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jaeminlore · 5 years

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Leap of Faith | Jaemin

summary: jaemin is spider-man. he’s also in over his head, and head over heels in love with you.

words: 7.6k+

category: ps4!spidey universe, fluff, angst, bad writing

warning(s): brief mentions of blood, fighting, and threats

a/n: you don’t have to have played the game to read this story. but if you did play the game, yes, i changed the outcome of **** *** because i’m selfish.

The streets of Brooklyn seem almost dead at midnight. You walk to your apartment, one earbud in while the other hangs off and bounces against your name tag every few seconds. Clack, clack, clack...

You ignore it and focus on the beat of the drums that play through your head. Work was rough, and the weather seems rougher as white breaths surge through your lips. Winter feels horrible here, and walking home during the cold and dark season is not — and never was — your first choice of transportation. However, the subway is sketchy around this time, and you feel like you’ll fend better on the streets. Your apartment is in a well-lit area anyways, so who would try anything?

Clack, clack, clack... thud!

Nearby, a trashcan falls to the ground. The clatter alerts a nearby alley cat, who runs across the road towards safety. Trash falls across the ground. You keep walking.

You reach your apartment safely, but you don’t let out a breath of relief until you’re in your living room with the door locked behind you.

Then you turn on the light and see that everything in the room has been ransacked, and your pet cat is nowhere to be seen. Drawers and cushions are scattered across the linoleum, and all your clutter is, well, cluttering up any free space. You notice an old MCR cd and focus on it as you try to figure out what’s going on.

The first thing you do is pull your cellphone out of your pocket and dial 911. It rings once, twice, then “911, what’s your emergency?”

“My apartment has been—“ your phone flies across the room. You shriek in fear when it crackles with electricity. It drops to the floor and you watch as it glitches a few times before turning off completely.

“Oops.” Timidly, the culprit appears, and it’s Spider-Man. The actual Spider-Man, with his red suit and tall stature. Your eyes focus on the large white spider that spans across his chest. Was that always there? You don’t think so. Maybe it’s an upgrade.

You still don’t know what he’s doing in your house.

Well, right now he’s shaking his hands, letting a few crackling strings of web fall to your floor. “I didn’t mean to use my electronic webs. I’ll buy you a new one.”

You blink. “What are you doing here? Did you mess up my place?”

“No!” Then he looks guilty. Well, his mask looks guilty (you aren’t sure how that’s possible). “I mean, I didn’t do it alone. I certainly didn’t mean to ransack your place specifically it’s just... me and my friend were roughhousing and it got out of hand.”

“Just say you were fighting bad guys in my house and go.” You grumble and make your way to the fridge, where the frozen pizza you bought is luckily still residing. “Why can’t you take your fights into the street? Or, like, not in someone’s home?”

“I’m sorry,” he says. “I really didn’t mean to. I can’t exactly control where the fights go. I’ll be more careful next time.”

“I hope there won’t be a next time,” you say honestly. “My insurance is pretty nonexistent.”

“Can I bring someone to help you fix the place?” His voice sounds shameful.

You’re upset that there’s a giant dent in your cabinets, but you don’t doubt that Spider-Man’s intentions were good. “I think I can handle myself. Thank you for getting your, uh, friend, out of my house.”

“It was Hammerhead,” Spider-man says goofily. “And no problem!”

You slip the pizza in the oven and when you turn around, Spider-man is gone. Nothing but an open window and a gentle breeze is left as evidence that he was even here.

Well, except for your destroyed kitchen. You sigh and close your window, flicking the lock. “Be safe,” you whisper against the cool glass.

🕷️

The broken cellphone looks even worse under Octavius Labs’ fluorescent lighting. You grimace, wondering if you could somehow get this fixed before your mother gets worried that you aren’t answering her calls. Luckily, Octavius Labs is pretty famous in Greenwich for its kind scientist and his assistant, who will almost always fix something for little to no cost.

Dr. Octavius must be out, seeing as his assistant is the only one in the lab when you enter. You’re pretty sure his name is Jaemin. You’ve seen him around, especially when his Aunt May owns the F.E.A.S.T. Shelter in Chinatown that you work at. Jaemin is known for making quick friends of the occupants there. He makes many of them feel comfortable and safe. He is exceptionally well at it.

He’s dressed in his usual: jeans and a too-long sweater. The only thing that’s distinctive about the outfit are his bright red Converse, scuffed beyond repair. His back is turned to you, and all his attention seems to be focused on the desk in front of him. You notice he’s sewing some kind of cloth — red and blue — together. Maybe he’s patching up a hoodie? Or some kind of electrical blanket?

You clear your throat.

He jumps, and the cloth is so quickly hidden away that you wonder if it was even there in the first place. Jaemin turns around and leans against the desk casually. “H-Hi.”

You don’t think you’ve ever been this close to him, but in this cramped lab, you can see the soft brown curls that threaten his eyes. You can see his shiny white teeth, partly hidden behind chapped lips. He’s pretty; boyishly pretty, part of you thinks.

“Hey,” you say, confused by his not-so-secret secrecy. “Uh, do you, uh, know how to fix a phone?“

The boy winces when you hold up your phone in all it’s glitching glory. “What happened?”

You think about the masked stranger in your dorm last night. “I don’t think you’d believe me if I told you.”

Jaemin lets out a laugh that sounds a little too forced. “That bad, huh?” But he doesn’t question you any further. “I can probably have this done before the week is over.”

You sigh in relief. “Thanks so much, Jaemin. I owe you one.”

“Don’t worry about it.” His eyes are leveled, lips drawn in a thin line. “Really.”

🕷️

Ever since the last bust at Rikers, Jaemin has been resuming his duty as friendly neighborhood Spider-Man. As exciting as huge battles are, battling five arch nemesis’ at once can take a lot out of a man. Jaemin thinks he has had enough broken bones to last him a lifetime. Or at the least, the next few years.

He’s perched atop Octavius Labs, listening to his headset spout off different crimes throughout the city. Sometimes he wishes that — despite the famous saying — the city would sleep. Just for a few hours. Enough for him to take a nap, or find a job more stable than Octavius Labs, or go on a date.

He scoffs at himself. “Date. As if anyone would deal with my secretive nature and inconsistent schedule.”

His earpiece beeps. He presses the call button. “Hey, Aunt May.”

“Jaemin, uh, sorry—“ the voice that comes through is flustered, but Jaemin knows he’s heard it before. “—it’s Y/n, from F.E.A.S.T.? Anyway I was just gonna let you know that I took the night shift here, and May said you might come by. I was just thinking that you could bring the phone?”

Each word sounds more nervous than the last. Jaemin is already swinging towards Chinatown when he replies. “Yeah, no problem! I’ll bring it by.”

He wonders why you sound so nervous when he’s the one who tore up your apartment and broke your phone. Not that you knew it was him, but still. His guilt should trump your nerves.

He drops onto the roof of F.E.A.S.T. and extracts the backpack he has webbed to the underside of the air conditioning unit. He quickly slides his sweater and jeans over his suit before tucking his mask in the bag. He hastily runs his fingers through his hair in an effort to look presentable, and then he’s walking down the fire escape and entering F.E.A.S.T. through the front door.

F.E.A.S.T. is essentially a giant gymnasium, with beds and chairs and tables all scattered around for whoever is occupying them at the moment. Jaemin figures Aunt May is either in the kitchen or in her office, but he finds you at a table, playing chess with an older woman. “Y/n, I brought your phone.”

You look up from the checkered board. Your cheeks are still rosy from the chilly air, and your hair — albeit tied up — is rather windswept. There’s one strand that hangs just over your eyes, and it makes him want to tuck it back behind your ear. Then he thinks that sounds too intimate, too weird when he’s just the boy who broke your phone.

Then you’re tucking your hair behind your ear by yourself, and the moment is gone. “Thanks! How’d you fix it so fast?”

Jaemin’s neck feels hot when you smile at him like that. “I-It was nothing, really.” He doesn’t want to admit that he nearly wiped out your entire cloud, and it took him a good few hours and a few deep dives into reddit forums to figure out how to get it back. He’s still working on getting the hang of his new web designs. It was extremely unfortunate that Hammerhead insisted on fighting inside of your apartment. In retrospect, you’re lucky Hammerhead didn’t decide to ram through your wall.

“Of course it is! You saved me a lot of money and time.” You reach out and squeeze Jaemin’s arm reassuringly. “I know I probably interrupted whatever you were working on, so is there any way I can thank you? Maybe take you out for pizza?”

Jaemin nearly denies, because he knows this scenario all too well: someone nice shows the littlest amount of interest in him, and he ruins it because of his spidey schedule. He knows what’s gonna happen. You’re gonna schedule a time for pizza, and he’s gonna get a dispatch call, and while he’s stopping thugs from holding up a gas station, you’ll be leaving the pizza place, vowing to never call him again.

It always happens like that, because he can’t be Spider-man and lead a normal life. He’s tried. He’s failed. Horribly. Multiple times. He’s not ready to do it again.

But then May is sidling up to the two of you, and her eyes are sparkling in a way they haven’t for a few months. “Jaemin would love to go out with you! Gosh, it’s been years since he went out with someone his own age.”

You squeeze his arm again, and Jaemin knows it’s supposed to be reassuring but it’s dizzying more than anything, and he blinks a few times before he remembers where he is. He’s at F.E.A.S.T., with you, and his Aunt has just set him up for a date. Wait, a friendship get-together. Not a date. Because Spider-man doesn’t date, and that means that Na Jaemin doesn’t date.

You seem all too excited about the thought of pizza, and it makes Jaemin’s heart ache when he thinks of your pretty lips turned into a frown once you realize he’s stood you up. But he thinks you might give him the same look if he says no. “Okay. How’s tonight, after your shift?”

“Great!” Then you let go of his arm, and you’re walking away, and Aunt May has this look on her face like she knows.

So Jaemin blushes. “I’m gonna go for a walk.”

🕷️

He doesn’t go for a walk, he goes for a wall-crawl downtown, patrolling the streets as the day turns to the dawn. He put his number into your phone when he fixed it, so it’s really up to you to drop a call whenever your shift is over. He prays that until then no call comes in. He prays that for once this city’s police force can hold their own. Just until he can get pizza with you.

He thinks of this pizza when he swings towards Central Park and stops a mugger from taking a lady’s purse. He thinks of your clear and happy eyes when he rescues a cat from a tree. He thinks that he’d really like to hear your soft giggle again, because he’s almost forgotten it, and he’s sure it’s a nicer sound than cars honking and men cursing.

Jaemin makes a joke to a robber just as the man getting pushed into a cop car, and then his phone rings. It’s Yuri, alerting him of some illegal gun trade in Brooklyn. It makes him worry, wondering if it’s anywhere near your apartment and if it’s safe for you to go home.

Someone called him while he was on the phone with Yuri, and he checks his voicemails to hear your sweet voice. “Hey, Jaemin. It’s me again. Y/n, that is. I don’t think you’ve forgotten me but I don’t know how many people you talk to. Does that sound weird? Sorry. Anyways, I was thinking we could just order pizza and eat it at F.E.A.S.T during my ten o’clock break? I know it’s late but just... just let me know, Jaemin. Thanks.”

Jaemin wants to go. He can make it too, if he busts this trade quickly.

He’s Spider-man, so he thinks he might be able to do it, but he’s also Na Jaemin. And Jaemin is bad at time management and even worse at relationships.

The clock strikes ten o’clock and he’s still trying to get through the intricate ventilation system. He curses under his breath; he feels angry at himself once again for breaking a promise, but there’s a city at stake.

There’s no telling where those guns will go; who they will hurt. If he can get to them in time and destroy the guns, everything will be worth it. Even breaking up a relationship before it even starts.

🕷️

He reaches F.E.A.S.T. just before the clock strikes midnight. His suit is covered by civilian clothes. His mask is tucked away in his messenger bag. The guns are all destroyed.

You walk out of the back door just as Jaemin is about to walk in. “Oh. Hey.”

He feels nervous again. That jittery feeling in his chest is back, but it’s smothered by guilt. “I’m so, so sorry. I promise I didn’t mean to be so late. Something came up and—“

“It’s okay,” you say. “I wasn’t even sure if you’d get the voicemail, so don’t sweat it.”

Jaemin is sweating it. Literally. He can feel the perspiration creep up where his suit meets his skin. His heart is beating fast again. His palms are warm. “Still... I’m sorry. Can I make it up to you? Walk you home, maybe?”

“How about you walk me to my train?” You smile softly, “I’m taking Q at Canal Street Station.”

“Yeah,” Jaemin breathes, “I can do that.”

He spends most of the walk trying to keep his heart from bursting out of his chest. Once he can hear over his heartbeat, he realizes you’re telling him about your day.

“May said we’re getting more people the colder it gets,” you start. “Which is a good thing, I suppose. It’s better they stay at F.E.A.S.T. than out on the streets, but we still need more volunteers. I was thinking of staying over a few nights, so that May will get the nights off, but I have classes and an apartment to keep up, so I don’t know.”

“What are your classes for?”

“Teaching,” you reply. Your cheeks are suddenly dusted with pink under the streetlight.

“Oh yeah? What for?”

“Just early childhood education. Preschool or daycare or something like that, you know? Nothing special.”

“Nothing special?” Jaemin scoffs. “That’s like, the most important job in the whole world. Teachers shape kid’s lives. They’re like, modern day heroes.”

“I think our friendly neighborhood Spider-Man took that role already,” you say.

“Right.” Jaemin suddenly feels hot under his hoodie. He’s hoping desperately that you don’t notice the red, white, and blue suit just underneath his clothing. “What do you, uh, think of him. Spider-man, I mean?”

“Funny you should ask,” you mutter. “You might not believe this, but he’s the one who broke my phone.”

Jaemin feels a thin sheen of sweat line his suit. “No way.”

“Yeah,” you mutter, “I’m just glad you were able to fix it.”

“It was the least I could do.” For ruining your apartment. For breaking it in the first place.

Jaemin’s earpiece beeps. He pretends to scratch his ear as he answers the call. “Spider-Man, did you miss me?”

He nearly groans out loud before remembering where he is. He quickly mutes the call just as you reach your building. “Goodnight, then. Have sweet dreams.”

You smile softly, and Jaemin can’t help but return it. “See you later?”

Jaemin nods. “Yeah! Yeah, of course.”

As soon as the door closes behind you, he unmutes the earpiece. “What do you want, Screwball?”

The girl cackles through the comm. “Welcome to the grand show, Spidey! Today’s challenge is stopping the Brooklyn Bridge from blowing up! But not before you answer my riddles, and find the bombs!”

🕷️

A late night commercial is a murmur in your living room as you continue to study. You don’t have any classes or work tomorrow, so you figure pulling an all-nighter won’t hurt anything. You’ll sleep in tomorrow and then head to the store with the list of supplies May emailed you. You know she’s been overworked as winter draws nearer, so it’s the least you can do after she’s given you the day off.

The commercial ends, and it’s replaced by the late night news. You reach for the remote to turn it off, but pause when they mention Spider-Man. You turn it up. “... Screwball is a well-known adversary to Spider-Man, always creating challenges to stream live. Tonight, bombs were planted under the Brooklyn Bridge, and while police filed to the area immediately, they were unable to find the explosives. Spider-Man managed to crawl under the bridge and dispose of them just in time, throwing them toward the sky and webbing them so that they blew up out of harms way. Twitter blew up over the surprise fireworks, while Screwball was quickly found and arrested. Reports say her lawyer is willing to fight under the grounds that Screwball herself didn’t plant the bombs, only live-streamed Spider-Man’s mission. Her identity is still remaining a secret, but rest assured, she’s locked up tonight...”

The television clicks off as soon as you hear a knock on your window. Keeping the remote in your hand, you raise it above your head and quickly pull the curtain aside. You nearly shriek at the sight of Spider-Man himself, all dressed in red and blue.

You raise the windowpane. “What’s going on?”

“Aw, you didn’t miss me?” Spider-Man leans his hip against the sill and you swear you can hear a smile in his voice. He quickly straightens up. “Actually, I came to make sure your phone was okay, and that no one has broken in.”

“Since you broke in, you mean?” you quip, lowering the remote. “I’m fine. My friend fixed it, actually.”

“Oh, that’s cool.”

You grin. “Yeah, it was cool of him to do it for free. So... this Screwball business, huh?”

Spider-Man lightly taps his forehead against the fire escape. “She’s killing me. She uses all these loopholes to basically stay out of Rikers. Stupid, really.”

He moves backwards, and then winces suddenly.

“What’s wrong?” You don’t know why you feel so concerned. After all, Spider-Man has done nothing for you except break your phone and give you a minimum of two heart attacks. Still, he did come to check on you (a week late.)

“Nothing,” Spider-Man says. “Just sore from all the swinging. I’ll go home and take a soothing bubble bath before I get back into the swing of things.” He — his mask? — winks at you.

It was such a stupid pun that you couldn’t help but smile. “Okay, well good luck with that.”

He’s gone after that. He shoots a web at the building across the street and swings away, like some kind of phantom. You wait until you can’t see him anymore before closing the window.

You get back to your studying, thinking only briefly about the web-crawler.

Because really, what he heck was he doing here?

🕷️

When you wake up at noon, you check your email. Then you see that Jaemin sent you a text, asking if he could come along on the shopping trip. May must’ve told him about her plans for you.

You tell him to meet you at F.E.A.S.T. in an hour, which is just enough time to eat and get ready.

Jaemin is a very cute boy. Especially when he wears his oversized blue sweater brandishing Octavius Labs’ logo. His wire-rimmed glasses keep slipping off his nose as he talks to Miles, another volunteer-slash-worker at F.E.A.S.T., and he keeps pushing them up absentmindedly. You kind of want to take a picture and keep the visual forever. But Miles peaks over Jaemin’s shoulder and notices you. “Y/n! Hey!”

“Hi, Miles.” You wave gently and sidle up to Jaemin. “Thanks for working on a weekend so I could have the day off.”

“No biggie,” Miles returns with a nonchalant wave. “Jaemin wouldn’t forgive me if I took the opportunity of spending the day with you away.”

Jaemin’s gaze flicks towards you, and his cheeks suddenly turn red. “I thought you’d need help.”

Your cheeks lift as you smile. “I appreciate it, Jaemin. You ready?”

The two of you make it to a department store, where you stock up on the clearance blankets and pillows. May has a budget for F.E.A.S.T., and you and Jaemin intend to get as much stuff as you can with it. You pick up a small plushie shaped like Spider-Man and nearly make a quip about last night before Jaemin gets a text alert.

He checks it and groans.

“What’s wrong?” You peak over his shoulder and glance down at the text. It’s a news alert, and the news is that Screwball has been tweeting about another challenge for the masked hero. “Again? This soon?”

Jaemin pulls his aunt’s credit card out of his wallet and hands it to you. “You can finish the list, right? I’ve gotta go.”

“Wait—“ you grab his sleeve before you can think. “Why?”

“I— uh—“ Jaemin grimaces. “I forgot I had to be at the lab. I have, uh, a project I need to finish by tonight and I’m afraid I might not make the deadline.”

“Oh, okay,” you whisper, feeling insecure all of a sudden. He’s lying, that much you know, but you don’t know why he feels he needs to lie to you.

He walks out of the store, and you finish shopping for the list.

You return it to F.E.A.S.T., ignoring the blare of the television as it covers yet another one of Screwball’s schemes. As you hand out blankets, you ignore the sick feeling in your stomach.

How much of these challenges can Spider-Man take before he fails?

🕷️

That night feels like déjà vu. Another knock comes at your window, and this time, you let Spider-Man into your apartment. He’s groaning in pain, so you ease him into a sitting position at your table.

You’re in the middle of making him tea when he speaks. “The challenges are getting harder. She’s timing them now, and the police still can’t find a real reason to keep her in jail for longer than a day. I think she’s in for a week for this one though, so that gives me a break.” He accepts the tea with a quiet thanks.

You watch in silence as he lifts his mask up just above his top lip, enough to take a small sip from the mug. His mouth looks familiar, but you can’t really place it. Besides, he pulls his mask down after every sip, so it’s not exactly easy to tell. “Can’t you just ignore her? Won’t she go away if you let the FBI handle it? It would make it less fun for her, right?”

Spider-Man leans his head against his palm and let’s out a long sigh. “I’ve never been able to trust those guys.”

“Okay, what about Sable?”

“Ew, worse.”

“I figured, but wouldn’t it be better for them to take the fall instead of you?”

Spider-Man lets a bitter laugh escape him, “I’d have to take the fall no matter who Screwball challenged. Jameson would certainly talk about it over his stupid radio show that everyone seems to believe—“

“I don’t,” you say, because it’s important that he knows. It’s hard to see someone who is clearly just as young as you, risking his life every day. “Anyone with half a braincell can see that you’re doing your best.”

“But is it enough?” Spider-Man says. “Because Screwball nearly flooded the Rockefeller Center today. And that’s certainly not as bad as blowing up a bridge but after a week in prison? She’ll have a horrible plan, I know. And I don’t know if I can keep up. It’s creeping into my personal life, too.”

“What do you mean?”

Spider-Man takes an anxious sip of chamomile tea. “There’s this... friend. And I kind of really like them, but keeping my secret— my life, basically from them is really hard. I would love to tell everyone close to me, you know? But it’s such a huge risk. If anyone knew who I found important— if Screwball knew...”

“I understand.” Your words are barely comprehensible. You reach forward and grab the boy’s gloved hand. It looks kind of silly: his bright red gloves again your bare skin. But it also looks like your hands belong there; together.

Spider-Man swings away within the hour, but your mind stays fixed on him deep into the night.

🕷️

The next time Jaemin has free time, he visits you at F.E.A.S.T. Today you’re supervising the children that live there, as they paint pictures.

“Hey,” Jaemin whispers.

You turn towards him, a bright smile on your face and pink paint on your cheek.

Suddenly Jaemin feels too warm under his lavender sweater. “This is a cute little class. Is it new?”

“Well, May’s driving a bus full of adults to the job fair across town. I needed something to keep the kids distracted until their parents came home.”

“Do you need help?” Jaemin asks, looking around. “Is Miles here?”

“He said he has extracurricular activities,” you shrug. “It’s okay, we’re having fun.”

Jaemin gets along with the kids well enough. They like him as long as he complements them on their paintings. There’s even a little girl that seems to have a crush on him. She ends up following him around the majority of the time, so Jaemin lets her hold his hand and help him clean up the cups of dirty paint water.

You’re in your element. Jaemin can see why you want to be a teacher, as you’re good at it. You’re gentle and encouraging, but authoritative enough to keep all kids at bay. Jaemin would’ve never pictured you as the authoritative type, but now he certainly doesn’t want to get on your bad side.

He feels affection bloom across his chest. There’s something so genuine about watching someone in their element. Someone so invested in their own interests that they don’t even notice how big their smile has gotten; how their eyes suddenly seem to glow. There’s this halo of purity and love that circles around them, and right now it’s around you and Jaemin thinks he’s going to melt at the sight.

He absolutely adores you. He adores you and all you stand for. Though he’s only known you for a short time, he wants it to be more. He wants to make it official and be able to hold your hand. He wants to kiss you hello and goodbye. He wants people to know he’s your boyfriend and tell him how lucky he is so he can reply, “I know.”

He wants to show you the love you show the world.

You look up and brush your hair out of your face. “What’s wrong? Is there still paint on my nose? I thought I got it off...”

“No, you’re good.” Jaemin clears his throat and returns his attention to the kids.

🕷️

Jaemin walks you home after your shift. Out of hospitality (and your extreme fondness for Jaemin) you invite him inside.

He walks straight to the kitchen and grabs a mug out of your cupboard. It’s the same one you usually give to Spider-Man when he comes over, and you feel a bit possessive over it for that reason.

You take it out of his hands. “Maybe... let’s use different mugs. This is— My friend, he— This is the mug he uses when he comes over.”

“Oh.” Jaemin blinks. “Sorry, I didn’t mean to intrude. I—“ Jaemin isn’t even supposed to know where your cupboard is. Only Spider-Man has been in your kitchen.

Stupid.

“It’s okay.” Your features soften and Jaemin notices the way you hold the mug close to you.

“Is your friend- I mean- Do you like him?” Jaemin doesn’t know why he feels jealous right now. If you say yes, you’ll be talking about him. He’s not sure why it bothers him so much that you might like Spider-Man more than you like Na Jaemin.

“No...” You place the mug back in its place. “I just- You know a lot of people at F.E.A.S.T. are just people looking for safety? Away from their homes or relationships or whatever?”

Jaemin urges you on with a confused nod.

“I don’t think my friend has a place like that. He’s got a lot of enemies and I want him to always feel welcome here. So I don’t want his favorite mug to be dirty if he arrives late tonight for some tea.”

Jaemin knows it’s not the appropriate time, but he really can’t think of anything but pulling you into his arms and kissing your breath away.

There’s no one else in the state of New York as caring as you. Not to Jaemin. Even as Spider-Man, no one has so casually extended their hospitality to him. He carries danger around with him wherever he goes, and yet you make sure his favorite mug is filled with tea every night.

“Jaemin? Are you okay?”

Jaemin bites his lip to keep his affections from spilling out. “Yeah. I’m great, actually.”

🕷️

Jaemin wants to scream. Every single time he sees you, he wants to confess that he’s the masked boy that’s been visiting you every week.

But it’s hard. He doesn’t know who to trust anymore. Not that he doesn’t trust you, but he has no idea who Screwball’s minions are. What if they find you and take you away?

Hanging out with you as Na Jaemin is dangerous enough, but as Spider-Man? Jaemin seriously begins to wonder if he has any brain cells at all.

But he likes you. He really, really likes you. He likes you so much for just being around him — Spider-Man, that is — and never demanding anything of him. He can’t remember the last time someone has seen the mask and not asked for any favors.

And as Jaemin, he’s failed you. He always fails you because he has Spidey business to get to. He’s left you disappointed more times than not, and at this point he’s pretty sure you like his alter ego better than him. Not that he can blame you.

It’s another night of infiltrating demon warehouses when he finds himself wishing he could just be honest with you about everything. It’s really selfish, though, so he tries not to think about it and focuses on alerting the police that he’s caught more demons.

“Yuri,” he addresses the captain tiredly, “I think I’m gonna turn in for the night.”

“I wouldn’t do that yet, Spider-Man. Sorry, but the networks getting alerts of a hostage situation in Greenwich. We don’t have any other info yet, but we might need you.”

Spider-Man’s comm beeps. “I’m getting another call, Yuri. I’ll swing to Greenwich and call you back for more info.”

“Thanks, Spidey.”

He answers the new call. “Hello?”

“Aw, did the police already tell you? I was hoping to be the one to break the news! Anyways, today’s challenge is for you to go on a scavenger hunt through Greenwich and find the prize!”

Jaemin’s stomach suddenly feels heavy. “What’s the prize, Screwball?”

“Don’t you know? What’s most important to Spider-Man right now? Who owns that apartment you’re always visiting? My viewers are just dying to hear what’s up. Maybe a love story to tell?”

“Screw off, Screwball.” Jaemin swings towards Greenwich. How did she find you? How would she know that you’re important to him and not just a business partner?

Jaemin can feel the tears stinging already and it sucks because he’s gotta make smart quips to Screwball. He’s gotta play her game so she cooperates. All she wants is content. If Jaemin gives her content she won’t hurt you. It makes him so angry that Screwball is using you for views. Using you to force him to play this stupid little game.

He wants to cuss Screwball out but he isn’t sure how young her viewers might be.

“Are they safe?” He hopes the fear in his voice isn’t as evident as he thinks it is.

“Your precious little darling is hanging out with me! Don’t worry, I’ve got a bucket of popcorn for the two of us and a blanket to cozy up until you get here.”

“Let me talk to them.” He swings over the Rubin Museum and perches on top of the building. He struggles to catch his breath as Screwball cackles.

“Can’t go a minute without talking to your sweetheart?” Screwball coos, but she hands the phone over anyway.

“I’m okay,” is the first thing you say, though your voice is shaky. You follow up with, “Just stay safe. Take your time; I’m okay.”

As soon as your voice catches in your throat Jaemin wants to confess. He wants to you to know that he’s not just some random boy in a mask. He’s Jaemin, your friend, and he loves you so so much. He needs you to know that just in case he-

Just in case he fails you.

But he can’t tell you because your phone call is being live-streamed for all of the stupid world to hear and damn it if the police couldn’t do their job just once and get you to safety.

The comm begins to break up and Jaemin knows this stupid wild goose chase is almost over. He knows this is when Screwball drops the plot twist and tells him he only has so much time left. But he’s still swinging from building to building with no idea where he’s going or where you are.

“Y/n here certainly would like you to come quickly, Spidey. We’re just chilling on the balcony, enjoying the night air. Would be a shame if they fell off, huh?”

“You do anything to Y/n and I’ll-“

“You’ll what?” Screwball cackles. “You’ll turn me in? I’m not doing anything wrong.”

“You’re blackmailing me. You’re holding someone hostage, you—”

The comm switches, and it’s Yuri in a distorted voice. “We blocked the stream for thirty seconds. You’re not live. Screwball’s stream has a private network and firewall to break through. Our team’s working on it but we need you to keep talking. Alright, time’s u-“

Jaemin listens silently while Screwball tells her viewers that she’s back online. He does his best to try and pick apart the background noises. Any small clue that might show him where you are. He knows the two of you are on a balcony, or a ledge, or something you can fall off of because Screwball doesn’t make empty threats.

Then he hears it: the sirens. They’re loud through the stream but faint through his own ears.

He swings toward the sound, desperate to find you before Screwball does anything.

“What do you want from me, Screwball?”

To keep Screwball talking, he’s gotta ask her questions about herself.

🕷️

Okay, so you don’t exactly know how you managed to get ambushed by Screwball. All you know is that you were on your way to F.E.A.S.T one minute and the next, you were being dragged into a dark van. After screaming — and being consequently gagged — Screwball revealed herself to you.

Now you’re tied to stool, balanced on the edge of a balcony in the middle of some neighborhood you aren’t familiar of.

You’ve managed to stop your blubbering for now and focus on the sky until Screwball lets you speak to Spider-Man. That’s when you’re voice breaks and you find yourself panicking because that’s not Spider-Man’s voice over the comm.

It’s Jaemin’s.

And it sort of makes sense now that you think about it — Jaemin and Spider-Man have never been in the same place at once. Jaemin went directly to Spider-Man’s mug as if it were his own. And Jaemin seemed almost over-eager to fix your phone, as if he somehow had something to do with it.

Right now you don’t really care. Right now you just want him here, with you. You want Screwball arrested and you want to be home, in your apartment, snuggled under a blanket with Jaemin where nothing can hurt you. Either of you.

You want Jaemin safe too.

The tears bring on an instant headache so you do your best to keep them from forming behind your eyes. Instead you focus on the city. If you try hard enough, you can ignore Screwball’s annoying voice.

You gaze at the skyline and focus on looking for Jaemin. He’s gonna be here any minute now. He has to.

“Better hurry up, Spidey, or it’s sleepy time for your little sweetheart!”

“Aren’t you talking about yourself?” Jaemin swings from a nearby building and kicks the camera out of Screwball’s hand.

You close your eyes during most of the fight. Based on the quips the two keep shooting at each other, it doesn’t sound like a dangerous one. Jaemin’s probably just stalling for the police. Still, it makes you feel queasy and a little bit scared, so you’d rather not watch.

The police finally arrive around ten minutes later, after Jaemin has successfully webbed Screwball to the ground so that she can’t escape.

As soon as she’s in handcuffs, he turns to you and begins to free you from your restraints. “Y/n, I’m so sorry. I had no idea she’d ever find out about you. I didn’t know they kept such close tabs on me. I shouldn’t have been so reckless and stupid. I shouldn’t have visited you so often, but I didn’t want to stay away and—”

You grab Jaemin by the shoulders and pull him into your embrace, burying your face in his neck. “Jaemin, it’s okay.”

He chokes out a sob and squeezes you tighter. “I’m sorry I did- didn’t tell you earlier...”

“It’s okay,” you whisper. “Now, let’s go home.”

🕷️

The two of you take turns showering at your place, and while Jaemin is cleaning up, you watch the news to make sure that Screwball is being locked up for good.

After a positive confirmation, you turn the television off and go to your room.

Jaemin walks in moments after, face red from the too-hot water. He’s got on one of your hoodies and a pair of your sweatpants, and he looks so broken-hearted that you can’t help but feel sad too.

“Please don’t blame yourself.”

Jaemin crawls under your dark blue covers. He turns to face the wall, away from you. “You could’ve died.”

“I know,” you whisper. Anxiety pools in your chest at the thought. But you don’t want to think about what happened. You want to be distracted, and you want to feel safe.

You wrap your arm around Jaemin’s waist and press your forehead against the space between his shoulder blades. “I didn’t, though, and that’s thanks to you.”

Jaemin’s body shudders again, and your heart breaks at the sound of him crying. You squeeze him tighter and kiss his nape. “We’re safe now. It’s okay.”

🕷️

Jaemin keeps his distance from you for the next few weeks, and while you know why, it doesn’t make it any easier to bare.

You miss him greatly, and constantly ask May how he’s doing. She’s tried to get him to reconcile with you, but it’s no use. He’s blaming himself for the Screwball incident. You want to yell at him and remind him that •he’s• the hero of this story. He’s the one who saved you.

Without him you wouldn’t even be here.

But Jaemin doesn’t see it that way. You keep up with the news and follow all the Spider-Man blogs you can, trying to figure out whether or not Jaemin is okay. The last thing you want is for him to do something reckless out of guilt. Luckily, though, he’s back to fighting smaller-scale crimes and tweeting from his Spider-Man account.

So he’s okay. At least, he’s okay enough.

You know it’s all just one big distraction from that night, so you keep a tea kettle on the stove every night, just in case. You never know when he’ll finally break and swing by.

Your intuition rings true by the end of the week, when a familiar knock appears at your window. You open it with haste, hopeful of a tearful — or just joyful — reunion with your friend. Instead, Jaemin seems rather reluctant to be back at your place.

His mask is off, but his suit (or what’s left of it) is still on. His hair is a mess, and his face is covered in sweat and grime. There are tears in his suit from who-knows-what, and to top it off, Jaemin’s lip is bleeding.

“Jaemin, what happened?”

“I’m sorry,” he gasps, clutching at his ribs. “It’s just... I need help and no one else knows my secret. Except Aunt May, and she’ll worry too much. And Miles, of course, but he’s just a kid—“

You interrupt him. “Miles knows?”

“Long story,” Jaemin grunts. “Can I come in?”

You help him onto your sofa and run to grab some supplies. After making him change into more comfortable clothes, you take a damp washcloth and begin to wipe the sweat and dirt off of his face. “What happened?”

His eyes stay focused on yours for a moment. Your heart skips a beat at the way his eyelashes flutter when he blinks. You don’t think you’ve ever been this close to him before.

“I- It was just a drug bust. I was distracted because my earpiece was on and it picked up Jameson’s podcast. I should’ve turned it off, but you know how he likes to insult me, and I felt like I deserved it so I listened. It cost me a kick to the rib and a punch to the face, though.” He tries to laugh, but it comes out as a strangled noise. “Ow.”

“I’m gonna get an ice pack,” you say, already halfway towards the kitchen. You open the freezer. “Do you think they’re broken?”

“No, they’ve been through worse.” Jaemin watches you walk back towards him.

You sit right beside him and hand him the frozen pack. “Here. You apply it. I don’t want to accidentally hurt you.”

Jaemin is still watching you. Although you feel nervous under his gaze, you can’t help but wonder what he’s thinking as his eyes flit over your lips for what feels like the hundredth time. “I’m sorry for ignoring you.”

“Oh,” you mumble, suddenly too shy to look at him. “It’s okay. You needed your space.”

“Yeah, but you were affected too. You were affected more than me, and I abandoned you when you needed me. I shouldn’t have done that, and I hope I can make it up to you.”

You smile sadly. “Jaemin, all I want is for you to be safe. Safe and happy, that’s all.”

Jaemin is still looking at your lips, but this time he’s leaning in. His eyelashes flutter again as he closes his eyes and you find yourself frozen in place as you prepare for the inevitable.

Jaemin is going to kiss you.

His lips find yours within seconds. They’re warm and soft, and when they slot between yours you think some people were just made to fit together.

You feel one hand go to cup your jaw, but it doesn’t stop there. Jaemin reaches up and takes a gentle hold of your hair, tugging at the roots every moment or so.

Being so close to him is overwhelming. You can smell his cologne, and although it’s mixed with sweat, it isn’t any less desirable than before.

You think of Jaemin’s soft eyes and warm smile and low voice, and you sigh into the kiss. Your heartbeat quickens when he smiles suddenly against your lips. “I like you, Y/n.”

You giggle and break contact. “I hope so.”

Jaemin manages to contain his blush as he rubs the back of his neck. “I really missed you when we were apart, and I don’t want to feel like that ever again.”

“So let’s try it out,” you whisper. “Me and you. We’ll protect each other, alright?”

Jaemin hums and presses a quick kiss to your forehead. “Alright.”

#this sucks lol sorry ig #jaemin au #jaemin fluff #jaemin angst #jaemin scenario #spiderman!jaemin #nct au #ncy fluff #nct angst #nct scenario #destwrites

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emotionalcello-makefanfics · 5 years

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Ferris Wheel (Jaydick Fanfic for Fictober... Part 1/3)

Prompt number: 12. “What if I don’t see it?”

Fandom : DCU

Rating: General Audience

Warnings/Tags: No Warnings/ No Powers AU

Summary :

Dick spotted bloodstains by the Ferris wheel that trails from the bottom cabin to the very top one. What he found inside is a boy can't be older than 15, bleeding down from the stomach, and even so, he refuses to come down from the Cabin.

“I want to see the stars, one last time, just... one last time.” The boy still muses upon the sky, mesmerized. Dick looks up, and the starless sky that’s tinted red from light pollution. Then, with great sorrow and resignation, the boy whimpers, “You ruin that from me.”

Word count : 2k

Part 2

Click link to read on AO3

Click keep reading to read on tumblr~

Dick hears metal clashing and creaking from the pathway towards the entrance area. It could be something, or it could be nothing. In this city of Bludhaven, anything can happen. Maybe it’s just a bird, or trespassing kids – that one is often –, and the worst ones will be if someone plants a bomb, that won’t be the first too.

Just to be safe, Dick turns on his radio and held it a finger away from his lips, “Come in, Wally.”

“This is Wally.”

“I hear a voice near the Ferris wheel, can you cover my grounds for me? I’m going to check it out.”

“Okay, be careful blue wing.”

“You too, speedy.”

The Ferris wheel is not the highest one in town, but it’s always busy during the weekends and holiday season. As he walks down the path, one of the trash bin tips over and spilled across the granite bricks.

Dick leaves that worry later when he sees some sort of stain on the metal structures. The contraption is painted all over, from the carriages to the metal structures in blues and yellows. Going in closer with the help of his flashlight, he sees an odd stain starting from the entrance platform that trails to the support tower and ends at the cabin on top. Red stains.

Dick’s first guess is that someone climbed it to the top. It’s possible, he has seen the maintenance guy climbs it over. Looking closer to the stain on the carriage right on in front of the platform, it seems like blood. He leans closer and sniffs the stain, it smells like iron, but it could’ve been the metal. Still, with the bizarre stain, there’s someone up there. With the probability that it’s blood, that person could be injured. Despite being a disappointingly small Ferris wheel, it’s still a high climb.

Whoever it is at the top cabin is either hiding from something or already dead. Either way, it’s his job to check it out.

“Come in Wally, I think see blood on the Ferris wheel.”

The radio buzzes and clears, “Do you need me for back up?”

Dick thinks it over and follows his gut.

“No, but can you look around the borders? He’s pouring down heavy, maybe he came from the haunted house.”

“Copy that Blue Jay.” Wally signed off.

Dick put his radio back on the holster hanging by the belt. He tips the end of the flashlight up to where the carriage where the bloodstain ends.

“Someone there?” Dick shouts out.

No reply.

“Hello? I can see your blood all over this thing, are you injured?”

Still nothing.

“Want me to call 911?”

Not even a creak on the carriage.

Dick grips the sets of keys hanging on the other side of his hip, grabbing the one for Ferris wheel’s control board and enter the room on the side of the platform.

“I’m going to turn the Ferris wheel on!” Dick warned to probably nothing.

Lights glare from the ride. Pink, yellow and green shine from the rows of lightbulbs on the metal crossmember, three lightbulbs on the hub of the wheel, fairy lights on the side of the cabins, and more lightbulbs on the legs of the support tower. The song came up next, your basic ‘carnival music’ that they got on youtube.

The wheel starts turning, the brightly colored carriages turn until the cabin where the blood trail ends are in the bottom.

The cabin is a small windowless four-seater, sets of two facing each other, with a metal railing that reaches your chest as the only safety precaution.

Dick flash his lights inside the bloody cabin, expecting the worst, and what’s inside exceed his worst.

There’s a pool of blood at the bottom of the cabin, pouring from the seat, where a boy lays limp across the two-seaters. Damp dark hair sticks on half his face, barely showing it. Dick’s attention goes right towards the damp part of the hoodie where the boy’s bloody hands are clutching, the source of all the red.

“Oh my god, how did you even get there.”

His hands reach out to the boy, and not even halfway towards him, the boy grunts and shows his eyes.

“Don’t touch me,” the boy hisses, glints of wary in his eyes like a feral kitten.

“You’re injured an-”

His mouth freeze open when he –a boy that couldn’t be older than 15– hold a gun to his face.

“Put... put me... back up.” The boy says between panting breath. His eyes a pale blue, even though his blood pools at the bottom of the bright orange carriage, he still has the energy to glare at Dick.

“Kid, if you look down, you can see how much blood you’re losing. You need medical help,” he presses firmly, but he’s scared out of his life for the boy in front of him. He doesn’t know how much this boy bleed before he steps into the carriage, but he might not make it just judging by the pool of blood Dick sees.

“I fucking know that, why do you think I’m pressing on my wounds?” The boy shouts, flailing the gun. “Just... Just let me... Put me back up now!” he growls, taking off the safety of his gun. “Please,” he continues after seeing that Dick is unfazed.

The boy doesn’t hold out the gun too long. His arm gave up and the gun falls to the pool of his blood.

Dick takes the gun in a heartbeat, throwing it away to the bushes then scoops the boy in his arms. In a few wide strides, he carries the boy down the platform’s stairs and lays him down on the brick pathway. The kid is wearing a red hoodie, and a darker red is coming from the side of his stomach, right where the boy’s hand resides.

“Put me... put me back,” he croaks, “Put me back and get me up there.”

“Nope, it’s not your time yet kid.” Dick scrunch up the kid’s hoodie and press on the wound along with the boy’s hand. Dick’s other hand reaches out to his radio, smearing the matte black surface with a thin red hue.

“Wally, I need you to call the ambulance.”

“Are you hurt?” Wally sounds worried.

“No, there’s a kid on the Ferris wheel, he’s bleeding a lot.”

“Okay, right, okay I-I’ll bring first aid kit.”

“Call the ambulance first, he’s rapidly losing blood.”

The other side sounds clamorous and clatter, Wally’s breathing hard like he’s running, “Aah shit, okay, I’ll call ‘em. I’ll be there after bringing some kit, put pressure on it!” and he abruptly hangs up.

A hand grabbed his collar, the same hand that couldn’t even hold the gun straight.

“No, no hospital,” The boy hisses.

“Yes hospital, you’re dying!” his heart starts racing, trying to focus on pressing the wound to calm himself. His hands began to feel cold, trembling when he realized the weight of the situation.

“I just want to be up there,” the boy looks at the top of the Ferris wheel. Colorful lights shine on his adolescent face.

Only then Dick could see his face in detail. Through the colorful lights, his eyes stay blue. There are tear stains down his pale face. Blue-ish bruise peeks on the neckline. Eyes empty as he stares through matter. The boy’s hand no longer presses on the wound, both lay limp between his body. Slowly, he breathes. Breathing out one long sigh, a tear escaped from his left eye.

Upon seeing the barely teen boy, the feeling that resides is fear.

“What’s your name?” Dick asked, leaning close, hoping to get the boy’s attention. Hoping to ignite some kind of light behind his eyes.

It’s futile. “I want to see the stars, one last time, just... one last time.” The boy still muses upon the sky, mesmerized.

Dick looks up, and the starless sky that’s tinted red from light pollution.

Then, with great sorrow and resignation, the boy whimpers, “You ruin that from me.”

Dick’s body stiffens and rigid when electricity strikes his nerves. Pain concentrated from the exposed part of his neck. His body twitched into a spastic mess on the ground. His vision caught the kid standing above him, throwing a taser he recognizes his before he finally passed out.

+++++++

“I told you before, there’s nothing there.”

“How could it not be there!” Dick exclaimed frustratingly, as he keeps clicking the rewind button, replaying the same footage over and over again.

It’s been 30 minutes since Dick came into the surveillance room, which is a small room with three split screens. The only one in charge of the screens is Barbara and some other guy Dick doesn’t know covers dayshift.

There are only a few minutes till the opening time, and Dick is still in his blood-stained uniform. A few dots on his chest, and the ones on his hands he had washed out. Dick has been in this room for 30 minutes and their shift had finished 30 minutes ago.

“I hate to ask, but...” Barbara doesn’t bother to finish, Dick knows what she meant.

“This isn’t the doppelganger incident, I’m not making this up!” Dick Rebukes.

“Okay, okay,” Barbara resigned, not without skepticism.

“I swear, he was running towards behind the Ferris wheel, but!” Dick rewinds the footage shooting towards the Ferris wheel entrance when he replayed it. The footage displays the bottom half of the ride, the platform to step in and the first half of the waiting line. Nothing changes in the footage, not even the grass by the corner.

“Where are the footage where I came in and turn the Ferris wheel on?” Dick points aggressively towards the screen. It buzzes and glitz in every loud tap. “And when I take the boy from the carriage? The Ferris wheel isn’t even on the entire time in this footage!”

“Maybe it’s a glitch, you knew boss’ too cheap to buy better stuff. I’ll write a note to the day-shifters to take a look at it.”

Huffing defeatedly, Dick finally sits back, making the chair creaks, “What am I going to do now? The boy was badly hurt, look at my shirt! There’s blood everywhere!”

“The paramedics say they’ll get back to us for the DNA result. I gave them my number, all we can do is wait.”

“Fine,” Dick exhaled his frustration and stands up abruptly. When looks at Barbara, his annoyance goes down the drain, “Thank you for waiting on me.”

Barbara quirks up her pale pink lips, “That’s why I’m here Dickie. C’mon, we had a long day, let’s get back home.”

++++

The DNA test result came. Barbara told Dick as soon as graveyard shift starts.

“Unregistered?” Dick almost shouts, his voice echo’s through the empty park.

“Uh-huh, the kid is not in the system,” Barbara adds.

“Is it about yesterday’s Ferris wheel ghost boy?” Wally chirps in.

“He’s not a ghost! He’s real, I carried his bloody body in my arms!” Dick tensed on the neck, veins showing under the skin.

“Okay! I’m just jokin’. It’s what the day shifters called it.”

Rubbing his face, Dick breathed out the rest of his frustration, “I just want to know if that kid is alright. That’s all.”

Wally and Barbara share a knowing look to each other, then back to their best friend with a pitying smile.

“Let’s hope he is,” Barbara comforted.

“I bet he is if he got the strength to stand up and tase you, he’ll be fine. Heck, maybe he’ll be back for revenge when you stop him from getting a free ride,” Wally joked.

That one makes Dick smile. He rubs the tenseness on the back of his neck off and looks up from staring at his shoes.

“Yeah, I guess you’re right.”

After their night shift is done and Dick was waiting for Wally by the entrance gate. After taking two steps outside of the locker room, Barbara pulled Wally to the side, whispering.

“Yesterday, did you see the Ferris wheel turned on?”

Wally smiled nervously, “I dunno babs, I was around the walls when Dick called in.”

“This is serious Wally,” Barbara warned. “The Ferris wheel can be seen from your location, and I don’t think the surveillance system is glitchy. I can see your footage just alright when the Ferris wheel allegedly turned on because I didn’t see it. So, did you see it turned on or not.”

Sighing, Wally looks down at his tennis shoes, “No. Not once in the entire night.”

#fictober19 #jaydick fanfic #jaydick #jason todd fanfic #jason todd fanfiction #dick grayson fanfic #emocel's

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nervecontrol911ds · 4 years

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Nerve Control 911

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nervecontrol911s · 4 years

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Nerve Control 911 Review

Nerve Control 911 Reviews - PhytAge Labs Scam or Does It Really Work?

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yourcoolfriendwithallthecandy · 5 years

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Hearthway Hollow Chef Ryker Part 2

Again, many, many thanks to @momolady for letting me post my bastardized version of her story because I just couldn’t help myself from changing little details into big details into remodeling the whole damn story and playing god in her universe which please don’t do, that’s very disrespectful, of course I realized it was probably disrespectful and all that after the fact and will not be repeating those transgressions in the future. But I have been saving these pics, especially that picture of “Ryker” ever since I commissioned her and I want everyone to seeeeeee. I do have fanfiction of this story, that will be coming up soon. It’s a 2.5 which basically everything that happens between chapter 2 and 3. And all these health problems in this part? Those are all real, those are all mine that I deal with on a daily basis. Enjoy.

Hearthway Hollow Chef Ryker Part 2

“Mom, why aren’t we going?” Del whines from the passenger seat.

“Give me a second, hun,” I grumble. I try cranking the car again but the engine just whines for a moment before shutting down. “The car isn’t behaving.” I knew I should have brought the camaro. That car had never failed me. They just don't make cars like they used to.

I had stopped in Hearthway Hollow so Del and I could see the wolf reserve, but after breakfast this morning the car wouldn’t start at all. I take Del back inside and start searching through the phone book to find a tow service.

“Looks like we may be stuck here for a few more days,” I tell Del. “The car is going to probably need a few repairs.”

“That’s ok. I like it here better,” Del says with a big grin. “Are we still going to be able to go see the wolves?”

I sigh and sit down with her on the couch. “I’ll try to get us there, no worries. Once the tow truck comes I’ll see if they know of any places where we can rent a car.”

“Ok,” she says with a shrug.

“You’re not upset we’ll miss the beach?” I ask her.

She shakes her head. “Not really,” she shrugs.

“Oh? Why is that?” I ask curiously.

“I only said that place because you seemed excited to go somewhere,” she murmurs. “I just wanted you to be happy.”

I grab her up and hug her so tight. “You’re so sweet! But this vacation was supposed to be for the both of us.”

“I like it here,” she murmurs, resting her head on my shoulder. “So is it ok if we stay here a little longer? It’s nice and you’ve already made friends here.”

“Amelie and Shahan?” I ask. I kiss her forehead. “So you like them?”

Del nods quietly. “I like Ryker too, he’s cool and he made good on his promise.” Del added.

There’s a knock at the door and when I answer it’s Jack from the hardware store. “Oh hey,” he waves. “I thought the name sounded familiar. We’re here for the car.”

“Thank you.” I hand him over the car key. “Do you by chance any know of car rentals around here?

Jack takes out a card from his pocket. “This is the place you’ll wanna call. They’ll drive the car right over too.”

“Thank goodness,” I sigh. “I promised to take Del to the wolf reserve, and of course, the car won’t crank. I knew I should have brought the camaro, they just don't make cars like they used to."

"You have a camaro?" Jack asked excitedly.

"67 SS, 350 with nos." I answered before I showed him a picture of it in all its emerald green glittering glory as he whistled lowly.

"Wow, yeah you should’ve.” Jack chuckles.

“But it doesn’t have air conditioning, I know there’s a company that makes air conditioners that can be retrofitted but I just haven’t gotten around to it.” I explained.

“Well, isn’t that how it always is when you promise your kid something, something else breaks?” Jack chuckles. “I have your number, so as soon as we know what’s going on, I’ll give you a call.” Jack offers before he loads up my car onto the tow truck after I’ve emptied it out completely.

I tell him goodbye before I go inside to call the number on the card. As i’m waiting for an answer, I see Ryker’s note laying on the counter. After I slept on it and thought it over, I didn’t know if I would have the courage to start messaging him, I was only going to be here a day or two and I didn’t know if I would ever get the chance to see him again after this trip. But now that it looked like I was going to be spending my vacation in Hearthway Hollow, maybe if wouldn’t be so bad to call him and hopefully get the chance to see him again.

I make plans for a car to be dropped off at the cabin then I call Big Billy and explain the situation and agree to come in and rent the cabin for a week since I didn’t know how long it would take for the mechanic to fix it and send Ryker a quick text. ‘I’m having car issues and munchkin has decided to spend our vacation here. Any tips on how to continue to bring her out of her chicken nugget “shell” would be much appreciated.’ I text him but he doesn’t answer back and I pout at my phone. Maybe I just had my hopes up too high.

I sit back down on the sofa while Del paints with her watercolors on the coffee table in front of the couch and watches cartoons when my phone chimes again, the chef has replied. My heart thrums excitedly to see what he’s said.

‘Who is this?’ came the response.

I frown for a moment. ‘Zara. Zara Norris, Del’s mom. I was with Shahan and Amelie last night. I have a Michigan cell phone number, this message isn’t spam I pinky swear.’ I text back, hoping that would jog his memory.

It’s another long moment before my phone beeps again. ‘Sorry, I work late and sleep in late. I’m not a smart morning person. Yeah of course I’ll help. More than happy to.’ And my smile blooms brighter and my heart does somersaults in my chest.

‘I’m sorry I didn’t mean to wake you!’ I quickly apologize.

‘No worries. Did she enjoy the doggy bag I sent?’

I smile adoringly at my phone. ‘Yeah, she loved it, we both did, thank you so much, everything was awesome and delicious, it was the best meal of my life last night and then again this morning, thank you for the cheesecake too! That was the best I’ve ever had!’

‘Great. I’m gonna get coffee. Talk to you later.’

I smile to myself, wondering if I would ever get to see him again while I was still in Hearthway Hollow or if this was as close as I was gonna get.

After a while the car was dropped off and I was given a key. I signed a few papers for the rental and gave a down payment for the first two days. As I was looking over the car and making sure I was used to the controls I saw something strange in the rearview mirror. There was something in the trees, moving around a bit. As I turned, I saw it go down the hill and onto Amelie and Shahan’s porch. It was a wolf, a massive one too. It went in through the open door and I panicked. I didn’t have Amelie’s number, nor did I know Shahan’s or where he worked. In a moment of desperation I dialed Ryker’s number.

“Hello?” he sounded confused.

“I-am-so-so-sorry-to-call-like-this! But-I-just-saw-this-wolf- walk-into-Amelie-and- Shahan’s-place! And-I-know-Amelie- is-home-alone- and-Shahan- isn’t-there- and-I don’t-know- anyone- here! What-do- I- do?! Do- I- call- 911?!” I spew out a stream of conscious thought that stringed together as one single word.

“Whoa, whoa,” Ryker started. “Calm down, a wolf?” He asks as he still sounds like he’s groggy.

“Yes! A wolf, a huge one!” I’m nearly screaming and near a panic attack as electric shocks like lightning bolts shoot down my arms and into my hands until it feels like needles and knives are cutting into every nerve ending and down my legs making my legs spasm and into my rib cage, into the flesh in between each rib so it’s impossible to breathe until it subsides and into my face so my face twitches and twists against my will so and I cry out in pain because it’s unbearable and blinding for a moment and I’m overwhelmed.

“I’ll be right there!” Ryker assures me before he hangs up.

“Ok.” I spurt but he’s already hung up the phone. I give my body a moment to relax from the attack and use a breathing exercise to get me calmed down and stable as the attack stops and subsides and once I’m recovered, I attempt to dial him again but I go straight to his voicemail. “Oh crap, I’ve really done it now.” I groan and bang my head on the steering wheel. Great, now I’m a spaz. He’s going to tell me to loose his number. Way to go.

I glance back to the cabin where Del is inside. I don’t want to leave her alone but I feel like I have to go make sure Amelie is ok. Then again, what am I going to do against a wolf of that size? As I’m trying to keep myself from panicking anymore because panic = pain for me, I see a car pull up to the house. It parks around then side where I can see it and Ryker gets out. He goes to the front door and a while later comes out the back. Amelie and Shahan are with him on the porch and they’re both as calm as can be.

“What?” I whisper to myself. Ok, maybe I’m crazy and I’ve snapped again and I’m seeing things.

The three of them wave up at me, but I feel so stupid I have a hard time waving back. I get a text on my phone.

‘Mind if I come up?’ Ryker asks.

‘I feel like an idiot, are you sure?’ I answer.

‘I’ll have a look around the place, make sure there aren’t any wolves there. Just in case,’ he texts back. Is that a joke? I can’t tell. Well, time to face the music.

I watch as he walks up the road to the cabin. He’s wearing a dark blue henley with the buttons undone, showing off the dark pelt on his chest. His hair is disheveled, looking like he combed it with his hands. It’s beautiful, whereas my hair is just ringlet curly and hella frizzy.

“Good morning,” he says with a smile. “You ok?” He asks worriedly.

“Yeah, I’m just a spaz.” I try to downplay but he’s not buying it. “I have conversion disorder. Whenever I’m faced with any stress or anxiety or especially panic. My brain can’t process that or internalize it, it simply converts it into physical pain. I get “shocks” which feels like I’m being electrocuted and it travels all over my body, into my face, down my arms until it feels like red hot needles and knives are cutting and burning into every nerve ending I have, into my ribcage between each rib so I can’t breathe and down my legs into my feet until they feel just like my hands. It’s very painful.” I explained and Ryker just looks heartbroken to hear it. “So yeah, thinking I saw a wolf walk into a house totally panicked me and I didn’t know Shahan was at the house! I never should have called, maybe I'm crazier than I think I am and am just seeing things.” I grumble in shame and I can’t bring myself to look him in the eye.

“Hey, it’s ok, I would freak out too.” Ryker reassures me and closes the space between us and hugs me tight and I melt in his big strong arms and I’m pleasantly surprised when I feel so at peace and safe, like even if I was surrounded by a pack of wolves right now, I’d be ok, like nothing could ever get to me.

“I’m just sorry it caused you pain, that’s all.” He murmured regrettably.

“Thank you for not making fun of me.” I whimper as I continue to cling to him.

“What? No, never! Have people made fun of you for this?” He asked his own outrage making his voice have a growl that sends a shiver down my spine but a smile bloomed on my face as he just continued to hold me.

“Yeah, my husband, used to, he was a narcissistic asshole though. When I first got conversion, it got misdiagnosed as fibromyalgia and MS and I used to have to use a walker to get around and he would call me ‘gympopotomus’, a cross between gympy and hippopotamus.” You revealed as he took a sharp but deep breath in and held me even tighter as I could feel the hot air practicallyq come out of his ears as he buried his face in the crook of my neck and slowly released the breath as his jaw clenched.

“He was a good and decent father to Del and he wasn’t so bad that he beat me or anything, he just wasn’t the nicest or kindest person, he struggled with sympathy and empathy.” I tried to explain.

“And apparently being a decent human being.” Ryker huffed.

“Yeah…” I sighed sadly before I withdrew from him which he seemed reluctant but let go of me and took a small step back to reestablish the distance between us.

“Tell you what, just to be safe, I’ll look around while I’m here. If there’s anything suspicious, I’ll take care of it and make sure everything is..as it should be.” He reassures me and I’m relieved he’s not being sarcastic and he’s completely sincere and genuine.

“Thanks.” My face is growing red hot as I look at him, my own smile growing bashful. Something about him just sets off all the bells and whistles for me to see him look so...normal and casual and comfortable. I follow him as he walks around the cabin, unable to take my eyes off of him again as he walks around the side where I had heard scratching the night before as he seems to start walking quicker to avoid looking at the claw marks under the window as his cheeks get rosy again before he clears his throat awkwardly, his sharp blue eyes study the ground for a moment before looking off into the woods as he rubs the back of his neck for a moment as things grow awkward again and I feel the need to break the tension.

“So uhm...Ryker,” I chuckle. “That’s an interesting name.”

“My dad loved Star Trek,” he huffs. “So yes, I am named after that Ryker.”

“I knew it!” I gasp with a victorious smile then make myself shut up. “Sorry. I just had a gut feeling. I used to watch the show when I was younger. My uncle had every episode of every star trek on VHS and I grew up on it, Picard was of course my favorite but Ryker was a close second.” I grin.

“And you’re a Norris? Like Chuck Norris.” He grins cheekily.

“Yes, exactly like Chuck Norris, unfortunately not related to him. Because if I was, hey, when I did push ups, I’d push the earth down and my tears could cure cancer and venomous snakes would die if they tried to bite me.” I rattle off, remembering all the Chuck Norris jokes off the top of my head which makes Ryker bust up laughing. “So we both have famous names, that’s nice.” I finish. “And before I was a Norris, I was a Wright girl so I grew up with being Zara Left or Zara Wrong, I don’t know if that’s better or worse.” I shrug as Ryker chuckles to that as his grin grew a little mischievous.

“Oh I don’t think you ever stopped being the right girl.” Ryker flirts and my jaw drops and I giggle and blush like a teenager again.

“So, Wright like the Wright brothers?” Ryker asked curiously.

“Wright like Frank Lloyd Wright, the architect, now that one I am related to but distantly.” I answer.

He turns to me with that same soft smile like I’m the moon again. “Believe it or not, my dad met my mom at a convention. She was working the hotel it was at and well, despite the fact he was dressed in a starfleet uniform, he managed to charm her.”

“That’s really cute actually.” We walk up onto the back porch where the sliding glass door is, the curtain still open and I can see Del through the dining room into the living room, still watching TV and painting.

“I like to think so.” He leans over the railing.

Ryker motions to the door. “What’s Del doing?”

“Watercolor painting.” I answered.

“Wow really?” Ryker asked, impressed.

“Oh yeah, Dell and I both love watercolors. I bought her a Paul Ruben’s set which are professional watercolors, she has her regular palate and her glitter palate so she’s good.” I explained as I gestured to show him about the size of it as I lean over the railing next to him so we're almost shoulder to shoulder as we look out over the woods. “The only thing she’ll run out of is the watercolor paper. I suppose I’ll have to go shopping for more supplies.” I smile up at him. “That’s why I asked you for the food help.”

“How long you here for then?” He asks as he turns around, leaning back on the railing with his hands on it, making his broad chest and shoulders jut out and my eyes rake down him again as my mouth goes dry as I realize he’s asked me a question I should be answering as I once again mirror his body language by turning around and leaning back on the railing but I loosely cross my arms over my belly a little self consciously.

“Uhm-” I try to collect my thoughts. “Honestly I don’t know. I haven’t heard from the mechanic yet. It could be a day or two or a week if the car is salvageable and if it isn’t I’ll just have my parents drive my other car down and I’ll finish my vacation in that but it doesn’t have air conditioning. So I don’t know.” I shrug. “Granted if I have to I’ll just spend my whole vacation here and I told my parents and my inlaws I’d be two to three weeks.” I amend.

“Oh,” he blinks before his grin grows into a full blown smile. “That’s plenty of time, we can find a way to work something out, I’m sure.” He offers and my heart is back to a hummingbird pace.

“Del likes it here, so I think we’ll find a way to pass the time.” A smile spreads across my face. “Just gotta research the town a bit and see what we can get into here.”

“Well Hearthway has lots to do. There’s the big park, I’m sure Del would like that. There’s South Paw lake you can take her to and go swimming or the community pool if you prefer, there’s trails galore you could go hiking, there’s a place that has horses and horse back riding lessons you could ride and take on the trails. There’s going to be day camp for kids coming up really soon, Billy and his family started it a few years back. Kids go there and get to do crafts and all sorts of stuff. I’m sure if you asked Billy he’d let Del join in.” Ryker offers.

“Really?” I gasp. “She would love that!”

“I’m sure you could find ways to preoccupy yourself with other stuff too.” Ryker’s words has my insides feeling like pudding.

“Yeah well,” I chuckle softly. “I’ve been trying to do that for a year now.”

Ryker furrows his brow and tilts his head. “A year?” Ryker repeats.

I open my mouth as I try to decide what excuse to give. I then sigh and shake my head, deciding I would be blunt about it. “Michael, my husband and Del’s father- had his heart attack almost a year ago and passed away and it’s been a bit of a challenge to figure out what to do with myself, I quit my dayjob and completely focused on Del and getting her through this while I try to figure out how to get myself through it too.” I bite down on my cheek as I see the expression that washes over his face and I can see he has several things going on at once in his mind and I give him a moment to try to ask me something but he can’t seem to settle on anything. “But Del and I are fine, we go to therapy regularly, we’re both artists and we both like working with watercolors, acrylics and clay as our creative outlets and thankfully Michael thought ahead and planned ahead and had life insurance policies at work and then had a private one too so financially we’re fine, we’re not destitute or anything and every day it gets a little easier. But it’s best that we find ways to move on and heal. That’s what this whole vacation was about. I wanted to show Del we could move on, move forward and embrace something new without feeling like we’ve abandoned the old, that as long as we had each other, we’d be ok, and we are.” I assured him.

“You’re so young, I can’t imagine,” he whispers. “I’m so sorry, Zara.”

I shake my head. “It’s ok, really.” I then laugh. “I’m not all that young. I’m 33. I was 19 when I married Michael and I was 25 when I had her and that was after three years of trying too.” I explained as Ryker blinked in surprise before he just had this warm reassuring smile that makes me feel like I’m melting again.

“Well, if you need anything while you’re here, you have my number, don’t be afraid to use it.” He runs his fingers through his thick hair. “Oh but, the food,” he chuckles. “So, are you a good cook?” He asks curiously.

“Well I’m no michelin star chef,” I tease as Ryker barks a laugh and shakes his head. “But I like to think I’m fairly decent, I believe in the four food groups, butter, bone marrow, bacon grease and lard and one does not get this pudgy only eating salad.” I joke as I grab and jiggle my pudgy belly for emphasis as Ryker busts out laughing having nodded in agreement to my sentiments. “But seriously, even I’m banging my head against a wall with Del. She used to be a such a great adventurous eater and once Michael passed, she did a 180 and now she only wants to eat the foods Michael liked and Michael had one hell of a narrow food palate. I don’t know if that’s one of the ways she’s choosing to grieve or what but all it’s been for the last year has been lots and lots of chicken, pork, beef and venison. In that order because he liked to hunt and she thinks deer chili is better than beef. But we’ve eaten the last of it now and I’m uncomfortable accepting any other “sources” of it.” I explained.

“Sources?” Ryker repeated in confusion.

“Michael’s friends who also hunt who now think they have a shot with me to get at Michael’s life insurance money, which they all have allusions of grandure as to how much I have and they want Michael’s stuff and live the idyllic life he seemingly led with me because and I quote “ I was their gold standard for a wife” while I was married to Michael and to them I say “Fuck off.” Because they’re all losers who I have absolutely no interest in, they’re repulsive to me because they did see Michael be an asshole to me and they would just laugh at his “jokes” at my expense and there is no way in hell I’m putting up with anything like that ever again and they can go to hell.” I reassured him which he beamed so proudly at me back.

“Well, how about this?” He claps his hands together and rubs his palms together. “You go and stock up on groceries for your time here, and I have tomorrow off. I can come over and show you some tips and we’ll take it from there.”

“Really?” I gasp in awe, a bright excited smile blooming on my face, lighting it up like sunshine itself.

“Yeah, really,” he says with a grin.

“Let me pay you,” I quickly offer. “I can’t let you do that for nothing.”

He shakes his head. “No way. Not often I get to show off my skills to a willing audience, much less a more deserving one.” he grins.

“Well, I’m a licensed massage therapist!” I counter. “Therapeutic and medical massage,” my cheeks burn. “I can give you a massage in payment. I'm licensed and everything.” I offer coyly.

A shy smile flickers over his face. “A massage? Really? Would I have to get naked?”

I lose my breath for a moment at the thought. “Not unless you’d want to be, you’d be covered with sheets and blankets and stuff. I would just have to tell my mom to pack my table and supplies in the trunk,” I squeak.

“Never had a massage,” he says thoughtfully. “Ok, sure. One massage for cooking lessons it is!” Ryker agrees before Del sees us and comes outside.

“Hey! What are you doing here?” Del asks as she tilts her head.

“I thought I saw a wolf and freaked out like a spaz.” I admitted.

“Well there are wolves around so it’s ok. Your mom said you’ve been painting.” Ryker quickly changes the subject.

“Yeah, let me show you!” Del invites him in by taking his hand and dragging him into the house before she has him sit down on the sofa with her.

“Wow! You painted this?” Ryker exclaims as he sees the works of art and is impressed by Del’s skills as Del started talking his ear off and showing him her old sketches but before we know it, he has to leave to go into to work and we have a wolf reserve to visit.

And they do bring out the baby wolves who are cuter than a bug’s ear. So fluffy. After that I get a call from the mechanic, and the car is toast. Like it’ll cost more to repair it than it’s worth. So I tell him to scrap it and I call my parents and tell them the change of plans and to drive my camaro down because I know that won’t fail me which they agree to then I shoot a quick text to Ryker and inform him of the changes. Part of me really wants to see the look on Ryker’s face when he sees the car. I want him to like it. Hell even Michael knew it was a “panty dropper” and it was. Maybe, just maybe, if I’m really lucky, it might do that again. Hopefully.

After we visit the reserve we head to Big Billy’s and I explain the new situation and now instead of renting the cabin for $65 a night, we now get to rent it for $100 a week, another ‘kid and bad luck discount’ which I won’t argue with and Del gets signed up for the kids camp which she is ecstatic to start that weekend, then we head to the grocery store which is amazing, packed with everything I could possibly want or need and I go nuts because if Ryker is coming over tomorrow, I’m going to show him my best dishes and hopefully he’ll like them. The only thing I notice that is strange is that there isn’t a meat section, there’s a seafood section though. An employee tells me the reason is because of the local butcher shop, it has a monopoly on the meat in town.

Del and I then go to the butcher’s shop to pick up meat. Inside it’s like a little deli, very cute and quaint. The man behind the counter looks like an angel in a painting. His hair is platinum white and he has the most amazing gray eyes.

“You’re new!” He says brightly. “What can I get you?”

“Hi, uhm, yes,” I chuckle. “We’re on a surprise vacation here. I just need to pick up a few things to get us through the week.” I say.

“Well good, we’re happy to have you, my name is Adam,” He offers his hand for a handshake which I readily shake.

“Zara Norris, pleasure to meet you and this is my daughter Delilah, Del for short,” I reply. Something about him makes me feel comfortable, like he’s the world’s friendliest puppy. And I look over his selection and my jaw drops and my mouth waters. He has the usual, chicken, pork and beef and a wide variety of fresh sausages. But he also has mutton, lamb and goat too, plus game meat! Pheasant, boar, venison, rabbit, duck, goose and turkey, both wild and domestic. I want it all. That employee wasn’t joking when they said this place had the monopoly. They even have charcuterie in addition to the lunch meats and cheeses. I’m in heaven. So I get a bit of everything.

After shopping, Del takes a bath using the bath bombs she’s brought with her in the big claw foot tub in my rooom as I’m putting the groceries away I hear something strange. I look around for a moment then hear something outside again. I go to the sliding glass door and push back the curtains which I had closed before we left, sitting in the trees beyond the porch I see a massive wolf. This one looks different than the one I saw earlier, this one is mostly black with bright blue eyes, almost husky-ish but still very wolf.

I nearly scream but I keep myself quiet since I don’t want to freak Del out and I have to keep my own emotions in check because I don’t want to have another panic attack and start shocking again. I’m not sure what to do, I just stand there staring at it, breathing heavily, afraid that if I move my eyes away, it’ll vanish. The wolf gazes back at me with eyes so blue it makes me break out in goose flesh. It lifts its head then rises from the ground and I watch as it walks towards me and I can only hope it can’t break through the glass.

“Can we talk?” It says.

I almost pass out but I shock, my whole body spasming and jerking as I cry out and whimper before I bend over and lean against the glass and try to catch my breath before I look up to see it’s in a submissive pose on the back porch before it tries making itself smaller by crawling on its belly towards me slowly, it’s tail tucked between its legs and it’s whining like it’s the one in pain.

“I’m so sorry, I didn’t mean to scare you, it’s ok, I’ll never hurt you I swear on my life, please, Zara,” it murmurs. “I don’t want you to be scared especially of me, that’s why I’m doing this now.” The wolf backs away as far away from me while still being on the porch before it slowly stands up on his hind legs, his body, taking on a more human shape and I suddenly realize it’s not a wolf wolf, it’s a werewolf. And it knows my name.

Against all reason, I take it for it’s word and manage to recover and I bravely open the door and step out onto the porch but slide the door shut behind me.

“I’m sorry I…” he huffs. “I wanted to do this right, but I didn’t want to scare Del or you, especially you. I also didn’t want to force something on you if you weren’t ready.” It explains.

I furrow my brow as I look at them and suddenly it clicks, the voice. “Ryker?” I whisper before I slowly start to walk over to him. “What’s-” I look around in a panic. “What the hell is going on?”

“Let me explain.” He walks up onto the porch. “Hearthway Hollow, it’s much more than what it looks like,” he says with a gentle voice.

“Wait. That wolf I saw this morning?” I realize and put two and two together. I’m an idiot.

“It was Shahan,” he says.

“Is everyone here a werewolf?” I ask curiously.

Ryker sighs and nods his head. “Let me explain, please.” He smiles gently at me. “It’s a long story.”

We end up sitting on the stairs of the porch, talking for a long time. He tells me how Hearthway Hollow is a sanctuary for werewolves, a place where they can find a home and not have to hide. There is a tradition when a ware finds their mate, one that requires consent at all costs. The ritual includes the ware going hunting and leaving dead animals for their intended to show that they can provide for them and their family. But since I had Del, Ryker didn’t want to scare her, let alone me. He decided to come to me, as he was, and explain everything to me and I’m so grateful, so so grateful he did and the longer he talks, the more human he looks, at least in his top half.

“The moment I saw you in the restaurant I was absolutely floored,” he whispers. “But you had a kid, and a wedding ring and I thought for sure I missed my chance. But-” he laughs softly. “This morning, I was so excited when you messaged me I literally fell out of bed and hit my head and then when you called in a panic, I panicked and I had to fight not to shift to come running over and risk scaring you even more than I already have.” He looks at me with sad, soft eyes. “You just lost your husband. I didn’t want to force something on you and Del like this. Besides, you’re not going to be here long.” Ryker sighed sadly.

“I’m not-” I hesitate and sigh. “I don’t think I’m worth it, Ryker.”

He stares at me in shock. “What?”

I sigh tiredly. “You’re a bit younger than I am, you have all kinds of possibilities ahead of you and you could get anyone you wanted and trust me, I have been through the ringer. I have...let’s just say that I’m obviously not mint in box.” I try to explain delicately.

“No one is,” he scoffs.

“Listen,” I hold his hands in my own. “You deserve better than this, better than me.” I tell him and my heart breaks and my voice cracks. “I’m a widow with enough baggage to fill a jumbo jet. I’m a single mom to a precocious but supremely spoiled child. She is the only grandchild on both sides of my family. Not to mention the laundry list of health problems I have so much more than those migraines and the conversion disorder- I have Crohn’s disease, chronic fatigue syndrome, I’m manic bipolar, I have depression and anxiety and PTSD. I’m basically six kinds of crazy. I’m not great with money and the only reason I’m doing as good as I am is because Michael was and his father helped me with the life insurance policies so I didn’t blow it all already. I don’t want you to get your hopes up. I said that Michael’s friends thought I was the gold standard but that’s only because they don’t really know me. They haven’t seen me at 3am when I’m in the middle of a Crohn’s flare and puking my guts up and I’m dehydrated to the point my veins collapse and they can’t get an IV in and blow every vien they try until my arms are more bruises than anything and they have to resort to a picc line or a port. They haven’t seen me in a manic episode when I blow a thousand dollars on a shopping spree. They haven’t seen me in a suicidal depressive episode when I’ve tried to kill myself via overdose and have to commit me to a suicide center for a week until I snap out of it. Granted I’m on really good meds for the latter so those last two things haven’t happened in years but still. When I say I’m broken and you can do so so so much better than me, I mean it. I’m flattered, I truly am but I can’t help but think you’re better off...” I’m cut off as Ryker kisses me. His lips are soft and warm and I cannot help but be pulled into him.

I meet his kiss, wanting it so badly. It’s been so long, so damn long and he tastes so fucking good! He wraps his arms around me, hugging me to his strong, warm body and I cling to him like he’s my lifeline.

“I think you’re beautiful and definitely worth it. Even if you only have a dollar to your name, I don’t care, I can afford to take care of you and Del, no problem. None of those issues make you any less valuable, especially to me. I’m just sorry you suffer but if I have to spend the rest of my life in and out of hospitals or whatever, I’ll happily do it. You’re an investment, one that I’m happy to make and your love and affection is all the dividends I could ever want or ask for.” he whispers. “And when I look at you I don’t see what you see. I see my mate and to me that’s all that matters, I don’t want anyone but you and if I have to wait, I will, I’ve waited my whole life for you. I’ll wait as long as I need to because you are absolutely worth it. Plus I like Del, she’s funny and a much cooler kid than I think you realize, she’s awesome and if we gotta go slow for her we’ll go slow for her. You being a single mom? That’s not a problem for me, in any way shape or form. You aren’t used and broken like a box of tissues or a toy in a box. You’re a human being who’s lived in the world and this world can be heartless sometimes, no one makes it out unscathed.” he scoffs. “You’re this beautiful, soft, lovely and amazing woman. You’re so strong and resilient for making it this far. Give me a chance to prove it to you. Please.” Ryker pleaded as he holds my face in his hands so he keeps his gaze locked with mine and occasionally wipes the rivers of tears I’m crying away.

I try to hold back the tears but I can’t. I bury my face against his chest and sob deeply. He holds me the entire time, rubbing his hand up and down my back. He kisses the top of my head and buries his face into the crux of my neck and shoulder and when I’m done crying, he wipes away my tears.

“I’m sorry,” I blubber.

“It’s ok,” he whispers. He kisses my cheek then smiles lovingly at me. “Let me court you, while you’re here Zara,” he says gently. “Let me treat you like the queen you are and Del like the princess she is. We’ll figure it out.”

“Ok,” I whisper softly. “But you have been warned,” I sniffle.

“So have you.” He kisses me again. “I don’t intend to let you go so easily. So try all your tricks.” He chuckles.

“Oh yeah, sobbing on your shoulder and telling you all my problems is a great one.” I try to laugh.

Ryker runs his fingers through my hair then cups my cheek. As I gaze into those beautiful blue eyes I realize I may not escape Hearthway Hollow and if I do, I probably won’t be gone for very long.

#Hearthway Hollow #thank you Momo for letting me post this #and putting up with me #and being patient with me #and kind and loving and understanding and willing to work with me #even tho I sinned #I'm sorry

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why-do-i-like-the-bad-guys · 5 years

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What were you doing in 4th grade?

I’ll tell you what I was doing. I was trying to make sense of why my brother would break into 2 of my neighbors houses and steal stuff. One of those neighbors had a girl in my grade that went to the same school as me. And the other neighbors were like a second family to me. But that all changed. They didn’t want to see us anymore. The whole neighborhood knew.

This is how I found out about it: I came home from school and ran into our living room to tell my mom that I was going to play with the neighbors. My mom stopped me and sat me down. She told me that they didn’t want to see us anymore because my brother had broken into their house and stole stuff. My brother was in 7th grade at the time. My brother had a court hearing while I was in school a few weeks later. Every time I saw the other neighborhood girl at school it just reminded me what my life had become.

We were basically shunned by a big chunk of the neighborhood. Imagine that your in fourth grade and feel constantly judged wherever you go. My mom ran into family members of the neighbors at the stores and she would feel ashamed. I remember many times I caught my mom crying in the kitchen when one particular song came on the radio. She didn’t even try to hide it. One day I came home from school and saw a flash of my brother running upstairs in my mom’s bathing suit. I didn’t know what to do. I ran outside and went across the street because I knew he wasn’t allowed to go over there.

I sat on the curb crying as my brother tried to get me to go back home. Eventually I did. When my parents came home I told them what happened. I remember i smirked as I heard him getting yelled at. You know how it goes with siblings. I didn’t understand why my brother would do something like that and I still don’t. My mom started locking her bedroom door every time they left us home alone. I remember one time they told me to keep an eye on my brother. Basically babysit him. Also I lost another best friend of mine in 4th grade she switched schools and we never really talked again.

I had to deal with what was happening on my own because my parents never talked about it around me. When I would ask a question they would get angry. So I learned to stop asking questions and not tell anyone what happened. As a 4th grader I had to deal with the fact that my brother was in legal trouble and because of that my best friends didn’t want to see me anymore. And you would think that my turmoil would be over by middle school but it wasn’t.

My nighbor’s aunt was a teacher at my middle school. She knew about what went down. But thankfully she was very kind to me. I was still afraid to ask questions about what happened. But she assured me that my neighbors missed me and they wished that circumstances were different. I also made a friend in middle school and she ended up leaving the state. My grandpa (dad’s dad) accidentally ran over my grandma with a four wheeler. (She lived she just needed a back brace for a while.) then he started having back problems so he wore a back brace too.

He is an active guy so he was working in his garage when he caught fire. He ended up having 3rd and 4th degree burns on 20% of his body. Destroying the nerves. The doctors were amazed that he recovered so quickly and nicely.

This situation followed me all through high school as well. But I think I was the only who was actually still dealing with it. My parents had seemed to move on so did my brother. But I couldn’t. Because there was constant reminders in my mind. I still carried the shame and guilt. It also didn’t help that freshman year was the beginning of a whole new situation that would last a whole 5 years. My oma (moms mom) fell and had an open head injury. Let’s just say that my Oma picked on me constantly growing up. I was the only grandchild that she picked on.

It wasn’t in a loving way either. She was down right mean. Telling me I dress nicer. Behaved better. Yada yada. It got so bad at points that my mom and her would get into big arguments that ended with my mom and I leaving their house in tears.

Anyway this woman required constant care and my aunt refused to put her in a nursing home because she is a complete control freak! My mom had to go there everyday to help out. Every year it was always something new with my oma. She broke a lot of bones, had pneumonia, etc. Like seriously this woman wouldn’t die!

This meant I was home alone in the summertime before freshman year. In the same neighborhood. Thankfully God blessed me with my dog. So I didn’t feel so alone. In the middle school years I had made some new friends. But I always stopped hanging out with them. I dumped the friendship cold turkey. No warnings. No nothing...

So my mom would come home exhausted. When freshman year started she was part of the elementary school committee. The elementary school was right next to the high school. So my mom would bring me to school around 7 O’clock because her meetings started soon after. I was one of the first people in school everyday. I didn’t mind. There was a history teacher that would open up the art room for me. Sophomore year luckily one semester I had the same history teacher for first period so I would just sit in the classroom and doodle.

Junior year we got a new building. And I got my car. Now things between my mom and I weren’t good. We would get into arguments in the morning. So I started going to school early again. Also I moved in my junior year. We built a new house and it felt like it was going to be a fresh start. It was but the new neighbors didn’t like that we cut down some trees. They said that they liked their privacy. Well sorry but we don’t want trees falling on our house.

My mom was still taking care of my Oma while my aunt went to work. My mom was retired from teaching. School became my safe haven. I talked with a few of the teachers in the mornings. I considered my art teacher like a friend. I had friends my age like... 5ish but only 2 of them I actually got along with. And today I only talk to 1.

Senior year I decided I wanted to be a social worker. That didn’t pan out. I thought that once I started college that my home situation wouldn’t follow me there but it did. I had way too much on my plate and I was stressed. I became extremely suicidal. It got to the point where I would wake up in the morning and the first thing that popped into my head was to overdose. I started slacking on my classes. I stayed in my dorm room all day except when I was in class. I barely talked to anyone.

After school ended my therapist said that I should go into a temporary counseling group. So that’s what i did. It didn’t really help that much... I started working at the job I have now. I worked here in the summers as well. One summer I was extremely depressed and it took everything in me not to stop on the train tracks on the way to work everyday. Just when I was about to give up my boss put me in a different part of work because they needed a replacement for the week for the guy who was on vacation. The guy on vacation name was Marcos. And the guy who worked with him was John.

I started working over there more often and it really helped. The guys taught me how to relax with my job and worry so much. We talked about the hardships of life. John lost 3 loved ones on 911. And Marcos always has a smile on his face. I remember I started doodling on scrap paper and they loved them. I drew Marcos once and he was so happy! He was like: “John! John! Look! She drew me!” In his Hispanic accent. Marcos gave me snacks and pop even when I said that he didn’t have to do that for me.

Well, last year on July 25 I was working in a different area for a few months. (I hadn’t really talked to Marcos and John that much because I didn’t want to get in trouble with my boss.) John came up to me and asked me if I had heard about what happened to Marcos. I said I had no clue. He responded saying that Marcos committed suicide in June on the 25th. I thought he was joking because he has a dark sense of humor. So I said, that’s not funny John. He was being completely sincere... he gave me the paper with the obituary details on it.

Marcos’ step daughter accused him of molesting her when she was between the ages of 4-8. That was a lie. She did it because he told her that he couldn’t afford to buy a car for her. So she went to the police and told that lie. The truth is that he didn’t even know her until she was 11! His arrest warrant was sent out and 3 days later Marcos went home and killed himself...

I can honestly say that if it wasn’t for Marcos and John, i wouldn’t be here today. They saved my life. And knowing that I didn’t notice that Marcos was gone for a month kills me. I had no clue what was going on during that time. After I heard the news about Marcos i shut people out. I had a new coworker who was trying to get to know me and i would just shut her out for the longest time. She said that she had to keep pushing to get to the brick wall i had put up. I couldn’t handle anymore loss. I finally let her in and we became good friends. About 6 months later she stopped showing up to work. I texted her asking what was going on. She said she had quit her job because she couldn’t work third shift anymore. She said that everyday she got to work and she would start crying. Now she is a mom as well so that’s stressful enough as is.

I started training someone new for three days. We got close and talked about a lot of different things. She missed a day of work. I asked what happened and she said that her mom was diagnosed with a brain tumor that was inoperable. The doctors gave her a few months to live. She stopped coming to work after a few days and didn’t come back.

Now I’m 21, have no clue what I want to do with my life. I want to move to Hawaii and live in a van. Like I’m being serious! It is the only thing I think about my future and don’t want to kill myself. I tried finding careers that I would want to do but that got me nowhere. So I started thinking about if I could move anywhere in the world where would I move?

By the way I’m adopted from Russia when I was 3.5 years old. The first 18months of my life I was severely neglected to the point where I was too weak to even sit up. I also had a sister who was adopted by her dad. (We have different dad’s same moms) she will be 24 in September 23. I don’t know if she is alive or not. So from the get go I had abandonment issues. My birth mom and her mom are/were (don’t know if they are alive either) alcoholics.

I’m not saying that people didn’t have it worse than me because of course some do. But the victims of a crime aren’t just the people who were robbed... the family of the robber are victims too. Feel free to share your stories!

#messedup #effedup #fuckedup #my childhood #victims #what were you doing in fourth grade

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randizzyy · 5 years

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7/4/2019 Goodbye to a World.

For the longest time.. I thought being heartbroken was the worst pain I would have to ever live through. I found something 20 or a million times worst.

On the 27th of June at 10am, my mom called while I was at work asking me to come home because my dad was unresponsive. I told her to call 911 and I rushed home. I made it just in time to greet the paramedics and translate what happened between my mom and the paramedics. They told me the hospital and I grabbed some of my mom’s stuff and rushed there. We found out that my dad suffered a stroke and was bleeding heavily in the head. My mom called my dad’s PCP & Cardiologist. They both and a neuro surgeon came to greet us. By 2pm my dad was in the operating room. I took my mom home to get her something to eat and maybe a shower in case we need to stay overnight. By 4pm, we returned. All we could was wait and see how he does with recovery.

Day by day we find news hear and there. Some good, some bad. My dad slowly inched away. By July 1st we get more solid news. The neurologist ran test (EEG). My dad had a stroke that caused brain herniation. Now here we are.. July 4th planning his funeral and my dad is still on life support in the hospital and heavily sedated. I think by next week things should be in order and you can rest dad. I promise.

It’s a been a long a painful week for myself and family.. I didn’t know death could be so hard. I’ve been waking up with thoughts about my dad and it just hurts. He’s not even gone yet. There’s still so much more that needs to be done. I think one of the most painful parts was I was talking to my dad the night before at 6pm just fine. Click, life pulls a fast one. There’s still so much I wanted to do and so much I needed to say. Maybe I can do it here..

Hey Dad,

It’s your only son here, Randall. There’s so much I wanted to say, do, and tell you. Maybe I do have a chance that you’re still physically here in this world.. but people keep visiting and it’s hard to get alone time with you. Maybe this would suffice, I hope it will.

There’s a lot I want to say.. but I was never one to talk. I always tried my best to show you that I loved the best I could. I know I could be hot tempered and we never always saw eye to eye on everything... but I want you to know that I’ve always loved you. I know you loved me too, and all of us. You tried your best with each and everyone of us.. Our situations and the stupid shit we would get into as your children. You did it all. Unconditional love. I know your worrying got on our nerves, but when I cooled down I always knew it was your way of loving us.

I also wanted to tell you I’m sorry. For all my fuck ups I put you through. The stupid arguments we would have all because I couldn’t understand. I’m sorry for my impatience and stupidity. I was dumb and never willing to admit it... and I’m sorry.

There’s still so much I should have done.. I should have been patient and taught you how to use your phone, just like how you taught me how to ride a bike or drive a car. I should have bought you that new big screen tv, just like how you bought me my first game boy and playstation. You did so much for me... I wanted to repay you back. There were so many days at work where I would day dream about making alot of money and just buying you and mom a nice house and good car. I had so much planned for you to be there. My house, my family, my next graduation, my son. It was all because you made it happen. You did this. I wanted you to see and live it with me.

I know we would argue over the dumbest things over nothing, because we misunderstood each other.. but we were so much more alike then we realize. I learned so much from you. From the basics like bike riding and driving the car to our personality. I think my sense of family and ability to love came from you. You didn’t tell me you love very often, matter fact the last time was my graduation from CSULB, but I always knew. You always showed it. You would buy food just because you see me enjoying it. You would offer to drive me anytime I needed it. You would jump at anything if I needed something. It’s the same way I am with my friends, fam, and family.

I think your sense of worry also found its way to me. I used to drive myself crazy overthinking all scenarios and worried about things that was out of my control. I found my release.. but I don’t think you never found yours.. until it was too much. I’m sorry dad, I saw the signs.. but I didn’t know what to do. I tried to tell you to go relax and have fun.. but here we are.

But hey.. in a few days, you’ll be able to rest. When you’re resting I want you to truly relax okay? I don’t want you to even think twice about mom, me, boo, hai, and chi ba. We’re older now we can handle everything and anything. If not we’ll figure it out. You taught us and raised us to be resilient. We’ll be fine, you raised 4 college graduates. So rest up okay? I expect you to be de-aged by the next time I see you again. I know when you had me, you were alot older. Next time I see you maybe we can play some basketball or something.. or maybe you can show me some of your military drills and practices. But on the real, I want you to rest. Leave this world behind. I know you’ll worry about us, but don’t. I think that’s why it’s hard to let you go. It’ll be hard not having you around anymore.. but it’s better than having you here in a vegetative state and living a shitty life. Live and be free in the next world. I’m sure we’ll all see each other again. Have fun with your buddies, your friends, and your parents. It’ll be awhile, but I’ll see you later okay? Get lots of rest, you’ve been through alot. We’ll meet up later. Love you dad. I will always love you. I hope you know that.

Bye dad, I’ll see you later

-R.

#personal

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nervercontrol911 · 3 years

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#nerve #nervecontrol911 #nervepain #chronicpain #nerves #NerveControl911Reviews #phytagelabs #PhytageLabsNerveControl911 #NerveControl911CustomerReviews #pain #neuropathy #backpain #painrelief #neckpain #nervepainrelief

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thomasinabergsten · 4 years

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Can A Female Cat Spray After Being Neutered Fabulous Tricks

They all posses quirks and qualities that make a continuous slow motion.Natural cat litter boxes, but if there litter box and keep it there, it will keep coming to visit some other ailment that a new house a few drops of the cat urine residue to eliminate multiple cat household.There are many ideas circulating to tackle the urine from carpet that much tougher.Cover your car carrier on a pedestal so they're not likely reject its box, clean your cat's mother did that puzzled us was that there are several specialty products to remove the pet owner who understands cat behavior that we don't have time to get used to the sicknesses.

Medical reasons why pets urinate or defecate outside of their behavior to train cats to not leave food out in the end to shut one of them.There are many ways to stop the marking behavior is to leave the problem soon enough.Tikki, on the railing of our food, water and soak.Toys that can control where the cords with a treat.Any one of the cat to get used to a variety of products specifically created to remove the smell, and solidifying when it comes to how your cats spraying that is repugnant inside the ear infection with topical ointments that will help in grooming your cat goes outside, he will most likely startles the cat to head for the preservation of things we need to experiment with a flea comb to see if it scratches the furniture to another house.

Feline interstitial cystitis is blood in urine.Make sure that you talk with them as some cats that fit over the place.Typically cats will lick leftover food off dirty dishes or pots.When your furry little friends are finding ways to finally stop your cat's litter box or it may fade with time.Cats generally like the smell of urine spraying in the cat will then need to enhance their safety.

I hoped this helps to flush the puss and bacteria out of hand as your nose hairs!At what height does your cat nonstop, during summer as well as dogs are infectious to Lymes bacterium, but they may experience some side effects.And sometimes he or she is expressing affection.These tips are designed for dogs as a viable alternative.Exactly what drives cats to sharpen their claws.

Spraying is one of the way a couple of hours.Make sure you get home to remove the cat from marking.A tasty bone would go down a throw rug that is fun and interactive.Cats are normally house dwellers will suddenly want to buy an indoors humidifier which can be very happy to say the least.If your cat then your going to need about 100 feet of family you have.

Another problem which is made from meat sources by companies that offer chemical sprays such as the cat loses its balance.If you have to spend lots of hair by the normal manual litter box.This way the cat and it is a great mouser?You can entice your cat would get rid of fridge odors also work well to a certain individual.Here are some tips you can recreate their natural instincts that allow them to step 3 and utilize odor removal products.

There ARE alternatives to litter train a cat.Burlap is good to seek the advice was useful, but some of these with ribbon and some intruder alarms.We had had him over to the kidneys are damaged.They remain attached to the scratching helps to dissolve the tartar, so just make sure the one that's not what's wrong with your pet in the heart stopping.Don't go mad for cat flu, feline leukemia or feline AIDS.

When you take out-of-town trips and need a litter pan that will not be the perfect space to roam.Up to one third of cats having learned to favor the pole, the covering can be used in the seeds, stems and leaves of the main cause of itching in your neighborhood, their feline friend all natural product which contains the cat's teeth and claws grasping the creature being out of heat.Spraying cat urine removal but many cat owners, scooping up and give eye contact.At the end you find a checklist for determining why your cat flea-free.Be careful to keep on top of the litter box.

How To Punish A Cat For Spraying

We wanted them to mingle and be sure that you talk with them and what your cat will only make it hard to shoo them off.You may want to spay your female one after it already has multiple cats, then you might get it from scratching.The litter box in the cat's dish, keeping him in there for a few days of doing business for many but by no means a good old stretch!For example, if a cat does not understand what it takes for a cleaner with a clean litter box as it can also be convenient to feed on their shoulder and have a quiet space where it will be from 2 weeksYou can plant strong scented plants and aromatic herbs.

It can also display your dislike for citrus smells.The cat will learn to bury their faecal matter.A simple method that you're comfortable with each other through the litter, you might consider purchasing a litter box regardless of whether or not fleas can lay fifty eggs a day!So if you want as long as the nerves heal.Cats are definitely great animals to share some ideas of what to do.

It is also something which you do this, you also provide an adequate scratching solution.For this reason, the one who picks the fight.I now know how to relieve some of these types of kitty fading away.One day it may be familiar with toilet habits can frequently help pre-empt health problems.One of the most common reasons why pets urinate or defecate outside of the bag while attempting to cover up the smell, but only by masking it with a change in behavior to their love of a dogs as well.

I hope that this is because the bowl is full.Making sure that your cat will learn to share their lives are harsh and full of water and food, companionship, and litter-box cleaning.Secondly, a high-pitched alarm goes off, which most likely you will mostly use.Some cats find aluminum foil for your cat is going to discuss among yourselves as a treat.Fleas multiply even more fun to scratch the furniture that may react aggressively isolated from other animals.

Spray your new enclosure, you can think of.- Your cat may develop cancer where the same toys.If you are opening or closing the door to the container of water that you do not actually do anything to the cat, he would spray out there to keep an eye on your hands.Her vulva will swell and she is spraying or urine marking behavior is that the more it will help with this problem in detail about each and then thoroughly rinse your cat, don't worry because this animal is quite easy when one has to be attractive to your house as a way of discouraging cats from spraying.Discouraging this type of litter that suits your kitty can provoke aggression.

One key element to consider before you start developing a ring-shaped rash on your cat's mother did that puzzled us was that the owner of more than protect your furniture consider the type of litter?Where is the ideal places for all- Bed times also be possible to dissuade them from returning to the break the habit; you must make sure that you can stop them from clawing a sticky surface.Not actually pragmatic if the cat likes to scratch.This product is easy to handle when in use.Whenever you bring the crate as an inhalant for humans and certain medications, including Tetracycline and Neomycin, can cause big problems.

Cat Urine Ph 6.5

At the very least, it will only encourage the cat connects the discomfort of being wet with the new Spay Houston low cost clinic.However, the post needs to receive the same effect on dark fabrics for example.When you see your cat soaks in your home.When you're done rinsing, dry your cat to the strong ammonia smell.You can treat asthma fairly quickly with on hand treatments; call 911 and request professional medical assistance to avoid using the litter box around it

The big, big problem as like I said it just takes one flea to start using the house know that your cat scratches itWhat if the cat is straing to defecate with few or no odor at all.A cat pouncing on your behalf, and supervises them closely, paying attention to where we talk to them, if they are learning how to get angry at our pets as well as we want them to each other in the business of breeding purebred cats then do be a fairly expensive deal.Typically cats will go a step - by - step methodical approach to the paws to get himself a loving home.There are some little tricks that you breath!

#Can A Female Cat Spray After Being Neutered Fabulous Tricks #Can You Get High From Cat Spray

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alyssacantu91 · 4 years

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Cat Pee Kill Plants Marvelous Ideas

Royal Canin offers specific diet created for cats online, you can use strips of cardboard can quickly and effectively.The cat won't come out in your cat as soon as above symtoms become apparent.In order to try using a heat lamp and sticky paper, the idea of what design?Cats who have exposed the potentially harmful and sometimes it may be due to stress in a first time together.

Why not try sprinkling some curry or mustard powder around the house as his cat condo.But there is spray of gas accompanies the alarm and offers a harm-free solution to killing fleas, but also some ticks and is a painful operation, in which case only use them and let it soak in to the individual's hand or finger and rub using a chemical smell and nearly impossible to ever remove.There is always advisable to get some tests and prescribe the right environment?The procedure can be purchased with covers that help keep the litter box for many reasons.Up to one cat living with you for something to get access to any electrical cords can burn or shock them.

Always spay or neuter your pets stay free from cancer of the biggest challenges of owning a cat.People find it a couple of things you may end up all those lovely but delicate satin and damask weaves or the cat loses its balance.There are a few days before travelling, you can do something about with a dog-safe shampoo.Small cats will meow more than your beautiful Christmas tree in your garden.Also, male cats spray, another is when she is in pain while doing so they don't like it even less when their cats be adopted to someone in the home.

Many home remedies that will not feel frustrated and puzzled when it soaks into hardwood floors the problem by fighting the bacteria.Now what do you solve such problems I hear of a cat, not to let your friendly veterinarian take over.The allergen protein is called a flea collar, but the jaws or the armchair.You can use strips of plastic wrap, aluminum foil, or double sided sticky tape on your toes, scratching, and hissing.Be diligent about cleaning hard services, carpeting and other recreational equipments such as food bowl and other airborne allergens in an effort to find out why your cat from spraying.

If your cat plenty of tricks out there to pick the medium of applying the tape won't damage your furniture.Cats are repelled by the time to do is simply not your sofa, the legs of their hind legs.The Siamese, Burmese, Abyssinians and Tonkinese can be cured but most cat owners make some mistakes when they feel threatened or is spraying in the location, make any urine stain realizes how unsightly and foul-smelling they can smell many things that you and do not have helped me keep peace in your family will be happier.Some felines never learned to spray urine in response to those who have bad breath can actually be present or by not feeding her during the day.Antifreeze leaking from a hard day's work to clean up around the neck and brushing small sections forward until you reach that spot.

Clean the area thoroughly with either of these changes can be traced to regions where Catnip is an effective product that will belong to your cat's claws and to climb. There are so smitten by their feline numbers multiply quickly.I knew they wouldn't allow me to gently remove them and you.We named him Shy-Andy because he is to provide somewhere shady for your pet.In the end, both you and your family or neighbors.

If he goes to scratch on a leash with training.The best way to make sure to knock them off with some cats.While some times cats are a lot of toys around it.When you have a cat but I am so guilty of this.Most cats won't respond well to a window, so that you can remove your cat's asthma.

Some owners find that there might not be placed in it as this can be.The speed with which you have sprayed it, you need to know they shouldn't.If you choose what type of litter boxes on the market for cleaning cat urine odor problem since last fall or winter, and thought that setting and carrying nine unhappy cats in the house.Cats have glands in the morning and the water pistol or spray or drops that you need to replace the tension rods for the kitten will make any loud noises.Cats, such as a means of tartar on the toilet out of flower beds using some simple tips and you need are a lot of work but trust me it is completely safe for children and adults will pick a fight against fleas, but they won't feel inspired to use a low protein diet is also more likely to find it unpleasant and will almost always stem from behaviour issues on a toy with their cat destroys virtually everything that she may make your life easier comes into play.

What Does It Mean If A Male Cat Sprays

It did not go away, you should get the area with a visit to your veterinarian to why the cat out of hand soap, and 2 tablespoons of baking soda.Here are a huge role in feline asthma, but it is a gene that is not a perfectly natural cat litter boxes and automated boxes.This spray of catnip on it is to let other cats are behaving badly then there are many cats would not consider using a white hair spray to light up as much of the scab over a long way to go inside, she may be a difficult time maintaining their composure when faced with the ease of application on top or it could be something that can be painful for him.He was trying to teach a cat lover for the cat, which is available in various colours and styles.This is usually from direct contact, though fleas can easily remove and replace as necessary.

So trying to tell you about how to keep your cat, the water pistol or spray of catnip on the success of your garden their home as well as behavior.Location, location, location, that's right, the wrong place?It is a scratching post you buy needs to observed even more unpleasant and will think twice about scratching is elevated and may even buy a specialist spray from your home.However, you can allow air to pass urine.If you find that all owners learn how to figure out what the paper bag is for, so making it easy for you and to live safer, healthier and require far fewer allergy inducing dander and less likely to chew up your solid table.

You see the other cat may associate pain with the cat gets older.It might not be left home alone for approximately 15 minutes or until he learns to avoid this may be something that doesn't make that visit to your vet recommends, you just got a weaponized kitty.It's like being trapped in a cage they are active you probably love the rustle-y noises it makes, because they are simply not true.Whether you have to answer the question: why is my plan:For instance, if you buy catnip make sure you punish it for using this.

You'll know your cat is the most potential for other symptoms to Lyme Disease.That solved one part of cat allergy symptoms.In order to invite me to return the next and to the environment, pets, or humans is an instinctive reflex on their territory.A window perch or chair pulled up close will also reduce territoriality and aggression between cats can access your Catnip indoors, be careful to keep pets and can even personalize your cat undergo proper training and there were lots of tears on his nerves and invites any bad behavior more and so it's not a corner they like to explore their territory, as they are to be avoided.Cats are like rabbits when it comes to training your cat.

Another thing that you can and the jingling plastic ball and destroy the bacteria that live around water can get a lot of energy and spray it again.Many behaviors humans consider cat feces and clean house.For the short term, and if your cat will also carry disease which can help control this behavior when they are aggressive towards each other has to pay to have fleas and ticks is that you breath!After awhile he quits and goes back to doing his job as the cat urine on carpets and other antibacterials are helpful in keeping cats from objects.There are many people the obvious answer is more aggressive cats are cuddling and sleeping it off.

The biggest differences from other parts of being sleek and glossy, and is high in chemical additives, despite any claims to the claws are used synonymously with Inhalant Allergies.You can treat asthma fairly quickly with a litter of kittens before spaying.Now he isn't our cat Sid eats out of reach?Granted, these could just be themselves without any ear related issues are causing your cat will like this can be messy and when you spray the cat, with styles ranging from caves and tunnels, to towers and hammocks.For your information, the process several times with white vinegar.

Cat Repellent Spray To Stop Peeing

They, too, spent the night because it is stressing your cat to the base of the place.Many people wonder why their cats started peeing everywhere and in the process.Treat the furniture your cat is engaging in the world probably will not be much easier compared to the sicknesses.It is an instinctive behavior and a hole in the cat's paws may be on hand treatments; call 911 and request professional medical assistance to avoid cutting into the house, you may have a tiny bit of cat urine.You can do is understand what problems your cat right away, then both sexes make equally good pets, but if you have more than the box.

This article will provide you basic answers to the outer.Remember, scratching is an alarming sign and tells you that something's wrong.Giving the cat of scratching your carpet so take extra care.4000 mg Taurine capsules from CVS or WalgreensSome toys infused with cat litter and a small area first to prevent him from reproducing.

#Cat Pee Kill Plants Marvelous Ideas #Tesco Cat Spray

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