#LEAVE THE FUCKING DOG AT HOME
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still thinking about the guy who brought in a “service dog” to the museum today, asked for towels after his dog shit on the floor, and then when — obviously — asked to leave, said “how do you know it was MY dog?”
girl if it wasn’t the dog it was you
#he literally had to be physically escorted out of the building he threw such a fit#like my dude it is so obviously not a service animal#it’s literally jumping on people#and it POOPED IN THE LOBBY. IN FRONT OF US#LEAVE THE FUCKING DOG AT HOME#busy beez
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That fic from Akutagawa's pov that remarked how although Dazai had left a bomb under Chuuya's car, at least that showed he had thought about him before going, while he never cared enough to spare a thought for Akutagawa.
#I think about it a lot... Something something the opposite of love isn't hatred but indifference#I can imagine Akutagawa and Chuuya fighting over Dazai when he left#“AT LEAST HE THOUGHT ABOUT YOU!” “HIS THINKING ABOUT ME WAS A FUCKING ATTEMPT TO MURDER ME AKUTAGAWA!”#...#It was supposed to be funny it shouldn't hurt me as much as it does.........#Trust me chuu/aku angst actually hits the hardest and you will never see it coming.#Because it’s not the kind of angst of “oh no my boyfriend has been beheaded by this magic sword that cuts through space and time ://”.#Chuu/aku angst hits right close to home when you least expect it and it’s so real in its inherent humanity it leaves you defenseless#ryūnosuke akutagawa#osamu dazai#chūya nakahara#bsd#bungou stray dogs#mine#q.#23/11/22#I'm sorry I don't remember the fic of course I'll add the link if I find it again#It's just that sometimes you will read something in a fic and go “oh my God” and it feels like you've been run over by a bus#And other times you read a fic and it seems like nothing happened–#and then two years after you realize you're still thinking about that tidbit of lore and you'll be like “oh... oh.”#Like fics that rewrite your entire belief system without you even noticing for real
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Girl, get your messy ass up, you did not just run off and die to fucking geckos!!
#ive just started this fucking game and ive alreadt had 5 frozen screens and a crash when i approached Easy Pete!!!#man really didnt want me talking to him that he sent me back to the home screen.#then this girl is supposed to be teaching me a few things to survive and runs off ahead leaving me with her dog!#and when i finally catch up i find her dead ass like girl be fucking for real right now 😭#i havent even left Goodspring yet and already getting issues#i won my first ever game in Caravan tho lol#fallout gameplay#fallout nv#fallout new vegas#fnv#fnv gameplay
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only bad thing about being in a fandom where one of the characters canonically has wings is the painful lack of classic wingfic. where is my everything's the same but people have bird wings watford au where one day baz notices simon hasn't been grooming his wings bc of an injury to his ribs so he sits on his bed and makes a whole fuss about how "i'm not doing this to be nice, snow, your wings are just a travesty to look at" and then proceeds to carefully and lovingly tidy his feathers in drawn out silence while they both pretend grooming someone else's wings isn't one of the most intimate things you can do for another person. will this heartbreak never end
#i have an old wingfic that never left the zero draft stage and it was suuuper fucking plotty#simon was still the chosen one in it but not in a weird sex magic kinda way like he was just home grown like that so no humdrum#so lucy is alive and he grew up with her and the mage (and they have a dog!) (simon named her ''little simon'' lmfao)#meanwhile baz isn't a vampire but natasha still died when he was five bc ok i don't know how to explain the lore behind this#bc it has to do with a skeevy blackmarket trade involving human wings like it was kinda dark ngl#but the long and short of it is that baz and tasha are kidnapped and tasha is killed keeping baz safe but baz's wings are damaged#pretty severely and so one of them never grows to full size and it leaves him flightless#n e way simon and baz don't get on bc the mage is still the mage and the old families are still the old families#but they are roommates as usual#and half-term their eighth year pitch manor is raided by blackmarket poachers and mordelia is kidnapped and the whole grimm family is#in shambles so baz goes right to simon about it and there's this reverse of the simon-showing-up-at-baz's-door scene#where baz shows up at simon's door a complete WRECK to ask for help getting his sister back#and simon is like. why are you asking ME for help?#and baz is like. bc you're the only one i know who can#and then they fucking steal one of the mage's cars and hit the road [so good right now by fall out boy starts playing]#and then it's just kind of a normal mission fic about them finding mordelia and saving her life and baz falls out a very high window#and simon catches him etc.#i love wingfics so much#sighs wistfully#i think i need to be alone w my gdocu for while#valen and the void
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Anyways the Winters family dog will always be a service dog to me,,, sources? Absolutely none, but it would make so much sense. I mean the torment Ashe has definitely gone through mentally and physically since her moms death, a service dog would be absolutely perfect for her and Mark both
#The consist amount of panic attacks and flash back eps she’s probably had since it happened#not to mention the definite episodes marks had to have had aswell#plus if your a big chronic pain Ashe truther like me#Mark may not be a good dad but he does love her#he wouldn’t want to just leave her home alone for ridiculous stretches of time with nothing there to help her#and sure that could mean just getting the dog but I feel like he’d take it the step farther to make sure it was a service dog#he may not have a goddamn clue what he’s doing but I’ll be damned if he isn’t at least trying to help Ashe thru the isolation#and fucking mental decline that poor girls def been in since she was like 8#jrwi#jrwi pd#prime defenders#ashe winters#mark winters
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I'M A FAILURE I'M A FAILURE I'M A FAILURE I'M A FAILURE I'M A FAILURE I'M A FAILURE I'M A FAILURE I'M A FAILURE I'M A FAILURE I'M A FAILURE I'M A FAILURE I'M A FAILURE I'M A FAILURE I'M A FAILURE I'M A FAILURE I'M A FAILURE I'M A FAILURE I'M A FAILURE I'M A FAILURE I'M A FAILURE I'M A FAILURE I'M A FAILURE I'M A FAILURE I'M A FAILURE I'M A FAILURE I'M A FAILURE I'M A FAILURE I'M A FAILURE I'M A FAILURE I'M A FAILURE I'M A FAILURE I'M A FAILURE I'M A FAILURE I'M A FAILURE I'M A FAILURE I'M A FAILURE I'M A FAILURE I'M A FAILURE I'M A FAILURE I'M A FAILURE I'M A FAILURE I'M A FAILURE I'M A FAILURE I'M A FAILURE I'M A FAILURE I'M A FAILURE I'M A FAILURE I'M A FAILURE I'M A FAILURE I'M A FAILURE I'M A FAILURE I'M A FAILURE I'M A FAILURE I'M A FAILURE I'M A FAILURE I'M A FAILURE I'M A FAILURE I'M A FAILURE I'M A FAILURE I'M A FAILURE I'M A FAILURE I'M A FAILURE I'M A FAILURE I'M A FAILURE I'M A FAILURE I'M A FAILURE I'M A FAILURE I'M A FAILURE I'M A FAILURE I'M A FAILURE I'M A FAILURE I'M A FAILURE I'M A FAILURE I'M A FAILURE I'M A FAILURE I'M A FAILURE I'M A FAILURE I'M A FAILURE I'M A FAILURE I'M A FAILURE I'M A FAILURE I'M A FAILURE I'M A FAILURE I'M A FAILURE I'M A FAILURE I'M A FAILURE I'M A FAILURE I'M A FAILURE I'M A FAILURE I'M A FAILURE I'M A FAILURE I'M A FAILURE I'M A FAILURE I'M A FAILURE I'M A FAILURE I'M A FAILURE I'M A FAILURE I'M A FAILURE I'M A FAILURE I'M A FAILURE I'M A FAILURE I'M A FAILURE I'M A FAILURE I'M A FAILURE I'M A FAILURE I'M A FAILURE I'M A FAILURE I'M A FAILURE I'M A FAILURE I'M A FAILURE I'M A FAILURE I'M A FAILURE I'M A FAILURE I'M A FAILURE I'M A FAILURE I'M A FAILURE I'M A FAILURE I'M A FAILURE I'M A FAILURE I'M A FAILURE I'M A FAILURE I'M A FAILURE I'M A FAILURE I'M A FAILURE I'M A FAILURE I'M A FAILURE I'M A FAILURE I'M A FAILURE I'M A FAILURE I'M A FAILURE I'M A FAILURE I'M A FAILURE I'M A FAILURE I'M A FAILURE I'M A FAILURE I'M A FAILURE I'M A FAILURE I'M A FAILURE I'M A FAILURE I'M A FAILURE I'M A FAILURE I'M A FAILURE I'M A FAILURE I'M A FAILURE I'M A FAILURE I'M A FAILURE I'M A FAILURE I'M A FAILURE I'M A FAILURE I'M A FAILURE I'M A FAILURE I'M A FAILURE I'M A FAILURE I'M A FAILURE I'M A FAILURE I'M A FAILURE I'M A FAILURE I'M A FAILURE I'M A FAILURE I'M A FAILURE I'M A FAILURE I'M A FAILURE I'M A FAILURE I'M A FAILURE I'M A FAILURE I'M A FAILURE I'M A FAILURE I'M A FAILURE I'M A FAILURE I'M A FAILURE
#all caps#vent#vent post#venting#text post#failure#fear of failure#low self worth#mental illness#<< admin tags#IM A FAILURE IM A FAILURE IM A FAILURE#I NEVER AMOUNTED TO ANYTHING#I CRUSHED MY FAMILYS DREAMS OF FINANCIAL SECURITY WITH MY SELFISHNESS#I THREW AWAY RELATIONSHIPS I CHERISHED JUST BECAUSE I WAS FUCKING SAD#I WORRY EVERY DAY IS THE DAY MY HUSBAND LEAVES ME#I STILL DONT HAVE KIDS OR A HOUSE OR EVEN A FUCKING DOG#I NEVER WENT TO GRAD SCHOOL#IM TOO SICK TO HAVE HOBBIES OUTSIDE MY OWN HOME#I CAN'T EVEN MAINTAIN MY HOME#THE ONLY THING I WAS EVER GOOD FOR WAS MY BRAINS BUT I LOST THEM#I HAVENT CREATED ANYTHING BEAUTIFUL OR PROFOUND OR WORTHWHILE#I HAVENT MADE BANK#I HAVENT DONE ANYTHING TO MEDICALLY TRANSITION#IVE NEVER KISSED A GIRL#I STILL CANT AFFORD TO VISIT MY NEPHEW#I STILL BARELY KNOW MY SISTER#I HATE IT HERE I HATE IT HERE I HATE IT HERE#SOMEONE LET ME OUT OF MY OWN HEAD I CANT TAKE IT ANYMORE
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I counted all the dogs and cats and it's 9 dogs and 7 cats plus the new kitten 😩
#chloe shush#of course 2-3 of the cats are having issues and like 3 dogs are dog aggressive#on top of literally everything else I have to worry about like the bath leaking badly 😭#I had to do the baths in the kennel because of it#and then the trash lock is jammed so like? guess i just ....fuck myself about it or something until my coworker comes in tomorrow#oh AND i checked the reservations. guess who's coming in AGAIN on monday??#the screaming fucking frenchies. why? literally why#and I can't even escape them after monday because i ALSO FUCKING WORK TUESDAY 😭😭😭😭#This is the first time I've ever worked 6 days in a row im basically at the clinic more than I'm at home 😩😔#I was lucky enough to leave at 11 yesterday but then we came back at 4:30 and stayed till 6:30 and i had to come AGAIN#at around 7 pm because UGhhhhh
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do you have any pets in your life (don't have to be yours i just wanna see aminals..) :0
hi jack :) can you watch this while i go smoke
#ask#raidendotcom#jack im so sorry i wanted to send like 9 images of possums i have saved to my phone and i was SO tempted to do so#but this specific one in particular..........#i dont have any pets though.... :(#my last pet was a cat we had named Fatso (we didnt name him that. it was the name he had when we got him)#but we had to give him to another family. im sure hes doing just fine today :)#before him we had a guinea pig named Munchy that i took home from the woman who'd cut my hair#the first animal i thought was our pet was a golden retriever named Rusty#he was actually my uncles dog (he lives close by) and hed always hang around our house and we also kept dog treats that my brothers ate#he was a golden retriever - poodle mix. but the only poodle part of him was his ears. he had curly fur on just his ears :)#we have a photo somewhere of Rusty and me with my aunt playing in some leaves#shoutout to Rusty... fucking loved that dog even if my perception of who owned him wasnt correct as a 3-5 year old...#also yes i remember a memory of being on my front porch and my brothers were eating dog treats out of the box#i feel like they were scooby doo branded or something.#it was between the years of 2001-2003#i also have a memory of them just throwing some CDs around outside like frisbees#like i remember broken disc bits in our front yard#i also remember drawing treasure maps a lot and me and my middle brother would light the edges on fire to make it look authentic#i also remember putting rocks in the airhole to the tornado shelter we had in our front yard#listen the doors to it were big logs so we werent in need of using it any time soon. plus tornadoes dont occur around here#its still there. but ive never been inside it so i have no clue what the inside looks like#its just a hill with two doors aimed 70 degrees towards the sky. and theres an airhole hidden at the top of the hill#or it was an airhole until i shoved some rocks in it#🤗✨ oh well#anyway thank you raaiden for the ask :)#sorry i was too committed to the bit to send more opossums :( i hope you can forgive me :) >:)
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#i was supposed to have a package delivered today but the fucking landlord or whatever signed for it#instead of letting the delivery person drop it off at my house#so now i have to wait for them to be at their office to go and pick up the package but they’re not fucking there#i passed when i got home and i went back again with my dog to see if they were there and NOTHING#i’m so fucking pissed off just let them leave the package in my house???
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If you don't leave your house unless forced because you feel so guilty about leaving your dog home alone that it regularly makes you break down crying can you really say you have a guilt complex
#hi my name is Sage and i have a Problem™️#websites say to never leave your dog home alone for more than 4 hours#but i have go be gone for 9 hours 3 days a week for work!!!#and she has separation anxiety so she trembles when she realizes i'm abt to leave!#so how am i supposed to leave during other times? i do on special occasions but otherwise i can't!#i feel too fucking guilty!#i am literally in tears rn bc i feel like i have failed her and her life is worse bc i'm the one who adopted her#when i'm a single woman with a full time job who has limited WFH#this is why i need therapy but can't get it bc no one is accepting new clients! fuck!!!#anyway#i'm gonna go drown myself in my tears now#be back later
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i used to never consider myself someone who got angry easily but lately everything pisses me the fuck off. im so stressed and it feels like everyone wants everything from me will you all just fucking leave me alone
#my neck hurts i slept on it wrong and its giving me such a bad headache and i was at work for longer than i expected#And stupid fucking rush hour traffic and i have class in less than an hour and i really need to shower beforehand like#just emotionally i need to and i hopw the hot water will help my neck and head#and i just fjnally got home and my mom js bugging me and the dog is screaming at me just LEAVE ME ALONE#brot posts
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Photo that looks like Yahar'gul on my dash, thinking about how Lev said ANVD is a land of the Sun because... as a sun spirit, the suns now. uh. I don't really want to get into it just yet because territorial animalistic feelings over what I create, but the sun I've decided to just allow to be my metaphorical paintbrush
Anyway. He said that and... My house is slowly turning more into this motif that's been echoing since I created a mindspace with lull when we thought we were a system, sort of? I always have houses now with courtyards in the middle of them, starting from there. Yahar'gul was also The Sunshine Village to us, in that we felt like it worshiped the Sun and the Sun was a huge part of it pre-Bloodborne's timeline... Which of course I now know has huge implications with regards to it being a mirror of the Drowned City and Lev, who I didn't know personally at the time, being a Sun god and all the complicated shit between the two of them... It was just sort of... I don't know. I don't know whether it's "ANVD was a part of me the whole time" or "I could've gone down, and was being brought down, a really bad nightmarish facsimile of the path I was supposed to be on". Maybe it's both, I feel like ANVD has been around since before it's creation in the way Lev says he knew me (Dei) before I was born (as Dei)... But anyway. It was kinda... I don't know the feeling I'm supposed to have here
Anyway. I was thinking about that
Lev was telling me about his study which I did actually remember talking to him about, I was half asleep but definitely awake.. He was sort of fixated on the sunlight in the room and you know. Yeah. Land of the Sun. It does hurt I think, the Sunshine Village I was convinced this life was my home, fake memories obscuring real ones.... And yet... Home is touchable. I knew I belonged to a place of sun's power I just never thought I'd get back in my feet and be allowed to be a sky god again, I thought I'd always be stuck down here
#Sad. Poignant. I don't know. It's something#But I don't know if I'm mourning a self that theoretically went down the wrong path or I'm just experiencing emotions i#hadn't been able to feel for years. Probably the latter in that yeah. I always took his word that I was the bad guy#And I tried to leave and probably shouldve understood that someone saying I'm abusive and then chasing me when I say#sorry ill leave you alone so I can't hurt you... chasing and refusing to let me leave. Huh. Anyway. Not even a case of some people know#who Black is therefore I shouldn't be rambling I mean he's open about the whole I Get It thing but like. Theres so much....#So much I - Dei. All the incarnations - never got time to process I think. I don't think any of us - not even just lives of Black -#have been able to process for many lives now. I'm looking out at ANVD proper and it's like... I can breathe. I have a home#Im looking at the sunlight and it's just shining. There's no chase to it. There's no dark cloud of lulls - a god in his own right though#undeservedly - shadowing all our actions and fate and energies and moments. Lull and everyone else. There's no....#There's just sunlight. There's just a study far above the world and sunlight and we didn't get this peace by warding the fuck#out of a single space a single room please give us space to take a break before we get thrown back in style#This is just.......... It just Is now#ramblings //#Black and I sitting resting at the top of the world - and finally not having to cut ourselves off from the bottom while we sit here#We can sip tea and still be connected to everything. There's no rabid feral dogs nipping at our throats. There's no constant competition#Wahoo. Yippee.#astral diary //#Diary //
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i am too mentally exhausted to even deal with this shit anymore with my mom and grandma and low key wish i'd go comatose for a few years to be left alone tbh
#had a clean up service come by to see the damage and give a quote on the estimate and my grandma wasnt having it#she got upset and started crying to them about she has only 1 daughter and is trying to help her and they're trying to tell her that keepin#all that junk isn't gonna be helping anyone especially my mom but she wasn't getting it and i said i'm not helping clean the junk that's#all around the house cuz i'm tired of it all and having to manage my emotions since i am for sure emtotionally stunted from my childhood#and have to deal with a schitzophrenic mom and an absent sister who's balls deep in denial while i'm struggling to find a job here#and my grandma always stressing me ot saying she's gonna kick me out isn't fucking helping here at all like she thinks it does#so when they left she spent all day sobbing on the phone how i'm a terrible granddaughter who wants to throw out good stuff#when i'm not gonna keep helping sell shit for my mom cuz my sister can do it as her family contribution since she did nothing since dad die#and the thing is i gave them all options on clearing shit out cuz i know this family by now and shit doesn't get tossed but it migrates#cuz i said months ago i can ask some friends if they could come down and help sort and declutter#grandma said no to that and said she'll kick me out if i do it and she didn't want to pay for my mom's shit to get moved into a storage uni#she leaves the clean up to my mom and i think the backyard got worse but she didn't call anyone to throw out the junk like she threatened t#so i call a fucking hoarders clean up service cuz that's what my family is on my mom's side at this point and the city will be called too#and she has this reaction cries all day and calls everyone to say i'm horrible and yells at me saying i'm the one killing her with stress#when she's already been doing that for months to herself when i'm just tired and possibly mildly depressed or something idk#i barely leave my room and don't go outside except to walk my dog but idk cuz my family's attittude was we don't go to doctors cuz#cuz they're for crazy people but of course it's gotta switch up for my mom and no one else and i'm just sick of it all#grandma doesn't accept free help and she won't accept help that i pay for myself with my money set aside for school so i'm done#unlike her when i say i'll do something i stick to it so i'm not doing shit anymore unless i can call a friend to help with this mess#it's gonna sound like such a horrible thing but i can't wait for my family to die so i can live in a clean home again and get help#like deep serious help cleaning and big time grief councelling cuz i barely had time to process my dad's death and being the one to find hi#and that was just this february like god i am going to need so much fucking therapy in my future it's almost rediculous#and probably say screw my mom's side and visit my dad's side a lot more since they seem to be the normal ones in this shit family tree#at least they're not stupid and leave junk everywhere where one neighbour getting sick of not being able to sit outside and enjoy their yar#without mountains of junk staring them right in the face and landing a notice from the city to clean up especially since#we have chainlink fences and at least 7 neighbours can see the backyard and everyone can see the front porch when passing by#i'm just tired of living in these suffocating households and even wanna file a report myself to kick them into gear#its horrible living like this and no one should live surrounded by junk and things they never use or even garbage
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My parents like to do this thing where they invite me over, don't specify a specific time, don't text until the time they expect me to be there, and then ask why I got there late.
I'm not gonna let it get to me today but it still sucks.
#personal#me: don't get mad at me if you don't specify a time and then i don't show up when you want me to#dad: don't put this on me#of course he'd been drinking#they don't wait for me#he's the one who suggested dinner and then they ate before i got there#i got there at 6:30 btw.#it's not like they said come for dinner and i showed up at 8#i want my mom but she's the reason i want my mom#like it was decent this time and we're qll getting better#but she doesn't come in to see me or eat anything with me and then when i leave she says she barely saw me#I've been here!#i was eating in the kitchen!#where i usually eat!#okay so it's getting to me a little.#took some of it home#dad: invites me for dinner#also dad: did you come over to raid the fridge?#family really is a sour sweet commercial#like how was i ever expected to have normal relationships when this is what I'm used to#I'm trying to be better with my dog because my patience can run out real quick and I'm like COME ON#I try to take a deep breath and remember that she waits on me for like half her life#the puppy is getting bigger and more energetic and I'm like “if he keeps doing that she's going to get worse” (dog reactive)#mom: she's fine#she is getting better but her tail was tucked and she told him off because he got in her face#he does NOT understand the concept of another dog not wanting to play#it's going okay. we're mostly keeping them separated.#my parents just don't take my concerns seriously for some fucking reason
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Last time I'll see him tomorrow as I move jobs next week
Also saw my rue girl for the last time Monday broke my heart I'll actually miss these dogs so much. I hope they find their perfect home soon
#like#this is why i need to leave#because i love them so much#and they really form a beautiful bond with you#and i can't trust people to find the right homes before the dog gets returned#it's better i don't know about them#because my heart has taken too much being in this job#now give me the needles and blood back because at least there's a higher chance of predicting that will go to plan ok#ok#fuck this job has wrecked me#its honestly not the dogs its the fucking politics of the job#a dog got hit by a car from an experienced behaviour staff yesterday that's been in the job 3 years#honeslty#the dog is fine but cmon mate seriously#you're meant to be a senior in your role and you can't be street smart#fucking hell it's dog training it's not hard to predict hazards#what the actual fuck thank ful I'm leaving
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listening to ep 61 death of a salesman and i want to kill willy stampler once again! i want this bitch maimed! kill this motherfucker and make him never come back!
"i just want you to know, it's your fault for not being good enough."
get fucked you piece of shit. i hope your step step great granddaughter and her friends beat the absolute shit out of u
#i know he make ls taylor's mom happy but i want to Bite#''i'm gonna teach my 6yo to swim by making him jump off the high dive and almost drown''#''i'm gonna leave my child home practically alone to make dinner and blame him when the house almost burns down''#''i'm gonna cheat on my chronically ill (ig) wife and almost kill our child''#''gonna make my kid think i'm finally giving a shit about him and try to murder him''#i know he's giving scary her powers (probably. i think there's still 1 degree of maybe) but i want her to Kill#her or Taylor#also rogue was the best dog and i fucking cry everytime during that scene#dndads#willy stampler#dungeons and daddies
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