#Kuwto

[olympushit]

New episode of Keeping up with the Olympians will be updated on Sunday! I haven't updated in a long time, so I suggest you go read the last episode and then read the new one!

Stay stuned for more drama and unholliness!

[silencehq]

vamos ter mais Keeping Up with the Olympians??

Sim, vamos! Primeiro vamos ter uma Espiadinha da TVH que vai ser importante para o plot, depois o KUWTO que é uma descontração. Para fins de curiosidade depois seria o Terapia Familiar, mas para esse os semideuses vão ser convidados a sugerir temas envolvendo seus parentes divinos e vamos sortear alguns.

[olympustalk]

oi, deuses, muito bom dia! não sei se já falaram sobre o assunto no blog, até porque não acompanho assiduamente e às vezes me perco com tantas asks que respondem, mas preciso desabafar sobre algo: personagens menores de idade interpretados por adultos.

sempre que um adulto resolve jogar com um personagem adolescente cometem dois erros básicos. ou fazem pessoas com 17 anos e agem como tivessem 12, ou fazem pessoas com 17 anos e querem fazer coisas como se eles tivessem 25. parece que eles não conseguem encontrar um equilíbrio entre a idade dada ao personagem e o que pode ou não fazer.

pode parecer que estou fazendo tempestade em copo d'água, mas é cansativo. eu não consigo mais entrar em comunidades que aceitam personagens menores de idade justamente por isso. larguei de mão as comunidades de harry potter por conta dessa problemática. é, eu sei que adolescentes têm vida sexual, fazem coisas erradas, mas não é dessa forma que tem que acontecer em rpg também. no final, apesar da "maturidade", são MENORES DE IDADE. então é isso aí. só resumo tudo em: se querer transar, fazer conexões românticas, pelo menos usem personagens maiores de idade pra isso. é o mínimo!!!! #paz

Boa noite, meu caro ou minha cara mortal sem nome! Por incrível que pareça, apesar de termos uma tag dedicada especificamente à experiência de escritores menores de idade jogando RPG, o tópico da criação e desenvolvimento de personagens menores de idade por escritores adultos é muito mais raro e, por isso, sua mensagem nos trouxe uma conversa fascinante.

Então, vamos por parte...

※ Adolescentes existem?! Que raios você está falando?

Um fato interessante, a nível de comparação mesmo, é que, diferente de na tag "geral", as oportunidades de cadastrar personagens menores de idade no asianrp são praticamente nulas. O primeiro motivo que consigo pensar é a falta de materiais com foco em personagens adolescentes que atraiam tanto a tag asiática quanto Harry Potter e Percy Jackson o fazem com a tag ocidental. O máximo que teríamos é alguém propondo algo inspirado em The Heirs, mas a diferença da própria mídia entre esses já é discrepante.

Do jeito que o pessoal da tag asiática gosta de saturar propostas acadêmicas, pela quantidade de universidades que existem, dá pra imaginar que teria pelo menos uma ou duas que aborda o período colegial, certo? Pois é, não mesmo. Alguns RPGs slice of life permitem o cadastro de personagens menores de idade, mas mesmo entre esses, não é uma garantia. E mesmo que essa parte não esteja escrita nas regras, tenho certeza de que muitos jogadores saberiam explicar por si mesmos ou entenderiam quando digo que as coisas são assim porque a tag asiática se conhece bem e sabe que há uma grande procura por plots românticos/sexuais nas comunidades, sem contar os constantes flertes com propostas e desenvolvimentos caóticos - ou seja, envolvendo violência, traumas e outros temas mais sombrios. Então, para garantir que esses personagens menores de idade não estejam sendo escritos de forma inapropriada, o que seria melhor do que proibir a existência deles no RPG? Ha! Atena ficaria com inveja dessa genialidade.

※ "Act your age"... Mas nós somos um bando de adultos que ainda joga ou fala sobre RPG, your honor.

Eu não sei se entendi direito o que você quis dizer quando falou sobre os "dois erros básicos" que cometem quando criam personagens adolescentes mas, pela descrição, me pareceu uma frustração com dois aspectos: personalidade e comportamentos. E mais curioso ainda, você logo se respondeu, quando disse: "Eu sei que adolescentes têm vida sexual, que fazem coisa errada, mas não é dessa forma que tem que acontecer em RPG também." Então, se você sabe, qual a surpresa? Uma coisa que eu entendo que pode ser chata e que pode até ser o verdadeiro ponto da sua mensagem ao invés de um simples incômodo com personagens adolescentes fazendo merda, é como quase todos os escritores parecem explorar o desenvolvimento desses personagens da mesma forma, se jogando de cabeça em estereótipos nada saudáveis. Caso a maioria de nós aqui nessa tag não fosse adulto e, consequentemente, não tivesse passado pela sua adolescência já, eu diria que alguns aprenderam sobre essa etapa assistindo Rebelde, Elite, Riverdale ou sei lá, porque como assim você não foi preso durante o colegial? Cringe.

※ Como escrever um adolescente de forma mais realista, então?

Resposta simples, não há um modelo.

Assim como nem todo adulto é maduro e responsável, nem todo adolescente é imaturo e irresponsável, por isso é completamente possível encontrar pessoas de 17 que vão te fazer pensar: "Cruzes, essa pessoa age como se tivesse 12 / 25 ao invés de 17..."

Você pode escrever um adolescente com qualquer personalidade, mesmo um paquerador e impulsivo, mas há pontos que são importantes de considerar para o desenvolvimento não parecer tão superficial e caricato.

Experiências de vida e habilidades. Pra onde ele foi, quem ele conheceu e o que ele aprendeu até ali? Tirando casos onde temos os famigerados "prodígios", na fase da adolescência você ainda é iniciante ou intermediário em muitas coisas que um dia podem vir a se tornar sua expertise, você se engana sobre as pessoas e sobre as regras do mundo que parecem claras, até você descobrir que não.

Independência e responsabilidade. Considero esse ponto autoexplicativo. Mesmo como adolescentes, alguns se veem na posição onde adquirem independência mais cedo - às vezes não por opção, importante destacar - e logo se tornam mais responsáveis, pode ser apenas em relação a si mesmos, para se proteger de maiores problemas, ou então em relação aos outros também, querendo protegê-los de problemas que eles não reconhecem.

Círculo social. Porque nesse momento, mais do que nunca, as pessoas são influenciadas pelos círculos aos quais pertencem ou querem pertencer. Queremos urgente, desesperadamente nos sentir parte de algo, ou nos tornar mais próximos do que vemos como um ideal. Assim, um aspecto interessante de explorar dentro disso são as inseguranças desse personagem.

Expectativas sociais. Comentei antes, quando falei da construção de personagens adultos mais velhos (+30), sobre como eles são atravessados pelas expectativa de como um adulto deve se comportar e o quê ele é esperado alcançar, apenas por ser um adulto. Por exemplo, estabilidade financeira, relacionamento estável, filhos, sucesso profissional... Pois então, adolescentes enfrentam as mesmas batalhas, mas nesse caso diria que fica divido entre "ser esperado que não se comportem mais como uma criança" e "não ser considerado um adulto em qualquer sentido". As habilidades deles são subestimadas, suas opiniões costumam não ser levadas a sério e ter algum histórico de rebeldia é uma previsão, afinal "todos eles têm suas fases", não é? (Ironia.)

Essa foi uma das coisas que consegui pensar e, olha, essa conversa me deixou ambos pensativo e aliviado por não ser mais adolescente, não que a próxima fase seja muito melhor...

[hestias-warm-hearth-blog]

Hello Hestia! I was wondering why you gave up your seat for Dionysus? You are the eldest god after all.

Well, I’m only the eldest out of me, Hades, Zeus, Posiedon, Hera, and Demeter, the others are my darling nephews and nieces, I gave him my seat because no matter what the hearth will always be respected and given tribute before and after the ‘seated’ gods and darling Di’ would get more use and joy out of it than me, I do fill in for him every now and then though, usually when he’s too hungover to move bless him~

[stripeydani]

Attn: Parle Fans

Yes I have made a tumblr/ask blog for Apollo.

You can find it here.

At the moment my webcam is far too shit to take decent responses to questions and such, but I will be gathering inspiration there. 

Also that is where you can also find the occasional Artemis post... she doesn’t have a tumblr for reasons you will discover when the show is released ;D 

[olympushit]

New episode on Keeping up with the Olympians is coming soon! Stay tuned! On the weekend we will have episode 7!

[hephaestus-work-shop]

((You little shit xDD ))

[olympustalk]

Criação e sustento de um personagem: Pontos relevantes na hora de escrever e manter um plot.

Antes de mais, gostaria de ressaltar que todo este KUWTO tem como base a minha perceção de escrita e desenvolvimento, ou seja, nada do que aqui for dito é regra, apenas ideias que julgo serem pertinentes.

Muitos de nós temos alguma dificuldade na hora da criação do nosso herói/heroína. Quando aplicando para uma comunidade simplista e sem muito desenvolvimento (típico slice of life), não existe a necessidade de escrever um plot muito elaborado – pois a própria comunidade não o pede –, mas está a nosso critério o fazer ou não; o que não é algo positivo ou negativo dentro desse determinado mundo fictício mais simples. Mas quase sempre há aquela percentagem que gosta de criar algo um pouco mais elaborado, ou chocante, inovador, ou simplesmente um pouco diferente. De onde vem a intenção ou para onde ela deve ser aplicada não é o ponto focal deste KUWTO, o que aqui quero mostrar são minhas ideias e pensamentos sobre como um personagem pode ser criado, desde o seu início como indivíduo fictício, até possíveis comportamentos e consequentemente o próprio desenvolvimento.

1. O personagem do rpg: por onde começar?

Ter como ponto de partida a síntese principal do plot ou o face claim é o primeiro passo de todos. Caso você tenha um face claim em mente, convém criar um plot em torno do que pode encaixar-se nele ou vice-versa. Com base no que já fiz e na pequeníssima pesquisa pelo panteão, a dica que dou é começar pelo plot (nem que seja por pequenas ideias vagas) e posteriormente escolher o face claim, uma vez que o processo contrário pode gerar ideias mais abstratas e confusas. But anyway, você decide o que funciona melhor no seu caso, o importante é manter esse equilíbrio entre fazer um dependente do outro e não algo que não se interligue.

O segundo passo já tem a ver com a intenção do seu projeto. Com base no seu plot, ou nas ideias principais dele (caso ainda não esteja completo) tente pensar no que você quer para o seu personagem ao longo da sua jornada, se este tem algum final desejado por você, etc. Você quer apenas jogar sem muita preocupação? Você quer que seu herói seja punido ou simplesmente quer deixar fluir o desenvolvimento e seja lá o que possa acontecer? Por exemplo, você cria alguém que tem uma personalidade desprezível e má e que o final é certamente o karma. Você saberá interpretar melhor se souber essas pequenas caraterísticas do seu protagonista, mesmo que a comunidade feche antes de poder atingir seu objetivo (realidade dos dias de hoje KKKK).

1.2 O plot: pesquisa e elaboração.

Se optar por uma história simples e mais crua, não há muito o que eu possa dizer, afinal é um trabalho mais fácil e quase ninguém tem dificuldades em tal. Contudo, caso haja demora e stress em pensar num background, aconselho a pesquisar por alguns prompts (na possibilidade de estarem interessados, podemos fazer um KUWTO com alguns).

Se o desejo é uma maior elaboração, leia com atenção o que irei pontuar! Seja responsável com assuntos delicados. Não acredito que haja limites para a ficção, deixo já claro, mas dependendo do assunto abordado, há que ter responsabilidade e respeito pelo que está sendo feito. Personagens com problemas psicológicos são dos mais interessantes (my opinion) e consequentemente dos mais difíceis de criar e, principalmente, manter. Você tem de fazer seu trabalho primário, a pesquisa, a qual não precisa ser nenhum TCC, apenas reúna informação o suficiente para que seja claro que você entende – pelo menos – a superfície da situação. Seguido disso, é essencial manter e sustentar o seu plot. Não aja contrário ao que foi dito na sua ficha a não ser que já tenha ocorrido um desenvolvimento que levou para tal mudança. Seja coerente, imagine que você realmente está escrevendo o restante da história do seu plot, mas na prática.

Aos que escolhem personagens com histórias traumáticas, lembrem-se que essas situações geram traumas, e traumas raramente são curados. Aliás, comportamentos agregados a esses traumas também não se dissolvem da noite para o dia ou só com a interação do seu amiguinho da timeline; deixe claro que seu personagem está fazendo algo para os ultrapassar (caso queira que sejam ultrapassados, obviamente). Selfpara é uma ótima opção para relatar isso.

2. O personagem em desenvolvimento.

Agora que já temos a massa feita, vamos colocar o bolo no forno. Lembre-se do que eu disse no ponto anterior; seu personagem tem de sustentar o que foi escrito no plot! Não adianta dizer que ele é alguém frio e calculista e você agir como um palhaço na timeline, certo? Se você eventualmente decidir que quer ser mais engraçado tenha em mente que seu personagem tem de evoluir para esse tipo de comportamento, algo natural e genuíno.

Um detalhe que poucos falam quando mencionam a parte do desenvolvimento é a interação com os outros jogadores. Pode parecer “off” mas a maneira com que você escreve diz muito sobre o seu personagem. Se ele é alguém clamado inteligente e calmo, tenha atenção na sua escrita, convém que seja um pouco mais cuidadosa. E por cuidadosa não digo o básico de respeitar pontuação e letras maiúsculas/minúsculas, estou me referindo ao uso de certas palavras e tons. “Claro!” e “Com certeza.” têm o mesmo significado, mas você pode sentir a diferença na entoação. E isto também vale para os personagens que são mais animados e/ou engraçados. A plataforma usada pode ser uma rede social, mas é o único “plano” de convivência entre os personagens, então não podemos agir como se fosse literalmente uma rede social do mundo real.

Isto me obriga a pressionar o assunto da escrita que deveria ser a normal no rpg. “O básico de respeitar pontuação e letras maiúsculas/minúsculas” tem de ser uma caraterística sua, como jogador, e não do seu personagem. Escrever errado não é um traço de personalidade, meu caro, mostra apenas desleixo e tudo o que tente justificar isso é desculpa de preguiçoso. Vamos, não é assim tão difícil escrever bonitinho, isso até vai te ajudar em OOC. Acredite que já vi o prejuízo que escrever abreviado e afins traz para os que jogam no rp.

“Mas Ares, não sou nenhum Machado de Assis.”

Nunca disse que era necessário. Estou me referindo ao básico do básico da escrita. Eu, pessoalmente, sempre perdi muito o interesse quando via personagens desleixados na escrita. Pense que o jogo é o jogo e você está interpretando, mas o mundo real e o mundo do rp não são equivalentes, então é bom manter as diferenças e reforçar o que torna o rpg um jogo de escrita.

3. O peso que o jogador tem sobre o IC.

Mais importante do que tudo que falei é saber diferenciar que você não está em algo real. Saiba separar as coisas, tanto os conflitos IC quanto os temas abordados no jogo. Você pode ser sensível a X coisas então tenha a responsabilidade de saber evitar isso. Mesmo que exista empatia para com o próximo, seus problemas e gatilhos não são culpa nem problema dos outros. Seja consciente em entrar apenas onde você sabe que vai aguentar. Se não tem a certeza e quer experimentar, arrisque, na mínima possibilidade de despertar um gatilho seu, saia imediatamente, pelo seu bem. Reclamar não vai mudar nada e muito menos aliviar seu stress. Cuide de você e da sua saúde mental, mas não espere isso dos outros que estão ali para jogar. Eles não têm culpa, meu caro leitor. Vamos jogar onde nos sentimos bem!

Outra situação recorrente é a não separação das brigas IC; caso isso aconteça ao seu redor, ignore e trate como algo IC. Uma vez que você fizer a sua parte, o resto não irá te incomodar. Lembre-se que tem uma vida fora daqui.

No mais, espero ter ajudado com alguma coisa. Estes são os meus conselhos e para mim nunca falharam. Sempre tive boas experiências jogado (tirando o infortúnio de ter de lidar com uns chatos, mas nada que tenha mudado minha vida OOC). Obrigado por ler!

[macabre-rose]

I'm so damn excited for Keeping Up With The Olympians. Bring on all the Gods.

[roguearcanis]

Did a thing. Woops.

http://ask-aphrodite-xox.tumblr.com/

[hestias-warm-hearth-blog]

Hey there Hestia!! How's the 21st century going for the lovely hearth goddess???

I am enjoying it, I feel like a lot more people are understanding that a Home isn’t just a husband wife and kids, it can be anyone feeling warm and safe with another, but there are things I miss though, communication seems to be mainly technological rather than one to one and as a tactile being I miss seeing and cuddling my wonderful relatives~

[kuwtolife-blog]

Photo of the Day: Finny and Mia Odair

[olympushit]

Keeping up with the Olympians

#kuwto

Episode 7:

Preview: Olympus and the Underworld are a living hell! Zeus and Hera are back to the fighting scene after the "bitch" incident. Poseidon and Amphitrite are in tge same fate as Zeus and Hera, but a little better. Hades decides to take Persephone on a vacation in the unknown lands of the Underworld. Ares and Aphrodite celebrate their union again once and for all, while Apollo falls in love with Hyacinthus. Many more to follow on this unholy episode!

Scene 1: (Zeus and Hera back on Olympus)

Hera: I can't believe you!

Zeus: You act like you don't know me.

Hera: What do you expect me to do?

Zeus: Get over it!

Hera: Really?

Zeus: Why so aggressive?

Hera: You think that's aggressive? I'll show you aggressive!

Zeus: Hera! No! Not the condoms! I need them!

Hera: For what exactly?

Zeus: Oops!

Hera: I'll kill you with my own hands!

Zeus: Catch the thunder bitch!

Zeus' confessional:

Thanks to my thunderbolts I run away this time! But I don't know for how long I can hide from her! Until she finds me, let's seduce this little mortal girl!

Hera's confessional:

He may have run away, but he doesn't know that I have installed a mini tracker on his wedding ring! Hephaestus darling, you are my favorite son! For today at least!

____________

Scene 2: (Poseidon and Amphitrite)

Poseidon: Babe, let's talk it out!

Amphitrite: Did the wall just talk?

Poseidon: Don't act like that!

Amphitrite: Yeah, definitely the wall is talking.

Poseidon: I'll say whatever I have to say and if you want listen to me! I love you more than everything in this world! You are my queen, my equal, my eternal consort, my other half. Without you a day passes awfully slow, painfully alone! My heart calms around you, my soul is screaming your name! If I didn't love you, I wouldn't have chased you so far away from Greece to get you to notice me when you refused my proposal in the very beginning! Please my queen, forgive me!

Amphitrite ready to cry: You mean it Poseidon? You really love me that much?

Poseidon: If I didn't love you, I wouldn't be here now!

Amphitrite: Ok then, I forgive you, but this is the last chance I give you!

Poseidon: I'm forever grateful honey!

Amphitrite's confessional:

I am really moved by Poseidon's words! I can't believe he loves me that much!

Poseidon's confessional:

Thanks goodness Eros wrote down those sweet words I told her! I owe you one nephew!

___________

Scene 3: (Ares, Aphrodite, Hermes and Dionysus)

Ares: I can't believe I got him out of my plate!

Aphrodite: It was about time!

Ares: So, how are we gonna celebrate our reconciliation?

Aphrodite: Let's burn all Apollo's photos!

Ares: Let's paint the curtains red!

Aphrodite: You mean the town red?

Ares: No! The curtains! He hates red curtains!

Aphrodite: That's diabolical!

Ares: Babe, I'm fucking war!

Aphrodite: I love your fierceness baby!

Hermes on the phone behind the door: Apollo, Ares will paint your curtains red-

Ares: Wait! Did you hear that?

Aphrodite moves to open the door and Hermes falls on the floor forward along with Dionysus.

Ares: You stupid ass bitches! What are you doing in my palace?

Hermes: Apollo hung up, they discovered us!

Dionysus:It's not what it looks like!

Aphrodite: Apollo told you to come and spy on us! Traitors! Hermes, I thought we were friends!

Hermes: No no! Apollo has no idea about it! I swear on Styx!

Dionysus: Wow! You suck at telling the truth!

Hermes: I am a professional liar! What did you expect?

Ares: So, if Apollo doesn't know about this, then why are you here?

Dionysus: We care about him, and we wanted to see if this was for real!

Ares: Wow! You are unbelievable!

Hermes: I know I am!

Aphrodite: He wasn't complimenting you!

Hermes: Nevermind.

Ares: Get lost from my palace both of you!

Dionysus: Or else?

Ares: Deimos! Phobos! Hermes said you are lame!

Hermes: What?

Dionysus: Ain't no fucking way!

Hermes: Run for your life!

__________

Scene 4: (Apollo, Hermes, Dionysus)

Apollo's confessional:

I don't care about Ares anymore! Hyacinthus is a real sunshine, a real loyal lover!

Hermes: Apollo! Help!

Apollo: What's wrong? And what were you saying on the phone earlier?

Dionysus: That's not important right now! Deimos and Phobos are on their way here!

Apollo: Oh no! What did you do?

Hermes: We were spying on Ares and he unleashed those two little brats to chase us away from his palace!

Apollo: You idiots! Deimos and Phobos went on vacation with their girlfriends a week ago!

Dionysus: Damn! He is right!

Hermes: We are safe!

Apollo: Ok, what's the matter now?

Hermes: Ares wants to paint your curtains red and burn your photos!

Apollo: Who cares about him? Hyacinthus has my heart now!

Dionysus: Did you overcome it so quickly?

Apollo: Love is the solution to everything!

Hermes: Ok then! So what now?

Apollo: I'll enjoy my life with him!

Dionysus: You know him only for one week!

Apollo: I knew Ares for centuries and this id how it turned out!

Hermes: He has a point there.

Apollo: I'll focus on myself more, I'll think positively amd I'll devote myself on everything that makes me feel happy!

Dionysus: I'm happy for you bro!

Hermes: We will always be there for you!

_____________

Scene 5: (Persephone and Hades)

Persephone's confessional:

Hades told me we will have splendid vacation after our fight. He said he will show me places I have never seen in my life again. I can't wait!

Hades: Babe! Are you ready?

Persephone: Yep!

Hades: Wait, why 3 suitcases?

Persephone: I didn't know where we are going, so I took summer and winter clothes! Shouldn't have I?

Hades: Actually, never mind! Let's go.

Persephone: I don't like that tone Hades. Is something wrong?

Hades: You shouldn't have packed anything.

Persephone: You are right! All we need is one another!

Hades: That's the spirit babe! Now let's go to Tartarus.

Persephone: Tartarus? What are we gonna do there?

Hades: We will go to Tartarus to see the titans.

Persephone: Excuse me?

Hades: After all these years we are together, I find it strange that you haven't shown interest in meeting our ancestors.

Persephone: Are you serious? Cronos swallowed you when you were a baby! Why would I meet him personally?

Hades: There is no interest to your grandfather?

Persephone: He is a scumbag!

Hades: Persephone! Show some respect to my family!

Persephone: Excuse you, but you weren't respectful to my mother when you abducted me!

Hades: That's besides the point!

Persephone: Really? Is that so?

Hades: What else did you expect?

Persephone: I'm outta here!

Hades: You can't go to your mother!

Persephone: Watch me Hades!

____________

Scene 6: (Demeter, Hestia, Hera and Persephone)

Hera's confessional:

After everything that happened with Zeus, I really need my sisters by my side.

Hera: He called me bitch!

Demeter: Who calls someone like that in a sexy way!

Hera: Exactly.

Hestia: That's disgraceful!

Persephone barges into the room crying

Persephone: Mommy!

Demeter: Baby!

Hug scene

Demeter: Why are you crying? Did your shitty man do something stupid?

Persephone: Yeah, he wanted to take me to meet Cronos!

Hera:.....

Hestia:.....

Demeter:......

Persephone: Hey! Tell me something! Why so silent?

Hestia: Well, that's not something weird to me.

Hera: I agree.

Demeter: That's why you are sad?

Persephone: Excuse me, what's wrong with everyone today?

Demeter: He may be a shitty man, but still it is no harm to watch him even from far away. He is our dad afterall.

Persephone: Are you listening to yourself?

Hera: Well, little Persephone, know that all of us have visited our dad over the centuries.

Hestia: He is our dad and thus your grandad. I don't see why not.

Persephone: I'm outta here!

Persephone departs

Hera: Anyways! Where were we?

Hestia: At the bitch topic. But what is to die for was Demeter with Poseidon and Amphitrite fighting!

Hera: Ohhh! What did I lose?

Demeter: I'd rather not talk about it.

Persephone barges again into the room.

Persephone: What happened with Poseidon?

Demeter: Oh dear lord!

Hera: Spit it out sis!

Demeter: We slept together. Amphitrite found out and came here looking for the ankle monitor detector. But Poseidon was also there and we ended up fighting with Hestia swinging your white sheet as a peace flag.

Hera: My white sheet?

Hestia: Did you prefer I took one of Zeus' white underwear instead?

Persephone: What? No! She'll catch gonorrhea!

Hera: What?

Demeter: Darling! That wasn't very nice!

Hera: Run for your miserable life Persephone!

Persephone starts running with Hera following right behind.

Hestia: This week is quite tiring!

Demeter: You tell me!

__________

Scene 7: (Athena, Artemis, Ares)

Athena: Don't tell a single soul, but I stole Ares' shield!

Artemis: Wait! How did you lift it? I thought he was the only one who could lift his shield!

Athena: Nothing escapes my mind!

Artemis: That's why I love you!

Athena: I love you too sis! Now let's take it to Hephaestus!

Artemis: Wait! Why?

Athena: Hephaestus wants to apologize to Ares and we need to help him.

Artemis: I never thought you would help out Ares make up with his brother.

Athena: I'm doing this for Hephaestus, not this hotheaded bitch!

Ares barges in

Ares: You lil bitch! You stole my shield!

Athena: What? Who? Me?

Ares: Yes! You! You are holding it right now!

Athena: Oh! That's a replica one! I told Hephaestus to make tge same one for me!

Ares: You think I am stupid?

Athena: Yes, but that's a conversation for another time.

Ares: Give it back now!

Athena: But it's not yours!

Ares: But it is!

Athena: But it's not!

Ares: But it's not!

Athena: But it is!

Artemis:.....

Athena: Shit!

Ares: You said it yourself, now give it back you pussy bitch!

Athena: Over my dead body!

Ares: You wanna fight? I'll give you a fight!

Athena: Come on! You'll lose again as always!

Ares: I don't think so this time!

Ares departs.

Artemis: What was that now?

Athena: I don't know!

Artemis: You better sleep with an eye open.

Athena: Pfft! Bitch please! What is he gonna do?

____________

Scene 8: ( Hephaestus and Hermes)

Hephaestus: I can't believe that!

Hermes: Isn't that amazing?

Hephaestus: Definitely!

Hermes: Why do you wanna apologize to Ares?

Hephaestus: Because I know I was on the wrong. He had a relationship with Aphrodite way before. They had children together!

Hermes: Is that all? Then why did you break them apart?

Hephaestus: Because I thought that Aphrodite would ameliorate my status on this unholy mountain, but apparently that was wrong!

Hermes: I'm glad you acknowledge your mistake!

Hephaestus: I am a shitty brother!

Hermes: I think that Ares is gonna appreciate it.

Hephaestus: You think so?

Hermes: Both of you are very misunderstood bro. He is in tge same place as you.

Hephaestus: I hope it ends well this time!

_____________

THAT'S EPISODE 7!

I made it!

I hope you liked that episode, I had fun writting it!

Till episode 8!

3 more episodes and then Keeping up with the Olympians will finally end!

Stay tuned! 💜✌️😀

[olympushit]

Keeping up with the Olympians

#kuwto

Episode 2:

Preview:

Hera's statement for a divorce shakes things completely on the unholy mountain. Hermes has a promise to keep, while Aphrodite proves to be a helpless drama queen. Dionysos is okay and still partying.

----------

Scene 1: (Hermes and Apollo)

Hermes' confessional:

I had in mind to take Apollo to a strip club. I interrupted his orgy with the nine Muses so I have to make it up to him. I know, I love him too much!

Apollo: What is the surprise you have been talking about?

Hermes: Get dressed tonight! I have something very special for you!

Apollo: What is it! I'm dying to know! Please!

Apollo's confessional:

I love surprises but on the other hand I hate them. I don't like waiting! Exhilaration kills me!

Hermes: Dress slutty, that's all I'm saying!

Apollo: Oh.....

--------------

Scene 2: (Hera and Zeus)

Zeus confessional:

I'm still shaken by her behavior. I can't believe her! All that is for me to acquire better sex knowledge to please her even more in bed! Why can't she see that? Ungrateful wife!

Zeus: Are you serious about the divorce thing?

Hera: Absolutely! And don't try to change my mind!

Zeus: I'll promise I'll change!

Hera: LIIIIIIIIAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRR! YOU FUCKING LIAAAAAAAAARRRRRR! (Slams the table)

Hera's confessional:

Of course I'm sick amd tired of his behavior! The goddess of marriage can't stand being cheated on! But don't worry guys, I won't divorce him. I want him to come crawling back to me, and of course who wants to lose the title of "Queen of Heavens?"

Hera: It's final!

Zeus: Think about it again! You won't find another man as gorgeous as me!

Hera: That's the spirit! Someone who is not you!

______________

Scene 3: (Aphrodite and Ares spending some time in Ares' private pool in Thrace)

Aphrodite's confessional:

Thrace is a nice place! There's sea, sun, and naked Ares!

Ares: Do you like it babe?

Aphrodite: You know I love being spoilt in every way!

Ares: My beautiful woman!

(Kiss scene)

Ares confessional:

Spending time with this woman is amazing! I just love her! And of course I like getting naughty with her! (winks at camera)

(Ares lifting Aphrodite)

Aphrodite: Ares I don't wanna get wet!

Ares: You'll get wet anyway babe! Just enjoy it! (Throws her in the pool)

Aphrodite: MY DIAMOND EARRING!

Ares: What about it?

Aphrodite: I lost it! In the pool! (starts crying)

Ares: Aphrodite, there's people that are dying!

Aphrodite: It costs 75000$!

Aphrodite's confessional: (crying)

Those were the earrings Ares gifted me on our anniversary! We were celebrating the 678 time we had sex together!

Ares: You lost that earring!

Aphrodite cries aggressively.

_____________

Scene 4: (Hestia and Demeter)

(Both shaking their salads and proceed eating them)

Demeter: So did you hear about Hera's divorce?

Hestia: I did, and I don't feel surprised anymore!

Demeter death glares at Hestia

Demeter's confessional:

Did she just say that Hera deserves it? She is our sister! Such a backstabber!

Hestia:I didn't say it serves her right, I meant him!

Demeter: That wasn't very well-put to me!

Hestia: But I explained it!

Demeter: Unacceptable!

Hestia's confessional:

I don't wanna create drama around there, but Demeter's behavior is just not it!

____________

Scene 5: (Hades and Persephone in the Underworld)

Persephone: You were a rapist, you don't deserve Elysium! To the Tartarus!

Minoas looking at Hades

Hades: Whatever you say, your Honour!

Persephone: Did you just call me your "Honour"?

Hades: Yes Majesty!

Persephone: Oh my god Hades! Not there! You turn me on!

Minoas: Excuse me bro!

Hades death glares at him

Persephone: You excuse?

Hades: And I'm not your bro!

Hades' confessional:

This woman is a complete turn-on! I wanna do bad things to her!

Persephone's confessional:

Hades is a total sex slave and he likes it! I like willing men! I like the role play and he just understands the assignment!

______________

Scene 6: (Poseidon and Amphitrite)

Poseidon: I'm thinking about Triton's wish!

Amphitrite: Let lose for once honey! It's not that bad!

Poseidon: I think I'll just do so!

Poseidon's confessional:

Triton is at this age that boys think about one thing. And he asked me to be his mentor. I made up something to tell Amphitrite, because if she finds out that Triton wants to be a pornstar then the whole humanity will drown!

Triton: Dad! What do you think about what I told you earlier?

Amphitrite: We think it's okay!

Triton: YOU TOLD MUM?

Triton: AND SHE AGREED?

Amphitrite: I think I miss something?

Poseidon: Yes Triton! I'll buy you a kitty cat!

Triton's confessional:

Thanks goodness he found an excuse! My career is gonna take off! Mum will understand my abilities and will finally accept it!

____________

Scene 7: ( Apollo and Hermes at the strip club)

Apollo: Is this your surprise?

Hermes: I felt bad for interrupting your fun the other day!

Apollo: Let's get wasted!

Dionysos: Ohhhhhhhh! My bros are here!

Apollo: Wow! It's amazing!

Apollo's confessional:

What is better than 9 Muses? A whole fucking strip club!

Apollo: Shake that ass babe!

Hermes: Booty jiggling!

Dionysus: Best night ever!

Hermes' confessional:

I'm glad he liked it! But I have lost him for 2 hours straight! What do I do now?

____________

Scene 8: (Artemis and Athena)

Artemis: You wanna join today's hunt?

Athena: I'd love to but I am needed in Athens.

Artemis' confessional:

I love my sister but her ignoring me is outta my range of liking!

Artemis: So you don't wanna spend time with me?

Athena: I didn't say that!

Artemis: Can't you cancel it?

Athena: No! They're my devotees!

Artemis: Family is always first!

Athena: I didn't say otherwise!

Artemis: Ares might wanna add something to this!

Athena's confessional:

She plays a game she will surely lose! What a bitch!

Athena: You use my own spells against me Potter?

Artemis: Maybe Ares is right! You are so above anyone that it has blinded you!

Athena: I TOLD YOU I HAVE SOMEWHERE TO GO VERY POLITELY!

Artemis: You know what? JUST LEAVE! You are the least interesting person in this family afterall!

Athena's confessional:

That hurt and I don't have a big idea about myself! I just have a little appreciation for everyone who's dumb!

Artemis' confessional:

Such a bitch! She can't get away with everything!

________________

AND THAT'S EPISODE 2!

What do you think so far? Leave a comment below!

IT MUST REALLY BE A REALITY SHOW!

Till episode 3!✌️

[olympushit]

Keeping up with the Olympians

#kuwto

Episode 1:

Preview: While everything seems normal, things on Mount Olympus have escalated quite too far. Zeus once again cheats on Hera, while saving Dionysos from embarrassing drunk moments becomes a struggle for his siblings. And many more to follow....

Scene 1: (Zeus' grand palace)

Hera: Zeus!

Zeus: Yes honey!

Hera: Honey? Don't you honey me you piece of shit!

Zeus: Don't you piece of shit me!

Hera: You cheated on me again!

Zeus confessional:

Sometimes Hera overreacts about my infidelities! They say that sex is the best way to burn calories while you do something you enjoy! Women! They never understand!

Hera's confessional with a beauty face mask:

Having to put up with such drama is annoying! Can't he see that all this situation is harmful for the ecosystem? Who's gonna clean all the bacteria he spreads?

Zeus: Stop making something out of nothing!

Hera: I saw you!

Zeus: Oh, you were eavesdropping my dirty little queen! You should have joined us!

Hera: I WANT A DIVORCE!

-----------

Scene 2: (Apollo's grand mansion on Mount Olympus)

Apollo's confessional:

I was having a nice little orgy with my nine beautiful Muses when Hermes decided to so rudely interrupt my fun!

Apollo: What's going on?

Hermes: I know it may sound normal, but someone gotta save Dionysus ass outta the club! Ariadne called me to tell me that she can't find him!

Apollo: Can I have a nice time without someone interrupting my fun!

Hermes: This is serious business, and for Zeus' sake dress up!

Hermes' confessional:

I love all my siblings and I always wanna help them. So when we are done saving Dionysus' ass, I'm gonna take Apollo to a strip club!

-----------

Scene 3: (Mount Olympus, Ares and Athena in some crazy conflict)

Athena: Again?

Ares: I'm not surprised anymore. All my childhood years were filled with this shitty matter.

Ares confessional:

Dad cheating on mum is the most common thing on this Mountain. It is like saying "good morning". When I was younger I always took some pop corn and listened to them fight! Man! This was even more exhilarating than a football game!

Athena: I'm too mind-elevated to care about such stuff! I use my smartness for dumb things!

Ares: Will you stop bragging about your wits? It is too egotistical!

Athena: You are jealous!

Ares: No, I am right! And you don't wanna admit it because you are a selfish bitch!

Athena: Who did you call a bitch?

Ares: You of course! Do you see anyone else here to call bitch?

Athena: Yes! You!

Ares: How mature of you!

Athena: You dare talk back to me!

Ares: This is how a conversation is done you smartarse!

Hestia confessional:

I am really depressed by Ares' and Athena's behavior! They had a fight and Ares' spear went through my favorite vase!

Athena: Wait! You don't care about our well-beings?

Hestia: I would, if you didn't smash the whole palace!

Ares: As usual I'll be the one to be blamed!

___________

Scene 4: (Apollo and Hermes find Dionysus)

Hermes: What is he doing inside the fountain?

Dionysus: And my heart will go on and on!

Apollo's confessional:

Watching Dionysus perform Celine Dion inside a fountain is disgusting! He sings awfully and he is full of germs!

Hermes: Let's get him out!

Apollo: You're kidding, right?

Hermes: Will you get serious!

Apollo: I AM SERIOUS! My beautiful face isn't going to be ruined like that! This beauty must remain untouched!

Hermes: You untouched beauty, he's falling!

Apollo: OH MY GOSH!

Hermes confessional:

Thanks goodness we caught him on time before slipping on the ground! I have second thoughts about making it up on Apollo though! He was a bad boy!

________________

WELL GUYS THAT'S THE FIRST EPISODE! I PROMISED TO DO IT AND I DID IT!

What do you think so far? Tell me in the comments!

I'm thinking about making 10 episodes of this, and I have some ridiculous ideas!

One episode per week it is, and of course I'll add more scenes!

Also, I think I may steal some KUWTK ikonik phrases and scenes here and there, of course a little modified!

✌️😛😝

[olympushit]

Keeping up with the Olympians

#kuwto

Episode 8:

Preview: Zeus and Hera finally reconcile! Poseidon and Amphitrite face a new problem. Apollo is on cloud 9 with Hyacinthus, while Ares and Hephaestus have a big fight. Athena and Artemis decide to take the next big step in their relationship. Many more to follow on this unholy episode!

________

Scene 1: (Ares and Hephaestus)

Hephaestus' confessional:

It was a nightmare having Athena bring here Ares' shield. But what can I do? Ares wouldn't come to talk if I asked him to...

Ares: There is my shield!

Hephaestus: Yeah, here it is!

Ares: And why did Athena leave it here?

Hephaestus: Actually, I wanted to talk to you...

Ares: Be done! I don't have all day!

Hephaestus: Well, I wanna apologize for my behavior. I know I shouldn't have intervened in your relationship with Aphrodite. You already built a family together! I did all that because I needed the reassurance that I was important and that my presence in this mountain isn't vain! I know it is not a justification of my actions, but I understand my mistake now and I wanna apologize to you because you are my older brother, and my behavior towards you was egotistical and cruel!

Ares: Are you done?

Hephaestus: Yeah, unless you want to say something back!

Ares: Does that apology make you feel good?

Hephaestus: Not entirely, but it is something-

Ares: Cut it! An apology doesn't erase what you did!

Hephaestus: I know but-

Ares: I don't wanna hear anything! All my life I was nice to you, and you stabbed my back!

Hephaestus: You were nice? I don't think you really were nice to me ever!

Ares: Oh really?

Hephaestus: Exactly!

Ares: When everyone was making fun of you I didn't even flinch! You were crying alone while I explained to everyone how awful it was of them to make fun of you! Even Athena made fun of you but you hold her in a higher place than everyone! And that's one of the reasons no one likes me on this stupid mountain!

Hephaestus: Wait, really?

Ares: Yes!

Hephaestus: But you never came to console me?

Ares: You think that only your life was a living hell? I was neglected too when I was young! And don't make me remember that no one came to look for me when I was trapped in that fucking jar!

Ares turns and leaves

Hephaestus: And I guess there is bad blood again!

______________

Scene 2: (Apollo and Hyacinthus)

Apollo: Babe! Are you having a good time?

Hyacinthus: Yes!

Apollo's confessional:

That pool party we have established every weekend is simply great! Just me and him with no clothes! (winks)

Apollo: What do think about moving in with me?

Hyacinthus: Really? You want to live with me?

Apollo: Yes! Absolutely honey!

Hyacinthus: Don't you think it's a little early to think about it?

Apollo: You have all the time in the world to think! I don't pressure you!

Hyacinthus: Ok, I'll move with you!

Apollo: That's what I like to hear!

Insert Kiss scene with both of them naked

Artemis: Apollo, you won't believe-

Artemis: AAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!

Apollo and Hyacinthus cover themselves frantically

Artemis: My eyes! My eyes! Where is the bleach!

Apollo: What are you doing here?

Artemis with her back to them: I was looking for you to tell you something, but you traumatized me for life?

Apollo: What is it?

Artemis: Where is the bleach?

Apollo: What do you want it?

Artemis: To erase that image off my mind!

Apollo: Stop being silly! What did you want to tell me?

Artemis: Are you covered?

Apollo: We have wrapped towels around us, turn around!

Artemis turns around

Artemis: Ares and Hephaestus fought badly, and Poseidon with Amphitrite decided to help in Hera's satanic plan to catch Zeus in the act!

Apollo: NO WAY!

Artemis: YES WAY!

Apollo: Let's go!

Hyacinthus: What about me?

Apollo: I'll take care of you when I come back! (winks)

Artemis: Eeeeewwwww!

__________________

Scene 3: (Hera, Poseidon and Amphitrite in Poseidon's sea getaway)

Amphitrite whispering to Poseidon: I don't think that helping Hera is a good idea!

Poseidon: She is my older sister, I don't really have a choice here!

Amphitrite: Low blow.

Hera enters

Hera: Well, I tried to track him through the monitor detector on his wedding ring but nothing! I can't detect his location!

Poseidon: Are you sure?

Hera: I tried it over a 100 times!

Amphitrite: Maybe he took off his wedding ring?

Hera: What?

Poseidon: Oh no!

Amphitrite: I mean, if he is with another woman why would he wear his wedding ring?

Hera: You are dead!

Poseidon: Calm down, you'll cause a typhoon!

Amphitrite screaming: Poseidon help! This bitch pulls my hair!

Hera: Who did you call a bitch?

Amphitrite: You of course!

Hera: Poseidon!

Poseidon: Ladies, we can solve it in a peaceful way! And this is not what you should be doing now Hera!

Hera leaves Amphitrite's hair

Hera: You are right...

Amphitrite: Well, deal with it yourselves, I don't wanna meddle in any drama!

Amphitrite departs

Hera: Now what?

Poseidon: I have an idea...

________________

Scene 3: (Hermes, Dionysos and Ariadne)

Dionysos: I love you babe!

Ariadne laying on his chest: I love you too!

Both are ready to kiss until Hermes barges in

Hermes: What are you doing here you little lovebirds?

Dionysos: Now that you barged in like that, nothing!

Hermes cheekily: Did I spoil your fun?

Ariadne: Anyway, what did you want?

Hermes: Did you forget that we were about to have a Pyjama party tonight?

Dionysos: Oops!

Ariadne: And I was horny!

Hermes: Well, I can leave the room and I'll be back in 5 minutes.

Dionysos confused: 5 minutes?

Hermes: Will it take longer?

Dionysos: Excuse me?

Ariadne: Not this again!

Hermes: How long do you two fuck?

Dionysos: I'm the god of parties! Do you think I fuck in just 5 minutes?

Hermes: I don't know man!

Dionysos: Wait!

Hermes: Don't you say it!

Dionysos: You only last 5 minutes?

Hermes: No! I was just teasing you!

Dionysos: No way!

Dionysos falls back in laughter

Ariadne: I guess no sex today....

________________

Scene 4: (Athena, Artemis and Hephaestus)

Hephaestus: So all that happened with Ares....

Athena: Wow, I must admit he was right...

Artemis: I agree.

Hephaestus: I feel so bad!

Athena: Look, Ares loves you. I think you should give him time. He won't hold grudge against you.

Artemis: Even though his ego is big, he is an understanding person!

Hephaestus: I guess it was too early indeed!

Athena: Well, don't worry. Everything will be okay.

Hephaestus: I guess so.

Artemis: Well, let's talk about something happy!

Athena: We have something to announce!

Artemis: It was a hard decision, but I think it will worth it.

Hephaestus: Come on! Do tell me!

Athena: We'll take the next big step in our relationship!

Hephaestus: Honestly, you are made for each other...

Athena holds Artemis' hand with big eyes

Hephaestus: Well?

Artemis: We'll adopt a puppy!

Hephaestus:..............

Athena: I thought you would be happy...

Hephaestus: I am, but I expected something more tremendous.

Artemis: Like?

Hephaestus: I don't know, something like moving in together like Apollo with Hyacinthus did.

Artemis: Eeeewwww! Don't remind me!

Athena: What happened?

Artemis: I saw them kissing by the pool! Naked!

Athena: Oh....

Hephaestus: I mean, sounds logical to me.

Athena: We assexuals don't relate!

Hephaestus: I think I'll turn assexual too.

Artemis: Why so?

Hephaestus: No one loves me, so...

Athena: No, don't say that!

Artemis: You are great just the way you are, others are idiots for not seeing that!

Hephaestus: You say that? You both were making fun of me being ugly! Only Ares didn't!

Athena:........

Artemis:..........

Hephaestus: I'm leaving!

______________

Scene 5: (Demeter, Persephone and Hestia)

The three of them shake their salads and proceed to eat them

Persephone: What will Hera do?

Demeter: I don't know honey, she and Poseidon are on some wild shit right now.

Hestia: Why all that drama? Can't they just sit down like grown ups and solve their differences?

Demeter: Sometimes it is just too much!

Hestia: Persephone what will you do with Hades?

Persephone: I decided to give it a chance. It may not be bad afterall.

Demeter: In this case I agree.

Persephone: You never agree with Hades, so this time that you did agree I decided to go for it.

Hestia: Mother-daughter time is the best!

Demeter: When are gonna leave?

Persephone: Probably tomorrow. He must be so alone!

Hestia: What do you think about the Ares-Hephaestus thing?

Demeter: I kinda agree with Ares on this one! The boy always loved his brother!

Persephone: I agree too! We were all awful to the both of them.

Hestia: I think they will reconcile, they love each other.

Persephone: Oh! I didn't tell you!

Hestia: What?

Persephone: Artemis walked in on Apollo and Hyacinthus making out naked by the pool!

Demeter: WHAT? WHEN?

Persephone: Artemis wanted to rip her eyes off!

Hestia: I don't blame her!

Demeter: Hilarious!

Persephone: So much happened this week!

Demeter: That's good fir our show actually!

Hestia: No money, no honey!

__________________

Scene 6: (Zeus, Hera and Poseidon)

Poseidon: It will sure work!

Hera: I hope it will!

Poseidon: Hug me, here he comes!

Hera and Poseidon hug each other romantically to make Zeus jealous

Zeus: What's going on here?

Poseidon: I realised that I was married to the wrong woman all this time!

Hera: Me too! Thanks to your infidelities I found my true love!

Zeus: You are joking, right?

Poseidon: Not at all!

Hera: I'm dead serious!

Zeus: I will also be dead serious when I bury you alive Poseidon!

Zeus storms onto Poseidon

Hera: Babe! No!

Zeus: Don't call him babe!

Poseidon: Why? Jealous?

Zeus: I'll kill you!

Hera: Enough! Both of you! Zeus, it was a set up!

Zeus: Huh?

Hera: I wanted you to see what it is like to be cheated on!

Poseidon: Yes dude, now get off me!

Zeus: Hera, I love you! I never wanted to hurt you!

Hera: I love you too! But do you promise to be faithful?

Zeus: I swear on Styx I will never cheat on you again!

Poseidon: ON STYX?

Hera: I'm also surprised...

Zeus: Yeah, on Styx! I swear eternal faithfulness!

Zeus' confessional:

I really mean it this time! Enough is enough!

Hera's confessional:

I was taken aback, but alt least I get to sleep peacefully again!

_______________

Scene 7: (Hades and Persephone)

Persephone: Hades!

Hades: Honey!

Persephone: I'm so sorry babe! I shouldn't have acted like that!

Hades: I'm sorry! It was stupid of me to do such a thing!

Persephone: No, no! You were right. I thought about it and I concluded that it was not bad afterall.

Hades: Really my love?

Persephone: Yes! I love you!

Hades: No I love you more!

Persephone: No, I love you more!

Minoas: Not this again!

Hades: What did that little piece of shit say?

Persephone: He was happy to see us together again!

Minoas: Yes! That's it!

Hades: I'll let it slide this time...

Persephone: Hades, I missed your hammer!

Hades: Let's take you to see it then? (winks)

Hades lifts Persephone up and takes her to their bedroom

Minoas: Hammer?

Minoas:..........

Minoas: Oooooooohhhhhhhh! I gotta go!

___________________

AND THAT WAS EPISODE 8!

I know it took a long time, but university is hectic!

Anyways, I hope you will have a happy new year filled with love and happiness!

See you soon, in a next episode.

2 more to go!

😜😎😀🎆🍗🌲