#Not good at angst

[streamluckybyriize]

Doesn’t compare…

features-

Belle and Natty from Kiss Of Life

Hyunjin, Jeongin and Jisung from Stray Kids

-//- angst, bad ending, swear words

You’re hurt. You’re so hurt. He told you, he wasn’t ready for one. Wasn’t ready for commitment. Well clearly that was a fucking lie.

And what hurt even more? The fact he still tries talking to you, ignoring the fact he hasn’t told you while also not knowing you already know. You saw them on a date. And they kissed. And they were wearing matching clothes. They were together. You heard it from the girl herself. The girl from his history class. The girl who he didn’t want, because he wanted you. Again, clearly a fucking lie.

So now, you’re doing what any girl in this situation would do. Because if anyone forgot, you’re just a girl. A girl so hopelessly in love. A girl who’s tired of waiting. A girl who knows she deserves better. But she’s so in love.

You’re avoiding him. You’re skipping classes you have with him. You’re not spending your lunches at school, instead, driving to the basketball courts to distract yourself. You don’t play basketball. But listening to music while you sit on the hood of your car, eating take out, was so fun.

You’re mother doesn’t really mind, seeing that the classes you skipped weren’t were classes you thrived in, and weren’t that important. So yeah, she didn’t mind. Hyunjin did though. “He always stares at your fucking seat, all sad and shit.” Your best friend, Natty, scoffs. “He’s making it hard to believe he doesn’t care.”

“Just because he looks like it, doesn’t mean he’s only putting up a front. He hasn’t even spoken to me since the day they got together.” You explain, referring to last week, on Thursday. He had texted you, cancelling your plans once again. You realise now it’s because he was with Belle. Belle from History. Belle who everyone liked. Belle who liked Hyunjin. Who swore liked you. You shove a chicken tender into your mouth, relishing in the taste. Natty shrugs. “I never liked him anyway. Pretty privilege.” You roll your eyes. “You’re the actual definition of pretty privilege.” Natty winks before hopping off your car, taking all your rubbish to the bins. She wipes her hands on her shorts before sitting down again.

“We should probably head back. Unless you just wanna go home and get ready now.” She suggests and you actually like the sound of that. “Alright. Let’s go to yours though, Mum doesn’t want me leaving through half the day.” Natty nods before you both head to the doors.

“You both look so damn good.” Your other friend, Jisung, who also is Natty’s step sister, compliments. You rolls your eyes, smiling, while Natty spins, showing off the whole fit. “Where did you get ready? I didn’t see you when I was over at yours.” You ask, taking a sip of your drink. “Hyunjin’s.” You freeze at the mention of his name, and Natty slaps Jisung’s shoulder. “Don’t say the ‘H’ word, bro.” “Hoe? That word? Im sorry, and I love you to bits, Y/N-ie, but you need to lighten up. Please, get drunk.”

You nod. That’s the plan, after all.

And you are so good at following plans. You’re definitely on your way to being drunk. You are at the point where you don’t care how you look, or how loud you’re being. You’re having a good time, and you ended up joining a group to hang out with. The group includes you, Natty, Jisung and three other dudes you’ve known since basically diapers. You all went to the same schools ever since you learnt how to count, and you consider each and every person around you family. They are also helping you have a good time, all wrapping your arms around each other, screaming to the lyrics with drinks in hands. You even forgot about Hyunjin. That is, until he waltzed in, Belle from History under his arms, giggling at a joke he said to her. You immediately sobered up, all happiness wiped from your existence and it was clear all colour drained from your face because Natty looked so sad for you. Her mood was ruined too. But, you felt even worse when a pair of eyes that were happy, now shocked and remorseful, met yours. You turn, shoving your solo cup into Jeongin’s hands before hurrying away, looking for a place to run and hide.

You weren’t followed, thankfully. You really needed to be alone. You don’t understand why you’re so sad about this. Whatever you had with Hyunjin, wasn’t a relationship. Maybe it was the fact he would tell you to wait, and that he wasn’t ready, only for him to get with a girl a little less than later. He was so good at treating you right though. He always held your hand, sent you good morning and good night texts and a ‘x’ after. He called you pet names and he’d pick you up for random hang outs that were so much like dates. How could you not fall for him? Your heart felt heavy. Liked it was being absolutely shredded alive. Was wanting to disappear so bad now? No. It really couldn’t be. Not when it seems to tempting now.

“Y/N.” You heard someone call from outside the bedroom. You recognise that voice. You always could, even from a mile away. “Open the door please.”

“Go away. You have a girlfriend to accomodate.” You snap back, sitting on the bed. Tears fall, stinging your eye lids.

“Y/N, please.” Sadness washed away, anger replacing in a heartbeat. You stand up, walking to the door. You rip it open.

“You know what sucks, Hyunjin? I fell for you. I fell for you so fucking hard.” Tears stung your eyes again. “I know. I’m so sorry-“

“No because you don’t. You don’t know. If you knew, you would’ve felt the same. But it’s so fucking clear you don’t.”

“Y/N, please. I didn’t- i don’t deserve you. I didn’t want to hurt you more then I already was-“

“Hurt doesn’t even begin to explain what I’m feeling. You told me you weren’t ready for a relationship, Hyunjin. Then I hear last week on Thursday that you’re with Belle, after telling me earlier that week that you need more time. What were you planning on doing because you never brought that up.”

“You were avoiding me.”

“Rightfully so! You did want a relationship, but not one with me.” Hyunjin looked so defeated, and on a different situation, you would have held him and let him cry in your embrace. But he doesn’t deserve that. He now goes to Belle’s embrace instead. “And you don’t even deny it.”

“What am I supposed to do, Y/N?”

“Be fucking honest!” You yell. He flinched but you don’t care. “You didn’t want me until you needed me and after you were done with me, you tossed me like a rag. I was in love with you. I wanted you to have my children. I wanted you to sleep next to me in our bed. I only wanted you, but you wanted someone else. Then you lied about your plans and ditched me for Belle.” “I’m sorry.”

“You fucking should be.” You then walk past him. You’re tired. You just want to get drunk and forget about him. Hyunjin watched you leave for downstairs and his heart hurt. Badly.

Nothing compared to your pain though.

[ato-dato]

Piss off!!! Thanks!!!!!!!!!! :)))))

[hinamie]

to moving forward

[greykolla-art]

My blog has become infested with angst goblins, and they must be fed with some hypothetical scenarios!🙏💚

[finleycannotdraw]

we need all types of art in fandoms

[hg-aneh]

🪽

he fall on my demon till i disgrace

[lenaellsi]

doodle featuring retirement hobbies and the husbands subjected to them

[vanyamire]

Someone has to leave first. This is a very old story. There is no other version of this story.

[camilleflyingrotten]

[arkarti]

The Fall

the final moments of angel!crowley

Twitter: X

[vavoom-sorted-art]

he's never been held before

tagging @goodomensafterdark

[a-b-riddle]

Can’t stop thinking about poly141 who get so wrapped up in their own bullshit they begin to neglect reader. So you leave 🤷🏼‍♀️

It wasn’t a big deal at first. You understood that their jobs were intense to say the least. You own a bookshop, which in itself was exhausting, but you understood how they could get carried away with work.

You had excused the many delayed returned texts or missed FaceTime dates when they were deployed. When they came home, they almost always made it up to you. Showering you with attention and quality time.

But the past two returns home have been… different.

Usually at least one of them made a beeline to your shop or your loft if it was too late in the evening. You always held your breath when it was just one of them.

“They’re okay.” Was the usual answer. “Everyone made it back okay.” It was only then that you could melt into whoever’s hands you were in.

After one of their recent returns home you had voice to Price that you didn’t appreciate several days passing after they came back and no one had bothered to tell you. He had snapped. Arguing that a mission doesn’t finish just because they land back on soil. There was paperwork and debriefing to be done. If and when they wanted to see you they would.

He didn’t apologize until later. Crawling into your bed, using one of the keys you had given them. Blaming the stress. How they had almost lost Johnny for the reason of his outburst. What else could you do but forgive him?

So you had given them space after that one. Not holding it against them to decompress before seeing you.

The next time was the final straw. Solidifying how little they cared about you and how much power you had given them.

Johnny had come in around 7 one evening. He was dressed nicely, for civilian standards. You were reading a book on the couch when he had let himself in. You were wearing on of Simon’s sweatshirts and panties. He took you in for a moment before scooping you up.

He fucked you absolutely stupid. Adamant on having you cum on his tongue, his fingers and his cock. You were only able to bask in the afterglow of him filling you up before he started pulling his pants back on.

“What are you doing?” There were times that you would practically need a crow bar to get Johnny detached from you just long enough to relieve yourself. You had gotten many a UTI courtesy of Mr. John MacTavish.

“Dinner with my family tonight.” He explained by the time he was already buttoning his shirt. “The youngest just graduated and ma’ feels the need to go all out.” Now came the tie. Johnny was actually wearing a tie. To go to dinner. “A fancy dinner in London.” He huffed. “Meanwhile I’m out scufflin’ with bloody fuckin’ terrorists and I get a pat on the back.” He gave you a peck on the cheek before heading out the door. Promising to call you later.

You just sat in your bed. Still naked. Almost in shocked. He had fucked you and just… left. You were close to a panic attack as you called Simon.

Simon wasn’t the one to cuddle and coddle. But there was something so soothing at the sound of his voice or even how his heavy body felt perfect laying on top of you. Yes. Simon wasn’t the time to lift you up with words, but he was your own security blanket. Just having him close helped.

“Can you come over?” It wasn't unusal for Simon to be the one to come later in the evening. Insomnia was a bitch to deal with and you could sleep through the sounds of whatever he played on the tv. Most of the times you were content laying your head on his lap as he ran his hand along your head as if he were petting you. It was a bit cringe, but it knocked you out every time.

“What’s wrong?” He asked. The low timber of his voice already calming you.

“Johnny came over.” You sniffled. “He just fucked me and left.”

“Not surprised.” He scoffed. You could almost see him rolling those deep brown eyes of his. “If you wanted to cum, I’m happy to come over and help.”

For whatever reason, that only seemed to make you more upset. “You’re not listening.” You said, trying to spell it out for him. “He left. Like didn’t even stay and cuddle just left. Fucked me and left.”

“That’s why you’re calling me crying about?” He almost seemed… annoyed.

“Yes!” You said, nearly snapping. All of the tension from the last several months coming to the surface. “I’m not just a warm body to keep a bed cozy until you assholes decide you need to get one off.” Assholes. You called them assholes. “This isn’t what we agreed to.”

“Johnny is Johnny.” Simon tried to defend, not really caring to continue the conversation now knowing that you weren't in any sort of physical harm. “He wanted his dick wet and from the sound of it, that’s what he did. Don’t hold it against him because he had other things to do.”

“It’s not just Johnny leaving.” Your throat felt like it was tightening. A telltale sign you were close to crying. Whether from sadness or anger you weren't entirely sure. “The only time any of you want anything to do with me anymore is to fuck.” You missed date nights and lunches. You missed texting any and all of them about your day, about theirs. About new books. You had been trying for months to tell them over dinner one of your books got picked up. Yours was being traditionally published.

None of them had bothered to even try penciling you in.

“You got yours.” You heard the popping of a can top. Simon was settling in for the night. Once he popped a top at home there was no getting him out. He wasn't coming for you. “I don’t understand what you’re bitchin’ to me about. Yeah, in the beginning we indulged ya a bit? Dressed you up, took you out. But you should have known spreadin’ them legs of yours wouldn’t end with one of us puttin’ a ring on your finger.”

You didn’t know what to say. What could you say? These were the men that pursued you. Initially, individually, but when tensions became to much they offered a solution. All of them. Four times the attention, of the affection.

Four times the love.

But also four time the neglect. Four times the amount of heartbreak and disappointment. Loving all of them meant putting yourself in a position to let each of them hurt you in their own way and they had.

John's constant state of snapping at you as if you were one of his men.

Johnny swinging by as if you were just a fuck buddy. Not even bothering to give a peck before leaving.

Kyle essentially ignoring you for weeks now. Ghosting you for hours or having to cancel on date nights last minute or claiming that he really did forget that the two of you had planned to meet for lunch.

And now there was Simon. Telling you that all you meant to them was what was between your thighs.

Spreadin' them legs of yours wouldn't end with one of us puttin' a ring on your finger.

None of them ever intended on making this into something more. That much was clear now.

You didn't know what to say to Simon. You couldn't think of a witty retort. You couldn't find the proper insult to whirl his way. You couldn't convey just how much his words had hurt.

So you did the only thing you could.

You hung up.

[caninesfangs]

"I haven't always been a demon"

Angel Crowley✨️😔

[hinamie]

quick itfs sketch page

[kikipancakes]

Gentle persuasion

A veeeeeery loose sequel to this (x)

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intertwined fate