#Kim taedong | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

omegaxlore · 1 year ago

Text

죽음 - 김태동

word count:: 4303 trigger / content warning(s) : death , near-death , heart attack

Taedong never understood why he was so different. He didn’t understand the whispers or signs. “Demon.”

At just a day old, in the hospital room, Taedong accidently took his mother’s last breath. She held him close to her, calming his cries. A melody of coos came from Taedong when he settled. His mother’s heart slowly stopped and she managed to kiss Taedong’s head once more before her last breath.

To say his father was distraught was an understatement. He had gone to retrieve his wife some food and returned to her, but she was gone. Doctors and nurses were alerted and nothing was able to be done. Everyone was left confused. The delivery was completed safely and everyone was healthy and well.

Taedong was asked to be kept in the hospital for surveillance because of his mother’s sudden death. They wanted to be sure nothing came to harm the child. Taedong’s father had his own room with his newborn son. The nurses cared for Taedong, feeding him and changing him. Taedong’s father barely left the bed. His life had started and ended in the same day, just hours apart.

Taedong’s father occasionally would find the energy to look at Taedong, to watch him peacefully sleep. The only thing he had left.

For the first time in three days, Taedong’s father had the energy to hold Taedong for the second time since his birth. The nurses were happy that he had gained strength. His father held him close, rocking him, talking to him, feeding him even.

On Taedong’s last night in the hospital is when it started. Taedong began to coo again, his father reached for him to figure out what he needed. A strong pain struck his chest. His father fell to the floor but managed through the pain to hit the call button. His father grabbed his chest and tried to breathe for air.

A door opened and nurses ran into the room. Taedong’s coos stopped with the commotion in the room. His father felt some relief but it felt like he was dying. The nurses helped Taedong’s father off the floor and immediately checked him out. The nurses are baffled to find the state Taedong’s father is in.

The nurses manage to stabilize him, and once he could breathe without a machine he tells them to get rid of Taedong. His cries are what caused his wife’s death and his almost demise. The nurses were confused and asked over and over again for him to explain. But the man just freaked out when Taedong would cry and demanded to have the baby sent away.

He wanted nothing to do with Taedong ever again.

Saddened by the news, the nurses took Taedong away.

Eventually an orphanage came to talk to his birth father about the conditions and his why. The representatives were concerned with the answer his father gave, but regardless they took Taedong to the orphanage.

Taedong’s stay in the orphanage was short and not at all sweet. With the report and warning from the father the staff workers were cautious and deeply disturbed by the story. But it took one night of crying for them to quickly realize the father was telling the truth. No one had died, but paramedics were called. It had been the older staff member who came up with the earplugs. They worked, but only if they were worn properly. All the staff members were terrified to attend to infant Taedong, but they can’t be inspected in case of a missing child or death- the risk was too high. The only thing they could do was manage to pawn Taedong off to someone willing to care for him.

The perfect opportunity came in the middle of week 5. A deaf couple arrived in hopes of adopting a baby. The moment the staff discovered they were deaf and in search of a baby they introduced Taedong. The couple fell in love immediately. The staff cheered when Taedong was taken home after the adoption process was officialized.

Taedong’s cries never harmed his mother and father, for they could not hear his cries. But Taedong was cared for and loved deeply by his adopted parents. They were excited to teach him sign language despite being a hearing child.

His parent’s never really worried about whether or not he learned to talk, but they agreed if he showed interest they would get him lessons, but of course they never understood how to go about that route. But it was going to be a problem for when the time came.

Taedong, seven-years-old, sat in front of the television, and listened to the way the people on the screen talked. Taedong didn’t understand what they were saying, but it fascinated him. He tried to repeat the words himself, but because the people on the television were talking so fast and never repeated any words over and over again, Taedong’s speaking was just a lot of baby sounds despite being in first grade.

The next day in class, Taedong could not stop trying to talk. It caught his teacher's attention, a mid-30s woman with hearing in only one of her ears. She asked Taedong if he was learning to talk, very well aware of his ability to hear just fine.

I am! Taedong signed. I want to be like the people on television!

His teacher smiled, almost laughing. Keep practicing, Taedong. Maybe one day.

After that school day, the teacher approached the counselor, something she did often.

I think it’s time, the teacher signed, he’s started to talk, listening to the television.

The counselor nods his head, I’ll contact them tomorrow.

The counselor met with his parents two days later and informed them of what Taedong’s teacher said. The counselor explained he met with other staff and they all agreed and strongly encouraged Taedong to be moved to a hearing school so he could succeed in life and not falter because he wasn’t taught to speak.

His parents were upset. They hadn’t realized that they were slowing Taedong down from developing. They hadn’t realized it was such an issue. The counselor offered to help with finding an appropriate school and speech classes for Taedong and offered to return the money of the current school year to help transition him and pay for outside speech classes if the new school did not offer classes.

Taedong’s parents agreed and they spent the next few weeks preparing for Taedong to make the switch. They explained it to him. Taedong, of course, didn’t understand. Why couldn’t he just take speech classes and continue to attend the school he is at now. It was hard for his parent’s to explain to a seven-year-old that it was better. They didn’t just want to say it’s because he was different from other kids. They didn’t want to single him out.

But eventually Taedong figured it out, and he was sad about it. But his parents tried to cheer him up and told him he still could visit and see his friends outside of school and it would be a new adventure. I mean, it couldn’t be all that bad. But the more and more his parents talked about it and the more the days past his sadness turned into anxiousness. How would his new classmates, those who could hear, think of him? Think of someone who could hear but doesn’t know how to talk?

Taedong entered the room quietly, unsure of what was happening. His translator followed him in.

“Introduce yourself,” his new teacher looked down at him. Taedong looked up at her and then turned to his translator who signed. Taedong nodded and turned to the class, and proceeded to sign.

Hi. I’m Kim Taedong. I’m seven-years-old. Taedong signs quickly. His translator relates his signing to the class. The kids all look at him funny.

“I thought he could hear, why is he signing,” the teacher whispers to his translator.

“He can. His parents are deaf. He doesn’t know how to talk properly,” his translator answers. His teacher sighs and then motions to Taedong to sit in the empty desk near the back of the room.

He slowly walks towards the back of the room, all the students staring at him and whispering. He takes a seat and his translator pulls up a chair next to him.

Quickly it became apparent nobody wanted to be Taedong’s friend, but his recess and free time was taken up learning how to properly speak. He would spend half the day in his speech class and the other half of the day in his regular class. Taedong became used to not having friends anymore. He missed his old friends from his previous school.

Over time Taedong’s speech improved drastically and he was happy to finally understand what people were saying. He wanted to participate in class and he tried his best, but teachers weren’t terribly patient with him and the kids would pick on him, make comments, and give him nasty looks. So Taedong kept to himself and only answered when called on. That’s how it went all the way through high school.

Taedong had found his interests and despite not talking in school he talked every chance he could- mostly to himself. His whole world changed when he discovered ‘real’ music. Before his parents listened to music with no lyrics but melodies in which they could feel the vibrations. But music that involved lyrics was beautiful to him. He found himself singing and had a passion for it. Of course he kept it to himself.

His parents would watch him, despite not hearing him they encouraged him to try out for a school club or the choir class if he loved singing so much.

Taedong was hesitant, he knew he was exceeding all his speech classes and he sounded like he had spoken his whole life but still he could hear those kids mocking him- some still in his class but have since stopped their bullying.

It took a couple months, but Taedong worked up the courage to approach the choir instructor and asked if he could audition to be in the class or a club. The instructor informed Taedong that it was too late to audition for the fall semester class but he’d audition him right then for the spring semester if he wanted to wait a couple more months. Taedong agreed. Students were already in the room preparing for the class to begin. Taedong set his bag and books down and informed the choir teacher of his song choice. The instructor blinked back in surprise and smiled, impressed with the song choice. He told Taedong to begin.

Taedong closed his eyes and took a deep breath. Taedong began singing the song, the teacher listening and was extremely impressed. But suddenly the teacher’s shoulder curled inwards and he grabbed his chest, and fell to the floor with a thud.

Taedong opened his eyes and stopped singing, finding the teacher slumped on the floor, barely moving. He turned his head and he watched in horror as the rest of the students slowly slumped in their chairs or slid off of them and onto the floor. Their bodies limp and stiff, some still somehow breathing.

Taedong immediately ran out of the room, looking for another teacher. Other students passed by the open doors and screamed in horror.

It didn’t take long for paramedics to arrive. Taedong watched numbly, not understanding. The school was put under investigation for the students near deaths, but it came up with nothing. Taedong was interviewed and interviewed and his story never changed and they eventually stopped asking. The school was found not guilty and the students and teacher recovered and eventually came back to school or were moved to another school.

Taedong stopped talking officially after that. He knew what happened, but he also knew nobody would believe him. How could it be possible that his voice kills others? Depression overcame Taedong like nothing before. His parents noticed, and when they finally asked Taedong begged and cried to go back to the deaf school. He told them it was his fault and he blamed himself for those students almost dying. Watching Taedong finally breakdown broke something deep inside his parents.

Instead they moved. To another city. Somewhere fresh for Taedong to start clean. His parents enrolled him in a new high school, but Taedong refused to go. Locked himself in his room. His parents bargained and pleaded. But they didn’t understand, how could they? They are deaf.

Eventually, his parents compromised with him. He would do online schooling but still attend the school they enrolled him for his extracurricular classes and activities he needed to graduate. Taedong reluctantly accepted, and he finished up high school.

Everyday he walked to and from school he would pass by a library. It always caught his attention, but he never had the courage to go in. But he knew it was calling. Like it was waiting for him. He would search about it and its history and talk about it with his parents. They had convinced him to apply if there were jobs once he finished school. Then his course changed a little. Most of his classes changed in order to hopefully prepare him to work in a library and he studied harder in history and literature classes. He was going to be ready.

Taedong stands outside the Ethereal Trove Library. He brushes down his shirt once more before walking up the steps.

He opens the door and walks inside, and checks to make sure it closes behind him. Taedong looks around the library as he walks towards the front desk. The library is a mess, books on the floor, empty shelves, books stacked on tables- almost like they were moving.

Taedong spots a bell on the desk and taps it. The sound is enchanting and it rings throughout the library.

“Just a moment!” A voice calls out from a distance. Taedong looks around a little more. He even strays from the front desk towards a table of books. They look extremely old. He reaches to open one.

A loud bang stops him. Taedong slowly turns around. A pile of books at their feet, as if they just dropped them.

“It’s… it’s you,” the librarian breathlessly states. Taedong looks around before pointing at himself.

“Yes, you,” they laugh.

Taedong then signs, I’m sorry I can’t speak.

“Or that you don’t want to?” They counter. Taedong raises his eyebrows. “I’m sorry. How can I help you?”

I’m Kim Taedong. I was wondering if you had any job openings? Taedong signs.

We do. I’m Poaegi. I am the librarian and so much more, Kim Taedong. Poaegi signs back, messing up a couple words, but they fix their mistakes. I apologize that my signing is not very good. Languages are not my strong suit.

It’s very impressive for someone who hears. Taedong compliments.

“Right back at you,” Poaegi winks, “You can start tomorrow. Come in at 6am sharp.”

Thank you. Taedong signs. He waves and heads out of the library. He does a little victory dance as the doors close, so Poaegi doesn’t see.

At 5:55am Taedong waits inside the library at the front desk. Poaegi slowly comes down the stairs and is startled by Taedong.

“You’re here!” Poaegi smiles, their mood instantly brightening, “let’s get started!” Poaegi takes Taedong around the library, showing him all the different sections, explaining the rules, and going over what needs to be done today.

The two get to work immediately and there is barely any talk throughout the day, just Poaegi clarifying things for Taedong when he has questions.

Taedong and Poaegi sit down, leaning against a couple of bookshelves, the setting sun casting a glittering orange glow through the stained glass dome above them.

How did you come to run this library by yourself? Taedong asks.

I didn’t always have the dormitory….

“Sorry, my signing is still not very good,” Poaegi apologies, “I hope you don’t mind if I just speak?” Taedong nods his head, giving the go to Poaegi. Poaegi looks ahead, almost purposely avoiding Taedong’s gaze, and takes a deep breath.

“I didn’t always have the library,” Poaegi starts, “This library has been in my family for generations. We refuse to sell it to have a more modern building set up. We’ve been offered a lot. But there is so much history within these walls. So it’s stayed with my family. Passed down, blood relative to blood relative. One day I’ll have to suck it up and produce a child so they can take over the library.”

What about your parents? You said this was in your family for a long time?

“My parents?” Poaegi asks, “they died a long time ago.”

Taedong’s heart shatters, Oh, I’m sorry.. I didn’t know.

“It’s okay,” Poaegi sadly smiles, “They were sick. They died within days of each other. First my mother, and then my father’s health deteriorated quickly after. We think the disease and a broken heart ultimately killed them.”

That must have been horrible. You must have been so sad. To be alone.

“It was hard. I admit. I did some things I wasn't proud of. I have the scars to remind me,” Poaegi continues, “but I realized, death isn’t always bad and painful. It can be freeing and happy. To be relieved of pain and sickness… I realized I was selfish trying to wish them back. They were free of their diseases and they were living in the afterlife. I could sense their happiness. So I let it be. I started to focus on myself and rebuild what I broke to honor my parents… and I’m still doing that now.”

Silence fell between Poaegi and Taedong.

“Did you know,” Poaegi starts randomly, “They say that if you can see souls you are a guide to the afterlife. The soul’s new home.”

Did you see your parent’s souls? Taedong asks, curious.

I wish, Poaegi signs back, “I guess I wasn’t the lucky one. My parents had taught me that. So when I didn’t see their souls that’s when I started all the horrible things I did.” Taedong looked at Poaegi sadly.

Have you ever seen other souls?

Poaegi smiles, remembering how a woman had waited a long time to meet Poaegi, wandering the earth. Telling Poaegi how she had given birth and died. She told Poaegi of her beautiful son, Taedong. How she wished she could stay longer to watch him grow more, but she knew her time on Earth was coming to an end, if she didn’t cross then she would disappear into true nothingness.

“I have,” Poaegi answers after a long time, “a beautiful women who died in childbirth.”

Taedong stills.

“Are you okay?” Poaegi asks, concerned and upset for opening their mouth.

Taedong takes a deep breath, yeah. I’m okay. Just reminded me of someone.

Do you want to talk about it? Poaegi signs.

My.. my mother died after giving birth to me, Taedong explains, they said they found her in bed holding me, her heartbeat gone. They claim to not know what happened, but I think I figured it out. It took me 17 years though.

“My voice… kills,” Taedong whispers.

Poaegi’s eyes light up, and they smile, “you have a very beautiful voice, Taedong.”

There was silence between them.

“It was hard, wasn’t it?” Poaegi asks, “not knowing anything about the power of your voice and what it can do.”

Taedong looks at Poaegi, “what do you mean?”

“I know what happened. All those times,” Poaegi tells him, “it’s scary. Taking someone’s last breath without realizing it. It’s not an ideal elemental ability, but it makes you special. You just don’t see it yet.”

“I killed my own mother,” Taedong spats, “how am I special? Every time I open my mouth I almost kill someone.”

“You’re not killing me? You haven’t killed your adoptive parents,” Poaegi counters, positively, “do you know why?”

“No. I don’t want to know,” Taedong tells them, upset, “it’s why I never talk. I don’t know why I’m still even talking to you.” Taedong stands up and walks away.

“When you sing,” Poaegi stands, and Taedong stops. “When you sing, you take away someone’s last breath. You didn’t know. You were a baby, then a kid. You were just trying to live and fit in. Do the things you like. But only those who can hear it are affected.”

Taedong turns around to face Poaegi, tears threatening to spill.

“You’re special, Taedong,” Poaegi tells him, “you don’t like your ability. I understand why. You have experienced so much pain, so much hate. But it’s not all negative. I can show you.” Taedong shakes his head. He turns back around and heads for the library doors.

“Taedong!” Poaegi calls.

Taedong leaves the library, confused and dazed. He bumps into several people, apologizing each time. He soon comes across an almost empty park nearby. Taedong enters and takes a seat on a bench under a large tree.

A low, almost broken, meow alerts him. He turns his head around looking for the cat. It meows again. Taedong looks under the bench and finds a beautiful calico cat. It lays on its side breathing unevenly.

Taedong pushes himself off the bench and crouches in front of the cat. Taedong reaches out his hand to let the cat sniff, but it seems uninterested and continues to brokenly meow. Taedong’s heart breaks a little.

“You must be in pain,” he whispers to the cat. He reaches and gently pets the cat, hoping to give it comfort to distract from the pain. His hand becomes warm and softly glows for a moment. Taedong pulls his hand away in fear, and falls onto his butt. The cat stills for a moment.

The cat lifts its head and slowly is able to push its body off the ground, when it meows it sounds happier, and not broken. The cat slowly walks to Taedong, climbing into his lap, and curling up once more. The cat purrs. Taedong smiles and continues to pet the cat. Slowly the purring stops again and the broken meows start.

Taedong looks at the cat, sadly. The Poaegi’s words ring in his ears.

Death isn’t always bad and painful. It can be freeing and happy. To be relieved of pain and sickness.

Tears well up in Taedong’s eyes, and he chokes on his words, “are you ready, little one?”

The cat looks up to Taedong, its green eyes sparkling, and another broken meow answers his question. Taedong blinks back his eyes and sniffs.

“Okay,” Taedong sadly smiles toward the cat. He pets the cat one more time. His hand warms and softly glows for a moment. He picks the cat up and holds it close to his chest. He softly hums a little song. The cat purrs and leans into Taedong. Slowly the cat’s breathing stills and the purring stops. Taedong cries and holds the cat close to him, knowing exactly what he had done.

“I’m sorry,” Taedong whispers. He looks down at the cat who looks like it's peacefully sleeping after a long time. He sadly smiles and pets the cat once more.

Meow.

Taedong freezes.

Meow.

Taedong lifts his head. In front of him the calico cat sits, but less color. It almost looks translucent.

They say that if you can see souls you are a guide to the afterlife. The soul’s new home.

Poaegi’s words fill his head. How is he suppose to do that? He only knows how to kill.

Meow.

The cat walks towards Taedong, rubbing up against his legs and purring. Almost like it's telling Taedong it’s time to take it home.

Taedong sniffs and with one hand he wipes his nose and some tears away.

“I don’t know how to take you home,” Taedong tells the cat.

Meow.

The soul then begins to walk away from Taedong.

“Wait,” Taedong tells the cat. He stands up, still holding the body and begins to follow the soul. The cat is fast, prancing along. Taedong has a hard time keeping up.

But he finds himself back in front of the Ethereal Trove Library. The cat’s soul sits at the doors at the top of the steps while Taedong stays at the bottom. Taedong takes a deep breath before climbing the stairs once more.

He opens the door, the spirit trotting in and suddenly disappearing.

“Poaegi?” Taedong calls out, voice cracking a little. Taedong hears running and looks at each of the staircases, eyes flipping between the four of them, waiting to see them.

Poaegi appears at the top of one. They rush down towards Taedong.

Taedong breaks down and his knees drop to the floor.

“Oh, Taedong,” Poaegi hugs Taedong which causes him to cry more. Poaegi rubs his back and lets him calm down.

“Why does it still hurt to do it,” Taedong whispers after he calms down a little. Poaegi pulls away from Taedong. They take his face in their hands and wipe away his tears, and sadly smiles.

“I wish I had an answer for you, my dear,” Poaegi tells him, “every time I did it. A part of me aches too. But I know what cures the ache. It doesn’t solve all the pain and sadness, but it relieves it.”

Poaegi stands up. They pull a charm off their bracelet and it expands.

“I’ll have to go grab yours as well,” Poaegi tells Taedong, “but we can take the soul to its new home.” The cat’s soul appears next to Taedong and rubs itself against Taedong then moves to Poaegi.

“You read to learn?” Poaegi holds out their hand. Taedong stares up at them and takes a deep breath before taking their hand.

#kpop #kpop fanfic #kpop imagines #omega x #omegax #omegaxlore #kim taedong #omega x taedong #taedong

8 notes · View notes