#Maybe Eddy and Wade get to share a room?

[elliewithcellie]

maybe eddie or steve and fem!single mom reader with a son who’s SUPER shy and doesn’t talk much around strangers…but they’re over at reader’s place one night recently after they’ve been introduced to your son making dinner and having a cozy night in…

you’re making dinner and you hear giggles and neither of your boys are anywhere to be found…so you go searching and find them playing with hot wheels or figurines together and it’s just too sweet

This is just such a cute idea I can't handle it. I picked Steve for this. I hope you like it! wc: 1.0k

Dino Drawings

The knock on your door stirred you from your focus.

“Shoot,” you muttered. “Shoot, shoot, shoot.”  Boiling water threatened to wade over the pot’s rim, and the red sauce bubbled, spraying out onto the counters and your blouse.

A little hand tugged on the hem of your shirt. “Mom, a knock.���

“I know, baby. It’s Mr. Steve. Come greet him with me.” You set your stove to a simmer and headed for the door, your son following close behind.

Steve stood in the entryway with flowers in his hands and a trepidatious smile on his face. “Am I early?” he asked.

“No, no,” you sighed. “I’m late. These are lovely, thank you.”

Your son peeked out behind your leg, his eyes wide as he gazed up at Steve.

“Hey, big guy!” Steve said, crouching to his level. “Long time, no see.”

Your little boy stayed put, his eyes now on you.

“Say hi, Sammy.”

A small hi was all his little voice could muster up before sprinting away into the kitchen.

Steve stood back up and chuckled, shaking his head.

“Sorry,” you said.

“I’m not worried. We’ll get there.” Steve’s smile relaxed as he pulled you closer with his free arm. He placed a gentle kiss on your cheek, fleeting, but loving, nonetheless. “You’ve got sauce on your face,” he said as he used his thumb to wipe it off. “We having Italian?”

“A lame attempt,” you chuckled. “Come in. Come in before I burn something.”

Steve closed the door behind you and followed you into the kitchen.

“I can take those from you,” you said, hands out for the flowers.

“I got it, hon,” Steve said. “Sam can help me get these in water, right bud?”

Sam stood behind the table, barely peering over, and to your surprise, nodded.

“Come on, bud. Help me find a vase.”

You watched as Sam and Steve worked together to fill a vase with water. Steve cut the stems and handed them to Sam where he placed each flower carefully, one by one. They shared scrunched eyebrows as they focused on the task at hand. A warmth washed over you. Watching the boys distracted you from the food entirely until sauce splattered against your forearms.

“Ouch, ouch, shoot!” you grumbled. You wiped the sauce from your arms and sighed. As much as you didn’t want the cuteness overload to end, you had to finish dinner.

“Baby,” you called out. Both boys looked up from where they set the flowers. You laughed, your cheeks slightly rouging at the miscommunication.

“Sammy,” you corrected, “why don’t you show Mr. Steve your dinosaur drawings in your room?”

“No way, dino drawings?” Steve asked. “You’ve been holding out on me!”

Sam’s eyes brightened at Steve’s words. He remained silent but smiled up at Steve before zooming out of the kitchen and down the hall. He peeked around the corner of the hall and waved for Steve to follow him.

You felt as happy as Steve looked. Steve grinned ear to ear as if he couldn’t contain his excitement. “Alright, bud. Let’s see ‘em,” he called out as he all but jogged to catch up to your little boy. You turned back toward the stove, a smile refusing to leave your lips.

Thirty minutes later, the Chicken Parm was finally to temperature. You pulled the food from the oven. You grabbed three plates from the cabinet and set them down at the table. Seeing the third spot of your table filled pleased you to no end. You set out forks and napkins and dished out the spaghetti onto each plate. You relished in the silence, the lack of distractions. You finished setting the table and stood up straight. No distractions are a bad sign when you have children.

“Boys?” you called. No answer.

“Hmm,” you mumbled. You headed down the hall on your toes, sneaking around in your own home. Sam’s door had shut, but light peered through the crack, muffled ramblings permeating through.

You knocked and entered. Your boys looked up at you underneath a makeshift tent made of Sam’s comforter and a plastic hockey stick. Crayons of all colors and sizes rolled around over the construction paper that splayed across the floor in disarray.

“What do we have here?” you asked, hands on your hips.

“We’re drawing, Mom. Look! Mr. Steve said my drawings were cool, and that his favorite was the triceratops. I told him mine was the pterodactyl, and then I pulled out my crayons, and he said we should draw you one, and”

You couldn’t believe your ears. Your shy little boy going on and on in front of Steve, all thanks to Steve. Sam was comfortable. You kept your tears at bay as you watched your son be himself.

“This one we made for you,” Sam said. He held up a picture for you. In it was a long-necked dinosaur and three people standing next to it labeled Sam, Mom, and Mr. Steve. Above it, in different handwriting, were the words “I love Mom”.

“You made this for me?” you asked.

“You said the brontosaurus was your favorite, so I put us all with it,” Sam said smiling up at you.

“I love it, sweetie. Thank you. Now, go wash your hands, ok? Dinner is ready.”

Sam dashed out of his room, leaving you and Steve crouching under the tent. You rested your head on his. “You’re amazing, you know that?”

“Me?” Steve asked. “No, that’s all him.” He pressed his lips against your temple.

“He said it was your idea to draw something for me?”

“It was a collaboration.”

“Was it your idea to write ‘I love Mom’ then?”

Steve lifted his hand in surrender. “You caught me, there. But I made a mistake.” Steve leaned back to look at you. “I should have written ‘We love Mom’.”

Your heart fluttered in your chest. Your cheeks flushed pink, but you smiled, nonetheless. You leaned in and gave him a proper kiss on his lips for the first time tonight. “We love you, too, Mr. Steve. Now, let’s eat before it gets cold.”

Steve held you in your son’s makeshift tent for just a moment longer before following you into the kitchen.

[corroded-hellfire]

potential thought that maybe went from fluff to smuty 🥴 but what if ‘as you wish’ eddie one day shares his secret about how he felt that day at the boys birthday pool party and but now they’re together so he finally gets to have some pool/kissy time with reader but she keeps teasing him like maybe she asks him when he first kinda knew he felt something for her and he goes straight to ‘I saw you holding a baby girl and wanted u to have MY baby girl’

You inspired @munson-blurbs and I with this request! I hope you enjoy what we did with it 💛

Warnings: smut, p in v, unprotected (wrap it up), breeding kink, semi-public sex I guess?

Words: 2.2k

[As You Wish masterlist]

The California night is warm, and the moon is full and bright. Stars twinkle like diamonds in the black sky as Eddie drops two towels down on a chair on the deck of the empty resort pool. The romantic dinner and walk on the beach were a wonderful start to your evening, leading now to you and your husband going for a late night dip. Your husband. The term still fills your tummy with a pleasant tingle and forces a smile on your face. He hasn’t even been your husband for a full week yet, but you’re sure you will never get tired of calling him that. It’s a few days into your honeymoon now, at an upscale resort on a Southern California beach. Luke made the two of you promise that you wouldn’t go to Disneyland without him or his older brother. If it were anyone other than a child, Eddie would have told them he didn’t plan on leaving the room long enough to do much of anything else.

The lights on the pool wall illuminate the refreshing water as you step in, Eddie right behind you. As you submerge up to your waist, you let out a little squeal at the chill water coming up so high on your body. You hear him laugh, until he steps off of the last stair and feels the cold splashing against his lower torso. 

His arms snake around your waist, pulling you flush against his bare chest. His guitar pick necklace presses into your shoulder blade as his fingers dig into the plush of your hips. “Body heat,” he casually offers, and you’re certainly not one to avoid sharing personal space with Eddie Munson. 

You turn around and kiss him softly but sensually, gently bringing your core to graze his. You giggle at the quiet moan that escapes his lips. “Just trying to keep you warm, baby,” you tease, leaning in to nip at his bicep. 

“You’re gonna be the death of me, Mrs. Munson,” he growls in your ear, fingers toying with the halter strings of your bikini top. You weren’t the most comfortable in a swimsuit, but something about the way Eddie looked like he wanted to devour you helped your confidence enough to wear one. “Knew it from the moment I laid eyes on you.”

Pulling back slightly, you give him an amused grin. “You knew you’d be feeling me up in a pool when I interviewed for a babysitting job?” you ask incredulously. 

Eddie shrugs, stealing a kiss before he says, “I knew I wanted to.”

“Can I tell you a secret?” Even though you two are the only ones in the pool, you lean in and whisper in his ear. “When I got home that night, all I could think about was the way you called me ‘Sweetheart’ before I left.”

“Sweetheart, Sweetheart, Sweetheart,” he murmurs against your lips. “I’ll call you that every second of every day, if that’s what gets you going.”

“All you have to do is look at me to get me going, baby,” you mumble against his mouth before securing your lips over his again. Eddie wades deeper into the water and you can’t even bring yourself to disconnect from him when the water creeps up your shoulders, sending a chill down your spine. Or maybe that was just your husband. Eddie chuckles when he feels you shudder in his arms. He pulls away and presses a few kisses along your neck. 

“When did you know?” you ask.

“Hmm?” Eddie hums against your throat.

“When did you know how you really felt about me?” you ask, fingers tangling in the wet curls at the base of his neck.

“You mean, when did I know you were the one?” he asks, giving you a wolfish grin as he pulls away from your neck. “Do you remember that school holiday concert Ryan had? The one where he had the solo in ‘Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer?’”

The memory brings a smile to your face, seeing little Ryan out in the middle of the stage, nervously fidgeting with his fingers as he sang his part with a shaky voice. “Of course I remember.”

“That’s when I knew it was more than just a crush,” Eddie says, brushing some of your hair out of your face. “Like I said, I felt something instantly the moment I first saw you. But when you came to that concert even when you didn’t have to, just because you wanted to be there? Shit, I knew it was real feelings. Then that first night we slept together? And I didn’t have to hide how badly I wanted you anymore? That’s when I knew I was a goner. Head over heels for you. Disgustingly in love.”

The emotion behind his words sends a warm sensation throughout your body. You cling to him tighter and rest your forehead against his. “I’m disgustingly in love with you as well, just so you know.”

“Then it’s a damn good thing we’re married.” 

“Mhmm,” you hum as you take your left hand out of the pool water. The moonlight glints off your engagement and wedding rings, making them look impossibly more beautiful than they already are. 

“I gotta be honest with you,” he continues, successfully untying your top and tugging it until it falls off of your body. You barely have time to register the chilly air on your bare breasts before he’s sucking harsh bruises around your nipples. “Seeing you like this reminds me of the first time I saw you in a swimsuit. Only now I actually get to do what I fantasized about.”

You furrow your brow, breath hitching as his clothed erection presses against your thigh. “Wh-When was that?”

“You don’t remember?” Eddie feigns disappointment, and you splash him playfully. “That’s fair. You were actually helping set up Ryan’s birthday party; I was just checking out the hot babysitter.”

Ryan’s birthday party—that was before you and Eddie had ever hooked up. Maybe a flirtatious joke or the exchanging of sweet smiles, but nothing close to sex. 

“And just what were you fantasizing about?” You let your fingers dip into the waistband of his navy blue swim trunks. 

Eddie’s voice is gravelly, barely above a whisper when he says, “Saw you holding Sinclair and Red’s baby girl and I wanted you to have my baby girl.” He takes your hands and guides you to the pool ledge. “Wanted to bend you over the side of the pool and fuck a baby into you.”

You shoot him a coy smile as you wrap your arms around his neck, draping them over his shoulders. “Better late than never.”

That’s all he needs to hear; he’s tearing off his own swimsuit and tossing it onto a nearby lounge chair. His thick cock lays against his happy trail, all too eager to be inside you. “Need you. Need to be inside you.” You feel his middle finger breach your hole, stretching you comfortably. He pumps it in and out several times before he adds his forefinger, curling both digits and hitting the most sensitive part of your walls again and again. 

You’re so close; your warm, wet pussy practically sucking him in as you grip onto the metal ledge. His name is on the tip of your tongue, ready to cry out as that now-familiar pleasure washes over you. But instead of an orgasm, all you feel is emptiness as he withdraws his fingers, popping them in his mouth greedily. 

“Wha—why—”

He just chuckles. “Poor baby. You teased me all those years ago in that sexy little swimsuit; now you’re gonna be the one who waits.”

Every part of you wants to protest, to demand that he makes you come right fucking now, but the mischievous gleam in his eye tells you that it’s fruitless. 

“Beg for my cock,” he grunts, fist wrapped around his length as he gives it slow, languid strokes. “Beg for me to fill you up till I’m dripping outta you.”

You manage to find enough voice to mumble, “Please, baby. P-Please fill me up a-and put a baby in me.”

“See how easy that was?” With that, he lifts you and positions you so that he’s lined up with your entrance. You moan involuntarily as he pushes inside you, so much bigger than his fingers. Your hands grasp at his shoulders, your nails digging little crescent shapes into his pale skin. “Jesus, Sweetheart. Your pussy was fucking made for me.”

No coherent words are able to form on your tongue, so you just let out breathy whimpers as you rock up and down on his cock. His fingers dig into your hips as he moves with you, low groans slipping from between his lips. The release that he denied you before is building back up. 

“Nuh uh,” Eddie stutters out. He knows your body so well that he can tell your impending orgasm is near. “G-Gonna wait until I come first. Think you can do that?” You give the slightest shake of your head as your breathing becomes more labored. “Too bad, because you’re gonna.”

Whimpering, you bury your face in your husband’s neck as you tighten your legs around him. As well as he knows what drives you crazy, you know him just as well. He’s not too far out so as you tighten your legs, you clench your walls around him, knowing that’ll bring him right to the brink.

“Fuck,” Eddie grunts. “Playing dirty, I see. You’re lucky it feels so damn good.” His grip around your hips tightens as well, forcing your clit to rub harshly against the thatch of pubic hair. It’s exactly what you needed, and your whining tells Eddie that you can’t hold it back anymore. As much as he’d love to draw it out and make you wait even longer, he knows he wouldn’t be able to last. “Let go, baby. Come on, cum for me.”

The words aren’t even finished leaving his lips before you feel your release wash over you, your hands sliding up to grip at Eddie’s hair as he spills inside of you. He rocks the both of you through it, holding your body as close as he possibly can. A string of Eddie, Eddie, Eddie and soft moans escape you as your high begins to come down. Both of you are breathing harshly, your naked chests moving as one as you hold onto each other in the quiet night. 

“I love you,” you say, voice soft and exhausted as you rest your head on his shoulder. A lazy grin spreads on Eddie’s face as he moves back until he can lean against the pool wall. His muscles are so tired, but he refuses to let go of you. 

“I love you, too,” he says. “So fucking much.” He presses a few kisses into your hair before he huffs a laugh, the puff of air tickling your ear. “So, how soon will we know if I really did fuck a baby into you?” 

You pick your head up from his shoulder to see his teasing smirk, but there’s a glimmer of hope in his eyes as well. Trying to come up with a witty retort, your mouth falls open instead. Eddie watches as your brow creases and you become lost in thought. Usually, when you’re deep in your own head is when he’ll start to fuck you, to try and relax you. He’s not sure what to do when you seem confused for some reason after you’ve finished. 

“I, um,” you finally say. Eddie watches you expectantly as you poke your tongue out to lick over your lips. Your eyes are moving back and forth, and Eddie can just picture some sort of calculations going on in your mind. “I’ve just been so busy. There was all the last minute planning for the wedding, making sure everything was good to go for the honeymoon, so much stress over everything. I don’t—Eddie, I can’t remember.”

“What?” Eddie asks, becoming more confused by the second. “What can’t you remember?” 

Your eyes finally meet his. “I didn’t get my period last month.”

You watch a myriad of emotions play over Eddie’s face within the matter of a second. There’s confusion, then shock as your words set in. Pure glee sets in before his mind is even able to fully process the words. But you can see he doesn’t want to get his hopes up, so he tries to tamper down the excitement. 

“Baby, are you sure?” Eddie asks, voice an octave higher than usual.

“I’m—yeah,” you say. Eddie’s lips are on yours in an instant. 

“God, baby,” Eddie says once he pulls away. “I know you might already be, y’know…but I wanna get you back in the room and go a few more rounds just to make sure.”

You look around, seeing that the pool is still empty and relishing in the silence. “Or we could just use one of the lounge chairs?”

Eddie pulls you in for a kiss, smushing your cheeks with his eager hands. “Yup, that seals the deal. You’re the perfect wife.”

[steddieasitgoes]

written for @eddiemonth Day 9 Prompt: Cowboy cw: mentions of alcohol read on ao3 | link to my ao3 Eddie Month series

Eddie’s been in a lot of bars over the years, but none quite like The Lonesome Cowboy. 

Sure, there’s a wrap-around bar along the back where bartenders dressed in god-awful cowboy and girl uniforms shoot the shit with their regulars. Shelves and shelves of liquor sit on the wall behind organized according to price — the most expensive glistening at the very top. But, unlike the bars Eddie frequents, there doesn’t seem to be a collection of spiderwebs around those. 

Where Eddie’s used to dimly lit dive bars, The Lonesome Cowboy is lit up like a damn supermarket. Okay, maybe not a supermarket, but it is bright, is what he’s getting at. Warm can light mixed with the occasional flare of colored ones from the small stage in the opposite corner. There’s also a disco ball hanging over the crowded dance floor. A fucking disco ball! 

The ornate wood walls are covered in saddles and cowboy hats. A mural of famous country musicians stretches across the room, and American flags hang down from the railing on the second level. Of fucking course, a place like this has a second level. Rich ass country people. 

The dance floor is crowded with bodies, everybody line dancing to whatever song the band on stage is currently playing. A rowdy group hoots and hollers around a mechanical bull where a petite girl is hanging on for dear life. 

It’s so not Eddie’s scene, but he’s a good friend. A phenomenal friend if he’s being straight with himself. And as a phenomenal friend, he sometimes goes places where he knows he doesn’t belong, like this bar in Nashville. Especially when said bar is hosting Gareth’s celebratory engagement party. 

“I still can’t believe Gar-bear over there is the first one of us to get hitched,” Freak says, tipping his beer bottle to his lips. 

“M’not,” Jeff snorts. “He always was the most approachable out of all of us in high school.”

“Yeah, but landing and keeping someone like Chrissy?” Eddie whistles, shaking his head fondly. He catches sight of the happy couple on the dance floor, dancing hand in hand as they move across the floor. 

“Yeah, well, Gareth is many things, but a quitter.”

They toast to that before falling into conversations that jump from topic to topic.

It’s been a few years since the whole gang got together. They keep in touch, a telephone call every few months from the Freak. Postcards from Gareth’s adventures with his girlfriend turned fiancee. He sees Jeff the most since they share an apartment in Chicago. But nothing beats getting the band back together in one location. 

Before they know it, five songs have come and gone and the atmosphere in the bar is electric. Freak excuses himself to the bathroom (“‘M too young to have a bladder this shitty,” he groans before wading through the rambunctious crowd). 

A comfortable silence falls between Eddie and Jeff as they nurse their respective drinks — a standard beer for Jeff and a whiskey sour for Eddie that Gareth insisted he try. It’s too damn smooth for his liking. Though, maybe that’s just the guilt rising up like bile in his throat after he glanced at the price tag. Gareth might be picking up the tab, but Eddie doesn’t need to be draining his bank account liquor. Especially not when he has a wedding to plan now. Still, it would be even ruder to waste it, so he takes another sip and tries to hide his grimace behind the glass. 

Eddie’s eyes drift out to the dance floor where Gareth is line dancing up a storm next to Chrissy. He spins her around in a flashy, look-at-me sort of way that would be annoying if it weren’t him. It’s actually really, fucking endearing. He may have his doubts about true love, but Gareth has found the real deal that’s for sure. A fact he makes sure to tell him several times as the night goes on. 

Drinks keep flowing, music keeps playing, and before long Eddie’s the only one still sitting at the bar. Freak’s been summoned to the mechanical bull by some of Gareth’s work friends. And Eddie basically shoved Jeff onto the dance floor a song and a half ago to go dance with one of Chrissy’s best friends who kept making eyes at him.

Everyone’s fully embraced the energy in The Lonesome Cowboy, everyone except Eddie. He doesn’t mean to be a buh humbug, quite the opposite, really. Sitting at the bar is just more in line with his comfort zone. Especially now that the band is passing out cowboy hats to the crowded dance floor in preparation for a new dance they’re teaching them. 

“If you’re not going to join the fun, can I at least get you another drink?” a silky smooth voice asks from behind him. 

An astute observation that the goofy bartender who had  left for the night hadn’t picked up on, despite Eddie’s empty whiskey glass sitting empty on the bar behind him for hours.

A pretty voice and an attentive eye? Oh, I’m screwed, Eddie thinks, already biting his lip as he turns around on the barstool. 

Hazel eyes like honey glimmer under the warm light of the bar top, pulling Eddie into a daze. The cacophony of noise disappears, as does his surroundings. Vision blurred until all he can see is the bartender in front of him. It’s a wonder he manages to break their locked stare, but he’s glad he does as he takes in the man piece by piece. 

A frayed suede vest is slung perfectly over the man shoulder’s, just like every other bartender in the place. But it looks better on him than any of the others. It sits over a tight white button-up that clings to the man’s shoulders. He has the sleeves rolled up to his elbows, strong forearms unabashedly on display as he raps his fingers against the wood bar top. 

The counter is high, obstructing Eddie’s view of the lower half of the bartender, but it doesn’t take a genius to imagine what he’s wearing. The uniform in the place seems to be tight blue jeans and bedazzled cowboy boots, and he can’t imagine Mr. Cowboy Cassanova over here straying from the heard. Though, he is interested to see just how much better he wears the measly uniform. A man with those kind of arms definitely hits the gym more than occasionally. Eddie’s sure he has an ass to prove it, too. 

The only thing out of place on the man is the cowboy hat. Unlike his coworkers, it’s angled weird, barely pulled down on his head as if doing so would ruin his hair. And by the looks of the wisps of hair falling around his eyes, it’s a gorgeous head of hair. 

Eddie’s not one for Western fantasies; the thought is basically boner killer thanks to the hours and hours of Gunsmoke he watched with his uncle in his youth, but right now it’s working for him. 

Really fucking working for him. 

Jesus H. Christ! 

Mr. Cowboy Cassanova is a gift from the universe, and Eddie wants to take him apart with his teeth. 

“So,” the man asks, clearing his throat. “What can I get you?”

You. 

“How about we start with a name,” Eddie says instead. He pillows his chin in his hands, elbows digging into the wood bar as he looks up through his lashes. 

“Name’s Steve,” the bartender replies, a slight hint of pink to his cheeks. “And yours?” 

“Eddie,” he responds, watching as Steve carefully cleans a glass with a pristine white cloth. 

“You here with the happy couple?” 

Eddie hums, glancing over his shoulder to find Gareth and Chrissy surrounded by all their friends jumping and dancing around them as the pair do some fancy little duet. Gareth swings Chrissy around his waist before picking her up in his arms and planting a kiss on her lips. Shows off. 

“Why aren’t you out there with them, then?” 

“Not much of a dancer.” “More of a drinker then,” Steve states rather than asks. 

There’s no time to respond before Steve’s pouring top-shelf bourbon into his shaker. Followed immediately by a helping of lemon juice and simple syrup. Eddie watches, entranced, as Steve shakes the shaker in his confident, skilled hands. He flips it with ease, the yellow-orange liquid flowing into the glass. Steve slides the precut orange slice onto the rim before reaching for the cherries. Two for Eddie’s drink, one for his own mouth. Stem and all. 

The glass slides in front of Eddie with magical ease, but he’s too captivated by Steve to reach for it. Eyes glued to Steve. Watching his jaw moves as he chomps on the cherry, the slow bob of his throat as he swallows before his fingers are at his lips, pulling a perfectly knotted cherry stem from his mouth. 

Tease. 

Oldest party trick in the book, but it works. Oh, how it fucking works. 

With Steve’s big eyes glued to his, he reaches for the glass and takes a tentative sip. It’s another whiskey sour, but this one is in a league of its own. Perfectly measured and shaken. 

Steve’s not the only one who can be a tease, he thinks, as he brings the glass away from his lips and moves his tongue along the rim, lapping up a stray droplet that didn’t make it back into the glass. 

“Tasty,” Eddie says, tilting the glass for another slow drink. 

If Steve’s mere presence was captivating, seeing him with a smile so wide his eyes crinkle in the corners is damn near enchanting. Eddie thinks he could get drunk off the look alone. An impressive feat, given the high tolerance he’s built up over the years for booze and pretty boys alike. 

Reaching into his pocket, Eddie pulls out a few crumbled bills and passes them across the bar. Steve glances down, brows knitted together. “Your buddy’s already covering everyone’s tab.” 

“I know,” Eddie says slowly, eyes locked with Steve’s. “But I can still tip you, can’t I.” 

Eddie’s not expecting the bright laugh that bubbles out of Steve, but it’s music to his ears. Way better than the country twang that’s been playing on endless repeat for hours. He wants to bottle it up and save it for a rainy day. 

“I’ve got a tip for you,” Steve says, shoving the bills into his back pocket. “Next time you come to a country bar, at least wear a cowboy hat. Really gets you into the spirit.” 

“Is that so?” Eddie asks, eyes flicking up to the crooked hat barely resting on Steve’s head. Maybe it’s the whisky, maybe it’s Steve’s kind but intense gaze. Whatever it is, Eddie feels confident as he leans across the bar and plucks the hat off of Steve’s head. With a tilt of his head and his signature smirk, he flips it in his hands and up onto his unruly curls. “S’that better for you, Steve?” 

Something dark flashes in Steve’s eyes before they begin to dilate. Pupils blown wide as he leans against the bar, closing the distance between them until their forearms are touching and their noses are mere centimeters apart. 

With a tilt of his head, Steve brings his lips to Eddie’s ear. He’s so close Eddie can feel his warm breath wafting over him. It sends a shiver up Eddie’s spine and a rush of blood down to his dick. 

“You know what it means when you take a cowboy’s hat, don’t you, Eddie?” Steve asks in that silky smooth, confident but teasing voice of his. 

Eddie’s knees practically buckle at the sound of it in his ear and the closeness of Steve. But he holds himself together. Giving in now is too easy. The chase has always been the fun part for him. 

He pulls back just enough to be able to look Steve dead in the eyes and cocks his own head to the side, again. Plasters on an innocent smile that he knows won’t fool Steve because of the fire burning in his own eyes.

“Save a horse, ride a cowboy, right?” he asks in his own silky smooth, confident voice. And then he leans in so close that the brim of the hat bumps against Steve’s forehead. There’s no time for apologies, though, as Eddie positions his lips a breath away from Steve’s ear this time. “What time do you get off, big boy?” 

[roughentumble]

ok here's how i picture it once wade buys a place for them all using his merc money, and peter moves in. obviously they dont stick to these bedrooms specifically they all rotate and sleep sometimes three to a bed etc etc, this is just to illustrate that there's enough bedrooms for each of them assuming they share a bed every night. or have bunk beds in each room i guess. and maybe each labeled room is where their clothes live

althea is the only one for sure in that room cuz its the closest to being on the ground floor and she's not getting any younger. when wade and vanessa finally have a kid, and eddie and venom spawn a symbiote child, the little lounge on the top floor gets turned into a nursery and logan uses all his building knowledge to make a Very secure gate to the stairs so the baby does not fall down. they like that the baby is centrally located so there's always an adult nearby to take care of it.

i accidentally put laura and gambit in the biggest room but let's just say that the standing invitation is "one of the open beds is yours" and none of them are "laura's bed". the biggest room has the biggest bed and often has 3+ people sleeping in it in a pile. remy usually sleeps on the couch anyway to give laura privacy which she appreciates.

peter gets the Nice Room as his lab because it has a closet to store supplies, a nearby washroom in case of emergency, and lots of windows+a balcony in case of an even bigger emergency. lots of modes of egress, and if there's smoke or fumes its easiest to air out.

eddie gets a little closet as his office because he wants it to be a tiny corner he hides away in to get work done where no one can bother him.

the basement is where all the weapons, ammo, and superhero gear lives. it also has a little sewing machine in the corner for wade, who is their resident seamstress. it's a bit of a mess and a tight fit, getting four heroing outfits, a huge assortment of weapons, plenty of tech, and an assortment of odds and ends that belong to gambit and laura, and a sewing corner, all in one not huge basement. but they make it work. lots of ikea shelving and lots of guns hanging on peg boards. the rest of the house also has weapons on the walls, stuff thats used as ornamentation but is also functional, but theyre all out of the reach of baby and toddler hands.

there's also superhero costumes and weapons and tech stashed away in corners all over the house because you never know when there'll be an emergency and what you'll be caught in.

he also spent an obscene amount reinforcing the house against, like, everything before they moved in. no earthquakes or fires or lightning are fucking up this house nosiree. if his family's living there, and its holding all his secrets and weapons, its gonna withstand a bomb dropping on it. reinforced windows so no snipers can take em out, etc etc

on a lighter note, since nobody has a car and it's new york so you can just friggen walk or take the subway, they maybe rip up all the driveway and replace it with plants. like they make a little stone path to the door, and the hot tub, and its really not THAT much space overall to make green, but its nice to have some ground cover instead of a big parking space for a car they dont have or need. if they need to get somewhere fast peter will just swing them its fine

[lettherebemonsters]

(Spoilers Waller made good on her threats 😂)

“W-what are you going to do to me?” Edward hisses lowly, muscles pulled taunt from within the straight jacket that covering him. Another mighty tug was given but like before, like years ago it held firm. “It’s only a matter of time before the rest of the League find our location. Oooh you better think fast” he mocks

" Calm your tits Ed, your team ASKED me to do this for you."

She'd have rather blown off his head, but the giant ape was getting a bit too aggressive.....plus Waller herself wasn't exactly happy that her Shaggyman was going out to have long fuck sessions with Mr. Hyde of all people.

But all this hemmed from their last united mission. Things got bad....real bad.

" Mina was terrified that Scotland Yard was going to skin you alive for the bullshit you pulled on the last tag-team effort. So against MY better judgement, I'm keeping you safe here in Belle Reve with the rest of my squad.

At least until the heat dies down. Think of it as going on a vacation."

[softest-cinnamon-roll]

25 pls :)

25. “I know it’s late, but…I couldn’t stop thinking about you.”

* * * * *

Valentine’s Day. The day where everyone proclaims their love for the people they care about by buying overpriced chocolates and stuffed animals. Out of all of the holidays that the world celebrated, Eddie seemed to hate this one more than ever. Not because he didn’t have a special someone to share it with, that wasn’t it, it was more the constant hearts and flowers being thrown around in a ‘declaration of love.’ Surely, if you love someone then you should tell them every day, show them everyday, not just one day of the year.

That morning, before Eddie even got the chance to leave his dorm room for class, he was hit in the face with the celebrations of the day. His roommate, Bill Denbrough, who just happened to be one of the ‘popular’ boys on the campus had woken up to many cards and flowers taped to their front door. It had taken them both a good thirty minutes to peel them from the door and place them on the table in their shared kitchen.

“A lot of admirers there, huh Bill?” Eddie commented as he finally got round to making his cereal. Luckily, his class didn’t start until 11am, and it was only 8. He still had time to shower and get ready. “Any of them lucky enough to score a date this evening?”

Bill laughed, shaking his head as he waded through all the cards before stopping, “Wait, Eddie...this one isn’t for me, it’s for you.” He grinned, holding out a card that, right enough, had his name scrawled on the front of the envelope.

With a frown, Eddie took the card out of Bill’s hands and opened it up, cringing at the cheesy verse on the card before opening it up to see the contents inside. The card wasn’t filled with anything cheesy, thank goodness, simply signed with. “Eddie, I can’t stop thinking about you. Yours, anonymous.” He bit his lip, trying to wrack his brain to think of who it could be, but no-one came to mind. Not really.

Well...there was someone, but there was no way that this card was from him. Eddie was just a friend, or maybe not even that considering the only time they saw each other was when Eddie stopped at the coffee shop where he worked to get his usual. Still, the thought of Richie Tozier sending him a Valentine’s Day card? It brought a small smile to his lips.

Ignoring Bill’s questioning stare, Eddie clutched the card tight and disappeared back down the hall to start getting ready for class. Once he was showered and changed, it was almost 10am, which still left him plenty of time to stop in for his morning coffee. He waved goodbye to Bill, who was still looking through all of the cards and headed down the street.

Just like Eddie thought, the coffee shop was covered in red balloons and love hearts. Even the specials board had Love themed drinks announced on it. Eddie rolled his eyes and stepped inside, his eyes immediately locking with Richie’s who was standing behind the counter. The closer Eddie got, he soon realised that the apron Richie normally wore was replaced with one that read; “Where have you bean all my life?” topped off with a little mug on the bottom. He looked so fucking cute.

“Hey Richie,” Eddie grinned, stepping up and resting his elbows on the counter. “Having fun?” He asked, tilting his head to the side. Instead of his usual grin, Richie shook his head which took Eddie by surprise. “Richie?”

“I thought I loved Valentine’s Day, until I arrived this morning and had to make all these sticky gross drinks. What’s wrong with regular coffee, huh? Please tell me you just want your usual Eds, I can’t take it if you want one of those ‘Love Surprise’ Frappacinos too.” His eyes were begging and Eddie couldn’t even find it in him to lie, so he shook his head. “Oh thank god. One regular caramel latte with coconut milk coming right up!”

Eddie smiled softly as Richie made quick work of his drink. At this time of the morning, the place was rather quiet as most of the classes had started already. This allowed Eddie to hang out at the counter and chat to Richie until he had to go. “Thanks, I’m loving the apron, by the way.”

Richie flipped him off with a grin before slipping the coffee across the counter. Before Eddie could pay, Richie waved him off, “It’s on me, for Valentine’s Day. You’re my best customer.” He winked and Eddie had to fight back the blush daring to form on his cheeks. His thoughts wandered back to the card and he thought about asking Richie if he was the one to send it, but decided not to. If it wasn’t Richie, then Eddie was going to be so embarrassed and never step foot into that coffee shop ever again.

“Thank you,” Eddie settled with and took a sip from the cup. “How are you spending the day then?” He asked. “I’m going to my one class and then back to my dorm to watch Netflix and pass out.” He explained and Richie snorted.

“Not sure yet, a few friends of mine asked me out for drinks but...it all depends. Never know what the day might bring,” he shrugged and Eddie was tempted to ask him what he meant by that, but once again bit his tongue. “Shouldn’t you be heading to class? It’s almost 11am?”

Eddie’s eyes shot to the clock and he swore, grabbing his coffee and waving a quick goodbye to Richie. As he walked, he drank most of his drink before disposing of it in a trashcan, completely missing the penned note on the side from Richie that read; “Can’t stop thinking about you. Dinner? Call me? - Richie x”

* * * * *

The rest of the day passed by uneventfully and Eddie headed home as soon as he was finished studying in the library. Bill was gone when he got home and so were the cards, thank goodness. He dumped his bag by the door and fell onto his bed, flicking on Netflix and trying to get comfortable.

He was about three episodes of ‘The Punisher’ when he heard his dorm room bell ring. He rolled his eyes, assuming Bill had forgotten his keys again and he rolled out of bed to let him in. Only when he opened the door, it wasn’t his roommate on the other side, but Richie. Richie, who was holding flowers in his hand, held out towards Eddie.

“Richie?” Eddie asked, his mouth going a little dry as he looked from Richie’s face, back to the flowers. “What- what are you doing here?”

Richie flushed, “I’m hoping that you just didn’t see the note I put on your coffee this morning and that I’m not about to overstep my boundaries.” He cleared his throat. “Eddie, I know it’s late, but...I couldn’t stop thinking about you.” He bit his lip, waiting for Eddie’s reaction.

It was at the sentence that it clicked for Eddie. Richie was the one who sent him the card this morning. “You- the card? It was you all this time? Really?” He asked and Richie nodded his head, cheeks flushed. “I wanted it to be you, but I didn’t want to ask and embarrass myself if it wasn’t you. You mean so much to me.”

At that, Richie grinned, taking a step closer and holding out a hand, “Well that...that is really good to hear.” He held the flowers out and this time Eddie accepted them. “Wanna go to Taco Bell with me?” He asked and Eddie laughed, nodding his head as he grabbed his coat, taking Richie’s hand as they left the dorm building.

Maybe this years Valentine’s Day wasn’t so bad after all.

* * * * *

@3tothe1 @anellope @annxmatron @appojoos @are-you-reddie-for-it @beepbeeprichiellc @bi-bi-richie @billdenbrough @bitchbrak @callmechee @dadbodrichie @derrylosers @disneyfan567 @eddiekaspprak @eds-trashmouth @eduardoandale @girasol-eddie @gloire-celeste @halfway-happy353 @hawkinsbabe @inthebreadbinwrites @itfandomprompts @its-stranger-than-you-think @jem-carstairs-is-perfection @kat-ships-everything @lifesucksheres20bucks @loserslibrary @losers-gotta-stick-together @madi-artist @mars-14 @marsisaplanetyall @moonlightrichie @nancynwheeler @no-she-wasnt-reddie @oldguybones @photoboothreddie @pink-psychic @purplepoisonedgem @queen-sock @ransonelovebot @rebecca-the-queen @reddie-for-anything @reddie-to-cryy @reddieforlove @reddiesetandgo @richietoaster @richietoizer @roobarrtrashmouth @rreddies @s-onora @s-s-georgie @sashadrowned @sedanleystanley @sloppybitchreddie @sparklingrainbowdragon @spirited-marvel @stellarbisexual @studpuffin @takeourpure @that-weird-girls-blog @thegoshdiddlydangdoor @thejadeazalea @thorn-harvester-ven @tinyarmedtrex @tozier-boy @tozierking @toziesque @trashmouthtozierr @twoidiotsinl0ve @ultrapaninibred @vanity190 @violetreddie @virgo-luthie @wilding-throught-thehallways @xandertheundead  

[eddieeatsass]

Stripped Bare - Chapter 2

Summary: Eddie gets an offer from his company to work in Barbados over the summer. Beautiful weather, all expenses paid trip, and a stay in a suite at one of the most highly rated resorts in the world. How could he say no? Unfortunately, Eddie soon realizes there were a lot of reasons to say no. His skin doesn’t take kindly to the harsh sun, his suite ends up being the size of a shoe box, and, oh yeah, it’s also a nudist resort. Pairing: Reddie (side Benverly and Stanlonbrough) Rating: E Warnings: Eventual smut, explicit language

Read on AO3

“So yeah, she’s probably one of the most bad-ass people I’ve ever met.” Bill finished off his story with a thoughtful nod, as if he was lost in his own memories while recalling them. “I would not want to be on the wrong side of Beverly’s fury.” He explained as an after thought.

Eddie had been listening to Bill talk about his best friends for 10 minutes. Technically, they were on the job, but no one had flagged down Eddie yet and he welcomed the distraction from the naked bodies he still hadn’t gotten used to. Plus, it was cute the way Bill’s eyes lit up as he talked about his friends. Eddie secretly hoped he could be on that list one day.

“And then there’s Richie.” Bill started back up, a fond smile accompanying his words.

Eddie leaned against the lifeguard chair that they were both standing under and focused on the way Bill’s lips moved as he talked.

“He’s a huge fucking dork. I love him, but I mean that guy has a bigger comic book collection than anyone I’ve ever met. He also never shuts up, we call him Trashmouth because-”

As Bill continued describing his friend in great detail, Eddie found himself thinking about Stan. He felt kind of guilty that he’d tricked Stan into coming. He’d be arriving later that day and he had no idea what to expect. Eddie had been there for a few days now and, granted, it did get a little easier once you got into the habit of keeping direct eye-contact with everyone you meet, but it still wasn’t comfortable. Stan was going to hate it, was going to hate him.

“Anyway, they should be here soon, you’re gonna love them.”

“W-what?” Eddie stared at Bill dumbfounded. Clearly, he’d missed something important when he zoned out.

Bill just laughed, not taking any offense to Eddie’s spaciness.

“Richie and Bev, I mentioned earlier that they come here every year. I get an employee discount that extends to friends and family, so they usually spend the majority of the summer bothering me while I work.”

“Oh, that actually sounds kind of fun, having your best friends around.”

“It’s fun until the 3rd time Richie pretends to drown just to get me riled up.”

Eddie laughs at that visual, picturing a big dramatic scene ending with Bill stone-faced as he returns to his lifeguard post, now unnecessarily wet. The image is enough to make Eddie completely miss the new presence suddenly behind him.

“I hate you.”

Eddie recognized the monotone drawl immediately. He doesn’t turn around though, is too afraid to face Stan right away. Instead he keeps his gaze trailed on Bill who is flicking his eyes back and forth between Eddie and the face behind him, silently questioning the situation.

“You’re not gonna turn around?” Stan asks.

“Mmm, nope. I like it here.” Eddie responds matter-of-factly, planting his feet a little more firmly in place.

Bill’s confusion finally gets the best of him. He peeks around Eddie’s body slightly, addressing Stan directly as he introduces himself.

“Oh yeah, sorry, Bill this is Stan. Stan, Bill.” Eddie supplies without moving.

“Nice to meet you, I think?” Bill says hesitantly, checking Eddie’s face for confirmation.

“Don’t mind him. He’s just worried I’m gonna be mad that he tricked me into working at an all-you-can-ogle buffet for the summer.” Stan says.

“Are you?” Eddie asks.

Stan sighs, but Eddie could hear the smile when he spoke. “No, I’m not mad. Confused, maybe.”

The second Eddie had confirmation that he could let go of his anxiety, he was whirling around to face Stan and talking at the speed of light.

“Oh thank god because I wasn’t sure I’d be able to survive this summer without you here! I mean this is so weird, right? Like ‘excuse me sir can I have a towel’ oh yeah sure let me just wade through this sea of naked bodies to bring you a towel that you won’t actually use to cover anything up. And this can’t possibly be sanitary, right? How often do these patio chairs get cleaned? And the water, I mean how many people do you think have free-peed in there today alone? AND WHAT ABOUT BONERS!?”

Stan has his hands on Eddie’s arms before he could spiral any further. Stan chances a glance over at Bill and is surprised he’s still standing alongside them. He gives Bill a mental check-mark for being able to deal with Eddie’s neurosis and then turns his attention back to the task at hand.

“We’ll deal with it.” Stan says, his tone surprisingly convincing.

Eddie nods in agreement. “Okay, yeah, we’ll deal with it.” He repeats.

Having gotten that out of his system, and with the new presence of his best friend, Eddie actually sported a real smile for the first time since he’d arrived at the resort.

“Why are you here so early, by the way?” Eddie asks, once he realizes what time it is.

Stan shrugs. “They got me a direct flight.”

Eddie’s jealousy shows in the way his nose crinkles up. He didn’t get a direct flight.

Stan just smiles and opts to change the subject.

“So, our supervisor is hot.”

Bill and Eddie both agree embarrassingly fast, looking at each other afterwards and sharing a laugh.

Stan got a grasp on things considerably faster than Eddie did. A week and a half in and Eddie was still struggling with the environment, years of sexual repression making it hard to normalize it in his mind. Stan, on the other hand, had adopted a rather naturalistic approach.

“Bodies are not inherently sexual, Eddie.”

Eddie huffed out a groan in Stan’s direction. They were in the supply room grabbing towels for guests, Eddie taking a purposefully long time just to avoid going back out there.

“I know that, Stan.” Eddie bit back with no real bite.

“We’re born naked, it’s normal. None of these people are here for sex, just to enjoy their time in the freedom of their body.”

“It’s not normal to see your neighbor, doctor, and teacher’s dick.”

“None of these people are your neighbors, doctors, or teachers. You don’t live here.” Stan challenged.

“You know what I mean!” Eddie rushed in response.

“Try and think of it this way, you’re never going to see these people again. So what if you know what Mr. Fraser’s dick looks like? In a few months it’s just going to be irrelevant information your brain stores away to be forgotten.”

Stan had a point. It’s not like Eddie was going to form any type of meaningful relationships with any of the guests. This was strictly professional, and the same way that you don’t remember every customer’s face, you also won’t remember every customer’s genitals.

“Are you about done folding those towels or do you need another minute?” Stan teased, nodding towards the small stack of towels he’d been folding and refolding to procrastinate for as long as possible.

“Yeah, I guess.” Eddie conceded, tucking the towels under his arm and following Stan out of the room.

They made their way back out to the deck and distributed towels to the guests who had requested them. Just as Eddie had handed the last two towels over to an older couple, he heard a voice calling him over.

A few seats over from where Eddie stood, a hand was waving at him. Being caught off guard, Eddie didn’t have time to concentrate on keeping his head eye level, and boy was that the biggest mistake of his life.

The man in question was unmistakably naked, that much wasn’t surprising given where they were, but what was surprising was that he was hot. So far, Eddie had counted himself lucky that he hadn’t seen any guests that he found particularly appealing, but this guy changed that real fast. He was tall, Eddie could tell even though he was sitting down. He had long limbs that stretched out from his body in an almost lanky way, but it worked for him somehow. He was well defined but not obnoxiously so, and atop his head was an unruly mop of black hair that mimicked the dark happy trail that lead down to…

The biggest cock Eddie had ever seen in his young life.

Well, fuck. If he hadn’t been staring before, he definitely was now. How could someone be so big while flaccid? Eddie almost bypassed being turned on just to admire how impressive that length was.

“Excuse me?” The voice rang through the space again, bringing Eddie’s eyes up to meet the pair gazing towards him. He didn’t look like he’d noticed Eddie staring, but then again, maybe he was just being polite? Oh god, or what if he had noticed and now he was calling Eddie over to tell him off. No, this guy didn’t look like the type to chew Eddie’s head off.

Eddie kind of wanted him to chew his head off... But, in a sexy way.

“Sorry to interrupt your inner monologue, I was just wondering if you could get me something from the bar?”

Eddie’s throat was dry. Something from the bar sounds great right now. He could chug a gallon of water right on the spot and still be dehydrated. He realizes with a start that he still hasn’t said anything since being waved over and the guy was probably starting to wonder if Eddie was mute.

“Yes.”

Okay, great job Eddie. That’s a start. Now just continue with what you say every day.

“What can you get me.”

Nope, that’s not it.

The stranger’s eyebrows shot up, a smirk that had no business being so charming taking over his features.

“I don’t know, what do you want?”

Okay, so the stranger was smoother than Eddie could ever dream to be, but he was also teasing Eddie, and in any other circumstance he’d be peeved. But this wasn’t any other circumstance, and Eddie had to admit it was kind of endearing.

“What can I get you.” Eddie corrected himself, choosing to ignore the man’s last comment.

He chuckles. It’s deep and throaty and Eddie wants to swallow it whole.

“Just a virgin sex on the beach, please.”

“You’re a virgin!?” Eddie blurted out, before his brain could catch up with his mouth.

The stranger seemed to stall for a moment, before his grin grew even wider than before.

“Well, I haven’t had sex on the beach, if that’s what you’re asking. Too much sand getting in too many places.” He played along.

Eddie didn’t want to think about this man’s ‘places’. Eddie wanted to die.

He decided quickly that the only way he would get out of this interaction with at least some of his dignity left intact was if he left as soon as possible. Clearly his mouth couldn’t be trusted, and neither could his eyes, apparently, since they were already wandering back down the man’s body on their own accord.

Eddie forced his eyes to the ground and mumbled a quick “I’ll be right back with your drink.” Which he’s surprised to get out without some sort of slip up. His feet were carrying him away before he even got an answer. He was headed in the wrong direction, not even relatively close to the bar, but he couldn’t get himself to turn back around. Now that he’d put distance between him and the hot stranger, his heart had started beating irregularly fast, and it wasn’t because of a panic attack this time.

Eddie flung the door to the storage room open, startling one of his co-workers who was exiting the room. Eddie gave him a meek smile, a “sorry for almost beheading you with the door” apology. The co-worker, who Eddie wouldn’t be able to name even if he cared to try, just returned the smile and passed by Eddie.

He only waited a few seconds before slamming the door shut behind him and slumping against the surface, face pressed into the hard wood. He groaned audibly as he let the embarrassment finally swallow him whole.

“Poor Jack is going to be traumatized now.”

Eddie just about jumped out of his skin at the sound of another voice near him. He turned around to see Stan leaning against the wall with an amused smirk.

“Who?” Eddie asked.

Stan nodded towards the door. “You threw that door open so violently I thought the poor boy was going to shit his pants.”

Eddie felt bad now, knowing he may have given his co-worker PTDS, post-traumatic door stress. Jack may never be the same.

“So, are you done being dramatic or do you need another minute?” Stan asked.

Eddie walked over to the stack of clean towels neatly folded on the counter, calmly placed his elbows on either side, and proceeded to smother his face in the fresh cotton. He let out the loudest, longest groan he could, letting the sound muffle through the layers beneath him. He kept going until there was no air left in his lungs, and then, taking a deep breath, he lifted his head back up to face Stan.

Stan’s eyebrows were raised as he waited for an answer beyond a groan.

“I saw a cute guy.” Eddie offered.

“Okay.”

“I made an idiot of myself.” He added.

“Mhm.”

“I need you to bring him a virgin sex on the beach, so I can spend the rest of the day wallowing in my misery.”

“Eddie,” Stan sighed. “You can’t just avoid him.”

“I can and I will.” Eddie declared stubbornly.

They had a stare down for a few moments, until Stan finally took pity on his best friend.

“Fine, what does he look like?”

Eddie proceeded to describe the stranger, leaving out the part about his big dick and stunning physique. Once Stan was pretty sure he couldn’t miss him, he left, leaving Eddie alone with the towels and his shame.

  Eddie managed to go three days without seeing hot stranger again. He didn’t see much of anyone, actually. Bill had switched his shifts around with another staff member for a couple of days while his friends got adjusted to being in town. Eddie had yet to meet them, the infamous Richie and Beverly, but he was sure it was only a matter of time. The resort wasn’t that big, after all.

Stan had gotten heat stroke within his first few days of working, so he was on mandatory bed-rest, per Mike’s instructions, until he felt well enough to work again.

This left Eddie working his shift one man down, and alongside employees he hadn’t gotten to know yet. He supposes he could try and be more social, chat up the lifeguard who’d taken Bill’s shifts, but the woman who now sat up on Bill’s lifeguard chair had a look of judgement in her eyes that reminded Eddie too much of his mother. It made his solitude much more enticing.

The day dragged on. Since Eddie was the only pool boy working that day he was constantly running back and forth to fetch things for the guests. He thought he’d finally caught himself a minute of downtime when someone new was waving him over. With a discreet sigh he steeled himself, plastering a customer service smile on his face before he made his way over.

The hand belonged to a girl, probably around Eddie’s age if he had to guess, who was easily stunning enough to be a model. Eddie was as gay as they come but that didn’t mean he didn’t have his few exceptions, and this girl could definitely be one. He didn’t want to fuck her, that would be a bit too much whiplash for his dick, but he did want to spend hours running his fingers through her hair and telling her just how pretty she was.

Speaking of, her hair was the most striking color of crimson he’d ever seen in real life. It was long, falling down her freckled back and ending at the dip in her waist. Despite being completely nude, she had a delicate gold chain around her neck that settled just between her breasts, adorned with a small key. It looked old, worn in, and Eddie found himself starring at it before he realized it probably looked like he was staring at something else in that area. He flushed pink before his eyes flickered back up to meet hers, a daring blue that rivaled the red of her hair but held the same fire.

“Hi! Sorry, I know you’re busy. I was just hoping to get a glass of lemonade when you have a chance?” Her request was accompanied by a warm smile. It made Eddie feel safe. It was an odd feeling, but not unwelcomed.

“Pink or regular?” Eddie asked, only a bit shaken by her politeness in contrast to the other guests he’d served that day.

“Just regular. But no rush!”

She sounded so genuine that Eddie couldn’t help but smile back. Just then, as if to drive home his point, he was being called over by another guest as she rudely snapped her fingers in his direction.

It took about ten minutes before he found the downtime to pick up the lemonade from the bar. He made sure to get the bartender to garnish the glass with a little wedge of lemon and an umbrella. It was silly, and probably too extra for something as simple as a lemonade, but he liked this particular guest and wanted to do something special, even if it came in the form of miniature plastic umbrellas.

He made his way over to the area where he’d last seen the redhead but instead of sitting in the spot she’d been in previously, she’d moved a few chairs over and was now talking to another guest. From their body language, Eddie guessed they didn’t know each other, but they were definitely trying to. The redhead was sitting on the edge of the chair, leaning in to listen intently to whatever the guy was saying.

He was extremely animated as he talked, his face lit up in an endearingly cute manner. He seemed to be a tall guy, but while hot stranger had been tall and lanky, this man was tall and broad, filling out his frame with strong arms and a round belly. He was quite hairy, but not in an off-putting way. Blonde locks eased into neatly trimmed facial hair, a round beard that framed his equally round cheeks perfectly. Eddie knew from a quick glance that he was hairy in other places too, but he didn’t want to be caught staring again, so he forced himself to behave.

Eddie wasn’t sure how to approach the situation, to be honest. He didn’t want to interrupt their conversation, which they were both too engrossed in to notice him awkwardly standing nearby, but the lemonade in his hand was keeping him from getting back to work. Not that he wanted to get back to work, standing around and people watching (see: eavesdropping) was definitely favorable, but he didn’t want to get behind on an already busy day. Just as he was preparing himself to step in, a presence from behind spoke up.

“You better jump in now before she jumps him.”

The voice was right in his ear, it startled Eddie so much he lost his footing as he tried to swivel around to see who was behind the comment. He saw a flash of black hair and dark eyes receding quickly from his vision, and he realized too late that he was falling. He tried to put his hands out behind him to catch himself but was enveloped by water instead. The water quickly filling his lungs burned, his wet clothes weighed him down, the chlorine stung his eyes. He knows how to swim, knows he should be trying to, but he’s too overwhelmed by the suddenness of the situation to think clearly.

Then there were arms circling around him, a strong pressure against his back, and in seconds he’s breaking the surface of the water. The body behind him doesn’t let go, which Eddie is grateful for considering he’s too busy coughing to focus on anything else. He can tell they’re moving but his orientation is all off, he can’t differentiate up from down yet.

He’s being pressed up against the edge of the pool within seconds. His head is still cloudy with water and panic, but the feeling of steady ground against the palms of his hands helps to ground him. He vaguely starts to register that his feet don’t touch the ground of the pool, and the only thing keeping him up is being pinned between the ledge and the stranger behind him.

At that realization, Eddie swiveled his head around, trying desperately to figure out who had been his savior. The face was too close, featured fixating into nothing more than a blurred cyclops from Eddie’s vantage point. He blinked a few times, trying to get the water out of his eyes as if that would make a difference. When he opened his eyes again, the stranger had leaned back as much as he could without letting go of Eddie, and that’s when he realized who had saved him.

Hot stranger. Hot stranger was holding him. Hot stranger was appraising him with a look of worry. Hot stranger was… Shit, he was saying something that Eddie couldn’t hear through the water in his ears.

“What!?” Eddie said, probably a bit too loudly.

Hot stranger chuckled, his smile even more charming up close. When he repeated himself this time, Eddie heard him clearly.

“You really fell for me, didn’t you?”

He was… making a joke? Right now? While Eddie was dripping wet and fighting back mortification and still struggling to get his breathing back under control? What kind of asshole makes a joke before apologizing?

Eddie knew his anger was unwarranted, a by-product of his ever-growing embarrassment, but just because he was self aware didn’t mean he was good at controlling it.

Choosing not to acknowledge the comment, Eddie sent him a glare over his shoulder. He tried wiggling in his spot, searching for leverage to pull himself out of the pool while still wedged between a rock and a hard place. He re-settled his palms on the granite surface beneath him, ready to hoist himself up and out of the pool, when he felt it. The hard place.

Hot stranger was still holding him up from behind, lithe arms circled around Eddie’s torso and chest pressed to his back, crotch rested against the curve of Eddie’s ass. The thing was, hot stranger was still naked. Meaning, Eddie had a cock pressing right up into the backside of his wet uniform, which clung to him much more now than when it was dry.

What happened next isn’t Eddie’s fault. It’s biology, a Pavlovian reaction. Eddie’s gay and right now there was a dick pressing against his ass. That does something to a guy.

“Get off me!” Eddie seethed, grabbing hot stranger hands and removing them from his body. He bobbed down in the water at the sudden loss of support but managed to keep a hand on the edge of the pool which aided him to hoist his body up and roll onto the deck, much less gracefully than he would have liked.

The redheaded lemonade girl from earlier, who had probably been watching the whole show unfold, was offering him her towel. It was a nice gesture, but Eddie couldn’t risk getting caught with a hard-on, especially not while working at a place like this, so without a word he pushed past her, running towards the doors to the storage room.

He didn’t worry about anyone else being in there, threw the doors open and let them shut behind him with a thud as he paced towards the back of the room. He removed his soaked clothing in the process, stripping down to his underwear and grabbing a clean towel when he reached the small hidden alcove.

He wasn’t proud of his next move, screwing his eyes shut before shoving his hand into his briefs unceremoniously. He brought the fresh towel to his face to soak up some of the water as his hand moved rapidly, spurred on by his anger and embarrassment and shame. It didn’t take long for him to release into his fist, his moan muffled by the towel. Once his breathing evened out again and his head was clear, he rid himself of his sullied underwear and wrapped the towel around his waist.

He gathered his discarded clothing, moving slower now, almost lethargic. He threw the garments into one of the empty washing machines, throwing in a few of the used towels that were piling up as well, so he could at least pretend he was still doing work. Then Eddie slid to the floor, hung his head between his knees, and began making a list of all the things he wanted to yell at that stupid, arrogant, unfairly hot stranger.

[justadadonthenet]

dude imagine the loser’s club as mutants from xavier’s school

(All under cut)

Rich: he’d so be quicksilver, look at Evan Peters’ quicksilver and tell me that isn’t richie,,,he’d have shitty silver curls that’d look ridiculous and would wear band tees and converse that would constantly be replaced cause he has adhd and s p r i n t s without realizing it. Whenever he gets excited all his movements are sped up and eds has to constantly remind him to slow down. He’s always late to everything (somehow) but he’s the smartest in the class. He loves it when wade visits the school and likes messing with him

Bill: so bill has this insane ability to remember every detail occurring in his surroundings and is able to transmit information to other people by touching them. It’s fucking amazing. Because of his memory he can tell such amazing stories and remember those he has read. The younger kids at school always gather around him while he tells them. He can bring forth certain memories in other people and uses this to his advantage in combat as well as helping the kids understand the stories better.

Stan: he has fucking wings okay he is Angel, except his wings are like a barn owl. Usually he can’t sleep at night, and just stays up playing with bill’s hair while he sleeps. He takes a bunch of naps during the day (bill just shares his memory of the lecture with him when this happens). He barely weighs anything but is strong as all hell

Bev: she has pyrokinetic abilities that were super hard to control when she was younger, her dad would scream at her for accidentally burning things, and the more worked up she got the harder it was to control. One night she couldn’t take it anymore and got so angry she almost burned her house down. Xavier found her after hearing about a pyromaniac child in Maine

Eddie: has self healing abilities and, after lots of practice, learned to heal others. Richie always gets blisters from so much running and Eddie just shakes his head and fixes him up every day. He also helps bev stay calm by regulating her body heat, and he and richie always have to help her to calm down (eddie won’t get hurt, and richie thinks he’s helping by fanning her at the speed of sound). He’s impossible to hurt in combat because as soon as anything painful is inflicted it disappears. Only downside to this dude is that he’s 5’3” (also kind of helps, because nobody expects this kid to actually fight them)

Mike: can turn into any animal he can think of, and can communicate with them even when he’s not in the same form as them. He has a specific mark that appears on all his transformation, making it easier for the losers to distinguish between him and an actual animal. He loves trying to race richie as a cheetah, and racing Stanley as an eagle.

Ben: Ben can read emotions and, to an extent, alter them. He has to be making contact with the person (It helps immensely with bev, but he can’t help her until she’s not on fire.) after Bev got especially worked up one day, Ben realized that the closer he was to someone (emotionally) the further away (physically) he could be to influence their emotions

Extras:

-I’m sorry richie does literally everything Evan Peters quicksilver does, except he has the same mouth as wade Wilson

-bill adores Stan’s wings so much cause they’re so soft and beautiful. In the light they’re almost golden, and (in bill’s opinion) they match Stanley’s hair amazingly

-sometimes stan runs up to him, grabs bill around the waist, and takes off. Bill SCREAMS the first time he does it, but now it’s a regular thing.

-rich think it’s stupid that they’re allowed to be cute and tries to do a similar thing to Eds

-eddie nearly has an asthma attack, and he doesn’t even have asthma

-“god Eds you’re no fun” “richie who the fuck wants to be held by you running 120 miles per hour?!” “Aw cmon I was faster than that wasn’t I?”

-richie can’t listen to any music that’s even remotely slow, it’s too boring

-he tries to rap. It’s terrible

-sometimes stan perfectly times a landing, just so he can swoop richie up while he’s being a pest

-richie SHRIEKS

-the teachers don’t know what to do with these kids

-colossus hates richie more than he hates wade

-negasonic also hates richie (but also loves him and is his friend because that kid has a good taste in music and it’s fun to try to blast richie before he realizes what’s happening)

-wade would adore the losers so much

-“look, you sexy Russian metal motherfucker, these are my sons” “wade, no” “I mean they have such resemblance. They’re both gay, one can heal and one knows bad words”

-“dad?! You’re back?!” “Richie stop”

-wade is the only one willing to babysit all of them (and he loves it)

-“holy shit! You can fucking become fire! How hot can you get?! Burn my fucking arm off!”

-he somehow also HELPS Bev control her anger/abilities

-“Hey eddie, can you fix this ballsack of a face for me?”

“Nobody could do that”

*sheds single tear*

“That burn is worse than anything Molly ringwald could’ve given me”

Bev, from down the hall: “WANNA BET ON IT WILSON”

-“I thought you were me AND richies dad? That just makes this incestuous. I’d be dating my brother” “you’re right...I have to disown one of you”

-richie, appearing in the room: “DADDY NO”

-wade adopts richie. No literally. He adopts him. He hates how richies parents treated him, and somehow adopts him (richie may have ran away from home, and may have figured out how to remove his records from all government data bases)

-“Hey Logan now I have a kid too, but mines cooler”

-laura: *runs at richie, screaming*

Richie: *SCREECHES and climbs up wade*

-laura kind of takes a liking to richie after realizing he’s terrified of her

-she loves sneaking up on him, and he basically turns into her big brother. He knows when to mess around and when to be serious, and is super soft with her

-Logan tried to keep her away from that kid, but she would have one of her legendary tantrums

-richie learned some Spanish cause he was the only one who could process her ramblings fast enough

-“wow they’re like brother and sister. Maybe we should elope”

-negasonic gets all soft with Laura and she speaks to her in Spanish and makes sure her thoughts are heard

-wade gets a lil more serious after being with the kids.

-Stanley acts like he hates him cause cmon it’s like having a Richie you can’t physically injure

-but the conversations they have when wade is being sincere help stan so much

-tries to shield mike from the world and barely swears around him

-richie: “shit”

Wade: *GASPS AND COVERS MIKES EARS*

-wade helps all of the kids at Xavier’s with sexuality and understanding it (and is unnaturally serious for the most part)

-“the guest sex Ed teacher is our very own wade Wilson!” “It’s Deadpool, and I’m not an x-man, so you can shut that ‘very own’ shit down”

-petey parsley gets transferred to Xavier’s

-richie loves this kid and tries to befriend him as soon as he arrives

-“holy SHIT you’ve met tony stark?!” “Dude I work for him” “HOLY FUCK HE WORKS FOR IRON MAN EDDIE”

-“IM GONNA SPRINT. YOU TRY TO WEB ME TO THE WALL”

-richie just sprints into a wall cause peter doesn’t hit him in time

-“eddie I think I broke my dick...and my face...will you still love me if I look like wade?”

-Bev uses the tip of her pinky to light her cigarettes, she holds them like she’s going to take a drag but sticks her pinky up and lights it while bringing it toward her mouth and richie LOSES HIS SHIT OVER IT

Thank you for coming to my ted talk

[surflove808]

All things “queerbait”, “so gay”, cranky shippers, etc ad infinitum.  Here’s my long-ass essay on why I think it’s destructive to this show and fandom mentality in general.  Part 1 :D

This is going to be sooo long.  Because I am sooo fed up with the bullshit I keep seeing on here.  So, I am going to break this into 2 parts.  Part 1 deals with the show and its FICTIONAL characters.  Part 2 will deal with the actual actors involved in making this show.  I'm pissed because what could have just been supposition and discussion among fans took a wrong turn somewhere, and turned into a forum for bullying and scandalizing the actors/show.  And seeing that even when they try to have a sense of humor about it, or be ingratiating to the fans about it, it always backfires on them....and ultimately, something that should be harmless (a ship) has become a toxic force of nature.

I'm going to give my 2 cents on the most annoyingly common misconceptions that I've seen being used as more can(n)on fodder because if I post and get this reblogged enough, maybe, just maybe... more people can be exposed to a more balanced interpretation.  

My problem is not with the possibility of Dean being gay/bi. My problem is not with Dean and Cas possibly exploring a romantic relationship.  Not at all.   My problem is with the dedicated and rabid group of people that have gone over the top with their harassment on public forums regarding these characters sexuality, and linking it to the real, live human beings that portray them.  Both crossing and blurring lines in a very destructive way, on Tumblr, Facebook, Twitter, Youtube, you name it... This show has so many incredible themes and messages regarding friendship, love, loyalty, trust, perseverance and family and THAT'S your takeaway?   An unhealthy obsession with Dean's sexual preference??

Dean, by virtue of his looks, charisma and personality, has chemistry with almost EVERYONE.  Have you noticed??  The character of Dean is written and portrayed as a naturally charismatic, flirtatious and sensual person.  He wholeheartedly dives into anything that he enjoys.  Eating, hunting, fucking, drinking.  He doesn't seem to really appreciate boundaries or restrictions.  So, what's stopping him from exploring his sexuality with men?  

As far as I can see, the character of Dean as originally conceptualized and executed brilliantly by his frigging creator, Eric Kripke, was then, as you see him now, many things.  But also hetero. He's also accepting, scarred, goofy, resilient, co-dependent, loving, protective, the list goes on and on.  

But what he is NOT and has NEVER been written as, is gay or bi.  And if you have a problem with that, that’s not a flaw in the program you’re watching.  That’s your problem.  If he undergoes character development that radically redefines not only how he sees himself, but how the viewer sees him, after 12 years?  That's a delicate task that I don't envy the writers having to undertake, considering, the only reason they would do that so late in the game, is because they caved to pressure from the "fandom".  And I use quotation marks there because, if you want an iconic character to represent your views?  Write them yourself.  Create them.  But don't try to bully your way into another persons creation.   Here's the kicker.  Out of 264 episodes that have aired so far, and countless canon instances of Dean being hetero.... here are the handful of examples that certain people have latched onto as gospel:

1. Dean and the Siren, season 4, episode 14, Sex and Violence:  I can't tell you how many times I've seen some Jr. detective go "A-HA!  Deans siren was a MAN!  Therefore, he is GAY!"  If you use just a smidge of deductive reasoning and pay attention to the season leading up to this episode, and the description of a siren that was helpfully included in the episode, you could easily and reasonably deduce that because a siren's powers of seduction come from the ability to be ANYTHING to ANYONE and be that persons greatest desire.... that it makes sense for the siren to take the form of a cool, non-judgemental, trustworthy younger brother-type who has the same taste in and love for music that Dean has.  Someone he can relate to.  A peer.

What do you get the man who can have almost any woman that he wants?  

Not a stripper, folks.  

And what does Dean really want?  At this point, he wants a brother who trusts his experience and instincts.  A  brother that he can trust.  A brother who doesn't feel like a complete stranger.  A friend, for fucks sake.  It's not implied.  It's not a theory.  It's literally written and discussed IN THE EPISODE, people.  Move on.

2.  Dean and Gunnar Lawless, season 11, episode 15, Beyond the Mat: If you know any guys who are into sports or bands, and have never seen them go batshit fanboy over one of their sports or music heroes...then you just haven't spent enough time with them on their turf.  

3.  Deans "gay thing", season 8, episode 13, Everybody Hates Hitler: If you've never been hit on when you weren't expecting it, especially by someone you weren't expecting it from, I could see why you couldn't comprehend his behavior.  If you HAVE, you were probably flustered by it. Probably didn't react as smoothly as you thought you would, amiright?  I know I haven’t.

It seemed he was flattered, but didn't know what to do with himself.  If he were bi/gay, and attracted to the possibility of a no-strings hookup with a willing and  anonymous stranger... a blow-and-go in the mens room, for example... I think Dean could/would have easily pursued it, based on his hit rate thus far.  The one area in which he has 100% confidence and zero shame, is sexual conquests. Sam wasn't around.  There was nothing holding him back.  So, aside from being uncertain of how to extricate himself from an awkward situation, and being flustered, I got nothin’.

4.  Dean and Dr.  Sexy, season 5, episode 8, Changing Channels:  Not much to say here.  Dean clearly had a man crush on Dr. Sexy.  Would he have boned him if given the chance?  Maybe.  Maybe not.  Ask a guy friend who idolizes Aaron Rogers or Eddie Vedder (for example) if he'd let them stick it in his pooper based on principle alone.  Chances are, that guy friend would probably say "Hall pass!"  If the situation actually presented itself though?  He might just gush over the guy and call it a day.  Who knows?  WE don't.

5.  Dean and Crowley: Again, ask a guy friend if he would share a room and triplets with a buddy if there were no consequences (girlfriend, things getting "weird, etc), and see what he says.  The answer may surprise you.  Maybe I just know a lot of uninhibited, sexy bastards!

6.  Dean and Benny:  Brothers in arms who go through intense combat together can and more often than not, DO form close bonds.  There was nothing in this friendship that even intimated at these two having any sexual or romantic designs on each other, yet.... people still try to make it work.  Bless their hearts.

7.  The Big One:  Dean and Cas:  Dean has had countless opportunities over the years to make a move.  And I DO believe he loves Cas, very much.  Cas clearly loves and admires Dean.  They have been through some serious shit together since day one, that neither Sam nor anyone else can compete with. But some very good advice I heard once, applies here (and this is why the 10-year crush turning into romance in rom-coms is such bullshit):  If someone likes you - you WILL know.  They will make a move.  Or you will.  And neither of you will take 10 + years to do it if there are no barriers (significant other).  And if a move is made and not reciprocated?  It's not because they or you is holding something back.  That's just a lie we tell ourselves.  SOMEONE is just not interested.  

Though I love their dynamic, I'm not a Destiel shipper, but I'm willing to go either way with this one.  I will say, I don't by any stretch of the imagination think the writers, actors or directors are 'queerbaiting", though.  That's like accusing a crush of leading you on when it was really in your head the whole time. Their chemistry is incredible.  But from what I've seen with my eyes, in the actual episodes, his relationship with Cas does not say unrequited love, sexual attraction or romance.  However, if I went by the slowed-down, out-of-context gifs that are prevalent on Tumblr, I could see where people get the idea.  And because these are two men who love, admire and respect each other and sometimes bicker like an old married couple, I suppose that makes them different than us and our best friends, somehow?  This makes me sad, because this is a unique show, in that it deeply explores mens relationships with one another (because they're human beings too), and they just can't do that without a group of immature people giggling behind their backs in the hallways because intimacy is so intimidating that it must be mitigated by making fun of it or spreading nonsensical theories about it.  Right?

Small wonder that heteronormative men, as a general rule, have so much social conditioning and shame to wade through when it comes to expressing love and care for their same-sex friends and family.  (Yes, men have problems too.  Not as many as us, by a long shot.  But this is one of them) 

You see, menfolk are expected to behave in a manfolk way, and if their behavior isn’t within the traditional and narrowly defined parameters as “hetero male”, they face the perceived stigma that accompanies “coming out”, which involves the very real fears of supposition, persecution, politicizing, backlash, gossip, undermining. etc.

This show has taken many chances.  And they’re not afraid to write for and represent LGBTQ characters.  But Chuck forbid that emotionally resonant, well-written, vulnerable and emotional male characters exist AND allow them to be straight.  Unthinkable!  And that snarky, gossipy, “tee-hee” mentality is just what enforces rigid gender roles on men and women in the 1st place.  Every post I see that giggles about Cas and Dean being gay for each other because....gifs...just throws us back 50 years.  Your words do have meaning, people.

If you want to know what you can do to pave the way for LGBTQ representation in entertainment and the world at large?  Take the small step of acknowledging that same sex characters can feel the same range of emotions that you do for your same sex friends.  Can have sustained eye contact.  Can love one another, and can tenderly care for one another without you sexualizing it, fantasizing about it and policing it.  I’m asking you to think about this, because this way of thinking affects everyone.  Gay, straight, etc. 

Season 1 Sam and Dean:  Hetero.  Sam in an LTR at beginning, Dean with potential to re-enter his relationship with Cassie.  

This show was marketed towards males in the 18-24 demographic, but curiously, more women are interested in these boys and their story.  Because they’re allowed to care without judgement.  Ahem.

 *As seasons go by...*  Clearly, judging by the polls and hate mail...neither brother can ever have or sustain a romantic relationship with a woman.  EVER again!*  And it as been widely acknowledged by the cast and producers that the fans don’t want to see the Winchesters spend too much time with what they deem as a threatening female.

Why do you think Castiel was even allowed to make it this far?  Sure, he’s an amazing character.  But if it were Anna who dragged Dean from Hell and ultimately stuck around?  Yeah, no.  That was never gonna happen.  

Basically, these fuckers can’t win.  If they’re hetero and stay hetero, that’s a bad thing.  If their characters do a 180 to please the most vocal (unfortunately) fans - then they’re caving in to pressure.

Either way, I think it's safe to say, us fans are ultimately invested (I hope) in these characters achieving happiness, wherever they find it.  And personally, I'll be happy either way.  But seeing this hyperbolic, over the top bullshit online that this crew are queerbaiting, etc...and that "If Destiel isn't made canon, I'm gonna do X,Y,Z..." is disgusting to me.  

The musings, wishful thinking and conspiracy theories are one thing.  And that's perfectly fine.  I’ve got nothin but love for fanficiton writers!  But drawing parallels and conclusions from some of the flimsiest crumbs available, and using that limited intel to cajole, threaten, bash and attempt to shame the actors, the crew, and the producers who work their asses off to bring us this amazing show, is pretty fucking shitty in my opinion.

These aren't public servants, guys.  We're not paying them to make this show.  If you want to know how a show on the CW gets funded and made - google it.  If you want to know how much of a time crunch/pressure cooker situation the writers are working in, not to mention the entire team in order to produce 23 episodes per season....again, google it.   And then tell me how they're able to not only craft compelling episodes and cram so much storyline, exposition, dialogue, character development, arc support, scheduling, casting, art direction, stunt coordination, set design, etc ad infinitum into each and every week, and STILL have time to drop easter eggs, and "queerbait"....

Just.  To.  Fuck.  With.  You.  And undermine LGBTQ efforts at representation? They are very kind and loyal to their fans.  And we DON'T OWN THEM.  If you don't like what you're seeing, don't watch.  But for fucks sake - do the fandom and yourselves a favor and direct your crusade towards ACTUAL threats to LBGTQ freedoms and rights.

Here's a list of places to lend support (to name a few): Family Equality Council Human Rights Campaign GLAD PFLAG Transgender Law Center Your local congressman, FFS

Rant over.  If you made it this far, thank you.  I owe you a fruit basket!  And feel free to engage, put me on blast if you want.  Let's have a discussion.  But if you agree with me at all, please reblog this.... just to give some folks another point of view.  

Blanket statement for those who are offended and have already called me an “asshole”, etc on their own tags:

1.  This is NOT by any stretch of the imagination an anti-shipper or anti-Destiel post.  I clearly stated that I don't have a problem with either.  And if it happened organically in the show, as opposed to under pressure?  More power to them.  And I do adore Castiel.

2.  This is NOT an anti-LGBTQ post.  Again, clearly stated throughout the post.

3.  This is NOT and never was anti-headcanon post.  We all have headcanons to some degree.   And If anyone wants to step up and tell me not to support an organization that's doing good work, just because I sunk their battleship... they can suck it.  I also belong to some of these organizations, and I'm pretty sure they're not as invested in your headcanon as you are.  And thejabberwock, I still admire your insights and posts, but am bummed that you missed the damn point of mine entirely.  Per your request, I have removed your association from the original post.

4.  This IS an anti-harassment post, directed at individuals who have taken this ship so far, that they've tainted the word and the concept for almost everyone else with their shitty, pushy behavior.  If this describes you?   I'm happy to have offended you.

5.  This IS an anti-ignorance post, directed at individuals who are presented with facts and reliable data from the writers, the actors and the episodes themselves, yet refuse to acknowledge anything out of their own headcanon.  Who insist on "knowing the truth" and using that arrogance to try to *Out* the characters, *Out* the actors and use threats and insults towards anyone who disagrees.  If you thought I was talking to you directly, after reading that?  I probably was.

6.  This IS an anti-misinformation campaign post aimed at clearing up some common misconceptions.

Lastly, reading comprehension is really crucial here.  I know it was a lot to read, I apologize for that. But if you're skimming through and picking and choosing something to be offended over, and continuing to feel personally persecuted regardless of whether or not that's the reality... rather than reading and understanding the entire message?  Well, there's nothing more I can say or do.  

[yahoo-roto-arcade-blog]

Starting pitcher ranks: Robbie Ray puts it all together in latest Shuffle Up

Robbie Ray has been a right answer thus far (AP)

Here’s the big one, the starting pitcher shuffle up. It’s going to look absurd in a day or a week because that’s how pitching is. This position is erratic, fickle, humbling.

[Fantasy Football is open! Sign up now]

What’s happened to this point is merely an audition. We’re trying to calibrate 5×5 value from here on out.

Players at the same price are considered even. The prices are used as a tool to compare the players, but they are not scientifically derived. I study the numbers as much as I can, but I am not a formula guy. I never will be.

I will not debate the injured pitchers. They’re ranked as a courtesy. If you know exactly when Syndergaard and Bumgarner are coming back and exactly how they’ll do, wonderful. Please share it with the rest of the class.

I retain the right to tweak this list in the 24 hours. Game on.

$36 Clayton Kershaw $33 Max Scherzer $32 Chris Sale $28 Zack Greinke $25 Stephen Strasburg $24 Corey Kluber $24 Carlos Martinez $23 Dallas Keuchel $22 Yu Darvish $22 Carlos Carrasco $21 Michael Fulmer $20 Chris Archer $20 Lance McCullers $19 Marco Estrada $19 Johnny Cueto

With Archer’s stuff, you wonder how he loses as much as he does. A 3.94 ERA since the beginning of 2016 is criminal, given how talented he is (he’s also fallen short of his FIP for three straight years, which makes you wonder what we’re not measuring). That said, Archer’s struck out double-digits in four of his last six starts, maybe he’s starting to get in a groove. His career shows a 3.19 ERA and 1.15 WHIP at home, 3.88 and 1.25 on the road . . . Estrada used to be a smoke-and-mirrors guy, a lesson about sneaky-soft contact and how fly-ball pitchers are misunderstood. But this year, he’s actually starting to dominate in other areas. He’s pushed the strikeout clip over 10, dropped the walks by a third. This is a high-end SP2 now.

$18 Jon Lester $18 Justin Verlander $18 Jacob deGrom $18 James Paxton $17 Robbie Ray $17 Gerrit Cole $17 Jake Arrieta $17 David Price

I don’t think we had enough fun with Ray’s 2016 season, let’s start with that. A 218-strikeout campaign tied to a 4.90 ERA? A bloated 1.47 WHIP? An 8-15 record? You couldn’t really trust him, though you knew he could strike out 10-plus in any turn.

Ray’s ERA has dropped to 3.00 this year, despite a K/BB that’s actually an eyelash worse. He’s added a dazzling curve to the arsenal, pushed the swinging-strike rate forward, improved with first-pitch strikes. A lot of the so-called luck stats (hit rate, homer rate, strand rate) were against him last year; this year, they’re for him. But with peripheral-suggested ERAs in the mid-to-low 3s, this is a breakout we can feel good about.

Mind you, some home success would be nice. Arizona is a tricky place to pitch, and Ray knows all about it: note the 6.75 ERA at home, 0.64 ERA in the road. Obviously we expect a significant merging of those two stats, and I’d never pitch Ray at Colorado, unless it was a very format-friendly concept. But when you mix shake and pour Ray’s component profile, I like what’s in the glass.

$16 Luis Severino $15 Sean Manaea $15 Jose Quintana $15 Jake Arrieta $14 Michael Pineda $14 *Alex Wood $14 Eduardo Rodriguez $14 Jose Berrios $13 Kyle Hendricks $13 Lance Lynn $13 Jeff Samardzija

Is it possible to throw too many strikes? With Shark Sandwich, you have to wonder. Look at that strikeout rate, 10.5/9. Walks have never been a problem, and this year his BB/9 is down to 1.38. These are Cy Young-contending numbers on their own; we know BB/K tells so much of the story.

Alas, it’s not the entire story. Samardzija has a bloated 16.1 HR/FB, his strand rate blows, his hit rate stinks too. So you have to decide what you want to pay for going forward — the front door ERA or the hocus-pocus one (3.14 FIP, 2.81 xFIP). He’s allowing line drives on 27.7 percent of his batted balls, which explains away a lot of the problems. I’ll expect a high-3s ERA the rest of the way, maybe low 4s, with good strikeout numbers. Alas, that’s a very startable pitcher in the Mound Wreckage of 2017.

I don’t have any strong answers on The Q. I just won’t go any lower on him based on back class. I also think he’s on a better team in a month or two.

$12 Ivan Nova $12 *Aaron Sanchez $12 Mike Leake $12 Sonny Gray $12 Trevor Bauer $11 *Madison Bumgarner $11 Rick Porcello $11 Marcus Stroman $11 Kenta Maeda $11 Alex Cobb $11 Brandon McCarthy $10 Julio Teheran $10 Jason Vargas $10 Dylan Bundy $10 Jake Odorizzi $10 J.C. Ramirez $10 Ervin Santana

If you want a smoke-and-mirror show, Santana checks most of the boxes. Despite his walk and strikeout rates both going in the wrong direction, he somehow has a 1.75 ERA — spitting in the face of a 4.10 FIP and 4.69 xFIP. His home-run rate is in line with his recent levels, but somehow he’s managed a .143 BABIP and a strand rate over 90 percent. Byron Buxton is great, but he’s not that great.

We can’t yell “regression!” and walk out of the room, you know that. But Santana’s ultimate give-back might be jagged to the point that he’s not even worth rostering. I don’t know how sophisticated the owners are in your league, but I’d be trying to sell. Maybe you can’t get something that makes sense. But you need to make an attempt.

Gray looked terrific before one awful inning at Cleveland, so I’m trying to keep my balance here . . .  Bauer still has lapses in command and concentration, but there’s probably signature-significance to a 14-strikeout start and his secondary ERAs are all much better than the front-door number  . . . McCarthy remains the most interesting athlete on Twitter, and he’s a pretty damn good pitcher when the health cooperates. He’s also well-versed in metrics and secondary thinking, a step ahead of many of his contemporaries . . . Nova is another winner of the Ray Searage lottery; you can live with those strikeout numbers when walks are eliminated . . . Lots of good fortune flashing for Bundy; a silly-high strand rate, a suspiciously-low BABIP. His strikeout rate is down to 6.2/9, which makes him very risky to me, especially in the AL East. Remember, that division has the best cumulative record and the best cumulative run differential. It’s still full of landmines and alligators . . . I really don’t know where Teheran went wrong, but we should at least note that he’s been a lot worse at home.

$9 *Noah Syndergaard $9 *Jameson Taillon $9 John Lackey $9 Dan Straily $9 Masahiro Tanaka $8 Derek Holland $8 Tanner Roark $8 Rich Hill $8 *Taijuan Walker $7 Michael Wacha $6 *Steven Matz $6 Matt Shoemaker $6 J.A. Happ $6 Jimmy Nelson $6 Adam Wainwright $6 Zack Wheeler $5 *Trevor Cahill $5 *Cole Hamels $5 Andrew Triggs $5 Matt Harvey $5 *Charlie Morton $5 *Matt Andriese $5 Joe Ross $5 Dinelson Lamet $4 *Felix Hernandez $4 Aaron Nola

My goal for this year is for everyone to see the truth with Aaron Nola.

I know pitching is a minefield right now, but I want to play in leagues where people think Aaron Nola is a Top 20 starter.

— scott pianowski (@scott_pianowski) May 3, 2017

Last calendar year for Aaron Nola: 6.55 ERA, 1.69 WHIP. I know it’s injury-related, but I don’t get the bandwagon. Let the narrative go.

— scott pianowski (@scott_pianowski) June 1, 2017

$4 Gio Gonzalez $4 Zack Godley $4 Brad Peacock $4 Drew Pomeranz $4 Mike Clevinger $4 *Nathan Karns $3 *Danny Duffy $3 Danny Salazar $3 Jaime Garcia $3 Antonio Senzatela $3 Kevin Gausman $3 Ian Kennedy $3 Ty Blach $3 *Jon Gray $3 Luis Perdomo $3 Patrick Corbin $3 Junior Guerra $3 Jharel Cotton $3 *Francisco Liriano $3 Jordan Montgomery $3 Josh Tomlin $3 Hyun-Jin Ryu $3 Ariel Miranda $3 Ricky Nolasco $2 *Julio Urias $2 German Marquez $2 Jerad Eickhoff $2 *Carlos Rodon $2 Kyle Freeland $2 Zach Davies $2 Jeff Hoffman $2 Eric Skoglund $1 *Vincent Velasquez $1 *Wei-Yin Chen $1 *Kendall Graveman $1 Matt Moore $1 Tyler Glasnow $1 *Hisashi Iwakuma $1 Jesse Hahn $1 Mike Foltynewicz $1 Daniel Norris $1 Jose Urena $0 Jason Hammel $0 Clayton Richard $0 Robert Gsellman $0 Andrew Cashner $0 Jeremy Hellickson $0 Phil Hughes $0 Matt Boyd $0 AJ Griffin $0 Jesse Chavez $0 R.A. Dickey $0 Chris Tillman $0 Wade Miley $0 Jhoulys Chacin $0 Mike Fiers $0 Hector Santiago $0 *Joe Musgrove $0 Amir Garrett $0 Jordan Zimmermann $0 Alex Meyer $0 Chad Kuhl $0 Matt Garza $0 Eddie Butler $0 Tyler Anderson $0 C.C. Sabathia $0 Matt Cain $0 Scott Feldman $0 Tyler Chatwood $0 Bartolo Colon $0 Ubaldo Jimenez $0 Jered Weaver $0 Mike Pelfrey

I could have differentiate the zero-dollar guys, but basically they’re all “unownable” and let’s leave it at that. Cashner is the funky name here, because he has a solid ERA that’s complete mirage. You can’t make it in today’s game when you walk more batters than you strike out. That is completely unsustainable.

Related:

[steddieasitgoes]

@steddiemas Day 11 Prompt: Pop/Alt Holiday Songs

Tags: Alcohol Consumption, Established Relationship, Santa Con, Karaoke, Steve Harrington Is A Tease

wc: 1596 | Rating: T

Read on ao3 | ao3 collection

Eddie’s had his fair share of wild nights bar hopping in Seattle. Sometimes with Steve, sometimes with the Corroded Coffin boys, sometimes alone desperate to break out of the deep-seated loneness that overtakes him every few years. 

But he’s never experienced anything quite like this. 

After a night of endless hopping, they find themselves at a karaoke bar in the heart of Downtown Boston packed with college students and young adults all dressed in their best Santa suits like them. Miraculously, they find an empty booth in the corner and stake their claim. 

Robin and Nancy collapse into each other, shedding their red coats over the worn edge as they do so. Jonathan and Argyle aren’t far behind, though Argyle stays fully in costume. (“I really think I should grow a beard, my dude,” he slurs for the hundredth time of the night as he shuffles across the cracking vinyl.) Steve goes next, sliding in next to Robin and then Eddie follows, nearly missing the seat entirely as the opening chords of Wham’s “Last Christmas” rips through the small bar from the stage across the room. A pair of best friends laugh their way through the opening words, absolutely massacring the song. 

“Oh god,” Steve groans. “They’re disrespecting Wham!” 

“That’s the point!” Robin giggles, moving to rest her head on his shoulder. “No one is supposed to sing good at karaoke! S’why we’re all here!” 

“We are not singing karaoke!” 

“You better turn that Grinch face of yours around because we absolutely are! Nance and I signed us all up weeks ago.” 

“You devious lesbians,” Eddie laughs before leaning around Steve to place a slobbery kiss on Robin’s head. “I owe you so much for this one.” 

“Buy us drinks and we’ll call it even!” 

It’s a fair deal as far as Eddie’s concerned so he quickly gets himself back on his feet and wades through the hoards of Santas until he gets to the bar. It’s just like any other dive bar he’s been in. Sticky countertops, shelves, and shelves of liquor, charming but overworked bartenders working and flirting their asses off for tips. He knows exactly what it’s like bartending and he doesn’t miss it. 

Though maybe he would have had more fun if the places he worked had events like this. At least he’d have people to make fun of beyond the sad drunks that became his regulars. 

Eddie returns five minutes later with a tray of mixed drinks and shots. If he’s being totally straight with himself, he’s not sure what he ordered. They look pretty though and judging by the puckered face on Robin and Jonathan’s faces, they must be mixed well. Lightweights the both of them. 

Needing the least bit of persuading, Eddie takes the stage first, serenading the crowd in a rock and roll rendition of “It’s Beginning to Look a Lot like Christmas” that goes off the rails given he sings it at double the speed. Argyle drags Jonathan up next, the two stumbling their way through “Feliz Navidad” — Argyle carries the Spanish sections while Jonathan squints at the teleprompter during the English bits. It’s a hilarious disaster that has the entire bar cheering them on. 

Nancy and Robin’s rendition of “Last Christmas” gets everyone going and suddenly a complimentary round of drinks ends up on their table as they belt out the final line. A few groups of strangers take the stage next. They’re decent but nowhere as entertaining as any of them. They’re only half watching at this point, too engrossed with their own conversations and carry-over argument over who the best-dressed Santa of the bunch is. 

(“Obviously s’not Eddie,” Nancy giggles. 

“You wound me, Wheeler,” Eddie gasps, clutching a hand over his jet-black fur coat. “Gothic Santa would have killed it in Seattle. You Bostonians don’t understand culture.”)

Another round of drinks materializes on their table and then they’re back in the karaoke rotation again. By the time Steve’s name is being called by the poor bar employee tasked with keeping things running smoothly, he’s the perfect amount of drunk that he doesn’t protest Eddie’s careful tugging. He doesn’t go willingly, but he’s sporting that crooked smile of his that tells Eddie he’s not exactly mad about the events transpiring in front of him. 

“See sweetheart,” Eddie croons, leaning into his space as he passes him the mic. “Just needed a little liquid courage. Now show the world how great of a singer you are.” 

“S’gonna be a disaster.” 

“Oh, definitely,” Eddie smiles, pecking his cheek. “But that’s the point!” 

Eddie doesn’t give Steve time to reach out and instead retreats to the booth. He slides in next to a giddy Robin as they both wait with bated breath for Steve to choose a song. A minute or two of silence passes before Steve looks up from the machine. The old stage lights cast a beautiful shadow over him. Eyes sparkling in the harsh fluorescents. Usually, Steve would be complaining about the godawful lights, but right now he’s winking at Eddie and practically skipping to the center of the stage. 

Another moment of silence passes before the bright cheery guitar of Britney Spears’s My Only Wish (This Year) floods the place. Steve starts rocking his hips to the beat, hand gripping the microphone tight enough that Eddie can see his knuckles turning white. The nerves evaporate from his body the minute he starts singing, though. If Eddie didn’t know better, he’d think Steve has been possessed by the spirit of the Princess of Pop. 

“I signed my letter that I sealed with a kiss,” Steve sings, throwing a hand over his lips before blowing a sloppy kiss in Eddie’s direction. And then he’s moving again, skipping around the stage as his Santa coat glides around behind him. 

By the time the second verse hits, Steve’s shimming out of the coat, putting on a show for the group of girls sitting at the front tables. Eddie wants to scream. Wants to stalk over to the girls and tell them to back the fuck up, but he’s held steady in his seat by Jonathan’s comforting hand and Steve’s unwavering gaze as he locks eyes with him across the hoards of people. 

“I want my baby, baby,” Steve scream sings, already losing the beat as his hips continue to sway. 

“Someone to love me, someone to hold!” Eddie shouts along with him as the rest of the table eggs him on. 

It’s chaos after that. Steve throws his Santa hat into the crowd, Robin’s on the table filming the entire thing on her ancient iPhone. “That’s your man, Munson,” Nancy wheezes, nudging Eddie’s ribs every time Steve turns to shake his ass for the excited crowd. 

Eddie’s absolutely captivated by the performance. When he first met Steve years ago he was uptight and reserved. It didn’t matter how much effort Eddie put into his conversations, it was like trying to pry open a bank vault. But when he finally cracked the code, Steve sparkled in a way Eddie couldn’t even dream about. 

Steve’s better now, more open with himself and who is he. Fully embraces the fun that life has to offer, but Eddie can tell there are moments when he retreats to that small boy who never got the attention he deserved. It’s what makes moments like this so much more amazing. Seeing Steve shine and live his best life, free from judgment is the best gift Eddie’s ever received. And he’s not about to miss a damn minute of it. 

When the bridge drops, Steve prances around the stage like one of Santa’s reindeer. He’s sporting a reindeer headband that someone threw up there and there are a handful of dollar bills crumpled up on the edge of the stage. Somehow it’s gone from a karaoke show to some erotic dance number as Steve shimmies around and tries to keep up with the words. 

Eddie’s never been more in love in his entire life. 

“Santa, that’s my only wish this year,” Steve sings the final line, holding out the note like he’s the Princess of Pop herself instead of some high school teacher. 

A standing ovation follows, but Eddie doesn’t have time to bask in the affection being thrown at his boyfriend because he’s moving through the crowd faster than he’s ever moved in his life. When he gets to the end of the stage, Steve practically dives into his arms. He wraps himself around Eddie, legs around his waist, arms around his neck and smiles that perfect, beautiful smile of his. His cheeks are flushed pink from the performance and the amount of liquor coursing through his veins and his eyes are big and bright. 

“What’d think? S’Santa gonna grant my wish?” Steve asks. 

“Sweetheart,” Eddie coos, ducking his head to get his lips on Steve’s. “You know I’ll be waiting for you under the tree in a big red bow.” 

[oopshidaisyy]

June Fic Recs

baby, i’d victoria your secret anytime by ghostsoldier Peter’s known Wade for a while now, so he can maybe see how this makes sense -- like, maybe Wade has a thing about going commando and just happened to have an old girlfriend’s panties lying around, one thing led to another…but… “And the bra?” Peter croaks. Peter/Wade (comicsverse), 4k, E

Perfecting by thingswithwings "Let me take care of you," Cecil murmured, quietly, wetly, words passed into Carlos's mouth like shared water. Carlos/Cecil, 7k, E Note: yall ever remember how cecilos is one of the best love stories ever written?? anyway, here’s some p*rn with emotions

tell all the truth (but tell it slant) by susiecarter It takes a while for Batman and Superman to work things out, once Clark comes back from the dead. Pretending to date each other in order to explain why Bruce Wayne and Clark Kent are in the same place so often? Doesn't help as much as you might think. Clark/Bruce, 33k, M Note: when i tell you the sn*der cut could never have anything on this......

i could be the thing you reach for in the middle of the night by gyzym Eames had always thought Arthur would be a morning person. Arthur/Eames, 5k, E

I Just Called to Say by thehoyden Aziraphale held out on having a telephone installed in the bookshop until 1921, mostly because Crowley kept badgering her about it, and Aziraphale was still feeling miffed about the fact that Crowley had slept through the telephone’s invention and a great many other things, as well. Aziraphale/Crowley, 4k, E Note: ineffable wives!!!!

thanks to the full moon in scorpio by firstaudrina No one was paying any attention at all to Alec, so Alec kept paying attention to Magnus. Magnus/Alec, 6k, M

first encounter with the enemy by thingswithwings "Look at you, all riled up," she breathes, jerking her chin towards Amy. "I shoulda known. You always get like this when you get competitive." Rosa/Amy, 2k, T

apotropaic by arriviste Enjolras claims France for his mother and for his lover and for his bride, but on this one night, perhaps, Grantaire sees Death at his shoulder: it is Death Enjolras is in love with, Death who whispers in his ear. Grantaire, 1k, G

The Genetic Soap Opera (or, One of the Less Dignified Royal Weddings) by waketosleep Turns out Jim Kirk's more than meets the eye, genetically speaking. There are a lot of consequences, mostly for Spock and his sanity. Kirk/Spock, 6k, M

let us pray that hell may not separate us by postcardmystery “Pure empathy,” says Hannibal Lecter, and it will be some time before he realises his mistake. “Pure empathy,” lies Will Graham, in careful agreement, and knows that it’s only a matter of time before he’s found out. “That must be quite a burden to bear,” says Hannibal, and Will meets his eyes, sips his tea, and knows, for once in his life, that he is not the only liar in the room. Hannibal/Will, 3k, E

You, Soft and Only by thehoyden He hadn’t expected a sudden lapful of angel. “Very sorry about this,” Aziraphale said, and kissed him. Aziraphale/Crowley, 9k, E

Sound and Vision by yeats Arthur and Curt in Berlin, December 1989. Arthur/Curt, 2k, E Note: the fact that velvet goldmine fanfiction exists.......effervescent

Years Since It’s Been Clear by lady_ragnell Grantaire really doesn't expect Enjolras to force him to move in with him when he hears how shitty Grantaire's apartment is. And he definitely doesn't expect Enjolras to want him to stay, or how easy it turns out to be, or the way Enjolras has a habit of doing his studying in the sunshine on the living room floor... Yeah, he may be in some trouble. Enjolras/Grantaire, 10k, E

in all and any of your skins by theappleppielifestyle Steve has a thing for Tony. Steve has a thing for Iron Man. This is a problem, until it really isn't. Steve/Tony, 1k, M Note: identity! porn!

A New Weird by corantus Kids in the Horde are probably super touch-starved Adora/Catra, 2k, G

World Tour by cherryfeather When his anklet finally comes off, Neal needs to see the world again. Peter and Elizabeth amass a collection of very interesting postcards and artifacts. Elizabeth/Peter/Neal, 7k, T

the long slide from kingdom to kingdom by gyzym They want you to love the whole damn world but you won't, you want it all narrowed down to one fleshy man in the bath, who knows what to do with his body, with his hands. -Richard Siken, Driving, Not Washing. Steve/Bucky, 6k, G

Black AmEx by copperbadge Bruce isn't sure he wants to use a credit card Tony gave him. Steve isn't sure he even knows how. Bruce Banner, 4k, G

I Relied Upon the Moon by mnemosyne tumblr prompt: How about the amazing trope of "you will recognize your soulmate by the first words they say to you (as it is tattooed on your skin)" but as finn was in the stormtrooper program his was removed. Finn/Poe, 2k, G Note: i just love alternative takes on soulmate aus!

Sooner or Later in Life by pineapplecrushface “Can I buy you a drink?” the idiot asked. “To make up for hip checking you into the core of the Earth?” Eddie opened his mouth to say no, of course not, he was on his lunch break. But the end of his lunch break had already come and gone, hadn’t it? He wasn’t so much out for lunch as he was out for the afternoon, or maybe forever. He just hadn’t told anyone yet. For the first time in his entire life, Eddie Kaspbrak was doing something he wasn’t supposed to do, and he found he sort of liked it. In fact, he wanted to do more of it. He wanted this idiot to buy him a drink. Richie/Eddie, 10k, E

Long-Term by idiopathicsmile Take, for instance, the couple she’s consulting with this afternoon, for their upcoming October ceremony. Seemingly mismatched in every respect. The plump, fair-haired one looks like a parody of an absent-minded professor, as sketched by someone who didn’t bother to do much actual research; his clothes are so outdated it teeters on costume. He’s wearing a bow tie, and not in that reinvented hipster way. This is a bow tie unacquainted with the cycles of fashion, a bow tie that has never heard the word irony. His partner is a rangy, black-clad ginger in snakeskin boots. He has the look of a hungover rocker about him, and would somehow, even without the sunglasses he has fully committed to wearing indoors on a cloudy afternoon. He’s sprawled almost defiantly in his chair and keeps throwing dubious glances around Dr. Blackwell’s office, as though expecting a lightning bolt to strike him down for merely daring to be within spitting distance of a church. Aziraphale/Crowley, 1k, G

Off-Script by Fuhadeza Every time Adora sees Catra in the months that follow, it’s like standing on a stage. Like every play, theirs has an intermission. In another world, it might be the moment when the masks come off and the actors remember that, at the end of the day, they are merely friends. In this world, it is the moment Adora remembers the exact opposite. Adora/Catra, 11k, T

so you wanna be a hero, kid by pavonine The Waitress' new boyfriend is a real hero-type. With Frank's help, Charlie decides to prove that he can be a hero too. Charlie & The Waitress, 5k, G Note: there’s a bit in this fic where the gang all choose tom cruise-related codenames and it appeals to be on a very spiritual level

[first-and-ten]

2017 Week 7 Recap

Three shutouts. Three. Two of them ended the second- and third-longest shutout-less streaks in NFL history.  Don’t mind me, I’ll just be ignoring the fact that this week happened.

Teams that need Kaepernick: BAL, CIN, CLE, IND, JAX, MIA, NYJ, CHI, MIN, GB, NYG, ARI, SF

Teams on Bye: DET, HOU

KC 30 - 31 OAK [L] Game ball: Amari Cooper Oh boy, what a game, what a finish. Heck of a uniform matchup, and then it comes down to about 20 plays run in the last 20 seconds? For the Raiders to win by 1 on a TD scored on their third untimed down? Holy shit! The Chiefs are on a 2-game losing streak now, the Chargers and Raiders are gaining steam, this division is getting confusing.

TB 27 - 30 BUF [W] Game ball: Tyrod Taylor Big day from OJ Howard, and from James Winston. Ultimately a loss, because the Buccaneers defense is not good at all. Impressive performance by Tyrod, who made a lot of yardage with pretty much no brand name weapons to throw to.

BAL 16 - 24 MIN [W] Game ball: Kai Forbath A good old kicker victory. Usually not good to win that way but the 8 point spread isn’t even a good indication of how dominant the Vikings were. Mike Wallace got taken out and immediately the Ravens were completely done, couldn’t move the ball for shit.

ARI 0 - 33 LAR [W] Game ball: Wade Phillips The Rams looked like they woke up earlier. They were ready for Peterson and shut him down. He didn’t fare much better in London as a Cardinal than as a Saint. And now Carson Palmer is out, and Drew Stanton is in. Because, you know, he’s better at football than Colin Kaepernick.

TEN 12 - 9 CLE OT [W] Game ball: Marcus Mariota Mariota’s stats look underwhelming but he was the beating heart of the Titans squad. It is pretty ugly to go to Overtime in Cleveland, but lucky for the Titans the Browns literally couldn’t settle on a quarterback to save their lives.

NYJ 28 - 31 MIA [L] Game ball: Matt Moore Cutler broke his ribs, Moore came in, threw a pick and then caught fire. Tied up the game, McCown throws a pick deep in Jets territory with less than a minute left, because you can’t spell Jets without “failure.”

JAX 27 - 0 IND [W] Game ball: Calias Campbell A goddamn shutout, how about them apples. Jacoby Brissett was sacked 10 times, making the Jags the first team in either a long time or EVER with multiple 10+ sack games in a season. They’re on pace to break the all-time record as a team over a season. I was worried about the run game but TJ Yeldon basically picked up where Fournette left off, just with maybe a tad less oomph.

NO 26 - 17 GB [W] Game ball: Mark Ingram The great thing for the Saints about having an actual run game and defense is that thy can win games that are played outside. The Packers leaned on defense and run game too, but once they fell behind they had to try and do something with Brett Hundley. That went poorly, and Marshon Lattimore shares this game ball with Ingram. 4 in a row!

CAR 3 - 17 CHI [L] Game ball: Eddie Jackson Without Eddie Jackson’s two 75+ yard defensive touchdowns (an NFL first) this game would have gone to OT tied at 3. The Bears over the last two weeks are 2-0 with their QB completing 7 passes. John fox truly is an inspiration, his offense would have been called conservative in the 1910s. He makes the Bears look like they installed the concept of the forward pass over the offseason. Incredible.

DAL 40 - 10 SF [W] Game ball: Ezekiel Elliott Elliott exploded just like I thought. So did Dallas’ pass rush. Rough outing for CJ Beathard, but starting him was still the right thing to do.

DEN 0 - 21 LAC [L] Game ball: Joey Bosa Well shit. I’m honestly pissed that Vance Joseph went for it on 4th and impossible in field goal range in the last few minutes. We were not catching up, we could have just kicked the field goal and left with our 300+ game streak with no shutouts going. It was the longest active streak and the second-longest in NFL history. It dated back to 1992, when Tommy Maddox made his first career start in relief of John Elway against the LA Raiders. Fuck. All out the window. The defense played very well, but we broke down emotionally the second we let up that punt return. And honestly, the second AJ Derby fumbled on our first drive. We need to create turnovers and we just haven’t, I think we relief for a couple years on Wade’s scheme generating them.  Our offense was garbage. CJ Anderson didn’t immediately churn things out so we start panicking, threw weird passes and gave touches to Jamaal Charles and DeVontae Booker in weird spots. And Siemian was just terrible as well. I’ve said before that as long as he has blocking he’s very good, but oh man is he bad when he doesn’t. I know all QBs struggle in that circumstance but he couldn’t do a damn thing right. Ugh. Credit the Chargers, they didn’t give up at 0-4 and now they are somehow still in this thing? Bosa and Ingram are just... Terrifying.

CIN 14 - 29 PIT [L] Game ball: LeVeon Bell It was close like I expected for a half and then the Pittsburgh defense just decided it was having none of this. They tore Dalton a new one and allowed 0 points the rest of the way. Bell carried a ridiculous number of times, Ben hit some incredible throws against defenders worn down from the storm, and here we are today.

SEA 24 - 7 NYG [W] Game ball: Russell Wilson Another damn fail mary, but a little different this time: It’s clear that Richardson was in possession both first and last, whereas the Packers DB straight up caught the INT before Golden Tate wrestled it away after the play should have been dead.  Either way, the Seahawks defense gave no quarter to the Giants’ Farm Squad and the offense caught up about halfway through the game.

ATL 7 - 23 NE [W] Game ball: Tom Brady Kinda wish it had been a shutout. Or that the Pats had won 28-3. That fog was fuckin weird.

WSH 24 - 34 PHI [W] Game ball: Carson Wentz Go watch Wentz evade pressure and tell me you’ve seen anything like it since Elway. Okay, maybe Michael Vick, and maybe Russ Wilson. Maybe. Either way, dude looks special. So does the defense. Now if they can just stop losing linemen. 

Record this week: 10-5 Record this season: 63-43 Locks record: 19-10 (Survivors used [XX]: ATL, SEA, NE, GB, PIT, DEN, DAL) Upsets record: 15-16 2014 pace: 67-39-1 Pickwatch leader: 68-38 (Patrick Schmidt, Fansided)

NFL Title Belt: PIT (Defended from CIN)

MMA candidates: CLE, SF (7 games)

The Room Where It Happens: N/A

Fallen Tributes: N/A

FANTASY CORNER

Danger Squirrels 97 - 143.3 Team A$AP Russell [L, 2-5]

Drew Brees and Cooper Kupp couldn’t save me from the utter incompetence of the rest of my roster. Goddamn. Fantasy football is all about RBs and WRs, and all of mine suck. Except apparently Paul Richardson, who I left on the bench. Siemian the Finals 149.04 - 176.44 Illegal Touching [L, 3-4]

A lot of my players didn’t even do bad, but so a few duds on my side and a lot of over performers from my opponent added up. Like, Torrey Smith got blanked? WTH? I should have known to start Richardson over Cobb. Mariota’s first game as starter went so bad.