#It's hard when I'm writing a story and i realize that someone could very easily tick off all sort of 'problematic' boxes with it

[storyweaverofgondor]

Me looking at how fictional characters on here are analyzed: Maybe i should simplify my original characters’ personalities? I don’t think anyone on here would understand them and i don’t want to invite bad faith interpretations. Maybe i should just play it safe and restrict myself to placing characters in the handful of well defined boxs everyone will put them in anyway?

Me in my confident moments: Actually, this sounds like a problem for them. I’m going to make complex characters. Let people have conniptions over trying to shove my babies into ill-fitting boxes. The people who matter will get it. There are lots people who will love my stories.

[vanilladove]

Hello, I am writing to you anonymously out of shame but you can call me Emy I was reading your blog and I was totally delighted with how you wrote and I wanted to make a request: could you write for Chuuya, Jouno, Dazai and Poe (you can add more if you like) with a reader like Mikan from danganronpa If you don't know her, her personality is a little (very) shy and she is surprised by the slightest show of affection (she is even surprised if you say good morning), often despising herself, asking others to forgive her existence and when people Annoyed with her, she tends to ask if she can take off her clothes or imitate a pig so that they can forgive her for all this because she suffered harassment in the past. I'm sorry if the request is very big 😭 but I would be grateful if you accept it (nothing happens if you don't either) I'm sorry if there are spelling errors but English is not my first language and I am using Google Translator. ♡

⋆˚࿔ ˚⋆ bsd men with a v shy + fragile reader

bow divider yeribbon

˚₊· ͟͟͞͞➳❥ pairing: various bsd men x gn!reader (dazai, atsushi, chuuya, akutagawa, jouno, poe)

˚₊· ͟͟͞͞➳❥ genre: comforting fluff!

˚₊· ͟͟͞͞➳❥ content warnings: none! also i'm not v familiar with daganronpa, so apologies for any inaccuracies! i'm just going off what wiki fandom says (。-∀-)

⊹ ࣪ ˖ dazai osamu

doesn't mind your personality, although at first he teases you mercilessly until he realizes it isn't just an act.

as someone that has also gone through trauma, he would gradually soften up to your personality and reassure you of your worth.

dazai is a very impatient man though, so expect his method of choice to be exposure therapy...like extreme exposure therapy...like bro might slap some sense into you like atsushi & akutagawa ( ó × ò)

when you start over-apologizing, he'll put a finger to your lips and stroke your face and hair to calm you down (ღˇᴗˇ)｡o

expect lots of subtle displays of affection like hand kisses, kissing away tears, and general affectionate flirting.

⊹ ࣪ ˖ atsushi nakajima

your demeanor confuses atsushi at first, to the point where he cries after the first time he meets you :,(

you're going to get a sentimental, heartfelt speech about how you deserve to live, and how you aren't a burden to anyone.

poor atsu cries over you--you guys probably have daily cry + cuddle sessions.

will do random things to cheer you up and give you many words of affirmation.

buys you a tiger plushie sprayed with his cologne to cuddle with when he isn't with you for comfort ♡

i'd like to think that through helping you, atsushi also helps address his own self-esteem issues ^w^

⊹ ࣪ ˖ akutagawa ryunosuke

hates you at first and sees you as a cowardly weakling.

it isn't until one day he randomly compliments or helps you and catches your shy/flustered expression that he begins to feel some sympathy.

will gradually visit you more until you stop flinching whenever he approaches you. he can tell you're intimidated by him because of his personality and notorious reputation.

it's definitely hard for akutagawa to be soft with you, since he's a rough person, but he tries his best to be gentle with you.

shows his care through actions more than words (sharing food with you, doing constant check-ins, guiding your back when walking with you, etc.)

promises threatens to kill those who have harmed and harassed you in the past.

becomes overprotective over you, getting mad when anyone--even jokingly--teases you.

⊹ ࣪ ˖ chuuya nakahara

tough love~!!!

expect a lot of "huh, what the hell are you talking about?" anytime you apologize for something small or suggest some self-sabotage

since you aren't used to affection and often try to reject gifts, thinking you aren't worth giving them to, chuuya will 'lovebomb' you with gifts until you get used to them as the norm and accept them willingly.

although he may seem short-tempered and easily irritated, he'll always make time to sit down with you and listen to your rants/past stories and engage in deep conversations.

holds your hands and reminds you of how strong and talented you are--will keep drilling it into your head until it sticks.

carries tissues in his suit for when you cry.

⊹ ࣪ ˖ edgar allen poe

this man may be your twin...honestly he's a bit of a mess himself, so he doesn't know how to help you.

i think poe would be relieved to find someone similar to him--also very shy and awkward/bad at socializing.

if you started apologizing when there was a pause in conversation, he would probably apologize back, and you two would go back and forth until karl bites him (꒪▿꒪)

since you both mainly only find confidence in your talents/skills, he would get to know your strengths as much as possible and encourage you to do your best!

will also share his book plots with you, taking you with him into the books and getting your feedback, never missing the chance to show you something beautiful he secretly wrote just for you

overall, poe would make you feel less alone and isolated, helping you gain confidence overtime!

⊹ ࣪ ˖ jouno saigiku

since you're already so fragile and frantic, jouno wouldn't find any pleasure in torturing or messing with you

ends up helping you under the pretense of "calming down your raging heartbeat and nerves that are too loud"; in reality, he notices how you're always on edge and just wants you to experience some peace and quiet.

jouno's sensitive to others' emotions, so i think if you were having a panic attack or extreme anxiety, he'd immediately hug + hold you until you calmed down again (ㅅ´ ˘ `)

like the rest, he'd offer you words of affirmation and hold your hand in public/around other people.

will stick around you to ward off anyone who tries to bully you or exploit your personality; blushes uncontrollably if you thank him for his simple acts ♡

[inbabylontheywept]

Hey, so for context it's 3:45 AM where I am, and I'm stark awake at this hour because I had to take a nap yesterday due to eating a meal I really shouldn't have that is still wreacking havoc on my intestines. I'm definitely going to regret sending this ask HARD once the sun comes up, but I've been doing a lot of unadvisable shit on the internet over the past 3 days so why not add this to the pile.

I'm kind of having a weird emotional thing right now over your last post because it's just too ridiculous to be true, and I'm realizing the majority of your blog is probably all creative writing not intended to be taken seriously, but I've believed everything you've claimed to be a true story up until this point? And now I'm faced with either being a gullible fool, or an asshole for saying this if it IS all true, and I have to ask or I'll never know? I shouldn't be letting this get to me but it is.

So please, I ask sincerely and with no intention of being a jackass, are your life stories actually all true, or are they supposed to come across as obviously exaggerated or wholly fictional? I'm sure I could piece it together if I lay in bed and thought about it for an hour or two, but I think I'll just take the L and ask outright because fuck it.

But THEN if it truly is just a creative writing blog, would you keep the bit going and claim it's all real when it's not? Like, do you see why I'm going crazy? I am a very gullible, easily lied to person and that has lead me to be on high alert, but I almost always jump at the wrong things and come across as a distrustful asshole, so?? Will you assume this ask itself is LARP because of all the specific details I tacked on, which are intended to garner a sense of sincerity? I'm realizing I may have been playing checkers with someone playing chess all this time and I'm wigging out man

So, I'll start with the small stuff first:

The camp was in Prescott, AZ, in the mountains, over labor day weekend which is in late fall. I don't know the actual temperatures as numbers, but the people at the camp spent more time being cold than hot. The camp organizers also did bring a ludicrous amount of the pink sauce. I don't think the campsite itself was ever intended to provide potable water, just utility water for the showers and dishes and other non-for-direct-consumption tasks. So in that area, the camp people overprepared because Arizonans don't fuck around with dehydration.

I'm also pretty sure they had some water available, they were just very careful with it. I think there were a few diabetic kids, and they were making sure they wouldn't have to subsist on the weird gatorade like everyone else. Maybe. I don't honestly know.

But that's one story, and the thing that you're really asking is, are all these stories fake? Is it all just creative writing? And the answer to that is a soft no.

As a writer, I'm pretty strongly influenced by Patrick McManus. A lot of my stories are told in the American Tall Tale style - which is exaggerated, and dramaticized, but tells a story that is true nonetheless. I am going to keep the specifics of the exaggeration and dramatization between myself and God, but I would look at my stories and say that they're each more than 80% true. I hope that relieves some of your stress.

I wouldn't call what I do creative writing exercises. But I also wouldn't encourage you to take them 100% seriously. Both because I talk a big game, and because they are, at the end of the day, just funny stories. I certainly wouldn't want you to lose any more sleep over them.

You aren't a jackass for expressing incredulity. It's part of my style, and I welcome it. I also wouldn't call you a gullible fool for believing things in the past. We're good, you and I, and I've enjoyed having you as a reader. I hope you keep reading. Just, maybe not at 3:45 AM. Take care of yourself, Babylon

[rodolfoparras]

and what better way to celebrate that with some writing /lh no beta as always we balling!!!

You've worked with the TF141 for quite some time and close enough to tell some past stories from childhood or funny awkward ones from college, that include the Captain itself. There's a gnawing feeling deep inside you albeit, Price reminded you of someone.

And your confirmation admits true when he showed you a picture where he played bass for fun before he enlisted and in college.

Blood turns cold, face drained of colours as you stared at the image for far too long— the brown messy hair tied to a hairbun, and he was just a tad skinnier back then, face clean of the facial hair unlike now. But that black with metal band t-shirt was what caught your eyes.

It was one of the nights that took a mighty toll on you, work and personal affairs and people, you were so mentally exhausted. Then, Price and some of his friends back in uni came to the bar to perform, and let's just say with the way he boldly plays the bass, the cheeky wink where he notices you're blushing especially at him, a slight gesture to the back after the music— and you both find yourself in the alleyway, fucking the night away.

Oh, you remember that night very well.

Sure, it was dirty beside the dumpster barely covering the action shined by the nearby streetlights, it was unsanitary— the way your cum keep leaking onto the floor as you go for rounds after rounds (the young age), it was *fucking loud* and the filth of the words spluttered by Price was unmistakable to what you're both up to.

*"God, ahh.. like that, dude, give it to me!" "Don't you dare fucking stop— nghs, fuck!" "Yeah, you like that? I have a pretty talented hand, I'll admit." "Y— you're pretty big aye? Fill me up good, I'm flattered you like my play that much you get your fucking dick this hard."*

How long was it? How much times even did you come that night? Incomprehensible, and uncountable to the times you've gone to other people, that's for sure.

You snapped out of thought when Price called out your name and title in a loud commanding voice, eyebrows furrowed and those wrinkles frowned as he scrutinizing you. "You have been staring at the picture for long there, mate. You good?"

A hesitant nod given to him as an answer, and the conversation after that went along.. just fine.

And the after that.

Your head keep replaying the intimate memory over and over again after you've come to the realization that you had the best one night stand with this very man who is the Captain to the elite special task force you're working with/to. And it's not easy to forget.

That was ages ago. He wouldn't remember it, old age plays partially into the part.

That still doesn't excuse why your heart aches to how...normal he's acting with you. This should be the best outcome, imagine how awkward it would be if he knows? *"Oh you've fucked our Captain before in his youth?"* Not only the future missions would be jeopardize indirectly by that unnecessary fact, it'll also ruin the bonds you have with the team. It's for the best.

.. Did you know Captain Price remembers it?

He can't let you know that yes, he knows you not only as teammates but also the one man he's been pinning over the decades after that one night? Imagine how ecstatic was he when it was announced by the higher ups when you would be joining/working along his team— sure he was skeptical at first, he doesn't trust anyone easily anymore. But once he saw your face, all that negative feelings disappeared into thin air. He remembers your handsome face anytime, and the way it have gone rougher by the years of military treatment, boy does it jog that little memory very well.

But no— he can't let you know. Even if by everyday he has to ride himself on the largest monster dildo he ever purchased while gagging his mouth with a pair of your boxer that he stole, or to resort to stalking you through the live security feeds, or to have recordings of your commands whenever he could.

The fact that you both remembers that night, unknowingly to each other, lingers in the air like the deadly lust.

(see how I looped it to the pervert price au CUZ IM OBSESSED falls to the floor)

-🪂

NONONON DOTN SORP PLEASE I NEED MORE PEAXH IM LOSIJF IT HEREHESUSCHRIST

[randomfandomblabdom]

I really need to vent about how much I like Cal and Merrin's dynamic in Jedi: Survivor cause they've quickly become probably my favorite canon pairing in the franchise.

I absolutely love that this relationship is built on the basis of friendship, respect, and a genuine mutual understanding of each other. From gameplay comments and conversations, Cal is very clearly so enamored with Merrin and literally everything about her. I know it's become a bit of a joke how clearly into her he is but he just thinks she's the most incredible being in the entire galaxy and it's honestly the sweetest thing. The writers could have very easily made his connection to Merrin a weakness or had it where it made his struggle with the darkness harder but I adore that they allowed him to be completely smitten with her and presented it as a strength. It's refreshing not only in Star Wars but in media in general, at least in my opinion. Love being presented as a positive asset is something so deeply missing in media nowadays - especially romantic love. Far too often in this day and age, love is presented as a weakness or something that will only bring you down, so I respect the fuck out of this writing.

Oops, this got really, really long so I'm putting the rest under a cut. It's kind of spitfire, so I apologize if it feels random.

I love how their first kiss is Merrin basically making a split-second decision where she realizes she doesn't want to die without kissing him at least once even if it runs the risk of making things awkward should they survive. Is it cliche as fuck? Absolutely, but it works so well in this instance. Cal being so dumbfounded, gawking at her like a fish, trying to process what the hell just happened that BD has to remind him they're literally about to die is the best thing too.

I appreciate that Cal is so obviously hesitant about giving into any sort of romantic feelings for Merrin because, of course, he would be due to his upbringing. He's pushing so hard against it to the point that he's even completely reluctant to so much as discuss it with Bode when they're on the Lucrehulk. Personally, I don't think Cal is oblivious to their potential feelings for each other. I've never been a huge fan of treating Cal as completely naive. He still might be a bit emotionally stunted, sure but he's lived 10 years outside of the Jedi Order at this point. I think he's hesitant to talk about it because first of all, it's really none of Bode's business but also, if he talks about it, he has to admit it, and if he admits it, that makes it real, and if it's real... well fuck, now he has to do something about it either way which is exactly what he's trying to avoid. I think he's trying to stay as neutral about it as he can until he gets to a point in the story/his arc where he decides he actually wants or feels ready to make a decision. Bode almost gets it out of him too before they're interrupted. The progression of Bode's questioning during that mission is something I actually find really interesting but that's a different topic.

Many people have pointed this out but Cal smiling so brightly while Merrin is clearly freaking the fuck out of Bode is just the cutest thing. Not only because he finds such humor in her scaring the shit out of people for fun when he of all people knows it's a running joke but he also goes along with the joke any chance he gets. He does this even when she's not around. People will be freaked out by her and he still plays along and it's not even like, "Yeah, I know, she's fucking scary bro," it's more like, "Yeah, I know, she can wake the dead, isn't it amazing how scary she is!" Someone else already pointed this out in another post but that feels almost more intimate than any kiss they share. His attraction to her encompasses all sides of her including those that many people find incredibly terrifying and I find that so endearing, he wouldn't ask her to change for anything. He's the only person who genuinely isn't freaked out by her in the slightest but not only that, he finds that side of her to be so incredible. Also, Cal being so blase with Bode about his obvious attraction to Merrin a mission prior and then having the most blatant sexual tension with her in front of Bode in the next scene is peak comedy, I don't care what anybody says. Like, Cal, honey, you just spent the entire previous mission trying to convince Bode (and yourself) there's nothing there and/or you're not pursuing it, so you're not doing yourself any favors by looking at her like that, standing that close to her, and speaking to her with the cadence of a lover bro.

I love that the second Cal walks onto the Mantis after killing Rayvis, she instantaneously picks up on the fact that something's wrong. Literally instantaneously. You can see her face drop the moment she sees him. She just knows something happened. Her ability to read him insanely well is something that is introduced very early on in the game, most noticeably in the campfire scene, and it stays consistent over the course of the story. The following conversation they have is honestly one of the best moments between them in the entire game. It's this type of conversation I've been wanting to see with a Jedi and their potential lover since Revenge of the Sith. He is so open with her even in a somewhat roundabout way about his genuine fear of losing himself and while the conversation is not explicitly about their relationship, the implication is still there and she 100% picks up on it, especially since he wonders aloud why Santari didn't see the change in Dagan before it was too late. Instead of shaming him for his reservations or calling it ridiculous or anything else she could have said at this moment, she instead decides to possibly help curb those fears and give him some comfort regarding it. She goes on to basically tell him in so few words she knows what she's signing up for and is willing to cross those bridges with him if they come. It's a great difference between Cal and Dagan. Though it's never outright stated that Dagan and Santari were in love, I feel like it's... pretty heavily implied, or at least he was definitely in love with her (was I the only one who read it that way??) but whereas Dagan demands that Santari talk him away from the darkness and seems to almost expect her to, Merrin herself plainly offers to do it with no prodding on Cal's part. It doesn't seem to be a burden Cal wanted to put on her, not something he was inherently expecting of her but she willingly offers, it is her choice, she wants to carry that burden with him. While she does seem maybe slightly annoyed by his hesitancy regarding their relationship to each other, she is also so incredibly patient with him while he's stewing over what he wants to do. It's beautiful. As a side note, "A shared dream is not so easy to wake from," is such an amazing line. Seriously, I want merch with that quote on it.

I liked that going through with the relationship was Cal's choice in the end. Merrin didn't push it, she didn't pressure it. She let him bring it up and come to her when he was ready and if that meant potentially being rejected by a man she very clearly adores, so be it, and I have no doubt she would've respected that choice if that's what he'd wanted. I know a lot of people seem to think he only makes this decision due to Bode's questions earlier but it really seems to be a combination of multiple things that lead to this. Bode picking his brain definitely got him thinking about it, maybe more than he wanted to, but I do think the other big part of Cal being willing to go forward with it at this moment is his confrontation with Dagan that, while an illusion, did cause him to come to grips with his own mortality in a way. "How does it feel knowing you're about to die. That your life meant nothing." As Cal says, Dagan uses an extremely powerful force hallucination based on fear here, so while losing himself to the darkness might scare him, his life being completely meaningless is what he seems to fear the most. Cal's journey throughout Survivor encompasses many things but one of them revolves around feeling aimless and finding a purpose, preferably outside of being a hired weapon that will surely and slowly consume him. It's what everyone consistently tells him: find a home, settle down, embrace happiness because it's fleeting, the path you're on is not healthy and will consume you otherwise...etc. His decision here to give in to his romantic attraction to Merrin is a culmination of all of these interactions and conversations he's had throughout the story, how they've influenced his line of thinking, and him coming to his own conclusions regarding what he personally wants and at this moment, when things are finally, calm and everyone is in a good place with a plan going forward, he personally decides there's no point in living up to the expectations of the Jedi when the Order doesn't exist anymore and wants to see where this could go.

I love the fact that when Merrin witnesses Cal's darkness in the ISB, it's made abundantly clear that she's just as afraid of losing him as he most likely is of losing her. I do think a major reason why she was able to talk him down at the moment is that he fundamentally understands what it feels like to lose everything and everyone, your entire livelihood. That is what they first bonded over and it's something that keeps them bonded in the saddest, yet most profound way and he would never want to add himself to the list of people she's lost. She's also doing exactly what she said she would. In an instance where again, she reads him like a fucking book, she can tell just from his responses on the intercom that he's losing himself and is guiding him back. She immediately went to rescue him as she says. No question, no argument, nothing, she simply does it. She made him a promise and she kept it and in that moment, he promises that she won't lose him, he won't allow it. This is a fundamental difference between Anakin and Padme's dynamic and Cal and Merrin's. While Anakin's love for Padme quite famously ends up extremely selfish in an "I would lose myself to ensure you're not ripped away from me" type of way, Cal and Merrin's dynamic is leaning towards a more selfless, "I won't allow myself to be lost because I can't let that happen for your sake," type of way and god damn it, I love it.

There are several interactions they have in gameplay that I'm lowkey peeved weren't included in cutscenes and one of them is when Cal returns to the Mantis after all but demolishing the ISB, they have this really short but great interaction where Merrin says that if he ever feels that way again, he needs to tell her. She doesn't even ask him to do it, she all but demands it, "If you feel that way again, you will tell me." She's demanding communication from him regarding the darkness and he doesn't fight this demand at all. He agrees to respect this request and I fucking love that from both of them. I will genuinely be kinda upset if we don't get a moment like that in the next game.

I like how their kiss after they've successfully navigated the abyss is kind of their first kiss inverted but instead of "omg we might die, I need to kiss you" it's more "holy shit, we survived, I need to kiss you," but instead of Merrin initiating, now it's Cal. I'm probably reading too much into that but whatever, it's cute.

This isn't about any one part in particular but I do love that it looks like the headcanon so many people had regarding Merrin most likely being quite physically affectionate is turning out to be true.

...I think that's enough for now lol I might add on some things later

Apologies for any typos and thanks for indulging my rambling if you got this far.

[journalsouppe]

The Touchstarved DEMO by @redspringstudio! I had so much fun replaying this DEMO over and over, I truly cannot wait for the full release. The art is gorgeous, the writing is excellent, and I am surprised at how much I really loved each character, I expected to at least hate one or two of them like with My Next Life lol. I highly recommend checking out the DEMO if you're a fan of otome games or gothic stories!

The DEMO can be found here on itch.io or here on steam! All the stickers are from different Hallween stickerbooks from Michael's Art Store ^^; (ngl I think this is one of my favorite spreads, I even did do some studies of the color/rendering fhdjsf)

Writing typed below! (plus extra notes)

Rating: 9.5 (demo score - great demo) Played: Sp 2024 Port: itch.io Play full? Y YES!!!!!!

Comments:

First Route: Origin - Unnamed. RO - Leander

love you have a choice of 3 origins

GORGEOUS ART!

this game made me realize I do really enjoy otome games and not as a joke or for irony lol fjdkfal

from initial appearances I like Vere and Mhin ^^;

all the gold on the angel doctor is so gorgeous

killer music

okay I thought I wouldn't like Leander but holy shit --

LMAO NOT HIS SEX ROOM

LETS go I got the special Leander option on the first try

I need to do studies of this art oml I need my art to look like this <3

DAMN, now I'm bummed I missed the kickstarter, I would LOVE the art book

I need the stickers too esp for when I journal the full version

not only do I like the art, the writing is very good too

Vere is so pretty...

I LOVE all the fun marketing lore and illustrations on the Red Spring Socials

ooo damn does Vere have a red option or did I do his route right without one

only three red choice dialogue. 4 recently for Kuras (no Vere)-- Vere has one now!!! Kuras and Vere should have them whenever the DEMO gets an update ^_^

I'm learning I'm good at making the correct decisions lol

I honestly didn't know you could die until after I finished Vere's route (2nd route I did correctly -- 1st was Leander) and was curious what submit surrender did (aka I didn't die initially but went back to see what would happen(

LMFAO NOT MHIN BLUSHING WHEN I TELL THEM OFF pfft

LMAOOO and now Mhin is scolding me

amused with who has slept with who

deathly curious on how fucked up Leander will be

Kuras's nose!!!!! <3

I love the concept designs of Sen and Elyon, I can't wait to meet them

LMFAO 'BASTARD'

ngl I love Ais's mullet

This should not have been one of my first otome games bc now my standards are so high, esp in regards to character design

I wonder if the flashing soulless in the title screen means we'll see more soulless in the full game (than just the one)

okay damn I also really like Ais, these are some really well written characters

LMAO I was not expecting this music for Kuras

oh interesting I didn't realize Mhin's red choice was during your first encounter if you're an alchemist

okay Kuras is very silly and goofy 10/10 guy

ooo good theories about Ocudeus and control on tumblr - "obedience" -- reference to someone thinking the "obedience suits you" line on Ais's character card was actually from Ocudeus not Ais

Summary:

I thought when playing more otome games it would be really hard to beat My Next Life, simply because I am a huge fan of the source material that preceded the game. But wow, with the way this game is setting up plotlines, the full version of this game could easily make it onto my top favorite games list. Otome games are all about replayability, and the way just the DEMO is so rich with content and alternating paths makes me so excited and hopeful for the full game's release. I am bummed I got onto the Touchstarved train late and missed the kickstarter, but hopefully a shop will open around release bc I'd kill for an art book. The art is just so gorgeous and I cannot wait to do some studies, especially with color and rendering. Before playing otome games, I like to look at the character profiles beforehand and predict who I'd like and dislike. And I am very delightfully surprised that any initial dislike I had of characters all but vanished because the writing and personalities of these characters were so well made. I thought I was going to hate Leander but he ended up being the character I'm most curious about. Although I would say my least favorite is Kuras simply bc I'm not a fan of romancing doctors, I am still curious about his background story and connection to the others. In other words, great character who is just not my type. I am also delightfully surprised at the "vulgarity" in this game without being overly explicit -- I have grown so tired of how sanitized a lot of games and shows have been that it's always really nice seeing indie companies play by their own rules. I am so glad I stumbled across this game!! At this point I've done every route favorably but haven't tried all the "wrong" options -- more to play whenever I think about how excited I am for the full game! I've also seen the sneak peaks of an upcoming update ^_^. Highly recommend the game!!

[spaceorphan18]

Opinion: With the exception of the youngest, the Bridgerton brothers are hard to tell apart in looks and actions. (Explanatory ramble: Until season 3, I wouldn't have been able to tell you who Colin was and still couldn't in some scenes. They (I forget their names & how many there are) often felt like the same non-serious man with no cares in the world, only drinking and "canoodling." Mind you, I only saw each season when it came out and only the once. *shrug* I don't hate the show, and realize that I should probably do a full rewatch.)

For the actual opinion

strongly agree | agree | neutral | disagree | strongly disagree

The casting of this show was kind of phenomenal in that they all do look like they're related. I think the youngest boy looks like them, too, he's just younger. The girls all look the same, too - Daphne and Francesca are incredibly similar.

****

Oh my dear Coffeegleek.

often felt like the same non-serious man with no cares in the world, only drinking and "canoodling."

No. I... no. I will not tolerate you slandering Colin Bridgerton that way. I will not!

I will preface this by saying - there's nothing wrong with watching the pretty people in regency clothes story and not care that deeply about it. Most people do and that's fine. And all the men on the show fulfill the romantic hero role since the show is, after all, an anthology romance collection.

But. You should know me by now, and here you are showing up in my in box with such blasphemy, I just have to defend Colin. The following diatribe should be expected...

(you do know I'm being facetious, right? right... okay!)

The whole point, the WHOLE POINT of Colin's character arc is that he's the opposite of what you describe. If you go back to seasons 1 and 2, Colin is someone who cares very deeply about people -- almost to a fault. He has some insecurity issues (undoubtedly because he's the third male child) and a hero complex (what is he if he can't /save/ someone? what is he if he can't help out in some way).

He's actually incredibly sweet and kind. And worldly. And empathetic. And sensitive. The opposite of his brothers and the opposite of what society expects from him.

And then got ridiculed for it.

And so he decided, while traveling the world (for much longer meta reasons then I should probably get into here) that he'd stop going against the grain and just be who everyone expects him to be. What you said above.

And it doesn't work.

Both Colin and Pen have these mirroring arcs (my god, don't let me get into the mirror iconography or I'll never shut up) where they can't cut off who they are to appease everyone around them. Colin's journal entry essentially says that he's not finding real intimacy. He's already known what actual intimacy is -- maybe not physically, but emotionally, he has. And he's both missing it and searching for it (because he doesn't know that the /it/ is his relationship with Pen.)

He imitates his brothers and his 'friends' because he feels like that's what he's supposed to do. But really, he's a softy who just wants to cuddle up with someone he loves and drown in her.

The thing that I really, really, really didn't expect from the pretty people in regency clothing show is that there's a lot of nuance to the story telling that can be easily missed. and I'm more impressed with it than I ever thought I should be.

Anyway... I could write more, but it's past midnight and I really should go to bed soon... the tl:dr version is that Colin has a really cool story arc in all three seasons and it's much more interesting than surface level would lead you to believe. <3

[figs-and-cigs]

Saw a post recently that said if you're not a good communicator you shouldn't be in a poly relationship. My first thought was, "right communication is an absolute MUST!" But thinking about it some more, I think there needs to be more nuance to the idea. What makes good communication? And who's to say who should and shouldn't do polyamory?

I'm an easily overwhelmed, agoraphobic, introvert - and at times communication IS hard. I often seek alone time with very little interaction with the outside world.

I had a girlfriend who HATED texting and wanted lots of in person face to face time. That relationship slowly unravelled and disappeared - without communication. I'm a texter and couldn't fit my schedule or find the spoons to spend more time with her - and she never texted.

I had to explain to a new person I'm dating that I'm not good at asking a lot of questions - which can look like a lack of interest and a failure in gathering information for a good match. The reality is I figure others will tell me what they want me to know over time as they get comfortable, and if it's important it'll come up. Meanwhile, I'm an open book. I communicate with lengthy paragraphs and stories to paint a picture of my world. Which often gets others to share similarly - through text, and more importantly get to know me on a deep level. In person I'm spastic mess, I get emotional about everything and excitement or frustration can jumble words into an incoherent rant.

When I'm upset, I cry... And trying to help someone see my point of view doesn't work well between frustrated sobs I can't control. With my husband we make an effort to take a pause with intense discussions and let me write/text it out. And while he can be a stoic type during emotional discussions - giving him time to process is important. But my anxious attachment will precieve it as if I'm doing all the communication and he's got nothing!

I also unintentionally go into circles and rants as I process which can be overwhelming to the other party. I've been in relationships where we'd talk and talk and talk and talk until we'd exhaust each other and that talking might turn into yelling or unhealthy silent treatments. Neither of us could understand each other or find common ground.

To prevent this with my husband we set timers. 5/5/10. We each get 5 minutes to share our thoughts, and then we'll have 10 minutes to collaborate on a solution - or to bond or support each other.

I have a FWB who I rarely hear from. Maybe every few months when he's in town and able to set a date to meet. He's not the talkative type unless we're alone in a room together - and I realized I'm ok with this. I don't need constant contact to enjoy my time with him.

I think a huge part of healthy relationships is meeting people where they're at and accepting each other exactly as we are. The good, the bad, the messy, and perfectly whole. And it's beautiful and wonderful! But it's also complicated and hard. Not every relationship is going to last. But the experiences together are valuable nonetheless.

When our communication styles and skills are different, what do we do!? Ironically, we communicate about it, and even a "bad communicator" can find work arounds. I think it comes down to boundaries and trying to understand each other. And if it doesn't work out between both of you - it doesn't mean we can't find someone else who it can't work with.

And while we can find total acceptance of each other one would hope each of us is working on personal progress and improvements in areas that we struggle.

Just like there's no one right perfect way to be poly, I don't think there's only one right perfect way to communicate. We each need to find what works best for us and our individual relationships. And it's going to vary and be different almost every single time.

The end.

[imjustdreamingig]

Run Away

Pairing: Steve Harrington x Fem!Reader

Summary: You were never a shy person, until it came to talking to the boy you liked.

A/N: Well, this is my first time writing something like this so... please be nice. I was kinda tired of only seeing shy!reader stuff so I decided to base this on my personality. So yeah, kind of based on a true story. What reader does in this story I've actually done in real life which is mortifying. Anyways!!! This is just edited by me so lmk how I can improve and if I should write a part 2??? Maybe?? Idk. Enjoy!

PS: Robin and Steve work together, nothing monstery has happened, they're all in the same grade. It's a bunch of dumb teenagers together battling high school.

Warnings: sfw, cursing, fluff? people being dumb?? idk what else tbh

You've never considered yourself to be a shy person. In fact, you were very much so extroverted, never finding qualms in chatting to your classmates or asking you're teacher questions in class that some may think are stupid. You didn't care.

Aside from being a little nervous back in elementary school, that trait had dissolved as you got older, and it definitely wasn't present at the moment during your senior year at Hawkins High.

However. As much as you liked to claim to be unbothered with public speaking and your ability to make friends easily, there was one thing that you couldn't just quite get over, no matter how hard you tried. And quite frankly, it was getting old and ridiculous.

"Fuck, Robin he's coming down the hall," you exclaimed, "move, move, move, move!"

You didn't bother checking if she was behind you, already knowing she would be as you practically ran to your second period class. It was the first day of the new semester anyways, you could use the excuse of wanting to get good seats to justify your cowardice to yourself later tonight.

"Jesus Christ," you heard Robin mutter as she finally caught up to you, "You know I have asthma, I cannot keep doing this every time you so much catch a glimpse of Steve."

You slowed down your pace, your heart not feeling as though it would burst out of your chest anymore. You still sported a slight flush on your face from the thought of the almost encounter you had with the jock.

"I know, I know, this is getting so stupid. I promise next time I'll talk to him, I swear," you said as you sighed forlornly.

Robin turned to you with an unimpressed stare. "That's what you said last time, and the time before that, and the time before that, and yet here we are," she waved her hands dramatically.

Here's your problem. An issue that is a complete juxtaposition of your usual personality. The moment you've ever realized you have a crush on someone, you would run away from them anytime you saw them. Literally. You would full on sprint away in the opposite direction.

You've never really understood why this happens, only knowing that the second you saw your current crush, you're usual non existent nerves would make a prevalent appearance. You'd freeze and your eyes would widen as your brain chose the flight response when confronted with a potential dangerous situation.

"Look dingus, I love you and I think you're awesome and all that, blah blah blah, but this has got to stop," Robin stated as you both took your seats in your English class. "You're embarrassing me just as much as you're embarrassing yourself and our social status cannot take that much more of a beating."

You knew she was joking but just grunted in response, having buried your face in the crook of your elbow, not even bothering to open up your notebook. You heard Robin sigh and could tell she was rolling her eyes at you.

"You know..." Robin started, "I could always just...talk to him for you? Give him you're number or something during our shift at-"

Your raised your head immediately, almost giving yourself whiplash. "Robs, no way. We've talked about this before! I just - this situation is already awkward as it is, that would just make it worse."

"Hey, I'm just trying to help, but if you wanna suffer some more that's totally your choice." Robin says as she shrugs her shoulders. "Besides, with all that running your doing, at least you're getting some cardio in."

You let out as surprised squawk. "Robin come on! Not funny!" She doesn't reply, merely continuing to laugh at you. All you did was just groan in response again, settling your head in your arms once more.

A few weeks ago, you had been walking to your locker whilst attempting to shove a bunch of textbooks into your bag at the same time. Obviously, everything fell and it just so happened that Steve was nearby and helped you out.

"Oh my God, you don't have to, it's totally fine," you'd stammered, just the tiniest bit embarrassed of dropping your books in the middle of the crowded hallway.

"Don't sweat it, it happens to the best of us." Steve chuckled as he handed you your notebook.

And then it happened. The event that you frequently replay over and over in your mind, the event that kickstarted the affections you had for the boy.

Once everything was stored safely in your bag, Steve stood up and wiped his hands on his jeans. He then turned his attention to you and simply offered you his hand to help you up.

You stared into his big, brown eyes, completely dumbfounded. Here he was, an average man doing the absolute bare minimum and yet you still found yourself practically falling at his feet, your heart feeling as thought it was going to beat out of your chest.

"I- uh, I mean, thanks for the hand Steve," you stammered as you tentatively took his hand and pulled yourself off the floor. You cringed when you felt that it was sort of shaking and kind of clammy, hoping Steve wouldn't notice. "Both literally and figuratively."

You wanted nothing more than the ground to swallow you up after you blurted out those words. To your surprise, Steve let out a laugh, a genuine laugh. His eyes sort of crinkled and you could see the slight indent of a dimple. As if the man needed to get any more attractive in your eyes.

"It's no problem at all," he reassured you. "I'll be seeing you." He gave a quick wave and then turned in the direction of the cafeteria. Your hands tightened on the straps of your backpack as you watched him walk away, admiring the view.

Oh ew, you suddenly thought to yourself, now that was just pathetic.

Ever since that moment, you couldn't give yourself that last push you needed to talk to him. Even after the multitude of pep talks you give yourself in the mirror, including the ones from Robin, you still always ran away whenever you saw him.

You'd be a fool to think he didn't notice it and prayed he didn't mistake it for you hating him or something.

The sound of the bell signaling the start of class pulled you from your misery, forcing you to pay attention to your teacher so you didn't face the consequences of falling behind so early in the term.

Amidst your groveling, you'd failed to notice a particular brunet enter the class and take a seat at a desk a few rows behind you. Who knows what your reaction would have been if you did. Robin just kept her mouth shut, simply winking in Steve's direction when she caught his eye.

"Alright class, settle down and listen up," your teacher began. "I know it's the first day of the semester, but I wanted to introduce an assignment before anything else to make sure you have enough time to complete it and do an excellent job."

The entire class let out a collective groan, yourself included. How could she already be giving out assignments when she hasn't even properly introduced herself?

You turned to Robin, brows furrowed in annoyance. "I think she's got her agenda mixed up, she's introducing things in the wrong order."

"Fuck this, I should've taken Eddie's warning more seriously. Now I understand why everyone hates her," Robin gripped, running a hand through her cropped hair, already looking a little stressed.

You nodded in agreement and added, "I think I get why people hate English so much too."

Robin laughed. "But you'll still love it anyways, won't you?" she chided. Before you had a chance to reply, your teacher began speaking again.

"Settle down, please! If you listen, you'd hear that this not due until the last month of the semester and you'll be working in partners," she stated, "so not only will you have plenty of time to work on it, but you'll also have some help." You and Robin glanced at each other, hopefully smiles tugging at both of your faces.

"Your partners will be assigned by me," the whole class collectively groaned again, "which is what I'll be doing as we get through attendance. I'll explain the criteria before moving on."

"Yep, I think I hate this class at least a little bit now," you complained to Robin, already making a mental checklist of what school stuff you should at least start on later in the afternoon.

"-ohn Gilmore, Phoebe Burton, partners. Steve Harrington, Y/N Y/L/N, partners. Billy Holden, Rob-"

You froze for a second, as if you were glitching. Steve was in... this class? There was no way, you would have absolutely noticed him. But as you snuck a glance behind you, sure enough there he was, sitting in his chair, mindlessly twirling a pencil through his fingers. To your surprise, he was actually looking back at you too and- wait hold up, was he smirking?

You immediately spun back around, hand lurching to grip onto the sides of your desk. You then blinked a couple of time, praying your face wasn't as red as you felt like it was.

"Nope, nope, absolutely not. No thank you," you said as you shook your head from side to side. "Miss, this is a joke right?" you inquired out loud.

You were eventually going to talk to Steve, you were sure of it. The day was coming where you could have some sort of a conversation with him without running away, you could feel it. The moment was almost here.

Today, however, was absolutely not that day.

Just when you were about to complain to you teacher out loud again, you feel a presence behind you.

"Oh come on, you're already dismissing me as a terrible English partner? I'm wounded, seriously." The voice was laced in amusement. You did not need to turn around to know who it belonged to.

Before you could even think of a response, Robin turns to you, clearly finding your horror to the situation hilarious, and says, "Well, I think you're going to hate this class a little bit too."

Well fuck.

[youreobsessedwithtoomanyfandoms]

You’re About To Lose The Best Damn Thing You’ve Ever Had

Words: 5,059

Warnings: language, feelings of insecurities/not feeling good enough, talk of alcohol/alcohol consumption, lowkey mention of mommy issues at the VERY end, maybe ooc characters and probably bad writing

Resident Evil Masterlist Main Masterlist Join My Taglist

This also was originally written for my OC Tiffany (Whose info on her/original story will eventually be available on this account @imnotobsessedwfictionalchracters )

Leon, Claire, and Chris are PROBABLY OOC (as I suck at not being able to keep them from being OOC)

Actually highkey proud of this cause it's one of the longest things I've written in a while

Reader and Leon are partners with their job (have been since 2004/2005) and is insinuated to be around the same height as Leon

I will also preface this by saying I've only had whiskey once or twice (most as I don't like it) so I'm not sure how it feels when it goes down so I just did what I always say for alcohol

I also am aware that Leon and Chris did not meet until 2010. But personally? I don't give a fuck as it makes no sense to me and I swear to God I thought that they knew each other for longer. So in my fics, if it takes place before 2010 and Chris and Leon are friends, means they met before then. Thank you

Loosely has themes from the songs The Great War by Taylor Swift, the 1 by Taylor Swift, and You're Gonna Lose The Best Thing In Your Life by Juliet Simms

Anywho, enjoy

Love Z <3

December 21st of 2008

Y/N laid on the ground, breathing heavily. Personally, she didn’t want to move, Leon really knocked the fucking life out of her. She heard his laugh before she felt his hand wrap around her wrist and lift her up to her feet. She groaned when she felt the floor under her and her body nearly colliding with his. She sighed and looked at his face, giving him a soft smile that he returned and started to lean in for a kiss. She glanced and saw that they were still the only ones in the training room, so she leaned in as well. And as soon as their lips connected, he tried to deepen it, which she let. But she had other plans and she used the fact that he was distracted by her to knock him to the ground. 

Their lips disconnected as he landed on his back with a hard ‘oof’. She smirked down at him, too proud of herself for doing that that she didn’t realize that he was leaning up to grab her wrist again until she was pulled down on top of him. Legs straddling his hips, a reason she was thankful that her body easily could do the splits. He pulled her face back into his, refusing to let her remove her lips from his or let her get the upper hand. Not that she wanted to do it this time. She just smiled into the kiss, mentally thanking the Universe for allowing the training room to be empty and thanking Leon for making sure they were in a corner furthest and most hidden from the door. A precaution he had started taking the past few months, just in case someone decided to come in and join them in training.

Of course, she didn’t care much if they were seen as it was just simple kissing. Or, it was until Leon’s hands came down from her waist to where one was gripping the back of her thigh and the other was gripping her ass. His lips on hers swallowed the moan that came from her mouth when he did that and she was ever so grateful for it. Usually she was better at keeping herself quiet in situations like this, but this time she just hadn’t been able to. So once again, she was grateful that Leon was ever so smarter than her in these aspects.

This continued for a few minutes, all that could be heard in the room was their kissing and heavy breathing. His top had been abandoned fairly quickly and her sports bra was about to be unzipped when they heard the sound of the door slamming shut. They both froze and stared over to where the door was. When she heard no other noises, her eyes carefully looked at Leon. She saw his face and realized that he was scanning the room for someone else to be in there. But she also saw the small look of fear on it as well. Something that somebody who didn’t know him like she did, someone who hadn’t learned who to read his small facial expressions that would usually go unnoticed.

She gently placed a finger under his chin and moved his head to be fully facing her. She gave him a soft smile before kissing his temple, something she had accidentally learned calmed him down after a mission before they even got together. She gently moved her hand from his chin to run her fingers through his hair. 

“You okay?” Her voice was soft, barely above a whisper, not loud enough to be heard by anyone except for Leon.

He nodded, taking the hand away from his hair and ran his thumb over the top of it. “Yeah, I don’t think anyone is in here.” His voice was the same level as hers, just above a whisper, but unless someone was really trying, they wouldn’t hear them.

“So did we imagine it or...”

He sighed, “I don’t know.” He gently moved her off of his hips and grabbed his shirt from where they tossed it. “But I think it was a good thing. I don’t want to get too carried away in here.”

She raised an eyebrow at him, “So in your car in the parking garage is okay but the training room isn’t?”

He shrugged and she noticed him repressing the small smile that started to form. “A little more secluded. Not as out in the open as in here is.”

She laughed as she zipped her bra up the rest of the way and stood. “Yeah, I guess you have me there Lee.” She sighed and moved to twist her back, trying to pop it. “So are we done for the day? Am I allowed to go home?”

“I didn’t force you to do this. You willingly agreed.”

She shrugged as she grabbed her jacket that had been tossed to the side almost as soon as they started over 2 hours ago. “Because, yesterday you promised me food if I agreed. Something I still haven’t gotten, mind you.”

He laughed, “Well I’m sorry sweetheart, would you like to go get some now?”

“Hmm, I dunno. You already lied once, how do I know you won’t lie again.”

He grabbed her waist and pulled her into him, leading her to let out a yelp. He leaned his head down to the crook of her neck. “When have I ever lied to you?”

She leaned back into his grasp, “A few weeks ago when you said that you weren’t injured and you had gotten shot. When you said that we wouldn’t have to deal with Ada again anytime soon but then had to 2 months later. When you said that I usually get the Holidays off.” She turned around in his grasp and wrapped her own arms around his neck, “I’ve been here since 2004 and never once have I had Christmas off. That’s 4 years Lee.”

“In my defense, usually I don’t see Ada so soon after a previous time. And up until I met you, I had Christmas off. So if it’s anyone's fault as to why we always have to go on missions during Christmas, it’s yours Y/N/N.”

She hummed, “Well, at least we still have it off this year.”

“That’s right now, we still have 3 days. Anything can change.”

She groaned and leaned back some, “Please Lee, don’t make me sad at that possibility. I really want to be able to celebrate this year. Claire agreed to come over if we have it off. She even said she convinced Chris to take it off!”

“Chris? Redfield? Took time off? I had no idea he even knew what it was.”

She laughed as she moved from his grasp and linked her arm in his and started walking towards the door. “Apparently, according to Claire, he does.”

He kissed the top of her head before unlinking their arms as he opened the door and she tried to ignore the small pang that hit her. She knew why he did it, but it didn’t mean she had to like it. Doesn’t mean she ever had to like the fact that everything about their relationship was basically this whole secret that they had to keep. Well, keep a secret to everyone they worked for. Even though she was sure Ingrid knew. She had to. She had to deal with the two of them on missions and had called them in when the other was in the bed (kitchen, on the couch, etc.) with them. She gave them suspicious looks all the time when they showed up together or extremely soon after the other. There was no way she didn’t know.

Her clothes from earlier were already tossed in the back of her car, she was pretty sure Leon had tossed his in hers too. So when they made it to hers, she turned to him, “So my place or yours?”

He shrugged, “I dunno, I’m sort of beat. Figured we could get the food and then head to our own places afterwards.”

“Oh.” The excitement that previously had coated her voice had dissipated when those words left his mouth. “Well, we can wait then. Get it tomorrow or another day. I don’t mind.” 

“Are you sure? You won’t wring my neck for it?”

She gave him a smile that she prayed hid the disappointment that was spreading through her body. “No. If you’re tired then I don’t want to keep you out longer than your body wants to. Work does that enough.”

He gave her a small smile that she could tell showed that he was grateful for it. “I’ll make it up to you. Promise.”

She nodded and leaned in to give him a soft kiss on the cheek, something she always did, but instead of letting her, he pulled away. So once again, she did everything in her power to not let the disappointment show. She cleared her voice as she clicked the button to unlock her car. Grabbing the door handle from behind her she gave him an awkward smile, “I’ll see you later. Let me know when you make it back to your apartment, okay? Snow is pretty bad out there and I don’t want you to not make it home safe.” She opened her door and started to get in, “Don’t want to lose my partner just yet.”

He smiled softly, “I’ll say the same to you.”

“I’ll see you in the morning, try not to drive yourself insane with the lake of me beforehand.”

He snorted as his hand came around to get ready to shut her door, “Whatever you say, dork.”

She opened her mouth to give him a sarcastic retort, but before she could do so, he was shutting her door. And as she watched him walk towards his own, she didn’t choose to ignore the disappointment and hurt that catapulted through her body. She shook her head and started the car. Maybe the thought that someone might have walked in scared him.

She wouldn’t blame Leon if that was it, but it would have been nice if he would tell her. If he would have told her and not made her feel bad for doing what she always does and making him uncomfortable. But as she pulled out of the parking structure she began to wonder when it had happened. Because right after it happened he seemed happy to go get food with her, but in the...maybe 5 minutes tops that it took to get their cars, his mind had changed. Had he seen something and hadn’t told her to not freak her out.

No. Leon wouldn’t do that. He would know that if he did that, it would freak her out more. He knows that, while she trusts him, she will always be cautious of their relationship. She always was. She always felt like the guys she was with could do better than her. And while she wasn’t insecure over Ada or Claire, there was still that...feeling that both gave her. That feeling that Leon has known them for 10 years now. They both knew him when he got dragged into this mess because of Racoon City. That feeling of being so unsure of things because he refuses to talk about things with him and Ada. It will never matter how many times he swears there's nothing with the two of them, she’s not dumb. She knows that there was once. She knows that Ada still has some control over him.

But that control doesn’t cause an insecurity in Y/N. No. It creates something different. Something that she can’t place. Maybe it was jealousy? Because with Ada or Claire, he doesn’t have the rules of their job to deal with. He doesn’t have to worry about their superiors finding out and giving them the choice to break up, get new partners, or, worse of all, leave. Y/N didn’t know what the job would be if Leon wasn’t her partner. 

So if she had to choose any of those, she’d take the break up. She’d rather not be with him than not be with him.

But the feeling that something was going on kept gnawing at her. Even as she entered her apartment. As she took a shower. And as she laid down to sleep. Something just kept nagging at her that there was something more going on that she didn’t know.

--------

December 24th/25th of 2008

Y/N sat with her back to Leon’s chest as they sat in front of Claire's old couch. But even them being so close. His arms around her waist, keeping her securely in front of him. Her head occasionally leaned back, hitting his shoulder, when she laughed. Occasionally she would feel his lips almost ghosting her neck, coming close to kissing it, but pulling away before he did anything.

They had arrived in separate cars. Something she knew had Claire and Chris giving them odd looks. They always arrived together. No matter what happened before. Even if one of them had errands to do before. They would do the errand together and arrive at the place with each other.

But not this time.

No. Leon had some “important shopping” to do that she couldn’t go with him so they arrived separately. She got there nearly an entire hour before him. And he was there for nearly half an hour before he had come up to her and done more than give her a small smile and wave like he had when he entered. That was how they ended up where they were now. 

But something still just felt off.

She still was unable to shake that feeling she got that night in the garage. She still had that feeling like Leon wasn’t telling her everything. That there was something he was lying to her about. She couldn’t even explain the reason for why she still had it. It still was just something she...just simply had. 

And she hated it.

She hated this feeling of...inferiority. It made her feel so small. Something that she always hated. That feeling of being smaller than everything else. That everything and one else was bigger and better. It hadn’t happened in years, not since she had just joined, but that didn’t help her. She had thought that she had gotten over her stupid feelings like this years ago after those moments.

But here she was years later still feeling this way and internally hating herself over it.

“Y/N? You alright? Looked like we were losing you for a moment.”

Her head snapped over to where she heard Chris’s voice and gave a sheepish look. “Sorry. Just thinking about something.” She felt Leon tighten his arms around her for a moment, his silent way of asking if it was anything important. “Nothing important though. Just silly stuff like how it’s crazy that Lee and I got today off. We usually have to work on Christmas and I hate it.”

She felt Leon chuckle, “Yeah, she was complaining about it a few days ago. That and questioning how the hell Claire got Chris to take time off.”

Chris rolled his eyes, “It’s not like I never take time off.”

“But you literally don’t, Chris. You have to be forced to take time off all the time.” Claire laughed, “Back when you were in Racoon City, Jill would complain to me all the time about how she had to put up with you never taking off. Questioned how I put up with it for so many years.”

He rolled his eyes, “You and Jill always are over the top with these things.”

“Chris, I’ve known you long enough now to know you don’t take time off. You’re worse than me.”

Y/N scoffed, “It’s not that you don’t take time off. They just don’t let you because there’s always some ‘possibly world-ending’ thing happening. I’m still surprised I was able to get the time off for Joe’s wedding 2 years ago and Tara’s in April.”

“I bet that since we got today off, you won’t get your sister's wedding off.”

She shot Leon an odd look. “You mean ‘we’?”

“Huh?”

“You just me. We both have off for my sister's wedding. Of course you lied and said it was a friend, but still, you got it off.”

“Oh, yeah, sorry. Guess I forgot for a moment there.”

Y/N nodded and looked back at the siblings, not saying a thing. How could he have forgotten about it? He never forgot those things. Hell, a week ago he had asked her if her sister had finally come up with what guests could wear (she hadn’t by the way).  She started to wonder if there were other things he would forget and those fears just got worse again.

She stayed silent the rest of the night, minus a few, small words of agreement or laughing when it was appropriate or she needed to. She knew that Claire was already suspicious by the way she kept looking at her, but Y/N chose to ignore it. And as it slowly crept towards midnight, she feigned yawns. She had slowly wanted to leave more and more as the night went on. So when it hit 12:05, she stood up, already having removed herself from Leon’s arms.

“I’m gonna go. I’m already starting to get half-asleep and I don’t want the snow and ice on the road to get any worse. I’ll see y’all later.” She leaned down to hug Claire and Chris, “Thanks for the presents you two. And thanks for inviting me, Claire.” 

They both shot her smiles while Claire spoke, “Of course, you’re always welcome to these things. Be safe, alright? Text when you get to your apartment.”

She smiled, “Will do, Claire.” She turned back to Leon and leaned down to kiss his cheek, “I’ll see you on Friday, well tomorrow, okay?”

He nodded, “Drive safe.”

She nodded and walked towards the door, grabbing her keys and jacket from where she left them. She tried to keep calm as she walked to her car. Leon never did that. Even when they were just friends. He always walked her to her car. Always claiming that ‘you never know what could happen.’ She slipped into her car, her feelings all around the place and jumbled up. She didn’t get why this was happening. Why it felt like it was he was trying to pull away from her every chance that he got.

Why was it starting to feel like she was the only one who cared about this relationship?

--------

December 31st of 2008/January 1st of 2009

Instead of Claire’s, the group of them were at Y/N's apartment. But this time her brother, Joe, and sister-in-law, Jessica, were joining them this time. While Leon had helped her get her apartment ready and make sure that they had enough drinks and snacks for everyone, he had hardly said a word to her all night. 

Like now, he was talking with Chris and her brother while she stood in the bathroom that connected to her bedroom, trying to catch her breath. She could hear everyone talking and laughing. She could hear him talking and laughing. Seeming happier with everyone except for her. And now everything with him had her freaked out and unable to focus for more than a few minutes. She knew that eventually someone would get concerned and try to come find her. And while she hoped it would be him, she knew that it wouldn’t be likely. He was out there talking, completely oblivious to her panicking in the bathroom.

She ran a hand over her face. It was ridiculous. She knew it was. She knew that the entirety of this situation was fucking ridiculous. She shouldn’t be getting so bent out of shape over Leon pulling away. It was normal. She always did it. But whenever she does it, it was when she was getting bored in the relationship. 

She ran a hand through her hair and tried not to let out a small scream. She didn’t know why she was acting like this. They hadn’t had a mission in months. She shouldn’t be this freaked out. She should be able to keep her emotions under control. She shouldn’t have to be hiding out in her bathroom, away from everyone, because she couldn’t control how she felt. She couldn’t make sure that her emotions were underwrap before everyone got here. God, she was so fucking pathetic. This whole issue with her was so--

She jumped out of her thoughts when she heard a crash right by her. Her eyes quickly scanned the room and she let out a shaky breath when she saw that it was just the cup that held her and Leon’s toothbrush and paste. She leaned down and grabbed the fallen contents and as she put them back, there was a light knock on the door that caused her to jump.

But then she froze when she heard Leon’s laugh. “Sorry, didn’t mean to scare ya.” She placed the cup back where it always was as he placed a gentle hand on her shoulder. Causing yet another jolt from her. “Hey, you okay?”

She nodded silently, trying to keep her breathing steady. “Yeah. Sorry. I think I’m just getting tired. My body isn’t used to not having to be on edge 24/7.”

She looked up in the mirror and saw that he had cracked a small smile, “Can’t disagree with you there. But you seem genuinely freaked, like after a mission. Are you sure that you’re okay?”

She nodded and turned to him, giving a smile. “Yeah. I am Lee. Promise.” She glanced down at the small watch that laid on her wrist. A watch that he had bought her for her birthday 2 years ago. “Hey, it’s 11:59, we should get back in there.”

“Are you sure? It seemed like you had left for a reason.”

Yeah. He was the reason. But she couldn’t tell him that. Not with everyone out there. Not with the possibility that anyone could walk in when trying to find them.

“Yeah. I’m perfectly fine. I just needed to get away for a moment. You know how I am.” She felt proud of that. She was sure that everyone in that living room of hers knew that about her. Knew that sometimes she had to disappear for a few minutes because everything would just feel so overwhelming.

She stared at him as he studied her face. She knew he was trying to find any indication that she was lying. And either he didn’t or he didn’t mention it to her because he said nothing and gave no indication of suspicion as their friends started counting down. 

Neither of them moved as they heard them going down from ten. They just stayed in her bathroom. It was the closest she had felt to him since Christmas. She moved her hand up to brush some hair out of his face and as their friends got down to one, she leaned in to place a kiss on his lips. She felt his usual chapped lips on her own as the noises of their friends celebrating and the fireworks going off encased her ears. 

As she pulled her lips away from his, she felt a wave of hurt go through her body. A wave that quickly dissipated when she felt his hands on her cheeks and his lips slamming back onto hers. She let out a tiny gasp, something he took as an invitation to slip his tongue into her mouth. She eventually wrapped her arms around his neck and felt him moving them to where the back of her legs met her sink. 

He pulled away for a moment, just to bring his lips down to her neck. “Is this...a new...top?” She hummed in response before she felt him chuckle, “Is that a yes baby?”

“Yeah.” Her voice was soft, just above a whisper.

“I like it. You should wear it more.” He carefully moved her arms so he could take it off. “Same with the perfume, it’s the one you got back when you dragged me to Victoria Secrets, right?” She gave him another hum as a response, unable to say anything as she was scared that she wouldn’t say an intelligent thing.

She sighed as she felt his lips on her body and all of the previous worries drifted away. But, of course it couldn’t last forever as eventually she heard a gasp and Leon pulled his lips away from her body. Her eyes darted over to see her sister-in-law standing there with a hand over her mouth.

“Shit, I’m so fucking sorry. I should’ve known what you two were doing when you didn’t respond. Fuck, I’m sorry. Um, Joe and I are heading out. I don’t wanna overwork my sister too much by watching the kids after she had a long week. But we had fun. I’ll see you later.”

She watched as Jessica left her room and her head fell on Leon’s shoulder. She felt so fucking embarrassed by that. She had been hidden for nearly 30 minutes and then someone came to find her, just to see her making out with her boyfriend. So fucking embarrassing. 

She felt Leon’s chest move as he laughed, “At least we were just making out and not actually having sex.”

She groaned and buried her head in his chest, “I did not just say that out loud, did I?”

She felt him kiss the top of her head, “It’s okay.” He pulled away and she watched as he grabbed her shirt from the floor before he handed it to her. She slipped it on and he kissed her lips again. “You know I love you, right?”

She smiled and looked into his blue eyes, “Yeah, ‘course I do.”

“Good.”

----

The clock that faced her blinked as the time read at her. Claire was asleep in her guest room while Chris was dead on the couch. Leon’s arms were wrapped tightly around her body that was only in one of the random shirts that he had left there. She couldn’t sleep. No matter how hard she tried, she couldn’t allow herself to fall asleep. Something felt off. Leon tonight. He felt off. She couldn’t understand why this was happening. Why he had been pulling away for days just to do this tonight.

She just couldn’t understand why this was happening.

--------

Y/N stood in front of Leon, shocked out of her mind. What was happening. She thought that they were okay. She thought that whatever he was dealing with the past few days was done. She thought that he had figured it out. She thought that what happened the other night resolved whatever internal issue he was battling.

But no. Here he was, standing in her living room breaking her heart. The one person who she never thought would do it. The person who she had thought was the one. 

But for some reason, she couldn’t find herself to cry. Some reason, she couldn’t let the tears fall. Maybe it was so he didn’t see how badly he was breaking her. Maybe it was so she didn’t feel it herself. She wasn’t sure.

“I’m sorry.” Sorry. After all of that he was...sorry. “You don’t deserve this.” He reached to grab her hand but she jerked it away. “You deserve better than this. Than me. Than our fucked up situation.”

“But Leon, I like it. I love you. I don’t care about the secrets and the lies. I just want you. Leon, please.”

“I can’t.”

“Can’t what?”

“Can’t ask you to possibly give up your job because someone found out! Watch as you have to get reassigned because Hunnigan already confirmed that it would be you. Watch as your life completely changes just so you can be with me!” He ran a hand through his hair, “That’s why we’re done, Y/N/N. Why we have to be. Both in this relationship and in our partnership for work. I already sent in the request for a new partner.”

“Leon.”

He walked to her door, saying nothing until he was nearly out, “I’m really sorry Y/N/N. Truly, deeply, sorry.” 

She stared as he walked out of the door. Out of her apartment. Out of their relationship. Her life.

She angrily wiped the tears that had started to finally fall away and walked to the liquor cabinet that mostly held his alcohol. She opened it and grabbed one of his bottles of whiskey. Angrily twisting off the top, she didn’t even grab a glass and just drank as much of it as she could. 

She stared at the wall and the grip on the bottle tightened as she felt the sting of it going down her throat. But instead of taking another sip, she swung it back and threw it at the wall in front of her. Screaming. She didn’t care if the cops got called. 

She was angry. Angry at Leon. At herself. At everyone and thing. It wasn’t fair that this was happening to her. Especially when she thought that everything was going to be fine. She didn’t understand that even though he called for a new partner they had to break up. They wouldn’t be breaking any fucking rules that way! She didn’t get why he asked for a new partner. None of it made sense.

She felt her knees collide with the floor as she sobbed. It wasn’t fair. They were supposed to stay together. He was the one thing that she felt that she got right in this world and here he was leaving her broken hearted.

She hated it and it wasn’t fair. It wasn’t fair that her mom was right. That no one here would like her and she would end up alone.

She hated it because why did she have to be right?

She hated it because why did she just have to lose the best thing that had ever happened in her life.

Why did she have to lose the one constant in her life for the past 5 years?

[amethystina]

Hi 🌸

🤲✅️🤭

🤲 Would you please share a snippet of a wip?

I feel like I've shared snippets from most of my WIPs already but here's one from the chapter I'm currently trying to edit, which is chapter 6 of A New Dawn (Begins With Us):

"Just drop it, kid."

A furrow appeared between Sa Wol's brows, his despair giving way to a scowl.

"Don't call me that."

Even if 5-8 knew it would be mean to insist, he could tell that he had to create more distance between them. Sa Wol wasn't likely to let go unless 5-8 pushed him away. Not to mention that 5-8 would much rather face Sa Wol's anger than that heartbreaking vulnerability.

"That's what you are," 5-8 replied, as if it should have been obvious.

Sa Wol clenched his hands, his jaw tight, but, to 5-8's surprise, he didn't reply. Then again, maybe Sa Wol had realized that protesting would only make him seem more childish.

Seconds ticked by and once 5-8 decided that Sa Wol wasn't going to respond, he moved to push past him.

5-8 couldn't say if Sa Wol had been waiting for that exact thing or if he'd simply decided he wasn't going to let 5-8 brush him off that easily. Either way, Sa Wol's hand shot out, his fingers curling around 5-8's collar. Reflexes took over, 5-8 falling back on instincts he wouldn't have been able to hold back even if he'd tried.

He dropped his mask and grabbed Sa Wol's wrist, giving it a twist — swift enough to make those grasping fingers slip — before his right hand closed around Sa Wol's throat, slamming him up against the wall.

What 5-8 wasn't prepared for was the sharp tug on his collar, noticing Sa Wol's other hand closing around it a split second too late to stop it. 5-8 was pulled forward, having just enough time to let go of Sa Wol's wrist in favor of trying to stop his momentum. The sound of his palm hitting the wall echoed through the house, but 5-8 barely heard it.

He was too focused on the fact that Sa Wol's face was suddenly less than a couple of centimeters away from his own.

Everything stilled.

The explosive burst of movement left an almost deafening silence behind, 5-8 staring down at Sa Wol, heart in his throat. He could feel a trickle of horrified guilt �� for having reacted with such violence toward someone he cared about and wanted to protect — but, at the same time, he could tell that Sa Wol wasn't at all frightened by what had just happened.

He was glaring up at 5-8, gaze hard, his fingers tightening around 5-8's collar — as if to make sure he wouldn't pull away again. The stubbornness and lack of surprise in his expression made 5-8 realize that, most likely, Sa Wol had grabbed 5-8 on purpose, knowing full well what would happen if he did.

They had ended up exactly where Sa Wol wanted them to.

✅ What’s something that appears in your fics over and over and over again, even if you don’t mean to?

... angst?

I mean, there are certain phrases and themes that I also keep reusing without meaning to, but the biggest is honestly angst. I'm a fluff writer at heart but I'm also really fond of writing long and complex stories with in-depth character development and an unfortunate side effect of that is angst. Because some growth only seems to happen through suffering. I am very displeased.

Oh! Wait! I thought of another one: neck kinks.

Why do so many of the characters in my recent fics have neck kinks? Like, at this point I have to wonder if I have a neck kink? But I don't think so? They just seem to occur naturally without me even trying.

It's honestly baffling.

🤭 Do you have a favorite tag to use when posting your works?

Honestly no. Is that a thing? x'D

I add the tags that are appropriate and, lately, ones I think are funny because I like to pretend I'm a comedian. I have ones I use more frequently because many of my fics contain similar themes, but not ones I prefer over others.

I think the closest I might come to a "favourite tag" is "Maybe he's born with it maybe it's gaslighting." But that, again, is because I like to think I'm funny and I felt really clever for coming up with it xD I've used it both for my Devil Judge fics and my Strangers From Hell Zombie AU.

Thank you so much for the ask! :D

Fanfic Writer Emoji Ask

[miraculouslbcnreactions]

Do you have an opinion on the fanon ships of Lukagami and Felila ? People expected them to become canon before S5 shut the possibility of both of them down, especially Lukagami which from what I read had the red oni/blue oni paralel with their characters and also apparently the Snake and Dragon are supposed to be perfect matches in the Chinese Zodiac.

Lukagami

Generally speaking, I'm really not a fan of pairing up the rejected love interests. It often feels like it's only done to give everyone a romance-based happy ending and not because the rejected love interests are actually a good match. So, if it's a story where Luka and Kagami get together off screen or otherwise feel like their relationship is a consolation prize, then I'm probably not going to like it. I don't think that every character needs to be paired up for a story to have a happy ending.

However, I have now written these two characters in a fic where I gave them the non-love-interest-based roles that I think they always should have had. As a result, when I was writing them, I wasn't worried about the consolation prize issue and I can now see the appeal. I really came to enjoy their interactions! I even low-key ship them to the point where they may end up together by the end of that story even though that wasn't my original plan. They have a very fun dynamic when you let Kagami's rigidity play off of Luka's more go-with-the-flow nature, which is a variant of that whole red oni/blue oni thing.

I can't comment on the Chinese Zodiac part since I know very little about it and I don't think that canon actually used Chinese beliefs to assign characters to their miraculouses. That being said, I would love to see a story from someone who understands it all! Using the zodiac to hint at/guide who ends up together could be a really fun way to explain this part of Chinese culture.

As far as canon goes, I briefly thought that we were going to get Lukagami during Frozer. I thought that Adrinette's obvious disinterest in their dates was going to lead to a "you snooze, you lose" crush flip, but I quickly realized that was not going to be the case. I also thought that we might get Lukagami after the whole wax museum date at the start of season five, but that quickly went nowhere. Outside of those two moments, I don't think that Lukagami has much backing in canon since the two don't interact outside of the episodes where Adrien and Marinette need chaperones for their dates.

Final verdict: I think this couple has high potential. It's easily my favorite canon-based pairing for both Luka and Kagami. But I'm not surprised that it didn't happen it canon as I never really expected it to.

Felila

I adore villain couples who are insane about each other and villain couples who are just using each other, but may end up falling in love along the way. (It's one of the rare enemies to lovers setups I that I actually enjoy!) In other words, I'm at least theoretically here for Felila. I think it could have been a lot of fun!

I also think it has zero backing in the actual show. Felix and Lila never met and there was never any indication that they would. Even if they did, it's hard to picture a scenario where they'd get together. Their canon goals are just way too different, plus I don't see how a relationship would be mutual beneficial. While I could see Lila wanting the prestige of dating Felix or the in she gets from his relationship to the Agrestes, there's very little that Felix could get from Lila. She's a social climber with no true connections and he'd realize that in a heartbeat since Felix is allowed to be smart.

The stories I've read where these two get together almost always age the characters up and/or massively change the plot. They also tend to make Felix want a hot model girlfriend while not caring if she's just using him for status, which has no backing in canon. I'd argue it's actually a pretty major change to his character, though not one that ruins him by any means.

In other words, you need to make some serious changes to the story or the character or both to make this couple work. I am happy to indulge those changes in fanfic, but I just can't picture anything remotely close to canon that makes Felila work. If you've got a fic that proves me wrong, feel free to send it my way! I love seeing the clever ways that authors massage canon to make their ships work.

Final verdict: I could see a fanon version working, but I never thought it'd be a thing in canon nor do I see a way to make it work in canon.

[natasha-in-space]

HIIIIIIIII DARLING

I'm sorry my hyperactive squirrel brain is excited to request because mystic messanger has been occupying my brain.

Anyways since your requests are open I was thinking

Zen X reader confession??? Like Zen confessing to reader,how he would do it and blablabla (also if it's possible without any spoilers for the story since I'm on the 10th day rn so y'now)

Anyways eat well and don't forget to drink (⁠づ⁠｡⁠◕⁠‿⁠‿⁠◕⁠｡⁠)⁠づ

Thank you, dear anon! I hope you stay hydrated and eat well just as much. I had a lot of fun writing out your request! So much so that I decided to go with Zen's POV as well as your own. I hope you enjoy it :)

Zen was a hopeless romantic.

Perhaps it was just a side effect of all the exciting romance plots he always enjoyed acting out throughout his career, or maybe it was a natural part of who he was as a person. If you would ask him this directly, he wouldn't really know how to answer. Maybe, it was a combination of both. He longed for a meaningful connection with someone from a very early age, even if it wasn't necessarily romantic at the time. Songs and musicals gradually opened up his eyes to such an enormous array of breathtaking stories, full of people caring and loving ond another in so many difficult ways, both romantic as well as platonic... Something he couldn't really experience in his own home life. It was only natural for him to eventually start fantasizing about something similar on his own.

But, even despite all that... He never expected to fall for you so fast and so hard. The butterflies in his stomach he would have to deal with whenever he opened up the messenger as soon as he woke up and wondered whether or not he will see you there... how nice it would be to talk to you first thing in the morning, and how much he wanted to ask you about your plans for the day. The ticklish warmth blooming in his chest so breathtakingly whenever you would ask him about his day in turn, such genuine excitement felt in your sweet voice as he would talk to you over the phone in between his rehearsals... In fact, he got in trouble with his manager a few times already for always sneaking off to talk to you. He had no regrets. The many daydreams he would mull over in his own head as he ran his usual evening laps around his neighborhood... Thinking of how wonderful it would be to share his evening routine with you by his side. Would you two bicker like an old married couple? Or, maybe you'll stick together like glue? He couldn't help but want to find out.

It was all pretty dizzying to deal with already, in the best way possible, of course. It's been so long since he experienced the exciting feeling of falling in love.

But, when you showed up at his apartment? All worried for him of all people? He came to the realization that he was too deep to swim back out. Not like he wanted to, anyways. No matter how depressed and discouraged he would become, deep down, he knew he didn't want to let you go. You were the warm ray of sunlight he longed for. You supported him, you respected him, you encouraged him, and...

God, he hoped you would love him.

He made an effort to keep his sentimental heart under control for now. He wanted to be a proper gentleman to you! He wanted to take things nice and slow with you. Not to mention the scandal weighing down on his career currently, making his future rather unstable at best. You deserved someone who could provide for you and care for you... You deserved someone with a stable future. It wouldn't feel right for Zen to confront you with his feelings when he couldn't give you anything in return. At least, that's how he viewed it.

That is until he had to rush in to save you from that damn hacker.

Zen was aware of the danger this world possessed. Hell, he went through so many dangerous situations in his not so long lifetime, he could easily write an entire book about it, if he put his mind to it. But, nothing could compare to the paralyzing fear he felt in his very soul at the prospect of you being in danger, and him being unable to do anything about it. It made him act out in a way he hadn't in a long time. He will probably apologize to Seven for outright screaming at him to provide him the address to Rika's apartment... after giving him a piece of his mind at the party, that is.

Knowing that you were safe and sound beside him was an overwhelming relief that words couldn't describe. It was so strong, that his legs nearly gave out from underneath him the moment you two got back to his apartment. Still, he did his best to appear strong. For you. So that you could rely on him.

But... there was something else, too.

After almost losing you like that, he realized that he couldn't wait until the right moment to confess his feelings for you. Now, he knew more than ever, just how precious you became to him in a short amount of time that you have spent with him. And, truth is, he didn't want to hold back on his feelings anymore. You told him that he deserved to be selfish sometimes... So, as the day slowly faded into night, he gathered all his courage and paddled over to the tiny kitchen, where you resided currently.

"...Y/N?"

You were caught off guard and gasped as you whirled around to look at him with wide eyes. Damn it. He probably should have warned you first. You were probably still so shaken after everything that happened back at the apartment... He chastised himself internally before raising his hands up in the air to comfort you.

Well, no time like the present.

⏝꒷۰꒷⏝꒷۰꒷⏝꒷۰꒷⏝⏝꒷۰꒷⏝꒷۰꒷⏝

"My bad, my bad! Didn't mean to startle you. You okay?" Zen watched you with a worried expression plastered all over his beautifully sculpted face. Seeing him there caused your head to fill up with various thoughts for some reason. So many things have happened in the span of just ten measly days. And yet, it felt like months have passed. Figuring out your own feelings amid all this chaos was practically impossible!

"I- Yes, sorry! I just got lost in my head for a moment there." You laughed it off awkwardly. It was peculiar. Zen was always gorgeous, such is his fate. You thought it was only natural for you to get just a little bit flustered in his presence, especially if it's just the two of you in an enclosed space. But, right now, he was rather disheveled. His long hair was tied up in a messy bun, a couple of locks falling over his face rather adorably, his clothes were wrinkled from all the running you two went through today, and his face looked stricken with worry. And yet, somehow, you felt even more drawn to him than ever. He almost sparkled in that cheap kitchen lighting, much to your embarrassment. You couldn't even write it off on the possible moonlight, because his apartment had no windows!

As you stood staring at him, Zen began speaking with a nervous expression. "Y/N, to tell you the truth, I... have decided something after everything that happened to us today."

"Oh?" Just hearing him mention the horrible events of today's morning made all the color drain from your face. What was he going to tell you? You honestly had no idea, but, for some reason, your anxious mind came up with all sorts of worrying options. You sure hoped he wouldn't make you go back to that apartment... You were honestly not above begging if it came down to it. The thought of returning there was too much to handle.

Your chest felt incredibly tight with worry as you waited for him to continue with bated breath. Zen took a deep breath and then raised his piercing gaze back at you, making your heart skip a beat. And it wasn't due to the anxiety this time around. "What I want to say... is my true feelings. I know I already made it obvious that I like you, but... I want to say it properly this time around. I love you."

"Uh-" A small squeak slipped passed your lips as your breath got stuck in your throat. Did you hear him wrong, maybe? Did he... Did he really... So, you tried to pull yourself together and clarify. No reason to freak out just yet! "I... Did I... Did I hear that right? You... love me?"

"Yes, you heard it all precisely right. I love you, Y/N. As a person. As a partner. I love you." He didn't even hesitate. He spoke with confidence, his words were clear and loud enough for you to hear everything.

You could feel yourself freezing up again, the heat rushing to your cheeks before you could do anything to stop it. This was so different from the way you expected this conversation to go! Here you were, worrying about him sending you back to Rika's apartment, but instead he... confessed his love to you!? Amidst all the ticklish feelings of infatuation, came the feeling of great relief, making your shoulders slump forward.

Zen continued, carefully watching your reaction as he spoke. "I know that this is an inconvenient time for something like this. I know that the prospect of being with me in a romantic sense may be very stressful for you. But, please let me say this to you anyway. Y/N... I love you. I think... I think I fell for you even before we met face-to-face."

Zen's tender gaze made your legs feel weak from the intensity of his gaze. The eagerness in his beautiful ruby eyes conveyed more than even a thousand words ever could. He loved you. That's what his eyes told you. There was no doubt about it.

"You have always been so... genuinely supportive of me. You told me that I... that I am inspiring to you, both inside and out. You never saw me as just my looks. You never once doubted me during this recent scandal. Even when I doubted myself. You believed in me when no one else did. You... You don't know just how much you saved me." He smiled at you, and yet, it almost looked like he was about to tear up. He looked at you as if you were the most valuable thing in the entire universe at this moment. And the implications of that made your heart race even more than it already did, if that was even possible. Before you could reply in any way, though, he continued. "...I love your smile. I love how you always look straight at me and accept me as I am, even when I was at my weakest. I love you, Y/N. Because you saw me as who I am. I never knew someone could become so special to me in such a short amount of time, but... it's you, Y/N. And I wouldn't have it any other way."

"Zen..." Seeing all the emotion flowing through his eyes, and hearing him pour out his heart to you like this truly made you feel lightheaded. You were happy, but it wasn't due to his appearance. Oh, you were so unbelievably happy. And on the brink of crying, too. You were so relieved that he did not plan on sending you away, but you were even more relieved that...

The fact that you were also in love with Zen brought you relief. No other reason could be possible.

This conclusion was so natural, it was as simple as adding up 2 + 2. This was more than anything you've felt with him before. This was more than the ticklish sensations of surprise or embarrassment... You were just so incredibly happy. Giddy, even. The only thing that was left for you to do was to express it.

You accomplished it. Without even thinking, you reached for him and took hold of his sleeve, stopping him before he was about to go on with his words. In hindsight, this was a bit awkward, but you didn't care. Zen's eyes widened a little as he looked at you, awaiting your next move. "Y/N?"

But, unfortunately, you were at a loss for words. While Zen had too much to say, you couldn't form a single word, even as your chest was practically vibrating from all the feelings of affection and happiness stacked within it. You and Zen just stared at one another for a moment or two, nothing but the buzzing sound of his freezer breaking through the silence. Even though you knew you loved him back, you couldn't find the right words to tell him. Was there even any need for the right words? You didn't know. It was confusing. Confusing and so damn exciting at the same time.

You decided to go for it. Blurting out anything that would come to your frazzled mind. "Z-Zen, I- Me too! I mean- Love. I love you, too. That's what I mean."

That was not awkward at all. You couldn't suppress a stupid laugh as you realized just how embarrassingly high-pitched your voice sounded. God, you were such a mess. Regardless, you continued on. In some weird way, you messing up so terribly at first made it easier to just be honest from then on.

"Sounds like a dream come true, my prince/ss". He murmured in return. And, before you could even think about it, he gently cupped your cheek, making your breath hitch. "...Can I kiss you?"

"Wait, no. That didn't come out right. What I'm trying to say is... I am so, so happy to hear you say all of these things... And I don't care about the timing, or your career, or the scandal, or anything at all. I mean- No, I do care, just- Agh, you get what I mean!" This time, Zen chuckled along with you, making your stomach fill up with butterflies at the sweet sound of it. With a happy smile, he nodded along and looked at you expectedly. This made you forget all about your reservations or nerves at once. You felt comfortable, relaxed. "What I'm trying to say here is... I want to be by your side. Supporting you. Loving you. And... And being loved by you. Does that sound okay?"

How could you refuse that?

[rose-riot-johnson]

Well, my Tumblr Peeps.... If you like One Piece and Ussop, I definitely have a definite treat for you😁👍 Recently, I have been having this idea in my head and I ended up having an idea about how to write about Ussop, himself. Anyways, my Tumblr Peeps... Enjoy🪴🌱🌻🌺

I Need Someone To Talk To ((Adult) Ussop x Any Gender Reader)

Genres: Nightmare Comfort, Hugging Mutual Confession(s), and Kissing (only on the forehead) (Warning⚠️: Only brief mentions of death without say the word death😅)

As the newest member of the Strawhats, you also became Ussop's love interest, in first sight. Well, despite of you being very unaware of it, you did develop a crush on him, as well. While he's more clueless about your feelings for him, than you are of his feelings for you, you really enjoyed his sense of humor, his stories, and his hobbies, as he also enjoyed your outer (beauty and/or handsomeness), your kindness for him, and your smile (obviously...).

The both you also enjoyed eachother's company and despite of this and the fact you and Ussop have alot in common, the both of you are also afraid to confess having feelings for eachother. You went to Franky for advice. Franky has made some cute suggestions for you to win Ussop's affection, even though Franky low-key already knows that both you and Ussop have mutual feelings for eachother. As for Ussop, he basically asked Tony Tony Chopper, if Ussop could have a private chat with Chopper, later on that night.

Speaking of later on that night, while you were in your room, you were getting yourself ready for bed, as you put on your favorite comfy pair of pajamas. You then, decided to lay in bed, as you drifted off into your own deep slumber. "I will be having sweet dreams, tonight...", you said to yourself, as you were going to sleep.

Inside your dream had Ussop and the location of his plants, which is on the Sunny (The Strawhats Pirate Ship). The dream was definitely great at first. Both you and Ussop were definitely gardening together, laughing together, and having a wonderful time. However, before you were able to confess to Ussop, there came Buggy and his crew.

The dream has been turning more and more into a nightmare, as Buggy and his crew managed to capture both you and Ussop, so easily, somehow. It's like the both of you were held hostage, as Buggy decided to destroy Ussop's garden that both you and Ussop worked, so hard on, then when Ussop tried to retaliate, Buggy somehow hit Ussop in his neck, as you fear you will lose him... You then woke up screaming, then began to realize you had a nightmare, however you're still traumatized from that nightmare you had, as tears rolled down your face.

Meanwhile, Ussop was having a private chat with Tony Tony Chopper, as Ussop was asking Chopper for some advice pertaining you. "Well, Ussop... I'm not an expert on love, however there's no need to try anything, except one thing..", Chopper mentioned. A confused, Ussop then asked, "What's this one thing I should do, Chopper?", as he's willing to do anything to win you over. Chopper then answered, "If you were paying attention to the signs, the only thing you need to do is confess to (Any Gender Reader Name), that you love (him/her/them), since ((s)he/they) is in love with you too, Ussop. So, to warn you, I also already know the both of you love eachother.", as he was smiling. "Oh. Really...", Ussop replied, then both Ussop and Chopper heard a scream from the other room (which was from your room).

"It must be, (Any Gender Reader Name)! I gonna check on (him/her/them) to see what happened.", Ussop said in concern. Tony Tony Chopper, then replied, "Okay, Ussop. I wish you good luck what happened to, (Any Gender Reader Name). Take good care of (him/her/them), Ussop.". "Gotcha, Chopper!", Ussop replied back before leaving his room to run their your room to check on you.

When Ussop, made it to your room to knock on the door, as he whispered, "Hey, (Any Gender Reader)... It's me... Ussop... I heard your scream and I wanted to see if you're okay and to see if I can help you with what might be going on... I promise I will do my best to try not to push you to tell me or anything...". As you recognize his voice, you opened the door and letted him in your room, as you said, "You may come in Ussop. I really need someone to talk to, anyways... Specifically you, Ussop...", while holding your head down. Before Ussop went in your room he replied to you, as he said, "Okay, (Any Gender Reader Name).", as he sensed that something's bothering you. After you letted Ussop in your room, you gently closed the door that leads to your room.

"Anyways (Any Gender Reader Name), I heard you scream earlier and you seemed to feel threatened, so if there's anything you need and/or anything you feel that's on your mind or heart or maybe both, I will always be there for you. Okay, (Any Gender Reader Name)?", Ussop said, as he gave you assurance. You nodded yes, then proceeded to give him a hug, as you started to sob on his right shoulder. Ussop, then out of instinct, hugged you back, as he said, "Everything is okay now, (Any Gender Reader Name). Whatever happened earlier, I will see what I can do to comfort you.".

You then hugged Ussop tightly and looked in his eyes, as his words felt very comforting for you, as you said, "Well, Ussop... It may sound silly or childish... It's just that... Earlier tonight... I had a scary dream...". Ussop was shocked to hear that you had a nightmare, however he still madesure to be there for you as he said, "Talk about it, as much as you like. No matter how silly or childish it sounds and/or will sound, I will listen to you.", as he started to pet you. You then said, "Well... The dream was good at first... You were in the dream...The both of us were gardening together...laughing together... It's like we were having a wonderful time, Ussop... Before I could tell you how I felt about you... This dream was turning into a nightmare...".

Ussop then encouraged you (without prying anything out of you), as he asked, "Would you like to talk more about it?", then he said, "And take as much time, as you need to, (Any Gender Reader).", as he continued petting you. You then replied, "Okay Ussop. Anyways... The dream actually started turning into a nightmare, when Buggy and his crew captured us and it felt like they're holding us hostage, as Buggy destroyed your garden that we worked, so hard on... The next thing I remember in the dream was when you tried to retaliate and make Buggy pay for what he did to your garden, because there was alot of principle behind it, and even if it wasn't, then still... Then he hit you in your neck, as you ended up passing away on me... I was so... Scared to lose you, then I woke up screaming, then I cried, because this dream, just traumatized me, so much that I don't know what would happen, if I lose you in anyway, especially with you passing away on me!", then you sobbed on the same right shoulder of Ussop's as you hugged him tighter, as he continued petting you and holding you. Ussop then said, "(Any Gender Reader Name). I understand how you feel.", then asked, "Would like to go outside for some air?", as he's offering you, to come outside with him. You then accepted the offer, as you went outside with him.

After the both of you went outside, the both of you were walking as you said, "Hey... Ussop... I'm sorry for hugging you, too tightly, if I did. I just really felt like aside from your your words and hugs... It's that I also felt better from hugging you, as well.", as you apologize to Ussop, as you felt like you hurt him, by accident, physically. He replied, "Its alright, (Any Gender Reader Name). Your tight hugs didn't hurt me at all. Infact, I have dealt with plenty of physically painful and uncomfortable hugs. So, your hugs are harmless. I do promise that.", then smiled at you afterwards. You then actually confessed to Ussop as you explained, "Anyways... I'm not sure, if you ever knew... I just figured I'd tell you this... I really loved, so much about you, Ussop and I really have been having feelings for you for some time... It may sound, too soon or crazy... I just really wanted to tell you this... I'm in love with you, Ussop and I have been longer than I remember to be honest.", then you started blushing. He replied to you, "I'm very happy to hear, (Any Gender Reader Name). I honestly feel the same way about you.". He blushed, as he just realized that the moment you confessed to him, Chopper was right about you about your feelings for him all along.

"Anyways, (Any Gender Reader Name). Would it be alright, if we visit my garden while we're outside?", Ussop asked, as he wanted to makesure you comfortable about first before going there. You then happily replied, "Ofcourse it would be fine, Ussop. I just know I will be safe here, right now, unlike that nightmare I told you about earlier.". Ussop then happily took you to his garden, as we wanted to makesure you're atleast alright with him taking you there first, before he does so.

After both you and Ussop made it to his garden, he then proceeds to hug you from behind leaning near one of your shoulders. As the both of you looked at the garden, as he said, "And you said and thought that it sounded too soon and crazy to tell me this, as you weren't sure, while you were wondering, if I ever knew you really loved, so much about me, and you really have been having feelings for me, then you confessed that you're in love with me and that you have been longer than you remember. Well, (Any Gender Reader Name)... Here's my confession for you... You see, eversince Luffy intoduced us to you and introduced you to us, I fell in love with you in first sight. I just always had my senses that there would be plenty to atleast really like about you. So, (Any Gender Reader Name)... I'm in love with you, too and I will makesure to nothing bad happens to you from now on and I will comfort, whenever you need someone to talk to and if something is bothering you. I will always be there for you, like you are always there for me and that's a promise, (Any Gender Reader Name).", then kisses you on your forehead. Eversince that night of mutual confessions for eachother, both you and Ussop have been together, eversince then.

The End

To be honest... My mind, emotions, gut, heart, and soul compromised for this fanfic. Until an idea popped in my head with working on a fanfic about Ussop, I wasn't expecting to work on a fanfic about him. While he's not 1 of my favorite One Piece characters, he's also 1 of the characters I never disliked nor hated, despite of his flaws. Aside from him being hilarious, I just have my reasons why I like Ussop and I'm sure there are other people who like him and would like to read about him. While I'm not gonna get over confident about this fanfic, however I just feel I made the right decision to work on a fanfic about him for sure. Anyways my Tumblr Peeps... I do hope reading this fanfic about Ussop, makes your day and/or night💭😴💤🌱🌺🪴🌻🌥️⛅🌤️☀️🌞🌙🌛🌝🎑

[siriuslysatorusimping]

WHO FALLS FIRST?? GOJO OR RINKO!!!! Thanks for all the hard work we have all been so blessed by the consistent updates and the detailed answers it’s such a privilege!!!!!

AHHHHHHHHHHH

First off, hi sweet Anon and thank you for your question!!

I've been spending literally all my free time writing and my friends have been asking where I've been 💀💀 But this story is just too much fun to write to resist!

Answer is below the cut as always 😊

Read Another Level on AO3 :)

SUCH A GOOD FUCKING QUESTION BECAUSE WHO THE FUCK DOES FALL FIRST?

Sweet Anon, you made me really think hard for this one.

Because honestly? Who does fall first?

My first instinct is to say Gojo, but this isn't as straightforward as it may seem.

UGH okay here we go I'm gonna rant and breakdown a bunch of shit you guys probably don't care about...

Who falls first?

I think Gojo has already tripped and face-planted by the time we get to New Memories, tbh. If we take a teeny look at this lil bit:

A small smile was on his lips as he approached her. “What are you doing here?” He shrugged, kneeling next to her. “I remembered you saying you used to spend your birthday with your mom.” He wiped the tears from her face. “So, I thought you could probably use a distraction. When you weren’t home, I figured you’d be here.”

And this bit:

His small smile while he listened to her, chin resting against his palm with his elbow on the table, brought her to reality and she took a deep breath. “Sorry,” she said, suddenly uncomfortable. “You’re probably tired of hearing about-” “I asked, didn’t I?” he reminded her, his face shifting when he noticed her withdrawing. “Rinko-chan-”

And this bit:

He stood slowly, pulling her from her seat with a small grin. “Satoru?” “Hmm?” he hummed as they walked out, his arm around her waist. His eyes were shining behind his sunglasses, a small, surprised smile on his lips. “What’s up, Rinko-chan?” “Thank you.” He pressed a kiss to her forehead and grinned at her. “Anytime.”

After dinner, how he has planned to take the bullet train with her back to Kyoto just so she doesn't have to ride alone, and then go back to Tokyo with zero expectations of anything. He had zero intention of staying over until she asked him to. And that, ladies and gentlemen, is how we know Gojo feels something for Rinko. Because you just don't do those kinds of things for someone you don't feel anything for.

And let's just talk about the sex they have before he leaves the next morning for a second. It's so fucking soft and you can just tell he's looking at her differently than he has during sex in the past.

BUT at the same time, this boy is fucking CLUELESS and he doesn't even realize what he feels. Because he's had so few friends in the past, he's kinda just assuming this is how it's supposed to be with friends because he's fucking stupid. lol

Rinko realizes pretty early on that she could fall in love with him very easily because of how he acts, so she essentially forces herself to pack everything away that could be interpreted romantically. By the time we reach canon (2017ish) she'll know she's likely in love with him, but she has accepted that they'll never be more than they already are.

SO short answer? MOST LIKELY Gojo lol

Who says it first though? GUESS WE'LL HAVE TO WAIT AND SEE 👀👀👀

[first-ex-wife]

anyway when I was 23, I was working in a high school as a custodian. it was not necessarily Fun and tbh one of the other custodians was a cunt we still hope explodes, so definitely I was probably lonely as per usual

when I was cleaning one of the classrooms I ran into a student who was still linger around the school. she asked me about my day and since this was night shift, I did try to do stuff before work so I was like "oh yeah I tried to do some writing". she seemed sweet and she wanted to hear more about my writing. again, I'm lonely and suddenly someone shows interest, even if she is maybe just 16

so I tell her some of the basic premise and she seems super interested and over the weeks I run into her a bit more and she keeps asking about it

we hit Christmas break and I know I'm not returning to this school as a custodian cause it'll be too hard with my return to my own education so I tell her when I run into her that the Friday before Christmas is my last day. she seems sad, and in fact, that Friday, she makes me a lovely card, handwritten and beautiful, and it includes her phone number so that we can keep talking and I can tell her more about my writing

I'm flattered and I really do love sharing about my stories so I come up with a little guide to my OCs that I'm so excited to send her. I text her, and she says she'll take a look at it but she is fairly busy, which I understand

I text her to check in. she's still busy. not very communicative

I stop texting

she never responds

and I just realize like... how fucking pathetic am I? 23 talking to a maybe 16 year old. trying to be her friend. because I think she cares about my writing. because she gave me the attention I desperately crave. she doesn't fucking care. I'm a loser. she probably sent her friends my desperate text messages to mock me

I'm 26 and entirely too old to still be feeling like this. but I am still lonely. I'm in the car with a new friend and her friend and I mention my writing and she seems intrigued so I say I could send her the guide to my OCs. I do, and when I get a message back, it's about something entirely different

she asks me about the fact I mentioned intrusive thoughts and I'm like "yeah, I have OCD. in fact, I was just projecting about that in my writing". I send her a snippet. she says it's really good and she'd love to read more. I tell her there's so much more where that came from if she wants to read more. we're messaging over instagram. she views my stories but still hasn't opened my message

I'm pathetic and easily won over by the first sign of interest in me. lies entirely to seem nice. people who act like they care just long enough to get you excited and break your heart over and over again

I wonder why I bother. maybe I should just shut up