#Mostly because my power button has been out of commission for a while now and if I have to switch it on I have to

[deepspaceclawstation]

I think it may finally be time to retire my faithful comrade of 7 years and buy a new phone

[the-baddest-of-batches]

Dar'Aliit: Chapter 6 - Something Personal (pt 2)

Mer’en paces the room. Bevik, utterly defeated, sits in the corner sulking. We’re all crammed into the controls room where a constant loop of the separatists conversations have been pouring in. It’s mostly reports on the ship. We’ve only got five hours left till rendezvous.

“Good news,” Mer’en turns and paces back past Aftermath. I think about moving my legs off the console, but I’m too tired, especially after nine games of Dejark. Neither me nor Bevik are great losers. But I’m still the ultimate winner.

“We got a ride?” Shave asks.

“We have a ride,” Mer’en confirms. “Bad news. Getting a ride means they’re going to push the rendezvous out another day because they had to commission a ship that could handle the atmosphere. So we’re stuck here another day. Better pack in and get comfortable.”

“Is there anything to eat down here?” Aftermath asks.

“Rations,” I tell him.

“You know, sir, I think the rookie is picking up on my snark and I don’t appreciate it,” Aftermath adds.

I smile at him and get a scowl in response.

“I don’t care about your snark,” Mer’en says. “Now all of you, I want a watch at all hours. Who’s going first?”

Bevik raises his hand.

“No,” Mer’en says. “Kian, Bevik, you both need sleep. You took pretty decent hits today, you can take later watches.”

“I’ll go,” Shave offers.

Mer’en shakes his head and locks his eyes on Aftermath who groans.

“I guess I’m volunteering?”

“Thank you for your service,” Mer’en chuckles. “Shave you can have second. Bevik, third. I’ll take fourth. The usual two hours shifts, understood?”

“Sir?” I lift my hand. “I can take a watch.

“You’re fine, rookie. Get some sleep.”

“If this is about my face, sir,” I sit up.

“It’s not,” Shave butts in. “Kian,” he looks over at me. “We all know you haven’t slept well since you got here. This is your chance, get some rest. Bunks in the crew quarters are clean. Maybe a little stale, but clean.”

I avert my gaze. So, they have noticed the fact I’m up half the night. I can’t help that all I can dream about are faces that look exactly like mine showing up on corpses. I swallow and pull my feet off the control panel. “Yes,” I look at Mer’en. “Sir.”

“Good, now go on. Aftermath, don’t touch a button in here, got it?”

“You put me on first watch,” Aftermath lifts his hands and they’re all I can see from behind the chair he’s sitting in. “Whatever happens, happens,” he says.

“The nothing had better happen,” Mer’en threatens.

Bevik snickers and gets up. I pull myself out of the chair and wander toward the door where Shave is standing. Mer’en follows as does Bevik and we slip out into the hall. Shave takes Bevik ahead of us and Mer’en falls back so he’s in step with me.

“You noticed, sir?” I ask as we walk toward the crews quarters.

“Kian you leave the room at 3am standard time. The light wakes me up.”

“Oh,” I feel my stomach grip in regret.

Mer’en just laughs though. “Don’t worry, we’ve all done it. You go down to the training rooms, don’t you?”

“Yeah.”

“If you need to spar someone you can wake me up next time.”

I glance at him. “You’ve done this longer than me, how do you put up with it?”

Mer’en shrugs. “Everyone has a way. I focus on making sure you all come back alive, but I can’t really blame myself if we don’t can I? If I do everything in my power, I’ve done my job.”

“Aftermath told me to take it out on stuff.”

“That works too. Just don’t let it…overwhelm you. Otherwise, you’ll lose yourself.”

I look down at my boots and stop. We painted my armor before leaving and there’s orange-yellow stripes across my thigh plates along with a mismatch of patterns Aftermath decided on while we were watching old Mon Calimari opera holos. The stripe down my left arm, the band on my right—except the pauldron, which is Nyo’s. There’s stripes down my chest. I think all of it had some meaning.

I don’t remember what half of it was, but I look like I’m a part of this team. These guys are my brothers. Ner’vod.

How am I not supposed to be overwhelmed with grief if I lose them? I clutch my helmet against my hip. “Does it ever get easier, sir?”

Mer’en blinks. His eyes are glassy, and he looks down the hall. “No. But I guess I’ve learned to become indifferent.”

I nod.

Mer’en rests his hand on my shoulder, right on Nyo’s shoulder pauldron. None of them asked me why it’s different. Aftermath is the only one who really knows. He wouldn’t even paint it.

Said that was up to me entirely.

I can feel Mer’en’s hand on my shoulder, heavy like the burden of all the other hands that have been there, reassuring me, placing their faith in me, every person that I’ve ever known. Every name on the underside of that shoulder pauldron.

They’re all my brothers and they always will be. Maybe Mer’en can become indifferent to the loss, to the death, and the grief, but I don’t think I can. I won’t forget them. My jaw clenches.

Mer’en draws back. “Get some sleep, Kian. Don’t think too much about the past.”

I nod, but my voice is only a whisper. “Yes, sir.”

#

Despite the extra hours, the Republic broke through the atmosphere with a ship that stayed in one piece this time. Shave took the duty of carrying Kit’s body. The rest of us fell in silently and we marched to the drop zone. A team of clones in battered armor escorted enviro-suited operators to take the station over.

As we pass by, I nod silently to the older troopers. Their battle-scarred armor shows not only experience, but survival. They nod to us. There’s a silent reverence. We respect each other. And we respect our collective fates.

“Everyone onboard!” Mer’en calls from the lowered ramp. We shuffle onboard. The pilots remain. We pass through airlocks to clear the acidic air off our suits before we’re allowed into the free open air of the ship.

Bevik whips off his helmet first and gulps down the fresh air. “I could kiss this floor right now!”

“I wouldn’t if I were you,” Shave says. He veers off with a nod to Mer’en.

I hang back by Bevik. His relief washes over me too. We’re here. We’re alive, and for the first time, I’m not the only one going home.

I blink. What’s the next step? Another mission? On Kamino we filled out time with pointless banter, training, and sleep. There was the occasional recreation.

“Hey,” I walk up to Bevik. “Don’t you still owe me a drink?”

“Think ten-year-olds can drink?” Bevik flashes a smile.

I grin back. “If they’ll let you in, they’ll let anyone in.”

“Hey!” He slams his helmet against my shoulder. I laugh just moments before Aftermath breaks us up.

“Enough!”

“Feeling left out?” Bevik clobbers Aftermath over the head. The two are at each other’s throats and we’re all laughing as Aftermath spouts insults in Mando’a and Bevik takes it all with a smirk.

“Ahem,” Mer’en clears his throat. He leans, helmet off, against the wall. “I believe we’re going to be taking off soon if any of you would care to get settled. We have a cruiser to get back to.”

We’re all three at a loose attention in seconds. I raise my hand in salute. Neither of the other’s do and I see the quirk of a smile on Mer’en’s face at my formality. I lower my hand.

“Sir, think we’re going to make it back in time for the Bolo Ball matches? I gotta get some dye.” Bevik points at his shaved head.

“If you get your shebs in gear, maybe. Go!” Mer’en shoos us.

We scatter like womp rats up to the front of the ship. A crackle over the comms informs us of departure and I feel the ship shudder under my feet as we all scramble for seats in the common room.

I grab the straps and buckle in. I’m not taking chances in the atmosphere this time. My arm still moves stiff at the shoulder even though Shave says it’s mostly just skin laceration that will need time to heal. The bandages peek out from under my bodysuit.

With deep breaths the ship rocks and I feel a ghostly hand on my shoulder.

Afraid of flying?

I inhale deeply and focus my vision on Bevik and Aftermath who are across from me in two of the crew chairs.

“You watch Bolo Ball?” I ask weakly. Morgan and Hook sometimes went wild for that stuff. I saw Nyo try to dye his hair once. Didn’t work.

Bevik nods. “Sure do. Matches are on tonight. I heard the 501st Captain is a pretty big fan too.”

“Are you all going to…get together?”

“You wanna come?” Aftermath asks.

Do I? The ship shudders. “Sure,” I breathe. My breaths come deeper over time. I remember the exercises from Kamino. I focus on the little blip inside my—no Kit’s—HUD and see that we’re rising rapidly. The shaking isn’t nearly as bad this time. The lights don’t even flicker.

We break the surface. I feel it as all resistance is shed from the hull and with something of a last final groan, we’re free. I grip the webbing of my seat.

“Prepare for docking with cruiser,” the intercom drones.

The final thud. The airlocks mate and I’m not focused on my breathing anymore. It’s more like the lull carries a gravity I wasn’t prepared for. The whole ship is silent, but not with death. The universe is acknowledging it.

We’ve done it.

Bevik and Aftermath stand. I follow suit and we file back onto the cruiser. And we’re met by an officer with a skittish look in his wide Rodian eyes.

“Sir’s! A ship is waiting for you in hanger bay delta where you will be debriefed by the General, please proceed immediately there.”

“What?” Bevik’s face drops with my stomach. “Another mission?” he groans.

I look at Mer’en who steps forward. “Delta bay?”

“Yessir. Immediately.”

Mer’en shooed the nervous officer out of the way. “You heard him,” he says, and I can see him sigh. “Report to delta bay, immediately.”

Just like that, the weight hits my shoulders, and my stomach. We might’ve won, but we’re still at war.

We report to Delta bay. All through the cruiser officers hurry from place to place. Clones run from place to place, different platoons manning different stations. No one is sitting around, and no one is waiting.

When we reach Delta bay I can see why. Half the squadrons are assembled. A brown haired and bearded Jedi strides before them. We fall in beside Ronto squad, one of whom glances at us and just nods. The Jedi keeps pacing, hands locked behind his back, his tall figure powerful and stiff. I can’t discern whether his heavy brow is angry or merely thoughtful.

“Men,” he looks at us. “I have received word that General Nidor has become mired on Indol where we will arrive in two standard hours. The separatists have pinned down him and his forces in the city of Manuk. We must aid General Nidor and his men. I will deploy you all to the outskirts of the city near the Gin’das ridge. From there you will flank the enemy forces and take back the main road.”

I felt my chest constrict. A full-frontal assault.

“Half of you will land behind the city and make your way through the forest inside. The droids have not breached these forests as they cannot move their tanks there. We will fortify the main gates from there and aid General Nidor to make a two pronged attack. We will surround the droids. Am I understood?”

Weakly I join in. “Sir, yes sir.”

“You have your posts, move out!” With a sharp point, he directs us to the ships. Kenobi, I think someone once said the name of the General was. I see a worried glint in his eye as we break.

Unlike Krell, Kenobi reminds me of a father. I wonder if it’s real, or a façade he wears. I put the thought from my mind and about face, following the others as we head off to the armory. Two hours. Just enough time to suit up and get ready to deploy.

“So much for Bolo Ball,” Bevik mutters into his helmet.

“Next time!” Aftermath says.

I mute myself and let their idle chatter run through the background as we all file into the armory. All over again I feel myself wishing I could slam the butt of a blaster into the face of something else. We just got back.

“And now we’re going to get tossed out like canon fodder again!” I jerk a rifle off the wall and inspect it, careful not to let anyone see my heaving chest. My fingers tighten around it.

“Take it out on something,” I mutter. I’m holding a DC-15x, a snipers weapon. I inspect it and finally hand it off to a trooper I can see eyeing it. I don’t need long range, so I grab a fresh DC-15A, sturdy and reliable. The model is standard. It’s not fancy, and it doesn’t need to be. It’s the perfect make the slag a droid or smash its head in; Something up close; something personal.

[starr-fall-knight-rise]

Humans are Space Orcs, “Black Tie.”

I hope you guys like this. Writing has been weirdly difficult for me these past few days, so I sort of hope it isn’t showing lol

This is a little peak into the way that humans try to subtly one up each other in social situations, so Karma is fun :) 

Krill was mildly uncomfortable, and so was Sunny. They had all been invited to what the humans described as a “black tie” event on mars mostly for political delegations, rich sponsors, a couple of famous people, and the occasional member of the UNSC or the GA. Most of the GA reps were Rundi since they tended to like this political sort of thing. There was at least one Tesraki, who had made the executive decision to come since he saw financial opportunity in getting to know some rich humans.

Sunny had been invited to stand in for the Drev counselor, who could not attend due to some issues back on Anum. Dr Krill and Dr. Katie had been invited to attend the event in case medical personnel were required for any reason.

Adam was the only one who had been invited for himself.

The black tie event had been sent by way of a physical letter which Adam had called, “Excessively pretentious.” in a day and age where everything was sent electronically. The fact they had managed to get a letter to him out in the middle of space in the first place was pretty impressive.

Sunny hadn’t really known or cared what all of this meant, but Adam had been nervous and very serious about the dress code. Despite thinking the entire thing was pretentious, that didn't stop him from immediately sending away for his mother’s help.

Sunny was, of course, encouraged to wear ceremonial formal armor to the event.

Krill was keeping very close track of this odd human behavior constantly asking questions as Adam was preparing himself.

“Why don’t you just wear a regular suit?”

“Because that would be a social faux pas.”

“A what?”

He sighed, “I don't know, it's french or something. I think it’s a ballet term. IT just means it would be a social screw up and people would totally judge me for it.”

“They would judge you for wearing the wrong thing?” Krill wondered curiously.

Adam nodded, “That is the point of these parties, and has been for the last two and a half thousand years. These parties are honestly just the biggest pissing contests where people try to out dress each other in subtle ways, and the old people who know what they are doing make fun of the new people for having no idea how to do it properly.” 

Krill looked interested, “how fascinating. So it is a way to show your status subtly.”

“Oh yes. Status is a big deal. It started to go out of style for a while, but this whole adherence to dress code has come back with a vengeance in the last few years. The fashion world has seen an upheaval in pretentiousness, and celebrities have been laughed out of parties for trying to be avant-garde.”

“To be what?”

“Sorry, pretty sure that’s also french too. It means new, interesting, or out of the ordinary usually to make a statement.”

Sunny leaned in a little, “And they expect an air force commander to know how to properly dress for black tie?”

“They don’t, which is why they invited me. I am supposed to make others look good by looking bad. Of course I also make them look good by being invited in the first place. Of course joke's on them because i have a secret weapon on my side…” He patted the front of his shirt, “Thank you mother.” 

“I am now confused.”

Adam waved a hand, “Yeah, I know, It’s pretty stupid 

“I thought you recently decided that you like dressing up.” The human turned in place a couple of times in front of the mirror trying to get a better view of himself, “Correction, I have always enjoyed dressing up -- got that from my mom -- what I don’t enjoy is the pissing contest that comes along with it.

“What is that?”

“Bow tie.”

“You look like someone’s Christmas present.”

He adjusted the bow tie, “Well than someone is getting a sexy as fuck Christmas present now aren’t they.”

He buttoned up the front of the ‘waistcoat’ and pulled on the jacket.

When he was done, the two aliens had to admit that he really did stand out, all in black black pants black tuxedo jacket, cuff links, black tie, black waistcoat, and a purple/blue carnation threaded through the buttonhole on the lapel.

His shoes were almost as reflective as the mirror behind him.

“How do I look?”

“Like a goofy idiot, but the suit wasn’t going to change that.” He lifted a finger to flip Sunny off.

“Not very dapper of you.” Katie said from the doorway.

They looked up to see Katie, who had also commissioned a dress from Martha, and honestly made Adam look a little plain.

“Ready to go.”

“As I will ever be.”

***

Krill kept a shrewd eye on all the strange human protocols. As far as dressing up went Krill could immediately see who the in-crowd included. Ost of those people understood the rules Adam had laid out for him wearing the proper evening attire, where those not in the-in wore clothing that approximated the rules but missed them on several occasions. 

The way the evening was set up was a little bit more like a ‘ball’ as Adam described being announced as they were walked in, and then ordered to mingle with the crowd. Adam and Katie got a few glances from the in-group who seemed surprised that a simple ship captain would known anything about formal evening attire.

Sunny just found the entire thing hilarious. All of this subtle dressing up to impress each other.

If Drev held balls, instead of dancing they would probably just beat each other to death.

But here, there were a lot of subtle clues and hints that went right over her and the Doctor’s heads, while Adam seemed to know what he was doing.

As they walked in waiters offered Adam an alcoholic drink, while Krill received water, and sunny a rather strange tincture that was generally just water with plant flavoring. It was pretty good though so she didn’t complain.

They were met on arriving by the event coordinator whose eyes opened wide when she saw Adam pausing and holding out a hand.

Due to the conflated and rather twisted nature of black tie events in the future, Adam took the hand, and bowed a bit lowering his head, a strange area between the less formal handshake and the more formal kiss on the hand, which was also not a thing in societies post WWIII

“Commander, I… you look…” She trailed off 

Even to sunny it was clear the woman hadn’t expected him to know anything.

He smiled icily at her.

Krill leaned in in fascination.

This was one of the most intriguing parts of humanity. The polite way in which they were totally rude to each other, “Well than you. My mother has a Ph.D  in the information age and a masters in historical fashion.”

That shut the woman up and she politely dismissed herself walking away straight back.

Adam smirked, “Her dress isn’t the right length for an evening event.”

“I thought she coordinated the event.” Sunny muttered

“She couldn’t coordinate herself out of a paper bag.” He winked at Sunny and Krill, “You can’t out-dress the son of a historical fashion expert. Simply not possible, she even used the correct materials.” He tugged lightly at his jacket.

Dr. Katie had disappeared on entry leaving the three of them to wander about the room as Adam pointed out the other important people.

There were a few military commanders, rundi, and the aforementioned Tesraki. There were at least five major political leaders, and even larger handful of actors who had their hands in charities or political causes related to the event.

Adam was only halfway through his first drink when he was waylaid by one of the younger actors. Even Sunny could tell straight off that he was not dressed appropriately.  He had clearly tried very hard, but his efforts were in vain. While everything looked alright from a distance, up close something was wrong about everything. The material of his jacket, the style of his shirt, the type of pants, the lapels on the coat, and even the patterned pocket square which should have been a solid color but wasn’t.

He was joined by another group of men who then began some pretentious conversation about noticing how Adam was new to these sort of events. The way they spoke made it pretty clear they had no idea who he was or what the proper dress code was either.

Adam smiled and didn’t say anything.

“And what do you do for a living?” One of them asked

“Simply a UNSC representative.”

“Ah that explains a lot.” They glanced down at him with pointed looks 

The conversation continued. Sunn wondered why Adam didn’t just shut them all up by telling them exactly who he was, but Krill had a theory that Adam was just playing with them as a human way to build up the moment so that he could socially crush them.

As humans do, their conversation wandered until it eventually moved around to the UNSC and other related topics. 

One of the men nodded knowingly, “I am somewhat knowledgeable on the subject myself.” Adam raised an eyebrow.

“Are you?”

“Well yes, I have a brother in law who flies shuttles and planes for the UNSC. Tell me, what is your opinion on the D-4 class engine on a F-90 darkfire. I honestly think they are rather overpowered for what is being asked of them.”

Adam frowned, “The darkfire doesn't have a D-4 engine. That is a warp classification which-”

The man raised a hand, “No no. I heard my brother in law talking about it. Personally I think they should have just kept the jet engines they would have been plenty enough power to make it into orbit.

The Commander’s face scrunched in confusion as he shook his head, “No, it's a fusion engine, and the jet engine can’t fly in the upper atmosphere because there is no lift-”

“Look, Adam, was that your name. I generally tend to know what I am talking about. The darkfire jet engines would have plenty of power to make it into atmosphere,”

“But its a jet engine which implies it is for a plane and not for a rocket-” 

The guy cut him off again and continued to ramble onward about how he took some engineering classes in college and would know what he was talking about. Since Adam Joined the UNSC and didn’t go to college, that he probably didn’t know anything at all, or at least that is what they said in not so many words.

Sunny was getting a bit annoyed and would like to have squished the guy, but Adam just shook his head at her.

She stayed silent and grumpy as the other men continued to correct Adam on knowledge of his own favorite aircraft.

“My brother owns a spaceship with a class E warp core one of them boasted.” 

Adam rolled his eyes, “There is no such thing-”

“My brother owns the craft, I am pretty sure I know what I am talking about. It’s one of the most powerful cores in the galaxy.”

“Um, I don’t think.”

“Yes the E is more powerful than the A. A ship like the Harbinger or the Enterprise would only make it part of the way across the galaxy but the-” He kept going. 

Adam looked like he was dying but why didn’t he say anything.

It was just then that someone appeared from the crowd. Sunny recognized a political figure they had met at GA summits on occasion.

He raised his glass and stepped into the group, “Ah commander! I am glad to see you could make it.”

The group of men glanced at each other in confusion.

Adam nodded, “It’s good to see you two counselor.” He motioned to the group we were just having a fascinating discussion on warp engines.”

“Oh yes.” He turned to look at the men, “Than I am sure the commander has told you about his escapades as a darkfire pilot.”

The satisfaction Sunny got from watching their faces was priceless, almost orgasmic. She could tell from the look on Adam’s face that he was feeling similarly, “Well no we had not made it to the subject, “I was just going to explain to them how the duel E 20 engine has both a jet engine and a fusion engine. The jet engine for flying in atmosphere and the Fusion engine for moving out of atmosphere considering that the jet engine is not powerful enough to lift the craft without air buoyancy.”

Sunny was laughing on the inside.

“Ah yes. I seem to recall a discussion along those lines. Tell me commander, what about the Harbinger’s engine is it a class A-1.”

Adam nodded, “Could potentially get you to the other side of the universe if you asked her. The classification system is A-D 1-4 on each, so my ship has one of the most powerful engines mankind has ever bothered to build.”

He glanced out of the corner of his eye and the other men who were beginning to slink away.

Sunny chirped in pleasure.

The rep nodded as they left, “I heard the futility of your conversation from the other side of the room.”

“Thanks for the help. I was dying inside.”

The two men laughed and took their drinks.

Krill was very pleased with his examination on how humans subtly tried to one up each other with their dress and understanding of certain topics, though it seemed odd to him that someone would claim to be an expert when it was, in fact, their brother or brother in law who knew about the subject and not them.

But he supposed that was the social nature of humanity. 

[kn1feinthec0ffee]

only angel - roman godfrey

roman godfrey x reader

title from the harry styles song of the same name

disclaimer: i’m not trying to distract from what’s going on by posting my work. that would never be my intent. times are trying, and i’m simply trying to provide some sort of entertainment or something to do with your time. i’m not fishing for any praise of any kind, i’m just putting my work out like i usually do. i love you all and please stay safe.

notes: in other news, if you haven’t noticed, i have a posting schedule now. it used to be every friday somewhere around midday, but that wasn’t really doing much with the algorithm, so i changed it to midday thursday. and i’ll be taking a week off next week bc i’m getting my wisdom teeth removed then. (which i’m incredibly anxious about) so if i go awol for a little while, that’s why. 

also, i have almost no knowledge of alcohol! and i don’t drink! so if i don’t have some commonly known drink or bartender knowledge, please forgive me.

***********

“i’ll take an old fashioned, please.” a woman asked politely, flashing her pearly whites.

“one apple martini with no olive,” a man requested.

“can i get a scotch on the rocks?” a man with a gruff voice asked. 

you were new to this job, but you had a bit of experience, both on the bartender end and the bar attender end. you quite liked this job; the customers were fairly friendly, and you were in a much less seedy part of town than the last dive bar you worked at. you didn’t mind it, though, it gave you your thick skin, something you need in a profession like this. 

you also liked this job better because you weren’t alone. this joint in particular had more bar space than seating space, so they commissioned two bartenders to work instead of just the one. the first few days you were a little rusty, not having worked in a while, but the two of you quickly got into the swing of things. 

his name was roman godfrey, heir to the godfrey fortune, who had a much different story on how he became a bartender. coming from such a wealthy family, he of course inherited the highest position at godfrey tower, which he quickly realized was way too much work for him to handle. roman had transformed from a spoiled rich brat to someone who had more respect for people who actually had to work to keep themselves afloat, and you’d say it changed him for the better. 

somewhere along the line he’d developed a respect for women, too, probably coming from some prior bartending experience. you admired him for that, mostly because you’d hate to work with the man he used to be. 

another reason you enjoyed working with him so much was the fact that his name was so well known across the entire state of pennsylvania that nobody really liked to fuck with him. they’d much rather stay on his peaceful side, because some, more than others, had seen his aggravated side before and were not too terribly inclined to see it again. this came in handy for you when a situation similar to tonight’s had arose.

it was a stormy night, much like many spring evenings. the bar was packed tighter than usual since it was raining much too hard for anyone to leave. it was nearing last call, and you and roman were trying to close up, much to the dismay of the customers. as you were starting to stack some glasses, a greasy older man sauntered up to the bar, plopping right down on the barstool you’d just cleaned.

“i’ll take a gin and tonic, and make it snappy, i’ve gotta get home,” the man demanded, tone devoid of any politeness. “and it’d do you some good to button that up a few more times.” he gestured to your uniform that had the first couple buttons undone to show some cleavage.

“excuse me?” you stammered, flabbergasted at his frankness. you paused what you were doing, frozen in shock.

“you heard me. now make me that drink, bitch, or i’ll climb over this fucking bar and make it myself.” the man insisted.

“you have no right to say that to me.” you defended. “this is my uniform, and if it makes me more comfortable to unbutton it, then i will. i don’t need input from people like you, and you certainly don’t deserve a drink for acting like that. we’re closing anyway, it’s too late.”

you’d handled customers like this before, but they tended to be much less blatant about their sexism and disrespect than this man was. you had started drying the glasses and putting them away at a much faster pace just to get this insistent man off your ass.

“come on, no ones over here, what’s it gotta take for a guy to get a drink?” the man’s inebriation became much more obvious now as he grabbed your forearm as you reached for another glass.

“let go of me!” you shrieked, much louder than you intended. this caught the attention of quite a few other customers and, of course, roman, who quickly made his way over to you.

“exactly what the fuck do you think you’re doing here, huh?” he growled, setting his piercing gaze on the man, who quickly unhanded you.

“i asked her very kindly if she would please make me a drink, and she said no.” he swallowed nervously, the mere presence and power seeping off of roman intimidating him.

“it didn’t sound very kind to me, man. i didn’t hear any fucking ‘please and thank you’s over here.” roman replied, trying to keep his calm with the man that he wanted to hypnotize into slamming his head on the bar.

the man stayed silent, his cocky asshole persona fading into fear at the hands of mr godfrey. roman nodded at his compliance and subtly placed a hand on top of yours on the glass you were holding.

“alright sir, if you would please kindly,” he put a strong emphasis on the word. “stop bothering my friend, get the fuck out of our bar, and head the fuck home, it would be much appreciated.”

as if entranced, the man pulled his jacket back up on his shoulders, shoving his hands in his pockets and walking straight into the rainstorm.

roman looked down at you and smiled his signature grin. usually that’d have your heart melting like a popsicle on a hot summer day, but you weren’t in the mood for it. the scowl on your face told him everything he needed to know.

“why the face? what did i do?” he asked genuinely. he had learned not to skip straight to defending his actions, finding that asking what his mistake was and how to fix it was a method much more popular with the ladies.

“you should’ve let me handle that myself.” you frowned, unhappy with the situation at hand.

“what? why would i do that?” he asked incredulously. “i’m not just gonna stand by and watch that cretin of a man treat you like that!”

“i know, and i thank you for that. your heart was in the right place, but you shouldn’t have stepped in.” you began. “for the longest time, almost every profession has been male-dominated, so us women get the short end of the stick when it comes to how we’re treated in the workplace.

“men have some sort of hero complex, thinking they can insert themselves into a situation they had nothing to do with and earn praise and thanks for their help that wasn’t asked for. men think that they can start confrontations with us and expect us to be silent and complient, to just sit there and take it because we’re not going to stand up for ourselves.” you watched the expression on his face morph to one of interest. “it was my situation, my job to deal with it, and my job to handle the repercussions, should there be any.

“men are accustomed to getting whatever they want, whenever they want it, and that’s got to change, and it starts with small things. small things like me, reprimanding that man for his actions and the way he spoke to me.” you took a breath. “i’m glad you recognized something was happening, but you should’ve only stepped in had things gotten more violent.”

roman looked stunned, almost like he’d gotten a slap across the face. you shouldn’t be surprised, this was usually the reaction you got from men when you tried to educate them on the trials and tribulations of women, but something was different. rather than shocked and confused as to why you would think that, he seemed more understanding of your struggles. sympathetic, even.

he stood still for a moment, as if he was a sponge absorbing all the information you’d dumped on him. “wow, i had no idea there was so much behind that. thank you for letting me know.”

“can i..?” his question trailed off as he leaned down towards you, lips meeting yours. you melted into his embrace, the weeks of yearning for this exact moment finally catching up to you. he started to pull away, but you stood on your tiptoes and chased his lips. you both pulled away breathlessly, lips wet and pink.

“wow, that was,” the rest of your thoughts fell short, but as you looked at roman it was apparent he had the same idea, whatever that may be.

“can i walk you home?” he asked, gathering his things. you nodded up to him, smiling sheepishly as he gently placed your jacket on your shoulders.

the two of you managed to close the bar for the night and fortunately, the rain had died down enough for you to head home. roman held his umbrella above both of you as you curled into his side to escape the cold chill of the rain.

he dropped you off at your place, turning to leave before you spun him around. you hopped up the first two steps and leaned down to kiss him again, easier this time since you were at his level. he smiled against you and kissed back fervently, placing a hand on the area between your neck and shoulder for some leverage.

you said your goodbyes, heading into your house, still feeling the tingling sensation where his hand was as you smiled giddily.

**********

ignore the ending i cant write endings it’s a problem

the feminist jumped out a bit sorry not sorry

i wrote almost all of this last night bc inspiration suddenly struck and i had to take advantage of it and this turned out waayyy longer than intended oopsie

tags: @emmyrosee @jadelynlace @copper-boom @babyboy-cody @goblincxnt @hecohansen31 @skrsgardspam @bill-skarsgard-owns-my-ass @little-grunge-flowerz @manicpixiedreamguurl

[wayward-wren]

Alright I’m losing my mind how do u feel about infodumping this new thing you’re watching bc ily and want to know what you’re talking about XD

Oh boy oh boy anon, have you opened the flood gates. *cracks knuckles* I’m always down to info dump. (gets kind long so i’m putting a cut in)

The Dream SMP is a Minecraft multiplayer server owned by Dream, and most of the stuff happens over on live streams on twitch. Some content creators post highlight videos on their youtube channels, which was how I started, but it doesn’t quite fully catch the whole story and nuances (that being said I’d recommend TommyInnit, Wilbur Soot or Technoblade as a good place to get started, they all have youtube playlists on their channels)

The server starts off like a normal survival server, but then TommyInnit joins and starts stirring up trouble. This sparks off the disc war (fighting over Tommy’s most prized possessions on the server (keep that in mind) a couple of discs he’s managed to get (Cat and Mellohi most importantly)) and the pet war (Between Tommy and Sapnap, involving a lot of animal deaths, including Tommy’s cow Henry). I’m a little unclear on the early days of the server, cos I’ve only seen a few youtube highlights, but that’s the gist of it. 

Then Wilbur Soot joins the server. With Tommy, Tommy’s friend Tubbo, Eret and Fundy (who is Wilbur’s son and also a fox in lore), they create a new country of L’manburg, declaring independence from the rest of the server.  Dream, the owner of the server, doesn’t like this idea and it sparks the first war - the battle for independence. After fighting, a betrayal which still hangs over the heads of everyone even now, and a whole lot of tnt, Tommy challenges Dream to a 1v1 duel for independence. He loses, but sacrifices both his prized discs to Dream, securing L’manberg’s independence. 

There’s a time of peace, other characters like Niki join L’manburg and then Wilbur announces an election because he wasn’t democratically elected and wanted to secure that power. They tell Quackity - another member of the SMP who isn’t allowed in L’manburg because he’s not European and L’manberg is for Europeans only - and he decides he’s running as well. 

A last-minute entry from JSchlatt and a party alliance between Quackity and Schlatt meant that Schlatt barely won the election. Schatt’s first decree is to exile Tommy and Wilbur, and they’re chased out of L’manburg by a rain of arrows. The walls are torn down, the flag burned by Fundy and a new flag erected and L’manberg is renamed Manberg. 

Tommy and Wilbur find shelter in an underground canyon they name Pogtopia, Tubbo is left behind and recruited to be a mole/spy for them and they call in the help of an old friend - Technoblade. 

(An aside here, Techno, Tommy, Wilbur and another Minecraft youtube - Philza - have a group dynamic called the Sleepy Boys Incorporated. Lots of people headcanon them as a family, with Phil being the father and the others being brothers, but I like Phil being Wilbur’s father, Tommy being adopted/just showing up and they can’t get rid of him, and Techno being an old friend of Phil’s who’s about Wilbur’s age)

Schlatt announces a Festival. Tubbo is in charge of decorations for it and is also giving a speech. On the way back after spying on the announcement, Wilbur turns to Tommy and asks if they’re being the bad guys. He then announces “let’s be the badguys” and despite Tommy’s protests, gets a Whole Lotta TnT of Dream. 

The day of the festival arrives - Wilbur has rigged the entirety of Manburg with tnt. Wilbur and Tommy spy on the festivals while Techno who was invited joins in. Then, after Tubbo’s speech - which is going to be the cue to explode it all - things start to go wrong. Schlatt and Quackity trap Tubbo in a box, and Techno is called up to execute him because Schlatt figured out he was a mole. 

Techno does because of mild peer pressure, Wilbur goes to find the button but can’t, Techno goes on a rampage and murders a whole bunch of people, and Tommy is Upset. Back at Pogtopia he challenges Techno to a 1v1 fist fight which he loses (dude has not won a single 1v1)

Tubbo is now with Pogtopia, having lost the second of his three canon lives (as have Tommy and Wilbur at different points). Fundy reveals himself to be a spy for Pogtopia (though Wilbur still calls him his ‘traitor son’ and ‘look my son who I despise”), and Dream announces that there’s a traitor in their midst. A date is set for the final war. 

The day arrives. There are 11 and a half stacks of tnt under Manberg. Techno shows the team his underground bunker and they all gear up. After a battle, Dream announces that they want to surrender, and shows them Schlatt, who dies to a very anticlimatic heart attack. 

Wilbur appoints Tommy president, who declines and Tubbo becomes president instead. Then Wilbur slips off to the button room, saying that the thing he built the country for no longer exists (turns out he’s the traitor). 

Then Philza, who had previously not been whitelisted, joins the server directly behind Wilbur and at the same moment, Techno shoots Tubbo, announcing that despite constantly saying he was fighting against government he’d been betrayed by them setting up a government right in front of him. Everyone starts fighting while Phil tries to talk Wilbur down. Wilbur doesn’t listen, hits the button, blows up Manberg and then asks Phil to kill him. Phil does, (somewhat reluctantly “you’re my son!”) and then rushes down to help the others fight the two withers that Techno just spawned. 

In the aftermath, New L’manberg rises with Tubbo as president. Techno goes into retirement and Wilbur comes back as Ghostbur - who is extremely wholesome and has a bad memory, cos he’s not able to remember anything bad. There’s a stretch of peace, in which Ranboo joins the server, Ghostbur, Fundy and Phil have some family bonding, Ghostbur hands out blue which apparently sucks up sadness, and some side plots happen. 

Then Tommy and Ranboo burn down the house of the current king of the smp and Dream takes his chance. Through various manipulations, threats, and forcing people into situations they don’t want to be from Dream, Tubbo exiles Tommy.  

Tommy has a Hard Time in exile with Dream heavily manipulating him, to the point where he’s staring longingly at lava in the nether and being a shell of himself. Ghostbur hangs out with him for a bit (giving him and tubbo both compasses that point to each other) but just vanishes one day, leaving tommy completely alone with Dream. (it’s later revealed that Dream sent him off to wander in the snow - and turns out snow and rain melts him. He also finds a blue sheep who he calls Friend)

 New L’manberg is rotting from the inside, Tubbo bowing more and more to the pressures of his new role and becoming more corrupt. He and his cabinet (Fundy and Quackity and Ranboo is there as well) put Phil under house arrest while trying to track down Techno to kill him. 

Dream pushes a little too hard with Tommy, and Tommy towers high into the sky, realizes Dream was never his friend and leaves, finding shelter under Techno’s house. 

The butcher army (Tubbo, Fundy, Quackity and Ranboo’s there too) capture Techno by holding his horse hostage and try to execute him, but he escapes with the help of Dream (which will come back because Techno now owes him a favour) and goes back home to find a feral Tommy living like a raccoon in his basement. Tubbo then goes to visit Tommy, only to find a creator where Dream blew everything up, and a tower reaching into the sky, with no sign of Tommy. He assumes Tommy is dead. 

Techno and Tommy have been hanging out together, Tommy wanting to get his discs back (Tubbo having one he gave him as a symbol of trust and Dream having the other, but Techno wants to destroy L’manberg and the government) Tommy is slowly building up his confidence and sneaking back into L’manberg. Techno rescued Phil from his house arrest. Tubbo has been burying himself in projects and being mostly ooc which I translate to ‘my best friend just died and it’s partly my fault so I'm gonna go make a guardian farm and Not Think About That.’ Ranboo is the only one with any sense and can see that Dream is holding all the streams and that people shouldn’t be fighting, but working together to defeat him. He’s technically part of L’manberg, but he’s been hanging out with Techno and Tommy a fair bit. 

And Dream commissioned a prison that is going to be completely inescapable. Like, completely. Like, the creator of the prison died and respawned inside it at one point and said it’d take him an hour to get out and he knows how it works and had to be teleported out. Like, this thing will send texts to the guards’ phones if a block is broken. We have no idea what it’s for and we are afraid. 

In today’s stream, Tommy and Techno hold someone hostage in an effort to get Techno’s weapons back, Tommy and Tubbo properly see each other for the first time and get into a bit of a fight, Techno starts to slowly turn Tommy against Tubbo/the government and Tommy faces off with Dream, gaining enough confidence to cuss him out. 

And that’s basically where we’re at now. This is a very rough outline of what happens, and I’ve left out most of the more cursed lore (Wilbur has fun) and a lot of the side plots (like the Crimson egg that’s been spreading, and El Rapids). If you wanna know more i’m down to info dump more and can provide you with links. 

Also, real quick, check out the animatics! SAD-ist has some amazing ones, as does Late-August, The Channel Without a Name and a WHOLE lot of other’s whose names I forget. Honestly just search ‘dream smp animatic’ and spend a couple hours looking through them they’re AMAZING. I can provide you with links of those as well!

[cantgetoutofmyheda]

46. What if i told you... clexa

If someone had told a younger version of Lexa that she would one day find herself in a conference room with the head of marketing for 20th Century Fox Films, she would have laughed in their face—but here she was, sitting face-to-face with Indra.

The woman pursed her lips, making a calculated decision in her head before finally speaking, “Listen, Lexa. It’s the company’s 85th anniversary. We need to go big, that’s why we’re here talking to you,” she paused, waiting for Lexa to acknowledge the compliment, “I’ll be honest, we received a lot of good proposals from your competitors, but there’s something about Vice that has just been speaking out to me.”

Lexa nodded and tugged her lips into a grin, “Is it the exceptional branded content we make for our partners? Our network of publications we have ties to? The culturally relevant events we plan on a weekly basis?” She lifted her brow before she continued, “Indra, I promise you that if you go with my team, the whole world will know that your company will be throwing the party of the year. Forget the Met Gala, everyone’s going to want an invite to this.”

Indra couldn’t help but laugh at the younger woman’s enthusiasm, “They don’t call you ‘The Commander’ for nothing, huh?”

“So I’ve been told,” Lexa smirked.

“Okay,” Indra sighed, “Put your best team on it. I want a huge campaign—media running at least a month before the event. Co-branded billboards. Hell, I want every damn bus, cab, and train wrapped in our posters.”

“You got it,” Lexa nodded as she jotted down notes.

“And,” Indra lifted her index finger, “I want your creative department to vet all the artists through me. I give final approval on the commissioned pieces, and I am counting on your creatives to make sure that our vision isn’t being taken away.”

Lexa nodded again, “Of course,” she couldn’t help the grin on her face as she stuck out her hand, “So do we have a deal?”

Indra let out a chuckle, reaching for the brunette’s hand, “It seems as so.”

---

“It’s going to be fucking sick, Lexa,” Anya smiled, flipping through a Keynote presentation, “Indra approved every single artist I chose and their initial concepts.”

“Knew you’d come through,” Lexa shrugged.

“Oh,” Anya turned to face her, “As if I’ve never come through with mind blowing plans?”

“You do,” she shrugged again, “that’s why you’re our creative director.”

Anya placed her hand on Lexa’s shoulder, “Exactly. Now are you ready for me to run through production timelines? They’re kind of tight, but I know we can make them work.”

Lexa sat on the lounge chair across Anya’s desk and kicked her feet onto the small coffee table, “Hit me.”

“Alright,” Anya flipped to another slide, “We give the artists approval today to start their pieces and check in next Tuesday for revisions—that’s over a week from now, which should be enough time. By the following Tuesday, we do one more round—hopefully working with the final product. Once Indra gives the ‘okay,’ she chooses eight of the thirty pieces to highlight in the advertising leading up to the event, and the rest will be unveiled there.”

Lexa nodded, the tip of her ballpoint pen was sitting at the corner of her mouth, “We’ll need to digitize all the paintings as soon as they’re finished in order to get the right specs for the billboards and transit wraps, then your team will have to work pretty quick to get some editorial pieces, digital videos of the story behind the eight pieces, and all the online banners.”

“All built into the timeline,” Anya shook her head, “Have you no faith in me?”

“I know,” Lexa nodded, “I know. It’s just the biggest partner we’ve ever had and biggest campaign and event we’ve ever done, it needs to be perfectly executed.”

Anya looked at her friend dead in the eyes, “And it will be.”

---

To say that the campaign leading into the event was successful would be the understatement of the year. The ads using the re-imaged artwork for the film house’s famous movie posters was the talk of the town—talk of the country. Every publication was writing about them, streaming for the eight movies chosen had nearly tripled on Netflix, Hulu, and Prime, compared to this time period last year. Lexa was beyond happy—exhausted, but beyond happy.

“Stop stressing,” Anya rubbed her friend’s arm, “everything’s going to be perfect.”

“I know, it’s just,” Lexa rubbed her temple before smoothing her pressed white button up which was neatly tucked into her slim-fitting suit pants, “this is it. It’s the climax of the whole activation—all eyes are on it.”

“Go mingle and check out all the posters, Lex,” Anya gave her a gentle nudge forward, “Hell, grab a glass of wine, too. I know you haven’t seen all the final art yet, go take a look and enjoy yourself for a bit—it’s well deserved.”

Lexa nodded, “Okay, yeah. Just call or text me if you need anything.”

Anya rolled her eyes, “Just go.”

---

Lexa found herself sipping her wine and staring at a painting that depicted one of her favorite movies. She knew that someone was commissioned to do this piece, it was actually one of the ones she didn’t want to see the concepts and mocks for—wanting to be surprised during the unveiling of the showcase. She stood, sipped, and stared, hoping to find answers to her questions within each brush stroke.

“You’ve been standing here for a while,” a voice next to her observed.

Lexa turned to face the stranger and was taken aback by how piercing her blue eyes were, “I have. And I presume you have too, if you’ve taken notice to me.”

The woman smiled, “I saw you from across the room a few minutes ago. I’ve been making my way through the exhibit. I was pretty surprised to see still handing here as I made my way around.”

Lexa returned the smile, “I see. So, are you in the film industry or are you a fan of art?”

“The latter,” the woman smiled, “Do you have a favorite piece from tonight?”

Lexa turned back to the painting in front of her, “I think I’m still trying to decide. What about you?”

“Easy,” she answered, “over in the Modernism section—Mannequin, the 80’s movie with Kim Cattrall.”

Lexa furrowed her brow, “I actually don’t think I know it. What’s it about?”

The woman laughed, “80’s rom-com. Kim Cattrall plays a department store mannequin that comes to life. It’s so bad that it’s good. One of my all time guilty pleasures.”

“Sounds interesting,” Lexa smirked, “Might have to check that one out.”

“So,” the blue-eyed beauty stepped closer to Lexa, “tell me what’s so interesting about this piece for you. I don’t mean to be presumptuous, but I’d assume there’s something piquing your interest since you’ve been standing here for so long.”

“I–,” Lexa started, “Well, this is one of my favorite movies of all time.”

The woman nodded for her to continue.

Lexa smiled, “I knew this was being commissioned, but I wasn’t expecting this particular poster to be used. I know there were a few different ones floating around when the movie was in theaters, but this one was one of the more uncommon ones. I’m not bummed about it, just trying to understand why the artist chose this one to represent the film.”

She brought her attention back to the piece—it’s true, Star Wars Episode V: The Empire Strikes Back was one of her favorite movies of all time, and arguably the best Star Wars movie in the entire saga. Mostly everyone knew the iconic poster: Darth Vader in the shadows of the background, with Han Solo and Princess Leia in an almost-kiss in the foreground, and Luke and the droids at their side. This piece, however—this piece didn’t depict that poster. This one had Darth Vader most prominent with Stormtroopers rushing to the foreground. The film’s protagonists all had a certain fear cast in their eyes—it showcased the power of the Dark Side, not the optimistic resistance of the Light Side that people were used to.

“I see,” the woman interrupted her train of thought, “it’s nice to see something so out of the ordinary for such an iconic movie, though. Don’t you think?”

Lexa nodded, “Absolutely, I think the thing that’s on my mind is just wanting to know why the artist chose to do their depiction on this poster.”

“So,” the woman took another step closer, now entering Lexa’s personal space, “are you industry or a fan of art?”

“Both, I suppose,” Lexa said, scanning the woman in front of her up and down, “I work for Vice, my team put the campaign and event together—though I am a big fan of art, even outside of this project,” she tugged the corner of her mouth into a smirk and reached her hand forward, “Lexa Woods.”

The woman took Lexa’s hand in hers, giving it a light shake, “What if I told you I was the artist behind this commission?”

Lexa raised a brow, but before she could respond, the woman spoke up again, “Clarke Griffin. It’s a pleasure.”

“Clarke,” Lexa repeated, surprised at the way the woman’s named rolled so seamlessly off her tongue, “Pleasure is all mine. Maybe I could pick your brain about your piece, then?”

Clarke raised a brow, “How about over a drink?”

“Well,” Lexa raised her glass of wine, “I already have one, so maybe we should get one for you?”

Clarke bit her bottom lip, “I was thinking something outside of a work setting—because that’s technically what this is for you, right? Me as well, I suppose.”

Lexa smiled, “I see. Are you asking me out for a drink?”

“I guess I am,” Clarke grinned, “But only for the sake of Star Wars and artistic expression.”

“Only?” Lexa raised a brow.

Clarke corrected herself, “Mostly.”

“I see,” Lexa smirked, “tomorrow at 7? Wine bar down the street?”

“Sure,” Clarke nodded with a grin plastered on her face.

“Well then,” Lexa cocked her head to the side, “I suppose it’s a date.”

[duhragonball]

Dragon Ball Z 134

I’m just imagining Toriyama having this same discussion with his editor. 

On the flip side of things, Dr. Gero is struggling to convince 17 and 18 that the Z-Fighters are a clear and present danger.    The problem is that they were never exactly loyal to Gero in the first place, which was why Gero was so reluctant to activate them.   But Vegeta destroyed Android 19 with ease, and Piccolo damaged him pretty badly, and Future Trunks is a complete mystery to him.    Also, Gero worked Krillin over pretty well on the way here, and he’s still on his feet.    Like it or not, he needs 17 and 18 now.   

Thing is, 17 and 18 don’t really need Dr. Gero.    At this point in the story, all we really know about these two is that they never fell into line with Gero’s authority.   My personal assumption is that they resent him for turning them into cyborgs against their will.   I feel like there’s lore about how they don’t remember their former lives as humans, so maybe I’m wrong.   

The point is that they only really ever got along with him because he had devices like the remote that could shut them down.   17 seemed pretty angry about that in the previous episode when he destroyed it.   They may have other beefs with Gero, but they seemed especially frustrated with the way he could just “put them to sleep” at any time, for any duration.    Now they’re finally awake again and it turns out Gero built a nineteenth androids in the meantime, and then he had 19 rebuild Gero in the twentieth android.   To Gero, that’s old news, but to 17 and 18, it only goes to show how long they’ve been out of commission.

18 wonders aloud why Gero based himself and 19 off the “older” energy absorption model, as opposed to the “eternal energy” model she and 17 are based upon.   I think she hit the nail on the head.   Gero suspected that 17 and 18 were unruly because they were too powerful.  I don’t know if he’s right, but he wouldn’t have trusted either of them to rebuild him into an android body, so he built 19 in a way that he could trust.   I’m not sure why he didn’t have himself made into an “eternal-energy” type, though.  Was he afraid he’d betray himself?    Did he think it would drive him insane?  He’s already an evil mad scientist, how much worse could it get?

So 17 and 18 tell Gero that they’ll deal with the Z-Fighters later, when they get around to it.   Without his controller, he doesn’t have much leverage over them.   Really, even if he did have the controller, he’s in no position to use it.   17 and 18 are the only thing keeping him alive right now.    If he shut them down, he’d be the first one to die.   

Instead, 18 wanders around the lab to see what’s changed since she was last active, and notices another chamber containing an Android 16.   She’s curious about this one, since he’s an unlimited energy model like herself, only he seems to be much larger, indicating a different design.   But Gero gets upset at the very idea of turning him on.    Back at the door, Trunks is just horrified to learn of a fifth android.   

While they bicker, the Z-Fighters just sort of stand at the door and watch.    Krillin suggests they retreat while they’re distracted, and Vegeta plans to stick around no matter what.   Inside, Dr. Gero tries to pull 18 away from 16, which is pretty dumb, since she’s much stronger than he is.   I mean, this is why he reactivated her in the first place, after all.   

It’s pretty fun watching Gero struggle like this.  He was so confident in his plans and backup plans when he first showed up, but now he’s trapped between Vegeta and his own misfit creations.   The funny thing is that 17 and 18 will be kicking the crap out of the Z-Fighters very soon, but not nearly soon enough to do him any good.    Right now all they want to do is screw with his stuff.

18 points out that all the Androids up to #15 aren’t present in the lab.    I suppose this is why Movie 7 introduces 13, 14, and 15 in the sub basement.   18′s point here is that it doesn’t make sense that Gero considers 16 defective.  If he were truly as dangerous as he claims, then why keep him in tact at all?    Really, you could ask the same question about 17 and 18.   They represent the high water mark of Gero’s android research, and maybe he thought he could work the bugs out of their systems, but they’re clearly not going to help him, so wouldn’t he have been better off dismantling them?

Gero starts flipping his shit, warning them that turning on 16 could get them all killed.   17 scans 16 and concludes that 17 has a higher power level, so clearly 16 isn’t a threat.    Gero keeps arguing with them,  and threatens to turn them off, but he doesn’t have the remote, so he can’t.    All he can do is threaten to build a new one, like anyone’s gonna stand back and let him do that.

Finally, as 18 pushes the button on 16′s chamber, 17 attacks Gero and kills him.   This was the big moment Trunks spoke of when he first warned Goku about the android threat.  He said they killed Gero when they were activated, and now it’s finally come to pass.    It’s not clear how things played out in Trunks’ timeline, but in this one it just took a little longer to play out.  

Krillin is shocked that 17 would kill his own creator like that, but Vegeta thinks it’s very similar to the Saiyan way of doing things, which makes the Earthlings the oddballs in the universe.

Then Trunks blows up the whole mountain because he’s been quietly freaking out over all these androids while this scene has been playing out.    I’m pretty sure he didn’t expect that blast to kill 17 and 18, since he never managed anything like that in his own time, but he probably hoped to destroy 16 at least, and any other secret weapons Gero left lying around.

But yeah, no, they’re all fine.   Vegeta scolds Trunks for wasting his energy on a pointless attack like that.    18 goes back to turning on 16 like nothing happened.

So they let him out of the chamber and he’s a big ol’ feller.   17 and 18 ask him why Dr. Gero was so uptight about activating him, but he has nothing to say.

But when they ask him if he was also created to kill Goku, he says yes, and I guess that’s enough for them to bond over.  18 says it was rude for Gero to deem 16 a failure, since he seems to be on board with the whole “kill Goku” agenda.  

As for 17 and 18, they’re not particularly inclined to folllow Gero’s instructions, but they need something to get them started, so hunting down Goku is as good an objective as any.    So they fly off together to plan their next move.  

So the reactions to this development make a pretty good lesson on characterization.   The Z-Fighters are all on the same side, but they’re not all of one mind.    So when something like this happens, it’s a good chance to show them all reacting differently.   Tien just wonders where they’re going.     He’s the practical sort.   He didn’t expect them to leave, so he wants to know why they left and what they’re up to.  

Piccolo’s more of a strategist.   He’s mostly interested in what the Androids aren’t doing, which is rampaging through the nearest populated area, which was what Trunks says they do in his timeline.    For him, the main issue is that the Androids aren’t behaving the way he anticipated, which makes it harder to plan around.   

Krillin thinks with his heart, which often leads him to make logical leaps, but he’s pretty sharp at the same time, so a lot of times he gets the right answer.    This is has been about Goku from the start, so it makes sense that they’d go after him, especially if they’re not interested in attacking the other Z-Fighters or destroying cities.    It’s the only thing left on their bucket list.

And Vegeta’s an egomaniac.    As far as he’s concerned, this is all about him, and he’s offended that he stood here, ready to fight the Androids, and they didn’t even notice.   

And Trunks is just way in over his head.   Right now all he wants to do is wait for Goku to recover from the heart virus so they can regroup and figure this mess out.  He definitely does not want to go off picking fights with 17 and 18, because they were too much for the Z-Fighters in his own history.   In this timeline, they now have backup, and he has no idea what 16 is capable of.    But Vegeta doesn’t care, and he chases after the androids anyway.

The problem here is that Trunks doesn’t understand Vegeta’s attitude toward Goku.    He doesn’t see him as a valuable ally, he hates him worse than he hates the androids, and as far as he’s concerned, he wants to kill the androids first, then finish off Goku later.   So he punches Trunks and leaves.

Then Krilin reminds Trunks that if the Androids really are headed for Goku’s house, they’ll run across Gohan and Bulma along the way, since they sent them there a couple of episodes back.  So now Trunks realizes they have to intercept the Androids, or else he might lose both his parents.

Speaking of Bulma, Gohan was flying her, Baby Trunks, and Yajirobe back to Goku’s house, but in this episode they’ve stopped somewhere and built a campfire for some reason.     This is one of those weird things in the anime where some subplots seem to take much longer than the main story.    I’m pretty sure it’s only been an hour or so since the attack on Amenbo Island.  I guess it could have been longer than that, since Gero had to travel all the way from South City to North City, but he’s pretty fast.    Anyway, the idea that Gohan’s group had to land and rest long enough to build a fire seems kind of weird, like this whole saga has spanned most of the day.   

Anyway, it’s been a while since we’ve had a small boy in this series, so Toei’s gonna return to its roots and show baby weiners.  

At Goku’s house, Chi-Chi’s coping with the crisis by cooking.    She figures Goku will be hungry when he recovers from the virus, and she does this cute impression of him while she thinks about it.    I love this, because this is exactly what they did in the dub version.   Honestly, the subs and dubs match up a lot more often than they don’t.   I won’t deny that the dub got a lot of stuff very different, and some of it flat out wrong, but one of the reasons I wanted to watch the whole thing in Japanese was to see just how different it was, and it’s not that far off.  

I mean, this is a visual medium, first and foremost.    I see Team Four Star talking about the directions they want to take the characters in with the DBZ Abridged series, but the fact of the matter is that they’re pretty much confined to the footage they have to work with.   Funimation had the same constraints in the early 2000′s when they dubbed this part of the story.    The way I heard it, they didn’t have access to the original Japanese scripts, so they had to write the English version based on Spanish dubs instead.    And sometimes they would ad lib things to punch up the story or fill long pauses without any dialogue.    You can debate whether that’s a good idea or not, but the bottom line is that there’s only so many ways you can spin a scene like this.   Chi-Chi’s clearly not cooking all that food for Yamcha.    I’m sure he can have some, but that’s not what’s on her mind right now, and any dub that ignores her concern over Goku is missing the point.   

All TFS can do is try to make it funny.   I’m pretty sure they didn’t use this scene, probably because there wasn’t a good way to make it funny, but they’d still have to acknowledge the fundamental premise that Chi-Chi is cooking food because she’s worried about Goku.    You could go in an absurdist direction and have her say “hehehe im putting p00p in this food because i h8 my husband lol XD”   But that’s pretty cheap.   Any idiot could tell that joke.  

See?   

Yamcha reminds Chi-Chi that the virus might be contagious, so he tells her that they should both take some of the medicine.    I feel like that should have already happened by now, but whatever.   I seem to recall in the dub, Chi-Chi tells him he has to buy his own bottle, which is kind of petty.    Like I said, the dub does take some liberties, but it mostly sticks to the story.   

Meanwhile, Vegeta’s butthurt that everyone trusts Goku to solve this crisis, even though he’s at least as strong as Goku now.     He seems to be missing the point that he can Goku probably need to work together on this problem, but whatever.

Elsewhere, 17 leads his group to a highway, because he wants to steal a car and drive it to Goku’s house, as opposed to flying straight there.   While they wait for a car to drive by, they ask 16 if he was based on a human, like they were, and he explains that Dr. Gero constructed him from scratch.

And this is where the whole Android/Cyborg/Artificial Human thing sot of falls apart.   #20 is clearly a cyborg, because you can see Dr. Gero’s brain in the dome on op of his head.    17 and 18 are cyborgs, because, as they say, they were built from human beings.    A lot of fans just refer to them as cyborgs for that reason, but 16 is not a cyborg, because he’s purely artificial.   Since he’s a robot that closely resembles a human, that makes him an android, literally, by definition.   

I’m less sure about #19.   The dome on his head looked like it had a bunch of computer parts in it, but that could just mean Gero transferred his brainpatterns to a CPU, or he may have cut out 19′s cerebrum entirely, killing the human he was based upon, but still using organic parts in his final design.   16 might be the same deal, really.    He looks and acts a lot like the Terminator robot, and those guys were just robot endoskeletons wrapped in cloned human flesh.   The T-800′s are cyborgs, even though they don’t have human brains or human consciousness.   

Anyway, that’s why I use “android”.   It’s incorrect, and I know it’s incorrect, but it’s what the dub used, so I’m used to it, and there doesn’t seem to be a more “right” term available that covers all of these characters.   

This revelation makes 17 wonder why Gero ever bothered using humans in his experiments.  If he could build an android fighter from scratch, why did he abandon that design to make 17 and 18?   

This is something I like about the androids.   You’d expect the higher-number ones to be stronger, but instead Toriyama introduced them in reverse order.    16′s the strongest, then 17 and 18, then 19 and 20.   Movie 7 takes that idea one step further by having #13 be even stronger still.   The implication is that Dr. Gero had his perfect killing machine ready to go a long time ago, but something about #16 worried him, so he went back to the drawing board and made something weaker.   Then 17 and 18 proved too hard to control, so he went back to the drawing board again and made #19, and then he decided to turn himself into an android, which is kind of stupid seeing as he’s the lynchpin to this whole operation.  If Gero fights Goku himself and loses, there’s no one left to build the next wave.  

I don’t know if this is about Gero being a perfectionist, or realizing that power couldn’t be the only factor in his design, or what.    You’d think the ideal android would combine traits from 16 through 20, but he seems to have abandoned one idea and moved on to another.    Why not build a cyborg with unlimited energy and the power to drain people’s ki?   Well, we can’t as Gero now, because 17 killed him.

Anyway, Vegeta finds them and challenges them to a fight.  

18 asks 16 to fight Vegeta first, because she wants to see what he can do, but he refuses.  So 18 decides to take care of him herself, because fuck this guy.   I’m a Vegeta fan, but come on.   Fuck this guy.  

Seriously, when has anyone ever said this and won a fight?   Like, in Iron Man 2, Happy Hogan tries to go easy on Black Widow because she’s disguised as a secretary and he doesn’t know she can kick his ass, and she kicks his ass.     No one ever goes “Well, I’ll probably win because you’re just a dumb ol’ girl,” and actually wins.  

Seriously, this is just ingrained in my head after a lifetime of watching pop culture stuff.    It always seemed surreal to me when I play Street Fighter II as Chun-Li and she loses, like she’s just supposed to automatically instakill her opponents.     My default assumption is that if I ever got in a fight with a woman, any woman, that she would probably win, because that’s what happens on TV.   I don’t know exactly how they’d do it.    I’m not very tough, so it’s not like I’d be hard to beat anyway, but if I saw a woman in a coma in the hospital I’d be like “Yeah, I better not mess with her, she could probably kick my ass.”    Is it a stupid way to live?  Maybe.    It’s also healthier.   

I’m just saying Vegeta should watch more TV.    He doesn’t have to learn everything the hard way. 

[adragonstale]

2,7,11,18,19,23,24,26,28,32,33,37,45,50,51,58,68,72,74,79,85,87,88,91,92,93,95,96,98,99 !! (that'll do for now xD)

· 2: If you could meet anyone on this earth, who would it be?

That’s a pretty though decision. For personal pleasure aka having fun? Tom Ellis. To do something meaningful? Well as meaningful as it could be, Donald Trump and I would punch him in his ugly face and kick him in his baby carrot.Maybe not the wisest choices, but I was never known for being wise to begin with.

· 7: What’s your strangest talent?

I’m good in remembering Details about TV shows even a decade after I’ve seen them :D

· 11: Do you have any strange phobias?

Nope, luckily no phobia at all

· 18: Do you believe in karma?

Yes, big time. and I hope it bites all those people ruining our world in their asses

· 19: What does your URL mean?

It was a blog only for dragons to get reposted and well it didn’t stay like that, but I like it anyway so I never changed it

· 23: How do you vent your anger?

Mostly through videogames. Sometimes my anger is fasterthan my brain and it can happen that I punch a wall without wanting to do it. Isprained my hand more than once because of this :D

· 24: Do you have a collection of anything?

I collect dragon figures, bones and other dead stuff,books/comics I want to read, Lucifer stuff (TV show, Comic and biblical figure), books about dog training/ mushing

· 26: Are you happy with the person you’ve become?

Mostly yes, I still have a lot to work on and I know Iwill not be able to get over all the things that I hate on myself. But since Istopped giving a damn on what other people think about me I became way more happy with myself

·  28: What’s your biggest “what if”?

Another hard one, there are a lot of “what if’s” in live,right?The one that’s almost always present in my thoughts is “What if I had money and what would I do with it.”The answer is pretty simple. I wouldn’t need to decide between getting a newwinter jacket or another vet treatment of my now deceased senior dog.I wouldn’t need to decide if going to a Christmas market is something I canafford once or twice a year.It would also be just to go on vacation. Not a big ass 5 star hotel vacation.More like “Let’s go to the beach over the weekend outside of the season andjust enjoy the time there.”And it would be supporting all my favorite artists via commissions or patreon.

· 32: What’s the worst place you have ever been to?

School. I count it as place and those where the mosthorrible years of my life. I hated every day and the only good thing were thevacations.

· 33: Choose: East Coast or West Coast?

I’m from Germany, soooo I have no idea, spontaneously Iwould say West Coast though, because California is always warm in comparison toGermany (even though the drought and wildfires are horrible) and I have someawesome friends there

· 37: Do you believe in luck?

Yes, too bad it often hits the wrong persons

· 45: What’s the worst injury you’ve ever had?

I think I was 20 or 21 (looong time ago) when I had amotorcycle accident.It was the ONE day I didn’t wear my whole protective gear because the daybefore I forgot the protective pants in the office. Well, long story short: It rained, my tires where old and were about to bereplaced in the next days and I fell. I got away with a knee that is now actingup every know and then. It can be pretty annoying, for example doing squats? Nope not more than 10 or so or it would swell and hurt the next day.Although now that I think of it, I also had a bike accident a few years later.I fell on my wrist and sprained it pretty bad. I never went to a doctor and Istill have issues with. It probably had some fissures or so. I don’t know, butsince then I’m in pain if I pick up heavy stuff in a certain angle and rotatingit is also not always pleasant.

·  50: Do you believe in magic?

Harry Potter like magic? NoMagic like in spirits, a hidden world next to ours and stuff like that? Yes.

· 51: Do you tend to hold grudges against people who have done you wrong?

Oooh yes. It takes a lot to piss me off and make me holda grudge, but if someone manages it, I will hold on to it forever. Probably not the healthiest thing to do, but welp.

· 58: Can you touch your nose with your tongue?

Yes, not the tip of my nose, but my septum

· 68: What do you think is Satan’s last name?

I would say Morningstar, even though it’s more a titlethan a last name.How about Decker? :D

· 72: You are at the doctor’s office and she has just informed you that you haveapproximately one month to live. a) Do you tell anyone/everyone you are goingto die? b) What do you do with your remaining days? c) Would you be afraid?

a) Only very close people like my mom and my soulmate friends. They deserve to know.

b) I would do a lot of stuff that I put off. Like going to the beach again.(although I don’t have so much on my bucket list). I would see that I can finda good new home for my pets if my friends are not able to take them in, becauseI love my little fur and scaley babies. I would also give away my money (notthat I have any LOL) to my friends most in need.

c) Oh hell yes. I believe in some kind of afterlife, but it’s still scary

·  74: What’s a song that always makes you happy when you hear it?

Too many to name them, but a really special song is this one.Whenever I hear it I’m back in Croatia 15 years ago standing on a beach andwatching the stormy sea. I just loved it. It was calming and powerful to me.And since then this song is on almost all of my playlists when I’m on the wayto a convention or so and so it collected many more memories as well

· 79: What is the single best decision you have made in your life so far?

Getting my Body modifications done/ planned out. It pairswell with #26 since both go hand in hand. It made me happier and more selfaccepting, so it was definitely the best thing

· 85: What’s the last song you listened to?

DeProfundis – ASP(No, I don’t only listen to German Musik)

· 87: What is your current desktop picture?

And those two didn’t change for quite a while now. I havethe right one since the scene aired and before I had Season 4 Crispy on theleft, I had season 3 one from the last scene.

· 88: If you could press a button and make anyone in the world instantaneously explode,who would it be?

Donald Trump!And if it could be more than one then also Boris Johnson, Erdogan and all the other tyrants and idiots in important areas of the world

 91: You accidentally eat some radioactive vegetables. They were good, and what’s even

cooler is that they endow you with the super-power of your choice! What is thatpower?

Flying, give me some big ass wings and let me fly. It’sbeen my dream and to go superpower since I can remember, but I insist on the wings

· 92: You can re-live any point of time in your life. The time-span can only be ahalf-hour, though. What half-hour of your past would you like to experienceagain?

The Tom Ellis Meet and Greet I had this year. My life isn’tthat exciting that I had any other important things happen within the time span of 30 minutes

· 93: You can erase any horrible experience from your past. What will it be?

Hard decision between growing up with an alcoholic Dad orhaving my sister.The history between me and my sister is long and full of hate for each other. No, you are not obligated to like each other just because you are family. No,not even if your ages are relatively close to each other.And well, then there is my Dad and nope, I’m not in contact with him anymore. I don’t even know if he is still alive since I know from my mom that he got diagnosed with an inoperable brain tumor earlier this year. And to be honest, I don’t care at all.

· 95: You just got a free plane ticket to anywhere. You have to depart right now. Whereare you gonna go?

Since I’m going to Los Angeles anyway soon (Because Ihave the best friends who gifted me the plane tickets and everything so I cansee the Lucifer sets T_____T) I would say Norway or something like that.I really REALLY hate the cold weather, but I would love to experience a realhusky mushing/ dog sledding tour.

· 96: Do you have any relatives in jail?

Nope, not to my knowledge

· 98: Ever been on a plane?

Yes, exactly one time, in January this year to go toBrighton to the first LUX Convention

99: If the whole world were listening to you right now, what would you say?

I’m not the one who should speak to the world. And itdoesn’t matter anyway if nobody is really listening if you know what I mean. Iprobably would ask if they would be willing to REALLY listen to people likeGreta Thunberg and the scientists again.

[rootbeergoddess]

A Night at the Bar

A long overdue commission for @thekraziesreside featuring her OC Em and Dr. Drakken.

Em took out her compact mirror and looked at herself. She thought she looked cute; one of her friends who were more make-up savvy than she was had helped her with her look. She was wearing a simple yet elegant black cocktail dress and matching pumps. Still, she wasn’t 100 percent sure. Dating was not her thing. Yeah, she dated, but she would rather be at home working on her latest project.

“Well, I’m here,” She put her mirror away. “Guess I better try this mixer thing out.”

Em stepped into Dr. Brew’s Bar of Evil. The name was a bit much, or at least she thought so. It was mostly a place for henchmen and aspiring villains to hang out. There wasn’t anything really evil about their activities, though. Most people went to the bar just to relax. Or in the case of tonight, attend a singles mixer.

It was good that Em was going out; she had been in her lab all week. It wasn’t right for her. According to research, it was important for young women her age to socialize. Em did have friends, of course, but most of them didn’t understand her work, and they usually would instead go clubbing. Hell, going to a bar was rare for Em. She was only here because her friend Nicky suggested it. Both of them were single, and they were both free on Friday. Em had no good excuse, so she had agreed.

“Em, over here!”

Em felt reassured when she saw Nicky. They were polar opposites; Nicky was an artist while Em was a scientist. Nicky was wearing a bright, pink dress with lime green heels and yellow earrings. Of course, she was, and Em was happy about that. Em needed someone bright and bubbly like Nicky in her life. Nicky ran over to Em and gave her a hug.

“It’s been such a long time,” Nicky said.

“You saw me last week,” Em replied.

“Emmy, come on,” Nicky sighed. “Talking to you on the phone isn’t the same as interacting with you in real life. You know that, right?”

“True,” Em followed Nicky to a table. “But isn’t talking on the phone enough?”

“I can’t hug you over the phone,” Nicky continued. “And when I do call you, you always seem so distracted by your work. Speaking of which, did you finish that latest gadget? What was it?” “I can show you,” Em said, reaching into her purse.

“Let’s sit down first,” Nicky said, pushing Em into a seat. “I’ll order you a drink, what do you want?”

I’ll just take a water for now,” Em said, taking out a small box. “Now look.”

Nicky opened up the box. She made an ‘oh’ noise when she saw the golden bracelet lying in the box. Carefully, Em picked up the item and slipped it on Nicky’s wrist. Nicky smiled as she held it up, taking a look at it. Em leaned over, pressed a button on the side, and a dart flew out. It flew past a few patrons before sticking to the wall.

“Wow!” Nicky giggled. “So, the person who asked for this is making a store of jewelry that doubts as a weapon?”

“Basically,” Em said. “Not only does it have darts, but it also pepper spray and a mini taser.”

“Can I order one? I’d love one of these,” Nicky slipped it off her wrist. “Em, you really a genius.”

Em blushed a bit. She knew she was smart, but it was always so strange hearing it from her friends or others. She didn’t know why. The waiter brought their drinks, and to avoid saying something stupid, Em took a long sip of her water. Thankfully, Nicky continued the discussion.

“I still can’t get over how well the lock picking ring you made me works,” Nicky tapped the ruby ring on her finger. “Haven’t gotten caught once. Managed to snag a nice set of jewels this week too.”

“I saw that on the news,” Em said “You did a good job. You’re one of the best thieves in this town, probably the best.”

“Thank you, Emmy dear,” She said, looking towards the bar. “Oh, look!”

Em followed Nicky’s finger. That blue skin was hard to ignore. The one and only Dr. Draken was standing at the bar. Everyone in the villain community knew who he was. Opinions on him varied differently, but he was still respected. No one teased him about being beaten by a cheerleader; every villain in Middle had dealt with Kim. Em was somewhat surprised to see Draken at the club. She had never seen him here before. “I wonder if Shego is with him,” Nicky said. “I’m telling you Em; she looks killer in cocktail dresses.”

“Oh, not again,” Em sighed. “Nicky, you have to stop lusting after that woman.”

“When she gets less hot, maybe I’ll do it,” Nicky stuck her tongue out. “Oh, the event is starting soon.”

Internally, Em groaned. She was dreading this. Yes, she needed to get back into the dating scene, but she wasn’t sure about this. Nicky had assured her that these things were fun, and it was a great way to meet people. The problem was that Em wasn’t good at dealing with people. She could handle Nicky, but other people seemed to want more. They demanded a lot of her, wanting her to be conventionally attractive or play dumb; Em refused to do either.

“Okay, so we get to sit down for this,” Nicky said. “We have this little piece of paper, and it has the names of all the guys who come by to talk to us. We rate how we liked them, turn this in at the barn, and then they set us up with who they think our perfect match would be.”

“That sounds simple enough,” Em admitted.

Sadly, it wasn’t simple.

The first issue was all the men were so unbelievably boring. None of them wanted to talk about science or inventing, and they wanted to use bad pick-up lines. While Em found the bad pick up lines funny, Em still wished they were interested in talking about anything. If they did ask Em did and she revealed her talents, they all commented the same.

“I dig nerdy chicks.”

It took all of Em’s power not to throttle them. She was actually thankful that the men were more interested in Nicky. Nicky had done these things before, and she was good at shutting down rude remarks. Em was jealous, wishing she could do the same. She would deliver a simple ‘No,’ and that was enough to stop these men in their tracks. How did she do it?

“Alright, ladies,” Dr. Draken suddenly sat down in front of Em. “I’m here!”

“And I’m out,” Nicky rolled her eyes. “I’ll go see if Shego is around.”

“Wow, Dr. Draken,” Em was in awe. “I can’t believe it, I’ve always wanted to talk to you.”

“Who wouldn’t want to talk to me?” Dr. Draken grinned. “I am the great Dr. Draken, after all!”

“I’ve always wanted to talk to you about science and your inventions,” Em continued. “I remember that amazing buggy car you made.”

“Oh, really?” Draken looked surprised. “You---follow my work?”

“Yes! In fact, I’m an inventor myself,” Em reached into her purse.

She pulled out a lipstick tube. Draken looked unimpressed as Em took off the cap and then aimed it at a bar patron. She pressed a button, and a ball of putty flew out of the tube. It hit the man at the bar, wrapping around him. The man toppled out, shouting out in surprise.

“Amazing!” Draken exclaimed.

“Oh, really, it’s nothing,” Em blushed.

“Nothing? My dear, that invention of yours is brilliant!” Draken said. “I’ve never met someone who could challenge me intellectually, but you? You might come close! Tell me, what is your name?”

“It’s Em,”

“Well, Em, I want to know what else you have. You could possibly help me with my plans for world domination!”

Em could feel her face getting redder. She couldn’t believe that this was happening. Draken was someone she had always admired. Talking to him was something she had dreamed of. A long time ago, when he was just Drew, they had met in college. She had liked him enough, but when he became Draken, things changed. Getting to talk to him and have him praise her inventions was more than she could have hoped for. They spent the rest of the event talking, exchanging ideas, and plots for defeating Kim Possible. Em didn’t realize how much time had past until Nicky returned.

With Shego’s arm wrapped around her.

“Well, it looks like you two are getting on like a house on fire,” Nicky chuckled. “But the bar is closing up, so we should probably head out.”

“It is? Oh, how long have we been talking?” Em felt somewhat embarrassed.

“Who knows? Shego is going to walk me home,” Nicky said with a grin. “So, I’ll catch you later, Em.”

“Goodnight, Doc,” Shego waved to her boss. “If you need anything, ask someone else.”

“Bah, who needs her?” Drakken sniffed dismissively. “They can go do what girls do when they’re together. What do girls do when they’re together? Braid each other’s hair?”

Em was 100% percent sure no hair braiding would be going on, but she decided not to tell Drakken that.

“We’re people of science! We have minds that many people can’t fathom! We scare people,” Drakken continued. “So, why don’t you show me more of your inventions? Maybe we could work on something! I even have a new idea. Pigs with laser guns!”

“Um---how would they hold the lasers?”

Drakken paused and then frowned.

“Nuts,” He grumbled. “I didn’t think about that.”

“Well, they wouldn’t have to hold the guns per se,” Em said. “Maybe you could have a headband, and the lasers are automatic?”

“That’s brilliant? See?” Drakken leaned closer. “You and me? We’re genius together! Think of all the things we could do.”

Em didn’t really care about taking over the world. She didn’t want to rule, that was too much work. She was fine with working with Dr. Drakken, though. While somewhat overzealous, he was a smart man. It was also refreshing to find someone who didn’t expect her to be stupid and didn’t mind that she had a brain.

“What other ideas do you have?” Em inquired. Drakken beamed like a kid in a candy store. Em glanced at her phone. It was a text from Nicki. She smiled as she read it.

Hey babe! U alright? Dr. D better b treating you, right! Shego and I had a LOT of fun if you know what I mean. ;)

Em chuckled as she replied.

I’m fine. Dr. D and I have been up all night planning.

For hours, after leaving the bar, Em and Dr. Drakken had schemed. Dr. Drakken had taken Em to his lab, and since Shego was out, the two of them have plenty of time to themselves. All night they drew up schematics, made models, and planned for the future. Em didn’t realize how early it was until the sun had risen. She felt tired, yet awake at the same time. She could have kept going if it wasn’t for the hunger in her stomach.

Her phone pinged again.

Look @ u! I told u that mixer would be fun and I was right

Em smiled.

I’m glad I went. We’re going to have breakfast right now.

She was shocked to learn that Dr. Drakken could make pancakes. Usually, Shego did the cooking, but he could make a mean flapjack. As Em texted Nicky, she stood up and headed into the kitchen. The smell of chocolate greeted her nose. She smiled at Dr. Drakken placed his last pancake onto a plate.

“We can’t scheme on an empty stomach,” Dr. Drakken said. “Orange juice or lemonade?”

“Orange juice please,” Em said as she sat down.

“This is so much better than making breakfast for Shego,” Dr. Drakken poured a glass of orange juice for Em. “Just wait until she sees all the work we’ve done!”

Em decided not to mention that Shego and Nicky probably had their own fun. “I think I’ll use the pigs the next time Kim Possible comes and tries to foil my schemes,” Dr. Drakken handed the glass to Em. “Oh, I can’t wait to see her face!”

“Shouldn’t you plan your next idea for world domination?” Em suggested.

“Once again, you’re right!” Drakken took a bite of his pancakes. “So, got any ideas?”

Em was shocked. Dr. Drakken wanted an idea from her? She felt flattered. Not many people asked for her ideas. It had been a long time since someone wanted her input too. She sipped her juice, thinking. Did she have any ideas she could offer? What was something that hadn’t been done?

“Well, first, you’d probably want to make sure you could get rid of Kim,” Em began. “Like we could use teacup pigs. They’re cute, and girls like cute things.”

“Do they? I don’t know much about ladies,” Drakken blushed suddenly. “Don’t let Shego know I said that.”

“Your secret’s safe with me,” Em said. “Believe it or not, I’m not that great with guys. I only went to the bar last night because Nicky pushed me to go. Nicky is always trying to get me to go out and do more things.”

Em was surprised she was telling Drakken this. It seemed easy to talk to him. That would probably shock people seeing as how Dr. Drakken had a reputation for being a bit of a jerk. Yet despite what she knew about him, she was enjoying her time with him. Maybe it was because they both enjoyed science and knew what they were talking about. Either way, for the first time in a long time, Em was happy. It was nice to talk to someone else besides Nicky.

“Bah, no wonder Shego likes her so much,” Drakken said. “She’s always going on about how I need to go outside or saying how I need to get some sunlight because it’s what normal people do.”

Em chuckled. No wonder they were getting along so well; they were really similar.

“Anyways, enough about that,” Drakken took another bite of his pancakes. “Let’s finish up these pancakes, and then it’s back to the lab!”

Em finished up her pancakes. Once she was done, Drakken took them to the sink, and then they headed back to the lab. Em was happy to spend the rest of the day in the lab, coming up with plans and planning for world domination. This was one of the few times she was happy that Nicky had dragged her out of the house. She was going to have to thank her later. But for now, she would focus on finalizing the details on the laser pigs.

[fortunei]

[#3] [#4] hilda/lys, AU

a/n: experimental vampire AU with a world where vampire needs “official” donor.

hilda/lysithea

-

The first thing to do when a new vampire moved out to a new town, is applying for donor request at the Blood Bank.

The system of ‘Blood Bank’ and ‘donor for vampires’ might look absurd at first, knowing how vampires have been a food for many gruesome tales within generations with its somehow unquenchable blood thirst and yadda yadda for roman stuffs. Then again, the system allowed the vampire race to stay in harmony with humans, a mutualistic symbolism, if one may add. Frequent blood donor is proven to make body healthier, though, such frequency should only be done to a human that passed the criteria handed down by the Ministry of Health and Welfare.

“I see that you’ve applied for the donor request yesterday after your arrival,” Edelgard, sipping on her favorite Bergamot tea. Still dressed in her full black Fodlan’s Officer attire, she answered Lysithea’s quick summon for a middle-night tea time.

As much as vampire of this era can endure sunlight, they will find the night as unmentioned luxury. Perhaps it is in their genes, despite how the bodily trait changes and adapt to the coming era. Vampires easily mingle and become one with society, no longer feared and much worshiped. Some vampires even no longer has an affinity to garlic or holy water. Also, vampires can taste and ingest human food – though it would not convert as a better energy source than drinking blood.

“Your poster is already up on the main board of Blood Bank request. It shouldn’t take too long until a suitable donor is found.”

“Isn’t it kind of strange, don’t you think? With all the technologies around us, they still bothered to tuck the paper on a board. Beside the large, floating hologram board of information database, nonetheless!”

Lysithea quipped. She swiped another chocolate chip cookie from the top of the dessert tray. She checked on her phone on the table once, as the notification dot blinked furiously. Turned out, it is just another scam message, not an e-mail from the Blood Bank.

Blood Bank may hold the database of vampires available in national scope, but they could not pinpoint a new donor right away when someone moved out from one place to another. As long as the vampire has filled out the papers and posted the donor request at the Blood Bank, usually the Bank staffs will notify the vampire as quick as they can, or so they compromised.

“Well, forgive my city’s antics. It’s just my uncle who didn’t want to ditch that ancient board.” Edelgard bowed her head down slightly, though a smile played on her lips.

Actually, Edelgard is not exactly the owner of the city, it’s just that she hold a high rank on the city’s council. By Edelgard request, Lysithea is relocated there from Fodlan’s Branch Office of Derdriu to The Old Capital to collect up records of vampires as a Librarian. There can be any other Librarian beside her, but then Edelgard will always butter her up saying ‘You’ll do great here working alongside me’ or something close to the line.

“How’s your first days at The Old Capital, then?”

Lysithea found herself scrunching her forehead first before responding on Edelgard’s question.

“The Librarian here is quite strict, though I admire their thoughtfulness as I have yet to fit in their schedules. Well, I guess I should blame Lorenz for making everyone seems so carefree and wanted to get a free teatime with him ever-so-often.” Lysithea eyed Edelgard, who looked pleased at the good mention of her subordinates.

“It was nice working with them.”

When Edelgard took another delightful sip to her tea, this time Lysithea’s phone vibrated. The screen lighted up with an unsaved caller number on the top. Lysithea swiped the button to green, answered almost automatically.

“—we have confirmed your donor. The person will like to meet you two days from now at the Blood Bank around noon.”

Lysithea scrambled to seek her small planner rested beside the tea and cakes. She was waiting Edelgard earlier while scribbling her schedule of next week. Two days from now is Saturday, a weekend. She got a Librarian shift at the morning till noon. A perfect time.

“Yes, I can arrange the meeting with my donor. May I know of their identity?”

“We are sorry, but the needed documents are still on process. We can give you on the spot by the same day.”

“I see.”

Lysithea’s answer tinged with disappointment, but it cannot be helped in either way if the documents were not ready. Edelgard waited, hand supported her chin as Lysithea listened some more of the direction by the staff and finally the phone call ended.

“Well, I hope this new donor of yours won’t be as worse as your … former ones.” Edelgard mused.

Resting her back on the cafe's big chair, Lysithea sighed, despite the words being one kind of an encouragement rather than a sarcastic remark. “Hopefully so.”

x x x

Lysithea has always been a person who’s on the clock in any kind of appointment. While it couldn’t be helped that she missed the time when she is supposed to meet her supposed-to-be donor because of her own job, Lysithea couldn’t erase the dread welling up inside her.

One of the Librarian called out because of sudden sickness, so there’s only three Librarians doing the job in this fine Saturday. The Librarian’s main job is to collect ‘Archives’, an old history records to vampires and other supernatural creatures, rechecked its viability, cross-examined the sources, then putting out to the sea of database for next batch of checking until it can be available as a True Archive. Sometimes, the Librarian also took a job on translating excerpts for specific customers, since only Librarian can understand almost all old phonetic code across all races.

The technology and science might have surpassed everything in the civilization. Then again, there are many things that required human power and traditional ways.

After finishing her commissioned excerpt, Lysithea bowed the other two workers goodbye, re-stating that she is in hurry because she is going to meet her donor. The other two are happened to be human, by the way, not all Librarians should be a supernatural creature.

With a spring in her step, Lysithea took the road with most shades toward the Blood Bank, which is not exactly far from The Living Library of the Old Capital of Enbarr located. Before entering the Blood Bank, she pulled her slack pale violet cardigan close to her chest. She was sure to leave her ID card away at the workplace so no one will happen to scan or identify her by default.

Just as the name suggested, ‘Old Capital’ is a historic town with most of the historical tall brick buildings and ruins of fortress intact aside of two other big cities. Derdriu, the city where Lysithea originally been, have a lot of water-based tourism attraction aside with its skyscraper, also with popular virtual theme park infamous to all Fodlan. It is so pale in comparison.

Blood Bank is always crowded, 24/7, even more crowded than how a regular human hospital is in the dead of night. The counter clerks are mostly automatic answer machine, but there will always be vampire clerks on duty. Blood Bank is operated by vampires, though it is a mandatory for a normal human to know how it works as human is their main patron. Vampires only visit there occasionally for donor request and donor cancellation.

Unsure what to do when she arrived, Lysithea steered to one standing clerk beside the large floating hologram board.

“Excuse me, I’m the applicant number #4455484. I heard that I’d be meeting my donor today.”

“Ah, right. Please wait as I checked the registry,” the clerk accessed the menu with her smartphone. Lysithea waited as directed, clacking her soles on the parquet flooring, silently count on how long it will take for an answer.

“Your donor is waiting for you at the waiting lounge … and now, she is right behind you.”

“Behind m—“

Lysithea froze as she turned, greeted by a cheerful ‘Hi’ and an assault of hug. As though they are in friendly basis even though they haven’t ever met. She wrestled away from the surprise hug, flustered. She gave the human a strange look, but she didn’t flinch, just smile wide – a patronizing, welcoming smile.

This human has a straight pink hair donned in peak twintails. She wore something … fancy? Flashy trench coat top in bubblegum pink-ish color? An outdated vampire with no taste of fashion couldn’t describe it well. It’s like, something out of the shop’s aisles that just been there for less than a day and swiftly bought.

Overall, what is striking to Lysithea on the first impression is her scent. And her arm muscles. And her rack. Wait. She shouldn’t be thinking about the last one.

“Oh, gosh. I was about to ask the clerk of where the heck is the requester was. Been pacing the room all the time thinking whether I’ve been fooled~”

“Sorry, work got in the way.” Lysithea explained.

“I’m kidding, I’m kidding. I don’t mind the wait,” she winked. “So, when we can start?”

Lysithea blinked at the question, dumbfounded. “Huh?”

As if on a cue, the said human flashed her neck, Lysithea jaws dropped. She can see the nape that’s once concealed. She can see the pale, supple skin. She can- “What are you talking about? Isn’t it the sip time?”

No. Lysithea. Get yourself together! Her inner self screamed. “W—Wait. No. Not so fast. And no. We don’t drink d-d-directly from humans!”

“Huh, you don’t?” she tilted her head.

The snow-haired vampire felt the urge to slap her forehead, “Is, is this your first time to donor? Don’t you read the guide book first?” she shot another clueless, innocent face, and Lysithea gave up.

“We vampires only asked you of blood when necessary, which is at most once a month, given in that bag we provided. The bag will need to be sent to Blood Bank, where we can retrieve it.”

The human did seem to pay attention and she didn’t interrupt when Lysithea said her piece. Let's consider that she understand the terms of service, then.

“This meeting is just a mandatory.” Lysithea ended her short speech, a groan from the back of her throat should be audible enough to exemplify her annoyance.

“Eh? Why? Aren’t we supposed to get to know the vampires? It is there in the guide, if I remembered correctly.”

“How, how can you give me more headaches just in a span of a minute?” Lysithea scoffed. They sure have caused a scene, and she is sure that the clerk behind them is watching … quietly. She is not wrong, however. There is indeed a passage in there for the donor and recipient to be well-acquainted. Lysithea didn't think being so friendly with the human donor will get to anywhere, though.

“That’s … just how the things are.”

The human made a long hum, unknown of affirmation or of confusion. Those garnet eyes rolled momentarily before she clapped her hands together. A Eureka bested in her, maybe.

“We should just go for the unorthodox way, then!” Lysithea knotted her brows even more. “I know a good place down the road that you may like. We can chat over for lunch, I’m hungry!”

“Wait, I haven’t agreed—“

“Come on, vampire!”

"I haven't catch your name yet."

"It can wait! I don't want to miss the restaurant's special Risotto so chop chop!"

[Oh, how she wished for Edelgard to be there, watching her to perish in yet another unfortunate encounters.]

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[bettername2come]

The Nights You’ll Never Remember with the Friends You’ll Never Forget 2/?

http://archiveofourown.org/works/12299736/chapters/27986097

Waking up cold was never a good thing for Oliver. In the past it had meant no shelter on the island at best and a kidnapping at worst, but, god, he was freezing right now. And was he on the floor? It had been ten years since he’d had a headache like this and it occurred to him that he really didn’t miss his playboy days. He tried to stand only to have his feet fly out from under him and land flat on his back.

Because the floor was ice.

“Yeah, sorry about that,” a familiar voice called. “Apparently I had a little too much fun last night.”

Oliver opened his eyes to find Caitlin standing over him in full Killer Frost attire, complete with blonde hair. And above her, a breathtakingly beautiful ice ceiling that made Oliver think of cathedrals, not that he’d seen that many of them. “Where are we?” he asked.

“My apartment,” Caitlin said, pointing towards the kitchen, which looked completely normal. “And I think it’s safe to say I will not be getting my security deposit back.”

“How long have I been out?” Oliver asked, sitting up slowly rather than risk falling again.

“No idea,” Caitlin replied, making her way into the kitchen effortlessly over the ice despite the high-heeled boots she wore. “Woke up myself about five minutes ago, saw all this and you. Figured it probably wouldn’t be good for my recovering supervillain progress if I let the Green Arrow die of hypothermia in my living room, so I put on a pot of coffee.” She held up the pot. “Want some?”

“Sure,” Oliver said. He reached his hand out to steady himself as he rose to his feet and that was when he realized he was wearing the Green Arrow suit, right down to the gloves. “I’m wearing the suit.”

“Yes, I can see that,” Caitlin said with just a hint of mocking in her voice. “Probably a good thing, too. I’m guessing it’s better at maintaining core temperature than the suit you were wearing last night.”

“No, I mean I didn’t bring the suit to Central City,” he said as he moved slowly to the kitchen counter.

Caitlin passed him a steaming STAR Labs mug. “World’s fastest delivery boy, maybe?” she offered. “Add it to the list of questions.”

Oliver took a sip of the coffee. “Where’s your phone? We should probably call Barry.”

Caitlin pointed to a small, rectangular chunk of ice on the counter. “My guess is it rang and I froze it to shut it up.”

“Of course you did,” Oliver said.

“Hey, you’re lucky I didn’t freeze you.”

Oliver rolled his eyes and pulled up the hood, searching for his earpiece. To his relief, he found it. He pushed a pushed a button the side. “Overwatch, do you copy?”

It was Diggle’s voice that came on the line instead. “Man, what the hell is going on there? Lyla’s been working with ARGUS all night trying to keep a lid on this thing, especially since Supergirl’s involved, but every five minutes she has to pull some new video off of YouTube.”

“YouTube? I have no idea what happened last night. Last thing I remember was giving a toast, next thing I know I’m waking up in Killer Frost’s homemade ice castle.”

“See this is why I turned down the invite. Weird shit always happens when we visit them,” Diggle said. “You’re lucky you didn’t wake up next to a man-shark.”

“Vibe picked it up for you last night. Wild Dog said he popped into the bunker last night after he came back from patrol, called him ‘Casey Jones’ and took off with the suit.”

“He say when that was?”

“Around one a.m.”

“You know anything else that happened last night?” Oliver asked.

“Green Arrow stopped an ATM robbery last night with the help of an unknown woman I’m assuming was Supergirl. Breaches were opening up like crazy and there was a wave of superspeed-induced destruction last night. Lyla says there’s more to it, but she’s trying to compile all her information before she gives me the details. The phrase ‘national security’ was used a lot.”

“Let me know when you have more. Can you patch me through to Felicity? I don’t have my phone.”

A moment later, Felicity’s voice was sounding in his ear. “Oh, thank God, you’re alive. Have you heard from The Flash?”

“No, I’m with Killer Frost.”

Felicity sounded worried. “Killer Frost? And exactly how Killer is she right now?”

Oliver looked back at his companion, who was eyeing him now that she’d heard her nickname. “More frosty than killer. It’s fine. She’s in control. Where are you?”

“Stuck on a roof waiting for the slowest meta on earth.”

“Where?”

“Jitters.”

“Okay, I’ll come get you.”

“As sweet as that is Oliver, it’s nine o’clock in the morning and the Green Arrow parkouring his way through the wrong city might just turn some heads.”

Oliver turned back to Caitlin and gestured down at the Green Arrow suit. “You don’t happen to have anything else I could wear, do you?”

Oliver could have sworn Caitlin’s already pale skin went even whiter when she responded. “Yeah, I just, um. I need them back, okay?”

Oliver suddenly remembered just why Caitlin might have men’s clothing in his size and nodded. “Right. Of course.” He spoke to Felicity once more while Caitlin disappeared into her bedroom. “Just sit tight. I’ll be there as soon as I can.”

Caitlin came back carrying a sweater, jeans and sneakers. “These should work. Ronnie was about your size.”

“Thanks.” Oliver ducked into the bathroom to change and popped back out a moment later. “Are you gonna come with me?”

Caitlin gestured towards her hair with an icy hand. “No, I can’t seem to make this go away. It’s probably best if I stay in hiding until I have this all under control better. And I should probably grab a hair dryer and start doing something about all of this,” she said, waving her hand at her ice-encrusted living room.

Oliver nodded. “All right. I’ll call you as soon as I know something about the rest of Team Flash.” He hurried out the door, leaving Caitlin to clean up her mess.

Caitlin sighed. “Come hang out with the team, they said. It’ll be fun, they said. Liars.”

*

Oliver reached the door of CC Jitters at the same time Cisco and Iris did.

“Oh, man, is it good to see you,” Cisco said, clutching at Oliver’s arm. He turned back to Iris. “Okay, two down, four more to go. It’s a good start.”

“Three more to go, actually,” Oliver said. “I was at Caitlin’s. She’s fine, she’s just having some trouble with her powers.”

“Yeah, she’s not the only one. I can’t

“Yeah, a real great time for your powers to go down.”

“Iris, we will find the ring, but first we should probably find the groom,” Cisco said. “Don’t you think he might be a little more important in the grand scheme of things?”

“You lost the ring?” Oliver asked.

“You see?” Iris said. “He didn’t say ‘You lost Barry?’ He said ‘You lost the ring?’ Barry can find us himself. He knows where to look. The ring doesn’t have legs. It can’t just track us down. It might just be gone forever and it’s not like Barry has so many Allen family heirlooms to pass on.”

“Okay, Iris, breathe,” Oliver said. “We can find the ring we just have to retrace our steps from last night. And once we get Felicity, I’m sure she can hack into some security footage and give us a clue as to where we all went last night.”

“Hey, she is not the only one who can hack into things around here,” Cisco said.

Iris turned toward him, eyebrows raised. “Really? Because five minutes ago you were rambling about how you weren’t sure you could help the team anymore without your ‘semi-phenomenal, nearly cosmic powers’ at your disposal.”

“I had a moment of panic,” Cisco said, pulling open the door to Jitters. “You got the key to the roof?”

“Oh, you mean the key to the coffee shop I haven’t worked at in almost three years? Yeah, it’s right here in my jacket pocket. The symbol of Barry Allen’s undying love for me, however…”

“Okay, let’s just go get Felicity,” Oliver said, following his friends into Jitters. If anyone noticed the three of them making a beeline for the stairs to the roof they didn’t say anything. Then again, the civilians who ignored the odd behavior here and there tended to fare better in Central City.

Felicity latched onto Oliver as soon as the door opened. “Oh, boy am I glad to see you guys. Well, mostly see you. My vision’s a little on the blurry side this morning actually.”

“I think I know why,” Oliver said, reaching for her glasses. Gently, he tugged them off her face and studied them closer. “These are window glass. Kara’s.”

“God, did that woman keep any of her clothes on last night?” Iris asked, earning her puzzled looks from Felicity and Oliver. “I woke up in the Supergirl suit.”

“Ooh, how were the boots?” Felicity asked.

“Surprisingly comfortable. I think I have to have this Winn guy make me a pair. You think he does commissions?”

“Can we focus on the main plot here, people?” Cisco said. “We’ve got three superheroes still unaccounted for and only one clue as to why.” He handed the card they’d received with the champagne to Oliver.

“Music Meister?” Oliver read. “Cisco, you have got to stop coming up with these names.”

“Sure, I’ll just call everyone whose name I don’t know the unsub of the week. That won’t be confusing,” Cisco said. “Anyway, he’s not a totally bad guy. He actually did help Wally and got Barry and Iris back together last time, but that doesn’t mean he’s not a total dick!” Cisco yelled the last two words, earning him a strange look from his friends. “Oh, like he’s not listening now? If you were an insane magician wouldn’t you be?”

“Okay,” Felicity said. “Let’s get back to STAR Labs so we can find out just what happened last night.”

*

“All right, so let’s get bank statements to see where we were last night,” Felicity said as they walked into the Cortex. “Then I can use that to see which cameras we need to hack into.”

They all stopped short when they saw Joe West sitting in chair behind the main computers. “I could probably help you out with that. I’ve got a few dozen witness statements that could give you a place to start, but first, where the hell are Barry and Wally?”

[lianordin]

Playdate’s tiny handheld with a crank is big on charm

It’s a hilariously silly, yet strangely compelling proposition. So much so, that within 24 hours of its announcement on May 22nd, over 70,000 people signed up to be on the waitlist for Playdate (Today, there are over 110,000). In the weeks and months since then, more than 8,000 developers have also registered their interest in making content for the unique device.

Designed in collaboration with Teenage Engineering, a design group known mostly for its portable synthesizers, the Playdate had morphed from a Game & Watch homage into a unique gaming console that lived between worlds. “We didn’t want it to be too cool, but we didn’t want it to be too goofy,” said Cabel Sasser, Panic’s co-founder. The same goes for the device’s intriguing retro-yet-modern appeal. The Playdate’s black-and-white screen might scream old-school, but the device itself is outfitted with a modern ARM-compatible processor from STMicroelectronics, WiFi, Bluetooth, 2GB of flash storage, 16MB of RAM, and a rechargeable battery. The Playdate is definitely not just some Gameboy clone.

“There’s a real sweet spot in the middle of all of it that’s really challenging to calibrate,” Sasser said. This is especially the case for a relatively small company which has zero experience in making its own hardware. Sasser and his cohorts had to learn, through extensive trial and error, to figure all of it out for the better part of seven years, while running a software company at the same time.

Now, the company is finally ready to share it with the world. This weekend, at PAX West, the company will be showing off the Playdate to the public for the very first time. There will be many samples for people to play with. It will be, in essence, the product’s first real-world stress test. The team at Panic is, understandably, nervous about it.

“Yes, I’m a little scared,” joked Greg Maletic, Panic’s Director of Special Projects who’s also the project lead for Playdate. “Like gosh, is this going to last 32 hours of cranking? We’re definitely looking to make sure it does.”

But Maletic showed no qualms in letting me play around with a late prototype of the hardware when I visited Panic’s offices earlier this month. It’s smaller than I expected. At roughly 3-inches square, the Playdate has the feel of a novelty calculator that was barely larger than a stack of Post-it notes. It’s certainly smaller (and lighter! It’s only 86 grams) than any other gaming handheld I’ve ever held. To be honest, I wasn’t sure if that was a good thing.

Yet, despite the initial skepticism, a smile spread across my face the more I played around with it. It’s a charming little device, with its tiny 2.7-inch black and white display and its marigold yellow finish. Next to that aforementioned display is a tiny menu button and a speaker, while the USB-C port and a headphone jack are underneath. Sure, the Playdate is small, but after playing around with it for a while, I didn’t mind its size at all. The D-pad felt clicky enough, as did the A and B buttons on the right. It handled perfectly fine in my hands.

Of course, I was especially keen to try out the crank. By default, it comes in a closed position, with the metal part of the crank resting on the Playdate’s right side. To access it, I flipped it open, pulling the bottom part of the crank upwards 180 degrees to reveal a small rotating yellow handle. Then, I was free to rotate the crank backward or forward as much as I wanted, similar to how you would reel in or out a fishing rod. It was pretty fun to rotate through the Playdate’s menu simply by spinning the crank around.

As for how it feels, well, that depended on which prototype I was allowed to play with. In one model, it ground a little as I spun it around. In another, it felt a lot smoother. At one point while I was playing with one particular model, Maletic noticed that the crank continued to spin even after I let go of it, which he said should not happen. Obviously, the movement and motion of the crank still needs some finetuning.

But what surprised me the most about the Playdate was its black and white display. It’s not at all like the e-ink screen you’d find on your Kindle. Instead, it’s a Sharp Memory LCD, which is surprisingly crisp and clear, with a high pixel density that looks great even under bright sunlight. It’s a display that’s not used a lot in consumer electronics, with the exception of early Pebble watches. In a bit of trivia, Sasser said to me he heard from someone at Sharp that it’s also common in coffee makers in Japanese 7-Elevens.

Perhaps one of the reasons it’s rarely used is that it’s surprisingly expensive, partly because it’s not mass-produced in a way a lot of other electronic screens are. “It’s ludicrous, actually,” Sasser said. “We could’ve used an OLED screen, full color, and it would’ve been cheaper than this. I think that’s a hard thing for people to grasp.”

“But there’s also some really unique properties of the screen that we hope to take advantage of,” he continued. “One is that it can hold an image with very low power… we have dreams of when your Playdate is sleeping on your desk, it shows a clock or other cool things.” “If we’re going to try to sell this thing in a universe where, you know, we all have the latest gadgets with the high-res screens, it made sense for us to do something a little bit different,” Sasser said. “If it just felt like a different version of your phone, it wouldn’t be that interesting.”

The real test, of course, was to actually play a game on it. I played Crankin’s Time Travel Adventure, which was designed by Keita Takahashi, the man behind Katamari Damacy. As you might expect from Takahashi’s history, the game is, well, a little wacky.

The premise here is that you’re a character named Crankin, and you’re late to your first date with Crankette. You then have to run to meet her, but you inevitably end up late and she’s not too pleased. The game then pushes you to the next day and you start over, but now there are obstacles and enemies, such as flying butterflies, blocking your path, and you need to avoid them or you’ll fail your objective. The obstacles become more difficult with each subsequent level.

The only controller in this game is the Playdate’s crank, which is used to control the flow of time. Spin it forward, and time moves forward; spin it backward, and Crankin goes backward too. The trick, however, is that those aforementioned obstacles exist outside the flow of time, and you need to position Crankin in the right spot to avoid those enemies. If at some point Crankin bends down to smell flowers, for example, you need to make sure he does so exactly when bees fly overhead.

At first, it seems like a relatively easy game, but the difficulty ramps up considerably, with precision timing becoming increasingly important as time goes on. Let’s just say that I didn’t make it past level five. The only real complaint I had is that I thought the text on the screen was far too small to read, which Maletic admitted is an issue they’re currently working on.

Speaking of games, that’s another area that sets the Playdate apart. Included with the cost of the device ($149) is a season’s worth of games; one delivered every Monday for the duration of 12 weeks. Aside from Takahashi, Panic has signed up other indie designers such as Zach Gage and Shaun Inman to participate in its inaugural season. You’ll eventually be able to sideload other games too, but Panic liked the idea of you getting a new game every week as a surprise.

“For a long time, we were thinking it would be cool to play a season’s worth of black and white games, and then maybe at the end, you can like unscrew the back and there’s like a tiny color screen,” laughed Sasser, admitting in the end that it was a crazy idea. The season of games concept, however, was a lot more achievable.

Unfortunately, Panic isn’t ready to talk about battery life, as the Playdate isn’t close enough to production just yet. For now, it’s just hoping to show people how it looks and works, and events like PAX West are one way to do that. Right now, pre-orders are slated for later this year, with the product expected to ship in early 2020. If you’re interested in ordering one yourself, you can go to Playdate’s website to get on a mailing list so you’ll be one of the first to know when it’s for sale.

All products recommended by Engadget are selected by our editorial team, independent of our parent company. Some of our stories include affiliate links. If you buy something through one of these links, we may earn an affiliate commission.

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[batclevercandystudent]

Are you looking for an honest (and easy to understand) SiteGround hosting review?

Cool, I’m glad you’re here. This article is for you.

Here’s the thing …

After reading countless hosting reviews myself and searching for the fastest WordPress hosting I could find – I found SiteGround.

As of today, I have been using SiteGround for 5+ years. In that time, I’ve learned the pros AND cons – the ins and the outs.

So I decided to write a fluff-free SiteGround WordPress hosting review to share what I’ve learned.

I’m going to go in-depth, but at the same time keep the jargon out of it.

Whether you are looking to get a side hustle idea going, you’re starting a podcast, or you want to get an online business idea up and running, this review is exactly what you need to choose your website hosting.

Here’s what we are going to cover in this review.

SiteGround hosting reviewed

Another WordPress hosting review?

What is website hosting and why is it important?

My love and hate relationship with SiteGround

My recommendation (fully explained)

Final verdict: do I recommend SiteGround?

Another WordPress hosting review?

If you’ve been looking for a hosting company that you can trust your online business with, you’ll find the internet flooded with hundreds if not thousands of hosting reviews. Most of them are total BS.

Unfortunately, they’re mostly written to talk YOU into buying the hosting that offers THEM the highest commission.  

Do I get paid a small commission if you decide to purchase SiteGround hosting through a link on this page?

Yes, indeed.

Is that why I chose to write a review about SiteGround?

No. I’m writing this because I’ve been using SiteGround since 2014! And it’s the one that powers my entire online businesses today.

It’s also why I recommend SiteGround as the very first tool on my best online business tools page.

Here’s a screenshot of my bill for SiteGround’s GoGeek Hosting

Bottom line: I’ve used SiteGround long enough (5 years) and am aware of pretty much everything there is to know about it.

Also, I host this website with them. Further on in this article, I’ll show you the results of some speed tests I ran while writing this.

Affiliate Disclaimer: This review contains affiliate links that pay me a commission if you sign up through them. However this in no way affects my recommendation. I do not recommend SiteGround for everyone. (more on this later)

What is website hosting and why is it important?

If this is your first time building a website, you might not know what website hosting even is. While this can be intimidating, it doesn’t have to be. Once you understand the fundamental principles of how hosting works it’s quite simple.

For simplicity, here’s a quick breakdown.

A website is a bunch of different files connected to the internet. These files hold data and need a ‘space’ that’s secure and accessible to the internet.

This ‘space’ is what a hosting company offers.

As you can see, your website host is responsible for holding all the data of your online business.

This is why website hosting is super important to your success, and in no way should be neglected.

Here’s what happens when your hosting service sucks.

A host to a website is what a foundation is to a house. If it’s shaky, it’s all going to come tumbling down.

My love and hate relationship with SiteGround

Just like in every relationship you will have the good and the bad. The same is true with SiteGround.

While there’s a ton that I love about this hosting, there are also a few things I don’t.

Here’s a brief breakdown.

What I love about SiteGround web hosting

1) Well-trained customer service

Sure, if you’re an experienced website developer, you don’t need customer support. However, for the rest of us, it’s crucial.

When you’re new to the world of WordPress and websites, you’ll run into problems and when you do – having reliable support to get help from is a real lifesaver!

SiteGround’s customer support is excellent!  Stellar, in fact.

They invest in trained experts, not general support that acts like they understand your problem.

At times when I’ve had to communicate with them, I’ve found their customer reps to be extremely friendly, helpful, and patient.

You have multiple ways to reach them ranging from live chat, telephone to a ticket based system.

Note: They even tell you how many customers are ahead of you, and in most cases the wait time is minimal!

2) 99.99% uptime rating

Uptime is the number of hours your website is live and available on the internet. Downtime is the exact opposite.  

Ideally, you want 100% uptime because a downtime implies your website is not accessible to people trying to access it.

To a business, this can lead to lost traffic, leads, and sales — lost because you chose a crappy hosting company and your website is down.

Downtime can also have a negative impact on SEO, and this will prevent your website from getting to the first page of Google, and that’s the last thing you want.

Fortunately, SiteGround offers 99.99% uptime which in the web hosting industry is the gold standard.

Note: If you ever experience more than 0.1% downtime on a yearly basis SiteGround will compensate you credit in your next subscription.

Cool guarantee, bro. I’d rather have a site that doesn’t go down.

4) An extremely intuitive interface

Another benefit of SiteGround hosting is how it simplifies the complex process of managing a website server – right from setting up the website to creating a new one and later transferring it.

A glance of SiteGround’s interface consists of well-organized and highly descriptive icons that make it extremely easy to identify what’s what.

Their hosting is great for anyone new to websites, as you won’t have to spend a lot of time trying to figure things out.

Alright, on with the SiteGround reviews!

5) Free website migration (for GrowBig/GoGeek)

If you already host a website with another service, you will need to do a website transfer, which can be a difficult and complicated process.

If you don’t have the technical know-how, you’re going to run into problems.  Sure you can hire an expert to transfer it for you, but this comes with its own set of challenges.

Fortunately, SiteGround simplifies this process by handling the transfer for you – and for free!

What does ‘free’ really include?

SiteGround’s free website transfer lets you move everything from your old host – the website, FTP accounts, configurations, etc. – at no extra cost.  

Note: this service is free exclusively to GrowBig and GoGeek tiers.

Basically, you’re going to have everything transferred from your old host by an expert who knows what he’s doing – and that means no bugs, unforeseen issues, or downtime!

Okay, how does the website transfer work?

Step 1: Sign up with SiteGround

SIGN UP WITH SITEGROUND

The first step is to sign up with SiteGround. Remember, if you want to take advantage of the free website transfer,  you’ll have to pick either the GrowBig or the GoGeek plan.

Step 2: Request your website transfer

After you’ve signed up with SiteGround you have two ways to request a website transfer:

1) Request website transfer through the setup wizard:

I recommend this method if you haven’t set up an account with SiteGround.

All you have to do is select Transfer a website in SiteGround’s Account Setup Wizard and click Confirm.

Next, an inquiry will be generated to which SiteGround’s amazing support team will promptly respond.

2) Request website transfer through support section:

Alternatively, you can directly raise a support request by heading to your SiteGround User area and then to Support > Request Assistance From Our Team > Proceed to contact us here link.

Among the list of services select Advanced Technical Services and click the ‘Transfer Website’ option.

From the dropdown under Select Account choose the website you want to transfer. Next, choose the radio button  ‘I am transferring from another web host.’

Note: If your previous host is not running CPanel you will have to transfer email accounts, configurations, etc. manually.

Lastly,  fill in the all the required fields and click Submit. SiteGround’s support team will be notified about your inquiry and get back to you.

CLICK HERE TO TRANSFER YOUR WEBSITE

5) Cloudflare CDN with one-click activation

Setting up a  Content Delivery Network (CDN) can be complicated. However, with SiteGround you can activate your CDN with a single click.  

Cloudflare’s CDN significantly reduces page load time and is recommended by WordPress in their speed optimization Guide.

6) Great affiliate program (Up to $150 commission!)

Another thing worth mentioning is SiteGround’s affiliate program that offers generous payouts of up to $150 per referral.

Now while this may not be directly related to the hosting itself if you use it right  — you can pay for your entire subscription by simply recommending it to friends and family.

Pretty cool right?  Yeah, I thought so too.

Alright, you get it, I’m a HUGE fan of SiteGround.

But what do other people think of it? Let’s take a look.

SiteGround Reviews: What Do WordPress Users Think?

Lastly, I looked at what the community has to say about SiteGround. In my research, I found a popular WordPress hosting group on Facebook.

As you can see, it’s not just me. Many other WordPress enthusiasts recommend SiteGround as their #1 hosting solution.

This is just one of many other polls conducted where SiteGround takes that number one spot – and for a good reason!

What I don’t like about SiteGround

Now onto the bad stuff you won’t see in those “genuine” SiteGround hosting reviews.

1) Higher renewal prices

SiteGround may seem quite affordable at the beginning especially with all the services they offer.

However, when the time comes to renew your bill will be quite hefty. This is because their first subscription is offered at an introductory price!

The renewal price is much higher than their introductory price, which will come as a shock.

When you look at the hosting service you’re getting in return, you’ll find the cost well justified.

Here’s the thing, if your online business can’t afford to pay your hosting after a year, you’re doing something wrong.

2) Limited resources (and the hidden benefit)

While SiteGround’s features are amazing, they are not the most generous in sharing their resources.

The three plans offer a limited amount of bandwidth and storage, which could be troublesome if you have a massive site.

But remember, I run 5 websites and get 10s of 1000s of visitors a month, all on my single GoGeek account. With 100% uptime!

That said, here’s exactly what you’ll get with your SiteGround hosting account.

You’ll get a limited amount of space. This varies with the plan you sign up for:

10GB of storage for StartUp plan

20GB of storage for GrowBig plan

30GB of storage for GoGeek plan

But where’s the hidden benefit I mentioned?

This limit on storage per account is a blessing in disguise and benefits you and your websites.

How exactly?

Multiple users share a single server in a shared hosting plan. So if one user experiences a surge in traffic, he’ll end up using more resources from that server.

This means fewer resources for others in the same pool, and you don’t want that!

However, by setting a limit on the space per account SiteGround ensures everyone uses the server fairly – this ensures that no one ends up hogging more server space and resources.

This translates into a faster website for you!

With the pros and the cons behind us, let’s move this SiteGround hosting review onto a comparison of the three tiers.

Tier Comparison: StartUp vs. GrowBig vs. GoGeek

StartUp GrowBig GoGeek $3.95/mo $5.95/mo $11.95/mo Single Unlimited Unlimited 10GB 20GB 30GB 10,000 visits monthly 25,000 visits monthly 100,000 visits monthly Get Started Get Started Get Started

What is the best SiteGround tier?

The three tiers offered by SiteGround all have their limits (bandwidth and storage), but these limitations are not linear – making some SiteGround hosting tiers better than others!

Wait… what?!?

Let’s crunch a few numbers:

StartUp 10,000 monthly visits for $3.95 = 2,500 visitors per dollar spent

GrowBig 25,000 monthly visits for $5.95 = 4,200 visitors per dollar spent

GoGeek 100,000 monthly visits for $11.95 = 8,300 visitors per dollar spent

As you can see, you spend less by going for the supposedly more expensive tiers like GrowBig and GoGeek.

However, that doesn’t mean that I recommend everyone sign up for the GoGeek tier.

I do recommend GrowBig over StartUp.

For just $2 per month more (as compared to Startup), you can host multiple websites and accommodate an additional 15,000 visitors every month!

Before making a decision, ask yourself the following questions:

Do you want to host single or multiple websites?

How much traffic do your websites get?

Do you have a high requirement for resources?

First, realize your hosting needs, as that should make it clear as to whether the GrowBig or GoGeek plan is right for you.

Now, let’s take a look at my decision to use SiteGround’s GoGeek for my online business.

SiteGround’s GoGeek plan: reviewed and tested

Why did I get GoGeek in the first place?

When I was looking for hosting, I wanted something that could handle my high-traffic websites and at the same time wasn’t too expensive.

SiteGround GoGeek plan was the best option for me. It was just as fast as a dedicated hosting solution (and at the same time it didn’t empty my wallet.)

Siteground themselves refer to this plan as a semi-dedicated hosting. The servers are built with state-of-the-art infrastructure and shared amongst fewer users than the lower tiers.

Is GoGeek the fastest WordPress hosting?

We live in a world where we can get everything at our fingertips, and the same is the case with websites. That’s why I demand the fastest WordPress hosting I can find, and you should too.

If a visitor experiences slow loading websites, they will most likely go somewhere else, and this is the last thing you want.

Although SiteGround uses state-of-the-art servers that render high performance, I decided to validate it further by running a bunch of speed tests. The results were awesome.

Using GTmetrix, my website reported a loading time of only 2.3 seconds!

When I ran a speed test using Pingdom the loading speed reported was even less at 1.03 seconds.

Finally, Google’s own PageSpeed Insights gave my website a page speed score of 99 out of 100!

As you can see, the results are pretty darn good and well above the average page load time.

With testing complete, I think choosing SiteGround was a good choice for my websites.

Best reasons to get the GoGeek tier

Reason #1: Resources are shared amongst fewer users

Although GoGeek is technically a shared hosting plan, it’s shared amongst only a few users. This results in GoGeek users getting access to far more resources than the other (lower) tiers.

SiteGround claims GoGeek users use up to four times more server resources than lower tiers!

For this reason, SiteGround calls it a semi-dedicated hosting solution.

Reason #2: Priority support (under 10 minutes!)

Now, while SiteGround’s customer service is excellent regardless of the tier you choose, it gets even better with the GoGeek Plan and their dedicated priority support.

In the past, I’ve had technical issues resolved within minutes, all thanks to the priority support available with the GoGeek plan.

They say time is money, and SiteGround’s GoGeek plan is made to save you both!

Reason #3: State-of-the-art server infrastructure:

With GoGeek being a semi-dedicated hosting plan, it uses superior server architecture.

Their servers are similar to ones used by a dedicated host – think SSD powered storage, NGINX, and CDN – top-notch tech that will make your website load extremely fast. As we saw in my tests above.

Reason #4: One-click staging

People often refer to staging as a benefit that’s nice to have. I disagree. To me, it is an essential feature.

What is website staging?

Staging is a carbon copy of your website that you can create with a single click.

This copy of your website is where you can do work, fix errors, or install new plugins. Once you’re happy with your changes, you click one more button and all your changes get pushed to your live website!

This enables you to work on your website without the fear of breaking anything.

This feature is handy if you’d like to test new code, or plugins before implementing them onto the live version of your website.

Reason #5: Automated backup (with assisted restore)

SiteGround automagically performs daily backups and holds 30 copies of your site in storage. 30 copies!

With this kind of automated backup in place, you never have to worry about your website again. If it crashes, click restore!

So if you screw up and break your website, SiteGround will manually restore it for free!

Reason #6: E-commerce ready (plus PCI compliant with free SSL)

GoGeek servers are PCI compliant with free Let’s encrypt SSL. This makes it extremely easy to set up a safe and legal e-commerce website without hassle.

In 2019, every website should be secured and using an SSL certificate. In fact, Google is going to start penalizing sites that don’t use SSL.

To give you some background on SSL, here’s what Google says about securing your website.

I mention the free SSL certificates because there are hosting companies (cough, cough… GoDaddy … cough) who still charge their “valued customers” $50+ per year for SSL!

Final verdict: Do I recommend SiteGround?

We’ve reached the end of this SiteGround hosting review, and you probably are wondering if I recommend it?

Yes, absolutely.

In my opinion, if you’re serious about the security and speed of your online business, SiteGround is the best option you can find among WordPress hosting providers.

SiteGround is one of the few hosting providers recommended by WordPress, and that says a lot about their quality as a WordPress host.

Sure it can be a little bit expensive, but if you want excellent service, a blazingly fast website, and peace of mind with automatic backups, then SiteGround is the perfect choice for you.

Well then, you have to be ready to pay a bit more. But remember, you always get what you pay for.

Get Started Right Now and Get Up to 70% Off SiteGround

    The post SiteGround Hosting Review: A Comprehensive Look at the Pros and Cons appeared first on Hack the Entrepreneur.

via Hack the Entrepreneur

[mylifeasaserver]

The Gym

I’ve come to some decisions regarding my personal training. 

I will not be blogging about my clients, whether successful or otherwise. Mostly because I consider personal training just that - personal.

However, this will not stop me from mocking the living shit out of people who richly deserve it. 

Please remember when sending anonymous hate mail to click the “send anonymously” button. I’ve had a couple awkward moments because people forgot.

Anyway, today’s post is all about the gym, and the fucking idiots that come into it.

Around a month ago, I’m cleaning the bathrooms out when a guy approaches me and asks me if I work there because people frequently mop at places they don’t work at. I said yes, and he told me he needed some help.

Sure!

We go up to the front counter and he tells me he wants to cancel his membership. I’m not allowed to cancel memberships, only the manager is. I tell him as much and he informs me that he’s only in town for the day, he’s moved away, and he needs to cancel immediately. I call my manager.

She tells me to get his email address and she’ll handle it that way. I relay this information to him and he nods.

AS SOON AS I HANG UP he tells me he doesn’t have email. WHY THE BLOODY FUCK DIDN’T YOU TELL ME THAT WHILE I WAS ON THE PHONE!?!?!?

He then proceeds to tell me that whether we cancel or not it doesn’t matter because he got a lawyer to get out of a gym contract. He then tells me the lawyer has instructed the bank to not accept any more payment requests from us. Which is stupid because he’s under fucking contract, the ass.

Call my manager back. We check the info and fill out the cancellation form. He has one more payment to make per his fucking contract. I relay this to him and he loses his fucking mind and begins reaming me a shiny new asshole because obviously the guy mopping a bathroom is in charge and can change shit. Manager asks me to put him on the phone. He refuses because “they won’t work with me anyway.” Bitch, you aren’t asking us to work with you, you’re coming in making shitty demands thinking you’re hot shit. You ARE hot shit, but not the kind you think you are.

He then resumes bitching at me. With my manager on the phone I tell him that I’m not going to argue with him - he can either be a reasonable human again or he can get the hell out because I’m not dealing with it.

He reminds me of his lawyer and the letter the lawyer crafted. Barely able to contain my eye roll, I tell him that’s between his lawyer, the bank, and him. The collection company would be happy to deal with any of them if he doesn’t make his final payment. He storms out.

He paid without issue when we attempted the automatic draft this month. Of course he did. Jackass.

Then last night - which up until the end of the shift was a good night - this fuckwit comes waddling in 3 minutes to end of staffed hours to sign up for a membership. I get a commission on these, so I’m happy to help him. 

He asks about rates. I tell him how to get the very best rate (by putting a $100 down payment down, which saves him more than that long-term) and he agrees to it. I bolded that because it’s important to remember.

Anyway, we fill out the contract and part of that is a yearly gym improvement fee (standard shit at gyms.) He tells me he doesn’t agree to that. 

Then you can’t be a member. Sorry, have a good night.

He changes his mind and decides he’ll pay the yearly fee.

Then we get to the liability waiver (standard shit at gyms) and he tells me he doesn’t want to sign that part. 

Then you can’t be a member. Sorry, have a good night.

He changes his mind and decides he’ll sign.

Then we get to the cancellation policy (which again, is standard shit for gyms) and he tells me he doesn’t agree to it.

Then you can’t be a member. Sorry, have a good night. I’m annoyed with this idiot, so I want him to either agree and shut the fuck up and pay, or just shut the fuck up and leave. I’ve been off the clock for a half hour and I’m sick of his shit.

Then it comes time to pay. I tell him it’ll be $100. He tells me he doesn’t want to pay that, he just wants the rate that comes with it.

Visibly frustrated, I tell him the no down payment rate. I tell him he can either make the down payment and get the lower rate, make no down payment and pay a ridiculous monthly rate ($5 over the normal no down-payment rate because I’m an asshole and fuck that guy in particular) or he can leave and quit wasting my time. He tells me he wants the down payment rate. I again tell him it’s $100. He again tells me he doesn’t want to pay it.

Me: Then have a good night. We’re done here. Him: What?  Me: We’re getting nowhere and I don’t have all night to argue with you. If you’d like to sign up for a membership you’ll have to come back during staffed hours another day, preferably speaking to the manager who will tell you the same thing I did. Him: But I just want the lower rate but I don’t want to do a down payment. Me: Yeah that’s not how this works. Have a nice evening. Him: Can I work out tonight?  Me: No, you cannot. You aren’t a member and this is a members only facility after staffed hours.  Him: But I wanted to work out tonight. Me: And I wanted to go home on time tonight. We don’t always get what we want. I’m gonna have to ask you to leave. Him: I’m going to talk to your manager about your attitude and the level of service you gave me.  Me, while ripping up his contract and remembering I’m on my 2-week notice: You go right ahead. But for now, you have to leave.

And then he left. Told the manager about this human trash bin this morning. She’s not upset how I got rid of him and looks forward to his call.

This morning I also began training my replacement. She’s not gonna work out, mostly because I think she’s stupid.

First day of training. Refuses to clean the men’s room. Won’t even open the door. Wondering if she’s thinking somebody was in there I knocked on the door and opened it up. She won’t come in to clean it with me. Why? “Because I’m not cleaning up after men.”

What the hell. THIS IS THE FUCKING JOB. I tell her as much and she just says she’ll talk to the manager about it. You go ahead, dumbass. You go right ahead. 

**Author’s note** my boss at the gym is really cool to work for. I’ve not had any problems with her because I 1) Do my damn job and 2) Attempt to make members and potential members happy. That’s it. I could have told her that this refusal wasn’t going to go how she thinks it was, but the manager gets to have her fun too. Now back to your regularly scheduled idiocy, already in progress**

We do the women’s room without incident...until...it’s time to clean the sink.

We use a fairly powerful cleaner for the toilets/sinks. We wear gloves because that shit burns like hellfire when it touches the skin. My dumbass trainee, having finished cleaning the women’s toilet, removes her gloves. I tell her she’ll need the gloves for the sink because the cleaner burns the skin.

She tells me it doesn’t, then proceeds to spray the sink and begin wiping it out, getting cleaner on her hands in the process. Less than a minute later:

Her: WHY DO MY HANDS FEEL LIKE THEY’RE BURNING!?!?!??  Me: Because you got the cleaner on them that I told you burns. Put them under running water, dummy.

The rest of the morning went pretty OK I suppose. But then she tore ass out of there RIGHT AT THE TIME THE MANAGER WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THERE instead of actually waiting for her like we’re supposed to. Told the manager about her refusal to clean the men’s room (and her discovery that the cleaners burn...) and it doesn’t look like she’s gonna be with us for long. At least I’ll get to hear how that conversation goes. I’m getting too lazy for long posts like this. -J

[shutupadachi]

Hello friends.  

I'm here with some news that potentially has the ability to turn my entire life upside down and I need your support more than ever.

My name is Adachi, I’m a gay man, 23, I mostly do voice work and draw, and I suffer from depression, ADD, and a abusive home-life that has basically hindered me into a corner. This drive is hopefully an end to that. 

For those of you who don't know, I've been struggling to just stay alive for a few years now. I live with my parents, but essentially it's like living alone since there is literally zero support in this household. I am not fed or taken care of by them in the slightest. This wouldn't be so bad if I actually had my shit together, but I don't, and they’re 100% aware of this, but because my stepmom is literally satan, nothing changes. I have numerous mental disorders that I should probably be medicated for, but I'm not. I have been unable to obtain any amount of employment where I live and have been denied government assistance so I do not have a steady income. And I don't drive so that further adds to expenses like food and travel since I live in basically buttfuck nowhere so getting groceries is the most arduous journey there is.

For at least 10 years now, since my mother passed away, we've been having insurmountable amounts of issues with the Moroccan Embassy in the acquisition of an inheritance I am entitled to since my mother's passing. The entire reason of this being that while my mother was born in Morocco, I was born in America, therefore I'm not a Moroccan citizen and there's a whole bunch of legal hurdles we've been fighting through to get where we are now.

My Uncle has basically given up his entire life for the sake of his family in Morocco. Obviously I am not the only person entitled to the inheritance as several people on my mom's side of the family is on that will, but due to all the legal troubles, my uncle has essentially run himself into the ground and it's imperative to everyone that I do my part or else basically everyone is fucked over.

My share of the inheritance in question is a rather sizable amount of money (Something around $30,000 USD).

With this money, essentially all my immediate problems would be solved, and would buy me enough time to get my life back in order. I could finally get medical assistance, get certain surgeries I've been needing, get my own apartment, and even return to college.

All I have to do is get myself to New York (where I was born) to take care of some final steps with the Moroccan embassy, and all the required paperwork and legalities will be finally taken care of.  I’d only be in New York for 2-3 days at the most to get all of this done.

The only problem is that it needs to be done as soon as possible because my Uncle needs to be present as he has Power of Attorney. and when I say as soon as possible we're talking like... this week, or at the very latest, next week.

Unfortunately we don't have the money to actually get me to New York, as he's pretty much exhausted all he could helping my cousin. So it now falls onto me to somehow get the funds to not only get myself to New York, but get a hotel, money for food and transportation to and from the the embassy/airport , and to make sure I have my phone on so I'm not woefully lost and can be in contact with my uncle.

What's also unfortunate is the actual price to get all of this done is looking to be incredibly hefty. If I wanted to be 100% secure we'd have to raise anywhere between $700-900 according to the cheapest roundtrip flight and hotels

I know this is probably the most selfish thing I could ever ask, but I have to put my pride aside for two seconds to make this happen. 

I have been suffering with my abusive parents for years now, If I can actually ensure that I will have money to take care of myself in the future, finally get the help I need, finally stop feeling like a prisoner in my own home and make something of myself, this is the only chance I have.

I'm incredibly sick right now with the flu so I really can't do much of anything. I wanted to do like... streams or commissions to raise the money but even just writing this is taking a lot out of me.

I really don't know what to say or do because I know for a fact I can't pull that kind of money out of nowhere within the short time span that I have, but this is by-far the absolute most important thing I will ever do this year if we can make it happen so I heavily heavily implore you to reblog this, signal boost this. 

Share this with your friends. 

Do whatever you can. Please.

If you're able to donate and would like to do so, you can do so by visiting my Paypal.Me page, or the Ko-Fi button on my tumblr homepage. 

Both link back to my main paypal account and neither option requires a Paypal Account.

Paypal.Me: https://www.paypal.me/ShutUpAdachi Ko-Fi: https://ko-fi.com/A063L1M

The drive starts from today 2/12/2017, and the goal of $700-900 USD needs to be met by at the very latest 2/20/2017.

Thank you, thank you, thank you so much for reading this. This wasn’t easy for me to write honestly, so I hope everything came out okay and that I explained the situation well enough.

If any of you have any questions or concerns my inbox is always open.

Have a lovely day and thank you again.