#Noah is confused by people again

[chirpsythismorning]

I’m sorry but nothing will ever beat Finn’s drive playlist that he made during s3 filming, with songs like Me and Michael, The Basement, Gay Thoughts and No Woman lmaoooo

[sorrowsofsilence]

Nightmares • Sebastian

Pairing: Noah Sebastian x Fem!reader (oneshot)

Words: 2.1k

Warnings: Smut 18+ (fem!fingering, male!receiving, explicit language)

Prompt: You wake up from a nightmare, and your friend Noah finds a way to keep it off your mind.

Authors note: I know this prompt was requested a while ago, but I finally got it out hehehHEHEHE

Tags: @sammyjoeee @cookiesupplier @th4t-em0-k1d @dsireland86 @whenthesummerdies @spicywhenspeaking @gretaswhore28 @veronicaphoenix @lma1986 @calleyx13 @somewhere-diamond @talialovesmiw @auratheopossumwitch @blackveilomens @skulliecadaver-blog @silentglassbreak @darkmxgician

(some tags are from older one shots, so if you want on or off the tag list pls let me know! :3)

THIS IS A FANFICTION USING REAL PEOPLE IN A FICTIONAL SITUATION! I AM NOT IMPLYING THESE PEOPLE WOULD DO THE THINGS IN THE STORY OR ACT THE WAY THEY DO IN THE STORY IN REAL LIFE! IT IS FICTION! IT IS JUST FOR FUN! <3

“I don’t want anything to do with you ever again.” He seethed through his tongue, piercing me with his harsh words.

“But-“ you whispered, barely able to make a sound as your stomach clenched with complete heartbreak.

You never should have admitted your feelings for your best friend.

Noah’s glare was grim as he pointed a finger into your chest, disgust radiating off of his tone, “I would never love someone like you.”

His words dug into your soul, breaking you from the inside out as if you were a worthless, disposable vase, shattering into unfixable pieces.

“Y/N,” he yelled, face inches from yours with a snarl evident on his face as he bore hatred into you.

“Y/N!”

“Y/N!”

Your eyes opened as you gasped, your body flying upward as you sat on the couch, chest heaving heavily.

Wet tear-stained cheeks left you gathering your bearings, before making eye contact with a concerned brunette, his auburn orbs furrowed with distress.

You coughed and choked on your saliva, breathing with intensity as you sobbed loudly, pulling the thin fuzzy blanket up to your throat in an attempt to comfort yourself.

With legs draped over Noah’s lap, the two of you were placed on the couch. Looking around the room in confusion as the blue light from the tv danced across the darkened room, you watched it illuminating Noah’s worry. The sound of the movie that you were long-gone from paying attention to, was muffled within your ears as they rang with anxiety, unable to focus on what just happened.

Right, you were watching a movie with him; but must’ve fallen asleep.

It was just a nightmare- but it felt so real.

Noah’s calloused hand reached out to you, his slender fingers delicate as he rested them on your leg, ghosting over the exposed skin from your shorts.

“Y/N,” Noah’s voice cracked with fret, “what happened?”

You sniffed as you wiped your eyes with your sleeve, shaking your head, “n-nothing, I just had a bad dream.”

Sucking in a hyperventilating breath, you sighed and Noah opened his arms, inviting you into his space.

You hesitated for a moment, something that he noticed, before he reached over to grab your shoulders and pulled you into him anyway.

You relaxed slightly once safe in his familiar arms, pressed against his chest. Your face nuzzled into his black sharingan hoodie, his cologne faint as it mixed with the smell of tide from his laundry. The fabric was soft against your s/c skin, and Noah’s fingers began cradling your head, running across your scalp and through your strands in a soothing motion.

His free hand rubbed up your back as you rocked gently, “did you want to talk about it?”

“uh, n-no.” You hiccuped.

Your heart pounded at the thought of telling him what happened in the dream. He couldn’t know it was about him rejecting you, saying he would never love you.

The two of you had only been friends for a couple of years, meeting at a record label party. You were talking to Matt about sound mixing and Noah had overheard; and you’ve been inseparable since.

You never intended to fall in love with him. Of course you’ve always found him handsome, but there wasn’t ever an initial crush. However as you got to know him, his humour and personality sucked you in, leaving you completely whipped; and lost.

It was easier to believe he would never feel the same, because you were just friends. Nothing more, nothing less.

Noah sucked in a breath, “are you sure? I’m pretty worried about you right now, not gonna lie.”

Shrugging, you squeezed onto his body and clung to him. Noah’s small circles on your back delved lower and lower before sliding underneath your crew neck, inviting himself to trail his nails along the bare skin of your back. He traced rhythmic patterns, leaving the skin goose-bumping and tingling.

He always did that when you were anxious.

“One second you were quietly sleeping, the next you were thrashing and crying.” He whispered, resting his cheek on your head. He was genuinely worried, and you knew he cared about you; despite the harsh words that came from the dream.

You exhaled heavily, easing into his touch, “It’s okay, it was just awful… I don’t want to talk about it.”

Noah hummed, agreeing warily. You twisted your body so you were resting your back against his chest and snuggling into his arm that wrapped around you, before turning your attention back to the movie. His hand still rested along the skin beneath the sweater, holding onto your side.

You had no clue what was going on in the movie, but the two main characters on screen were heavily kissing, and beginning to strip. You and Noah watched in silence, ignoring the awkward tension that began to build as you held each other to the sex scene unfolding ahead.

With puffy eyes you wiped your cheeks again and began focusing on breathing, worried he’d notice the way it hitched as the characters loved each other. Your mind raced as it replayed the nightmare over and over again.

Noah’s torso stiffen, his hand on your side hesitating for a moment, before circling the skin again. He ran his hand across your stomach, soothingly.

You pretended to be focused on the movie, and so did Noah, but knew his attention shifted once his fingers tailed further down, the tips treading dangerously close to the hem of your shorts.

He dipped his fingers just between the waistband, running them across your abdomen, the skin tingling at the sensation.

Sucking in a shaky breath as he pushed his hand down further, touching the top of your underwear; you felt your stomach churn in anticipation.

“What are you doing?” You asked nervously, confused at his actions. Noah’s always been touchy with you, whether it was playing with your hair, holding and hugging you, or tickling your skin; but this was something different- something blurring the line between friendship and more.

His chest vibrated as he spoke, a sultry touch added to his tone, “Maybe, if you’re comfortable,” his fingers continued to slide further down, now between your underwear, “you need a little distraction?”

Your heartbeat quickened at his words, a mix of confusion and excitement washing over you. Noah’s fingers lingered for a moment, waiting for an answer.

“What do you mean?” You whispered and felt him smile as his chin rested on the top of your head.

“I can tell you’re overthinking,” He said gently, “so, let me give you something else to focus on?”

The muscles of your thighs clenched at his words as lust washed through you. Of course, you’ve thought about Noah’s inked fingers; there have been many times you imagined your own were his during nights fated to lustful thoughts.

As the room felt smaller and smaller, your mind began to wander to dirty images of succumbing to Noah, the nightmare beginning to wash away.

Nodding slowly you questioned him, “like?”

A breath caught in your throat once his fingers dipped against your sensitive skin, pressing small circles with the pads of his middle and ring fingers.

“This,” his voice hoarse and hungry.

You chewed on the inside of your cheek as Noah’s fingers slid between your folds, the slick arousal coating his fingers as he teased your entrance.

“You’re soaked, and I’ve barely done anything,” he chuckled, and your face flushed from embarrassment. Everything about him turned you on, and now he knew.

You hummed, too nervous to make a sound as his fingers sank into you. With your head tilted back to rest it onto his shoulder, you closed your eyes, afraid to look at Noah who was peering down.

Noah’s free hand ran up underneath your shirt, passing your chest before stopping at the nape of your neck.

“You’re allowed to moan,” He chuckled, his fingers curling.

Laughing lowly, your hips beginning to rut towards his touch, “Well then, I’m going to need you to make me.”

“Is that a challenge?”

Eyes fluttered open to his, a sly smile playing on his lips.

Noah’s dark eyes flickered to his hand that pleasured you, watching how you pushed and pulled from his touch, his mouth agape, almost moaning himself. His repetitive motion left you crumbling, body close to release.

His fingers continuously curled towards your pleasure, his thumb pressed against your clit as he skillfully gave you everything he had. His free hand slid from the base of your neck, grabbing hold of your chest, squeezing.

Noah’s fingers slid up, the pads rubbing along aggressively, stimulating every desire you have ever had. At that moment a moan escaped your throat and he smiled widely, encouraging him to go even faster.

“There you go,” He groaned in contentment and you felt him harden below. Your fingers gripped his thigh, nails digging into his skin as eyelids lowered in rapture, stimulating that you were seconds away from release.

“Oh fuck,” you cried as you came, your other hand gripping Noah’s that held you from above your shirt, squeezing as your abdomen clenched. Legs began closing around his hand as Noah worked out your orgasm, refusing to stop until you pushed him away.

With heavy pants you sat up, turning to face Noah who smiled, taking his fingers into his mouth and licking your release off of them. The tension between you two grew stronger as his hand then slid to the top of his cotton shorts, palming his erection that pushed tauntingly against the fabric.

You watched hungrily, mind no longer thinking about the nightmare from minutes before; but instead wanted to see how far he’d be willing to go- just this once.

“I think I need more of a distraction,” you said delicately, adrenaline taking your racing heart. Without a second thought, you then straddled Noah on the couch, grinding into him as his fingers gripped your hips.

Your body began aching for Noah’s touch again, craving him as his auburn eyes flicked between your own and your lips. You leaned down as his hands travelled up your body, gripping your face as he broke the distance and kissed you desperately. You couldn’t help it as your stomach grew butterflies, his soft lips devouring your own in a hungry kiss, lips open as his tongues pushed against each others.

A guttural groan escaped Noah as he kissed you deeper, the beat of his heart vibrating against his chest in excitement. His hands glided down to follow every curve of your body, pushing and pulling against the skin with need. His hands landed on either side of your hips once again before gripping your ass, pushing you into his arousal, frantic for friction.

“I bet I can make you come without even touching you,” you teased and spoke into his lips, rutting back and forth along his covered length.

Noah chuckled darkly, “I guarantee you could,” his breath quickened, “but I’ve dreamed about your lips wrapped around my cock too many times to let that happen the first time.”

Pausing for a moment, you stared down at him, almost shocked at his words. His smile was radiant as he brought you into another haste kiss, feeling giddy as you two melded into one.

Dream, about you?

“Really?” You whispered, barely audible. You shoved the surprise to the back of your brain, kissing him eagerly one more time before sliding off his lap and onto the floor. Positioning yourself between his legs, you then gripped the hem of his shorts as he watched every move, analyzing each touch.

“I need you Y/N,” he replied as you pulled his shorts down, his arousal breaking free and standing hard against his stomach. You couldn’t help but let out a moan as you gripped him, beginning to stroke up and down.

Noah ardently pushed into your hand and watched with furrowed brows. You then slowly licked a strip up his length before taking him into your mouth fully.

Swirling your tongue along the tip, you then began sliding down, lapping and sucking. Listening to his moans left your knees weak, barely supporting yourself below, succumbing to his need.

Noah’s fingers tangled in your hair as he held it out of your face, admiring you worshiping him. His head fell back in pleasure as you took your free hand to stroke what was free at the base, rubbing his skin firmly but in a delicate manner.

“Jesus fucking Christ Y/N,” his groan deep and lewd, the sensation of your mouth wrapped around him leaving Noah crumbling to the touch.

You wanted to take an orgasm from him, but weren’t sure whether you wanted him coating the back of your throat, or breeding your insides.

“So,” you licked up Noah again before pulling back, stroking him with a hand as you spoke, “do you want to come in my mouth…”

You trailed off, before looking up at him devilishly through your lashes, “or inside of me?”

Noah’s slanted-slutty grin and lidded eyes told you everything, but his words reassured you completely, erasing any signs of doubt you had from the nightmare.

“I’ve always wanted to make every inch of you mine.”

[tikosblogg]

GET AWAY

Summary: you’re bad omens merch girl. You all decide to go on vacation, after tour. Your boyfriend is a real dick, and Noah tells you how he really feels.

Warnings: sexual content, p in v sex, oral (f receiving), a little violence, mentions of blood, cheating. Let me know if I missed anything.

A/n: not gonna lie, it was 3am and I was exhausted. I kind of rushed through the smut. This is not edited. I’m on vacation, and posting from my phone. So sorry it looks a little rough.

We finally walked into the lobby of the condo we were staying at for a very much needed vacation. Noah and the guys just finished an amazing tour, and they all decided to go to Miami Beach for the week. I became close with the guys after landing a job being their merch girl. “Everybody got their room keys?” Matt walked up with his suitcase, making sure we were good to go. Everyone gave their confirmations, as we headed towards the elevators. “I’m so excited for this week, we really needed this.” When I got no response, I turned towards my boyfriend of 1 year Justin. Nose deep in his phone, tapping away. “Hello?” I asked annoyed for the 100th time today. He finally looked up from his phone “hm? Oh yeah, for sure.” And down went his face again.

I rolled my eyes, turning my attention back to the guys with an excited smile. “So what do you guys have planned today??” They all turned towards me, giving me their full attention. Noah speaking up first. “I think me and the guys are gonna go buy some drinks, and sit on the beach. We had a long drive. Kind of just wanna chill for the rest of the evening” I nodded my head in agreement. It was kind of a rough drive, especially being packed in a van with 7 people.

“You guys wanna join us?” As I nodded my head yes, Justin quickly spoke up. “Nah man, thanks tho. but we’re hitting up the bars tonight.” I looked up at just confused as hell. “Why do you wanna go to the bars? I thought we all came together to hangout TOGETHER?” AGAIN I was completely annoyed at his lack of consideration for me and my feelings. “Babe chill out. We literally have all week.” I quickly shut my mouth, and turned away before we got into an argument. I didn’t wanna argue with him, much less in front of the guys.

They all gave me an empathetic look, as the elevator doors finally opened. Everyone started piling in, Justin shoving in front of me with the rest of them. The elevator being at full capacity. I looked at Justin in pure bewilderment. “Seriously?” He turned towards me, and laughed. “We’ll see ya at the top! We’re all going to the same place.” Not only was I completely humiliated, but I was shocked.

Mine and Justin’s relationship was far from perfect. I just don’t understand what happened. We used to be so happy together. He used to be the best boyfriend. Then a couple weeks ago, he started acting different. He looked towards the rest of the guys, expecting them to laugh with him. As the doors started closing, a hand stopped them last second. “I’ll wait with you.” Noah grabbed his suitcase, rolling out and standing with me. The guys all gave him look, before the doors finally closed, sending them on their way up.

“Well that was a dick move.” Noah was the first to speak between us, as we waited for the next elevator. Me and Noah used to be really close friends. Best friends even. I befriended him, before the rest of the guys. He’s the reason I met Justin. I spent months, and months hung up over Noah, just waiting for any kind of sign that maybe he felt the same way. Eventually I had to move on, and Justin happened to be the one I moved on to. He was really attractive, and really sweet. We got along great, and had a lot in common.

My feelings never matched the same intensity as they did for Noah, but I was hoping the more time I spent with Justin, the feelings for Noah would eventually go away... but they haven’t. I just have to keep pushing them further and further down. I’m not sure why, but ever since Justin and I became a couple, Noah became distant. We don’t hangout anymore unless it’s with the rest of the guys. We don’t text as much, unless it’s about work. I guess that’s why it’s so awkward right now that we’re alone.

“Yeah it’s just been a long day for all of us.”

Why am I taking up for my asshole boyfriend’s shitty behavior? Not sure. We didn’t speak anymore, and continued awkwardly waiting on the doors to open. After the short ride up to our floor, we split separate ways to our rooms. “Thanks by the way….for waiting for me.” Noah turned towards me with a small smile on his face. “Always.” I felt my heart skip, as he turned back around, headed for his room at the other end of the hall. I let out a sigh walking towards our room dragging my luggage behind me.

I tried opening the door but it was locked. I banged on it a couple times, waiting for Justin to open it. Finally after a minute or two, the door swung open. “Hey. Took you long enough.” I scoffed, pushing past him, into our bedroom, slinging my suitcase against the bed. “You left me!” He huffed closing the door, before walking towards me. “Noah was literally with y/n calm down.” He rolled his eyes, plopping onto the bed.

“Yeah because YOU my BOYFRIEND didn’t! What if he didn’t wait with me??” I was getting angrier by the second. His lack of care for my wellbeing really hurt. Yeah I might be acting a tad bit dramatic but still. It’s the principle of it. “My god babe! Then you would have came up by yourself! Now come on get ready.” I gave up. I knew arguing with him was pointless. I don’t even know why I bother.

Opening my suitcase, I grabbed an outfit and my makeup bag. I went straight to the bathroom to get ready, getting drunk and letting loose sounds like a great idea.

(Two days later)

I woke up to the sound of the bathroom door slamming shut, and the shower running. Groaning into my pillow, I finally sat up grabbing my phone to check the time. 7am. Why the fuck is he up at 7am? He never wakes up at this time, much less before I even do. The sound of buzzing, pulled me out of my thoughts. I looked over at Justin’s side of the bed where his phone lay. I picked it up to answer, and let whoever was calling know that he would call them back later, until I saw the caller ID. “A” before I could answer, the call ended. I went to unlock his phone, when a text popped up on the screen.

“Hey I’m here. Can’t wait to see you ❤️”

I felt my heart fall to my ass. No way. He’s cheating on me? With who?!? I quickly opened his text threads, seeing the the same contact a few scrolls down. There it was. All the proof I needed, to confirm it. He was in fact cheating on me. Flirty texts, a bunch of selfies sent back and forth. I felt like throwing up. The bathroom door swung open, and Justin walked out towel drying his hair.

“I’m going into town for-“ he stopped dead in his tracks, staring at me like he saw a ghost. “Who the fuck is A?” We sat there silently, just staring at each other. “Just a friend babe, don’t start acting crazy” I let out a sarcastic laugh. “Just a friend huh? Okay.” I threw his phone back at him, climbing out of bed. I grabbed my phone, and some clothes headed straight to the shower. I quickly sent a text in the bands group chat that they added me in a while back, Asking if they wanted to hang out today. I hit send, stripping off my clothes hopping into the shower.

I met the guys at some seafood place, to grab some food before we hung out on the beach. “So where is Justin?” Folio asked, digging into his crab legs. My smile instantly disappeared, thinking back to this morning. We haven’t spoken since then. I’m too humiliated to tell them, and I don’t want to ruin everyone’s trip because of my relationship issues.

I smiled, coming up with a quick lie. Well sort of a lie. “Oh he’s uh meeting up with a friend, he said he’ll catch up with us later.” They all nodded, and continued eating starting up another conversation. I let out a small sigh of relief, at the attention not being on me anymore. When I looked over, Noah was staring at me with a look I couldn’t quite read. I sent him a smile, that he then returned.

After we were all finished, and stuffed full we headed to the beach. I sat in my beach chair tanning while the boys ran through the water and threw a football around. The sound of footsteps met my ears, until they stopped right beside me. I lifted my head, looking over at Noah. He was soaking wet, from being in the ocean. He looked beaut- stop it y/n. He grabbed his towel, drying his hair and body before sitting down beside me.

“What’s going on y/n?” I laid my head back down, still smiling at him. “Just tanning. What abou-“ he quickly cut me off, shaking his head. “ no I mean what’s going on? I think you forget angel…I know you. I can tell something is bothering you.” Thank god I was wearing sunglasses. I could feel the stupid tears welling up in my eyes, along with the butterflies erupting in my stomach. Angel. He always used to call me that. I assumed he stopped out of respect for Justin…but I missed it. I didn’t want to lie to him, but again, I couldn’t ruin this trip. They worked so hard, and they deserve it. So I decided to tell him half of the truth.

“It’s nothing Noah, I promise. Me Justin just had a little argument this morning. Everything is okay now though. No need to worry about it.” I gave him the most convincing smile I could muster, and he just nodded his head thankfully ending the conversation. It was now getting dark, so we all packed up our things and headed to our rooms. Exiting the elevator, I gave each of the guys a hug. When I got to Noah, he wrapped his arms around me in a tight hug. I squeezed back, not wanting to let go.

When we finally released each other, I said one more goodbye to them headed to my room.

Noah pov

After we said bye to y/n me and the guys all hung out in our condo. I spoke up, interrupting the guys conversation. “Something’s going on with y/n but she won’t tell me.” They all looked at me, nick talking first. “Yeah we could tell. Just didn’t wanna pry.” I nodded in agreement. I knew she wasn’t being honest down at the beach, but I didn’t wanna make her uncomfortable. “Probably her dick head of a boyfriend pissing her off.” Jolly sighed, flopping onto the bed behind me.

Justin. The asshole who stole the women of my fucking dreams. I don’t care how cliche it sounds. It’s true. I’ve been in love with her for two years now. Justin was my friend, or so I thought. I mistakenly told him about my feelings for y/n. I told him everything. How I was planning on telling her how I felt. When I was gonna do it and where. Then all of sudden, he walks in the next day flaunting her, and their new relationship right in my face.

I was devastated, but I acted happy for y/n. If he was who made her happy, I had to accept that. But Seeing how he treated her a few days ago when we got here, made me think differently. He ignored her the whole way here, and then was gonna leave her in the lobby. The hurt look on her face, made me rage. I’ve never wanted to beat the fuck out of someone so bad before.

I could feel my anger rising just thinking about it. I need to calm down, and quick before I go beat his ass right now. “You gonna come drink with us Noah?” Folio asked, as they all gathered their things, but I declined. “I think I’m gonna go take a walk. I’ll be back later.” They all nodded goodbye, and went back to their conversation, as I headed down to the beach.

Y/n pov

After I got back to my room, I threw my stuff in the corner sat down on the living room couch. I let out a frustrated groan, shoving my face in my hands. I don’t know what to do. Obviously the right decision would be to dump his sorry ass. I’m just scared. Other than all the shitty things. What me and Justin have is good. It’s…comfortable. Justin is also Noah’s friend. If I leave him, who’s to say Noah doesn’t take Justin’s side? Then I’ll lose my boyfriend… and most importantly… Noah.

Just the thought of losing Noah shatters my heart completely. The door suddenly opened, Justin waltzing in with a smug smile on his face. “Hey babe.” I rolled my eyes, standing from the couch. I grabbed my phone, and slipped my shoes back on headed towards the door. “where are you going?” I stopped before opening it, turning back towards him. anger filling my entire body. “I need space Justin. I really don’t want to talk to you right now.”

He scoffed rolling his eyes. “You’re seriously pissed off that I have friends!? Wow y/n get the fuck over yourself!” He really knows how to get under my skin. “Oh I’m sorry I didn’t know friends flirted with each other and sent hearts back and forth.” He threw his stuff onto the bed shaking his head. “I just need space Justin. I need to think.” He didn’t bother looking at me, as he started unbuttoning his shirt. “Whatever y/n.”

I took that as my cue to leave, and walked out of the room slamming the door behind me. I can’t believe him. I have done everything for him. I have put my all into this relationship, and he couldn’t give a fuck less. I walked down to the beach, to relax and just think. I love the beach at night. Nobody is usually down here at this time, and the sound of the waves are so peaceful at night.

I sat down on one of the wooden lounge chairs, and finally let out the tears I’ve been holding in all day. I sobbed until my throat felt raw. After a little while I calmed down, but silent tears continued to fall. If I leave Justin, I might just lose everyone. I can’t let that happen. Where did it go wrong? Can we even come back from this? Maybe we could try couples therapy… that’s a thing right?

“Didn’t expect to see you down here.” I jumped at the sudden voice breaking the peaceful silence. I quickly wiped the tears off my face, smiling up at Noah. He was smiling until he saw my puffy face. He sat down beside me, throwing his arm over my shoulder pulling me into his side. “Hey..what’s wrong angel?” There he goes with that damn nick name again.

I shake my head, ready to brush it off again until he grabs the side of my face turning it towards his. We were so close. If I moved just an inch closer our noses would brush. “You know it’s really hurting my feelings that you keep lying to me y/n. I know something is going on. Tell me.” I couldn’t control it anymore. A sob broke free again, and Noah held me tighter to his chest. He ran his fingers through my hair until I finally calmed back down.

“He’s cheating on me Noah.” I finally confessed. This is it. I’m about to lose the one person that I care about most. I felt his body go stiff, but not a word was said. I could feel his heart pounding fast against my cheek. I decided to break the silence, I couldnt stand it. “I just.. I don’t know what to do. We were doing so good. Then it all just..went to shit..we kept fighting. I was hoping it was just phase, but I was wrong.” I sniffed, pulling away slightly to look at him. He was pissed. Seething.

I was so scared of what he was going to say. Would he be mad that I was accusing his friend of such a thing? His voice interrupted my thoughts. “You don’t deserve that y/n. He doesn’t deserve you.” I was speechless for a minute. He’s choosing my side? He’s been friends with Justin way longer than he has even known me. I could feel my anxiety slowly dissipating.

We finally disconnected from each other, but stayed close. Our shoulders pressing together. “I guess I’m just scared. I haven’t been alone in so long…I just..I know it sounds pathetic. He used to make me feel so loved. When it was good, it was good. I was able to look past all the bad. I’m scared to start over. What if I don’t find someone who loves me like he did at one point?” Noah listened intently to every word.

“You’re not pathetic y/n. It’s normal to feel the way you do, but please listen to me when I say you don’t deserve it. You deserve every fucking good thing in this god forsaken world, and he is a fucking idiot.” My heart was beating out of my chest at every word that came out of his mouth. He is making it so hard not to fall deeper in love with him.

Love. Did I really just say that? Yes I did. Because I do, and I’m tired of fighting it. “You know I used to be so confident. I was always putting myself out there. Wasn’t afraid to make the first move. I was outgoing, and fun. I let him ruin me, how could someone love a person so fucked up.” The tears started falling again, as I harshly wiped them away.

“I do. You’re not fucked up. You’re hurt. I’m sure right now isnt the best time to say this, but fuck it. I’m tired of keeping it to myself. I love you. I have fucking loved you for two years now.” I was frozen in shock. I can’t believe what my ears are hearing right now. I feel like this is a dream, and I’m about to wake up any minute. We stared at each other, until I finally found my words. “Noah ..are you serious?”

He nodded his head, as we just stared at each other. “Yeah…and Justin knew that too.” Justin knew?? What is he talking about? “What do you mean?” I was in disbelief at what I was hearing right now.

“Well Justin was my best friend…or so I thought..since we were kids. I mistakenly trusted him. I told him about the feelings I had for you. Told him about how I was gonna ask you out. When and where…everything.” he looked away, looking at the ground.

I stayed quiet, waiting for him to finish. “Then the next day, he walks into the house…with you. Hand in hand.” I clenched my hand to my chest. My heart physically hurt. I can’t believe it. I could have had Noah, I almost had Noah….but I said yes to Justin. Of course I didn’t know at the time, but still. It hurts just as bad. “Noah…why..why didn’t you say anything?” He let out a small tired laugh.

“You seemed happy angel…that’s all that mattered. All I wanted..I didn’t wanna ruin that for you.” He said softly, finally looking at me again. My tears finally slowed down, and I softly grabbed his hand resting on his thigh. “Noah…if I would’ve known…” I was at a loss of words. This is my chance. I had to tell him the feelings were mutual. “I felt the same way…I do feel the same way. I thought you didn’t see me like that.. that’s why I said yes to him.”

Noah chuckled, rubbing his hand down his face. “Guess we both fucked up huh?” We both let out quiet laughs. We kept eye contact, but said nothing. Before I knew it, we were both leaning in. When our lips finally touched, my whole body melted into the kiss. His hand moved from under mine, to my cheek. Before we could deepen it any further, a loud voice interrupted us. “OH SO THIS IS WHERE YOU WENT? TO FUCK MY BESTFRIEND?”

We jumped apart, both quickly shooting up from our seats. Justin. Fuck. He was walking fast down the beach from the condos we were staying in. I quickly jumped over the chair to him. “Justin wait! It’s-“ he got in my face, before shoving me backwards. “SHUT UP WHORE! I SHOULD HAVE FUCKING KNOWN!” As I fell back, I landed on the chair, the wooden edge scraping the skin of my leg.

I looked down, to see a nasty gash on the inside of my upper thigh. Before anything could be said, Noah flew from behind me. He tackled Justin to the sand, sending blow after blow to his face. All I could do, was watch in complete shock. I’ve never seen Noah so angry. After a few more blows to Justin’s face, Noah stood back up. “DONT YOU EVER PUT YOUR FUCKING HANDS ON HER AGAIN YOU DICK!”

Justin just laid there, groaning in pain. Noah turned back around, grabbing my hand. “C’mon we’re getting your stuff, you’re gonna stay with me.” I let him lead me away, not before stopping beside Justin. I looked at him for a few seconds, he was fucked up. His nose was probably broken, and his lips were split. I calmly spoke. “In case it wasn’t obvious…We’re over.”

We got inside, and headed towards the elevator. As we waited for the doors to open, I could still feel Noah basically vibrating with anger. The doors opened, and we walked straight in, and rode up in silence. We got to my room, and luckily I only had a few things taken out of my bag. So we quickly grabbed them, stuffed them back in and went to Noah’s room. When we walked in, he sat my suitcase on the desk in his bedroom, and turned towards me.

“Shit you’re bleeding.” I looked down, and sure enough, blood was running down my leg straight into my shoe. “It’s okay, it doesn’t even hurt anymore.” He walked straight past me, and into the bathroom. I heard him shuffling around in the cabinets, and come back with a little first aide kit. I tried to protest again, telling him I’d just rinse it off in the shower. He ignored me, and bent down infront of me.

“Spread your legs for me.” Although he said it innocently, I couldn’t help the blush the covered my cheeks. He got the disinfectant wipes, and cleaned off the blood and around the gash. Pulling out some ointment and a big bandaid, and started applying them gently. As he did, I caught a glimpse of his right hand. His knuckles were busted. “I’m so sorry Noah.” My hand found its way to his head, running my fingers through his hair. I felt guilty. I ruined our trip, because of my fucked up relationship, and now he’s hurt. He froze, and looked up at me, clearly confused.

“Why are you apologizing to me?” He stayed there, waiting for me response. “Your knuckles they’re busted…and I ruined your trip.” he didn’t move a muscle, looking straight into my eyes, and just shook his head. “You didn’t ruin anything, and I’d do it again.” His voice was just above a whisper. “He put his fucking hands on you, I want to fucking kill him.” He placed a kiss to the bandage on my thigh, before slowly rising to his feet. As soon as he got in reach his lips were back on mine again. His arm going under my ass, to lift me all the way up with him, to his full height. My legs wrapped around his waist without a second thought.

Our kiss deepened, as he walked us to the bed, laying me onto it. His kisses moved down, over my cheek, and down my neck. “Noah…” I whined, ready to just feel him. All of him. He lifted his head, planting another kiss on my lips. “I know baby..” he lifted my shirt up and off of me, throwing it somewhere else in the room.

His lips instantly attaching to one of my tits, while his hand groped and played with my other one. I was a moaning mess. He was barely doing anything yet, and I’d never felt so good in my life. His lips moved down my stomach, to the top of my shorts. “I wanna taste you so bad baby.” He whispered against my skin.

.“Noah please..” I am not above begging. I finally have the man of my dreams, and I want all of him. Now. He unbuttoned my shorts, dragging them off a long with my underwear. He took no time to spread my thighs. He groaned, seeing how wet I was for him. All for him. With one last kiss to the inside of my thigh, he dove straight in. His lips wrapped around my clit, sucking it into his mouth.

I gasped in pleasure, my hands falling to his head. I grabbed handfuls of his hair softly tugging it. He groaned against me, sending delicious vibrations through my core. “You taste so good baby.” He ran his tongue up and down the full length of my pussy, until I was shaking with pleasure. “I’m so close Noah..please please”

He took his left hand, teasing my hole with two fingers before fully sinking them in. I moaned out at the feeling. He continued pumping his fingers, and licking my clit. I could feel my orgasm coming, as I started grinding my hips into his face. I came with a loud whine of his name. He moaned again, as he licked up my release.

“Fuck…such a good girl.” He leaned over me, kissing me hard. Shoving his tongue in my mouth, so I could taste myself. I grabbed the bottom of his shirt, pulling it up and off of him, throwing it onto the floor. Our lips connected again, as he reached for his sweats. He pulled them down just enough to pull his dick out.

“Are you okay?” He was panting, struggling to stay still. I nodded my head, begging him to move. He stood back up completely, holding my thighs apart, watching himself disappear inside of me, over and over again. “Fuck Noah, faster.” He felt incredible. I’ve never felt this good during sex. He sped up until he was pounding into me. He kept my thighs spread wide, pushing them into my chest. The new angle making him reach even deeper. “Fuck baby your pussy feels so good wrapped around my dick.” All I could do was moan in response. He looked back down between us before spitting directly on my clit, and rubbing over it with his thumb.

“C’mon baby, cum for me.” I was so close, and I could tell he was too. After a few more thrust, I came hard around him. Pushing my head down against the mattress, and arching my back, my head was fuzzy and light. “Good girl…fuck..” he quickly pulled out, finishing on my chest and stomach. He leaned back over, bringing me into a wet rushed kiss. “I love you so much angel..”

“I love you too.”

[railingsofsorrow]

call your mom

[spencer reid x reader]

SONG INSPIRATION » CALL YOUR MOM by noah kahan  

summary: you're tired of seeing spencer reid struggling on his own and decides to take matters into your own hands: by taking him into a late-night drive through virginia  

pairing: spencer reid x f!bau!reader

w.c: 2.1K

warnings/content: exes to lovers trope (they're best friends); grief (implied); depression symptoms; isolation; spencer needs a hug; hurt/comfort; long hair is mentioned (the best spencer era shut up)

A/N: this is from the same universe of late-night talking but can be read as a standalone. it's my birthday and I used it as an excuse to post this cause I just finished it.

navi

masterpost

criminal minds masterlist

━━━━━━━━━ 

“oh you're spiralin' again,

the moment right before it ends,

you're most afraid of.”

━━━━━━━━━ 

You knock twice, unsure. It is past 9 in the evening and you don't know how this would not bother anybody. But you think about the reason why you're in front of his door and you knock three more times, strong, certain knocks. You need to see him, that's final. 

The door opens to reveal a messy haired Spencer with his work clothes still on and crumpled, showing you he was probably laying down on the couch about to fall asleep or having trouble doing so.  

“Did I wake you?” Your face twitches into a grimace as guilt overtakes your body. 

"No," Spencer's knitted brows tell you he's confused why you're there in the middle of the night. Concern soon takes over. "Are you okay? Did something happen?" 

You are quick to brush him off. "Nothing happened. I came to pick you up." 

"Pick me up...?" 

You nod, crossing your arms. "This is an intervention. We're going out for a drive." 

His shoulders sag, and he shakes his head. You recognize the familiarity of Spencer's ability to shut people down, but he can't do that to you. Not tonight. 

"I'm fine." 

"No, you're not."  

You also know he's not going to shut the door on your face. You bite your cheek, taking one step closer.  

"You're not taking no for an answer, are you?" 

"Sorry." But you're not, really.  

He meets you downstairs, you're resting against your car, staring at the night sky as the night breeze tickles your bare arms. Something soft and warm covers you up and you glance down in surprise. He's silently adjusting the cardigan around your shoulders and you don't have the heart to tell him you did bring a coat and it's in your backseat, but you feel comfortable with the smell of books and coffee in the fabric so you stay quiet.  

"Where are we going," He deadpans, shutting the door with a sigh as he enters the passenger seat.  

"We're driving. No final location." 

No complaints come from him before you turn the car on, so you take that as a good sign and start  driving.  

━━━━━━━━━━━━━

“stayed on the line with you the entire night

'till you let it out and let it in.”

━━━━━━━━━━━━━

The satisfaction of driving through the city late at night comes from the fact that there are no cars honking repeatedly and in a rush to get somewhere. Things are slightly less hectic in traffic after rush hour.  

You drive slowly through Powells Creek Bridge, stealing a glance beside you to see him tilting his head to watch the Potomac River.  

You wait.  

And wait.  

Until, finally. . . 

“Did you know that the Potomac River is approximately 405 miles long, which makes it the fourth largest river on the Atlantic coast? It flows through the Appalachian Mountains and it serves as a natural border between Maryland and Virginia.” 

You bit your lip to prevent yourself from grinning.  

It feels like a breath of fresh air to hear him ramble about something after the tense silence he chose instead this entire week. 

“Really?” 

“Yes.” Spencer is staring at the view outside as your drive, you observe when you stop on red sign. His jaw has a stubble, revealing he hasn't shaved in a while. The way his hair moves to fall off behind his ear and he tucked it every time makes he seem angelic almost. Not almost. He's beautiful.  

You caught the hair tie on his left wrist before you start driving again. 

“Have you ever used it?” 

It was a simple plain purple hair tie. You bought a bunch for him when his hair used to be longer and he would get annoyed when his strands fell on his eyes as he read. When you saw purple hair ties in the place you usually get your hair products, you immediately thought of him, even if you didn't know if he would use it. 

You've never actually seen him use them at work, but he wore them on his wrists religiously and he'd give one to you when you needed it. 

“Used what?” He stopped gazing out into the road to look at you confused.  

“The hair ties.” 

His eyes fell to his wrist. “Oh.” A beat. “Yes, I use it.” 

“You do?” You ask, a tinge of surprise in your tone. “I don't think I've ever seen you wearing it.”  

Spencer huffs out a laugh. “I won't wear it at work. I do at home, though.”  

“Bet you'd look good with your hair tied up.”  

Silence.  

Sometimes you can't control what you say and things come out without you thinking twice about it. This time, though, you should've thought twice. 

“You think so?” Spencer asks, voice small, barely audible if everything wasn't so silence.  

“Sure.”  

“I like it, it helps when I don't want it sticking to my face.” 

“Yeah, they're useful.” 

You feel his stare and your cheeks burn a little with the attention. You turn on an avenue.

“I like wearing them because you gave it to me.” Do you know what I'm saying? He thinks, tongue itching to clarify what he meant I wear it around my wrist because it's a piece of you I have with me all the time. It comforts me. Like now.  

“Because I gave them to you?” You repeat like a stupid person.  

Spencer keeps his eyes on you for a moment before returning to stare at the view outside. His eyes fall shut as the wind enters through the space left open of the car window. It tickled his nose and he smiled a little. 

Grief can creep up on you without warning. In a moment, you're okay, going about your routine as always. Then, you're buried in your couch, with a book close to your chest in a foolish attempt to feel the warmth of someone who's no longer there.  

━━━━━━━━━ 

“he's greatest fears and wringing hands and the loudest silence.”

━━━━━━━━━ 

No warning. Like a slap on your cheek. 

It's funny because Spencer has always dealt with everything by shutting people out. In his childhood, he didn't had a lot of people so he didn't worry about that. But today, surrounded by what he calls family that he met through the FBI, it's harder to do that.  

It's familiar to isolate himself. To just lie and say I'm fine, because he's done it all his life so why change now? Because he has people now.  

He has you.  

Does he deserve it? No. Does he have the strength to shut you out completely? Also no. He may ignore calls and texts from the rest of his team, but you? Spencer doesn't have the heart to do that. He sends a text back, a dot, just to prove his alive but not ready to face the world. 

And then you show up at his place, carrying nothing but your strong-willed persona, inviting him out to drive with no destination in sight.  

Intervention. Could he call it that?  

━━━━━━━━━ 

“medicate, meditate, swear your soul to jesus

throw a punch, fall in love, give yourself a reason

don't wanna drive another mile wonderin' if you're breathing.”

━━━━━━━━━

Spencer doesn't care, really. He admits silently that he feels somewhat better that you're there. Close to him. He feels less empty. 

“Stay with me, Spence.” 

He looks at you, gaze falling to his cardigan around your shoulders. Back when you were together, you used to steal it to wear it on every jet ride even if you had a jumper on your go-bag. Spencer never complained or asked for explanations, the fabric would smell like you afterwards, so it was a win-win situation.  

“I'm here,” he said. “It's not like I want to put myself in the ER by stepping out of the vehicle while you're driving.” 

Your lips twitch in amusement. 

“You looked far away just now.” 

“You notice too much.” 

“You think so?” 

“Yes.” 

You leaned back against the seat, letting out a sigh that told him you would say something serious. Something he should pay attention to, that he should listen. He always listens to you. 

“I care about you.” 

“I care about you too.” 

“Yes well,” Delilah turns the car in a street to park it. Everything was so empty but they are not about to get murdered in the dark because they're federal agents and federal agents do not get killed in the dark in an empty park. “you seem to forget that I care sometimes and you worry me.” 

His brows twitch with guilt.  

“Sorry.” 

“I already forgave you when you got out of your apartment.” 

Spencer looks at you, gaze traveling across your face. The streetlights reflecting across your features remind him of a painting. He's glad he's got an eidetic memory to never forget that image. 

━━━━━━━━━ 

“don't let this darkness fool you

all lights turned off, can be turned on

i'll drive, i'll drive all night

i'll call your mom.”

━━━━━━━━━

“You didn't have to do that,” Spencer says, staring at your hand on your lap, he stops himself from reaching out. “I just needed some space. Some... silence.” 

“Yeah, but your silence is deafening and I missed you.” She offers him a small smile and Spencer notices they have stopped. The car was parked around an empty area.  

It's around three in the morning, understandably so, no one is around.  

“You missed me?” 

“I lost to Emily in chess, I need to upgrade my abilities and you're the teacher for that.” 

That got a chuckle out of him and you feel satisfaction course through your body. The display of emotion just now, even though small, was way better than the apathetic person she saw one hour back at his door. If it means she gets to make him feel a little bit better, driving a whole hour at night is worth it. Or twenty hours straight.  

Your conversation enters a steady rhythm. About the past week. About traffic. About the weather. Anything. You were just happy he is talking. Spencer's voice is addictive and if you didn't have him rambling about statistics or mathematical facts during a case, it wasn't the same.  

"I have to confess something." You announce, laughter dying out. 

Spencer raises a brow at you, folding one of his legs under the other before turning his body to face you by leaning against the door.  

"You do?" 

"It's not a work gossip, don't act too excited." 

His lips tug upwards in amusement. "Do I need to hide a body or something?" 

"Don't worry, you'll be the first to know if I commit a crime," you say, twisting your body to grab something from your backseat. "I had that for a few weeks, but I guess this is the right time to give you."  

Spencer is expecting the cardigan he caught a glimpse of a few minutes before but instead, he finds a book in your hands.  

"A book recommendation."  

He takes it from your hands with a lazy smile on his face. "We haven't done that in a while." 

"Yeah." 

He says your name, studying the book with a pensive look on his features. "Thank you for bringing me here today." He looks up from the hardcover to meet your soft gaze staring back at him. "You got me to get up so... thank you." 

You nudge his feet with your own. "Don't thank me. Like I said before, I need to improve my chess abilities."  

We never played chess, we just talked. He thought while hugging the book to his chest. He would start reading it as soon as he got home. 

One of his hand raise up to touch yours and you let him play with the rings in your fingers. He said once the cold metal against his skin was soothing. 

“Spencer,” your voice is gentle but serious. “You know I'd drive all night if it means I get to see you okay.” 

━━━━━━━━━ 

“oh, dear don't be discouraged

i've been exactly where you are.”

━━━━━━━━━

“You don't have to.” 

“I want to.” 

“I know.” 

And some of the heavy burden that had been laid upon his shoulders seems to let go for the time being. His eyes don't look so grey and his forehead momentarily forgot the permanent frown. 

Spencer feels like breathing fresh air.  

So he'll allow himself to be a little selfish and hold onto your company for longer.  

“Do you want to play chess?” He can't help the grin stretching out his lips when he notices your surprise. Excitement takes place. 

“Yes—I mean, that's the only reason I came to see you.” 

“Right,” he nods as if it's obvious. “Of course.” 

“I didn't miss you at all, I really need to get back at Emily. She never won against me!” 

Spencer leans back, watching you with a knowing glint in his eyes, hands itching to touch yours and never letting go. Your voice is the best remedy he could ever ask for.  

“If you say so.”  

━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━ 

“i'll drive, i'll drive all (night) night

i'll call your mom.”

━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━ 

taglist: @lilyviolets  ; @whore-for-spencer-reid ; @yeonalie ; @ninkieminjaj ; @hoeshissworld ; @r-3dlips ; @pleasantwitchgarden

[dragoncopper]

After the Day Trip

Summary: Noah finds you very distracting during a hike and starts getting ideas.

Word Count: 3119

Pairing: Noah Sebastian / Female Reader (established relationship)

Warnings: Smut - oral sex (f and m receiving), p in v, unprotected sex, fluffy sex, breeding (kind of), cum-play.

You could not remember who came up with the idea, but before you knew it, you were at a nearby National Park doing a day hike with a large group of Noah’s friends.  A lot of them brought other friends and girlfriends along.  Again, you wonder to yourself, how did you get in this situation?

You don’t like hikes.  You liked nature and all, but from a distance mostly.  This was not your idea of a great time.  But, everyone seemed excited and looked forward to it and you agreed in a moment of bravery.

You made sure you were wearing very comfortable clothes, the most comfortable shoes.  You had a hat, sunscreen, water bottle and snacks.

Soon, you realised that you were maybe overly concerned.  Most people were wearing their everyday clothes, few had thought of hats and sunscreen.  After a short hike, you were all on top of a hill, had a bit of a view and soon everyone was sitting down, taking out drinks and snacks.  Noah came to sit right next to you, his thigh resting against yours. 

‘You doing okay?’ he asks with a grin on his face, handing you a white flower he picked.

‘Oh yeah. I’m fine. How are you?’ you smile back at him and handed him a snack from your bag after taking the flower and bringing it to your nose to smell.

He takes the snack and rips it open.  ‘No, I am enjoying this.’

‘Put your phones away guys,’ Jesse yells at everyone.  ‘Just be in the moment and enjoy nature.’

You and Noah briefly pay attention to him and then smile knowingly at each other.  ‘It’s a decent view from up here,’ you state, eating a sour gum sweet.

‘The view was just great right from the start,’ he replies his voice low.  He raises his eyebrows a few times.

‘What?’ you ask confused.  You drink half a bottle of water in one go and then offer the rest to Noah, who takes it from you.

‘I was walking behind you,’ he explains.  ‘Those pants are very distracting on you.  I nearly tripped and died twice.’

You scoff at him, dismissing his attempt to flirt.  ‘Drink water, we are not hiking ourselves to death, but it is still hot out.’

He leans in to you, so that his lips are touching your ear when he says, ‘It hugs your ass just perfectly.  And then those fucking thighs of yours and the way they jiggle a little with every step you take.’  He places his hand on your thigh as he says this. 

You couldn’t help but blush a little.  ‘You were supposed to be looking at the trees and shit.’

‘How could I?’ he says pulling back a little so he could look you in the eye, his voice less quiet now.  ‘I am only human.’

You kiss him quickly on the lips.  ‘You don’t look too bad yourself in those shorts.’

‘Mmm,’ he laughs.  ‘I will make sure to walk where you can see me.  But, seriously,’ he leans in again, ‘I am thinking about doing unholy things to you.’

‘Really?’ you ask matching his tone.  ‘That sounds like a promise?’

‘You know it,’ he squeezed your thigh and briefly runs his hand higher to gently stroke your most upper thigh.  Then he kisses you.  It was quick, but his tongue touched yours in a way that made you clench your legs together and moan before you could help yourself.  ‘That’s what I want to hear,’ he whispers. 

He sits back normally next to you and drinks the rest of the water you gave him.  You stroke some of his hair back away from his face.  ‘Whatever you want as soon as we get home,’ you whisper.  You start putting the flower in your hair.    

He looks you dead in the eye, and the amount of heat and desire communicated between the two of in those few moments were astounding.  ‘I can’t wait, baby.’

All in all, you were all on your way home after three hours.  After your interaction with Noah, you struggled to think about anything besides what his imagination was coming up with.  Bryan suggested a get together with a big bonfire but Noah was already shaking his head by the time he caught your eye.  His excuses were ready.

Noah closed the door slowly behind himself and leaned back against it, his tall frame taking up most of the door.  His white shirt was clinging to him slightly from the heat of the afternoon. 

‘Should we go shower?’ you ask, sweaty yourself.

He shakes his head slowly.  ‘I need you bent over the back of the couch immediately.’  He pushes off from the door and stalks towards you.  He makes it in time to place a hand on the back of your neck to push you down gently.  Then he stands behind you his hands on your hips.  He runs his hands over your backside and your thighs, taking his time.  ‘Are these new?’ 

He was referring to your tights.  ‘Yeah,’ you gulp.

‘They are my new favourite,’ he says and you feel him hook his fingers at the top of them and he starts working them and your underwear down your legs.  He softly bites into the flesh that is somewhere between your ass and hip and growls.  ‘Were you swaying your hips for me?  When we were walking back down?’

‘A little bit,’ you admit while you step out of your clothes.

‘Lean over more,’ he says, his voice low.  He grabs onto the front of your thighs to anchor himself and then his tongue is at your entrance.  ‘Oh baby, this pussy is soaked.  So messy,’ he dives in and laps at you.  ‘How long have you been like this?’

‘Since the top of the hill,’ you moan, because he was back at it, while you answered.  ‘When you told me what you were thinking.’

‘And you wanted to wash all of this away in the shower?  What a pity that would have been,’ he pushes into you so much with his face that your hips are pushed up against the back of the couch and then he pulls you back with his hands on your thighs.  He moans into you like he just cannot get enough of you.  ‘Turn around,’ he pants. 

When you turn, you see him on his knees his hands eager to help you get where he wants you.  He puts your one thigh on his shoulder and eases you back so you lean against the back of the couch.  ‘You taste so good,’ he says looking you in the eye and then he is back with his mouth on you.  He licks with his tongue flat all the way from the bottom to the top a few times before he is sucking your clit into his mouth.  With his hand that is not holding your thigh in place he carefully pushes two fingers into you. 

You throw your head back in pleasure and grab onto his hair.  ‘Noah, baby, keep doing that, please.’

‘Is that going to make you cum?’ he asks teasingly.  You moan as an answer as his fingers curl inside you.  He knows you so well that he has you a blubbering mess within a few short minutes.  But then he eases back a little again.  He gives a parting kiss to your clit and takes his fingers out.  ‘Not yet, baby.’  He gets to his feet and then licks his fingers clean, before he kisses your pouting lips.

The kiss is harsh as his lips pushes into yours hard, and you grab onto his shoulders to pull him closer.  His arms circle your waist as he does the same.  You taste yourself on his tongue.  ‘That was a little mean,’ you pant.

He huffs a laugh.  ‘I have been hard for hours, my love,’ he kisses your neck.  ‘You are so fucking beautiful.’

Shivers run through your body as his lips touch your neck.  His tongue licks up to your jaw.  ‘Are you punishing me because you think I am beautiful?’ your voice is barely there as you try to keep oxygen in your lungs.

He pulls away from you.  ‘This is not punishment,’ he frowns.  ‘This is reward, my beautiful queen.’

You grind against him and you can feel just how hard he is, and has been for so long and suddenly you feel less sorry for yourself.  You softly run your palm over him and you feel him twitch in his pants.  ‘Oh my poor baby,’ you say. 

‘See what I mean?’ he looks down, resting his head on your shoulder. 

‘What do you want,’ you say it into his ear.

‘I want you on the bed, on your stomach, completely naked,’ he rasps, he sounds breathless. 

‘This is what you were picturing earlier?’ you ask. 

‘Oh yeah,’ he growls.  You keep slowly moving your palm over him.  You swear he is getting even harder.  ‘But there’s more to it.  I’ll show you.’  He runs his hands over your ass again and squeezes.  ‘Go wait for me on the bed.  I am getting us some more water.’ 

You grab your underwear and pants before you head to your bedroom.  ‘Put ice in the water, please, it’s so hot.’

‘Alright,’ he calls back.  ‘Put a towel down, baby.’

You take off the rest of your clothes, get a towel and place it next to you as you lay down on the bed, on your stomach as requested.  You try to get comfortable, but soon you hear his footsteps coming closer.  ‘Goddamnit,’ he says when he sees you.  ‘Fuck, just like that.’  He places a pitcher of ice water next to the bed and one glass that he fills right away and takes a few sips, and then offers it to you.  You take two big gulps.  Then you sit up and scoot closer to the edge of the bed where he then stands between your legs.  He pulls his shirt up and off in one quick movement, and his hair flops back down and your heart just swells at the sight of him. 

‘I love you,’ you smile at him.

He leans down comically far to kiss your forehead.  ‘I love you.’

Then you work his shorts and briefs down his legs until he is free from the constraints.  You carefully wrap your fingers around him because you know he must be very sensitive.  He hisses when you pump him a few times.  And then you lean down to lick at his head, tasting his pre-cum.

‘Only enough to get my cock wet,’ he groans.  ‘I have other plans.’

So, you suck his head into your mouth and run your tongue on the ridge, he bucks his hips a little.  He loves it when you do that.  Then you take him as deep as you can, which was most of him, but not all.  You run you flat tongue against the veins.  You pull away and look at him and he nods. 

‘So good,’ he says with affection.  He motions for you to move back onto the bed.  ‘Get a pillow.’

You grab the nearest pillow and pull it closer.  Then he takes it from you and he folds it double, then he grabs the towel and drapes it over the pillow.  ‘How do you want me?’ you ask him.

‘On your front, the pillow under your hips,’ he helps you position yourself.  ‘Push that ass back towards me, please.  No, you need to lay down.  Not on your knees.’  After a while of wiggling around he lets out a satisfied sigh.  ‘Yes.’

He runs one hand from your hip up your side and then back down your spine.  His touch, while so familiar, never fails to make you feel loved and secure.  You melt down into the mattress and pillow as he kisses across your shoulders and to the dimples above your ass.  Then you feel him straddle your thighs.

‘Can you spread your legs a little?’ he asks his voice hoarse.  ‘There you go.’

You feel him at your entrance and he eases his head inside of you.  ‘Oh my god,’ you say as your whole body suddenly left alive with sensation.  The way he was stretching you already felt so good.  ‘More, please, Noah.’

‘You want all of me?’  he asks. 

‘Yes.  Please.’

‘Push back a little for me?’ 

You do as you are told and he sinks into you slowly.  Just when you think all of him is inside, he keeps going.  ‘Oh fuck,’ you sob into the duvet beneath you. 

‘Is that what you wanted?’  he asks.

‘Yes,’ you squeak.  ‘But please.  Just wait a little.’

‘Why, baby?  Are you alright?’ a little concern in his voice.

‘It’s a lot.  I need to get used to you first.  Just a little while.’  You try to explain to him.  It felt like he was deeper than ever before.

‘Whatever you need,’ he leans down and kisses right under your ear.  You turn and kiss his lips.  ‘Am I hurting you?’

‘No,’ you let out a breath.  ‘You feel so good. You are so deep.’

‘I feel really deep,’ you feel his breath against you. 

‘I think I’m ready,’ you say quietly.  ‘Go slow.’

His face moves away from yours a little as he positions himself.  ‘Close your legs a little.’

You do that and everything felt so snug, you hear him moan loudly. 

‘You tell me if you need me to stop.’

‘I will,’ you reply.

And then he slowly starts moving, pulling out slowly and immediately pushing back in with more force.  It felt so incredible.  It always did when he was inside of you.  But in this position, the head of his cock was pushing right against the spot inside of you where the pleasure emanated from, with every single stroke.  You hang your head down and grip onto the blankets.

He leans down and you can feel his tummy on your butt and then his elbows are on either side of yours, his chin resting on your shoulder.  ‘Jesus, fucking, Christ you are so tight.  This is better than I imagined,’ he is out of breath.  He finds a rhythm that is comfortable and yet so mind-blowingly good. 

His hand covers yours and you grip each other while he is lets out a growl every time he exhales right next to your ear.  ‘This is what you imagined?’ you manage to get out.

‘Yes,’ he pants.  ‘I needed to see your ass, and feel it against me.’  His moves are consistent and strong inside you.

‘All because of my tights?’

‘Your ass in the tights.  Did you know what you were doing?’

‘No,’ you huff out a laugh.  ‘I just wanted to be comfortable on the hike.’

‘Well, what a great choice you made, baby.’

‘Is there more to it?’  you ask, not knowing if you could handle much more.

‘I want to cum inside you,’ he bites your shoulder.  ‘And then,’ he squeezes your hand, ‘I want to watch it leak out of you, and fuck it right back into you.’

‘Oh god,’ you cry out, because at this, he started pounding into you faster.  He lifts up a little so he has more purchase and he goes faster, groaning with every thrust. 

‘Fuck,’ he says.  ‘Watching my cock sink into you…  I will never get tired of seeing that.’  He goes even faster, to the point where you cannot understand how his hips can possible be moving that fast and you could just hold on trying to keep up with the sensations he was sending through you.  ‘You take me so well.  That’s my girl.’

When he cums, his voice loses all the breathiness and he sounds serious as he calls you baby over and over, like he is warning about what is about to happen.  His movements lose rhythm and quickly stops and he grind into you with his hips his head fallen on the back of your neck.  He kisses wherever his mouth can find your skin.  Then he pulls away and pulls out of you slowly. 

It’s seconds before he says, ‘Already leaking.  Look at that.’  You feel his fingers touching you as he touches the mess the both of you made. 

‘Please, Noah, put it back,’ you moan.  You are squirming with desire and need and you need him back inside.  ‘I need you, please.’

First, he pushes his cum back in with fingers and then he follows it by sinking back into you.  You sigh in relief.  ‘There you go.’

‘Thank you,’ you exhale.  He builds up speed and force and soon you are back where you were, in disbelief at what he is managing.  ‘Don’t stop.  Please, don’t stop.’

‘I’ve got you,’ he groans. 

‘I know.  You always take care of me,’ you are sobbing.  The pleasure explodes inside of you and you feel like you cannot get enough, and also that it is too much and you have to fight your body’s instinct to get away from the sensations.  He collapses on your back, and you can tell he is trying to keep some of his weight off you, but he is not really successful.  But you love his weight on you.  ‘Did you cum again,’ you ask after a while.

‘Yeah,’ he whispers into your skin.

When he pulls out again, you crawl up the bed to the pillows and pull back the covers.  ‘Come here,’ you open your arms for him and he comes closer to you and rests his head on your chest.  You wrap your arms around him and stroke his hair.  ‘Thank you,’ you kiss his forehead. 

‘I love you so much,’ he barely says as his face is mushed against you.  ‘You did so well.’

‘You were amazing.  Drink some water?’ you hand him the glass and he takes a few sips, before you empty the glass. 

You listen to his breathing, you feel its warmth.  Slowly it steadies and evens out.  You bask in his arms holding you.  That this beautiful person chose to share this with you, that he is resting in your arms.  ‘I love you.’

After a while, where you are sure both of you have dozed off a bit he says, ‘Do you want to go to the bonfire?  We could still go.’

‘No,’ you say.  ‘I think we should shower and get clean sheets on the bed and then cuddle.’

‘Mmmmm,’ he agrees.  ‘That sounds so much better.  Can we get food?’

‘Of course, my love.  What do you feel like?’ 

[i-tripped-on-a-rock]

more low effort art of Alejandro and Noah!! I love them sm,,,, (I actually don’t like this drawing as much but it’s not horrible so I thought I would post it)

Some more of the fic out of context:

“The challenge begins in ten minutes! You kids have fun, I’ve got places to be!” Chris says into his large megaphone as the helicopter begins to take off. Noah rolls his eyes and hugs his arms closer to his chest. Cold and angry is never a good combination. Next to him, Alejandro scoffs quietly. Noah glances over at the taller teen, eyes still obscured by his sunglasses. Alejandro’s mask of “calm, kind, and flirtatious” is no where to be seen. The rest of the contestants are further away, and he hasn’t noticed Noah’s eyes on him yet.

“¿Qué ‘lugares’? ¿Una residencia de ancianos?” Alejandro mutters. He clearly didn’t mean for Noah to hear what he said given how quietly he spoke, and it took all of Noah’s self control to not burst out in startled laughter. He bites his bottom lip to suppress a laugh. His Spanish isn’t great-he’s barely conversational- but he understood enough. “What ‘places’? A retirement/nursing home?”

There was something about the way he said it that set Noah off. Alejandro had this air of irritation to him that Noah sees every morning when he looks in the mirror. He’d never seen the teen more unhappy to be here than in this exact moment, and it only made it more funny to him.

Every once in a while, Alejandro’s mask would slip up and Noah would get to see through his facade, even if it was just for a split second. He would make some sarcastic or mean comment, or just glare at a contestant. The mask was never down for more than a moment, but Noah noticed. Alejandro… he wasn’t that bad in those moments, if Noah was being completely honest with himself. The mask would slide right on the moment he remembers there’s people around, or when someone talks to him. It was like whiplash, despite how minor the changes were. It was almost impressive how much of a difference a few relaxed facial muscles and a charming smile could make.

Noah realizes he failed to suppress a snort at Alejandro’s comment when the other teen turns to look at him. Noah freezes like a fever in headlights as Alejandro stares at him. What surprises him the most, however, is that despite Alejandro realizing someone heard him, he hadn’t tried to hide behind his facade again. That irritating smile that Noah hates so much isn’t anywhere to be seen. Alejandro looked like he was silently speedrunning the 5 stages of grief before finally landing on confusion. It wasn’t until Alejandro began to speak that Noah remembers that he’s not supposed to know Spanish.

“Do you-“

“Sorry! I, um-.” Noah blurts out, frantically searching for an excuse and praying to any god that’s listening that his sunglasses are obscuring enough of his face to hide his panic, “I. I sneeze weird. I have mild anemia and get cold easily, and it’s already cold as hell here.”

Not a complete lie- he does mild anemia- but he’s basically rambling. Before Alejandro has the time to doubt or question him, Heather yells out to them.

“You two losers better get your asses over here! I will not have my win be delayed!” She’s stood further away from them with the rest of the contestants a bit away, stood in front of the beginning of the next challenge. Noah gladly latches on to the chance to switch topics

“Careful with all the cursing on camera, Heather! We wouldn’t want Chris to chop off all your hair again!” Noah calls back has he begins his trudge though the snow towards the challenge. He avoids Alejandro’s stare as he walks past and hopes he won’t push the issue. It’s too early into the game to be making mistakes, especially when it involves his biggest threat.

[wileys-russo]

Okay! Actually last one just something quick! Mary joining you on a family day or you joining her family for the day (like day trip to a farm or like men’s footie game or smth idk) and just getting crazy baby fever seeing her playing with your/her nieces and nephews

family day out II m.earps

"are you excited to see your family love?" mary asked as she drove, squeezing your hand and flashing you a quick smile before her eyes focused back on the road. "i'm excited to see the kids. the rest of that lot, less so!" you rolled your eyes playfully as mary chuckled.

"come on baby your brothers aren't that bad!" mary defended and you gave her a firm look. "okay they can be a little bit much." the keeper admitted with a sheepish smile as she arrived to the field, starting to look for a parking spot.

"oh just you wait till you see them in action today." you chuckled knowingly, mary doing a lap of the block and finding a park a short walk away, reversing in. "sideline coaches then?" mary winced as she shut off the engine.

"sideline coaches. for six year old girls!" you shook your head with a smile, slipping out of the car and taking marys hand as the two of you started to walk.

she'd fractured a finger in training which meant she was being rested for the weekend when united were playing away. as much as you'd tried to convince her to go and watch she decided she'd rather spend the weekend with you given you'd been away all week on a work conference.

"pitch four?" you frowned in confusion your eyes scanning over the text from your brother, about a dozen seperate little fields littering the oval in front of you. "oh is that your mum? liz!" mary cupped her hands over her mouth and shouted causing you to wince as several heads swung to look at the pair of you.

"see! told you. come on baby." mary interlocked your fingers again, ignoring the mumbles of people clearly recognizing her as she pulled you over to where your family was. "mary! what a lovely surprise." your mum beamed wrapping her in a tight hug, you'd swear she liked the older girl more than you sometimes.

"she didn't tell you i was coming? typical." mary tutted as you shoved her, hugging your mum next as mary moved to hug a few more of your family members she'd met before. "mum!" you hissed, pulling your hand away as the woman held it up clearly inspecting for a ring.

"just checking darling." you rolled your eyes. "if i was engaged you'd be one of the first people to know." you chuckled, shaking your head and returning to marys side as she chatted with your brothers.

"no nicholas put me down!" you squealed as your eldest brother scooped you up off your feet into a bear hug and shook you side to side, your other brother james ruffling your hair aggressively as you shot them both a glare and they dropped you back to your feet.

"honestly a couple of children." you huffed fixing your hair making mary smile and pull you into her side, kissing the side of your head. "where's the kids?" you questioned, unable to spot your neice or nephews anywhere. "gracie's warming up with her team and the boys are...somewhere." nick frowned, admittedly not having seen them for a while.

"dad of the year mate!" you patted him on the shoulder, wrapping his wife alice into a hug as she appeared. "oh there they are! boys!" nick shouted loudly, waving them over from where they were off climbing a tree in the car park.

the twins raced over as you braced, both of them crash tackling into you as you stumbled with a laugh but hugged the eight year olds tightly. "thing one, thing two." you teased as they started to bicker over who was which number.

"oh you brought aunty mary!" noah spotted your girlfriend off chatting with your mum, your heart melting as both the twins faces lit up and they let go of you sprinting over to see her. "she's good with them." james smiled beside you, both of you watching as your girlfriend slung jack over her shoulder and sprinted off, noah chasing after her with a laugh.

"she's great with kids, really really great." you sighed, your mind drifting a little about what she would be like with your own kids. "oi ground control to major tom!" you were snapped out of it as your brother smacked your forehead harshly.

"noah, jack, come here please!" you called, noticing a small crowd of people had gathered around your girlfriend wanting photos, watching her face shift as she glanced nervously to the twins clearly not wanting them photographed.

she looked up and mouthed an apology as you waved her off, distracting the boys as she busied herself meeting and greeting the small crowd. "not every day a lioness comes to our dear little club." nick teased as you carefully watched to make sure mary was okay, simply humming.

you saw her excuse herself, pointing to where you stood with your family with an apologetic smile, the crowd thankfully respectful of her wishes and leaving her be as she made her way back. "superstar returns!" james teased her as you punched him in the arm, mary only chuckling and apologising.

"no need love, it's part of your job. you're a fabulous role model for the young ones!" your mum assured her with a soft smile before turning back to her conversation with your aunt, applause starting as the girls started to line up and you all took your seats.

mary tugged you to sit on her lap on the camp chair she occupied, kissing your cheek making you smile. "proud of you." you caressed her cheek with a tender gaze. "for what?" she smiled but with a hint of confusion.

"being you. my mums not wrong, you're a brilliant player but you're such a positive public figure too. you're changing the game and the world for kids like gracie and her team, and i couldn't be prouder of you for it." you promised, leaning in to peck her lips and grinning as her cheeks blushed bright red.

"right enough of that then you'll make me cry." she dismissed as you chuckled, settling into her as her arms wrapped around you and the pair of you cheered alongside your family as the whistle blew for the game to start.

your niece caught your eye on the sideline, face lighting up as she gave you an aggressive wave and a toothy grin. "mary! can you play please?" noah popped up beside you holding a football with a hopeful look.

"go love. it's a round robin there's a few games today!" you encouraged, standing up as mary kissed your cheek appreciatively causing your nephew to gag. "ohh watch out, i'll come and kiss your cheek next!" mary warned, chasing after him with a grin as you shook your head and settled back down.

~

"you did so good gracie! two goals!!" you cheered, sweeping her up into a hug, her team having won three out of their four games today and your brothers being surprisingly well behaved had meant for a lovely day out.

"we've gotta work on your celebrations." you teased, tickling her and placing her down as she raced over to greet the rest of your family. your nephews still playing with mary on a free field you smiled seeing how good and patient she was with them, having mediated many an argument between the twins today.

you waved her over as she caught your eye, catching one of noahs shots and challenging them to a race back, taking off and letting the boys win as all three of them returned.

"hello!" you grunted as noah launched at you, clinging onto your leg and looking up at you with puppy dog eyes. "what?" you laughed knowing he wanted something, catching mary squat down to hug gracie out of the corner of your eye once more melting your heart.

"can we pleasee have a sleepover at your house tonight? aunty mary said it was okay with her if it was okay with you!" he pleaded, hugging your leg even tighter as you chuckled and brushed his shaggy hair out of his eyes.

"if your mum and dad say yes then thats fine." you agreed as he cheered loudly and raced off to check in. "can i come too?" mary appeared beside you with gracie in her arms, tickling her sides as you grinned at her little giggles.

"you aren't tired babe? you've been running around today more than mary does in a whole season!" you teased, your girlfriend pinching your sides with her free hand for the comment. "goal keepers are the unsung heros of the team." gracie repeated making your girlfriend grin.

"very true! you're so wise gracie." mary gasped squeezing her tightly before putting her back down. "mm wonder where she's heard that from?" you tutted, shaking your head at the taller girl who grinned.

"no idea? kid just knows how it is i guess!" mary shrugged feigning innocence, tugging your body into hers and pecking your lips a few times. "now now you two there's children about! save it for the bedroom." your brothers teased as you flipped them off, hastily dropping your finger as the kids appeared, all cheering happily that they were allowed to sleepover.

"are you sure you're right with all three of them?" alice asked worriedly, both you and mary assuring you'd be fine. "gives the two of you a night yourselves as well. go have a nice dinner or something!" you smiled, agreeing the kids would go home to grab their things and your brother would drop them off in a couple of hours.

"yeah. piece of cake! we love kids."

~

turns out, it was not a piece of cake.

"ah gracie don't touch that please, it's hot babe." you warned, quick to grab her hand where it reached for the stove top where you were attempting to cook dinner, but with three lively kids running about it was anything but.

"nope! noah don't chase your brother with that please!" you were quick to snatch one of marys trophies out of his grasp and place it out of reach. "why!" he whined with a huff, stomping his foot. "it's sharp buddy, if you slip and fall you could hurt yourself." you put firmly but gently.

"yeah and if you break my trophy mate i'll hang you upside down from the stairs by your ankles!" mary pounced on him causing laughs to ring out as he called for help and mary grunted as now all three kids latched onto her.

"i told you the ice cream was a bad idea mary." you warned her with a scowl, the keeper wincing apologetically. "okay! new plan." she yelled out, both boys dropping off of her as gracie remained hugging her leg tightly.

"football in the backyard. first one to score against me gets to choose what movie we watch after dinner!" mary clapped, footsteps thundering outside as they raced one another out to the goals and you sighed in relief at the sudden peace and quiet.

"smells divine. i love you!" marys hands grabbed your face, pulling you into a kiss and mumbling an apology against your lips. "mm better be earps. go tire em out!" with that you swatted her bum with the wooden spoon in your hand.

"excuse me there is children running about here young lady! cheeky." mary gasped playfully, stealing one more kiss before running out to the backyard. without them underneath your feet you were able to focus a little more on dinner, still watching out with a tender smile at your girlfriend messing about in the backyard.

as you started to dish everything up again you couldn't help but allow your mind to wander about what it would be like with your own kids with mary, the two of you had been together two years now and in your late twenties you knew it was something you wanted.

"dinner!" you yelled out the back door once everything was dished up and ready on the table. "ah! shoes off, wash hands and wash....faces?" you spoke with a puzzled look at the dirt smeared over all four of them, your girlfriend included.

"yeah look the game got pretty intense babe, i'm talking euros final sort of stuff." mary whistled as you hummed, just smiling in amusement as the four of them left their shoes outside and raced off to the bathroom to wash up.

~

"oh yes! wiggle those hips noah thats it, full rotation!" you laughed from the kitchen, watching on as mary stood on the coffee table clapping. your nephews and neice danced around the living room below her, fed, showered and changed after much argument and fuss.

mary again allowing them to have ice cream after dinner their energy levels had surged, so she was now giving them a dance class in an attempt to tire them out as you washed everything up from dinner.

"very good gracie! love it love it." mary cheered, the song changing as you sighed knowing the catchy childrens tunes would now likely be stuck in your head for the next week.

"okay! movie time, aunty mary is exhausted." your girlfriend announced, shutting off the music after another twenty minutes and collapsing onto the lounge with a dramatic groan.

"right! jack you won, what are we watching?" you joined them, grabbing the remote as your nephew pondered for a moment. "peter pan!" he announced after a few seconds.

"your dads raising you right, fabulous choice."

~

the movie almost finished you'd gently moved a dead asleep gracie off your chest and stepped out for a moment to take a call from your brother who'd returned from dinner, assuring him everything was fine.

you agreed to drop the kids off around ten the next morning, mary having already promised to make them pancakes once they woke up in an attempt to calm them down earlier after dinner.

wishing him goodbye you returned to the living room, your heart absolutely melting into a puddle at the sight before you as you did. mary was dead asleep on the other end of the lounge, noah tucked in between her legs, jacks head on her lap and gracie tucked into her side.

snapping a few photos on your phone with a soft smile you took in the sight for a few more moments, turning off the tv and gently moving to pick gracie up, the young girl stirring but staying asleep as you gently carried her upstairs to bed.

tucking her in you kissed her forehead and returned downstairs. "mary, love." you whispered, running a hand through the keepers hair who thankfully was quite a light sleeper, her eyes fluttering open.

"hi sleepyhead." you chuckled as she stretched, careful not to move or wake the twins. "can you grab jack and i'll grab noah please?" she nodded tiredly as you lifted your nephew with a slight grunt, his head slumping to your shoulder.

mary flicked off the lights as you both carried the boys upstairs, tucking them in beside gracie, the three of them easily fitting into the king sized spare bed, gently closing the door with a soft click.

"you do know we'll be waking up with at least one of them in here yeah?" you smiled knowingly as the two of you collapsed into bed after brushing your teeth, mary only laughing in response.

"hi." the keeper smiled as you pressed your forehead to hers, exchanging a few sweet kisses and i love you's before she reached over to flick the lamp off.

"mary." you started, the older girl humming, your back tucked into her front as her arms held you tightly. "seeing you with the kids today...you're so great with them." you admitted, rolling onto your other side to look at her.

"i love them, they're great kids." mary smiled softly, running a hand through your hair fondly. "do you think about having kids one day?" you blurted out suddenly, cheeks flushing red as her eyebrows shot up in surprise at the sudden question.

"sorry that was very forward." you groaned, tucked your face into her neck in embarrassment as she only chuckled. "i do baby, all the time." mary admitted, nudging your head back out to look at her, soft smile on her features.

"really?" "really."

"so do i." you spoke, smile curling onto your own lips. "we could-" mary started but stopped. "no go on love." you encouraged, thumb stroking the curvature of her jaw.

"we could make an appointment to go speak to someone about everything, get some more information, if you wanted to." she hurried through her words, worried for your reaction if everything suddenly became real.

"i do my love, i really really do."

[veronicaphoenix]

all that's left | noah sebastian

noah sebastian x reader | tags & triggers warnings: pure angst and pain, mentioned car crash, mentioned coma, implied death | words: 900ish

͢ all that's left

Jolly sat in the hard plastic chair, staring at the floor, tracing the same crack in the linoleum with his eyes for what felt like the thousandth time. His fingers twitched in his lap, restless with the things he still couldn’t make sense of, the things he didn’t know how to say to her.

It had been two weeks since the accident. Two weeks of waiting for her to wake up, to open her eyes and remember. Two weeks of trying to accept reality and trying to find the right way to tell her the truth—truth that he still couldn’t accept himself. 

A deep, hollow ache tugged at him as he glanced toward her motionless form in the bed. Machines hummed softly around her, cables trailing from her body like vines trying to hold her down to this world. Her face was pale beneath the harsh hospital lighting. It was hard to reconcile the vibrant girl he remembered with the frail figure lying in front of him now.

He hadn’t left the hospital much since the crash. Couldn’t. Her uncle hadn’t come, as expected, but there had been friends and other relatives that had come to check on her, that had cried when they’d seen her, that had cried even before stepping into the room, once the news had reached them. 

None of it changed a thing. 

A faint groan, barely audible, broke the silence in the room. Jolly’s heart leapt into his throat as he snapped his head up.

Her eyelids fluttered.

For a moment, he froze, unsure if he had imagined it. But then her fingers twitched, her lips parted in a faint gasp, and her eyes—those eyes—opened, unfocused and wide with confusion.

He pronounced her name in a questioning tone. Jolly leaned forward, his voice shaky but hopeful, like it might shatter at any moment.

She blinked slowly, trying to focus, her gaze darting around the room in a frantic haze. Her breaths came in short, shallow bursts. Her body seemed stiff, uncooperative, like it wasn’t hers anymore. She stared down at herself, at the tubes snaking into her arms, the bandages, the bruises, the weight of her broken body sinking in.

“Wh–where…?” Her voice was raspy, as if it had been buried somewhere deep, far away. Panic flickered in her eyes as her hands instinctively pulled at the wires tethering her to the machines.

“Hey, hey, it’s okay,” Jolly said quickly, standing now, reaching out but not touching her. “It’s okay, sweetheart. You’re fine.”

She flinched at the sound of his voice, her gaze finally locking onto him. But there was no recognition there, only fear.

“J-Jolly?” she whispered, her lips barely moving.

He nodded, forcing himself to breathe, to stay calm. “Yeah, it’s me. Hold on, I’ll get the doctors.”

He stumbled to the door, calling for a nurse, for anyone. It wasn’t long before they flooded the room—nurses, doctors, people in scrubs with voices too loud and movements too fast. They surrounded her, checking vitals, speaking in hushed tones meant to reassure, but her confusion and panic only deepened.

Jolly stood back, hands shoved into his sweats’ pockets, watching helplessly as they worked. This was it. This was the moment he had dreaded, and it was happening too fast. He wasn’t ready. But it wasn’t about him—it was about her. And Noah.

After what felt like forever, the doctors finished their examination. One of them—a tall man with kind eyes—placed a hand on Jolly’s shoulder as they left.

“She’s stable. It’s good that she’s awake. Take it easy, okay? She’s going to be confused and disoriented. We’ll be back in a while to check on her again. ”

Jolly nodded mutely. Easy? There was nothing easy about this.

The room was quieter now, just the two of them again. She lay back against the pillows, her brow furrowed in confusion, but calmer. She turned her head—even that simple movement hurt like hell—. Her eyes landed on Jolly.

“What… happened to me? Why… why am I here?”

Jolly took a slow breath, pulling up the chair beside her bed. His hands were trembling slightly, but he tried to steady them as he clasped them together. “You were in an accident,” he said softly. “Two weeks ago. A car crash.”

She blinked, processing. Her gaze dropped to the cast encasing her leg, the bruises staining her skin, and the machines still connected to her. She swallowed hard, a flicker of understanding crossing her face. It made sense, even if it didn’t feel real. 

“Two… weeks?” she whispered, almost to herself.

Jolly nodded. “Yeah. You’ve been in a coma. But you’re awake now. You’re going to be okay.”

She didn’t respond right away, staring down at her hands. Her face twisted as if she was trying to pull memories from the darkness, but it was like sifting through fog. Then, slowly, she looked back at him.

“Jolly…” Her voice broke a little. “Noah… He was with me. He was in the car too.”

Jolly’s heart clenched, and he felt the blood drain from his face. 

He opened his mouth, but no words came. Just the crushing weight of what had to be said, pressing down on him as he tried to gather the courage to speak.

Her eyes widened as the silence stretched on, and the air between them growing impossibly heavy as her heart succumbed to the most horrifying panic she would ever experience; her eyes, unblinking, filling with tears. 

“Jolly… where’s Noah?” 

[bloodylullaby]

Pairing: Noah Sebastian x Reader

Word Count: 2114

Author's Note: Enjoy all the fluff

Life has been relentlessly knocking you down again. It seems like every corner you turn, there's a new challenge waiting to trip you up. Whether it’s the daily grind of dealing with difficult people who test your patience and resilience or the frustratingly mundane obstacles like hitting every red light on your commute, it feels like the universe conspires against you with a vengeance. These constant setbacks, big and small, accumulate, weighing heavily on your spirit and making each day a battle to stay optimistic and keep pushing forward. Despite your efforts to maintain a positive outlook, the persistent barrage of annoyances and hardships leaves you feeling worn out and defeated, as if you’re fighting a losing battle against an unseen force determined to test your limits.

These long, exhausting days have left you severely burned out. By the end of my workday, you find yourself sitting on the couch, staring blankly at the wall. Later, you’ll lie in the dark, gazing up at the ceiling, feeling overwhelming dread. This cycle perpetuates itself, leading to even more disappointment and disillusionment. The activities that you used to enjoy in your free time no longer bring you joy. Your creativity has ground to a halt, replaced by a paralyzing self-doubt that makes you question whether anything you create is good enough. The burnout has drained your energy and eroded your confidence and sense of purpose, leaving you feeling disconnected from the things that once brought you happiness.

Your isolation starts to intensify. Even though you’ve never been outgoing and preferred a night in over a night out, it keeps worsening. You haven't talked to friends or family in weeks, leading to the gnawing thoughts that you don’t matter. This isolation exacerbates your struggle to keep taking your medication—the very thing that helps you function like a normal human being. It helps your body produce the right chemicals so you can function and enjoy life. But what’s the point of enjoying life if everything you do only leads to more exhaustion? The loneliness, coupled with a lack of communication with loved ones, deepens your sense of despair, making it increasingly difficult to find any motivation or reason to continue.

Today has been no different for you. With a day off from work, you’ve been wrapped in a blanket like a burrito, mindlessly playing on your Switch. Your phone has been blowing up with messages from Noah, but you’ve been ignoring him, too drained to respond. You read his texts but don’t reply, and it’s starting to get to him. He’s used to your occasional isolation spells, but it’s gnawing at him now. Typically, you get back to his texts by the end of the day or the next day when you’re going through a rough patch. But this time, you haven’t answered him for a week. The guilt of leaving him in the dark only adds to your overwhelming sense of dread and exhaustion.

There was a knock on the door that made you freeze. You hadn’t invited anyone over, so the thought of someone knocking was nerve-wracking. Slowly, you get up, making as little noise as possible, and avoid all the windows to stay undetected. Looking through the peephole, you see that it’s Noah. With a confused look, you open the door and are greeted by his smiling face.

"Hey," he says softly, holding up a bag. "I brought some things for us to do today."

With a soft smile, you step aside to welcome him in. He heads to the living room coffee table and sets the bag down. Sitting on the couch, he pats the seat next to him and waits for you to join him before pulling items out of the bag. The first thing that he pulls out is two spa headbands. One is black goat horns, and the other is white kitten ears. Next, he pulls out face masks, nail polish, and a manicure set. He turns and gives you a broad smile. 

With a soft smile, you step aside to welcome him in. He heads to the living room coffee table and sets the bag down. Sitting on the couch, he pats the seat next to him and waits for you to join him before pulling items out of the bag. The first things he pulls out are two spa headbands—one with black goat horns and the other with white kitten ears. Next, he reveals face masks, nail polish, and a manicure set. He turns and gives you a broad smile.

“I thought we could have ourselves a little indoor spa day today,” he says.

The gesture touches your heart deeply. What did you do for life to grant you such a kind and wonderful human being in your life? Noah has always been the light at the end of the tunnel for you, but today, he is shining extra brightly. He puts the cat ears spa headband on you and the other on himself. When it comes time to put the face masks on, you watch him struggle to apply them evenly, spreading them all over his face and dropping a glob or two on his shirt. You smile to yourself as you put yours on.

Once everything is cleaned up, Noah sets up the manicure kit with the different colors of nail polish neatly lined up in a row. He takes your left hand and tends to your nails as you gently rest your head on his shoulder. You sigh in contentment, feeling a wave of relaxation wash over you as you listen to him hum and watch him tenderly take care of you. Each stroke of the polish brush feels like a small act of love, reinforcing your bond and reminding you of how lucky you are to have Noah in your life. Time seems to stand still in this moment of intimacy and care as you bask in the warmth of his presence and the simple pleasure of being pampered by someone who means the world to you.

As he switches to your right hand, he gently kisses the inside of your wrist before tending to your nails. You tenderly kiss his temple in response, prompting him to look up and smile at you. A slight giggle escapes you as you see him wearing his face mask and headband. Returning his focus to pampering you, you can't resist the urge to capture this precious moment. Grabbing your phone, you snap a picture, immortalizing the scene of love and care. With a smile playing on your lips, you set the photo as the background on your phone, cherishing the memory forever.

Once he finishes tending to your hands, he looks at you with pleading puppy-dog eyes, begging you to reciprocate the gesture and pamper him in return. With a soft smile playing on your lips, you reach out for his left hand, your fingers tracing delicate patterns across his skin as you begin attending to his cuticles. There's a tender rhythm to your movements, a dance of intimacy and trust as you gently push back the cuticles, ensuring every detail is tended to with precision and care. When needed, you delicately trim them, your touch feather-light yet purposeful.

Moving on, you take up the file, the soft sound filling the air as you expertly shape his nails. Each stroke of the file is deliberate, sculpting his nails with finesse as you bring out their natural shine. With a gentle touch, you then proceed to buff them, smoothing out any imperfections and leaving them gleaming with a healthy sheen. You paint each nail meticulously, ensuring every stroke is flawless and every curve is accentuated. After completing your task, you step back to allow him a moment to admire your handiwork. Impressed by the results, he leans in to plant a grateful kiss on your forehead, expressing his thanks.

He gently reaches out, his fingers tracing a tender path along your cheek before brushing against his own. "I think it's time to wash these off," he declares softly, his voice hinting of playfulness. You nod in agreement, and together, you go to the bathroom.

Once inside, he wraps his arms around you from behind, enveloping you in a warm embrace. With a mischievous twinkle, he reaches for his phone and captures the moment. You effortlessly remove your mask, but Noah struggles, getting some of it in his eye. You gently assist him, ensuring his comfort as you help him wash away the residue. Once his face is clean and dried, he gestures toward the bathtub.

"Wanna take a bubble bath together?" he asks softly, his voice carrying a hint of anticipation. You nod in agreement, a smile tugging at the corners of your lips as you watch him start the bath. With a sense of purpose, he moves to your sink, retrieving a container of Epsom salt. With careful measure, he pours it into the steaming water, the scent of relaxation filling the air as the salts dissolve, ready to soothe away the day's tensions. 

Once everything is prepared, you both begin to undress, shedding the layers of the day's weariness. Noah eases himself into the warm embrace of the tub, settling comfortably into the soothing water. You follow suit, slipping into the bath and settling between his legs. He starts to massage your shoulders. 

“You know I love and care about you, right?" Noah asked softly. You hummed in response, feeling lost in his touch. "Just remember, I'm here to catch you when you fall," he continued gently, kissing your shoulder. His words touched you deeply, and you felt a swell of emotion, tears forming in your eyes.

"Then maybe Hell ain’t so bad after all," you sang quietly with a small smile. He responded by wrapping his arms around your shoulders, gently pulling you back to lean against his chest. He kissed tenderly on the top of your head, his affection palpable. You both lingered in the bath for a while, basking in the warmth and comfort of each other's presence, letting the world outside fade away.

Noah helped you out of the bath as the water began to cool and gently dried you off. Taking your hand, he led you to the bedroom and seated you on the bed. He then rummaged through your dresser, selecting some comfortable lounging clothes for you. After you finished getting dressed, Noah positioned you between his legs and began to brush your hair. His touch was incredibly gentle, and he checked in with you over the slightest of tugs, ensuring your comfort and showing his deep affection and care.

Noah's gentle attention with the hairbrush gradually calms you, each stroke soothing and reassuring. After a few moments, he sets the brush aside and wraps his arms around you, resting his chin on your shoulder.

"Do you feel better?" he asks softly, his voice filled with genuine concern. You nod, leaning back into his embrace, feeling a profound sense of peace. The room is filled with a comforting silence, only broken by the gentle sound of your breaths.

"How about we watch a movie?" he suggests, his tone light and warm.

You agree, and he quickly sets up a cozy spot on the bed with blankets and pillows. As he puts on one of your favorite movies, you both snuggle under the covers, your head resting against his chest. Throughout the movie, Noah's gentle touches continue, his hands occasionally brushing your arm, back, or hair, ensuring you are still comfortable and feeling okay. His constant, tender reassurances make you feel cherished and safe, enhancing the moment's warmth.

As the movie progresses, you both become more relaxed, sinking deeper into the cozy atmosphere. The comfort of his touch and the familiarity of your favorite movie create a serene ambiance. After the movie ends, Noah turns off the TV, and the room becomes tranquil. He looks down at you with a soft smile, his eyes reflecting the affection he feels.

"Ready for bed?" he asks gently.

You nod, feeling a peaceful drowsiness settle over you. Noah shifts slightly, helping you get under the covers properly before he joins you. He wraps his arms around you, pulling you close so you’re nestled against his chest. With the lights dimmed, the room is enveloped in a soothing darkness. The rhythmic sound of his heartbeat and the warmth of his body lull you into a state of complete relaxation.

"Goodnight," he whispers, kissing the top of your head.

"Goodnight," you reply softly, feeling safe and content in his embrace. Slowly, you drift off to sleep, surrounded by his love and the comforting sense of being together.

[book--brackets]

The Raven Cycle by Maggie Stiefvater (2012-2016)

Every year, Blue Sargent stands next to her clairvoyant mother as the soon-to-be dead walk past. Blue never sees them--until this year, when a boy emerges from the dark and speaks to her.

His name is Gansey, a rich student at Aglionby, the local private school. Blue has a policy of staying away from Aglionby boys. Known as Raven Boys, they can only mean trouble.

But Blue is drawn to Gansey, in a way she can't entirely explain. He is on a quest that has encompassed three other Raven Boys: Adam, the scholarship student who resents the privilege around him; Ronan, the fierce soul whose emotions range from anger to despair; and Noah, the taciturn watcher who notices many things but says very little.

For as long as she can remember, Blue has been warned that she will cause her true love to die. She doesn't believe in true love, and never thought this would be a problem. But as her life becomes caught up in the strange and sinister world of the Raven Boys, she's not so sure anymore.

Shades of Magic by V. E. Schwab (2015-2017)

Kell is one of the last Antari--magicians with a rare, coveted ability to travel between parallel Londons; Red, Grey, White, and, once upon a time, Black.Kell was raised in Arnes--Red London--and officially serves the Maresh Empire as an ambassador, traveling between the frequent bloody regime changes in White London and the court of George III in the dullest of Londons, the one without any magic left to see.

Unofficially, Kell is a smuggler, servicing people willing to pay for even the smallest glimpses of a world they'll never see. It's a defiant hobby with dangerous consequences, which Kell is now seeing firsthand.

After an exchange goes awry, Kell escapes to Grey London and runs into Delilah Bard, a cut-purse with lofty aspirations. She first robs him, then saves him from a deadly enemy, and finally forces Kell to spirit her to another world for a proper adventure.

Now perilous magic is afoot, and treachery lurks at every turn. To save all of the worlds, they'll first need to stay alive.

The Witcher by Andrzej Sapkowski (1992-2013)

For over a century, humans, dwarves, gnomes, and elves have lived together in relative peace. But times have changed, the uneasy peace is over, and now the races are fighting once again. The only good elf, it seems, is a dead elf. 

Geralt of Rivia, the cunning assassin known as the Witcher, has been waiting for the birth of a prophesied child. This child has the power to change the world -- for good, or for evil. 

As the threat of war hangs over the land and the child is hunted for her extraordinary powers, it will become Geralt's responsibility to protect them all. And the Witcher never accepts defeat. 

Howl's Moving Castle by Diana Wynne Jones (1986-2008)

Sophie has the great misfortune of being the eldest of three daughters, destined to fail miserably should she ever leave home to seek her fate. But when she unwittingly attracts the ire of the Witch of the Waste, Sophie finds herself under a horrid spell that transforms her into an old lady. Her only chance at breaking it lies in the ever-moving castle in the hills: the Wizard Howl's castle.

To untangle the enchantment, Sophie must handle the heartless Howl, strike a bargain with a fire demon, and meet the Witch of the Waste head-on. Along the way, she discovers that there's far more to Howl--and herself--than first meets the eye.

In this giant jigsaw puzzle of a fantasy, people and things are never quite what they seem. Destinies are intertwined, identities exchanged, lovers confused. The Witch has placed a spell on Howl. Does the clue to breaking it lie in a famous poem? And what will happen to Sophie Hatter when she enters Howl's castle?

The Dresden Files by Jim Butcher (2000-2020)

As a professional wizard, Harry Dresden knows firsthand that the “everyday” world is actually full of strange and magical things—and most of them don’t play well with humans. And those that do enjoy playing with humans far too much. He also knows he’s the best at what he does. Technically, he’s the only at what he does. But even though Harry is the only game in town, business—to put it mildly—stinks.

So when the Chicago P.D. bring him in to consult on a double homicide committed with black magic, Harry’s seeing dollar signs. But where there’s black magic, there’s a black mage behind it. And now that mage knows Harry’s name…

Peter Pan by J. M. Barrie (1911)

Peter Pan, the book based on J. M. Barrie's famous play, is filled with unforgettable characters: Peter Pan, the boy who would not grow up; the fairy, Tinker Bell; the evil pirate, Captain Hook; and the three children-Wendy, John, and Michael-who fly off with Peter Pan to Neverland, where they meet Indians and pirates and a crocodile that ticks.

The Master and Margarita by Mikhail Bulgakov (1966)

One hot spring, the devil arrives in Moscow, accompanied by a retinue that includes a beautiful naked witch and an immense talking black cat with a fondness for chess and vodka. The visitors quickly wreak havoc in a city that refuses to believe in either God or Satan. But they also bring peace to two unhappy Muscovites: one is the Master, a writer pilloried for daring to write a novel about Christ and Pontius Pilate; the other is Margarita, who loves the Master so deeply that she is willing literally to go to hell for him. What ensues is a novel of in exhaustible energy, humor, and philosophical depth.

Saga by Brian K. Vaughan and Fiona Staples (2012-present)

When two soldiers from opposite sides of a never-ending galactic war fall in love, they risk everything to bring a fragile new life into a dangerous old universe. Saga is the sweeping tale of one young family fighting to find their place in the worlds. Fantasy and science fiction are wed like never before in this sexy, subversive drama for adults.

The Farseer Trilogy by Robin Hobb (1995-1997)

Young Fitz is the bastard son of the noble Prince Chivalry, raised in the shadow of the royal court by his father's gruff stableman. He is treated as an outcast by all the royalty except the devious King Shrewd, who has him secretly tutored in the arts of the assassin. For in Fitz's blood runs the magic Skill--and the darker knowledge of a child raised with the stable hounds and rejected by his family. 

 As barbarous raiders ravage the coasts, Fitz is growing to manhood. Soon he will face his first dangerous, soul-shattering mission. And though some regard him as a threat to the throne, he may just be the key to the survival of the kingdom.

Earthsea Cycle by Ursula K. Le Guin (1968-2001)

Ged was the greatest sorcerer in Earthsea, but in his youth he was the reckless Sparrowhawk. In his hunger for power and knowledge, he tampered with long-held secrets and loosed a terrible shadow upon the world.

This is the tumultuous tale of his testing, how he mastered the mighty words of power, tamed an ancient dragon, and crossed death's threshold to restore the balance.

[sage-lights]

today's been a hard day scrolling through smoshblr, and i need to ask y'all honestly how to navigate it all. i'm gonna bullet point my thoughts.

dani saying that she was not valued at her most recent job (which is smosh because her linkedin says she left march 2024) because her mentors/superiors were eager to help her grow until her growth became a threat. so she faced an unpleasant and unsupportive work environment at smosh, a common phenomenon faced by plenty of black women and other woc in entertainment and in LA (source here)

kimmy announced she officially isn't a part of smosh anymore. didn't want to "spill tea" (which dani didn't intend to either, they just both want to be transparent about career changes). kimmy is also a woc who moved from cast to crew, despite still expressing that she wanted to be on camera. curious, huh?

today's smosh games video with noah and olivia. noah has been talked about quite a bit on smoshblr already for his zionist views. (source here)

learned olivia posted a pro-israel story back in oct, but i read the replies on the post and it says that she also has posted about a ceasefire in gaza, but i haven't seen screenshots of it yet (not saying that it's like "pics or it didn't happen" though). reading through the replies say that tommy and amanda (oof, this one hurts) also posted similar things on oct 7. hoping they've educated themselves and understand why we need to continue calling for a ceasefire and supporting palestine to end the genocide in gaza. (source here)

olivia parked in a handicap spot and claimed she didn't know? i didn't watch the who meme'd it when it was uploaded, but it caused many fans to be upset at olivia for it. (source here)

damien, angela, and mallory are the only three i've seen say anything in support of palestine. damien said talked about it on twitch, angela tweeted about it, and mallory posted stories about aaron bushnell. (if anyone has the screenshots/sources, please leave them in the replies!)

i need to clearly state that i don't mean to bring any of this up as a way to bash smosh. as this blog will tell you, i'm a huge fan and have been for almost a decade. but with every passing day, it honestly becomes harder and harder to stay a fan. yet, it's equally as hard to let go of something that has provided me so much comfort (and probably saved me many times over).

where do we as a community go from here? guess i'm just feeling a little lost right now.

again, none of this is meant to be hateful towards anyone. especially because we don't know who they are in their real lives. we only see their public personas.

and to anyone who is confused as to why we as fans should hold smosh accountable for these instances, they are a company with a massive following. they have influence and the things they say and bring attention to reached millions of people. but beyond that, there are people involved. people getting the short end of the stick, getting hurt, for the benefit of a few.

i hope this all made sense. and wow, it's a long ass post. as always, i really appreciate the other blogs on here for being willing to talk about these things. it makes me feel much less alone in my confusion.

please keep all discussions peaceful. absolutely no hate towards anyone will be tolerated.

[jeidafei]

Hi, DGM fandom! I'm jeidafei. You may have seen me in Kougeki-scans' scanlation of D.Gray-Man.

I know Kougeki releases have been delayed for these past few chapters. And people have taken to releasing their own translations on Reddit and MangaDex as early as a few days after the Japanese release. We at Kougeki have asked people to wait if they could. People have told us to, basically, go d*e.

And of course, you are perfectly entitled to say so. You are perfectly entitled to release your own translations and not wait. After all, we at Kougeki are just fans of D.Gray-Man, similar to you. We have zero claim over the series.

I normally stay out of the fray when it comes to quarrels with these 'snipers' until now. When I saw the quality of the translations some of these people are putting out.

(Specifically, Chapter 250 on MangaDex)

Japanese is a difficult language. D.Gray-Man is a difficult manga to translate due to its ongoing status, complex nature and plot twists. I have made mistakes myself that others have pointed out. I have my own interpretations that might be different. I readily forgive mistakes I understand are due to the complex Japanese grammar, and the confusing mysteries of the D.Gray characters.

But these are not it. These are just blatant laziness and lack of basic knowledge of even the most recent developments in D.Gray-Man. Or even simple logic. These are the results of people dishing out sub-par work quickly just to get the most exposure possible.

So while we wait for Kougeki's version, I am going to point out these egregious mistakes. We need transparency so that going forward, you can make your own decisions on whether it is speed or accuracy you are looking for.

The original Japanese text says "7,000 years ago" (七千), not "17 years"（十七）. A difference any beginner Japanese learner would notice. Even most D.Gray-Man fans without Japanese knowledge would probably realize something is off based on what we know of the story so far.

The original text says "Do(es) the passion/sentiments run so deep, you must reincarnate into a human who resembles Nea?" (the word 'regret' is simply not there). I think 'passion' or 'sentiments' are more compatible here, considering earlier theories about Tyki, the Noah of Pleasure.

Jasdevi is saying they were at their limits anyway and wouldn't be able to keep restraining Apocryphos for long. When Wisely orders them to dispose of Apo, they scream "Oni!" (Demon) which is quite similar to "Onii-san" (Elder brother), but most people would probably know which one is more fitting in this scenario, even without Japanese knowledge.

When Desires asks Wisely if he is just going to set Apo free like that, Wisely explains that this way, Apocryphos (not Desires or Wisely as in the translation), can keep searching for the Heart for them. Again, basic story knowledge.

Wisely didn't say "Fine, enough already"; this bubble is a continuation of the earlier bubble, spoken by Desires. Together, he is saying "Wouldn't you just spit it out already!?"

In Japanese, many words sound the same and the meaning can only be determined by context or the Chinese characters (kanji) used. In this case, "kikai" can mean either "machine" (機械) or "opportunity" (機会) or "strange" (奇怪), among a dozen others.

Yes, it's difficult, I know. But, you see the kanji. You know the context. I'm sure you can take a guess.

There are a couple more minor mistakes (ones that don't impact your understanding of the story too much). But I'm just going to leave you with one more, the most conspicuous mistake:

The chapter is named "Curse's End" by this translator. Actually, it's the opposite in Japanese. "Owaranu" is a form of "Owaranai" which means "not ending", which fits the revelation of this chapter by Wisely that their 35-year curse has yet to come to an end.

So, there you have it.

As you can see, I'm not shaming people for not being as fluent in Japanese. Not everyone can dedicate almost two decades to learn a language. As I have pointed out, most of these mistakes are rookie-level, and should have been picked up in double-check if that someone is familiar with D. Gray-Man at all. With these nigh unforgivable mistakes, even Deepl and Google Translate are more accurate.

This is a matter of someone not giving enough of a sh*t, plain and simple.

I'm also not gatekeeping scanlation whatsoever. I'm just pointing out the mistakes and actual text because the fandom deserves to know. With the localization drama going on, it proves faithfulness to the actual text and accuracy matters.

Of course, anyone has the right to put out their translation. And I have the right to point out whether they can be trusted. I'm not passing judgment. I'm just providing evidence so the bystanders can decide for themselves.

Lastly, from the bottom of my heart, I thank everyone who has supported the work of Kougeki Scans and waited for our release. I apologize for the delays. We're working on the latest chapter and will release 249 and 250 very, very soon.

[ihaveforgortoomany]

The Seventh Plague of Egypt painting in R1999 (1.9 spoilers)

Talking about the manifestation of the 1914 storm. (Callback also to my first post here)

As we know the Storm manifests as the embodiment of the critical point in the era, for example money becoming food as symbolic of the hedonism of the 1920s concluding with the Wall St Crash of 1929.

When the 1.9 PV dropped alot of people were confused on what exactly this moon shape was and chalked it to being the effects of the Storm and the 1914 syndome involved people turning into paintings.

Why this shape in particular?

This the Seventh Plague of Egypt by John Martin in 1832 depicting the scene in the Bible where Moses brings forth the ten plagues to force the Pharaoh to free the enslaved Israelites. The painting refers to the 7th where he brings forth fire and thunder down to the Earth. The building and structures to the right of the painting depict society and civilisation: so the painting can also be read as divine punishment over civilisation in a sense, the building of Thebes here serving as a testament to the peak of Egyptian civilisation at this point.

Back to R1999, the Storm through the painting presents itself almost as divine punishment on the world; in particular to Aperion and Vienna, while different have similarities in the way they praised their math and art as the height of their respective places, yet only to be struck by the chaos of war that ultimately destroys both places in the Storm.

What is also notable in relation to the painting is that Vertin stands in almost the same position as Moses in the painting: the far left and facing the 'Storm'. Again Vertin being allusions to biblical figures like Noah and Christ is not uncommon, but the fact that Moses in this particular painting is the one who brings forth the Ten Plagues parallels Vertin being in a way the bringer of the Storm, as the foreteller and Timekeeper able to predict the arrival of the Storm within 24 hours.

(Maybe more can be said on how the various Storm syndromes could mirror the Ten Plagues?)

(Conclusion: someone in BP is probably an art buff or something, though its interesting how they incorporate paintings and biblical theming in ways like this)

[talentforlying]

gwendolyn face-eater soul-sucker: HRRR constantine, about to get his grubby little hands on the agricultural equivalent of a hydrogen bomb: oh noooo, doooon't, i'm just so YUMMY, look at me standing here, all alone, stoooop

gwendolyn: hrrr~ constantine: no! no — stop! do me! l-leave them out of it. clarice: you heard the man.

and WHO is doing it like clarice sackville, i ask you. WHO on planet earth is out there SERVING like this!!!

[yuri-is-online]

Love and Deepspace Timeline: MC, Philos, and the Aether Core

Look I finished Xav's myths card. I don't regret waiting until I was done with it to post his timeline because the last two nodes have more to do with MC than him, but I am in a state so we are making this to cope.

This is all speculation and should not be taken as fact, I have done two other posts, one on Zayne and one on Xavier and I will not be doing one on Rafayel please see this reddit post by u/joonmin for relevant information about his myths card blah blah blah.

This post is less of a timeline and more here to answer questions you very likely have if you: A) decided to browse reddit and saw people saying Xavier feels like the "cannon ro" [this is a gacha game there isn't one] but have never read any of his memories, moments, or dates B) read chapter 8 and went "none of this makes sense I feel like I am missing something" or C) just generally are confused about L&D's world building and what's up with MC. I have answers for you. Wibbly wobbly soupy answers. This post also has a TL;DR in case you don't want to see me break out the string board and just want the relevant bits of information about MC you won't get from the msq.

SPOILERS FOR ALL IN GAME CONTENT UP TO CHAPTER 8, VARIOUS MOMENTS, AND ANECDOTES RELATED TO ALL 3 ROS, PROCEED WITH CARE.

Current Timeline MC (i.e. The one we are playing as)

The game starts with MC's graduation from the Academy and first day as a fully licensed hunter. We learn a few things in this first chapter, namely that MC is combat trained, has a rare heart condition known as Protocore Syndrome that has no known cure, and that her decision to become a hunter has something to do with what she experienced fourteen years ago during the Catastrophe when the Deepspace Tunnel opened and Wanderers started invading earth.

Specifically MC describes something burrowing itself into her heart. She feels helpless, like prey, and has a strong desire to never feel anything like this again. Which is unfortunate because I have a feeling a lot of someones are going to be on her trail sooner rather than later.

In Chapter 5 it is revealed that MC has an Aether core fused to her heart. This sort of human experimentation is highly illegal and it is unknown who did this to MC other than our beloved Grandmother was directly involved. Grandma appears to have taken MC away from wherever this happened after the tests started to threaten MC's life.

This is known to Dr. Zayne and Dr. Noah, though neither seem to know more than what Grandma told them. Neither of them seem to fully understand what an Aether core is or what it is doing to MC's heart. Zayne in particular seems to find this extremely concerning.

Uncovering the mystery of the Aether core seems to be what will be driving the first arc so we will not be discussing it at length here. I do want to note that Xavier absolutely knows what it is, while Zayne does not but does seem to know more of the technical aspects of how it is effecting MC, and Rafayel is at least aware of it being valuable and maybe why exactly the people in the N109 Zone want it.

At some point in the past MC met and made a promise to Rafayel. It is my personal theory that this likely took place on Hat Island during the field trip MC talks about due to some of the comments made in Chapter 7.

MC and Caleb were friends with Zayne in childhood. MC's exact age is a bit fuzzy, but the game does seem to suggest she is younger than Zayne. She does not know why Zayne disappeared from her life or what led him to become a doctor.

Comments in Chapter 4 suggests that Caleb encouraged MC to become a hunter. He seems to be very supportive of her, but Grandma seems more interested in trusting MC's protection to Zayne.

On the surface MC seems pretty normal. Her memories from before the Catastrophe seem to be gone, if she had a mother and father or other blood relatives, she doesn't remember them anymore.

Philos MC (i.e. What is Going on in the Myths)

It is revealed in Xavier's When Shooting Stars Fall anecdote that Philos is Earth in the distant future. This has confused numerous people in the notes of my Xav's timeline so I am going to be insufferable and attempt to assist with a graph:

The MC you play belongs to the game timeline, the MCs (plural each myths card features a different one) in the Myths cards come from the Philos timeline. I have tagged the Game timeline as a "potential tangent" as the events that take place in game are entirely reliant on the existence of the Deepspace Tunnel, which is created in the Philos timeline.

At some point in the Original/Philos Timeline, Earth's core ceases to function. Humanity replaces it with a new, artificial core that causes noticeable weather changes and fuses all of the tectonic plates together, and begins a new calendar counting forward from the years since Earth ceased to be and Philos was born. As a result, we don't know what exact year Earth's core giving out happened in the Original Timeline. The artificial core allows almost all humans to "live eternal." They seem to be like Tolkien's elves in the sense they can live for an eternity but they start to get tired after a while and give up on life. This is why there is a royal family that needs a line of succession. Xavier is the Crown Prince of Philos, he meets MC in school and learns she has a rare disease called Protocore Syndrome which will not allow her to live forever. He attempts to cure this by finding a specific protocore she mentions, but fails to reach her in time and is forced to watch her die. This all happens in the year 214.

At some point MC is reborn and assigned to the same teacher as Xavier. She is to train to become his knight and serve as the leader of the Lightseekers, an order tasked with killing Wanderers. At some point during or before Xavier's coming of age ceremony, he learns the truth about Philos: the planet is dying due to the artificial core never having been meant to sustain the planet this long. The Royal Family's solution for this is to occasionally feed humans to the heart of Philos in Starfall Forest. When they do this, it creates Wanderers. As if that wasn't bad enough, Xavier learns that his father and the royal family have found what they think could be a permanent solution: there is a girl who has achieved true immortality. She is the only person on Philos who can die and be reborn constantly, and while they don't seem to know why she does this, the royal family believes this girl is the life force of the planet itself.

This girl is MC and Xavier does not want this to happen. He has a plan that he does not explain to MC, but it involves traveling back in time. He says they have specific places in time picked out, but we know from Xavier's Passing By anecdote that something went wrong with his team's attempt at time travel and now there is no guarantee that the MC he left on Philos as its Queen is still there.

So now we have two timelines: Original/Philos Timeline and Game/Tangent Timeline. But all of that is just taking Xavier's anecdotes and Myths card into account... so what happens if we try to plug in the other two ROs?

Rafayel

In u/Joonmin's reddit post they mention two very important bits of information: 1) It has been 30,000 years since the sea dried up and 2) MC is a member of the royal family of Philos, not by birth but because "she has a heart that’s been blessed by the gods" and has "awoken from the depths." If all three myths cards take place in the same Philos timeline as the one Xavier leaves, we can reasonably place Raf's myths card after Xavier's backtrack mission.

So the Philos timeline would look like this. I have a note for Zayne's card there as well, but if I had to get picky with it I'm slightly tempted to place his Myths card between MC's first death and her being reborn to meet Xavier again. The other explanation would be that there are three separate Philos timelines created because the MC was successfully scarified to the Heart of Philos. In Xavier's Myths 6 MC briefly takes a dip in the space time anomaly at the center of Starfall Forest which could also explain MC scattering across different timelines, but the in game spacepedia makes a point to say that there is a chance that life still exists on Philos:

So it could simply be that MC over there has been stuck in the exact cycle of death and rebirth that Xavier was trying to prevent. It could also mean that when they add that mystery fourth love interest there is an explanation for a fourth possible myths card. Anyway all this information leaves us with a set of timelines that currently look like this:

This still leaves a lot of unanswered questions. For example, if the Philos timeline is where this all starts, what version of it is? What caused Earth's core to give out in that original timeline? Is Rafayel and Lumeria's existence the consequences of clashing timelines or are mermaids cannon to this universe? What effect on the space time continuum did Xavier's actions have? And how much of this is actually going to be answered in game?

TL;DR

Philos is Earth in the future with an artificial core that started running out of power, and never should have been made in the first place.

The royal family fed some of their long lived humans to the anomaly in Starfall forest to keep the planet running, but then they found out about a girl who could constantly be reborn each time she died and had an idea.

An idea Xavier wasn't very keen on but who cares. They thought that "when the time was right" they would sacrifice her to the rift and leave her there to die and be reborn forever. They also did not think to ask her.

Oh yeah when they fed people to the rift they turned into Wanderers. So wanderers = people as mentioned in Zayne's Still in the Dark anecdote.

Whatever makes MC reincarnate might have something to do with Lumeria, or at the very least the Lumerians in Rafayel's myths card seem to think it does.

In game MC, current timeline MC knows none of this, and has no memories from her lives, past or future. This is consistent across all her incarnations.

Final Thoughts

The only reason why I think this way about timelines is because I watched Donnie Darko in a college theater class. People like to argue about that movie and how it is supposed to be interpreted, but generally speaking they all seem to think that Tangent Timelines and the Tangent Universes they spawn get deleted very quickly, so maybe that's why the game starts by talking about "being able to leave this loop" and why Xavier seems to think something bad will be happening to Linkon City soon.

Chapter 8 ends with Xavier attempting to send a message back through the Deepspace Tunnel to make contact with someone. Interestingly enough he calls this "Traceback II." This sounded familiar to me and sure enough the game starts by mentioning that exact same thing, it is going past a black hole and is what says that line "we are stuck in this loop."

I thought in previous posts that the Aether Core is what could cure MC... but now I think the Aether Core is likely what Philos's artificial core is called... so who created it in the first place? ｢(ﾟﾍﾟ)

The Deepspace Tunnel is a spacetime anomaly likely caused by Philos's existence since it was "never meant to exist." So why was it created? And by who?

[thefallennightmare]

Please do a headcannon for Noah meeting already pregnant reader at a festival or through a VIP and instantly wanting to know her better even given the situation. Maybe she assures him she was in grass and no where close to the mosh pits. Baby starts moving around like crazy when it hears Noah's voice.

@thescarlettvvitch @mitchhbitch @missduffsblog @hayleylatour @sleepyomens @loeytuan98 @artificialbreezy @marvelousmal @bngurngheart @lma1986 @dsireland86 @wild-child-7747 @calleyx13 @illmakeyousaywow @jaded-and-hollow-souls @exitwoundsx @shayzillaaaa @lookwhatitcost @badomensls @princesspeach-00 @burning-outx @shadowseve @collective-heartbreak @klutzy-kay24 @sorrowsofsilence @sweetlittlekitsune @shilohrosechicken @itsafullmoon @toospooktocute @niicoleleigh @thatchickwiththecamera @hoe-for-daddywise @whenthesummerdies @cookiesupplier @concreteemo @thisbicc @sammyjoeee @pathion @flowery-mess @tashka

"Holy shit," Noah muttered to himself when his eyes landed on you.

You, five months pregnant, were standing in line to buy Bad Omens merch.

Noah was helping out Steven, who gave him a weird look.

"What's up?"

Noah pointed to you, who was busy typing away on your phone.

"She's pregnant and at a music festival," he said with worry in his voice.

Steven patted his shoulder. "I'm sure if she didn't feel comfortable, she wouldn't be here. You're always caring about other people before yourself, man."

Rolling his eyes, Noah went to work helping Steven for the next long while. Every so often his eyes would land on you as the line moved forward.

There was a moment when there were only six people ahead of you in line where your eyes caught Noah's and your heart jumped into your chest. His gaze lingered on your face, a smile pulling at his lips, and you caught when he flicked his gaze down to your stomach.

Being pregnant while at a music festival would make others question your decision but you were not about to miss this lineup of bands because you were pregnant.

You were about to become a single mom in four months and knew your time would be limited so you wanted to do all the fun things before that happened.

"Hi, what can I get for you?" Steven smiled when you finally reached the front of the merch booth.

You gave him a warm smile and pointed to the Hell I Overcame sweater. "Can I get that in a large, please?"

Noah, whose eyes never left yours, grabbed the sweater from the box and handed it to you.

"Did you want water or anything to drink?" He asked after you paid.

You held up the reusable water you'd brought from home. "Already on my fourth refill of the day."

You were the last person in line so you didn't have to rush.

Noah shifted on his feet, stuffing his hands in his pockets. "Did you enjoy the show?"

You nodded, clutching the new sweater to your chest. "I did. I've seen you guys four times now. One of my favorites."

Noah could wipe away the proud smile on his face but you knew he wanted to ask something. It was lingering in the way he stared down at your bump again.

"Don't worry, I sat on the grass. Totally safe and away from any crazy moshers," you giggled.

You could practically see the worry lift away from his shoulders and he adjusted the hat on his head.

"Are you here with anyone?"

"I was with a group of friends but they already left. Thought it wasn't worth waiting in line for merch."

Noah snickered. "And what do you think?"

You licked your lips, keeping your gaze directly in line with his. "Definitely."

Neither of you said anything for a moment until your baby began moving in your belly, causing you to place a hand over your bump.

"Not now," you quietly groaned. "The nearest bathroom is on the other side of the grounds."

Noah gave a confused look so you sighed. "Some think it's weird but every time I play your music, he moves. Without fail."

"Really?" Noah wondered. "So whenever he hears my voice, it makes him move."

You nodded, with a hand still over your bump. "He hasn't stopped since we started talking."

His eyes shined as he looked at your hand and hesitantly, you motioned to it.

"Do you?"

"Only if you're comfortable with it," Noah said.

He was always curious about how it felt but never knew any pregnant women who felt comfortable about this.

You reached for his hand and placed it on your bump, your son still moving.

"I play your music in my coffee shop and he thinks it's always time for a dance party," you admitted with a laugh.

Noah stared deeply at your bump, marveling at how it felt against his hand.

"Shit," he murmured but then shot his eyes up at you. "Sorry."

You waved him off. "Nothing he hasn't heard before."

Noah stood straight up now and cleared his throat. "You said you have a coffee shop?"

"It's a small place in downtown L.A. My ex husband never cared for it so I got it in the divorce."

"Ex?" Noah did his best to keep the smile at bay.

"Yep. The divorce was finalized four months ago when I found out I was pregnant. He doesn't care so I'm all on my own with everything."

Your cheeks reddened when you realized you divulged too much to this stranger who actually wasn't a stranger. You'd been a fan of Bad Omens for years.

"Sorry, you probably don't care to hear this," you cast your eyes down.

"No, it's alright. I'd love to hear more if you're up for it," Noah said with a smile.

Immediately you agreed. "Meet me at Park Cafe tomorrow? Anytime."

Noah nodded eagerly. "I'll be there."

With a wave you said your goodbyes.

The next day at 10 a.m, Noah stepped through the door of your cafe wearing that smile you found your heart fluttering at. Your baby immediately moving around in your belly.