#NOOO I ACCIDENTALLY COLORED OVER SOME OF HIS LEG HAIR

[jiauro]

[hillnerd]

puppies for sale

Rating: PG  AO3  ff.net Summary: Ron goes to pick up the kids from the Burrow, which should be an easy thing- but there are puppies for sale down the road. Domestic Weasley-Granger family fluff. not beta-ed. we die like men ;)   ------------------

“Mum, I’m here!” called Ron, as he stepped out of the floo to his childhood home, spelling away the soot before he tromped it all over and got an ear-full for it. The Burrow always remained the same, the only sign of the passage of time was the people inside, and the occasional photo or children’s artwork being changed out on the walls. A fragrant baking smell wafted through the house, and he could faintly hear the sound of children laughing. 

“In the kitchen, dear!”

He happily trounced over to see what his Mum had been baking, hoping she wasn’t saving it for anyone. He hadn’t gotten in much of a lunch and his stomach was fiercely growling.

“Something smells good.”

“Fig rolls,” she said with a satisfied smile. Like his dad and all the rest of their older redheaded relatives, her hair wasn’t graying, just fading into a pale rose color with little white streaks here and there. “You look hungry. Help yourself to some rolls and a glass of milk.”

Ron gave her a kiss on the cheek before taking a still warm fig roll from the plate and quickly tucking in. He gave an appreciative sigh. “Can you write up the recipe for these?”

She took out a card from her recipe box and quickly duplicated it onto a spare slip of parchment. 

“How was the shop?”

“Chaos as usual,” he said, wiping some crumbs from his beard. “But we’ve been working on some ideas recently that really have potential in defense and business markets, so I’m feeling rather good about that… Where are the kids at?”

“With your father near his shed. Don’t worry, I don’t let them go inside it!” 

Ron furtively rolled his eyes. No matter how many times they all assured her of the shed’s safety, she remained staunchly convinced that everything in there could spring to life with ‘ekeltrickedy’ and murder any visitors. Why she thought only her husband could survive the death trap was beyond him, but he knew better than to question her at this point. 

“Thanks for the food and the recipe! I’ll take a whack at it after the Halloween rush,” he said, heading out to find the children.

His dad was sitting in a Muggle folding camp chair Hermione had gifted him. He’d been giddy about it for months, and took it out so regularly it got banned from the house itself after he’d set it up in the dining room one too many times.

“Watch out, you might be accosted soon,” he warned Ron, twitching his head near the garden wall. There stood a few lean-tos, made from pieces of apple boxes, sticks, and decorated with a great deal of leaves. Magic was surely holding them in place, because they looked incredibly structurally unsound.

“Halt!” cried Rose, jumping from behind a tree. She jabbed a wand-shaped stick in Ron’s direction as he approached. “This is our society!”

“Yeah! Our sosety!” Hugo repeated from inside an apple box. He laid on his stomach and poked the dirt with his ‘wand.’

“It’s society,” Rose harshly whispered at her brother, making Ron shake his head at her tone. She sounded just like Hermione when she’d been a snooty first year. He’d have to work on that with her. Last thing he wanted was his little girl getting bullied for the same stuff her mother had. If Hugo had seemed at all upset Ron would have intervened, but instead Hugo had a gleeful grin on his face.

“SOCIETY!” Hugo boldly bellowed, pointing his own ‘wand,’ before laughing and flapping his hands in excitement. 

“Careful now. Don’t put your eye out,” Ron said, flicking his wand to keep the flailing stick away from Hugo’s face, narrowly avoiding an accident.  

“We made our own society!” Rose proclaimed. “You need to ask permission to come in.”

“Ah, well, may I enter your society?”

 It wasn’t that hard to get into their society. Rose immediately took him by the hand and started giving a tour.

“Over there is our ministry, and a museum, and over here is the hospital, and over there the jail. Hugo’s been there a lot.”

“Oh? Now why is that?” Ron asked, looking over to his dad in concern. He didn’t want Hugo being picked on.

“He just liked that box the most,” Dad replied for them, as Rose had lost interest in the tour and was decorating the ministry roof with more leaves. “Rosie dubbed it a jail, and Hugo didn’t much care until she said it’s where ‘bad men go’. There was a spot of caterwauling about that, but then he found he’d rather be in a spacious apple box jail instead of the other buildings that were so cramped and falling over. Also, no spider webs in the jailhouse.”

“There are spiders in these?” Ron asked, voice going high. He began to tromp towards the ‘museum.’

“No no, only webs,” Dad laughed, patting Ron on the arm.

Not feeling as amused about the society Rose had created, he announced, “alright, kids. Time to wrap it up and head home.”

“No! We can’t go home yet!” Rose yelled, accidentally knocking her precarious ministry  decorations to the ground as she ran over. “We were supposed to go look at puppies!”

“Daddy, we hafta see the puppies! We hafta!” Hugo whined, shimmying along his belly to work his way out of the apple box. 

“Puppies?” Ron repeated.

“The Watsons have some puppies down the road,” said Dad, polishing his glasses. “They have them for sale right now.”

“Maybe next time.”

“Nooo, they might all be sold and gone by then!” Rose practically wailed, her face starting to turn red. Hugo’s brown eyes started to fill with tears at the idea.

Ron gave a sigh and looked to his father, who gave a shrug. He’d never hear the end of it if they didn’t get to see them.

“The Watsons…” Ron asked. “They’re the ones to the West with the goats?”

“That’s right.”

“Pleeeease can we see the puppies, Daddy?” Hugo asked, pulling at Ron’s trouser leg. 

Unable to think of a reason to disappoint his children, Ron promptly told them yes. He made sure to bundle them up, as a crisp fall wind had picked up, then the three of them walked to the Watsons’ small farm.

Sure enough along the dirt country road was a cardboard sign stating ‘puppies for sale.’ Rose read the sign out loud for Hugo, and Ron had to quickly grab their hands before they dashed into the property. He helped them over the cattle guard, then walked them to the barn door where he could see old Mrs Watson shaking out a blanket. She was a stout hardy looking old woman, who had a genial face with deep craggy smile lines all over the place.

“Hello, dears. You must be one of them Weasley boys, aren’t you?” she asked, straightening her apron in a way that reminded him of his mother. Rose politely smiled at her while Hugo quietly hid himself behind Ron’s leg.

“That’s right, Mrs Watson. I’m Ron, Molly and Arthur’s youngest of the boys,” he said with a smile. “And these are mine. Rose and Hugo.”

“Goodness! I remember when you were just a sprout of a thing toddling about behind your other brothers. Can’t believe you’re old enough to have your own children!” She gave a shake of her head then squinted down at Rose and Hugo. “I imagine you want to see some puppies, don’t you?”

“Yes please,” Rose said in a burst of enthusiasm, as Hugo’s hands began to tug at Ron’s trouser leg. 

“Well you go on in. We have them in the birthing stall to the right. Feel free to let yourself into it and pet them, just don’t let them out,” she said. Without prompting Rose hurried into the barn, while Hugo stayed attached to Ron’s leg. “Would you all like some hot chocolate to warm you up?”

“What do you say, Hugh?” Ron asked, craning his neck to see Hugo’s face. 

Hugo pulled his father’s hand until Ron was leaning over, and whispered in his ear, “I wanna have chocolate and puppies.”

“You can do both,” Ron assured him, in a low voice. Hugo gave a small smile.

“Hot chocolate sounds lovely, Mrs Watson, thank you.”

“Alright me lovers, you go see puppies and I’ll have some hot chocolate in no time!” she said with a kindly look at Hugo.

Once Mrs Watson was gone Hugo enthusiastically pulled Ron into the barn, with Ron stooped the whole way. 

Rose had waited outside the pen, though Ron wasn’t sure if it was for Hugo’s sake or because she wasn’t sure how to open the two-way gate latch. 

Toddling about the hay were seven or so adorable fluffy puppies, some black and some brown. Rose and Hugo immediately were all giggles and squeals, kneeling down and enthusiastically getting investigated by the curious pups. They spent a long time getting licked and playfully nipped at, and Ron felt immensely grateful he’d decided to let them visit the pups, despite one chewing on his shoelaces and another whizzing on him. He surreptitiously spelled it away, not wanting to ruin the moment.

“Oooooh, look at its little paws!” Rose cooed, holding one in her lap, not noticing it enthusiastically teething her messy braid. 

“I like this one!” Hugo said, holding a much more calm pup, who looked smaller than the rest of them. It happily nuzzled into Hugo’s arms.

“I have some hot chocolate here,” said Mrs Watson, bringing over some throw away mugs with plastic lids. “Figured if you couldn’t drink it all, you could bring it home for later.”

“Quite thoughtful, thank you,” said Ron, accepting the drinks, noting the kids had little enthusiasm for anything but the puppies still. Not wanting to be rude, he stayed next to Mrs Watson to chat, while the kids continued to play.

“How are your mother and father doing?” she asked.

“Mum’s still cooking away, Dad’s still working, but they watch the grandkids a lot. That’s why we’re here today.”

“How many grandkids are there now?”

“Hard to keep count!” he said with a smile. “But I think it’s... twelve now? I don’t think I’m leaving anyone out.”

“Christmas must be spectacular!”

“A bit crowded, but yeah, it’s quite nice.”

“I’m sure it is. I only have two grandchildren, but I love it when they visit. Had them up last weekend to get one of the puppies. Started with twelve puppies, same as your family, but now all are spoken for but one.”

“Which one?”

“The littlest one, but that Clark White down the road’s been saying he might come by to get one.”

Ron bristled a bit. He remembered Mr White, a sinister old bugger of a man. He never tended his fences, was always in disputes with neighbors, and his animals all had a forlorn look about them. 

Just then there was a brisk knock on the barn door, and in came the man himself, looking surly as ever. He resembled a dried fig that had been bleached by the sun, and his thin lips were turned down in a permanent frown that only served to emphasize his jowls. He and Mrs Watson exchanged pleasantries, though neither looked particularly pleased about it. 

“Which ones are available still?” 

“I’m afraid only one,” answered Mrs Watson.

“Ain’t the runt, is it?” He snorted.

“It is, but he’s a hardy little thing. I doubt he’ll end up much smaller than the rest of the pups when he’s grown.”

The old man peered into the stall, and pointed a gnarled finger.

“That’s it, yeah?” 

Hugo looked up at the old man and his eyes widened. He clutched the little puppy closer to himself. 

“That’s the puppy, yes.” 

Without preamble he opened the stall door and reached toward the puppy in Hugo’s arms. 

“Now wait a second,” Ron began, but it was too late.

Hugo gave a small cry and the dog gave a sharp yipe, jerked by the scruff of his neck by the savage Mr White. Rose looked to her father with pleading blue eyes. Hugo let out a sob and buried his face in Rose’s stomach. 

“Looks healthy enough,” Mr White said, roughly opening the puppy’s mouth to inspect its teeth. “I’ll take—”

“We’ll take him!” Ron cried out. Rose gasped, while Hugo kept his face safely tucked into his sister. 

“What?” Mr White snapped, his severe face contorting into a nasty mix of shock and rage. Ron used the man’s surprise to pluck away the puppy and bring it to his own chest.

Ron found it hard not to smirk at the old sour faced prune. “I said, we’re taking him.”

“Really?!” Rose cried out, patting her brothers russet curls. “Hugo! It’s ok! Daddy’s getting the puppy!”

“I’ll give you five hundred cash, right now,” said Mr White, reaching into his mangy work coat to bring a wad of Muggle paper money out.

Ron’s self assured smile began to falter when he realized he wasn’t sure if he had any Muggle money on him. He patted himself, but realized there was no wallet. He didn’t have so much as two pence on him, just some knuts and galleons he decidedly could not give Mrs Watson. Panic reeled as his daughter looked at him with nothing but confidence in her beaming freckled face.

“Oh, I’m sorry, Mr White, but I’m afraid the puppy’s spoken for already,” said Mrs Watson, shaking her head. “Plus, as you said, it’s the runt. I’m just trading it for a few of Molly Weasley’s pies.”

“You’re joking,” Mr White snarled. “This is ridiculous! I told you I wanted one last week!”

“Well you never said which one, that I recall, but my memory’s not what it used to be… Sorry to disappoint you, Clarke,” she said with a large smile. 

He gave an ugly look at them all before stomping out of the barn and slamming the door behind him. Hugo’s hands went to his ears and he further buried his face in Rose’s stomach. Not wanting to overwhelm Hugo further, Ron turned to Mrs Watson.

“I didn’t mean to cause you trouble,” he said, with an apologetic look.

“Oh it’s no trouble. Any excuse to slight Clarke White makes my day a little bit brighter, truth be told.”

 “Well, I can’t let you give away the puppy for a few pies. How much is the pup, really?”

“Well, I’ve been asking three hundred. They’re purebred, good guard stock, with all their shots and de-worming and such. But I meant what I said. You just have two of Molly’s pies here some time before Christmas and we’ll call it quite even.”

“I’ll make sure you have them whenever you want. Thank you, Mrs Watson. And I’ll add in something more than just the pies,” Ron said, before slowly approaching the children. 

Rose was still stroking Hugo, whose hands were firmly stuck to his ears. Ron knelt down and brought the puppy up between them. “Let’s sit down and sip our hot chocolate, and pet this new puppy of ours. We don’t have to deal with that mean, scary old man again, I promise you.”

It took some coaxing, but Hugo finally removed his hands and stroked the puppy’s fluffy little head, worrying the ear of the dog between his fingers. After some more calming down they drank most of their hot chocolate, bid Mrs Watson a fond goodbye (she was kind enough to give him a collar and enough kibble for a few days), and walked back to the Burrow, puppy buried in Ron’s coat. Even being a ‘runt’ and ten weeks old it was too heavy for the kids to carry for long.

Both his mother and father shook their heads at him for buying the puppy, but he didn’t want to bring up Mr White in front of the children so held his tongue. They flooed home, and Ron set about making a nesting box for the pup. Hugo and Rose were eager to help make it as cozy as they could with long abandoned stuffed animals and blankets. 

“What should we name him?” Ron asked them, as the little pup sleepily walked in a circle before toppling onto his side to sleep.

“Broomstick,” said Hugo.

“Quaffle,” Rosie offered.

“I’m sensing a theme…” said Ron, looking about the nearest shelf for a quidditch book. “Perhaps we can name him after a famous quidditch player?”

“We could name him after Aunt Ginny!” 

“He’s a boy, though,” Rose protested. 

“Names are just names, they don’t have to be ‘boy or girl’ names,” Ron supplied, remembering an article Hermione’d given him to read about it a few years prior. “But I don’t think Aunt Ginny wants to share her name with a dog.”

“Why not name him after Viktor Krum?” Rose said with a smile. 

Ron couldn’t deny the idea of having his dog named Krum wouldn’t be that bad, but then again he didn’t want to deal with Hermione’s wrath should she find it insulting.

“Hmm… Someone we don’t know?” he prompted.

“The Cannons!” Hugo crowed. “Wait I know!”

“Chudley!” they all three chorused together.

Ron gave a hearty laugh that made Chudley open his eyes before promptly falling asleep again. “You definitely are my children!”

Hugo lettered, with help from Rose, Chudley’s name across the side of the box. Only one of the letters was backwards, which was quite the accomplishment. Rose decorated it with a variety of stickers and hand drawn flowers, stars and Cannons logos.

Hermione owled to say she was running late. He would have preferred the ‘we have a dog now’ reveal to happen with the children present so she couldn’t give him as much of an earful, but her schedule had been quite mad at the Ministry recently.

The children were exhausted from all the excitement, so he managed to get them fed, bathed and asleep early and without much fuss. 

Ron put on the radio, sat on the sofa and took out a notebook to make some notes for the Wheezes marketing campaign for Halloween. Chudley was curled up in his box with old Crookshanks curiously peering down from the hearth.

“You be nice, you old ginger bastard,” Ron said with a warning look. Crookshanks turned his yellow glare at Ron before jumping from the hearth onto the sofa, butting his head against Ron’s leg. He rolled over to show his old pudgy tummy. 

“Oh I know that’s a trap! But nice try,” said Ron, remembering quite vividly the last time a vindictive Crookshanks had pretended to want tummy rubs. 

The flames of the fire brightened, and he smiled knowing Hermione would be home in a moment. Crookshanks quickly schooled himself into a ‘good cat’ position for her, giving Ron the opportunity to rub the cat’s fur the wrong way tail to head.

“That’s what happens when you try to trick me into getting stabbed by your claws.”

Hermione flooed into the house, and a smile curled his lips. He hated when she was kept at work longer, but the one silver lining was that it always led to her hair going a bit mussed and wild. Today was not an exception. 

“Hello, love,” he murmured, eyeing the ringlets around her face. “Did you already eat? I have Hugo’s favorite ‘spagooters’ ready and can heat it up in a jiff.”

She gave a tired but contented smile and collapsed onto the sofa beside him, giving Crookshank’s chin a scratch as the cat purred and preened for her, pitifully meowing for attention.

“We should call it spaghetti. I don’t want Hugo learning the wrong words for things.”

“Hugh knows it’s spaghetti,” he said with a roll of his eyes. “Plus there’s nothing funnier than seeing that look on your face when we chant for spagooters.”

“I’m sorry I didn’t get to see them tonight... It was horrible at work. That abuse allegation mess I was telling you about last week is really coming to a head and some of those damn Wizengamots are just… I thought I couldn’t be shocked anymore by anything awful that happens, but then they really just prove they can sink to an even lower level than I’d ever thought possible! The way they sit there and act like over one hundred and fifty allegations of abuse is nothing is beyond me. They’re so bloody corrupt and uncaring I’m left truly shocked and speechless!”

Despite being speechless, she was able to rant about the Wizengamot for another fifteen minutes. While she ranted, he managed to get her shoes off, find out she had not eaten, and bring a meal. She ate around the ‘spagooters’ while nearly flinging tomato basil sauce onto his shirt as she gesticulated about the injustices in the world. 

“So is there anything in place for victims?” Ron asked, taking her plate into the kitchen.

“You mean for victim support?” He nodded at her. “Nothing official yet, but I’m seeing what we can do. The Wizengamot has many in denial of there actually being victims, let alone that they need help and counseling.”

“Maybe we can figure something outside of the Ministry. Perhaps we could do a fund or something through Wheezes? I could talk to some other businesses or something... Have the proceeds go to some foundation or other?”

“That’s a lovely idea,” she said with a small sniff. 

He leaned over the couch and kissed the top of her head. “I’ll talk to George in the morning.”

Chudley’s box gave a bit of a shudder and she finally noticed it.

“What’s that?” she asked looking over to the box.

“Er…” His hand went to the back of his neck. “That would be Chudley.”

“I gathered that much, since Chudley’s written on the outside of the box,” she said, raising her eyebrow at him and walking over to peer inside the box. “Ron…”

“So… I didn’t get a chance to ask if this is alright, but I bought us a puppy.”

She pursed her lips and said nothing as she stared into the box.

Ron felt a small touch of frenzied dread at how quiet she was.

“Normally I wouldn’t make such a big decision without you, but we were with Muggles and this old bleeder Mr White was about to buy it and I just knew he’d be treating it like shit because I’ve known him since I was a kid and he always treats his animals horribly, and the kids were crying as this old man made the puppy cry and buying it was the only way I could save it from him in the moment. I didn’t have my mobile on me, and even if I did I don’t think I could have reached you in time. It all happened really fast, and the kids were looking at me like ‘you can fix this!’ and I just had to, and Hugo had his little hands on his ears and- and if we have to find it a new home I completely understand and will make sure it’s all on me with the kids and not you at all, because this is really truly on me and—”

“Hush,” she said with a small laugh. “I think you’re upsetting Chudley.”

With that she reached into the box and gently cradled the little pup. She rubbed his little snout and scratched behind his ear making the dog’s tiny tail wag something mad.

“So you’re okay with us keeping him?” Ron asked hopefully. She nodded and continued to pet the small pup, who was crawling up her body to lick her jaw. Ron’s face split into a grin. “You won’t have to lift a finger for him. It’ll be me doing everything! Well me and maybe the kids a bit.”

“I can’t turn down a deal like that, can I Chudley?” she asked as the dog continued to lick at her. Crookshanks went to the top of the mantle to glare at them. “Be nice, Crookshanks! From the sound of it he was rescued from a dire situation!”

“He really was. I’m not just making excuses to have a dog.”

“I expect to hear the whole harrowing tale of why we needed to save Chudley later,” she replied, putting the pup in his box before casting a calming spell and accident-proofing his blanket. 

“In bed?”

“I was thinking we could expand the tub tonight and catch up there.” She had a saucy smile on her face he couldn’t resist. He quickly took her hand and they laughed all the way up the stairs.

-----------------------------------------------------------------

author’s note- let me know what you think! :) or reblog if wording is hard

[cnc-hoebayb]

How’s that taste?

Aahhh sorry i haven’t posted any good content in a minute, but i got some more coming luvs

This is like a Joel x Reader for y’all, but also dedicated to my long lost twin @la-saffron 😘

Lmk what u all think!! <3

.

“I have a surprise for you,” you stand back facing towards your apartment door, blocking the entrance with a big smile on your face.

“Alright,” he watches as you lean against the door, anticipation eating at you to open it now. “I’ve never heard anyone say there’s a surprise before it even happens so that cool,” he comments sarcastically and you grab the keys, eager to get the door open.

“Shut up just get in,” you grab his hand and yank him into the room, trying to capture his reaction as he observes the scene. Your apartment together was small, but you somehow managed to get in all the decorations and props squeezed in perfectly.

He covers his face with his hands like a little kid and laughs. He reaches out to touch small plastic palm trees and admire the precise printed cutouts of paper monkeys draped through them.

“You’re so extra, dude..” he stares at you with wide eyes, making his way through the rest of the apartment. The bathroom is beach themed, big colorful towels covered the door and floor, and the bathtub filled the slightest bit with water and some kinetic sand you found at the store.

“I ain’t cleaning that,” he says as he sees the mess. “Cállate, just keep going,” you lead him into your bedroom. You had printed some almost perfect beach and jungle views and taped them to your walls, trying to make it look like they were outside the window.

Everything else looked pretty traditional. You had gotten some things his Abuelita gave you guys, and laid them out across the room. A thick colorful blanket covered your bed, papel picado was draped from the walls, and small figurines were strategically placed on your dressers.

His smile was soft as he noticed all the familiar items. “Baby, what is all this??” He pulls you into a hug and kisses your head.

“I know how much you wanted to go to Mexico for your birthday, and then plans got messed up from life,” you started and sat on the edge of the bed, patting the sides of it next to you. “So i brought Mexico to you instead.”

He walks to you on the edge of the bed and stands you up in front of him. His hands wrap lightly around your waist, linking back with each other once they meet behind your back. He gives you a dreamy kiss on the lips and rests his forehead on yours.

“I love it,” he says and squeezes you close. “It’s the most tedious and dramatic thing I’ve ever seen in my life...but i love it.” You push him back a little and make him sit on the bed.

“Oh you thought this was it?” You say in a commercial ad voice and he giggles. “Wait, there’s more..” you zoom out of the room and go to grab the last surprise.

“Aw nooo wayy” he gasps as you bring it in. “I had to call your mom and make sure i made it right,” you say and set it on the small table beside your bed.

He’s basically drooling and doesn’t take his eyes off it. “No mames güey,” he reaches a finger in to take some frosting. “Tres leches is my shit,” he closes his eyes and groans as the frosting hits his tongue.

You stare at him unbelievingly, “damn maybe i should give you and the cake some privacy.” He ignores you, ready to just dig in with his hands with purpose. You quickly reach out to stop him and his sneaky hands.

“Can you at least open your present first, then cake??” He pouts and gives the biggest puppy dog eyes he can. “Finneee,” he whines and crosses his arms with a huff.

“Hold on, ummmm,” you search around the room for something you needed. Your eyes lock to Joel’s head and you find an alternative. “Alright, no peeking,” you say and he jumps a little as you quickly drag the bandana from his forehead and place it over his eyes.

You tighten it up and grab his face in yours, whispering sternly to him. “No matter what happens, you don’t take off this fucking blindfold,” he laughs at your reference to the movie you both just watched and plays along.

You leave him and go grab the small gift box from your closet. “Okay dont take it off yet, but here it is,” you say and get the gift situated in front of him. He must’ve taken that as an invitation to grab it, so you try not to lose it as he accidentally reaches out and takes a handful of cake instead of the box in your hand.

“Aww shoot,” he holds his arm out, trying not to get the mess anywhere. You laugh a little and try to help him. “Joel wait, no-“ your attempt to help turns into a lost cause when he blindly swings his body towards you, splashing some cake onto your hands and arms.

“Yikes,” he says from behind his blindfold and reaches up to take it off. “Don’t do that,” you grab his sticky hands and bring them out in front of you. “You’ll get it in your hair,” you continue and look around for something to clean yourselves with.

“Did you look.... there!” He laughs as he slaps his hand right into your face, knowing how much of a mess he just made on you. You lick your lips, clearing not even half of what he left on you off.

He’s smirking from his seat on the bed, bandana still over his eyes. “It’s on,” you lunge at him with a handful of more cake and smash it on his cheek. He tries to fight back but can’t see any of your incoming moves.

He uses his strength to push you off of him, then using his hands to trace your body and find your face. Once he reaches your mouth, he tries to shove loose crumbs he scraped off his own face into yours.

Your fight is useless compared to the force he has over you. So you decide to take him off guard. His hand smashes into your cheek with a fistful of frosting, and instead of backing away, you grab his hand and pull a finger into your mouth.

He stops out of shock and you swivel your tongue around, clearing the sticky mess off him in an instant. He’s quiet as you then slowly slide his finger out of your mouth, running your tongue across the length of it the whole time.

He doesn’t move an inch, and you watch his lip twitch a little when you test his limits by licking a stripe up his palm. He gulps hard and you smile as his expression hardens.

You know you should be focusing on his birthday and the rest of the gifts you got him, but-

Seeing him just sit there, blindfolded and somehow with all of his cocky yet shy boy tendencies surfacing right before you... what the hell, who wouldn’t want this kind of surprise on their birthday anyway?

You take the initiative and nudge him back a little, making room at the foot of the bed for you to comfortably sit on his lap. He’s caught off guard for sure, nervous laughing all while settling you down on him with firm hands.

His hands roam the air trying to find your face but instead end up on your neck, sticky fingers and all. Long, frosting covered fingers slide upwards, almost inviting you to put them back in your mouth as they brush across your lips.

You kiss at those strong digits and this time take in two, watching as his mouth quivers open. He takes his hand back and feels for your lips with his instead. He tastes like sugar and you want to taste more.

You travel down and kiss at his neck, licking up in spots where it needed to be cleaned. He held back a small whimper and you push him back onto the bed. His shirt was already on him barely buttoned, so it was a breeze to open it fully.

His curls bounced in front of his blindfold bandana, little strands matted together with cake. You were surprised at his ability to keep it together and not unblind himself yet. You shimmied your butt into his crotch and felt the heat rise.

And like that, there was no way you could wait any longer. “Take it off,” you say as you start to unbuckle his pants for him. He leans up on his elbows and yanks the bandana off, eyes already low and full of lust.

“I have another idea..” he jolts up in an instant and throws you down onto a pillow. He grabs the same bandana and before you know it, your eyes are being covered. You don’t fuss or put up a fight, just let it happen, and immediately your other senses feel heightened.

He tightens it from behind your head, making sure not to tangle your hair or get it stuck - god how could he be so damn cute at times like this.

When his hands finally leave you, the sound of his pants being undone further leads you to start undressing as well. He stops you before you could take more than your shirt off, softly capturing your hands in his, and silencing you with a kiss.

You feel his body leave for a second and you lay there in anticipation. When he comes back, the first thing you feel is his fingers gently painting something onto you. Starting at your neck, down past your breasts, and finally ending right below your stomach and above where your pants settled.

Without warning he brings the same fingers to your mouth, inviting them in himself. You take them in and realize they were covered with more frosting. You lick them clean and hear Joel hold back a low noise.

You blindly reach out to touch him, tangling yourself within his curls at the back of his neck. He starts to leave open mouthed kisses along the trail of sugar, using his tongue to help the process.

His tongue laps at your skin in long intervals, working his way lower as you writhe under the touch. A soft whine escapes your lips and he reaches the end of the line.

You feel his tongue stop right above your belt, his strong hands now taking their time to remove the lower half of your clothes.

The air hits your exposed legs and it’s agony to not see his face. He’s silent and you don’t know what his motive is, where he’s looking, or even how much of a mess you probably look right now.

The next thing you feel from him is his now naked body on top of yours. You clench your legs together tightly, wanting to get some friction from anything, you couldnt help that you just wanted it all now.

He settled your legs around him, his dick resting right on your thigh. He takes the tip in his hand and gently rubs it through your folds, everything already a slick mess.

And Joel was never a vocal kind of guy in the bedroom, but with your eyes trapped shut and every other sense at its best work, you could hear the small falter of his breath. The way his voice caught in his throat as he felt you out.

You bucked your hips up into the action, signaling to him you were ready. And without need for anything else, he slammed into you with a purpose. The impact pulls a squeal from you and you feel it deep in your gut.

He stops there, adjusting the both of you to find the most comfortable angle. When he lifts your left leg up a little, you hum with pleasure as he hits something different.

That sound alone is enough to tell him where to keep going. He throws that same leg over his shoulder, for sure testing your flexibility to the max. Your thighs burning as they spread farther apart.

He pumps into you at a now steady pace, knowing exactly how you like it after all the years and experience you’ve had to practice together. He was never too rough, always afraid to hurt you or go too far.

He leaned in as close as he could to your ear, whispering through airy pants, “ta’ bien, amor? You like that??” You nod shyly under his body and feel a quick surge of electricity run through you.

Every thrust into you makes your eyes squeeze tighter together from behind the blindfold, a continuous rhythm of ecstasy. He suddenly lifts your hips off the bed, driving in deeper at another level.

His strokes were short yet fulfilling, he never needed to be too rough, he always got the job done in the best way he knew you wanted. Which at this moment, was with every inch he could manage to fill you with.

After a couple minutes passing, he was able to catch on to the expressions of your face and gauge what to do more of. He let your leg off his shoulder and helped wrap them around his middle. At this point your entire bottom half was lifted off the bed as you felt him shove all he had into your core.

Your hands grasped at the sheets beneath you and you clench your jaw. A long drawn out moan from you fills the room and Joel shudders from above.

“Joel-“ you mutter between thrusts, “dont stop- ooh- just like that.” His body tenses a little and his fingers dig tighter into your skin.

“Take it off..” he groans and you’re so lost in the feeling that you almost forget the fabric over your eyes. “I wanna see you,” He edges you on and you take no time to snatch the bandana off and toss it to the side.

Your eyes adjust to the dim lighting and the sight of him after all that time is heaven. The frosting in his curls finally dried over, little splotches still plastered over parts of his face and neck.

His face is concentrated and there’s a small sheen of sweat on his forehead. The veins in his hands and forearms pop and his bottom lip is being crushed by those pretty front teeth.

You look down to see him entering you time and time again, causing you to throw your head back a little to hold yourself together. Your jaw drops open to a soundless moan, and he finally locks eyes with you.

He drops your hips down and uses his pent up strength to lift your back off the bed. Your chest is flush with his and he presses his forehead to yours, noses slightly brushing, lips only a short distance away.

You help match his work while in his lap and ride him fast, chasing after your orgasm desperately.

You rise up one last time and his hands slam you back down onto him fully once more. Your walls tighten around him, feeling that throbbing heat from him about to explode. A scream wants to break free from your throat as the wave hit you, but nothing comes out.

Joel lulls you through it by resting his lips against yours, letting your soft whimpers get caught between you both. Your eyes focus on each other as your body starts milking his own climax.

He sighs heavily against your lips as his thrusts seize, spilling every last drop deep inside of you. You watch as his eyes gloss over, the spark of lust still burning bright as ever.

He holds you to him tightly, the both of you trying to keep the feeling of each other longer. Your neck and cheeks are showered with soft, tired kisses as his dick softens inside of you.

You climb off of him slowly, reciprocating to the affection as he lays next to you on the bed. He kisses your nose and stops there to rest his cheek on you.

“Damn if that wasn’t just it, i can’t wait to see what the actual present is,” he jokes and you scrape a piece of cake off his eyebrow.

“Well lucky for you because part of your present is now a replacement,” you glance at the scrap of cloth that was once a perfect, pretty little bandana, now covered in sugary mess. “I think that one has a new purpose to it now anyway..”

[recluse-art]

momentum - 3

chapter 3

[ch 1][ch 2]

It was Saturday night, yet the only sounds that filled the dorm were the clicking of calculator keys and the faint scratching of pencil on paper. Their exams were in a few days and they were in his room because their usual study spot, the library, was closed. And unlike Hinata, Sasuke didn’t have room mates. The single suite may have been more expensive, but he found that his privacy was worth every penny.

She was lying on the rug in his room, with sheets and sheets of paper splayed out around her. Physics formulas, worked problems, and scribbled out answers were scrawled across the scattered notes.

Sasuke was somehow already done with everything, simply hanging out on his bed and playing on the Nintendo DS while his friend suffered through the rest of the practice material.

Frustrated because she had been working for two straight hours and because Sasuke always seemed to finish in light speed, she flopped over with a huff.

Glancing over to her from his game, he smirked in amusement. She was cute when she was frustrated - with her arms crossed tightly and her brow furrowed. It was one of the few times a scowl would grace her features.

“You okay?” He asked casually, pausing in the middle of his boss battle.

She put down her pencil and pushed some of her papers away so she could scoot closer to him. He was perched cross-legged on the bed, but now adjusted himself to move closer to her too.

Mimicking her position, he lay on his stomach and rested his chin in his hands.

“I will be when I finish all of these practice problems.”

He raised his eyebrows at her, implying he was done and able to help her.

“Nooo,” she groaned. “I can’t ask for any more of your help! At this rate I should be paying you for tutoring me, but I think there’s a grand total of twenty three dollars and eighty cents in my bank account.”

He snorted. “Wait, doesn’t your dad own Hyuuga Corp?”

Hinata suddenly sat up, spine straight and determination set in her lavender eyes. “He does, but I wanted to prove I can make it on my own. He was more than a little upset I chose to major in pharmacy instead of business.”

“Pharmacy is a respectable field, you’ll make good money,” he offered.

A noncommittal shrug of her shoulders. “I know... I guess he just expected me to inherit the family business because I’m the eldest.”

He hopped off the bed to sit next to her, sensing this was a touchy subject. “You’re not going to disprove anyone if you don’t finish your physics,” he chided lightly. “And I’d help you for free - now show me where you’re stuck.”

Nudging her shoulder with his, he got her to turn to her homework.

She reluctantly shifted her focus back into study mode and pointed to her last problem. “Ok, so I’m not sure how to start this.”

Dark eyes scanned the question. “You need to convert this using this formula, then you plug your answer into that formula.”

After a while, she got the hang of those problems and shooed Sasuke away to go do something more exciting than helping her with schoolwork.

The clock was approaching 1 AM and she began to nod off. By 1:30, she was fast asleep, resting her head on top of her open physics textbook with a soft thunk.

That probably wasn’t comfortable. Or good for her neck.

Very carefully, Sasuke switched out the text book for a pillow and draped his blanket over her.

There. She looked comfortable now, for someone sleeping on a rug. He would have moved her to the bed, but he didn’t want to wake her.

Lying on the carpet next to her, he observed the subtle rise and fall of her shoulders and the occasional flutter of her lashes.

Some hair had fallen onto her face, so he reached out to gently tuck the strands behind her ear. Her nose twitched when he accidentally brushed her cheek and he couldn’t help the quiet chuckle that spilled forth.

She looked so at peace... Watching her, he felt like he was wrapped in cotton. Things were calm, quiet. He could have fallen asleep there, on the hard floor next to her.

Although the strands were out of her face, he continued to run his fingers through her silky hair. It was as soft as he speculated it would be, since the day they met in the coffee shop. He noted that it was also more of a deep blue-violet color than black when it caught the light just right -

He nearly jumped at the obnoxious pounding on his door. Miraculously, the sleeping girl didn’t wake. It would’ve been painfully awkward to explain why his fingers were combing through her tresses - if he could even rationally explain his actions.

“Hey! Bastard, open up!” Naruto’s shouting could probably be heard from the other side of the damn building.

Sasuke quickly threw open the door, ready to chew his friend out for being so insanely loud.

“Shut the hell up, some people are trying to sleep,” he hissed.

“Don’t bullshit me, I saw your light on and know you don’t go to bed til 2 or 3.”

“I didn’t mean myself.”

“Oh?” The blonde perked up and tried to peer into the room like a nosy mother, but his vision was obscured by Sasuke beginning to close the door. “Do you have a girl over or something?!”

He was excited, practically bouncing on his heels. How he had such large reserves of energy, especially at this time of night, Sasuke didn’t know.

“Fuck off,” he replied, without any real malice.

“Dude, are you for real? Congrats! I was wondering when I’d have to order an escort for you to - augh!”

Clutching his arm, Naruto frowned at the Uchiha. “Fine, fine, I got the message! I’ll leave.” The hyperactive man turned around and trudged down the hallway, but not before winking at his friend. “Don’t forget to use protection!”

Sasuke sent one last scathing glare at the blonde before abruptly shutting the door.

Gears churned in Naruto’s head as he tried to figure out who Sasuke could have possibly invited to his room at this hour.

Sasuke was indifferent to most people, diligently turning down love struck admirers left and right since middle school. He even skipped class on Valentine’s day, reporting fake symptoms each year. On the rare occasion that Naruto was able to drag the stoic teen to a school social, Sasuke sulked in the corner and didn’t dare dance with anyone.

Naruto thought that maybe romance wasn’t Sasuke’s jam - and that was ok. They were best friends and he would’ve supported Sasuke no matter what.

So the question remained... Who was the mystery person that wormed their way into his heart?

[ned-nerderson]

ANY OF THE 3AM SENTENCE STATERS W JOE AND BESS 💗💗💗

A (kinda) quick one shot, the crew goes camping, Joe and Bess get some privacy for the first time and being together comes naturally to them. (Nothing really inappropriate) please enjoy (like, pls)

“I’m a being of pure power,” Joe huffed as he stumbled across a line in the dirt “I don’t need sleep.” His hands fell onto his knees as George and Frank jogged up behind him.

Frank draped his body over his camping chair next to the fire “Then I’ll sleep for you.” George walked over to Frank giving him a swift pat in the middle of his back, “Don’t tell me I just out ran an ATAC agent.”

“Not this agent!” Joe sat down on the stump next to Bess around the fire.

Frank wheezed, “It’s 3am. We are in the middle of the woods,” he inhaled and swallowed, “I’ve had a long day.”

“So what Hardy, some of us have had a rough day too,” Deirdre rolled her eyes.

George laughed, “Oh you’re just upset that no one told you Ned wasn’t staying the night up here with us.”

“Quiet,” Bess hissed, “Nancy will hear you!”

“Let her hear,” Deirdre chugged the last of her beer.

“I’m… Bed… ‘Night,” Frank staggered to his tent.Deirdre got up from the picnic table she was sitting on, “Try not to make too much noise when you come in the tent girls, 'night losers.”

Joe raised an eyebrow and glanced from Deirdre to George. Once Deirdre was in the girls tent George threw a broken graham cracker at Joe. “Hey,” Joe flinched, “that’s a good cracker!”Bess giggled. George crossed her arms in her fold out chair across the fire from them. “Nancy is already sleeping in the girls tent and Bess will be in there too.” Joe did the classic yawn and arm stretch to get his arm around Bess. “Bess has options.” He winked, making Bess flush with color. George huffed, “gross.” She broke her fire stick and tossed it into the dying flames. “I have better things to do-” “Like Deirdre?” Joe interjected. “-than watch you flirt with my cousin, goodnight guys. And Bess,” George glared at Joe, “don’t make any bad choices.”

The fire crackled softly and crunch of the forest floor under George’s shoes faded away.“Well looks like it’s just you and me left. You and the the midnight forest run champion,” Joe took a sip from his beer bottle. Bess handed him a water bottle, “you better pace yourself.” “You’re always looking out for me,” Joe took the water bottle, “thanks Peach.” He winked and took a drink of water. Bess blushed again.“So, that offer… you weren’t serious, were you Hardy?” She took a bite of her chocolate bar while intently staring at him.

Despite his best effort to stay cool he almost choked on his water. Her gorgeous blonde hair had lost some of its curl throughout the day. Joe wondered if it still smelled like her coconut shampoo. And her skin seemed to glow in the dim light of the embers. He was just staring at her for a bit too long now, he had to say something. “Well I mean, I’m sure it’s a bit crowded in the girls tent by now and you don’t want to go and wake everyone up, could you pass the marshmallows?” Joe sipped his water so he could stop talking.

“You know what I mean Joe.” Joe popped some marshmallows in his mouth. Her curves looked great in her jeans and flannel, something she didn’t wear often. “Frank and I do have separate tents now,” he raised an eyebrow, “not to pressure you or anything.” Her sudden confidence was unlike her normal self and it threw Joe off his game. Bess watched him get up to put the bag of marshmallows away. “It does sound interesting,” Bess whispered. Joe turned around excitedly, “it is late.” “It is.” She stood up. “I’ll just grab my things from the car, I’ll meet you inside?” She grinned sweetly at him. He was clearly excited she was finally coming around. “Inside?” “Inside your tent, Joe.”“Yeah.” A bit dazed he grinned back at her.He put the last embers of the fire out and grabbed his flashlight. Once in his tent he cleaned up a bit. He checked for bugs, twigs, moved his dirty clothes, and made sure everything was comfortable for Bess when she got back.

Bess unzipped the tent flap and crawled in with her bag. Joe couldn’t believe he felt a bit nervous about this. Then again he had never been this alone with Bess. “I thought you were going to change in the car.” Joe caught himself staring at her jeans.“Well… I thought you’d be helping me with that,” Bess sat down next to him. Joe was fixated on her eyes, they seemed to glow in the darkness of the tent. “You’re being really forward tonight.” Joe touched the bottom of her pant leg. Her voice fell a bit, “oh, I just thought that you, I mean I didn’t mean to, I figured you might like, I’m sorry do you not like it?” She scratched the back of her neck as she stammered, not able to meet his eyes anymore. There was the Bess he knew. “No, no I do like you. It. I like it, and you.” Joe was stammering now. “I mean you’ve never seemed to be interested.” Bess smiled and looked up at him, “well you’re always gone on a case, it’s hard enough with my best friend being gone all the time but if we were-” “Yeah I get it.” Joe sighed and rubbed her shoulder. “Why are you changing your mind though?” “Well if Ned and Nancy can do it, why can’t we? I mean it then it can’t be that hard to do, not that we should be together, but we could but that’s not that what I-” Joe kissed her. He was kissing Bess. He was kissing Bess in his tent and they were alone and she liked him. And she tasted like chocolate. “Sweet,” he thought, literally and figuratively. Bess ran her hands through his hair. She pulled away from his lips, “wait so are we together or just?” “Whatever you want,” Joe leaned into her again but she leaned away letting her hand slide to his chest to stop him.“Sorry,” Joe smiled shyly, “but really, I don’t want to force any decisions. And about Ned and Nancy…” Joe rolled his eyes thinking about his brother’s huge crush on Nancy and how he suspects that Nancy isn’t as perfect a girlfriend as Ned thinks she is, sadly. Bess cocked her head like a confused puppy, “what about Ned and Nancy?”“They… I mean Ned doesn’t know… Frank-”Bess grabbed Joe’s shirt collar playfully, “if you have gossip Hardy, you better tell me.” Joe laughed, “don’t tell anyone, okay? Frank has this huge crush on Nancy, he has since like, forever. And Nancy… well, lets say I felt pretty awkward being the third person when we were all in Hawaii.” Bess gasped, “NOOO-” her mouth was covered by Joe’s hand, she was a bit too loud. “Nummphh,” Joe slipped his hand from her mouth to her cheek and rubbed it with his thumb. “I don’t know anything for sure except Frank is in love with Nancy, no telling, okay?” Bess nodded and kissed his thumb, “ you know Joe, with all the flirting you do I thought you’d be on top of me by now.” Joe sighed and slipped one of his arms around her back swiftly laying her down and climbing over her on his hands and knees. “Is this better, Peach?” She ran her hands down his back and played with the end of his shirt. She kissed him which he took as a yes, and as the ok to make out. “Although, I still haven’t changed yet,” she managed to say between kisses, “could you maybe-” Joe sat up, “yeah sure you can go ahead I’ll try not to look.” Bess sighed, “Joe…” Joe was already turning around “I said I’d try.” Bess grabbed him by the shoulder and made him face her. “Joe, I appreciate how sweet you’re being, I really do. But right now I don’t want that.” Joe looked at her, puzzled. “Well what do you want?” Bess gave him a look and raised her eyebrow, almost mimicking the way he flirts with her. Joe gets it. He points to her flannel shirt, “are those buttons or snaps?” “They’re snaps, why?” Bess asked, confused. Joe kissed her, taking her hair into his hands, playing with it. The sent of her coconut shampoo still lingering. He tugs at her hair, their lips are drawn apart, just long enough for Joe to rip her shirt open.“Impressive,” Bess mumbles against his lips. Joe lays Bess down and again but just as he’s about to kiss her neck they hear a scream in the distance. Bess shoots up, accidentally knocking her head into Joe’s.“Shh,” he sits up too and holds her close, kissing her forehead. Bess grabs the flashlight, “should we investigate?” “I’ll go wake up Frank,” he whispers as he takes the flashlight from Bess, “you’ll be ok if I leave you here?” Bess nods, “I can go in the tent with the girls if I have to.” Another scream pierced the stillness of the night. It causes Bess to jump, they both rush outside. Once outside their tents they see Nancy and Frank are already out, both armed with flashlights at the ready, and George is crawling out of the girl’s tent.

“What was that?” George whispered.“I don’t know but I’m going to find out,” Nancy grabs her backpack from inside Frank’s tent. Bess shoots a look at Joe who shrugs as if to say “I told you so.” “I’ll go with you,” Frank walks up to Nancy.Bess widens her eyes in disbelief, she totally sees it now. “Me too.” Deirdre says hushly. Bess hugs Joe, “be careful,” she whispers in his ear. Joe smiles, it almost hurts him, he finally gets Bess, she finally lets go of her fear of opening herself up to him just for him to leave, and what’s practically a new case seems to fall into their lap.“I’ll stay here with George and Bess,” Joe whispers to the others. Bess smiles up at Joe. No bad decisions were made tonight. Although, she couldn’t speak for Frank and Nancy.

[lovemesomesurveys]

<1> Have you ever stood on a boulevard in the middle of the road and waved at random cars as they passed? Uh, no.

<2> Did they wave back? –

<3> Are you one of those annoying people that scream “No I will not have sex with you!” in the middle of the movie? Wtf. No.

<4> Do you have a headache? I had one last night that kind of comes and goes.

<5> Do you have cabin fever? No.

<6> Are you doing spring cleaning? No.

<7> Do you like the Offspring? “I’m just a sucker with no self-esteem...”

<8> Does your name have a W in it? No.

<9> Are you menstruating? No.

<10> Do you know what circumcision is? Yes.

<11> One pillow or two? I sleep with 2, but I have 5 on my bed.

<12> Last place you went in a car? Heading home from the mall yesterday.

<13> What color was the car? Brown.

<14> What are you wearing? Leggings and a gray shirt.

<15> How many bathrooms are in your house? 2.

<16> Fat Lip or In Too Deep? Fat Lip.

<17> Weirdest color you’ve painted a room in your house? All the rooms are just white.

<18> Is your hair wet? No.

<19> Who’s hotter, Josh Hartnett or Chad Michael Murray? I actually never really found either one attractive.

<20> Do you even know who Chad Michael Murray is? Clearly.

<21> What does your shower curtain look like? it’s a sliding door, not a curtain.

<22> What was the last thing you said? I asked my brother to bring in the pack of water from the garage.

<23> Are you talking to anyone on instant messenger? No.

<24> What do your slippers look like? i don’t wear slippers.

<25> Where do you keep your vacuum? In the garage.

<26> Are you wearing deodorant? Yeah.

<27> Are there any ceilings in your house that aren’t white? No.

<28> Do you like to go into chat rooms and annoy people? I haven’t been in a chat room since the early 2000′s.

<29> Who would you want to be stuck in an elevator with? I’d like to not be stuck in an elevator at all.

<30> Are you ghetto fabulous? No...

<31> Do you like stickers? Sure.

<32> Do you like Mad Libs? Sure. I haven’t played in years, though.

<33> Have you ever volunteered? Yeah, several times.

<34> Where is the nearest Kleenex box located? We don’t have one. I’d just use toilet paper.

<35> Don’t you hate school Kleenex? I remember it being very rough.

<37> Are you suicidal? No.

<38> Crawling or In The End? in the end. I like both, though. “Crawling in my skin, these wounds they will not heal...”

<39> Is your window open? Yeah. I have a window fan in it.

<40> What was the last pair of shoes you bought? I personally haven’t bought myself a pair of shoes in years. The shoes I’ve gotten over the years were from my parents.

<41> Do you have a little brother? I do.

<42> Does he draw you cute pictures? He’s 19.

<43> Do you have an older brother? Yes.

<44> Does he have hot friends? – I haven’t met his friends, actually.

<45> Where do your grandparents live? My paternal grandparents live in Arizona. My maternal grandparents have passed away.

<46> Do you have a rubber chicken? No.

<47> What do you think of when you hear the word click? That Adam Sandler movie.

<48> Are you a moron? Probably.

<49> Do you cut yourself? No.

<50> What do you do during study hall? I didn’t go to study hall.

<51> Does your school have open campus? I’m not in school anymore.

<52> What’s your favorite salad dressing? Ranch.

<53> Do you like trampolines? No.

<54> Do you like cheese? I love cheese.

<55> Which is better, tank tops, halter tops, tube tops or none of the above? Tank tops.

<56> Did you see American Pie 2? I think I’ve seen parts of it. Those aren’t my kind of my movies.

<57> Have you ever accidentally sucked something up in the vacuum? Yeah.

<58> Do you talk to Smarterchild? What?

<59> How old will you be in 30 years? Almost 60.

<60> Who will you be in the 30 years? I can’t think that far ahead.

<61> How will you dress in 30 years? How the hell am I supposed to know?

<62> Are you deaf? No.

<63> Are you blind? No.

<64> What do you think of depressed people? I’m one of ‘em.

<65> What are you eating? Nothing anymore. I just finished a Cup of Noodles.

<66> Last movie you rented? Infinity War.

<67> Last movie you saw in the theater? The latest Mission Impossible.

<68> Would you consider yourself sexy? Nooo.

<69> What is your pet’s name? Princess Leia. Either one for short.

<70> Have you ever made up a song to remember something for a test? Nah.

<71> Have you ever been to Canada? No, but I’d like to.

<72> Doesn’t it suck? No.

<73> Have you ever been to California? Born and raised.

<74> Have you ever been to Nebraska? No.

<75> Do you have braces? No.

<76> What color are they? –

<77> Who was the last person you talked to on IM? Probably Arynthya.

<78> Last thing you ate? Cup of Noodles.

<79> Is your hair straight, wavy, or curly? Wavy.

<80> What time is it? 1:12AM.

<81> What did you do today? So far I’ve only watched a YouTube video, checked out Facebook, ate, and now this.

<82> Cowdance.com or Hamsterdance.com? Never been to either one and I don’t care to.

<83> Are you a vegetarian? No.

<84> What’s your locker number? I don’t have a locker.

<85> What’s the combination? –

<86> Wanna make out? No.

<87> You guys want some cookies? Sure

<88> Are you comfy? I’m in some pain.

<89> Right now, who is all in your house? My parents, brother, doggo, and myself.

<90> Are you paranoid? Sometimes. I am now about something.

<91> Are you only filling this out to avoid doing your homework? I’m done with school.

<92> Do you like the name Jimmy? Not particularly.

<93> What do you think of when you hear the name Mark? Wahlberg.

<94> Kristin? Stewart.

<95> Zoe? Kravitz.

<96> Jamie? Lee Curtis.

<97> Adam? Sandler.

<98> Carmen? My aunt’s friend.

<99> Do you like Michelle Branch? I like a couple of her songs.

<100> Where would you like to be now? Right here in bed.

<101> Weirdest thing that happened to you recently? I don’t want to get into that.

<102> Craziest thing you did recently? Nothing.

<103> Do you have to pee? No, thanks for your concern.

<104> Do you like fluffy yogurts? Fluffy yogurt?

<105> Don’t you hate that when you have to watch the baby being born in health class? That was pretty traumatizing.

<106> Do you like the Sims? Yes.

<107> Do you like away messages? Is that still a thing? No. Not since AIM was a thing.

<108> Isn’t that weird how hair gets lighter in the sun but skin gets darker? Haven’t thought about it.

<109> Do you burn or tan? Burn then tan.

<110> Scotch tape or masking tape? Scotch.

<111> Frozen yogurt or ice cream? Froyo.

<112> Do you like pineapple on your pizza? Nooo.

<113> How about anchovies? Ew, no.

<114> Do you have people on your buddy list that you never talk to? I don’t use any instant messengers. Are there still any? I mean, besides Facebook Messenger and the chat thingy on here.

<115> Do you close the lid after you pee? No.

<116> Do you go to church? No. :/

<117> Pen or pencil? Pen.

<118> Do you have any of those mechanical pencils that cost like $6? I just would get a pack of mechanical pencils.

<119> Aren’t they a waste of your money? I’d rather get a pack or two than one pencil for $6.

<120> Are your parents divorced? No.

<121> Do they hate each other? No.

<121> Do you talk to losers? I’m a loser, baby.

<122> If you like rainbows, does that mean you’re gay? How old are you?

<123> Do you make a wish at 11:11? No.

<124> Do you celebrate St. Nick’s Day? Christmas? Yes.

<125> What song is in your head? None at the moment.

<126> Do you want to be like Jared? The Subway guy? Uh, definitely not.

<127> Have you ever shaved? Yeahhh.

<128> Do you like Oreos with peanut butter? Sure.

<129> Is your hair its natural color? No.

<130> What color are your nails? They’re not painted.

<131> Do you have a backpack? Somewhere in my closet, yeah.

<132> What color is it? I have a few.

<133> Does it have keychains and buttons and stuff on it? No.

<134> Do you fake sick a lot? I don’t have to, I really do feel like crap often enough.

<135> What time is it now? 1:20AM.

<136> Do your relatives get along? Yeah.

<137> Who is cooler, your mom’s relatives or dad’s relatives? They’re all cool.

<138> Have your eyes been the same color your whole life? Yes.

<139> What’s the earliest memory you have? Some from preschool.

<140> Is it true that the early bird gets the worm? And the squeaky wheel gets the grease.

<141> Have you ever played Monopoly? Yeah, plenty of times.

<142> Did you see the movie Get Over It? I think so.

<143> Do you like Jimmy Eat World? Yeah.

<144> What about Ludacris? I haven’t heard anything from him in years.

<145> Monsters Inc or Shrek? Monster’s Inc.

<146> Do you like to abuse people’s guestbooks on their web site? No...

<147> Aren’t babies overrated? Sigh.

<148> Do you have any kids? No.

<149> Do you wish you did (if you don’t)? – Absolutely not.

<150> How long did this take you? 12 minutes.