#Night Vale is abt life yes?

[terrys-min-catl]

so, while we dont have any story for this season yet, here the detail (weirdly in some way) I count awsome. Cecil doesnt wear socks

[isa-ghost]

honestly I think you are so awesome and deserve all good things in life and I appreciate your role in the community sm, like I think I'd stick around even if you posted about things I know nothing about because just seeing you on the dash makes me go "omg its isa!" (even when its discourse lmao)

What The Fuck this is so sweet!! ;^; 💚💚

Worry not, I'm not leaving QSMP yet. Even if it hurts. If Phil's done, I'll likely migrate to Fit for it. Provided he streams when Phil doesn't. 😅

And I'll be damned if this stops me from completing AMFMN. Apollo has hinted during a brief reading with him that he'll kick my ass. We NEED more Phil centric fics, it's half the reason I said fuck it we ball and started AMFMN to begin with. That goblin of a deity is INVESTED in the story. I think I'd get sunburn for eternity if I left it incomplete.

And I have a perhaps therapeutic idea to write Phil coming home to the Hardcore World via Rose after departing with the kids. I think I'm gonna go for it, even if it hurts to write and I cry during doing so. :p

I'm not sure what'll become of that QSMP AU I was cooking on but I don't think I'll discontinue that before it even begins either. Additionally, I've played with the idea of just. Continuing some kind of AU storyline post-AMFMN. Like writing stuff (headcanons or short story(s)) after the events of the fic. We'll see.

I've been miserable at worst and palpably sad at best the last 2 days, and we'll see what happens during and after Phil's stream today, but.. at least for now at this good hour of 10am, I'm feeling,, better-ish. Cautiously optimistic. I don't want to leave (and I especially don't want to lose the amazing mutuals and friends I've made 😭). I'm not going anywhere.

But if you're curious, here's some other interests you'll see here besides QSMP:

I'm a Phil main first and foremost. Even if he's done on QSMP, I watch every minute of EVERY stream. Hardcore my fucking beloved. I won't hesitate to start cooking up more hardcore Phil headcanons or a fic or AU.

After Phil, I watch Sneeg second most. I also watch Hermits/Lifers & friends, Ranboo (yes hello I love Genloss), Tubbo & a bunch of others. Like I said, Death Family's end on QSMP isn't my end in QSMP, nor MCYT. :)

I barely post abt it anymore bc it's more bitter than sweet for me, but DSMP will always hold a place in my heart. I'm always down to talk about it if asked.

D&D/Critical Role/Candela Obscura (I've been dual-wielding hyperfixations on Phil & CR this whole time, you'd be getting Phil & CR primarily if I fell out of QSMP for some reason)

Related, I plan on getting into Dimension 20 sometime and I also want to watch LA/NY By Night. TTRPG enjoyers that follow me will be getting FED.

I FUCKING LOVE DRAWFEE!!!

Anime!! Bungo Stray Dogs, JJK, Soul Eater, Apothecary Diaries, Frieren, and a bunch of others are my faves/current faves :)

I'm actually primarily an OC and roleplay person, it's my biggest special interest and I've been doing it for 12+ years. It's why I love mcrp so much. I'd probably post this stuff on @isas-oc-asylum and then reblog here if anyone was interested, idk. But I have an entire original world + country full of lore and characters I could talk about for eternity

I FUCKING LOVE HORROR PODCASTS. Magnus Archives & Protocol, Welcome to Night Vale, Old Gods of Appalachia!!

Veteran followers of me know I was originally a Jacksepticeye & Markiplier ego theorist blog before 2020! I have so many AUs of them and I love them still even though new content with them is slow. (I like Sanders Sides a decent amount too!)

I love talking about witchcraft!! I'm always down to infodump, answer questions, or gush about my goofy ass deity circle!! <3

Controversial (/s) but I love the Hazbin & Helluva series. I also love other indie series like Murder Drones, TADC and Lackadaisy!

I'm also slowly watching The Dragon Prince with friends!!

I've reblogged stuff plenty of times but I fucking love The Owl House & Gravity Falls

When will Arcane return from the war,,,, 😔 (soon)

I won't hesitate to plunge into the Monster Prom series deeper. Milo Belladonna and Damien LaVey my lomls I will get monsterfuckery on main I s2g

Basically... I'm a fuckin charcuterie board of interests!! Realistically, I'll still mainly be Phil/Sneeg/CR. But I'm always down to be abnormal about all that 👆🏻 and more.

If any of that interests anyone reading this, feel free to stick around. Or keep beating me with QSMP & Phil stuff in my asks. I'll still always be down to write headcanons and talk about fic stuff. I love qPhil too much to shut up forever.

And if it doesn't? Congrats, I'm also a massive shitposter. I have like 3 different tags for it. Feast your eyes upon how funny I am. It's like the one thing I'm confident in about myself, I'm fucking hilarious.

Honest Opinion Anon Asks

[equalseleventhirds]

i hope you'll excuse me while i wax poetic about welcome to night vale, bcos i'm feelin sappy abt it rn and it's late and i am. emotions. u kno.

bcos when i first started listening to wtnv, it felt like coming home, in a way that actually physically going home never did. bcos i was isolated and strange then--yes, bcos i was young and newly figuring out my queerness and cecil helped me feel better about that, but also like

i felt strange, you know? like god yeah i know i'm not special, but i struggled with fitting in. had weird interests. head in the clouds. dressed funny. talked funny. at weird food no one else liked. didn't get social cues. did strange things, had unusual behaviors or movements or whatever. got called annoying and weird a lot. couldn't keep hold of friends, or a home, or a job, for a while, sometimes bcos they left me and sometimes bcos i left them for not very good reasons. cycled through different ones regularly, until i lost them. had dreams too big and unreachable, and tried my best to settle for what i could reach, even if i didn't love it, and still couldn't quite hold on.

and ok yeah some of that was neurodivergence (undiagnosed), and some of it was queerness, and some of it was cultural stuff goin on, and some of it was just that like, i was in my early 20s and moved far away from home without much in the way of support, right

but night vale took weirdness--my kind of weirdness, or other kinds of weirdness, spooky or horrifying or just deeply deeply strange--and embraced it. made it normal. made it all the same, all accepted. i felt like that was a place i would be allowed to be myself, because who cares if you dress weird or talk weird or whatever when there's five-headed dragons and angels and monster librarians? and what better place to put too-big-too-unreachable-too-odd-to-be-real dreams than somewhere like night vale, where big unreachable odd dreams are part of everyday life?

and through it all cecil speaking soothingly in my ears as i went about my uncomfortable, unfitting daily life, telling me things about community and togetherness and hope amidst the endless trials and void. of course that was the voice i listened to all the time. of course.

the first time i stopped listening to wtnv, it did sort of coincide with some big changes in my life, but more than that: i had become afraid that night vale would be un-weirded. some characters in canon had started to question some of what had previously been standard in town, and they were around some anniversaries, and i was, actually, pretty used to a lot of 'big magic adventure' media that ended with the heroes going home to mundanity, the lesson being about growing up or whatever. and i was so afraid that night vale would do that and take that away from me, so i drifted away and found other things.

and then i did go back and started listening again, and they never did any of that. they had some arcs about accountability, about changing old traditions for better ones, about examining beliefs, but never in a way that took away night vale's weirdness. there was always more, newer, better weirdness to come. and i fell in love with the show all over again.

(the second time i stopped listening was just bcos i was too busy, and i rly have just a handful of episodes to catch back up on. but even when i left, night vale was still there, waiting, ready to welcome me back.

i'm doing a little better with life and stuff now, made better friends, got a better home, found a better job, learned about myself a bit more, started chasing some of those big dreams and damn but i'm doin ok at it. but still night vale is a comfort and a joy to me, a strange little home i love.)

[pacificgasandelectric]

turns out one of my favorite fictional relationship dynamics is literally just "total power exchange but with more murder"

[kindcolors]

do u think i can request a cute abby drawing or somethin? im feelin really sad abt where i am in life tn and am havin a hard time. If not thats so okay too !!!! i just Love u and ur drawings and ur love of abby ♥️ They always make me smile — goin thru ur blog rn 💖

Yes you may !! Thank u so much, and I hope you feel better soon!

(id: Abby Palmer from Welcome to Night Vale. Abby is a dark skinned woman with short, curly dark hair and freckles. She has purple eyes, with an extra two beneath her left, star shaped earrings, and a light blue sweater. She is smiling, showing a small gap in her teeth. End of id.)

[whumpasaurus101]

The Slithery Tales

did i make myself laugh at this title? yes. Am I dissapointed in my self for it? Yes...... Anywhooooo this has been sitting in my draft for two day and my broin forgot abt it so here ya go!! Heheeh

btw... if anyone is new, Aurora is a snake..... sinner.

CW: snakes snakes snakes :D / Dehuminization (i think -??-) / its not too whumpy tbh..... / let me know if i missed something!!

Previous / Masterlist

Mateo chuckled as Aurora slithered up his sleeve, “She’s active today!” Pheonix tugged at his restraints, feeling the scratchy rope rub against his skin. “Please Mateo, I’m sorry, alright? I didn't mean to offend you!” Pheonix was desperate, “Just get that puta away from me!!” Mateo’s head snapped up to him, “We will discuss the name calling later. But ‘Puta’?” Pheonix gulped as he realised his mistake, “N-no! You heard me wrong, I- I said-” He was cut off by Mateo’s loud laugh, “Hah! You know you have always been a terrible liar! So you mean to tell me that you have been able to translate everything that me and my gang have said?”

Pheonix clenched his jaw, not trusting himself to say anything else. He jumped at the feeling of something warm against his leg. He looked down to see Aurora slithering around his leg. He let out a whine and resisted kicking her off. Once Aurora had killed an ex member of the gang after ratting the gang to another one. It was not worth the risk.

“You just tell me the answer, and then I won't make Aurora choke you to death.” Well that’s reassuring. Pheonix forced himself to look away, bringing his eyes to lock with Mateo’s. He glared at him but the glare ended up changing to pleading eyes as Aurora continued to slither upward.

Mateo frowned and let out a laugh, “This is just pathetic! You're scared of a snake! What are you, three years old?” Pheonix rolled his eyes, his body was shaking as his mind wrestled with itself, “It-It’s a black mamba! It could kill you in seconds!! I don't even know how the hell you got it trained!” Mateo looked at him, disappointed, “ ‘It’? Seriously? Come on now. You wouldn't want to hurt her now, would you? Mas alto”

“No!” Pheonix gasped. But Aurora slithered higher. It was agonising Pheonix felt a few tears fall from his eyes. Each tear that fell made Pheonix feel as if they were betraying him. Mateo chuckled, shaking his head. Some one suddenly burst through the door, “Papa! There’s someone on the phone who wants to talk to you!” It was Rebecca. She looked taken back as she saw Pheonix but forced a smile. “Vale, vale, relax. You mind Pheonix while I get it, okay?”

Rebecca nodded and Mateo left. Pheonix squirmed as he felt Aurora tighten around his torso. He looked down at the ground, hoping to hide his tears from Rebecca but it was too late. She sat down across from him and fidgeted with her rings, “You okay?” She asked gently. Pheonix scoffed, “I’ve been kidnapped from my normal, small, boring life. Tortured, threatened and starved. Yes! I'm perfect. Could not be better!” Rebecca gulped. “I-I’m sorry, yeah, I’m fine,” Pheonix muttered. Rebecca sighed, “I'm sorry you got dragged into all of this.”

“‘S alright. It's not your fault. You know, I used to always look at mafia movies,” Pheonix chuckled, “But jesus, nothing like this.”

Rebecca laughed finally, “Yup, I would like to call it my dad’s ‘midlife crisis’ but apparently he’s been into this shit since he was younger.” Pheonix shook his head in disbelief. He then laughed, instantly regretting it as Aurora tightened around his torso. He gasped looking up to Rebecca with wide eyes. Rebecca jumped up quickly, “Shit, shit, alright, listen to me. She can sense fear, that will only make her squeeze tighter. I need you to relax for me, okay?” Pheonix nodded and closed his eyes. He could still see black dots but he ignored them. How long more until he passed out? No. Relax He thought about the beach the way the sun reflected off of the water the sound of the waves crashing against the shore. The way the shells and sand would feel against his feet as he raced down the beach with Sammy.

It was the most painful thing ever, the stones and shells cutting into his feet and the pain in his calves as the sand held him back. But oh how he longed to go back there. The long nights, the music, the campfire, his friends.

He felt the grip on his waist loosen slightly. He heaved in a gasp and started sputtering. he opened his eyes to see both Rebecca and Mateo standing in front of him. He flinched.

“Well, aren’t you a little wuss! I leave for five minutes and you already upset Aurora!” Pheonix bit his lip to stop himself from crying. He hadn’t a clue what was wrong with him. His best guess was that it was because of the lack of sleep, food, and proper human interaction.

Mateo let Aurora slither back onto his own hand and stroked her with one finger as if she was some dog. “Quien estaba al teléfono?” Rebecca asked, breaking the silence Mateo looked at Pheonix, knowing full well that Pheonix knew what she had just said. He cleared his throat and looked at his daughter, “Diego, your uncle. He’s having a barbecue and insisted that Pheonix should come with us! It’s tomorrow, and you best believe that you're wearing a dress!”

Rebecca let out a defeated sigh and nodded, “Yes sir.” Then Mateo turned to Pheonix, “Now, we need to go through some rules.”

---

taglist:

@happy-whumper @as-a-matter-of-whump @milk-carton-whump@jordanstrophe @yesthisiswhump @kixngiggles @just-a-whumping-racoon-with-wifi (let me know if you wanna be added or removed!! <3)

thank you for reading have an awesome day!!! -or night, or evening teehee- (づ￣ 3￣)づ

[cannibalslut]

OMGG U HAVE THE MOST TASTE EVER YES,,, ok a few questions (feel free to answer all at once or seperate if thats easier!)

- do u have a favorite song significance? or like a top few if u can't choose?

- i would love to know more abt bella's playlist specifically :3c so vibe....

- more music in general but have u listened to Glass Animals? their music is weird in a good way if ur into that!

ththank u dizzy for Always always engaging with me ily 🙏🙏🙏

favorite song significance: This. is So Hard to choose and i dont want to put too many bc each really deserves its own post. but right now my favorite song is pretty little head by eliza rickman!! i loop it for 5 hours at a time!!! i have issues!! i think it might have been on night vale so you might have heard of it i just know it because im a Huge fan of dark cabaret & steampunk music

anyways that song really really reminds me of adelheidis singing about griffin especially the chorus ;

Where’s your mother?

kitty kay, griffin’s mom, is a huge driving force in the plot, as she’s the leader of the rabble mob and purposefully undermines the oppressive religion/government that the protags anya and celia are trying to escape

Fall down dead

griffin LITERALLY fell down dead. he fell out of a tree (while trying to save a cat) and hit his head and returned to life for Some Reason thirty minutes later. this is never explained in canon!!! me and my top researchers (clones of me in lab coats) are attempting to find the explanation as we speak so Please Hold but that. is a thing that happened. and “dying” was a huge turning point for griffin because prior to this he was using his real name but afterward he started to hide behind his stage persona of the plague doctor more often - a lot like his mother, who lost herself under her character of the phoenix she played.

Dirty mind, dirty mouth, pretty little head

griffin uses innuendo like…. a LOT. which is funny considering that i headcanon him as ace. but ive had adel call him a “dirty little thing” before Specifically Referencing This Song because i am diseased!!!! and anyways he does think that griffin is very pretty.

I wish you were here, I wish you’d make my bed

this line is definitely adelheidis struggling to find the energy to do everyday things—sometimes theyre just so overwhelmed emotionally and physically that they wish griffin could help them do everything

Dirty mind, dirty mouth, pretty little head

refrain but. underneath these words she says (pretty mind, pretty mouth, pretty li—) and i find it extremely representative of the way adel puts up an icy persona but underneath is melting

i have listened to glass animals! my favorite song of theirs is season 2, episode 3! i keep forgetting the numbers!

i’ll put bella’s playlist under the cut because this post is extremely long already and it contains some triggering content - cw for violence, self-hatred, and discussion of sexual predators

thank u SO SO MUCH for asking this!!! i had a huge blast writing all this!!!

overall, most of the songs have soft girlish vocal types contrasting with harsher sounds and screams, which was a deliberate choice because of how bella acts--they fake an innocent persona to hide their true intentions. the title is a reference to her defection from her country, and the description is a response to the line in victrix’s playlist. i picked the cover because of the motif of contrast, bella likes sweet and “pure” imagery while being a violent and unstable person.

bella’s a tanamare, a fantasy species i made up which has plant-themed powers. their country, ch’aka, is quite oppressive in nature, often employing propaganda to keep their citizens in line. bella was a prodigy with high-level abilities and joined the army early when she was about 13-14.

So everyone that I love is stuck Because this, that, the other, and the state fucked up We covered it in a class that I'm about to fail

Cigarette Ahega0 - Penelope Scott

I am perverted, sick and sadistic Covered in your blood It's ritualistic

Perverted - Elita

All these toys and girls and boys This fucking world makes so much noise Dont talk to me, I'm fucking sick Its life or death we have to pick Bitch, I was gonna die so young But Ill just pop my bubblegum

Hospital - Gurldoll

I'll get revenge Pour bleach on your head and now you're dead Disinfect, so hold your breath and say goodbye

Maggot - Slutever

after some Very Messed Up experiences that i won’t get into, bella defected and became a fugitive. she began attacking and often killing sexual predators, reasoning that she was the only one that understood it was necessary, and that since she was so desensitized to violence & adept with her powers, she had a duty to protect others like her.

I just wanna make the whole earth smile I just wanna make the world smile Do you think I'm bad Do you think I'm wrong Or I'm too slutty?

I Just Wanna Make The Whole Earth Smile - Girls Rituals

So don't you squirm, don't you fret I'm not gonna hurt you yet I just feel the need to be getting A little of you, a lot of blood-letting I know the sensation you're probably dreading But cutting you up will be so refreshing for me

The Dismemberment Song - Blue Kid

You’ve been staring at me for like, a fucking hour. Can I help you? Like, what’s your problem? If you get near me though, if you try to touch me, I swear to God, shitdick. I will take my Louboutins and castrate you.

Don’t Touch - Lil Mariko

All I wanna do is burn the world All I wanna do is burn Now scream my name Scream my name Scream my name Scream it

Fuck Me - Vernon Jane

things poke holes in her flawed reasoning ... her desensitization to violence becomes a source for self-hatred, as she ignores how people have been taking advantage of her for her entire life. she doesn’t know what to do, so she tears herself down. she adopts a carefree, misanthropic persona to distract from her real problems.

My bedroom smells like rotten food And I guess so do I

Angels of Porn - Nicole Dollenganger

There are flowers growing all around a massive animal inside of me And it’s so ugly, and I’m so broken And I’m so ugly, and it’s so broken

Angel Eyes & Basketball - Foot Ox

They say that it gets better, but I guess that was a lie I guess we all just fake it 'til we die Sympathy and love we can extend to someone else But it's harder when you have to love yourself

I Deserve to Bleed - Sushi Soucy

I can teach you how to be just like me, crying all night sleeping 'til three I can teach you how to be just like me, just listen carefully I can teach you how to be just like me, cute as Hello Kitty!

Hello Kitty - Jazmin Bean

ultimately there is something that makes her want to improve as a person. it’s her interpersonal relationships and her little burning flame of belief that things CAN be fixed. she didn’t know how to try before she met someone named kathy & her brother jonah (@llamas-and-leeks‘ ocs)  so bella actually did find a way to get better and confront her issues! good for her. also this gets compounded when she meets victrix, a human crime-fighter. her country, manava, is probably the best place around - while not perfect, manava has an actually good government, and because of their different circumstances, victrix and bella are at odds. victrix is pretty patriotic because her home country is a good place to be, while bella is disillusioned with the propaganda of their childhood. eventually the two learn to see each others’ sides, and they grow and change together :) btw bella is pansexual and victrix is a lesbian. and theyre gay. oh right this was meant to be a playlist explanation hold on-

Maybe you're made of rotting meat Maybe I'm just a machine

Watermelon - Queen Chimera

My sweetheart's piano is rat filled And mine is infested with bugs The music we make is unnatural But it sounds just like falling in love

Butch 4 Butch - Rio Romeo (YES I’M AWARE NEITHER ARE BUTCH.)

I hate you for the sacrifices you made for me I hate you for every time you ever bled for me I hate you for the way you smile when you look at me I hate you for never taking control of me

Blood - In This Moment

[judesaves]

it’s the middle of the night, but i’ll just plop down and say hello anyways! this here is my star-of-his-high-school-hockey-team-but-not-his-ahl-team, formally big fish in a huge ass pond, still-kinda-under-the-oppressive-influence-of-his-evangelical-dad hockey playing Good Boi Jude.

judah ‘jude’ ames (casey cott) who works as a cashier at the armory. he’s from thunder bay, ontario and lives in east vale. they’re ardent and optimistic but can also be vacuous and prudish. sometimes, they’re known as the sanctimonious.

my bio is super long so i apologize in advance, but here’s all you need to know abt judie the prudie!

full name / nicknames: Judah Seth Ames / Jude, Judie, J, the Bae From Thunder Bay age / date of birth: 27 / July 30th, 1992 place of birth: Thunder Bay, Ontario, Canada previous residences / current residence: Sarnia, Ontario, Canada; Kitchener, Ontario, Canada; London, Ontario, Canada; Hershey, Pennsylvania; Chicago, Illinois; Des Moines, Iowa / Kingscrest, Colorado citizenship / ethnicity: Canadian (on a sports visa) / White (English, Danish, Dutch, German) religion: Lutheran socioeconomic status / political affiliation: Upper Class / Unaffiliated, but liberal leaning martial status: Single sexual & romantic orientation: heterosexual, hetero-romantic (he’s not questioned it, at the very least) education / occupation: high school graduate / cashier at The Armory

former teams / current team: Hershey Bears, Chicago Wolves, Iowa Wild / Kingscrest Knights position / shoots: Center / Right jersey number: #41 NHL draft: 79th overall, Washington Capitals professional playing career: 2010 – 2018

parents: Teresa Ames (mother), David Ames (father) siblings: Jared Ames (older brother by two years), Jacob Ames (younger brother by eleven years), Julianne Ames (younger sister by eleven years) offspring: none pets: family dog named Gretsky (German Shepherd), though he’s back in Thunder Bay

faceclaim: Casey Cott hair color / eye color: brown / pale green height / build: 5′11″ / athletic, muscular tattoos / piercings: none / none distinguishable features / scars: big lips, strong jawline / various bodily scars from hockey injuries over his lifetime dexterity: right handed known allergies: none visual impairment / hearing impairment: none / none nicotine use / drug use / alcohol use: no / no / socially

traits: confident, brawny, optimistic, playful, prudish, vacuous, arrogant, disapproving temperament: choleric alignment: lawful good enneagram: type one, the reformer mbti: ESTJ hogwarts house: gryffindor vice / virtue: pride / chastity likes / dislikes: hockey, the feeling of skates gliding on smooth ice, exercising, sleeping, cheesecake, snow, comedies, rules / montreal canadiens, partying, breaking his diet, the fear of never making it to the nhl, broccoli, phone calls from his father, westerns, soccer favorite media: to kill a mockingbird by harper lee (book), planes, trains, and automobiles (film), bob’s burgers (television show), tell her about it by billy joel (song) favorite color: blue 

hockey has been a part of judah’s life for longer than he can remember. his first memories include the freezing solidness of the ice, the snug feeling of skates on his feet, the weight of a helmet upon his head. jude grew up believing he was born to play hockey, and really, he wasn’t wrong. a complete natural, despite hating it the first time his parents put him on the ice. a tantrum ensued, even though jared, his older brother and jude’s personal childhood hero, promised him it wasn’t scary and he was safe; he wanted to do everything jared did, but he wasn’t ready yet.

hockey wasn’t the only thing he was scared of. his father, david, taught his sons about hell before they were old enough to understand the concept. he taught them about sins. how fornication would damn you, how adultery would greet you with the devil, how doing anything wrong would leave you burning in hell forever. the list of things that were wrong to do, however, got longer and longer as his children grew, until doing anything but praying or playing a sport would condemn his soul. jude never heard his father say it, but he felt he was doing something wrong, something sinful when he cried and plopped down on the ice that day, begging for his brother to pick him up and bring him off the slippery ice.

his soul was saved after he turned five, when he got tired of watching jared play and wanted to join his older brother in the rink. the second time he laced up a pair of skates, at the tender age of five, jude fell in love. he finally fulfilled his purpose, or rather realized it. still so young, the local mini mite league not much more than toddlers standing around on the ice as the coaches uselessly tried to direct them on wobbly skates, little jude became fascinated with the sport. watching it constantly on the television, attending all of his older brother’s games, wearing all the leafs apparel his parents bought for him. their summers spent on roller blades playing with a toy goal set in the driveway, their winters spent freezing in the stands or skating on razor sharp blades.

as the minor leagues started raising up with age, so did the level of skills needed to play, and jude quickly proved to be a natural. the way he glided effortlessly, the way he turned on the hairpin edge of blades with ease, the way he listened and adhered to direction like a loyal solider. judah had memorized the rule book from front to back by the time he was nine, could spout off any definition or recall the minutiae details of a rule his own coaches had mostly forgotten, to the point of annoyance for his teammates and coaching staff. anyone could see that jude was going places, they could tell jude was going to make it.

but he wasn’t going to go as far as jared. jude paled in comparison to his older brother. for every rule he could recite like a sermon or puck he could hit squarely into the net, jared was faster, harder, stronger, better. he lived in jared’s shadow and what a well-lived in shadow it was. it didn’t matter how good jude was when jared was there, it didn’t matter if jude was a good player when jared was great… for a time.

the ames family added two more children, a pair of twins. jacob and julianne came into the world when jude and jared were eleven and fourteen respectively. even with two new babies in the house, the two older ames brothers were never distracted from their shared sport. their mother the focus of the childrearing, their father focused on rearing his two sons into hockey prodigies. loyal servants to the church of god and gretzky, the ames boys were good, they were righteous, they were perfect. perfect, how that word seemed to follow them. perfect, that was the ultimate praise from their father, when they followed the letter of jesus or their coaches. the fear of disappointing their father was the fear of going to hell. they had to be the best, they had to be perfect, they had to be righteous if they were going to make it.

the foundation of their perfect little family started to crack once jude was headed into peewee. the pressure from their father a fixture that had known for their entire lives, the pressure that kept them perfect, jared finally bent underneath that weight. his playing, while always more fast-paced and fierce than jude’s, got sloppier and less dignified. his hits were less than clean, his gloves dropped more than they didn’t, his pucks still landed in the goals but their passes to get there were dangerous. if that didn’t piss off their father enough, jared would stay out later, would go to parties on school nights, would refuse to go to church. i’m the bad one now, judie, so you don’t have to be, jared whispered to him once on a drive back from practice but jude didn’t understand what his brother meant.

jude was never in danger of being the bad one. the meek one, yes, the quiet one or the shy one, but he was never bad. his behavior, his playing, it was barely less than perfect. as jared’s star started to diminish (in their father’s eyes, at least, since jared only got more popular at school the more he partied), focus started to turn on jude. david’s focus, namely. david started taking jude out for hot chocolate after practices, ice cream parlors after winning a game. david wouldn’t let jude end up like jared, he wouldn’t let jude go down the same road of sin his older brother walked down. jared was still a good player, yes, or rather he still played well, but he wasn’t perfect anymore. jared was getting worse, jude was only getting better.

even if jared proclaimed that he was willingly taking the heat off of jude, a rift started to grow between the two. people were starting to praise jude more, talk about him more, talk about how good he was getting. the shadow that jude lived in was starting to shift, others were starting to notice him. judah ames, just a boy of fourteen, was the one the parents of his teammates would point out, the one they’d beg their children to hang out with in case his discipline and skill would rub off on them. his thoughts were only occupied with hockey, every dream he had was just reliving old games or planning for future ones. everything related to it, no matter if he was looking for a connection or not. hockey was the only personality he had.

who could blame him, though? with the way his father yelled from the stands, often yelling louder than the coach. with the way his father dropped him off promptly before practice began and picked up him not a second after it ended. as the reins on jared were forcibly loosened, the reins tightened on jude and david promised himself and god that he’d never let judah seth ames go. they moved across ontario with every minor team jared or judah joined, though they always considered thunder bay to be their home. as jude became more disciplined, more refined in his playing, jared got worse, got messier, to the point that he was considered the goon of their team. the two ames boys, once both considered perfect, once identified by the order of their birth, were now classified by good or bad, clean or dirty, pure or sinful.

seventeen, the year in every hockey player’s life that things start to change. the nhl just a dream for them, it becomes more realized as the draft starts to tick down and loom over them. jared, playing badly and antics getting more dramatic as their father focused more on jude, felt his dream slipping from him fast. the scouts eyes, once glued to him at every game they attended, drifted to his little brother now. not even old enough to drink, jared ames was quickly becoming a has-been, before he ever really was something. the boy everyone thought was going to make it didn’t even make it to the draft. jared ames quit playing hockey at the age of nineteen.

judah wouldn’t end up like that, though. david ames promised that to his son and any other parent in the stands that still bothered to listen to his ramblings. judah ames was going to make it. he was perfection, on the ice and off it. most boys, even boys on the same team, were interested in girls, lots even had girlfriends. jude was interested, but he wasn’t allowed to be. boys like that were sinful, they were wrong, they were bad. jude wasn’t allowed a girlfriend, wasn’t even really allowed a friend. everything in his life revolved around hockey, even church as david led prayers for victory before every game. there wasn’t time to think about girls, to think about anything else. even studying was secondary, his grades were only required to be strong enough to let him play every game; the only part of his life that didn’t require perfection.

while jared struggled underneath the pressure, jude endured it, even flourished underneath it. an amazing player, not just in the way he shot and hit and skated, but in his attention to detail and rules. some even said he’d be the next sidney crosby, but jude wouldn’t let himself get intimidated by the comparison. he was good, but he wasn’t that good. he wasn’t perfect, not yet. the comparison he hated was the one to his brother, the older boys on the team that had played with jared before his retirement called jude ‘the replacement’. he hated that word, replacement, even more than the word perfect. his father didn’t help, telling him how he’s so much better than jared ever was, how jude was going to be the one to make it all the way to the top, like it was guaranteed.

the time for jude’s draft started nearing quickly as he entered his senior year of high school. the pressure from his father and his coaches got heavier as the date neared, even his brother (now living in an apartment back in thunder bay) contributing to the worry and excitement. always a dream of his, to make it to the majors, jude finally felt the cracking his brother before him felt. calm and collected on the ice, jude only felt anxiety when he left it every night. his dreams, usually filled with scenes of play, now only showed him a future where he’d end up exactly like jared. he had to make it to the nhl, he needed to make it there, he needed to be good, he needed to be perfect.

the draft finally only days away, jude worked tirelessly in the rink to keep his mind off of it. what if he didn’t get picked? what if he ended up like jared, not even making it to the draft? what if he hated the team he got picked for? oh god, what if he was drafted to montreal! his worries not helped by his father that only ever wanted to talk about the draft, jude spent those last few days wishing he never laced up his skates again that one winter day when he was five.

the draft came in a bubble of excitement and fear. finally the one thing he’d been waiting for his whole life was here. feeling like his stomach was going to cave in on itself, he nearly missed it when his name was finally called. the hershey bears, the ahl affliate of the washington capitals. not exactly what he wanted, preferring something in canada, but not too far from home and not too warm. in the end, jude was just excited to play the sport he loves. he was excited to make it to the draft, unlike his older brother. he was excited to be one step closer to the nhl. most of all, he was excited to be away from his father.

the excitement didn’t last long, however. well, it didn’t last forever. traded from the bears after a year, jude ended up being traded to the chicago wolves at the age of twenty two, settling in for most of his career in the minors. he was still a great player, but the professional leagues are all filled with great players, and he was already beginning to feel like an adult among children when his new teammates after every draft seemed to be getting younger and younger. by the time he was twenty five, jude knew he would likely never make it to the nhl, but he refused to acknowledge it. his father half-held belief in his son, and half-berated him for not yet making his nhl debut; every time they needed a spot filled for a game or two, they called someone else up, and jude had to explain to his father why exactly he wasn’t the best on his team, why the coaches didn’t notice him like they should’ve. the love of the game only carried him so far, and the yearning to be on a major professional team slowly turned to bitter regret. he couldn’t wonder why the ahl wasn’t enough for his father, why it’s not perfect, when he’s convinced of the same.

jude knew that if he wasn’t going to make it by now, he’d never make it to the nhl. traded after a few good years with the wolves, jude moved to iowa and played with the wild for only a season before he decided it was time to retire professionally. he was a star that had diminished, he was just another good player on an okay team, and soon he wouldn’t even be remembered by anyone. deciding not to renew his one year contract with the wild, jude went back to thunder bay, and quickly regretted moving back in with his parents on two fronts: he missed hockey, and he did not miss his father’s rants. 

while his father’s influence lessened from distance and time apart, it was back in full force once he was under their roof again. while he was no longer concerned about staying pure and righteous (partying with hockey players barely out of their teens tends to do that), the thoughts that he was wrong, dirty, sinful started to creep back in. he was not just dirty from the sin of the outside world, he was dirty, stained, a failure. jude was not perfect, never was. just another failure, like his brother jared before him, it was a different sensation to be jealous when he was moping on the couch and watching as his younger brother jacob gathered his equipment in his bag and their father lectured jake about his sloppy skating last practice. he has never missed the pressure from his father before, and he can only hope that jake doesn’t crack underneath the weight now that their father’s hopes and dreams are on him.

after six months of tolerating his father and drifting aimlessly, missing his sport and hating it at the same time, he began to wonder if it was too late to sign that contract with the wild again. he called his own coaches when he knew his father was at his brother’s practices, begged to be signed again, but they told him what they already knew: he was twenty six years old, practically geriatric. there likely wouldn’t be a professional team to sign him, but it didn’t mean he couldn’t still play his beloved (and loathed) sport, and maybe keep a bit of hope alive in his heart that he might, one day, still make it. everyone in the hockey community knows about kingscrest, colorado. it practically generated out ice sports stars as quickly as thunder bay did, and if there was any way he could possibly be scouted for one more final time, it was there. barely letting his parents in on his plan, lest they try to talk him out of it (or worse, support with oppressive enthusiasm), jude made his way to colorado, where he’s been for a year now. 

joining the knights, jude’s a mature player, and any hopes of being noticed or signed to any sort of professional team (god, how much he hated being in the minors, only to be begging christ to let him back on any team, even laval rocket) are kept secret and close to his heart. as far as his teammates know, he’s just an old guy enjoying the ice, reliving his glory days and being a stickler for the rules just as he did in peewee. the desire for perfection is something that he still feels, even if he tries everything in his power to avoid his father’s calls—lest he have to hear his father’s thoughts on the political landscape of america, despite being canadian, but jude already knows he’s not perfect. he knows that this is the end of the line, so he should milk it for everything it’s worth, but the thought of the future is even scarier. once he’s too old to play, his many injuries over the years finally catching up with his body, what else is there to do? once hockey’s gone, what will jude have left?

he’s not perfect, he’s not righteous, he’s not the next gretzky or crosby. but he did make it, even if it was not the nhl. he made it farther than his father or his older brother ever did. he’s free from his father, living by himself and by his own rules, playing the game he’s loved for twenty two years. shouldn’t that be good enough for him? shouldn’t that be perfect?

like every hockey player ever, hockey’s all he talks about. all he thinks about, really. like... constantly. i mean constantly. he really doesn’t have much of a personality outside of it, but it’s not really his fault bc he was taught to be like that by his father.

speaking of his dad. phew. major dad issues for this kid. the voice in his head is his father’s, not his own. has a lot of weird shame about the most random things, and some not-so-random things.

isn’t a virgin, but he acts like one, because he doesn’t want to seem dirty and #sinful, but he’s also just weird and awkward around women... and guys too. just everyone.

sweet but angsty. has a lot of regrets, but doesn’t like to talk about it much. hates being one of the older guys on the team, but he put himself there, and it’s like either be old af or not be on the team at all. doesn’t want to end up like his brother that quit just to sell cars back in the bay.

not actively religious, but still seems like a conservative good ol’ boy because he wears sweaters tucked in WITH a belt. not as innocent as he seems, but still pretty innocent and a little weird. wasn’t homeschooled but kinda seems like he was?

an encyclopedia of hockey rules and super annoying about it. will tattletale on you to the refs if he sees you Being Naughty on the ice, no matter what team you’re on. he’s good to have around if you wanna get an opposing player into the penalty box because if you alert him to it, he’ll go snitch immediately. love my goody two shoes!!

a sales associate at the armory, like half of the team. thinks it may make him look better to the coaches, but also just needs a job. his dad will only pay half, that’s right HALF!!, of his rent so jude works to catch up with that and have very little money on the side. whatever, he still gets to skate, so he should be happy. right? right?!

somewhat dumb, just because he was never encouraged to be smart by his father, just an obedient follower and an obsessive hockey player. can do simple math, but ask him about algebra and he’ll just get annoyed and walk away. 

wanted connections:

fellow teammates: jude plays for the knights, so gimme good friends and better enemies! people he’s competitive with, people he helps/mentors, people he straight up can’t stand or people that can’t stand him.

figure skating friends (and enemies): jude has never been the figure skating type, but he thinks its pretty cool that they can do spins and stuff. he respects the artistry, but still feels a sort of competitiveness with them just from the nature of being two ice sports. so give me friends that he can cheer on, enemies he can roll his eyes at, etc!

just friends in general: he’s a pretty sad boi and very earnest, so he needs someone to chat with! either it can be superficial or maybe they’re close confidants, up to you. :)

roommates: jude rents an apartment in east vale, and while he’s used to being such a canadian WASP, he’s somewhat cut off financially from his parents and needs someone around to help pay the bills. plus he gets lonely at night! can’t sleep in an empty house!!

ex-girlfriend(s): jude’s only been in town for a year and a few months, but that’s enough time to date around. likely this relationship didn’t work out because jude has a lot of hangups about relationships and shame, and his body/sex in general, but there are probably other factors such as that he’s really obsessive about hockey and actually really, really bitter deep down. 22+

[lamphous]

doing both games from @tallsaint​ together to perpetuate this new crossbred tag meme

10 songs I’ve been listening to lately:

“the pretender” by jackson browne — I HAVE LISTENED TO THIS SONG 22 TIMES IN THE PAST TWO WEEKS, I DON’T KNOW WHY, I JUST CAN’T STOP

“people” from funny girl

“a self called nowhere” by they might be giants — swear to god, dudes, this song is about It like the book

“body of years” by mother mother

“jesus was a cross maker” by judee sill — “down where the valley are low” is another wonderful song by her, but I heard this one on a sufjan spotify playlists recently & hoo boy

“the dismemberment song” by blue kid

“lido shuffle” by boz scaggs — I will finally finish halt and catch fire this year if it kills me!!!

“I can’t help myself” by the gems — SONG OF THE CENTURY

I’ve also been listening to the muppet movie soundtrack nonstop since I got back home bc it’s the ultimate roadtrip music

“symphony for a spider planet” by mort garson

and a social distancing meme:

Are you staying home from work/school? yes 😔 and “home” home as well, back with my family in minnesota. I’ve commandeered the unused desk in the living room and stacked my two dozen books there and made a pseudo dc shine in a sad attempt at normality

If you’re staying home, who is with you? my parents and two younger siblings, three of whom are also working from home. hooray.

Who would be your ideal quarantine mate? honestly, my best friend, my roommate, or the girl I have feelings for, in order of increasing impossibility due to physical distance.

Are you a homebody? yes, and even I’m starting to feel it lol. I miss my museums. I miss the library. I miss sitting on benches and watching people go past.

An event you were looking forward to that got canceled? the new welcome to night vale live show! it’s been rescheduled to november, but I was really looking forward to it especially since I’m writing my thesis on architecture in modern horror and even just the premise of this new show promised much to talk about

What movies have you watched recently? this weekend I watched: - john mulaney & the sack lunch bunch (again, with my mom) - also kid gorgeous (again, with my mom) - the cabin in the woods (again) - midsommar - train to busan (again) - bachelor mother - steve jobs - self made: inspired by the life of madam cj walker and my parents & I are planning on doing double features of the docs they did documentary now parodies of + the episodes themselves

What shows are you watching? I just started westworld this morning! and I’m trying to finally finish halt and catch fire: I think about once a year I pick it up again with the intent to see it through, and I love it a lot! I just can never get to the end for some reason

What music are you listening to? the mountain goats, bruce springsteen, mother mother, the funny girl soundtrack inexplicably, pete seeger, candypants, tom rosenthal, the magnetic fields, bad bad hats

What are you reading? I’m currently in the middle of zigzagger by manuel munoz, the subtle knife by philip pullman, old futures: speculative fiction and queer possibility by alexis lothian, and the wrath of khan novelization for classes, plus the poetics of space by gaston bachelard and it again for my thesis next year and danny lavery’s new book something that may shock and discredit you for fun when I can

What are you doing for self-care? I’m working on, like, five separate scary clown movie fics simultaneously. there’s a very stupid 107+ page pair of 5+1s abt physical/emotional intimacy that I’ve been working on since mid-november, a stupid stan resurrection plot one about princess bride narrative mechanics and suicidal ideation, another stand-up special transcript, and a very VERY dumb au of company, y’know, the musical. this is my idea of self care.

I tag whoever wants! We Are All starved for human interaction & love talking about ourselves

[onelichtwolich]

GET TO KNOW THE BLOGGER.

can be used for RP  &&  non-RP blogs to get to know a bit about the person behind the screen

1. FIRST NAME: Alex

2. STRANGE FACT ABOUT YOURSELF: sometimes i can walk in dreams, sometimes i can’t, sometimes it changes halfway in the dream. i guess that’s not that strange but idk.

3. TOP THREE PHYSICAL THINGS YOU FIND ATTRACTIVE ON A PERSON: cute/pretty smiles are good yes, lipstick, long pretty hair. i have v femme taste. that said, i’m not overly physical, so this is a question that gives me a bit of pause.

4. A FOOD YOU COULD EAT FOREVER AND NOT GET BORED OF: pizza!! im known for this in my family. it’s my birthday meal every year.

5. A FOOD YOU HATE: mashed potatoes and gravy. yes, there is a backstory to this and no, i can’t stomach gravy in literally any context. ugh.

6. GUILTY PLEASURE: trying to discard the “guilt,” as cringe isn’t real, but i’m apparently a sucker for dating sims.

7. WHAT DO YOU SLEEP IN:  usually just a t-shirt and underroos. rn, it’s my creepy deer “Welcome to Night Vale” t-shirt.

8. SERIOUS RELATIONSHIPS OR FLINGS: no. not rn.

9. IF YOU COULD GO BACK IN THE PAST AND CHANGE ONE THING ABOUT YOUR LIFE  ,  WOULD YOU AND WHAT WOULD IT BE: mmm, i dunno. most of the traumatic stuff about my life i couldn’t control or change, so there’s kinda no point. plus it might change the present too much.

10. ARE YOU AN AFFECTIONATE PERSON: natch. <3 v much so. come from a v affectionate house.

11. A MOVIE YOU COULD WATCH OVER AND OVER AGAIN: moana. <3 always brings me comfort and peace.

12. FAVORITE BOOK: “good omens: the nice and accurate prophecies of agnes nuttter, witch” by terry pratchett & neil gaiman. i collect different copies and editions of it and it’s held me together since i was 15.

13. YOU HAVE THE OPPORTUNITY TO KEEP ANY ANIMAL AS A PET, WHAT DO YOU CHOOSE: i’m good w my baby Deemsy. she’s the best kitty in the entire world. i have no need for any exotic pets. <3

14. TOP FIVE FICTIONAL SHIPS  ( IF YOU ARE AN RP BLOG ,  YOU CAN USE YOUR OWN SHIPS AS WELL):  blupjeans, taakitz, davenchurch altho literally just Let Merle Have Every Boyfriend, ducknerva, i rly like rainer/fitzroy but idk if there’s a ship name.

15. PIE OR CAKE: pie is superior in every way baybee. never 2 riched out by a pie.

16. FAVORITE SCENT:  bubblegum w a hint of cinnamon. one of our candles growing up smelled like this and i think abt it constantly.

17. CELEBRITY CRUSH: regina spektor got me 2 realize i was into girls and still represents a lot of my Taste even 14 yrs later.

18. IF YOU COULD TRAVEL ANYWHERE, WHERE WOULD YOU GO: it’s always Disney World. i just love it so much even tho i get overwhelmed LMAO,,, either that or a TAZ show... i’ve also always wanted to go to the San Diego Comic Con.

19. INTROVERT OR EXTROVERT: introvert but a lot of ppl say i have an extroverted side or i just need to be around the right people. 

20. DO YOU SCARE EASILY: that would be a yes; i have an anxiety disorder, chief.

21. IPHONE OR ANDROID: iphone, baybee.

22. DO YOU PLAY ANY VIDEO GAMES: ya. mostly Pokemon and the Sims. excited 2 play Animal Crossing a lot too tho and i have played over 100 hrs of Undertale, of course.

23. DREAM JOB: mmm, dunno. author? disability rights activist? probably.

24. WHAT WOULD YOU DO WITH A MILLION DOLLARS: make sure my family and friends are well taken care of, help ppl who are struggling, prob make way too many geeky purchases.. buy a highly accessible house to live in..

25. FICTIONAL CHARACTER YOU HATE: nnnnot a fan of Jasper from “Steven Universe,” though her role is important.

26. FANDOM THAT YOU WERE ONCE A PART OF BUT AREN’T ANY LONGER: “Superjail!” the adult swim cartoon. yyyup LMAO.

tagging YOU... stolen from the lovely @spiderstaff​

[hanjisungz-remade]

🌻 ! also britt ! i recently started a notebook where all i write down are random questions that come to mind 📖 it’s really handy to just pull out in the middle of lecture, when i’m laying in bed thinking, walking to class, eating, literally Whenever i just write it down ! then later on in my life i’ll be able to look back at what i was thinking abt n see if i know any of the answers yet ! i really enjoy it n i think it would be cool for u too hehhe 💕💞💓 love n peace ! -vale💌

omg i actually have a google doc where i have those and luckily enough i have my phone or laptop w me always so i can write stuff down but yes !!! its so interesting to write those things down and see what you thought of a year ago 🙇🏻‍♀️ also ily too angel !!! i hope you have a wonderful day/night 💌🌙

so i was walking to my college classes one day and the college was right across the street from my high school so it was like a 5-10 min walk ?? but my school was full of uhhh Not Good People (fights, group fight, injuries, skipping, etc) so one day i was walking across the street to the college and a cop stops me and goes ‘i know youre skipping class, come with me’ and im like ‘lmao no thanks im not going anywhere, im going to class’ and he still didnt believe me so i had to legit take him to my class to show him im actually enrolled there and not skipping like sir pls back tf off 

[petrichorvoices]

okay okay so yall keep posting abt wtnv(is that the right acronym?) and like. what. is it? a tv show? a book? also i need a synopsis chjznc if i get to know what its abt then ill gibe you some kittis ^^

it's a podcast!!!! it's about a strange desert town called Night Vale where every conspiracy theory is true, if i remember that right. the podcast is presented as a radio show; everything is narrated by Cecil Palmer as he delivers the news, talks about his personal life, all of that fun stuff. every so often another person is brought on to voice act, with the idea being that their character is on air as well

Night Vale itself is a pretty authoritarian place, with constant surveillance and secret police, but it's all presented in a comical and satirical way. while yes, WTNV's setting and a lot of the premises are horror, most of the episodes don't present it to be, well, horror, at least not on first listen. the characters are pretty much all well-adjusted to the town, and Cecil is an unreliable narrator to boot so everything is presented as fine and normal

the first episode has an outsider, Carlos the Scientist, come to town in order to study it, and from there the plot kicks off. WTNV provided well-written gay characters back in 2012 and hasn't dropped the ball since, continuing to write queer characters without ever reducing them to just their queerness nor treating them like they're fragile and the characters have to be perfect good people just because they're queer, a quality of rep that i still struggle to find elsewhere

anyway, not that i'm biased, but i completely recommend it

[ethospathoslogan]

(Comments on all your other conversations, sorry) Did you ever get into the Lovecraftian kind of weird horror? Night Vale is so up that alley. (By the way, Night Vale or Desert Bluffs, double of mine?) But I feel you on the podcasts, I've been trying to get into a D&D podcast at the behest of my friends and I can't for the life of me. Also your little conversation with that other anon got me all mad about Noah's plotline again so thanks I guess! -doppleganger

catch me responding to this days late bc i’m literally the worst person ever

tbh i don’t think i’ve gotten into anything lovecraftian??? tbh i Need to get back into nightvale, and nightvale has a special place in my heart but the concept of desert bluffs, being this seemingly positive place that is actually a hellish nightmare, is like my favorite trope ever

AND YES I FEEL YOUR NOAH PAIN like i will admit, i was just so happy that gansey like, you know, so i didn’t really pay attention but i love noah so much and :’( i just at least hope that the gangsey remembers him and that they tell henry abt him

[soledadcatalina]

5 10 15 20

5) how often do people (not family members) tell you they love you

almost daily, and i owe a lot of that to my wonderful girlfriend!

10) do you believe in ghosts

i think at this point im open to most concepts of ghosts and the ideas of afterlives but im not really superstitious so ive never been like either fully paranoid or fully pro-ghost fucker tbh

15) what is your favorite memory

ah jeez, there have been a lot of big events in my life. like i love that live night vale show and i enjoyed both proms ive been to and other milestones growing up but i get really caught up in the lil shit

like remembering some moments with my late nanay when me and my brother stayed over at her house, and i miss those things dearly. there’s vivid memories of every house pet my family owned, cats, dogs, fish and hamsters. and of course there’s all the soft moments where i get to relax and be myself when im with frances, even tho im like That crybaby bitch who gets sooooo overwhelmed abt being SO gay with her

20) do you feel loved

yes, i do

[friendlyneighbourhoodlucifer]

i got tagged to do this by @radioactivebroccoli

Tell us your favorite character from 10 different fandoms & then tag ten people

(now, it doesn’t say i should give motivations for which characters i chose but i will anywas bc why the heck not)

Harry Potter – Harry Potter

Now see, i’m a sheeple and i tend to enjoy the main character in the media i enjoy, that’s just life sometimes ok, and like i wouldn’t spend all those years reading books and watching movies abt a character i didn’t like and feel with and shit. And like obvs I like herm and ron and the others but like they’re not harry ok let me live (also idk how hard we are on this “one character per fandom thing” and if harry potter and avps are the same fandom bc if not, my fav avpm character is Voldemort)

 Pearl – Steven Universe

She’s trying so hard ok and she’s grown so much and she’s such a repressed gay nerd but like she also was co-leader of a rebellion and she’s poofed so many gems and like she’s so selfish but also selfless and, like, every single character in steven universe is amazing in their own way and like just fkn watch the show my dudes

 Tina Belcher – Bob’s Burgers

Tina is such a teen girl ok and I love her so much for it, like do you ever hear that shit abt how teenage girls are too passionate and weird and people call everything they do ugly and they act like their feelings are in some way a personal offence to society and then someone like tina fucking exists and feels and acts and is confident and insecure and weird and amazing, fuck dude

 Blue Sargent – the Raven Cycle

Ok so like this weird thing happens when you only watch visual media and like things that are made in like the us and maybe the uk where men are like 90% of everything and women are so unrelateable ffs, And then you like read a book again bc like you haven’t read books in forever bc mental health am I right, and then the female character is just so darn likeable, in like the way where it’s not that she’s perfect, it’s just that she’s a person, and she’s so cool ok Blue is /so cool/ and smart and she has good believable opinions and like I wanna be her and also u know maybe make out with her when she turns like 22 or something

 Jake Peralta – Brooklyn 99

Ok so b99 has so many good characters, it’s such a good show and like I do love amy and rosa and gina and charles and the gang but like jake is so well arched and funny and enjoyable ok he’s just so easy to watch and like espec in these later episodes and he’s really nice as a funny asshole-ish dude-character that’s not actually offensive (mostly there might be some fat-jokes in there but that’s more the fault of the show and not a thing that’s part of the character)

 Gayle Waters-Waters – Gayle

Sometimes you don’t really like a character but like it’s still 100% ur fav bc u just wanna watch them forever like yeah she’s horrible but I love it, watch gayle on youtube kiddos

 Guinevere– Merlin (bbc)

She’s so kind and strong ok and she did so much to shape Arthur and like yeah I ship merthur as much as the next one but like I can still love the heck out of gwen outside her relationship with Arthur and I do think the love story was beautiful ok, I did, my heart might often be cold towards the ~romantic~ stuff but like she deserved it so much and I would 100% watch anything more with angel as gwen ok she was so good for the role and while on the topic of romantic shit her and morgana was the shit, honestly, the stuff with morgana breaking gwen in the tower was the saddest betrayal in the entire series ok frick, and like ok if ur gonna watch merlin, or rewatch it, do it and watch is as the story of gwen ok, she’s just as much the hero and she has a hero’s story just as much as merlin and Arthur

 Steve Rogers – Marvel

So I’ll be the first to admit that I do not know all that much abt comics canons or even that much abt the mcu, I watched the first avenger and then avengers and winter soldier and like yeah I love that steve at times but the steve I really love is my head version that’s based on fics and different posts and headcanons and shit, that’s how we do it up in here ok, and for a character called captain America who’s almost made to be a beacon of hope, a symbol, I really think it’s kinda ok to make that symbol mean something unique to u ya feel. And ok I know peeps have different opinions abt what kind of heroes they like, and like yeah I like a good chosen one obvs but steve is just so fkn heroic ok he chose this life and he’s doing it and no one could tell him he has to really like the world will not really end if he just fucks off but he still does everything he’s such a saviour ok also he’s a lil’ shit, love him (sam is missing out on this spot only bc he wasn’t in the first movie like I already loved steve when I saw sam but rest assured I love the heck out of sam too)

 Cecil Palmer – Night Vale

I’m so fond of cecil, like sometimes I don’t like him and I want to fight him with a wooden spoon, but he’s one of those characters where the fondness you feel for them stems from the way they act and feel, more than their opinions (which is like a whole other thing that is so weird on tumblr, like how you are almost expected to look at people as a bundle of opinions and like or dislike them based on that but w/e that’s not what we’re talking bout here) and idk, just a solid good character

 Miss Marple – Agatha Christie

Idk dude it’s a comfort thing

i tag: anyone who wants to do it, yes i know that’s cheating but when ur out ur out u feel let me live

[cyberpawn-arc]

topic: how vale feels abt arasaka pre and post plot of the game

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It's like two sides of a coin. Two sides of a real bad coin, because neither side was good in the first place. It's like if Two-Face was flippin' a coin that was just scarred on both sides, no way of a good ending here. But yeah!! Pre-Game, Vale still really hated Arasaka! As a kiddo who was raised on the music of Johnny Silverhand and Jack Entropy, Vale was more than happy living in their world where they go to listen to anti-corpo tunes every day that ended in Y. Pre-Game, you could frequently find Vale out on a street corner by an Arasaka building, spouting off all the god awful truths they knew about Arasaka's corruption. They'd only get stopped when they either got the shit kicked out of them or if the NCPD got called on them and arrested them. Yeah, that uh, that meant lots of stressful nights for Jack when he got a call that his kiddo was in a holding cell.

Post game, that hatred turns into absolute loathing for anything that stands by Arasaka. Vale nearly lost their life time after time thanks to Arasaka, and that's not even the part that pisses Vale off. It's the Relic. It's the fact that Vale knows that people could have lost their lives, lost their peaceful end, lost everything to Arasaka. That if Vale didn't take the bullet and getting clapped with the Relic in their brain, they knew anyone could have been the unlucky guinea pig. Vale became a martyr that should never have existed in the first place. And, of course, Vale had some dabblings of Johnny in their blood. Their brain shared a lot of time with Johnny, which meant even more hatred for Arasaka than ever before. This means way less just yelling on street corners and more. Direct action. Maybe even some fights and encounters with Arasaka employees vaguely reminiscent of the Steel Dragons' work! >:3c

But yes. Vale is no longer asking for Arasaka to get tanked.