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mazm-imagines · 9 months

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Thy Creature Modern/Zombie AU Part 1

This started as a joke but after talking with @fleurrice on the server... this is for real and its loooooong so like strap in. Spoilers for Thy Creature btw even tho this is an AU. BTW I WENT PAST THE WORD COUNT OOOOPS... I'll add a part two later...

Tw for corpses, mention of organs, blood and essentially anything from the og Thy Creature and Frankenstein

Ingolstadt Uni ofc... but honestly it can just be any vague German university for the sake of plot

Please this all came out because I wanted to see Victor as a nervous college student

"he a mortuary science student who took the wrong major" as per fleurrice's words.

Noah in the same major but fleurrice added on "he's the professor" and that's canon to me now.

He's beefing with some 19 yo (unofficial) TA 😒 (Justine). He's also beefing with Victor which I will explain later on. His students like him well enough though even if he's kind of strict. The type of asshole to jump a pop quiz because someone annoyed him a little. He has a good sense of humor and tries to be understanding because he's also been through some stuff.

Justine I think would major in hospitality. Instead of being Victor's maid I think she would just be a childhood friend who's mother was employed by his family.

Hanna would be an art professor of sorts. She has crazy social anxiety but when teaching she's passionate and encourages her students. A lot of students look up to her.

Ben would probably teach something with agriculture. He's a man of few words though... ever since his wife took the kids. Old shame.

Chris would be the alcoholic building manager. He's pretty grumpy. something abt the war .

Alex would be a social worker that had prior experience in hunting. She's very grandmacore and her attitude relaxes a lot of people. She's a good leader to them.

OKAY SO this is a really hyperspecific American thing but like how military recruiters bait highschoolers into joining on promise for free college tuition. Leon would be the sucker that believes in it. But they're German so I guess an alternative would be he's in college for now as a backup plan but plans on entering the military later on. He's kind of a jock but he's nice and popular. This is so oddly specific but I feel like he'd major in either buisness or engineering. Maybe even medicine bc I feel like he'd wanna help people.

This would start off similar to the plot of Thy Creature where Victor starts his research because his mother dies and he wants to know the meaning of life. What better way than to actually use her dead body!

Yeah starting off insane here. He uses his mother's corpse to make Siren. Don't ask why she has tentacles there's octopus DNA in there now...

Because she's the first specimen she's also the most unstable/crazy one. That's also why she's so powerful.

Anyways Victor is freaked out and locks her in his basement. But apparently not freaked out enough because he keeps experimenting.

Originally I was going to have Atlas/Loss and Raven/Not-Guilty at the very end but I think they'd be better here. Atlas is mixed with some horned creature's DNA and Raven is of course mixed with a raven's DNA. Raven is temperamental and thrashes in her bonds while Atlas is docile and doesn't really do much. Victor doesn't care he hates them both, basement time. Raven gives him a little scratch on the way out though...

Now Victor experiments on twins, Nameless and Creature. A byproduct of the experiment is that a zombies hair will bleach white. But sometimes it will stay the original color. Nameless is incredibly unstable, constantly attempting to turn into his more monstrous form. Creature however besides the white hair is perfectly stable. You almost wouldn't be able to tell something is wrong with it.

It runs away though lolllll... lolllll. Victor locks up nameless in his basement with the others. Now that he knows he can make a stable reanimated corpse he just keeps on chugging.

Creature kind of becomes a campus myth like the trash muncher. Mostly non-malevolent though.

Now Noah has caught on to Victor by now. He catches him trying to take something from the morgue but his higherups aren't too hard pressed about it because Noah doesn't have sufficient proof + Victor cleans up really well. Also Noah unironically beefs with a 19 yo for fun so not the most credible. But Noah knows.

Victor half contemplates just hitting Noah with a shovel and doing what he has to but that's hardddddd.

Fortunately for Victor! William Frankenstein found dead in a ditch.

Yeah so while the Creature was out n about it accidentally infected William bc it didn't know it can do that.

Victor immediately takes William's body to mess around. Noah hears about his loss and also about how his mom died and he's like oh no wonder he's weird around corpses. And kind of drops the matter because maybe he's just grieving.

Oh he's grieving alright. G-making r-his i-next eving-specimen.

He uses William's body to make Erysichthon/EL. This specimen is mostly stable, able to switch between monstrous and human at will. However... he likes biting people on purpose and noms Victor on the arm.

Basement time. Basements all over the place.

Now I didn't know if I wanted her to be before or after EL, but maybe after. Victor wanted to experiment on a young child, see how manageable it'd be. Thus he uses a young girl to make 701/Loneliness. She is mostly stable, but she's really hyperactive, so like average kid shit. Unfortunately Victor is kind of unfamiliar with children so he throws her in the basement as well.

Noah when his student makes 7 atrocities against man in his basement:

Victor's health has been declining drastically as well from his lacerations. He'd been growing more delirious.

While Victor's sleeping on his fucking futon on the floor, he forgets to lock the door... and well ... the monster mash comes out.

Instesd of having Nepe Victor/Regret as a final boss, Victor himself is the final boss. But instead he's infected and a shell of his former shelf. The nepes don't attack him because he has a "vaccine" against them in the form of being infected.

Yeah this whole time he's been using parasitic bacteria for reanimation. It made the nerves jolt and he's like I can work with this.

Worked a bitttt too well. The only way to kill these zombies would be to burn them.

Ofc they start infecting everyone on campus. All entrances are blocked by Nepes zombies. More specifically it's this unidentifiable biomass coagulating around the doors.

🤣🤣🤣 Noah's boutta kill this motherfucker with his bare hands. As soon as the first zombie enters the room he doesn't hesitate to hit it with a chair. Bro is PISSED.

You just know his ass is saying "I KNEW IT" the entire time. He distributes sterile gloves/masks to the rest of the team later on to prevent any sort of pathogens from going inside their bloodstream. But eventually they're going to need something better to filter that shit out.

As soon as Hanna sees what's going on outside she locks the doors to her classroom aaaaaand goes catatonic . Her students have to look after her till the others come.

Hanna unfortunately has to see her students die because plot. Hanna always saw her students like family even if they cycled out fast. They'd be nice to her because they know she's trying her best and vice versa. So it just. Especially sucks for her with the knowledge that these students will never grow up to be accomplished adults like she knew they could be.

Noah meets Justine again and asks her if she can help with talking to Victor to see if there's a way to bring the zombie nepes back to normal.

In reality he just wants to know where Victor lives on campus so he can go beat the shit out of him really hard. Justine doesn't have to know that tho.

They find EL in a corner passed out. He looks like a normal enough boy and he could just be one of the professors children. Hanna and Justine especially want to help him.

Noah is a bit reluctant but he is just a kid.

However as we established EL is kind of a freak. He breathes down their necks and he doesn't start anything just yet. He wants to see how many people are still remaining so he holds off on biting.

Creature comes in purely on accident. It manages to bite through the biomass in the front door and go inside.

Once the gang determine it won't really bite them + it's useful for plowing through the other nepes, they take it in as well.

The university seems to be split between 6 nepes (like the tower and it's 7 floors). Each Nepe has it's own mark. Like you can tell someone got mutated by Siren via the tentacles coming out of them. However Atlas doesn't really do much so his neck of the woods is a peaceful place.

Unfortunately EL realizes they're the only ones left and attacks before he gets attacked. He bites Ben and tries attacking Hanna before Alex shoots him.

They think Creature infected him... which technically it didddd but on accident and it did that to William not Erysichthon. But they still need it for killing the Nepe bosses.

701 bites people to make friends 😭. Her zombies are a bit like. Preserved. Like dolls. They can't move much because their joints are stiff and they've become colorless. Noah's a bit reluctant to hit a child but considering he's seen enough corpses already he's emotionally bracing himself. Chris however has no hesitation. Molotov her ass ❤

Yeah Chris has been making molotovs and shit with his booze. If it works it works.

Ben has started to go a bit insane from the infection. They muzzle and tie his hands up so he can't wound anyone. He can still speak albeit in broken words. They don't want to kill him because of the chance of a cure + he's not hurting anyone so if it's not needed they won't kill him.

Leon, Noah, Alex, Chris, and Creature have been the ones primarily fighting. Leon and Noah are incredibly jacked and let's just say... Noah is motivated by pure spite. Alex and Chris have survival experience so they know what to do in certain situations. And Creature is creature. It takes over later on for fighting while the others try to live the best they can. Hanna and Justine help with injuries.

Hanna also knows Victor had been up to something, on a particularly bad day she said she saw him in the halls carrying corpses and asked what the hell was going on. He admitted his plan to her and while it sounded insane, she thought perhaps... he could get her baby back. He promised to do so if she kept quiet and she did. She later pushed this memory to the back of her mind so she only remembered recently. That's why she went catatonic.

Justine is really concerned for Victor because she knows he hasn't been well. He hasn't et her take care of him either. Wouldn't even let Clerval or Elizabeth visit. So the fact this happened? Oh he's deaddddd.

The gang are focused on finding a safe way out but also to exterminate all the zombies so they won't escape either for the greater good. Noah himself is also trying to research the disease to reverse it because as luck would so happen, he has a hefty amount of medical knowledge. He's been serving as their medic as well.

Raven is terrifying to fight because she and those she infected, have wings and talons (which have grown over time). They fly down to try to slash at the group. Creature uses itself as a meatshield to protect them before finally beating the shit out of Raven and charring her. Bird down.

ELs back-! As Erysichthon. There's green mucus from the corners of his mouth. The zombies on his floor are the more traditional type, except their flesh is slowly breaking down into slime because of his saliva. (He bit them harder than he did Ben and Victor). Again Creature has to fight him and burn him down.

Atlas doesn't do much, he doesn't resist getting killed. His area is not a zone, more so a corner he's been pushed to. They keep him in that area as a way to ward off the other Nepe zombies because his presence seems to work on them like a relaxant. Which in turn makes it easier to kill them. They only kill him when his presence starts agitating Ben and making them all feel a bit sleepy.

Siren is terrifying to fight. Her zombies have grown tentacles. And once she latches on ohhhhhhhh. She is also the most powerful. Her flesh covers the exit. She releases a vapor that acts as a hallucinogen, making everyone see happy visions and want to never leave. Of course that won't do. Fry her ass 🔥🔥🔥🔥

Nameless' area rumbles with his growling. He can't control himself from mutating like every other day but he's trying to hold on to what little humanity he has. But he's also the most brutal. His mutant form literally eating out people's organs and leaving them half behind.

As soon as he sees Creature though, he feels more at peace. More in control of himself, as if it was his other half. But he still wants it to kill him.

He's almost able to control himself for good, but he gets triggered into his mutant form again, and because he can't stabilize himself and is a threat to everyone else, he gets killed. Sadge.

Now that all the major Nepe contaminants are gone, they can finally go to Victor and ask him what the fuck is wrong with him.

Victor's eyes have gone completely black and yellow (another sign of the infected). He's crazed with power but breaking down at the same time. He's begging them to save him but he's beyond saving. The skin that ELbit has gone gelatinous and raven's scratch marks have overgrown with feathers. Tentacle marks on his legs all that jazz.

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giant1956 · 2 years

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hi What r ur fav rock hudson movie s .... i must know

!!!!!yes okokso all the performances i love from him are usually ones where he uses his natural-to-him "still waters run deep" acting so anything that has to do w identity drama or internal emotional conflict is where i gravitate. here’s my list (in no particular order). i kind of just infodumped really fucking hard sorry. i made myself stop after an hour tho lmao.

giant, ‘56. - the part of bick benedict was fucking perfect for him. he was big, brash and fucking awful but there was always something simmering beneath that, a complexity that isn’t spoken but shown. there’s a human being there dying to escape the rigid parameters of the roles he was submitted to as the son of a great american male: a breadwinner with a duty to hoard land and wealth, a husband in possession of a submissive and dutiful wife, a father in possession of obedient children, but more importantly a man w the responsibility to maintain the legacy of the men that came before him. someone who’s intolerance was always rewarded and yearning for freedom was always punished - his childhood isn’t shown but the way he interacts with his own children makes it clear. you can watch the movie thru so many lenses but watching it thru a feminist lens you can see the critical way rock played bick’s toxic masculinity. i mean the silent grief and desperation to communicate during the fireplace scene when leslie tells him she’s taking the children to her parents and when he waves goodbye to his family at the station then hes standing there alone as the train pulls away….he’s got all this money this land this power and he’s fucking miserably alone because he’s drowning underneath the weight of all his expectations. desperately trying to fit into a box nd miserable when he can’t and when his family can’t fit in there with him. I MEAN the way he crowns jordy the successor of this legacy of pain but you can tell that kid is terrified of him nd can see thru all the machismo to his heartbreak nd would rather not inherent that shit thx……….UGH. idk rock just makes you feel for this horrible lovely bigoted heartbroken man without even needing to speak. (i could write another 50 pages so im gonna stop here)

seconds, ‘66. - his most autobiographical movie ig. talking about it in the context of who he was as a person nd not just who he was as an actor feels like tonguing at a sore its just…such a fucking powerful film nd he was really going thru it. stunning cinematography, direction, supporting performances but that movie wouldn’t’ve been half as good if you had anyone else playing antiochus.

all that heaven allows, ‘55. - he’s fucking everything in this movie. a beatnik tree farmer in love w an older woman played by jane wyman, set in a small new england town, in the autumn nd winter??????? like obviously its great. but his collaborations w sirk come to a glorious head for this movie. they were reading each other's minds nd you can telllll

ice station zebra, ‘68. - maybe not on everyone’s list but idc he’s basically a star trek captain in this movie nd his gentle authority nd monotone calmness soothes me. he’s got the cary grant thing where his line reads are self aware nd a little self deprecating and it makes for a good watch if you like super long nd boring movies w cold war plots nd where they try to get everything super accurate about submarines...which i do. omg ernie borgnine and patrick mcgoohan are also great.

come september, ‘61. - i fukcing love this one idk why people talk about it like it's a cut rate day/hudson wannabe. it makes me laugh whenever i watch it he’s so fucking funny in this movie nd gina lollobrigida does a decent job too.

pretty maids all in a row, ‘71. - gene roddenberry wrote this………………gene roddenberry fucking wrote this. anyway. disgusting, perverted, horrific, hilarious, terrible, fantastic. his character;s literally called tiger nd spends the entire film sleeping w everyone that walks into his office also he’s a murderer. it's clearly inspired by manson its a great b movie i meanjust the scene where he calmly holds angie’s tit while they talk?????lmaooooo. he shouldve played more psychopaths. oh nd the post-fuck kaftan + curly hair is a top 5 look of all time.

hornets' nest, ‘70. - this movie is also fucking ridiculous. it’s audacious, its incredibly violent and the outrage it gets you to feel about how violent the kids are is definitely evocative when you realize its a vietnam flick nd that’s the whole point. rock throws grenades while driving a truck one handed (no double) the physicality of the role is impressive nd for that alone its on my list.

a farewell to arms, ‘57. - IK WHAT YOURE THINKING BUT LISTEN david fucking o. selznick is what made this a terrible movie. jennifer jones and rock were acting for their LIVES and vittorio de sica is incredibleincredibleincredible if production didn’t fall apart nd selznick wound his fucking neck in and didn’t run john huston off the project like a week before (days???) before filming this movie could’ve been so fucking good. i mean??????????? that last scene almost makes up for all the shit you need to slog through to get there. almost

send me no flowers, ‘64. - ive already watched this three times this year. ive got hypochondria nd its nice to see someone more neurotic than me, thanks george kimball, but the real draw for me is that rock’s character is emotionally married to tony randall’s character as much as he’s actually married to doris day’s. seeing him act w paul lynde is fucking great also.

#ask #thank you for giving me an excuse ohmy god #royfitz

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robinofinashiro · 3 years

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request from anon: “Hi, can I request yandere alphabet for Kyojuro Rengoku 👉👈Thank you and have a good day Queen.”

pairing: yandere! kyojuro rengoku x fem reader

request status: OPENED

A - Affection: How do they show their love and affection? How intense would it get?

rengoku does not give a singular fuck who sees him when it comes to giving you affection! you’re in the public? you’ll be holding his hand, kissing your cheek when he feels like it, and if it’s that bad, he’ll do a quickie in the bathroom.

B - Blood: How messy are they willing to get when it comes to their darling?

very messy! he doesn’t care. if he sees someone getting too close to you, he’ll make sure to get rid of them as soon as possible. he can’t let anyone get close to you. he’ll go to the ends of the earth to make sure that you’re by his side and that no one comes in between the two of you.

C - Cruelty: How would they treat their darling once abducted? Would they mock them?

honestly, he’ll mock the hell out of them when he feels like it’s necessary. if you’re purposely doing things to annoy him or going out of your way to piss him off, he’ll make sure to remind you that you’re never leaving him. other than that, he’ll treat you like you’re a princess! you deserve everything in the world and he’ll give it to you if he feels like you deserve it.

D - Darling: Aside from abduction, would they do anything against their darling’s will?

despite from the sweet nature that he gives off, he will do ONE thing against your will and that’s to have kids. he needs to continue his family line and since Senjuro isn’t working to be a pillar anymore, he needs to make sure that someone continues that and it might have to be his kid.

E - Exposed: How much of their heart do they bare to their darling? How vulnerable are they when it comes to their darling?

rengoku, when he feels like the time is right, will bare everything to his darling. come on now, you’re gonna be his wife, right? it’s only right that you know what his baggage is! he doesn’t care if you judge him or not, when it comes to this sort of thing, he kinda wears his heart on his sleeve.

F - Fight: How would they feel if their darling fought back?

he would be kinda pissed. you’re supposed to be this perfect wife/darling and by you acting out, he doesn’t sit well with that. why can’t you be more like Sanemi’s wife? a perfect little darling that just sits there and waits for her husband like she should. punishment is a whole other ballgame that i will touch on later.

G - Game: Is this a game to them? How much would they enjoy watching their darling try to escape?

absolutely tf not. how can this be a game to someone? rengoku is the kinda person where if he meets someone that he falls madly in love with, he’ll stick by you until one of you dies first and even then, he might commit sewerslide if you happen to be the one to go first. however, he might get a kick watching you trying to leave him bc it’s nearly impossible to leave where you’re trapped.

H - Hell: What would be their darling’s worst experience with them?

rengoku’s affection, jesus christ. that shit could get mad annoying. if he’s had a particularly bad day, just brace yourself and let it happen bc he will be one affectionate mf. it could get to the point where he’ll be affection even into the next day if it’s that bad.

I - Ideals: What kind of future do they have in mind for/with their darling?

literally a picture perfect life. (very much the american dream in a sense). he wants kids, hell, if you want pets of some sort, he’s down to adopt a few dogs or whatever you or your kids want. he just wants everyone to see that his family is perfect and how far he’s willing to go for them.

J - Jealousy: Do they get jealous? Do they lash out or find a way to cope?

oh absolutely. rengoku is the type of mf that if he sees someone flirting with his darling, he’s ending that shit QUICK. he cannot and will not let it happen. clearly it isn’t your fault so he’ll console you that you had no way of knowing what that scums intentions were and after he’s done with that, he’ll try to find the person to give them a lesson.

K - Kisses: How do they act around or with their darling

he will be very clingy like i said. he wants everyone to know that his relationship is perfect but in private, double that. he’ll make sure that you know you’re loved and that he wouldn’t trade his life with you for anything in the world.

L - Love letters: How would they go about courting or approaching their darling?

he would try the attempt to court you at first. rengoku is someone who is very charming so 8/10 times, it’ll work. however, if you’re being stubborn, that’s when the other side of rengoku comes out. but if you do decide to date him willingly, he’s the sweetest mf ever. he’ll bring you courting gives to every date, etc, etc.

M - Mask: Are their true colors drastically different from the way they act around everyone else?

honestly, rengoku is seen as the black sheep in the sense that he’s always readily happy and enthusiastic. not much changes when he’s in the public. unless you happen to piss him off in public, seemingly the only time when he would change his personality.

N - Naughty: How would they punish their darling?

he doesn’t try to do it often, he hates seeing you hurt. but if you happen to actually piss him off to the point where you need to be punished, anything ranging from being alone for days to sexual punishment (that i wont be going into detail for).

O - Oppression: How many rights would they take away from their darling?

not many tbh. you have free range into his entire estate. however if he has maids working around, they know it’s best for them not to talk to you. he wont let you leave his estate to speak to anyone. you have the right to anything as long as you’re not trying to leave or get into contact with someone. he’ll even let you visit your friends or family as long as he’s there.

P - Patience: How patient are they with their darling?

eh, he’s about 50/50. he can be very patient with you or be ticked off almost immediately. more than likely tho, he’ll deal with your shit most days. the days that he doesn’t, it’s probably bc he had already probably had a bad day and you’re just making shit worse.

Q - Quit: If their darling dies, leaves, or successfully escapes, would they ever be able to move on?

if you die, rengoku won’t move on and like i said before, he’d probably commit sleep forever. if you escape, he’ll spend the rest of his days looking for you. regardless if you escape or die, he won’t move on. you’re his and you will remain that way important person in his life.

R - Regret: Would they ever feel guilty about abducting their darling? Would they ever let their darling go?

to a certain point, he’d feel guilty. i think the only thing eating him up is the unethical part in all of this. the fact that he’s basically abducted you and refuses to let you go. but will he ever let you go? absolutely not. you’d have to kill him before that happens.

S - Stigma: What brought about this side of them (childhood, curiosity, etc)?

i see the only way this happening is bc of his life. his childhood wasn’t the greatest but it wasn’t exactly the worst so idk, i think more than anything it was out of curiosity and probably seeing others do it that make him snap.

T - Tears: How do they feel about seeing their darling scream, cry, and/or isolate themselves?

if rengoku isn’t at fault for making you upset, he’s HEARTBROKEN. he doesn’t like seeing you that way and he’ll find the person that did it and make them pay for it. HOWEVER, if he was the cause of it, he almost turns into a wall and brushes it off, probably murmuring that you deserved whatever it is that made you cry.

U -Unique: Would they do anything different from the classic yandere?

honestly no. he wouldn’t only bc he’s very much the person that finds the classics of being a yandere as the only way to do it. anything like killing your darling or along those lines are way to extreme for him and he doesn’t like it when others step out of line.

V - Vice: What weakness can their darling exploit in order to escape?

SENJURO RENGOKU. his little brother is also his world and i think if you catch kyojuro in a situation where you can exploit senjuro, he might give in but honestly, it probably won’t hurt and it’ll be worse for you when he finally has you alone.

W - Wit’s end: Would they ever hurt their darling?

like i said before, only if it was necessary. he wouldn’t ever intentionally hurt you if you didn’t deserve it. he doesn’t like seeing you hurt and he hates seeing you cry so only if it came to you being a brat would he then actively physically punish you.

X - Xoanon: How much would they revere or worship their darling? To what length would they go to win their darling over?

ehhhhhh, not really. he sees this relationship as 50/50 however he did kinda worship you when he wasn’t your boyfriend/husband but he would go different lengths in order to win you over. he doesn’t really care what he has to do, he will make you his whether you like it or not.

Y - Yearn: How long do they pine after their darling before they snap?

tbh, it doesn’t take long before he snaps. if he sees you going out with someone and he feels like you might leave him, that’ll be a point. if he sees you being too free, that might be another point. in general, less than a year before he snaps. hell, less than half a year.

Z - Zenith: Would they ever break their darling?

mentally, YES! physically, if he needed to. but not to the point where he’s killed you.

#yandere demon slayer #yandere kimetsu no yaiba #kny #demon slayer #demon slayer imagine #demon slayer x reader #Kimetsu no Yaiba #kimetsu no yaiba x reader #kimetsu no yaiba imagine #rengoku kyojuro x reader #kyojuro rengoku #kyojuro rengoku imagine #yandere kyojuro rengoku

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donttouchtheneednoggle · 3 years

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Elyan? 😃

Favorite thing about them: his sarcasm and fearless chaos, tied with his kindness 🥰

Least favorite thing about them: 5x06.

Favorite line: "So he's like that with all the maids in camelot?"

OTP: Perelyan 🥰 VERY closely followed by Elyaine

brOTP: Hi and gwen and leon 🥺

nOTP: Ummm please nobody murder me but i kind of only like Merelyan out of the principle that if everyone else gets shipped with Merlin you sure as fuck better ship Elyan with him too but actually?? They just don't inspire me very much even tho they have so much in common i think it's just my weird i kinda find merlin boring now thing 🙈

Random headcanon: His favourite colour is purple hands down. He is trans, gay, and ace depending on how I'm feeling. Once Gwen becomes queen he deliberately gets into loaded political arguments with annoying nobles just to win them by saying well my sister's the queen and running off. He is good at a lot of things, but cooking is not one of them. He is the entire castle's resident bug guy, a servant finds a spider at 2am on the other side of the castle? They tell the nearest guard to fetch Sir Elyan. He has innatentive type ADHD. He is a YOUNGER sibling and i will die on this hill.

Unpopular opinion: He is flat out the best knight and not just in an exclude him and i kill you way. Like he doesn't have a big defined 'thing' that he is like the others do (like lance is honourable knight, gwaine is the flirty one, leon is the mum one, percy is Arm), and if i was being EXTREMELY generous that could be why people tend to overlook him (u know that's not it tho) but I'd argue it makes him a way better character like for the amount of screentime he got he has so many dimensions he has such an interesting backstory, wardrobe, relationships, motivations... just. HIM

Song i associate with them: luck by american authors

Favorite picture of them:

Serene

Smiley 🥺

Swords can be a love language actually ❤

#bbc merlin #sir elyan #my everything <3 #ask game

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sunfortune · 3 years

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oooh recommend some rom coms ?

my conclusion of that phase in 2019 was that most american romcoms are not that good 😔 but i’ll give you a list of all the ones i watched and the ones i would NOT rec from them. you be the judge of the rest

leap year

roman holiday

jersey girl 1992 not the one with ben affleck (cute)

jersey girl the one with ben affleck ⛔️ (this is so bad)

the wedding planner ⛔️ (weird and boring. didn’t vibe with it)

maid in manhattan

set it up ⛔️ (didn’t care for this. the main couple barely had a connection to me)

chasing liberty

to all the boys 1

decoy bride ⛔️ (had potential but didn’t meet it. kind of boring)

27 dresses ⛔️ (had potential but didn’t meet it. not terrible tho. more entertaining than decoy bride)

how to lose a guy in 10 days

practical magic

under the tuscan sun (more a coming of age with an older woman and romance. really liked this <3 also sandra oh is in it and she plays a lesbian)

love rosie ⛔️ (this movie uses miscommunication as a plot device for like 2 straight hours. not terrible but like come ON)

seducing mr perfect

something new

he’s just not that into you ⛔️ (terrible)

where the heart is

greatest showman ⛔️ (not a romcom but i watched it for the romance. shouldn’t have)

isn’t it romantic (this was funny but the romance wasn’t well incorporated into the comedy. had a lot of fun watching it tho. would still rec)

ek ladki ko dekha to aisa laga

all i wish (can’t remember a single thing about this movie. i honestly don’t know)

always be my maybe ⛔️ (had some funny parts but the romance wasn’t there for me)

guernsay potato peel ⛔️ (romance drama. terrible)

a walk in the clouds (this was cute. keanu reeves. female leads pregnant and her bf leaves her and she has a traditional family so keanu reeves helps her by fake dating her to save face. cuteee. takes place on a vineyard)

down to you ⛔️ (THE worst romance i have ever watched and probably ever made. just sooo weird. felt like a really pointed student film to like the directors ex or something)

gudiyan patole (LOVED the female lead in this so much but the man she ended up with was so fucking annoying could not stand him. the romance isn’t the main plot so i’d still rec but Man. at what cost)

#long post #ask

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impossiblelibrary · 3 years

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Today's rant brought to you by: Queer Eye Japan, can we all just try to be as kind as they try to be?

After watching the Queer Eye Japan super short season, I wanted to google to see the overall reaction to the show, make sure that my western eyes were correct in seeing the care that was given to the culture. Were cultural taboos, other than being outwardly gay, crossed? So I find this article in the top results and other than the perspective, why tho? Tokyoesque.com had an article with a higher reading level, with surface level appreciation but at least better written.

I can't get over this hate article though. Unfounded, dumb, wrong and incorrect. Do not go forward unless you like that blistering kind of anger from me.

But the reasons just get weaker as the article extends: "Hurts the country it set out to save?" Looking for white savior much? They did not go to save Japan, they gave some free shit to like 4-5 people, think smaller.

Their culture guide wasn't gay enough.

You want to suggest any lgbt insta models or celebrities, use your platform to raises some up?

"There is a growing sexless culture in Japan for married and unmarried people, and it is perilous watching Queer Eye present this without any context behind what is driving this behavior."

Sexiness is what the fab 5 embrace, unfortunately and it was probably discussed behind the scenes of how much talking about sex was allowed or polite and the conversation of not having sex is closer to the tip of the tongue rather than the feeling of sexiness. The West is not the ones blasting that information. It is across multiple Japanese printed newspapers and online stories by now and the "context" is still being discussed and debated amongst Japanese. So I don't think any outsiders should be weighing in or "explaining" this phenomenon. We can repeat what we have been told but guessing at the reasons is not our place. The reasons illustrated by the author of the article seem lacking, a take but not the only one, but who am I to speak on that being in a sexual relationship with someone who pulls from that culture?

Kiko begins to lecture Yoko-san on how she “threw away her womanhood” (referring to a Japanese idiom, onna wo suteru) by going makeup-free and wearing drab, shapeless clothes.

The mistranslation by the subtitles fixed by this author was necessary information. But Kiko didn't lecture her on it, it was brought up by Yoko before any of them arrived, that was her theme, that was what she had decided to focus on. Meanwhile, if you watched Jonathan, he understood there was no time to spend on makeup and skincare so provided her a one instrument, 3 points of color on the skin to feel prettier. That and the entire episode being the 5 treating her like a woman on a date, not trying to hook her up, which is what they did in American eps.

"In teaching a Japanese woman, who already struggles to find time for herself, how to make an English recipe, Antoni is making great TV and nothing more."

So Antoni shouldn't have taught her apple pie because it's too exotic for a Japanese woman. (Can you smell the sexism?)

He didn't make an apple pie, altho Yoko did mention her mother made that for her when she was a kid. He made an apple tartine after going to a Japanese bakery who makes that all the time. Then highlighted the apples came from Fuji in true Japanese media fashion. Honey, American television doesn't usually highlight where the ingredients come from. A Japanese producer told him to do that. So all worries handled within the same ep. She got Japanese ingredients, had the recipe shown to her and then made it for her friends in her own house. Did the author actually watch this show or nah?

"beaten over the head with his western self-help logic. “You have to live for yourself,” he says."

The style of build up the 5 went for was confrontational but in a "I'm fighting for you" way. It's hard to describe, but the best I can say is, a person has multiple voices in their head, from parents, siblings, society, and maybe themselves. By being loud and obnoxious, American staples right there, they are adding one more voice. You deserve this, you are amazing, you are worth it. I know this is against most Japanese cultural modesty, but maybe it shouldn't be.

Sarcasm lies ahead:

Apparently: mispronunciation is microaggressions, not just someone who had a sucky school system. Yea okay, They're laughing at the language not at how stumbling these monolinguals are with visiting another country. Mmhm. Japanese don't say I love you and don't touch and that should stay that way instead of maybe, once in awhile, feeling like they can hug. Yeah, let's just ignore Yoko's break down that she had never hugged her lifelong friend after hugging strangers multiple times. Maid cafes are never sexualized in Japan ever, just don't go down that one street in Akihabara where the men are led off by the hand sheepishly blushing. Gag me. And Japanese men love to cry in front of their wives and would never break down once the wife leaves. I have never seen a Japanese movie showcase that move. Grr.

"I identify as many cultures."

So you're a Japanese man when it's convenient for you to get an article published? Are you nationally Japanese or just ethnically or culturally?

Homeland is an inherently racist word?

"After the Bush administration created the Department of Homeland Security after the 9/11 terrorist attacks, a Republican consultant and speechwriter Peggy Noonan urged, “the name Homeland Security grates on a lot of people, understandably. Homeland isn’t really an American word, it’s not something we used to say or say now.”

Yes, let's use a Washington Post article rather than a etymology professor. Yes, the google search results increased after 2001 Homeland Security was used but the word has been around since the 1660s and I've read multiple turn of the century lit on white people returning to their homeland, i.e. the town off the coast they were born in.

"But" is not disagreeing. I think the repeated offender for the author is the not acknowledging the makeover-ees feelings. But, that is how LGBT have decided to deal with the inner voices that invade from society. They are just that, not our own, they are the influence of society, and we can choose, we have to choose, to be influenced by someone, anyone else.

Karamo can't speak about being black when an Asian is speaking about being Asian, even though the Asian gay man was feeling alone. It's called relating bitches, and I'm done with people saying that is redirecting the conversation, it's extending the conversation. That's how we talk, the spotlight is shared, especially when someone's about to cry and doesn't want to be seen as crying, time to turn the spotlight.

The gay monk wasn't good enough, you should have invited the gay politician.

Yeah, causes I'm sure a politician has all the time in the world for a quick stint and cry. They picked a Japanese monk who travels to NY because they had a guest who travels to the West too. Did you want him to stop traveling back and forth? Did you want a pure, ethnic and cultural Japanese gay man who has no ties to the west to talk to this Western educated young man? Seriously?

This is just not how it works in Japan.

Being in a multi-cultural marriage between two rebels, discussions on facets of culture are plenty in my household. Culture should be respected enough to be considered but not held on a pedestal like we should never adjust or throw some things out. LGBT being quiet and private for instance. "Being seen" was Jonathan's advice, and a good one especially for a Japanese gay man that was called feminine since he was a kid. Some gay men can hide, but as Jonathan said, he couldn't hide what he was, he couldn't hide this. So fuck it. Don't hide. It's actually more dangerous for a feminine man to come off as anxious rather than gay and proud. It makes you more of a target if they think you won't fight back. Proud means, Imma throw hands too, bitch.

This is also from the civil rights playbook going back to Black America: never hold a protest or a fight without the cameras, without being seen. LGBT have found the more seen they are, in media, in the streets, the better off we are. When LGBT Americans were being "private" about our lifestyles, we died, a la 1980s. They won't care if you start dying off if they never saw you to begin with.

And hence why I think the author's real anger is from these 5 being seen dancing flamboyantly in Shibuya, in Harajuku, afforded the privilege of doing this safely because of their tourist status, cameras and very low violence rate in Tokyo, loud and obnoxiously. Honestly, they wouldn't have been invited or nominated if they didn't want that brash American-ness coming into their home, just for a taste, at least.

Here's my real anger, my own jealousy: Japan's queer community currently does not have marriage or adoption rights. US does, so we have progressed further. But we are also not that many years from being tied to cow fences with barbed wire, beaten with baseball bats and left for dead overnight. If things are so bad over there, maybe take a few pages from the civil right playbook we took so much time to perfect and produced by the Black Americans who fought first. But so far, I only hear loss of jobs and marriages, which we still have here too. Stop trying to divide us, we are one community, LGBT around the world and we are here to try to help. Take it or leave it, it's not like we're going to go organize your own Pride parade for you.

Rant over? I guess. Is this important enough to be put in the google results along with his. Hell no, anyone with half a mind can see he's reaching more than half the time. And any argument about: this wasn't covered! There are a shit ton of conversations that are not covered in the 45 min they have. They are not a civil rights show, it's a makeover show, doing their best in that direction anyway. Know what it is.

Next blog post, what research I would guess was happening behind the scenes for each of the 5? I'm pretty sure I saw Jonathan doing Japanese style makeup there...

#queer eye #Queer eye Japan #original #rant

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hasquetzorkukudoneanythingwrong · 3 years

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RexCoatl main cast!

So I have decided to talk a bit about some of the more important characters in this lil ship's story! This is part 1!

(Don't expect multiverse stuff tho...)

Rex

One of the three last masters of humanity. Mexican-American that was born and raised in Kansas, with no prior experience to magecraft in any form before. Learned of it from his ancestor "gramps" an ancient magus from the age of gods, who gave Rex his Crest and the catalyst to summon Quetz and sent him off to chaldea. Currently Rex is married to Quetzalcoatl.

Quetzalcoatl

Quetzalcoatl is the mesoamerican goddess of wind, storms, earthquakes, culture, art, war, the sun and so on. Quetz is a big sis figure whose looked out for humanity for as long as possible. She rides on a Mesozoic dragon familiar, the Quetzalcoatlus, a giant plane sized pterosaur. Quetz is currently married to master Rex.

Rikko

One of the other masters of humanity. Very boisterous and bombastic, with an askicking attitude, comparable to a shounen character.

Rikka

Third master of humanity, and twin sister to Rikko. Has a cheerful but more down to earth personality compared to her brother. But still has a "never give up" kinda attitude!

Mash

Demiservant and dependable Kouhai! The masters' sworn shield and one of their best allies. Is currently in a relationship with one of the twins, tho which one is a mystery...

Jeanne Alter

Corrupt version of Jeanne d'arc, created by blue beard with the power of a grail. Since then she's become her own person and is actually a strong supporter of Rex and Quetz's relationship! Tho she shows it in her own subtle ways. Was actually the maid of honor for Quetz on her wedding day.

Gorgon

Infamous Greek monster who could turn you to stone with her eyes. A surprisingly good friend of the two. But of course she'd never admit it. Has repeatedly helped the couple through tough times but in her own unique ways. Has very rarely shown genuine care for the two.

Ishtar

Mesopotamian goddess of love and war, also another good friend of the couple. Has surprisingly good battle synergy with Quetz and has lent support to Rex repeatedly when she thinks he could use it. Always says they owe her for the help but never actually asks for them to return the favor.

Other more chaotic Kouhai for the group. Is a good ally for chaldea but does it in her own messy and chaotic ways, to the point she's sometimes thought to be an enemy.

Some tags

@hasjalterdoneanythingwrong @haspaulbunyandoneanythingwrong @hasbbdoneanythingwrong @haskamadoneanythingwrong @hasishtardoneanythingwrong @hasereshdoneanythingwrong @hastristandoneanythingwrong @kazosaurus @grievouslyxorvia @exmeowstic

#fate grand order #quetzalcoatl #wife #rex #mastersona #rexcoatl #gudas #mash kyrielight #jeanne d'arc alter #gorgon #ishtar #bb

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criesinmultifandommess · 3 years

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DSMP Model AU

something different from what I usually post :)

I don't really know much about modelling and fashion, so apologies if some of this is wrong or I'm missing something

lotsa words under the cut, you've been warned <3

Dream wants to create a fashion show :D

there's Dream's company known as Smile, the L'Manberg company, and a few freelancers that caught Dream's eye

Smile: Dream, Sapnap, Punz, Bad, Ant, Sam, Skeppy, Callahan, Purpled

L'Manberg: Wilbur, Niki, Eret, Fundy, Jack, Tommy, Tubbo, Ranboo

Freelance: George, Hannah, Schlatt, Quackity, Foolish, Puffy, Ponk, Techno, Phil

spans about 4-6 months in planning

something something scandal about Dream hiring Eret, Niki, Karl, Ant, and Puffy for LGBTQ+ brownie points uhh yeah American media is an absolute shitshow anyways all of them defend and support Dream (some nicely, some not-so-nicely, some very passive-aggressively)

the show itself takes less than an hour to do; 75 thousand people attend, even more watch it live

after party gets wild. almost no one remembers what happened that night, but it was wild (the interns were sent home early, dw)

they all trade numbers at the end to keep in contact, as they should

just a lot of forced friendship, screams, and chaos, nothing new

Models

George: an up-and-coming model; has an Instagram account that almost that a lot of people follow but he rarely posts; freelance

Sapnap: Dream's first model and followed him into the fashion world; likes to credit himself for getting Dream to where he is now

Wilbur: is a model for fun; works as a freelance musician but also accidentally created the L'Manberg company so yeah

Niki: also a model for fun; works at a flower shop in her downtime; part of the L'Manberg company

Eret: has been modelling for a while; was freelance for a while before getting picked up by the L'Manberg company; Wil likes to threaten to kick them out because they were the first one to agree to model in Dream's show but it's all lighthearted

Fundy: modelling is alright but playing pranks on the other models/photographers and recording them is much better; doesn't play pranks on any hair/makeup artists anymore tho bc one artist got so fed up they switched his outfit with a maid one and posted pictures; he still gets a lil nervous when he's getting his makeup done; accidentally called Wilbur his dad once and no one lets him live it down; part of the L'Manberg company

Hannah: likes to wear eco-friendly clothing; went through a phase of weaving roses into her hair regardless of what she was wearing; she still does that but dialed it down to only one rose and color coordinates the rose with her outfit; freelance

Designers

Dream: head designer, obviously; Sapnap dared him to wear a paper plate with a smiley face on it at a show/interview but it backfired because Dream's popularity skyrocketed and he made it his brand; parents passed down their company to him

Punz: does not care about dressing himself but will judge others; part of Dream's company

Schlatt: close to the L'Manberg company, but isn't a part of them; flirts with just about anyone; has several hidden stashes of alcohol scattered around the set that no one has discovered yet

Quackity: yes, he still wears the beanie; in a constant rotation of make chaotic clothing, flirt with pretty people, be depressed over pretty people, get angry for being depressed. rinse, wash, repeat forever; very afraid of Techno because he took an unflattering photo of him and is scared of it being used as blackmail; freelance

Foolish: likes to use gold and green/emeralds. a lot. very inspired by Egyptian clothing; has a little totem charm for luck; freelance

Hair and Makeup artists

Puffy: tends to dote on the interns; hangs around Niki, Sam, and Foolish; has styled hair for both companies before

Karl: works under Mr. Beast but close friends with Quackity and Sapnap who begged Dream put in a good word for him

Photographers

Ponk: when not working, likes to flirt with Sam; always has a lemon in his pocket and won't tell anyone why; freelance

Techno: technically freelance, but works closely with the L'Manberg company; very close to Phil; used to be a designer and clashed with Dream a lot, but he found he liked photography more; this doesn't mean Dream and Techno don't bicker when they see each other, oh no, their conversation is filled with insults

Agents/Managers

Bad: used to work under Dream's parents before Dream took over; more like an assistant for Dream himself rather than a manager, what with all the things Dream asks him to do

Ant: agent for Dream's company

Phil: technically a freelance agent/manager, but works closely with the L'Manberg company; very close to Techno

Technicians

Sam: unofficial head technician; part of Dream's company

Skeppy: manages the camera footage: part of Dream's company

Callahan: doesn't say anything, which is why Dream likes him (jk); fixes problems quickly and silently tho; part of Dream's company

Jack: can normally be seen wearing headphones; somehow is the dad friend and chaotic friend at the same time; part of the L'Manberg company

Interns

Tommy: joined the L'Manberg company because he looks up to the members and their associates (but he won't tell them that)

Tubbo: joined the L'Manberg company to follow Tommy; jokingly starts a new company called Snowchester with Ranboo and a pig plush they named Michael

Ranboo: technically working under the L'Manberg company, but then again, Dream has also offered for Ranboo to work for him... but does he abandon them or give up on an opportunity hmm

Purpled: is he working for money? is he held against his will? who knows: seems to appear and disappear without a trace; intern for Dream's company

Excerpts

George Davidson, more widely known as GeorgeNotFound, is a handsome British model that's been taking the world by storm. A magazine once described him as "you're either in love with him or want to be him", and, quite frankly, it's true.

Clay Craft, also known as Dream. The charming CEO of his parents' company, Smile, and starting up his very own fashion show. Rumor has it that the show will not only feature his own employees, but will also include some showstopping names from L'Manberg, as well as some very talented freelancers.

Wilbur Soot, the leading model and creator of L'Manberg. Though his company may have been started on a whim, no one can say that L'Manberg is unsuccessful, as it quickly rose in popularity, much like the man himself.

Smile is one of the best fashion brands out there, if not the best. With their wide range of products and people, Smile makes sure that every customer leaves with a smile.

"L'manberg?" Dream chuckles. "What a stupid name. L'manchildberg is a much better fit." "At least our brand isn't just a smiley face one of my friends drew on a paper plate." Wil snarks back.

You know, when Schlatt first asked Wilbur to model for him all those years ago, neither knew that their popularity would pick up, Wil would open his own company, and they would catch the eye of Dream himself.

George didn't know what to expect when his agent told him that Dream was interested in having him in his show, but watching one of the most famous designers fall to the floor, dying of laughter over a deez nuts joke was nowhere near what he could've imagined.

Celeb News @/CelebNews L'Manberg technician Jack Manifold leaks that his company will be participating in Dream's fashion show! The question on everybody's mind is: who will be in it? Mack Janifold @/JackManifold NO NO NO I DIDNT LEAK SHIT @/JackManifold https://www.youtube.com/thislinkaintreallmao YOU IDIOT Jack Manifold @/JackManifold OKAY MAYBE I LEAKED SOMETHING Wilbur Soot @/WilburSoot GODDAMNIT JACK

Celeb News @/CelebNews Dream goes in depth about his vision for his show and drops a few names you might recognize! https://www.youtube.com/ihavenoideahowtwitterworks Dream @/designerDream Replying to @/ :)

Celeb News @/CelebNews Has one of the most famous designers cut his fame short? According to an anonymous source, Dream may have hired some of the people on his show for "representation" instead of talent. Technoblade @/Technoblade bruhhh Sapnap @/Sapnap and you know this how? Are you Dream? Didn't think so

Dream @/designerDream None of the people in my show have been chosen for "representation". All of them are very talented and amazing in their own right, and they are more than just their sexuality or their job. Karl Jacobs @/KarlJacobs Replying to @/ am i just a person who does makeup to you D: Antfrost @/Frosty_Ant if i say im straight will i be kicked out of the show Red Velvet @/Velvet_Cake @/Frosty_Ant we were never dating, we're just really close best friends :) Eret @/The_Eret can't believe I got into the famous Dream's fashion show because I like all genders! Puffy @/CapnPuffy lmao same! Niki @/nikinihachu lmao same!

#dream smp #dsmp #model au #au #alternate universe #yes im a writer but i can only write headcanons lmao #or little snippets #dream #modelling #designers #hair and makeup #photographers #this acc was supposed to be for hcs and aus #but i got caught up in lore n shit #whoops ig

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uwuowotf2waslife · 4 years

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I noticed you do NSFW stuff soooo... mercs as bottoms?

good sir this is a bible study...

but i am your pastor and im here to serve

Pillowprincess with psychological issues & guns

Scout: this boy is a brat , nuff said. He might act all tough, try to look like he is some kind of sex God, but once hes on the bed, french kissing his S/O and trying to get the game starting,subtly hell try to make his S/O to start it. ( Maybe because he is a big simp) Because something makes his dick throb when the S/O takes the initiave/is the top.He will mewl for you to touch him and he will try to humo the air if you have tied him up and edge him even the slightest. He claws when hes overstimulated and he will beg for dear life for you just to give him a handie

Soldier: ( ngl you should have some big intense dominatrix vibes to make this american daddy a sub) ultimate sub, will become your own personal slave. This man has an extreme pain tolerance but spanking gets him goinglike nothing. Won’tbeg but he will do anything you put him to do, wannabe human furniture just to prove he has that strenght

Engie: oof thats weird for him .He isnt against bottoming, but that is making him to question his masculinity, ngl he is sensitive because hes a shortie ( my man you aint a shortie, you are a short king). Begs likes theres no tommorow and becomes a writhing mess if you use one of his toys on him, loves orgasm torture and will moan if you rim him.

Demo: down for it, ngl. My mans likes trying new things. He would become a flustered mess if you have a remote vibrator and you edge him on hours while his on a public place. Down for nastier stuff and will get a raging chubby if you step on him with heels

Heavy: lowkey would like to try it, imagining tiny S/O dominating this russian man of steel makes his big fella up and leaking. Kinda into feederism ( this man can eat a fucking bear and have room for seconds and dessert) loves to be tied up and fed and then fucked like an animal.

Medic: my boy, my boy he is up and ready for action. He has a very high stamina and drive, so you have to be a very intense dom orhell get bored reall quick. A big fan of medical torture and CBT, but he has a secret tickling kink and will turn into muss if you tie him up really tight and tickle his ribs/feet.

Sniper: this boy has the most intense bonner he has had in a while. Big fan of watersports, he will lick you and drink your champagne like theres no tommorow. He has a very sensitive prostate and will cum gallons if you finger/peg him, but he won’t sub that often, he likes to leave it as a rare treat.

Spy: cuck alert, cuck alert.He is nasty and he aint ashamed of it. If you are comfortable with it, you can have one nightstands and get at it while hes cloacked in the corner with a really tight cockring or hes tied in a chair and he is forced to clean you after the guy has finished or he has to blow the guy. Loves to be pegged and is down to dress up as a french maid so you can have some top quality roleplay. The baclava stays on tho

#tf2 x reader #tf2 imagines #not selling fresh watermelons #lemmyface

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supermiraculousladybug · 4 years

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The Disturbing Dark Truth about Cat Noir (Theory).

Hello my name is well it doesn't matter what my name is but what matters is this dark disturbing truth behind our favorite kitten, Cat Noir and what is he really behind all the jokes/puns/flirt but mostly what person inspired Thomas Astruc to create Cat Noir.

Cat Noir is actually inspired by a little boy Thomas Astruc knew since childhood. His name is Anthony Cheung-Fernández, son of Wang Lei-Zhang Wei Huáng-Cheung, a Chinese American biker gang member and Catalina-Juana "CJ" Luciana Fernández-Hernández, an underage Mexican-Latina prostitute/stripper but i'm not gonna get into his childhood even despite he's an inspiration for Cat Noir. Behind his jokes , puns and flirtatious motivations, I think it's possible Cat Noir is an abused mentally unstable boy with special needs and so we only see the imagined world and events through his eyes because he's coping with the harsh and cruel reality of the world he's born into.

Cat Noir is a crack baby because his mom smoked all lot of crack cocaine while she was carrying him in her womb and it causes Cat Noir mental and psychological damage for life but he even has tremors from arms and legs to whole body because he's so severely damaged by crack cocaine and since he's severely uncontrolled shaky, you might mistaken Cat Noir's uncontrollable tremors for being cold and having seizures but often he has high-pitched screaming and high-pitched crying which he's often mistakenly thought to be a girl by others and his instabilities are also the results of being a crack baby.

What Cat Noir's classmates didn't know, is the frequent abuse and neglect Cat Noir has endured and suffered at home. Cat Noir is a special needs child who suffer from abuse , neglect and bullying but this traumatic experiences has left poor Cat Noir traumatized , easily scared , shy , nervous , easily startled , shaking-in-fear and easily fearful or easily frightened of others. A bunch of mean kids and bullies would called Cat Noir "stupid" , "dummy" , "idiot" , "retard" , "dumbass" and "dimwitted" since they knew Cat Noir has Autism , Down Syndrome , Mental Retardation and Hydrocephalus, they believe he's too stupid to be in school and having low-intelligence means he can't learn.

Due to Cat Noir having Autism and Down Syndrome it can be hard for him to keep up with other kids because he learns things slowly than others and it's no wonder he's put into a Special Education classes. Cat Noir was born with Down Syndrome due to his younger mother's age and older father's age but some children with Down syndrome (like Cat Noir) are born to women under age 35 because younger women have far more babies.

But if we only see the imagined world and events through his eyes wouldn't that means it's nothing but Cat Noir's imaginations we only saw on the show but if that's the case then how come we don't see the reality outside of his eyes, could it be that outside of his eyes, it's full of neglect , abuse , torture , lies , bullying and harassment that he turned to his imaginations , puns and jokes as a coping mechanism to escape from it. So we're gonna analyzed his relationship with other people and compared to the canon relationship he supposedly has.

Ladybug.

She is a friend of Cat Noir but also the closes he has but is she really a good friend to Cat Noir? In the show, Ladybug is shown to be verbally abusive and physically abusive towards Cat Noir in almost various episodes from Bubbler , Origins Part 1 , Stormy Weather and Sliencer, she uses her yoyo to hit Cat Noir with but surprisingly she never regretted but kept on doing it. Ladybug knew about Cat Noir's condition but instead of sympathizing with him and supporting/getting him help, she chose to convinced him his imaginations is real and everything he believes is reality but that's reason why Cat Noir depicted Ladybug as a stubborn , easily annoyed and bad-tempered person who's so quickly to get angry but this is the tip of the iceberg because Ladybug is not just verbally abusive and physically abusive, she's also sexually abusive towards Cat Noir. Ladybug would take advantage of Cat Noir by raping him but she usually would forced herself on Cat Noir and grabbed his penis and put it into her vagina even though despite Cat Noir not being ready for a proportional relationship, she's willing to do whatever she wants with him even if it means it the cost of their friendship, it also explains why Ladybug flirts with Cat Noir because Cat Noir knew about Ladybug being sexually abusive and sexually active. Ladybug has been doing this since the age of 12 while Cat Noir was 11 but ever since then she's been doing sexual activities with Cat Noir due to her seeing Cat Noir as a sex toy to play and have "fun" with, due it's no wonder throughout the series Cat Noir is never started dating because of the history of being sexually abused. Ladybug has Black hair with Blue reflections and Baby blue eyes but has a slim body, her middle name is Marietta although is a similar name to Cat Noir's elder half sister, Marietta "Marie" Kyle.

Marinette.

Marinette Dupain-Cheng is a teenage Eurasian girl who is close friends with Cat Noir, she's 2 months older than Cat Noir (Marinette was born on July 22, 2001 and Cat Noir was born on September 25, 2001) and she's been mistaken for Ladybug and Marietta by Cat Noir because she looks like them.

Marinette has 2 older half sisters, Bridgette Cheng and Charlotte Dupain, who were born from their parents 1st marriage which it makes Marinette born from 2nd marriage. Her parents are Tom Dupain, an Italian-French baker who love his Bakery and his daughters including his stepdaughter and Sabine Cheng, a Chinese immigrant who moved from China to Paris with her daughter to give her a better life and loves her daughters including her stepdaughter.

Marinette has a mixture of Black and Blue hair with Bluebell eyes but she's always mistaken to be Ladybug or Marietta by Cat Noir very often because to Cat Noir, Ladybug and Marinette looked the same but also it's due to how Marinette and Marietta look very similar because of their names and hair colors.

Much like Cat Noir, Marinette has been bullied by Chloé Bourgeois, one of the most popular girls in Françoise Dupont High School but unlike Cat Noir, Marinette had been bullied by Chloé since Kindergarten. Although due to being bullied at school, Marinette became insecure about herself and is scared of Chloé since then.

Marinette has ADHD , Dyslexia , Dyscalculia and Dyspraxia or "Clumsy Child Syndrome" which it explains about her clumsiness and reading difficulties but she's not alone as Cat Noir had learning disabilities himself so he knew how Marinette feels when it comes to being different from other kids. When Marinette said "But all the teachers say I don't sound natural when I read" meaning all teachers are aware of Marinette's reading difficulty and Cat Noir did a good job of depicting Marinette as a "clumsy girl with reading problems" since he knew her so too well. Despite Marinette being clumsy in front of Cat Noir, he's still doesn't understand her condition even tho he has learned about it before.

Marinette does have a close bond with Cat Noir as they're best friends and their friendship is stronger but they can very protective of each other at times because for Marinette, she knew Cat Noir has Autism and is very vulnerable to getting hurt easily and getting attacked by bullies and mean kids but for Cat Noir, it's due to his feline instincts of being protective of their owners, since Marinette is the closest to an "owner" Cat Noir actually has.

Marinette have sleepover with her friends and Cat Noir but mostly it's with Cat Noir because he's the only boy who's interested in girl stuff like makeups , dresses and skirts.

Marinette is aware of Cat Noir's instabilities and knows he's not given any help but she's able to give Cat Noir support. Marinette knew Cat Noir has long-term tremors since he's a crack baby and knows he has a hard time controlling his body movement. Marinette does frequently often visits Cat Noir in Mrs. Caroline's Class, a Special Education Class where Cat Noir goes in because of his learning disabilities and it was thought that because of Marinette's reading and learning disability, she would be in Mrs. Caroline's Special Ed class but instead she's currently in Mrs. Bustier's class.

Chloé Bourgeois.

Chloé is the most popular girl in Françoise Dupont High School and is the head cheer captain of a cheerleading squad.

She is the daughter of the Mayor of Paris and Queen of Fashion magazines and owner of a fashion company. Chloé is spoiled rotten by her father and verbally and emotionally abused by her mother.

Chloé knew Cat Noir before preschool and it was when his mother worked as a maid for The Bourgeois family but unfortunately she saw Cat Noir's mom sleeping with her father and Audrey was so angry at Cat Noir's mother that she wanted her fired but however André kept her on. Due to this it causes Chloé to take her anger and frustration out on Cat Noir by bullying him for being the "son of a hooker" but most importantly it explains why in fanfiction stories, Chloé mistreated Cat Noir. Chloé has always bullied and making fun of Cat Noir for coming from a very poor family , living in a shack to living in a 1960s motorhome , wearing baggy outfits , not being as rich as her , not being as popular as her , not being as smart as her , being dirty , being weak , being a mama's boy , not being muscular like other boys and not having masculinity like other boys. But however Chloé can go too far whenever she bullies Cat Noir, like she's been beaten him up causing Cat Noir's injuries to be more visible and bleeding.

His mother.

Cat Noir's mother is Selina Kyle, an alcoholic , drug addict and smoker young mother who gave birth to 8 children from 7 different fathers. She became a mother at a young age and she's an mentally unstable person who barely could take care of her children. She went from having multiple boyfriends to having multiple girlfriends. All of her children look more like their fathers than their mother. She bears a passion hatred towards man because she was physically abused by her father when she was a child. Her mother committed suicide when she was little and since she's the only one who looks like her mother, it's no wonder her father abuses her physically.

She had Cat Noir at 17 from a father she hardly knew and the baby daddy was 38 when Cat Noir was born. Since the baby daddy was arrested for supposedly "gang raping a minor", not only he'll never meet his baby but she'll have to raised Cat Noir on her own. She was so unstable both mentally and physically, she abused and neglected Cat Noir often 24/7 but she did leave him in a neglected state. She left her children in the care of her boyfriend but her boyfriend wanted nothing to do with Cat Noir and so as a result, he locked Cat Noir in the room for an hour or days or even a month/years whenever he has to deal with Cat Noir.

Selina abuse drugs and alcohol when she was a kid but due to this, the drugs completely fried her brain and gave her permanent brain damage but the alcohol cause her brain damage to worsen, she had memory loss. Thanks to the drugs it caused her to be unstable both mentally and physically, she went to a rehabilitation facilities for drug addicts and alcoholics like herself but she went from going to rehab often to now staying there until she's drug-free and alcohol-free because of her history of drug usage and overdosing on them but surprisingly surviving it, due to this she became absent in not only her kids but Cat Noir's life as well and she also became very sickly , extremely tired , supposedly weight gaining and severely skinny.

Rose Lavillant.

Rose Lavillant is one of Marinette's closest friends and the most nicest person Cat Noir has ever met. Rose is lead singer of a rock band, Kitty Section and Kitty Section band is a hybrid of a cat and unicorn but Cat Noir likes to call Kitty Section "Unikitty" since it is a combination after all. Rose loves unicorns which it's why Cat Noir sees her as a playmate and is depicted as sweet , kind and playful according to Cat Noir at least. Princess Twinkle Peach is Rose's favorite plush unicorn although Cat Noir finds Princess Twinkle Peach interesting because of her designs but again with his schizophrenic condition, he thought Princess Twinkle Peach can talk to him and move on her own.

She likes to sit on a soft pink cushion seat so it smoothed Cat Noir.

Lila Rossi.

Lila is the most popular girl in Françoise Dupont High School, she's from Italy and back in Italy, she used to bully a girl for no reasons. Lila is the biggest slut in school.

When Lila was at school in Italy, she used to sleep with popular guys for popularity. Lila most likely slept with Cat Noir because she knew he's the most vulnerable child and would get easily taken advantage of but Lila always raped Cat Noir which it causes her exposure in the first place and she barely took advantage of Cat Noir.

Much like Cat Noir, Lila grew up without a father in her life and is only raised by her mother but unlike Cat Noir, Lila lies about her home life , parents , why she's not in school , why she had bad grades , where she's at , why she's late , why she's failing and why she's tired.

Last but not least Cat Noir (even though he doesn't count as a relationship).

Cat Noir was born premature and as an accident on September 25, 2001 to an underage prostitute and a grown biker gang member. When he was born, he was in a incubator in the NICU room. He was an unexpected , unplanned and unwanted child because he has his dad's looks such as blonde hair , green eyes and orange-tinted skin.

Cat Noir has Autism , Mental Retardation , Severe Schizophrenia , Down Syndrome , Bilateral Complete Cleft Lip and Palate , Congenital Heart Defect , Fetal Alcohol Syndrome , Alcohol-Related Birth Defect and Hydrocephalus but he has 3 types of Autism, Low-functioning Autism , Asperger's Syndrome and Severe Autism or Level 3 Autism. Due to his condition, he even has a learning disability as a result from his Autism , Down Syndrome , Mental Retardation and Hydrocephalus. Cat Noir even has a stunted growth as a result of his mom's alcoholism and it's no wonder he's short and looks younger for his age.

Cat Noir comes from a very poor family and lives from a shack to a 1960s motorhome. He's the 7th child of 8 children and each of Cat Noir's siblings have different fathers but they all have the same mother, Cat Noir is the oldest male in the household full of girls but his mom only wanted daughters so by the time Cat Noir was born, she's disappointed her baby is male and blamed the father for giving her a son instead of a daughter.

Cat Noir's mother was only 17 years old when she gave birth to Cat Noir although he was brought into the world irresponsibly by his mother because of her drug addictions and results due to 5 times of broken condoms. Cat Noir was raised by his absent on-and-off again mother and his mom often neglected Cat Noir 24/7 but she left him in a care of someone else except they neglected and abused Cat Noir too because he resembled his mother.

Cat Noir was often abused and neglected by his babysitters and other caretakers. What's even more messed up is the fact that he's a special needs child since he's autistic and have down syndrome but one of his babysitters would leave him in filth and one of his caretakers would beat him if he make noises.

Cat Noir transfer to Françoise Dupont High School at age 11+1/2 years old when he was in the 7th grade due to frequent bullying , abuse and neglect at a previous school, he's in a special ed class. The first person he met was Marinette Dupain-Cheng who was 12 years old at the time and since then he became inseparable towards Marinette due to her kindness , good nature , sweet tendencies and being nice to him.

Cat Noir sees Marinette as a mother figure and often calls her "mommy" but he likes to cuddle with Marinette and rub his face on Marinette to his affection towards her. Marinette knows Cat Noir has Autism and Down Syndrome thus she's patient and gentle with Cat Noir. Marinette taught Cat Noir how to walk and talk at 13 years old despite what everyone told her she can't teach Cat Noir speech.

Cat Noir has a developmental delay and due to this, he can't meet his milestones like dressing up on his own , feeding himself , cleaning himself , tying his own shoelaces , brushing his hair , brushing his teeth , taking a bath on his own and toilet training.

The before and after Aftermath of abuse and neglect.

Cat Noir was placed in the care of his mother's boyfriend but sadly he was further abused by his mom's boyfriend and neglected by him, he was even locked in his room 24/7, due to this isolation and neglect, Cat Noir's only companion was his stuff animals and his schizophrenic state is worsen but he believes his stuff animals could talk to him and move by themselves but it however freaks out other people because "what kind of kid believes his stuffed animals would talk and moving on its own" but he supposedly is always talking gibberish to "someone" else when actually he's talking to himself.

Cat Noir was born premature and as an accident due to a broken condom. He has Autism , Mental Retardation , Severe Schizophrenia , Down Syndrome , Bilateral Complete Cleft Lip and Palate , Congenital Heart Defect , Fetal Alcohol Syndrome , Alcohol-Related Birth Defect and Hydrocephalus but his Severe Schizophrenia , Bilateral Complete Cleft Lip and Palate , Congenital Heart Defect , Fetal Alcohol Syndrome and Alcohol-Related Birth Defect. His Autism , Mental Retardation and Down Syndrome were due to his mom's age being 17 and his dad's age being 38 but most importantly he has Hydrocephalus because of unknown reasons but what if it's actually due to his older father and young mother then it makes sense.

Does Lila really hate Ladybug for embarrassing her in front of the boy she liked or Is it actually in the mind of Cat Noir thinking that's what it is?

Ever wondered why Lila hated Ladybug with a passion, you may think it's because of Ladybug embarrassing Lila in front of Adrien but it's actually not true in fact it's nothing but in Cat Noir's mind, Cat Noir thinks this is why Lila hated Ladybug but in reality it's because Ladybug exposing Lila on how much of a skank oh she is because that bitch sleeps with every guy at school for popularity but however Cat Noir was unaware of Lila being a slut. In Volpina, Lila lies to Adrien about being a descendant of a fox-themed heroine, Volpina but after Ladybug humiliates her in front of Adrien Agreste by exposing her lies about the both of them being close friends and her owning the Fox Miraculous, she hated Ladybug ever since then, however this is not what happened, what actually happen in Volpina is Lila slept with Cat Noir for fame and popularity even despite Cat Noir being the school's outcast and misfit but it didn't matter to her she can sleep with any guy at school. Not only did Lila slept with Cat Noir but she also raped him, Lila knew Cat Noir has a history of being sexually assaulted and is the most vulnerable child but sadly she kept on touching him inappropriately. Ladybug later saw Lila taking advantage of Cat Noir and exposes her as "a bitch who sleeps with every special needs guy at school for personal game , stardom and being well-liked or well-known" since then everyone at school knew Lila is a hoe and loves to sleep with guys with special needs at school for stardom and popularity so that day she hated Ladybug since then.

Is Marinette a normal girl or did Cat Noir sees her as one?

In the theme song it said "In the daytime, I'm Marinette, Just a normal girl with a normal life. But there's something about me that no one knows yet, Cause I have a secret." You heard it "just a normal girl" now the question Is Marinette really normal? Cat Noir depicted Marinette as a shy and clumsy girl who's nice to everyone but Cat Noir knew Marinette doesn't sound natural when she reads so in reality it's due to her Dyslexia and Dyscalculia.

Why does Cat Noir wear a mask?

Cat Noir is known to wear a mask but ever wondered why he wore a mask?, you would think it's because he's hiding his secret identity from others but I think it's because he's hiding a large burn scar on the left side of his face because his mom accidentally spills hot boiling water onto the left side of Cat Noir's face causing the scar to be badly burned and permanent when Cat Noir was younger, as a result of this incident, Cat Noir wore his famous iconic mask to covered the burn scar.

From aftermath of abuse and neglect to foster care.

Since before the age of 13, Cat Noir was frequently abused and neglected by his mother's on-and-off again ex-boyfriend who beats Cat Noir 24/7 whenever he has to deal with Cat Noir and never likes to care of/babysat Cat Noir whenever Cat Noir's mom goes out for work , with one of her multiple boyfriends , to a bar , to the movies with her friends , shopping and going to jail for crimes but most importantly she's currently in a rehabilitation center so this means her ex-boyfriend has to take care of Cat Noir fulltime but he doesn't want to so he locked Cat Noir in his room 24/7 so didn't want to deal with Cat Noir. Everyone started noticing different about Cat Noir, he was severely malnourished , has bruised fingers , bruised toes , black-eye , broken nose , bruised lips , badly bitten arms , badly bitten legs , swollen arms , swollen legs , swollen gums , badly bitten ears , badly bitten fingers , badly bitten toes , knocked-out teeth , scraped knees , scraped elbows , slapped cheeks , bruised bottom and bruised-up back but worse of all, Cat Noir even had a bruised forehead and the fact Cat Noir is a special needs child, is still shocking.

Not long after Cat Noir turns 13 years old, the abuse and neglect became far more worst until one of the school's Child Psychologists took notice of Cat Noir's wounds and find out he's been frequently terribly abused and neglected by his mom's on-and-off again ex-boyfriend since the age of 8. The Child Psychologists decide to contacted the polices and social services to come and take Cat Noir away from the home. Cat Noir was taken to hospital and one of doctors found out Cat Noir is actually 13 with the body of an 11-year-old child but they even find out Cat Noir has a small severely damaged brain.

Cat Noir's Severe Schizophrenia is already worsen up due to again being a crack baby. He believes his imaginations are a reality because of how much he's been convinced too often. Cat Noir hear voices in his head and see things that aren't there but he often talks to himself despite thinking he's talking someone else.

First foster home.

After Cat Noir's mom's ex-boyfriend was arrested for child abuse and child neglect, Cat Noir was placed in Child's Care Services (CCS) because his mother is too unstable to care for him but however Cat Noir is badly affected by the abuse and neglect he suffers for so long that he didn't want to be touched and he has a shock look on his face whenever he break things he didn't mean to which it explains why in the episode, Simon Says, Cat Noir gave a shock look after scolding at Gabriel because in reality he thought he's going to get beaten. Originally Cat Noir was gonna be placed in one of his relative's house but his social worker didn't know how to get in contact with them and he was originally going to be placed in the care of his dad but no one knows where he's currently lives and he has permanent record so he can't be around kids not even his own child.

Cat Noir's social worker decide to put Cat Noir into foster care since there's no one who can take him in. Cat Noir's 1st foster home was bad because his foster parents frequently abused and neglected him but bad enough, the only reason why they take Cat Noir in because they're only doing this for money so they can spend it on and rottenly spoiled their biological kids. His foster mom did the worst things to Cat Noir, such as locking him in his room , refusing Cat Noir to have any contact with anyone and her biological children , refusing to feed Cat Noir , refusing to clothed Cat Noir , leaving Cat Noir in a filthy state , strapping Cat Noir to a potty chair in the daytime , putting Cat Noir into a straitjacket and locking him in a cage-like crib in the daytime and letting her kids bullied Cat Noir 24/7. One day his social worker notice Cat Noir in a terrible state and deciding removed Cat Noir from this terrible house.

From Second foster home to 11th foster home.

Cat Noir had to be moved from foster home to another foster home due frequent abuse and neglect happening but it's like to Cat Noir, no matter where he goes he'll always get abused and neglected. His second and 11th foster home was so bad that he had to be removed again and be placed in a new home but he's always getting bruises all over him as if his previous foster parents don't care about him and only seems to be interested in financials than caring for their foster child. But however it did take 2 weeks for the social workers to placed Cat Noir in a new home and it's always gonna turned bad, no matter what home Cat Noir was placed in and good thing the social workers decide to removed Cat Noir from a terrible home.

12th and Final foster home.

Not long after Cat Noir was removed from his 11th foster home, his social worker almost decide to give up trying to find a good place for Cat Noir to call home and a family to belong to but one of the employees told Cat Noir's social worker that there's one more chance of finding a good home for Cat Noir. Cat Noir's social worker found a home to placed Cat Noir in, The Jackson Family, they have a stable home , love , affection , enough food and care but most importantly at least it's safe place for Cat Noir to call home. He was so malnourished that he became hungry often despite he just ate.

Adoption

Not long after months of Cat Noir being placed in the care of The Jackson family, Christine Jackson, Cat Noir's foster mom decide to adopted Cat Noir and her husband, Harold Jackson, Cat Noir's foster dad agreed to this since they are parental figures to Cat Noir but at first when Cat Noir was placed in their care it was difficult for them to care for a child with special needs but they didn't give up on him and kept providing love and affection towards Cat Noir. Cat Noir was 13 when he was placed in the care of Christine Jackson and Harold Jackson but at first Christine thought Cat Noir was 11, only to find out he's actually 13 and this causes her to take Cat Noir to the hospital but that's when she find out everything about Cat Noir. 3 months later, Christine and Harold officially adopted 13-year-old Cat Noir but they continue to take care of him.

I hope you love this theory.

#chat noir #cat noir #chaton #childhoodruined

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rye-views · 5 years

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Parasite (2019) dir. Bong Joon-ho. 기생충 (2019) dir. 봉준호. 7.6/10

I honestly don’t see how this is SO popular. It is very good, but the hype made me expect even BETTER. I thought it might be a cultural divide, but koreans love it too, but do these koreans know films? Am i just believing in the hype too much? I just don’t get it. Just like how idk how BTS became the first korean boy band to make it this big. I just don’t get it because I am expecting more.

The aesthetic nice tho. I like how the basement entrance looks like a void.

I honestly only liked the Park mom and the Kim daughter.

I want to know what ultimately happened to the Parks after.

Spoiler: [About the rich park family and the poor Kim family. A student tutor for the Park family gives his job to his friend in the Kim family. He gets hired without having the proper credentials, but the recommendation is good enough. He tutors the daughter of the Park family. Then he convinces them to hire his sister, who claims to be his cousin’s classmate in art in the US. She ends up providing art therapy to the Parks’s son. They end up getting the Park family driver fired by making it seem like he has sex in his boss’s car and they end up getting their dad hired. They then get the maid fired by giving her a peach allergy but making it seem like TB. They then get the mom hired. They then take over the home when the Parks go off on a trip. The old maid comes back saying she forgot something. She reveals a hidden underground basement with her husband living in there. They ask for their discretion, but the Kims don’t agree and threaten to call the police. They then get revealed and caught on the maid’s camera that they are all related and conning the Parks. They fight and the maid gets a concussion and ends up dying. It rains and the Kim family’s home floods. The Parks comes back and hold a party. The man hiding in the basement escapes and attempts to kill all of the Kims during the party. The Kim father kills the Park dad when he makes a face that shows his disgust at the scent of poor people. The kim mom ends up killing the man after he killed the kim daughter. The dad escapes police detection by hiding in the basement. The house gets sold off to Americans. The Kim son then makes it his duty to buy the house so that he can save his father.]

#parasite #bong joon ho #bong joon-ho #joon ho bong #joon-ho bong #기생충 #봉준호 #2019 #7.6 #movie #film #review #commentary #korean #kmovie #rye-views

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simptasia · 4 years

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ultimate ship meme ask <3 for science trio!

ah, thank you! i’m so sorry it took me this long to respond, i didn’t mean for 2 bloody weeks to pass. i kept procrastinating or being too tired

daniel + charlotte + miles

General:

How long will they last?

eternity and then some

How quickly did/will they fall in love?

daniel @ charlotte, i’m thinking like a week or so. kinda hit him like a bullet

charlotte @ daniel, two or three weeks

daniel @ miles, somewhere from a couple of months to a year

charlotte @ miles, in living timeline didn’t happen, in limboverse, i’ll give her 3 months. and she loved him as a friend already anyways. i imagine it’s her who brings miles into the fold, allowing the sci trio to be fully realised

miles @ daniel and charlotte, oh Fuck Knows. it happens, but [shrugs]. and i like the idea that miles didn’t realise he was in love with daniel and charlotte (and sawyer and juliet) until waaay after their time together. like he falls in love with richard and then The Power Of Hindsight kinda fucks him over

(and for anybody who gets snippy saying that “a couple of weeks is too quick to fall in love!” or some shit: my bf fell in love with me in 2 weeks, and for me it took a month. so nyeh. also hurley/libby, sayid/shannon and charlie/claire)

How was their first kiss?

all of these take place in limboverse

daniel/charlotte: so i imagine this happens like right after they Remember, so emotions are running high and char is like “i’m gonna do something i should have done when we were alive” and just sorta grabs dan’s face and <3

and dan is stunned for a second and then sinks into it. you know that lovely trope of somebody being kissed and their eyes are open and then they practically melt closed from the kissy feelings. and they’re soulmates and this has been a long time coming and i feel cliche but uh, fireworks

daniel/miles: so the three of them have started Their Thing and like, they’re in a sexual relationship now but because char started this, dan is unsure about like, do him and miles do... stuff... together too? is that a thing? they were all touching each other during The Event. plus dan isn’t exactly sure how he feels about miles, but he’s been slowly getting more attracted to him over time. and also dan’s never been with a guy before. so yeah dan is overthinking things and meanwhile, miles is like “if he’s up for it, i’m down” but keeping his distance because like, it’s dan and he doesn’t know if dan is into him

that was a long build up to say, eventually the dan/miles side of the triangle does get figured out and after a moment of awkwardness dan kisses miles, tentative at first and then That Spark happens and they both get into it. at one moment miles pulls back just a bit and dan deliriously like... chases his mouth. because it turns out kissing miles is awesome. and miles notes dan’s a good kisser too, and dan isn’t even offended at the surprised in miles’ tone.

so in short, dan and miles’ first kiss went on for longer than miles expected because dan got tingly soup brain

also in both of dan’s first kisses with these two he kept his hands to himself outta 1. not thinking clearly because Mouth Things and 2. awkwardness. both char and miles had to grab dan’s hands and place them upon themselves, to remind him, you have these, please use them (there’s a line i give char: “i think you’d find i have many lovely things below my shoulders, dan”). from then on, dan is Characteristically Handsy. annnnyways!

charlotte/miles: it was very shortly after they met actually. pierre introduced them at the museum and there was attraction yes, but also this spark which they both wordlessly acknowledge. when pierre has left (just to get coffee hjjdhasa), they talk for a bit and then casually agree to go somewhere private. a coat check room. they got hit with familiarity and both of them being the type of people who have casual sex that information translated into “i’m gonna fuck this person now”

so basically their first kiss was messy, frantic, impulsive, clothes quickly being taken off, etc etc. thats how their friends with benefits thing started, even before they were friends, really. this was years ago and they became besties

Wedding:

in this set-up, it’d be dan and char getting married

Who proposed?

dan, technically but it wasn’t a surprise. marriage was something both of them discussed for a while before and char was the one who brought it up

(and here is where she jokes “you know what my mum would say about me marrying an american” and daniel gets an Awful Feeling from that)

Who is the best man/men?

well, miles, of course. richard is also one of the groomsman <3

Who is the braid’s maid(s)?

Why Weren’t You Allowed To Have Lady Friends

and besides that, most of the available women in lost have Moved On

annnnd i just remembered char has two sisters. chelsea and chloe

Who did the most planning?

char. it’s not that dan doesn’t care, it’s just she just has more preferences. patterns and colours and things like that. but they all pitch in at least a little

tho miles is the least help. at one point char holds up two swatches for bridesmaids dresses and asks which one he likes more (she’ll decide herself, she just wants Interaction, for her nerves) and miles doesn’t look up from his magazine and says “the left one”. char is annoyed and he says “whichever one is closest to purple”. they’re each a shade of green and blue

Who stressed the most?

oh, char. she never thought she’d get married so she’s never really emotionally prepared herself for it. or for planning a event like this. she isn’t paitent with people she doesn’t already like so dealing with wedding business people has been a task. and just. marriage isn’t stressful, weddings are. which is why dan is gonna be a good boy and absolutely help. and miles is also helping...

char: and how exactly have you been helping??

miles: [serious tone] i’m the plucky comic relief

char: [death glare]

miles: ...i’ll go pick up the flowers

- later -

daniel: heeey miles, you know how you and charlotte like to playfully snipe at each other? ...you can’t do that right now, she’s kinda stressed

miles: [wheeling in dozens of lillies] yeah, i figured that

char, from the other room: WHY ARE CAKES SO FUCKING EXPENSIVE

How fancy was the ceremony?

Back of a pickup truck | 2 | 3 | 4 | Normal Church Wedding | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | Kate and William wish they were this big.

i’ll give this a 7 outta 10 on the “ooh aah” scale. oh yeah they could absolutely afford a huge fuck off wedding but they didn’t want one. also another reason they didn’t have a Huge Wedding is that dan, char and miles legit don’t know enough people i always picture their wedding happens in like a park. a nice one. and there’s a real prevalant flower motif happening here. arch covered in flowers, petals on the ground, lotsa white lillies about. there’s a real English Garden / cottage aesthetic vibe to this. char’s got a flower in her hair and i just decided her wedding dress has like cloth white flowers on it, not all over it. so like, the whole thing is cute and elegant and flowery and more expensive than it looks. the main colours being used are white, light blue and lilac

oh oh, the cake is chocolate on the inside! and it’s white (duh) but with lilac flower trim around each layer. char never planned for a wedding before but once she adjusted to the idea she was like “this is gonna be really really pretty”

Who was specifically not invited to the wedding?

eloise. no explanation needed

Sex:

Who is on top?

well, everybody who can be, has been. char has defo given dan and miles the strap. the least toppage going on is dan topping miles. very rarely happens

Who is the one to instigate things?

well, char is the Most instigate-y and dan is the least instigate-y, with miles in the middle. and damn if that doesn’t sum up their dynamic

How healthy is their sex life?

Barely touch themselves let alone each other | 2 | 3 | 4 | Once a couple weeks, nothing overboard | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | They are humping each other on the couch right now

gonna give them all, overall, a reasonable eight. it happens a Lot, but it’s not a crazy amount. (except when dan and char are trying for a baby, then dan is... dan is... lovingly tenderized)

there’s diff variables (heh) at play here, but for the most part theres quite a bit of sex going all around. so yeah, their neighbours don’t like them very much, because char is Really Really Loud and easily satisfied

How kinky are they?

Straight missionary with the lights off | 2 | 3 | 4 | Might try some butt stuff and toys | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | Don’t go into the sex dungeon without a horse’s head

that 8 is via the power of char and miles’ kinky tastes

dan is decidedly more vanilla but willing to try new things. and he’s got some latent kinks/fetishes hiding in him that these two bring out of him

i’ve gone into this many times but basically char is into being dominating, miles loves pain and as far as dan’s brain is concerned, Charlotte Is A Fetish

there’s more going on than that, but i’m being succint

How long do they normally last?

miles doesn’t last notably long, or notably short. but he seems like a real stayer in comparison to dan and charlotte. char comes quickly and repeatedly

dan, oh dan, he’s not. he’s not lasting long. this is not bad thing. he was worried about it at first but char is a-okay with this. she wuvs her boy. and besides, he has pretty good recovery. so second round if the first round was like a bit “oh”

dan is sensitive (and autistic!), sex is a Lot for him. anyways miles has defo joked about these two cumming at the drop of a hate. another reason the neighbours are annoyed, Please Go To Sleep Charlotte (nyet)

Do they make sure each person gets an equal amount of orgasms?

nobody here is unsatisified

How rough are they in bed? -

Softer than a butterfly on the back of a bunny | 2 | 3 | 4 | The bed’s shaking and squeaking every time | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | Their dirty talk is so vulgar it’d make Dwayne Johnson blush. Also, the wall’s so weak it could collapse the next time they do it

on this scale, i’m giving dan/char a 2 to 4, char/miles a 5 to 10 and dan/miles a 3 to 6. and all together oh... anything could happen

the general “rule” is Take It Easy On Dan, He’s Delicate

How much cuddling/snuggling do they do?

No touching after sex | 2 | 3 | 4 | A little spooning at night, or on the couch, but not in public | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | They snuggle and kiss more often than a teen couple on their fifth date to a pillow factory

so much. so much cuddle snuggle uwuwuwuwu no no get back here miles you cannot escape, come back here and be loved

dan is a major cuddler, very tactile, char is pretty affectionate. miles used to be “meh” on affection but he’s warm to it these three cuddling in bed lives rent free in my head 24/7

Children:

How many children will they have naturally?

i’ve given dan and char 4 kids (three girls and a boy). penny, ada, marie and isaac. i’ve made charts about this

hypothetically, like in sims, i’ve given char and miles a daughter but i’m not commited to that idea, like i don’t have that in my Internal Canon

but he’s their papa too, emotionally <3

How many children will they adopt?

none, unless you count rats

Who gets stuck with the most diapers?

dan’s job requires the least Work, so he’s at home more often, so yeah

Who is the stricter parent?

char, but she’s not strict strict, this is just in comparison to daniel “but i can’t say mean things to my babies” faraday and miles “wanna learn how to shoplift?” straume. she’s not a Mean Nagging Mum stereotype tho, i won’t allow it

Who stops the kid(s) from doing dangerous stunts after school?

dan and char are Equally “you can’t be doing stuff like this, it’s not safe” whilst miles is lowkey encouraging it. but after a stern look he has to admit riding a scooter on the school roof is kinda fucked up. like miles is... miles but he doesn’t want his babies like actually hurt, he’s still a good dad

Who remembers to pack the lunch(es)?

dan dan the photographic memory man

Who is more likely to attend the PTA meetings?

char, because i think that’d be really funny. and i want all of them to go to at least one meeting together, because they heard some bitch refer to their daughter marie as “that weird child” and that she warned her children to keep away from dan, char and miles kids. and also she refered to dan, char and miles as “deviants” cuz she feels kids shouldn’t have three parents

soooo char is going to publicly cut her down. verbally and viciously. dan and miles are also angery but they’re there to make sure char doesn’t actually physically beat this woman. and also this final caveat:

miles: [eating a sad looking muffin] and your muffins suck too

Who cried the most at graduation?

char but dan and miles are crying too

Who is more likely to bail the child(ren) out of trouble with the law?

MILES IS A COP!!! and it’s never felt so good until the moment ada got busted for drinking at a party when she was only 17. oh miles isn’t that abusing your authority? “yeah but every cop does that, i may as well do it for my kid”

yeah, that crime is the worst thing i could think of for this, i don’t think these people’s kids would do like actual bad crimes

Cooking:

Who does the most cooking?

you know, i tend to picture miles cooking the most. my typical default for imagining char and miles chatting is that they’re in the kitchen, she’s holding tea and he’s making something on the stove. typically mac & cheese. or bacon

but really i think they all cook a decent amount

Who is the most picky in their food choice?

dan because he’s autistic and has some medical requirements, like my esoteric headcanon that he cannot digest meat at all

Who does the grocery shopping?

char and miles are more used to it, whilst i imagine dan has barely set foot in a grocery store in his life. but upon, like, being a grown up, he starts going more with char and miles and he likes it, for the most part. the lights are a bitch, tho

i think dan does it the least, miles the most, and char and miles go together more often than not. oh, and when char is out of pads and she forgot to stock up, miles is the designated Get Me Pads And Painkillers You Bastard man

tho that trope always confused me, as somebody who has at least 5 packages of pads in my pad drawer at all times. are there really period having people who don’t stock up ahead of time and have to ask their significant other?

but i digress

How often do they bake desserts?

not notably often, but i’ve defo imagined miles making Special Brownies

which daniel proceeded to eat all of in a fit of I’m Suddenly Very Hungry

what’s that puddle over there? oh it’s just dan

but anyways thinking on this, i can see these three making a cake together. and it goes a little wonky because their kitchen is small and Too Many Cooks. but a flat chocolate cake is a cake nonetheless. monch

Are they more of a meat lover or a salad eater?

dan: salad, the other option is No Good, so my boy is a vegetarian

char: i’ve made her more a meat lover than a veggie lover (tis her love of a proper English Breakfast) but not overally so

miles: defo likes meat (and savoury things in general) over salad. he’s not one of those guys whose a dickhead about it tho. veggies are just alright to him

tho i can see miles teasing dan about his “rabbit food diet” (which isn’t even apt because rabbits aren’t in the habit of mainlining noodles and pasta)

Who is more likely to surprise the other(s) with an anniversary dinner?

aaahh this feels like something dan would do, he wants to be ~womantic~

Who is more likely to suggest going out?

char, the extroverted outdoorsy one

Who is more likely to burn the house down accidently while cooking?

dan because he got distracted by something. like he was cooking something in the oven and then some Musical Thoughts overtake him and he’s gotta write it down and wait 30 minutes have past OH GOD THE PIE BEEP BEEP BEEP

Chores:

Who cleans the room?

The Room. the Singular Room

anyways they all clean, it’s not very interesting to think about

Who is really against chores?

none of them. miles will half-heartedly complain sometimes but he grew up used to helping out around the house

Who cleans up after the pets?

dan and char clean up after their rats and cat because they are responsible pet owners. and char will clean miles’ wounds because jean-luc is a bastard cat

Who is more likely to sweep everything under the rug?

what kind of idiot... No!

Who stresses the most when guests are coming over?

i can’t see this, like any of them getting stressed about that

Who found a dollar between the couch cushions while cleaning?

miles’ dollar now

Misc:

Who takes the longer showers/baths?

dan takes longer showers, char takes longer baths

Who takes the dog out for a walk?

no dog, only kitty. kitties don’t go for walks

How often do they decorate the room/house for the holidays?

ohh i imagine char decks the place out for christmas. she loves christmas because good family memories. and also she has knitted christmas jumpers for her boys (and cat). christmas and halloween is the only major holiday that they got ham for. and by they, i mean char and miles

dan is just happy to be here

char: you know miles, it’s january and that little bat is still hanging above the fireplace

miles: if you wanna take him down, you can

char: ...no, i just wanted to adknowledge him

dan: he’s part of the family

What are their goals for the relationship?

uh, love, sex and babies. duh

Who is most likely to sleep till noon?

miles. coffee keeps him on his work schedule

Who plays the most pranks?

well, miles, obviously. i can’t think of any because i don’t really go for pranks but nothing elaborate, simple stuff. does that “orders a black coffee at macdonalds when your kids are in the backseat” count as a prank. miles would do that, pause for enough time for the kids to be like :O and then ask for their orders

there! done! wowee, bless any y’all who take the time to read All Of That

#this is like 50 miles long #had to restructure this because i like this meme but it doesn't look good #and defo ain't made for OT3s #agardenintheshire

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