#It's just. It's never really been this obvious how bad of a position I'm in before? And now I just feel really really really scared?

[toasthaste]

ok here are some In Stars and Time thoughts: (wow! that's a lot of thoughts actually! long post warning! also warning for like every possible spoiler, don't read this if you haven't engaged with the game to your satisfaction)

I'm obsessed with the fact that the loop that ends up being the final one is the one where EVERYTHING goes wrong. I spent the whole game subconsciously building up my Perfect Final Loop in my mind, how I'd get every item to make sure I didn't miss an opportunity to use em, do all the friendquests and such... I didn't even realize I'd been building up that ideal scenario until after credits rolled! Really really cool. The timeline where Siffrin does the worst stuff he does in any loop is the one that stays. And it's still a happy ending! it's a better ending because of that! His friends saw him at his worst and still loved him! He didn't have to do everything perfect to keep them around actually! Something about that feels so right, to me.

I keep using "ludonarrative resonance" to describe this game and yeah ok I'm huffing my own farts here whipping that out but whatever, it's REAL. The player and Siffrin are on the EXACT same emotional journey as each other, we're getting tired of seeing the exact same lines over and over again right alongside them, we're taking shortcuts because we've seen it all before and just want to grab key open door grab crest etc etc make the progress go. We're starting to find these previously-charming characters grating because we've just seem them repeat the SAME lines over and over and over and OVER again until they start feeling like caricatures of themselves who we can barely feel any real compassion for any more.... It's just so.... clean, it's so perfect, to me. It helps that Siffrin is also one of the more relatable characters I've encountered in, like, media. I don't usually relate to fictional characters much, but, man, the emotional constipation, the building scorn, the depression, the Being Weird About Touch... I mentioned in another post that it's really just Siffrin and Murderbot who I've ever found viscerally relatable, of all the characters ever in media. So like, it's a pretty rare position. (I do not relate to the pun-love though. I'm funny I'm good at goofs but bad puns are extremely tedious to me. Which perhaps goes to show how well-realized Siffrin is, given that I'm able to look the other way....)

I think they could have stood to make Loop's Whole Deal a bit more obvious. I had no clue what their fucking deal was at any point. I totally missed the interaction that lets you learn about The Incident and thus get more Loop info at the end, and... it's valid to have different endings in a game of course, but... I felt like I really missed out tbh! And I had no way of knowing I had to keep interacting with the silver coin.... idk. It felt a bit like a gotcha I suppose. And Loop's deal is really cool! Holy hell! I'm doing a quick replay of the game to see more convos with them with this context, and to get the ending with them, and like--!!! There's so much here! Loop tellins Sif to use the royal We, they even tell Siffrin, like-- Loop asks Siffrin why he doesn't just tell his friends about the loops, maybe they can help, why keep it a secret? Meanwhile... Loop!Siffrin is stuck in their own helpless timefuckery world and refusing to let Siffrin know about it! The Siffrin from the Start Again timeline never learned those lessons, they're still trying to help someone else while refusing to ask for help themselves, refusing to even let on that there's a problem! And getting more and more emotionally fucked up about it! Man it's good. I guess it does make a replay more rewarding, not knowing this until the end, the first time, but so much of the game is already a replay that, idk, it does feel weird to replay it. I've already done so many repetitions y'all.... But I guess that's pretty meta, also...

Oh I'm under the impression this is not terribly uncommon but I absolutely did get got by the ?diary? that had the story of the person making a duplicate of themselves so they had someone to talk to. Like I fully thought that was describing the King and Siffrin, I spent a long time under the mistaken impression that Siffrin was a copy of the King in some capacity. Oops.... I might try to gently lead Beloved Roomie away from this interpretation when she plays it. Planning on being pretty hands-off overall but this is one area where I feel it might be justified to violate the prime directive.... But we'll see!

I wish I liked the music more..... This is a game that I think really begs for some real heartwrenching tunes to enhance all of the everything but instead none of it does it for me at all. I think that's a real shame, it's by far my biggest complaint. I'm not asking for Undertale-tier, but, at least something I'd want to put on my playlist for the emotional resonance, y'know?

THEY ACTUALLY KILLED THE KID !!!! LIKE!!!! I guess I have some biases I might should think about but I was not expecting a game that begins with so many explicit pronouns introductions (rather than just giving us context clues) and that has no real cursing to be willing to kill the kid, even impermanently? Let alone so gruesomely? I think I was expecting a much greater level of.... idk, tweeness, fanglessness, than we actually got. In spite of being a fan of insertdisc5's comics for YEARS and years! And like! Damn! Props to them!

God. God. So, like. All the ending fakeouts were fucking great. I genuinely thought the All Friendship Quests ending might be the Real One, I was prepared to be disappointed because it felt too soon and just not.... quite.... right? But I did think that was probably where it was heading! But it wasn't! I got got and it's so heartwrenching and also so satisfying, the mood whiplash from loop to loop is fucking sublime.

And-- AND! The real ending! So like. Some of the stuff I missed was just me not pursuing specific content correctly. But some of it is genuinely just, like, stuff that has no actual purpose besides flavor. Flavor, and.... The locked passphrase door in Dormont. The four-pointed leaf you can get (but not in the final loop!), the bell chime, etc etc. You can't actually really do anything with any of this stuff. But you don't know that! It feels like there's still all these loose ends! And!!! Those loose ends do their job SO WELL! The dev knows Gamer Instincts, knows people are gonna have that mental tally of boxes-yet-to-be-checked. Left some forever unchecked on purpose, which-- At the end, the real end, when Siffrin is about to talk to the Head Housemaiden and find out, for real, if this is the final loop or if it's all going to happen again, again, again. He's scared. He's traumatized! He's thought he Had It so many times! SO many times!!! Hope is terrifying! Hope is a poison! And the game has left these loose threads, and at least for me I really was not sure it was going to work. Like it seemed likely but the same metaknowledge of story structure that made me think it was likely also told me "but wait, there's all these loose threads, and the only way for them to trick us again WOULD BE to make the ending SO elaborate and epilogue-y....." I was nervous right along with Siffrin! I was uncertain! Fucking fantastic work, using my own gamer's instincts against me. Thrilled about it.

All the characters are so well realized. They all have specific relationships with each other, not just with Siffrin (Important!!!!! Huge complaint I had with BG3, they didn't put their whole pussies into this!!!!). And, and, I love how they all have different feelings about the time loops. I love that Mirabelle doesn't want "spoilers," and meanwhile Bonnie doesn't mind them and thinks of their alt-selves as like... them-but-not-them in a very cool way.

There's something about-- the way the game starts as a regular degular videogame and then graaaadually becomes, essentially, a visual novel as the actual gameplay becomes trivialized. Which itself is like, really really cool with the themes! And also, just.... I never would have picked up a straight up visual novel, I just, don't get into them, I'd rather read a book, but! I was already invested! It got its hooks into me when there was gameplay mixing things up and those hooks weren't about to let go just because the gameplay didn't super matter any more!

Straight up when we first see Red I didn't at all process that it was a Color in a game with No Colors, Canonically. They had to spell it out for me. It didn't occur to me to be surprised. I'm just too used to colors existing I guess idk. I think I wish the colors thing had gone somewhere a bit more...? I'm GUESSING it mostly originated as just a cute little explanation for why the game is all grayscale and then fit in with enough stuff to be given elevated importance (?) But it felt... hm. Underdeveloped, maybe. I think I really want more stories in this.... "Setting" and "Universe" and "Series" are not quite the right words but hopefully you get the idea. I want more so there can be one that develops that more. Not that leaving stones unturned is, like, illegal ofc. I just find the idea very compelling....

What is it with time loop stories and themes of loss that cannot be outsmarted. Man. I wondered, for so long, if Siffrin's country was going to be restored in people's minds, if that was one of the main big Plot Things we'd see. And it just didn't! Their memory is going to keep being bad, they're going to keep having all these huge tragic gaps and it's just. What can you do. At some point you have to either be permanently paralyzed by the horrific injustice you've suffered-- or you have to try to live a life. And. Man. I don't think I've actually ever encountered a story that was so much about that exact specific form of loss, the loss of one's culture, history, language! All of it. Gone from everywhere. It made me think of the obvious things and just. Man. What a howling void. The contrast with Odile's deal made it a lot more effective too I think. More of an expanded meditation upon these themes than just one toe dipping in, I guess? Hm.

Odile's battle profile pic when she's at low health is so fucking hot this cartoon character is so hot goddammit.

Game good. You're only reading this if you've already played it, I hope, so I can't use this space to recommend it in a meaningful way but. Heck. Game good.

[squidthechaotickid]

Oh hey that's not a good emotion! Oh God I could have screwed up my entire life holy crap!

[sluts4matt]

DISTRACTION

pairing: rough!dom chris x sub!reader

summary: the two of you had been best friends for years. right after you get out of a bad relationship, chris is the first to be of distraction.

warnings: SMUT, mentions of a toxic relationship, swearing, making out, oral (female revieving), fingering, pet names (lots of the use of ma), praising, degrading, p in v, dumbification, dacryphilia, spanking, choking, hair pulling, overstimulation, LOTS of dirty talk, riding, backshots, ROUGHHH, all together just filth tbh.

words count: 2724

author's note: stop this is so filthy, like, whewy 😅. please don't read if you're uncomfortable with anything listed above. kind, constructive criticism welcome.

(loosely based on this song)

"he fucking cheated on you?" chris looked down at you, his eyes fuming. you had walked into his bedroom, a bitter laugh leaving your lips as you uttered the words you didn't truly want to admit.

"has been for fucking months, god i'm so fucking stupid," you mutter, your small hands sliding over your face in frustration. "it was right under my nose too, like how the fuck did I not realize."

you were rambling now, and chris could sense it.

he could feel your frustration, the sadness you were trying to repress. to him you were an open book, had been since the age of nine. and right now, he knew that the last thing you wanted was to be pitied, and so that was exactly what he was not going to do.

"hey, c'mere," chris spoke up, his hand grabbing your wrist and tugging you closer to his body. it ended with your legs being thrown over either side of his, straddling his lap.

you could feel his hardening dick under you, the way he shifted you around on his lap to get comfortable, but you didn't care. chris had always been like this, had always made it obvious that he thought you were attractive, and you'd be lying if you said you didn't feel the same.

the two of you were close. probably some of the most important people in each other's lives, and while the sexual tension had never really been addressed, it was there. it was definitely fucking there. you could feel him, his eyes roaming over your face, as if he was waiting for you to look him in the eyes.

you let your arms wrap around his neck, and you were suddenly hyperaware of the position the two of you were in. the way his arms wrapped around your waist, tugging you impossibly closer, and the way his nose nuzzled against the spot where your jaw met your neck.

"i'm sorry, sweetheart," chris finally whispered, his lips pressing a gentle kiss to the sensitive skin, causing you to shiver. "he didn't deserve you."

his lips kept trailing along your skin, making your mind go foggy. you couldn't think about anything else other than his lips and the way they were making you feel.

"what are you doing, chris?" you asked him, a small giggle leaving your lips. “making my girl feel better, with a distraction,” chris whispered, and you swore you felt his teeth scrape along your skin.

my girl.

the way the two words rolled off his tongue sent a chill through your entire body, and before you could even think, your hand was sliding through his hair, tugging him impossibly closer.

chris groaned, and he could feel his dick harden even more under you, a feeling that had you whining softly. he let his head fall back, looking up at you. "tell me if you want me to stop, okay?" his voice was a whisper, a plea almost.

and god, he didn't want to stop. the way his best friend was sat on his lap, practically begging for him, it made him feel so many things. but just because he didn’t want to didn’t mean he wouldn’t if that’s what she wanted.

your hands slid down his chest, stopping right at his belt. "i want this, christopher." chris groaned. he hated when you used his full name, and you knew that. and that was exactly why you said it, a small smile tugging on your lips.

"say it again," chris said, his hands gripping onto your thighs. his fingers were digging into your skin, sure to leave bruises, but the thought made you moan. "i want this, christopher," you whispered, letting his name roll off your tongue as you grinded against his dick.

chris didn't even hesitate to grab your shirt, pulling it over your head, tossing it behind him. he flipped the two of you over, pinning your wrist above your head. "keep them there for me, angel."

the nickname made you shiver, and you nodded. he sat up on his knees, his fingers fumbling with the button on your jeans, before finally tugging them down your legs. he could see the wet spot on your panties, his hands running over your clothed cunt. "already soaked, baby."

he leaned down, attaching his lips to yours. his hands continued to run over the soft material, before he was ripping the fabric, a loud gasp leaving your lips. chris smirked, his lips still pressed against yours, kissing you hard and deep. he let his hand slide up your body, his finger wrapping around your throat, and squeezing.

"you're mine," chris growled, and you whimpered. "always been yours, chris." he smiled, letting his thumb run across your bottom lip. "that's right, huh, sweet girl,” he mumbled. his lips were trailing down your body, stopping when he reached your hips.

he bit the skin, hard, before licking the mark he left behind. the way your hands were gripping onto the bedsheets, knuckles turning white, only made chris smile. "do you think i can make you feel better than he ever did?" chris asked, his tone was cocky, and the thought of you saying no had him almost growling.

you could hear the anger in his voice, the jealousy. it turned you on even more, the thought of chris being jealous over you. "yes," you mumbled, your hips bucking up, desperately trying to find some type of friction. chris let out a chuckle, “so desperate for me, aren't you, princess?"

he kissed the inside of your thighs, his eyes never leaving yours. "look at you, all needy for me," chris mumbled, his finger sliding through your folds, groaning at the amount of slick he felt.

he didn't even give you time to respond before he was burying his head in between your thighs, his tongue lapping at your clit, sucking it into his mouth.

"christopher!" you moaned out, your back arching off the bed. the hand that wasn't wrapped around your throat was rubbing up and down your thigh, as if he was comforting you.

"taste so good," chris muttered, his lips moving to your entrance, licking a stripe up, before shoving his tongue in. he fucked you with his tongue, moaning at the way you were grinding against his face.

you couldn't focus on anything other than the way his tongue was fucking into you, the way his nose was nudging against your clit. the coil in your stomach was growing tighter and tighter, and you were sure you were about to come.

"chris, 'm gonna come," you whimpered, your hands reaching down, gripping his hair, pulling him impossibly closer. your hips grinned against his face, chasing the pleasure he was giving you.

chris could feel how close you were, the way your walls were fluttering around his tongue, and he could tell that you were trying to keep him close. "go ahead, sweetheart, come for me," he said, his words muffled. that was all it took for you to come, a loud moan leaving your lips, his name falling from them.

chris licked up everything you had to offer him, not wasting a single drop. his eyes were trained on your face, the way you were panting, trying to catch your breath. chris smiled, his lips trailing back up your body, kissing every inch of exposed skin he could. he finally reached your lips, connecting his own with yours.

you could taste yourself on his tongue, and the thought made you moan, a sound that was swallowed by chris' lips. his hand had left your throat, his fingers replacing his tongue. he easily slid two fingers into your cunt, your slickness allowing him to do so. you moaned into his mouth, your arms wrapping around his neck, pulling him close.

chris smiled against your lips, his fingers thrusting into you fast and hard, and it wasn't long before he was adding a third. you were already sensitive, your previous orgasm having barely settled, but you could feel another building, and it wasn't going to take long.

"gonna come again for me again, ma?" chris whispered, and you nodded your head, whines leaving your lips. "so pretty for me." his fingers were working quickly, his thumb rubbing harsh circles on your clit, his eyes watching as your face scrunched up. "come for me, baby."

it was as if his words were all you needed, and you were coming for the second time. your nails were digging into his skin, and you were sure you were drawing blood, but chris didn't seem to care.

"so good, princess," chris mumbled, his fingers slowly moving out of your cunt, bringing them to your mouth. “wanna taste yourself?” you opened your mouth, letting him shove his fingers in. you moaned, sucking your own slick off of his fingers, and the way chris was looking at you made your brain go fuzzy.

he pulled his fingers out, and he could see the glossy look in your eyes. "you good?" he asked, his hands holding the side of your face. you nodded, leaning into his touch. "mhm."

he chuckled, before flipping the two of you back over, so that he was on his back, and you were straddling him. "want you to ride me, angel." you slid down his lap slightly, your hands going to undo his belt. "take off your clothes, chris."

he didn't hesitate, quickly taking his shirt off. the sight of him shirtless had your mouth watering, but you didn't have time to admire it.

he lifted his hips, letting you pull his jeans and boxers down. you could see his cock, and fuck. it was big, and thick, and you weren't even sure you'd be able to take all of him.

"c'mon, baby. let me see how pretty you are on my cock," chris groaned, and his words had you moaning. you lifted yourself up, letting him line himself up with your entrance. "i'll go slow, angel."

he pushed you down, his hands on your hips guiding you. the stretch burned, and it took everything in you not to whimper. "fuck," chris cursed, his head falling back. his hands were gripping onto your hips so hard, his nails digging into your skin.

you could feel the tears welling up in your eyes, but once you bottomed out, you were fine. he gave you time to adjust, looking at you for confirmation before he started moving. you nodded your head, and that was all he needed.

his hips started thrusting up, his movements slow and gentle, and his eyes were watching your face for any signs of discomfort.

"more," you muttered, and he complied, his hips thrusting harder, his pace picking up. "always wanted this," chris groaned, his fingers wrapping around your throat, pulling you down to connect his lips with yours.

you moaned into his mouth, his hips thrusting up into you. the room was filled with the sounds of skin slapping, and the way his cock was hitting your g spot had you seeing stars.

"fuck, fuck, please," you cried out, and the sound of your pleas had chris grunting. he moved one of his hands, letting it rest on your lower stomach, putting pressure on it, making him hit that spot even harder.

"feel so good," chris grunted, his grip tightening around your throat. "you like it when i choke you?" "yes, yes, love it," you whimpered, as tears fell down your cheeks.

the sight of his best friend crying above him because of how good he was making you feel had his hips thrusting harder, his hands grabbing at your body. he was sure his fingers were leaving bruises, and the thought had him growling.

"look so pretty taking my cock like a good little slut," chris grunted, and the dirty talk had you whining. "yeah? my baby likes being called a slut?" you nodded, a loud moan leaving your lips. "my pretty little slut."

he flipped the two of you over, chris hovering above you. he had a hand wrapped around your throat, his other hand resting beside your head. his lips were right against your ear, his voice low, growling.

his hips continued to drill into you, your eyes rolling back. you were barely able to form any thoughts, let alone sentences other than whimpers and whines.

"you feel so good, baby," chris grunted, and the way he was speaking made you moan. "gonna come," you cried out, the familiar feeling in your stomach starting to build. "i know, princess," he said, his hand moving to grip the bed sheets, his hips thrusting into you faster.

"fuck, please," you begged, with the way his hand was wrapped around your throat it had you seeing stars. the pleasure was intense, and chris could feel the way you were shaking, your walls fluttering around him.

"such a pretty little slut, crying for her best friend as he fucks her," he whispered, and the words were all you needed, sending you over the edge, your high washing over you. you came with a loud moan, the tears that were previously falling were now streaming down your face, the pleasure was overwhelming.

chris continued his brutal pace, his lips sucking marks into the sensitive skin of your neck. he pulled out flipping you over, "hands and knees, angel." he waited until you got into position before shoving himself back into you, both of you groaning. he let his hands wrap around your hair, pulling your head back.

his lips were attached to the spot between your neck and shoulder, his hips moving impossibly faster. the feeling was so intense, you could barely breathe. "fuck, please, chris," you were mumble-whining, unable to form any coherent sentences. the feeling was too much, too overwhelming. "can't talk, ma?"

chris chuckled, and the sound made your eyes roll back. his fingers were digging into the flesh of your hips, and you were sure that if he didn't have such a good grip on you, you would have collapsed by now. "my dumb little plaything, hmm?"

you whined, his words going straight to your cunt, causing you to clench around him. "already dripping again, hm? you like being my dumb little toy?"

you nodded, and he chuckled, letting go of your hair and pushing your face into the mattress. the change in angle had him hitting a different spot, and he was sure the sounds that were leaving your mouth were inhuman.

"christopher, chris, please," you were begging, and it was music to his ears. "what's wrong, princess?" he said, his hand rubbing your back as his thrusts slowed. "it's too much," you mumbled, and he could see the tears staining your face, the drool leaking out of the side of your mouth. "too much ma?"

you nodded, and his eyes widened.

"you want me to stop, princess?" chris said, and he was ready to pull out, when you shook your head. "want you to come," you whispered, and he smiled. "yeah, angel? my girl wants me to come in her tight little pussy?"

you nodded, and that was all it took for chris. his thrusts picked up, his fingers gripping the flesh of your hips. "gonna fill you up," chris grunted, his words going straight to your core, and suddenly you were coming once again.

you could feel his hot cum filling you up, and the way he was fucking into you had his seed leaking out of you. chris' head was resting on your back, and you were barely able to support the two of you, as your legs were shaking.

he pulled out, his hand swiping over your cunt, pushing his cum back into you. "keep it in, yeah?" he muttered, and the words made you shiver. chris laid on his back, pulling you to lay on his chest, his hands running up and down your body.

"you okay, angel?" chris asked, his eyes searching yours. he was worried he had pushed too far, and while it seemed like it, he didn't regret it. "yes, more than okay," you whispered, leaning up to press a kiss to his lips.

"good, good." there was a moment of silence, before he chris was breaking it.

"if i ever see that bastard, i'll fucking kill him."

[luveline]

IM BEGGING ON MY KNEES PLEASEEEE 🔥🔥🔥 NOTICE MEEEE

Really quiet and shy reader who’s new to the team and Spencer JUST got out of prison like a month ago and he comes back and sees the cutest girl he’s ever seen so young and new to the team and can’t help but tease her

PLEASE PLEASE PLEASEEE🧎🏾‍♀️🧎🏾‍♀️🧎🏾‍♀️🙇🏽‍♀️🙇🏽‍♀️

Unit Chief Emily Prentiss scares the fuck out of you, but you're still not as intimidated by her as you are by Dr. Reid. 

Dr. Reid, and not Special Supervisory Agent Reid —there's a big difference— shouldn't be a scary guy. He doesn't have any tattoos or piercings, his haircut is tame, and you watch him pour enough sugar into his coffee to weaken the enamel of your teeth just looking at it. But while all or this is true, Dr. Reid just came back from a weeks long stint in one of the most tense prisons in the world. Emily assured you in her way that everything bad you may have heard about Dr. Reid would be false, and that anything positive is true. 

He looks different to how you'd pictured him. Emily's promise aside, Garcia painted him as some sweater-wearing Teddy bear of a boy who likes chess and Doctor Who. 

This is a man. Full grown, full suit, dark-eyes. You're not sure what to feel as he spots you. When Anderson gave you the desk across from Spencer's you'd thought you were lucky, getting treated as part of the team from the very beginning, but now you're not so sure. 

“Hey,” he says, eyes on you as he puts down his coffee atop a stack of medical journals. His things were left untouched while he was gone, even though he was technically separated from the bureau. He's well respected. “I've been excited to meet you. I'm Spencer.” 

“Dr. Reid,” you say immediately, standing up from your chair to meet him besides your desks. 

“Spencer,” he says again. “I don't shake.” 

“Oh, no, of course not,” you say, hiding your hands behind your back. “I know you were here long before me, but I can safely say how nice it is to have you back.” You smile. “They were all so worried about you.” 

“You kept them in line while I was gone?” 

“No, I was useless. I've never felt this stupid in my life.” 

“That's just how it feels for the first year.” He isn't smiling, isn't frowning, a hint of amusement in his eyes and hands steady as he tucks them into his pants pockets. “It's not the others, is it?” 

“No, there's just a lot to learn.” 

“It shouldn't be hard for you, though, right?” He gestures to you like this means something. 

“I don't…” 

“You're what, twenty four?” Spencer picks up his mug and takes a drink. “If you're smart enough to be here now, you'll be fine.” 

“You think so?” 

“Don't tell me you're scared, Y/N.” His lashes flare ever so slightly in feigned surprise. After a second of your obvious flustering, he laughs. “No, you don't scare easily. I can tell.” 

Absolutely nothing like you told me he'd be, Penelope. I thought we were friends. 

“So what was your last case like? The Bentley driver?” he asks, nodding toward your desk. “How's your peer reviews going? They used to drive me insane.” 

You startle and rush to sit in your desk chair, opening the case file from the last case to gather his approval. He flicks through pages, almost non-committal, though he gives a hum of approval when he reads your UnSub summary, and when he sees a comment you'd made that you'd believed to be particularly astute, he laughs. “Yeah,” he says, “you'll be fine.” The smell of him floats your way, cologne or aftershave that makes you feel dizzy. He looks down at you. “Something wrong?” 

“Nothing, uh–” You bite your tongue rather than answer and trip over another useless sentence. 

He touches the top of your shoulder lightly. “It will get easier,” he promises. 

He means work, of course, but for a split second you wonder if he means being near him. If he's like this often, you doubt that that's true. 

[prettyinpwn]

Stan Pines: A Masterclass in Character Writing and Symbolism AKA Stan is Godly, Literally (GF Writing Analysis Pt. 5)

If you're interested in reading a similar writing analysis on Ford Pines, please visit this page.

I've wanted to write a post on Stan for a long time, because I'm going to make a bold claim: he is THE best written character in Gravity Falls. I literally have never been able to find a flaw with his writing, and the reason? Not only does he have the markers of quality I mentioned in my post about Ford's writing (a want, need, character arc, realistic flaws), but...

I would also argue he is THE main protagonist and hero of Gravity Falls if I had to pin it down to just one, and his character arc matches the external conflict, that being Bill Cipher and the theme of growing up vs. staying in childhood and ego vs. selflessness, in ways that are just - and I'm not exaggerating - poetic. And the best part is, he had a lot more time and attention in the spotlight in the show than Ford, so everything I mentioned in the other post that was good about Ford's writing, ramp that up x100 for Stan.

His character also touches on multiple other fantastic themes: breaking generational trauma, healing broken familial relationships that seem unfixable, redemption, the misunderstanding of the family "fuckup" (although Stan is not that in the least, but that's part of his character arc), positive masculinity, true brotherhood, self-love, self-identity, and probably a million others I'm missing and will find out even just as I write this.

As for the godly part, well... you'll just have to read to the end. And no, I'm not kidding or exaggerating, either.

Okay, okay, gushing aside, let's get to the analysis. I'm not sure this will be as neatly structured as Ford's was, but there are just so many damn good things about Stan's writing that it's hard to stick to just one point. Let us begin.

Stan's Backstory: I Am Not Ford and That's Bad + Protecting/Providing for Family > Everything Else

So as I discussed in my post about Ford linked above, much of Stan's childhood revolved around Ford. His entire existence as a child was summed up by one question: how do I compare to Ford? This is especially emphasized in how their father, Filbrick, treated them. One of the end credits ciphers in the show reads as follows:

"A STUBBORN TOUGH NEW JERSEY NATIVE, FILBRICK WASN’T TOO CREATIVE, HAVING TWINS WAS NOT HIS PLAN, SO HE JUST SHRUGGED AND NAMED BOTH STAN."

Haha, very funny. But OUCH. Imagine knowing that your whole name is your name, was because your father only expected one son and was too lazy to come up with anything else. So literally, Stan doesn't even have his own name - his own identity - technically. Stan also was apparently the second twin born, so came in "second" even from birth, and being Ford's (either identical or very similar fraternal) twin, well... it's hard for someone to untie their identity from their brother's with those factors surrounding them as a kid.

There are many other factors that illustrate my point (Ford got Filbrick's name as his middle name, the way Filbrick literally put Stan on the lawn for sale as a kid for failing a test, etc). All in all, Ford receives their father's love, Stan does not, although we could argue that this isn't that great for Ford, not really, as I did in my post on his writing. Because it's a love that comes with a, "I'd also like to use you." attached (just like Bill, gee).

All in all, it's very obvious from all these context clues that Ford was the beloved one, and Stan was the unexpected one, from birth to the end of Gravity Falls, where he uses that to his advantage - albeit in a different context - to defeat Bill Cipher.

Worse yet, Stan happened to have a twin that was extremely smart and talented in a way that was easily noticed. Ford is a Golden Child, as I described in his own writing analysis post, and siblings of the golden child like Stan? Well... the other sibling(s) are often the Scapegoat. As the source in the last sentence states, the Scapegoat is "often blamed for family mistakes, discarded, neglected, and has been gaslighted into believing it was their fault. The scapegoated child is usually assigned at a young age and often carries this role through to adulthood and never loses the unfortunate title.". This can highly affect the Scapegoat's self-esteem, even into adulthood.

This page also covers the Golden Child vs. Scapegoat dynamic. Pay attention to these quotes from this source:

"You are the one the parent will come after when things are going wrong."

"You are subjected to their emotional and verbal abuse the most."

"You may even feel like you need to fix your broken family."

Also, take into account these panels from the comic, Lost Legends, released after Gravity Falls ended:

Yikes. A child doesn't say these things unless a parent has taught them that everything they do is wrong and they are lesser than their sibling. This kid's noticed how Filbrick looks with pride at Ford, but not him. And here's the thing: the item Stan stole in this comic that made Filbrick mad? Stan did it to clean it to make his father proud. Sound familiar? In the events of Gravity Falls, Stan works on the portal for thirty years and gets Ford back, and he gets... yelled at for it. Stan always has good intentions. Although, Ford has a point in the above comic panel: Stan does take shortcuts that get him into trouble. He did almost get jailed by the US government and end the universe to save Ford.

But this is a consistent theme with Stan's character throughout the show. Even WE as the audience first see Stan the way his family did - a conniving scoundrel and money-grubbing criminal - but through the events of the show, just as Stan's family starts to realize it, even when Stan does things that seem bad, like stealing radioactive waste, working on a portal described as a potential cause of the end of the world, has a ton of different identities, etc... we find out Stan had good intentions all along.

Even Stan's greediness? That need for money? That also stemmed from the same good intentions, because how ELSE was he going to afford Ford's mortgage to keep the Shack in order to keep working on bringing him home? It was also likely something ingrained into him from when he was kicked out. Because Filbrick told him, basically, until you make us the money that Ford losing his chance at West Coast Tech cost us, GTFO. Literally. :'(

So Stan... really IS not what he seems. He seems like a fuckup, a criminal, a liar, and a greedy conman. But really... he's a family defender, protector, and supporter. Want to have your mind blown? Intentional or not, let's look at the very first scene we see Stan in in the series:

"Oh look, I'm a monster!"

"Just kidding, I'm not. I'm someone else under what looks like a monster."

Yes. Stan's whole character arc is foreshadowed in like... three seconds in the first episode. The very first time we see him. Not just his arc, but also his role as someone that seems deceptively evil but is actually good. And not just the arc that Ford and Dipper take from distrusting Stan to finally understanding his good intentions, but also the realization WE as viewers have about Stan as we follow the story. Additionally - which we'll get into later - it's symbolic of Stan's internal character arc he takes across the series of realizing he himself isn't the monster that his father planted in his mind as a child, but a good person worthy of love.

All of that... in a few seconds of animation. If that wasn't intentional, then DAMN did the writing gods smile on the Gravity Falls team the day they planned this scene. Back to the point about who Stan really is: the family "fuckup" (not really, but we'll get to that later), and a family defender and protector. This is the true core of Stan's character throughout the whole series. Not only was he Ford's defender as a child, protecting him from bullies, but you know those scenes the fandom universally agrees on were Stan at his most badass? Ahem...

"Everything I've worked for, everything I care about, it's all for this family!"

"Turn around and look at me, you one-eyed demon! You're a real wise-guy, but you made one fatal mistake: you messed with my family."

Yeah. Look at what Stan is doing in EVERY single one of these scenes: protecting his family. And as bad as Filbrick was, just like I explained in the post I made about Ford's writing... Filbrick also passed down some things to Stan that make him the hero he is. And it's also stuff that Stan passes down to Dipper:

Yeah, it kinda sucked for Dipper at the time. Was it a perfect way of teaching a child to be tough? Er, no, although another mark of a well-written character is that they can make mistakes and have flaws; Stan's not perfect. And the fandom has criticized the way Stan passed down this lesson to Dipper, because it can be considered very similar to the way Filbrick passed it down to Stan. But look what it did: when the world fights and threatens his family, just like Stan, Dipper fights back. With punches, too:

So... to summarize this first part: Stan was taught from childhood "I'm not Ford, and that's bad. I am a monster unworthy of love that always messes up.", and his role is a family protector, which started with how he protected Ford from bullies as a child. This is the core of his self-identity. So let's get into the writing techniques that make a well-written character that I discussed in Ford's writing analysis post...

Stan's Core Want vs. Need

I'll quote my explanation of want vs. need from my own post on Ford I made about a year ago:

"When I took writing classes in college (and over years of writing in general and drooling over writing advice podcasts and blogs), I found that the best method for me, personally, when it comes to crafting characters is to focus on two major things:

1. Their want.

2. Their need.

On the surface, these look like the same things, but in character writing, they can be vastly different. For example, say that you have a character that greatly desires fame and recognition. They want these things.

But what’s the real reason behind it? Is it because they had a parent that was famous and want to live up to their example? Is it because they want to be adored by people? Is it because they were told they’d never amount to anything by someone and want to prove them wrong?

This real reason behind it all is the core need. Yes, they want fame and recognition, but they need it because, say, they have low self-esteem and need copious amounts of outside validation to boost it.

Tied to this need is usually a backstory reason (sometimes called their wound). Say your hypothetical character was bullied a lot as a child. Or abused by a parent. Etc. Whatever the wound was, it caused a big, painful hole in their heart that they try to fill and fix with their want.

So they go on a journey. The want is often the external journey. The need is often the core journey / character arc. Our example character seeks fame and recognition on an external journey, but deep inside, they realize they need something else, which is to understand that their past trauma/wound doesn’t define them, and fame and recognition will not be the balm they expect it will be. Often, they realize they had what they needed all along. They grow past their flaws associated with their seeking this want through understanding and instead pursuing the need."

I'll summarize Stan's character writing using these concepts right here, like I did for Ford in his analysis post:

“I want to be Ford because I want to be loved like he is, and I want to protect those I care about and do the right thing. But what I need is to realize is that who I am - not Ford, but Stan - was good enough all along, proven by how I've always protected those I care about, and I never NEEDED to be Ford in the first place. This stems from a wound from my childhood where I was a scapegoat child treated like a fuckup who never did anything right and could never measure up to Ford, and was conditioned to think that being like Ford was a ticket to earn familial love. I had what I needed all along: myself, because I am good enough and worthy of love, despite what my father taught me."

Stan's Arc: I Am Not Ford... and That's Okay

AKA Stan's arc is basically: learning to love yourself and be yourself, even when you were conditioned to think you have no value. Don't believe me? Guess what Stan does for thirty years: pretends to be Ford. And he literally does it by pretending to have died. He "kills" Stanley Pines AKA himself in a staged car crash to become Stanford Pines.

And guess how he defeats Bill? By pretending to be Ford. His greatest weakness is actually his strength, and then he flips it: he reveals to Bill that he's not Ford, he's actually Stan. And THAT'S when the antagonist of Gravity Falls is truly defeated - an antagonist that represents stasis, lack of change, and with The Book of Bill's context, an antagonist that never freed himself from his own past - is when Stan learns to accept himself and admit who he really is and learns to let the past go. And it's telling that this is what he says when he does it:

"Heh. Guess I was good for something after all." AKA: "Yeah, fuck what Pa said about me."

There it is. The moment of Stan realizing his father was wrong, and he was wrong for thinking himself a fuckup all those years. And this is the expression he pulls at this moment of realization; at the peak of his character arc, all while burning in flames like a phoenix reborn. It sounds corny when I put it that way, but LITERALLY, all the fire symbolism feels like it wasn't foreshadowing Stan's death, but his rebirth as himself after pretending to be Ford all those years. He's not burning who he is, he's burning away who he thought - who he was told - he was. Funny that it takes place in the mind, huh?

This is the face of a man who is at peace and finally loves himself for the first time in his life. That ain't just his mind burning. That's him punching his demon that's haunted him and his brother their whole lives, protecting his family as always, and, symbolically, punching a demon that represents the show's overall antagonist of the shackles of staying stuck in the past, forgiveness, and the value of moving on. He literally punches the antagonist - staying stuck in the past - to pieces and THAT'S when he wins.

Also, can we talk about how Bill and Filbrick share color schemes, and Filbrick even has a brick-like pattern in his suit (also, I mean... come on, he's got 'brick' in his name)? I'll let you make your own conclusion about what that means for Stan's character arc:

It's also telling that Bill Cipher's backstory is that he burned his home dimension and loved ones - including his family - to ashes. The Axolotl - Gravity Falls' equivalent of basically God, from what I can tell - says himself about Bill in one of the books released outside of the show:

"Saw his own dimension burn. Misses home and can't return. Says he's happy. He's a liar. Blame the arson for the fire."

Bill misses home. He wants the past and to hold onto his family, just like Stan and Mabel do. Isn't it funny how whenever Bill shows up... time stops?

And look what Bill says in Weirdmageddon: "This party never stops! Time is dead and meaning has no meaning!"

Time stopped. He just wants fun. He's almost like a child that never grew up. And... look at what it was that Stan wrecked in A Tale of Two Stans as a teenager:

A perpetual motion machine. That thing that's not supposed to stop, just like time. Stan 'breaking' time by wanting to hold Ford in the past, with him, instead of leaving him to go to college while Stan was stuck in the past/Glass Shard Beach? That's what broke their brotherhood.

But what makes Stan a hero, and Bill a villain, is that he lets go of the past and his childhood. Bill never does. And he's defeated when Stan lets go of the past, something Bill never did. Why? Because he has family to make facing the future easier. He has familial and self love. Bill doesn't, because he killed his own. (Sorry, got off track again, but Stan's arc and story ties so deeply to the other characters' and the main themes that it's hard not to take some detours, because it illustrates just how well-written Stan is. Gravity Falls' story IS his story.).

Wanna know something cute? Wanna know how Stan realized he had worth during that scene after he defeats Bill? Why I'm betting the show runners showed Stan clutching to a picture of Dipper and Mabel as this happens? I'll give you one guess why Dipper and Mabel are so important to Stan, and why he clutches to their photo even as his mind is burning apart in the finale:

They're the first family members since Ford (whose love he'd lost) who loved Stan for who he was, not for who they thought he should have been. Mabel trusting Stan in Not What He Seems is basically the first damn time Stan's heard in thirty plus years from a family member that, "Hey, I trust you have good intentions and aren't just a lying fuckup. You're not a monster. You're not what you seem.".

Also, he's protecting his family. That always makes him happy, too, of course.

Ego Death and the "Stan is Godly" Part

Yep, we're taking this analysis post train all the way to "damn this is deep and PrettyinPwn is likely crazy for noticing it" station. The only reason I'm tacking this part on is that I saw a Q&A with Hirsch recently that sparked my attention. He was on his The Book of Bill tour, and someone asked if there was anyone more powerful than Bill in Gravity Falls lore. Of course, Hirsch said the Axolotl, but what he said about what Bill vs. the Axolotl stands for caught my eye:

The video in question. The question and answer starts around 21:22. The quote I want to point out is, though, is what we learn about these two beings:

Hirsch: "Bill's weaknesses in terms of his overconfidence, his ego, and his lack of ability to focus on one thing at a time are things that a being that has no ego, thinks on a long scale, and does have empathy is actually stronger than him because of those things."

So when we boil the conflict of Bill vs. the Axolotl down to simple terms - what makes evil vs. good in the Gravity Falls universe - is this: ego and selfishness vs. no ego and empathy.

Guess which characters wrestle with these themes? The correct answer is: ALL of them. But especially Stan and Ford. This is really what their conflict is about at the core. They both struggled with ego and selfishness, and that's when - in the story - they lose most. But they win when they choose selflessness and empathy. When they... drum roll, please... partake in ego death.

Well, let's describe an ego death. First, we must define what an ego is (source for all of the following quotes):

Ego: "The ego is a sense of self that you develop at a young age." and, "-relates to your feelings about your own importance and abilities.".

*cough "I'm the family fuckup and poor man's version of Ford because that's what people taught me to believe in my youth." cough*

And an ego death "-is the (often instantaneous) realization that you are not truly the things you've identified with, and the "ego" or sense of self you've created in your mind is a fabrication. In some instances, it can offer a profound feeling of peace and connectedness with all that is, as the walls of separation the ego creates come crumbling down."

*cough "I'm not Ford's poor copy, I'm not a fuckup, I have worth, and I realize this in my literal mind as I pull this expression-

-of total peace as the walls of my mind literally BURN around me" cough*

And, "When one comes through on the other side having released all the things they've identified with, with only their true spirit left, Kaiser says, they begin to live from a place of pure love."

*cough "I'll hold a picture of the ones I love and realize self-love as my mind burns around me because this is who I really am: a man who protects and loves my family and my family loves me" cough*

Cheeky asides, well... aside, are you seeing what I'm getting at, folks? Look, I can't prove that Hirsch and crew intended all this, but in my opinion: you wanna know why there are so many gags of Stan or versions of him melting or burning in the show? Why fire is such an important symbol surrounding him? Why there are so many times he's killed his own identity and became a "new" man again and again and again, be it as a young grifter, or as a drifter who became his brother to bring him back again, or as an old man who "killed" his own mind to save the world and his memories returned?

Because it's ego death. The rebirth of true self from a lie you were living. That's literally what Stan's arc is a metaphor for. Even better, he reaches his character arc's zenith when he does this:

That's not an old man punching a stupid little bastard. That's an old man punching what threatens his family, punching his own past, punching his own demons, punching his brother's demon, punching his prior identity, and - given that we know that Bill is a symbol of ego now - punching the personification of literal ego and letting it burn. There are, let's count, seven symbolic meanings in that punch at the very least. Maybe eight if you count that the rightside-up triangle is the alchemical symbol for fire, and by Stan beating it, it's symbolism of his defeating the fire that's eating his memories AKA why he gets his memories back. I could find more, probably.

And yes, the chubby old conman we love so much - and is the opposite of spiritual both in action and in Hirsch's words (he's said Stan is an atheist as an adult) literally has a character arc where he attains spiritual enlightenment that aligns with the god of the Gravity Falls universe - the Axolotl, who has no ego as Hirsch said - hidden under many layers of symbolism. I don't know if Hirsch and the writing crew planned this with Stan, but holy damn... this is what I meant when I said that Stan is the best written character in Gravity Falls, even if this part was unintentional. There are just so many layers of meaning here.

And the best part? Stan was this hero all along. Everything we cheer him on for - be it punching zombies to protect his niblings or spending three decades of his life trying to get his brother back - is when he's being selfless and empathetic. We love Stan as a character because he has a big heart. He's a good person because, as we described above, he is - through beating ego in a universe where its god represents a lack of ego - godly.

No, fangirls, put the sexy Hunkle art down. I mean literally spiritually godly in the Gravity Falls universe, at least in the way good and evil is portrayed in the themes and worldbuilding. No, I'm not exaggerating, either. Let's return to that quote about the Axolotl's powers and why he's stronger than Bill:

"-that a being that has no ego, thinks on a long scale, and does have empathy is actually stronger than him (Bill) because of those things."

Well... guess what Stan does? He loses his ego so hard he regularly kills his own identity multiple times in his life and goes through a symbolic ego death, he thinks on a long scale (thirty years long), and is empathetic and selfless to the point of sacrifice. And the Axolotl in real life lore? Xolotl, the god of Aztec myth? Guess what he's a god of (source):

Why I highlighted "vulture"? Honestly, this is just a neat little thing I wanted to point out, and was a part of a massive theory I was writing about Stan and Bill that sadly never came to fruition (although I may return to it someday), but here's a hint: what was Stan and Ford's school mascot in New Jersey?

I'll let you take away from all the above what you will. Let's just say: there are a LOT of similarities between Stan and the Axolotl and its real life god counterpart, Xolotl. Does that that mean he's literally the Axolotl when I say he's godly in the Gravity Falls setting? Maybe not.

Here's one last odd something that caught my eye. This is also a leftover from that theory I mentioned above, but I'll just... leave this here, because I don't think anyone else has ever pointed it out before and it expands on what I've been talking about:

Stan in the opening. The first time we see this guy, technically. He's sitting in his favorite chair. And as we all know, he turns to look at something. But just where the hell does he turn to look?

Half of you are like, "Well, what? What's he looking at?". There's a blue glow to his right, and you know what that blue glow is? The tank, which happens to have...

Could be a coincidence, maybe unintentional, but it's... kind of odd, not gonna lie. To have a character that embodies the traits of the setting's god look over at the setting's god the first time viewers see him. Just... a bit strange... and Xolotl was also a shapeshifter god, and given that Stan goes through so many identities in his life... and axolotls are able to regenerate limbs and so are a symbol of healing and rebirth like Stan - whose whole story is about healing and having multiple "rebirths" - is...

Anyways, I've gotten far off track mentioning things from that theory just for fun that I never posted. I may still post it, so I won't spoil all of it or list any more of the very odd coincidences between Stan and the Axolotl, but all you need to know from this post is that Stan shares a lot of similarities with his setting's god in symbolism, and embodies the power of the Axolotl AKA godliness in the Gravity Falls universe: no ego, selflessness, and knowing how to play a long game, because those are exactly the traits he uses to defeat Bill, as well as the traits that help him resolve his character arc wound.

So... now what?

I'm not really sure what to put here, to be honest. This post was a lot more meandering than Ford's was, but that's because there are so many different aspects of Stan's writing that are amazing, especially in symbolism. I hope it was coherent and made sense. A part of me was considering leaving out the ego death and Axolotl parts, but I thought it interesting enough to keep in. Let me know your thoughts!

[hotvintagepoll]

Welcome to the HOT AND VINTAGE MOVIE STARS poll blog!

The Scrungly Little Guys (gender neutral) Contest will start THIS THURSDAY, September 26th. All contestants have now been processed and are ready to scrungle it up for your enjoyment. Reminder that this contest enshrines the weird, the off-putting, the comic, the character actor, and the strange cinema legend. If you need a reminder of what scrungle means, this picture is the golden standard.

All polls—including ongoing polls, previous rounds, old tournaments, the various shadow brackets, the Dracula Daily polls, and fun mini polls—can be found in the #hotvintagepoll tag. I am working on a more complete tagging system so people just here for the polls can navigate the blog more easily, but that's still in the works.

FAQs:

“Define scrungly?” For the purposes of this tournament, a contestant must noticeably present in some way as at least one of these: odd, bizarre, off-putting, disheveled, creeping, feral, small, filthy, silly, funny, kooky, comical, exhausted, or just plain strange. This contest presents a wide array of scrungly appeal, so not every contestant will hit every single one of these (but should, ideally, be a few of them). Scrungles were chosen based on how convincing their submitted propaganda was. This contest is all about oddball character actors, creeping henchmen, comic relief sidekicks—the side characters who never get the credit they deserve in proper rundowns of famous old movie actors.

"How do I decide who to vote for?" Vote on whoever seems scrungliest to you. Do not vote for someone based on hotness alone. The video propaganda, included under the cut, is highly encouraged for showcasing scrungles.

"Is this just like the hotness tournaments?" No. This contest is sillier.

"Hey! Some of these guys sucked and they shouldn't be here!" Yes, some of these guys sucked. I agree with you. For reasons I've gone into before, I don't exclude anyone from the contest for moral reasons, even if I personally think they were garbage. I do this because I cannot responsibly research and vet every competitor's background and legacy, and I'm not comfortable being the moral barometer for everyone, even in cases where I think it's really obvious. You are welcome to vote against people for moral reasons, but as mod I don’t post or boost negative propaganda about anyone.

If I see repetitive, trolling, or bigoted remarks in the comments, I will block you from this bracket. If you want to point out a competitor’s problematic aspects in the replies, that’s fine, but if I see bad-faith trolling, you will be blocked. I will also block if you start harassing other people voting on the polls. If you really hate that someone is winning, please post positive propaganda for their opponent instead.

I welcome additional propaganda for the scrungly little guys in reblogs or asks. I boost the best propaganda I see and try to boost equally for everyone. I don't accept propaganda that’s post-1970 or from non-film appearances. When sending your propaganda, please don't send me too many pics or videos at once (I max out at about four per ask.)

The views expressed in the propaganda are not my own. I don’t alter submissions beyond fixing obvious spelling mistakes. I do choose the poll pics, purposely trying to pick the silliest ones possible for this contest; if you think I could do even sillier, send me one I can use instead. If you think a contestant needs more propaganda, send me an ask with some and let me know if you'd like it added to the poll post if they make it to the next round.

“Who won the major hottie tournaments?” Eartha Kitt and Toshiro Mifune are the reigning hotness champions. They are both living it up by the pool in the sunshine, as far from the shadow realm as possible.

“The....the shadow realm?” All hotties who fail to continue in a hotness tournament are sent to the shadow realm, far below the crust of the earth where the sun never shines, a dark and dismal and gloomy place. (Boris Karloff keeps making everyone try his sherry-based guacamole.)

“Was [this famous person] submitted to any of the tournaments?” Try a tag search for them (ie, [#famous person name] in my search bar). If you still haven’t found your hottie, they either did not fit the criteria of working in movies from 1910-1970, weren't convincingly scrungly in their submission, or were not submitted at all.

“My FAQ isn’t on here :(” send me an ask! I love hearing from you guys—just please check these basics first.

Thank you for being here! Enjoy the polls.

Tournament schedule post-hiatus:

Ongoing: Dracula Daily casting polls

Starting September 26th: Scrungly Little Guys contest (gender neutral)

After that: Ultimate Hottie Tournament (top brackets of the hot men & hot women competing together)

TBD: Hottest On-Screen Couples (Astaire and Rogers, Bogie and Bacall, etc)

TBD: Horror Hotties (Frankensteins, Draculas, Brides, etc.)

TBD: Dandy Detectives (Marples, Sherlocks, Nancy Drews, etc.)

fun mini polls that pit sets of characters from the same movie together, like the Philadelphia Story or Seven Brides for Seven Brothers ones (these can be found in the #minis tag)

[crepes-suzette-373]

The specificity of 情

I'm very particular with identifying that Ichiji, Niji and Yonji only had their "情" removed (analysis part 1, part 2), and one of the reasons is because of this scene:

I personally choose to really isolate 情 as either sympathy or empathy rather than a catch-all "emotion" because the above scene shows that from the very beginning Judge never asked for all positive emotions to be removed. I also do not believe that he wanted them to be mechanical like robots or just following orders like the soldiers.

The fact that he wasn't perceiving the kids' very obvious affection as there being something wrong with them seems to mean that the ability to feel "some form of affection" was never meant to be erased. If he had thought that something was wrong, he'd have been surprised by this, like how he was surprised when the boys were laughing at their impending doom in Whole Cake.

The only counter I can think of is if there is actually a scene where the scientists went "Uh, sir, there's something wrong here" that sensei never showed us because he wanted to keep it as a surprise.

In which case, right now it probably means that if the brothers had been told to treat Sanji well, I'm pretty convinced they can come around and care for him just as much, even with broken emotions. I believe that the Whole Cake escape is a possible proof of that.

They came to help because they finally understood that Sanji is not useless, not a failure, and not beneath them. They helped because they do have the ability to care, they just didn't see the reason to feel that way for Sanji before. If they were able to learn this as kids, I believe they would've been able to get along just fine.

They didn't like that Sanji is different from them, but that can be changed by teaching them why being different doesn't mean "bad". With lacking sympathy, they might still laugh at Sanji if he falls and cries or something, and call him names every now and then, but otherwise won't be as terrible to him.

Sure, maybe I'm super wrong and there'll be some surprise reveal that actually Sora's medicine worked on all of them or something. It's just that there is still also room for the possibility that even if this is how the modification was intended the whole time, it doesn't mean they are devoid of the ability for at least affection of some sort.

I wish we'd seen how their interaction were like before the trainings began, it might help answer more definitively. For now it's very either/or, and I'm just analysing based on my own perspective.

This also doesn't address or solve Sanji's problem with it, since he doesn't want to be merciless and cruel even to enemies. Even if the modification never removed the ability to love he still wouldn't like it. That's a completely separate problem.

[larluce]

Arthur and Merlin travel back in time without knowing the other is from the future too AU

Tagging @aceauthorcatqueen , @fallenxjas , @smileytrinity ,@lucifertookmyshoe , @an-entity-i-think , @thecornerofbelu , @griffonskies , @odinjm , @cinnabon-sweetroll-tiramisu , @thelady-mary , @bennedict , @nightninjaboy , @st8-of-grace , @star-rie , @error-username-not-available , @dogberryrowan , @jamieweasley13 , @tansyuduri , @tercais , @robynnemrys , @evadne01 , @serasvictoria02 , @hairdryerducks , @hopeaha FINALLY STARTING WITH YOUR REQUESTS!! :D

LINKS TO THE OTHER PARTS OF THIS AU HERE: PART 1 , PART 2 , PART 3 , PART 4 , PART 5 , PART 6 , PART 7 , PART 8 , PART 9 , PART 10 , PART 11 , PART 12 , PART 13 , PART 14 , PART 15 , PART 16 (You're here) , PART 17

In "The Dragon's Call"

Uther talking with Arthur in the throne room.

Uther: (warnly) Who is he?

Arthur: (mad and anxious cause Merlin was stabbed and he's not there with him) You called me all the way here just for that? He's Gaius' appreantice. He told you that!

Uther: Don't take me for a fool, Arthur. I'm asking who is he TO YOU. (looks at Arthur, sternly) It's obvious that you knew him from before.

Arthur: (thinking) Shit... (says) We... met just 3 days ago.

Uther: (increasenly raises his voice in anger) And you expect me to believe that you made such a tremendous display just for some peasant man that you've known for 3 days?!

Arthur: That 'peasant man' just saved my life!

Uther: For which I'm greatful... but also suspicious.

Arthur: What?!

Uther: He took a knife for you, shielded you with his body... and called you by your name. Yet you insist you've only known each other for 3 days. (pauses dramatically) I'll ask again. What is that man to you?

Arthur: (sweats)

Gaius: (enters) You called for me, your Majesty?

Arthur: (surprised) Gaius! What are you doing here? You should be attending Merlin!

Uther: (sarcastic) Oh, you know his name too. What a surprise.

Gaius: (Looking at Uther, but reassuring Arthur) The boy is stable. The blade didn't puncture anything vital, but it was poisoned. I managed to extract the poison thought, so he is out of danger now.

Uther: You told me you recently hired this boy as your apprentice, right Gaius?

Gaius: Yes, sire.

Uther: How long has he been in The Citadel?

Gaius: Just a few days, sire.

Uther: Are you sure?

Gaius: Yes, he just arrived 3 days ago.

Uther: And he has never been in The Citadel before.

Gaius: Oh, no sire. Merlin is from Ealdor, an Essetir village located on the border. He's never been in Camelot before.

Arthur: (smiles smuggly) See?

Uther: (still not convinced but lets the matter be for now) You shouldn't act so distrough about strangers, Arthur. I expect better composure from you in the future.

Arthur: (hangs his head in a shame he doesn't feel) Yes, father.

Uther: (to Gaius) Your ward deserves a reward for his heroic act today.

Arthur: (thinking) Finally!

Uther: I'll give him 20 pieces of gold.

Arthur: (thinking) What?! (says) No! You can't reward him with that.

Uther: You think it's too much?

Arthur: Too little! He saved your son! Your heir to the throne! Or do you really think that my life it's worth just 20 pieces of gold?

Uther: (thoughful) I guess you have a point. How do you think I should reward him then?

Arthur: Status. Gold is precious but it ends eventually. Status is forever.

Uther: You want me to lord him? I can't do that. He's a peasant.

Arthur: But you can give him a position, maybe? In the royal household?

Uther: Hmm... It's not a bad idea. I'll have to check if there's an avaible position-

Arthur: (quickly) There's one!

Uther: (surprised) Really?

Arthur: (smiling) Well... I still need a personal manservant.

Uther: ...

Gaius: ...

Time skip. Uther talking to a servant.

Uther: (incredulous) He really did that?

Servant: (who had to confess under pressure) Yes, sire. The prince paid me to act as a victim while he pretended to bully me.

Uther: With what purpose?

Servant: (nervous) I... I don't know, sire. He didn't tell me, sire.

Uther: But you have a guess.

Servant: ...

Uther: You can speak freely. Nothing will be hold against you.

Servant: Well... my guess is that... the prince wanted to... get his now personal manservant's attention, sire. The prince stopped 'bullying' me when he arrived and defended me.

Uther: I've heard. He also let the boy go unharmed after he insulted him. After calling him... What did he call my son again?

Servant: A... prat... and an... ass, sire.

Uther: I see... (sighs) You're dismissed.

Servant: (between surprised and relieved) Really? I'm not in trouble, sire?

Uther: No, you aren't.

Servant: And I don't have to give the gold back?

Uther: (opens his eye wide) He gave you gold?!

Time skip. After the events of "The Mark of Nimueh"

Uther watches the knights coming back from a trip all cover in leaves and mud at night.

Uther: Where do you come from so late? (looks at them up and down) And so dirty.

Leon: Ahm... The prince entrusted us with an important mission-

Knight 1: (exhausted) We're looking for a flower.

Leon: (hits him)

Uther: A... flower?

Knight 2: A purple lily, sire.

Uther: Is it a lily with healing properties? A magic plant that endangers my citizens?

Leon: Ehm... no, just a regular purple lily, sire.

Uther: So my son order you to search for a purple lily in the middle of the night.

Knight 1: And he's still searching for one too as we speak.

Leon: (hits him again)

Uther: May I know why?

Knight 2: I think he wants to gift the flower to-

Leon: To a woman! We think he wants to gift a flower to a woman, sire. Though it's just a guess.

Uther: Right... (thinking) What a fussy woman. (says) He could have sent the flower to be painted if he needed a purple one that much.

Leon: He insisted it had to be naturally purple, sire.

Uther: Painting a lily purple is a luxury only royal can afford. I'm sure the girl would still appreciate it.

Knight 1: We told his highness that.

Knight 2: But he still insisted it had to be naturally purple, sire.

Uther: (thinking) I very fussy woman indeed. (says) I'm going to talk with him. This is ridiculous. There's a reason why we prefer to paint lilies purple. It's nearly impossible to find one that is naturally purple. He is never going to find-

Arthur: (entering, all cover in mud and leaves and with a purple lily in an improvised container in hand, very excited) I found it! Leon I... (stops himself when he sees Uther and composes himself) Good evening, father. (bows)

Uther: (explodes at seeing his son's embarrassing appearence) That woman is too fussy, she's making you act like a fool! Is not like she is your fiancée. If for her vagary of wanting a naturally purple flower you stoop to acting slavishly like a servant then Camelot is doomed! You are the prince! How can you give this image? have dignity! What kind of ignorant, uneducated, vulgar woman are you involving yourself with?!

Knight 1: (confused) I thought the flower was for his manser-

Leon: (covers the knight's mouth)

Arthur: (to the knight, seriously considering making him kill number 2) Innprudance*!

Uther: (his right eye ticing)... What?

Arthur: (thinking, kind of concerned) Has he always had a tic in his eye?

Time skip. After Lancelot's imprisonment.

Uther scolding Arthur in his chambers.

Uther: (furious) You imprisoned a man just because he touched your manservant?

Arthur: No, I imprisoned him because he was found in suspicious circunstances.

Uther: What suspicious circunstances?

Arthur: The part of the woods we found him in was burned! There was still spots of fire there and a big hole in the ground! The earth was shaking just before we encountered him, that's clearly sorcery! He could be in alliance with Nimueh for all we know!

Uther: (incredulous) Right... and it had nothing to do with the fact he was caring your servant in his arms when you arrived.

Arthur: Of course not! Do you really believe me that unreasonable?

Uther: Yes! You know why? Because everyone seems to believe that! Since you came back from your search of Nimueh, the whole castle doesn't stop talking about how you got a man arrested because he dare to touch your manservant!

Arthur: Well, it's not true.

Uther: Fine, if you're so sure he did sorcery, I'll prepare his execution inmediatly.

Arthur: I never said I was sure, just that I found him in-

Uther: Suspicious circunstances, I know.

Arthur: Like I said, I'm not unreasonable. I can't execute him for sorcery without solid prove.

Uther: But you're not going to free him either.

Arthur: Because of the suspicious circunstances.

Uther: So you're just... going to keep him in there.

Arthur: Yeah.

Uther: ...

Arthur: ...

Uther: I'm too old for this. (leaves)

Time skip. After Merlin moved in to Arthur's antechambers.

Uther being attended by Gaius in his chambers.

Gaius: (mixing a concoction in the king's tea) This should help you with your nerves, Sire. I don't know what to do about the tic in your eye though. I would recommend you to rest more.

Uther: How could I? I'm the king! I have a lot of duties to do!

Gaius: You could delegate some of your duties to prince Arthur-

Uther: Arthur! He's the reason I'm like this! Him and his greedy manservant! No offense, Gaius.

Gaius: None taken, sire. And I can assure you Merlin is nothing like that. He's just an innocent country boy. I think he's not even aware of the prince's affections for him yet.

Uther: That's what he's making everyone believe! But it's all an act, I can see it! He used his seductive arts to have my son in the palm of his hand!

Gaius: (puts the cup of tea in the king's hand) Whatever you say, sire. Your tea.

Servant: (Knocks door from outside)

Uther: Come in. (takes sip of his tea)

Servant: Your Majesty, (Bows) You asked to keep you informed of... uhm.. any important change related to the prince and his manservant.

Uther: (sighs and take another sip) What did he do this time?

Servant: The prince asked his manservant to move to his antechambers, sire.

Uther: (relieved) Oh... That's not so bad.

Gaius: (cheering Uther up) Is not bad at all! As his personal manservant he should have moved there from the start. I'm surprised the prince didn't ask him to move before.

Servant: (sweating, nervous) Yeah...

Uther: (sighs) There's more, isn't it?

Servant: Uhm... well... there are rumors, sire...that says that..ahm...

Uther: (demands) What?

Servant: The reason the prince asked his servant to move was because he brought another man to his room, sire.

Uther: (breaks the cup of tea in his hand)

Gaius: (sighs, to the servant, calmly) Bring me another cup and some bandages, please.

Servant: (bows and leaves)

Uther: Gaius.

Gaius: Yes, sire?

Uther: You have brought a seductive demon to the castle.

...

Uther finding out about arthur's weird obsession with merlin ☑︎

*Innprudance is the actual name of the Knight just so you know. And it fits him perfectly.

Credits to my best friend Rosangela, who helped me with some dialogues and situations, no only in this part, but several ones. Love you so much! ❤️

[wileys-russo]

never being able to finish a movie with golden retriever unc lessi because she can’t sit still for that long and the two of you just end up messing around and making out instead 😫😫😫 I want her to kiss me SO BAD

golden girl II a.russo

you tapped your foot impatiently as you knocked on the door of your girlfriends dorm room, not having been able to see your favorite blonde all day which had felt like an eternity.

normally the two of you were attached at the hip, both exceedingly needy, but with her championship game coming up alessia was having to do extra training sessions almost daily, and with your finals in full swing you were needing to study.

things in which you were unable to help one another at all.

you were dangerously uncoordinated with a football and your girlfriend was dangerously distracting when you were trying to focus on your revision.

but you'd finally finished your last test today, and alessia had finished training early due to the heat wave which had decided to roll in just in time for the weekend. which finally meant the two of you could spend some quality time together again, both having been texting the other all day about how much you missed them, despite having seen one another just last night.

like you said, you were both exceedingly needy, and forever teased by your friends for your obvious co-dependency.

when she didn't answer you knocked again, in fact you knocked continuously until you finally heard footsteps hurrying closer on the other side of the door.

"oh my god i was literally using the toilet can you-"

"catch me!" you sang out, suddenly launching yourself at the taller blonde, jumping on her and wrapping your legs around her waist as she stumbled slightly but caught you, flinging the door closed.

"hi baby!" the blonde beamed happily, any previous annoyance at your feverish knocking completely wiped away. "hello gorgeous." you grinned, grabbing her face and smashing your lips to hers, pulling away with a slight smack as your mouths seperated.

"i missed you." alessia's entire face lit up as she placed you gently back down on your feet, drawing your body into hers and peppering your face all over with kisses. "i missed you more. how was training?" you both exchanged a few proper kisses and sat down on her bed.

"god it was awful. we were doing wind sprints and conditioning and it was so hot!" alessia groaned at the memory, collapsing backwards into the mattress, both of you shuffling around so you were sat up against her headboard and her head lay in your lap.

"if even i think its hot i can't imagine what its like for your poor british skin." you teased, tangling your hands in her hair. this then prompted her into an infamous ramble, the girl chattering away happily as you hummed occasioanly to show her you were listening.

"oh! hey i saw this video babe i wanna try something." she shot up suddenly, frantically changing subject, scrambling for her phone and tapping through for a moment. "no way, you'll drop me!" you shook your head in refusal at what she was propsing.

"no i won't! look at these." she made a show of flexing her muscles as you rolled your eyes, fake yawning and checking the time on your imaginary watch, squealing as your girlfriend tickled your sides for the action.

"come on." she stood, grabbing your hands and tugging you with her, laying down on the floor and assuming the right position. "like the video." she encouraged, propping her legs up and holding out her hands for you to grab.

"lessi i really don't think-" "don't think, just do. just trust me!"

you gave in with a sigh, shuffling closer and very carefully moving so you were stood basically on the balls of her feet. "see!" alessia grinned, pushing her legs upwards as you made a strange noise and your girlfriend held you up in the air.

"i'm gonna let go now." "baby no!" "it'll be fine, okay in 5, 4, 3-" "if you drop me i swear to-"

though of course your sentence was cut short as she dropped your hands early and you wobbled, going toppling down on top of her as the blonde let out a loud grunt as your body collected with hers.

"i told you! idiot." you smacked her shoulder and sat up, rubbing at your ribs which had copped the force of most of the fall. "oh that reminds me! lotte did this insane slide tackle today babe." with that your past activity was forgotten, alessia eagerly jumping to her feet.

you smiled in amusement as she threw her whole body into her story telling, hands flying around and legs kicking out violently as she avidly re-enacted various things which had happened to her today making you laugh.

your beautiful golden retriever of a girlfriend.

~

"babe can i braid your hair please?" you hummed with a nod at her request, adjusting your position laid up in between your girlfriends legs.

her slender fingers carefully let down your hair, combing through it gently as your focus remained on the movie playing on her laptop which was perched precariously on a stack of textbooks at the end of the bed.

both of you having joined your friends for dinner earlier in the evening you'd cut your time with them short, returning to alessia's room to shower and soak up all the quality time you could with one another before she'd be busy most of the weekend preparing for the championship.

to your surprise the blonde had suggested the two of you watch a movie, the heat still relentless and the air thick and humid, not letting up no matter how late into the night it ticked.

both of you were laid together with alessia only in shorts and a sports bra and you in a large shirt of hers opting out of shorts entirely, sleeves rolled up to your shoulders.

though given the shortness of your girlfriends attention span you were impressed you'd gotten even halfway through the movie, the heat seeming to calm her normally hyperactive behavior.

but it would appear, you spoke far too soon.

"baby i'm bored." the girl sighed heavily, growing tired of playing with your hair as her arms flopped back down to her sides. "watch the movie then." you smiled, craning your head back to press a sweet kiss to her jaw, grabbing her arms and wrapping them back around you.

that seemed to work for about ten minutes.

"baby i'm still bored." she whined, head thumping against the headboard with a groan. "we can do something else after this finishes lessi." you promised, squeezing her hands which were intertwined as your eyes stayed trained to the laptop screen.

"...or we could do something else now?" she husked in your ear, your body tensing in her arms as she started to kiss at your neck. "i really want to see how this ends babe, go practice your juggling or something." you shrugged her away, now only around a half hour left of the movie you were determined to see its resolution.

"it's too hot for that." the blonde pouted, chin resting on your shoulder as her hands left your own, creeping their way up your body and you knew where she intended them to land. "alessia." you warned quietly, far too used to the outspoken girls antics when she didn't get her way.

"mm?" she hummed, her hands sure enough dipping down the collar of your shirt and settling themselves on your chest. "no baby." you sighed in amusement, grabbing her wrists and removing them, holding them back around your waist.

"yes baby." she yanked them away and quickly reassumed her position, squeezing your chest teasingly. "no!" you laughed, removing them again much to her impatient protests.

"but i can't sit still babe, can we pleasee makeout or something." alessia almost begged, her knees starting to bounce beneath you as her lips peppered kisses along your bare shoulder. "there is like twenty minutes left lessi, play with your phone or something." you denied her again with a small sigh, eyes still refusing to leave the screen much to your girlfriends growing need and annoyance.

"you could pause it, we have a little smooch, watch the ending, continue to smooch...maybee a little extra afterwards." alessia suggested with a wry smile, teeth tugging playfully at your ear lobe.

"smooch? who the hell's been teaching you to say that?" you laughed, your girlfriend groaning as you ignored her request. she tapped your shoulders and grumbled she needed to use the toilet as you sat up to allow her to get up. you blew her a kiss as she continued to pout at you moodily, huffing when your head turned back to the movie.

she returned a few moments later, flopping herself down on top of you and ignoring your whines it was too hot as her legs settled either side of your hips. "what are you doing?" you sighed as she basically laid herself down on top of you, pressing her face into your neck.

"just watch your movie baby." she whispered, your eyes fluttering shut with a wince as her teeth suddenly sank into the tanned flesh of your shoulder.

"lessi!" you managed to breathe out as the girl left a feverish hickey, her tongue gently swiping over the bright red mark to soothe its sting, quickly moving onto the column of your throat, sucking aggressively at the skin making your hips buck involuntarily.

"no no, you just watch your movie babe." you felt her smile into the skin as she attacked your neck, holding your hands down to the mattress as you tried to grab at her. "shit." you hissed as she left a particularly nasty lovebite on your collarbone, kissing over it gently and murmering how much she loved you in your ear.

the movie long forgotten now your eyes closed and your head pressed back into the pillow with a needy whine as the taller girls knee came to slot in between your legs.

you exhaled shakily as the striker purposefully pressed down right where you needed her, but intentionally not with enough pressure to satisfy the way her lips destroying your neck right now was making you crave her.

"tell me how the movie ended baby, or no more touching." alessia grinned down at you with a wicked glint in her eye, loving nothing more than to rile you up so your energy levels matched her own which were constantly soaring.

"they all murdered him." you managed to get out as she pulled your shirt up with her teeth, leaving a trail of sloppy kisses up your stomach and sternum, the sight only driving you further toward insanity as she pressed her knee down a little more firmly, teasingly moving it round and round in slow circles.

"oh really? why?" she asked, nose tucking itself back into your neck as her kisses became sweeter, her tongue lovingly tracing its way across the scattered galaxy of marks you both knew you'd be yelling at her for later.

"he was-he was a bad man. ripped them all off!" you stammered out, the blondes mouth now hovering over yours with a hum. with expert precision she leaned back slightly, using her foot to slam the laptop closed, cutting off the sound and plunging the room into silence.

finally letting go of your hands you wasted no time grabbing the back of her neck and pulling her mouth to meet with yours, a messy clash of lips, teeth and tongue as the two of you shifted and rolled against one another, quiet moans echoing around the dorm room.

you huffed as alessia again pinned your hands by your head, grinning down at you cheekily as she pecked your sweetly lips a few times. how the girl could go from assertively sexy to cute and goofy in a matter of seconds would always baffle you.

"my most pretty girl." alessia murmured affectionately, smiling at you lovingly for a moment before letting go of your hands and pressing a tender kiss to your sweaty forehead.

the striker then rolled off of you, claiming she was now far too hot to continue, leaving you hot and bothered in another way as you looked to her in disbelief, the blonde reaching over for her laptop.

"so, what should we watch next baby?"

[star-anise]

So, Easy Beauty by Chloé Cooper-Jones is not by any means a straightforward tale of the specific traumas and experiences of being a disabled woman. In many ways, it's an examination of how holding onto those traumas too tightly can keep you not just from positive chances for connection and experience, but understanding when your choices and behaviours are hurting other people.

But. It does talk about the trauma. And specifically, this splinter I've spent months now slowly drawing out of my soul, because this never happened to me except for the version of it that did happen to me. In her case, it was a conversation with a friend in high school:

I approached him in the library of our school. He was studying for a geometry test. He saw me, closed his notebook, and smiled. “I feel like,” he said, teasing me, “there might be something you want to talk to me about.” I told him yes, there was, and I said that I wanted to go to the homecoming dance with him and would he take me. “Of course,” he said. Relief flooded through me so quickly it turned my stomach. “But,” he continued, “there’s something very important I need to talk to you about first.” He proceeded to tell me that our female friends had been pressuring him for weeks to ask me to the dance, not wanting me to feel left out. “They love you,” he said, “but they pity you and their pity won't help you in the world.” I can, to this day, recall the exact even tone in his voice, his smile. He reached across the table and took my hand. “I want to tell you something as your friend,” he said. “I want to protect you. When you ask a man like me on a date, you put us in a bad position.” He was still smiling; I was having a cute delusion and was in need of his loving, if uncomfortable, correction. “It’s just the truth,” Jim said. “No man will want to date you unless he, too, is desperate or ugly.”

What I've felt, since I was very young, was this sense not just that no one would ever love me, but that I was so pitiful, so unlovable, such a complete failure of femininity, that expressing interest in another person was tantamount to forcing them to pity-fuck me. And how could I do something that horrible to them?

Well, at least in the years since then, I've learned that actually people feel no compunction about rejecting me!

I have almost always felt like such a complete failure at femininity, to the point that discussions about the female experience feel hypnotically surreal, because these things never happen to me. Y'all get catcalled and hit on? I'm struggling to dredge up memories of experiencing that firsthand. I grew up with grownups always warning me about men who'd want me for sex but didn't actually love me, and now I'm like... being wanted for sex? What's that like? I have literally ten seconds of experience of my desire for someone else being something that excited and interested them.

This is my own personal neurosis, not a prescription for widespread behaviour. But I've always kind of hated when people talk about slowburn romances and stories with pining as "two idiots in love" because on a visceral level, it doesn't feel stupid to me to believe you're repulsive and nobody will ever want you. It has always felt like the natural and obvious conclusion to enter adulthood with.

Up until two weeks ago I've always been very careful to describe my feelings about my body as part of me being crazy--I hate the way I look, I don't like seeing or hearing recordings of myself, I think I'm not pretty. Because obviously that means I'm actively working to rid myself of those emotions and attitudes! I've got it handled! I've admitted that I have a problem!

And that's because I always had it locked away in my heart that if I tried to make a factual claim about being ugly, people would say "No you're not!" just to make me feel better, and then I would never ever know if anyone who found me attractive really meant it, or if they were just doing it out of pity.

That is crazy. That's holding onto the lesson of that fucking shitbag who found Chloé attractive and fuckable two months fucking later once he got over himself. That's sitting around waiting for someone to come climb up into my unfuckable tower and do all the work of establishing a relationship themselves. That's lesbian sheep behaviour.

It's only just begun to feel possible that I could begin to take steps to seek people out and express interest in them, instead of holding perfectly still and making someone else do all the heavy lifting to get to me, when I haven't even made it known I wanted them to.

But this doesn't get talked about as part of "the female experience". When men talk about women's experiences in the dating market, they absolutely never mean women like me. Why bother with the experiences of women they wouldn't want to fuck anyway? It's not like we're people or some shit like that.

[realisticjupiter]

heyy! I just miss your writing ;) so i'm here to ask for drunk chishiya who suddenly comes to the reader's house at midnight and relieves his stress on her? (can be fluff or smut, you decide)

ꔫ ⸝⸝ summary: a drunk chishiya waking you up in the middle of the night, was definitely the last thing you'd guess.

ꔫ ⸝⸝ pairing: chishiya x gn!reader

ꔫ ⸝⸝ genre: fluff

ꔫ ⸝⸝ warnings: drunk!chishiya , lmk if anything else

ꔫ ⸝⸝ word count: 850

A/N: okay listen . . . I might've gotten a bit off track. BUT, I kind of like it?!! I also decided on fluff since he's drunk but, hey, I'm down for a pt2 if you are!!

Lost in a daze of sleep, peaceful and calm as you shut your eyes and allowed yourself to fall into the void of darkness people called sleep.

That was all interrupted by the loud banging of the front door. Your first thought was to ignore it; it was in the middle of the night and you couldn't be bothered.

But it didn't just stop the first time, it happened again, and once more before you finally--and annoyingly, got up from bed to see who could be so inconsiderate.

When you opened your door, you fully expected it to be some stranger, or someone informing you of some terrible news that was so important that it couldn't wait until morning.

You definitely didn't expect it to be Chishiya.

The white haired man standing outside your door, his hair disheveled and his dark eye bags visible under the moonlight. It wasn't just out of character for him to be standing outside your door, but you could smell the stench on his clothing; he was drunk.

"Chishiya?" Your voice was soft from the past action of your interrupted sleep, rubbing your eye with the back of your hand as you tried to decipher what was in front of you.

"Can I come in?" Chishiya muttered with a broken tone, his gaze never meeting your eyes as he stood there; unsure of what to do with himself.

"Uh--i guess..." You replied, taking a step to the side as a confused look found its way onto your face. "What are you doing here?" You asked as you watched him walk past you, his unsteady balance becoming obvious with each step.

"I don't usually drink..." He whispered to himself, his palms pressing into his eyes as if he was trying to pop them back into his skull. Doing anything to get this feeling he had to go away.

"Yeah, I know. You never saw a point in it, at least--that's what you told me." You shrugged, shutting the door and locking it behind him. He won't be able to bring himself home walking around like that..

"I don't!" Chishiya's voice was far more stern when he spoke, his head turned towards you as he did so. He didn't have much time to react to himself, just standing there like some type of horror movie.

"Okay.." You nodded, trying your best to keep a soft tone. "Everything okay?" You finally asked, taking small steps towards him. You felt like you were walking on eggshells. You've never seen him drunk, hell--you don't even think he's ever been drunk. You had no idea how he'd act in this state, and you were almost afraid to find out.

"No, everything's not okay. You think I'd be drunk if they were?" His words were sharp, digging into every spot his mouth could hold.

"You're right." You nodded, stopping a foot in front of him. "What's not okay, Shuntaro?" Your words came out in a whisper this time, you wanted him to feel more comfortable. Switching his name was a way of telling him that he could be, at least you hoped that's how he'd take it.

"I don't want to be drunk anymore." He groaned, his eyes moved away from you to aim behind your body. Spotting the couch under the dim light that casted from behind the curtains.

He didn't hesitate to walk past you and towards the comfortable couch that was calling his name.

"Chi--Shuntaro." You called out for him, not doing much as he sat down but quickly changed positions to spread his body across it.

You honestly felt bad for Chishiya. It must've been really bad if he felt the need to break the promise he had on himself. You almost felt glad that he didn't like being drunk, but you were also afraid if it happened again--he'd come to enjoy it.

"How do I make it go away?" He asked, his tone had completely changed. He sounded sincere, like he truly needed an answer or he'd go more insane than he already has.

You sighed walking towards him, stopping at the head of the couch to look down on him. "Get some rest, you'll probably wake up with an undeniable urge to throw your brains out. Bathroom is down the hall." You tried to be humorous with your words, but it was obvious he wasn't having it.

"I forgot about hangovers." He mumbled, turning his head to face the head of the couch. Like a child finding comfort in the small spaces, that's the only way to describe what pushing yourself into the crevice of the couch felt like.

"Mhm, they're different for everyone. Just go to sleep, you can actually talk to me in the morning." You suggested, grabbing the throw blanket from on top of the couch to lay on top of him.

"I'm serious. You better still be here when I wake up." You whispered, his body having no response as you walked back to your room--soft breathing following the body laid in your living room.

reposts and comments are appreciated <3

[anghraine]

This isn't going to turn into All US Politics All The Time blog for four years (all going about as well as possible). And I don't begrudge anyone finding comfort where they can from the various state-level small victories—the GOP losing their incredibly corrupt supermajority in NC and failing to take the governor's seat, various state measures to protect or at least advance abortion rights, my candidate for governor winning in my own state, decent performances in a lot of House races, the predictable Senate disaster not being quite as bad as it might have been in this environment.

But for me, there is something discouraging about these as well, and something overlooked in the comparisons to the 2020 election. To me, the obvious point of comparison is less 2020 than 2016.

[This is not an even slightly positive post—putting most of it below the cut so you can skip if you don't want further doom 'n gloom.]

Trump's victory in 2016 was more shocking, yes, but it came with a lot of qualifications. Most obviously, the majority of people who voted in 2016 didn't vote for him, and while this didn't change the result of the election, it did affect the sense of what was going on nationally. Hillary Clinton, a flawed candidate under investigation during the election (however obviously politically motivated that investigation—and it was reopened right before Election Day) and the object of a 30-year misogynistic campaign of relentless, unabashed right-wing and journalistic hatred, and the leader of a campaign that made some clear tactical missteps, was preferable to Trump for the majority of voters even without certainty about what his administration would do. And people could and did lie to themselves about what a Trump administration would be like because he was a posturing blowhard who'd never held office. I always thought "Trump's just saying stuff, he's really going to outflank Hillary from the left!!!" was stupid as fuck, but it's a thing people convinced themselves of.

But in 2024, we know how bad the Trump administration would be (and there's no reason to think this one won't be worse—quite the opposite). We saw how his COVID response made a bad situation orders of magnitude worse to the point that morgues were overflowing with dead bodies. We know about how unethical he is because he's been found legally liable in relation to crimes of corruption and rape. He encouraged a coup to overthrow the last election. And Kamala Harris has far less political baggage than HRC did, is more progressive, ran a better campaign, had no October Surprise, and yet is losing the popular vote quite badly (right now, with 89% of the vote counted, Trump is ahead by about five million votes).

And seeing that people are voting to protect abortion rights in their state or ousting obviously corrupt state officials etc and then also voting for Trump is on one level—okay, so ordinary voters only sort of align with the cackling evil of GOP politicians' schemes and will at times vote to restrict their awful policies even in very red states. On a pragmatic level, that's better than being fully aligned with those policies. But on another level, I find it appalling. This loss isn't about any particular policy and I think you're fooling yourself if you think any One Magic Trick could have changed this result—that was possible in 2016, potentially, but not in this election. A lot of people are voting against specific Republican agendas and then voting for Donald Trump and JD fucking Vance.

Obviously racist misogyny (and misogynoir particularly) is likely a major culprit given that this disparity wasn't present even in far more unfavorable-on-paper conditions in 2016 against a profoundly unpopular white woman after an eight-year Democratic administration. There's the weird cult of personality around Trump. Etc. But I'm also thinking about how the most successful period for Democrats during this cycle was when they veered away from anything to do with actual policies and were like "these Republican politicians are the weird freaks with bad vibes actually." I'm thinking about how the vast majority of the country went significantly rightwards even in many places that Harris or Democrats won.

And it's like... maybe we won't become an autocracy, maybe he'll have another disastrously awful administration that isn't as much worse than the first as we fear, and public opinion will turn against him again and his sheer unpopularity will drive backlashes favoring Democrats in 2026 and 2028. But even that best case scenario isn't fixing what's wrong here.

[itsrainingbubbles]

Luffy goes to the gym for the first time and he has absolutely no idea how to use any of the equipment

Of course he's strong and when he figures out how to use the machines he does it with ease but that involves a lot of trial and error on his part (he completely ignores the pictures on the machines telling you how to use them)

Hes been at the gym for roughly 2 hours when law approaches him, having been on and off watching Luffy while he's been struggling

Law thinks he's cute and takes pity on him so he decides to help him and shows him how to use the machines

All too soon (in luffy's opinion) law declares he has to go much to luffy's displeasure because law didn't even wanna exchange contact information! ("No I don't want to be friends I'm just trying to help you so you stop making a fool of yourself")

Not one to give up Luffy continues going to the gym at the same time hoping to run into law again, and a few days later he does see law again

He tries to talk to law but law insists that Luffy go do his own workout and to leave him alone, Luffy pouts about it but then he gets an idea

"but I need more help! I don't know how to use those machines"

"I told you this last time, just look at the drawings and read the instructions"

"I...can't read?"

"really now?"

So Luffy is obviously lying and is looking to the side like he always does when he's lying but it's amusing to law so he plays along and "helps" Luffy, who is doing it exaggeratedly bad, Law has to reposition his body on pretty much all of them

It started with just his hand placements being off and law repositioned him but Luffy kept progressively doing it worse and worse so law would put his hands on him and help him

When Luffy did one particularly bad, his cheeks flushed and avoiding eye contact, law just raised his eyebrow at him but said nothing as he grabbed him by the waist, which is exactly what Luffy wanted, and moved him to the correct position

When Luffy deliberately kept his arms and legs in the incorrect position law repositioned them too

When they meet again at the gym Luffy pulls the same stunt, law just looks at him with an amused smile but one again says nothing and continues to "help" Luffy

The next time they meet Luffy has pretty much run out of machines

"you can't tell me you don't know how to use a treadmill"

"I don't!"

"Well for starters, stop doing a hand stand"

"uhh- I don't know how?"

"Seriously?"

So law has to pick him up and put him right side up, then he has to turn him around because Luffy insists he doesn't know what law means when he says he has to face the other way

Law obviously knows Luffy likes him, and he likes Luffy too otherwise he wouldn't have kept playing along, but he refuses to say anything just to see how far Luffy will go

Law even starts going to the gym daily so he sees Luffy more often and Luffy runs out of excuses even faster

"I heard you need to stretch before a workout but I think I'm doing it wrong"

"i forgot how to use this machine, can you teach me again?"

"I'm tired after using this machine, can you help me up?

After Luffy "forgets" how to use every machine at least twice and goes through the most obscure warm ups that law hasn't even heard of, law gives in and asks Luffy out though not without teasing him a bit

"id ask for your number so we could text but you apparently can't read, so I don't think this will work out because I hate calling"

"I can read! I uh, just learned, so it'll work!"

Law will never let Luffy forget how they met and how obvious he was even years later he'll still bring it up

[centuryberry]

Imperial Harem Novel AU

Note: This wasn't really requested, but I've already summarized the Replanted AU, Abandoned Yue AU, and the Fae AU, so why not this one? This particular AU has a place in my heart - mostly because it's silly. Also because there was a plot twist in there that I never managed to address so I'm writing it out now.

Summary: When Wukong wakes up in a trashy imperial harem novel he'd been reading, he's horrified. Why? Because he's in the body of a character who shares his name - a tyrant king who causes a lot of pain and suffering to everyone including the female lead. Wukong decides that, since he's here for the time being, he was going to fix the other him's mistakes and leave the world better than he found it by the time he finds a way back home.

(Sounds easy enough as a concept, but Wukong can't act for his life and he has serious imposter syndrome. Oh well, time to spam the amnesia button and fake it 'til he makes it.)

Everyone Else's POV:

The Monkey King was a tyrant who either spilt blood or added to his large harem. He selfishly ignored the matters of the crown and contributed to the suffering of his people.

Queen RinRin is left to manage the throne's affairs on her own, frustrated by her husband's selfishness and destructive tendencies.

Consort Macaque is tormented by the endless string of lovers his husband takes. He grows resentful after so many heartbreaks and lets it out on the harem. Violently.

Concubine Shanzha heard the rumors about the king. She tries to keep her head low but she's somehow gained his attention. And she's scared of all the trouble that is going to come with it.

Unexpectedly, the Monkey King suffered a head wound and was bedridden for days. Perhaps it was an assassination attempt? No one knows.

It didn't matter because the Monkey King woke up without his memories. It caused a bit of chaos all around. Everyone expected even more trouble.

To everyone surprise, he didn't.

The king started to participate in state affiars. He was clumsy and inexpierienced, but he was still trying his best. RinRin finds herself charmed by this new version of her husband.

While he doesn't remember Macaque, the king has become far more considerate and had dissolved the harem. The consort's resentment and bitterness was all but forgotten.

While the majority of the harem disbanded, Shanzha had to stay because of her political hostage position. But...it wasn't that bad? The king was respectful and gave her a lot of agency. She could pray and shoot at the archery range when she pleased.

Everyone doesn't say it out loud, but they liked this new king better. They hoped he never got his memories back.

Wukong's POV:

He's freaking out y'all.

I mean, it's pretty obvious, but it still needed to be said. He was freaking out.

Wukong didn't finish reading the novel before he was yeeted into it. He got so frustrated that he tossed it away. He regrets it so much now.

Wukong is the sheer definition of faking it til you make it. He spammed the HELL out of his amnesia while he tried to get into the groove of his role as Emperor.

Wukong's initial goal was to survive and not have any one find out he was an imposter. Then, after seeing just how much the OG!Wukong fucked everything up, he took it upon himself to unfuck as much as he can.

Good news: Wukong is making more progress than he expected. He's taking some of the load off of RinRin's shoulders by participating in meetings; he's taking away the major stressor in Macaque's life by dissolving the harem; and he's trying to make Shanzha's time in the kingdom as bearable as possible.

Bad news: All three of them somehow took his actions as an invitation to start trying to seduce him. Don't get him wrong. They're all gorgeous and amazing - Wukong isn't blind - but he's not really their husband. He's just some loser who hijacked their real husband's body. So he puts on the "I don't know I'm dumb" vizor on and hopes to high hell that no one sees through it.

They eventually do, so Wukong elects to scream and run.

When Shanzha opened up to Wukong and told him about her life and of her niece, he cried. He was always a sucker for tragic backstories. Why didn't the novel talk about this?

Not long after, he requested demanded Shanzha's homeland to send over her niece. Shanzha was overwhelmed when he gave her the exciting news.

Since Wukong taking a ward was huge, the entire court were there to recieve Yue. It was actually the first time RinRin and Shanzha crossed paths. It was butterflies at first "hi" for the queen who was regretting not being more involved with the harem.

Shanzha and Yue's reunion was so tearjerking that Wukong had to take a minute. Then, it was revealed that Yue was actually Macaque's family too. The six ears kinda made it obvious. Plot twist after plot twist, why didn't the author of the trash novel focus on THIS?!

Wukong never saw a baby monkey before so he's practically exploding because of Yue's cuteness. He was super duper doting.

Wukong also saw a way out of the entire "making an heir" business, so he names Yue his heir and hopes that this stops his spouses from trying to jump him.

It doesn't. Wukong's "Baba" energy just made him even more irresistable. Sorry Wukong.

The three have also joined forces. Oh no.

The Plot Twist:

One day, little Yue blinks up at Wukong and asks him if he can pretty please take her to see the nearby waterfall together. When he does, Yue takes advantage of the waterfall being a natural white noise machine to talk to him.

Yue: "You're a transmigrator too, aren't you?" Wukong: 😮"Whaaaaaaa-?!"

Yup, Yue's a transmigrator. She also read the trashy novel - all of it. So she has all the deets, which Wukong begs off of her by helping her reach high places and giving her treats.

Everyone: Aww, he's so good with her Wukong: Oh wise senior, please share your wisdom Yue: Tell the cooks to make the Dan Dan Noodles extra spicy hot and I'll think about it

Yue also helps her fellow homie out by being a deterrent for romantic advances. Can't talk or do anything beyond PG around the baby.

Wukong tells Yue about his plan to run away after setting everything and leaving the kingdom to her and she bluntly tells him that it was a dumb plan.

Yue: "At least wait until I'm not a baby to abdicate."

Yue also (gently) breaks it to Wukong that he's stuck here. The him in his original reality is most likely dead.

So, after a bit of spiraling, Wukong approaches his spouses and tells them the truth.

It was a bit shocking and they (Macaque and RinRin) needed some time to come to terms with the revelation, but this doesn't deter the three of them in the slightest. They're all in love with this Wukong and want to spend the rest of their lives with him.

(By the time Yue comes of age, Wukong does accept their advances enough to give her cute little brothers lol.)

[midnight-bay-if]

Hey! I didn't have time before, so I've only now read the newest chapter, and damn... it was my first time meeting Umbra in the story (as I didn't take the path allowing that in the previous content), and I loved that scene so much! I never expected the "book reveal" at the end. It's interesting how despite me not realizing it before, Umbra seems to be the exact kind of character I usually like to romance in games. To be honest, if Taj wasn't so amazing, I could have been tempted to go for Umbra. Though to be fair, I love all the ROs (I'm a "one canon playthrough" player, so I normally don't go for more than one "route" in IF, hence me actually having to commit to a choice).

Also, Rain and S teasing Taj about their "crush" was so unexpected and funny to me.

That aside, I have two pretty random questions. - First one is, how much would Alek approve of each of the ROs? Either his opinion on each or just a ranking, I'm fine with both. Assuming Alek is like a second father to the MC when it comes to their relationship, if it changes things. - Second is a bit longer… What do the ROs think of a very nice and sweet MC who is an ultimate people-pleaser (as per that one choice at the beginning, about a flaw the MC has)? Like for example, my MC was dead tired but still went to the diner just cause Rue asked. And then he agreed to the "date" with Hunter (what could go wrong?…) just because he clearly can't help himself from caving when someone asks him basically anything, even if he doesn't want to do it. Which is obviously bad when it reaches such levels.

Hi! I’m glad you enjoyed that scene with Umbra. I tried to make it a good scene regardless of whether it was the first time you met Umbra or the second. With my indecisive mind being the way it is, my mind will probably change about another ten times before the end, but I will just keep rolling with it, haha. If it’s any consolation, you could always buddy up with Umbra instead.

I had great fun writing the scene with the team from their POV. It makes me excited to get them all in one room and let chaos commence.

As for your questions… well…

To be honest, Alek isn’t going to approve of any of the ROs for a long time. Alek really wants MC to lead a normal, with a reasonable level of excitement, life. All of the ROs are dangerous and lead dangerous lives. Alek would much prefer they all kept their distance. However, when things start happening, and the danger levels rise, Alek’s opinion may shift. Some shift quicker than others.

Overall, Alek will probably approve of S the most. For obvious reasons. They are human, for a start. They are also smart, and they can rely on S to navigate any given situation, putting you in the most advantageous position.

Next would be Rain. On the surface level, they seem to be well put together, kind, generous… all good traits. Probably not as strong as Alek would like (Rain is somewhat deceptive in this way. They look and act weaker than they), but Alek feels they could trust Rain to protect you emotionally, at least.

Taj and Umbra are pretty close. Alek’s first impression of Taj was less than favourable, and that is a difficult image to wipe away. He also witnessed Taj’s harshness towards you in particular, so his hackles are well and truly up. Umbra’s is a little more personal, and I can’t really say more without spoilers, but obviously, both Alek and Umbra have been around since MC’s childhood, so that should provide some clue.

N is last, and this should come as a surprise to nobody, lol. N is going to have to grovel at Alek’s feet to ever get him to approve of the relationship.

As for the second question…

S: They think it’s a trait deserving of nurture. They want you to keep your kindness since it’s much more valuable than people give credit for, whilst also giving you permission to find your assertiveness. There are people who would take advantage of such a trait if exposed, and S has no qualms about backing you up when this happens. If you can’t stand up for yourself, they at least want you to trust them enough to do it for you.

Rain: You might find that you have more in common with Rain than you think. Rain has a hard time saying “no” to anything. Their fear of conflict in others leads them to go to extreme lengths to maintain the peace and keep people happy. Maybe together, you could agree to be the other one's advocate if you can’t find it in yourself to be your own.

Taj: At first, Taj doesn’t trust it. They have this image in their head of what humans should be like, what they are always like. S has already tested the bounds of their preconceptions, but since S is just one person, it was easy enough to rule them an outlier. Once Taj realises this is real and you have gained their trust, they become fiercely protective. They will still rib you repeatedly, coaxing you to stand up for yourself. But when push comes to shove, they will be the first to stand in front of you if someone goes too far.

N: N doesn’t understand it at first. They think it is a weakness to exploit. If you can’t say “no”, you certainly won’t say “no” to them. But later, when they see how it affects you, the strain it places on you, they feel something close to regret. Eventually, they come to the conclusion that, actually, you might just be the strongest person they have ever met.

Umbra: There isn’t a single version of MC Umbra doesn’t love (whether platonic or romantic). However, an MC who struggles to navigate their own agency will find Umbra hovering a little closer. Words are difficult, but they are pretty good at looking ominous or menacing when required.

[hotdaemondtargaryen]

TOM GLYNN-CARNEY INTERVIEWED FOR NERDIST MAGAZINE.

I'M TOLD YOU'RE ON HOLIDAY IN A REMOTE AREA, SO I HAVE TO ASK THE OBVIOUS QUESTION: ARE YOU CURRENTLY VACATIONING IN BRAVOS?

"[Laughs] No."

"No, I’m not."

INTERVIEWER: I’m in [actual location] — which Nerdist can confirm is beautiful — withheld so Aemond Targaryen doesn’t find out.

DO YOU KNOW EXACTLY WHERE LARYS IS TAKING AEGON? IS IT REALLY BRAAVOS?

"Can’t disclose that information at this point, I don’t think."

"But wherever it is, it’s somewhere."

"Sorry, I just made that up. I don’t know."

DOES AEGON HAVE ANY DOUBTS ABOUT LARYS OR DOES HE FULLY TRUST HIM AT THIS POINT?

"He’s the best of a bad bunch in the Red Keep."

"I think there is a certain amount of trust that he has towards Larys just because there’s common ground."

"They’re both physically impaired now, and Larys has lived his entire life in that state."

"So there’s some sort of connectivity going on there, but also it seems like he does have Aegon’s best interests at heart at this point."

"I don’t think Aegon wants to look too much into that at the moment."

"He will find cracks in the woodwork."

"So yeah, he’s a lifeline at the moment."

"And he shall be used accordingly."

AT THIS POINT HOW DOES AEGON FEEL ABOUT HIS MOTHER ALICENT?

"That’s a good question."

"I think he feels there’s this undying love that he has for Alicent."

"Aegon, he’s her first born son, and yet there’s never been this kind of understanding or eye-to-eye that they’ve had."

"He knows she’s flawed, and she knows he’s flawed, and I think they expect a lot from each other that neither of them are able to give."

"But at this point, he’s not thinking that rationally."

"He likes to point the finger and he needs to find somebody to blame."

"He blames Aemond, of course."

"But also for it to get to this point, Alicent has sort of steered the ship in a certain way."

"So yeah, there’s a lot going on there."

"It’s quite a complex relationship."

I KNOW AS AN ACTOR YOU HAVE TO FIND AEGON'S HUMANITY, BUT DOES THE KING HIMSELF RECOGNIZE, IN ANY WAY, HE'S A MONSTER?

"I think he’s dancing with the idea of being loved and feared at the same time."

"I know I’ve said that in interviews before, but I think it’s a good way of putting it."

"Those two things don’t really go together."

"He’s trying to work out a way for his approach to being the king and to ruling."

"He’s trying to strike a balance where he remains effective, but also people listen to him."

"At the moment he hasn’t been listened to, which is kind of why he’s had to force himself into this position of being proactive in a way that he was not ready to do."

"So, no, I don’t think he thinks he’s a monster because I don’t think he is a monster."

"I think he’s somebody who’s very tortured and traumatized by his own making really."

"But I also think it makes somebody more dangerous when they don’t realize potential."

"I don’t think he does quite just yet."

CONSIDERING I KNOW HOW IMPORTANT AEGON IS TO THE STORY, I WAS VERY FRUSTRATED BY HOW LITTLE THE SHOW FEATURED YOU IN SEASON ONE. DID YOU KNOW BACK THEN JUST HOW BIG YOUR ROLE WOULD BE IN SEASON TWO?

"I was warned it was an introduction."

"Just in terms of the time jump."

"We couldn’t really have the older versions of our characters, myself and Helaena and Aemond and the likes, because of the time jump we were making."

"I understood season one was always more of an introduction to our versions of these characters, and season two would really lift off."

"And season three and onwards would just get tastier and tastier as time went on."

"So no, I didn’t feel shortchanged or let down or anything."

"I was always updated with the plan."

THE SHOW IS CHARTING IT'S OWN COURSE AND MAKING SOME BIG CHANGES TO THE DANCE OF THE DRAGONS. HAVE (SHOWRUNNER) RYAN CONDAL AND THE WRITERS GIVEN YOU A HEADS UP ON WHAT AWAITS AEGON IN SEASONS THREE AND FOUR?

"Yeah, I’ve spoken to Ryan and writers Sara Hess and David Hancock a lot about their ideas, about the trajectory that they want Aegon to go on."

"They have been quite… there’s been details, but not too detailed because of giving things away and not locking things in the writing room."

"It’s exciting to listen to and it’s exciting to understand where their thoughts are and include me in that as well, which is great."

"It feels very collaborative that they want to know my thoughts and the rest of the actors on their own characters journeys really."

"It’s great."

I THINK THIS IS REALLY SAYING SOMETHING ON A SHOW THIS WELL ACTED: YOUR PERFORMANCE THIS YEAR WAS A REVELATION FOR MANY AND HAS RIGHTFULLY EARNED VERY HIGH PRAISE. WHAT'S IT BEEN LIKE PERSONALLY HEARING THAT KIND OF RESPONSE TO YOUR WORK?

"It’s very kind."

"Thank you."

"To be honest, I try and stay away from all of the conversations about it."

"It feels like my work, for now anyway, has been done."

"And I want to sort of put it to bed and move on and not really dwell on it."

"I think if I get too engaged with what people are saying, and the noises people are making, I’ll get too in my head."

"That’s not really the way I like to work."

"But I’m really glad to hear that people are responding well and they’re seeing lots of different colors to Aegon that they didn’t anticipate."

"That was my job from the first day on set, to bring this character to life in a multidimensional, varied, color palette kind of way."

"And he’s an absolute gift to play."

"I think you’d do well to do a bad job of a character like Aegon."

"He’s a gift that keeps on giving."

YOU HAD TO DO A LOT THIS YEAR AS AEGON. WHAT IS MORE CHALLENGING AS A PERFORMER: THE BIG PHYSICAL, LOUD, EMOTIONAL SCENES FROM EARLIER IN THE SEASON OR THE QUIETER ONES AFTER AEGON'S INJURIES?

"Both for different reasons."

"I dunno, that’s like comparing badminton with tennis, two very different sports."

"In terms of stamina, probably the louder, more kind of theatrical scenes."

"They require a lot of focus and a lot of energy and usually emotional depth and agility."

"But saying that, when I’m in the bed, covered in all the prosthetics and stuff, that’s tiring in its own way and difficult to remain focused on the task at hand."

"So yeah, both have their own challenges, but I revel in both arenas."

MY LAST QUESTION, AND I WOULD NOT FORGIVE MYSELF IF I DIDN'T ASK THIS, WHAT HAPPENED TO AEGON'S TERRIBLE LITTLE MUSTACHE FROM FIRE & BLOOD?

"[Laughs] Good question."

"You know what? I had this conversation with Amanda Knight, the wonderful hair and makeup designer on the show."

"We spoke about this at the start, about whether we could bring that to life, because I remember seeing pictures of him."

And she was like, 'You know what? You might not want to sustain that for the amount of time that we do this show. So maybe let’s go clean shaven and see where we get from there.'

"But that’s not to say that it might not come at some point, even though he has had his face burned, it might be half a mustache, but we’ll see."