chest, as though confirming what he'd tried so desperately to deny.

All at once, anger and arousal seem to grip him simultaneously. Anger at himself for feeling arousal from a mere negative glance from you. He couldn't possibly have craved your attention so viscerally he'd happily accept mere scraps. And yet here he was, a lap dog, watching you as you leave as though silently begging for another glance, another chance to watch your eyes burn with that familiar, delicious anger, another meal to satisfy his starved heart.

For a moment, he would have gladly followed you, and pestered you to death, just to irk you and become a willing victim of your wrath. Anything... just for that attention.

a/n: wow. no stop why am i kind of in shock at the poetic lines i kinda think i did a great job! but 4 whatever reason it's always the writing i think was total shit that does actual numbers *sob*

aghhhh in any case. no i don't have an excuse 4 this. my requests are still technically closed. i just... couldn't help myself... so consider this a freebie. regardless though if u like my writing feel free 2 fill the fuck out of my inbox idnc i love hearing from y'all.

also TUMBLR KEEPS TURNING OFF MY REBLOGS!!!! GRAH!!!!!! tumblr hates me y'all they keep catching on2 me 4 writing porn :( so please if u really wanna show appreciation and tumblr won't let u reblog, leave a comment! those make me happy :)

anyways. usual note that i adore likes, comments, and tagged reblogs!! please tell me how much you like my writing, i love to hear it and it keeps me going! until next timeeeeeeee!

EDIT: I FORGOTTT QUICK EXPLAINATION: im assuming everyone knows pavlov's dog and the whole classical conditioning theory. this story is basically that mixed with the mere-exposure effect.

neutral stimulus: mc's presence

natural response: leo's arousal/excitement

response-producing stimulus: mc's anger

mere-exposure effect: psychological effect in which a like or dislike of things is developed merely due 2 familiarity.

[doshi-sukiru]

Hi!

I’m so interested in your Shattered Glass MegOP tfone AU! I wanted to ask since you mentioned that Optimus banished Megatron after their fight out of anger.

Then you also mentioned that Optimus thinks Megatron is a prisoner of war and is trying to get him back.

At what point did he go from “he betrayed me” to “oh my primus he’s clearly been kidnapped”? Especially since I assume Megatron and the High Guard willingly left for the surface the same as in the movie. Like did he immediately change his mind after Megatron left or like was there a brief moment where he had to think about it?

Sorry sksksk I’m just so invested hahaha

LMAO no worries you're good

So when Megatron first came back, Optimus believed it was D-16 in a new frame. He began to hug him and talk to him and act like how he used to, but Megatron could see how Optimus tore apart Sentinel behind him, and could see other mechs destroying Iacon and causing destruction. Megatron tried to pull away from Optimus and get him to realize that what he's doing is worse than good.

I mentioned before as well that D-16 was against killing Sentinel in cold blood, which annoyed Orion before, and seeing Megatron act like this still after coming back only angered Optimus.

Megatron tried to suggest that instead they should first find a way to bring back energon to the people, and let the high guard return to their positions to get more servos to help fight against the Quintessons, and because the high guard were good mechs.

Unfortunately, telling an angry Optimus that while having Starscream behind you, who Optimus tried to kill before, doesn't make the situation any better.

Optimus didn't think that Megatron was speaking his mind, or was trying to help Optimus, and immediately jumped into thinking that Starscream had taken his D-16 and persuaded him to go against Optimus. So, naturally, he lunged at Starscream in anger, but Megatron got in the way, and the two fought- with Optimus trying to throw Megatron to the side and hit Starscream, and Megatron trying to calm him down.

When they finally returned to the pit entrance, most of the high guard were there, and stood behind Megatron to protect him if Optimus tried to fight again. In that moment, Optimus's anger was so pent up he immediately yelled at Megatron and the high guard to be banished once again to the surface. He wasn't thinking about much else other than the fact that if Megatron wouldn't stand by his choices, he didn't deserve to be in Iacon either.

Megatron didn't go willingly at first, and tried to demand Optimus listen to him, but Soundwave stopped him, warning him that any more talk with Optimus would be useless with how angry the prime was, and when Megatron looked at Optimus he realized he was right. So he left with the high guard.

It took Optimus about a few hours before he cooled down and realized what he did, and felt crushed knowing he did something so terrible. But, Optimus has never accepted such faults before, and immediately began to try to divert the blame from him to someone or something else.

That's when he got that special idea- Starscream must have corrupted D-16's mind and had the the high guard force him to leave with them, because why would D-16 leave Optimus? The two were best buddies, almost conjunxes! It couldn't have been a choice he'd make willingly, because D-16 never acted out of line, he always did as told and followed Optimus no matter what!

So that was what spawned the idea that his beloved was a hostage, and not an equal with them.

thank you! again, any other ask you have you can give, I'll answer them as best as I can until friday!

[emberunderscore]

guys im going crazy with the edits over here (im sure this has been done with this song before but idc i wanted to)

also guys im going to include the rambling in the actual edit post this time because i actually cannot contain myself . (i went on and on for this one i had a lot of thoughts )

OK BIG ONE COOL ONE WHEN IT SAYS "I'm a worthless human being" there is an overlay during the word "worthless" of the prison scene and the word worthless is layed over sherbert's forehead, think of it like the word worthless and failure going hand in hand because icarus doesn't belive they are worth anything if they are not useful and they cannot be useful if theyre a failure which they wholeheartedly believe they are THATS IT THATS MY FAVORITE PART OF THIS EDIT (not really but shshshshs)

ok back to being in order

"I had left you" and "I forgave you" being right next to each other is SO PERFECT because that part is referencing the cave obviously and immediately after centross dies icarus is like 'get the fuck away from me why did you do that, holy shit you were gonna kill me' and then he tells them he can bring centross back and they immediately forgive him (and its not rlly great editing wise cause obviously theres not much contrast between the clips but the sacrifices we make are very small)

"I forgot you" this line is kinda hard to understand how ive coded it cause centross is on the screen so it kinda makes it seems like im saying they forgot centross but NO! they forgot about fable, they were so focused on bringing centross back that they completely lost sight of fable and his actions and how that hurt everyone around them

then the "said you loved me" I LOVE PUTTING VOICELINES IN EDITS CHAT. I LOVE IT SO MUCH AHHHH. i love when the words and they go together and theyre similar and i go crazy . im knawing at the bars of my enclosure

(i was going to put a voicline of fable's 'you will not survive' from cathedral of war in this part, but only chose not too cause it made the audio too chaotic but its still the clip from when he said that so just KNOW) i really love the "said you'd kill me" part. it just looks really cool to me, please appreciate my work thank you goodnight <3

THE WHOLE NEXT PART. THE BEAT DROP IF YOU WILL.

the text is all shaky, the way ive always imagined this part of the song in my brain is like full mental breakdown, hands pulling at hair hitting at your head . theres something inside of you and you want it OUT and you will hurt yourself to makes that happen . so thats kind of the vibe i wanted to portray, however . im not that skilled and capcut only has so many free text effects so . we make do. i also couldn't put that effect on all the text because for it to look right i couldn't use an 'in' animation for the text so having all of it just appear looked kind of weird so i had to comprimise a little

also the font is called "honest" which . if you know me i love putting subliminal messaging in my font usage when i can which i managed to do a couple times in this edit actually. the font is very jagged which fits for the idea of someone who's reaching their breaking point and all the rotation and bold and italics are all just thrown around there. making em all look interesting . for *flavour*

the other font that's got a cool title and this one i actually only picked because of the title and that's "innocent" its used in a lot of frames like "you possessed me", "you controlled me" and "or he'll hurt me" all times, the word 'me' uses the innocent font, because with the song it sounds like icarus is trying to remove any of the blame from themself, it was fable's fault because he manipulated me i didn't do anything wrong. so they see themself as 'innocent' which is also why that text is yellow cause its about icarus. i wouldn't have used that font if not for the title icl. but it also makes the times when that font isn't used all the more interesting, this can be seen most notably in "said you'd kill me", and both of the times in the "he's still speaking, speaking for me" parts , and i will let you cook on that cause not everything needs to be explained in great detail as much as id like to do that

most of the fonts at this one were just me throwing shit at a wall and seeing what fit the vibe ill be so fr, i knew i wanted a lot of variation cause its a chaotic sounding song and the colours also have very little thought when it comes to the difference between white/yellow/red for the most part . green is for fable and purple is just whatever the fuck i felt like .

final thing i'm going to say when it goes "i'm a [worthless human being" there is no text on that part and i just want it to be known on the record that it wasn't an accident and it was an aethetic choice and i can't come up with a bullshit important reason for why there's no text on the screen for that SINGLE PART and honestly it just looked so shit with text there but it also looks so out of place with it being the only part but im sure many of you didn't even notice there wasnt text there before i pointed it out so . i can also point out all the slightly off timings for you if you wanna see my creation through my critical self-loathing eyes /silly

[cherryssodapop]

you do know that Billy is racist right...

*sighhhhhhhh* Alright, here we go…

Typically I don’t like getting into this argument because you’re not supposed to argue with a POC about what’s racist and what isn’t (I don’t actually know if you are poc or not this is a general statement I’m making), I know I don’t because it just doesn’t feel right, but here’s the thing.

When it comes to this character the one line he said that everyone’s going crazy for I’m going to have to disagree here because it’s just 1. too vague of a statement, of course you could argue that Billy talking about Lucas’ skin colour is implied in his statement and I agree, but not for the reasons you think.

And 2. there’s a reason Dacre changed this scene with the duffers regarding Billy’s potential racism because you’re creating a character who’s an antagonist who originally had no reason to be bad (until Dacre suggested the scene with his father) and then you wanna add racism into the mix? if the duffers really wanted to bring up the issue of racism during the 80s especially in small secluded areas like Hawkins, I’m pretty sure it would’ve been an actual subplot, but no they just wanted to use it as an additional reason to make Billy’s character initially unlikeable and it was so poorly written into the script and also Dacre was just straight up uncomfortable acting out that whole sequence so we can safely say the concept of Billy being a racist is scrapped from canon all together. I’m explaining this from the perspective of a film student because you can’t write an antagonist without a plausible reason and motive to be bad, so Dacre humanizing him and giving him that back story and lore is exactly what you do when it comes to character work, especially for antagonists like Billy (unless you wanna make the villain a basic villain with a basic story arc who’s sole purpose is to get in the hero’s way and die trying but in this case Billy never did that. He never really got into anyone’s way besides at the end of season 2 but it’s because he had no idea what’s going on and in HIS mind he thinks he’s saving Max from a fucked up situation. And im not even going to start with season 3 because we all know; bro was possessed, he wasn’t himself, Vecna was acting out entirely through him Billy had no say in any of it. In fact he even showed remorse and shame during the little time Vecna let him be in control of himself before abruptly taking over.) Also, yes you can be from an educated and woke society (California is a blue state and the equal opportunities act in the states already passed and Billy leaves for hawkins in fall 1984 so it’s already well established in society at that time that being racist is not acceptable) and still be a bigot, but I really just don’t believe this is the case for Billy.

What I think the issue here is his father, now hear me out, hear me out.

In the book “Runaway Max” it is brought up that Neil is a huge supporter of Reagen who at the time was a republican and attempted to abolish the equal opportunities act bill but ultimately failed of course. Max even says it herself that Neil is racist and a white supremacist. What does that tell you? His father is the whole problem. Because we all know that Billy gets beaten and blamed for everything that happens whether it’s Max’s fault or his Neil will take any excuse to physically hurt Billy. And being how Neil is so adamant on Billy watching over Max and being in charge of her, what would happen if Neil caught Max with Lucas who is black and we know Neil’s views on that demographic of people? What do you think would happen?

Of course, we could also bring up that if Billy was racist it would be a learned behaviour from his father. Though, to be honest, considering how much Billy tries to rebel against his father, I think it’s safe to say that would include Neil’s morals and beliefs, so I highly doubt it.

Going back to my first point, I think Billy did say that about Lucas not because he hates Lucas but because his father would and would take out that well known hatred out on Billy. It was more of a warning for both of their safety because of how insane Neil is. That’s why I think Billy said that and acted that way in terms of their friendship because he doesn’t want to deal with the consequences of his father’s wrath.

We can also see this in season 3, when Billy is working full time, starting to take control of his life (likely saving up money so he could leave and move back to California) he doesn’t even care about what Max is doing let alone dating Lucas, he’s too busy trying to get his life together.

So no, I don’t think Billy is a racist and I’ve listed all of my reasons why from a canonical standpoint using evidence from the story, plus my own analysis on his character as an actor myself.

Now from a shifter’s standpoint; I really don’t wanna hear y’all judge my choice of S/O considering some of y’all shift for active psychopaths and murderers meanwhile I’m shifting for a dude who’s been deeply traumatized and wants to live his life in peace and find true love.

To conclude; this is entirely my opinion and my belief on the topic. If you believe the opposite you’re fully entitled to, no one’s gonna attack you or try to convince you otherwise. But the thing is with people like myself who like Billy’s character and indulge in his lore and fanfiction we’re constantly getting criticized and harassed and even as far as labeled as bad people just because we view him from a different perspective. I believe it’s time we all grow up and respect each other’s opinions because not everyone agrees with everyone and that’s the way of the world. freedom of thought freedom of speech.

(goddamn this was a long rant but i had to say my peace)

[angelasscribbles]

What Could Have Been: A Bad Romance One-Shot

Series: What If but more specifically Maximum Damage (the alternate ending)

Original Series: Bad Romance

Fandom: The Royal Romance/The Royal Heir

Pairing for this chapter: Liam x Max (now), Liam x Riley (past), Riley x Max (past)

Rating: MA

Warnings for this chapter: character death mentioned.

Word Count:  812

A/N: This was written in response to an ask from @kyra75 for the angstgiving event hosted by @choicesprompts. The request was for the prompt "What could have been" and was specifically for the Bad Romance gang. Since BR had a happily ever after, I couldn't come up with a good, angsty what could have been until the alternate ending popped into my head. Once it did, this just suddenly existed in my head and I had to write it.

My other stuff: Master List.

The crown princess of Cordonia was getting married to the love of her life. It was a watershed moment in her life. All of Cordonia would be watching as she walked down the aisle.

The king was sure that there had never been a prouder father in the history of the world. His little princess was all grown up. She was happy. She was radiant. She looked just like her mother.

He turned his head to observe his queen. The years hadn’t dimmed her beauty one bit. She was as beautiful as the day he’d first lain eyes on her in that bar in New York.

Liam had been born into wealth, and raised to rule, but the greatest privilege of his life had been raising their daughter. It didn’t matter that biologically speaking; she was Drake’s daughter. Her DNA didn’t matter.

Drake. The best friend he’d ever had. His childhood companion. His partner in crime. His closest confidant. His brother.

“Don’t get too sentimental. You promised her you wouldn’t cry.” Drake smiled at him from the seat on the other side of Riley.

“How can I help it?” Liam responded as tears slipped down his cheek. “You’re here. You’re both here for her big day.”

“Liam.” Max’s voice intruded on the scene.

Not yet, Max. Just a few more moments.

Riley leaned over and touched his hand. “She’s so lucky to have you. You’ve done a wonderful job. You and Max both. Thank you.”

“Liam. Liam.”

Not yet, Max!

But it was too late. They were already fading.

“Wait! Don’t go!”

“Liam, come on, it’s time to get up.” Max shook him gently by the shoulders. “We don’t want to be late for the wedding.”

Liam blinked against the onslaught of brightness flooding into the royal suite. “Max?”

“Yeah, who else would it be? Are you okay? You were crying in your sleep.”

“I was dreaming, but Max, it seemed so real! I was at the wedding, and Riley was with me! Drake too!”

“Oh, babe.” Max climbed back into the bed and wrapped Liam in his arms and tears sprang into his own eyes. “I miss them too.”

Twenty six years later and he still blamed himself. If only he hadn’t dropped the damn cell phone that day. If only he’d pulled over to the side of the road before trying to call 911. If he’d done that, then Riley and Drake would both still be here. Hope would have her biological parents. Liam would have his queen. He would have his everything.

But that’s not what happened and now all they could do was dream about what could have been.

Liam looked up into his husband’s eyes. “It wasn’t your fault. It was a tragic accident.”

Max smiled through his tears. Of course Liam knew exactly what he was thinking. Liam was the only reason he was alive. Liam had willed him to live and pushed him to walk again.

Getting out of that wheelchair had been the hardest thing he’d ever done. Not because of the grueling months of physical therapy, but because he had felt like he deserved to be there. He would never understand why he had Liam’s love and forgiveness when he knew he didn’t deserve it, but he was grateful for it. And he was grateful for the daughter they shared. The one whose heart stopping smile was the spitting image of the woman they had both lost.

“I know,” Max lied. Today was a happy day, not a day to wallow in recriminations. “We both promised Hope that we wouldn’t cry today.”

Liam laughed, a bit of sunshine returning to his life. Max had a way of doing that. “We all knew that was a lie when we said it.”

“Oh, a bald faced lie! She’s our baby girl. Of fucking course we’re going to cry!”

Liam laughed again as the last vestiges of the dream wisped away.

Riley and Drake would be there in spirit. Hope had left two reserved seats empty to represent them.

Hope was what they had left of their lost loved ones. And she had brought exactly that into their lives. Hope was what they had clung to in those early days of grief. She had brought sunshine and joy, laughter, and beauty back into the world.

Drake had certainly named her appropriately all those years ago.

Four hours later, they watched her say I do. They both cried copious amounts, but they were happy tears.

And while they both wished that Riley and Drake were there with them, they were thankful to have each other.

The king glanced at the two empty seats. He swore he could feel them there. Maybe, somehow, in some other existence, they were.

Deep in his heart, Liam believed that somewhere out there, in an alternate universe, what could have been, was.

[sk1nnywh0re-4]

i love getting called angel 🤭 except by my mom.

she always says "you were like an angel, so innocent" yes mother, i was 4. it was easier for you to manipulate me.

remember when you'd beat me up everyday for absolutely no reason?

when you left me outside the house while you and your husband stayed inside with my brothers? when my brothers do anything remotely inconvenient, it's always my fault.

when you verbally ask me why you raised me? i didn’t choose to be born mother. if i could, i'd choose to never live.

you chose the worst man to marry and have children with. he hated you. he wanted to kill you. yet you love him?

you got me involved in your toxic marriage then proceeded to blame me for being affected by it. i was 7.

when i asked why you abused me and you said God would pity you because He "knew you were innocent at some point"? i was a child.

i was innocent until you corrupted me.

you sat by and watched as your husband beat me up when i cried in agony on the floor.

and now you tell me to please him with what he wants to hear so he's give you his card. you want the money.

you somehow seem to be able to make everything about you and your misery when you also flaunt having a perfect childhood. your "perfect german childhood."

you saw nothing compared to what ive seen as a child.

oh how glad i am that my brothers never had experience what i did.

remember mother, when you'd self-harm right before my 9 year old eyes? remember when your beloved husband did so? when you'd be openly suicidal. you'd constantly threaten to abandon us with your sweet abusive husband.

yet you now say "its all in the past! just move on already!" like you never needed help. as if you're stable now. you don’t know my thoughts. thank God you don’t.

your husband. he ruined my childhood. he does not care the slightest about me. he never did. he takes pride in nothing and no one but himself. atleast he cares a little about my brothers.

my relationship. you took my happiness away. he was the only good thing to happen to me. i love him. he understood me when no one else did. now i have no one.

it was always "your life isn’t as half as bad as someone else’s" to excuse everything you've done that you know is unacceptable.

how you always compare me to your dead mother-in-law who you sure are glad is dead and according to you "burning in hell"

anything i say, you accuse me of wanting to purposely stir up drama. if i don’t say much, you mock me.

you always mock me. your family mocks me. your husband mocks me. his family mocks me. you think i don’t know but i've heard you.

the things you and your husband have done for the sake of having a good reputation. God knows.

now that i'm older, you know you can't do as you wish easily but you haven’t changed have you?

i'll do everything i possibly can to be nothing like you. i don’t want to be one to hurt people because of the poor decisions that i made and the misery that i bought upon myself.

anyways, thank you for my wonderful childhood mother. i love you.

God knows. i'm just waiting for Him to take me away.

[scoobydoodean]

And yes this is connected to my post yesterday about poor little meow meows. I think this lends to the deangirl/casgirl divide where it crops up. I wonder if for some casgirls, Dean's lack of earnest attempts to "make up" for his mistakes by trying to get his friends/family to see him as "worthy" of forgiveness after a mistake comes off as unfeeling. I see Dean feel he's made a mistake and withdrawal (sometimes with a verbal expression of regret, sometimes not) and I understand his withdrawal as deep-seated despair. He can never "make up" for anything so he doesn't try to do that—he just accepts consequences and doesn't usually fight them. He also doesn't usually bother to separate out what he is and isn't sorry for because he blames himself for what was actually his fault and what wasn't his fault and that probably looks like an emotional disconnect for some people.

In contrast, I think for deangirls like me, Cas's persistent belief that he can fix any mistake he's made—while very earnest and typically endearing—can come across as a refusal to fully understand that actions have consequences. It can come off as a refusal to genuinely accept responsibility for your decisions. If you believe you can always fix any mistake you make, you can develop a moral hazard problem. You begin to see relationships as transactional situations where you can "pay" to do the thing you knew in advance you shouldn't do, believing you can always just absolve yourself afterwards by paying some kind of "making up" tax. This also can ultimately look unfeeling and like an emotional disconnect.

Dean and Cas are very similar in that they both deal with significant self-worth issues, were treated as weapons for a lot of their lives and were raised like soldiers, and had their worth routinely tied to their ability to kill and defend their families. But their responses to making a mistake are so... very very different most of the time?

Cas fucks up and immediately begins looking for ways to prove himself again and get anyone he's let down to see that he cares about them and he can fix it. His belief that he can make things right is incredibly persistent and can even feel a little overbearing on occasion? Dean fucks up and despairs. He sees his mistakes as a death sentence—as something that completely condemns him. He makes a mistake and believes he can never atone and has no way of making it better. In the worst case, he thinks the best favor he could do the world around him is dying to rid the world of the stain of him. He's too accepting of being doomed by consequences. I think this makes Cas a really important foil for Dean and also probably lends to Dean's attraction to him.

Cas is the guy who tilts his head and says "You don't think you deserve to be saved?" Not just because he thinks Dean is a good person to the very core but because Cas believes you can fix anything, and as much as I think this difference creates conflict between the two of them on occasion, I also think that's an important and inspiring trait in a friend for someone with Dean's hangups.

[wowbright]

Fic: I’ll Always Belong to You

Klaine Valentine’s Challenge 2023: “Time of My Life” from Dirty Dancing (Day 14 prompt)

Words: ~2400 words

Rating: Teen and Up

Summary: Kurt loves his birthday present from Blaine.

I’m back with more vignettes from my Mormon!Klaine universe for Klaine Valentines 2023! This vignette takes place in the post-mission-conference arc, between dinner with the lesbians and Blaine coming out to Kurt. I’ve decided Lead, Kindly Light takes place on Kurt’s birthday, so it’s directly after/the evening of that fic.

My Mormon!Klaine Masterpost. (Klaine Valentines 2023 posts are bold and italicized.)

Notes:

Thanks to @redheadgleek, @flower29power, and @gaazhagens for Sound of Music help

Play list of a few German Sound of Music songs/scenes

German movie lyrics to Do-Re-Mi

PDF lyrics to “Ich bleibe dein immerzu” (German movie version of “Something Good”)

Other links are in the text

Other notes in tags

--------

“Have you enjoyed your birthday so far?” Blaine asked as they entered the apartment.

“Are you kidding? I’ve had the time of my life!” Kurt set his bag down on the floor and bounded over to the loveseat, flopping onto it with complete abandon, his arms draped over one end, his feet dangling off the other. “Allgäu, cows, the investigators cancelling their appointment—”

“You're really not disappointed about that at all, are you?” Blaine asked as he took off his shoes. He wasn't disappointed that Kurt wasn't disappointed; actually, it rather pleased him. Through most of their companionship, Kurt had been such a workaholic and an absolute stickler for the rules. But tonight, instead of insisting that they knock on doors to make up for some high schoolers canceling on them, he let Blaine treat him to dinner before watching the sunset on the Danube. It had felt, at least to Blaine, almost like a date.

“Nope,” Kurt said. “They just want to research us for their religion class, anyway. And if they did want to join the church, they’re too young to do that without parental approval. How many Bavarian parents are going to be like, ‘Sure, kid, screw the Catholic Church. Go join the Mormons’?”

“How many Bavarian parents actually care that much about the Catholic Church?” He lifted Kurt’s legs like a tollgate to join his companion on the couch, then lowered them across his lap once he was seated.

“Just enough to distrust everything else,” Kurt said without acrimony. He sighed and stretched his arms above his head, wiggling his torso like he was trying to get some kink out of his muscles. “But I suppose it is unusual for me not to feel dejected about a cancellation. Guess I'm officially getting trunky.”

Blaine felt his heart sink in his chest. He hated being reminded that Kurt was leaving soon. All day, he'd managed to pretend that it was never going to happen. Allgäu and the Donau had been paradise, but now Kurt was kicking them out. “You still have a month to go," Blaine said. “Can't afford to be trunky yet.”

Kurt poked Blaine’s thigh with his toe. “I've been such a perfect missionary for twenty-three straight months. All I need to do now is endure to the end. That's what the scriptures say, isn't it? ‘Endure to the end,’ not ‘excel to the end.’”

Blaine chuckled. “That is indeed what they say.”

“I'll do my best not to turn lazy for your sake, though,” Kurt added seriously.

“You don't have to worry about that,” Blaine said. “It's a little known fact, but I actually like spending time with you, whether we're proselytizing or not.” He looked into Kurt's eyes, and Kurt looked into his, studying his face, as if looking for the meaning between the words.

Blaine wanted so desperately for Kurt to find it. Because there was no way Blaine was going to say it out loud. Not when he was so unsure how Kurt would respond. And not on Kurt’s birthday, when everything had been so lovely and perfect and magical. Blaine couldn't risk breaking something so beautiful.

“Your birthday isn't over,” Blaine said. “I didn't manage to secretly bake you a multitiered lemon cake, but I do have something else for you.”

“Oh?” Kurt perked up, clearly curious. “Allgäu, dinner—you don’t think I’ve been spoiled enough?”

“Of course not. Your birthday’s not over yet, is it?” Blaine scooted out from under Kurt’s legs and went into the bedroom to fish his suitcase out from under his bed.

“So that’s where you hide the presents.” Kurt was standing in the doorway, watching Blaine, making absolutely no effort to hide his eagerness to find out what Blaine had in his suitcase. It was adorable.

“That's where I hid this one,” Blaine said, retrieving a small package wrapped in a scenic photo of Kyoto from a magazine in Dani’s recycling pile. It had made Blaine think of Kurt because they’d joked once about going to Japan to visit the train station where a cat was in charge—only Blaine hadn't exactly been joking. He’d meant it. He wanted to meet that cat and, wherever he went, he wanted Kurt to be with him.

Kurt probably didn't even remember that conversation. But that was okay. The photo was beautiful in its own right.

“Oh!” Kurt squealed when Blaine handed the package to him. “I love getting presents.” He dropped onto his bed and examined the square. It was probably obvious to him from the shape that a CD was inside, but he acted like it was the most mysterious object he’d ever held. “Hey! That’s Japan! Is this the place with the cat train conductor that we’re going to visit when you’re done with your mission and I’ve saved anough money to take a jaunt through Asia?”

“That’s Kyoto,” Blaine said, his heart on the verge of exploding. “The cat is in Wakayama. But they’re not too far apart. Maybe a hundred miles? We could definitely visit both of them.”

“How do you know so much about Japan?”

Blaine shrugged. “There might have been a map in that same magazine I pulled the picture from.”

Kurt clucked his tongue. “Elder Anderson, reading unapproved materials. I might have to talk to the mission president about this,” he said in a tone that meant he definitely was not going to talk to the mission president about it.

God help me, Blaine thought. Kurt was so sexy when he feigned disapproval.

Blaine dropped down next to him, the mattress bouncing from the new weight. “So are you going to open it or not? The suspense is killing me.”

“Whose birthday is it?” Kurt said with a smirk. But he did unwrap it. “Meine Lieder, meine Träume,” he read as he revealed the top of the CD cover. “Wait. Is this … Oh my gosh! It is!” Kurt flung his arms around Blaine and hugged the breath out of him.

It was the German soundtrack to The Sound of Music. Blaine had found it in a music store in Munich during the mission conference, and it had immediately struck him as the perfect gift for his companion.

“Is it because this is the musical of my namesake, Kurt von Trapp?” Kurt asked, squeezing Blaine’s arm.

Blaine giggled. He couldn't help it. Kurt was so delightful. Blaine must have sounded like a hopelessly besotted schoolboy. “Partly. But also because I think I've heard you sing almost every single song from the soundtrack in the shower at some point.”

“Of course I have! Because it’s the best musical on earth! It’s got romance, found family, and a half-hour public service announcement against Nazis!” Kurt excitedly opened the liner notes. “And it has a lyrics insert!”

Kurt was a force of nature. He grabbed Blaine's hand and pulled him into the living room. It wasn't long before the CD player was removed from its hiding place and plugged into the wall, and Kurt and Blaine were on the loveseat with the liner notes between them, learning the German lyrics to “The Sound of Music”: Along the valleys sounds the song of mountains, the most beautiful song far from our time.

Of course, they didn’t stay on the loveseat for long. One cannot easily sing with gusto while sitting down (the downstairs apartment was empty, and the living room wall faced outside, so they didn't have to worry about disturbing the neighbors unless they got really loud), and dancing is made easier by standing. They pondered how to confront the problem of Maria, recited their favorite things, and learned entirely new mnemonics for the do-re-mi scale (do was not doe, a female deer, but the first syllable in the name of the Donau River; ray was not a drop of golden sun, but Reh, a hoofed herbivore that lived in high-altitude forests; and ti wasn’t ti at all, but si—what passes in Rome for “yes”).

They sang sometimes, and danced sometimes, and occasionally engaged in friendly arguments about the meaning of the lyrics and whether they were good translations.

Blaine collapsed on the loveseat when the Ländler began. He loved this part of the movie, when little Kurt von Trapp asks Maria to teach him the waltz-like dance and Captain von Trapp steps in to demonstrate. It's the first moment the audience knows for sure that the Captain and Maria are falling in love.

“What do you think you’re doing?” Kurt asked, his eyebrows quirked in challenge.

“Sitting down?”

“For the Ländler? You can’t sit for the Ländler. It has the name of an actual dance in its title.”

"But I don't know the steps," Blaine said.

“But I do,” said Kurt, bowing slightly and holding out one hand. “Elder Anderson, will you do me the honor of this dance?”

“Well, if you put it that way, Elder Hummel.” Blaine felt giddy. He wasn’t a Disney prince—Kurt was. Blaine was Arielle, woozy with infatuation. Still, he managed to stand and return the bow, then slot his hand into Kurt’s.

Kurt rested his free hand on Blaine’s waist and guided him through the dance. Two hops and a turn. Two hops and a turn. Kurt was right. It wasn't that hard—or, rather, Kurt made it easy. He was an expert lead, guiding with gestures and subtle movements, never forcing Blaine’s body into an unexpected pose. Their bodies returned naturally to each other after every separation. And though the space they were in was tiny, Kurt somehow made it feel huge, like they had the entire world under their feet and could dance wherever their hearts led them.

Blaine fell into the dance like he was falling into Kurt, every minute of every day.

The Ländler ended, but they continued dancing in the silence between songs, through the silliness of “So Long, Farewell” and the joy of “Climb Every Mountain,” and Blaine was so caught up in the music and the lyrics and the feeling of being held in Kurt’s arms that he completely forgot what was coming next until it did—the languid love song where Captain von Trapp and Maria finally admit their feelings to each other.

Nun stehst du hier und du sagst „Liebe mich,“ was ich so gerne tu, So nimm mich und mach du uns glücklich, ich bleibe dein immerzu

(Now you stand here and say, "Love me," which I so gladly do, So take me and make us happy, I'll always belong to you)

Kurt slowed, but didn’t stop or let Blaine go. His eyes were on Blaine’s, clear and fearless. It was like being serenaded. It was like being loved.

Blaine inched slowly closer, testing the waters, waiting for Kurt to stop him. But Kurt didn’t. And now Blaine’s cheek was on Kurt's shoulder and both of Kurt’s arms were around his waist, and they were slow dancing in the living room, the whole world beyond them nothing but a dream.

Blaine sang along. Ich bleibe dein immerzu. Kurt could choose to understand or not. It wasn't in Blaine’s control.

And then he heard Kurt singing back, felt the vibrations of the words in his scalp as Kurt pressed his cheek pressed against the top of Blaine’s head: Nun stehst du hier und du sagst „Liebe mich,“ was ich so gerne tu. Blaine’s fingers flexed into Kurt’s back. He should say it. Liebe mich, Kurt. Liebe mich. That was the thing, wasn't it? He had told Kurt he loved him so many times that Kurt couldn't hear it for what it was. But if he said, Love me, Kurt, please. I need you to love me in every way you know how—then maybe Kurt would finally understand.

Als du kamst, da war ich selig, so wie du. So nimm mich und mach du uns glücklich, ich bleibe dein immerzu.

(You are blessed, and when you came into my life, I was, too. So take me and make us happy, I'll always belong to you.)

The music stopped. Blaine’s heart sped up. But Kurt’s arms were still around him, giving him strength. He could do this. He could say this. He lifted his eyes to Kurt’s, and Kurt was looking back at him as if he already knew.

“Kurt—”

Bang. Bang. Bang. “Elders! It's me, Dani! I heard you come in earlier and I have something for Elder Hummel’s birthday!”

“You told her about my birthday?” Kurt said incredulously. His arms were still on Blaine’s waist, but he had stepped back, his chest no longer warming Blaine’s.

Blaine bit his bottom lip to keep from swearing. “When I told her we were going to Allgäu. I didn’t think she’d do something about it.”

Kurt smiled softly. “It’s okay. I am the one who said I like presents.” And with that, he halfway across the room. “Coming, Dani!”

Kurt swung the door open. Dani stood there with a plate of cupcakes in one hand, her girlfriend at her shoulder, and Stürmchen at her ankles. “They’re chocolate. We were going to try something really fancy like Black Forest cake, but then I remembered you guys don't drink alcohol, and I wasn't sure if the kirsch counted. So just plain chocolate with chocolate frosting. We taste-tested a few and can guarantee that they are not terrible. But if you think they are, just throw them away, don't let Stürmchen eat any. Her birthday gift to you is her presence. You can have her overnight if you like. I know how much it kills you not to be able to have your own cat. Besides, the last couple nights she's been trying to sleep on top of my head and it drives me crazy.”

Stürmchen was already inside the apartment, rubbing herself all over Kurt’s ankles. Blaine found himself feeling jealous of the cat.

He took a deep breath. This was for the best. Today was Kurt’s day, not his. It wasn’t Blaine’s place to ask him for anything. It was a time to celebrate Kurt, and love him as much as Kurt would allow.

If Kurt wanted more, he would let Blaine know.

[inkskinned]

the thing is there's like, a point of oversaturation for everything, and it's why so many things get dropped after a few minutes. and we act like millennials or gen z kids "have short attention spans" but... that's not quite it. it's more like - we did like it. you just ruined it.

capitalism sees product A having moderate success, and then everything has to come out with their "own version" of product A (which is often exactly the same). and they dump extreme amounts of money and environmental waste into each horrible simulacrum they trot out each season.

now it's not just tiktokkers making videos; it's that instagram and even fucking tumblr both think you want live feeds and video-first programming. and it helps them, because videos are easier to sneak native ads into. the books coming out all have to have 78 buzzwords in them for SEO, or otherwise they don't get published. they are making a live-action remake of moana. i haven't googled it, but there's probably another marvel or starwars something coming out, no matter when you're reading this post.

and we are like "hi, this clone of project A completely misses the point of the original. it is soulless and colorless and miserable." and the company nods and says "yes totally. here is a different clone, but special." and we look at clone 2 and we say "nope, this one is still flat and bad, y'all" and they're like "no, totally, we hear you," and then they make another clone but this time it's, like, a joyless prequel. and by the time they've successfully rolled out "clone 89", the market is incredibly oversaturated, and the consumer is blamed because the company isn't turning a profit.

and like - take even something digital like the tumblr "live streaming" function i just mentioned. that has to take up server space and some amount of carbon footprint; just so this brokenass blue hellsite can roll out a feature that literally none of its userbase actually wants. the thing that's the kicker here: even something that doesn't have a physical production plant still impacts the environment.

and it all just feels like it's rolling out of control because like, you watch companies pour hundreds of thousands of dollars into a remake of a remake of something nobody wants anymore and you're like, not able to afford eggs anymore. and you tell the company that really what you want is a good story about survival and they say "okay so you mean a YA white protagonist has some kind of 'spicy' love triangle" and you're like - hey man i think you're misunderstanding the point of storytelling but they've already printed 76 versions of "city of blood and magic" and "queen of diamond rule" and spent literally millions of dollars on the movie "Candy Crush Killer: Coming to Eat You".

it's like being stuck in a room with a clown that keeps telling the same joke over and over but it's worse every time. and that would be fine but he keeps fucking charging you 6.99. and you keep being like "no, i know it made me laugh the first time, but that's because it was different and new" and the clown is just aggressively sitting there saying "well! plenty of people like my jokes! the reason you're bored of this is because maybe there's something wrong with you!"

[isatartdump]

Would do the entire dialogue but drawing Bonnie crying is the bane of my existence! HA

Anyway my reaction to when this entire dialogue was over was just. Hihi.

[thesmokinpossum]

If My Body Could Speak, Blythe Baird | The Godfather, Mario Puzo | My Father's House, Sylvia Fraser | To The Daughter Who Secretly Longs For Her Mother’s Affection, Lynne Shako | Storms from Jupiter, Wanda Deglane | DO NOT REPLY, @filmnoirsbian