#LAUREN. 26. SHE / HER

[americanedpsycho]

an independent and private portrayal of PATRICK BATEMAN  from  AMERICAN PSYCHO. mature and usfw themes will be explored.

I SIMPLY AM NOT THERE.

credits.

[goldfades]

★ YOU AND ME, WE'D BE A BIG CONVERSATION─── PB⁵ (part 1/3)

❪ requested -> "paige x famous!reader (singer, actress, up to u) inspired by endgame by ts where p reveals that r is her celeb crush in an interview and a few days later theres a vid of r responding to it saying shes been obsessed w paige lately / its such a big deal bc r has been involved in a lot of romantic drama lately so everyone is kinda iffy abt her rn, causing her to put up a tough guard. but p sees thru the facade when they start talking and allows her to be herself, making r fall even harder 🥹 " ❫ for my disco nonnie!

─ warnings | gossip, a lot of drama and random ass names (sorry i get confused when i don't name them), mention of panic attacks, hurt to comfort, pretty sure nothing else?

⇨ missing out on updates? check out my wcbb masterlist!

"Y/N L/N, ONE OF the biggest names right now in the music industry has found herself at the center of yet another romantic scandal involving her ex and now, reportedly a new lover."

The 22-year-old pop sensation, who recently topped the charts with her latest single, was spotted last night leaving an upscale Los Angeles restaurant with actress and heartthrob, Camilla Harrison. The two were seen getting into the same car, sparking rumors of a budding romance.

This sighting comes just weeks after Y/N's highly publicized breakup with fellow musician Lauren Marie, with whom she had a tumultuous on-again, off-again relationship for over two years. The split was reportedly mutual, with both parties citing busy schedules and the pressures of their careers as contributing factors. However, sources close to the couple suggest that Marie was unhappy about Y/N's close friendship with Harrison, which began on the set of her recent music video where Marie made a cameo appearance.

"Y/N and Cam have undeniable chemistry," says an insider. "They've been spending a lot of time together, and it's more than just a professional connection. They're trying to keep things low-key, but it's clear there's something more than friendship between them."

Despite the drama, Y/N continues to thrive professionally. Her upcoming album set to release in the next couple month, is already generating significant buzz. Critics are calling it her most mature work yet, with deeply personal lyrics that reflect her recent experiences.

Meanwhile, Harrison, 26, known for her roles in blockbuster films and her good looks, has remained tight-lipped about the rumors. Her publicist declined to comment, stating that Marie is concentrating on her upcoming film projects.

──

"Okay, next question," the reporter smiled as she scrolled through her phone as Paige gave a tight-lipped smile toward the camera. "Oh! Found a good one, okay. Who is your celebrity crush right now."

"That's easy!" Paige laughed as she glanced toward the reporter. "Y/N L/N, she's beautiful and insanely talented,"

The room filled with laughter as the reporter raised an eyebrow, clearly delighted by the response. "Y/N L/N, huh? That's a popular choice these days, a lot of people are big fans. Have you met her?"

Paige shook her head, her cheeks slightly flushing. "Nah, I wish. But I'm a huge fan of her music. Every song is a masterpiece and I'm not usually into pop,"

"Interesting," the reporter leaned forward, intrigued. "You know, there are rumors about Y/N's love life all the time. How do you feel about all the speculation surrounding her personal life?"

Paige shrugged, maintaining her relaxed demeanor despite the stupid question. "I think it's tough being in the spotlight like that. People forget that celebrities are human too. Everyone deserves a bit of privacy, I'm more interested in her work and what she brings to the music industry rather than whoever she's dating."

The reporter nodded, appreciating Paige's perspective. "Absolutely. It's refreshing to hear someone focus on the artistry rather than the gossip!"

──

"Okay, quick. Who's your celeb crush right now, other than Cam," Bowen Yang, grinned at you, raising an eyebrow as the audience laughed, eagerly awaiting your response.

You laugh (and decide to ignore the comment about Cam), feeling a slight blush creep up your cheeks. "Oh, come on, Bowen, you can't put me on the spot like that!"

Bowen leaned in, his grin widening. "Come on, Y/N, the people want to know!" He pointed to the crowd as they cheered, causing you to put your face in yours hands.

You then take a deep breath, pretending to think hard. "Fine, if I have to choose... I'd say Paige Bueckers. She's incredible on the court, and I've seen some interviews with her ─ she seems like such a cool person."

The audience erupts with loud cheers, causing both you and Bowen to laugh. Bowen's eyes widen, clearly delighted by your answer as he clapped. "Ooh, scandalous! Paige Bueckers, I love that! Have you met her?"

You shake your head, smiling. "No, not yet. But I did see a clip of her saying some really nice things about me recently. It was super sweet."

Bowen's face lights up with excitement. "She was practically gushing over you, this is perfect, we need to make this happen. Maybe you could collab, I don't know how but uh, if anyone could make it happen, it's you."

"Thank you, I think?" You laugh, nodding. "Totally, we'll see what happens."

Bowen turns to the camera, his enthusiasm infectious. "You heard it here first, folks! Y/N and Paige Bueckers, the crossover we never knew we needed but now desperately want!"

The audience erupts in applause and cheers, and you can't help but smile at the idea. Bowen turns back to you, his tone shifting slightly more serious. "Alright, before we wrap up, I have to ask ─ how do you deal with all the attention and rumors about your personal life? It seems like you're constantly in the spotlight."

You take a moment to gather your thoughts, caught off guard by the serious question. "It's um, definitely challenging at times, but I try to focus on the positive aspects. I love making music and my fans. As for the rumors, I just remind myself that I can't control what people say or think. I stay true to myself and the people who really know me, and that's what matters most."

Bowen nods appreciatively. "Wise words, Y/N. And that's why we love you so. Thank you so much for being here tonight."

"Thank you for having me," you reply, genuinely touched by the support.

"And that's Y/N L/N!"

The crowd erupts in cheers as you genuinely smile, happy for the support, waving toward the audience.

──

"Hey everyone, welcome back to the podcast I'm Lila, and today we've got a lot to talk about. Y/N L/N is at the center of yet another romantic scandal, and there's even a new twist involving basketball star Paige Bueckers. Let's dive in!" Lila said, her enthusiasm palpable.

"Yaya, so excited," Maya chimed in, adjusting her headphones. "So, Y/N was spotted last night leaving an upscale LA restaurant with actress Cam Harrison. They got into the same car, which has everyone buzzing about a possible new romance."

"Yeah, and this is just weeks after her very public breakup with Lauren, I think that's her name? It's been a whirlwind, to say the least. But honestly, I think Y/N is handling it all pretty well. She's focused on her music, and she's just living her life. What's your take, My?" Lila asked, leaning in slightly.

Maya sighed, her skepticism evident. "I don't know, Lila. I get that she's young and living her life or whatever, but it feels like there's always some new drama with her. First Lauren, now Cam Harrison? It's starting to look like a pattern."

"But that's thing, with being in your early twenties. Figuring out what you want, who you want to be with? I mean, she's also incredibly talented and driven. Her new album is generating a ton of buzz and it hasn't even been released yet," Lila countered, her voice full of admiration.

"Sure, but it seems like she's always entangled in some romantic drama. Maybe it's just the nature of fame or whatever, but it can also come off as messy. And now, with Paige Bueckers gushing about her in that interview, it adds another layer. I just hope she’s not stringing people along," Maya replied, her tone annoyed.

Lila nodded, annoyed at Maya's words but maintaining her supportive stance. "I get where you're coming from, but did you see Paige's reaction? She was genuinely excited about Y/N. It was sweet. Plus, Y/N responded so positively on the SNL interview. I think it shows she's got a good heart and she's just navigating her way through a complicated life!"

Maya hesitated for a moment as she glanced at the camera, then continued. "I mean, look at Taylor Swift. She's known for her string of high-profile relationships and breakups, and it hasn't always been received positively. It feels like Y/N is heading down a similar path- What?"

"Come on, Maya!" Lila glared at her, clearly displeased. "Comparing Y/N to Taylor Swift isn't fair. Taylor's faced a lot of unfair criticism for just living her life and expressing herself through her music. Y/N is her own person, with her own journey. She's navigating her twenties in the spotlight, and that's not easy."

Maya just shrugged as she glanced toward the camera, before adjusting her mic. "Well that got awkward, moving on..."

──── COMMENTS

sela 🐾 | is she wrong though... love her music but why'd paige gotta get involved too? ♡ 108

↳ l/nslover | cause they like each other???

↳ 🦕 | has bro ever heard of a pr relationship 😭

↳ ari! | THEYRE NOT EVEN TOGETHER YET BROOO😭😭😭

sarah™️ | LILA GET THE HELL OUTTA THERE BROOOO 😭😭 i never liked maya tbh this is just a weird ass take ♡ 1.7k

kayla 🎀 | listen as a y/n girly i also understand maya's point of view cause.... shes kinda for the streets ♡ 879

↳ ™️ | dont call yourself a """"" y/n girly """""" if ur gonna say she's for the streets??? the fuck??

⭐️ | i was understanding maya's pov up until she started saying all that taylor swift bullshit, they're two separate artists LET US LIVEEEEEEE ♡ 2k

josie may | hardest watch of the day 🥲 maya u let us down with that dumb ass take

──

"I just kinda... wanna disappear for awhile," you confessed, your voice quiet as you pressed the phone to your ear. "Don't know why this keeps happening, you're the only that can... help me through it. Sorry if I woke you up-"

It happened again ─ over the last couple of months (ever since you'd broken up with Lauren) you'd gotten pretty severe panic attacks. You were told by everyone on your team to just stay off social media and what had you done... exactly the opposite of that.

"No, no, I was awake anyway, promise," Paige's voice echoed through the phone. You heard shuffling through the phone as you sniffled, sighing. "And I don't mind, like at all. I meant what I said, I'm always here for you,"

Your heart swelled as you managed a smile, as tears began to build in your eyes. You and Paige had only been talking a month and she already understood you more than anyone had in what felt like forever. Her steady presence was like an anchor in the storm of your life.

The constant media scrutiny and the aftermath of your breakup with Lauren had left you feeling alone, but Paige’s calming influence was slowly becoming your safe haven.

"I just... I don't know how to deal with all of it. The rumors, the pressure, it's all so overwhelming," you admitted, wiping away the tears that had started to fall. "Half of it, it isn't even true."

"Hey, it's okay, I know, I believe you," Paige's voice was soothing, almost like a warm embrace over the phone. Even the smallest affirmation from Paige made you feel all okay again, even if it was just for the moment.

"You're not alone in this. We can figure it out together, step by step."

That part made your lips twitch up in a smile, feeling yourself relax again. You took a deep breath, feeling a bit of the tension ease from your shoulders. "I just feel like I can't breathe sometimes. Like the walls are closing in, y'know?"

"I get it," Paige replied softly. She'd know about it all too well, she'd been through it herself plenty of times. "Sometimes it helps to focus on the small things. One step at a time, remember? Have you tried any of those breathing exercises I taught you?"

You nodded, even though she couldn't see you. "Yeah, a little. They help, but it’s hard to remember in the moment."

"Next time you feel a panic attack coming on, call me. Anytime, okay? We'll get through it together," Paige's voice was firm, reassuring. "You don't deserve the shit they give you, like at all."

"Thank you," you whispered, feeling a surge of gratitude. "I don't know what I'd do without you, P."

"You don't have to thank me. I care about you, and I wanna help. Plus, I like hearing your voice," Paige added with a light chuckle, trying to lift your spirits.

You couldn't help but smile at that. "Me too, especially your cute tired voice."

"Cute, really?" Paige laughed through the phone and you swore you felt like your whole world felt even again. "But uh, if you do really wanna disappear you can always come to Connecticut."

The thought of escaping the relentless spotlight, even for a little while, sounded like a dream. "Really?"

"Yeah, you can stay with me for a bit, if that's uh... what you want." Paige explained through the phone. "My friends are super chill and it's always a fun time, if you ever wanna come. Think about it?"

The idea of spending time with the basketball player you'd quickly become enthralled with, seemed almost like a dream. And getting away from LA and all the madness that came with it sounded heavenly, you were going to give Connecticut a thought.

You sighed, feeling a warmth spread through you that had been absent for far too long. "Yeah, I will. And Paige?"

"Yeah?"

"Thank you. Really."

"Anytime, Y/N. Sweet dreams."

↳ make sure to check out my navigation or masterlist if you enjoyed! any interaction is greatly appreciated !

↳ thank you for reading all the way through, as always ♡

[seriallover]

Why certain people capture the spotlight?⭐️

1. The luminaries, the Sun and Moon naturally draw attention in a birth chart. People with strong Sun or Moon placements tend to light up any room they enter, effortlessly standing out.

Just like everyone loves capturing the beauty of a sunrise or the glow of a full moon, those with these placements have a magnetic energy that people can’t help but notice.

It’s almost like they’re always in the spotlight, which is why they often feel the need to look their best.☀️🌕

Beyoncé, Purva Phalguni Sun, Chitra Lagna and Venus.

Michael Jackson, Magha Sun and Shatabhisha Lagna.

Bella Hadid, Purva Phalguni Moon and Lagna.

There's not much to say about Beyoncé and Michael that isn't already well-known—they're icons in their own right, the biggest stars of our time. Bella Hadid has become the most photographed model off-duty and in 2022, she was named Model of the Year.

Gia Carangi, often hailed as the first true supermodel, paved the way for all the other supermodels that followed. She had a Shravana Sun and Lagnesh, with Hasta as her Lagna and a Shatabhisha Moon.

Britney Spears, Shravana Moon, was one of the most photographed stars for a while. The crazy amount of media attention even led to harassment and really affected her mental health.

Gisele Bündchen, Pushya Sun and Purva Phalguni Lagna, the only "Ubermodel"-that means being more than a supermodel.

Lauren Hutton, Pushya Moon and Lagna, holds the record for the most Vogue covers—26 in total.

I previously explored about how lunar-dominant people often achieve significant success on social media.

2. Chitra Nakshatra, known as the "Star of Opportunity," carries the Shakti of "accumulating merit." The word "Chitra" translates to "wonderful" and "pleasing to look at," as well as "illusion."

The deity of this nakshatra is Tvastar, the celestial architect who designed the universe. The symbol of Chitra is the "pearl" or "bright jewel," symbolizing beauty and uniqueness.💎💍

"Chitra" also means "picture," so individuals with this nakshatra are often naturally photogenic. 📸Tvastar, as the creator of Maya (illusion), grants those under Chitra the ability to craft captivating personas, making them talented models, photographers, actors, and successful on social media.

Kim Kardashian, Chitra Sun, built a career centered on her image. As one of the first influencers, she's become one of the most prominent and influential figures on social media. In 2015, she released “Selfish”, a book featuring a collection of her selfies.

Cindy Kimberly, Chitra Moon and Shravana Lagna, shot to fame because of her striking beauty. Her big break came when Justin Bieber posted about her on his Instagram. Now, she’s a major beauty influencer and a well-known model.

Anna Nicole Smith, Chitra Sun and Hasta Moon, made a name for herself as a model, completely based on her image. She was once one of the most photographed women in the world, and photographers loved working with her, often saying she was one of the easiest and most exciting people to capture on camera.

The thing with Chitra individuals is that, because of Tvastar, the celestial craftsman, their features often become iconic. For instance, Kim drew the attention to the BBL, Cindy’s nose has become a major inspiration for many women, and Anna Nicole brought attention back to curvy bodies at a time when the "heroin chic" look was in vogue, reminiscent of Marilyn Monroe's era.

3. Dhanishtha🌟 Shakti is "power to give abundance and fame," meaning "the most famous," "the most heard of." This nakshatra is recurring in the charts of people who usually marry famous individuals, making them well-known as well, often attracting more attention than their partner.

Princess Diana, Dhanishtha Moon and Magha Lagnesh, was the most photographed woman in the world, holding the record for the most sold-out paparazzi pictures, including one that sold for 6 million dollars.

Marilyn Monroe, Rohini Sun, Dhanishtha Moon, and Ashlesha Lagna, was also one of the most photographed women of her time.

4. Shatabhisha, meaning "hundred stars" and represented by a veiled star and an empty circle, is a nakshatra ruled by Rahu. ⭕️

This nakshatra is associated with illusion, the power to effect radical change, innovation, the foreign, esoteric influences, and trends. The empty circle can also symbolize the idea of a cult or community, like the Navy for Rihanna.

Rihanna, Shatabhisha Sun, stands out as one of the most influential artists and fashion icons. She has consistently set trends in the fashion world, with her style serving as an inspiration to many. Recently, her maternity looks have redefined how celebrities approach their appearance during pregnancy, bringing a stylish twist to the norm.

Demi Moore, Lagnesh in Shravana and Jupiter in Shatabhisha in the first house, set a trend for nude pregnancy photoshoots. At the time, this was quite controversial, but it has since become a common practice not just among celebrities, but also for non-celebrity women.

Elizabeth Taylor, Sun in Shatabhisha, was also a major target for paparazzi. George Hamilton once remarked:

"I remember when the word 'paparazzi' came along, and it just meant a bunch of guys who were all photographers looking for Elizabeth Taylor. Desperately looking for Elizabeth Taylor! And that was the beginning of paparazzi. They were not going for glamour anymore. They were going for the destruction of glamour."

[henrykathman]

The Greatest Movie You'll Never See! - Goncharov (1973)

I believe that I have made the most comprehesive video essay on the 1973 film Goncharov that has been released to date, including restored footage, interviews, and rare behind-the-scenes insight into this forgotten film.

More info below the cut

Special Thanks to Molly Noise (She/Her) for composing the original music Matt Crowley (He/Him) for his quotes Marisa BeBeau (She/Her) for graciously letting me interview her. You can support her work at @sabertoothwalrus

You can also buy a copy of the 'Nico the Catboy' zine here!

Bibliography

Benjamin, Walter. The Work of Art in the Age of Mechanical Reproduction. Penguin Books, 1935, pp. 1–26. Connanro. “Goncharov Master Document.” Google Docs, 20 Nov. 2022, docs.google.com/document/d/1Fbcn96MKyc1Bky6c0Ffex4APtar9iNht8ytfZHPpSss/edit#heading=h.bpd1oee4nr3q. Accessed 16 Mar. 2023. Jacobsen, Emily. “Ratatouille the Musical (Full Show).” YouTube, 9 Dec. 2020, www.youtube.com/watch?v=-pdTi-R-Apw. Accessed 15 Mar. 2023. Juli. “Goncharov Score Masterpost.” Tumblr, 21 Nov. 2022, www.tumblr.com/thisisnotjuli/701573313313587200/goncharov-score-masterpost?source=share. Accessed 16 Mar. 2023. Lauren Shippen. “Ice Pick Joe Quote.” Tumblr, 1 Nov. 2022, thelaurenshippen.tumblr.com/post/701652426816733184/i-know-that-ice-pick-joe-operates-mostly-as-a. Accessed 15 Mar. 2023. Marisa BeBeau. “Nico the Catboy Archive.” Sabertoothwalrus, Tumblr, 25 Oct. 2020, sabertoothwalrus.tumblr.com/tagged/nico%20the%20catboy/chrono. Accessed 15 Mar. 2023.

[bad268]

HELLO

I'm in love with ur arvid linblad stories...

Could u please do one where its the first time he brings reader to a race and shes a bit shy and the other guys are teasing him abt it cos they didn't think he could pull someone and then they see how cute they are

+ Heyy I loved ur arvid linblad x reader!!

Could u do one where he is super excited for Silverstone and no one knows why until the weekend where he walks in with his gf and all the prema guys are surprised and then they see how cute they are together. -@romantic-stylezz

Passenger Princess (Arvid Lindblad X Fem! Reader)

Fandom: RPF/F2/F3

Requested: Clearly (HELLO THANK YOU ILY BOTH <3 I hope yall don't mind that I combined these)

Warnings: Aged up Arvid (and Dino, Gabriele, Sebastian, Luke, Laurens, and Tim by association)

POV: Third Person (She/her)

W.C. 1424

Summary: Arvid's friends didn't think he could pull her.

As always, my requests are OPEN

MASTERLIST // HITLIST

~~(^@/Arvid’s insta from May 26, 2024)

Every British driver was excited for Silverstone, but Dino was convinced that Arvid was a little over the top. Dino could not figure it out for the life of him, and Arvid did not peg him as the ultra-patriotic type. Dino was going to get to the bottom of it.

When they arrived in the United Kingdom, it was like Arvid disappeared anytime they were not at the track. Dino even tried looking around the hotel for Arvid, but he was just gone. The team didn’t know either. They just assumed he was staying with family.

Media day came around, and Arvid came running into the trailer almost late. He tried his best to sneak in through the back, but Dino caught him immediately.

“So you think that since you’re at your home race, you can sleep in and stay with your family longer?” Dino chuckled as he shoved against Arvid’s shoulder. Dino didn’t notice the blush spreading on Arvid’s cheeks as he continued teasing. “Did you enjoy a calm morning and breakfast with your family? Are they gonna come pick you up after too for supper?”

“Actually, my morning was pretty hectic,” Arvid chuckled as he walked in step with Dino for the track walk. “My alarm didn’t go off, so I didn’t wake up my girlfriend for her test-”

“Woah, don’t get all delusional on me,” Dino joked, “You’ve never mentioned a girlfriend before.”

“No one’s ever asked,” Arvid shrugged as he ran to catch up with his engineer to look over data. Dino didn’t even have a chance to question it. Did he believe it? No. Did he think it was a cheap coverup? Oh yeah, Dino just needed to get to the bottom of it.

They didn’t have a free chance until they were wrapping up after qualifying. Both of them did well, qualifying first (Arvid) and third (Dino). They had just finished up the debrief, and Arvid dipped out faster than any of the team could blink. It wasn’t until Dino went out to the employee parking lot with Gabriele and Sebastian that he saw Arvid still hanging around. Dino was about to run up and scare him, but he noticed Arvid was on the phone. Like a normal group of friends, they all decided to listen in on his call.

“Qualifying was good,” He chuckled as he kicked at a few rocks on the asphalt. He paused for a second before chuckling again, “Yes. I know. Thank you, lovey.” The boys were confused. Who the hell was he talking to? Maybe Arvid wasn’t talking out of his ass about a girlfriend earlier in the week. The trio looked between each other before Arvid started talking again. “Are you almost here? We can go out tonight and celebrate your test…Okay, I’ll let you drive safely for the rest of the way. I have to confront some eavesdroppers. I’ll see you when you get here. I love you.”

Busted, they all thought. 

Arvid hung up the phone with his beloved girlfriend, who he would have rather talked to for eternity, but he also knew his friends would have questions. He can understand why. He never mentioned a girlfriend, nor has he mentioned any interest in a girl. It’s mainly because he always had you, and he never felt the need to say anything. Also, no one asked him about a girlfriend.

Now, he was going to come clean. 

“You can ask now,” Arvid sighed as he turned around and looked straight at the group of three.

“Who, what, when, where, why,” Dino rattled off quickly as he approached Arvid.

“And how!” Sebastian shouted running to catch up with Dino and Arvid, leaving Gabriele to calmly walk over on his own. “I need the tea!”

“Who, her name is Y/n. What, she’s my my girlfriend. When, since 2022. Where and why, I don’t know the questions,” Arvid rattled back quickly as all three boys surrounded him.

“Where you met and why you hid it, obviously,” Gabriele stated in a blatant tone. 

“We grew up together. She was my neighbor for the longest time, and when I left for the Italian F4 championship, she confessed and ended up joining me toward the end of the season. Why I didn’t tell you, you didn’t ask.”

“You two were dating when we were F3 teammates, and I didn’t even know?”

“She confessed first? That’s cute.”

“Why are we just now finding out?”

“Tough luck,” Arvid laughed as he started going through the follow-up questions of his friends. “Yeah, she confessed. Is that a problem?”

“No, it’s just I thought you would have been the one to confess,” Sebastian replied quickly, thinking he offended Arvid. “Sorry.”

“Nah, it’s fine,” Arvid chuckled, “And you’re just now finding out because you decided to listen in on my phone call now. If you would have waited about 12 more hours, you would’ve met her in person.”

“Is this her first race?” Dino asked still in shock.

“No, did you not listen?” Arvid teased. “She came for the last half of my Italian F4 season in 2022, and a couple of F4 and Euro 4 races in 2023. Whatever ones she could do with her schedule since she was still in secondary school. She was also at the MACAU race in 2023, I forgot about that.”

“So she just didn’t come to your first or second F3 seasons?” Dino didn’t mean to sound so snappy, but he was confused. Just as Arvid was getting ready to reply, a car honking caught all of their attention. The driver rolled down their window, they were met with a random girl except she wasn’t random to Arvid.

“It’s a lot easier to go to European races than it is to go everywhere, especially during my last years of secondary school,” She said with a laugh. “Do you boys need a ride? I’ve got space. It’s not some fancy car, but it gets the job done.”

She wasn’t kidding. Her old Honda Civic looked like it had seen better days, but it still ran, and that’s what mattered. Arvid shook his head dismissively as he walked around to the passenger side.

“Oh, first you say she confessed, and now you’re saying you’re the passenger princess? That’s crazy,” Sebastian teased as he walked up to the door.

“Passenger princess and proud,” Arvid boasted as he immediately took over the music. “Are you guys getting in or not?”

“Hold up, I’m still wrapping my head around this.”

“Dino, either get in the car, and we’ll drop you off at the hotel or we’ll see you tomorrow.”

“Ok, I’m getting in.”

The following day, the talk of the F2 paddock was that Arvid had a girlfriend. Once again, no one believed it. Dino was the one running around telling anyone who would listen, and they definitely thought he was going crazy. Sebastian and Gabriele weren’t making a big deal, so everyone thought Dino was making it up. There was no way Arvid had a girlfriend. He was the type to want to flaunt a girlfriend if he had one, so clearly, he didn’t have one. It wasn’t until the two walked into the paddock that, suddenly, everyone went quiet.

Arvid walked through the scanner in his Red Bull kit and waited for Y/n to scan her pass. It was obvious to everyone that the Prema kit she was wearing was not her own. Once she got through, her hand was in Arvid’s as he led her to the Prema trailer. No one could believe their eyes.

Dino stood off to the side with a couple of drivers as they all watched the two lovers laugh at something before disappearing in the trailer.

“I don’t get it,” Luke cleared the air as he still focused on the now-closed door they went in. “I don’t believe they’re together.”

“Yeah,” Laurens chuckled in agreement. “I don’t see him as the type to pull her.”

“Oh, just wait until you find out the racing driver is a passenger princess,” Dino chuckled off-handedly as he started to walk away.

“You are lying!” Tim shouted after him, wanting to hear more details.

“Nope,” Dino stated with a pop. “I’m not spilling everything. You all thought I was lying about his girlfriend! Why would I give you more tea?”

“Fine, I’ll just ask Sebastian,” Tim shrugged off as he walked off with Laurens and Luke following closely behind him.

“No!” Dino shouted as he ran after them. “Wait for me!”

~~~ Part 2->

~~~~~

© BAD268 2024. DO NOT REPOST WITHOUT PERMISSION.

[mysterious-moonstruck-musings]

Destiny & Deliverance: Chapter 26

Destiny & Deliverance Masterlist ||| Main Masterlist Dieter Bravo X OFC New as of 11/13/2023

Series Summary: Natalia Cohen is experiencing major life changes, beginning with leaving an emotionally abusive husband. She is learning how to navigate life on her own while dealing with high functioning anxiety, depression, and mild PTSD. Everything is looking up for her. She is a highly respected consultant for a major LA firm, has her best friend, Lauren, by her side, and is on her path to healing. Everything changes when she meets a handsome and broken stranger on a work trip. He turns out to be a well-known actor, with a heart-breaking past. They quickly develop a connection that will forever alter their lives. 

Warnings: Themes dealing with mental health, emotional trauma, alcohol use, and discussions about suicide. There will be fluff, tears, spicy language, and smut. This will be a slow burn type of story. Read at your own risk.

Chapter Quote: "I don't want to do this."

I lost track of how much time passed as I watched Dieter sleep. My mind was racing through so many thoughts that it overwhelmed me, making it impossible to process anything at all. It was hard to pull myself away from him, but I felt like I needed a few minutes to myself to just…feel. I was relieved when the nurse walked in to check on him, feeling like that was my out. I let her know that we would be in the waiting room if he asked for us. When she turned her attention back to her checklist, I excused myself from the room.

As I walked down the hallway, I took a moment to observe my surroundings. Seeing patients through open doors in various states of critical care was making me feel anxious. The sounds of beeping machines dredging up old memories that I thought I had packed away for good. The pungent smells of antiseptic and fragrances of chemical based cleaners caused my stomach to churn. I hated hospitals and I hated that Dieter was having to go through this experience. I truly hoped that it would at least have a positive outcome so that he could finally get the proper help he needed.

I ducked into a single-user bathroom to have a minute to myself, knowing it would be my only opportunity. After locking the door behind me, I walked over to the sink and gave myself a once over in the mirror. I looked like hell. My air-dried curly hair was now a frizzy mess from my fingers incessantly pulling at it. My eyes were circled in darkness from the lack of sleep, red and swollen from crying. The t-shirt I had quickly thrown on before leaving the house was wrinkled and had a stain on it. No wonder the ER doctor didn’t take my word for it when I said I was fine. I wouldn’t have believed me either. 

I tried to smooth my hair down but didn’t get anywhere with it. Luckily, I had a hair tie on my wrist so I could pull it back into a messy bun. I took a minute to splash some warm water over my face. My skin felt sensitive and raw from the salty tears that had fallen, no matter how much I willed them not to. I switched over to cold water for a little shock to my system to try and wake up some. After splashing a few handfuls of the cold water, I stood watching it pool in my cupped hands, allowing it to spill over the sides. I could feel myself disassociating, until the flashes of memories started to break through.

Images of Dieter lying on the floor, his eyes opening briefly as I tried to wake him before they rolled back and closed again. The way he looked lifeless in my lap on the drive to the hospital, with a weakened pulse. The sight of him being pulled from my embrace and loaded onto a gurney surrounded by nurses and doctors as they worked to stabilize him. It was too much, and it was all crashing down on me at once. I had almost lost him because I was too fucking selfish to take the risk and reach out to him when I knew in my gut that something was wrong. I completely ignored it all and focused on being angry at him, just to make myself feel better about the whole situation. Now, I only felt anger toward myself.

I snapped back to the present, letting the water spill from my hands before reaching to turn off the faucet. I placed my wet hands on the back of my neck for a moment, allowing the coldness to soothe the heat radiating through my body. I closed my eyes and took a few measured breaths. Then, I reached for paper towels to dry my hands and face before throwing them in the trash. I placed both palms on the sink, leaning against it with my head down. I closed my eyes again, still taking deep breaths to try and center myself.

When I raised my head and opened my eyes, meeting my reflection in the mirror, I hated the person that I saw. My biggest fear had been losing myself again. I had allowed it to happen without even realizing how the darkness was slowly consuming what little was left of me. The harder I worked to keep it away from me the easier it was for the darkness to stealthily pull me into its numbing embrace. The sad part is, I welcomed it with open arms under the guise that I was doing what I needed to do to move forward and be happy.

For the first time since Dieter ended things, I realized I was slowly turning back into the person I was before him. The person I was when I was with Justin. The scared girl who pretended everything was fine and hid her feelings away out of fear that someone would see how bad things were. I had been conditioned to behave this way to protect Justin and all his wrong doings. I had been conditioned to hide my feelings away so that I wouldn’t realize how unhappy I really was. I could feel the walls starting to crumble down again and I found myself craving a drink but knew I couldn’t go down that road. I knew I needed to get back on track and handle things the correct way, for the sake of myself. I wasn’t going to be able to be there for Dieter unless I finally got my shit together. For real this time. I needed to find better ways to cope and actually process my feelings, rather than lock them away. If I didn’t do this, I knew I would be lost to the darkness forever.    

I was drawn away from my thoughts by a knock on the door. I took one last deep breath and moved to leave the bathroom. As I continued my trudge down the hallway, I somehow managed to focus my mind back on the current situation that needed attention, trying to think through the next steps. I wasn’t even sure what those needed to be since I had never dealt with anything like this. This was definitely going to be a team effort.

When I entered the waiting room, I was met with more activity than I expected. Everyone was working to check out various inpatient treatment centers for Dieter. Alex was reaching out to his contacts for feedback while Lauren and Gabby did research on their phones. I immediately joined in. We were determined to find something away from LA that wasn’t one of the upscale places celebrities usually went to that catered to them. He needed to be somewhere that would not treat him any differently than other patients and really focus on helping him get better.

We finally settled on a facility in Tucson, Arizona called Sanctuary Hills that appeared to be promising. It was away from paparazzi central, making it less likely that anything would leak about Dieter being there. It also came highly recommended by Dr. Wilson and several other individuals that Alex spoke with. It would be a long drive, but more than worth it if the place was as good as everyone made it out to be. Once the decision was made, Gabby called to get more information and to get the admission process started. 

We did not want to give Dieter the opportunity to change his mind, so Gabby and I planned to drive him directly to the facility once he was discharged from the hospital. Sanctuary Hills was kind enough to send us a list of things that Dieter could and could not bring with him, so I offered to go pack a bag for him on my way home to nap and freshen up. Gabby planned to do the same while Lauren and Alex stayed behind to spend some time with Dieter once he woke up.

When the Uber driver pulled into the driveway of Dieter’s house, I could feel my chest tighten as anxiety set in. Being there after what had happened the previous evening felt odd, almost sort of eerie. It seemed like there was bad energy emitting from the once happy place that I had considered my second home.

As I used Gabby’s key to unlock the front door, I suddenly felt a wave of emotion sweep over me. I could already feel a lump forming in my throat. When I stepped inside and really took in the space for the first time, I realized how much of a mess it was. I had noticed it the night before but didn’t register the severity because I had been focused on helping him. Dieter’s comforter and a pillow, my pillow, were haphazardly laying on the couch. There were old takeout containers randomly sitting around the living room and kitchen, some still containing food that looked like it had hardly been touched. I assumed that was the cause of the questionable smell permeating throughout the house. The TV was laying on its back on the floor with a busted screen. There were empty and broken liquor bottles of all shapes and sizes laying everywhere. Most of the broken bottles were concentrated on the floor under the painting I had left for him, like they had been thrown at the wall. The painting appeared to be untouched, which was oddly comforting to see.

It was difficult to see the physical evidence of how bad he had been hurting. There was no way that I could look at the sight before me and not feel anything. I simply could not pack this away somewhere in my mind and not deal with it. It was too much, but I needed the raw emotional confrontation. This is what finally caused my walls to crumble down, forcing me to feel everything at once. The sadness, betrayal, hurt, pain, anger…all of it. I couldn’t hold back the flood of tears any longer. My vision blurred momentarily before the tears started to fall incessantly. I didn’t even bother to wipe them away as I made my way toward Dieter’s bedroom to start packing a bag for him.

If I thought the living room and kitchen were bad, his bedroom was even worse. The bed was completely torn apart, and the frame broken. The nightstands were turned on their sides and the lamps that once set atop them laid in pieces on the floor. The mirror on the dresser was shattered and the drawers and clothes were thrown across the room. There was a hole in the drywall where the headboard used to be and another beside the bathroom door. It felt like I was having an out of body experience, the scene around me looking like it had been pulled straight from a movie.

I stood there for a time; both of my hands placed over my mouth in shock as I looked around the room. I had a hard time reconciling the thoughts of Dieter causing such destruction. This wasn’t him. He wasn’t a violent person. This was the culmination of his pain finally breaking him. My legs suddenly felt weak at that realization. I sank to the floor, continuing to take it all in as the tears fell freely down my cheeks. It was hard to see a space that held so many wonderful memories of us reduced to a pile of rubble. Maybe it had been even harder for him to be reminded of those memories while it was still intact, a caricature of how things used to be.

I don’t know how much time passed before I finally pulled myself up off the floor. I needed to take a breather. I walked back to the living room, where I noticed Dieter's phone still laying on the floor from where he had dropped it. My car keys were on the floor nearby, where I had apparently dropped them in the midst of my rush to get to him. I leaned down to pick up the keys and phone. I figured Gabby may need some of the contact information from his phone to deal with his work stuff, so I didn’t want to forget it. I walked over and plopped down on the couch before setting the two items down on the coffee table next to one another.

The lock screen of the phone lit up, catching my attention. I picked it up for a closer look, realizing the wallpaper was the infamous picture of us that he had posted on Instagram. Except this was the unedited original. It was in color, uncropped, and not blurred with filters. I had never seen this version of it. It almost broke me to see how happy and content we both looked. Even though Dieter’s head was turned slightly, I could still see the rare spark of happiness in his eyes. The crease that he often had between his brows was smooth. It was hard to remember that for a short time we had been blissfully happy. It seemed so long ago now. I realized that I would give anything to go back to that. We both needed the good times, to experience those rare moments of joy, when things didn’t feel like an uphill battle.

I grabbed the comforter that was halfway hanging onto the floor and wrapped it around me as I laid down onto the couch, phone still clutched in my hand. The scent of Dieter’s cologne surrounded me in a comforting embrace as I continued to examine the picture. A low battery alert appeared on screen. I chuckled to myself, thinking how my battery felt low too. I eventually set his phone back down on the table and drifted off to sleep.

I was jolted awake by my cell phone ringing in my back pocket. When I sat up, I realized it was now dark outside. I had been asleep for longer than I had planned to be. It took me a few seconds to work out where I was as I wiped the sleep from my eyes. I quickly stood and fished the phone out of my pocket to see that it was Gabby calling me. She wanted to check in and see how I was doing and if I needed help with any of Dieter’s things. I didn’t, of course. That was something I wanted to deal with on my own, but I appreciated her offer, nevertheless. It felt good to know that I was not alone in all of this, that this time around there were other people close to Dieter and me who understood what was going on.

Gabby went on to share that Alex had called to say the hospital would be releasing Dieter the following morning. She was planning for us to make the seven-and-a-half-hour drive immediately after picking him up. Then she and I would take a flight back to Los Angeles. It was going to be a long day, but it was worth it if it meant he was going to get the help he needed. We made plans for her to pick me up in a rental car and be ready to go first thing in the morning.

Once Gabby and I hung up, I realized I had a text from Aubrey. I had only just realized that I never called into work that today, so I was surprised I had not heard from her sooner.

Aubrey: Lauren called me last night to let me know what was going on. I hope everything is ok. Please take all the time you need, for the both of you. Keep me updated and let me know if you need anything.

I sighed heavily. I seriously did not deserve her or Lauren. They gave me more grace than I deserved sometimes. I fired off a quick update to Aubrey to let her know that both Dieter and I were doing ok and that I would need a couple of days off. She responded immediately to let me know that would be fine.

Since that was off the “to do” list, I decided to pack Dieter’s bag. I pulled up the list that Gabby had sent to me. He was basically limited to three days’ worth of comfortable clothes and nothing else until they considered him to be fully stable. He couldn’t even have his glasses or contacts, something he was definitely not going to be happy about.

I sent a quick text to Gabby reminding her that Dieter would need a phone list since he couldn’t have his phone. I figured she might have a better idea of who needed to be listed on that and that she would probably have most of their numbers. Then, I made my way to his closet, ignoring the mess in the bedroom as best I could. I found that his closet was completely untouched and still somewhat organized. I noticed that half of it was now empty, which reminded me of the conversation we had about making space to keep some of my things there. He had clearly held up to his word on that and never bothered to change it back. I could feel the lump forming in my throat with that thought. I shook my head, dismissing the memory so I could focus on the task at hand.

I quickly grabbed a pair of his gray workout shorts and two pairs of striped pajama pants (that did not have drawstrings) and three plain t-shirts from the shelves. I found his bright green robe and removed the waist belt before adding it to my stack. I had to dig around to find slip on closed toe shoes that didn’t have any metal or laces on them. At the bottom of his shoe pile, I found a pair of black croc clogs that I had never seen him wear, but it’s what he was getting because it was the only pair I could find that met the requirements. After grabbing some of his boxers and socks, I started looking around for a bag. I eventually came across an extra-large tote bag that could barely hold everything. He wasn’t allowed to bring his own toiletries, so I didn’t have to worry about any of that. I quickly ran through the list again making sure I didn’t miss anything. I made a mental note to double check on the phone list with Gabby and get his medications back from the hospital. Other than that, he couldn’t have anything else.         

Before I left Dieter’s house, I collected all the food containers and took out the trash. That was something that needed immediate attention due to the smell alone. The rest would have to wait until I had more time. I wanted to make sure to get everything cleaned up before he came home, whenever that would be. The mess was the last thing he needed to deal with, and he most definitely did not need any reminders of what happened to him.

I collected the tote bag, my phone and Dieter’s, and my car keys before walking out to my car and heading back to my house. After I got home, I gathered a few things I would need for our quick trip, set my alarm, then immediately went to bed. Surprisingly, it didn’t take long for sleep to take me. I was physically and mentally exhausted and I could feel every bit of it.

The morning alarm came quickly. I felt like I had only just dozed off as I sat up in bed, stretching. My head was throbbing, and I could feel that my eyes were still swollen and stinging from all the crying I had done the past two days. I hoped a hot shower would help alleviate the tightness I could feel from the inflammation and ease my aching body. I drug myself up out of bed and took a very long shower. I mostly stood under the hot spray, unmoving, as I stared at the floor. I felt like I needed to mentally prepare myself for whatever the day would bring. I didn’t know what to expect, which left me anticipating all possible outcomes, including the worst-case scenarios. My only hope was that Dieter stayed calm throughout the trip and didn’t change his mind about accepting help before we got him there.  

I spent longer than I should have in the shower, causing me to rush around to get ready. Not that I had planned to put a lot of effort into it anyway because it was definitely a messy bun and sunglasses kind of day. I was glad that I had gotten things ready the night before or else I know that I would have ended up forgetting something. Before I knew it, Gabby was pulling into my driveway. When I got into the car, she handed Dieter’s phone list over to me so she would not forget about it. I added it to his bag before I handed over his cell phone to her.

I could tell she was just as anxious as I was from her tight grip on the steering wheel and tense posture. We hardly said a word to each other during the drive to the hospital. Both of us were clearly deep in thought. The way I felt was almost indescribable. I was anxious and my chest felt tight, but in a different way than before. My head was buzzing as the thoughts raced uncontrollably. I felt hopeful, sad, and angry all at the same time. I was having a hard time wrapping my head around how it had actually come to this. It almost didn’t seem real. I was starting to feel disconnected, like I was watching everything from the outside. I knew that probably wasn’t a good thing, but also felt like it might be the only way I could get through today. I would just have to deal with the consequences of it later.  

When we arrived at the hospital, we found that Alex was already pushing the discharge process along as best he could. He had spent the night with Dieter so he wouldn’t have to be alone. Alex had to be exhausted since he had been at the hospital the entire time. He had the least amount of sleep out of all of us in the past forty-eight hours, so I knew he was ready to crash. Lauren arrived soon after Gabby and me so that she could take Alex home. She had stopped to get us all coffee and breakfast too, which was very much appreciated by all.

Dr. Wilson briefly met with Gabby and I to give us Dieter’s bag full of medication and to go over paperwork. He gave us copies of everything that Sanctuary Hills would need but indicated they had sent electronic copies as well. He let us know that they gave Dieter a sedative thirty-minutes prior because he was still being uncooperative with staff and exhibiting high levels of anxiety. He noted that it should last about eight hours but included another dose with Dieter’s medication in case it was needed. That was not the news that Gabby and I wanted to hear, but we were appreciative that Dieter was given something to calm him down during the trip. We were hopeful that being with us would help him relax some too.

When we were finally able to make our way to Dieter’s room, we found him sitting on the bed picking at the food Lauren had brought for him. It didn’t look like he had eaten much of it. He seemed a little dazed as he sat in silence staring around the room at nothing. Lauren and Alex gave Gabby and I an apprehensive look as our eyes darted between them and Dieter. I wasn’t sure what I was expecting but I don’t think this was it. I assumed his behavior was like this because the sedative was kicking in, making him feel out of it while dulling the anxiety.

I walked over to stand next to the bed, reaching out to push Dieter’s hair back out of his eyes, which caused him to focus his attention on me for the first time. He knitted his brows together as he stared at me in silence for a moment. Then he reached up to lightly tug on my shirt, pulling me to sit down beside him. I wrapped my right arm around him as I moved to sit closer to him, then reached up to rub the curls at the nap of his neck. He immediately melted into my side and laid his head on my shoulder, his arms tightening around me. I took a stuttered breath as I fought back the tears that were threatening to fall. He was so fucking pitiful, and it was breaking my heart to see him like that.

After several minutes passed and when I eventually felt like I had my emotions under control, I asked Dieter if he wanted to change clothes and get ready to leave. He nodded slowly against my shoulder. Gabby handed him a set of clothes and the crocs I had gotten from his house as he got up to go toward the bathroom. While we waited for him, a nurse came in with the last bit of paperwork for Gabby to sign off on. By the time he came back out, we were ready to go. Gabby went out ahead of us to get the rental SUV and pull it up to the door. The rest of us made our way downstairs, accompanied by two patient care assistants. They kept a close eye on Dieter the whole way, which made me question what he had been doing to the staff that was so “uncooperative”. I felt like they were expecting him to run off or something.

Once Gabby pulled up, we gave Alex and Dieter some space to say their goodbyes. Alex had placed one of his hands around the back of Dieter’s neck, pulling their foreheads close together as he talked quietly to his older brother. Something about the sight caused Gabby, Lauren, and I to immediately tear up. The intense emotional look that passed between the two of them said so much. Dieter tightly nodded along to whatever his brother was saying before they pulled each other into a warm embrace. After a quick hug from Lauren, Dieter crawled into the back seat of the SUV. He stared at me wide-eyed and unblinking with his sad puppy dog eyes, seeming to be asking a question without words. I gave him what I hoped was a reassuring smile before climbing in to sit next to him as he scooted to the other side.

Dieter sat wringing his hands and staring down at the floor as we waited for Gabby to finish filling Alex in on our plans for the day. I reached over to grab his left hand and he visibly relaxed some. He glanced over at me with a tight smile before turning to stare out the window. He still looked paler than normal. Seeing him in his own clothes made it more apparent that he had lost some weight, which added to his frail appearance. I knew the current sight of him would haunt my dreams for weeks to come.

Soon after we got on the road, I noticed Dieter was having a hard time keeping his eyes open as he leaned his head against the window.

I gave his hand a small squeeze as I eyed him, “You ok?”

“Those fucking drugs they gave me are making it hard to stay awake,” he said flatly without looking my way.

I started rubbing small circles on his hand with my thumb, “Do you wanna lay down?”

His eyes locked with mine in an intense stare, like he was surprised at my words. I moved to grab a small blanket and pillow from behind the seat that Gabby had brought for him. I handed him the blanket and placed the pillow in my lap as he watched me intently. I don’t know why, but I suddenly felt like I was dealing with a scared feral animal from the look he was giving me. I didn’t want to spook him, but I also wanted to make sure I was there for him in the ways he needed. I reached toward him and motioned with my hand for him to lay down. He moved to get comfortable the best he could in the small space, folding his body to fit and putting his head in my lap. He sighed deeply, eyes closing as he tried to make himself comfortable. Once he was situated, I started running my fingers through his hair and lightly scratching at his scalp. It wasn’t long before his breathing changed to deep steady breaths as he fell asleep.

The drive was long and quiet. I could occasionally feel Gabby’s eyes on me in the rearview mirror as I watched Dieter sleep. My thoughts were still quickly cycling through every second of our time together, trying to figure out when things started to get so bad. I had a feeling Gabby could see everything I was feeling written on my face during that drive. She never questioned it though. There were times that I glanced her way and she seemed to be just as deep in thought as I was.

About four hours into the trip, Gabby asked if we should stop for food. Since Dieter was still sleeping, we decided to push through the drive without stopping. I got the feeling that she wanted to get this whole process over with as soon as possible, leaving little room for interruptions or complications. I couldn’t blame her since I was feeling the same way, along with the nagging feeling that the worst part was still to come.          

It turns out, I was right. By the time we reached Sanctuary Hills, the sedative was wearing off. Dieter had woken up about twenty minutes before we got to the facility, and I could tell his anxiety was ramping up. It started with his fingers twitching, and the restless moving of his legs, until he eventually sat up in his seat. His eyes began to drift across everything he could see in the car. Eventually the outside caught his attention as he started to fidget more and wring his hands together again. He refused to take the other pill that Dr. Wilson had sent with us because he was tired of sleeping and how the drug was making him feel.

As we pulled into the parking lot, Dieter’s eyes fixated on the building while he roughly scratched at his chin. I grabbed his hand to make him stop in hopes it would calm him down some. Gabby and I exchanged worried glances in the rearview mirror as she unbuckled her seatbelt. Gabby and I got out of the car and walked around to the passenger side. Gabby pulled Dieter’s door open. He sat staring at me, wide-eyed. He looked terrified. I gave him a tight smile as I reached out my hand for his. He finally relented and took it as he got out. He shuffled slowly behind me as we walked toward the entrance. Gabby grabbed his bag out of the back and quickly caught up to us.

Once we entered the facility, Dieter stood closely at my side with a tight grip on my left hand as he chewed on the thumbnail of his free hand. His head was down, but his eyes were scanning over everything in sight. I tried my best to sooth him and keep him calm while Gabby worked to complete the check in process, occasionally asking him questions for the paperwork she was filling out. He answered quietly, in a barely audible voice, never removing his thumb from his mouth to speak.  

One of the ladies helping with the check in process started to go through Dieter’s bag to check for “contraband” and ensure all of the items were in compliance with the regulations. As she was checking everything, she asked him if he had any jewelry or a cell phone that he needed to turn over to us before Gabby and I left. I felt Dieter tense beside me as his energy changed, from anxious to almost hostile. When I turned to look at him, I could see the panic and anger flashing in his eyes. The inevitable meltdown was finally happening. 

“My phone? You mean I don’t get to keep my fucking phone? No. I didn’t agree to that.”

He started shaking his head frantically from side to side as he backed away from me. I calmly walked over to him and placed both of my hands on his face, softly stroking his patchy beard, in an attempt to calm him as he continued to ramble on.

“How am I supposed to call you without my phone? What if I need you? This place is like a fucking prison. I don’t want to do this.”  

“Dieter, listen to me.”

He finally paused his movements as he stared directly into my eyes. What I saw there made me feel like someone was carving my heart out of my chest with a rusted spoon. I have no idea how I managed to hold it together, but I did.

“You can’t have your phone, but you can use theirs. You have a set phone time to call us. They want you to focus on getting better, so you can’t keep it with you.” 

“A set phone time? I only have your number memorized. Not the others.”

I was momentarily taken off guard by his admission, feeling more emotional than I already had been if that were possible. He obviously wasn’t thinking rationally right now. This wouldn’t be an issue for most people, but Dieter was used to always having his phone to stay connected with those he cared about. It was understandable the absence of that connection would upset him.

“Gabby made you a list of phone numbers so you can call us. It’s in your bag.”

This answer didn’t seem to dampen his anxiety in the slightest, “But I can only call during certain times? What if you don’t answer and I can’t call back?”

“I’ll answer. I promise… and if you need anything between calls, your case worker can call for you if it isn’t something that can wait.”

I could see the tears brimming in his eyes as he continued to stare at me, a pleading expression on his face - either about the phone, his stay, or something else entirely. I was not sure. I tried to keep my face neutral for his sake, but I knew I was failing. My brows drew down together without my permission as my vision blurred slightly from my own tears. He lowered his head and turned away from me, his shoulders shaking slightly from his shallow breathing. He started to clench and unclench his hands at his sides as he moved further away. I quickly wiped at my eyes and glanced over at Gabby and the ladies behind the front desk. They were all staring at the two of us with worry and concern in their eyes. I took a deep breath before walking over to Dieter, pulling him away from the onlookers and enveloping him into a tight hug. I could feel his fingers knotting in the back of my shirt as he spoke through his tears into my neck. “I’m so fucking terrified to do this and I don’t want you to leave me.” I could feel his grip tighten further as he quietly added, “We didn’t get any time to fix things.”

I gently ran my fingers through the back of his hair, “Don’t worry about that, I’ll be right here when you’re done. We can talk about it later. I want you to focus on yourself right now. When you’re better, you’re coming home to me, ok? I’m not going anywhere.”

He slowly pulled back to meet my eyes. He seemed determined now as he searched my face.

“I don’t want to spend another night away from you after this.”

I gave him a genuine smile before leaning my forehead against his and closing my eyes to savor the feeling of him, trying to memorize every little bit of him that I could. I felt a tentative hand cupping my cheek as I opened my eyes to look up at him again. I leaned into his gentle touch, for the first time in months. I had missed it so much more than I realized. I couldn’t help myself. I reached up and entwined my fingers with his hand on my cheek before pulling them to rest between us. I used my other hand to pull him toward me and gently placed a kiss on his lips.

The way his face lit up as a few more tears slid down his cheeks made my heart clench. He didn’t hesitate to reach up with both hands and pull me in for a second and third kiss before briefly resting his forehead against mine, the physical intimacy that we had to do without for months seeming to ground him a little. He took a deep steady breath as he backed away.  “Alright, let’s get this shit over with.”

Dieter’s mood shift was surprising and also a relief. He seemed to be having a moment of clarity, which I took full advantage of as I pulled him over toward Gabby so that he could help her finish with his paperwork. Things went much faster after that than I expected. Before we knew it, we were saying our goodbyes. He didn’t let go of my hand until he absolutely had to. He still looked sad, but seemed in better spirits than he was when he arrived. I was thankful for that since it made it more bearable for everyone involved.

Gabby and I had to hurry to catch our flight. We had just enough time to turn in the rental and grab a small snack as we rushed through the airport. We didn’t talk much on our way home. The topic of her brother seemed to be off limits for the both of us, as an unspoken agreement. We were both so drained from the events of the last few days that we needed a break from it. I could tell she was appreciative of having me there though. It was obvious in the small smiles and gentle hand squeeze she would randomly give me during our journey.

By the time I finally made it back to my house, I was running on empty. It was late and all I wanted to do was crawl into bed, but I somehow mustered up the energy to take a quick shower to wash the day of travel away. After that, it didn’t take long before I was out.

In the days that followed, I spent my time cleaning up the disaster that was Dieter’s house. I ended up having his bedroom furniture hauled off since several pieces were broken. It wasn’t worth the effort to try and fix them. Once that project was done, I didn’t have much else to do besides work and I did that from home. I did make an effort to spend time with Gabby and Lauren when I felt up to it. I felt it was important to work on my relationship with them since I had been so absent recently, and I didn’t want to risk isolating myself again as I was trying to cope with things. 

After a week had passed, nothing could take my mind off the fact that Dieter hadn’t called me. I was worried that he was starting to realize how badly I had handled this whole situation on my end. He was the one that ended things, but I had made zero effort to fight for us. I had let him go like it was nothing. I would expect him to be hurt by that. Gabby assured me that he hadn’t called because he was having a hard time coming off of his medication and wasn’t feeling up to much phone time. What little he had called to speak with her was to get things sorted out for work and those conversations only lasted a few minutes. She said it was obvious by the way he sounded that he wasn’t feeling well. The case worker told Gabby that he was having some withdrawal symptoms after the first few days of decreasing his medication dosages and he was having a hard time with it. I knew that was most likely the case, but that still didn’t keep the doubts from creeping in, imagining worst case scenarios.

It was nearly two weeks after we had dropped Dieter off at Sanctuary Hills when I got a surprise visit from Alex. He awkwardly greeted me as he walked through the doorway carrying a very large parcel wrapped in brown paper. I eyed it quizzically as he maneuvered it into the living room.

“What is this?”

“Dieter asked me to bring this to you that night I stayed with him at the hospital. I’m sorry, I’m just now getting around to it. He sent a not so polite reminder through Gabby about it yesterday.” 

“I take it you haven’t talked to him either then?”

Alex sighed as he shook his head, “No, not yet. Gab said he’s still kind of a mess right now because of the medication changes. She mostly talks to his case worker, I think.”

I nodded in understanding. Knowing that he hadn’t reached out to Alex either did offer some reassurances that it wasn’t just me. It hurt me beyond words to know that he was having such a hard time with the medication changes. I hoped, for his sake, that it did not last much longer. 

Alex moved to hand me the large parcel he was holding. I took it as I gave him a questioning look. I noticed his eyes lit up slightly before he gave me a smirk.

“It’s the painting from the art fundraiser.”

I knitted my brows together as I took it from him, ripping the front of the paper to reveal the painting that had turned me into an emotional mess that night. Once I had it completely unwrapped, I set it against the wall and stepped back to look at it. I realized there was something very familiar about the two figures.

More after the image

I turned to Alex, who still had the same smirk on his face, “I don’t understand. How did he know about the painting?”

His smirk slowly turned into a wide smile, “He painted it. He wanted to surprise you with it that night, but obviously that didn’t work out…”

I put my hand to my mouth, gasping audibly. Now I understood the reason I felt drawn to it that night. The two figures were us. I could feel the tears prickling at the corners of my eyes, threatening to make their escape.

“I don’t understand, when did he have time to do this? We were together constantly before he left for Canada.”

Alex moved to stand next to me, “He started it right after he got back from New York. He took a break when he went to film that movie in Mallorca but picked it up again when he got back…before he found you again.”

I chuckled in disbelief, “Well this certainly adds a whole other layer of feelings that I wasn’t expecting.”

“I know he did a lot of it at night, when he couldn’t sleep. He told me he couldn’t get you out of his head. I’m pretty sure he fell in love with you that first night you spilled your drink all over him. He wouldn’t stop talking about you, so I encouraged him to look you up. I don’t think I’ve ever in my life seen him so nervous to do something,” Alex let out a small laugh at the memory.

I didn’t even try to hold the tears back after that. How could I? It said so much about Dieter’s feelings. Alex glanced over at me, realizing my emotional state. He put his arm around my shoulder and pulled me in for a gentle side hug.

“This is the first painting he’s done in years…just so you know. You definitely woke up something inside of him. We could all see it. I really hope you two can make it work once he gets out of that place. I think you’re good for each other.”

I was taken aback by Alex’s candor regarding his brother. His words were so unexpected given how quiet and shy he always was around me. I appreciated the fact that he felt comfortable enough to open up to me some.

“I’m not sure how much I’m supposed to tell you, but fuck it, you should know. The nickname he gave you, and that phrase… la estrella del norte, la luz en la oscuridad…that’s something our mother used to say to our father. So, to me and Gabby, it’s a big deal that he used that. We’ve never heard him say it to anyone before.”

I couldn’t help the way my face scrunched up at his words. I was one hundred percent about to ugly cry. I put my hand over my eyes to hide it as Alex pulled me in for a tight hug.

“I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to upset you,” he said into the top of my hair.

“No, I’m not upset. This is a happy cry. It’s just…touching, I guess. I didn’t know that. This is a lot of information to take in and process. Thank you for telling me. I really needed this right now.”

Alex backed away and gave both of my shoulders a gentle squeeze and offered a small smile.

“Well, I won’t keep you any longer. Let Lauren know when you're free and feeling up to it and we can grab some dinner, yeah?”

I nodded and gave him a small smile as I walked him to the door.

After Alex left, I sat down on the floor in front of the painting, taking in every paint stroke. To the casual observer, it was probably just a nice painting of a couple in an embrace under the night sky. I, however, understood the subtle symbolism of the fog and darkness that surrounded the man, but not the woman and the bright star placed just above the woman in the background. The fact that something so simple could say so much was amazing to me. It had me feeling every emotion all at once.

I could not believe the origin of the nickname he had given me, or that he had started working on the painting well before he found me again. I always felt like there was more to the name, but I was not expecting that. He obviously had strong feelings toward me from the start. Looking back, I could no longer justify my reasoning for not being with him from the beginning. I hated that we had missed out on all of that time together.

I had a lot of thoughts swirling through my head that evening. I spent more time than I probably should have staring at that painting, but it was forcing me to process things that I had been avoiding. By the time I finally pulled myself up from the floor, I was mentally and physically exhausted. I went to bed after that and suffered through a night of restless sleep.

Sixty days after Dieter entered Sanctuary Hills, Gabby received a call from him, after mostly only communicating with his case worker over the past two months. He asked her to attend an in-person family counseling session there at the facility. She immediately agreed and got it scheduled. The day it happened; I was an anxious mess while I awaited news about the visit. He still hadn’t called me, or anyone else for that matter. We didn’t really understand why, but his case worker assured us that he was making progress and doing well. He was trying hard to focus on getting better and working through things a little at a time. He was very focused on his healing journey and doing everything that was asked of him. It was hard for me to understand it, being so far away and consumed by worries, but I was proud of him just the same. I was excited to know he was finally requesting to see his family and was hopeful that was a positive sign. 

As it got later into the evening, I was beginning to get concerned since I hadn’t heard from Gabby yet. She had promised to call when she left Sanctuary Hills. I sent her a few texts but did not get a response. I was about to try giving her a call when I heard a knock at the door. I was surprised to see that it was Gabby. The look on her face made my stomach drop. The fact that she hadn’t called and was now showing up with this look on her face couldn’t be a good sign. There was no greeting. She jumped right to the point, “Talia, I’m sorry to just show up, but can we talk? I don’t know who else to talk about this with and I need to talk about it.”

“Yeah, come in.”

We both walked over and sat on the couch. My hands were already fidgeting as the nerves and anticipation quickly built up. Every scenario running through my mind was scary and I wasn’t sure I could handle whatever it was she was about to say. Gabby immediately burst out into sobs. I pulled her into a hug as I tried to suppress my own panic.

“Gabby, I need for you to tell me what’s going on before I have a fucking stroke over here,” I said into her hair. She sighed heavily before pulling away to look at me.

“Dieter told me what happened that night, with mom. I wasn’t prepared for it. I can’t believe he kept that to himself all these years and it fucking kills me that I didn’t do more to support him in dealing with it. I didn’t know he was the one who found her. I always thought it was one of the workers.”

Her sobs continued as I digested her words. I felt instant relief that it wasn’t something worse, something I didn’t know of yet, but at the same time my heart broke for her. I know it had to be hard for her to hear. Hell, it was hard for me to hear.

“I’m sorry, no one else knows about it. I didn’t know who else I could talk to about it. He told me that you knew… I just needed a minute to fall apart and process it before I go home.”

“Hey, take all the time you need. I know it’s a lot to digest,” I said as I rubbed gentle circles on her back. 

“I just wished he would have opened up sooner and shared that burden with me. Maybe he wouldn’t have gotten so bad if he had. I should have tried harder to make him talk to me about it.”

“Gabby, I don’t think it would have mattered what you said to him. He wasn’t gonna talk until he was ready.”

“Yeah, you’re probably right. I just feel terrible that I didn’t know. I don’t think anyone did. I bet dad didn’t even know.”

After a few minutes of silence, she seemed to pull herself together. She reached over to grab my free hand and gave it a gentle squeeze as she smiled up at me.

“He looks so good though…healthy and alert. I really think the treatment is helping. He’s expressing his feelings so well…I - I’m honestly not sure I’ve ever heard him talk that much about how he feels.”

I couldn’t help the smile that spread across my face as happy tears slid down my cheeks.

“He said he’s gonna call you soon. He’s nervous to talk to you for some reason and embarrassed about this whole thing. I told him he didn’t need to be, but you know how he is. He misses you though, I could tell. I lost track of how many times he asked about you.”

I reached up with both hands to wipe the tears from my face. It was comforting to know that he was thinking about me. I knew it was selfish of me to think that way because he should be focusing on himself, but I would be lying if I said it didn’t make me feel better about things.

Gabby didn’t share much more of what they had talked about. Some of it was things he wanted to talk to me about himself, so I didn’t want to push for more details. Once she finally felt composed, she left for home. She had had a long day of travel and was exhausted.

She and I had gotten so close in the last two months. We had been spending a lot of our free time together, along with Lauren and Alex. It truly felt like I was part of a family with them. I loved that she was now comfortable enough with me to share her feelings openly. It was something we had all been doing since Dieter had been away. Even Alex had opened up more. Even though what had happened to Dieter was devastating, there was a silver lining in it. It had brought us all closer together. We were stronger for it and ready to welcome him home to all the support he could possibly need.

The next morning, I had just finished making a quick breakfast when my cell phone started ringing. When I glanced over at the illuminated screen, I saw it was a Tucson, Arizona number. I had waited two months to see this number appear on the screen. My breath immediately caught in my throat as my eyes teared up. I briefly hesitated to answer as the nerves took hold. After a deep breath I hit the answer button and raised the phone to my ear.

“Hello?”

“Talia?”

A/N: Y'all still with me? How are you feeling after that one? Progress? Maybe? As I have said before, digital art is not one of my strengths, but hopefully what I attempted to do gives you an idea of what I see in my head for Dieter's painting. Again, this one looks better in my head too. LOL! Wasn't that a sweet moment between Talia and Alex though? Also, that moment between Dieter and Alex hit me in the feels too. Then of course, the whole of the Dieter and Talia interactions in this chapter. Poor Gabby... now she knows everything. So many feels in this one! Aaaahhh!😭 Next chapter our dear Dieter and Talia will be reunited in a controlled setting to work through their issues together. It will probably be another rough one. We will get Dieter's official diagnosis and with that you will get a Deconstructing Dieter Bravo post. We will get some details on Talia's past which will also include a Today's Musings post for supplemental reading. So, you will get all sorts of goodies with the next chapter. 😉 In case you missed it, I have included the mood board for this chapter below. Last but not least, a huge thank you to my wonderful beta, @for-a-longlongtime. Seriously, it wouldn't be as good without her feedback. As always, please share your thoughts and theories. You know I'm a sucker for them. 💜

Next Chapter

Tag List: @rhoorl @bitchwitch1981 @readingiskeepingmegoing @runningmom94 @for-a-longlongtime @hisandsnakes @chaoticfestninja @survivingandenduring @partyofone3413 @wannab-urs @cakipy-blog @titlee78 @poodlebae @guelyury @missladym1981 @maried01 @alokaerza @samiamproductions @misstokyo7love @themonadiaries-blog @madnessofadaydreamer @darkheartgatita @avastrasposts @weho2kcmo @harriedandharassed @tkchaos @girlofchaos @yghuibt @musings-of-a-rose @annieispunk @pedrostories

Let me know in the comments below if you would like to be added to the tag list.

[stuckinapatriarchalbullshitland]

Hello in my opinion, "godspeed" is about C fans, her experience in the industry, shawmila pr and it also could be about Lauren . What do you think?

I agree. There's something curious about the lyrics because they talk about Showmila, obviously. But also about Lauren, as you say.

Camila mentions singing like "this"

Fifteen since I've been doing this

Twenty-six I choose this

What did she choose at 26? Continue with the circus? Anything else? But this part

There is a REAL REASON why she does this. And I wonder if that reason is really Lauren. Gosh, that's a nice song that I'd like to understand its meaning. I want to know what Camila chose and if that's staying the way she is, because we know that good isn't the answer.

[tangledbea]

Tangled Up In You

by Christina Lauren

A witty and deeply romantic modern reimagining of Disney’s Tangled, by the New York Times bestselling author duo Christina Lauren, part of the acclaimed and bestselling Meant to Be collection.

She has a dream. He has a plan. Together they’ll take a leap of faith.

Ren has never held an iPhone, googled the answer to a question, or followed a crush on social media. What she has done: Read a book or two, or three (okay, hundreds). Taught herself to paint. Built a working wind power system from scratch. But for all the books she’s read, Ren has never found one that’s taught a woman raised on a homestead and off the grid for most of her twenty-two years how to live in the real world. So when she finally achieves her lifelong dream of attending Corona College, it feels like her life is finally beginning.

Fitz has the rest of his life mapped out: Graduate from Corona at the top of his class, get his criminal record wiped clean, and pass himself off as the rich, handsome player everyone thinks he is. He’s a few short months from checking off step one of his plans when Ren Gylden, with her cascading blonde hair and encyclopedic brain, crashes into his life, and for the first time Fitz’s plan is in jeopardy.

But a simple assignment in their immunology seminar changes the course of both their lives, and suddenly they’re thrown out of the frying pan and into the fire on a road trip that will lead them in the most unexpected directions. Out on the open road, the world somehow shifts, and the unlikely pair realize that, maybe, the key to the dreams they’ve both been chasing have been sitting next to them the whole time.

Available May 26, 2024

Hardcover $26.99

Paperback: $15.99

Ebook: $9.99

[southerntigress]

Hello 👋 I was wondering if could write a story about the reader and her best friend try out to be the new nasty habits they both get the part Nikki is hot for both of them

The other band members tell Nikki don't mix business with pleasure

But he doesn't listen to them

One night before a concert on the current tour Nikki snakes both of girls in his dressing room they give him a bj together and he fucks them

Trying not to get caught or heard by the other guys he puts bandanas over their mouth so they don't moan out loud

Maybe add a breeding kink

I'm sorry all that just popped in my head

And I suck writing at fanfiction

Mixing business with pleasure

Hey sorry it took so long but here u go and also I don't do breeding kinks sorry but I hope u like it anyways

Me and my best friend Lauren had the day off we was lazing around the house waiting to go to an audition to be Motley Crue's nasty habits. We had been dancers all of lives that's actually how we met and became friends she was in my dance class when I was like 5 and she was 6.

Now we are 25 and 26 it's crazy how time flies when u are having fun. She's my roomie, my bestie and most of all my sister I love her to pieces.

I was lost in thoughts when she suddenly bursts through my door

"Get up and get dressed or we are going to be late" she says excitedly

I roll my eyes "we have 4 hours before we have to be there and it's only a 30 min drive from here chill out we got plenty of time" I say with a giggle

She raises her eye brow at me " Carrie Ann do you not know who you are talking to"

I nod "yes I do we have plenty of time"

"Bitch it'll take 3 hours to prepare and get dressed, get up" she said pulling my arm

I laugh and pull my arm away " that's cause u are super high maintenance. It'll take me 1 hour to get ready" I say

She groans " ugh I can't stand your ass" she says throwing a pillow at me

I catch it and laugh "love you too" I say as she walks out of the room

Fast forward 4 hours we finally get there and Lauren is dragging me through the sea of people. We finally arrive at the room the auditions are being held at it's empty which is weird I thought it would be packed

I looked at Lauren " it's kinda weird being the only ones here you think we are at the right place?"

She shrugs

A lady walks up to us "may I help you ladies"

"We are here to audition for motely crue" I say

She looks us up and down "ah yes right this way"

She leads us down another hall way and we enter the room " you girls are the last ones so good luck, go on the guys are waiting" she says and walks out

We go further in and there they are Nikki, Vince, Tommy in all of their glory looking all fine and hot.

Nikki is the first to noticed us and smiles " wow look at you ladies yall are the hottest chicks we've seen all day" he smirks

"Keep it in your pants Sixx" Vince says

Nikki flips him off

Lauren and I just giggle

"Alright ladies we're going to go through one song and this will definitely show us if you got what it takes so show us what you got" Tommy says

We get in position as 10 seconds to love starts to play I start to move my hips very seductively and bite my lip as I walk a little closer to the table and bend over shaking my ass Nikki slaps my ass hard.

Lauren crawls across the floor to me comes up on her knees as I get down on mine

Our hands are roaming each other bodies as we grind on each other and right before the song ends we kiss.

We get back up and stand infront of them waiting on their reaction

"Holy shit" says Vince

"Fuck dude" Tommy says

Nikki is staring intently at us with a devilish smirk "that was fucking hot and hands down the best audition we've seen" he says

"Give us a minute" Vince says and we go into the hall

A few minutes later Nikki and Tommy comes out

"Congrats you both are the new nasty habits" Tommy says hugging us

Nikki walks up to us and hugs us "I can't wait to be on tour with you" he says looking at both of us

The tour has started and it's been going amazing the guys and even the fans have made us feel like part of the family. Nikki has been extra handsy and flirting lately despite the others telling not to mix business with pleasure he invited us to his dressing room tonight before the show.

As soon as we walked in he locked the door and slammed his lips on mine we heavily made out as his pressed his body against mine.

He pulled away and brought Lauren in and pressed her against the door next me as he attacked her lips as well.

He pulled back from her and looked from me to her to me again and said "Fuck I need both of you right now but we got to be quiet so the other don't hear ok"

We nod

he starts to undress us then himself he smirks at our reaction to him naked he may be older but fuck me does he still look hot as hell

He looks at me "like what you see sweetheart" he smirks

"Fuck yeah I do" I say

"Good cause you both are going to give me a blow job and then I'm going to fuck both of these pretty little pussies" he says

I drop to my knees after he said waisting no time in taking him in my mouth I move my head up and down his length he grabs my hair and holds me in place as he starts to thrust his hips forward I continue to suck him off for a few more minutes til he pulls me off of him and tells Lauren it's her turn she takes him in her mouth and deep throats him he groans and reaches his other hand down and starts to finger me I throw my head back and moan.

He suddenly pushes us off of him and pulls out 2 bandanas "time to fuck those pretty pussies but I gotta keep you from moaning loud so we don't get caught" he says as he ties them around both of our mouths

He fucks both of us til we can't move or make any more nosies we cum and so does he. We lay on the couch catching our breaths.

Maybe mixing business with pleasure isn't so bad after all

[kitschy-coquette]

What Is Kitschy Coquette?

It is a subcategory I created of the coquette subculture. It’s a mix between retro kitsch, kinderwhore, and y2k styles. I made it cause it’s literally just how I dress and live and I wanted to give the way I exist a name.

Examples Of Women Who Emulate Kitschy Coquette Vibes:

🎀Betsey Johnson

❤️‍🔥Kat Bjelland

💀Me

🎀Louise Post Lightner

❤️‍🔥Nina Gordon

💀Delilah Bon/Lauren Tate

🎀Harley Quinn

❤️‍🔥Kali Uchis

💀Chappell Roan

Aesthetic Examples:

A NOTE: I DO NOT ACKNOWLEDGE TOXIC RACISTS LIKE COURTNEY LOVE IN MY KITSCHY COQUETTE AESTHETIC. FOR OBVIOUS REASONS. If you want to tag things as “kitschy coquette” that have her in them, I can’t stop you. But you will piss me off and would be glorifying a fatphobic racist bitch. I like Hole’s music but do not like promoting images specifically of Courtney because she’s such a terrible person to be putting on a pedestal.

ALSO. Kitschy coquette is for everyone (as in TRANS WOMEN TOO. Trans women are women. End of story).

[americanedpsycho]

an  independent,  private,  highly  selective  &  canon  divergent  portrayal  of  the unreliable narrator PATRICK BATEMAN  from  AMERICAN PSYCHO. a  study  into  the  true  depths  of  narcissism,  acceptance  of  who  he  is,  experiencing  the  joy  of  murdering  those  who  belittle  him,  not  knowing  what  is  real  and  what  is  not,  not  wanting  to  stop  his  anger  and  serial  killer  urges.  medium  to  slow  activity.  est.  14th  june  2023.

THEMES THAT WILL BE PRESENT ON THIS BLOG INCLUDE: violence,  drug  usage  &  drug  abuse,  (mentions  of)  cannibalism,  gore,  sexual  themes,  sexual  suggestions  &,  psychopathic  murder.  non-mutuals,  minors,  &  personal  blogs  do  not  interact. 

business card self-image. mirror . prompts. bateman family. georgia. lara croft.

[sleepi-toasti]

Meet bailey!

bailey (14) lived in a 2d weirdcore world with color kingdoms. she was the princess of the cyan kingdom. one day, bailey fell into a portal that goes to the real world. since bailey lived in a 2d world, she is 2d also. and the real world is 3d, so she's like a piece of paper the size and shape of a human lol

bailey now lives in Houston, but she tries to get back to her original world. she lives with the Mitchell family: Mr Samuel Mitchell (48), Mrs Lauren Mitchell (47), Amy Rodriguez (26, and she's married), Nathaniel Mitchell (17), Madison Mitchell (14), and Aaron Mitchell (9).

also, bailey originally has solid black hair when she lived in her world, but after being introduced to twenty one pilots music, she dyed the bottom of her hair red (to match josh dun)

(another thing: she genderfluid)

(here's bailey in her princess outfit lol)

I'll make the Mitchell family soon, but here's info abt them

Samuel:

he works a 7-5 job and doesn't like it bc it doesn't pay as good as it should be (his boss is stealing money out of the worker's paychecks)

he wants to work a higher paying job (specifically the job Lauren works at)

Lauren:

the family actually does good bc her job pays a good amount

she's the real household leader (she's a tough love kind of mom)

great at cooking

works as a school teacher (the school is a good school and pays more)

Amy:

she lives in San Antonio and works as a pediatrician

when she visits, she helps her mom cook

her husband, will, is actually a really cool dude

Nathaniel:

goes by "nate"

he's actually a closeted gay person, and despite the fact that he's never told anyone, madison knows

the boy he likes is Matthew Anderson, the captain of the schools basketball team

he's also on the basketball team

Madison:

she's a twenty one pilots fan

she's the one who got bailey to listen to twenty one pilots music

she actually never has been to a concert, until her mom bought two tickets (one for Madison and one for bailey) to the Clancy world tour show

she knows abt nate's sexuality because she read his journal, which had entires (like diary entries) that talked abt how much nate liked matthew, pictures of nate and matthew hanging out together, and drawings of matthew (it's all about matthew with you HUH NATHANIEL?)

she yaps about her obsessions a lot lol

Aaron:

he's a silly goober

likes playing Minecraft with nate and matthew (yes matthew comes over sometimes, mainly to do school projects with nate)

has a teddy bear with a red bowtie named Fuzzy

he brings Fuzzy everywhere he goes (yes, even school. he keeps Fuzzy in his backpack)

[urmom-richietozier1]

My ghostbusters fan made character

Chrissy (Chris) Sharkey

Chrissy/ Chris is 17.

A ghost :3

Close friends with Lauren, rin, kalani and some others

Not close with Trevor (at all)

They're obsessed with the grunge 90s style.

They loves nirvana sm.

They're aroace.

They meet lived in Northern Ireland from when she was born until she was 13 then she moved to summervile. And her parents moved to NYC.

She lived with her brother in summervile

They skateboards almost everywhere.

Like they'll not take any other mode of transport thing unless it would take to long to get there.

They used to be blonde but died their hair at home with her brother one time when they were 14 to a brown.

When she was 17 (rn) she died her hair half black and half blonde

They write music, and plays guitar and drums.

Their in a band called "The ghouls"

They want to be a famous band when they're older.

Their parents are not alive (poor baby) they died when she was 14/15

Has an older brother that they live with. He's 26.

They are obsessed with abandoned places.

When they had no friends the one place they would hang out it an abandoned house. Where they swear she saw ghost there.

They once was on a late night skate when she saw Phoebe and Melody together. But they didn't say anything to anyone.

Ships Phoelody 100%

Musical obsessed!!!!!

Like has watched every single musical!!

Loves reading mystery books or romance books.

Horror move manic!

Hopefully yall like them:3

[futfemfantasies]

Prompt List:

Hey everyone! 

I have some ideas and who they are for but I want to see which ones you all want. If you want to suggest anyone else or make a change to the prompt, I’m happy for that! Or even if you have a prompt not on the list, send it through :)

Request the number and player and I’ll write it as soon as I can :)

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

1. “I see us in front of an altar one day”  Lucy Bronze

2. Y/N dedicates a song to _______ at her concert after just coming out  Sam Kerr

3. Asking for permission to kiss Alex Morgan

4. Casual intimacy - baths, washing each others hair, soft kisses Leah Williamson

5. Prohibited kisses - hands in hair and others on waist, lower bodies pressing into each other Patri Guijarro

6. “Can you repeat that? My brain hasn’t woken up yet”

7. “They’re just a friend, I swear”

8. “You’re my best friend! We shouldn’t, I shouldn’t be feeling like this. Fuck!” Alanna Kennedy

9. “Come to bed”

10. “Go home _____” “I’m already home”

11. Flower crown making on a picnic date Christen Press

12. World Cup proposal. Reader plays for England or USA and is dating _____ Sam Kerr

13. “I didn’t know who to call” Reader gets broken up with and seeks comfort in _______

14. Reader not healing from her mother’s death (Christen Press’ younger sister). ________

15. Barcelona team go to a Chinese restaurant and readers fortune cookie reads ‘Don’t let the one good thing in your life slip away’. _______ reads ‘your true love is around you’. At the hotel, reader and ______ link pinkies behind the group and share a kiss when they wait for a new elevator since the team filled them all up.

16. Reader joined Barca in 2017 and grew close to ________. Ended up being together for lockdown. Reader goes to Australia for national team camp and gets teased by Sam, Macca, Caitlin and Steph etc. Reader and ______ talk about coming out / what photos to use. _____ posts first then reader follows. Teasing by the team starts again after photos are posted. Mapi Leon

17. Reader is injured and she knows __________ wants to surf when she’s home so she re-waxes her surfboard as a surprise

18. Reader is quarantining with _________ when Australia wins the World Cup in 2020. It’s early in the morning and reader yells and screams, waking up ______.

19. Reader is going on a ‘date’ but knows _______ is in love with them. ________ helps pick out an outfit for the ‘date’ but reader wears it on their first date.

20. Alex Morgan little sister (5 years younger) - dating ________. Alex finds you two making out after a national team friendly - USA vs _________. Alex ‘threatens’ _________.

21. Reader singing One Less Lonely Girl to _________ on the bus on a long trip from a game to announce their relationship. Lucy Bronze

22. _________ surprising reader (Leah’s older sister) at Arsenal. Reader scores in the 90+5 minute, sending Arsenal to the Champions league final.

23. I Wish - One direction (sad fic) Leah Williamson

24. All Of The Girls You’ve Loved Before - Taylor Swift (reader dedicates this to __________ at their concert) - reader’s first time saying they’ve fallen for _______. 

25. Reader cooking for _______ for the first time and it’s really good.

26. “I could kiss you right now” “You’re very welcome to do it”  Reader scores an important goal in an important game.

27. “I haven’t felt like this in a long time and I’m scared”

28. “I think you’re parents may like me even more than you”  _________ meets readers parents for the first time due to covid.

29. “I didn’t want to tell you like this, but I have no choice”

30. “I miss you” “It’s just temporary” 

31. “They all reminded me of different parts of you so I got one of each” Reader can’t decide on one type of flower so the florist makes a bouquet with all different flowers from around the shop.

32. “Was that your way of asking me to marry you?” Reader is a singer and writes ‘That Part by Lauren Spencer Smith’.  Leah Williamson // Millie Bright

[bad268]

In honour of u predicting Arvids wins this weekend I have a request for u 😭😭

If possible could it be a kind of part 2 to passenger princess but if not its fine

Anyways his gf comes to Silverstone and he has this great weekend and prema says she's good luck and is saying she needs to come to every race now and reader starts to get shy and blush and arvid is like "yea she is"

His Good Luck Charm (Arvid Lindblad X Reader)

Fandom: RPF/F2/F3

Requested: Clearly (don't tell me i predicted it lol don't make me more delulu)

Warnings: Aged up Arvid

POV: Third Person (She/her)

W.C. 909

Summary: Maybe Arvid's "secret girlfriend" is a good luck charm.

As always, my requests are OPEN

MASTERLIST // HITLIST

<-Part 1

~~(^@/Arvid’s insta from May 26, 2024)

It was her first race. She had a general idea of what to expect, but this was so much more than she ever could have imagined for Arvid. When he won the sprint, she was over the moon! Her first race attending with Arvid, and he wins? Hell yeah! She knew that the feature race would be harder since he was starting down in tenth place, but she jokingly told him that if anyone could do it, he could. Then, he won the feature. To say she was ecstatic was an understatement. 

She ran out of the garage with the rest of the Prema team to Parc Ferme and straight up to the gate where Arvid would pull up behind the first-place slot. She was pushed up against the barriers by the team and she knew he would run and jump into his team. Well, she wasn’t exactly prepared to be almost knocked over by him when he jumped over the gate almost entirely on top of her. Thankfully, the team caught him and tried their best to redistribute the weight.

“Hey don’t crush our good luck charm!” Rene chuckled as he pulled her over to not be completely covered by Arvid’s body. “We need her in Hungary!”

“Woah woah!” She interrupted in protest when all of the team erupted in agreement, “I didn’t say I was doing a world tour! I still have school!” She felt her face grow hot under the newfound attention from the team. The team quieted down as they all looked at her, letting Arvid stand on his own, so he could wrap his arms around her separately. She felt like she was under a spotlight as she turned into his chest before whispering, “I just came for his home race.”

“She is our good luck charm,” Arvid chuckled, looking down at her as she hid further into his chest as she shivered. From more attention or the weather, he didn’t know. He wrapped his arms around her tighter as he ran a hand along her arm to help her heat up as he turned to look back at his team. “She has her studies though. I’m sure she’ll make an appearance another time this season. We still have plenty of races, and I’d rather save her charm for races we need the luck in.”

“I second that,” Dino said as he came up to the group after he parked his car and got weighed in. “Maybe next time, I can get some better luck!”

“I make no promises,” She mumbled before pulling away from Arvid so he could go up for the podium celebration. She gave him a brief kiss before he was ushered away, and she split off with the rest of the team towards the podium. She stood beside Dino, Gabriele, Sebastian, Luke Laurens, Tim, and the rest of the team as they all cheered when their friends walked out. When Arvid came out, she threw everything out the window as she screamed to her heart’s content. She shouted with a laugh at the end, “That’s my boyfriend!” 

The rest of the boys around her join in with similar shouts about Arvid being her’s or they were claiming Arvid as their friend. As soon as he was announced, they all started in it together, causing Arvid to look straight at them and laugh. He blew a kiss to his girlfriend as he tripped on his way up to the top step, smiling sheepishly before taking his hat off for his anthem. Arvid stood proudly on the top step in front of his people for the second time this weekend as he muttered the lyrics of his national anthem. 

Toward the end, he looked down at his friends, his team, and most importantly, his good luck charm. His girlfriend, who was already looking up at him with tears in her eyes, stood with the rest of the crowd, staring up at him with so much endearment and love. She was beyond proud of him every week, but this was a different feeling for both of them.

After the podium celebrations and after pictures were taken, he ran down the stairs. There she was, waiting for him right off the side with her arms open. Arvid did not hesitate as he immediately handed his trophy and leftover champagne to his engineer as he ran into her arms. He swung her around a couple of times before gently setting her back down and just swayed with her as he buried his face in her neck. 

“I’m so proud of you,” She said softly as she planted a kiss below his ear. She pressed her hands more against his shoulders. “You drove amazingly this weekend. Maybe I’ll let you drive Baby.”

“You’d let me drive Baby?” Arvid gasped, pulling away slightly to look at her. Her face held a level of seriousness that Arvid decided to snatch up. “I’m driving us to celebrate tonight.”

“Works for me, but if you’re drinking, I’ll drive us home,” She chuckled as Arvid turned out to lead them toward the car park. She pulled out the chain-filled keys to her beloved Honda Civic from her pocket before holding them out to him with a mock sigh, “I guess you’ll need these.”

“I’m breaking so many laws,” He mumbled as he ran off to the driver's side, completely leaving her in the dust.

“Hey! Where is my passenger princess treatment?”

~~~~~

© BAD268 2024. DO NOT REPOST WITHOUT PERMISSION.

[mysterious-moonstruck-musings]

Destiny & Deliverance: Chapter 26 Teaser

Destiny & Deliverance Masterlist ||| Dieter Bravo X OFC

A/N: Good afternoon, friends! Your official Chapter 26 teaser is here!

I have a progress update for you today! I am a little over halfway finished with this chapter. It is going to be a loooonger one, which I am sure you all won't be to upset about. I may actually have to push a small amount of it back to Chapter 27... just to have a nice stopping point (here I go extending things again). I plan to finish it up this weekend and have it to you all early next week. 😁

You will not be getting a Deconstructing Dieter Bravo post for this chapter, but I do have one planned for Chapter 27 in addition to a Today's Musings post to discuss some revelations about Talia. 😉 Now go forth and share your thoughts and predictions based on the mood board for this chapter and the TWO snippets below. I also shared another snippet for WIP Wednesday. You can find that HERE if you missed it.

Series Rating: Explicit (18+)

Series Summary: Natalia Cohen is experiencing major life changes, beginning with leaving an emotionally abusive husband. She is learning how to navigate life on her own while dealing with high functioning anxiety, depression, and mild PTSD. Everything is looking up for her. She is a highly respected consultant for a major LA firm, has her best friend, Lauren, by her side, and is on her path to healing. Everything changes when she meets a handsome and broken stranger on a work trip. He turns out to be a well-known actor, with a heart-breaking past. They quickly develop a connection that will forever alter their lives. 

Warnings: Themes dealing with mental health, emotional trauma, alcohol use, and discussions about suicide. There will be fluff, tears, spicy language, and smut. This will be a slow burn type of story. Read at your own risk.

Tag List: @rhoorl @bitchwitch1981 @readingiskeepingmegoing @runningmom94 @for-a-longlongtime @hisandsnakes @chaoticfestninja @survivingandenduring @partyofone3413 @wannab-urs @cakipy-blog @titlee78 @poodlebae @guelyury @missladym1981 @maried01 @alokaerza @samiamproductions @misstokyo7love @themonadiaries-blog @madnessofadaydreamer @darkheartgatita @avastrasposts @weho2kcmo @harriedandharassed @tkchaos @girlofchaos @yghuibt @musings-of-a-rose

Let me know in the comments below if you would like to be added to the tag list.