#Like idk I just feel like these last few months I've grown and changed and want different and better

[snootchie-bootchies]

Do you ever just...feel like you're elevating from all your friends that you've grown up with?

[cloudsmateria]

leon kennedy x reader / college au

summary: you and your best friend leon had gone off to university, too busy to see each other for the longest time you'd both been away. you eventually find the time to meet up, getting drunk and acting on some building up feelings :3

warnings: start of a smut, alcohol, not proof read idk its kind of a shit ramble that i didn't put much cohesive effort into but it's quite cute so i posted it

anyway, i’ll probably do the smut in p2

words: 2.7k

It had been a month since you last saw Leon. Ever since you started law school, and he got into his cop training program both of your schedules had been stacked, despite you both still living in the same city the 45-minute commute to each other's homes was too much. As your best friend, you both managed to call each other every other night, confiding about whatever stupid experiences you both had in your new lives.

Tonight, you finally were able to agree on him coming to your apartment tonight, as you finally managed to get all work out of the way to have a fully free weekend off. You didn't realise how excited you were for his arrival until he texted you he was at the door. You sprinted through the halls and threw the door open.

"Leon!" You shout, jumping onto him and wrapping your arms around him.

"Y/n." He smiled, hugging you back.

“I haven’t seen you in way too long.” 

“We saw each other on Facetime last night.” You finally pull away with a smile. 

“You won’t even let me have a moment to be sweet.”

“It weirds me out, you're impossible to take seriously.” He rolls his eyes in response as he walks into your apartment, falling onto your couch, you sit next to him, kicking your legs up and leaning your head against his shoulder. “Did you wanna order takeout?”

“I wanted to go out. Haven’t left my apartment to explore the city since I joined the training academy. But we’ll just stay in here for a few minutes, catch me up, then we can go outside and do dumb shit.”

“Catch you up on what?” You laughed. “You’ve been my virtual therapist for the past month. Let’s talk about you. Show me what you learnt in your training or something, entertain me.”

“You’re right, you’ve talked too much, your voice gives me a headache.” You slap his chest and he lets out a light laugh, grabbing your wrists and pulling you over him to lay on his chest. “Get comfortable first, it’s long.”

“Doubt it.”

“You have it easy. This training is just as physically draining as it is mentally.”

“It shows. You’ve grown a lot since I last saw you.” You say, tracing your finger up his arm that has noticeably grown in size, and he’s already been going gym since he was 15.

He laughs. “You must've missed me bad, I’ve never seen you this nice.”

“What’s the training like?”

“I’m at the top of the class right now but the coaches are fucking evil, 4 people have already left.” He rambles on about the jarring people he’s met and the few friends that he’s made until the story is over and he gets up regretfully as he loses the weight of your body on top of him. You go into your room to change as you are still in pyjamas, getting into a skirt with a baggy sweater you wore a little too much.

“Is that my jumper?” Leon asked as you walked out. “Is it? I've had it for ages." He steps closer and snorts when he gets a closer look, flipping the back to see the label.

"You stole this from me last year."

"You mean I borrowed it indefinitely."

"I could arrest you."

"I'd like to see you try your best, trainee. It looks better on me anyway, finders keepers."

"What if I took it back off you?"

"You'd have to catch me first."

"I'm pretty fast."

"Not as fast as me." You grin before pushing him and sprinting out of your apartment, the sound of his footsteps trailing behind you.

"You think you can lose me?!" He taunted.

"I've done it before!" You shout back, running down the stairs of the apartment complex, and out into the streets, almost losing your breath from how much you were laughing. Suddenly, he sped up to an ungodly speed, picking you up when he caught up and throwing you over his shoulder. "Oh my god! What do they feed you in training?!" You yell, slapping his back.

"Mostly protein." He says, sarcastically.

"Are you gonna put me down or carry me around the city like a caveman?"

"I’ll drop you."

"Don't even joke about that." He laughs.

"Fine, fine, I won't." He puts you down and you both start walking around the city, looking for a corner store to get into.

"Let’s get wasted." You say, pointing to a small corner store.

"You’re so irresponsible." He said, going into the store and coming back out with soda and a bottle of vodka, he popped it open instantly when he came out, taking in a mouthful without wincing, passing it over to you straight after as you both walked down the street.

"I found this nice spot, it's 5 minutes from here."

"You didn't tell me about this when we were on Facetime."

"I was hoping to show you in person, I haven't told anyone else about it." You say, taking a mouthful of the burning liquid, coughing slightly, and passing it back over.

"Well, lead the way."

After a few minutes, you were standing on the roof of an abandoned, bordered car park with a pretty view of the river that ran through the city. You already had a wooden bench up there that you took as someone left it on the side of the road.

"How did you find this?" Leon asks.

"I just went on a walk one day and saw the entrance was bordered up and decided to explore, no-one ever comes up here." You said, leaning against the rails. "How much have we drank?"

"About a quarter of the bottle. Do you want more?" He asked.

"Yeah." He passes it over to you. "Do you remember the time we broke into that abandoned hospital near our high school?"

"And you freaked out when you thought that fake skeleton was real.."

"You're never gonna let that go are you?"

"We had to climb out of the window and I had to catch you before you fell to your death. Of course, I'm not going to let it go, you owe me."

"What do you want then? A drink?”

"I can pay for my own drinks and I just paid for yours." He said signalling to the bottle in your hand.

"You get to continue to enjoy my lovely company, that's all I owe you."

"Good enough." He sighed, taking a swig. The both of you sit around, both of you talking each other's ears off until he makes a suggestion.

"We should play a game."

"What's the game?"

"Truth or dare."

"Yes! I don't remember the last time we played this. Truth."

"Any crushes yet?"

"Honestly, not really. There are some cute guys in my uni but I'm just too busy with work. Truth or Dare."

"Dare."

"I dare you to finish the bottle."

"No problem." He said, finishing the bottle, and dropping it on the ground. You laughed at him, knowing he's going to be out of his mind later.

“You’ve been going to too many parties.” You say, watching in astonishment. “This is definitely some pretence for a future alcohol problem.”

“You’re gonna be the reason for my future alcoholism.”

“To be fair you are the type to become an alcoholic over a girl.”

“You’re that girl. You’re the most annoying thing in my life and I can’t get rid of you.” 

You hit his arm.

“You hit me too. Can’t get worse.” You roll your eyes with a smile.

“Seriously, you got anything going on with any girls?” You ask, feeling a bit of tension rise. He gives you a knowing grin. “Because I love gossip, don’t get any ideas.”

“Yeah, her name is Sienna. Funny girl, might ask her out soon.” You nod, questionably annoyed. “I’m joking. God. You look like you’ve seen a ghost, got something you wanna tell me?”

“The alcohol is just hitting.” You say. “Don’t get so full of yourself. You know I wouldn’t get with you if you were the last man on earth.”

“Yeah, right.” He smiles amusedly, a plan in mind. “Truth or dare, y/n?”

"Dare."

"Kiss me." Your heart stops.

"I'm not kissing you."

"You have to."

“Do I?”

“Never took you for a girl who’d pussy out on a dare.”

You sigh.

"You have some sick satisfaction out of tormenting me." You say, standing up and straddling his thighs. Fuck. You can feel the thick muscles of his shoulders as you rest your hands upon them. 

"You have no idea." You stare at him with a small frown.

"You're so lucky I'm drunk." You lean in slowly, feeling his fingers trace over your skin, sending goosebumps all over your body. You're just a few centimetres away from his lips, your lips parting, your heart thumping, his gaze dropping down to your lips. Suddenly, you hear him quietly laugh as you start to close your eyes.

"I'm not actually going to kiss you." He says.

"What?"

"You don't have to kiss me, it was a joke."

"Oh god." You sigh, faceplanting into his shoulder.

"You're so cute." He snorts, wrapping his arms around your waist.

"I think you’re the one who’s gonna make me an alcoholic." You mumble. 

“Come on, let’s go back to your apartment before you jump off the railings.” He says, letting you get off.

"You're evil." You say once you get to the ground.

"And you're so gullible. How is someone supposed to not take advantage of that?"

"Now you’re showing your true colours, you’re going to regret saying that." You say as menacing as you can, before tripping up from how tipsy you were, just for him to grab the back of your sweater to keep you upright.

"Keep threatening me, I love it."

“Freaky bastard.”

“You have no idea.” He says, grabbing your hand to speed you up for you to trip again, he laughs as you manage to catch yourself. “Do you need me to carry you?”

“No thanks.”

“Too bad because I want to get back in a timely manner.” He says, wrapping his arm around the back of your knees and carrying you off. You weren’t going to complain. 

“Are you not drunk?”

“I’m drunk. I just have more spatial awareness than you.” He carries you the quick 5 minutes to your house. Managing to walk all the way up the stairs with you still in his arms, his stamina was kind of hot, or maybe those were just drunk thoughts. 

He sets you down on your couch, getting you both a glass of water to put on your side table. 

"I didn’t say this but I took some judo classes." You say, just letting whatever dumb shit stumble out your mouth as you take a sip from the glass.

"Did you now?" He says sarcastically.

"We should spar."

"You never fail to surprise me with your stupid ideas." He says while watching you get up. "Are you that confident?"

"You're scared, that's why you're trying to chicken out." He pushes himself up off the couch.

“You’re going to hurt yourself.” He says, watching you hype yourself up, jumping up and down.

“Come on, let’s go.”

“Come at me then.” He said, fully intending to go easy on you. You quickly try to tackle him onto the floor, wrapping your leg around him to drop him, and to his shock he falls onto his back, leaving him groaning and rubbing his back. “I didn’t think you were being serious.”

“Fuck yeah! Told you you’d regret it!” You shout, jumping up, he grabs your leg and pulls it down making you fall over him, rolling over so that you were pinned down by your wrists.

“How cute, Leon.” You smile, tucking feet underneath him onto his chest and launching off you and getting up. You usually weren’t this successful given you’d only gone to 2 classes, the drunkenness definitely provided you some much-needed confidence. He laughs breathlessly from the rollercoaster you just put him through, resting on his wrists for a second before standing up with you. 

“You wanted me to show you what I learnt in training right?” He says, as you rub your hands together mischievously. You run toward him, him holding both of your hands when you try to push him, pushing against each other as he swipes both your feet from under you and pins you to the floor, his shins pressing on your thighs to make sure you don’t pull the same trick again. Both of you are still breathing heavily from the high of the last round. 

 "You should give up now." He whispers, lacing his fingers in between your own.

"You should know better." You whisper back, smiling. His eyes drop down to your lips, his head fogged as the alcohol in his system starts to kick in more.

"What if I don't?" He leans in, brushing his lips over yours, your stomach fluttering, you were so glad you were drunk. You never would've come up with this idea if you were sober.

"What are you doing, Leon?" 

"Beating you up.”

"You're drunk."

"So are you." He replies, connecting your lips. The kiss is slow and soft. Not how you expected a drunk make-out to be. His lips part and your tongue meet his, the both of you letting out quiet sounds as the kiss gets more heated, his body weight shifting down. His arms wrap around your waist, under your jumper as he stands up with your legs wrapped around him. "We shouldn't be making out on the living room floor." He says and presses his lips against yours again. You were already a little light-headed from the alcohol, his lips trailing down your jawline, your neck, the soft breaths of his breath against your skin, it was almost dizzying. His foot pushes your bedroom door open and he places you down on the bed his lips still all over and his fingers lifting the jumper over your head. He trails his fingers over the waistband of your skirt.

"How much did you miss me?" He breathes against your lips.

"More than anything."

"How much did you miss me, Leon?"

“I was going insane." He whispers, his fingers slipping into your underwear, sliding them off and throwing them across the room. He sits up, taking his shirt off.

"Now that's just the alcohol talking."

"It's not, the time away made me realise something I should've ages ago." He said, leaning back over and kissing you. His hand trailed back down under your skirt, a finger gliding over your slit, a soft moan coming from his lips.

[polyamorousmood]

Imma just vent a bit if you dont mind but also hearing your thoughts would be nice. So basically, theres this couple that i met a few months ago, and to put it bluntly, im very into them. I've only really been starting to get closer to them in the last few weeks and have been hanging out with them a lot lately. I have lots in common with them and I think they are both very attractive and I would like to date them.

But I dont know if they would be open to polyam. They have been together for a very long time, like theyve practically grown up together and they are very close. The last thing i would want to do in intrude on that or try to get between them or anything like that. So ive been thinking that I won't say anything about my feelings. I wouldn't want it to ruin a friendship I just started with them. If they ever approach me about, ofc i know what I'll say. But I think the smartest thing would be to enjoy the friendship i have with them and only change our relationship to a romantic one if they are the ones who ask me.

but mann is it rough out here lmao

I gotta break your heart here a little bit, sorry 💔knowing nothing else about them, they aren't likely to want to do a poly thing. Its just facts that its a pretty rare set-up. Maybe certain things about them make you think they're more likely than most. But even if we say people with X characteristic are several times more likely to be poly/open to poly, the odds still aren't in your favor. Which um. Been there, fucking sucks to be there. Hope I never go back, please do not bring me any souvenirs. 🔮(<pretend this is a snowglobe)

Having said that. Perspective like that is pretty much always going to be an outsider's perspective. While you're in it, things look pretty good. They both like you! They're both so cool, they could be poly! And if they are, isn't being their 🦄unicorn, like, every poly couple's dream? You would be doing them a favor! And anyway, isn't it at least worth a shot with how much you like them? I get it. So assuming that's where you're at, how do make moves without professing your undying love (risky! could ruin everything!!)

In my opinion? First step is talking about your own polyamorous tendencies and seeing if they're cool with it. How you do this is going to depend on how your personality and how you normally interact with these people. Maybe you can complain about the dating scene and how what you really want is poly, but that's hard to find. Maybe you talk about previous poly relationships. Maybe you formally Come Out™️. Whatever you feel is appropriate, idk your life.

If you've already done this recently, and they were polite but nothing more than polite: the dream is probably dead.

If you've done this recently, and they acted any level of uncomfortable: the dream is definitively dead.

If you did this recently and they acted excited or interested: start flirting for real immediately.

If you did this but its been awhile: bring it up again, start some plausibly deniable flirting, and/or drop hints that you'd like to date a couple and watch reactions closely.

Good luck out there🍀, and let us know if anything actually comes of it! I really wish you the best

[runningfrom2am]

on the one screen in my town; three

summary:

mason’s life with drew was absolutely perfect, she was happier than ever; until everything came crashing down all at once.

tags/warnings:

drew starkey x fem!popstar!oc, drug and alcohol use, death, grief, these tags are not exhaustive, idk i'll add to this as it goes on.

wc: 2.9k

series masterlist

masterlists

The extremely private funeral was only a few weeks later, and Mason was hardly herself anymore. Anyone who knew her could see she was just a shell of herself, hardly there, even when she spoke.

They managed to get a large, private estate in Washington, near her mothers home town, where Mason had grown up. This was perfect for the service, considering it was remote and by exclusive invite only. The last thing anybody wanted was photos or people showing up to ask questions. The media knows almost nothing at this point, just that something has changed and all of Mason's projects have been postponed. Spare, so far, her and Drew's wedding, which was scheduled to take place in two months and thirteen days.

Mason had been counting them down with a childish excitement, but now, as she stands over her mothers coffin, alone, she's dreading it. How can it go on when her mom won't be there to celebrate with them? She can't even imagine it.

"Mason.." She looks up quickly, turning to see Drew as he walks up to her. "It's gonna rain, we've got to head out." He says, wrapping an arm around her and kissing the side of her head.

Everyone else has left, including Este and her family, including Drew's parents, who were kind enough to make the trip from North Carolina, and including her father; and after waiting in the car for her for forty-five minutes, Drew decided enough was enough. He agreed to give her the time alone, of course he did, he wouldn't dream of saying no; but at this point it's not benefitting her anymore. Or him, to sit in the car and watch from a distance as she shakes and stares into space. It's hard to watch.

"Five more minutes?" Mason requests, not having the heart to look up at him.

"Of course." Drew nods, rubbing her shoulder gently. "I'm gonna stay, though."

She nods, leaning her head on his shoulder, lip quivering as she looks down at the coffin, yet to be buried. It's empty, she knows that, but that doesn't make it any easier for her to walk away.

"Jeez, Mace.." Drew sighs softly. He's never figured out what to say, he had hoped it would come to him eventually, but the only thing he's realized is that there is no right answer. Nothing can bring Catherine back, there is not a thing in the world he could do to make her feel better, and he feels so hopeless. "I miss her." He settles on, wanting her to at least know he kind of understands.

"I don't understand... I don't understand why." Mason chokes out, shaking her head and turning to bury her face in his chest, hugging onto him like her life depended on it. It was a car accident, of all things. Wrong place, wrong time. Why did it have to be her?

Drew just shakes his head. "I don't know. She's not gone, though, hey?" He makes sure she's listening, kissing her head again. "She's gonna haunt us like crazy, she could never leave you." He laughs slightly, trying to make her smile.

It works only a little bit, making Mason laugh slightly through her tears. "True. She's gonna be throwing eggs at me if I forget to eat breakfast." She adds, nodding slightly.

"I don't doubt it for a minute." Drew smiles, craning his neck to try and get a look at her smile. He's missed it, she hasn't smiled in weeks. They haven't really talked about any of this yet, but Drew knows he has to wait until she is ready. She's getting there, he can tell. "Can I take you home? I've got to get you fed before Cath uses her ghost powers to try and make you spaghetti or something."

"No." Mason shakes her head. "I hope she does."

"Okay, well, you can explain your late dinner to her so she doesn't come after me." He chuckles, giving her a gentle squeeze.

Three Years Ago

"Mason! I saw on Twitter that you went on a date this week. Twitter! How dare you not call me first!" Catherine says, excitement clear in her tone as soon as her daughter picks up the phone.

"Hi mom." Mason rolls her eyes playfully, dropping her hand to put it on speaker so Este can hear as well.

"Hi Ellen!" Este says, instantly putting her phone down to join the conversation. When they first met, Este had mistakenly remembered Catherine's name as being 'Ellen', and it was just too funny for the three of them to ever let go.

"You can't distract me! Tell me what's going on." Her mom says, making Mason blush and Este grabs the phone from her.

"Oh my god, Ellen, he's a dreamboat! Okay, so, his name is Drew, they met at that premiere I brought her to. That Netflix show I'm working on, Outer Banks? He's in the show. He plays Rafe."

"Oh yes, right. Okay." Catherine laughs, urging her on as Mason buries her face in her hands, shaking her head with embarrassment. "I haven't seen it yet Este but you know it's on my list."

"Yeah, of course! Anyway, you should have seen them, he was like all over her! I'm pretty sure he pretended to 'accidentally' bump into her so they could talk. It was so cute." Este gushes. "Hold on! There's pictures, I'll send them to you."

She grabs her phone again to find the pictures as Catherine fires questions at them. "What did he say? What's he like? Where did you go? Tell me everything I can't wait another minute!"

"Okay, mom, slow down." Mason intervenes. "It was just one date, it's not like he proposed or something."

"Well sorry for being excited! I didn't know that was a crime." She replies with a sassy tone.

"It's not. I just, I don't know. I don't know if I'm ready for another relationship, so I don't know if I'll see him again."

"Oh, shut up." Este says, rolling her eyes at her friend. "He's amazing. Seriously, he looks at you like you're the only girl in the world. Don't push him away because you're scared. Brady was a jerk, Drew's not like that."

"Okay but how do you know?"

"Uh, I don't know, maybe because I've worked with him for two years now?"

"No, you haven't, you've worked with Madelyn and Madison for two years. He was just occasionally around."

"Exactly, if there was any red flags about him they would have told me. I know all the tea, trust." Este insists, scrolling away on her phone looking for all the pictures of Drew and Mason from the premiere. "For example, okay, Rudy and Elaine? They're like, totally on the outs. They don't even know it yet but the rest of us can all tell. She's not great to him. Also I knew about Chase and Madelyn's break up before he did, okay? You always trust the makeup artist! I know everything, but with Drew? There's never been anything. No drama, no one has had a bad thing to say about him ever. Also, Ellen, I just sent the pictures to you."

"See! Honey, just give him a chance." Catherine agrees and Mason sighs. "Oh! Oh gosh, these are so precious! He's very handsome, Mason."

"Ugh, mom!" Mason groans, throwing her head back against the couch cushions.

"I'm not giving you a choice. You need to keep seeing him, it'll be good for you. Just one more date if he asks, then you can do whatever you want. Just give him a shot." She says seriously, pleading with her daughter at this point to at least try.

"I'm glad you say that because he did already ask!" Este tells her. "Mason just hasn't called him back yet."

"Of course he did! You're amazing! You're beautiful, you're so kind, I can't imagine that he wouldn't want to spend more time with you, Honey."

Mason sighs, cheeks totally red and she nods. "Okay, fine, mom. You've convinced me. I'll call him back."

Six Months Later

Drew's bouncing his knee rapidly as Mason drives them down the quiet block, on their way to her parents home in a small town in Washington. "Nervous?" She asks him with a giggle, looking over as he stares out the window.

"No, what makes you say that?" Drew replies, quickly ceasing the movements of his leg.

"Just a hunch." Mason shrugs. "But if you were nervous, I'd say 'Don't worry, they'll adore you'." She assures him, turning onto her block.

"This is it!" She smiles, and he tenses up as she slows down, pretending to pull over.

"Shit, okay, I'm scared." He admits, making her laugh.

"I'm kidding. That wasn't even the house." Mason giggles, pulling out onto the road again.

"Screw you." Drew laughs, shaking his head. "That's not funny, by the way."

"Okay, okay. Sorry. This actually is it though." She says, taking a right turn into the driveway.

"Oh god." Drew groans, leaning his head back and closing his eyes, taking a deep breath. He doesn't even know why he's so nervous, he just wants to make a good impression, but Mason has told him time and time again that they already have a good impression of him based on everything she's told them.

"Watch this. We have about five... four... three..." As Mason counts down, unbuckling her seatbelt and watching the front door of the small ranch home, which suddenly flies open and her mom comes running out, straight up to the car. "Yep, told you." She grins over at Drew, opening her door and stepping out.

"Mason! Oh, I missed you so much!" Catherine smiles, pulling her into a tight hug and kissing her cheek.

"I missed you too..." She smiles, hugging her back and looking over to her dad who is standing against the door frame with a smile on his face. He gives her a quick wave which she returns behind her moms back, before her mom is letting her go.

"Oh, you're Drew! Hi, dear! It's so good to finally meet you!" She's quickly at his side of the car, giving him a hug as well. Him and Mason share a look over her head, and Mason gives him two thumbs up as he chuckles awkwardly and hugs her mom back.

"It's nice to meet you, Catherine." He agrees as she lets him go.

"Oh please, call me Cath. Or Mom. Whichever suits you more." She waves him off, smiling up at him. "Geez, Este wasn't kidding, you are more handsome in person. And tall. My goodness."

"Oh my god, mom!" Mason laughs, blushing furiously as her dad makes his way down the stairs.

"What? I just want him to be comfortable!" Catherine defends, patting Drew on the arm and walking around to the back of the car.

"And you think saying that will help?" Mason giggles, quickly walking up to her dad and hugging him as well.

"Well, I don't know I'm just being nice." Catherine insists, opening the trunk to get their suitcases out.

"I've got it! We're good." Drew insists, cheeks still flushed as he joins her, grabbing them out for her.

"I should probably help him, hey?" Miles whispered to his daughter with a smile and she nods as he nudges her shoulder.

"Yes please, dad." She whispers back, laughing quietly as he walks away, and Mason returns to the car to grab her purse out.

"Here, let me help." Miles says, grabbing his daughters pink suitcase off the ground. "Mason doesn't travel light, hey?"

"No she does not." Drew chuckles, shaking his head.

"Something wrong with that?" Her dad asks, serious now as he raises an eyebrow at Drew.

"Oh- no! Definitely not, sir. Gotta be prepared, you know?" Drew says, the blood draining from his face as he tries to salvage the situation.

"Dad!" Mason scolds him, and he instantly breaks character, laughing at the boys response.

"I'm kidding, don't worry." He laughs, patting his shoulder. "I'm Miles, by the way."

Drew laughs awkwardly, clearly getting minor whiplash from the situation. "Nice to meet you, I'm Drew." He says, repeatedly glancing up at his girlfriend.

"Let's get everything inside before it rains, yeah? We don't have all that beautiful sunny weather that you guys are used to in North Carolina and LA." Catherine says, taking a bag from Drew before he can protest and making her way back inside.

By the time everyone else makes it inside, Catherine is already on facetime with Este, who's back in LA. Mason doesn't know who was more likely to call each other out of the two of them. "Gosh, honey, you were right about him he is lovely!" Catherine says, turning as she hears the door shut. "Oh, here they are! Want to say hi?"

"You know I do!" Este grins, still laughing about how quickly Catherine called her to talk about Drew once they arrived. "Hey guys! How was the flight?" She asks as Catherine passes the phone off to Mason.

"It was good. Not too long." Drew shrugs.

"Yeah. I miss you, though." Mason adds, pouting at her friend.

"Well why didn't she come?" Her mom cuts in before Este can reply.

"Work, unfortunately." She sighs dramatically. "But I'm free next week, if you'll still want some more company."

"Yes, of course! Come up here any time, honey."

"You heard her." Mason agrees, smiling at her friend.

"Alright I'll see you on Tuesday, then." Este giggles.

Mason passes the phone back to her mom as she says she's looking forward to it, grabbing her backpack to bring to her room.

"I guess I should give you the tour." Mason says to her boyfriend, pausing and looking around the open living room and kitchen space. "Alright that's about it. My room is down here, same with the bathroom, and my parents room." She says, making Drew laugh as she heads toward the small hallway, Drew following close after.

"It's such a cute house." He muses, looking around at the array of artwork on the walls.

"You can say it's small, Babes. It's fine." She giggles quietly as they step into her room, throwing her stuff on her bed under the window.

"No, I meant like, the decor and stuff. It's very cute." Drew insists, smiling at her and then looking around her room, which clearly hasn't been changed since she moved out a few years ago, to live with Este in LA.

"Oh, well, my mom will love the review so please tell her." Mason smiles, sitting down on her bed and laying back dramatically.

"I don't know what I expected your room to look like, but it was almost exactly like this." He chuckles, standing in the door frame and taking note of all the posters on the walls, mainly Taylor Swift, One Direction, some of her favourites. "Have you met any of them yet?"

"I met Taylor once." Mason says, sitting back up and smiling at her big 'Lover' poster. "She was really sweet, she said she wants to do a song together sometime, maybe grab lunch. I have her number. I feel like she just pitied me, though."

"No way, she knows talent when she sees it. Clearly." Drew smiles, pacing into the room and sitting next to her.

"Leave the door open!" Miles calls after them from the living room.

"Dad!" Mason huffs as her cheeks turn red and she stands up, walking to the door and looking down the hall at him. "I'm not sixteen anymore, I'll shut the door if I want!" She laughs, then pretending to dramatically slam it before she stops it and closes it gently.

"Who'd you bring in here when you were sixteen?" Drew laughs quietly, cheeks turning slightly red as well.

"Guess." Mason laughs, sighing and rolling her eyes as she joined him on the bed again.

"I've got a pretty good idea." Drew admits, looking around again and this time noticing all the music awards on one wall next to the closet, smiling a little to himself. "Brady still lives here, doesn't he?"

"Yep. Him and his new 'girlfriend'." Mason says, using a mocking tone to refer to her. "Well, not new anymore I guess. It's been over a year."

"He's an idiot, if she was smart she would have left him by now." Drew chuckles. "I'm lucky he's so stupid, honestly."

"Me too. I wouldn't have found out otherwise." Mason chuckles. "God, it's so embarrassing." She groans and covers her face with her hands. Drew laughs a little with her, reaching out and running his fingers through her hair. She shouldn't be embarrassed. It's funny to laugh about a year down the line, but it's hard to think about what she went through- when the world was watching. He wants to make sure she never goes through anything like that ever again.

"Mason! Honey, mind helping me with dinner?" Her mom calls from the living room and she sighs, sitting up.

"Coming!"

taglist:@veescorneroftheworld, @totalswag, @madelynie, @cecesrings, @slut4drudy, @mutual-mendes, @winterrrnight, @sadfury, @h34rtsformilli, @maybankslover, @ffgcfff (lmk if you want to be added!!)

[kyouka-supremacy]

Dazai?

Eheh Dazai

Favorite thing about them: I really like how as a character he was able to deeply touch so many people!! Seeing so many people finding relief in being able to relate to and emphasize with the character makes me happy.

Least favorite thing about them: I mean, his personality? I don't like how his many flaws are written to be interpreted as strong points / good traits for his character to the point no flaw is actually a flaw, it makes the reading experience very frustrating for me.

Favorite line:

brOTP: Mmmmhh, I don't spend a lot of time thinking about Dazai. Soukoku, probably. The Buraiha trio makes me emotional a little. Souheki, but in a very passive-aggressive, over-competitive, one-sided rivality, can't-stand-each-other way. Dazai and Kyouka. Dazai and Atsushi too I suppose, though I prefer them romantically. I think he makes for a lot of interesting dynamics with virtually all the characters, but none compells me in particular tbh.

OTP: Odazai is plain canon to me, idk what to tell you. I think they make for a beautiful, tragic love story. Get you a man who is willing to change the path of his whole life for another man just like that, nobody does it like them (actually, wait, I can think of another man... ). Although I always distantly liked them, dazatsu has grown on me like, an INSANE amount in the last few months. I'm not sure what happened. I think it was an unfortunate (lol) coincidence of growing a little fonder of Dazai and just wanting to give more space and agenda to Atsushi. Like to me a lot of what dazatsu is really is about giving Atsushi more agency and autonomy and independence and overall just respecting him as a complex, full fleshed out character. I don't see ANY kind of power imbalance in it I keep finding people talk about. Dazai pushes Atsushi to be better every day, and Atsushi does exactly the same for Dazai. Atsushi admires and respects Dazai, and Dazai admires and respects Atsushi equally. I really don't know why the ship isn't more popular and instead just gets discarded most of the time tbh. I feel like everyone should sit down a second and actually give Atsushi the dignity to choose for himself. And fyozai!!! The investment in this ship mostly goes on waves for me but despite that I firmly believe that they really make for an engaging and interesting dynamic to be interpreted romantically. The epitome of “You're both just enabling each other's mental illnesses. You're both perfect for each other. Never change. Just never involve anybody else in what you've got going on.”

nOTP: Nothing comes to my mind.

Random headcanon: Not canon related, but in modern aus I feel like he'd be one to always end up working at ceo roles and he would HATE it. He fires himself and starts working at some cheap frozen yogurt place and one month later he'll find himself as the ceo of the most important oil company of the country AGAIN without him even realizing it / despite his active efforts to avoid that. And he HATES IT. He fires himself again but the loop only repeats forever. He's just that kind of person for whom all doors open automatically.

Unpopular opinion: ............ I could be here forever. I regretfully fail to relate to a lot of characterization / readings of the character I've seen the fandom give him. I really don't want to dwell on this so I'll just mention something mostly unrelated to his characterization: I wholly can't share the take of him being physically built like??? At all??? Which got REALLY popular a few months ago. Dude feels like he never lifted a finger his whole life, I really don't know where the idea comes from???? And I personally don't take his manga visual portrayal as a telling factor for this; pretty much all the characters have the same body type, it's impossible for me to base the buff Dazai assumption on how he's drawn in the manga. Just one thing about his chracter though stop making him matchmaker for ss/kk he really isn't stop don't do it please

Song i associate with them: HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE associating him with my favourite vocaloid song ever but. Meltdown by iroha is a very Dazai song. So many other songs though... Parade of Liars by ryo. Abstract Nonsense by Neru. God-ish by Pinocchio-P. So on and so forth.

Favorite picture of them:

Favourite panel from the manga:

Favourite illustration:

Favourite illustration in the anime art style:

Favourite Mayoi card:

Send me a character?

[vorpalfae]

I noticed you haven't been as active on social media as you were even a few months ago.. is there any reason? I hope ur okay🖤

aw thank you for checking up on me🥺 honestly i've been struggling on and off with my mental health and trying to find medication that works. i've had it switched a couple times recently and even had a super bad reaction to one that landed me in a mental hospital. (well it was a combination of medication and other stuff.)

i think ive finally found one that works but as most psyche meds do, they've been making me act different. i've grown a bit tired of the kind of content i've been making for a long time now. my interests haven't changed at all. i still have the same interests, i'm just bored of the way i've been presenting them and myself if that makes sense😂

idk if bored is the right word. the "aesthetic"/overall vibe of my social media usually reflects the way i feel. and right now when i log on i see all the things i like but its presented in a way that doesn't feel like myself. its still me but i think in the last couple months i've grown a lot now that i've actually taken steps to learn about my newly diagnosed autism and started getting legitimate help for my bipolar disorder.

what it really comes down to is i just need to organize my brain and my pages on here a lot. i plan on revamping my tumblr and all my other social media to fit how i'm currently feeling. but i just haven't felt like doing it because the smallest tasks like that have reaaally been draining me mentally. it fucking sucks. but its been a lot better since i've had a bit of time to adjust to all the changes i've made for myself.

so i'm thinking i'll probably do a big "update" to all my social media either within the next few days or soonish lol sorry its taken me so long to answer ur anon. like i said, i've been mentally exhausted for a long time now and i just didnt know what the problem was until i was able to start thinking more clearly. having bipolar disorder is so difficult. because its both mania and depression. and it makes it extremely difficult to organize my thoughts when i'm struggling. idk if "regular" ppl deal with that but its always been an issue for me.

my content will most likely still be the same. i just might start adding some new stuff here and there and incorporate a lot of the new styles and aesthetics i've been into as of late. and perhaps diversify my content a bit too, because i have a lot of interests and fascinations with many things that i don't even post about online! 🥰

i hope i was able to give u an answer in the least confusing way possible. i'm terrible at explaining things. especially about myself😂 hence why most of the questions i answer always end up being paragraphs 😭

[just-orbiting-you]

maybe I'm out of pocked for saying this or maybe it sounds too harsh since i am ot7 and I do love all of them and no matter what I support the music and think they're all very good people who never cause harm intentionally, but I think these last few years tae has kind of changed as a person

ofc he has every right to become the adult he wants and there's nothing bad with it but I've noticed through his actions that he's grown up to be a little superficial, kind of mindless and that he romanticizes life too much and maybe doesn't think things through, maybe caught up to much with the celebrity lifestyle and privilege

not only with the whole wanting attention always especially during times when other members are in focus or also with the whole MCD drama or posting online endlessly even in this so called the most serious and discreet period of life for them

it feels like he doesn't take things seriously or he's not grounded enough

it looks like he even romanticizes the military where even if he choose one of the most intensive units, i feel like one of the reasons he did so is just because he wanted to try all the cool uniforms of that unit and try to "play the part" like it's some sort of a movie role where we've seen that in comparison with other members, taes unit is the one who's always exposed to the general public and strolling around town because they participate in events that need security/bodyguards. like even in this time he wanted to be in the public eye and been seen and act cool and be photograped

the fact that he always kind of sneakily posted and talked about things with jk which clearly jk doesn't really like that much because he never reciprocates and he has provided context for what tae says 2-3 times because he clearly doesn't want misunderstandings or fueling tkkrs, jk has always been careful about that

idk i hope it doesn't sound to crazy, it's just a bit of uncensored thoughts because his behavior has really put me in a lot of doubts

i have another anon post similar to this and i honestly fully agree. there's a level of grandiose in tae lately that i think leaves him looking less grounded, relatable and (even likable) lately that i don't think was always there. i've been calling him pretty flippant and irresponsible, like lacks a sense of awareness and this goes back to his behavior in boy voyage years ago. i haven't really been compelled by his personality in a while and i think you're right in that fame and attention really did emphasize that bad parts of him.

i feel like one of the reasons he did so is just because he wanted to try all the cool uniforms of that unit and try to "play the part" like it's some sort of a movie role

THIS 100%. who even knows if this is conscious in him, but he got so much attention for even choosing this line of work in the military. when he said "i have a plan for the military" i thought it meant go to special forces so he can bulk up. and that's kind of what happened. but i've seen more tae pictures i think then anyone else (and i try my best to block and disengage with military photos as best as i can). i don't think tae could bear leaving his idol lifestyle behind, seeing as he doesn't stop posting even STILL. and this special forces was the closest thing he could find.

tae and jk's dynamic will continue to be so funny because jungkook doesn't take his bullshit. i see jungkook as someone who really isn't phased by much so it might not get to him personally when tae calls him on short notice to go places or invites him to big events, but those times where he does call him out publicly are hilarious, showing jk's true thoughts on tae.

thanks for your ask!! really enlightening (and as someone who has been yapping to my irl army friend about tae's behavior for months, it's nice to see someone else with a similar sentiment).

[tarobii]

I'm like only a bit sure nobody has sent this to you yet if someone has feel free to ignore this but here you go

1. who's your favorite oc?

2. who was your first oc?

3. how many ocs do you have?

4. have you kept all of your

ocs since the beginning?

5. are any of your ocs based

off of a show/book you like?

if so, who?

6. what is the species of the

majority of your ocs?

7. are any of your ocs an

original species? if so,

what's the species and who?

8. if you can, draw (oc name)!

9. write a few sentences as

(oc name)!

10. are any of your ocs part

of a story? if so, what is it

about and who's in it?

11. do you have any twin ocs?

12. are any of your ocs

siblings?

13. what is the gender of the

majority of your ocs?

14. make up a new oc right now

based on (concept/show/color/

etc.)!

15. would you ever give up any

of your ocs?

16. who is your oldest oc

(age-wise)?

17. have you ever roleplayed

as your ocs?

18. how many of your ocs were

adopted from someone else?

19. who is your least favorite

oc?

20. which oc do you think has

changed the most since you

made them?

21. who is your newest oc?

22. have you ever cosplayed

your own ocs? if so, who?

23. which oc do you think has

affected you the most as youve

grown with them?

24. have you gotten cosplayers

of your ocs? if so, of whom?

25. do you have any ocs that

you havent drawn/written as/

talked about in a long time?

if so, who?

OH MY STARS THANK YOU WAHAHAHA

OMG OK

ok. ok.o k

it's brainrot time :)

I've answered like 3 of these already so I'll just be copy-pasting the answers for those ones ^^

answers under the cut bc this is gonna be looooong hehe ☆*: .｡. o(≧▽≦)o .｡.:*☆

1. who’s your favorite oc?

Haruto: "Well obviously it's me. They haven't stopped thinking about me for like a month now~"

Raiden: "No, it's clearly me. Despite all the changes, I'm their longest lasting OC in terms of interest."

Haru and Den: *arguing* Olivier: "...?"

Olivier: "...What are they doing??"

Olivier's my favorite :)

2. who was your first oc?

uhhhh I think it was either Moonlight or Jasmine(??? I think that was her name)

3. how many ocs do you have?

182 and counting!

edit: more if you count the Undersociation cast, as well as the aus (yes, I've made aus of my ocs lol)

4. have you kept all of your ocs since the beginning?

[copied fr prev ask]

yep :)

every. single. one.

(I dont,,, use them anymore,,, but like they're still here lol)

addition from present me: there's actually a small group of ocs I had in elementary school that I had to let go bc I've pretty much completely forgotten about them, so I can't bring them back 😔

5. are any of your ocs based off of a show/book you like? if so, who?

[copied fr prev ask]

yep! Alice in Wonderland! I have ocs for the queen, the white rabbit, mad hatter, blue caterpillar, cheshire cat, and some in the same universe that aren't directly based on Alice in Wonderland characters.

I've only actually drawn two of them but here!

Haruto (Blue Caterpillar) and Chess (Cheshire Cat)

there's a bit more lore to it than them just. being the same characters from the story (bc,,, they're not,,,,,) (they're the descendants of the og cast) but yk lol

6. what is the species of the majority of your ocs?

Human, according to my spreadsheet. 57/182 are human. The rest are various other species lol.

7. are any of your ocs an original species? if so, what’s the species and who?

yes! a lot of them are original species just because,,, idk what species they are lmao,,,, for example: butterfly thing, fog thing, ghost??? monster????? thing??????

but do have a few original species ocs that I actually know what they are lol

these ones are the aureses ocudau! (these specific ones are named Tie and Zip!)

8. if you can, draw (oc name)!

random number generator go!

Florian!

he has my favorite name tbh ~Florian~ so fun

9. write a few sentences as (oc name)!

random number generator go! again!

Vesper! how thematic! Vesper is Florian's best friend, ehe

(I,,, am not a writer,,, oh no,,, here we go,,,,)

"Florian, are you kidding me?" "Ehehe, oops?" Vesper grabs Florian by the shoulders. "Florian. Florian. F L O R I A N. Did you seriously fall into a fountain chasing a cat???" "Haha. Perhaps..." Vesper gives Florian the Look™️. Florian flounders a little. "Listen..." "I'm listening." "In my defense... it was reaaaally cute." Vesper deadpans. "Seriously?"

10. are any of your ocs part of a story? if so, what is it about and who’s in it?

[copied from prev ask]

yesn't

they're all in one connected multiverse, and I like thinking of silly little scenarios, so technically they're all in a slice of life

with one exception!!

Undersocation!

which is a work in progress but the basic plot synopsis is that it starts as a slice of life and shenanigans with the association employees

but then the Catalyst happens and what's basically the apocalypse happens

our main characters are Sans (Spade) and Kyrian, and their main goal is to find their respective brothers, Papyrus (Clover) and Evelin

they don't know if Pap and Eve are okay or even alive, because they were out of town on a mission--but they were due to come back on the day the catalyst happened, so their status is unconfirmed

11. do you have any twin ocs?

yep! two pairs (that I remember lol) Moonlight and Midnight, and Yuuto and Yuki! (don't. question my naming conventions lmao. the first two are from when I was in elementary school and the second two have the Yu- "prefix" so to speak running through the whole family lol)

12. are any of your ocs siblings?

yes! many of them here are a few ^^ in a (slightly outdated) chart

these two (Keiran and Evelin) specifically have a new younger brother (Kyrian):

13. what is the gender of the majority of your ocs?

male, probably

14. make up a new oc right now based on (concept/show/color/etc.)!

her name is sabie :)

15. would you ever give up any of your ocs?

unless I specifically made them for that purpose (ex. adoptable, a gift) no <3

16. who is your oldest oc (age-wise)?

my oldest named oc is Haruto at a whopping 737 years old

but my actual oldest oc is his dad lol

17. have you ever roleplayed as your ocs?

yeah, kind of. I semi-roleplay as Olivier in a minecraft server I'm in

18. how many of your ocs were adopted from someone else?

none that I remember

19. who is your least favorite oc?

uhhhhhhhhhhhhh

I like all of them tho :(

20. which oc do you think has changed the most since you made them?

Raiden, hands down.

My guy got a complete design and backstory overhaul

before and after

(fuckin hell that lighting is trash lmao)

21. who is your newest oc? optional- doodle them to show!

sabie is lol

but besides her, them!

Siren!

they're Felix's older sibling (❁´◡`❁)

22. have you ever cosplayed your own ocs? if so, who?

yep! Nikolai (I only have videos of this cosplay lol, hence the blurry screenshot)

23. which oc do you think has affected you the most as youve grown with them?

[copied fr prev ask]

THIS FUCKING TWINK

his name is Raiden and he's my oldest oc that I still actually use and I am so very attached to him he's my bbg through and through

he's also the oc with one of the most batshit insane backstories lol (hint: all of those funeral pictures in the second one are *all* him)

24. have you gotten cosplayers of your ocs? if so, of whom?

nah, just me

25. do you have any ocs that you havent drawn/written as/talked about in a long time? if so, who?

[copied from prev ask]

yeah, almost everyone on my old deviantart

[changelingsandothernonsense]

Wip but it's my Thursday

Tagged by @saltymaplesyrup tagging @mareenavee ( I know you're getting space but I said I was still tagging) @thequeenofthewinter @archangelsunited @snippetsrus @gilgamish @tallmatcha @kookaburra1701 @thana-topsy @orfeolookback @caliblorn Low effort 0 expectation, I know there's a lot of chaos running around but feel free to join in if you like. I have been procrastinating on study because I'm changing my major so I am out of steam on that. So I have um...too many wips in both the art section and the writing section. We have been doing SAD WARS and that means a lot of art and a lot of writing. Like I think I wrote 30K in a month XD ART First I have the Erra render that I've been working on. He's coming along.

Some Josh about to fuck up some Reavers. IDK I kinda just wanted to draw the Dwarven toe prosthesis which will be more visible if I ever line this lol. under the cut for the rest!

Pic of Yani too idk. Okay, Writing!

Going to post 3 snips because I've been jumping around wips. First is a section from Mortal Chill

Corprus? But…how? I stood and moved to try to pull the covers off of him, I don’t know what I was really trying to do here. I could not remove them myself. I- I guess I wanted those bandages removed so that I could see for myself. The tumours, the growths that twisted and deformed the body. The broken bones the-

Maera he was so thin, was it the wasting kind? All I could remember were stories of mad creatures that would come screaming out of the southern ash wastes at night. That they had a madness, that they ate the cursed flesh of their brethren. The Urshilaku would warn us every few years of another outbreak of blight. That it had started breaching the Ghostfence.  My tribe did not much care for such things. The lore of our ancestors meant little amongst the Erabenimsun. Our Ashkhans were absolute rulers, our focus war and glory. The news of blight usually fell on deaf ears. Our Wise Woman’s warnings would often go unheeded. It was why my father had made that attempt on old Ulath-Pal’s life after all. Some sort of pact between my kin, the Ensirhaddon who bore most of the tribe’s farseers and mages and the Urshilaku and the Ilaba'andul-Sul family, who were the ruling clan of the northern wastes. It failed, and my kin were systematically executed one by one. I had fled the night my twin sister had her throat cut in her sleep. I was fifteen and utterly alone.

I had run into someone afflicted with blight somewhere around Piran. The wasting the growths. She was practically mad as she lashed out at me. I still have no idea how I had gotten away in the end. Maybe it is because I am forgetting so many things but I know that creature haunts me, Kiang.

Is this really to be my son’s fate?

You shuddered, turning to stroke our son’s cheek. Forty-six years since he was twelve. I guess I was trying to do the sum in my head, had never been good at that, resorting to counting the individual sections of my fingers instead. Three, six, twelve-

“Fifty-eight, Yani. He turned fifty-eight yesterday-I,” you let out a breath, shuddering once again, “I tried to summon you yesterday but- I don’t know why it didn’t work or-“

I couldn’t believe it, the last time I had heard your call and walked through the flames he was still a child, barely twenty-two! You reached for me, your hands on either side of my ruined face. Torn and beaten from the rubble that had entombed me. My ear missing, torn at some point. My face ripped from the razor edge of debris that I had not seen. My throat slashed to such a point that the grizzled meat was visible. It is why I cannot speak.

I was only thirty-one when I had died, barely grown myself. Maera I’ve missed so much.

The second is from Ahzidal's Descent

“Greave,” she held out her hand again, “Teldryn I need it to keep the splint in place.”

He grumbled a little as he reached out behind him, handing her the light, chitinous plate. The surface was a marbled green and beige that dully reflected the sunlight. It had something carved into its underside. Something in what looked like Dunmeris but she honestly couldn’t tell. Sydari untangled the netch leather straps and placed the chitin on top of his shin.

“Tel, I’m going to have to lift this again,” she said as she lightly prodded his shin.

“Do I have to wear it?” He groaned, scratching the back of his head, “I’m pretty sure that’s what irritated it in the first place. Thing was fine this morning.” He shrugged.

Sydari exhaled slowly. Of course, he’d blame the only thing that was supporting his leg! It couldn’t possibly be the fact that he chose to scale this dune! She lifted his leg and started securing the chitin greave to his shin, maybe a little too roughly.

“N'chow! Now I know you did that on purpose!” Teldryn protested, he began to fiddle with the leather strap of his goggles.

“You don’t think that maybe you aggravated your leg by climbing up a cliff?” Sydari pinched the bridge of her nose, “You didn’t even bother to properly brace it!”

“It was fine this morning when I took it off,” Teldryn hunched over his left knee and exhaled sharply, “Thing interferes with my prosthesis, I told you. Plus, I really felt fine this morning, Sydari.”

“You’re not supposed to be taking it off yet Teldryn,” Sydari began to search her pack again, pulling out another small vial, this one filled with a red viscous liquid that leaned violet in the sunlight. Tinged by the minuscule edition of Sleeping Tree Sap. It would dull the pain but make his comedown from the stamina tonic a lot harsher.

“What’s that?” Teldryn asked.

Sydari shook the bottle a little, “It dulls pain.”

Teldryn tilted his head, “Didn’t I just take one of those?”

Sydari shook her head, “No, this one is a bit different, stronger,” she handed him the glass vial, “Just don’t drink all of it, it contains a sedative.”

Teldryn raised an eyebrow, “What kind of sedative?”

Sydari sighed, “It’s a type of sap from this tree in Whiterun Hold, it’s um…”

Teldryn chortled, “Say no more hla’Miluth, say no more,” he raised the small bottle to his lips and took a small sip, “tastes like shit though,” he smiled and handed the mostly full vial back to her.

“You think everything does,” Sydari replied as she replaced the stopped and returned the vial to her pack.

She stood up and offered Teldryn her hand, “Come on, let's get you back to the Netch.”

“Aww come on Miluth!” Teldryn frowned, “It’s just over this ridge, we’re so close. Why go back now?”

Sydari pulled her pack over her shoulder and offered him her hand again, “Because you’re not making it up that hill, not in your wildest dreams.”

And finally a bit from Kagrumez Gauntlet

I took a few steps back, dagger still readied…just in case. The specter reached out.

“It is okay, Dumu, I mean you no harm,” there was an echo to his voice as well, as if he was both far away and far too close. I wonder if that is why he never spoke last time.

“Wha-“I stammered, I had no idea what any of this was.

He held up a hand and shook his head, “Does your Ata know you have that?”

I slowly lowered your dagger, putting it away. I shook my head at the ghost.

He sighed, “Nervyna, these places are death traps for the best of us. You cannot be messing around in here.”

I pouted, “Ata said he’d take me down here to help with his research. We were supposed to be here together but he ditched me with my cousins and came here himself,” I folded my arms, “It’s not fair!”

The ghost shook his head, his hair almost floating around him, “Oh Dumu, I am sure he had good reason. It is a new place, yes?”

I nodded, “That’s why we were going to come down here together,” I told the ghost, “then all of a sudden he decides ‘No! It’s time to go visit your cousins!’” I mimicked your gruff tone as best as I could. It made the ghost laugh.

“Ah, I think I know what is wrong, Nervyna,” the ghost smiled, “Your Ata found that down here, I do not think he wants one of these ambushing the two of you.”

I looked back at the metal mer that lay battered and broken, melted to the floor. Did he see this thing and run? I sighed, “So he saw this thing and ran away? It’s dead. Creepy but it’s dead.”

The ghost approached the broken hunk of metal and knelt over it, “Nervyna, your Ata does not run from these things. This is his doing.”

I walked over to where the ghost was kneeling, standing on the opposite side of the twisted metal mer, “how would you know that? I don’t even know who you are?”

The ghost furrowed his brow or tried to, the long scar that cut across his face seemed to make it hard, even in this form, “Nervyna, I have known your Ata for a very long time. More than he would probably care to admit. I know how he attacks these things. I have seen him do it many times. Dumu I know your Ata took down this metal mer because I do not know anyone else who can melt this kind of metal.”

I stared at the thing’s melted surface. It reminded me a little too much of how an ice mer melts during the early spring thaw. Like the ones that you would build with me whenever snow fell on the mountains to the north of the island. You hated the cold but you would take me up there every year so that we could make one. This wasn’t making any sense.

“I haven't seen Ata so much as take down a slaughterfish let alone whatever this thing is,” I stood and stomped back towards the stairs that lead further into the ruin.

“Nervyna! Wait!” the ghost called back as I descended the stairs. I replenished the light I had summoned with some of my magicka, just like you showed me. ‘Imagine you can make the light stronger with just one touch,’ I had finally started getting the hang of doing that.

The ghost reformed in front of me as I entered a colossal chamber. The whole place buzzing and whirring with that magical steam you always talked about. He frowned at me, bow gripped tightly in his ethereal fist. 

“Please do not run off like that. I can not protect you if you move too far away from me,” he cautioned, though his tone was even and calm, I could tell there was a slight hint of annoyance there.

“I never asked for your protection, ghost. I don’t even know who you are,” I grit my teeth, I never summoned any ancestor ghost. I don’t even know that spell yet!

The ghost blinked at me before sighing, “That is my fault, I forget that you do know what I look like. I am Erra, I was-“

“You’re Aya’s uncle!” I interrupted, I had heard of him before. I had heard of him a lot, in fact. You had called him by the same words that you used for Alma.

For a brief moment, I thought I saw the ghost frown. He smiled again and nodded, “Yes, that is it.”

[goldfades]

𝐀𝐍𝐃 𝐈 𝐂𝐀𝐍'𝐓 𝐋𝐄𝐓 𝐘𝐎𝐔 𝐆𝐎, 𝐘𝐎𝐔𝐑 𝐇𝐀𝐍𝐃𝐏𝐑𝐈𝐍𝐓'𝐒 𝐎𝐍 𝐌𝐘 𝐒𝐎𝐔𝐋 ─ PB⁵

౨ৎ ─ summary | this is part one, brother's best friend trope! bryce and paige had been best friends since they were kids, and she's never really been close to his little sister, y/n until she transfers to uconn after a tumultuous freshman year. part two!!!!!!!!!

─ word count | 10k words (holy fuck i'm so sorry)

─ warnings | VERY UNEDITED (just wanted to get this masterpiece out for yall since i've been teasing for a couple months) brother's best friend trope, language, kinda suggestive, couple kisses pretty fluffy, lots of tension, pretty fast-paced, LOTSSSSS of straight up yap, allusions to SA but could be interpreted as something else, drinking/alcohol usage, idk nothing else?

─ ev's notes | this might be straight up trash but this was a request from like early march, i wanted to do it justice and hopefully ???? i did. i'm gonna be honest, i blacked out while writing this and i'm too lazy to edit but hopefully it's good enough for yall!!!!!!!

pls lmk what yall thought!!!!!! i love hearing yalls feedback in my inbox 💘💘 mwah mwah mwah, enjoy!!!!!!

⇨ missing out on updates? check out my wcbb masterlist!

"LET'S GO, THAT'S MY BOY!" PAIGE SHOUTS loudly from the stands, earning a few amused glances from others in the bleacher.

Bryce, her best friend, hadn't done anything special but Paige was the ultimate hype-woman. Bryce heard her shout and shot her his signature smirk before focusing back on the game. They'd know each other since middle school ─ and they've been practically inseparable since.

After winning the game by 3 points, Paige walked through the crowd to try and find Bryce. And after searching for a moment, she spotted Bryce talking with a girl outside the locker room and began walking toward them. Before she could tease him, she quickly recognized the familiar face.

"Y/N?" She called out and both of the siblings turned around. Paige was almost shocked at how much you'd grown up. She glanced up and down, taking in your appearance.

"Paige!" Your eyes widened, your lips curving up in a smile as the taller blonde pulled you into a tight hug. "How the hell did you manage to get even taller?"

Paige chuckled as she squeezed you tightly in the embrace. "I guess I just can't help it," she joked, releasing you from the hug but keeping her hands on your shoulders as she looked at you. The last time she saw her sophomore year at UConn and your senior year at Hopkins, which has been almost three years.

After your senior year, your parents moved out to your grandparents house up in Colorado so even during holidays, she didn't see you or your brother anymore.

You grinned, shaking your head in amusement. "Well, you definitely make me feel short," you joked back.

"Well, you are short. Don't know how Brycey here got so tall." Paige teased as you laughed. Paige was shocked at how much you'd changed; your skin was glowing, your hair was longer, you'd gotten your braces off, you finally found your sense of style... She couldn't help but stare.

"Well, I guess he got all the height genes," you joked, playfully poking fun at Bryce's towering stature. "Maybe not the cute genes, though."

That's for sure, Paige thought to herself as she gazed at you. She realized she was staring before she glanced back at Bryce, a laugh escaping her mouth.

"Okay, okay." Bryce rolled his eyes as you joined Paige's laughter. "Me and the boys are gonna go celebrate. You guys down?"

"Well, I'm still trying to unpack-"

Paige cut you off as she spoke for you. "Oh, we're down. You can unpack later, B will help you."

"Wait, what." Bryce looked in between you two as he scoffed.

Paige flashed Bryce a smirk, clearly enjoying the moment. "Yep, you heard right. Consider it a big brother duty."

"I didn't sign up to be her brother." Bryce rolled his eyes playfully but quickly relented as Paige sent him a mocking glare. "Fine, fine whatever."

You chuckled at Paige and Bryce, realizing how much you'd missed their banter. "Looks like I've got myself a brand new big brother," you teased, giving Bryce a playful nudge.

Bryce grinned, shaking his head in amusement. "Lucky you," he replied with a smirk, playfully ruffling your hair.

"Hey! I just got a blowout!"

──

You and Paige sat in a different table than the team, opting for a table without a group of noisy college boys. Neither of you minded though, you finally had the chance to catch up since either of you had seen each other in so long.

"So, how's basketball?" You sipped on your fountain drink as Paige chewed on the pizza, trying to swallow quickly to speak. You let out a laugh at Paige's eagerness to talk about her sport.

"Basketball's been good, really intense this season," Paige replied once she managed to swallow her bite of pizza. "We've been training hard, but it's paying off. We're getting some great wins," she continued, her eyes lighting up with excitement.

You nodded, feeling a surge of pride for Paige. "I know, I've been keeping up with your games. Dad always watches your games and texts us updates on the groupchat, it's so funny."

Paige laughed, your family had always been really supportive of her ─ they'd slowly become her second family. "Dude, that's so funny. He doesn't even like basketball."

"He probably watches more of your games than Bryce's," you quipped with a playful grin, earning a chuckle from Paige.

"Don't let Bryce hear you, he'll kill me." Paige shook her head in amusement as she took another bite of the pizza. "Anyway, how are you liking UConn? Bryce told you'd transferred but you know how my schedule can be-"

"No, Paige, I totally get it." You smiled softly at her, nodding understandingly. "UConn's been great, actually. It's been a big adjustment, but I'm starting to settle in."

"I'm glad you liked it. Honestly, I never knew why you didn't come here in the first place ─ imagine, two of L/N at UConn." She exaggerated as you laughed, finishing up your slice of piece of pizza.

You chuckled at Paige's playful exaggeration, shaking your head in amusement. "I just didn't wanna go too far from home."

Paige understood why you were so scared, she remembers how shy you were when you were a kid. You really kept to yourself, the only reason why people even knew of you was because of your brother, who was a basketball legend. But seeing you now, she's sure no one would believe her.

You carried yourself so much differently, you were so much more well-spoken and confident. But it was a subtle difference, you hadn't changed so drastically to the point where she didn't even recognize you. You had kept all the parts that made you, you and gotten more comfortable in your own skin. You were so alluring to Paige, something about you just made her feel good.

"I get it, but hey. You're here now." Paige grinned as she finally finished up her food. She glanced around the shop before she turned back to you. "Do you wanna go walk around campus? I can show you around, so you know where all cool places are at."

If Paige was being honest, she just wanted to spend some more time alone with you. She convinced herself it was simply because she'd wanted to catch up more, I mean... she hadn't seen you in over two years.

You glanced over at Bryce, he was so engulfed with his friends you were sure he had forgotten you were even here. Plus, you did want to go explore the campus a little more. You snapped your gaze back to Paige, a small smile playing on your face.

"Sure, let's go."

You and Paige got up from the booth and left the shop, out into the cool night air. Despite the late hour, it wasn't completely empty ─ there were a couple people still out. You began walking, the cool air flowing through your hair.

Paige glanced back at you, continuing to analyze you and how much you'd grown up the last year. She'd always been closer to Bryce because they shared so many interests but also because you'd always been very shy and closed off. Up until your sophomore year, she hadn't really talked to you ─ but now, it felt familiar but different all at once.

However, Paige didn't mind one bit. She'd always wanted to be closer to you and now it seemed like the perfect time.

You caught her gaze and mirrored her smile, amusement evident in your expression. "What?"

"What do you mean, what?" She mocked your voice and you shook your head in faux-annoyance. "Can't I look at you? I mean jeez, you... you were always pretty but damn."

You let out a breathless laugh as you rolled your eyes, despite the warm feeling that began to form on your face. Paige had always had the teasing personality but for some reason, it felt different now ─ more personal. Maybe you were just over analyzing it. "Shut up, says you."

"What about me?" Paige teased as her gaze lingered on your face. The cool air did nothing to soothe the awful warm feeling on your face as you scoffed, Paige was such a tease.

You stumbled over your words as Paige laughed, trying to explain yourself. "Well... you know what I mean. You're really pretty."

Paige's laughter softened into a warm smile, and for a moment, the air seemed charged with a new sense of closeness between you. "Aw, thanks, Y/N," she replied, her tone sincere as she reached out to gently nudge your shoulder.

You felt a rush of relief at her response, grateful that she hadn't misinterpreted your awkward attempt at complimenting her. "Yeah, of course," you replied as shy smile tugging at the corners of your lips.

"I mean... you're always teasing me, and now you're all... complimenting me and stuff," you stammered, feeling the weight of Paige's gaze on you.

Paige's expression softened, a gentle smile tugging at the corners of her lips. "Hey, I'm just speaking the truth. You know," she replied, her voice soft and sincere. "When we were in high school I knew, like five guys who had the biggest crushes on you."

Your eyebrows knitted in confusion as you laughed, why would she bring that up? "Really? Well no one ever asked me out," your tone came out amused but there was an underlying hurt to it.

Paige shook her head as she scoffed, "Yeah it's Bryce's fault. He told all the boys if they ever asked you out, he'd break their kneecaps or some shit like that."

You burst into laughter at Paige's remark, the tension dissipating as you realized the absurdity of the situation. "Seriously? Bryce said that?"

Paige nodded, a mischievous glint in her eyes. "Oh yeah, he was very protective of you. Said something about not wanting anyone to break your heart or something like that."

"Well, I guess that explains why no one ever asked me out," you replied with a chuckle, feeling a sense of gratitude for your brother's unwavering support. "I don't blame him, the boys on the basketball teams were always sluts."

"Sluts is one way to put it," She laughed at your wording, nudging you playfully. "Looks like you were always off-limits." Paige wet her lips as she kept gazing at you, a smile playing on her lips. You didn't miss the way her tone shifted, her eyes scanning your body.

You couldn't help but notice the change in Paige's demeanor, the way her laughter faded into a more contemplative silence. Her gaze felt almost... lingering, and you couldn't shake the feeling of warmth that spread through you under her scrutiny.

There was something different in the way she looked at you, something that sent a shiver down your spine and made your heart race. As the moment stretched on, you felt a rush of uncertainty wash over you. What was happening between you and Paige? Was it just a fleeting moment of attraction, or something more?

You felt like your mind was racing, you were absolutely insane. You couldn't gather your thoughts as you swallowed.

"Yeah, I guess so," you replied, your voice slightly breathless as you tried to shake off the wave of uncertainty. Paige's playful teasing had taken on a new tone, one that left you feeling both exhilarated and very, very nervous.

Paige's smile widened into a smirk. "So, what about now? Are you still off-limits?" She asked, her voice low and. And before you could respond, she continued. "You know, you've really grown up a lot since high school,"

"Thanks, Paige," you replied, your voice barely above a whisper as you struggled to meet her gaze.

Paige's gaze softened, her gaze lingering on you in a way that made your cheeks flush with heat. "Anytime." She replied, her tone light. "So, where's your dorm?"

You cleared your throat, trying to compose yourself as you gestured in the direction of your dorm. "It's just a couple of blocks from here, Hilltop Halls"" you replied, your voice a little steadier than before.

"Oh shit, me too. How'd you manage that?" Paige laughed as she shook her head in amusement. Those were usually the dorms for student athletes and honors students, and she didn't recall you being either.

You shrugged, a sheepish grin spreading across your face. "Honestly, I have no idea. Just got lucky with the housing assignment, I guess."

Paige raised an eyebrow as she eyed you. "Hmm, mysterious," she teased as she smirked, her tone suggestive. "Maybe you have some hidden talents you haven't told me about."

You burst out laughing, rolling your eyes. "Oh yeah? Like what?"

Paige kept smirking back at you before you nudged her shoulder playfully, she let out a couple chuckles. "Hey, I don't know what you've been up in college. Who knows, you might be a party girl or something."

"Oh shut up," you couldn't hide the smirk as she let out a dramatic gasp.

"You are a party girl! Bad, bad girl Y/N." She tsk'd dramatically as you rolled your eyes. "Does Bryce know you're out here causing trouble?" Paige continued, her voice dripping with mock concern.

You laughed, shaking your head at Paige's exaggerated antics. "Oh please, Bryce doesn't need to know anything,"

Paige smirked, her gaze lingering on you with a playful glint. "Well, then, it'll be our little secret then."

You and Paige arrived at the entrance to Hilltop Halls, walking into the building then up the stairs. "What floor are you on?" Paige's voice rung in the otherwise, pretty dead hallway.

You glanced over at Paige, a smile playing on your lips. "I'm on the third floor," you replied, leading the way up the staircase. "It's not too far."

"Damn, I'm on the fifth floor." She spoke as she followed closely behind you, her footsteps echoing softly on the stairs as you ascended to the third floor. "But I do know someone who lives on this floor."

And right as those words flew out of her mouth, the door on their right opened to reveal a very tired KK. Paige let out a laugh at the coincidence, looking in between you two.

"Well, speak of the devil," Paige remarked with a grin, her eyes dancing with amusement.

KK rubbed her eyes sleepily, a yawn escaping her lips. "Hey, Paige. Who's your friend?" Her lips curved into a tired but otherwise friendly smile.

"It's Bryce's little sister. She just transferred and she lives on this floor," Paige introduced you with a warm smile. "Y/N, meet KK, one of my teammates."

"Oh, Bryce's little sister? What are you doing with his little sister?" KK's smile turned into a smirk as she raised her eyebrows, gazing at Paige knowingly.

"Oh shut up, it's not like that." Paige's face blushed as KK laughed, examining you with a smile. "She's like a sister to me."

KK's smirk widened as she continued to tease Paige. "Uh-huh, sure she is," she replied, her tone laced with amusement.

Paige rolled her eyes, her cheeks flushing slightly as she shot KK a mock glare. "Seriously, KK. Bryce would kill me," she insisted.

"Yeah and you always like a challenge." KK raised her eyebrows before she finally met your gaze "You're a lot prettier than Brycey, I'll tell you that. Nice to meet you, Y/N," her gaze lingered on you longer than Paige liked, sending her a glare (that went unnoticed by you).

You smiled, feeling grateful for the warm welcome from both Paige and KK. "Thanks, KK. It's nice to meet you too," you replied warmly.

Before KK could respond, Paige grabs your arm and flashed you a grin. "Well, it's getting late and Y/N needs her beauty sleep. I'll see you later KK, love you."

Paige's words came out quick as she practically dragged you down the hallway, KK letting out another laugh. "Nice meeting you, KK! See you around," you called out with a smile.

As you guys finally got to your dorm room, Paige gave you a smile. "Sorry 'bout that, KK just likes to tease."

"No worries, Paige. It's all good," you reassured her with a smile, appreciating her protective nature. "She seems really fun."

Paige returned your smile, her eyes twinkling with amusement. "Yeah, she is. She means well."

There was a comfortable silence as you gazed at each other for a few moments. Paige was the first to break the eye contact, chucking as her gaze lingered on the door then back to you.

"This was fun," Paige remarked, her voice soft but filled with warmth as she glanced around the hallway. "Let's hang out more, yeah?"

"Yeah." You smiled as your cheeks flushed slightly, nervously chuckling. "Just let me know when, cus I know you're a busy woman."

"I definitely will," she assured you, her tone eager. "And don't worry, I'll make time for you."

You flushed as you gazed back at the blonde. "Thanks, P. Really,"

"Why are you thanking me, I'm your friend. Of course I'm gonna make time for you," Paige scoffed as if it meant nothing at all.

"Well you're a student athlete-"

"So what?" Paige laughed as she shook her. "You have to get inside your room before we talk out here for another hour,"

"Alright, alright, I'm going," you replied with a grin. "Goodnight, Paige,"

"Goodnight."

With a final wave, you entered your dorm room, ready to settle in for the night but you couldn't help but grin. Your cheeks had begun to hurt from how much you'd been laughing, you couldn't remember the last time you'd laughed that hard. And it was all because of a certain blonde.

You shook your head as you sighed at your own thoughts, you needed to relax. That's just how Paige is ─ flirty and a tease, that's all. Nothing more, nothing less.

──

"How was it?" Bryce's voice snapped you back to reality, pulling your attention away from the task at hand. You blinked, lost in thought as you turned to face Bryce.

You and Bryce had been silently sorting through your stuff for the past half hour, both too exhausted (and maybe a little hungover, in Bryce's case) to engage in much conversation.

Your eyebrows furrowed in confusion as you turned to face him. "How was what?"

"Hanging out with Paige?" Bryce's voice slightly agitated as he spoke in a matter-of-factly tone.

His question caught you off guard, and you paused for a moment before responding. "Oh, it was good. We caught up and uh, walked around campus," you replied, trying to sound nonchalant despite the butterflies at the mention of the girl you'd been thinking about non-stop for the last 24 hours.

"Turns out she lives a few floors above me," you added with a smile as you kept on sorting through your make-up.

"Oh, wait." Bryce paused as he processed the information, realization striking his expression as he smiled. "Oh, yeah! And the rest of the girl's basketball team, too. That's cool, though now I can just hang out with you for an hour and then Paige, don't have to waste gas or anything."

"You just realized that?" Your voice was amused as you glanced at Bryce, shaking your head in disbelief at your brother's stupidity.

Bryce chuckled, scratching the back of his neck sheepishly. "Hey, cut me some slack. My brain's still waking up," he replied with a grin. "Why'd you and Paige decide to run off like that. I looked away for two seconds and you were both gone."

"Well, uh..." You didn't know why you were so nervous under Bryce's gaze ─ it wasn't like he was accusing you of anything nor have you done anything wrong. "We just felt left out cus you were with your boys. And we needed some fresh air."

Bryce raised an eyebrow, a knowing smirk tugging at the corners of his lips. "Fresh air, huh?"

"Yeah, you know, just wanted to stretch our legs a bit," you replied with a shrug, hoping to brush off any suspicion.

And as if right on cue, you heard a knock on your door. Before you could call out to whoever it was, the familiar voice spoke up. "It's me, open up."

Bryce dropped the piece of clothing he was folding to open the door for Paige, a smile on his face. You leaned so you could also greet her, a bright smile on your face.

Paige laughed as she took in Bryce's disheveled appearance. "How hungover are you, 1 to 10?"

Bryce just rolled his eyes and opened your door wider so that Paige could enter the room as he walked away to continue the task at hand. "Shut up, Paige."

"Ooo, someone's cranky." Paige's voice was laced with amusement as you began laughing, soon joined by Paige as Bryce glared at the two of you.

Paige chuckled as she stepped into the room, glancing around with curiosity. "So, how's the unpacking going?"

You shrugged, gesturing to the scattered boxes and bags around the room. "We're getting there."

"Well I have something that might help you unwind. We have a kickback at my friend's place, are you two down?" Paige's invitation took you by surprise, but the prospect of unwinding after a long day of unpacking sounded appealing. You glanced over at Bryce, silently gauging his reaction.

"Not tonight, I'm still recovering from last night. And uh... I don't think you should either, you're gonna be hungover as hell." Bryce's voice was filled with concern as he glanced toward you then back at Paige.

Paige just rolled her eyes at his words. "Hey, don't let Brycey over here ruin the good mood. It'll be fun. And B, would I ever let anything bad happen to your little sister?"

Bryce's concern for both of your well-being was evident, but Paige's reassurance seemed to alleviate some of his worries. He sighed, shaking his head in resignation. "Whatever, just don't drink."

"Says you, I'm pretty sure you're still drunk right now." You joked as Paige swallowed a laugh as she exchanged a glance with both you and Bryce.

Bryce just rolled his eyes, a smirk playing on his lips. "Yeah, yeah, laugh it up. Just remember what I said."

Paige waved him off with a grin, turning back to you. "So, what do you say, Y/N? Kickback tonight?"

Your lips curved into a smile as you nodded. "Yes, for sure."

──

The party was going great, it was exactly what you needed after a weekend of just unpacking and settling in. It wasn't as big as you were used to but you were still having fun with Paige and her friends.

However, you did take Bryce's advice and opt out on the drinking, at least for tonight. You didn't wanna make a fool out of yourself in front of all the D1 athletes you were suddenly best friends with.

"Can't believe you're Bryce's little sister," Azzi laughed as she took you in once again. You were so much more put together and very pretty.

You chuckled, feeling a little self-conscious under Azzi's gaze despite her very friendly demeanor. "Yeah, I get that a lot," you replied with a smile, trying to remain modest despite the compliment.

Azzi nudged you playfully. "Well, you'll fit right in with us. Maybe even better than Bryce does," she teased, earning a laugh from Paige.

"He doesn't fit in with us. He fits in with Paige and KK, not us. He's very..." Ice tried to put into words but decided to just shrug, a sheepish smile on her lips. "He's just Bryce. No offense,"

You laughed at Ice's comment, nodding your head in amusement. "None taken. Yeah you're right, Bryce is... well, he's Bryce," you replied, knowing exactly what Ice meant.

Bryce had always been a bit of a character, and while you loved him dearly, you could understand why people might not get along with him.

Azzi laughed, nodding in agreement. "Exactly! But you, on the other hand, you're like... the cool, mysterious sister," she continued with a playful smile, causing the others to laugh and nod in agreement.

Paige grinned, coming to Bryce's defense per usual. "Hey, leave my boy alone. He's just special, okay? So what if he's cocky and kinda annoying."

"You guys don't know how annoying Bryce can get until you've had to share a hotel room with him," you sighed dramatically as you rolled your eyes.

"God bless you, I couldn't imagine." Ice replied with a chuckle, shaking her head in amusement. "I've heard stories from Paige and KK, the one with the toothbrush," she pretended to gag as Azzi laughed.

"It wasn't that bad-" Paige protested as you shushed her dramatically, laughing.

"It's okay, P, you don't have to lie and defend him." You laughed as Paige rolled her eyes, leaning back on the table with a smirk.

"I'm telling him you said that," Paige threatened with a playful grin, raising an eyebrow in mock warning.

You gasped dramatically, pretending to be frightened. "You wouldn't!"

"Yes, yes I would."

"You would not!"

"Yes, I would!"

Before you could reply, you were suddenly pushed slightly into Paige. Her hands instinctively reach to hold you up by your waist as her expression turns into a protective one as she glares up at the person. Not only were you knocked into, their drink had spilled all over your shirt. You felt the cold liquid seep through your shirt as you stumbled, caught off guard by the sudden push.

"Oh shit, I am so sorry." The man's voice rang out as he looked down at you then Paige. "Didn't see you two there," he spoke as he noted Paige's hands on your waist.

You nodded, trying to ignore the warmth spreading through your cheeks from both the embarrassment of being pushed and the closeness to Paige. "You're all good, don't worry about it."

Paige's grip on your waist loosened as she stepped back, her eyes scanning you to make sure you weren't hurt. "Watch where you're going next time."

However, the man did not walk away after that. His gaze lingered on you as he slowly wet his lips, a smile on his face. "I've never seen you here. You go to UConn?"

You exchanged a glance with Paige, feeling a bit uncomfortable under the man's intense gaze. "Yeah, just transferred here,"

Paige stepped in, her protective instincts kicking in as she subtly positioned herself between you and the man. "We were just heading to the bathroom to clean up. If you'll excuse us."

The guy didn't budge as he kept his gaze on your figure. "You know where that is? Maybe I can show you ladies."

Paige's expression turned icy as she stepped even closer to you, clearly not amused by the man's persistence. "We'll find it ourselves, thanks."

"Come on, don't be like that. I'm just trying to be friendly." he insisted, his tone taking on a slightly aggressive edge.

Azzi and Ice exchanged glances before Paige's nose flared in anger. "If you don't back up right now, I'm gonna punch you in the nose," her voice was sharp as she eyed him up and down.

He sighed as he pushed his hair back before finally backing off, walking away. Paige's grip never left your arm as she gave Ice and Azzi a thumbs up before leading you to the bathroom. She walked next to you, her hand on the small of your back.

As you reached the bathroom, she closed the door behind you with a sigh. A guilty look crossed her features as she met your gaze in the mirror. "I'm sorry about that, Y/N. That guy was way out of line," she apologized, her voice tinged with frustration.

You met Paige's gaze in the mirror, appreciating her concern. "It's okay, Paige," you assured her, giving her a grateful smile.

Paige returned the smile as she sighed. She grabbed a paper towel then gestured for you to sit on the sink, which you obliged. She wet the paper towel and began cleaning up your shirt that was now soaking wet with beer and God knows what else.

There wasn't much use though, there was no way she was getting it out. But she kept dabbing slowly, catching your gaze every once in a while and giving you a small smile. The moment felt intimidate especially with the close proximity and the gentle touch of her hands on your shirt. You couldn't help but feel a flutter of warmth in your stomach as you watched her, her focused expression softened by the dim lighting of the bathroom.

"So," Paige began as she met your eye. "Tell me more about your party girl era, I bet you lived it up in Minnesota. You were probably the life of the party."

You chuckled softly at Paige's teasing, feeling a slight blush creeping onto your cheeks. "Yeah it was fun for awhile. But y'know... got a bit carried away," your tone slightly changed as you a forced a smile, which didn't go unnoticed by Paige.

Paige noticed the shift in your tone and expression, her playful demeanor softening into one of concern. "Hey, you okay?" she asked gently, her eyes searching yours for any sign of distress.

You sighed, a wave of vulnerability washing over you as you met Paige's gaze. "Yeah, I'm okay. Just... reflecting, I guess," you admitted. "A lot happened at Minnesota, y'know."

You didn't why you were opening up, you hadn't even been drinking that night. It was probably you just needed to talk to someone about it other than your brother or your mom, and Paige was here. She looked confused as she stopped dabbing on your shirt, putting the towel down.

"You wanna talk about it?" Her voice came out soft as she looked into your eyes, and you felt vulnerable but in a good way. You could trust Paige, no matter what.

You hesitated for a moment, feeling a mix of emotions swirling inside you. But something about Paige's comforting presence encouraged you to open up. "It's just... a lot of stuff happened back there," you began, your voice wavering slightly. "I made some mistakes, got caught up in things I shouldn't have."

Paige nodded in understanding, her hand reaching out to squeeze yours reassuringly. "We all make mistakes, Y/N. It's part of growing up," she reassured you, her tone gentle.

"They're mistakes I can never... undo, you know." You were being cryptic for a reason, you didn't wanna tell her straight up. "It's bad," you whispered as Paige shook her head.

"They can't be that bad, I promise you. As long as you didn't end up in jail, you're fine." Paige joked slightly as you sighed, leaning back slightly. Paige's expression flickered back to serious. "Wait did you?"

"No, no." You shook your head quickly. "Something may have happened at a party and I wasn't totally aware of it happening until the next day, and um... well, I just left after."

Paige put two and two together as her eyes widened, squeezing your hand. "Oh shit, Y/N."

"Yeah," you whispered softly.

"I... I'm so sorry that happened," Paige pulled you into a hug as you leaned into her embrace, feeling a mixture of relief wash over you. Her comforting presence offered solace in a moment of vulnerability, and you were grateful for her understanding.

"It's okay," you murmured, your voice muffled against her shoulder. "I've been trying to put it behind me, but it's been tough."

"Who else knows?" Paige asked as she pulled away slightly to meet your eyes.

"Just Bryce and my parents. And now, you." You paused, feeling a weight lifting off your shoulders as you shared this burden with Paige. "I haven't really talked about it with anyone else. It's just... hard, you know?"

Paige nodded, her expression filled with empathy. "Thank you for trusting me with this," she said softly, her hand reaching out to gently brush a strand of hair away from your face.

You gazed into her eyes for a few seconds before averting your gaze, feeling nervous. "But that wasn't the only reason why I left. The people there sucked, they were so close-minded and like... awful,"

Paige nodded, she understood how it was like because she had grown up in that town. "I don't know how you stayed that long," she joked slightly as your lips began to curve up into a smile.

"Yeah, well, I guess I was just trying to fit in," you replied with a wry smile, though there was a hint of bitterness in your tone. "But it's hard to fit in when you don't even belong there."

Paige's expression softened as she finally put two and two together. "I get it. It's tough when you're surrounded by people who don't understand or accept you for who you are."

You swallowed hard, feeling a lump forming in your throat as you struggled to find the right words. "Yeah, exactly. I mean, it's not like I ever really belonged there anyway," you admitted, your voice barely above a whisper.

Paige's gaze held a mixture of understanding and sympathy as she nodded. "Well, you're here now. And you belong here," she reassured you, her tone firm yet gentle. "And if anyone gets that feeling, it's me," she joked as she rose her eyebrows.

You laughed softly as you met her eyes, feeling a sense of relief wash over you. "I'm glad you understand the feeling, then."

Paige gazed back at you, a small smile playing on her lips. She was slightly confused but it didn't even matter, her heart was beating so fast she thought it was about burst. As Paige's heart raced, she found herself drawn to you in a way she hadn't fully realized before.

"Yeah," she murmured softly, her voice barely above a whisper. "I understand more than you know."

Paige's smile widened slightly, her eyes reflecting a warmth that sent a shiver down your spine. You couldn't help but feel drawn to her in that moment, your heart fluttering with an unfamiliar sensation.

Before either of you could say anything else, the bathroom door creaked open, interrupting the moment. Ice's voice broke through the quiet atmosphere, pulling you both back to reality.

"Hey, you two still in here?" Ice called out, oblivious to the tension in the air.

Paige cleared her throat, breaking eye contact with you as she turned towards the door. "Yeah, we'll be out in a sec," she called back, her tone casual. "Are you okay with-"

"Yeah, yeah." You responded as you hopped off the sink, grabbing Paige's wrist as you opened the bathroom door. You met Ice's gaze as she noticed the proximity between you two.

Ice's eyebrows raised slightly in curiosity as she took in the scene before her, but she didn't comment on it. Instead, she offered a small smile before turning to lead the way back to where the rest of the group was gathered. Paige pulled you slightly closer as Ice guided you two back to the group, her hand on your waist as she did so.

Her touch seemed to natural, so casual that you didn't even bat an eye. It was as if you both had done this a thousand times before, as if it were the most natural thing in the world. Despite the lingering warmth of her touch, you tried to keep your thoughts from straying too far.

──

Hanging out with Paige became a normal occurrence ─ Paige would always come by your dorm after practice, you'd watch a movie or eat dinner together. And on weekends, you were at her dorm playing Fortnite with her friends.

The more time you spent with Paige, the more you found yourself enjoying her company. Whether it was the easy banter between you two or the comfortable silence that sometimes fell between conversations, being with her felt right.

"You headin' to Paige's tonight?" Bryce called out from the kitchen as you entered it.

You nodded as you grabbed a bite of his sandwich, earning a glare from your brother. "Yep, we're probably gonna go out to eat. You wanna come?"

Bryce gave you a skeptical look, a smirk playing on his lips as he shook his head. "Nah, I don't wanna third wheel."

"What do you mean?" You responded as you mimicked his skeptical look, trying to ignore the warmth in your cheek as he gave you another glance. "She's your best friend."

"Yeah and your girlfriend." Bryce joked as you choked out a nervous laugh, immediately diverting your gaze from his and grabbed your purse. Bryce's teasing hit a nerve, causing your cheeks to flush as you tried to maintain your composure.

"Ha ha, very funny," you retorted, hoping to brush off his comment with a casual tone. "We're just really close, you jealous now?"

Bryce raised an eyebrow, a knowing smile tugging at the corners of his lips as he ignored your comments. "Sure," he teased, his tone laced with amusement as he watched you squirm slightly under his gaze. "I know you and Paige very well, probably better than you know yourselves-"

"You're so annoying, shut up." You cut him off with a scoff as you began walking toward the door, your cheeks red in embarrassment.

"Hey, I'm just messing with you," he laughed, his tone very amused. "Have fun tonight. And tell Paige I said hi."

"I will, don't worry!''

──

You didn't expect to hear a knock on your door at nearly one in the morning, especially since you had just settled into bed after a long day. Curious, you got up and made your way to the door, wondering who could possibly be visiting at such a late hour.

Opening it, you were surprised to find Paige standing there, exhaustion on her face. "Hey," she greeted softly, her voice barely above a whisper as she sniffled.

She looked up at you with bloodshot eyes before she took in your appearance. "Shit, I'm sorry. Were you asleep-"

"Paige, no it's fine. Are you okay?"

That was all she needed to pull you into a tight embrace, almost knocking the wind out of you. All you did was wrap your arms around her waist as she buried her face in your shoulder, her body trembling slightly. You held her close, feeling her heartbeat against yours, the warmth of her embrace providing some comfort in the darkness of the night.

"It's okay, P," you murmured softly, rubbing her back soothingly as you felt her tension slowly start to ease.

After a few moments, Paige pulled back slightly, gulit on her face. "I'm sorry for showing up like this. I just got home from the game and I didn't realize it was late."

It was slowly adding up as you gave Paige a sympathetic smile. "Don't apologize please, you wanna come in?"

You stepped back to let her in, closing the door behind her as she entered your dorm room. She took a seat on your bed, looking visibly exhausted as she leaned back against the pillows. You followed close behind, leaning back next to her as she sniffled.

"I'm really sorry for waking you up, you were just the first person I thought of." Paige spoke quietly, gulit plaguing her expression. "I shouldn't have, I should've just waited til the morning."

You shook your head gently, a small smile tugging at the corners of your lips. "No, no it's okay. I wasn't even asleep, I swear," you reassured her.

"I know but you have classes tomorrow morning and I should've been-"

"Paige," you interjected sternly as she sighed. "It's okay, I promise. I'm here for you, remember?"

Paige gazed at you as she frowned, feeling the weight of the entire team on her back. She shut her eyes as she sniffled, feeling the tears burn in her eyes as you reassured her. She felt them slowly fall as she sniffled, feeling your gaze soften as you watched her.

"Talk to me, please. Tell me what happened," you whispered gently, reaching out to wipe away her tears with your thumb.

Paige sniffled, leaning into your touch as she let out a shaky breath. "The game went fucking terrible. I played like shit but we kept getting fouled and the ref wouldn't call anything, leaving us at a disadvantage the entire time," she explained, her voice trembling with frustration. "And then, in the last couple minutes, I missed a shot that could've turned the game around. It's like... I let everyone down."

You listened attentively, your heart sinking at the pain evident in Paige's voice. "I'm sorry you had to go through that, P. You're still an amazing player,"

"It just felt like shit, it felt like the weight of the world was on my shoulders, and I couldn't handle it," Paige continued as she sniffled again, wiping her tears.

Paige kept venting the entire night and you listened attentively, letting her pour out her heart. Despite the exhaustion you felt, you wanted to be there for Paige like she had done for you multiple times before ─ and of course, you couldn't bear seeing Paige so broken and hurt after a game.

It was around four in the morning when Paige had finally worn herself out, passing out in your bed as you sat beside her, gently stroking her hair as she slept. You couldn't help but feel a deep sense of affection for Paige, admiring her strength and resilience even in moments like these.

You fell asleep a few minutes after her and when she woke up, you were gone, presumably at your lecture. Paige woke up feeling a lot lighter than she had in awhile, knowing that you had been there for her through the night. She glanced around the room, taking in the familiar surroundings of your dorm, feeling a sense of comfort wash over her.

You were such a comfort to her, even the mere thought of you had her smiling. She stayed in your bed for a few minutes, the moments last night replaying in her head; the terrible game and how you had comforted her and let her rant until God knows how late.

Paige didn't know even know where she was going after the game until she had ended up at your doorstep ─ it was subconscious, effortless and almost second nature for her to come to you. The more she thought about you, the more her stomach began flutter and her lips began to curve up into a smile.

Then, her smile dropped. Oh shit, did she like you?

──

"Dude, I told you that was gonna be on the exam, didn't I? Didn't I, P?" Bryce leaned back in his chair before he glanced back at his best friend, who was currently zoning out on her food. "P? Paige, you good?'

"Huh?" Paige finally met his gaze as she nodded, processing his words. "I'm good, sorry uh... what?" She glanced in between Bryce and his teammate, a confused expression on her face.

Bryce sighed as he glared at her. "Oh never mind,"

"Bro, don't never mind me. Come on now, don't act like a twelve year old," Paige mocked as she nudged Bryce playfully with her elbow, earning a groan from her best friend.

Bryce sent her a glare before he continued. "I was just telling him that I said that was gonna be on the exam," he explained as Paige's expression turned more confused. "You don't even know what we're talking about, never mind."

Paige rolled her eyes dramatically. "Oh, I'm sorry, Professor Bryce, I didn't realize we were having a pop quiz in the middle of Chipotle," she teased, earning a laugh from Bryce's teammate.

Bryce chuckled despite himself. "Very funny, Paige. But you might want to pay attention if you don't want to fail your finals."

"Bro, you can't be talking. Where were you last night?" Paige raised her eyebrows as he opened his mouth to speak, only to be cut off by Paige. "Yeah, yeah exactly. You're probably drunk right now,"

"Oh my god, shut up," Bryce rolled his eyes as he shook his head, trying to hide a smirk. "I can't say no to pretty girls, you know this."

"Yeah but you say no to me all the time?" Paige's tone came out annoyed as Bryce sent her a glare.

Bryce scoffed, playfully rolling his eyes. "Pretty is stretching it, buddy. Plus, you're not my type..." He gestured to her Nike tech outfit as she shrugged, taking a sip from her fountain drink.

"You got the ugly genes, so..." The words came out of her mouth before she could process them and as she glanced up to meet Bryce's glare, she knew she messed up. Bryce's teammate just laughed, nodding along to Paige's words only to be met with both their glares.

"Says you, bro. You're uglier," Bryce's words came out stammered as Paige's lips turned upward into a cocky smirk.

"That's not what your sister said," she shrugged as his jaw dropped in shock.

Bryce finally found his voice, his cheeks flushed with embarrassment. "You... you did not just say that," he muttered, shaking his head in disbelief.

Paige shrugged nonchalantly, taking another sip of her drink. "Hey, don't shoot the messenger," she quipped as she put up her hands in defense.

Bryce's teammate continued to laugh, thoroughly entertained by the exchange. "Man, you two never fail to entertain," he said between laughs.

Despite the initial shock, Bryce couldn't help but chuckle at Paige's boldness. "Alright, alright, you win this round, P," he admitted with a grin. "If only you had a sister, damn it."

Paige just shrugged as she laughed, unable to suppress it any longer. She'd been hanging out too much you to realize how much she actually missed Bryce. However, the new revelation as of this morning made it slightly bittersweet ─ if she began going out with you, everything would change. Would there be anymore banter? Would she have to choose a relationship with you or a friendship with Bryce?

She decided in that moment, she wasn't going to do that to Bryce. He'd been there for her through all her highs and lows, and she couldn't bear to jeopardize their friendship for anything. As much as she might have feelings for you, Paige knew that her bond with Bryce was irreplaceable.

"Hey, P," Bryce's voice interrupted her thoughts, bringing her back to the present moment.

Paige looked up, meeting his gaze with a smile. "Yeah, what's up?"

Bryce smirked as he glanced up from his phone. "You ready to lose at Fortnite later?"

Paige laughed, feeling a sense of relief wash over her. "Oh, it's on. Get ready to get your ass kicked, Brycey boy."

──

The adrenaline from the game was still pumping through Paige's entire body as she walked off the court, feeling like she was on cloud 9. The game had been intense, with both teams giving it their all until the very end. But in the end, it was UConn that came out victorious, thanks in no small part to her incredible performance on the court.

The thrill of victory filled her with an indescribable sense of joy, and she couldn't wipe the smile off her face if she tried and she swore that nothing else could possibly make her happier. Until her gaze met yours, her heart swelling as she read your obnoxious poster.

"No, you fucking didn't," Paige muttered as her grin somehow grew as you laughed.

She recounted the late night conversation where she had told you she's always wanted one of her friends to make a poster for one of her games, and she can't believe you actually had done it for her. In that moment, Paige felt an overwhelming rush of emotions flood through her, filling her heart with warmth and gratitude.

As she made her way over to where you were standing, Paige couldn't help but feel a surge of affection for you. The sight of your familiar smile and the playful look in your eyes made her heart skip a beat, and she couldn't suppress the grin that spread across her face.

"Surprised to see me?" you teased, holding up the poster proudly.

Paige laughed, shaking her head in disbelief as she pulled down the poster so she could embrace you tightly. "Nah, I knew you were here cause I saw your location," she confessed as you laughed. "You're the best, you know that? You made my night,"

"Really? Even after the amazing game you just played?" You smiled, teasing her as you wrapped your arms around her in return.

Paige rolled her eyes, but there was a fondness in her gaze as she looked at you. "Yes, even after the amazing game I just played. You just make everything ten times better, you know that?"

You laughed until you met her gaze, and if this were any other moment, she would have been laughing too. She looked serious though, her eyes scanning your face to take in your reaction.

Paige thought back to lunch with Bryce, how she would never even think about going out his little sister ─ he wouldn't be that mad, right? How could he? You made her feel things she swears she's never felt before, she couldn't ignore the butterflies that fluttered in her stomach or the warmth that spread through her chest.

What if pursuing something more with you ruined the easy dynamic they had? What if it didn't work out and she'd lose both of you? However, all those what if's were thrown out the window as she gazed into your eyes.

"God, you're beautiful." Paige's words came out effortlessly as she pulled you closer. She'd told you plenty of times, but it felt more different now. She was fucking whipped, that's for sure.

You let out a soft laugh at her words, a rush of warmth coursing through your veins. You met her gaze with a mixture of surprise and adoration, her confession caught you off guard.

Paige kept gazing back you, taking in your features as if she were seeing them for the first time, her heart fluttering with excitement. There was something about the way you looked at her, with such warmth and affection, that made her feel like she was the most important person in the world.

In that moment, everything else faded away ─ the doubts, the fears, the uncertainties. Fuck it, she was sure you'd felt the same and if you didn't, she rather that than feel regret.

In an instant, she pushed her lips against yours. You were surprised for a second before you quickly melted into the kiss, the poster falling to the ground as your arms wrapped around her shoulders.

Lost in the heat of the moment, you surrendered to the intoxicating sensation of her lips against yours, the world around you fading into oblivion as you lost yourself in her.

Paige's fingers tangled in your hair, pulling you closer as she deepened the kiss, her lips moving hungrily against yours in a frenzy of desire. Your senses were overwhelmed by the sweet scent of her perfume, and the taste of her lips that sent shivers down your spine.

"Hey, uh Paige?"

You both quickly pulled away as Paige whipped her head toward the voice. Ice and KK were standing there awkwardly as they glanced in between you, embarrassment and amusement on their faces. Paige wiped her lips with the back of her hand as she cleared her throat, sending them a glare as they exchanged glances.

"We just wanted to ask if... uh, you were going to dinner with us?" Ice asked quietly as you avoided their gaze, embarrassment clear in your expression.

"Obviously not, she's gonna be celebrating differently-"

"Shut up, KK." Paige sent her a glare as she giggled, Ice stifling her laughter as Paige looked back at you with a sympathetic smile. "Yeah, we'll go."

We? You smiled softly at the sentiment as KK kept giggling, her laughter echoing in the hallway. Paige glanced at you for affirmation as you nodded slowly, warmth filling her gaze as she nodded back at her friends.

Ice and KK exchanged a knowing look, their amusement evident as they tried to suppress their laughter. "Great! Y'all can come like... whenever. Sorry for interuppting," Ice said, her voice tinged with amusement.

"Are you, really?" Paige mumbled as KK let out another laugh.

"Someone's sassy tonight, ooo." KK joked as her and Ice began walking away, their laughter trailing behind them as they disappeared down the hallway. Paige rolled her eyes playfully at KK's comment, her lips quirking up into a smirk.

"Well, that was unexpected," you remarked with a chuckle.

Paige nodded, a grin spreading across her face. "Yeah, but you know what? I don't even care. I'm just... so happy right now,"

Her enthusiasm was contagious, and you found yourself grinning in response. "Me too," you admitted, unable to hide the warmth in your voice as you met her gaze.

Everything else was put in the back-burner and right now, it was just the two of you. The noise of the hallway, the hustle and bustle of campus life ─ all of it melted away, leaving just the two of you in your own little world.

After dinner, Paige drove you back to your dorm since it wasn't too far from the restaurant. It went well, you were pretty much friends with the entire team and it felt like your own special night too. And in some ways, it was. Paige's hands didn't leave your body the entire night, it was obvious something had shifted in the dynamic ─ however, it wasn't too much of a difference since she'd always been touchy with you.

As Paige parked the car outside your dorm, the atmosphere between you was charged with a new sense of intimacy. You lingered for a moment, neither of you eager to end the evening just yet.

"Thank you for tonight," you said, breaking the silence that had settled between you. "It was really fun."

Paige smiled warmly, her eyes shining with affection. "No, thank you," she replied softly. "For being you, for being here with me, for everything."

You felt a rush of warmth flood through you at her words, a sense of gratitude for the connection you shared with her. In that moment, you realized just how much Paige meant to you, how much her presence brightened your life in ways you couldn't even begin to describe. And how you couldn't even imagine a time when you weren't close with her, where she wasn't your conscious thought.

Without hesitation, you leaned in closer, your heart pounding with anticipation. Paige mirrored your movements, closing the distance between you until your lips met in a soft kiss.

As you pulled away, breathless and exhilarated, you found yourself lost in Paige's gaze. "I like you,"

You let out a breathless laugh at Paige's words, her kiss still lingering on your lips as you smiled. "Oh really? Couldn't tell,"

"Shut up," Paige laughed as she shook her head, her laughter filling the air with warmth and affection.

"I'm serious," Paige insisted, her expression softening as she gazed at you with unwavering sincerity. "I really do like you, more than I've ever liked anyone before."

You wanted to joke but you just couldn't, your heart beginning to race. "I like you too, P," you admitted, your voice filled with warmth and affection. "More than I ever thought possible."

You left the car after a few more passionate kisses, Paige's mind buzzing with pure excitement. As she began driving out of the parking lot, she felt her phone buzz and she quickly answered it.

"Hey, P, you still coming over to play some Fort?" Bryce's voice echoed through the speaker as her heart dropped. She glanced at the time before cursing under her breathe. "Jeez, did I catch you at a bad time?"

He let out a laugh as Paige joined him awkwardly, "Uh no, just kinda forgot. We just had dinner and I'm kinda tired."

"Bro, I have Redbulls and some beers in the fridge. Unless you're with a girl than you have no excuse," Bryce teased, his voice laced with amusement.

"Fine," Paige mumbled as she shut her eyes for second, before refocusing on the road. "I'll be there in 10,"

"Awesome, can't wait. Wait, can you get some pizza on the way I'm hungry," Bryce yawned as Paige's lips quirked up into an amused smile, shaking her head at her best friend's antics.

"Fatass," she joked before sighing, gulit tugging at her. "Fine, okay. I guess I'll be there a little later then."

"Great, see ya in a bit, P."

As she gathered her thoughts and prepared to head over to Bryce's place, Paige couldn't shake off the nagging feeling of guilt that settled in the pit of her stomach. But for now, she pushed those thoughts aside, focusing instead on being there for his friend and enjoying their time together, just like normal.

She then decided that, what he didn't know couldn't hurt him. Paige found herself more determined to bury those doubts deep down inside. She couldn't risk jeopardizing her friendship with Bryce, not when it meant so much to her. And if keeping her relationship with you a secret was what it took to preserve that bond, then so be it.

──

"Paige," you laughed quietly as her hand kept inching up your thigh, embarrassment in your expression as you sent her a warning glare. Everyone's attention was toward the current basketball game that was happening, but Paige seemed more interested in teasing you than paying attention to her best friend's game.

You couldn't help but squirm uncomfortably in your seat, shooting her a warning glare in a futile attempt to deter her advances. "What? No one's looking," she gave you a smile as you sighed, your heart beginning to beat out of your chest.

Despite your initial annoyance, you couldn't deny the thrill that coursed through you at her touch, the heat of her hand sending shivers down your spine.

"Oh, don't tell me you're nervous. Aww, you're nervous?" Paige's lips were close to your ear, her breath warm against your skin as she teased you.

"I'm not nervous," you protested weakly, though the rapid beating of your heart betrayed your words.

Paige chuckled softly, her hand still resting on your thigh as she leaned in closer, her lips hovering just inches away from yours. "Sure you're not," she whispered, her voice playful and teasing.

Paige swiftly turned her head toward the game before anything else could happen, annoyance filling your veins as you shook your head. Paige was having too much with this whole arrangement ─ practically everyone knew you were a thing at this point (well, with the exception of your brother and her best friend).

Paige loved teasing you, it was a part of what drew you to her. The way she could effortlessly lighten the mood and bring a smile to your face even in the most mundane of moments.

After the game had ended, Paige led you through the crowds as you looked for Bryce. Her hand was clasping yours tightly, not really caring who was looking as you navigated through the crowd.

Finally spotting Bryce amidst the crowd, you felt a surge of relief wash over you. With a smile, Paige led you towards him, her hand naturally pulling you toward him.

"B!" Paige called out, her voice cutting through the noise of the crowd as she waved to get his attention.

Bryce turned towards you, a smile lighting up his face as he caught sight of the two of you approaching. "Jeez, there you are! Took you long enough," he teased, his tone lighthearted as always. His gaze slowly dropped to your hands before you quickly pulled out of her grasp, nervousness etching your features.

"It was a big crowd, she was gonna get lost," Paige spoke quickly, her words tumbling out in an attempt to diffuse the tension. She shot you a reassuring glance, her eyes filled with understanding and empathy.

He looked at you two with a confused expression. "O-kay, whatever. You guys wanna go get food then head home, I'm starving." He looped an arm around both of you, pulling you into a tight embrace as he started leading the way through the crowd.

You and Paige exchanged a quick glance, a silent understanding passing between you as you fell into step beside Bryce. His demeanor helped to lighten the mood, and soon enough, the awkwardness of the earlier moment began to fade away.

After they'd gotten food and dropped you off at your dorm, Paige and Bryce began to walk to her dorm. There was silence between them for the first time in the night and Paige couldn't help but feel

A sense of unease settle in the pit of her stomach. She glanced over at Bryce, noticing the furrowed brow and distant expression on his face. It was clear that he was lost in thought, his mind preoccupied with something weighing on him.

"Hey, you okay?" Paige asked softly, her voice filled with concern as she reached out to gently squeeze Bryce's arm.

Bryce glanced back at Paige with a sigh, his expression turning annoyed. "Do you think I'm stupid?"

Paige looked taken aback as she scoffed, "What do you mean by that?"

Bryce let out a frustrated sigh, running a hand through his hair as he averted his gaze. "Bro, I know you and Y/N better than you know yourselves. You're both my family, you think I wouldn't notice you two are hooking up or something? It's kinda insulting, Paige."

The way he said her name made her stomach squeeze in discomfort, and Paige felt a pang of guilt at Bryce's words. "You're angry?"

"Angry isn't the word for it," Bryce sighed, his frustration visibly melting away as he looked back at Paige. "Seeing my sister and my best friend keep something from me isn't fun, like at all."

"I know, Bryce," Paige said earnestly, her gaze filled with remorse. "I'm really sorry. I should have been honest with you from the beginning."

"Did you think I would like, freak out or something?" Bryce's words came out quiet as he studied Paige's expression, searching for some explanation behind her hesitation to confide in him. "Because I wouldn't, Paige. I want you to be happy, you know that."

Paige shook her head, her expression filled with regret. "No, it's not that, Bryce," she replied softly. "I was just... scared, I guess. Scared of how you might react, scared of what it might mean for our friendship."

Bryce sighed, reaching out to give Paige's hand a reassuring squeeze. "Hey, you don't have to be scared, P," he said gently. "Whatever makes you two happy, makes me happy too. It's honestly kinda great, cause like... I've always said that you're my sister and now that you're dating my sister, you're my sister-in-law so basically, we're related."

Paige couldn't help but snort at Bryce's ramble, shaking her head. "We're not dating," the words came out of her mouth before she could really process them.

Bryce's expression turned into surprise. "Wait what? Why not?"

Paige shifted underneath his gaze, uncertainty in her expression. "I guess it was too official, you know? I needed to tell you first, to get your stamp of approval."

"That's kinda thoughtful," Bryce's expression was confused before he smiled. "Alright, okay. I give you permission to ask out my little sister,"

"I never said permission, I said approval. You're making me sound like a pussy, B." Paige joked as Bryce sent her a glare.

"Same thing,"

"Not really," Paige felt his glare on her cheek before she laughed. "Fine, Brycey, you win."

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↳ thank you for reading all the way through, as always ♡

[lurkinglurkerwholurks]

Chapter Three

Based on the end notes I'd been leaving on these chapters, apparently I was stringing each chapter as I went along. Couldn't have told you one way or the other.

Sorrow was relentless as gravity, regret as pervasive as dust.

Somehow I am still both immensely pleased with this opener and also find it eye-rollingly pretentious,

The rest of the room was wreathed in gloom, shadows spilling from deep corners and puddling on the floor. His wrists rested twisted and limp against the bedsheets, and if he concentrated, he believed he could feel the slow thrum of his pulse against the cotton. It was the only part of him that moved, that and the barely perceptible rise of his chest.

I've found I write the best, most depressed Tim when I'm sleepy. Not sad, not tired, but sleepy. Not sure what that means, but something about that state makes everything flow so nice and easy.

No mother. No father. No home. No more sitting by Jack’s bed. No more quiet jokes to elicit faint smiles. No more saving up stories for the next moment of lucidity. No more reading Sam Spade aloud. No more hoping for a turn for the better. A stuttering Morse code of heartbeats in an unending chain. A breath every five seconds times another seventy years. A mausoleum of memories. An entire lifetime alone.

Poor Tim, even what he had wasn't much. And if you read between the lines here and elsewhere in the fic (and contrast it with my later fic about his mom's death), he's not mourning his dad so much as he's mourning the possibility of ever having a good relationship with his last remaining parent. That door is closed irrevocably, that universe severed from him eternally.

Also I definitely did google how rapidly people breathe on average.

Tim sighed softly as his phone dinged a second time. More accurately, it meeped. Stephanie had changed her text tone setting to the cartoon roadrunner’s taunting call a few months ago. It had made him laugh at the time. Now he sympathized with the coyote.

idk, felt right

Hey. Heard about Jack. I’m so sorry Want me to come over? Tim? If you don’t want me over just say so but I need you to answer me pls Tim this is important pls give me a thumbs up or down or something

Texting is hard you guys. Figuring out a character's style is is so important, and how that style is perceived can shift! For me, I feel like Steph would play it fairly loose with punctuation and abbreviations but she'd rely on autocorrect caps too. Fully lowercase texts are too pretentious and too much effort. Your phone will capitalize I, Tim, and the start of sentences. I don't see Steph caring enough to backspace and change that or even turn off that choice on her phone. But as phone settings change that might be a less and less persuasive argument the further we drift from the year I wrote this chapter.

“Timbo, you awake? Alfred sent me with some food.” 

The only Tim nickname I will accept as a genuine, affectionate nickname. (It's also a variation of one we use in my family, so.)

“Tim? Sorry, bud, but I’m under orders to wake you up for some food.” Dick’s slender fingers gave him a gentle shake.

That's wrong. Dick's fingers might or not be objectively, empirically slender for a grown man his size but Tim wouldn't think of them that way.

When that elicited no response, Dick repeated himself, but with the Batman steel and without the “please.” It was enough for slits to appear from which dull blue eyes peered.

Blehhhhh. Not only is that last sentence clunky as heck, but it's the wrong POV. This chapter is close 3rd person POV from Tim, and that's a perception from Dick. Learn from my mistakes, chickadees.

“There’s my guy,” Dick said approvingly. The flicker of warmth in Tim’s chest snuffed out almost as soon as it ignited, but even its brief existence was something. The flicker must have shown in his eyes, or perhaps Dick understood the way he often seemed to intuit these intimate personal things, that being someone’s anything meant something to Tim even now—especially now—because the anxious smile on his face deepened and warmed.

honestly me tho

Much That Once Was Is Lost

First posted: April 15, 2018

Focuses on: Tim Drake

Favorite bookmark: "more crying. lurker is killing me with this angst"

Tier: Top 20 in terms of hits and comments

This is my “behind the scenes” series where I indulge myself horribly by annotating my fics. Link to the fic itself above. Thoughts below the cut.

As always with multi-chapter fics, I'll start with Chapter One and add subsequent chapters via reblogs.

Chapter One

I'm only tackling one multi-chapter at a time, which is why these end up so wildly out of order with the rest of this tag.

This was the second fic I ever wrote! It spawned directly out of Mother Bruce, which is wild to me because I continued to insist for quite a while that I didn't totally understand or know Tim yet.

Tim had thought becoming an orphan would feel different somehow. Like in the moment his father’s chest fell and failed to rise again, there would be this great rending of reality, forever hewing his life into Before and After. That was how it had worked for Bruce. For Dick. Maybe that was how it worked for him, too, and he was too numb to notice it.

There's always a tension between interior and exterior perspective, one that's both important and fun to play with, because one isn't inherently more true than the other, but they both coexist regarding multiple things at the same time. Here, we're stuck in Tim's perspective about himself and what he's feeling as well as his exterior perspective or assumptions on how a similar experience had worked for both Bruce and Dick, but there's already a signal that the interior perspective, which you might think would be solid and objectively true as a primary witness, may not be at all.

Tim’s fingers ran lightly across the marble table, taking with them a thin layer of dust. The dust and the stale taste in the air were the only change from the last time he had stepped inside the mansion. . . How long had it been?

It took a bit of puzzling to figure out what I thought the Drake home was like, both here and in other fics. Different details could point to different kinds of neglect—neglected and unkempt vs spotless and sterile—complicated by what the house had been vs. what it might have been in the brief window of time before Jack's death.

Bruce had trained all his proteges to walk without a sound, but Tim-who-was-Robin had never needed much practice. He was used to being a ghost in his own home. He made no noise now as he crossed the long entry hall in socked feet, shoes neatly lined by the front door. He walked in the dark, knowing nothing would be out of place. Trusting his feet to guide him safely, the way they always had after his midnight forays after the mysteries next door. In his head, Tim absently counted his steps, as he always did.

Another thing to figure out, how Tim chose to exist in his own home, a place that is undeniably his but also where he is undeniably unwelcome. I built on this more in The Return with the state of his room.

He had clipped the vase with his bag and hadn’t slowed even when the fragile porcelain shattered on the hardwood. He had barely heard it over the rattle of the bottles as he slung the bag over his shoulder. The medicine bottles full of his father’s pills. There hadn’t been time to grab them before Jack Drake had been loaded in the ambulance. Hadn’t been time to load Tim in the ambulance with him before the white doors had slammed shut. So Tim had come after with the medical records and bottles swept from the bedside table into the canvas bag. That was Tim, always following behind.

If this were in a comic, I'd expect to see Present Tim standing at the stares, watching the incorporeal path of Past Him sprinting down the full length of the page.

Also, I don't remember if I gave Jack a specific cause of death (it'll probably pop up later in his fic), but I didn't want to mess with the canon of Captain Kangaroo or whoever it was. No murder needed, just the banal tragedy of human bodies.

Flipping on the lights, he looked around. Here, too, everything was just as he had left it. The overturned chair from his lunge for the alarm. The rumpled bed surrounded by droning machines. The splash of paperwork on the floor. The crumpled plastic debris from the EMTs. Shuffling forward, he nudged the wrappers and disposable medical instruments out of the way, then reconsidered and bent to pick up the trash. Litter was carefully sorted into trash and recycling and disposed of accordingly. The chair was righted. The paperwork was tidied and placed on the dresser. The machines were silenced, then unplugged, the insistent beeps fading into silence and the screens plunging into black.

Tim, forever the fixer, the silent tidier who cleans up after disasters.

[eclipsedpascal]

You Deserve This

Andy Dolan x Female Reader

GIF by @kissxmedeadly !!

“The reader asking Andy about his kiddo (let's pretend is a lil boy 🤣) and him being very emotional about it and the reader who truly loves him conforts him 😭❤️” - anon

Please read the warnings!!

Warnings: use of drugs (weed), smut, oral (female receiving), slight public sex, slight angst, mentions of rehab, mentions of suicidal thoughts, a lil bit of crying and VERY slight Eden spoilers, but thats only if you don't want to know anything AT ALL, so basically none? idk lmao:)

Notes: hi! So this is my first Andy fic, I wrote it very quickly last night after a sudden burst of inspiration and it doesn't make too much sense, also it’s kinda cheesy? I don't think I've ever written anything this angsty or soft before, but i’m trying to be more in touch w my emotions nd this is my way of doing that, so hopefully i'll do more things like this soon:) also if you’re interested, the title is one of my favourite songs by Men I Trust that I just thought fit Andy well.

Word count: 1.8k

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The warm, dancing breeze washed over your skin, plucking up your many goosebumps and blowing the rainbow coloured sea of petals that decorated the large garden from left to right. The bittersweet mix of their fragrances and Andy’s blunt rushed to you and filled your scrunched up, wrinkled nose as you let out a loud laugh. The vibrant expanse of fluffy grass felt close to a mattress underneath you, cradling your form whilst you laid amongst the greenery and watched Andy ghost a deep inhale of the blunt he had balanced precariously between two fingers. He flopped his arm across the gap between you and offered you another toke, the dopey smile spread over his features making you laugh even more.

“What’s so funny? Hmm?” He questioned you jokingly, rolling onto his forearms and bringing his face to hover just above yours as you brought the blunt to your lips. You couldn't hold in your laughter, your drug hazed state and the breeze that pushed his brown curls to tickle your blushing skin only exaggerating your amusement further as you choked out clouds of smoke.

“What??” He joined in laughing, finding humour in his own confusion and finding your laugh infectious. His lips found your own in a sudden yet gentle kiss which you gladly embraced, still not managing to fully compose yourself as you giggled into his open mouth.

You did your best to pull back from the kiss, but were reminded you didn't really have anywhere to go when you felt a blade of grass flutter against your ear. “It’s just.. your smile.” You rested your blunt carrying hand on his cheek as you spoke, feeling your heart swell when he pulled an overdramatic expression of insult at your reply.

“What’s so wrong with my smile?!” He half faked offence, not understanding what you could possibly find so amusing about it as you giggled more and more. “What’s wrong with it?- is it my lips? ‘They not good enough for you baby?” His thick accent aided his voice, making him sound even more attractive than he already was as he joked with you.

“Noo! it definitely wasn’t your lips, cause I love those.” You gripped his locks a little firmer, biting your lip as his stare changed from one of curiosity to one of want.

“Oh yeah?” He leaned back down and kissed you again, but this time rougher, the weed made you feel as if his lips were slowly melting into your own as it sent strong signals of lust through your body. He put all his weight on one arm, lifting the other and groping your waist with it whilst simultaneously moving to trail wet kisses down your neck.

His touches were deep, yet executed so delicately it convinced you if he was any rougher, you might just break. He opened the buttons of the flowing shirt you wore; one you had stolen out of his wardrobe that morning. He moved his head further down your chest to your stomach, mouth racing in slow motion to reach you were he wanted to most.

Forgetting to explain why you found his smile so funny in the first place, your high carried your thoughts closer towards how incredible his mouth felt on your skin, making you lean into his touch and let out a few small mewls.

As he reached your panty line, he tapped your hip, signalling for you to lift them so he could take your shorts off. He slid them off your legs in a quick, smooth motion that had them landing on a nearby lavender bush. The garden had quite a large variety of blossoming shrubbery and many clusters of beautiful flowers, it was probably down to the bi-weekly gardeners Andy had hired. You had known they were expensive and after spending so much time like this, lazing around, surrounded by the expensive home’s nature, you were beginning to understand why he had hired them.

You returned your gaze from the dangling shorts, back to the man nestled between your bare thighs. His beard was scratching at your skin in the best way possible as he laid small kisses over the thin fabric that covered your cunt. His hot breathe felt like fire as you wriggled and squirmed below him, just wanting some kind of contact from him.

He used two fingers to peel your panties to the side, groaning at the site of your glistening folds before kissing your clit gently. His tongue started swiping across your cunt slowly, taking all the time in the world to make you feel as good as he knew he could. You moaned loudly, grabbing at his hair once more as he sucked on you deeply.

“Mr Dolan?” You were interrupted by a throat clearing before hearing a man speak; one of Andy’s many servants you guessed. They had never seemed to leave the two of you alone whilst you had been staying there. No matter how big his home was, you always seemed to find another at every corner.

Andy looked up to the man with question and annoyance, raising an eyebrow at him as he wished for him to just hurry up and leave so the two of you could continue with your escapades. “It’s the phone for you Mr Dolan. Your son.”

Andy quickly rose from his place below you, his mind abandoning all thought of the act he was just partaking in as he jogged past the glass doors of his home, wanting only to speak to the young boy.

You sat up slightly, doing up a few buttons of your shirt and laying your crossed legs to the side of you as you held yourself up with your arm. You watched him as he scrambled into the house after his servant, little red marks from where he had been lying in the grass next to you were noticeably imprinted on the skin of his left arm, the one he had been leaning on, and his open shirt was flowing behind him with the speed he was moving.

You looked down to the flowers on front of you, picking a single daisy that bore tinted, pink tips on the end of each slim, white petal, twirling the stem around between two of your fingers as you listened to the breeze pick up. You could feel the mood of the air change as he left, the wind feeling more cold an irritating than once before as you pondered the call Andy was having.

You knew how desperate he had been to speak to his son again. It had been months since he had spoken to him without his ex-wife being the messenger. He missed him more than he knew to describe.

His recent divorce had been what had fuelled him to return home to Eden; hoping to find solace in the paradise he knew so well after feeling as if he had lost himself entirely. Spending too many years constantly playing other people had taken more of a toll on him than he had realised, that was until he was sent to rehab. After getting out, he felt as if staying in Eden was the only way for him to climb out of the dark hole he had managed to find himself in. Unfortunately, this journey of finding himself had meant making the decision to leave his son behind in Los Angles. Something he didn't like to speak on much.

When you had first met him in rehab however, he had been extremely open about his life, telling you how anger was the only emotion he could really feel anymore. Explaining that if he wasn’t at least the slightest amount intoxicated, he didn't think he couldn't go on with living; especially after the recent downfall of his career being showcased for the entire world to see. It was dark stuff, but you understood each other. That’s a big part of what made you grow so close.

You picked off petal after petal from the daisy, watching its beauty fade with each pluck and letting each one slowly blow into the breeze, creating a tragic stream as they blew away from you and down to the not so far off shoreline. As you plucked the last petal, you admired the daisy, still glowing with pollen and beaming in the sunlight despite have lost so many important parts of it. You stuck it into your shirt pocket and fell back down to lay on the grass as you waited for Andy to finish his call.

It had been maybe ten minutes you were lying with your eyes closed, enjoying the heat that beamed down from the clear, Australian sky when you finally heard the slow footsteps that you knew to be Andy’s, pattering along the grass. You shot up from where you lay to see the dopey-smiled man who had left you in the garden just fifteen minutes before, only to be faced with a red-eyed, teary one.

“Andy what happened? Are you okay?” He fell down onto the grass besides you, staring at you but completely wordless. You felt as if you could see into his soul. He was feeling so many emotions he hadn’t even been able to grasp at in so long. It was overwhelming him and you knew it. You reached out to stroke is cheek, concern running through you for the man that you had grown to love so dearly over the past few months.

He looked up “She’s gonna let me see him. T-They’re coming over next month.” A tear fell from his face as he smiled harder than you had ever seen him smile before. He was finally going to see his son after all these long months and you couldn’t have been any happier for him.

“Really?! That’s amazing, oh my god!” You moved forwards, wrapping your arms over his large shoulders and squeezing him in a hug so full of love it was palpable. “You really got to speak to him this time?” You questioned him once more before pulling away from his grasp, thinking back to the many times his ex-wife had promised he could speak with the boy but decided at the last minute he wouldn’t get to.

“Yeah!.. he uhh,” He took in a shaky breath, chuckling with joy as he recalled hearing the young boy’s voice so filled with excitement and energy over the phone. “He said he couldn't wait to meet you! You know, when I told him about you.” He stumbled over his words, running a hand through his hair as he shook with nerves, doing his best to calm himself.

In that moment, you felt your love for him soar higher than it ever had before. You were so proud of the progress he had made, and you knew his son would be too. “And I cant wait to meet him either.” You rested your forehead against his, the two of you enjoying a stand still and bathing in the happiness you both felt in the beautiful moment. The sound of the ever present breeze occupied your ears as the laughter emitting from two of you joined it, echoing a song throughout the garden that wouldn’t be forgotten any time soon.

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Thank you sm for reading!!🥺💗

Tags: @celestialrequiem @ntxoza @dark-mei-rose @sojournmichael @blakescoven @ritualmichael @ghostangels @fernfiction @ferndolan @brattylovee @7-wonders @angelicmichael @melodylangdon @brooklinn13 @kitty4860 @lavenderahs @michaellangdonstanaccount @9layerdevilfoodcake @chicaluna2410 @plymptxn-reborn I've just tagged anyone who I thought might be interested as per usual, but if you would to be removed feel free to let me know!! you can also lemme know if you would like to be added to the tag list too:)

[bottom-lexa]

Do ya'll want a transition update? i haven't made one in a while and things have changed a lot since the last one.

so yeah, as of now, i'm 7+ months on T which is !!!! insane, its so crazy. i have a blood test coming up soon and then a follow-up appointment with the gender clinic to check on my progress and stuff. and i'm gonna switch from gel to shots because i'm sick and tired of putting the gel on every time and i'd rather suck it up with the needles and go on shots.

before i started T, and even a few months into it, i was very much on documenting every change and making update posts and vids and all that. but like. the longer i've been on it, the less i wanna do it. because. because. i don't feel like its something different and exciting anymore. which is actually incredible. it feels very normal and very mundane and like its just me its just a part of me its nothing special and different. me being trans is just a normal thing. and honestly, i never thought i'd reach that point. at least, not this early.

mentally, i feel so much happier. my depression although gets bad from time to time, its in a very different way than before. like before it was intense and heartaching and it made me cry uncontrollably. now its?? a dull ache, an emptiness. and all i wanna do is stay in bed and do nothing. since starting T, i haven't cried even once coz of Feelings. I've cried over fictional stuff but yeah. [side note, it hadn't been harder for me to cry like a lot of guys say]. but bottom line, I'm happier, I'm calmer, more confident, more content. and that's both T in general and also being more myself that it's easing my depression.

here's the kicker though. and its something i realized a couple of weeks ago. i'm happy with my body. fat redistribution is Very Slow duh but i can already see my hips getting less curvy. but uhhhh i'm not impatient for top surgery anymore. i can wait. yes, i still want to yeet the teets and i still hate my tiddies. BUT i don't hate it as much ya know? like i can tolerate it now? probably coz the rest of my body feels more like my own now. and i'm just happy with how things are. i don't mind it as much. my friends see me as a guy, i see me as a guy, my body feels so much more like my own. and like i will happily wait a few more years till top surgery its not my top priority atm. T is my top priority, i love how its changing my body and helping my mental health and just. i just love what its doing for me. i 10000% want top surgery still but i know how long the wait times are or how expensive it is otherwise so i can just wait till i can get it. it doesn't hurt me as much as it used to. now its all chill, i stand in front of the mirror and its like oh look its me.

physical changes under the cut coz Long

lets go top to bottom.

head. so it hasn't been that long. but i think. i think. my hairline, or at least the right corner of it is starting to recede lmao.

face. hair!!! facial hair!!!! i shave it off but theres a lot and i gotta shave every 2-3 days. mostly its the mustache. next is the chin hairs. followed by the jaw. everything else is much more subtle but still needs to be shaved. the texture is also different, it changed a decent amount. its not as soft as it used to be, rougher, but that's about it. idk why or how but my face already looks more masculine. not much, but slightly, i can't explain it i can't point out the specifics but it just does.

shoulders/arms/hands. this is both T and working out. i guess i can put my back in this category too coz its getting more defined and broader. my shoulder + traps be looking Big, rounded shoulders and swole traps. but these two muscle groups have been the easiest for me to build anyways. arms have less fat on them and are finally starting to get more defined. like although my arms have grown even before, my biceps were/are very stubborn but its starting to make progress. and hands!!! my hands are Hotter and Sexier than they've ever been, that is all. they look strong and the veins show more now and oof it looks great.

tummy. the tum tum has a lot to do with working out too but fat redistribution yes. my abs are getting more definition and although my tummy has the most stubborn fat, its getting easier to get the abs to show. i have a good balance of soft fat and bulky muscle going on there and hmmm its kinda sexy. and oh my god hair. tummy hair. i don't just have a happy trail, i have a hairy tummy. which i will shave and clean up soon enough but i will keep the happy trail. i just wanted to see how much hair i'd get on the tummy coz of T.

hips. they be getting smaller. marginally but still ye its better than nothing.

dick. tmi but my dick. my fucking dick. oh my god. my clit was just about visible pre T. i had a very small clit. but within weeks of starting T, it grew. and at one point it was painfully sensitive but now its calmed down. but its big. my guys its so big now. its around an inch (maybe a tiny bit more) long now!!!!!! and gets bigger (and wider) when its hard lololololol. another tmi is the fact that i get infinity wetter now than i used to, there is so so so much more cum. and i actually enjoy penetration now, it feels good now whereas before it felt wrong and awful and made me extremely dysphoric. but now?? hecking love it.

legs. hair!!! my lower leg was always hairy, and it still is the same but just grows a lot faster. i didn't used to get much above my knees. oh god do i do now. my legs are so hairy and i love it. i shave it tho, i shave below the knees coz smooth but i like the hair on the top.

[tartagilicious]

Hi, I've got a bit of a weird request for MLQC. What would be different with an MC who was a player of the game before somehow getting pulled into the first chapter of it? They don't have to have played through everything, but definitely at least up to ch 13, after Lucien's reveal. Which of the guys would notice MC acting weird? Would MC ever tell them? How would they react? How does this mess with the plotline?

😳 wait when I tell you I used to think about this on a daily basis- I’ve never gone into much depth with it though, so I guess now is a better time than ever! let’s say that for drama’s sake, this person has played up to chapter 29, since I think that’s the last chapter she reunites with them after being gone for 6 months.

Lucien:

- In my eyes, this always starts with the MC waking up confused in her apartment. She recognises the area around her based now what she’s seen in the game and is familiar with though she obviously thinks it’s a dream. Until, that it is, there are texts from in game characters that come from the phone on the bedside table. She’s more unsure then.

- She explores the apartment briefly and is freaked out when she recognises the kitchen, but decides that she should try visiting some other places she remembers from the game to try and confirm what’s going on. On the way out, she runs into Lucien, who’s leaving his apartment at the same time. 

- By chapter 29, the last we’ve seen of Lucien is when you’re reunited and he confesses those things to you while he thinks you’re asleep. Because of this, and also because of outside sources, this person understands his situation and his personality much more. There’s a lot less hesitancy, but she isn’t sure what Lucien knows at this point. At the very least, it’s comforting to her that she has the upper hand when he’s not quite smitten for her yet.

- I always end up confiding in Lucien because I’m biased, though normally, that’s obviously not a good idea T-T

- Though of course, early Lucien is very far from a threat, so he notices how bewildered she is to see him and is more concerned than anything. It’s hard to know what to say without completely revealing everything, but I can imagine she’d be struggling either way. She would probably slip up once, maybe referring to something personal between them that hasn’t happened yet out of nerves

- He’d be polite about it, not even a bit wary because I don’t even think the MC knew she had an evol yet, and he’d know that. It’d be better just to assume that she’s spewing nonsense than actually looking very deep into it.

- I have a feeling that this would end up messing with the plot pretty badly, actually. She knows a version of him that doesn’t exist yet, and this would be a singular issue imo. His personality is night and day when comparing to the beginning to how he is currently. It would get her into a lot of trouble either way, but could possibly also force Lucien go undergo development much much earlier

- I can imagine her trying to curve his betrayal. he tells her to meet him at the place he tells her his real motives (the news station?? that skinny and tall building idk ;-;) and she just flat out says no. you can’t leave me if I don’t let you >:)

Victor:

- this!!!!! I have such a soft spot for victor and it shows in how this plays out in my head. Without a doubt, the only person that I would trust with the information that I was pulled into the game is Victor. Throughout most of the game, mostly later chapters, Victor is kind of like her partner — she learns to trust him with almost everything, and they work through the situations they can together. They save each other’s lives countless times. This is a lot for one person to carry while the other is clueless of any of that ever happening.

- Next, I feel like it’s reasonable that she would try to seek out everyone else, and where better to find Victor at this point than LFG? Conveniently, once she gets in the office, Goldman hunts her down to tell her that Victor’s waiting for her in his office to discuss the final terms of investment. talk about nostalgia lol

- personally. I’d feel panicked going up to his office. Victor is a very intimidating guy when you aren’t close to him, and acting as you normally would around him will not only be possibly humiliating but also just not effective at all.

- she would devise a plan in her head and as they talk, would slip in small details that kind of further the plot without revealing too much. so for example, mention how the investment is so important to her because she was an orphan and wants to make a name and prove that anyone can do what they dream to. he’d probably try asking more about that, but if not, she could always go into further detail like how she was injured pretty badly trying to save someone else around that time, but doesn’t really remember why and wants to find this person to see if they’re doing okay. This would advance their relationship like 10 chapters, but it would be pretty hasty. This would just be to let him know who she is and what kind of things the future will contain

- Once he figures out what she’s doing, he’d ask what her purpose is — why did she seek him out? to this, she’d most likely reveal her dilemma, and how she was pulled into this world from hers, and knows what will happen for months in the future because of the circumstances

- whether or not he’d retain this affection that he has for the MC when knowing that she isn’t technically who he’s looking for is up for debate, but regardless, something like that is definitely too good to pass up. he’s always been connected to black swan, and knowing her and enlisting her help would most likely come in handy.

Gavin:

- I think I’ve implied that these events take place somewhere in the first few chapters rather than the first so :( I’ll just continue with that. that might even work better, because it gives them at least a bit of a connection to this person. I don’t really remember what happens in the first few chapters, ngl, but I think it’s pretty calm. 

- Gavin!!!! whether he’s your favourite or not, you can’t deny that this man is a literal pilar of support. he’s the knight in their dynamic, whereas she’s the queen. she knows he’s not as intimidating as he seems, and her immediate friendliness might throw him off a bit, but I think it’d be a good thing. 

- part of the reason he backs off so much in the earlier chapters is so he doesn’t overwhelm her with all of these sudden developments (like coming back to be her personal guard, about black swan, etc) In the original plot, Gavin knows much more than he lets on, always more than the mc does at the very least. 

- this would probably change their relationship a lot. I mean, obviously, whoever this is that’s been pulled into the game is bound to have a different personality to the normal mc. she’s more joking and doesn’t hesitate so much, and obviously is a lot smarter and confident due to knowing the future. she doesn’t have to rely on Gavin for information like the original mc does. instead, she acts with him. 

- this literally takes 27 chapters in the game. when she meets Gavin in that evol institution in ch27, that’s the first time they fight comfortably side by side. 

- Gavin would definitely notice such a drastic change in personality from the shy and kind girl he knew in high school. he might comment on it a few times, but I feel like a personality change is a bit easier to justify, especially since it’d been a few years. she technically has the mc’s memories, so it’s not suspicious or anything. he’d probably eventually let it go.

- though, I think it’s pretty plausible that he’d find out you’re not actually the mc he knows later, maybe by mistake or by you telling him. but by then, he’s also grown attached to this new version of her and doesn’t mind as much.

Kiro:

- you wouldn’t have to tell him you were pulled into the game. he’d know.

-  with his connections as Helios and also just his general memory of the mc, it wouldn’t take very long for him to figure out that she’s not the person he’s been chasing for years. and the mf would probably point it out too, scaring her half to death.

- of course, he doesn’t know how she appeared, just that she did, replacing the actual mc. but, despite how he’s very honest about knowing she isn’t who she says she are, he’s empathetic. it’s hard not to be when she has the mc’s face.

- she’d tell him what happened and how she appeared, partly because she wants to trust him and partly because he seems a bit threatening, but either way, I see him as an eventual ally. she knows the inner workings of everything and would be a great help to him in messing with black swan. they’d pretty much be an unstoppable duo with their combined knowledge.

- as they get closer, she feels it’s necessary to tell him that he doesn’t have to leave to protect her. she can handle herself, and him ever leaving would only cause more grief and make things complicated. he would probably tell her not to worry, that he wouldn’t just leave unprompted. 

- when he ends up leaving anyway, it stings more than it did watching it on a screen. 

- though, that also makes the reunion more memorable, and it would probably go differently as well. maybe kiro is this mc’s LI?? that would be cool asf

[catcze]

ooo more lore !! i don't usually use the wiki, i just look through items myself & i don't have those so i wasn't aware :0 wait watch me go on a wiki dive all night now adkhskdhfk. i do have a bit of a theory tho!

2.1 archon quest spoilers //

ok i'm probably gonna look like a clown when i'm proven wrong, but part of me kinda doubts signora's actually dead?? like, she seemed like a pretty major character, and it was so sudden. i know keeping her alive would undercut ei's power, but to be fair she hasn't had the gnosis for awhile, so the musou no hitotachi might not be as strong as it was when she slew orobashi, for example.

at the end, signora didn't use her vision(?) or delusion, opting to reach for ei's gnosis (that's what it looked like to me idk). which makes me think - if she wasn't using her pyro, why did she disintegrate to embers & ash instead of something more indicative of the lightning that killed her? i suppose it could just be a visual reference to how her body is made of liquid flame, but mayyyybe she did activate her pyro abilities at the last second to escape, and that's why her 'death' looked the way it did.

during the battle she seemed to be able to move pretty quickly in a pyro form of sorts, so what if she kinda.. dissolved into embers and disappeared of her own will? maybe she timed it right, or maybe she was hit by the musou no hitotachi - she is based on moths i think which have a sort of cycle of rebirth, and she did enter an ice chrysalis(?) mid-fight. so what if she's recuperating elsewhere in stasis like that, only to be 'reborn' later on in the game? many thoughts rn,,

idk, i'm sure i'm missing some points here, and i'm not rly convinced one way or another myself - i just think it would be cool if we saw more of her somehow hehe. as much as i love the whole 'mc befriends former bad guys they defeat' trope, it was refreshing to see a villain like her imo!

and yess, i've loved watching traveler grow more impatient & testy as the story progresses. altho the scene after signora's fight was.. a bit anticlimactic with my seelie dancing behind me lmao?? everything was dark & glitchy, traveler's silent, paimon's recounting the gruesome tale, and there's mr. bubblegum- "ubwbelbebrbeweb <3" doing flips in the background kdhfkhfsdkf - 🐺

GENSHIN SPOILERS

I mean, it's a possibility ! After all, genshin is supposed to go on for 7+ (10?) years, so any sorts of twists and turns are definitely probably down the line. There were also some leaks a few months ago that,,, kind of ? support this theory, if you squint.

But! Regarding what you said about her reaching for the gnosis, I'm afraid that's not quite possible, since it later gets revealed that it was with Yae, and then later traded to Scaramouche.

But yes!! I deffo do think it's plausible (maybe even possible, if more evidence surfaces over time and with more lore reveals) that she could have dodged a hit. It would be interesting to have that kind of twist to the story, but I do kind of agree that it,,, does put a damper on the Shogun's strong image ? Idk and I feel like some people might consider it a 'cheap' twist, espescially considering the heaviness that befell the traveller (maybe guilt ?? idk, that's how i personally interpret it) during that sort of slow, dark walk out of Tenshukaku. Not to mention how I think that seeing Signora die directly or indirectly because of the traveller's actions is something that I'm interested to see in the future, regarding on how this knowledge might change the travellers attitude towards others, if it'll push them to be more ruthless, or if it would make them a bit more hesitant to fight after they've seen a strong foe like Signora die because of losing the duel to them.

And in a way,,, i don't know, and this is kind of opinionated, but I feel like killing Signora then reviving her would,,, be somewhat unsatisfying ? Because,,, it kinda feels like Genshin is going down a slightly different path now. It's grown a bit heavier and darker with the occurrence of its first on-screen death (and major off-screen death w/ Teppei) and i feel like turning around in the future and saying 'oh! actually this character isn't dead' feels too much like a 'take-back' or like they're backing out of that darker theme, which feels a bit unsatisfactory given that he archon quest has begun to push that sort of narrative, and it's an interesting route to go, considering we've seen the heaviness that meeting their sibling that has (presumably) pushed the sibling into being more direct in wanting to complete their mission (in how, at first, they just wanted to see the shogun, and not get wrapped up in the whole resistance thing) and how angry they got when Teppei died. Personally, 'taking back' something as big as the first character who the traveller is indirectly/directly responsible for killing feels,,, very much like they're just pandering to younger audiences, and i feel like it would be a cheap twist or a disservice to the heaviness that befell the traveller after the fight itself.

but idk thats just my opinion lmao,, wanting her to revive is valid too!! And i deffo agree that is was sooo refreshing to see a villain that was,,, wel, a villain. One without any highlighted redeeming qualities. One that's just bad. It was nice hahha

ALSO PLS THE SEELIE ASKJDN I love the name you've given him HAHAHA <33 also !! hope u enjoyed the lore dive, if you've done it. I mostly stick to the wiki instead of the game, since like you can open links in the paragraph instead of having to rifle through all the stuff in the game HAHHA

[creek-cryptid-deluxe]

I was reminded earlier today (unintentionally) that I've not posted anything about my indoor plant babies in a WHILE.

Let's remedy that!

First up is Draco, the dracaena. He seems fine. He doesn't really show much change outside of his leaves going brown when he is displeased. I may look into seeing if I'm doing something wrong or if he's just a slow guy.

Then is The Morrigan, a cluster of monstera deliciosa. That sisterhood seems to be doing quite well. They've even got some new growth going on.

Mr. Wednesday, one of my prayer plants, is flourishing. If you remember, I split Mr. Wednesday into 3 in the fall. But he's already pretty massive again. I may need to divide him near the end of the season.

Adelaide, my monstera adansonii clipping that I rooted, is doing better than she ever has up to this point. She's gotten some new growth, which makes me *hope* she was just being slow because of the seasons....? Those top most 3 leaves have shown up in the last 2 months.

Violet Beauregarde, the African violet I got a year ago, is bigger than ever. She hasn't produced blooms since the ones she came with wilted, but the plant is definitely healthy. She gets new leaves, making her grow more round like her namesake, daily.

Lady Hiss, 1/4 of her anyway, is still being tall & gorgeous. Luna, my moonlight philodendron, got a new leaf a few days ago for the first time since she moved in, so we will see how things with her shake out this season.

Ponyta, the ponytail palm (pictured with Carl, who I will explain) seems...ok? Idk. She's hard to read.

Carl was an antelope statue with 2 massive hot pink horns. I got him when The Spawn was... 11? 12? She named him Carl after the Llama's With Hats character & whenever something went wrong in the house, we would go over to him & say "Caaarrrrrl..." then follow it up with asking why he did whatever it was that happened, in the same voice as his fellow llama from the cartoon. But when his antlers broke off, we gave him a mustache in the hope of making him feel better about it.

Mr. Nancy, my other prayer plant (who came from the splitting of Mr. Wednesday), is also flourishing as when I potted him he was only about 5 stems with leaves.

Next to him is Khoshekh Gershwin-Palmer, a baby rubber plant, who has gotten some new growth over the last month, too.

Mr. Slithers hasn't really grown but maybe spring will change that.

Jonathan has DEFINITELY come a long way. My brother & sister in law gifted Jonathan to me Christmas of 2019. He's significantly larger & taller. I don't think he needs a new pot just yet, though.

Aaaaand I'm @ my picture limit, so I will reblog to add the rest.