#MOST OF THE FICS I THOUGHT OF FIRST HAVE APPARENTLY BEEN DELETED

[ghostflowerhotpotch]

Gwen's Spider-sense always on Miles?

Okay, so a few days ago I had an ask about my opinion on Gwen spider sense activating when Miles got in danger, and I accidentally ended up deleting the entire thing.

@ficsinhistory Sorry about that.

However this may had been for the best, because I went from not having much of an answer to what the fuck all of this means.

So, let's go with the basics.

We see Gwen's spider-sense before, when she was looking for Miles on his room while he was in Earth-42.

Now, this is something I had interpreted as she trying to use her spider-sense to see if she could sense Miles; a bit odd, but in the first movie the spiders literally sensed each other, sometimes even before realizing they were there.

(Alternatively, this may be them searching for them; tho considering Miles got bit recently on this movie and still was doing it, I am going more with they just sense the others at that moment.)

She came to the conclusion that Miles wasn't in this dimension by not sensing him here, which in theory could be him getting caught on something else but I mean she isn't wrong.

Here is the part where I actually ran out of answer.

(Side note, how HARD can Prowler Miles hit?! We had seen Miles got thrown into a billboard and get up fine, I know he is probably tired after everything but still.)

It really is that quickly, Miles is down and Gwen is immediately sensing something.

And here...I have nothing.

I wish I could have more thoughts about this, but honestly my mind had just been going on circles with this scene, and all I am thinking is how?

Look, I wish I could have a more to say about this, but honestly all I can think of is that I need an explanation as to how this is happening because the math isn't mathing for me.

However, I also saw the first movie recently, and something that brought my attention was a plot point in the last movie that ALSO drove me up the wall because I couldn't get how or why.

Gwen, unlike the other Spiders apparently, was blown a week before the incident with the Collider, and her Spider-sense told her to go to Visions Academy.

This always bothered me because I truly couldn't imagine how exactly this worked.

Spider-sense is primarily, suppose to work as a way for the spider to sense danger. In this movie, it also servers the purpose of communicating to the other spiders when they are around another who is one of them

Neither of those things is suppose to give you any directions, and more importantly, her spider-sense activated before Miles was even bitten.

Now, I thought that was perhaps because she was blown into last week, meaning she came through the portal when Miles already has been bit. So I try to think that maybe she could sense it because her spider-sense recognized the spider that was on the Collider?

It always felt like a flimsy excuse but I had nothing so oh well. I thought it was just a convenient plot point to get Gwen there and leave it like that.

Now? This has to be connected.

I am not sure how, why, or if it can work the other way around (Miles maybe sensing Gwen is in danger? Or have a better idea when she is around? Idk.) But I don't think it is a coincidence that Gwen had her spider-sense going to Miles before he was bitten, and now she can known when he is in danger in another dimension.

(Honestly this is all great material for a soulmate fic so anyone feel free to get on that.)

In the first movie, we saw the spider that bit Miles' glitch, but I really didn't saw people commenting in the possibility of the Spider being from another dimension, in fact most of the people I know had been shocked to realize that this was there for the beginning.

So, what are the chances that is not just all connected, but part of something bigger than we had yet still to know?

[starwarsmum]

So after I couldn't find that fic, I decided I was gonna write my own version of it, because the idea was wonderful and I, apparently, actually cannot live without this fic existing.

Lost in Paris

Summary:

Damian has had enough of being treated like a child, or worse, as a bomb waiting to explode and kill those closest. After a conversation with Bruce about doing some vigilante work solo goes south, he comes to the conclusion that he is better off leaving home.

Little do his family know, he doesn't intend to return.

* * *

HEAVILY inspired by a fic that was deleted recently. Obviously it has my own take and writing, but I can't add the fic as an inspiration as it's not here anymore. Rated teen for language

Notes:

Heyo, so after I wrote the one shot, I became consumed with writing my own take on the fic that got away. So here's the first chapter of that.

All six have been written, but I need to take some time to read it through, make any edits, and make sure it makes sense! There is limited French throughout the fic, I'll be providing translations in the end notes.

Hope you all enjoy!

(See the end of the work for more notes.)

Chapter 1: Jason

“…as though you can stop me, Father.”

Red Hood paused as Demon Spawn’s clipped voice echoed from further in the batcave. The loudest silence Red Hood had heard in quite a while followed it and he slowed down to eavesdrop.

“Tt, when will you admit that it is time I set out alone, to attempt my own vigilantism? I am a child no longer and refuse to be treated as such.” Robin sounded haughty and angry, a not unusual combination.

“I didn't say you couldn't become your own vigilante, Robin. I merely said that you would need a new mantle. Robin is Batman's sidekick, he does not stand alone. If you are ready to pass it down, I’m sure someone else will take it up. Someone always does.”

Red Hood winced at Bruce's words. Sure, all of them had held the title of Robin at one point or other, but the Fourth Robin was the most adamant that it was rightfully his, as the only blood son of Batman. And that was saying something, given Red Hood's little nickname for Red Robin and the hatred he had harbored after he found out he had been replaced. He held still as Robin drew back his hood and removed the mask.

“Father, I am Robin, it is my identity and I do not have to discard it if I do not wish to - which I do not. But if you will not give me the freedom to work without you, then I will not stay. I understand that you did not choose me, that I was thrust upon you by Mother but I have been here for 8 years now. Why do you not trust me to wear the mantle with honour?”

“You know why, Robin,” Batman growled, and there was warning in his voice. Damian clearly heard it too as his shoulders began to tense, though he said nothing. After a moment's pause, Batman continued. “You are still too angry, and you need supervision to ensure you keep to our ideals.”

“Your ideals, Father,” Damian said, his voice soft. He sounded more weary than angry and he waved Batman off as the cowled man loosed a growl. “It is of little importance. We are clearly at an impasse and nothing shall be gained by having this argument with you again. I shall be gone by morning.”

The sharp clicks of Damian's shoes were the only sound in the batcave and Red Hood counted his blessings that he hadn't been part of that conversation. Sure, Demon Spawn wound him up, but he wouldn't have thought he'd regress to his League days. Hell, some days Hood thought that he was more likely to snap than the youngest in their crew.

He slid casually into the main cave at that point, not even pretending not to have overheard the entire thing. It seemed that Batman wasn't in the mood to chat so he made himself scarce, going up to see Alfred and maybe he could scrounge some food from the kitchen. He didn't realise that this was a point in time that he would wish he could turn back to, many times over the coming years.

_ _ _

3 weeks later, and the cave was a riot of noise, voices echoing harshly. Jason hadn't suited up yet, but that didn't stop him from dropping casually into one of the chairs around their planning table so he could work out what the problem was. When the noise just continued, even increasing if that were possible, Jason let loose a shrill whistle to get everyone's attention.

“Thank you, god you lot are ridiculously loud tonight. We having trouble deciding who we're supposed to take down? Oh, hey Dick, undercover mission over with already?” He nodded at his older brother but he only got a curt ‘hi’ back. That made him sit up straighter; Dick was sunshine incarnate, but when he got angry, he got angry. God help the soul he aimed his rage towards. “Oh, shit, do we have, like, an actual problem? Did a rogue escape or something?”

“No, Jay, we're missing a team member,” Tim said sharply from the batcomputer. Jason did a quick look around but there were several of the family absent so he turned around, concerned. Tim sighed, “Robin, Robin is missing, Jason. He's been gone for several weeks and we can't find him anywhere.”

“Wait, weeks?” Jason sat up straighter, glancing towards Bruce - a look that was caught by Dick and immediately acted upon.

“What did you do, Bruce? Wait, forget that, what did Bruce do, Jay-bird?” As Jason recounted what he'd heard, Dick grew angrier and angrier, until he was agitatedly bouncing on his toes and glaring at Bruce. “So your son tells you he's gonna leave and you, what, just pretend it's not happening? For 3 weeks?!”

“Damian can take care of himself, Dick. If it wasn't true, he wouldn't have taken himself out of the role. He said he wanted to spread his wings, which of you hasn't wanted that?”

“You accused him of being one bad day away from murdering his enemies!” Dick shouted, exasperated. “And when has any of us completely cut off the whole family? Even Alfred hasn't heard from him. Has Jon? And where are Titus, and Alfred the cat? If he was coming back, he wouldn't have disrupted them!”

“You are reading too much into this and it is a waste of time. He will come home when he realises he was wrong and that's the end of it. Can we now focus on patrol?” There were noises of dissent and Tim continued to type furiously but they began gearing up. Dick shot another glare at the Bat and declared that this would be his last patrol with them if Damian didn't get in touch before the next one.

_ _ _

Jason was sitting in Dick’s apartment, watching with concern as the man paced relentlessly. It had been a month since his last family patrol and he was no closer to finding out where Damian had gone. He had League training so when he wanted to vanish, he could make a damn good go of it. Unfortunately, that left them with nothing but dead ends.

“What did Jon say?” Dick growled into his phone, muttering what Jason was pretty sure were curses in Romani. “Well, where does he think he went? I don't know, Tim, that's why I've been coming to the computer geniuses! Babs says she hasn't had any luck with known aliases and I know you haven't either. I'm at a loss, Jay hasn't had any success with his contacts and he hasn't reached out to me.”

Jason listened in silence and Dick devolved into a rant about how Bruce didn't value Damian enough and treated them all relatively poorly. He heard a short reply from the Replacement and could almost imagine the little twerp with a hand wrapped around a jumbo mug of coffee as he hunched over the keyboards. He thought back to how tired Damian had sounded during the argument with Bruce and frowned. Surely Damian would pop up again one day soon, there wasn't far an 18 year old with none of the family money could go.

Tim had hacked the bank records for Damian's private account and there had been a withdrawal for a decent sum on that first day, but nothing since. And the idea of Demon Spawn getting a job with none of the references from Gotham was laughable. But after the first month had passed with no contact, they had to admit that there was less and less chance of him coming home.

5 years later

Jason stood in the watchtower, staring at the screen in front of him. He had been doing his usual rounds, checking for chatter in some of the less underground communities to see if any of Damian's aliases had surfaced. When that had hit its usual dead ends, he decided to review Robin's original profile, to see if there was something they had missed in their initial sweep for potential allies and safe zones.

Jason had never been particularly adept at navigating the system for files and didn't want to pull up the wrong Robin file so he typed in ‘Damian Wayne' and saw the file. But, curiously, there had been another, newer reference to the name. Had one of the other heroes done a search on him recently?

He clicked the link and was flooded with a metric shit-ton of information spanning the past 5 years. There were credit searches, a courthouse request, hospital records, all in French and linked to a couple of addresses in Paris. He hesitated another minute before deciding to download the information onto an external drive and then scrubbing evidence of his search. Whilst he wasn't Babs or Tim competent, anyone doing a cursory look would see nothing amiss. And there were very few people searching for Damian these days.

It was a few hours later that he made it back to his favourite safe house to finally review the information he had garnered. He was nervous as he connected the drive to a device, wondering if he finally had a lead that would give them back their brother. He scanned the most recent entry and saw an address linked to a recent credit card application. His brow furrowed but the ID used certainly looked like an older Damian.

He jumped up, too jittery to read through the entire pack of information. He'd always been more of a ‘do now, think later’ kind of guy. He could catch a Zeta tube back up to the watchtower and then get into Paris immediately. He checked the route from the Paris tube to the address before grabbing his civilian leather jacket and a domino mask.

The time difference between New Jersey and Paris was distinct. What had been a brisk but clear December afternoon there was a wet and dreary evening here. The drizzle had started not long after he had arrived and looked to worsen in the near future. He was watching the tall apartment building, hoping to spot his brother before he made an approach but with no success.

After twenty minutes, the heavens opened, forcing his hand. He could either stay where he was, getting more and more drenched, and risk getting sick, or bite the bullet and knock on the door. With a steadying breath, he slouched across the street and raised his fist to the door.

“Attendez, s’il vous plait,” came a feminine voice, and Jason panicked. That definitely wasn't his brother’s voice, had he made a mistake? Perhaps someone else had the unfortunate luck of having his brother's name, his age. He hesitated a fraction longer and the door cracked open, a shorter French woman looking up at him quizzically. “Oui?”

“Uh, pardonnez-moi, I, uh, shit,” he fumbled for the words not knowing how to phrase it. Her brow furrowed further and he felt the panic mounting. “Is, uh, is Damian here? Damian Wayne?”

“Un moment, monsieur,” she said, eyes narrowing slightly as she took in his features. The door snapped shut and he heard a muffled conversation, the light voice of the woman and a deep masculine voice that made Jason tense up in anticipation. The adrenaline thrummed in his veins as the door opened again and the small woman reappeared.

“Please, monsieur, come in,” she said politely, opening the door wide. Jason heard another door in the apartment close softly. The room was spacious and sparsely decorated, a three seater and two seater sofa selection which she gestured towards him to sit down on. “You speak English, non? I speak it too, so we can converse in that, if it is easier for you.”

“Uh, yeah, thanks, mademoiselle.” Jason’s eyes darted around nervously, taking in as much as he could. “Listen, I'm sorry for just showing up here, I just- I've been looking for my brother for years and I found something that said he was living here and I-”

“Monsieur, please, moins vite, slower, I cannot comprend- understand if you speak that fast,” she said, in a soothing manner. She had leaned towards him, frowning but not so much that he worried about being thrown out. He took a deep breath and gave her a shaky smile in apology. “Merci, now, you said the word ‘brother’, that means frere, non? Why are you looking for him now?” After all this time was implied, but not said outright so he wasn't sure if that was what she meant.

“Sorry, my brother, Damian, left home several years ago, he got in a fight with our dad. We thought he was cooling off at first, maybe spending time with a friend,” Jason said, taking care not to speak too quickly. “He was 18, you know? He was allowed to have a little time to himself. We've all chafed against the old man at one point or another- I mean,” he corrected, seeing her confusion, “we've all fought with Bruce at different times. We thought he was gonna cool off and come home, but he never did. And we couldn't find him, we tried, we were so sure we would manage but then days turned into weeks, weeks into months, months into yea-”

“I understand,” she cut in softly, placing a hand on the back of his. He took a shuddering breath and realised he was close to tears, rambling in his nerves. She was about to say something else when a door opened and a tall, familiar man stepped into view. He had filled out some, his limbs no longer holding the gangliness of youth but firm and solid. His hair was still jet black and ruffled looking and his eyes the same piercing green.

“Damian,” Jason choked out, shooting up and launching towards the man. He looked even more uncannily like Bruce, the same jawline, similar builds, but he had a softer edge. He caught hold of Jason, gripping the back of his jacket tightly as the larger man shook slightly. “God, I can't believe it's really you.”

“It is me, Todd,” Damian replied, releasing himself from the embrace. They looked each other in the eye, Jason's still with that edge of pit madness but Damian - Damian looked at peace. “I must admit, I did not anticipate you visiting so suddenly,” he added drily.

Jason let out a short bark, shrugging even though all he felt was overwhelmed. “None of us expected you to keep using your actual name, Demon Spawn. God, we searched so hard, Dick was furious with B. I don't think he's spoken to him properly in years.”

Damian frowned but then the woman stood up and spoke softly in French to him. He rumbled something back and she nodded, patting Jason's arm as she passed him to go to another room. Damian indicated the sofas again and they sat down, a tense silence settling in the room. Having another person in the room had helped to ease some of the tension - Jason and Damian had never been close. But they were still brothers and Jason had been so angry with Bruce when he realised that Damian was gone.

The sound of a kettle filled the silence and the woman poked her head back around the door. She smiled at them both, a sunny, bright expression. “Pardon, would you like un thé ou un café, Jason? Or jus? We have orange or apple.”

“Uh, coffee's fine,” Jason muttered, trying to let the tension in his shoulders dissipate. He turned back to Damian after she bobbed her head once and vanished back through the door. “She, uh, she seems nice.”

“Marinette is a great many things,” Damian said, clearly amused. “Nice is the least of them, but I appreciate you saying so. We have been through much together, and she is very strong.”

“So are you…” Jason trailed off, not sure how to say it without offending someone. He waved his hands helplessly, hoping it conveyed his sentiment and Damian snorted. He was saved from answering by Marinette coming back into the room with a tea tray.

“I have sugar, lait, some macarons and cheese with crackers,” Marinette said lightly, placing the tray onto the coffee table and perching next to Damian. He reached a hand for her knee and she placed hers on top of his. Jason spied matching rings on their fingers and his eyes widened. Marinette noticed the direction of his look and gave another laugh, squeezing Damian's hand lovingly. “Oui, Damian and I are married. We have been for nearly two years.”

“Congratulations. I gotta admit, I didn't think you were ever going to settle down Demo- Damian,” he corrected, seeing Marinette's eyebrow rise. Damian nodded, glancing at his wife with a slightly chagrined look on his face.

“To be honest, the Demon Spawn you knew would never have deserved to marry Marinette,” he admitted, waving away her sudden frown. “Ma cherie, you know I speak the truth. I was a mess of a man when we met, I lashed out at everything and everyone.”

“Mon coeur, you were nothing of the sort,” Marinette reprimanded firmly. It sounded as though this was a well worn argument and Jason was almost envious of the evident love he could hear in her voice. Not that he thought Damian didn't deserve it, but he had often yearned for the kind of love that was pouring out of this petite French pixie. “Heureusement, you did not lash out at me too harshly, and accepted that you could not do this all alone.”

Jason was shocked - Damian had settled down. The pair had clearly grown together, matching each other in their differences. And Damian had changed, even more than he had begun to during his time in Wayne manor. He seemed more sure of himself, confident in an easy way. Jason cleared his throat again, drawing their attention back to him. “So, uh, if you got married, how…how much have you talked about your past, D?”

“Ah, I wondered if you would be concerned about that, Monsieur Hood,” Marinette said, a mischievous twinkle in her eye. She waved her hand as he tensed again. “Damian and I have no secrets. It is difficult, making a life together, without sharing such things. I understand the importance of keeping these things to myself. We are, comment dire, birds of a feather?”

Jason raised an eyebrow himself now but they were interrupted by a soft cry, coming from an adjacent room. He tensed but Marinette sighed and made to get up, before Damian shooed her into her seat, standing himself. He came back moments later, carrying what looked like a bundle of blankets that he cooed to in a mix of French and Arabic. Jason went rigid with disbelief as Damian settled himself back into his seat. A shock of dark hair peeked out of the blankets and Jason sucked in a sharp breath.

“Her name is Penélope Robyn Dupain-Cheng. Penny for short,” Marinette said, her voice soft and full of love. Jason's head whipped towards her and Damian chuckled.

“It seemed fitting, I had no need for the mantle and it connects me to my past without shackling me. Marinette understood better than I did that I did not want to lose who I had been.” Jason was stunned. Damian was speaking so nonchalantly about a moniker that he had almost killed for - what he had considered a birthright. His voice softened as he looked back up at his brother. “I am truly at peace, Todd. I let go of my anger before I married as it would have been unfair to Marinette if I had allowed it to continue consuming me.”

“How-how old is she?” Jason croaked, transfixed with his niece - his second, after Kor’i had given birth. He couldn't remember how old Mar’i had been when she was this size and the Tamaranean in her could have changed things.

“8 months,” Damian said softly, turning his gaze back to his daughter. “I would do anything for her, Todd. She will want for nothing as long as I can control it. She is loved, in ways I didn't know were possible.”

A silence stretched between the three adults and Jason took a sip from his now tepid coffee. His mind was reeling; he felt as though everything he had ever known about Damian was wrong and now he was meeting what was essentially a stranger. Penny had clearly drifted back to sleep and Damian stood to take her back to her room. Marinette cleared her throat as he left, making Jason shoot her a questioning look.

“I must ask you, are you here as a lookout? When should I expect your father,” she clipped the word out, thinly veiled rage coating it, “to descend upon my home? I must warn you, I will not allow him to harm Damian again.”

“They aren't,” he answered flatly. She looked at him again, surprised. “I told no-one of my suspicions, I came alone. Like I said, we've all fallen out with Bruce at one point or another and when Damian left…well, let's just say the team isn't running quite so smoothly any more.”

“I thought you were all ‘the world's greatest detectives’,” she replied sardonically, dropping her voice as she heard Damian returning. “If you are lying to me, I will not be contente, comprennez?”

“My love, please tell me you are not threatening our guest?” Damian rumbled, laughter barely concealed in his voice. “I apologise, Todd, she is protective of those in her care, a trait from her younger years.”

“Je suis toujours jeune, Damian,” Marinette said, a light growl lacing her words. He nodded sagely and Jason snorted. It was just so…domestic. If someone had told him 5 years ago that Damian, the little brother who threatened anyone who breathed near him, would be married, with a kid, he would have had them committed to Arkham. And yet…

“They all miss you, lil D,” Jason said softly, imitating Dick for a moment. “Tim was frantic when he couldn't trace where you went, he still gets upset when he thinks about how he failed you. And Dick - I mean, he loves you, you know that. If he could have ripped B to pieces without ruining Gotham, he would have. He has a kid himself you know,” he added, setting his cup down.

“But I didn't come here to ask you to come back. I can see you have a life here Dames, a good life. Christ, I didn't think it was possible for anyone to give up our particular lifestyle and settle down but you clearly did and it's obviously been the best thing to happen to you. I'm proud of you, for whatever that's worth. I just…I would like to be part of your life again, I want to get to know the you now. Don't get me wrong, you were a little beast before you left, but you're still family. And I don't have a whole lot of that left.”

“Well, it's not like we can just leave,” Marinette said, with humour. “Merde, maman et papa, they would kill me if I just disappeared with their only grandbaby.”

“And- am I welcome back?”

“D’accord, but I will ask that you only share the information with your father if he specifically asks about Damian. It is a talk we had as soon as we were expecting Penélope, he is not welcome to my family without begging Damian for forgiveness.” The steely note in Marinette's voice brooked no argument, and Jason had none to voice. Bruce was the reason Damian had left all those years ago and he was the one who asked least often about any updates.

“What about Dick? You know he would love to see you, if he hadn't been undercover when you left, he would have at least known where you went.” Damian nodded slowly at this, making Jason grin with relief. “Awesome. Wow, okay, that's great. Thank you, Marinette. I'll take down a number and we can coordinate a visit sometime? I doubt you want to come to Gotham,” Damian's eyes narrowed and he shook his head tightly,” so I'll have to get Dick here himself.”

As he stood to leave, Marinette and Damian also stood, the slight woman stepping forward first and pulling him down for une bise, kissing his cheek with warmth and familiarity. She stepped back and carried the tea tray through to the kitchen, giving the brothers some space. Damian clapped a hand onto Jason's shoulder and received a light punch in return. They exchanged numbers before Jason promised he would text as soon as he was home again, and then when he had spoken to Dick about coming back to visit.

As Jason stepped into the Paris zeta tube, he glanced back over his shoulder and smiled. Trust Damian to move to the city of love and figure all his shit out.

Notes:

So let me know what you think! I'm going to try and update once a week-ish, but may post chapters sooner if I'm ready.

French used:

Attendez, s'il vous plaît = wait please

Pardonnez-moi = pardon me

Un moment = one moment

Monsieur = sir

Mademoiselle = miss

Moins vite = slower/less fast

Contente = happy

Comprennez = understand

Je suis toujours jeune = I am still young

Merci = thank you

Un thé ou un café = a tea or coffee

Jus = juice

Lait = milk

Mon chéri/ma chérie = my darling

Mon coeur = my heart

Heureusement = fortunately

Comment dire = how to say

Merde = shit

Maman et papa = mum and dad

D'accord = alright

Une bise = Literally, a kiss, usually how they refer to the kiss on the cheek they give to say hello/goodbye

Most of the French throughout this fic is what I've learned through Duo, so if I offend some native speakers, I'm really very sorry! I have double checked it in Google for the most part, but I'm not sure that's better.

Chapter 2

[flowerandblood]

The Prince and The Fox (Preview)

[ modern! • Aemond x friend! • fem!reader ]

[ description: After the events of her childhood, despite her best efforts, her neighbor and the younger brother of her friend Helaena, Aemond, does not want to know her. This state lasts until a house party organized by his older brother, Aegon, during which an incident occurs that will change their relationship forever. Slow burn, angst, sexual abuse, groomer ex-Alys, rough Aemond. This is several anon requests combined into one fic. ]

WARNING: The main plot between the characters takes place in high school. Yes, in high school. The belief that teenagers wait with an intimacy when they are in love in high school is ridiculous to me. Aemond and the character here are the same age. Don't ask me how old they are, in my country you are of the age of consent in your first year of high school and an adult in the last year of high school, so if it is more convenient for you, think about it that way and decide for yourself. In this story, I am not following the trail that they are magically friends right away, but how they become friends and what that even means. I'm writing this fic to give the perspective of young, lost people, not adult women who want to see exactly themselves in everything they read. If that's all you expect, this isn't the fic for you.

I don't want whining about this in my comments or asks. I will delete these and block you. You have been warned.

* English is not my first language. Please, do not repost. Enjoy! *

Next chapters: Masterlist

_____

"Which scene do you want to talk about?" He asked coldly, dispassionately, and she swallowed loudly.

"About the Little Prince and the Fox." She said quietly, feeling him give her a brief glance.

He grunted under his breath, apparently agreeing with her choice, waiting for her elaboration on the matter. She swallowed with difficulty, licking her lips.

"What moved me most was how true this scene is. That the greatest enemy of friendship, or any close relationship, is haste. That only by respecting someone's barriers, only by approaching someone slowly and with understanding, can you really look at them from a distance.

By taming someone, by making that person grow attached to you, you take partial responsibility for that person's feelings, for making them trust you enough to believe that you won't intentionally hurt them with your behaviour. Until we really get to know someone we are just a crowd of people passing each other on the street."

She said in a trembling voice, feeling for some reason tears under her eyelids and a tightness in her throat, her eyebrows arched in pain, her lower lip began to tremble, she played with the material of her white daisy dress in a nervous gesture.

She felt him watching her, an awkward silence fell between them.

She couldn't look at him.

She thought he was going to say something cruel, that he was going to tell her to stop wailing, but he said nothing. After a while he spoke up.

"I see this scene differently. They're both moving towards each other because they're determined to do so. They are both going their separate ways. There is a balance. The Little Prince doesn't force the Fox to approach him, just as the Fox doesn't force the Little Prince to approach him. They do it of their own free will. They tame themselves because that's the decision they made. You can't tame someone who doesn't want it." He said lowly, and she looked up at him feeling tears begin to run down her face.

Was he talking about himself?

Was she the Fox who wanted to tame him even though he didn't want it?

[kiwiana-writes]

20 Questions for Fic Writers

Thanks @cha-melodius and @stereopticons for the tags! I know I’ve done this in the past, but it’s been a hot minute…

How many works do you have on ao3?

239!

What's your total ao3 word count?

822,937—but that’s a collaboration-boosted lie. Per my writing tracker, words that I have personally written and published on AO3 is 693,613

What fandoms do you write for?

Mostly RWRB these days, but the majority of my back catalogue is Schitt’s Creek, with a few others sprinkled in for fun. The Pairing definitely made my brain whirr… we’ll see.

Top five fics by kudos:

With so much of my heart (that none is left to protest), RWRB, 65.5k, the Much Ado About Nothing stage actor AU

Kinda think that I might be his type, RWRB, 12.8k, Alex and Bea fake date and Alex gets a little distracted by Bea’s brother

We were supposed to find this, RWRB, 3.3k, soulmate AU

We always walked a very thin line, Happiest Season, 2.7k, Riley character study/alternate ending

All the Lonely Starbucks Lovers, RWRB, 5.8k, barista Henry repeatedly putting his foot in his mouth in front of his coworker crush

(This is how I learned Puck It has been knocked out of my top five 😭)

Do you respond to comments?

Yes! And absent a Schitt’s Creek resurgence of some kind that sees me absolutely inundated I don’t see that changing.

What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

Five ways it could have ended (and one way it still could), Schitt’s Creek, 1.2k, for the love of god read the tags

What's the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

Like… most of them? I love to end on a good HEA haha. For sheer joy, though, it’s probably With so much of my heart (that none is left to protest)

Do you get hate on fics?

From time to time. I’m very free with the delete button. Weirdly, it occasionally pops up in the AO3 comments but mostly seems to come to me via anons on tumblr??? I have no idea why.

Do you write smut?

It’s been known to happen, I guess 👀

Craziest crossover:

I haven’t written any AO3-era crossovers! A few fusions/media AUs, but no crossovers.

Have you ever had a fic stolen?

Not to my knowledge.

Have you ever had a fic translated?

Nope. I’ve only been asked once, and they wanted to post off AO3 which is a big heck nope for me (and my permissions statement has now been updated to reflect that)

Have you ever co-written a fic before?

Heck yeah I have. I’ve done several anthology-type collaborations where we each wrote a chapter in a fic, and I’ve fully cowritten fics with @ships-to-sail several times. We have another collab coming up for @aroyallybigbangrwrb and I’m also cowriting The Big Secret AU with @indestructibleheart which is essentially us one-upping each other on emotionally devastating ideas until someone writes them down. Good system 😂

All time favorite ship?

Stop making pansexuals choose things.

What's a wip you want to finish but doubt you ever will?

Look, the chances of kinktober 2021 being finished at this point are slim 😂

Schitt’s Creek kinkverse… I don’t know. I have little snippets written of future fics and they’re great but… idk. Maybe I’ll write one vignette-y wrap up fic one day.

What are your writing strengths?

Narrative POV, dialogue that feels like the characters, epistolary bullshit, smut apparently.

What are your writing weaknesses?

Coming up with actual plot lmao. Visual descriptors — I’m not even remotely a visual person so I really really struggle with writing the sorts of things people can visualise. Also like… the passage of time? A scam.

Thoughts on dialogue in another language?

Love it. I’ll shoulder tap a fluent speaker if I need an actual sentence/anything Google isn’t super reliable for. Forever heartbroken that there are no fics in my second language in AO3 and no reason for me to be able to sprinkle it into my own writing (though one of the subscriber shindig prompts might be about to change that 👀)

First fandom you wrote in?

HP

Favorite fic you've written?

Stop! Asking! Pansexuals! To! Choose! Things!

I don’t know there are 239 of the bloody things 😂 I’m far more interested in what other people’s favourites are than what my own is!

I have no sense of who’s done this already so apologies if this is a double up but tagging @agame-writes @affectionatelyrs @anincompletelist @cricketnationrise @getmehighonmagic

@happiness-of-the-pursuit @hgejfmw-hgejhsf @indestructibleheart @inexplicablymine @nontoxic-writes

@read-and-write- @rmd-writes @sparklepocalypse @welcometololaland @whimsymanaged and, as always, anyone who wants to play!

[perotovar]

twenty questions for fic writers 💖

tagged by @kedsandtubesocks and @nerdieforpedro thank you, loves! ♥

1. How many works do you have on AO3?

technically 4 lol i'm slowly moving my stuff over there. i barely get any traction there compared to tumblr so it's sort of just there in case anyone prefers that format. i like the community i've built over here so i'm not worried about it!

2. What's your total AO3 word count?

apparently 60,272 which is WILD

3. What fandoms do you write for?

the pedro pascal cinematic universe! i've thought about branching out into the bg3 fandom or possibly a couple other games, but the inspiration is with the pedro boys rn ♥

4. Top five fics by kudos

i'll go with the highest number of notes on here i suppose??

baby i'm-a want you (joel x javier p)

into the beat of the night (frankie x oc!river price)

bloody kisses (shane morrissey x tim rockford)

ásjá (pero tovar x ofc!helga)

rebirth (javi g x reader)

5. Do you respond to comments?

i've been really bad about it, but yeah, i certainly try to!

6. What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

ch1 of bloody kisses ends pretty angsty, but it's got nothing on given to fly, my joel x tess drabble (which i don't think a lot of people even know i wrote lmao)

7. What's the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

i can tell you right now, itbotn will have a happy ending :)

8. Do you get hate on fics?

i don't think i write the popular boys enough for that. and most of my stuff is queer, which has a smaller audience. so, fingers crossed, no not yet

9. Do you write smut?

yep

10. Craziest crossover?

i feel like putting one of the characters in a macho man heist movie into a goth club was a pretty insane crossover lol but probably bloody kisses, too, because it's between a criminal and a detective. who says opposites don't attract? 😉

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

not that i'm aware of omfg

12. Have you ever had a fic translated?

no, but that would be cool!

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before?

yeah, me and @chronically-ghosted work on bloody kisses together! her contribution is my favorite chapter so far, definitely

14. All time favorite ship?

joel/tess has been one of my absolute favorites for years. halsin/astarion is a very close second <3

15. What's a wip you want to finish but doubt you ever will?

i really wanna write the metal!pero and metal!ezra fic but i'm not sure i'll figure out the plot for it sdflkghjdg they're messing with me a lot

16. What are your writing strengths?

i think i'm good at dialogue? banter?

17. What are your writing weaknesses?

interesting descriptions. describing a mood/atmosphere is fucking hard and idk how y'all do it lol

18. Thoughts on dialogue in another language?

i think it's cool! i wish i spoke spanish better than my beginniner duolingo ass can so i can use it more often, but yeah lol

19. First fandom you wrote in?

it was for a band lmao like 10 years ago. i wrote like 2 smutty oneshots and have promptly deleted them off the internet

20. Favorite fic you've written?

god, that's an evil question! tbh it might be a tie between itbotn and bloody kisses. those are my babies and i'm super proud of the universes i created with them!

np tags: @ezrasbirdie @sp00kymulderr @qveerthe0ry @for-a-longlongtime

@goodwithcheese @missredherring @marisferasiop @swiftispunk @mrsmando

@ghostofaboy and anyone else that wants to ♥

[autisticlancemcclain]

fic rec friday 15

welcome the the fifteenth fic rec friday! where, on friday, i rec five of my favourite fics.  

1. there, nestled against his pulse by @hiuythn

stop why are you doing this to me stop it stop it stop--

klance soulmate au where your right wrist has the first words your soulmate says to you, and the left holds the last words they'll say to you. super sad, so much angst, and i've been informed it'll make you sob until you choke.

1. there, nestled against his pulse (the main story, from Keith's POV) 2. this is what love looks like: (tnahp from Lance's POV + 38k of sequel content) 3. roll credits (deleted/extra scenes and additional headcanons)

okay. i am so desperately obsessed with this fic, i was obsessed with it the first time i read it and im obsessed with it now. and yes i know i did all hiuythn fics last week and i promise i wont this week. BUT i have a set of comments associated with this fic bc it is Just That Good and so i shall present them to u now:

- literally the funniest characterization of shiro i’ve ever read. this shiro is gay and tired. this shiro unironically and frequently says “move. i’m gay” and gets away with it at the garrison. this shiro has been through A Lot and just wants to fucking retire - allura here is so so funny she’s such a badass. she’s giving “i love shiny things! like the shine of your spilled blood on the floor if you say that dumb shit one more fucking time!!” we stan a queen. - coran is a Mood. this man is desperately trying to reign in four teenagers and two young adults and just wants to go to bed and also he cares for them all so so much. ultimate dad - pidge is Mischief Personified. she is a brat and i adore her. she’s here to cause problems and by god she will succeed - hunk is so done it’s so fucking funny. “that’s literally impossible.” he’s a genius and he knows it, he’s glad to call you out on your bullshit. he doesn’t even TRY to pretend he can keep a secret and/or handle drama god what a mood - don’t even get me started on klance!! they’re so funny omg. the banter is EXQUISITE. lance and keith adore each other so much and they’re so badass. literally the coolest power couple fight scenes ever to be made, i do adore. gosh. and the ROMANCE they are so devoted to each other i’m emotional - honourable mention of lance’s legs and keith’a Soft Squishy Feelings that are mentioned so often that they’re characters. iconic. all in all, the best way to describe this series is Gay and Tired. i love it and i’m sad to see it end. i will be rereading it an embarrassing number of times. infinity/10

2. all the little things by @jilliancares

Or: 5 times Keith let Lance get away with things that he'd never let anyone else do, and 1 time Lance realized that he was, apparently, special

oblivious lance will always be funny to me. and the idea of keith just letting lance get away with Everything and Everyone knowing how whipped he is except for lance himself?? peak humour. never not funny

3. Full Disclosure by @dragonomatopoeia

Keith is impulsive and straightforward when it comes to most things, and emotions are no exception. It's no surprise, then, that when he realises that he might have developed a crush on Lance, he tries to tell him immediately. Unfortunately, it's very hard to account for both circumstance and who Lance is as a person.

Alternatively: Four Times Keith Tried to Confess and One Time Lance Actually Understood

more 2016 eliteness!! this fic is hilarious. and also its number one selling quality is that all of the characters are trans and nd i literally love that for them. nonbinary hunk loml

4. catch me, before i fall by @pastelrainbow

‘We are a good team.’

Even now, just recalling the way Lance had smiled as the words left his lips, made Keith’s heart race and his cheeks redden. Lance had never looked at him so fondly before. No boy ever had. The thought of it made a sigh escape his lips and Keith hunched his shoulders, a pout tugging his lips downwards.

Curse my weak gay heart.

-

a what if keith caught lance outside his cryo-pod.

the idea of keith being a suave casanova with more game than aphrodite herself but immediately going bright red and hissing when shiro teases him. peak dynamic. absolutely nailed siblings 

5. of demons and dates by spartona (faveour)

Three times Keith scares Lance shitless with his ghost shenanigans, and one time Lance tries to retaliate.

first of all. BFU KLANCE BFU KLANCE BFU KLANCE. second of all. the  “we’ve BEEN dating u dumbass ily” trope is so funny to me. i will never get over it

that’s it for today!! i’ll see y’all back next friday for the next fic rec post!!!

[ravs6709]

Fluid Like The Water - LG & CXS

Word count: 1.2k words

Or read on ao3 here!

Fic idea, prompt by @anulithots !! Cheng xiaoshi wears the dress he got in the chibi shorts, and lu guang sees him. Also feat: genderfluid cxs and secret third thing shiguang <3

Now I'm sure the intent on the prompt was just something short and silly, but unfortunately

1) because I've wanted to make a genderfluid exploration fic for a diff char for so long but never knew how to do it ← cis woman, and I dont think I'd be able to nail it twice so I've elected to do Lu guang pov except Overthinking

2) took a more Realistic Approach to what it's like being queer. Ignoring cultural impacts because I don't know what it's like there but either way theres going to be some amount of ignorance. And so it's not really that silly </3

Anyways hope you enjoy it anyway!!!

•~•~•~•~•~•

“Cheng Xiaoshi!” Lu Guang called out as he entered the photo shop.

No answer. He probably wasn't downstairs then. Maybe napping upstairs, or listening to music with those new pair of headphones Qiao Ling had recently gotten for his birthday a couple weeks ago.

Hopefully not—

He climbed the stairs, finding that their shared bedroom door was wide open.

“Che—”

He stopped. Cheng Xiaoshi had phone out as if to take a selfie, grinning and winking, one hand making a heart with his fingers. That, in of itself, wasn't too unusual, though the three of them rarely took photos of themselves ever since they'd first encountered the twins. Any pictures they wanted to keep as a memory were immediately printed to be put into their newly created shared scrapbook, and then promptly deleted off the camera.

No, what was unusual was what he was wearing. He'd seen that outfit; only once, during their group livestream, when Cheng Xiaoshi had unboxed his gift, and held up an extra large sized pink dress. He whined about it, during the stream and then even for a few days after, and Lu Guang had honestly been convinced that he threw it out given that he never referred to it again afterward.

The dress itself sat a little odd on him with his broader shoulders, but he was slender enough that it didn't look that awkward. It went to his mid-thighs and was simple, no cups that needed to be filled in or anything like that.

Cheng Xiaoshi whipped around at the sound of his voice, still technically in his pose but his charming demeanour had gone completely stiff.

Neither of them said anything in particular. Cheng Xiaoshi was probably in shock, while Lu Guang didn't really know what to say. A dress. Cheng Xiaoshi in a dress.

Abruptly, Cheng Xiaoshi's hand moved, holding his phone close as he seemed to type something on his phone. After about a minute, he shoved the phone at Lu Guang's face.

He stared at the image, then back up at Cheng Xiaoshi.

“I'm buying you a yellow sundress!” he said cheerfully, but Lu Guang knew full well whenever he faked enthusiasm.

His smile just a centimetre too wide, his voice a bit too high pitched. It was rare for him to be like this, he was usually open about most things that bothered him. He for the most part, only ever acted like this whenever he was reminded of his still absent parents.

“I don't have an interest in dressing like a woman,” Lu Guang said neutrally.

Apparently that had been the wrong to say: Cheng Xiaoshi’s expression completely shattered for all of a millisecond, invisible to anyone except himself, who had spent too long closely watching him.

“I'm buying it anyway!” Cheng Xiaoshi said, his smile growing even wider.

Lu Guang took in a breath, trying to figure out the best way to navigate these unstable waters. “We don't have the budget for it.”

“Ah, you're right,” he said, shoulders slumping. “it looks stupid on me.”

That's not what he had said at all. The brief moment Lu Guang had glimpsed before he'd ended up making his presence known, Cheng Xiaoshi had looked almost confident in himself. Clearly hadn't thought himself to look stupid, posing and taking a selfie.

Lu Guang had no idea what this was about, didn't know why Cheng Xiaoshi seemed to be dressing up as a woman all of a sudden—oh, was he wearing makeup, the pen on the table definitely belonged to Qiao Ling.

What Lu Guang did know was that his reaction had disappointed him. Maybe even hurt him.

“Cheng Xiaoshi. Why are you..?”

He laughed. “Playing dress-up? No reason, just wanted to see if I looked hot if I was a woman. Obviously it looks weird, given I don't have the right parts, y'know?”

“Don't be so crass about it.” And even that, he knew, wasn’t right. If he had been dressing for such trivial reasons, he wouldn't be all flighty about it. “This means something to you.”

“Pft,” was the sound coming out of him, deliberately casual.

“Cheng Xiaoshi,” he said. 

He took a step forward, taking the phone that was still loosely gripped in his hands and set it aside. He grabbed him by the arm and pulled him to sit on the bed. Just like that, the smile dropped.

“Sometimes I feel like a woman,” he said, which definitely weren't the words he'd been expecting to hear.

“Sometimes?” he asked. “What does that mean?”

He shrugged. “I don't even know myself. I just—do sometimes. Most of the time, I feel myself—a man. But sometimes I don't. I think.”

Even though he had a feeling of the answer, he still asked, “When did this start?”

A pause. “After diving.”

Lu Guang remembered some of their first dives, remembered the first time he’d informed Cheng Xiaoshi that the host body would be a woman.

(“I'm diving into a woman?” he asked, furrowing his brows, “Isn't that weird? What if I have to pee?”

“Why are you only now asking that.”

“It never came up! But if I’m gonna be a different gender, I’m gonna have different body parts!”

Lu Guang sighed. “You sit, okay? Don't make it weird.”

And then in the dive—a picture taken in a bathroom, the client having taken a picture of herself after doing her makeup—Cheng Xiaoshi had stared at the client's face, until Lu Guang reminded him he would miss the bus.

Throughout the dive, Cheng Xiaoshi complained about the feeling of heels, if so many women really had to wear them every day, and all sorts of other minor complaints.)

“Do you think it's a side effect?” 

After all, he knew that Cheng Xiaoshi would temporarily take on their identities and shoulder their memories. That he still had nightmares of the clients’ most traumatic moments.

Cheng Xiaoshi had never expressed this kind of sentiment before, not in the past, not in previous timelines.

“Maybe,” he murmured, "but it feels different.”

He wondered what was different. If it was a good thing or not.

“Do you want to take a break?”

“...you don't think something is wrong with me, do you?”

“I didn't mean it like that—”

“It's fine, really.”

Again, it seemed like Lu Guang was saying the wrong thing. He wasn't used to conversations where he had no idea what the outcome was meant to be.

“Cheng Xiaoshi,” he said slowly, trying to figure out where to go. “We can buy a dress for me too.”

“Woah, woah, woah,” Cheng Xiaoshi sputtered, “you don't have to do all that.”

“If it will make you more comfortable, then I won't mind. If you wish to… explore your feelings, that is.”

Lu Guang would do anything for him. Had already turned back time for him, more than once. Wearing a dress wouldn't be a big deal.

“But we don't have the budget—”

“A cheaper dress, then.”

“And what if I am a woman? Sometimes, that is?”

“Then I'll learn.” And then: “...you don't look stupid right now.”

“Oh really now?” Cheng Xiaoshi raised an eyebrow, genuine laughter dancing in his eyes. “Did I look hot or se—”

“You looked fine,” Lu Guang said with a roll of his eyes. “Just… you’ll figure it out.”

•~•~•~•~•~•

Lc taglist: @subrosasteath ,@anulithots

Want to be added/removed from the taglist? Just let me know!

[phanfictioncatalogue]

Trauma Masterlist

Absolutely Lovely (ao3) - Autumn_Kismet

Summary: His friends and family think he’s acting strange, they’re worried that he’s depressed again, but Dan doesn’t see it. The only thing he sees is the new guy at school, the quirky one with the black hair and stunning blue eyes, and that’s bad. So bad… because he likes him, and Dan can’t like him. Dan can’t be gay. He’ll lose his family, he’ll lose his friends… he’ll become just like his father, and that’s the last thing that he wants in the entire world. It’s a scary thought that he doesn’t think will ever go away and if there’s the possibility of that happening, of him becoming the disgusting monster that his father was, or is, then maybe the world is better off without him, regardless of what PJ’s dad, his mum’s new husband, has to say.

Break Me (ao3) - MySecretsX

Summary: In this world, you’re marked with black. That’s if you have a soulmate at least. Everyone is destined to cross paths with the one who is meant for them, at least once in their lives.

When you and your soulmate meet, you will touch, if only briefly, and the exact area of skin you touch with the other turns from black to white, with streaks of blue, purple, yellow, all marbled in with each other.

Daniel Howell is well-known in town. People cross the street if they’re approaching him and newcomers to the neighbourhood are warned about his presence. Exactly like the Lester’s were. But Phil Lester has other ideas, he saw the pain within the boy, how bad can he really be?

(A story about abuse, self-destruction, but ultimately, love. Please read safely.)

Change Will Come (ao3) - rainbowchristy

Summary: Dan’s a depressed university student. Phil’s just a cute coffee shop barista who writes notes on Dan’s hot chocolates.

coffee at midnight (ao3) - waveydnp

Summary: A recent trauma has lead Phil to embrace a ‘try new things’ approach to his life. One of those new things is learning how to swim, and Dan is the lifeguard who’s going to teach him.

Filling The Void (ao3) - Merrydith

Summary: For Dan Howell, it was almost too easy. Once in a while became every week, which became every few days. And now, this was the fourth person he’d brought home that week and it was only Friday. What happens when Phil suggests Dan takes it easy?

Forgive Me (ao3) - FollowYourDreams

Summary: The year is 2224. Dan Howell is the prince of Pacis, living in the lavish Community, dreading his 21st birthday. Phil Lester is a servant at the Community, and has been for 6 years ever since he was taken from his home. On a fateful day, Dan and Phil lock eyes for the first time, and everything changes, but neither of them know if it’s for better or worse.

Frigid (ao3) - mooksie01

Summary: Daniel Howell is trouble. It’s a well-known fact of the school, and Phil isn’t stupid enough to try to interact with him… at least, he wasn’t. But now he’s talking to Dan, learning about him, and suddenly wanting to protect him? Where did he go wrong?? And why the hell is Dan Howell so damn pretty???

Get Out Your Damn Umbrellas (ao3) - llamalamp

Summary: This fic is based on a brilliant work by wordsongs called When It Rains It Pours (which unfortunately has been deleted). There will be several plot deviations, and the text and dialogue will be quite different, but I can’t take any credit for the storyline.

"Phil's only gone for one weekend. Apparently that's all the time it takes for everything to fall apart."

Basically this is how I imagined the story would go as an established relationship fic instead of slow burn. The result isn’t really any less painful.

Head Down Low (ao3) - Rhensis

Summary: Dan isn’t right. He’s not like most of the others, he’s not genetically pure. He has no destined path, he has nothing going for him in life. He’ll be lucky to get himself a job in a fast food kitchen, and everyone looks down on him like he’s a piece of dirt stuck at the bottom of their shoe. Except one person: Phil Lester.

“Listen” - adorkablephil

Summary: Phil is a successful YouTuber, and Dan is a fan desperate for attention. Sounds like 2009, right? Except Phil is Deaf.

Nobody, Not Even the Rain - botanistlester

Summary: (tw) Dan is fine. It’s what he’s told himself all along. Even though it hurts when he has sex with his boyfriend, even though he shakes for no reason at all; he’s fine. He’s happy. But when he meets Phil, he learns about respect, trust, and how a relationship is truly supposed to be like. Most of all, he learns that maybe he’s not doing so well after all.

Restless (ao3) - overwhelmedbysonder

Summary: the one where Phil struggles with depression, PTSD and being mute, and Dan just wants to hug him.

Shut Your Mouth and Listen Closely (ao3) - SimplyUndead

Summary: Dan is mute with an unfortunate past. Phil is a nice boy with a warm heart and love to give.

Someday - philsdrill

Summary: “Everyone had a link with their soulmates, some could hear some of their partners thoughts, some had a tattoo that would appear with their partners name; for me, I knew when they got sick.” For a while Phil has thought that his soulmate might have an eating disorder and doesn’t expect to meet him in the restaurant where he works.

Some Kind Of Folliful (ao3) - danfanciesphil (thejigsawtimess)

Summary: Dan has one friend, and only because he was forced into it. Phil is loud, excitable, and irritatingly happy all of the time. Phil seems to find Dan’s perpetual attitude funny, and despite Dan’s best efforts to shun him and everyone else, wants to be around him all the time. That is, until Phil starts talking about Amanda Jones.

St Anthony’s Secondary is a school divided by class. Their town is split down the middle, quite literally, by a railroad that separates the affluent families from the destitute. Dan is on the very outskirts of the poor side. He has one friend, and no desire to make any more, nor to buy into the sickening popularity and wealth contest of his peers. He thought Phil felt the same. And then, out of the blue, Phil develops a worrying obsession with a girl from the other side. She embodies everything Dan hates; he tries to explain this to Phil, to no avail. As his obsession with Amanda grows, as does Dan’s loathing for her. Still, it shouldn’t bug Dan this much to see his friend pine some braindead bimbo relying on her boyfriend’s wallet. So why does it?

Stardust - brerediddy

Summary: Dan is not a writer. Dan just likes to look at the stars and listen to the river move and hang out with his best friend Phil. He’s not a writer, but somehow, writing changes everything.

Sweet Pea - botanistlester

Summary: A nickname that goes bitter in your mouth. Cries for help that no one listens to. Gentle hands that make you quake on the ground you’re standing on. When Phil first met Nico, he thought he was a gift from the heavens. But behind the mask lies something daunting, something unnerving, that Phil never foresaw. Through his journey, he finds solace in Dan, the regular at his workplace, who seems to be the only one who sees through Nico’s mask to the darkness underneath.

The Warmth of Other Suns (ao3) - Emptylester (timelordangel)

Summary: The entire time Dan and Phil are in America, Dan is technically pregnant- but he’s the only one one who doesn’t talk about it like he’s sick with a cancerous growth that needs to be removed as soon as possible. It’s pretty horrible to have hope that you’ll get to have a biological kid with your significant other and then have it ripped away; this is more about the emotional journey. The baby might not make it, but Dan and Phil will.

Trust Me, I’m Broken Too (ao3) - natigail

Summary: The Lesters – the royal family of his homeland – was nothing like Dan thought they would be. Well, the King was just as horrible as he had heard but the King’s brother’s son, who was third in line for the throne, was nothing like Dan thought he’d be. Dan had been adrift for three years going from one “place of employment” to another, only his life was seen as worthless and he was more property than an employee. He had never imagined he’s end up as the property of Prince Philip.

The Prince had no intention of ever taking on a personal servant, which was a fancy name to disguise the fact a law essentially enslaved people. Phil often had to do things he didn’t want to or risk being removed from the succession to the crown. If that happened, who knew who his tyrant of an uncle would pick as a successor? When pressured into the choosing, he’d wanted to go for the most innocent, young girl, but hard brown eyes caught his attention instead.

Ubi sunt qui ante nos fuerunt? (ao3) - TheOrangeAurora

Summary: After a heated, recurring argument, Dan leaves the apartment to calm down. Little did they know that by Dan walking out on his and Phil's fight, both of their lives will change drastically. It's a story of how unfortunate coincidences and an unjust sentence can forever change a person.

Wrestle With Your Demons So You Can Be Left Alone (ao3) - starrywrite

Summary: (tw) Dan learns the hard way that not everyone understands no means no.

[aughtpunk]

A03 Questions Tag Game

I got tagged by: @coffincrows

I tag: @ventela1 @autumn2may @farshootingstar

1 – How many works do you have on AO3?

70

2 – What's your total AO3 word count?

552,955

3 – What fandoms do you write for?

In no particular order: Cult of the Lamb, Welcome to Night Vale, Disco Elysium, Good Omens, Overwatch and a bunch of series I've only written one fic in

4 – What are your top five fics by kudos?

Points on a Circle (Overwatch, lots of ships, mainly Yeehan)

Now Streaming: Love! (Overwatch, lots of ships, D.va POV)

White is Not the New Black (Good Omens, Ineffable Husbands)

Fusion is Just a Cheap Tactic to Make Weak Angels Stronger (Good Omens, Ineffable Husbands)

Welcome to Cyber Vale (Welcome to Night Vale, Cecilos)

5 – Do you respond to comments?

I may accidentally skip a few (sorry) but I try to respond to everyone!

6 – What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

Another Pyramid, although I'm not sure I would call it angsty. The fic is about two robots (omnics) discussion an opera and the play based on it, and it ends with one of the robots wondering if the more opened-ended play could possibly be about the endless cycle of tragedy and romance, and how that's very fitting in the current war for robot rights.

7 – What's the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

Probably To Forgive is Divine since it ends with the Bishop family back together AND Narinder and Lamb as a couple AND other happy spoilers

8 – Do you get hate on fics?

Okay so I wouldn't call it hate but I will take a moment to talk about the weirdest comment I ever got on a fic: Someone once posted in the third chapter of a fic that they hadn't read the first two chapters (on purpose) and they were only going to read every-other chapter from then on. And then every other chapter they kept posting about how the fic made no sense and kept asking questions that were answered in the parts they skipped.

Yeah I ended up blocking them and deleting the comments. Like, the fuck?

9 – Do you write smut? If so, what kind?

I have written smut. I would describe it as "bad".

10 – Do you write crossovers? What's the craziest one you've written?

Probably the Good Omens/Pokemon crossover fic The Evils of Truth and Love. Sadly I couldn't figure out anything to do with it plot-wise so it's only just three chapters of silliness.

11 – Have you ever had a fic stolen?

No idea. Imagine someone stealing my work. It'd be like someone stealing my twelve year old hyundai. Like, why?

12 – Have you ever had a fic translated?

Yes! I know Cyber Vale got partially translated, and one of my Disco Elysium fics was translated into Russian!

13 – Have you ever co-written a fic?

No, I'm not into co-writing.

14 – What's your all-time favorite ship?

Probably X/Zero. Which is funny considering I've never written a ship about them.

15 – What's a WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will?

Dear Notes in a Line and Five Shalle Ryde fans:

I swear I'll come back one day to finish these. Pinky-swear.

16 – What are your writing strengths?

Apparently I have a real knack for writing immortal God/God-like beings/Immortal Robots and I don't know what to do with this power besides writing fanfic.

17 – What are your writing weaknesses?

I am so, so bad at smut. I've tried, you guys. I've really tried. But writing it feels like someone is sandpapering my brain. In another timeline where I can write smut I'm probably making bank on a terrible amazon published erotica series.

18 – Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language in fic?

I try to avoid it myself because I can barely handle English most days. Never mind other languages Do you know how many times I've failed French 1? Six. SIX TIMES.

EDIT: It has been pointed out to me that I've written multiple characters in multiple stories that use ASL. I am not a clever person.

19 – First fandom you wrote for?

NiGHTS Into Dreams! It's called TWiNS and I actually dug it up from the depths of FF.net to post on Ao3 because I'm so proud of my teen self for writing it.

20 – Favorite fic you've written?

Probably As Mayflies, which I wrote one beautiful summer morning while I was feeling very emotional over Sir Terry Pratchett's passing and wrote a little story about how the humans Crowley and Aziraphale meet live forever in their hearts.

[welcometololaland]

20 Questions aka. Oversharing on the Internet version 92840938

Thanks for the tag @rmd-writes - how did you know i didn't feel like doing work?

1. How many works do you have on AO3?

excluding the ones i've flagged for deletion (when i get around to it) - 46.

2. What’s your total AO3 word count?

972,000 and i'm going to hit a million by the end of the year! i have one co-written collab so we can subtract about 30k (ish) from that total (but with ALTA i'll still make a milly woohoo).

3. What fandoms do you write for?

Red, White & Royal Blue, 911 Lone Star, Top Gun Maverick (occasionally)

4. What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

ah man this kills me because it excludes my most beloved fic (love game lol). in descending order:

Speak for Yourself (RWRB, my very first fic for that fandom! 2021 me in her study writing a random 3k first chapter could never have imagined being this lucky)

The Ring-In (with @dustratcentral) (911 Lone Star, this fic makes me feel like my Tarlos writing has gotten worse instead of better lmao)

Fifty First Dates (RWRB)

(Not) A Cinderella Story (RWRB)

Cursed is a State of Mind (with @dustratcentral) (RWRB, just about to hit 1k! there's something magical about an ifyoustay collab apparently)

jeez i never realised how RWRB heavy that is...

5. Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?

Always. You put in the effort to comment on my work, I'm gonna put in the effort to reply to you. I appreciate comments so much, even if they're just emojis or one line or whatever. I appreciate every single one of them (except the mean ones).

6. What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

I don't usually go here, but I think it has to be Contaminated (RWRB).

7. What’s the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

99% of my fics have happy endings (except for the fic above lol) but I'd say the happiest ending is in (Un)Professional Services because they're So. In. Love. and they just *spoiler* together and they're about to *spoiler*.

8. Do you get hate on fics?

Rarely and I usually ignore it or delete it (so there's no point doing it).

9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind?

A Lot. Usually served with a heavy side of feelings - I like it when the smut drives the plot, when it helps the characters have those Oh Shit realisations. I'm also a sucker for explicit, enthusiastic consent.

10. Do you write crossovers? What’s the craziest one you’ve written?

I have written like 30% of a RWRB/Lone Star crossover that may never see the light of day because I keep forgetting about it.

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

If I have, I don't know about it.

12. Have you ever had a fic translated?

Yes! I've had a few of my fics translated by incredible people! Phonography, Warm Whispers and Baby, Make Your Move have all been translated and can be found above. I'm fine with people translating my fics, so long as they're linked to the original and remain on ao3.

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before?

Yes and I love it. I want to do it more often! @rmd-writes collab was an amazing experience. i've also loved working with @dustratcentral on so many of my more unhinged works.

14. What’s your all time favorite ship?

I don't think I can choose between Alex/Henry and TK/Carlos.

15. What’s a WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will?

Probably that damn crossover, unless there's like significant interest in me finishing it lmao.

16. What are your writing strengths?

Oh no. giving myself a compliment help. I would say worldbuilding. dialogue/banter. gratuitous feelings during sex.

17. What are your writing weaknesses?

exposition. being concise. overwriting to the max @three-drink-amy (this is an attack on you as well but we are we).

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language in fic?

i've done it before but to be honest i'm scared to. 1) i don't want to get it wrong. 2) i don't want to annoy my very talented friends that can speak other languages by asking them 10 billion questions lol.

19. First fandom you wrote for?

...I plead the 5th.

20. Favorite fic you’ve written?

Love Game. I don't care that it's not as popular. it's my child. Also, ALTA (because of the many tears that went into it). We are bonded by trauma.

open tag on this one and also calling: @reyesstrand @strandnreyes @heartstringsduet @alrightbuckaroo @three-drink-amy @goodways @iboatedhere @wandering-night19 @birdclowns @liminalmemories21 @indomitable-love @clottedcreamfudge @sherryvalli @cha-melodius @cricketnationrise @carlos-in-glasses @bonheur-cafe @theghostofashton @orchidscript @lemonlyman-dotcom @kiwiana-writes @freneticfloetry @sunshinestrand @nelsonnicholas @tailoredshirt @cold-blooded-jelly-doughnut @lightningboltreader @hippolotamus @dumbpeachjuice @tellmegoodbye @ladytessa74 @louisii-reyes-strand @beautifulhigh @athousandrooms @villiageidiot @inflarescent @marjansmarwani @safeashousespdf @tintagel-or-cockleshells @sanjuwrites @lilythesilly @kiloskywalker @noxsoulmate

[immortalbutterflycos]

For the WIP ask game:

💾What is your document of your wip/ a wip called? (not the stories actual title but what you’ve saved it as)

And:

❤️❤️❤️

Good morning~ (it's 8 am here when I'm writing this) I meant for this to be my first post of the day, but while trying to find the information I have, I found out that the summary section of Google Docs was deleted along with all of my "summaries" (which are, because my brain simply cannot function on a "normal" level, actually extensive plot notes that I now lost forever. Which is super cool~ ^.^ <3 Just another reason why I prefer to write on paper I guess...

Anyway, sorry about that, I'm not in a super fantastic mood rn.

BUT! To answer your question, unfortunately, I don't have an extremely fun one for this for the main fic that I've been working on. But that is primarily because I literally have -and I'm not kidding because I went back and counted them all- Ninety-nine docs relevant to this fic and I'm about to start on #100 because I just thought of a new plot point yesterday (that I thankfully wrote on paper since I was at work) and I need to give it a home.😂

And that is JUST for 'The Art of Running for Our Lives' (aka TAoRfOL since writing that title out every time is exhausting 😂)

I had to make a whole-ass Masterlist of docs with their links so that I could keep track of them and all of the titles are more spoilery than anything so that I know that what information I need to find will be in that doc before I click on it.

I started writing this fic in March, 2023 and I wish that I could tell you that this was all simple overkill, but I wish it was. It's not even posted yet but this plot has a grand total of 8 main characters and the AU I'm doing is so niche that I'm trying to merge magic systems (to an extent) and keeping track of timelines is wild in this one even without my ADHD getting in the way of things.

I'd say I do this because I hate myself, but this is very much a passion project and I really just want to do it the justice it deserves. 💜

That being said, I do have a few doc titles I'm willing to share because I think they're silly (I know, it took a WHILE to get here. Have I mentioned that I have really bad unregulated ADHD? 😂)

"TAoRfOL Cheat Sheet: [insert character name here]"

"James isn't doing well (TAoRfOL)"

"Post-[redacted] Dorlene Heist"

"I was in my feels..."

✨Bonus from other AU's:✨

"The cat distribution system but the cat is Regulus"

and finally,

"this was supposed to be smut how did I get here..?"

TL;DR: I have ADHD so there is no 1 specific doc for my fic. And also because I apparently need to dip my toes in every pond I find, (write too many fics/AUs at once), most of my docs are titled "[blank] AU" with a small description of the contents in the title.

Also apparently I can't give a simple answer to any of these ask games. Hope this is okay because I have no self-control and I'm very passionate about this fic.

[cinematicnomad]

20 Questions for Fic Writers

tagged by @zainclaw and @andavs 🥰🥰🥰

How many works do you have on ao3? 39 apparently

What's your total ao3 word count? 288,797 words

What fandoms do you write for? actively right now? nothing really lol. haven't published a fic since 2022. but i guess you could say 911 and teen wolf given some random WIPs in my drafts. also i randomly started jotting down some notes for a stranger things steve/eddie fic that will probably never be written.

Top five fics by kudos 01. take my hand (take my everything) (buddie) 02. taste your beating heart (sterek) 03. so show me (family) (buddie) 04. you never said a word (sterek) 05. be careful (my darling) (buddie)

Do you respond to comments? yes, always! i usually try to wait until i have a dozen or so, which can sometimes take a bit of time, but eventually i respond to it all.

What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending? i have a sterek drabble called and i fell heavy into your arms (688 words) that is basically derek seeing stiles die and then immediately letting himself be killed

What's the fic you wrote with the happiest ending? most of them?? not sure i can think of one specifically that was happier than the others.

Do you get hate on fics? ah, i almost said no, but then i remembered that for my fic taste your beating heart every now and then i'll get scott fans who think the fic should be tagged as "bad friend scott mccall" even though he's NOT a bad friend in the fic, it's just a nuanced view of their changing relationship. like, that fic is about 3 main things that include: stiles and derek getting together, solving the main mystery, and stiles and scott's friendship maturing to a place where they can love each other and still be brothers without thinking they need to be in the same pack!! like it's FUNDAMENTAL.

anyway, i had one reader who i think quit the fic halfway through bc i gently pushed back on their rage comment insulting derek and stiles for a fight that takes place with scott. the reader left an angry reply to my response, which they then deleted before i could even look at it, and then never commented on the fic again even though they'd been commenting on the fic since chapter 1.

Do you write smut? no not really. i don't know why i'm so bad at writing sex, but i am very bad at writing sex.

Craziest crossover i have no crossovers

Have you ever had a fic stolen? not that i know of??

Have you ever had a fic translated? yes, someone translated my mike/harvey suits fic trembling hands into russian all the way back in 2013.

Have you ever cowritten a fic before? i have not!

All time favourite ship? to write? to read? no idea, so i refuse to answer.

What's a wip you want to finish but doubt you ever will? i've got a sterek idea that's an AU of the netflix show virgin river. i had a pretty brief outline that i sketched out some, and even started writing a little, but it never went anywhere. i did create an AU gifset for it and every now and then when people start reblogging it i think about going back to try and write it.

What are your writing strengths? i think i'm good at realistic dialogue? but i don't know. i haven't written in a while so i'm not feeling super great about my writing at this very moment.

What are your writing weaknesses? i suck at setting a scene. and conveying a complex emotion. also i feel like i get v bogged down in what characters are physically doing or whatever and i try to describe it and it just detracts from the story over all. yikes ok i'm feeling worse about my writing than i thought lol

Thoughts on dialogue in another language? if the context is there to understand what's being said, great. otherwise, just adding context to the dialogue tag (he said in french, in german, etc) works. personally i'd prefer not to scroll back and forth between the fic and the notes to figure out what's being said.

First fandom you wrote in? harry potter. on the site quizilla back in the year of our lord 2005 lol. i started off writing like. a harry/oc fic lol where the protagonist was the classic american exchange student who had her own prophecy. truly mortifying!!

Favorite fic you've written? i have a soft spot for taste your beating heart bc it was the first long fic i ever completed and it took me 7 fucking years to write it. but i think my favorite is actually finding our way (back home) which i really think captured everything i was aiming to do. will i ever be able to do that again??? who fucking knows. probably not. on the more self-indulgent side, i really really love the margaret buckley character study i wrote called so far from who i was.

tagging!! @woodchoc-magnum, @crazyassmurdererwall, @tattooedsiren, @machtaholic, @catdadeddie, @tripleaxeldiaz, @valleydean, @thisapplepielife, and anyone else who wants to do this.

[kaleidodreams]

20 Questions for Writers

Thanks for the tag, @they-lived! I'm not going to tag anyone, but if you want to steal this, feel free.

How many works do you have on AO3?

223

What’s your total AO3 word count?

1,782,322

What fandoms do you write for?

Currently, my main fandoms are Yuri!!! on Ice and Sailor Moon, but I've written for Fruits Basket, Kaleido Star, Harry Potter, Card Captor Sakura, Someday's Dreamers, Princess Tutu, Fire Emblem, and Super GALS in the past.

What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

Midnight Magic (Card Captor Sakura) with 415

No Longer Alone (Kaleido Star) with 167

One Kiss (Sailor Moon) with 152

Realization (Sailor Moon) with 152

Distraction (Sailor Moon) with 138

Do you respond to comments?

Yes, usually!

What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

Probably "Do Not Cry For Me" (Sailor Moon)?

What’s the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

Gah, that's a tough one when you've written over two hundred fics. Um… Maybe "To Be By Your Side" since the rest of the fic is so angsty, the ending is especially happy?

Do you get hate on fics?

Occasionally. The most memorable was years ago when someone wrote literal PAGES of unhinged reviews on FF.net because I dared to write a Setsuna/Mamoru fic. I didn't even read them all because it was just…wow. (Apparently, the person behind it was an ex-friend of someone who had contacted me about the fic in the past? Like, they had hacked into their account and harassed the authors the person had sent private messages to for some reason? It was a weird situation. I've since deleted the reviews, of course.)

Do you write smut? If so, what kind?

Yes, I do, on occasion. I've written all kinds, mostly het, but some m/m and f/f, and even a couple of threesomes (f/f/m and m/m/f).

Do you write crossovers?

Once. I wrote a Sailor Moon/Super GALS fic. (I did have some ideas for others, most notably a Sailor Moon/Witch Hunter Robin fic and a Sailor Moon/Kaleido Star story, but I never got around to doing much with those ideas.)

Have you ever had a fic stolen?

Twice that I'm aware of. The first was in the days of A Sailor Moon Romance. I don't even remember which story it was (I'm thinking "Sweet Dreams"), but what was weird was that the summary they used had absolutely nothing to do with my fic, with a completely different pairing. I may have never even noticed they had stolen my story if not for the fact that they claimed it was a Minako/Yaten fic, and I happen to be a M/Y fan. In hindsight, I wonder if they actually did write a story fitting the summary and just uploaded my fic by mistake? That's the only explanation that makes sense. The other one is probably still up, since FF.net no longer moderates their site. They took my fic "Daddy's Little Girl" and just switched the names and descriptions to make it a Gundam Wing fic.

Have you ever had a fic translated?

Yes, a ficlet into Russian.

Have you ever co-written a fic before?

Not technically, but back in the day, SuperKateB did give me co-writing credits on her story "Love Chain", since it was based on my original idea and I helped her with some of the plot points. I didn't do any actual writing, though, just editing.

What is your all-time favorite ship?

Chibi-Usa/Helios from Sailor Moon will always be my number one, but Otayuri (Otabek/Yuri) from Yuri!!! on ice is a very, very close second!

What’s a WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will?

"Metamorphosis", my fic exploring how Helios originally became priest of Elysion. I've been stuck on it for years and years, so I doubt it'll ever be finished.

What are your writing strengths?

Oh, I don't know…

What are your writing weaknesses?

Description, without a doubt. Oh, and writing kisses. I HATE, HATE, HATE writing kisses!!!!!!

Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language in fic?

I'm fine with it, as long as it's somehow made clear what the translation is, whether it's by context clues, an author's note, or whatever. I've done it many times myself.

First fandom you wrote for?

Sailor Moon

Favorite fic you’ve written?

I'd say it's a three-way tie between "To Be By Your Side" (Sailor Moon), "The Bonds We Choose" (Yuri!!! on Ice), and "Blood On His Hands" (Kaleido Star).

[onedreamaday]

Once again, this is all @im-pure's fault, based on this post. They enable my angsty side so much.

They are the worst enabler /jk

I had this song on repeat while writing.

Can be seen as a follow-up to this, which takes place a few months later.

This was supposed to be an introspective kind of fic, but Liz sorta bullied her way into being here. Then it turned into Bax and Liz being catty in-laws. (but not really, they just mostly snark at each other- it's out of love)

TW 's apply here: character death and mentions of depression/depressive episodes. Remarks of implied alcoholism (Liz accuses, Baxter denies, but nothing is confirmed.)

Sidenote: Liiy didn't bother changing her last name when she and Bax married. One, she kinda doesn't see the point in changing her last name. Two, she found out how much of a hassle it was to do if she did change it and wanted nothing to do with that paperwork.

Elizabeth Last, Baxter is starting to truly realize, is an unstoppable force of nature when she wants to be. Case in point, she has apparently made it her life's mission to show up unannounced whenever she's in town.

Since she doing some type of job near Prima Vista, that means he's been seeing her a distressing amount.

Liz does, at least, knock first before she opens the door, using a key Lily gave her years ago. The light spills into the room and it's do bright, Baxter involuntarily lets out a curse. It's way too early for her presence. He checks the time on his phone, which reads 10:54 am.

There's the smell of food and even better, coffee. A peace offering, then. He'll take it. And mentally prepares of whatever uncomfortable topic she feels she needs to talk to him about.

He groans inwardly. Lily, he imagines, would find all of his hilarious. She was always far more patient with her sister's antics than he could ever be.

“Really? All you've been doing is drinking?”

Ah, an old topic it is then.

Baxter rubs eyes and sighs. “I didn't drink that much,” he says.

Liz hums. “That bottle of whiskey is suspiciously empty.” The tone is light, but the accusation heavy. It sets Baxter on edge.

“It was over the course of a few days,” he replies bitingly. “After work, and never excessively.”

“Oh great, you're back working. I was worried you'd be living on the couch, growing mold.” Liz places the food on the table. A veggie omelet with toast. Simple but decent.

“Unfortunately, my rent and bills don't care if my wife is gone and my depression refuses to go away.” He surprises himself with how flippant he can say that, and going by the look on his sister-in-law's face, perhaps she has the same thought.

There’s silence as he eats, and he notices Liz's eyes keep drifting to a stack of papers.

Or rather, the letters he's written to Lily since her passing. They help, sometimes. On the days where the grief is all-encompassing. Where he watches old videos on her phone just to hear her voice. There’s a voicemail on his phone from her on his phone he refuses to delete.

“You can read them,” He tells her. “It's not as if there anything particularly embarrassing written there.”

He flashes a grin; it feels weak on his face. “There's nothing to blackmail me with, I'm afraid.”

Liz hands lingers, as if she's unsure before she takes the topmost letter. “Other than that monstrosity dyed hair you had when you first moved to Sunset Bird.”

“Lily found it charming.”

“She had terrible taste. How she liked it, I'll never know.”

“I might add, she wished I never stopped dyeing it that way.” He finishes eating and takes the plate to the sink. There’s not much to wash, but Baxter cleans the dishes anymore, moreso to give him something to do.

There’s silence between them, but it’s not tense or heavy, despite their banter earlier. Eventually: “You have the most flowery writing I’ve ever read.” Liz pauses, her eyes softens as she reads. “She fell in love with such a dork.” She returns the letter back to the stack, but doesn’t reach for another. “She would talk about you a lot, after that summer.”

That surprises Baxter; the way she acted after they met in the restaurant three years ago, he suspected she wanted nothing to do with him. “I honestly thought she hated me for a while there.”

Liz smiles. “Lillian Last actually hate anyone? I highly doubt that. If she was willing to give Shiloh and that Jeremy guy a second chance, she definitely was gonna give you one. She was just being dramatic. She’s good at that.” A pause. “Was good at that. Sorry.”

Baxter nods his head. He understands completely. There are days when he thinks of Lily in the present tense; sometimes he expects her to come walking through the door, talking excitedly about her job. He misses those moments when they cooked together (or attempted to, in Lily’s case. She was a bit of a disaster in the kitchen.)

He misses the floral perfume she would wear, the way she would laugh when he swept her up into an unprompted dance, her snuggling up next to him even if it was absolutely sweltering from the summer night.

Liz leaves with a well-meaning snark, telling him she will beat his door down if anyone hasn't heard from him in a few days. Entirely unnecessary, but he understands all the same, and it's well deserved. His attempt to go no contact had everyone thinking the worst and the last thing he wants to do is put his friends and family through all the stress again.

Baxter looks at his stack of letters; his fingers itching to write another is too hard to ignore.

Giving into temptation, he sits and writes, pouring out feelings he can't get himself to say out loud. He finishes it with

"In the afterlife, or wherever you are, do you miss me as much as I miss you?'

[mqfx]

so a passing thought about post-canon sangcheng occurred to me & i would like to receive any wise counsel you'd like to give on my thought processes... 🙇‍♂️ they're a little disjointed. disclaimer that i havent read the novel in a while!

im not super convinced by the idea that nhs was able to control eeeeverything that occurred in his Great Revenge--i imagine a lot of it was incidental and opportunistic.

im not clear on whether jiang cheng would figure out that there was a masterminding aspect to the grand finale at the temple at all, bc while i think he's smart! he's also, like, so uninclined to overanalyse things that might uncover something painful for him (see: wwx's behavior post golden core transfer--unless you have to adjust for shixiong admiration/how jc places wwx on a competence pedestal? if wwx says he can handle it he can handle it, until he doesnt handle it so hard he dies. i guess.)

ANYWAY. i dont think jc would be friendly, or maybe he wouldnt like that he Was friendly with nhs if he thought nhs intentionally put jin ling in danger. im not sure if nhs DID! but im thinking in circles about whether jc would think that would have been the case. in my mind he is both endlessly capable of knee-jerk trust recindication (is that a word.) AND trust extended way past reasonable limits. but do you think that would be discussed (with jiang cheng loudly in tears about it in front of many rubbernecking witnesses, mdzs style?) at all? the most i can imagine is jiang cheng yelling obscurely around whether he can trust nie huaisang! clarifying details & inside voices are for the next generation.

i feel like there something to be said about how he trusts wwx with jin ling's safety, too...

this kind of doesn't have a conclusion im just interested in what you think of post canon sangcheng en generale-- it feels like a very different relationship from anything i can imagine in like... cloud recesses era. they're both miserable i think 😀 but actually post canon jiang cheng is doing better than usual than he has been for a long time, in a sense, and nie huaisang is probably thinking he should be doing better.

sorry this is so long!

ok firstable i must address "rescindification" bc it compelled me and apparently the noun form of "rescind" would be "recision" or "rescindment". heeheehee

now my thoughts on the matter:

2019 me wouldn't have agreed with this but remember 4-5 years ago i was only a college sophomore and was less capable of independent thought. since i was more caught up in fandom back then i generally went along with the headcanon that NHS Planned Everything, especially since it gave him more BAMF-ness(??) to, i guess, make up for the fact that he's not a "strong" cultivator. i would Like to delete the fic i wrote about it then but people like it a lot and i'd feel bad just taking it down. it's kinda like my sorrows of young werther (in that goethe regretted his first published work. not that im like goethe ew)

2023 me obviously thinks that's kinda eeehhh and i agree with you more now bc (flips through my memory of Hot Strategist Tips) no plan survives contact with the enemy. nhs wouldn't have been as effective if he had clear strict play-by-plays from the get-go. i think overplanning is what got jgy, because he kept stacking plots to cover his tracks but nothing makes a crime obvious quite like a cover-up

(unrelated question: if you're stark naked in the street, do you cover your ass or your balls? the correct answer is, you cover your face.)

as jgy's narrative foil and winner of that year's political oscars, nhs wouldn't make those exact same mistakes. not to mention, his strength (i think) is in recognizing patterns and doing the least amount of work for maximum effect--the hallmarks of the "lazy" (efficient) genius. plus it's not like he was starved for opportunity (again, bc jgy really was doing too much..... he really could've not gotten caught if he would just focus on the damn infrastructure)

also re:jc yes you're right my man's the king of repression and sublimation lol the whole "who is the REAL mastermind" would be the LEAST of his problems right nyeow!!! he has to help his nephew secure the succession and keep those scheming little rats of jinlintai away from jl, THEN he has to reckon with the fact that his brother is back, which comes with 15+ year old unopened baggage. wouldn't it be funny if he's like, an old retiree before nhs even tells him "yeah it was me lol" and that's finally the thing that kills him LOL sorry

ok that aside let's imagine a scenario where jc gets a whiff of an inkling of an idea that NHS Risked JL's Life (whether he did or not is irrelevant in this case). i'd like to believe that as an older sect leader, like yeah sure emotionally he's stunted like evel kneivel* but at the very least he should have the presence of mind not to scream at a fellow sect leader in the streets about Serious Accusations. (he is not as logical about wwx in canon because that's his big brother and no younger brother is ever logical about his big brother. also he knows wwx well enough that he can trust wwx Wouldn't Endanger Kids)

*get it. bc evel kneivel was a stuntman

imo jc would go in circles thinking "but no..... nhs wouldn't do that" then "but that's what i thought about jgy too......." and then working himself up to a froth. this will probably result in the most intense assessing death glares and some shady little quips in public. coin toss whether jc would decide to confront nhs about it privately. at least for as long as jl hasn't fully settled in on the role yet, i highly doubt jc would let his guard down for anyone, even nhs. maybe wwx

postcanon sangcheng...... keep in mind i have shipper goggles on. but they're not getting married babes im sorry if i'm keeping it realistic they both have Duties to fulfill and they live in a Society where they don't have time to...... governance is not just Paperwork, it's their lived reality and not everyone has the privilege of a living family to hold down the fort while one goes off traveling (@ lwj, but he can do whatever he wants forever). not saying that they'll get married to other people and have babies, mind you. especially in societies based on martial strength i think it would be less important to have an Unbroken Bloodline than it is to pass down sect techniques

at the end of it IF there's a romance then they're living off of stolen time, sneaking around during hunts and conferences. and i highly highly doubt it'll be a soft epilogue my loves they are two jagged broken people who have given up too much and gotten back so little. they are not gonna make each other better, but hey the consolation is that they also can't make each other worse! at least they'll have someone else who somewhat Understands what it's like. "miserable but not alone" is a boon if you've lost everything else that mattered

[adozentothedawn]

17, 18 for the fic writer asks!

Ask Game

17. talk about your writing and editing process

If I'm lucky I get struck by lightining, which is when I can actually get something done. Meaning moments when I have very specific ideas of what the hell I want to write. Most of the time that lightening unfortunately leaves before I'm done and then I have to struggle my way through the rest.

The editing happens either when i am actually done or when I just cannot for the life of me keep going. Sometimes it helps to just read what's already there and try to fix that.

18. if you keep them, share a deleted sentence or paragraph from a published fic

I don't really delete a lot of complete stuff in the first place and what I delete I usually don't keep, but. I do have an entire scene from my Waidwen has friends fic that I still haven't finished that will not be in the completed version once I finally get back to that chapter. I intended to make a fic called something like "Forgotten Sanctum Archives" or something for stuff like this but since I don't have a lot I never got to it.

Do keep in mind that the following bit is largely unedited for style.

Broder stepped into the stables, wearing a simple tunic and pants and a rough cloak, under which his sword was hidden, already suspecting what it was Waidwen wanted to do and dreading it. Not because he thought it would be particularly dangerous, but because he was certain it wouldn’t work as the younger man was imagining. He walked past the stalls, most of them empty as they and their riders were rushing all over the country, delivering messages and orders, and stopped in front of the last one right in the back, which seemed as empty as the rest. Quiet meowing came from the stall and Broder pushed the gate open.

Inside sat Waidwen, covered in kittens. A larger cat that had to be the mother lounged in his lap, as three smaller ones were sprawled all over him, one on his head, one on his shoulders, and another one trying to climb his chest and digging its little claws into the fabric of his shirt. Waidwen himself was petting the larger cat with one hand, while holding up the little adventurer on his chest with the other, all the while wearing the largest grin Broder had ever seen on him. It was adorable.

Broder almost regretted it when Waidwen noticed him and his grin diminished somewhat.

“It’s about time. I’ve been waiting for a while,” he said, carefully plucking off the kitten stuck to his shirt and putting it to the ground, quickly followed by its siblings. The mother cat yawned heartily and jumped off his lap, trotting over to her young.

“I’m sure it was terribly agonizing,” Broder declared with a smile. Waidwen sent him the most deadpan look Broder could imagine and he had to suppress a snort. “Now that I’m here though, why am I here?” He still had the vague hope that he wrong.

“You’re here because I want to go into town, and I promised you I wouldn’t go alone anymore.” With that declaration Waidwen gave each kitten one last scratch and got up from his place in the hay, brushing off the stems stuck his pants and then crossed his arms in anticipation.

Broder sighed. That was what he’d been worried about. At seeing his reaction, the young narrowed his eyes and glared at Broder, posture becoming defensive.

“And what are you sighing for now? I promised not to go alone, so you’re coming with me. That was the deal.” His words were sharper than they’d been since that incident back in Midrun and Broder knew he had to step carefully now. Apparently he’d unintentionally hit a nerve.

“I know, and I’ll keep to it, I promise. If you want to go, we’ll go. I’m just not sure what you’re hoping to accomplish.”

“What I’m hoping to accomplish is to get away from the bootlickers for a day.” Broder was very tempted to sigh again, but bit it back. Once again it showed that Waidwen didn’t realize the full extent of his influence. How good then that Broder had come prepared.

“Alright then,” he agreed and held out the second coat he’d carried over his arm until then. It was just as rough as his own with a bland grey colour, and about as inconspicuous as a coat could be. At least he didn’t have to worry about the rest of Waidwen’s clothes, as the young man had never really gotten out of the habit of wearing his old farmers clothes and had to be forced into anything more formal. The only thing his chamberlain had been able to reasonably accomplish was to keep his clothes clean and whole, instead of having him wear the overly patched clothes of his past.

Waidwen took the cloak, still hesitant and throwing Broder a questioning look, but already calmer than before the assurance.

“If you want any chance to not be overrun by a mob of excited worshippers, I highly recommend putting that on. If anyone recognizes you, there will be a commotion.” Waidwen didn’t seem particularly convinced, but apparently his desire to argue was outweighed by his desire to just get out already, which Broder could hardly blame him for. There was a reason Broder had left home to try his luck as a mercenary instead of staying and working his way up in the military to a commanding position like his parents had wanted him to.

Once Waidwen had pulled on the cloak, Broder had to admit he was impressed. For whatever reason Waidwen seemed to have already mastered the art of hidden hiding. His hood was pulled down just enough to cast a subtle shadow on his face, obscuring his features enough to make it impossible to identify him without blatant staring, while showing his face enough to not make it seem like he was actively hiding.

“Can we go now, or do you need to mother me some more?” Waidwen asked, as dry as one could. Try as he might, Broder couldn’t figure out why someone who was apparently so convinced of his own insignificance to other people would know how to disguise himself so well.

Both because he wanted to make an attempt at pacifying his king’s annoyance and because he just genuinely wanted to, he knelt down petted the mother cat. He wasn’t stupid enough to try and pet the young, he liked his hand unscratched, thank you very much. He had no doubt that Waidwen had spent many hours here before to win the mother’s trust.

When he was done, Broder got up, smiled his broadest smile, and said: “Yes, I’m done now.”

At first Waidwen still looked miffed, his displeasure even visible under the hood, but after a few seconds of glaring and Broder’s unbroken smile he relented, huffed and turned around to leave, urgency quickening his steps.

Not wanting to be left behind, Broder quickly followed, always staying one step behind. He’d promised Waidwen some space, and though he would have to stay around, there was no reason to crowd him. Let him have the peace as long as he could, Broder doubted it would hold for long.

They made their way into the city through the servants’ entrance without any issues. The few servants they passed didn’t so much as glance at them, and the door itself wasn’t locked. Neither was the gate. Broder frowned and reminded himself to tighten security as soon as they were back. A hole like this was just begging to be exploited.

Outside the walls Waidwen stopped again, looking towards the near line of houses. The cloak obscured most of him, only revealing the placement of his shoulders and him as humanoid, and yet Broder could tell even from behind the significant amount of tension that had seemingly evaporated.