#Lgbtq fatphobia

[kainekillinggod]

ok but racism and fatphobia in the queer community is crazy btw. Like sometime you gotta ask,

Are they butch/masc or are they a poc? Are they fem or are they white? Are they androgynous or are they skinny? Is their hair style choice non conforming or is it just not straight/fluffy? Honestly sometimes I see some strange things being said up in here, and irl too. I just. Idk mann

[sapphic-sprite]

fat lesbians are so perfect please screw off if you think otherwise

[fatphobiabusters]

I'm queer myself but am not really in too many masc circles, so pardon me if this impression is wrong. I've always gotten this vibe from how people act on here that bears in the queer community are usually viewed as tops, like they're inherently dominant and the protector/carer for their partner. Whereas how people talk about twinks has always made it sound like twinks are inherently submissive bottoms, the little spoon to a bear's big spoon, the one who gets to be protected and cared for by their partner. And I have to say, I don't think it's a coincidence that twinks, an identity that supposedly only thin people are allowed to have, get to be the queer community's submissive little spoon while fat men are pigeonholed to the single role of "Masculine, big, dominant top." Over and over again, I see the queer community pressure and force fat people into that type of role. A fat person of any gender being feminine or submissive? Preposterous! People even do this for queer ships in fandoms. Bigger than your partner? Please step into the "Giant teddy bear whose only purpose is to meet the needs of your smaller and thus more innocent partner" line. Like feminine, fat, queer men are even used as a homophobic stereotype and the butt of jokes. Can we stop doing this?

-Mod Worthy

[intersexfairy]

fatness itself can be a focal point for gender dysphoria and i dont think people talk about that enough. fat bodies are caught in this limbo where their fatness and traits are viewed as masculine, feminine, or androgynous depending on a frustrating amount of factors. to the point that the only way to be seen as doing gender right is to perform masculinity or femininity to the max.

so you're pretty much fucked if you cant or wont do that. especially if you're aiming for androgyny or neutrality, because society's idea of that only exists for skinny people. it's not fair. we of course don't have to hold ourselves to unattainable standards but it would be really great if it were possible to express androgyny or neutrality as a fat person and have it received as such (without it being fatphobic). fuck fatphobia and gender roles so hard.

[gray-ace-space]

the other day i got a hate ask aimed at mspec lesbians. i blocked it without fully reading it, but i think it merits a mention that, of what i glimpsed, it was mostly just blatant fatphobia. and it made me think about how, when i see an aphobic comment, 9 times out of 10 it's left by a terf.

though they may hide behind wanting to protect some marginalized groups, exclusionists are never actually progressive. it's all just the same bigots every time.

anyway here are some reminders to the rest of you

[notastupidurl]

Promoting this again! We have surpassed our goal (thank you all so much!) and now we're trying to get at least 20 more participants. Every participant will be entered in a raffle to win one of 10 $50 Amazon gift cards!

https://alvernia.co1.qualtrics.com/jfe/form/SV_2m19korI5kKlTU2

——————————————————————————

Blurb from the original post:

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Your participation would be greatly appreciated and crucial, as it would provide invaluable insights into transgender identity development, weight bias and stigma, and their impact on mental health.

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[transtalesofdoom]

The Egg Years and being Cis-Adjacent

I originally made this blog to talk about my new and exciting trans experience, so let's go do that. Long post, obviously and I just figured out how to do the Keep Reading thing

I didn't have any inherent dysphoria growing up, I was just a bit of a not-like-other-girls tomboy. Jeans were comfier than dresses, boobs and bras were sooo inconvenient, make up just meant more effort. Books and video games were more fun than going out to party. I wasn't good at dancing anyway. And don't even get me started on shaving your legs.

It became obvious to me that I wasn't strictly cis pretty much as soon as I learned that gender wasn't binary. It was common sense, really. If gender is a spectrum, very few people would actually find themselves on the very end of either side. So most people were just close enough to either end of the spectrum to consider themselves cis. Including myself.

As my understanding of gender grew, it became more and more ridiculous to assume anyone was 100% cis. There's always some criterion you don't fully meet. Of course, people could still use and identify with the label of cis, clearly there was some sort of leeway. But calling myself cis started to feel wrong. It felt like I was ignoring the very nature of gender as a vast spectrum by picking a label rooted in the binary. I was cis, but in a queer way. I started calling myself cis-adjacent when talking to other queer people.

I never had a "problem" with my assigned gender at birth, outside of the patriarchy and sexism and periods, but those weren't trans reasons to resent being a woman. Being a woman suited me well enough. I wouldn't have cared if I wasn't, if I woke up one day without boobs, I'd just go on and fit into shirts much more easily. I considered "gender-apathetic" as a label, but ultimately it felt like too much hassle for something I was indifferent about.

Really, that was what it came down to. I was close enough to being cis, I didn't have any internal problems with calling myself a woman or living as one. Sure, there probably was something more accurate for me out there, but I knew about the struggles trans people faced. A good friend of mine had come out as trans and started his transition. I was happy for him, but I also got to see the difficulties it brought to update paperwork and book appointments and constantly emailing professors about your new name and pronouns. Not to mention the whole coming out to family thing. Or transphobia. There wasn't enough suffering in me to submit myself to this much effort and misery. Or force everyone in my life to learn a new set of pronouns and name for me, irrevocably changing every single relationship I had in the process. I didn't even want to be a man anyway. Just look a little more like one.

And I could easily present pretty masculine without transitioning. I only wore pants anyway. And hoodies were super comfy. I cut my hair short more than once. I considered buying a binder, just to see what that would do for me, but every time I tried looking into it, I just got overwhelmed and, like I said, there wasn't enough suffering to justify spending 50 bucks and at least one extensive research session on it. Ironically enough, during my last year as cis-adjacent, I finally reconnected with a part of my femininity and wore dresses to special occasions again.

However, a new problem had found my body: The unstoppable passage of time. I wasn't a perky teenager anymore. My body gained weight, my boobs succumbed to gravity, and I had very little in common with what was considered a beautiful woman. Even a beautiful butch woman didn't look like me. No one beautiful looked like me, really. I told myself that I had a lot of internalized misogyny and fatphobia to unlearn. That the reason I started disliking my reflection was social conditioning. I was right about that, of course. But there was more to it that I, in my self-righteous blaming of society, didn't acknowledge.

Until the last full moon night of 2023, when my mirror reflected a ghost back at me.

[ratunderneathahat]

I am taking the words "human rights violation" away from some people and will give it back when they figure out how to use it. No, seeing someone with sh cuts (no matter how fresh) is not a human rights violation, it's someone with mental health issues existing. No, seeing fat people in swimwear, crop tops, or any sort of clothing that shows skin is not a human rights violation, it's fat people existing. No, the possibility of seeing a 14 year olds opinion while scrolling through tiktok isn't a human rights violation, it's children and teenagers having opinions. No, seeing same sex couples kissing in public is not a human rights violation, it's the LGBTQIA+ community existing. No, seeing a dark/comship while scrolling or looking through things is not a human rights violation, its art that you're not the target audience of. No, dealing with a child being annoying in public is not a human rights violation, it's letting a small human with less experience and knowledge figure out the world and process emotions and letting already stressed and tired parents help their child without the added stress of being judged or told to shut up.

[sirenium]

I'm so fucking frustrated that every time I look up stuff like 'plus sized top surgery' on google I still get skinny twinks shoved down my throat and making me feel worse about my results that don't fucking look like that (shocker: fat person has different results!). I'm trying to see if a revision will actually help or if I'm just stuck with what I have because of my body type, and I can't fucking do that because suddenly fat transmascs don't exist! fucking christ give me a break

[gnometa233]

A lot of self proclaimed genderfuck dykefags on tumblr dot com think they can abolish gender without first abolishing racism, fatphobia, and misogyny and it shows

[trans-yaoi]

I'm so tired of the double standards for twinks actually. oh twink so cute and snuggly but the INSTANT that the twink is fat or a poc they're “not that much of a twink” and “Basically a bear”. fuck all the way offff

[crazycatsiren]

There is no wrong way to have a body!

[smashing-yng-man]

[fatphobiabusters]

Fat queer people should not have to pay extra for the "luxury" of showing their pride with pride merchandise and buying clothes that match their gender identity. That pride t-shirt you're charging only some of your fellow queers extra for is worthless. If inequality is inherent in its selling, then the "equality" the shirt spouts is nothing but hypocrisy.

-Mod Worthy

[intersexfairy]

being androgynous but not in the idealized way is a trip... i wish people with a bunch of strongly gendered traits from both sides of the binary got more love. like. we can't all be skinny, hairless, flat-chested, etc., and nor should we all be. all forms of androgyny deserve celebrating...

[aptericia]

while I'm thinking about it bc of that last reblog...

I love you Octopath but would it kill you to be normal about fatness? Do you really have to have the most prominent fat characters (Giff, La'mani, and Mother) not only be chapter bosses but also among the most selfish and un-nuanced of them? And the one fat character who isn't evil (Pom) is obsessed with food? Really?