#Missed Miscarriage Video | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

wangxianficfinder · 10 months ago

Text

I'm in the mood for...

Feb 3rd

~*~

1. Hello! For the next itmf if like to request fics where karma comes back to bite people who've been mean to WWX. Particularly anything where Madam Yu gets what she deserves for being so horrible!

Thank you for all you do!! @greywake

Waiting for Spring by thievinghippo (E, 130k, WangXian, Modern AU, MLB AU, Baseball AU, Mutual Pining, Pining while fucking, slight angst, Happy Ending)

🧡🔒Truth Will Out (when caught on video) - End_OTW_Racism! by KizuKatana (E, 151k, wangxian, WN & WWX & WQ, graphic depictions of violence, modern cultivation, canon divergence, YZY abuses WWX , caught on camera, partial core removal, WWX kicked out of Jiang sect, livestreamer WWX, meet ugly, dual cultivation, smut, no war, WIP)

🧡 All will be well when the day is done by abCEE (T, 76k, wangxian, time travel, canon divergence, fix it, not YZY friendly, not Jiang friendly, butterfly effect, no sunshot, madam lan lives, lan WWX)

Trials and Tribulations by TriviasFolly (M, 39k, wangxian, Modern, A/B/O, Emotional Hurt, Hurt, Abuse, Physical Abuse, Mental Abuse, Emotional/Psychological Abuse, hurt/tiny comfort, abusive YZY, Alpha LWJ, Omega WWX, experimental drug trial, Drug Trial, Bonding, Heats, flirting with the ooc line, Wangxian Get a Happy Ending, Miscarriage, Mpreg)

Starlight by KouriArashi (T, 38k, wangxian, Stardust Fusion, Action/Adventure, Developing Relationship, Mutual Pining, Murder, Ghosts, Magic, Child Abuse)

🔒If Wishes Were Donkeys by NightOwl1 (M, 101k, WIP, WangXian, SVSSS, Time Travel Fix-It, Case Fic, Mpreg, Fluff and Humor, Dysfunctional Jiāng Family, Bad Parent YZY, WangXian Get a Happy Ending, Period-Typical Homophobia, Crossdressing, LWJ and WWX Have a Breeding Kink, It’s All The System’s Fault, Post-Canon, Cloud Recesses Study Arc, Warning: JGS, Good Uncle LQR, LWJ and WWX Are LSZ’s Parents, Inappropriate Humor, Family Feels) for that epic YZY comeuppance 🤣

~*~

2. heyyy thanks for all your hard work! do you guys have any favourites or recommendations on wangxian from the cloud recesses arch?

you think you know something you don’t by nu_breed (E, 12k, wangxian, Masturbation, Semi-Public Sex, LWJ Loves Rabbits, First Time, Pining, First Time Blow Jobs, Cloud Recesses Study Arc, Missing Scenes, Cloud Recesses Shenanigans, Canon Divergence)

Secrets by handwritten (onefromanotherworld) (G, 1k, WangXian, Fluff, Cloud Recesses Study Arc, Getting Together, Smitten LWJ, Smitten WWX, courting gifts)

🔒 The Taste Of Cherry by chiyukimei (E, 6k, wangxian, WWX feels angry because he’s not being ravished, Cloud Recesses, Cherry Magic AU, Not JC Friendly, Lots of kissing, Cloud Recesses Study Arc, Soft LQR)

when you love somebody, bite your tongue by sophiahelix (E, 17k, wangxian, Cloud Recesses Study Arc, First Time, Just the Tip, Only One Bed, Horny Teenagers, Slight Canon Divergence, Sharing a Bed, horny teen LWJ and his confused and furious yearnings, LXC matchmakes but he probably didn’t intend all this, Fantasizing, Size Kink)

Certain foolish perfect hours by danegen (E, 39k, wangxian, underage, Cloud Recesses Study Arc, Canon Divergence, POV LWJ, Fluff, the yin iron plot stuff is actually still happening, but LXC is hiding the plot in his qiankun sleeves, Switching, LWJ is a good boy who deserves to have silly dates with his manic pixie boyfriend)

Losing My Mind by pupeez4eva (T, 6k, wangxian, JC & WWX, Humor, Protective JC, JC drinks a potion that lets him hear people's lustful thoughts, Teenage LWJ has a lot of feelings, Canon Divergence, Takes place when they are studying in Gusu)

Three changes. by orange_crushed (M, 18k, wangxian, fluff, hijinks & shenanigans, cloud recesses shenanigans, no war au, everyone lives au, romantic comedy, fade to black, friends to lovers, falling in love, harm to animals, non-graphic violence, sparring, developing friendships, hurt/comfort, first time)

🔒 The Hermit Agenda by wereworm (G, 11k, wangxian, LY & BSSR... lesbians, WWX aspires to be like them, also WWX calls BSSR his grandma bc it's not quite as funny otherwise, Humor, Cloud Recesses Study Arc, Getting Together, WWX is dtpjz (down to punch jin zixuan))

The Golden Cutsleeve by syrus_jones (E, 77k, WangXian, Crack Treated Seriously, Fluff and Crack, Humor, Aged-Up Character(s), WWX POV, WWX is a gremlin, Internally Screaming LWJ, No Sunshot Campaign, First Times, Accidental Sex, Masturbation, PWP, Porn with Feelings, WWX experimenting with things he shouldn't like always, Happy Ending, Porn With Plot)

~*~

3. Hi, I and a friend are In The Mood For fics where a.) Nie Huaisang uses war fans. I'll also take b.) competent Nie Huaisang where he gets to show that while he's not a terror on the battlefield like his dage he's not someone you want to mess with when he decides to get serious.

3A)

shades of grey spill from my veins (bleeding ink all over the page) by Reverie (cl410) (M, 58k, NMJ/LXC, wangxian, NHS/WN, POV NMJ, Canon Divergence, Joining the "Wei Wuxian raised by the Nie Sect" Club, Mentions of WWX's life on the streets, Hurt/Comfort, Accidental Sibling Acquisition, Single Dad NMJ, NHS & WWX Friendship, Fluff, Humor, Happy Ending, Everyone Lives AU, Protective NMJ, Sunshot Campaign, Some angst, Blood and Injury, Kidnapping, Protective Siblings, Found Family) also might fit 3B

The Trials and Tribulations of Growing Up Series by ArgentInferno (T, 175k, WangXian, NHS & WWX, Canon Divergence, Falling In Love, Fluff, Growing Up, Teenagers being awkward teenagers, gender feels, Trans LWJ, Trans Male Character, Nonbinary NHS, Cloud Recesses Study Arc, Experimental talismans cause trouble, Accidental Teleportation, Coming Out, Slow Burn, Mutual Pining, Magical Bond) It’s pretty slow burn but NHS is coprotagonist and it’s basically him coming to terms with his own strength and identity

3B)

the problem with authority by isabilightwood (M, 139k, WangXian, JYL/WQ, QS & JYL, Canon Divergence, Sacrifice Summon, only the summoner sticks around, slightly dark JYL, WQ lives, Slow Burn, Angst with a Happy Ending, Chronic Pain, Mild Sexual Content, Switch Wangxian, WWX has to be resurrected & LWJ find out before they can interact, but there's plenty of wangxian once they do, manipulative relationship) NHS is a secondary character but he works closely with the protags and is a formidable conspirator

~*~

4. Hello! For the next itmf can you rec some childhood friends/growing up together fics? I’m okay with any AU except a/b/o Thxxxx

down by the water by astrolesbian (E, 60k, WangXian, Slow Burn, Modern AU, Friends to Lovers, Surfer LWJ, Surfer WWX, Loneliness, complicated family relationships, mention of drowning, but no actual drowning is described, fluff and smut and angst, Reconciliation)

When we were small by deliciousblizzardshark (T, 7k, LXC & LQR & LWJ, Implied WangXian, Modern AU, Kid Fic, Good Uncle LQR, Neurodivergent LWJ, Baby LWJ, Baby WWX, Parenthood, Homophobia, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, POV LQR, Implied/Referenced Underage Sex, Grief/Mourning, Emotional Hurt/Comfort)

~*~

5. Hii Are there any fics where lwj actually finds wwx 's body after he dies? @karinasnowwwx

kintsugi | 金継ぎ| a transmutation by DrPanda99 (E, 1k, wangxian, graphic depictions of violence, major character death, Canon Divergence, dead bodies, evil spirits, Insanity, Unhappy Ending, Cannibalism, Explicit Gore, Dark LWJ, Post-First Siege of the Burial Mounds, LWJ Whump, Dead Dove: Do Not Eat, Grief/Mourning, Body Horror) Mind the tags

~*~

6. Do you know of any fics that feature LWJ dealing with disability or chronic pain after the discipline? Tysm for your time.

🔒 the map of days by everythingispoetry (M, 20k, WangXian, Canon Divergence, Angst, Hurt/Comfort, Permanent Injury, Recovery, Disability, Parenthood, Character Study, Thirteen Years of WWX’s Death)

Everything That Could Have Been by QueenXIV (T, 18k, wangxian, Angst, Hurt/Comfort, Disabled Character, Slow Burn, Emotional Hurt, Canon Divergence, Guilt, Hurt WWX, Hurt LWJ, Angst with a Happy Ending, Chronic Pain)

恩仇仙人- Enchou xianren (Immortal Avenger) by AshayaTReldai (E, 163k, WIP, WangXian, Angst, Mental Anguish, Pining, Revenge, Execution, internalinter-clan politics, Reincarnation, TGCF notions of ascension and deity, WWX/LWJ marriage, First Time, Post-LWJ whipping, Injury Recovery, Issues of justice, Torture, Not friendly to the Clans - they all get their comeuppance, Hurt/Comfort, Dark LWJ, novel compliant characterisation)

~*~

7. Are there any time loop fics where Lan Wangji *specifically* seeks to have sex with Wei Wuxian? Before and/or after they are in a relationship. @any-mouse

~*~

8. Hello!!!

For the next ITMF,

Any fic where JYL claims WWX as her kid? If possible adoption.

Thanks a lot for your work!

The Teapot Plot by ToxicAngel13 (M, 52k, wangxian, LXC/NMJ, Misunderstandings, Plots, protective Jiang siblings, Golden Core Reveal, Golden Core Transfer Fix-It, Idiots in Love, Damn Jins, Post-Sunshot Campaign, Pre-Burial Mounds, Potential for M-Preg, Fix-It, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Idiots Everywhere, LWJ 's Biting Kink, WangXian Get a Happy Ending, Protective LWJ, Protective WQ, JGS is his own warning, Protective JYL) JYL see WWX as her son but it’s not official

~*~

9. This is a INTMF ask. I'm looking for fics that have both WWX and LWJ able to be a happy family and raise Lan Shizui together. I don't want any dark stories and I would really prefer light angst/cannon angst if there has to be angst. Just to be clear though I'm looking for fics that focus on domestic wangxian with baby Shizui. IDK if a fic like this exists and idk how to search for it. But I viscerally want to read it and I don't have the chops to write it. <3 @omgnectarina

The Simplest Way Forward by harriet_vane (E, 70k, WangXian, Modern AU, Accidental baby acquisition, Kid fic, Green card marriage (but not really), Slow Burn, Endless Pining, Happy ending, [Podfic of] The Simplest Way Forward by knight_tracer)

🔒 Meet-Tired by SimpleSoupsandAppleTarts (T, 1.5M, WIP, WangXian, Modern AU, Single parent WWX, Meet-Tired, Fluff, Getting together, Slice of Life)

~*~

10. hii, this is for itmf I have 2 requests

A) marriage of convenience/ fake marriage in the modern era

B) I think I sent this before but accidentally categorized it as fic finder I'm sorry. mpreg fics in which they don't know the other is the father! / fics where one of them gets pregnant, and other doesn't know that they're the father. both pregxian and pregji r good

10A)

With No Particular Affection by Chrononautical (E, 92k, wangxian, Arranged Marriage, Modern, Kid Fic, Miscommunication, Family Drama, JFM & YZY's A+ Parenting, Canon typical consent during sex, canon typical violence revamped for a modern setting, canon typical behavior from villains and honestly I toned it down a lot, Good Uncle JC, Wedding Fluff, Wedding Night, Genius WWX, Street Kid WWX, Homelessness, Rich LWJ, Oblivious WWX, LWJ's canon typical communication skills, Cinnamon Roll WN, Implied/Referenced Suicide, WWX Has a Pregnancy Kink, WWX Has a Fear of Dogs, Curtain Fic, Domestic Fluff, Fluff and Angst)

A Marriage Story by DeviyudeThoolika (E, 38k, wangxian, NMJ/LXC, married wangxian, but there are some complications, because it’s marriage, Sex is complicated, Angst and Pining, Pining while fucking, Mature elements, Mutual Pining, HEA, Arranged Marriage, Sort Of, Misunderstandings, of epic proportions, One True Pairing, Good Sibling JC, Good Parent YZY, Fluff and Angst, in that order, Slow Burn, Angst with a Happy Ending, Everyone Loves WWX, Angst and Hurt/Comfort)

10B)

I have loved you for so long (even when I could only do you wrong) by h0peless_oblivion (E, 22k, wangxian, Modern, A/B/O, Mpreg, Friends With Benefits, Friends to Lovers, Getting Together, Unplanned Pregnancy, Alpha LWJ, Omega WWX, Fluff and Angst, Mutual Pining, Miscommunication, but its cleared up fairly quickly, Reconciliation, Good Uncle LQR, YZY is good, Unspecified Setting, Misunderstandings, Mating Bites, Pregnant WWX, A-Yuan is Wangxian's son, Eventual Smut, Knotting, Mating, Wangxian's canon breeding kink) looks like a WIP, but the end chapters are bonus scenes and the main story is complete

Impermanence, Transience, Permanence by Best Bepsy (BepsyGray) (E, 39k, wangxian, canon divergence, unplanned pregnancy, mpreg, gore, sunshot campaign, assumed miscarriage, medical procedures, childbirth, golden core reveal)

On The Way Home by vesna (mrsronweasley) (E, 59k, wangxian, Modern, Mpreg, Non-a/b/o mpreg, Unprotected Sex, Unexpected Pregnancy, Friends With Benefits, Getting Together, Pining while fucking)

🔒 Per aspera ad astra by Sanguis (E, 17k, wangxian, Fantasy, Implied Mpreg, Science Fiction/Fantasy, Space Opera, Secret Marriage, Kidnapping, Explicit Sex, Sexual Frustration, Dubious Anatomy, Male Lactation)

A Joy That’s Hard to Find by airinshaw (E, 26k, wangxian, Post-Canon, Getting Together, Mpreg, Misunderstandings, Minor Angst, Anal Sex, Fluff and Smut, Kissing)

Family Pictures (Or: “Mark Rothko is very, very dead, Wei Ying.”) by belleweather (M, 37k, WangXian, Kid Fic, Post Mpreg, Modern AU, Cindarella Story, Mistaken Identity, Mistaken for Being in a Relationship, art conservator lwj, idiot WWX, (he gets better slowly), shockingly little actual sex omg what happened to me, fake/mistaken cheating, no actual infidelity)

Blooming in white by luckymoonly (T, 38k, wangxian, JYL/JZX, MM/WQ, NMJ/LXC, NHS/JC, Canon Divergence, Mpreg, Getting Together, Fluff and Angst, Happy Ending, hidden pregnancy, Mutual Pining, Drama, Misunderstandings, Everyone Lives AU, Miscommunication, WWX and NHS are BFF, matchmaker NHS, Fix-It)

Little fall of rain by luckymoonly (M, 10k, wangxian, Canon Divergence, Fix-It, WWX didn't know he was pregnant, Mpreg, Mention of Birth, Family Feels, Nielan himbo rights, soft LQR, Misunderstandings, jealous LWJ, Fluff and Angst, Happy Ending, Smut, Breastfeeding, Thirsty Granny Wen, JGS being his usual self)

Lan Sizhui's forehead ribbon by I_have_a_fleet_of_ships (T, 1k, wangxian, WWX & LSZ, Married Wangxian, Established wangxian, LWJ & WWX Are LSZ's Parents, WWX is LSZ's Parent, Oblivious LWJ, Gūsū Lán Forehead Ribbon, Good Uncle LQR, Fluff, Light Angst, Post Mpreg, Post-Canon)

~*~

11. Hey for the next imtf I'd like to request the following

A) BDSM AUs were WY safewords in the middle of wangxian's play. LZ realises how far he has gone and is (preferably) shocked. Other reactions from LZ are also fine.

B) fics where FTM WY or LZ deals with having menstrual periods, how he navigates his emotions, how he copes with it etc. I'd be really thankful if you can find fics like this. I prefer wangxian fics but if there are fics like this for other pairings those are also welcome. @imstillthinkingaboutithmm

11A)

🔒 oh, these are real things by typefortydeductions (E, 15k, wangxian, Modern, The Porn Is the Plot, Kink Negotiation, Under-negotiated Kink, Safewording, Light BDSM, Dom/sub, Fisting, Sex Crying, lil bit of gender stuff, Panic Attacks, Top Drop) lwj isn't shocked, it's a bit of a softer scene

11B)

The Housewife's Guide to Causing Chaos by dvasva (M, 127k, wangxian, QS & WWX, NHS & WWX, LSZ & WWX, LSZ & LWJ, WIP, Canon-Typical Violence, Functionally Trans Character, Mild Sexual Content, Domestic Fluff, Love Confessions, Transphobia, Good Parents LWJ & WWX, Pining, WWX is a Tease, Grief/Mourning, Body Dysphoria, Fake Marriage, Canonical Character Death, Misunderstandings, Doting LWJ, Canon Divergence, Arranged Marriage, lying to your family about your demonic boyfriend taking over your wifes body for fun and pleasure, WWX is not in MXY's body, Misgendering, Mild Angst, Assumptions, Comedic Elements, non-sexual nudity, Blood, Discussion of Various Bodily Functions, Cloud Recesses Shenanigans, 4 years of mourning instead of 13, The Juniors start a conspiracy board, Méishān Yú Sect, POV Multiple, Corporal Punishment, Trans WWX, Emotional/Psychological Abuse, pregnancy mention, Warning: Jīn Guāngshàn, Sexual Harassment, Threats) This might work? Instead of Mo Xuanyu, a woman sacrifices her body for wwx, and he has to adapt to having a female body, including menstruation

~*~

12. Hi mods! I was wondering if there is a post canon fic about Lan Sizhui unpacking the trauma of being the last living member of his family. Maybe with him talking to Wen Ning about what happened during the blood pool scene? Thank you in advance @rubberduckieassassin

this blood in my mouth by ShanaStoryteller (Not Rated, 3k, WangXian, LSZ & WWX & LWJ, Post-Canon, POV LXC)

The Past Is An Avalanche Beneath Your Feet by John_lzhc (T, 6k, LSZ & WWX, Post-Canon, Hurt/Comfort, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Family Feels, Families of Choice, PTSD, Flashbacks, Grief/Mourning, best boy LSZ, Hopeful Ending, canon typical references to genocide)

~*~

13. Hi! Tus is for ITMF. I want canon diverge where wwx didnt die. I dont know how to explain it. Like instead going to burial mound he and wen remnants goes somewhere. Or he and wen remnants secluded themself in burial mound. Or wwx rescued wen remnants in quiet manner. Or he goes to gusu with lwj. And all those choice didnt result him died for 13/16 years. I accept anything including he run away with a-yuan after wen remnants dies. Thank you! @idontknowwhattowriteforusername

❤️ kick at the darkness ‘til it bleeds daylight by AlfAlfAlfAlfAlf, tardigradeschool (T, 75k, WangXian, Hurt/Comfort, Everyone Lives/Nobody Dies, Eventual Happy Ending, Getting Together, Burial Mounds Settlement Days, Inspired by The Parent Trap (1998), Kid Fic, teen shenanigans, two a-yuans, Fluff and Angst, [Podfic] kick at the darkness ‘til it bleeds daylight by contributor-sky (deepestbluesky), esbielle was also here (esbielle), glittercracker, GodOfLaundryBaskets, jellyfishfire, kisahawklin, Koontyme, Rionaa, semperfiona))

wide enough and wild by impossibletruths (E, 64k, WangXian, Canon Divergence, Getting Together, Canonical Accidental Baby Acquisition, Families of Choice, References to Depression, Happy Ending, I Swear To God I’m Giving Them A Happy Ending, Overzealous Use Of Imagery, Everyone Lives/Nobody Dies, Well Except WN But He Was Already Dead So, Fix-It of Sorts, podfic by semperfiona_podfic (semperfiona))

Just as the Snow Melts by draechaeli (T, 66k, wangxian, JYL/JZX, SL/XXC, Everybody Lives AU, Canon Divergence)

To Mourn the Young Man by Iamnotawriter (T, 57k, wangxian, Canon Divergence, Angst with a Happy Ending, Canon-Typical Violence, BAMF WWX, Most people live, but not the bad guys, Burial Mounds Settlement Days, Hurt/Comfort, Golden Core Reveal)

we’re starting at the end by Miss_Enthusiasimal (M, 92k, WangXian, JC & WWX, Time Travel, Canon Divergence, Implied/Referenced Suicide, Golden Core Reveal, Burial Mounds, Hurt/Comfort, Angst, Starvation, emaciation, Cannibalism, Self-Harm, Amputation, Suicidal Thoughts, Sunshot Campaign, let JZX and WWX be friends club) if time-travel is okay

Unbreakable Heaven, Luminous Earth by carolyncaves (M, 96k, wangxian, Canon Divergence, Secret Identity, almost to the point of uncomfortable identity theft, Sharing a Bed, Literal Sleeping Together, Mutual Pining, Getting Together, Suicidal Thoughts, Blood and Injury, Hurt/Comfort, Caretaking, Sexual Content, Domestic Fluff, Angst with a Happy Ending, Power Imbalancemainly between WWX and JGY in an entirely nonsexual manner, this isn't really a kid fic but the kids are there, as are some yunmeng sibling feelings, JYL lives, Not Everyone Dies AU, some COVID parallels, this is not a quarantine fic, but thematically WWX deals w things like face-covering for safety and loss of control, also assume all canon warnings, this AU is gentler than canon but isn't a complete fix-it)

Can almost hold the shape by Rookseeksraven (E, 81k, WangXian, Canon Divergence, Burial Mounds Settlement Days, Post-Bloodbath of Nightless City, Somebody Lives/Not Everyone Dies, Golden Core Reveal, Grief/Mourning, Blood and Injury, Major Character Injury, Kidnapping, Rescue, Canonical grief stricken JC, No JC & WWX Reconciliation, Dubious Consent, Dual Cultivation, LWJ Has a Biting Kink, Rimming, Anal Sex, Hand Jobs, Getting Together, Alcohol, YLLZ WWX, Angst with a Happy Ending, Talismans and Arrays, Fuck Or Die, kind of, Rape/Non-con Elements, The resentful energy cannot technically consent for WWX)

~*~

14. Hello! I'm in the mood for explorations of bad Lan Xichen, or Lan Xichen bashing. It's common to see JC bashing, but really, poor old JC was screwed by his family and lied to, I'd be enraged too. But how could LXC be THAT stupid? What happened to trust but verify? He's either truly truly stupid, or completely complicit. Maybe he loved being JGY's special one so much? I dunno. But no-one is that stupid. And the Lan sect has so much to answer for, with its cruelty and hypocrisy (they were at Qiongqi path as guards) (what, they didn't report to their sect leader? Really?). I understand angry old fart LQR a lot better, he doesn't care about anything but the sect and has no connections outside the sect, I can forgive him. But LXC just ignores his other sworn brother and his own little brother far too much. He is equal to if not more of a villain than JGY, who's just fighting for a place in an unjust world. LXC had that place and does not uphold the responsibility it gives him. Eat the rich, man, they suck. Why, yes I DO feel passionately about this, why do you ask? @lurkdot

break by justdoityoufucker (T, 3k, WangXian, Canon Divergence, LXC Critical, JC Critical, Canonical Character Death, Guānyīn Temple Scene, BAMF WN, Protective WN)

🔒 Bitter Recompense by mondengel (M, 1k, LXC & LWJ, Angst)

aftereffect by justdoityoufucker (orphan_account) (T, 3k, wangxian, LXC & LQR & LWJ, LXC & LWJ, Canon Divergence, Post-Canon, Cultivation Sect Politics, LXC Critical, Gūsū Lán Sect, JGY Survives, (and then dies))

🔒 Wasting Time, Asking Why by mondengel (Not rated, 1k, LXC & LWJ, LXC & JGY, wangxian, Angst, Character Study)

🔒 Ready for Blood on the Ground by mondengel (T, 1k, gen)

🔒💖 When has silence saved anyone? by Vrishchika (T, 6k, wangxian, LSZ & WWX & LWJ, post-canon, LXC critical, family feels, angry LWJ & LSZ, LXC gets scolded)

🔒 I Will Find You Again by Hidenka_chan101 (M, 19k, wangxian, LSZ & LWJ, LSZ & WWX, LSZ & LJY, Mentions of Death, Angst, Crying, LWJ is a Petty Bitch, Typical LQR, Unsupportive LXC, Gūsū Lán Juniors Dynamics, Canon Divergence, WangXian get their happy ending, Fever, Tender loving care, some smut, WN gets to flex his healer knowledge, Hurt/Comfort)

🔒 To Reveal The Truth by HeloSoph (M, 11k, LWJ & NHS, LWJ & WWX, LSZ & LWJ & WWX, SL/XXC, wangxian, Sad LWJ, Hurt LWj, Rogue Cultivator LWJ, Hurt LXC, Cultivation world Bashing, LQR Bashing, Scheming NHS, Pining LWJ, SL/XXC Get a Happy Ending, SL/XXC Adopt Ā-Qìng, Truth is revealed, Suicide, LWJ Has Feelings, LWJ wants to die until he doesn't want to anymore, Chief Cultivator LWJ, Sassy LWJ, Petty LWJ, Angst and Feels, Hopeful Ending, LWJ is a Little Shit, POV LWJ, JC Bashing, NMJ Bashing, Not Everyone Dies AU, Suicide Attempt, Implied/Referenced Suicide)

they might want to check out the gusu lan bashing tag on ao3

Search lan xichen critical tag on ao3

do they want LXC bashing in canon only, or in modern AUs

~*~

15. Hi! I’m in the mood for jealous wangxian! I love all the jealousy fics but is there one where lwj secretly seeks help in order to court/confess to wwx and ofc wwx thinks lwj is in love with someone else? Canon setting or modern, married, roommates.. anything is fine! I’ve read a bunch but I’ll read them again! @starfishderby

~*~

16. IITMF Ask, I'm in the mood for good fics focused on Wangxian or Wangxian + duckling juniors night hunting. It doesn't have to be all that they do, but I'd like for it to be a large focus of the fic. I feel like I've seen one where they had multiple night hunts as a focus in the fic, but I don't think I actually ended up reading it so idk more about it, but recs where they do multiple hunts would be fun too.

爱不释手; never let me go by yiqie (E, 68k, wangxian, Case Fic, Blood and Injury, Demons, Body Horror, Mystery, The intrinsic horniness of wound tending, Yearning 2: The Electric Boogaloo, podfic by argentumlupine)

build me no shrines by occultings (microcomets) (M, 54k, wangxian, Slow Burn, Mutual Pining, First Time, Getting Together, Confessions, Sharing a Bed, Hair Washing, Sentient Burial Mounds, Case Fic, Post-Canon, Hurt/Comfort, Whump, Light Angst, Flashbacks, mild body horror, foot washing, Happy Ending, Non-Sexual Intimacy..., then sexual intimacy, playing fast and loose with mdzs lore, WWX learning to accept intimacy without deflection, occasional LWJ humor agenda, Podfic by flamingwell Available)

~*~

17. fics where lan wangji turns into a child and wwx and everyone has to take care of him!!

Tiny Little Boy by Dyapaya (G, 2k, hints of wangxian, Age Regression/De-Aging, Kid Fic, Cute, Fluff, LWJ bites people, Everyone Lives AU)

A Child's Wish by Hauntcats (Not rated, 13k, wangxian, WWX & Wen remnants, Celestial meddling, Not JC Friendly, Fix-It, Canon Divergence, Angst with a Happy Ending, Everyone gets what they deserve, Age Regression/De-Aging, Child LWJ)

Before the Morning Sun by Vamillepudding (G, 12k, wangxian, JC & LWJ, post-canon, de-aging, protective JC, light angst, implied/referenced child abuse, kid LWJ)

🔒 A new found family by MusicMe_tc (G, 12k, wangxian, Canon Divergence, Cloud Recesses Study Arc, Teenage Wangxian, Cursed LWJ, Soft LQR, Supportive LXC, Fluff, Feelings Realization, First Kiss, Love Confessions, Getting Together, Happy Ending)

A Little Happiness by Suspicious_Popsicle (M, 20k, wangxian, Post-Canon, Age Regression/De-Aging, if you’re looking at that last tag + the rating don’t worry, the rating is only for the very end)

i carry your heart with me by lulu_kitty (G, 12k, WangXian, Age Regression/De-Aging, Established Relationship, Post-Canon, Fluff and Angst, some knives but honestly this is mostly fluff, possessive littol a-zhan, wei ying may ONLY give attention to a-zhan, no one else it’s the rule)

~*~

If you didn’t get an answer to your ask here, don’t forget to make use of @mdzs-kinkmeme and MDZS KINK MEME on Dreamwidth. Authors actually do use them for ideas. You may get what you order!***Your prompt doesn’t have to be kink! Fluff, crack, whatever - it’s all good!***

#wangxian #mdzs #wangxian fic recs #i'm in the mood for a fic #the untamed #wangxian fic search #wangxianficfinder #long post

197 notes · View notes

writeandsurvive · 7 months ago

Text

I'm sorry for this, it's not good. But somehow, I managed to get something done, so I gotta share. Kinda inspired by NCIS S21E08 'Heartless'.

Warnings: age gap, married couple, established relationship, talks of miscarriage, giving birth, jealousy, womanizer!Alden, daddy!Alden, very slight smut

Mine ~ Alden Parker

When you started to date Alden Parker, as he was still an FBI agent, you never considered becoming friends with his coworkers. Especially, after meeting a few of them he would consider his friends and they turned out to be judgmental towards the age gap in your relationship. Not that you wanted to befriend his coworkers anyways, you just agreed to meet them cause he asked.

However, it changed when Alden joined NCIS. He immediately started to tell you about his new team, and you could he was fond of them all, including his boss - which was extremely surprising since he never got along with his FBI boss, Sweeney. You quickly knew it would be different this time. It did take him a while before introducing you to them, but once it happened, you all hit it off. The guys were quite impressed with Alden wedlocking a woman fairly younger than him, while the girls, even though they wouldn't go for someone older, they agreed that Alden Parker had a little something. "It's the freaking hair!" Jess joked.

Before you knew it, this new team felt like family. You'd all hang out together - dinners, games night - and sometimes you'd have girls night with Jess and Kasie. You even babysit McGee's twins and/or Victoria a few times. Which, as much as you loved it, did hurt a little since it would remind you of the struggles you and Alden had been having to have a baby. Between not getting pregnant for months and the miscarriages, you had started to think that it wouldn't happen the natural way for you. Also, Alden really felt like he was getting too old to have a kid, no matter how badly he wanted one with you.

When you reached your third trimester, Alden felt pretty confident that this time everything was going to be alright while you couldn't shut that little voice in your head saying that something bad would happen like the other times. But finally, the nurse put your crying new born in your arms, and everything felt right. "You did so good, my love." Alden cried, kissing your forehead and looking down at his son. "Our miracle baby. He's perfect."

You didn't want the nurse to take him away from you but you knew they needed to check him up and clean him. "Do you guys have a name for this little guy?" Another nurse asked. You and Alden looked at each other for a second. "Axel Roman Parker." He said, proudly.

Obviously, the team was in the waiting room. Alden had been at work when you called him to tell him that your water broke. Nick had been the one driving to the hospital, "Torres, I'd like to meet my son before I die, thank you very much!" Alden shouted, holding onto the handle above the window.

"Don't worry, dad." Nick grinned.

Your husband went to see them to let them know that mom and baby boy were alright. "Is it okay if you guys only meet him in a few days?"

"Of course, no rush!"

"Send us pictures though! Please?"

Alden didn't want to go back to work after his paternity leave. He didn't want to leave his little family. The night before his first day back, he actually felt depressed. "He's changing so much so fast, I'm gonna miss so much." He sadly said, stroking his son's back, who was peaceful sleeping on daddy's chest.

"I'll take as many pics and videos I can." You kissed your husband's cheek. "And Vance said you don't have to put many hours like you usually do."

"I know, but still."

You noticed the tears forming in his eyes and it broke your heart a little. You didn't want him to go back to work either. You wish he could push his leave a little more, but he had pushed it as much as possible already - director Vance had been amazing and made it easy. You wrapped your arm around Alden's neck, carefully so you wouldn't wake up Axel. He nuzzled your neck as you gently stroked his hair. "He loves you and perfectly knows who daddy is. It won't change in a few hours, I promise."

"I honestly thought it would never happen for me, you know? Before you and then the issues we had, I thought-- I just wasn't meant to be a dad. But now he's here, and I just don't want to be away from him."

"Aw, baby." You cried with him. "I wish there was a way for you to stay."

The next day, Alden arrived late at work as he struggled to let go of Axel. Jimmy and Tim, who knew how it felt, were very helpful throughout the following week.

It took you months to separate from Axel, just for a few hours. And even more time to go out for a girls night while Alden had a boys night with his little man.

"I almost forgot how champagne tasted." You smiled, having your first drink in over a year.

"Good thing we took a whole bottle then!"

The conversation between you, Jess, Kasie and Delilah went on as it usually does when you four get together. Jess talked about her relationship with Jimmy, and her dad. Kasie confessed about her new crush - you and the girls immediately hyped her. Delilah talked about her job, and the twins newest obsessions. And you obviously talked about Axel and your husband.

"By the way, how's Alden's neck?" Jess asked.

"Perfect! Did Nick really fix him with a bear hug?"

"He did! It was pretty funny!" Jess laughed, remembering the scene from a couple of days ago. "Doctor Logan probably thought we were crazy."

"I can't believe that my husband im-so-scared-of-needles-hold-me-hand worked on a heart surgery." You laughed, trying to imagine the scene.

"Mr I fainted when my wife got her epidural." Kasie teased.

"In his defense, it's a pretty big needle for this." Delilah said. "Thank god he didn't faint during the surgery though." She joked.

"Well, if he did, I'm sure Doctor Logan would've enjoyed giving him mouth to mouth."

You, Kasie and Delilah turned like one person to look at Jessica. "What?" She asked, confused. Then she looked at you. "He didn't tell you?"

"Tell me what?"

"Um..."

"Jessica Knight."

"The doc clearly developed a crush on him. She practically flirted with him in front of me."

You let out a deep breath. "Did he flirt back?"

"Not really, he was genuinely confused."

"Did he not learn his lesson with the senator?" Kasie chimed in.

You finished your drink in one swallow, remembering when he gave you a piece of paper with a number on it. "Whose number is it?"

"A senator." He had said.

"Alright and what am I supposed to do with it?"

"You, nothing. But I guess she wanted me to call when she gave it to me." The jerk was smiling while you used to candle flame to burn the paper.

"I don't care about the 'it's safer for you if people don't know I'm married' crap, I'm gonna glue the wedding band to his damn finger."

The girls laughed, always enjoying how easily you get jealous when there's a woman around Alden. When you had learned that some women in the office kinda liked your man, you showed up at the NCIS headquarters for the first time and asked for a tour. When his ex wife got involved in a case, you were feeling anxious, even though she knew about you from the beginning, thanks to Alden's parents. The worst actually was when he saw his first love for the first time in over thirty years. He had admitted that it felt very strange, and maybe if he had been single, he'd have pursued something, but he was married to you, and deeply in love with you and he'd be crazy to let you go. It was one of those rare moments when you and Alden were struggling, and fought a little more often. But he never gave you a reason to be jealous or suspicious, it was just a part of your personality. And to be fair, he was such a womanizer, you couldn't help but to think that any other woman would be better than you.

You got home slightly drunk, which Alden expected. He was happy that you finally let yourself have some fun away from him and Axel. Barely sleeping on the couch, he immediately got up when he heard you come in. "Hey! What are you doing up? Is Axel awake?" You asked, struggling to take your shoes off. Alden kneeled down to help you.

"He did wake up an hour ago for his bottle but he's fast asleep now."

"Good, good." You leaned a little and ran your hand through his hair. "I'm so so so so happy you're my baby daddy."

Chuckling softly, he got back up and wrapped his arms around your waist. "Thank you for choosing me. You made all my dreams come true." You hugged there for a moment, just enjoying each other. "Let's go to bed, baby mama." He started to carry you, grabbing the baby monitor on the way.

"No sleeping, gimme another baby." He laughed but quickly got cut off as you smashed your mouth on his. He managed to get to the bedroom while you practically assaulting him, holding his face firmly and french kissing him. Of course his body was responding positively. As he put you down on the bed, you dragged him along. He was on top of you and you started to make out. It was long until you felt his erected cock between your legs. You reached for it, forcing your hands under his shorts. "Fuck, baby." He moaned.

"Yes, fuck me daddy."

And he did just that. ~

After freshening up in the bathroom, Alden found you in the nursery, looking over Axel. He hugged you from behind. "Do you really want another?" He asked, cautiously.

"Not necessarily," you admitted. "I mean, if it happens, I'll be very happy but I can't go through the struggles again."

"Okay. We've got him and he's absolutely perfect." You stroked your son's hair one more time before turning around to face your husband.

"He really is." You grabbed his left hand and stared at it for a moment. "This wedding band stays on, Alden. 24/7."

"But--"

"No but. I'm done with women flirting with you cause they assume you're single. You're taken, you're fucking mine. You keep the damn ring on."

Alden stayed silent for a moment. "Jess told you about Doctor Logan, didn't she?" You only looked at him, arms crossed. "Fine, I won't take off my ring ever again." He reached for your wrists and made you uncrossed your arms as he hated when you strike that pose on purpose. He brought you as close as possible to him. "Are you ever going to accept the fact that you're the love of my life? That I rather be single for the rest of my life than with someone else than you? That losing you and now Axel, would absolutely destroy me?"

All you could do was kiss him, but he did saw the tears falling down your cheeks.

#ncis #alden parker #alden parker imagine #alden parker fanfic #alden parker x reader #ncis fanfiction #ncis imagine #ncis reader insert #alden parker x you #ncis x you #ncis x reader insert #ncis x reader

93 notes · View notes

jessicaloons · 8 months ago

Text

Chapter 40:

And some things you just can’t speak about…

Masterlist - Previous - Next

TW: Miscarriage

Charles POV:

I felt my phone vibrate for the third time, while trying to focus on the questions, wondering what was going on. As soon as Tom Clarkson ended the press conference I stormed outside, taking my phone out. Multiple missed calls from JK. I called him back immediately, a sickening feeling in my stomach.

"What’s going on, JK?" I asked when he picked up.

"Lizzie ran away." JK answered and I was confused.

"What do you mean, Lizzie ran away? Where are you?" I asked, panic starting to overcome me.

"I don’t know what happened. She ran off in the middle of her interview. She’s gone. All of her stuff is still here. But she’s gone. And she’s not picking up her phone either!"

"I’m coming to you…"

"I’m already here…" JK stood in front of me all of a sudden.

"But… she wouldn’t just leave?"

"Julie said that she said 'Fuck this shit. I’m done.' and then left. She’s not at her garage or hospitality. All her stuff was still there, but she’s gone."

"Why did she run away? She wouldn’t just say fuck it and leave for no reason?"

"She was in the middle of an interview and then she left…"

"I bet my ass it was a Spanish outlet." I said and JK nodded "I should’ve said something. Set the record straight. Fuck."

"What do you mean?" he asked.

"She didn’t just punch Sainz for no reason, who does that anyways? He said that I should learn how to tame my bitch." I grit out and he looked at me with big eyes and a look of pure disgust on his face.

"Asshole."

"I know… but now I need to find her!"

"Try your hotel. I think that’s the best option then." he suggested.

"Yeah… but what if…" I began.

"Don’t think like that. Go. Look for her. Call me when you’re there. If Lizzie is there, good. If not, we’ll go and find her!" JK patted my back and handed me Lizzie’s bag.

"I go and grab my stuff now, then I go to our hotel. Thanks JK, really!" I sprinted back to the Ferrari hospitality, Mia already awaiting me "Whatever it is, it has to wait, there’s an emergency."

"What happened?" Mia asked alarmed.

"Lizzie ran away… she’s gone. No one knows where she is… I need to find her." I already walked up the stairs, just grabbing my things and ready to leave when Silvia’s voice called out for Mia.

"Mia? Is Charles back from the press conference? He and Carlos need to film a video."

"Charles just left…" Mia began but got interrupted immediately.

"He left? He can’t just leave? Call him! He has to come back!" I rolled my eyes at her shrill voice.

"You don’t want him to come back, Silvia. He threw up. Twice. I’m just glad that he was thinking fast enough to hide behind a container. Just imagine if someone would’ve filmed that!" Mia lied.

"True. That would be something we don’t need right now, one of our drivers vomiting in the paddock." Silvia sighed "Alright, then I go and look for Carlos. You check in on Charles."

"I will." Mia said and walked up the stairs "Alright. Go out through the back door, no one will see you there! And text me when you’ve found Lizzie. Or if you need help finding her!"

"Thank you Mia!" I hugged her and then left through the back door like she said. I made it out of the paddock and back to the hotel without being seen by anyone. I almost sprinted out of the elevator, through the door of our hotel room.

There she sat. On the sofa. Knees hugged tight to her chest. Eyes closed. Quietly humming. Relieve flooding me, although the way she sat there, looking so small, almost made my heart break. I carefully approached her, gently touched her knee and she flinched a little, looking up.

"Hey." she whispered as I sat down next to her.

"Hey." I replied cupping her tear stained cheek "What happened?"

"It’s ridiculous. I overreacted." she mumbled but I shook my head.

"I don’t think so… it was the Spanish media. They are coming after you because you dared to touch their hero Sainz senior." I said and she chuckled bitterly.

"Yeah. But you know, without proof what he said? No one will believe me. And they won’t believe your words, because of course you would lie for me…"

"I’ll find a solution. I promise you…"

"No! You can’t do anything Charles! I don’t want you to lose your seat because of this!" she almost cried and I pulled her into my lap, leaning back.

"I won’t, trust me! I already have an idea and if it works they all see what a disgusting man he is…" I whispered and she nodded slowly.

"I want this season to be over." Lizzie sighed after a while and I kissed the crown of her head.

"Yeah… me too. It’s one to forget, to be honest. But we have to put on a brave face and show everyone who doubts us that we’re better than them, okay? Better than all of them!" I smiled encouraging at her and she nodded slowly.

"Yeah… and we’re starting out with you on pole and me right behind!"

"Hell yes."

"Charles? A word?" Mattia said right as I wanted to grab my helmet.

"What’s up?" I asked, taking a sip out of my bottle.

"I need you to stick to our plan today. You can’t get your feelings for Lizzie get the better of you. You have to defend Carlos. He made it on pole! Keep Lizzie out of his range…" he said and I rolled my eyes "I’m serious Charles!"

"Whose idea was it to start on the softs? To be able to fully attack? Right. Mine. Who said that getting in front of Lizzie at the start is the most important thing to do to help Carlos? Right. Me. I know what I have to do. No need to remind me…" I said grabbing my helmet, wanting to leave.

"I just wanted to make sure that we’re still on the same page."

"Yeah. We are. Can I go now? Thanks." I brushed past him.

"What was that about?" Andrea asked when he took my helmet from me.

"He wanted to remind me to stick to MY plan…" I sighed and Andrea rolled his eyes.

"Your plan to help Carlos win… because he can’t do it alone…" he said under his breath and I chuckled a little.

"Andrea." I chided.

"I didn’t say anything…" he grinned, following me out to my car "But if I did… it would be the truth."

"Lizzie rubs off on you." I chuckled.

"Maybe. But it’s just for the best I think." he shrugged his shoulders and I nodded.

"Yeah, it really is. Let’s go now, let’s help Carlos win this race." I sighed while Andrea rolled his eyes.

"Yay. Sounds fun… not."

"It’s scary how similar you and Lizzie are getting."

"As long as you won’t kiss me, it’s good."

"We'll see about that."

The race was long. Exhausting. After half the distance my fingers began to hurt, but I powered through. After fighting with Charles for multiple laps I finally was able to leave him behind, knowing that he sacrificed his race for Sainz. Now I had to fully focus on him in front. I wouldn’t let him take home this win. He would stay winless after today. I pushed as hard as I could and managed to finally overtake him and create a little gap between us. But he was quick to recover and the next few laps were a tight battle, with me staying in front but not with much.

"Do I have anything left?"

"Negative."

"Fuck. My tires are gone as well."

"Just keep pushing. 5 more laps to go."

I tried. I gave my all. My car was going around the corners with barely an inch between the walls at some parts of the track. My tires were more than gone. And when Pete finally said that it was the final lap I felt relieve flood me. One last lap. But Sainz came closer and closer with each turn. Right as I drove into turn 16 I saw him, closer as ever and I pushed hard. Through turn 17. Straight down into turn 18 and I was still slightly ahead when all of a sudden I lost all control, felt the strong pulling of the g forces in my bones, spun around and crashed right into the wall before the final corner. The impact raged like a tidal wave through my body. My mind buzzing. I was out of the race.

"Are you okay? Lizzie?"

I couldn’t answer. Hands trembling. Arms felt heavy. Neck and shoulders tense. A dull pain in the pit of my stomach, a weird pulling.

"Lizzie?"

I saw marshals approaching. A searing pain shot through my hand. When I tried to unbuckle myself. Of course. My already injured hand had to bitch now even more.

"Lizzie? Are you okay?"

"Did that really happen? Did he really…?"

Radio silence. I knew what that meant. Sainz did in fact drive straight into me. Sent me off track. Won the race.

"You have to wait for the medical car." one of the marshals said but I shook my head and climbed over the wall.

"No, I don’t." I replied, out of breath. The heat. The exhaustion. The impact still in my bones. The pain in my fingers. The abdominal pain, getting worse with every step. It all was too much and I felt myself swaying. I grabbed onto the wall to steady myself and took a deep breath. Then I almost jogged towards the pit lane. Saw how the cars passed me after their out lap, returning to the pit lane as well. I had to be there before Charles got out of his car. I knew that he saw what happened. It was still on replay on all the screens. He would be seething. He would be going straight for Sainz, cameras or not. Another Marshall saw me struggling and held me upright.

"You should go to the medical centre." he suggested but I shook my head.

"I can’t. I have to go to the pits." I breathed heavily and continued "I’m fine. Really!" he let go of me reluctantly and I felt his look on me for a while. I saw how Charles parked his car and knew I had to be faster. I clenched my teeth and kept going. Right as I felt like I would faint I dropped my helmet and someone was catching me from falling.

Charles POV:

The car wasn’t even properly parked, the engine not even switched off when I unbuckled my seatbelt and threw the headrest away. Climbed out. Threw the steering wheel back in. My helmet followed. Then I looked around. Saw how Carlos jumped into the open arms of our mechanics. Saw them cheering. Celebrating. Singing. My blood began to boil. Pure rage surging through my veins. I wanted to break his bones. Every. Single. One. I stalked towards the scene when someone stopped me.

"Wrong way." Pierre held me back.

"Get out of my way."

"Charles, not here. Not for everyone to see."

"Look at him! Look at them! Look how they celebrate!" I screamed and some heads were turning our way.

"I know but…"

"You know nothing! It’s my girlfriend he sent straight into a wall! On purpose! He probably didn’t even ask if she’s okay!" more and more people where looking at us. Some guys from my team as well, all looking conflicted. Pierre still held me back "Let go of me."

"No." he pushed me away from my destination "I won’t let you do…"

"I DON’T GIVE A FUCK WHAT YOU…" I began to scream when I heard a weak voice calling out for me.

"Charles…" Lizzie.

I turned around. My heart dropped. She clung to Alex, who held her upright. She was pale and sweaty. Body shaking. Her helmet on the ground, visor cracked. I ran up to her. Pulled her into me.

"Are you okay, cara mia?" I whispered and she nodded slowly.

"I’m okay. A little exhausted… I honestly didn’t think that the way would be that far. My cardio sucks." she chuckled breathlessly but I pulled away, cupping her cheeks.

"Why didn’t you wait for the medical car? Why aren’t you on the way to the medical centre?" I looked at her.

"Take a good guess…"

"Cara mia…" I began but she shook her head.

"No! You say nothing! You stay calm!" her voice was firm although I could see how hard it was for her to just stand "Please Charles, don’t do anything stupid!" she almost pleaded.

"Okay, I won’t. I promise! But can I please take you to the medical centre?" now I was the one pleading.

"I think you should first go and congratulate your team and team ma-…" she began but I scoffed.

"Congratulate them? For what? He sent you straight into a wall! He needs to be penalised…" I seethed and took her helmet that Alex handed me "Thanks mate, for helping Lizzie…"

"No worries, just get her to see a doc, she almost fainted twice on her way here." Alex said and gently patted Lizzie’s arm.

"Thanks Albono!" Lizzie smiled at him, but I could clearly see her exhaustion.

"Come on, pretty girl, let’s get you to the medical centre." I whispered following Pierre, who took my helmet out of my car, to our weighing.

I waited outside the hospital room, mind reeling. When the doctor at the track said they had to take Lizzie to the hospital I expected the worst. My heart was racing. The minutes I had to wait felt like hours when finally a nurse opened the door and let me in. Lizzie was pale but she didn’t look like she was seriously injured, but the look on the doctor’s face as he told me to wait until she would wake up made me feel uneasy. I looked around, there was a big plastic bag with her racing suit and fireproof on the chair in the corner and when I looked closer I saw something red staining the bag. I didn’t need to look again. I swallowed hard. Blood. But where did it come from? Was there something I didn’t see? Was this the reason the doctor rushed her to the hospital? Breathing got harder and I tried to calm myself down, right when Lizzie opened her eyes, frantically searching the room until they found mine and she visible relaxed.

"Hey cara mia. How are you feeling?" I asked, voice trembling a little, drawing circles on the back of her hand with my thumb. She sat up a little and smiled lightly.

"I’m okay, Charles!" she said and smoothed down my ruffled hair a little, the result of my anxiety over the past hour "What happened? We were at weighing and then all is kinda blurry?"

"You fainted-…" I began when the door opened and a doctor came in.

"Hi Lizzie, how are we feeling?" he asked and Lizzie shrugged a little.

"I’m okay. A little tired. Nothing bad going on." she answered and yawned quietly.

"Were you feeling unwell before today?" the doctor asked and Lizzie shook her head.

"You felt sick for weeks, Lizzie!" I said sternly and Lizzie just sighed.

"It was a stomach bug. That’s it." she said and the doctor shook his head slightly.

"For weeks? And sometimes it was more, sometimes less?" Charles looked at the doctor.

"I see… Lizzie there is something that we need to talk about…" he began and looked at me for a moment.

"Whatever it is, you can say it in front of him, it’s fine." she said and he nodded.

"I’m sorry to inform you, but due to the high forces in the car when crashing into the wall, you had a miscarriage…" the doctor said and I could hear Lizzie inhaling sharply "We’d say you weren’t that far along maybe 8th to 9th week if we’re correct?"

I looked at Lizzie, shocked expression on her face. She was pregnant? We were having a baby?

"Miscarriage? I was… I was pregnant?" she whispered, her voice hoarse.

"You didn’t know?” the doctor asked and she shook her head slightly, then closed her eyes and pulled her hand out of my grasp and put it in her lap, fiddling with her cuticles as always when she was nervous or anxiety ridden "I’m sorry to be the bearer of this sad news. We’d like to have you over for the night to make sure you’re all good and then you can leave tomorrow."

With that he left and Lizzie sobbed quietly, tears streaming down her face, she pulled her knees up to her chest, hissing in pain but hugged them close, her head turned away from me.

"Mon amour? Lizzie? Hey! Look at me!" I whispered and sat next to her in the bed and tried to make her look at me.

"I’m sorry Charles! I’m so sorry! I didn’t know! I would never get in the car if I knew that I was pregnant! I would never… I’m so sorry!" she cried and I pulled her in my lap, hugging her tight "I lost our baby, Charles! I’m so sorry!"

"Stop apologising! It’s not your fault! You don’t have to be sorry for anything! Do you hear me?" I said but she was shaking and whispering how sorry she was over and over.

"Please don’t hate me for losing our baby!" she whispered after a while and my heart broke.

"Enough! You hear me, cara mia? It’s enough! Stop apologising for something that wasn’t your fault! Stop feeling guilty for something you didn’t know! Stop blaming yourself! It wasn’t your fault. And please stop thinking that I could ever hate you! I love you, Lizzie! You hear me? I. LOVE. YOU!" I said and held her close, kissed her temple, forehead, cheeks again and again "It’s okay! We’re going to be ok? Alright? Stop apologising, Lizzie! Please!"

She nodded slightly but I could hear her soft sobs for quite some time, before she finally fell asleep and just then I allowed myself to feel the same devastation. We were having a baby. I would’ve become a dad. And my beautiful Lizzie would’ve become a mum. But not anymore. And she blamed herself for it. Thought I could hate her. Her out of all people. I kissed her on the crown of her head.

"I love you, Lizzie and there’s nothing you could ever do to change that. One day you and I will have a baby and it’s going to be one of the most beautiful days of our life’s!" I whispered and after some time I fell asleep myself.

I woke up when I heard someone talk loudly in Italian in the hallway and sat up, careful not to wake up Lizzie. I got out of the bed and stretched a little before I opened the door.

"…he can’t just disappear like that!" Mattia said to Andrea who scoffed.

"What did you expect? That he would celebrate while his girlfriend fainted multiple times and has to stay at the medical centre? After crashing out? Because someone sent her straight into the wall?" he replied and Mattia rolled his eyes.

"It was a racing incident. She didn’t leave enough spa-…" Mattia began.

"Bullshit. Lizzie had the corner and he didn’t leave her enough space! And instead of backing down he drove straight into her!" I said loudly and they both turned around.

"Charles, that is not what was happening!" Mattia said "They were close the whole last lap and at this corner she should’ve left him more space."

"Why? That he can overtake her? Who does that? Who? She was in front. She had the corner. So he did the only thing he could do, he touched her, made her crash out. In the last corner." I had to suppress my anger.

"Yes, they made contact. And Carlos got a penalty. For causing a collision. The FIA dealed with it. It’s all good now…"

"It’s all good now? IT’S ALL GOOD NOW? Lizzie! She had a mi-… no. Nothing is all good now!" I almost screamed, Andrea putting his hand on my shoulder.

"Look, I’m sorry Lizzie has to be here. But as Carlos teammate I expected you to congratulate him. I expected you to celebrate with the team. It was important. It was his first win after all! He ended the domination of Red Bull. But you left without a word. You weren’t at any interview. You’ll be fined and we won’t pay for it. That is on you. But you’re going to be at the race debrief. I won’t tolerate your absence." Mattia turned around and left, without giving me the chance to say a word.

"How is she?" Andrea asked me and I felt my throat closing in. I shook my head, trying to get a word out but couldn’t. The weight of the news still heavy in my stomach.

"She’s umm- she’s okay. Under the circumstances… I mean… yeah- she… she’ll be okay." I stammered and Andrea nodded, sensing how bad I felt.

"What happened? Come on. You can tell me. It’s okay." Andrea lead me to a seating area and sat down, I did the same and leaned back, closing my eyes.

"Andrea… Lizzie- she was… we would’ve become- she lost our baby…" I whispered the last part and Andreas eyes widened in horror "She didn’t knew that she was pregnant. But the high g-forces when she crashed into that wall? It was too much. The baby… it couldn’t survive it… Lizzie had a miscarriage."

"I’m going to kill him. He stood there, celebrated like he was a king. Celebrated like he won this race through his own brilliance when it was you who defended him for such a long time to create a big, fat gap. Ferrari wanted you to sacrifice your entire race to help him win. And you did and he… he only won by pushing Lizzie off… and then he didn’t even mention you once. He didn’t acknowledge your involvement. He didn’t thank you. Nothing! Mattia didn’t as well! They didn’t mention Lizzie at all! Not saying that they were hoping she’d be fine! Nothing!" Andrea was furious and I hid my face in my hands, arms on my knees.

"I’m not leaving her alone. I don’t care about the race debrief or what Mattia will do. I don’t care about it all anymore." I whispered.

"You’re going to that race debrief and you show them all that no matter what they throw your way, you overcome it all!" Lizzie’s weak voice behind me made me flinch and I turned around.

There she stood, pale, swollen eyes, tired, in her hospital gown. Looking nothing but determined.

"Lizzie! You should stay in bed!" I got up but she took a step back, holding up her hand to stop me "Cara mia…"

"No. You go. Both of you. Carlos won today. We can’t change that. He got a penalty but still won. It’s like this. But you don’t give him, his family, Mattia or anyone else the satisfaction that you can’t handle it or something. No. You go to that debrief. You put on a smile. You congratulate him. You be the bigger person. You show your honour. And from then on you show them who you are. You do the talking on track. You destroy him. In every single race to come. You finish ahead of him at the end of the season." Lizzie sounded determined and I looked at her. She was the strongest person I’ve ever known. I nodded slowly and took a cautious step towards her and she took one towards me as well. Two more steps and I engulfed her in a tight embrace.

"I love you, cara mia. So so much!" I whispered in her ear, kissing her cheek.

"I love you too, Il predestinato! Go and show them who’s the best driver!" she replied and I looked her in the eyes for a moment before I leaned in for a kiss. Her warm lips brushed against mine and for a moment I forgot everything around us "Go now. I’m fine. JK and Julie will stop by later with some fresh clothes. I won’t be alone."

"Are you sure?" I asked her and she nodded "Okay. I’ll be back as soon as I can!" I kissed her once again. I stepped aside and Andrea hugged Lizzie.

"Mia ragazza… I’m so sorry." he whispered and Lizzie nodded a little "I make sure that Charles won’t do anything stupid… don’t worry!"

"Thank you, Andrea." Lizzie breathed out.

"You’re the strongest person I’ve ever met." Andrea said when he pulled away, kissing her cheek "Let’s go." he looked at me and I nodded, watching Lizzie returning back to her room, climbing into the bed.

"Let’s make this quick."

I walked inside. The trophy sitting int the middle of the table. Mattia and Carlos talking with his father and cousin, Riccardo, his race engineer right next to them. A whole bunch of our team still with a big smile on their face, talking animatedly about the race. I sat wordlessly down, at the end of the table, not making a sound and waited for the debrief to start. Alessandro, Callo and Mario came up to me, patting my shoulder and I looked up.

"Hey, how’s Lizzie?" Alessandro asked and I forced myself to smile a little.

"She’s okay. Not great, sure, but she’ll be fine." I replied and they both nodded, smiling.

"That’s good. Really good." Mario said, right as Andrea walked in and sat down next to me, handing me a bottle of water.

"Charles? Hey… how’s Lizzie? I heard she’s in the hospital?" Fabrizio asked, sitting down next to me.

"Yeah, they had to make some more tests, it wasn’t just a little bump after all. But she’s okay." I said again, feeling the bile rise up my throat.

"Yeah? That’s good. I’m glad to hear that." he gently patted my arm and I nodded.

"Yeah, it is." I pressed out, gulping down some water, while Andrea nudged my thigh a little, smiling at me.

"Alright everyone. There’s not much to debrief tonight. We had a fantastic weekend with the best possible result. Tyre degradation was working in our favour this weekend, but it’s still one of our main problems. Also the reliability of some components. But we know now that Red Bull is beatable. It was a tough battle, but in the end we can all celebrate Carlos’ first win now!" Mattia said and I looked first at him, then at Carlos. Big smile on his face. His father and cousin smiling at him looking all proud, his mechanics cheering, beer bottles getting passed along. Everyone started to chat. And I sat there. Looking at Mattia. Laughing and joking with Sainz senior. I felt anger rising up. This was the important debrief I had to attend. The debrief that made me leave Lizzie behind. Alone. No.

"That’s it?" I asked loudly and the room fell silent "That’s the race debrief? That’s all you have to say?"

"What else is there to say?" Mattia looked at me as I got up.

"This is why I left my girlfriend alone in the hospital after someone sent her straight into a wall?" my voice was trembling with anger but he didn’t say anything.

"Charles…" Andrea began but I shook my head, walking towards the door where Mattia stood with Carlos, his father and cousin.

"Congratulations Carlos. Congratulations Matti, it looks like you finally got your long awaited Santander win." I said, then I walked out, Andrea following me.

"Hey my pretty girl, how are you?" Charles asked when he walked inside and I shrugged my shoulders a little.

"I don’t know. It’s weird… I didn’t know that I was pregnant… I just-…" I stopped. Looking at my hands. Not sure what to say and what to feel.

"Lizzie? Hey… it’s okay. Whatever you feel is okay. You can talk to me. Or not. Whatever you need now… just don’t push me away entirely, okay?" Charles took my hand in his and kissed my knuckles, smiling at me "We’re in this together. You and me. Okay?"

"When we talked about us having kids… I didn’t thought about the when… one day sure… but now? I don’t think I would’ve been ready… it would’ve meant giving up my career? Everything I fought so hard for? It’s selfish to think like that… I know… but- but I think I’m relieved that I lost it? I’m a horrible person for thinking that way, I know! But it’s just… I don’t know… I’m sorry." I whispered, not able to look at him, knowing that he would be shocked and hurt by my words.

"Can you please look at me?" he asked me gently and I looked up "It’s not selfish to want this chance, this opportunity not to end. I know how hard it was for you to make it into Formula 1. I know the blood, sweat and tears you invested. And it doesn’t make you a horrible person… because last night? I saw how sorry you were. And how much it hurt you… you don’t have to feel sorry, okay?"

"It’s just so weird. Because although I’m relieved… I’m also sad? This little bean? That was us. You and I. And it was in me. It was a part of me, unknowingly, but still. And now it’s gone. And I’m not sure if I’m even allowed to feel sad? Because I didn’t want it in the first place?" Charles wiped away my tears and leaned his forehead against mine.

"You can feel every way you want to… you can be sad. Mad. Frustrated. Confused. Relieved. It’s okay. It’s a lot to process. But at the end of the day, it’s only important that you know that it’s all going to be okay. I’m with you. Always. And the next time a little bean is growing in your belly? Maybe then is the time for us to be happy. To be excited. But we have time. As much time as you need." he whispered and I nodded slowly.

"How do you do that?"

"Do what?"

"Always find the right words? Always know what to say? Always know what to do? How are you so perfect?" I smiled and he chuckled.

"It’s easy. I do it for you. And you’re perfect. You deserve only the best. That means that I have to be the best. So I’m trying my best…"

"You’re succeeding."

Charles POV:

I left Lizzie’s room when her doctor and a nurse came to do some final tests. I took the elevator downstairs. The silence in the confined room was deafening. Lizzie’s words still echoing in my mind. She felt relieved. Relieved that she lost our baby. Our baby. I took a deep breath. The bell signalling the doors opening. I looked up when a nurse wheeled in a young woman, baby in her arms. I swallowed hard, stepping aside. I watched the young mother gently stroking the cheek of her newborn. Kissing the baby’s forehead. A void inside of me opening. A cold numbness overcoming me. I didn’t know how to feel. Sad? Mad? Relieved? Confused? Frustrated? Overwhelmed? From everything a little? I flinched when the baby started to cry. I watched how the young mother cradled her little bundle of joy closer to her chest, softly cooing, trying to calm down her most prized possession. I stepped out of the elevator as soon as the doors opened and just started walking, no idea where I would go.

I found a quiet seating area and sat down. My mind reeling. I had no right to be mad at Lizzie. It was her body. Her choice. She would have to end her career. Not me. She would be the one carrying the baby for the next nine months. Not me. I understood her. Of course I did. But still. The thought of this tiny little bean. This tiny little something. A mix of us. Something we created through our love. To hear that she felt relieved that it was gone hurt for some reason. Like hell. After a while I checked the time, realising that I was sitting there for almost 20 minutes and got up, went back to Lizzie’s room. Putting on a brave smile. A reassuring one. I had to be strong now. And supportive. What happened didn’t happen to me, but to Lizzie. And I had to be strong now. For her.

"The cramping usually stops within a day, maybe two. You can take painkillers. It’s normal that there might be some light bleeding or spotting for the next 4 to 6 weeks. You should see your ob-gyn in around two weeks and they may do an ultrasound exam or other tests to make sure all the tissue has passed. Also no heavy lifting. And no sexual intercourse for the next one, better two weeks…" the nurse said and Lizzie nodded.

"Oh don’t worry, we don’t want another accident happen so soon." she joked half heartedly and I groaned. Accident.

"Can you maybe not make these kind of jokes just now…" I let out, harsher than intended, and she looked up from her bag, eyes wide.

"I’m sorry." she whispered, looking back down, her shoulders visible tensing.

"No… I’m sorry." I gently took her hand in mine but she pulled away.

"I’m ready, we can go… thank you for everything." Lizzie grabbed her bag and smiled at the nurse. I wanted to take her bag but she already started walking out the room.

"Fuck…" I muttered under my breath "Thank you!" I nodded at the nurse, following Lizzie, who was almost at the elevator "Lizzie wait…" I called after her "Hey! Cara mia, give me your bag."

"I’m fine..." she whispered, turning away.

"Lizzie, please. Give me your bag." I repeated, but she shook her head, still not looking at me.

"I’ll be in the car on the weekend. I can carry my bag." she said right as the elevator doors opened.

"I know that you can, but you don’t have to. So please, cara mia." I almost pleaded but Lizzie was stubborn and carried her bag all the way to the car and from the car back to our hotel room as well.

"I already packed your suitcase last night, I just left some clothes for the flight out… I hope what I picked was okay?" I said to her and she only nodded, grabbing the clothes and then disappeared in the bathroom. I heard the shower going and could’ve sworn that I heard Lizzie sob "Cara mia? Are you okay?" I knocked on the door.

"Yeah. I’ll hurry, don’t worry." her voice confirmed my suspicion, she was crying.

"Lizzie, can I come in?" I said gently.

"I’m okay, Charles. Just give me a minute."

I sighed and sat down on the bed, thinking about what I did.

"You can go now if you want…" Lizzie said and I flinched, she stood in front of me, fully dressed, her hair wrapped in a towel.

"Can we talk about what happened?" I tried it again but Lizzie walked away.

"There is nothing to talk and if you want to take a shower you need to hurry up, the car is here in 20 minutes." she sat down at the table and began to blow dry her hair and I sighed, knowing that I wouldn’t get her to talk. At least not now. Defeated I grabbed my stuff and want to the bathroom, not without looking at Lizzie once more. Her shoulders slumped, eyes trained down to the floor. Great fucking job, Charles.

I called Julie, silently begging that she would answer the call immediately.

"Lizzie, hey! How are you?" Julie sounded worried.

"I’m fine. Really." I said although I didn’t felt like it.

"Okay… if I can do anything, just let me know, okay?"

"Actually, there is something you can do…" I said, taking a deep breath.

"Yeah, sure, everything."

"Can you book a room for me in Japan?" I asked.

"It’s already booked… Mia sent me the details…" she sounded confused.

"No… umm- a room… for me. Just me."

Silence.

"Okay… whatever you want…" Julie said after a while.

"Thank you… see you in Suzuka…" I hung up and finished my hair, pulling it up into a messy bun right when Charles came out of the bathroom, packing away his things "Ready? Joris texted me that the driver is here."

"Umm yeah. Sure. Let’s go…" Charles replied and grabbed his bag, as well as mine. I cocked an eyebrow but he shook his head "Just let me carry it, okay?"

"Okay…" I mumbled and we left the room, meeting up with Joris. I didn’t listen to anything they were saying and just wanted to get into the plane, put my head down and sleep. Or at least try to. I was never really a fan of sleeping on the plane but maybe after last night sleep would find me easily.

"Cara mia?" I heard Charles whisper and opened my eyes "We landed."

"Already?" I yawned and he nodded.

"You were gone the moment you sat down." Charles smiled and I stretched a little.

"Okay…" I got up and grabbed my bag, following Charles out of the plane and all the way through to the arrival hall, where already a bunch of fans were waiting for us, mostly Charles, but still. I smiled for as many selfies as possible, signed stuff and thanked the fans for coming although I was more than exhausted. Light cramps made me flinch a little and I felt how I had to force my smile more and more with every new selfie.

"Guys, leave Lizzie a little space to breathe. The crash is still in her bones!" Charles stepped next to me and some fans immediately took some steps back, but not all of them and with Charles now next to me, even more people swarmed us and he pulled me to his side. With Joris on my other side and some securities coming to our help, we made it outside and into our car.

"I think we really should consider hiring bodyguards for yo- for us." Charles said hastily when I glared at him.

"I was fine before you and your whole mob of fangirls came along." I said bluntly and he looked at me for a moment, as if he wanted to say something, but then he shook his head and turned to Joris.

"You have a dinner later. You have to attend. Sorry…" he said and Charles groaned.

"How much time do I have?"

"Let’s say, check in, change, go? And we still might be a little late."

"Great. Just great." Charles looked at me and I shrugged my shoulders "I don’t want to leave you alone…"

"I’m fine. In fact, I’m meeting up with Julie anyways, she wants to show me some stuff for Netflix." I lied and he nodded "I’ll go straight to her room when we arrive."

"Okay… but Lizzie? Don’t overwork yourself… the doctor said to take it a little slow. Please."

"Don’t worry, I will." I replied when our car stopped and another mass of fans was waiting "Round 2 I guess."

"How did Charles react?" Julie asked when I dropped my bag on the sofa.

"Umm… he doesn’t know." I replied and she made big eyes "It’s better like this."

"Yeah maybe, but you still should tell him that! And not just let him walk into an empty hotel room…"

"I’m going to send him a text. We need a little space. He’s hurt and mad… and it’s not because I had a miscarriage… it’s because I said that I’m relieved." I almost whispered.

"But you explained him why, right? I can’t imagine Charles being mad if he knows the reasons? It’s Charles after all?" she cocked an eyebrow as I sat down on the sofa.

"Yeah but his reaction? I- I think he’s more hurt than he wants to admit. He needs time to think about it. To process it. And he can’t do that when I’m next to him all the time." I grabbed my phone and opened a text for Charles "He will understand."

"I hope you’re right…"

I groaned, turning to switch on the nightstand lamp.

"What the actual fuck…" I muttered, the hammering at my door got even more frantic "What…" I checked the time 1:17 am. I scrambled out of the bed and walked to the door, looking through the peephole. Charles. My heart hammering in my chest.

"Open the door please, cara mia!" his voice hoarse.

"Charles? What are you doing here? At this time?" I whispered when I opened the door to let him in and he pulled me into a tight embrace.

"I hate it like this. When we’re separated! I don’t sleep well when you’re not next to me… I’m sorry that I woke you up but I just couldn’t stand being away from you for just one more minute…" Charles mumbled, his hot breath tickling my ear.

He looked tired, exhausted, something I noticed this morning as well.

"I just thought that after Singapore… you were clearly mad at me when I made that stupid joke…" I began and he cupped my cheeks.

"I know and I’m sorry. It was more that I had to wrap my head around this all for a moment and you were already joking about it… and I know that it’s just a coping mechanism… but in that moment? I thought about this little bean, our little bean, and it made me sad and hurt that you were happy that it’s gone, although I completely understood why you were relieved! And I fully support you! It’s just… I don’t know? I just needed a moment to get it all sorted out. I shouldn’t have snapped at you! I know that! And I’m so, so sorry that I did! But please understand me as well. And please don’t send me away. I don’t want to sleep without you ever again. It was horrible. I felt horrible. I need you by my side… especially here…" Charles almost whispered the last words and I realised how stupid and selfish I was.

"I’m so sorry Charles! I- I honestly didn’t even think about where we are… I just wanted to give you space and-…" I began but he silenced me with a kiss.

"I don’t ever want space from you, okay? Never. We talk. We find a solution. No one leaves." he leaned his forehead against mine "And can we please go to bed now? I’m so freaking tired…"

"Okay…" I whispered pulling him with me back into bed.

"I love you, Lizzie." Charles said after a while, holding me close to his body, his hand gently tracing my spine up and down.

"I love you too…" I tilted my head up and kissed his cheek "And I’m sorry for leaving you alone here-…"

"You don’t have to apologise, cara mia. I’m just happy to have you next to me again… it’s weird, but when you’re not next to me…"

"You can’t sleep well? It’s the same for me… I’m tossing and turning, but I don’t really sleep…" I whispered and he nodded.

"Yeah… I mean when I’m in Maranello alone, I can sleep because we talk before I go to bed? But this? When we don’t talk? I hate it…" he kissed the crown of my head "But you have to believe me, Lizzie, I wasn’t mad at you, never, okay? I just… I don’t know. The doctor said that there was a baby. Our baby. And suddenly all I ever dreamed of having was just right there in front of me… and in my mind, hearing you say that you were relieved was like saying you don’t want this. Us. I know it’s not the truth! But sometimes my mind plays these kinda tricks on me and I need a moment to sort it all out in my head. But there was not one second where I was mad at you. If I was mad, then at the situation. But nothing else, okay?"

I nodded. Wiping away a stray tear.

"We’re going to be fine. It’s all going to be okay, cara mia. You and me against the world." another kiss on my head "And now we really should sleep. We have quali today. And I don’t know about you, but I really want to wipe away that grin of some certain people’s faces…"

"Yeah… me too."

"Ryan Andrew’s, CBS. Lizzie after your crash in Singapore you seemed to be a little off the whole weekend in Japan, was the crash worse than it looked like? Was it potentially not a good idea to race?"

"Of course I still felt the crash in my bones. It was a high speed corner where I crashed out. But I was and am alright. The result in Japan had nothing to do with the crash." I lied, feeling Charles eyes on me.

"Kelly Johnson, BBC Sports. Charles, in Japan the Ferrari’s looked quite strong, after Singapore another good race for your team. Do you think you can repeat that performance this weekend?" the blonde reporter in the first row asked him.

"Yeah we did quite good, we seem to understand the car better now, so I’m hoping to see some better results in the next races."

"Michael Breitner. Auto, Motor, Sport. Question for Charles. Many people expected your contract renewal to be announced in Monza… that was now two races ago. Are the contract negotiations still going on?"

"To be honest I can’t tell you much about that. Because there is not much to say at the moment. I’m focusing on this season. Then the next season. My contractual situation is not really on my mind." Charles answered with a smile and I knew how hard it must’ve been for him to sit there and look like he was believing his own words, when inside it was killing him to not know what was going on.

"Is it possible that we might see you in a different team after next year?"

"I don’t know. In Formula 1 everything is possible as we know. Everyone knows how much I love my team and that I want to win the championship with them. But at the end of the day I just want to drive and if not at Ferrari then at any other team that believes in me. But for now I can’t talk about things this far in the future when I don’t know about them myself…"

A murmur went through the room, the heads of Max, Lewis and Nico snapping to look at Charles. To say that no one expected this answer was the understatement of the year.

"To make this clear, you do think of the possibility of leaving Ferrari for another team?"

"No. I’m not thinking of leaving Ferrari. I’m saying that if Ferrari doesn’t renew my contract, then I will look for another option." the smile he forced out looked almost painful and when the press conference was over and we left, I pulled Charles with me.

"They’re persistent, no?" he chuckled bitterly and I hugged him, massaged his scalp.

"Don’t listen to their questions. They just want to get a reaction out of you." I whispered "You will get your seat. Preferably at Ferrari, I know, but at the end of the day, seat is seat, okay?"

"Yeah… you’re right."

"Now come on. Let’s finish up and then cool down in our huge bathtub…" I kissed his cheek and pulled away, before he pulled me back in and kissed me tenderly.

"Better?" I laughed when he let go of me.

"Better."

I stopped the car and switched everything off, leaning my head back. Worst race ever. I opened up the visor, hoping for some cold and fresh air to stream in just to be greeted with the searing hot air of Qatar. I was never this happy that a race weekend was over. After taking a few shallow breaths, I tried to get out of the car. The struggle was real. My knees were wobbly. I clipped out the steering wheel and put it on the hood of my car, trying to pull myself up but failed miserably.

"Come here, cara mia." I heard Charles faint voice and looked up. He gently grabbed me by the waist, pulling me out of the cockpit, then sat me down on the halo, clipping my steering wheel back in place.

"Thank you, Charlie." I whispered, fighting with the straps of my helmet.

"Let me…" he said, unbuckling the clasp, pulling my helmet off "Hey pretty girl." he pulled my balaclava off next, wiping my sweaty hair out of my face.

"Hot. So freaking hot." I pressed out, pushing off of the halo, trying to cautiously slip off and take a first step, just to be caught by Charles "Fuck." I breathed out.

"You’re done…" he said, picking me up, holding me tight. He carried me bridal style into the cold hospitality, sitting me down on the floor "You’re totally overheated, Lizzie."

"My water was gone after the first couple of minutes already." I whispered, leaning my head against the cold wall.

"Here." Andrea appeared next to us, handing me a water bottle.

"I can’t. Need to go to weighing first." my voice barely above a whisper.

"It’s okay…" I heard an F1 official say and Charles unscrewed the cap of the bottle, holding it to my mouth, the moment the cold water streamed down my throat I let out a quiet moan.

"Stop making these noises for everyone to hear… only I’m allowed to hear that…" he chuckled underneath his breath and I managed a little smirk.

"Sorry…" I whispered "Is everyone okay? I’m not the only one who’s this done, or am I?"

"You’re definitely not." Pierre sank down next to leaning his head against the cold wall "Almost everyone is done for."

"Can we please never race here again." I sighed a little.

"Yeah… I would vote against it as well." Pierre whispered, his head on my shoulder.

"Me too." George plopped down on the floor in front of us, shuffling down his race suit "That’s just too much heat."

"Well… as director of the GPDA, take matters into your hands." I chuckled and he laughed.

"Later. For now I just need a moment to cool down."

"Same, same."

The room felt warm and welcoming, the yellow walls washing a sense of calm over me, only the smell of the disinfection spray didn’t fit in. When the door opened Charles squeezed my hand and smiled at me.

"Miss Doetterer. I only have good news for you. The tissue passed completely. Your blood values look good, same for everything else. Light bleeding or spotting in the next 2-3 weeks are normal, nothing to worry about." Dr. Bernard said.

"So it’s all good?" I asked and he nodded.

"Yes. It’s all good." he repeated and I took a deep breath in.

"Thanks, Dr. Bernard." Charles shook his hand and I did the same.

"I think that’s it for today. There’s only one thing left to say for me. Good luck in Mexico." Dr. Bernard smiled and we nodded, leaving his office.

"I’d say let’s grab something to eat and then head home, the car will pick us up pretty damn early." Charles opened the door for me and I slipped in "What do you want to eat?"

"I would love a pizza…" I mumbled and he chuckled.

"Pizza it is. I’m not telling JK if you’re not telling Andrea."

"That sounds like a deal!" I leaned back and watched the busy streets of Monaco, all the young families with their babies in the most beautiful and stylish strollers "I never noticed how many babies there are in Monaco." I almost whispered and Charles took my hand in his.

"One day, cara mia. Don’t worry… the time for our little family starting to grow will come." he kissed the back of my hand and I turned a little, looking at him "There’s still enough time. Maybe enough for the both of us to win a title."

"You will win a title sooner than later… me on the other hand? Not so sure, but I sure as hell keep trying."

"No no, our baby will have world champion parents." Charles sounded determined and I laughed.

"Our baby will have one definite world champion parent and one maybe world champion parent… let’s be realistic."

"I am!"

"Okay… whatever you say."

"But until then it’s quite a long way."

"The only way I’m caring about right now is the one to Antonio’s!" I pouted a little when my stomach grumbled.

"Got you. Less talking. More driving."

"Exactly." I laughed again.

"I’m just wondering… you get already really grumpy when you’re hungry just now… but when a tiny human is growing inside you?" Charles raised his eyebrows.

"Good that you’re a fast driver then…"

Chapter 40 - some of you have guessed it 😔 I really hope I could describe the feelings and it all as natural and real as possible… the chapter feels a little rushed towards the end, but I didn’t want to put too much in it… especially now that the triple header is right around the corner and A LOT is about to happen 👀

Please leave a comment/ like/ reblog/ message and tell me how you liked it! I'm dying to hear your thoughts!

If you want to be added to the taglist, drop a comment!

Last but not least, English is not my first language and although I tried my best: please excuse any mistakes I made!

Taglist:

@silkenthusiasts @eugene-emt-roe @sunny44 @itsjustkhaos @glitterquadricorn @aundercover @kakorrhaphiphobia @alittlebitofbooksandmagic @ru-kru @shimmermotorsport @janeholt3 @kahhorri @18754389 @chiliwhore @hellowgoodbye @queensassybitchsworld @harrysdimple05 @skynel09

59 notes · View notes

ilikereadingthisiswhatilike · 1 year ago

Text

Bucky Barnes/ Winter Soldier

A collection of Bucky x reader stories. None of the stories are mine.

No Smut

Soldats princess @lokislittlemidgardian Summary: After being kidnapped by hydra the winter soldier saves you from fighting. Warnings: Dubious Consent, Kidnaping, Angst Special Tags: Age Play, Fluff,

Make Me Feel Love @darkficsyouneveraskedfor Summary: Your ex finds you. Warnings: Abuse, Miscarriage, Blood

Smut

Ribs @highonmarvel Summary: What’s scarier than dating Bucky? Leaving him. Warnings: Bodily Harm, Abuse, Rape, Angst, Smut Special Tags: Mafia AU, Multichapter

Miss Me @sidepartskinnyjeans Summary: When Bucky has a rare night off, he indulges in his favorited treat. Warnings: Dubious Consent, Kidnaping, Blood, Smut Special Tags: Vampire AU, Rockstar AU, BDSM, Wax Play

Love Like Bruise @targaryenvampireslayer Summary: HYDRA won. You're quietly trying to live your life without facing their wrath. But then years later your given to him. Warnings: Rape, Abuse, BDSM, Angst, Bodily Harm, Smut Special Tags: Multichapter, Dark

My Legacy @buckyscombatboots Summary: An Orc found their one true mate and he wants babies. Warnings: Rape, Kidnaping, Angst, Bodily Harm, Smut Special Tags: Orc AU, Breeding Kink, Size Difference

Bound @boxofbonesfic Summary: Bucky reminds you who you belong to in the club bathroom. Warnings: Rough Sex, Toxic Vibes, Smut Special Tags: Public Sex, Biker AU,

Wanted @jadedvibes Summary: Your relationship with one of your patients takes a shocking and unfortunate turn. Warnings: Rape, Kidnaping, Stalking, Smut Special Tags: Public Sex, Bondage, Dark

If it Were Summer @pellucid-constellations Summary: You met Bucky in Italy—a summer abroad with sweet gelato and even sweeter words. You never thought you’d see him again, and you were right. Because the Bucky at this frat party, the one with the smirk and the wandering eyes, was nothing like the one you knew. That didn’t mean he wasn’t still completely in love with you. Warnings: Minor violence, Alcohol Special Tags: Collage AU, Frat Boy AU

𝐈𝐧𝐜𝐞𝐬𝐬𝐚𝐧𝐭 @mavsstar Summary: You take the kids to your ex's house while you go on a date Warnings: Smut Special Tags: Family AU, Soft Sex

Coffee. Emergency. Thighs @angrythingstarlight Summary: Bucky uses you while you sleep. Warnings: Smut Special Tags: Soft sex, Somnophilia, Praise Kink,

Everyone Gonna Know @octoberkait Summary: Bucky video tapes you during sex. Warnings: Rape, Blackmail, Smut Special Tags: Voyeurism, Breeding, Size Difference

First And Last @navybrat817 Summary: Bucky decides he wants you. Warnings: Rape, Forced Bond, Smut Special Tags: Omegaverse

Family Man @giorno-plays-piano Summary: You thought the rumors about orcs wandering the forest in search of human companions were nothing serious. Warnings: Rape, Kidnaping, Smut Special Tags: Orc AU, Breeding Kink, Size Difference

Dangerous Acquaintances @giorno-plays-piano Summary: Wolves are big mean bullies. You know for sure. Warnings: Dubious Consent, Smut, Dark Special Tags: Hybrids, Breeding, Soft-Dom

The Devil’s bride @straywords Summary:20 years ago your parents promised you to a demon... and now the devil has come to collect his prize. Warnings: Kidnaping, Forced Marriage Special Tags: Demon AU

Sleeping Beauty @straywords Summary: Your strange, lonely neighbor awakens something inside you and, in turn, you awaken something inside him too. Warnings: Rape, Smut, Mental Health Special Tags: Somnophilia, Plus Size Reader