#LAUGHS SELF SICK

[pseudolife-archived4]

Birdie Monroe is an over-sharer, and the type of girl to wear her heart on her sleeve and even point it out to others. She talks, and she talks, and mostly its to ease the comfort of others around her - they wouldn't have to share private details as long as she was, they wouldn't have to suffer the awkwardness of small talk as long as she was the one talking - but a part of it is also a defense mechanism. The information she shares freely is nonsense, usually mostly babble or things that people could find out on their own just from looking at her - she's kind, she's bubbly, she's got a softness about her that the world seemingly hasn't ripped apart yet.

Birdie talks so she doesn't have to acknowledge her own troubles - the life she's running from and the people in it, the horrors she's seen, the empty space that was once filled by a twin. The weight of guilt, and shame, over the fact that as a child she had gotten to live, and her sister had not.

Ghost is perceptive, so she knows better than to let silences run long - he'll begin to notice things if she does. So, she talks. Cheerful and with a big grin, even as he drops words so saturated with sarcasm, they're bleeding it all over her shoes.

"Thank you." Her smile softens to something a little more honest, a little more bashful. His sarcasm still seeping in, but the compliment nice enough that she - she doesn't pretend he's being a jerk again. "...What do you do? Do you do it wearing - wearing that covering? Doesn't it scare people?"

“Ye, the base is pretty loud, huh?” he’s so used to it he must just tune it out. He can’t even really argue that the people in town are insufferable. They’re a healthy mix of civvies and families of the people on base. Hell, Price’s family had lived here at one point - they’d since moved on to fuck know’s where, but he knows that Winona & the kids had enjoyed it while they’d been here. Winnie had sung the town’s praises; she’d said the school district was phenomenal. Simon didn’t think much of it. It was just a place where he lived. Nothing more.

Birdie seems nervous. It’s the only true thing he can observe from her behaviors. Not nervous in the sense of uncomfortable. Maybe restless was a better word for it. He was no expert, but the fidgeting and almost overbearing need to share more was striking. It’s a nice thing she’s talking about doing. Ghost almost wishes for a moment that he could relate, but he’d never really been so kind - sans the time spent nursing his brother back to health. He hears the drop in her voice, the respect in the action noted. “That’s a kind thing to do. Bet she appreciates the company too.”

He shakes his head at her question. “Nah, can’t say it’s strange. I’m kinda doin’ it for a living in my own way,” he muses, though his tone reflects heavy sarcasm. He’s never thought highly of his profession like that. He can’t criticize her for wanting to help. He’d been there once upon a time - it was long since passed now. “It’s…nice. It’s a nice thing for you to be doing..”

[anoant-haikyuu-dump]

GIRLKYUUUU

[anisecandy]

A VERY rare political rant. I might delete it later, because really, that's not what I want to post on Tumblr, but gosh, I need to get this off my chest.

Seeing people just- treat communism as a viable alternative to capitalism and, in general, current affairs gets on my nerves SO badly as a Polish person. My parents have been alive during communism, and you know what? IT SUCKED. There was no poverty... people had money. And no way to spend it. To get something of value you needed ration cards. Meat? Ration cards. Sweets? Ration cards. Alcohol? Ration cards. Flour, rice, shoes? You've guessed it! Ration cards. And the shops were empty, I do mean empty. Nothing on the shelves a lot of the time. The only way to get anything, and I do mean anything, you didn't get what you wanted, just whatever was delivered at the moment, was standing for hours, and hours and hours in queques or having a good relationship with a clerk, then maybe, maybe they could have kept a little meat for you under the counter. My grandparents have a piano they got because they went to a town over to get a washing machine and were waiting to no end and that was the only thing they managed to get. The central planning was disorganized and unable to realistically meet the needs of the civilians. For example, people got assigned flats by the government - neat! After waiting 7, 10 and more years for it. And that's communism when it's nice. Have you ever heard about the Ukrainian Famine? Boom, 3.5 to 5 million victims. Lovely! Gulag? 60 million deaths! (edit: that's based on the source which estimates the highest death count) "Oh but that's not real communism, the principles of it are actually-" NO. No, that's the exact same argument people give when they're arguing in favor of capitalism. There's only the ideology as it functions in the real world, not the ideal that was conceived. And communism? Communism is a nightmare.

[trekkele]

i saw a post (that was part of a larger thing) that said “anger feels good” and no it doesn’t! I hate how anger makes me feel i hate how it sinks into you and sticks and makes everything and everyone an enemy, everything and everyone someone to hurt and to blame. Anger doesn’t feel good it feels easy and its so easy to sit in it and let it control you and having to claw at your own ribcage to get it out it is so hard, its so fucking hard, and sometimes you’re so tired and you just want it to be easy, just once, just let that anger sit and let it be easy

I don’t have a point here, i just. Anger is easy. Easy doesn’t get shit done around here.

[mikotobackbreaker]

Oh no no nooooooo not me just wanting to shield and protect everyone who even remotely reminds me of Mikoto (in system and to a degree externally) because I know it hurts so so much.. what is wrong with me

Cuz like. You DON'T have to keep it in and hide it away! I DO got this, leave it to me if you can! But you can't leave it to me. Because it's yours. And all these feelings are scary, heavy emotions. It's like I'm screaming from behind a wall. An intimidating, burning love for people I don't know who don't know me.

I want to understand everything. That's all I want. How did this happen to all of us? My sorrys aren't for anyone in particular and won't reach anyone really, but I'm sorry. I'm sorry.

[simcardiac-arrested]

once again sorry to everyone for bringing this to your dashboards. but some of you are like, genuinely delirious. not even in a funny way. & i hope you die. i hope we both die. hand in unlovable hand etc etc

[senseiwu]

I'm sorry but the "I am.a surgeon" meme.makes me feel sick

And the fact that people who have no clue whats going on act like dr han is some "chad" and not an ableist jerk

[loveydoveylex]

ray is the type of guy to dote on me to the moon and back when I get sick - to the point where he risks getting himself sick as well because he'll insist on staying with me and taking care of me and that almost always ends up with him snuggled up to me and kissing me all over lol

[thatlittledandere]

The StrangeAeons Dashcon video got me crying why are people so mean? I'm sick with envy at the people who got to meet their internet friends for the first time and made new ones. Aside from That One Incident lots of people had lots of fun there! Can't you appreciate having fun!! Mutuals who wants to meet up at Dashcon 2 this is a genuine question I'm looking into traveling visas and shit

[kurjakani]

2 be clear i don't think it's very kind to tell strangers they look sick/unwell

[burymeinwillow]

-

[gregoftom]

gross

[apollo-zero-one]

Man I can't believe I had the chance to go to a performing arts school up through middle school and I fuckin quit after 6 months just because I got bullied. BRO YOUR HOMEWORK WAS POETRY!! YOU HAD TO PRACTICE DANCING TO COTTON EYE JOE AS YOUR BIG UNIT TEST. GYM CLASS HAD A CIRCUS UNIT!! YOU HAD A WHOLE DAILY CLASS ON IMPROV!!! YOU FOOL!! YOU ABSOLUTE IMBICILE!! YOU COULD HAVE BEEN A YOUTUBER!!! YOU COULD HAVE BEEN ONE OF THOSE TWEENAGERS GETTING LOADED BY MAKING SHITTY YOUTUBE SHORTS IN 2008-14!! But noooOoooOOOoo little miss Noellie (who WANTED TO GO!! who worked SO HARD and sent in an application essay and did an INTERVIEW to get in!!) couldn't handle disruptive classmates or little scuffles and petty grudges and general Attitude of the other students and cried to mommy to put her back in public school. I am EATING MY HAIR over what Could Have Been. I COULD BE SOMEONE'S ANNOYING YOUTUBER!! I could be a DISGRACED DISNEY CHANNEL STAR!! I could be an America's Got Talent winner! A mild to moderately successful comedian! I could be making short films!! But no no no precious thin skinned baby me heard a few new cus words and watched a teacher get heckled and begged to give up The Dream in favor of?? Quiet math tests?? I am such a fucking quitter I quit everything the second it gets too hard I always take the out as soon as it's offered what's my fucking damage.....

[misslobotomy]

𝓢𝓪𝔀 𝓜𝓲𝓽𝓼𝓴𝓲! 𝓘 𝔀𝓪𝓼(𝓼𝓽𝓲𝓵𝓵 𝓪𝓶) 𝓼𝓲𝓬𝓴 𝓸𝓷 𝓶𝔂 𝓫𝓲𝓻𝓽𝓱𝓭𝓪𝔂. 𝓖𝓻𝓮𝓪𝓽 𝓫𝓲𝓻𝓽𝓱𝓭𝓪𝔂 𝔀𝓮𝓮𝓴..

[nerdynikki94]

SUNNYBLR: So, I know that if I have a reputation for anything as of late, it would probably be for my Rob-Hating-Rants about how (imo), he's done a great disservice to Mac's identity as a gay man.

This has been misconstrued before, and recently was again with a reblog of one of said posts:

Despite acknowledging 1000 times over that I do understand the humor/satire of the show, often I'm accused of not 'getting the point'.

I get the point, trust me. I've been watching this show consistently for well over a decade (& I'm nearly 30; so, I've always been aware/analytical enough to realize that these characters are objectively awful - it's intentionally written that way). That is not where my issue with the writing lies.

Mac may be my baby, but he's an immensely flawed individual. There really is no shortage of terrible qualities that he possesses: he's arrogant, crass, delusional, ignorant, obnoxious, prejudiced, rude, stubborn, tactless, etc. (We all know there's many more fucked up characteristics to his personality) Still, once he came out, the majority of the focus for his flaws surround his sexuality. (Since S12...)

-Mac making his sexuality his entire personality.

-Mac never sincerely showing honest romantic/sexual attraction unless he is exhibiting the 'predatory gay' stereotypes.

-Mac becoming a spineless doormat who happily takes heaps of verbal (& sometimes physical) abuse regarding his sexuality.

-Mac constantly trying to reduce his sexuality by subscribing to constricting stereotypes.

-Mac's sexuality being a characteristic of his personality that he has to receive gang acceptance/approval for (i.e. Frank in MFHP & FVR).

-Mac struggling with reconciling his religion and his sexuality (even 5+ years later) and continuing to be made fun of for grappling w/ongoing internalized religious homophobia.

-Mac's sexuality being used as a constant punchline to countless jokes. (I.E. S16E1 - Running blowjob joke. Funny in context; still using as reference because no one has ever made fun of Dee for sucking dick - because she's a 'straight' woman.)

As I've said too many times before, I know these characters are fucked up and I love them for it. I've never expected them to become benevolent individuals or upstanding role models. They wouldn't be the gang if they were. However, I do and will continue to have a problem with Mac's sexuality being the focal point of his shortcomings or being the cause for any suffering he continues to withstand.

These characters are meant to be punished for their greed, abysmal self-centered behavior, and detestable qualities; so, why is Mac's character still being punished for being gay? The gang is ashamed of him for it, & as the show only centers on them - their dynamics, opinions, schemes - it consistently carries the tone that it is something Mac should also be ashamed of; as if he hadn’t already spent the first 40 years of his life in self-loathing because of it.

Mac is NOT a gay role model, obviously; but that doesn't mean his character should be settled into being a gay joke.

[nohkalikai]

pretend i'm oversharing here