#It's SO BAD and I am ANGRY and I wish this show to cease from my thoughts

[boosqoowoo]

haon - chill (ft. the quiett) (english lyrics translation)

[Chorus: HAON] Chill (Chill) Chill (Chill out) Chill (Chill out) Chill (Yeah) 너네 왜 화났어 bro chill (Uh) Why are you guys angry bro chill (Uh) 너네 또 화났어 bro chill (Shh) Why are you guys angry bro chill (Shh) 너네 왜 화났어 bro chill (Chill) Why are you guys angry bro chill (Chill) 너네 또 화났어 like (Like, like) Why are you guys angry like (Like, like)

[Verse 1: HAON] 하나도 바뀌는 게 Not one thing has changed I’m not done with preaching 너넨 자꾸 편도체를 켜놔 (켜놔) You guys keep turning on your amygdala* *Amygdala is a small part of your brain and is a major processing center for emotions 아무런 말이나 뱉는 너네 system 안에 일으켜 보일 거야 난 변화 (Wow) 뼈와 살을 separate 바보들에게는 원래 필요해 물리치료가 (Huh) Physical therapy is originally made for fools who separate their flesh from their bones (Huh) 얘넨 또 밤을 네, 뇌에 나빠 난 낮에 너무 바빠서 쉬어가 (Shee) They spent the night again, it's bad for your brain, I'm too busy during the day to rest (Shee) 컨디션은 CEO Jay Park처럼 난 나의 boss My condition is like CEO Jay Park, I am my own boss* *Jay Park, one of the OGs in Korean hip-hop, is known for owning many labels, one of which was H1GHR Music which is Haon's ex-label Get complicated sometime my emote 두발은 움직여 mic 앞으로 record (Record) My two feet moving in front of the mic to record (Record) 걔넨 머리 쥐어뜯겠지만 give me 20 minutes 나와 신곡 머릿결의 비결 (Shee) They are tearing each other's hair out, but give me 20 minutes and I will show you the secret to good hair texture in my new song I don’t even need a air conditioner or some 내 머리엔 없어 fever There is no fever in my head These days rookies need a cold shower Stop spending your time on porn sites (Stop) 안 본 사람이 없다고 I know what you talkin' bout 'There's no one who hasn't seen it', I know what you talking about 그럼 생각해봐 그게 자랑스러운가 (Right) Well then think about it, is that something to be proud of? 너의 삶에 대한 불만 음악으로 들어 볼만하지 않아 it’s too fine (Too fine) Complaints about your life are not worth listening to as music, it's too fine 그걸 드러내는 순간 넌 투사가 아니게 되지 내 눈엔 불쌍 The moment you reveal that, you cease to be a fighter and are pitiful in my eyes I feel the way pity, pity 기도했어 난 did it, did it I feel the way pity, pity, I prayed already I did it, did it God, I love word 끼리끼리 I love my bros they feel it with me *끼리끼리 is a word to describe cliques/groups like 'birds of the same feather flock together' 내 이름이 돌아다녀 Billi Billi에 My name goes around on Billi Billi* *Billi Billi is a video-sharing website And I’m 'bout to get this money billion silly 내가 잘되는 게 네 불행이라면 너는 lucky charm 이 needy needy If it's your misfortune that I'm doing well, then you're a lucky charm, you needy needy 마련해 놔 미리 fivе years 아무 생각 없이 낭비했을 리가 Prepare it in advance, there’s no way I wasted five years without thinking* *Haon hadn't released an album in 5 years I don’t need a minute (Chill) Predicting, calculating 전부 다 머리 cold 할 때나 말이 되는 소리 (Chill) Predicting, calculating. It all makes sense when your head is cold (Chill) Thought I was changе or some inner peace in me boy 뒤로 더 물러서길 I wish you would back off 너의 화에 너가 다쳐 입 닥치길 화 안 났다니 그건 뭔 개소리 You got hurt by your anger so shut up. What kind of bullshit are you on saying that 'I'm not angry'? [Chorus: HAON] Chill (Chill) Chill (Chill out) Chill (Chill) Chill (Chill) 너네 왜 화났어 bro chill (Come on, come on) 너네 또 화났어 bro chill (Yeah) 너네 왜 화났어 bro chill (Chill out) 너네 또 화났어 bro chill

[Verse 2: The Quiett] Why you mad at me, I just live my life You don't know what I've been through Your fuckin' head I see through it It's yo fault, you fucked your life 너 빼고 모두가 봤지 Everyone saw it except you It was fun to watch 기다리고 있어 next episode It was fun to watch, I am waiting for the next episode 그러니까 keep doin' yo motherfuckin’ thang yo (Thang yo) That's why keep doin' yo motherfuckin’ thang yo (Thang yo) 내 앞날은 니거랑 차원이 달러 My future and yours are on dollar level In this motherfuckin' game I'm the best baller No matter what it is 난 너무 잘 넣어 yeah (Yeah, yeah) No matter what it is, I'm too good, yeah (Yeah, yeah) Too many blind motherfuckers in this bitch 그러니 쉴 틈 없이 I get that shit 난 안 들려 너희 languages So without a break, I get that shit, I can’t hear your languages 'Cause I never talk like that (Like that) Never walk like that (Like that) I never rap like that 골 빈 새끼들 읽어라 책 You empty-headed bastards, go and read a book King is comin' back boy you get ready for that Glory I rock steady for that 대체 몇 번째 back to back How many times back to back I don't fuckin' remember that, uh [Verse 3: HAON] Like how the fuck do I remember that? All this money that we manifested 머릴 차갑게 하는 게 main event Cooling your head* is the main event *Chill (verb) I meditated not an ice bucket 별이 다섯 개 my life 너넨 매말랐고 난 매일마다 seated on a chair Five stars my life, you guys are dry and I sit on a chair every day 난 펜을 잡던 덤벨을 잡던 결과를 내고선 really don’t care I hold a pen or a dumbbell, either one I get paid so I really don’t care Two-four-six (Two-four-six) 신이 나를 만들어낸 방식으로 일하고 eating good 포식 Working and eating good the way God created me I ain’t see any one of y’all lame ass on my table 기분은 cozy (Cozy) I feel cozy (Cozy) The Q 말씀 들었다면 펴라 책 right now 또 버려줘 고집 (고집) If you heard The Q, open the book right now, throw it away again, stubborn (stubborn) I throw that ball into a goal they trippin’

[Chorus: HAON] Chill (Chill) Chill (Chill out) Chill (Chill) Chill (Chill) 너네 왜 화났어 bro chill (Come on, come on) 너네 또 화났어 bro chill (Yeah) 너네 왜 화났어 bro chill (Chill out) 너네 또 화났어 bro chill

[cometchasinglove]

Let me start with an apology for misremembering your diagnosis /gen

Though, on the point of not oweing her anything, I feel you're mostly right, but do you not owe your promises? You told her they would be private, and you just... lied again.

And again, being as angry and upset as she is in response to trauma is completely rational. Whether you intended or not, she literally has ptsd about this. This trauma is months in the making, but the separation is fresh. Freckly has always been so open on her blog, just airing out her thoughts. Not everything is going to be pretty or kind. If you genuinly think what she said is an active threat and not angry venting... I don't know how to explain that situation to you in words

And she doesn't think she *owns* the characters, but you can feel loss for them. When you use these characters to cope and suddenly you cant? Thats a loss, that is a true and genuine emotional loss. Youre right, they don't belong to one person alone, but that does not mean a person cannot feel loss over them, or that someone "took them." Like, my final year of college felt stolen from me because I gave all my time to someone who was emotionally abusing me, and I can't ever get that back, and it hurts. I didn't *literally* lose my senior year, but I still feel the pain of that emotional loss to this day, and he stole that from me. You can lose an idea, a character, something that is not yours but exists and can be lost. She never wanted to keep him to herself, she just wants to not feel pain when she sees him.

Do you tell other people their childish and immature for being reliant on their coping mechanisms? Even in your partner's post you can see the importance of a characters love for you, the importance of knowing a character cares about you. How can you show that and then turn around and call her immature for leaning on them?

She is getting help. She is working on coping. She actually puts the effort in to re-expose to triggers and seek help. But I do find it hypocritical that you're telling her to seek help when you refuse all the aid given to you by your family, and the love and care they try to give to you and you just, push it away. You want so bad to be a victim, you make it so that you are one so you can feed on the attention. Why else do you keep deactivating, and coming back? Its a pattern Ive seen in my own abuser, a song and dance I know so well.

Take you're own advice. Get help. Take the help you are being given.

I apologize. From now on, I will work harder to keep my commissions to where she can’t see them.

Anon, she expressed a desire to kill me. That in itself is very bad. I agree. She can vent, but wishing for someone’s death when I wished for her betterment is not right.

I hope that she does feel better when she sees her favorite character, but that still isn’t my fault. It’s how she reacted to him when the situation never even concerned f/os to begin with. Maybe she can take a break from them a bit. Let go. Hopefully, her feelings will return.

Immature? No, anon. The way she is reacting and posting constantly about the situation is immature. The demonization, the death threats, etc.

Anon, you do not know me. I do accept the love and support from my friends and family. It is difficult, but I am on the road to recovery just as she is.

I try to be the victim? Anon, I owned up to my mistakes and apologized for them.

I have ceased deactivating my accounts. It’s a bad habit that I broke free from regarding my own self-doubts.

Thank you for the best wishes. I will get help.

[aeoki]

Candy House - Programme to Fall in Love: Chapter 10

Characters: Sora, Natsume & Tsumugi Season: Winter

ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ< Almost an hour later. “Candy House” Central Hub. >

Sora: Let’s put this world to an end.

When Sora chants the “destruction spell”, this virtual space will cease to exist.

And it will be reset to a harmless state. That’s the plan, right?

Mophead: Yes. That’s what Euryale-chan said.

Natsume: Senpai, you look pretty revolting, like a magical girl’s mascot partner or somethiNG.

Sora: HaHa~♪ We’ll save humanity with the power of magic!

Mophead: We’re going to save humanity by destroying the world, right? I can’t tell if that’s a good or bad deed.

Sora: We’re not going to destroy it per se – we’re going to reconstruct it for the better?

Natsume: Is that a reference to “Puella Magi Madoka MagiCA”?

Sora: …Master~ I’m sorry.

Natsume: Hm? Why are you apologising all of a sudden, SoRA?

You’re about to save all of humaniTY – it’s a deed worth praisiNG.

Sora: But according to Ecchan, if “Candy House” were to be reconstructed, then “SSVRS” and “Candy House’s” performance would plummet.

It’ll just be something like a new, high-performing video game console that functions under common sense?

Master~ you said you’d make good use of “SSVRS” to control everything, so wouldn’t reconstructing it go against your plans~...?

Natsume: It doesn’t bother mE. If I let go of this miraculous “Candy House”, where a lot of people gather, then who knows when I’ll get another chance like this?

Sora: Yes… A lot of people go back and forth between reality and virtual reality, so “Gor-Corp” must have their hands full watching them – they shouldn’t know what we’re up to. That’s what you said, right?

Natsume: YeAH. That’s why I chose to execute our plan todAY. There’s no time like the preseNT – troublesome matters like these should be finished quickly instead of putting them off for another dAY.

Or do you think I’m an incompetent magician who can only use one spell, SoRA?

Who do you think I aM? I’m your mastER. Even if I don’t have “SSVRS”, I know plenty of other convenient magic spelLS.

So don’t worry and do what you want to dO.

No. Show the world your magIC.

Sora: Okay, Master~... But before that…

HaHa~♪ HiHi~♪ HuHu~♪ HeHe~♪

HoHo~♪ HaHiHuHeHo~…♪

Natsume: ? Why did you move like thAT? It was cute but confusiNG?

Mophead: Ahaha. Sora-kun does some pretty strange movements sometimes.

Sora: Sorry! Sora can’t explain it very well, so please forget it for now!

But you should understand what it means later~

Mophead & Natsume: …………?

Sora: HaHa~♪ Sora did something unnecessary!

But “Gor-Corp” can ruin our plan at any moment, so let’s hurry and do what we need to do!

Sora will chant the “destruction spell”! Sora will chant it energetically – just like how Sora is always full of energy!

Sora doesn’t know if he can do it well, so Master~, Senpai, please correct Sora if he does something wrong, okay?

Natsume: I’m sure you’ll be fiNE. But if that’s what you want, then I’ll do just thAT ♪

Mophead: Yes. But, Sora-kun, are you sure you don’t need to talk to Euryale-chan?

Well, I guess you’ll be able to chat with Eurale-chan as many times as you like in reality afterwards, though. Things like this have a tendency to be put off if you miss your chance.

Sora: …Yes. Sora thinks Sora will get angry at Ecchan if we meet.

Mophead: Angry? How come?

Sora: There’s something Ecchan is keeping secret from us. But Ecchan is probably not telling us the secret because Ecchan is kind…

Even so, if Sora sees Ecchan, Sora will get angry and say Ecchan’s a mean person, so Sora doesn’t want to see Ecchan right now.

Sora will go and see Ecchan once Sora can say hello with a smile on his face.

Mophead: ……? I don’t really understand, but well, please do as you wish, Sora-kun.

Natsume: YeAH. Everything you do is “correct”, SoRA ♪

Sora: Really? That’d be nice if that’s true~

No. Master~ and Senpai believe in Sora, so in order to not make them liars, Sora will make sure the things he does are “correct” – no matter what.

Alright, Sora will chant the “destruction spell” once more.

Fáɍɇwɇłł, “Ȼánđɏ Ħøᵾsɇ”.

Wɇ’vɇ ħáđ ɇnøᵾǥħ øf ɏøᵾɍ đɇłɨȼɨøᵾs swɇɇŧs ♪

ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ← Previous Chapter ᠂ ⚘ ˚⊹˚ ⚘ ᠂  Next Chapter →

[rkived]

━ CHASING PAVEMENTS 04 │ JJK

↳ PAIRING: dad!jk/married!jk/bff!jk x reader 

↳ GENRE/TAGS: f2l, angst, unrequited feelings, cheating, future smut

↳ WARNINGS: (for this chapter) angst as per usual what’s new, jk is sad, reader is sad, sunhi is sad, everyone’s just SAD

↳ RATING: (for this chapter) PG

↳ WORD COUNT: 4k 

↳ SYNOPSIS: Jungkook’s been feeling a little weird lately. Maybe it’s got something to do with his crumbling marriage and the way you seem to care for his daughter more than his own wife.

↳ A/N: ehem let’s pretend like i didn’t ghost this story for like half a year aha i’ve written more than this for cp but i decided to just divide it and leave the juicy stuff for the last chapter !! sorry for making u wait so long </3 anyway hope u enjoy still n i’ll see u in a couple months for the final chapter of cp!! (i’m jking…..or am i?)

01 02 03 04 05 (coming soon)

Minji thinks you’re starting to get better. 

Well, she hopes you are because it’s been two months since you broke the news on her and anyone would think that’d it be long forgotten by now. She tries to stop as often as she can to check up on you, even though you assure her that you’re fine and that a simple text would suffice instead of having her come over every day in between. 

Which is why she’s unsure if giving you the invitation Jungkook had handed her about two weeks ago was a good idea, considering that it’s been a few days since you had last even mentioned him to her like you usually did before. In fact, today you look like you’re at peace for the very first time.

‘‘I did yoga!’’ You explain when she mentions that you look different, ‘‘I still can’t face going back to Namjoon’s class, but I remember a ton of positions he taught us!’’ 

Minji has to force herself to smile, her hand lingers inside the purse she’s carrying as her fingers fiddle with the cardstock paper waiting patiently to be handed. 

‘‘And then I stopped for some yogurt at the place down the─’’

‘‘I need to give this to you,’’ Minji stops your ramble and you’re taken aback by how urgent her voice sounds, very unlike her. ‘‘I promised I’d get this to you, so…’’ 

You’re about to ask her what she’s on about when she abruptly hands what you could make out to be a colorful piece of paper. Your eyebrows furrowed at the sight, completely confused until it suddenly hit you what it is that your friend’s talking about.

‘‘How did you─?’’ 

Minji gives you half a smile and shakes her hand so you can take the card instead of just staring at it, ‘‘Just─take it.’’

Your hand reaches out to grab it from her and your eyes quickly focus on the unicorn and sparkles themed birthday invite. It reads that it’s Sunhi’s birthday and that you are invited! You recognize the handwriting that filled the party’s information details, you always thought he had really nice penmanship. 

‘‘I think you should go,’’ Minji’s voice sounds like she’s faraway, but she’s just a few feet away from you, ‘‘for Sunhi.’’ 

You’re still staring at the invitation, memorizing every single detail. There’s so many unicorns, when did she start liking the mythical creature? She had never mentioned a liking towards them to you ever. You assume it must’ve happened during these few months of your absence.

How many moments have you missed? How many unanswered questions must Sunhi have by now? How many new toys has she had to wait to show you? How many kindergarten stories has she been saving to tell you? 

You’ve been counting. Sixty days have passed since you last saw Sunhi. It’s been seven Fridays since you last had her in your arms. 

Sixty days and seven Fridays since you kissed Jungkook. Fifty-nine days since you blocked him. 

Minji is still waiting for any sort of reaction from you. You’re stoically analyzing the piece of paper and she wonders what is it that you’re thinking or feeling. Is it good, bad or all in one? Whatever it is, her small deed is done. 

‘‘Y/N?’’ She calls out, you slowly nod and take your eyes from the invitation from the first time since she gave it to you. ‘‘Do you mind if I go? I have some stuff to─’’

A small gasp escapes your lips, ‘‘Yes Minji, of course!’’ Your friend smiles slightly and you proceed to escort her out your apartment. She actually doesn’t have anything to do, but she thinks it’s best if you get some space to take everything in. 

Minji notices how you’re still holding on to the birthday invite and she has to suppress a chuckle because she knows you’re most likely doing this absentmindedly. 

Before you’re able to thank her for coming, she stops you to say one last thing. ‘‘If you don’t want to go, then don’t,’’ she begins and your eyebrows raise at your friend’s comment. ‘‘Whatever it is that you decide on doing, I’ll support you either way,’’ Minji offers you a genuine smile and you can’t help but hug her tightly.

You’re alone again. Loneliness has come in waves as of lately. You’ve lived alone for years now, you’re used to being the only person present in your apartment ─ but that fact hasn’t felt more obvious than since you shunned Jungkook out. 

Good days eventually turn sour. The times where it seems like you can go on about your life without thinking about him and what he might be up to quickly change because your mind makes you feel bad about feeling good. 

Why did you cut him off knowing his daughter idolizes you like no other? Why did you selfishly decide to block him when you could’ve just talked it out? Why didn’t you stop him that night if you knew things would change between you two? Why did you let him kiss you knowing it was going to hurt in the end?

You know Sunhi’s fourth birthday is coming up. It’s one of those dates you can’t simply forget, it comes naturally to you. You had settled with the idea that you weren’t going to be invited this time around, it would’ve been okay since you think it’s what you deserve anyway. If Jungkook had taken you off the guest list, he was in his total right to do so. 

You want to be mad at him right now.

Why would he invite you? Why couldn’t he just leave things the way they were? You wish you were angry, but you’re not. You feel slightly comforted with the fact that he had decided to include you even with everything that went down. In fact, not inviting you would’ve been selfish knowing that Sunhi must want you there. 

And if the invitation wasn’t enough of a sign that you should go, two days ago you got an email that the gift you had preordered for Sunhi some time ago was on its way to your place. Just in time for her birthday party. 

That’s life for you. 

You’re quick to remind yourself of Minji’s last words to you. You’re not obligated to go and if you don’t want to, then you don’t have to. But you’d be lying if you said that because you really want to go, but there’s still some things that are holding you back. Your brain starts breaking down the pros and cons of going. 

The pros: You’d get to see Sunhi again, who you missed terribly and a tiny part of you was wishing that she didn’t hate you for suddenly leaving. It’s too much to ask for, but you do hope that Jungkook had come up with something instead of telling her upfront that you had left. 

The cons: You’d have to see Jungkook. Having to face the awkwardness of knowing you had blocked his number, prohibiting him from contacting you and discussing what happened like adults would do. 

Oh, and you’d see Jiwoo too and pretend like you didn’t have any romantic feelings for her husband. 

Whatever decision it is, you’d only have two days to decide.

Jungkook smiled warmly as he looked at Sunhi twirling in her green and purple dress in front of the long length mirror in his bedroom. Ever since he got the garment in the mail, he had to hide it from her curious hands because if it were up to her she’d be wearing it day and night. 

‘‘Daddy, I look so cute!’’ Sunhi said with an excited tone, hopping in her place. The tull of her skirt followed her movements, making the glittery details sparkle brightly caused by the natural sunlight slipping through the curtain cracks. 

He chuckled, ‘‘You do, Pumpkin, but you need to settle down.’’ Jungkook placed his hands on her tiny shoulders, making his daughter’s bouncing cease. ‘‘You gotta be fully energized for the party, alright?’’ She nodded quickly, but he could still feel the excitement radiate from her. 

‘‘Gramma will do my braid, daddy.’’ Sunhi let him know once she noticed her father take a brush in his hand. The little girl much rather have her hair tangled in knots than having him attempt to do any sort of hairstyles on her. 

Jungkook pouts, but nods understanding. He’s thankful that his parents had made the trip from Busan this year. He knows his mother knew he would have a hard time setting everything up by himself this time around. His parents would normally miss Sunhi’s parties due to the distance, but he’d make it up to them by visiting the following weekend and doing a smaller gathering at their house instead. 

Things feel different. One could say that this time, everything is exactly where it should be. Sunhi’s growing older, his parents are here and not far away like usual, Jiwoo’s no longer in the picture, he’s picking back up the things that used to make him happy. There’s just a missing piece that doesn’t allow him to declare the puzzle’s finished.

And his daughter hasn’t really been helpful in allowing him to forget about it either. 

‘‘Daddy, is Auntie Y/N going to come?’’ She asked for what seemed the thousandth time that week alone. The younger girl only wanted to make sure you’re coming even though her father had reassured her that you might be making an appearance. 

Jungkook hummed, pursing his lips together, ‘‘Well, I don’t know if Auntie Y/N will manage to catch her flight in time for your party, but hopefully she’ll come,’’ he painfully lied and Sunhi nodded with a pout, she was hoping she’d get a different answer this time around, but still settles with her father’s explanation. 

Ever since you left, it had been part of her daily routine to ask about you and your whereabouts. Jungkook hated lying to his daughter, but he knew that even if he were to explain the ending of your friendship, she wouldn’t be able to understand. He had foolishly hoped that after telling her, repeatedly, that you had been out of the country because of your job, Sunhi would get the clue that you showing up at her birthday party was very unlikely. 

He can’t blame her because he’s also been hoping that you’ll show up for whatever reason. Jungkook’s aware that Minji had made no promises of you attending, but that little bit of faith he still had, clung onto you tightly. 

He’s let go of so many things recently, but he refuses to add you to that painful list. 

‘‘I miss Auntie Y/N,’’ Sunhi mumbled to herself, but Jungkook heard her clearly and his heart shattered at the longing in his daughter’s voice.

That’s why he’s relieved that she’s now running around the yard with her friends from the kindergarten she attends, screaming in glee as they all chase each other around the grass. The PinkFong playlist he had put together earlier that week has been a hit with the children, who danced and sang along to the lyrics; although some parents might’ve gotten tired of hearing the infantile music after a while. Jungkook himself is part of the people who much rather listen to something else, but it’s worth it if it means he catches Sunhi humming along to the tunes every once in a while. 

Having to entertain the parents has taken his mind off of knowing you’re not there. The party started two hours ago and you’re never late for anything, especially his daughter’s birthday celebrations. He’s settling with the idea that you’re no longer coming while he dabbles in serving food and refilling drinks, all the while having to make conversation with the parents of the invited kids. 

He can feel just how bad they feel for him, the word’s gotten around the PTA committee that he’s in the process of divorcing while taking full custody of his daughter.

‘‘Jungkook, how are you doing?’’ One of the invited moms asked him with a tactful tone, accompanied by a gentle smile that made him feel like a child for a mere moment. With a smile that could put anyone’s worries at ease, Jungkook assured her ─and the rest of the worrying mothers─ that he was doing just fine. 

It’s Sunhi’s day, it’s her party, a few more hours and you can cry all about it when she’s sleeping, had become his mantra as the party goes on.

‘‘What’s with the long face?’’ His mother suddenly asks him after he finishes placing the candles on Sunhi’s unicorn themed cake. 

Jungkook furrows his brows, ‘‘The unicorn’s face looks pretty alright to me,’’ he comments looking at the fondant shaped mythical creature at the top of the cake. 

Mrs. Jeon rolls her eyes, shaking her head slightly at his son’s obliviousness, ‘‘I’m talking about your long face. Is everything alright?’’ She asks in genuine concern, making him sigh as he scratches the back of his neck. ‘‘It’s not because of Jiwoo, right?’’ The woman cautiously asks, afraid the mention of her son’s ex partner might be too sensitive.

The news of the divorce had surprised his parents, but they weren’t completely heartbroken about it. They had known her for years, but it had never been a close relationship at that. His mother had made a couple of comments here and there before concerning his ex partner’s behavior, but were always overlooked by Jungkook.  

Jungkook’s eyebrows raise in surprise and he quickly shakes his head no, ‘‘I’m fine, mom. I’m just kinda tired.’’ 

For someone who hates lying, he’s been doing it a lot recently. 

His mother doesn’t seem so sure about his answer, but decides not to interrogate him any further since she knows her son has been dealing with too much recently and she didn’t want to add her nagging to the list. 

Eventually the party guests all sing happy birthday to Sunhi as she sits behind her cake clapping alongside them, mumbling the famous song as she waits for everyone to finish so she can blow the four candles out and make a wish. She closes her eyes with force, putting her hands together as the guests watch her silently mouth words out. 

‘‘What did you wish for, Sunhi?’’ One of the kids excitedly asks her, fingers curling around her arm as he waits for her to answer. 

Sunhi hmphs and turns her face away from him, ‘‘If I say it out loud it won’t come true!’’ 

Jungkook can only hope his daughter had asked for something he’s able to buy. The newest Barbie doll, a trip to the zoo, that pretty tutu she saw at the store. Anything that is at arm’s reach from him to give her. But Jungkook knows his daughter all too well, those things don’t really matter to her right now. 

Sunhi’s wish is something he can’t obtain ─ someone that’s no longer a call away from him. His daughter doesn’t know, but he’s wished for the same thing too. 

You to come back. 

The small pieces of confetti on the ground, paper decorations pasted on the wall and hanging from the ceiling of the house are enough to give away that a party had happened the day before, and that someone had been too tired by the end of it to even attempt to clean up. 

Even the thought of having to deal with all of the mess that his living room currently looks like is already making Jungkook regret not accepting his mother’s willingness to help after the party had ended yesterday, assuring her that she had done enough that day and that it was only fair he took care of the cleaning. 

Sunhi’s birthday had gone smoothly for the most part.

And as Jungkook scrolls through his phone’s gallery, smiling warmly at the small clips he managed to capture of his gleeful daughter running around the yard with her friends and the multitude of pictures his mother took of her blowing the candles of the cake out, granted, majority of them blurry, he is reminded that, although the party had been a success, the aftermath hadn’t been as pretty.

The party was over when he started hearing the first goodbyes and thankful comments of the parents for inviting them over, wishing Sunhi a final happy birthday before they took their sleepy kids in their arms. He had hoped his daughter would be drained too, despite the amount of sugar she had a few hours before. 

‘‘Auntie Y/N didn’t come.’’ Sunhi had stated, a pout on her trembling lips as she looked up at her tired father. ‘‘Why didn’t she come?’’ She asked in genuine curiosity as her eyes started glossing with tears.

Jungkook sighed, ‘‘Pumpkin, I told you she’s not in town. I’m sorry she─’’ It didn’t matter what excuse he had given her, the waterworks had begun. He hadn’t seen his daughter cry like that in a long time and for a moment, he didn’t know what to do to get her to stop. 

Even if he tried to coax her with distractions, like the number of gifts she had received from the guests or telling her he’d let her have another slice of cake if she stopped crying. He knew that what his daughter wanted wasn’t toys or food. She wanted you. And as much as Jungkook wants you just as much, he’s lost on ways to make you come back. 

Sunhi cried for what seemed like hours, his parents had even tried to cheer the little girl up by promising to take her to their house the very next morning for the rest of the weekend, to which she merely nodded as she fell asleep from exhaustion on her father’s chest. 

He envied her as he remained awake for most of the night, tears streaming down his face as guilt ate him away for his daughter’s heartbreak. 

It’s his fault after all. 

Jungkook isn’t upset you didn’t show up, you didn’t have to. Not even Sunhi could make you come back. Selfishly kissing you that night had changed the course of your relationship forever and that meant that his daughter would have to pay for his wrongdoings. 

With the absence of Sunhi, he’s reminded of just how big his house feels when he’s by himself. Ever since Jiwoo moved out, the only company he’s had is that of his daughter and it’s more than enough. With her dancing around the hallways and singing songs to the top of her lungs, Jungkook doesn’t feel as lonely.

He must’ve missed the knocking at the door or the ringing doorbell ─if there even was one─ because of the earphones he had on while he swept the confetti paper scattered on the hardwood floor of his home because by the time he opens his door to get a run around the neighborhood, he notices there’s a gift placed in his front doorstep. 

Jungkook’s brows furrow with confusion, unsure of why it was there in the first place. He’s sure Sunhi had opened all of her gifts last night, lazily and not very excited about them after her big cry, but she had made sure to leave them all unwrapped.

The medium-sized box is wrapped with a white and pink polka-dot paper, a cute golden ribbon placed right in the middle of it. Jungkook picks it up, bringing it closer for better inspection. Maybe it was from one of the kids that couldn’t make it? Although, they could’ve just gave it to Sunhi when they saw her at school again.

His eyes widen and his heartbeat races up when he reads the sticker tag with the name of the person responsible for the gift. 

‘‘To: Sunhi ♡

From: Auntie Y/N’’

His eyes scan the tag over and over again, just to make sure he’s reading the name correctly. When he manages to take his attention away from it, he looks around the street in hopes that he’d find you. 

How long has this been out here? Could he have caught a glimpse of you had he been less distracted? 

Although it feels wrong to open his daughter’s gift without her consent, he feels the urgent need to peek at what’s inside. His mind even tries to reason with himself, telling him it’s probably only a doll or a clothing item, like the other gifts Sunhi had received from the birthday guests yesterday. 

With a click of his tongue, he forgoes doing the right thing and tells himself that he’ll just wrap the gift again before Sunhi comes back from his parent’s house. 

The cute wrapping paper is thrown over his shoulder carelessly as he quickly unveils a white cardboard box, tilting his head slightly at what could possibly be inside. When he takes the top off, a soft gasp escapes his lips. 

A pink and white digital camera aimed for children lies inside, there’s decorative paper placed around it and a note inside. Jungkook swallows the lump in his throat, taking it delicately in his hand as he reads the words written in the familiar handwriting that hasn’t changed from all those years back in college. 

‘‘Happy 4th birthday, Sunhi! Since you’re growing older, I wanted to gift you something different this year around. Your daddy loves taking videos and I thought you should start doing it too, maybe he’ll pick his camera back up again haha. I’m sorry I couldn’t be there to see you blow your candles out, I hope all your wishes come true! I love you and miss you so much, 

-Auntie Y/N’’

Jungkook blinks back the tears that had formed in the corners of his eyes. He places the note back inside the box and breathes in deeply, exhaling slowly as he stares at the gift. No one but you could come up with an idea like this. It hurts him, but he smiles slightly at your thoughtfulness. 

A different feeling arises inside him as he holds the gift in his hand, looking at it like this is the sign he had been sent from above. The last thread of his string of faith. He doesn’t even think twice, placing the gift gently inside and rushing to step outside to close the door. 

He’ll go on that run, just not around his neighborhood. 

As he runs past rows of houses and stores, the voice inside his head tries to tell him that he should think rationally. There’s a reason why you didn’t show up yesterday and another for you dropping the gift in front of his house without a sound. You don’t want to see him and yet he’s running straight towards you even if he knows this is hopeless. 

He manages to shut that voice off as he maintains his rapid pace, rushing past the rows of buildings he’s familiar with and the street names he’s memorized by now. It all feels so different when he’s not behind the wheel, he usually always has to depend on his GPS to help him reach places. Your address, though, is one he proudly knows by heart. 

As Jungkook stands outside your apartment building, he stares at it with the sound of his heart drumming inside his ears. Catching his breath, he’s reminded of the many times these past few months he’s been here, with Sunhi fast asleep in her car seat at the back. 

He always pictured going up, knocking at your door, and begging for forgiveness, all for you to turn him down in the end with a gut-wrenching I don’t want you in my life anymore and a door closing on his face. That’s why he always drove away, deciding that uncertainty is better than hearing you reject him.

This time, though, nervous and unsure as he usually is when he comes here, Jungkook breathes in deep and ignores the familiar knot formed inside his stomach. 

He decides that uncertainty isn’t a feeling he wishes upon you.

[obeymebabes]

A HC about the brothers reacting to Mammon running away, hiding out with MC in the human realm after leaving angry letters about how he regrets the fall and being part of their family

I am not feeling great so angst is the way to go. Please shower your local Avatar of Greed with so much love. He deserves it. He is trying.

Warning: Really just sad. I'm so sorry. This broke my heart to write.

Lucifer

Lucifer was the first to notice the second-born's disappearance.

Mammon had mentioned something about leaving before, but never followed through with it so Lucifer brushed it off for a while.

On occasion he would be missing for a week while going out to find new witches to give him money.

He started worrying when Mammon never answered his D.D.D. and some of his stuff went missing.

When Lucifer finally opened up the last letter Mammon had sent him, it brought him to tears. A rare thing for Lucifer.

Despite the Avatar of Greed always getting himself into so much trouble, Lucifer still cares about him. Deeply.

Knowing that he had lost his brother by pushing him too far over the edge was now worse than what happened during and after the Celestial War.

He would do everything and anything to protect Mammon. Lucifer just wanted the best for him, and unfortunately it drove him away.

Levi

Not as quick to notice Mammon's absence.

He doesn't leave his room often, so how would he ever know?

When he did notice, he was honestly mad about not getting his money back from him before he had left.

When the Avatar or Envy got his letter, it stung him in a place he never thought possible.

Levi felt guilty for all of the times he had teased Mammon, calling him names because he was simply jealous of his brother's glory.

Mammon was always the better-looking, more favorable brother, so of course Levi was beyond envious of him.

With his brother's disappearance and no way to contact him and tell him he was sorry, Levi sulked in his room, barely even leaving to eat or use the bathroom.

Satan

Mammon's gone? Oh. Satan simply thought he was away on a trip or something.

"I'm sure he will come crying and running back soon."

Satan didn't realize the extent of the situation. Not until he read the letter he had received from his older brother.

The letter was harshly written, even for Satan's standards.

Explaining that he hated him, his family, and never wanted to see their faces again.

A similar feeling to how he felt most days. It broke his heart, knowing that Mammon felt the same way he did, and yet he still continued to add on the stress.

A wave of regret soon washed over him, thinking back to all of the times he belittled his poor brother.

Satan isn't always one to outwardly show his feelings, but he sulked. Really bad.

Most days he didn't leave the room. Trying to sort through his endless books to find just a simple way of maybe reversing time or perhaps a way to track him down to apologize for being so cruel.

Asmo

Mammon isn't Asmo's main priority. He didn't notice at all, actually.

Asmo and Mammon don't usually get along very well. Or at all. In the rare times they do, it's nice.

Asmo wants to be the number one. Unfortunately he knows he isn't when it comes to Lucifer. That place belongs to Mammon.

Being the Avatar of Greed, Mammon has taken a lot, especially from Asmo, knowing his beauty products are always worth money.

When Asmo received the hateful and upsetting letter, he couldn't hold himself together.

As much as he despised his older brother, deep down he still loved him.

Asmo was different after that. Very different.

The one thing he cherished most, he let go of. Himself.

He would go days without taking care of himself. Locking himself in his room, blaming everything that happened in himself.

No one seen him much. He stopped shopping, stop going out, stopped flirting with others.

Asmo was a mess, every day just regretting everything and wishing he could have his beloved greedy brother back.

Beel

Beel was the second quickest to notice his missing brother.

While they didn't have a close relationship, Beel cherishes his family even more so than food.

He was constantly worried about Mammon. Scared that this would ruin the others as well.

Receiving the harshly worded letter, and knowing the rest of the family did also really crushed Beel.

This poor gentle giant started shaming himself. Believing it was his fault.

Why was it his fault? Because he couldn't stop the others, and there were plenty of times he could've stepped in but didn't.

Left with even more guilt from the fall, he gave up eating. He wanted to feel the pain as a reminder to always take care of his family, what was left of them, anyway.

Belphie

Belphie, typically being asleep, never payed much mind to Mammon or his whereabouts.

He was blissfully unaware of the situation at hand.

While Beel tried to confront Belphie as a way of trying to get someone to listen, often times he wouldn't listen, or tell Beel that he was worried over nothing.

As more time passed without any word on Mammon's whereabouts he did feel mildly concerned.

Belphie does care about his family. Maybe not as much as Beel, but enough to want them happy together.

When he received the letter from Mammon he was hopeful. That was until he read that he was never to return and hated them as a family.

He cried to Beel more often than he would like to admit, feeling as if he didn't get to spend enough time with him, and even when they did, it wasn't always good.

Belphie slept more, trying to waste the days away by dreaming of either more nightmares to cease his restless thoughts or dreams of Mammon coming back.

[twatshag]

♤ Sakusa kiyoomi's night terrors ♤

Unfaithful. Oh it was just a dream. But why did it feel so real...

Genre: fluff to angst and then back to fluff, smut

Pairing: TIMESKIP both characters!!!!!sakusa x fem reader (in dream atsumu X READER)

Warnings: smut in dream, you cheating in the dream (you wrong for dat sis😩)

M DNI!!!

HIS POV small glimpse of your pov as well

—----------------------------------------------—

What a day. I sighed looking at the clock it was only 5 pm. Y/n was going to be here at 8 pm. I cleaned and already bought groceries for dinner.

I'm quite satisfied with how things looked around the apartment. As of lately y/n decided to bring me some plants and decorations everytime she visited, because in her opinion my apartment looked lifeless and bland.

I smiled softly thinking about tonight. I'm going to ask her to move in with me today. I mean I hope she doesnt mind. Maybe she'll be taken back by my sudden request or oh god what if she rejects me.. ?

I gulped trying to focus on the show I was watching and pushing back all the negative outcomes. She told me about this show during one of our phone calls and told me that I'd definitely enjoy it. She knows me so well, god I can't wait to tell her how much I appreciate her today.

As of lately I've been gathering up the courage to finally tell her that I'm ready to have intercourse with her. She's been so loving and patient this whole time I can't imagine how sweet she is for waiting up 6 months for me. I couldn't imagine if there was anyone who'd be so willing to respect my very picky boundaries but there she was.

I can't help but think about how it would feel for me and her being so close together. And becoming one. I blushed deeply at the thought. After all there Is one benefit of her not living with me.

That's not seeing me blush like this tsk. I bet she'd give me that smug smile and ask if I'm okay. I rolled my eyes thinking about her smug smile.

I never really asked if she's had.. intercourse with someone before. What if I wasn't good enough to satisfy her expectations..? What if.. she rejects my offer? What if I hurt her during it ? Oh god I don't want that. My head plagued me with bad thoughts about the idea of trying to satisfy her and failing miserably.

Y/n is absolutely gorgeous, all my team mates seem to love her and hell I really hate the way that stupid setter of a team mate looks at her.

I can't help but get jealous because she seems so comfortable with him. Sometimes I even find myself comparing the alternative realities of her being with him instead.

He's easy going has no stupid boundaries and he probably has a ton of experience to satisfy her.. my heart clenched at the thought of her leaving me for him.

I pushed those thoughts back once again. I looked at the clock it read 5:30 pm. Maybe I can dose off and when she comes around I'll tell her everything that's on my mind. I can't keep on post poning things.

I closed my eyes long forgotten about the show playing in the background as I waited for her.

~~~~~\\~~~~~~~~~~\~~\\\~~\\\\\~~~~~~\\\~\~~~~

My eyes shot open as I heard muffled sounds in my apartment. Just what the hell was that?

I groaned as I sat up and looked at the clock it read 6:50 pm. Could she have arrived early?

The sounds were coming from the bedroom I smiled softly as I heard her beautiful voice. A voice that's so gentle when talking to me, so soft when she notices the way I slump from a long day of practice. Everything I've ever wanted in a woman. Was mine to keep and cherish.

I peeked through the crack and I noticed someone hovering over the bed. Smiling I opened it more to see what she was doing.

"Oh god yes yes tsumu right there." I felt my heart rip out of my chest. There she laid in my own apartment,in my own bed. With him. On top of her kissing her neck and thrusting into her.

She clung to him harder than she's ever clung to me.

Her mouth hung open and the so beautiful voice was now a curse I was hearing.

He kissed her neck hungrily.

"Ya feel so good angel-so fucking good." He quickened his pace while kissing her disgustingly his tongue gracing her so beautiful skin and infecting it. "Tsumu- aghnn mmhm yes-God fuck yes- yes y-ea-s." I wanted to scream, to move and tear them apart, to burn the whole apartment down hell even to avert my eyes but I couldn't.

Everything I've loved sat there being caressed by another man. That man was not me.

That man was someone better than I'll ever be.

Her gaze fell on me. Tears perked up my eyes looking at her stone lust filled eyes.

She gave me a smug smile.. That smug smile that was always so playfully displayed looked much darker than ever. No hint of playfulness or mercy. No hint of fake innocence as it once had.

"You've always been such a burden sakusa." I flinched at her tone and the mention of my last name, while that man was kissing her neck hungirly, thrusting into her as if I wasn't even there to begin with. That I ceased to exist in his world as of now.

Everything went silent for a moment, her whimpers became muted from the way the faux blonde thrusted into her as she spoke the next words.

"I never loved you. Sakusa. Me and you both know that atsumu was always the righteous man for me. You good for nothing replaceable freak."

And with that I was pushed back into the sofa my eyes shot open as I stared at her face above me cheeks flushed red from her shower she looked so beautiful but my heart it ached from what I saw. Did he see her like this too? She shrieked and stepped back.

"jesus christ kiyo! What the hell ?! are you psychic? I was about to wake you up!"

Kiyo... a name she always called me when things were serious. But the worry and softness that concealed her voice was not enough for me to accept what I just saw as an illusion.

I stood up pushing past her acting like she's not even there. I despised her existence with all my heart yet I can't help but repeat those words in my head. She's right I am replaceable. I'm a freak and I'll never be able to find love.

"Hey what the hell?! I'm talking to you, you know mister sleepy head!" She followed me into the kitchen trying to get me to talk to her, god her presence made me want to vomit.

I grabbed a glass and poured water into it and as I began to drink it to calm my nerve down before I lost my composure that was literally hanging by a thread right now.

I felt her hand on my back and to say the least i wanted nothing but to get her filthy hands and presence out of my life right now.

"Omi..what's wrong you kn-"

"Don't fucking touch me." I hissed, venom lacing my tone as I averted her gaze because seeing her made my heart clench.

Everything that I always wanted was in the arms of someone else. But why keep me around? Why hurt me like this?

I felt her staring at me wide eyed and from the corner of my eye I could see that she looked at her hand.

"I'm sorry are my hands di-"

"They're fucking filthy you disgusting bitch." This time I looked her in the eyes. Her eyes widened at my tone. She deserved it. She did this to herself what the hell was she expecting?

me to welcome her back after she just tore my heart apart ? After she was....with him? In my fucking bed? Infecting it and my life with the pain?

"Omi you don'-"

"Get out."

"W-what? Wh-"

"I SAID GET OUT!" I slammed my hand on the counter and she flinched "get the hell out of my apartment you filthy-" not even finishing my sentence I suddenly felt cold and wet

—----------------------------------------------—

YOUR POV

—----------------------------------------------—

If there's anything that life has taught me it's that whenever someone was angry DO NOT stay around them. For the sake of the both of you.

As I entered kiyoomi's apartment having a spare he was sleeping peacefully on the sofa making me smile softly. Deciding to leave him rest until I took my clothes off showering and then coming back to the living room to wake him up.

I couldn't help but notice that he was shuffling as if he was in pain i frowned and I decided to reach to shake him awake just as I was about to do so to my surprise he just jolted awake and now here we are.

He was being extremely mean and I think that I know what was going on he was shouting at me with a tone I've never recognised before.

The advise of leaving someone angry long left my mind and the glass of water now emptied in omi's face.

He stared at the ground with such pure anger and hate shocked that I had the nerve to even do such a thing after whatever the hell he saw or heard.

I sighed

"What ever dream y/n did just know that I'd never do to you. When you're ready to talk to me about it I'll be in your balcony. I'm sorry for.. throwing water in your face but you need to understand that I had no other choice." I scratched the back of my neck awkwardly putting the glass down on the counter in case he wanted to drink one more time before facing me. And with that I left and made my way to his balcony.

Whatever he saw must've hurt him deeply for him to react that way I thought I sat down looking at the beautiful sight of Tokyo breathing in its air smiling softly at the sounds of the lifeful city.

Whenever he's ready he'll come to me.

—----------------------------------------------—

Back to his pov

—----------------------------------------------—

She... threw water in my face. Suddenly I feel more awake. And guilty. God I feel so guilty. It was just a dream.

And I thought she'd... I have to fix this.

Panicking on how the hell i was going to word off 'sorry i had a dream where you cheated and I was so sure you did it so I screamed at you ' to her I filled the glass of water and drank it going into the bedroom sighing and letting a few tears spill while changing my wet shirt.

At times like this I'd truly begin to wish that I was like everyone else.

That I wasn't a very cautious man who was so blunt and had a comeback for everything but the man that could've made her life better.

I put on my slides and my hand hovered over my balcony door. Watching her city gaze smiling softly to herself.

At times where she would come over she always insisted on drinking coffee in my balcony at night.

At first it sounded so silly because I wouldn't get to sleep the whole night but instead i slept better and happier more fulfilled.

"Staring isn't nice you know?" Her sweet voice cut my train of memories and I opened the door clearing my throat.

God how awkward where the hell do I even begin to apologise i feel so guilty and dumb for even doubting you.

I sat next to her.

"You cheated on me.." she snapped her neck so fast it felt like it broke wide eyed. Before she could even speak I reassured "in my dream."Her expression softened she nodded listening to what I had to say.

"It felt so...real.. I walked onto you and atsumu.. and you told me that I'm a burden and you n-never loved me." I couldn't face her. I couldn't even look at her because of my ignorance and insecurities it truly was a pathetic sight for her to witness me this way.

Hot tears streamed down my face as I sniffiled.

"I know you always assure me that there's no need for me to be jealous or worry about him but it felt so real. I know that you'd be better of with someone who understood you better than I did. Act better than I did..hell even not doubt you because of something like this. "

my heart clenched at the next outcome. That being Her actually leaving me. I opened my mouth to speak only to be cut off by her "can I touch you?"

I looked at her nervously nodding like a small child as she pulled me into her arms hugging me while rubbing my back.

"I'd never dream of leaving you Kiyoomi. Yet alone be in someone else's arms.." I clung to her worried that if I didn't she'd leave me.

I cried softly against her repeating apologies while she rocked me.

"Hey hey Shh omi.. it's alright I know you didn't mean any of it. Besides I can't believe dream me cheated on you and with nasty ass atsumu out of all people" she fake gagged.

Making me laugh tearfully against her chest pulling away to look at her and she cupped my face in her hands making me look deeply in her so beautiful love filled eyes. Something dream her didnt have.

"There hasn't been a day that's passed where I don't thank god that you chose me out of everyone else omi. I'd be so stupid to throw away everything that you've given me." She smiled at me so sweetly it gave me toothache "i dont care if there are people out there who have no boundaries and arent afraid of germs and hell can touch me no matter what because those people arent you. I'd never ever lay in someone's elses arms kiyo..you're the one for me you know that right?" She looked back at me searching for a confirmation that I believed her so I nodded gently "It's always going to be you omi.. okay? I'm not going anywhere and you're stuck with me sadly." She giggled while a few tears were threatening to spill from her eyes my heart clenched this time because of her sweetness and care.

"I wouldn't mind being anywhere as long as it's with you y/n" I smiled at her as I brought my hand to her face and kissed her. The taste of her lips were always so intoxicating. So addictive.

And at that I knew it'll be okay. I loved her so much, with every muscle and bone in my body. But it was okay because so did she.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~\\\\\~~~~~~

"How do you want the pork chopped?" I looked at her from my counter while she confusingly stared at me "omi... I don't eat pork." Oops I forgot that. And now I'm embarrassed that I did. "O-oh yeah sorry." Fucking idiot.. I thought to myself.

She giggled and hugged me from behind and kissed my shoulder peeking from the sides watching me as I chopped the pork. Smiling at her so familiar warmth.

"No need to be embarrassed you're not the only one who forgets it all the time you know" I rolled my eyes at her observant habit still smiling at her warmth but I wont let her slide that easy so I'll tease her "says the big baby who's clinging onto me like a baby koalo." She giggled against my back sending shivers down my spine. "Yeah its your fault that you're so handsome and cuddly." I chuckled at her reasoning she hummed as if she was in thought. "Oh yeah, Omi you wanted to talk to me about something was it me cheating on you in your dream or something else ?" She teased.

I got a bit stiff At the thought of even asking her to move in with me. She backed away from me as I turned around.

"Y-yeah.." she raised an eyebrow at me "so which one is it?" She asked eagerly crossing her arms "I-uh,," why was this so freaking hard to ask I scratched the back of my neck avoiding her gaze. "Move in w-ith me...?" I mumbled softly I felt my face heat up as I attempted to ask her that half ass effort.

She smiled that one smug smile I loved to see so much but I'll never tell her that.

"Speak up I cant hear you omi" I rolled my eyes at her and turned my back continuing with chopping up the pork. "Guess you dont want to.." I mumbled earning a small gasp from her and to leech onto me from the side hugging me tightly "no no no sorry I heard you yes I'd love that, actually I've been dying to move in with you but I can't just ask hey I'm going to move in with you so make room for me in your closet" she giggled and kissed my cheek lovingly making me smile. I looked up at her as she smiled so hard at me teeth and everything. She leaned in to kiss me.

Now or never.

"I'm also ready to have sex with you." I moved away to the freezer to grab something I can make her leaving her hangingon thin air. She almost choked on nothing blushing immediately.

"YOU WHAT NOW??" I smirked at her loud voice and shock.

"Is chicken okay?" And now her face turned sour in disbelief. Possibly redder too.

"YOU CAN'T JUST ACT LIKE YOU DIDN'T JUST SAY THAT!"

"I guess chicken it is" I shrugged smirking at her.

"KIYOOOOOOMIIIII"

At the end of the day i always knew that home was always going to be right here with her around me. I'm one lucky man to have her around me. But I've hit bulls eye with her love for me.

—----------------------------------------------—

Kiyoomi made you chicken soup that day. And he decided that today was the day to give you his all let's just say.. his insecurities weren't right at all about him. Even saying that he totally satisfied you wasn't enough to describe the feeling you felt. Now sakusa has grown addicted to how you feel around him. My guy is whipped and extremely horny for you.

—----------------------------------------------—

A/N: I LITERSLLY FELL ASLEEP IN THE MIDDLE OF WRITING THIS AHAHAHAHA anyway I feel like this isn't my best work yet but I hope that you guys liked it ;(;( I feel like there's not enough his pov content so I decided to make it his pov also this isn't my best work so I'm sorryyyy im insecure rn pls I hope yall enjoyed this thank you so much for reading !!

-kira

[skiyoosmi]

if fate permits

chapter twenty

a taste of his own medicine

previous < masterpost > next

“Hey… uhm… I’m sorry. I’m not sure where to start because I’ve been the worst friend to ya for the past weeks. But I want to start with an apology, I guess… yer probably tired of hearing it, right? … it’s something I’ll never gonna be proud of, my pettiness, I mean… but yeah… I’m sorry, YN. I hope ya believe me when I say yer impo–”

Beep! You sighed, ending yet another voicemail from Atsumu. It’s been almost a week since you and your brother moved out of the apartment and ever since the day after that, your soulmate has yet to cease dropping more than three voicemails every single day.

It wasn’t that you haven’t caught sight of him at school; in fact, you see him everywhere. It’s just so happens that you couldn’t help but avoid him like a plaque. You think he knows it though and you’re actually glad that he’s trying to respect your space (except for the endless ringing of your phone which only gets sent straight to voicemail every time, much like today). Which is why right now, you only stared at his contact, contemplating whether you will entertain his ‘apology.’ He sounds like he regrets it, after all and the fact that you only have less than 10 days before your flight wasn’t helping the situation.

“You know, if you keep having a soft heart like that, I’m betting a hundred bucks you won’t get too far once you become a famous writer. A lot of people will take advantage of you, you know. And don’t even get me started with those haters that disguise themselves as critiques,” Speaking of the devil, Kiyoomi suddenly spoke up, his figure leaning against the doorway of your room, much like the pose your father had when you were leaving your previous apartment.

Hundred bucks, you begin to think, where the hell would your jobless ass get a hundred bucks? You won’t tell him that verbally, of course; you value your life too much to even risk being strangled by your brother’s own hands.

“What do you mean soft heart? Where’d you even get the idea that I’m going to talk to him, doofus!? No way, he needs to learn his lesson,” You huffed, turning to him with an eyebrow raised, as if challenging him. He scoffed, entering your room, and sitting on your bed. You were kind of surprised he did given that your room was still messy as hell; but once again, you opted to keeping your mouth shut.

“It’s written all over your face, dear sister. Plus, you’ve said that a million times already I’m actually tired of hearing it now. After all these years, you think I don’t memorize every habit you have?” He replied, hands taking some of the clothes that were still stored in a brown carton and beginning to fold them neatly before standing up and putting it into your closet. He really does take after your father, from appearances to characteristics, “Your eyes, they speak to me the loudest, telling me every bit of your feelings. In fact, I’m kind of puzzled Atsumu never found out through them. But then again, it just supports the truth that he’s as dumb as he could get.”

This boy doesn’t really miss a chance to voice out his disfavor for your soulmate, huh? You wonder what is it that made him dislike… no, wait dislike was an underestimation… rather, loath Atsumu to the core. Bad first impression? No, your brother was not that petty. Did they have a fight you never knew about? If Atsumu and him ever fought, you were sure as hell you’d be the first one to know, seeing as your best friend practically whines and complains at you at every single thing in his life… so why?

“He hurt you and not just once. It’s not supposed to be my business but technically speaking, you are my sister before you were his soulmate and that’s all I needed to dislike him,” said Kiyoomi, continuing to fold your clothes as if what he said was practically nothing. Was he a mind-reader? You don’t know but perhaps, you could try to convince him to start up a fortune-telling business with you and earn millions.

“… You’re so creepy, ‘Yoomi,” You spoke up after a few moments of silence while he sneered, obviously not pleased with your comical reply, “Forget it! God, it’s so hard to have a serious talk with you.”

You only pursed your lips before bursting out into laughter, making him glare at you before his eyes softened. He hasn’t heard that pure laughter in a long time, after all. For some odd reason, he is proud that it was him that made you happy again like that, even for just a short while. After watching you work on something he doesn’t really know what, probably for the play, (it’s a relief you still have a smile on your face while you were on it though), he stands up, stopping by the doorway again when he heard you speak, “Thanks for being there, ‘Yoomi. Can’t imagine my life without my best brother.”

Kiyoomi knows he’s far from being the best brother in the world; he wasn’t expressive, sweet nor overprotective… but hearing those words from you means he’s at least good and somehow, he’s fine with that. He remains quiet before saying, “You know, your friend Hajime, I think he’s nice.”

He doesn’t say anything more, but he knows that his words reached you; he didn’t miss the way you blushed, after all. He takes note of making you flustered more often.

Osamu grumbles under his breath in annoyance, clenching then unclenching his hands as he watched Yui cling onto his brother’s arm like there was no tomorrow. Doesn’t this girl have any decency left in her blood? They were in the public cafeteria of the university, good heavens! And they haven’t even officially became soulmates AND a couple.

The last thing he wanted on his agenda today was to become a third wheel, much less to his brother; and the fact that it’s not even with you, the true soulmate, his favorite Sakusa (he won’t let Kiyoomi know that though), and best drinking buddy, makes it more unbearable for the gray-haired lad. He could only scowl so hard at his twin, who on the other hand, remained unmoved. At least that’s what Osamu sees but unbeknownst to him, Atsumu just wishes he could go and find you as soon as possible.

He has had enough of you averting your gaze each time you catch each other’s eyes at the theater room. According to his brother, your flight is in ten days which means he only had a few more days to make your friendship right; to make it up to you and prove that you are, indeed, an important figure in his life (cue Osamu’s mocking last night when they talked: “HAH!? You sure do have a peculiar way of showing her that she’s important. You’re making me want to laugh and choke you at the same time.”)

“Oh! Iwaizumi-kun, Tooru and… Sakusa YN?” Yui trails off, making the blonde perk up at the sound of your name, turning his body quickly only to find you already looking back at them with… disappointed eyes? As quickly as it came, it disappeared and soon, you were smiling and waving at Osamu, completely ignoring your “best” friend. Atsumu can only stare at you in disbelief; never, not even once, had you disregarded his existence like that before. Even when you had small arguments, you made sure to acknowledge him with a simple nod.

In addition to your indifference, Hajime only furrowed his eyebrows in confusion at Yui’s greeting, as if he doesn’t know Yui at all, not even as an acquaintance. Hence, the three of you only proceeded to the table Makki, Mattsun and your brother saved for you.

“Eh? Iwaizumi… ignored me?” Yui frowned, obviously not used to being disregarded by the boy who used to give her a greeting every time they come across each other. As far as she could remember, they ended their bond in good terms, without anyone having to feel angry at the other so why is it that he acted that way? Did he hold a grudge after all?

Meanwhile, Atsumu gazed into nothing, your sad eyes flashing into his mind and staying there. Have you given up on him already? Did his nightmare that day actually came true? His trail of thoughts was cut off with Osamu’s voice speaking with amusement plastered on his face, “ooh, a taste of his own medicine, huh YN?”

He smirks, finding his brother’s suffering oddly satisfying. He too, like Kiyoomi, has his limits as to Atsumu’s undesired talent of hurting you (he knows the blonde was also suffering but you know, it just really gets on his nerves how blind his twin could get). So right after saying that, he stands up, picking up his tray that holds his food and beginning to walk where your table was.

“Samu! Where are you going?” The said lad looks back at his blonde twin weirdly before shrugging, “YN and Kiyoomi’s table, where else? You can’t expect me to stay on the table with you two, it’s weird.”

“So… you really can’t remember anything about your soulmate? Like who it is or something?” Oikawa asked, staring at Hajime’s hands, as if he’d be able to see anything on his pinky. Unfortunately for him, the ex-captain was not given the ability to be a Moira so he wouldn’t be able to see any changes no matter how long or hard he looks. The spiky-haired lad merely groans, feeling a headache coming due to his dear friend’s pestering, “Yes. I told you that already. I just woke up, saw my thread black and now, I can’t remember anything about who it is.”

“But you can remember us? It’s just the soulmate stuff you forgot?”

“Well, I’m talking to you right now, am I not, you dumbass?” Hajime snarled; an inch close to punching his best friend in the face. Beside him, you look down, feeling the sadness and heartbreak for him because even those feelings were lost the moment he woke up. If you let go of Atsumu, will this also happen to you? You can only give a pathetic laugh at your silly question; of course, it will. You weren’t some kind of special Moira that will be exempted from that ‘curse.’ But you wonder, how would he react? Would he be sad? Or would he just forget about you too and just throw everything you had away? It seems so easy for him to do that, after all.

Now that you witness what’s gonna happen upon cutting the thread, a part of you somehow wishes you should’ve just told him when it was still early, when you were still young and problem-free. Maybe he would’ve given you a promise like those in the movies wherein he says he would marry you once you get older. Maybe he would’ve been able to love you if you could’ve just given him a chance to do so. But it’s your fault, isn’t it? Because you were a coward; you were so greedy for true love that you can no longer have it, you think to yourself.

In the midst of your rather negative thoughts, a warm hand pulls you away from mentally beating up yourself further. Looking up, you find Hajime looking at you with soft eyes, as if assuring your heart that: “You’ll be fine. I’m here. I’ll keep you safe.”

Maybe… just maybe, the universe has given you another chance for true love.

marga's notes. I HAVE FOUND A NEW HUSBAND AND HIS NAME'S BENIMARU SHINMON

taglist is closed

[mittensmorgul]

Since the finale aired, I’ve been yammering on about how it would’ve only worked as a finale to s2, and now that I’m actually rewatching s2, I stand by that even more staunchly. The finale doesn’t work in a post-s2 supernatural universe.

This is the version of Dean we saw in the finale-- the one whose only mission in life was to Save Sammy, to help him get his revenge and allow him to go out and live a Normal Safe Life pretending that hunting and monsters don’t exist. The one who just wanted some pie, to drive his car, and had no real connections beyond Sam in the world outside of Bobby. Even Dean’s characterization in the finale is this far younger Dean who’d never allowed himself to crack open and truly understand love. It would take me years to plow through everything I’ve ever written about him as a character and his long struggle to emotional maturity we saw evolve over the next 13 years beyond this episode, but the tl;dr will always be “this s2 Dean is the same as the Dean in the finale.”

The goal of s2 was saving SAM from his “destiny,” too. In this era of the show, Dean didn’t have a “destiny” the same way Sam did. The ONLY thing that mattered was freeing Sam from “becoming evil,” and being manipulated into terrible things. What Dean wanted, what he was “destined” for by the narrative was irrelevant, because all of his choices and emotional burdens were tied only to saving Sam. To freeing Sam so he could safely return to his “normal life.” Go back to college, have a family and the white picket fence life.

This was before Dean truly began fighting for HIMSELF. Which only really and truly began after he sells his soul to resurrect Sam. That’s when Dean truly begins fighting for himself. Sure, he’s angry with John during s2 for trading his own life for Dean’s, for putting the burden of “if you can’t save Sam, you’ll have to kill him” on his shoulders with his dying breath, but Dean is still fighting against John’s authority and the complicated tangle of feelings of his own childhood and not actually coming to terms with his own wants and needs and wishes out beyond that yet. He’s still unwittingly confronting the “destiny” John had set up for him, and hasn’t moved beyond that yet. It’s only trading his soul for Sam’s that finally brings Dean into the cosmic narrative that will fuel his introspection and personal growth for the rest of the series.

And out beyond that point, his entire character arc explodes into orbit.

Dean’s entire character arc in s3 is confronting this very basic fact: he doesn’t deserve to have been sacrificed just to save Sam. He doesn’t deserve that burden, and he does deserve to live. This is the realization he comes to before eventually being dragged to Hell and then rescued by an angel, who literally tells him, “you don’t think you deserve to be saved” in the aftermath of that. From that point on, we have TWELVE SEASONS of Dean struggling with what he “deserves” versus what is “fate” and “destiny” and eventually confronting what he WANTS if he truly could choose his own destiny.

Plus, out beyond that point, he has Cas. And nothing changes Dean, pushes him to grow and understand himself, and accept himself-- all of himself, from the good to the horrific-- than the pure and unflinching acceptance of Castiel. Cas never looked at him and said “you are evil,” or “you are worthless.” (well, they’ve both said some pretty awful stuff to each other over the years, but there was either brainwashing or other deeper issues pushing those things on them, and they have ALWAYS eventually come back to one another, and the awful stuff was dealt with). Point is, Dean and Cas both began running these parallel arcs of duty versus desire, and for Dean, the duty was always framed around “taking care of Sam” versus pursuing any sort of ambition or goals for himself. They would fight for this for most of the rest of the series, until eventually the goal for ALL of them would be about discovering what they would want for themselves.

The show explicitly dealt with this, repeatedly, over later seasons, asking all of the characters the big questions: is this what you would choose for yourself? What WOULD you choose for yourself if you could?

And then they made the narrative of the final season, of the final Big Bad, the fact that they had NEVER had real freedom, and that their entire lives (and the entire history of not only this universe but every parallel universe) had been Chuck’s Puppet Theater, and true free will had been a lie all this time. Pushing all of the characters to confront their own choices and understand what about who they were as people was separate from what Chuck pushed them into choosing and doing all these years. The main thing that Dean (and also Cas, and to the extent she was included in the narrative this was Eileen’s issue as well) were being pushed to come to terms with what really was real, and were their feelings and choices their own or imposed on them for the furtherance of Chuck’s story.

At the end of the road, finally free and out from under Chuck’s control, they knew what was real. For Sam and Eileen, they had chosen each other. Cas had chosen Dean, but Dean hadn’t yet had a chance to reply, but anyone with two eyes and a brain knows what he would’ve said in return. It’s what Cas stopped him from saying even back in Purgatory in 15.09. And yet, for some reason Sam and Dean forgot all of that, as if none of it had ever even really happened at all, and we went right back to who they were right after they finally defeated the YED, before we even knew Azazel had a name, let alone the fact that the ultimate boogeyman of their entire lives to that point had been nothing more than a fanatic pawn in a much larger destiny for both of them.

The end of s2 was the last time Dean sacrificing himself so Sam could have a normal life, where Dean really felt there was nothing more for himself than fulfilling his father’s orders to save Sammy, even feels remotely plausible. It’s the last time we can feel like Dean might find peace and contentment in a Heaven where John is nearby to be proud of him, and where Dean would actually feel like that validation was even relevant to his own life.

And that finally brings me back to s2, where that was actually addressed through John’s self-sacrifice to save Dean, to serve Dean up to the narrative and provide a stage for this self-transformative journey INTO being a version of John himself. Only... Dean DOESN’T choose that. He fights to save Sam at all costs, even when it seems clear that the right answer would probably be to KILL Sam instead. When not only the ghost of John Winchester plaguing Dean’s mind would make him doubt his own drive to save his brother, but the John Winchester Insert Character of s2-- Gordon Walker-- basically put Dean’s own doubts out there in plain words in 2.10:

GORDON: I'm surprised at you, Dean. Getting all emotional. I'd heard you were more of a professional than this. Look, let's say you were cruising around in that car of yours and, uh, you had little Hitler riding shotgun, right? Back when he was just some goofy, crappy artist. But you knew what he was going to turn into someday. You'd take him out, no questions, am I right?

DEAN: That's not Sam.

GORDON: Yes it is. You just can't see it yet. Dean, it's his destiny. Look, I'm sympathetic. He's your brother, you love the guy. This has got to hurt like hell for you. But here's the thing. It would wreck him. But your dad? If it really came right down to it, he would have had the stones to do the right thing here. But you're telling me you're not the man he is?

This, the episode where Dean finally confesses John’s final orders to Sam, where Dean has decided that saving Sam is all that matters, even when circumstance and everyone else is practically screaming at him that this could all be over if only he gave in-- be it his own self-sacrifice OR killing Sam. Six of one, half a dozen of the other, the universe doesn’t care (and neither does Chuck... especially at this point... and the proof of that is Sam’s s15 nightmares where one of Chuck’s alternate universe endings for Sam and Dean was Sam actually going Darkside on demon blood and killing Dean... any iteration of the old drama, Chuck has explored all potential endings-- oh, except the ending where TFW gets to just be happy and live... that’s the one ending they never get and the only one they deserved in the end).

also from 2.10... loads of chat about “destiny” and one of Dean’s first “we should just lay all this shit down and take a vacation” moments when he suggests they go to Amsterdam and enjoy some of the not-coffee-coffee-shops, which Sam counters by doubling down on the fact that Dean has a destiny in all this as much as Sam does:

SAM: Well, come on, dude, you're a hunter. I mean, it's what you were meant to do.

DEAN: Ah, I wasn't meant to do anything, I don't believe in that destiny crap.

SAM: You mean you don't believe in my destiny.

DEAN: Yeah, whatever.

SAM: Look, Dean, I've tried running before. I mean, I ran all the way to California and look what happened. You can't run from this. And you can't protect me.

DEAN: I can try.

And that’s it, right there. This is the “neither of you can try for a normal life outside of the other while the other is still alive.” This is Sam pinning a destiny to Dean that’s just as inescapable within Chuck’s narrative as Sam’s demon blood and psychic powers. 

This is the core essence of Chuck’s story about them. The sibling dynamic that Chuck failed to free himself from, and that Sam and Dean failed to free themselves from after Chuck’s demise in 15.19.

Destiny. One must die so the other can live.

And considering the next 13 seasons of the show and the long and emotionally grueling character arcs Sam and Dean proceed through where they truly confront the core of who they are as people-- as individuals outside of their duty and destiny-- the finale ceases to make any sense outside of Chuck’s narrative for them. If 15.20 really happened exactly as we saw it on screen, then Chuck still won.

And they had to loop Sam and Dean all the way back to where they were emotionally at the end of s2 in order to make it seem plausible. Which, for those of us who actually care about what they endured after s2, makes the finale entirely implausible as a whole.

[enha-woodzies]

➸ CHAPTER 7 | " A BREW GONE ASKEW "

starring: enhypen ft. i-land daniel

pairing: jungwon x fem!reader x sunghoon

genres: royal au, romance, angst, slowburn, 18th century setting

word count: 1.7k

warnings: mentions of blood, very mild swearing

taglist: @serendipitysung (betareader) @angeljungwon @en-sun @affectionaterainoflove @renkiv @softforjungwoo @jislix @gyeraniee @fluffi @stxrryemxlys @jungwon-luv-bot

[ PREV. CHAPTER ] | [ M. LIST ] | [ NEXT CHAPTER ]

A week has passed since the favored pair passionately promenaded around town. They’ve always looked very fond of each other, and the ton can only imagine the two tying the knot by the end of the year.

Only a week in but Sunghoon was already finding it hard to keep himself away from Y/n’s side. From their long, humorous talks, to past secrecies, bliss, and memories, Sunghoon isn't always a big talker. But when it comes to the young miss, he blurts out almost anything and everything that comes to mind, and the lass would happily enjoy them; so much that she even laughed with a snort once, to which Sunghoon found really adorable and charming.

Sunghoon told her she was magnetic, and the girl helplessly clung herself to the marquess like an ornament.They've shared a lot of stories with each other in the course of a week. And in every topic, Jungwon never ceases to be mentioned. Y/n almost always connects everything with the boy, and Sunghoon can clearly see how Y/n’s got it so bad with Jungwon.

He told himself that he was going to change that.

Today, it was said they were seen traipsing around the Swan’s Lake一 a cradle for the tons banal scandals. Further ahead, the Queen’s garden can already be seen just by the tip of the tiny greenhouse that’s solely standing amidst the wildflowers. Sunghoon leads the way for the young miss to enter first.

“See that? The garden admires you.” Sunghoon whispers against her ears and send tingles through her entire body.

“This is amazing. I’ve only ever been here once, you know. It’s actually one of my favorite places here in Northumberland.” The young miss exclaims while softly touching the brightly colored flowers in each step she takes.

“Was the first visit special enough to make this one of your adored places?”

“Yeah.. I was with Jungwon.” She mutters the name under her breath with a look of regret.

“What was the reason he brought you here?”

“We were nine. He said he wanted to show me something that only this garden can offer.”

“Let me guess. Was it a ring made of twigs and he played pretend like he was proposing to you?” Y/n chuckles at the marquess. Though she wouldn't admit it, she finds Sunghoon very ideal and gentle.

Could it be that she wishes Jungwon to be more like him? Or is she just telling herself that Sunghoon’s perfect enough to bury down her dying feelings for Jungwon?

“That’s cute but unfortunately, that's not what happened. He showed me the Catalpa tree and gave me its flower. He said it reminds him so much of me and that I should tuck the flower in my favorite book to remind myself that he thinks of me often.”

“Ahh. Quite the romantic our little Jungwon here, eh?”

Y/n looks down to the ground remembering the dead Catalpa flower that was tucked between Jungwon’s Austen book; the book that was now back in the comfort of its owner after she threw it in the Kielder Forest. 

“Once upon a time, yes.”

Sunghoon quickly picked up the mood and snapped it away. Seeing how Jungwon made this hole in her heart annoyed him to the extent he realized he had been living in hypocrisy as well.

He oddly sees himself in Jungwon, although in his case, it was much different. Jungwon never had any rivals when it comes to Y/n’s heart. Whereas with him, he had Niki, who wasn't even a bad guy in a story that Sunghoon tried so hard to own.

“Did you know that there's a poison garden here?” He breaks the silence.

“A what now?”

“A poison garden. The Queen’s very particular with it. Although it's off-limits to everyone except the royal gardener, anyone can still have a peek at it. I bet Jungwon never told you that.”

“He didn't.”

“Of course. Your chap doesn't alway know things, Y/n. You sometimes think so highly of him.”

The young miss kept her mouth shut the whole walk to the poison garden’s entry. They decided to take a brief peek, as per Sunghoon’s wishes, and she went along. It's not an everyday occurrence that you get to see a real and existing poison garden in Northumberland's Alnwick Castle.

“Sunghoon? Until when are we going to keep up with this whole ruse?” She softly whispers.

“Well, Jungwon hasn't told you anything worthy yet, has he?”

“The other day, he uhh… he told me to stop seeing you.”

“Why do you suppose he would say such thing?”

“I don't know. Must be something that happened between you and my brother?” she stopped shortly.

“What happened, Sunghoon? How come they all know about it and act like it was so horrid, yet keep it very subtle?” Sunghoon clicks his tongue and hisses before letting out a deep exhale.

“It's all in the past now. Even Niki. Though, I want to start fresh with him, but he doesn't seem to give me any chance at even trying.”

“What happened?”

“I don't think your brothers would want you to hear it. I respect Jay the most, and I owe Niki a whole lot. Or even if they do, I won't tell you anyway.”

“Was it… that bad?” Sunghoon fakes a chuckle while sitting on the nearby cemented bench. Y/n reaches out to hold his hand and the gent softly grips her fingers while brushing it with his thumb, locking hands with her in the process.

Sunghoon wanted to let everything out. But he fears the young beau would distance herself. If he were to be honest, there's nothing for him from this ruse they plotted. It was just to help the poor miss and satisfy himself with the look of envy upon Jungwon's face. He has nothing against the chap, but he may just simply be a schadenfreude.

The following day, Jungwon received a personal letter from the soon-to-be-duke himself. The moment he read the contents, he hastily dashed from his house and onto his horse, galloping in a speed of light to the Kielder Forest.

It is peak afternoon and the golden sun hit the forest perfectly, making it look like the two men are bathing under the immaculate bliss. Picture perfect as it may look, they didn't meet there to dawdle time away.

“Your Grace.” Jungwon bows to which Sunghoon returns in the aftermath.

“Why did you summon me here?” Jungwon glints at the marquess with a scorn. As much as he wants to showcase his manners, it didn't seem like the time and place to do it.

“Let's cut the formalities from here on out, Jungwon. Who do you think you are to give orders to Y/n? You know, the more you convince her to stop seeing me, the faster she runs to my tail. You're just doing me a favor to be very honest, and I am so pleased for this wonderful opportunity. You don't have the slightest idea of what convenience you are to me right now.” Sunghoon mockingly exclaims with both hands holding together like a child in prayer.

Jungwon aggressively walks towards the marquess and grabs his cravat with both hands. “You pompous blowhard! What are you doing with her?!” Jungwon grunts while shoving Sunghoon against the tree. With a stern look upon his eyes, the marquess suddenly finds the situation very amusing. He smirks and chuckles before pushing Jungwon's hands from the tight grip on his clothing.

“Are you talking about yourself? Take it easy, Yang. I don't think you're hearing yourself right now. Shouldn't I be the one asking you that?” Sunghoon lets out a laugh that makes Jungwon even more furious. It was his plan, after all.

“You haven’t had enough of triggering Niki, and now you're using his sister?! You're a big mess, Sunghoon! Admit it! You couldn't have Yena all to yourself with Niki around, so you're tainting Y/n to get revenge on the both of us?! You’re a lost cause!”

“Am I? A lost cause, eh? You're plainly calling yourself out, don't you think? All these years of having the most beautiful lady in Northumberland at the palm of your hands, yet you're too much of a dimbo to even hold onto her. And besides, it's like hitting two birds with one stone, yeah? You and Niki?”

Sunghoon mockingly laughs at Jungwon's fuming face and before he even realized it, his glorious face landed on the cold ground with an angry clobber from the chap. Jungwon straddles him and continues punching him while sitting on top of the fallen boy.

In a swift response, Sunghoon pulls Jungwon by the collar and pushes him aggressively to the side. While landing several punches on Jungwon's face, the marquess spits out blood in the process.

“Enough!” Sunghoon sternly yells at the former who is now bending over his knees, huffing out exhales with a fast beating heart.

“Stop this stupidity you're doing with Y/n! You're no good for her, Yang, and you know that! Can't you see? You're just wasting her time when she could've been married last season already!”

“Don't fucking tell me what to do, ugly bastard!” Jungwon hisses with gritted teeth, mustering up his anger to give the marquess another blow of his fist.

“Stain my face with more blood, Yang, and you’ll have to kiss your princess goodbye. Mark my words, you will never have Y/n. Not even a useless moment with her.”

“Niki! Niki! Niki!”

Daniel runs inside the Park manor with such haste, unknowingly bumping the mansion’s servants along the way. “Nishimura Riki!” The boy helplessly cries out to the latter, who apparently seems to be very preoccupied in the garden, impulsively firing the target on the branch.

“What?!” Niki yells back.

“I have big news to tell you!”

“If it’s about Sunghoon then shut your mouth ‘cause I have no intentions of hearing it. Sister will get tired of him soon enough, so I’m not worried. I trust Y/n’s wit to deliver her from that traitor.”

“But this is about Y/n and it's something that you should be worried about!” Niki swiftly turns his head to the boy bearing no more second thoughts as he throws away the blunderbuss and rushes to Daniel, “what happened to sister?!”

“She made a deal with the devil himself.”

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ㅡ © ENHA-WOODZIES, 2021

[kristalpepsi]

Temptation Stairway Thoughts™ + Theory Discussion

TW: blood + Death mentions, Implied (forced/pushed) integration (systems), racism (against asians), unreality stuff bc the show is Like That, Trauma causd by therapy

TL;DR = I mainly talk about implied integration, n as some1 in a system tht! mkes me uncomfy! I mainly will talk abt wht I’m calling the multi-ena theory (n anothr theory ill call the Multiple/Multi-Enaverse Theory) thts been popping up n disccng how thts kind of the bggst thng keepng me on board! I won’t LIE I might b a little biased bc I rlly do like thise show b I am NOT blind so I will try 2 address som things. I also talk alot abt the Shepard n Phindol bc I love themb so much they make me very heart Big.

DISCLAIMERS:

Obviously Joel G Highkey/definitely/most probbly did not intend 4 any of thise, but media is very complic8d so u cn end up accidntlly making problmtc things or implyng not great things

I hav a typing quirkkkk so if u cant understand my post I rlly dont blame u! I’m sorry how I type is Incomprehensible™

Not an angry post, more like my brain is holding me host-ge until i talk abt everyth dskfjhd!!

DO NOT Send anyone in thise post hate or angry asks/messages or perish by my sword

OK so this recnt episde has me w vry vry mixd feelngs!!! I’m both happy n exctd! b litrlly 2 things is whts bothrng me. While I CLD jst say :I Am Lookng Away: i rlly do need 2 write it down. Under a Read-more bc im secure SKSJ

Part 0: I’m uncomfortable help

The Section wher i tlk abt n bring up othr ppl’s concerns

So fr most if nt all the frnds I hav who also wtch Ena ALSO has a vry “vr vry mixd feelngs now tht I’ve seen the episde!!” mood twrds Temptation Stairway! It’s 4 a bunch of rsns, like thise post (tw racism) mde by a frnd whch brings up a good point

Part 1: The Actual Intro

Episode 1 = Auction day (AD) Episode 2 = Extinction Party (EP) Episode 3 = Tempation Stairway (TS)

Who is Ena

Ena can b describd as an "abstract girl split in half, w 1 blue side n the other is her yellow side!" Each side (emotion/mood, 2 b specific) seems 2 hav their own voic actor credited along with seper8 credits 4 each mood! So far the canon sides r Ena (happy), Ena (sad), n Ena (drunk)! They seem 2 act accordingly: Happy acts happy n optimistc, Sad acts sad n especlly depressd, n Drunk acts confused n dizzy [In the Credits, it would look like thise: Ena (happy) by Gabe V., Ena (sad) by Lizzie Freeman, (drunk) Ena by Sam Meza

4 Episodes 1-2, thy follow thise pattern exctly! So we cn expect wht 2 see from them, n each voice actor is creditd accordngly as seper8 b all a part of Ena

On epside 3, Ena is seen as actng diffrnt!! She's suddnly less predictabl! I say thise bc Suddenly, her voic Actors r not stuck 2 Only their sides. Thise is also emphasized when looking at the credit list! No longer is it "Ena (happy) by Gabe V., Ena (sad) by Lizzie Freeman" it's now jst "ENA by Gabe V. and Lizzie Freeman"

Happy's voic can sound STRESSED n sad, Happy can tlk w Blue's side in mor control n Sad's voic can sound Really happy n optimistic. Somth's Diffrnt n Not The Same

Temptation Stairway Summary

Skipping 2 my point, The summary of the episode Temptation stairway is tht Moony and Ena have a bet 2 race 2 the Great Runas! The Great Runas, can grnt u any wish accordng 2 Moony n som of those Ena passes by on the wy. The wager, is tht "whoever reaches the top of the Great Runas n makes their wish 1st, has 2 pay the debts of the loser" (yes it’s phrased like that) As Ena journeys thru, The DIFFERENCES between Ena Temptation Stairway and Ena Extinction Party n Below, is mor obvious as the epsde progrsses, even 2 wher Happy's voic actor is the 1 screamng in agony 2 jst get murdered already. The Episode ends w Moony beatng Ena (but it's 100% possibl it can be the other way arnd, that ENA Beat Moony, b thats somth I'll discuss in a bit L8r). Moony splits in half, revealing that according 2 her, "she wished 2 be skinny" n a humanoid coms out of her previous form. As 4 Ena, Her blue side slowly dispprs n its not answrd why.

Theories so far, are:

Moony wished 4 Ena 2 b happy (or 4 her sad/blu side 2 go awy. 4 wht reason can b eithr wholsom or 2 Moony's advntge [like so she "doesnt have 2 deal w Sad Ena"]) - b if Moony wished 4 Ena 2 b happy/b rid of her sad side, tht wld mean perhaps she lied about wishing 2 be skinny (her new humanoid form may be how she is "paying her debt 2 the loser"). Unless the Runas can grant u more than 1 wish.

Ena ws the 1 who wished her blu side awy, whch is a little depressng tbh

If both the above r tru, it may b possibl bc it wsnt clarified (afaik) tht the great runas can only grant ONE person a wish (or more). I think we only get tht implica8ion bc we see 1 (open) door while in the distance, ther r more doors tht look like their eyes r closed. We hav 2 remembr Moony said "whoever makes their wish 1st whch means Ena n Moony can totlly mke wishes @ the sme time

Somhow, turning pure yellow/only happy is how Moony is payng her debt 2 Ena(??) (opposite 2 the 1st theory)

OR If Ena won the race, it can even b possibl 2 consider tht Ena did not make ANY wish, n her debt 2 pay 2 Moony is her sad/blue side removed (I do not subscribe 2 thise) 

This info that was brought up 2 me is high evidenc that Moony won the race, n it explains how Moony surprises Ena whn Ena arrives. “I’m The Best and you’re the worst! I wonder who got the hair chest?” said by Ena, is a direct reference 2 a phrase usd by kids when they lose that goes “First is the worst, second is the best, third is the one with the hairy chest.”

“Whoever reaches the top of the Great Runas n makes their wish 1st, has 2 pay the debts of the loser.“ Might be phrased tht way as a weird way 2 pay 4 ur greed? (Last minute addition from me since some people wld think this is quoted wrong in and outside of the youtube comments)

i'm p sure ther may even b mor theories b i dont rmmbr them OOPS

Part 2: The Implied Integration Part AKA: How the System!Ena theory is affected by this episode

TW: Final fusion discussion, medical trauma (Is that the right word)

Disclaimer: This is 100% unintended by Joel G. That’s y the Alternative title 2 thise part is “How the System!Ena theory is affected by this episode”

2 GET IN2 the whole Implied Integr8ion part of my Essay™ I hav a theory calld system ena or sys!ena! (Check out my #system ena tag. This is in chronologicl order!) While thers no canon explan8ion 4 how Ena herslf is how she is, she mkes very intrstng n almst good accdntl Sys Represent8ion 2 me! They even show cofronting rlly well! I headcanon Ena as a system bc of the accidentl system!rep, but it explains 2 me y n how she switches! she has triggers 4 when she switchs 2 a diffrnt side, etc!

Ther hav been theories about Temptation Stairway in the past (before the episode cme out) wher ppl try 2 explain y the trailer Looks Like Tht. Besides theorizing abt the introduction of a new forme (I'm ok w just calling it Scared/Anxiety 4 now until 4rthr notic), 1 of the theories ive seen is tht Temptation Stairway's new introduced forme is due 2 being something akin 2 being "integr8d" (probably by force, accordin 2 the OP) (in other words, all her sides merge in2 one) n Ena being devast8td abt it

While tht theory is now DEBUNKED, bc the new forme clearly did not come out bc of being One Single Mind now, the "integr8ion" part of tht theory is unfortun8ly a littl tru

What is Integr8ion?

Integr8ion is not inherently a bad thing. In systems, ther are 2 definitions: "the breaking down of barriers 2 form healthy multiplicity, n then healthy communic8ion n less amnesiac barriers" and the othr, n mor FAMOUS definition bc its the oldest 1, is "final fusion"

Fnal Fusion is when all the members "fuse/merge" 2gether until ther is 1 single mind left. While not necssrlly a bad thng, final fusion n ther4 "integr8ion" is a scry thing 4 a lot of systems 2 talk abt, because in the history of Treatment, Final fusion is uslly somthng forcd on2 systems 4 the longest time :^(

Very valid 2 hav final fusion as a goal, b showng it as a desire n end goal is uslly seen as a sad n even scry thing 2 promote accdntly or not in media, bc of the previous traumas in the medicl/therapy world of system treatment etc

What's Worse. is tht if we apply the Ending 2 Temptation Stairway to the System!Ena Theory, thts wht hurts!!!

Scrolling back up 2 the possibl theories of who won the race and wht happened aftr, Either Moony or Ena wishing 4 the blue side/Sad Ena 2 go awy is rlly painful!

B I'll be honest, thts a RLLY biased n personal opinion i hav!! I've seen ppl think its rlly wholsom altho a bit Sad, tht the blue side disappears. I've seen ppl think its rlly sweet esp if it was Moony who mde tht wish

BSCLLY If I were to hold on2 the System!Ena headcanon while watchng the Temptation Stairway episode, its Hurtful, not rlly bc of the implied Integr8ion of Sides, but bc most top theories r that the blue side disappeard on Purpose either from Moony or Ena wishing her away or involvng the debt! It's like asking 4 ur sibling irl 2 Disappear and cease 2 exist. it's scary n rlly sad esp whn the audienc can c tht Sad, Happy, n Drunk cn almst b seen as their own persons n mite even b abl 2 interact w each othr (as seen by the many fanart of Happy n Sad having their own seper8 forms)

  Ok so Now tht ive described my intro n Main Beef w the Episode, here's a theory I cn rlly get behind tht dsnt mke me wnna cry behind a Denny's. Prsnlly it's a rlly relievng theory even if it mite b hard 2 take in

Ther's no name 4 it, som call it the Enaverse, b just so it dsnt get confusd w other definitions (like, u wldnt call it the Marvel Cinematic Universe theory, the MCU is jst wht it is) I'm gnna call it the Multi-Ena theory! Bsclly, there's mor than 1 Ena in thise universe. But I'll get in2 a sub/partner theory tht is also possibl: ther is mor than 1 enaverse n somhow u may or may not b abl 2 travel between them

Part 3: The Multi-Ena theory

Something interesting I noticed was that the shepherds says “another ENA troublemaker?” Which definitely means more than one ENA/person has been there before.

(I blockd out the rest of the commnt not bc it ws bad, b i wantd 2 focus on this part of the commnt, but thise commnt will come up again L8r)

Not connected 2 System!Ena or the integr8ion issue I mentioned earlier, the multi-ena theory seems 2 b 1 of the top suggstd theories bc of many thngs! Bsclly n in short, thise theory believs tht in the series (or Enaverse), ther is multipl ena's! So fr i havent seen a post tht RLLY went in2 depth on thise so here is my attempt!

Evidence:

(See: above explanation on how the voic actors r credited 4 their roles individlly 2 explain my system!ena theory/intro) In episodes 1-2, Ena's diffrnt emotions/sides r creditd individually! In Temptation Stairway, Gabe n Lizzie Freeman r all creditd undr the sme nme, just as "Ena" (mening thise is a completely different Ena from the past)

Again, as said in my summry 4 Tempt8ion Stairway, thise Ena acts compltly diffrnt n is not follwng the sme "pattern" or rules as Ena did in Episodes 1-2! (Read above in my summary section) Either ther r stuff we've missd between Extinction Party n Temptation Stairway, or thise is a diffrnt Ena entirely.  I'd hav 2 sy prsnlly tht I'm leanng 2wrds the latter bc of how the VA's are crdtd. but if ur not convinced, let me continu:

When we meet the Shepard in 7:52 of the episode, they say (verbatim) "Arghh... Another ENA trouble maker." which implies there r more than 1 Ena's

9:08 - 9:19 when Ena jumps in2 the "Holy Code" where we head undrwtr in2 a sea of diffrnt doors, we see floating Ena models (n the comment section seems 2 gravit8 2 callng them "dead bodies") (Honorary mention: You'll notic they glitch in2 Mannequins if u pay attention 2 them). This piec of info is Direct Evidence 2 the multi-ena theory, bc ther r Explicitly mor thn 1 ena's on screen! wht's concernng n unanswrd tho, is y do they glitch in2 mannequins? Does tht mean all the mannequins we sw on screen in the begnng of the video (n onwards) were all previously an Ena? Is it only an Ena tht can transform in2 a mannequin or cn othr chrctrs also become mannequins?

Not the strongst evidenc b i'll input it anywy: Ena's Action boxes (Like when she receivs or gives items) spell her nme her as ƎNA (with a backwrds E). The thing abt thise 1 is tht we can't compare it with Auction Day n Extinction Part bc they don't have any action boxes. BUT What we CAN compare is how she is spelled in the dialogue boxes of those speakng in diffrnt languages AND in the Credits! In Episodes 1-2, She's Spelled as Ena with this captialis8ion. In Temptation Stairway the dialogue and credits consitntly spell her as ENA in all caps. May or may not allude 2 her being diffrnt, b i will admit this is the most Strechiest piec of evidnc. Tru or not, I'd like 2 refer 2 Tempt8ion Stairway ena as TS!Ena or ƎNA, prsnlly 2 differenti8 her frm the othr episodes

Pronounci8ion: BUT 2 build on the above evidence, In the beginning of the episode, Moony DOES pronounc Ena's name in different wys a lot, startng w I-NA (ai-na), ENA (ehna), n finally JENA. And this isnt new! She’s been doing it sinc Auction Day (ee-nah/ii-na) n Extinction Party (ay-nah). Thise may or my not sggst that perhaps Moony's inconsistancy is bc these othr pronunci8ions or names cld b of other ena's she's met in the past w similr or diffrnt preferences! I’d say because of her constant switchng in the beginning of Temptation Stairway, it would lean 2wards that she may know different Ena’s @ once. Otherwise, c the Multi-Enaverse theory below

Note: Every othr charctr besides Moony (So far; Merci and the Shepard) Pronounces Ena as ehna (or ehna) so it might be that perhaps Eh-na is the universal way of pronouncng Ena?

Conlusions/thghts on this theory: I prsnlly like thise a lot!! It makes Enasonas Very Possible, b also tht any interpret8ion of Ena cn b corrct or possibl! It knda saddens me tho bc im not rlly sure if we'll ever return 2 the Ena we're used 2, I wldnt rlly want 2 b stuck w/o Sad bc I thnk her role is rlly neat n can b importnt, b im biasd. I also rlly subscribe 2 thise theory bc it means whtvr happend 2 TS!Ena ds not hav 2 be permanent in the long run; Again litrlly the only thng keepng me from gettng supr upset abt the ending of Temptation Stairway, is tht the prev ena’s r not the sme n wld possibly not do thise, or tht ther r othr ena’s out ther besides THISE episod 1, who wld nvr do tht, etc

Part 4: The Multiple Enaverses/Multi-Enaverse Theory AKA The Alternative In Defense of Moony Mispronouncing Ena’s name over and over

An alterntve 2 the Multi-Ena theory, is tht there is MORE thn 1 Enaverse! So bsclly, a multiverse theory. Primarily thise my explain Not jst Ena's sudden Shift in how diffrnt she is in thise episode b may also explain how Diffrnt Moony is actng in thise episode 2. While thise isnt the top theory i prsnlly subscribe 2 (sinc ther isnt explicit evidence besides it bein an explan8ion 4 Moony n Ena's weird/diffrnt behavior), it DOES open a lot of doors 2 intrstng things 2 thnk abt!

Bsclly Moony keeps mispronouncing Ena’s name a lot (in Tempation Stairway) n its Really Rude, esp consdrng she’s always said it properly (As in @ least 1nce in an episode n not switchng multiple times) b4! so 2 Explain her Sudden change in behavior, this is actlly a Different Moony, besides a different Ena. this is a whole different universe/timeline!

LIKE If not multiple Ena's, The different Loca8ions in Ena cn probbly b traversible across dimensions! The Holy Code may b the door 2 diffrnt enaverses. The Shepard's garden cld b an interdimensionl place tht is singular n deals w diffrnt beings passing thru! While i dnt hav mch 2 sy on thise, its RLLY Interestng 2 thnk abt

Like the Multi-Ena theory, thise also opens the doors 2 enasonas being vry possibl :^) Som ppl's evidences r all involvng Moony besides how Ena's rlly diffrnt

Moony can skateboard??

Moony's square shape hole can shrink 2 hold an item

while not strong ATM or frm wht i cn see, its still very inch restng!!! Tho I would sy it is VERY on par w the Multi-Ena theory anyway

Part 5: Honorary Mentions: Mini Theories

The Great Runas is actlly a play on the "Run As" Command! I'm not very Smart engh 2 break thise down vry well, b bsclly w all the allusion 2 "codes" n the Blood ID looking like a Chip, The Great Runas being abl 2 grant u wishes makes a lot of sense! This ws brought up 2 me from a friend (@ambercard​)!

like its a command line. so then the great runas being able to grant wishes makes sense if its digital world like all the code stuff says Allows a user to run specific tools and programs with different permissions than the user's current logon provides.

Runas is a command-line tool that is built into Windows Vista. To use runas at the command line, open a command prompt, type runas with the appropriate parameters, and then press ENTER.

In the user interface for Windows Vista, the Run as… command has been changed to Run as administrator. However, you should rarely have to use the Run as administrator command because Windows Vista will automatically prompt you for an administrator password when it is needed.

and my friend who i was talking to said that probably explains what the password was for and the blood id being a login or something?

its possible using the blood id akin to using the run as administrator command since idk their name but one of the people ena met said the blood id didnt seem like her which is like. if she isnt administrator then it would make sense that using that command wouldnt match who she is

My response:

man do u realiz Ena uslly does not hav the corrct passwrd/admin privileges all the tme? Bc the guardian entity in extinction party askd her 4 1 b i guess it ws so Low Game tht it wsnt supr necsrry in the end

The Enaverse is all a computer code of some sort- most probbaly a game! AKA: This is a digital world

... If we were too treat this world as a video game this would make more sense since different play through bus and all that. Oh god this feels like a fnaf situation, taking a video that just wants to be a video and turning it into a big serious thing

Going with the whole ‘there are multiple enas representing the player’ theory, perhaps this ENA realized that she’s in a video game and isn’t taking it too well? But the game is kind of glitching out because of it.

Honorable Mentions: Random Info + Unanswered Questions

Ena seems self-aware of smth! (10:24 Ena screams "YOU'RE ALL LIVING A LIE!") May help the Run as command idea n the video game/digital reality idea! If not a video gme, they sure r Somewhere

What does the Great Runas look like?? is it the door? is ther mor thn 1 Runas?

What is Mariya n Gabo's Job? R they just like the Guardian Entity in Extinction Party but are assignd 2 this part/location of where they are?

In 6:30, wht does Ulysses mean by "Desires r never fulfilled nor quenched"? "You Will fail like the rest of them" Is he referring 2 the other Ena's that's passed by? who else have come n failed?

This Post Also brings up som good points I hvnt noticd yet!

Thise comment pretty much says everythng:

Standout things from this animation:

-This Ena switches between a male & female voice at seemingly random instead Happy speaking with a male voice and Sad speaking with a Sad voice. The text boxes noticeably refer to this Ena with a reversed E, and The Shepard says "Another Ena troublemaker", implying that there are multiple Enas. We also see some Ena corpses flickering into the mannequin bodies at one point. Third, at the end we see Ena's sad half turn from blue to yellow over the course of Ena & Moony's conversation. My personal theory is that this Ena is possibly 'broken' in some manner. -Moony either doesn't care or dosen't realize that Ena's voices aren't matching the personalities anymore. -The grey personality appears to come out when Ena gets too stressed out. Notably the transformation involves the happy half turning into static and exploding out, erasing Ena's face in the process. It also appears that some physical trauma (in this case, Brick Frog kicking Ena) is necessary to exit the grey personality, unlike the previously seen 'blackout' personalities which can possibly be switched by the other personality exerting themselves (in the auction episode, Ena enters her sad blackout/depressed personality, then switches to Happy!Ena, who apologizes to Moony about her depressed outburst). -Moony's hole is capable of closing to hold things, and she also knows how to skateboard. -Judging by Ena's reaction, Moony's transformation at the end is weird even by this universe's standards.

aaaand thats all 4 now! I really hope thats all my brain can think of skjsdhfsdfkh

Feel free 2 send me asks abt Ena theories n stuff! While this is a Comprehensiv post, it’s definitely mor focused on the Multi-Ena theory n my thghts on the episode whn it comes 2 how it affects the System Ena theory. I’m open 2 questions!!

Last Edit: Feb 19 2021 (GMT +8)

[ukulelecal]

Happy Checks (Dad!Ashton)

In which Kennedy has a happy check with Ashton.

warnings: kenny being a sad bub 

A/N: is this me projecting what i wish i had as a kid? yeah :) anyway. i probably got this idea from tiktok i doubt i actually came up with it lmao. but hey i haven’t written (wrote?? idk) in a hot minute so go me :))))

word count: 1.9k

dad!sos universe

Something that was extremely important to you and Ashton when you had children was that they trusted you. You wanted to create an environment for them that was safe, healthy, and open. You wanted your kids to be able to be honest with you and not be afraid to share their feelings with you.

Once your little Kennedy came along and her second birthday passed, Ashton came up with an idea. He called it “happy checks.” Once or twice a week, you or him would take Kenny into your bedroom and sit on the bed. That was a safe space for her to tell you or talk about anything she wanted; you couldn’t get angry and Kenny wouldn’t get in trouble. You would ask how she was feeling and if there was anything she wanted to talk about. She didn’t really get it at first, but as time went on, she started to grasp the concept.

It was working well; she was getting very good with being able to talk about her feelings and work through them, whether they were good or bad feelings. She was a very emotional toddler, and happy checks were really good for her. Sometimes it would be small things, like a movie she watched made her feel sad or seeing Duke at Uncle Calum’s house made her happy. Sometimes she would ask questions or not say much at all. No matter what it was, she could talk about it, and you or Ashton would be there to listen.

Not long after Kennedy turned two, the twins, Finley and Alex, came along. She was ecstatic. The thought of being a big sister was very exciting to her, and when they were finally born, she loved to hold them and tell them stories she made up. She always shared her toys with them, even when they didn’t know what to do with them, and always wanted them to watch her favorite movies with her.

Now, Kennedy’s third birthday and the twins’ first weren’t too far off. Another baby had been on yours and Ashton’s minds, but you wanted to wait until the twins were a little older like you did with Kenny so they could understand better.

One afternoon had you on nap duty with the twins, which tended to take a while. Kenny was with Ashton in his music room, quietly playing with her stuffed animals while Ashton strummed his guitar softly. Kenny loved being in there with him. She wasn’t always allowed to, since Ashton actually had to get work done sometimes, but when she was, it was almost therapeutic for her. Sometimes they would each do their own thing quietly while he simply kept an eye on her, other times Ashton would show her his instruments or play for her.

Ashton noticed Kennedy wasn’t herself that day. She had a slight pout on her lips, and her movements with her toys weren’t as energetic as they normally were. He didn’t say anything at first, wondering if she would come to him, but soon enough the look of sadness on her face was too much for him to bear.

“Kenny, sweetheart?” He asked softly as he set his guitar on it’s stand.

She looked up from her stuffed animals and Ashton crouched in front of her on the floor. He was good at appearing non threatening and caring, and he could tell Kenny could see that in him.

“You want to have a happy check?” He asked, making sure to keep his voice even and soothing. She nodded and reached her little arms out to be picked up.

Ashton lifted the girl into his arms, a hand rubbing over her back as he carried her upstairs to the bedroom. You caught a glimpse of them walking by the twins’ room as you worked on getting them changed and heard the bedroom door shut; you knew it was time for a happy check.

Ashton propped himself up against the headboard of the bed and let Kenny settle in his lap before he spoke up.

“How are you feeling right now, Kenny?” He asked gently, his hand never ceasing to rub her back, comforting her. He waited patiently for her answer as she thought about her words.

“I feel sad,” she finally mumbled. She fiddled with the ruffles on her skirt to distract herself, and he took it as a sign that this was something more than a sad scene in a Disney movie that upset her.

“It’s okay to feel sad, sweetheart,” he affirmed. Validating her feelings was something you and Ashton always made sure to do during happy checks. You didn’t want her to feel embarrassed about what she was feeling, or feel like she couldn’t express it. “Do you want to tell me why you feel sad?”

She took a minute to think about her words again, still twisting her skirt in her hands and not looking up at Ashton.

“Finny and Alex.”

Ashton’s eyebrows furrowed for a moment at her response, but he quickly neutralized his expression. He couldn’t imagine what Finley and Alex, her baby twin siblings less than a year old, had done to upset her, but this was a safe space. She was allowed to talk about whatever she wanted, and everything she was feeling was valid.

“Finley and Alex are making you feel sad?” She nodded. “Why is that?”

“I…” she trailed off and buried her head into Ashton’s chest with a whimper. He wasn’t sure if that was frustration about being unsure of how to put her feelings into words or being embarrassed to say it at all. Ashton dipped his head down to press a comforting kiss to her curls.

“It’s alright, sweetheart, take your time. Remember, this is your safe space. You can tell me anything you want.”

She went quiet again, taking her time to feel through her emotions and think about them, and Ashton gave her the grace to do so.

“I miss being with you and Mommy,” she explained, voice strained. She glanced up at Ashton, and his heart broke at her glassy eyes.

“What do you mean, sweetheart?” He coaxed gently, trying to piece together what she was saying. He wiped away the single tear that slipped down her cheek and planted another kiss on her head.

“I like it when Finny and Alex are with us,” she began, interrupted by a sniffle. “But sometimes I want it to be just me, you and Mommy.”

Ashton finally understood. As much as she loved the twins, she wanted some alone time with her parents like before they were born, and that was completely understandable. Keeping track of three kids was hard enough, but two of them being babies was even more difficult. Sometimes Finley and Alex needed more of yours and Ashton’s attention, and Kenny was clearly feeling a bit left out.

“I understand, sweetheart. You miss spending time with just me and Mommy, yeah?” He confirmed, earning a small nod in response as she leaned her head against his chest again. “That’s perfectly okay, Kenny. I know it was a big change when Finley and Alex arrived, and you do such a good job being a big sister. Since they’re so little, they need some extra help with things that you don’t need as much help with, right? That’s why sometimes they need a little more of Mommy and I’s attention. Do you understand that, Kenny?”

She nodded again, still sniffling a bit. Before Ashton could continue, the bedroom door cracked open, and you peaked your head in. You finally got both the twins to sleep, and you needed to pass through the bedroom.

“Am I interrupting?” You whispered, knowing they were talking.

“Would you like Mommy to come sit with us?” Ashton offered, and you heard a soft “yeah” from Kenny. You gently shut the door behind you and made your way to join your husband and daughter on the bed. Kenny reached her arms out to you as you sat down, and you gently lifted her from Ashton’s lap into yours.

“We’re having a happy check,” Ashton explained, wrapping one arm around your shoulders and reaching the other across to hold Kenny’s little hand. “Do you want to tell Mommy what you told me, sweetheart?”

Kenny repeated what she told Ashton, you taking over rubbing her back to comfort her. You couldn’t help but feel bad; she had been lonely and you didn’t notice.

“Oh, baby, Daddy and I never meant to make you feel sad,” you began, stealing what Ashton was about to explain before you came in. “Daddy and I love you just as much as we love your brother and sister. It’s okay to miss being alone with us, even though I know you love your siblings.”

“Mhm,” Kenny hummed. She took in your words and was starting to understand, and most importantly, she wasn’t ashamed of her feelings. Even if she didn’t quite understand now, you hoped that when she got older she would realize how beneficial being able to share her feelings is, and always feel she could trust her parents to talk about them.

“This weekend, how about we take Finley and Alex to one of your uncles’ house and the three of us can spend some time together? How does that sound, sweetheart?” Ashton suggested, offering a solution to her sadness. Her face lit up at the suggestion, nodding her head quickly.

“We get fries?” She asked, and you and Ashton chuckled. She was obsessed with French fries, and there was a specific diner that had her favorite ones.

“We can get fries, baby. We can do anything you want.”

She giggled in satisfaction. Ashton rubbed his thumb over the top of her hand and sent her a loving smile.

“Is there anything else you want to talk about?” He asked. She shook her head. “Alright. How are you feeling now?” At the end of every happy check, you always asked how she was feeling again so she could compare how she felt before and after.

“Happy,” she mumbled, curling further into your chest. “And sleepy.”

“I think it’s nap time for you, then, sweet girl,” you responded, starting to stand up from the bed. “Do you want to give Daddy a kiss before you go night night?”

Ashton lifted her into his arms and pressed multiple kisses to her cheeks. She laughed sleepily, giving a wet kiss to his cheek once he finished.

“I love you so much, sweetheart,” he mumbled. “Sweet dreams.”

“Love you, Daddy,” she yawned as Ashton passed her back to you.

You put her down for her nap before joining Ashton back in the bedroom. He had laid back down on the bed, clearly waiting for you.

“You think she’s okay?” You asked him as you rested your head on his chest. He nodded as he pulled you closer.

“I think so. These happy checks are really good for her, I think,” he mumbled. He glanced down at you with a tender smile. “You can come to me for happy checks too, you know.”

You chuckled and kissed the bottom of his jaw.

“I know. And you can have them with me, too.”

“I know.”

You fell into a comforting silence, both of you simply reflecting. You knew you were giving your children a happy household, and that was something you both took a lot of pride in.

[tinybibmpreg]

prompt fill 5/80, #18 - Looks like we’re going to be stuck here for a while. ft Percival and Isaacs.

Azathians: Reports

“Looks like we’re going to be stuck here for a while,” Percival noted, craning his neck to see the shipwide announcement over the screen but making sure his companion could still see him signing. He glanced back to see if the other man was responding, but all his appendages were still. Percival returned his attention to the screen, where it repeated its visual alert that the ship was on lockdown after coming into contact with some sort of flare. The ship’s shields had protected most of the ship, but certain parts like the engine vents had been exposed to radiation and other toxins. To prevent any of that from spreading, all the access doors had locked and vents shut.

Percival wasn’t a technician or pilot, so he wasn’t sure how badly the ship had been damaged or exposed. But their area, crew quarters, was labeled as an unexposed zone. Hazard teams were requested to go through protocol and make their way to damaged and toxic zones, while everyone else was to cease work and stay where they were unless ordered otherwise.

Since protocols were in place for emergencies like this, and communiques would be limited to visuals due to the lockdown, Percival knew that he wouldn’t be given any special orders to go work. He wouldn’t be needed as translator until after the damage had been repaired.

His companion, however… Percival looked towards him and found that he was staring at a smaller screen on the wall of his cubby. He couldn’t see what was on the screen, so he reached out and lightly touched his head. When his eyes on that side glowed and he shifted, Percival knew he had his attention and brought his hand back so he could sign, “Does the Captain need you, Isaacs?”

Though he was now worried that they wouldn’t be spending much time together, he still felt a little thrill as he did the special sign for Isaacs’ name that he’d come up with. Though he’d never be able to sign Isaacs’ real name, as he didn’t have the four tentacles needed to make the proper symbols of it, he felt very happy about coming up with something he thought best matched. When Isaacs signed his name, two of his slightly smaller ‘showing’ tentacles made a shape Percival thought looked like an eye, which he mimicked making a large eye shape with both arms crossed in front of his chest. Then, his two longer ‘front’ tentacles made zigzag lines going down and to the right. To mimic those, Percival used both hands at once and did a zigzag motion in the same direction.

The shape was how he’d come up with the name Isaacs for his lover. Though Isaacs couldn’t hear him, his species not having any ears and relying solely on touch and vision to communicate, Percival had still wanted a name to refer to him as even if only in his head. So, the eye shape became ‘I,’ and the two jagged lines became ‘zigs.’ He’d put them together and thought I-zigs sounded like Isaacs, and it was perfect.

Isaacs approved of his human version of signing his name, and though he couldn’t really judge what ‘Isaacs’ sounded like, he’d given his approval for that as well after feeling the vibrations of his throat as he said the name aloud.

“I am not needed. I am ordered to remain in place.”

Percival grinned under his filtration mask. “That’s great!”

One tentacle curled questioningly.

“We get to spend more time together. And no one will question it because we’re on lockdown.”

Isaacs’ body bobbed. “You are right.” A tentacle wrapped around Percival, and Isaacs moved closer to him. Percival nuzzled his forehead against him in a space between two eyes. As Isaacs settled down next to him, making sure his large spherical body didn’t shove into him within the small space of his ‘bed,’ Percival put a hand on the base of where one of Isaacs’ limbs connected to his head.

Before they could really relax with each other, the visual screen flashed again. This time, it had an order across it. All the ship crew was to report where they were. Isaacs gave an irritated shudder and moved back to his cubby’s screen. He pressed the end of one of his four shorter tentacles to it.

Percival sat up straight and quickly smoothed out his shirt and ran a hand through his hair. Isaacs also straightened up, looking professional as the screen loaded and a visage of the ship’s captain appeared.

“Captain. I obey,” Isaacs signed, putting the end of a long tentacle on his head, where his face would be if he had one.

The Captain, who Percival hadn’t come up with a verbal name for, acknowledged the sign of obedience by hovering the end of their own tentacle over the screen, which would normally be pressed against the tentacle over a subordinate’s face. “Manifest report.”

“I and Interpreter-1 are located in my quarters, First Officer’s cabin,” Isaacs informed the Captain.

The other alien didn’t look pleased. They stilled. Percival hoped that perhaps the video had just frozen, but knew that was just wishful thinking. The Captain hated when Percival was alone with any alien crew member and had wanted to restrict him from crew quarters or traveling through the ship without another human.

Percival wanted to put both hands over his belly, but he didn’t dare, not wanting to appear unprofessional in any way. He couldn’t give the Captain any clue as to who the parent of the babies he was expecting was. It would cost Isaacs his career if he was found out to be the one who had impregnated a human with two Azathian children. He’d be barred from serving on a ship with humans, and since all Azathian ships now employed humans as technicians, he’d be forced to return to the homeworld.

The Captain stepped back so Isaacs could see that they were asking a question. “Why is Interpreter-1 in your quarters?”

Isaacs lied smoothly, “I wanted Interpreter-1 to pass along a message to Terran-1, since Terran-1 and are I both off shift and I did not want to call Terran-1 out of the human quarters. Interpreter-1 was on the way to the human quarters and agreed to take the message.”

“What message?”

“The message was originally a desire to meet at first shift to discuss the duty rooster before Terran-1 started tasks for the day. That is now void.”

“Understood.” Then, another question. Their tentacles roiled in anger as they asked, “Why is Interpreter-1 in your nest cubby?”

Percival butted into the conversation as he realized just how bad it looked for him to be in the suspended ball of a bed, which Isaacs had to lift him into. Reaching out to let Isaacs know he wanted to speak, he shifted closer so the Captain would be able to see him properly. He touched his nose and dipped his head in apology to the Captain, and signed to them, “The First Officer offered to let me sit. I felt unwell.” Not a complete lie. Isaacs had known he was uncomfortable after a long shift going around the ship and insisted he come to his quarters to take a break and lie down in his cubby. He slept better there than his small bunk in the human crew quarters.

“If you were unwell, you should have gone to the infirmary.” The video didn’t have sound, but Percival was certain that if it had, he would have heard the Captain making a furious humming sound. None of the Azathians seemed to be aware they made that noise when they were angry and started shaking a bit. Though he used to find the sound hilarious, now that he was pregnant and in danger of causing his lover’s life to be ruined if their relationship was found out, he’d come to fear the sound from the Captain, who tended to work themself up into a fierce hum whenever they spoke lately.

“I just needed rest. The Doctor says I will feel unwell if I am not resting frequently enough, and I had not gotten enough today.” Percival wished he could say that he had just been standing too much and needed to get off of his feet for a while, but didn’t think he’d used that phrase around the Captain before, and they didn’t appear to be in the mood for an explanation of some odd human expression.

The screen flashed to get Isaacs’ attention. He put his tentacle back on his face.

“Look after Interpreter-1. Make sure Interpreter-1 gets rest.”

“Yes, Captain. I obey.”

With that, the Captain shut off the screen. Percival breathed a sigh of relief and finally put his hands on his belly. Isaacs sank down on a bit on his tentacles, his eyes dimming, also just as relieved.

Percival tapped Isaacs to get his attention. His eyes brightened with focus. “You heard the Captain. You have orders to make sure I get rest. And I think I can only rest if we return to what we were doing.”

After a pleased full-body bob, Isaacs was gliding back next to him, pressing against him with no regard for if his eyes were covered. Percival leaned back against the padded wall of the cubby and then against Isaacs. His lover put a tentacle around him in an embrace. With his others he pulled pillows closer to them, arranging them around Percival in the way he liked.

Settled at last, Percival hummed and pressed his forehead against a smooth spot on his lover’s head. Isaacs shifted and then brought a club to rest on top of Percival’s swollen belly. He placed it so gently, like he was worried he might hurt Percival if he wasn’t as careful as possible with him. Percival put his hand over Isaacs’ club and squeezed it. When the eye closest to his face glowed brighter, he wished he could smile at Isaacs. But his filtration mask covered all of his lower face and he couldn’t remove it outside of the human section of the ship, not when it was far more dangerous to him in his current condition.

Spurned on by the squeeze to his club, Isaacs brought another to Percival’s belly and began to rub it. Percival leaned his head back and closed his eyes, relaxing. He loved when Isaacs rubbed his belly. The soft, warm ends of his limbs felt far better than Percival’s own hands. It’d been strange and a bit frightening at first when his belly began to grow noticeably, but Isaacs being so affectionate to his bump had helped him feel better about the new change.

It was still rather frightening to Percival, being pregnant with two Azathian children. No human had ever been impregnated by one before, and the entire pregnancy was a huge risk. Azathians were supposed to group up and inject one or more Receivers, where the embryo injected would combine with another within the Receiver to mix genes, and then grow for over a year. Or, if the Receiver had no ready embryos, the injected ones would fuse with each other.

Since only the older Azathians chose to become Receivers, they had no problem with carrying two or more children, as they were very large and had plenty of room inside their spherical form.

Percival, however, was most certainly not an Azathian Receiver, and nowhere near the size of even the young adult Azathians. Humans weren’t built to carry for longer than nine months, and definitely not built to carry a baby the size of an Azathian, much less two at once. And the size and gestational length weren’t even the worst of the risk. Azathians breathed in a toxic atmosphere through their skin. Though the aliens easily tolerated the oxygen levels humans needed, exposure to the levels of toxin in the non-human sections of the ship would kill a human in about twenty minutes. Brief exposure would cause respiratory distress, then fatigue and weakness. Hence why all human crewmembers needed to wear heavy filtration masks in order to navigate through the majority of the ship, were required to keep the mask around their necks while awake, and had to keep them within arm’s reach while sleeping or showering.

And because the toxin was as necessary to Azathians as oxygen was to humans, Percival had to receive injections of it into his bloodstream and maintain a tolerable level of it for the babies. The level had increased in minuscule amounts every week and would continue until the babies were born. It scared him, the prospect of having to not only carry large alien babies but to do so while ill. The doctor had hope he would develop a tolerance for it but had stressed to him that he would always feel sick.

Being with Isaacs, however, made that fear wash away. No matter what happened, Isaacs would be there to support him, to help him. Percival knew he’d be able to get through his pregnancy, long enough for the babies to reach a safe age to be surgically removed, as long as he had Isaacs.

Percival sighed happily and leaned back. Repairs would take a long time, he didn’t need to spend it all deep in thought. He could just enjoy spending time alone with Isaacs without having to worry about anyone seeing them.

[villainousshakespeare]

Learning a Lesson Chapter 9

iLearning a Lesson Chapter 8

Part 1 Here, Part 2 Here, Part 3 Here, Part 4 Here, Part 5 Here, Part 6 Here, Part 7 Here, Part 8 Here

Young Actor Tom Hiddleston/OFC

Rated E -Smut, Angst, Complicated Relationship - Teacher/Actor Posing as Student, Feels, Flirting, Fluff, Oral Sex, Sex, Shower Sex, Threats, Breakups, Angst…

ANGST IN THIS CHAPTER! (but don’t worry… I’m a hopeless romantic)

Summary: It’s your first day as a teacher and things are going well. That is, until a tall, gorgeous boy with blond curls and dramatic ways saunters into your last class. When he ignores all the swooning girls to flirt outrageously with you, it is secretly thrilling. Even more so is when he tries to steal a kiss after class ends. How long will you be able to keep your defenses up?

Up and Coming actor Tom is under cover in high school for  research for a movie, but the pretty drama teacher is making the long assignment so much more enjoyable

@arch-venus25​, @caffiend-queen​ @ciaodarknessmyheart​ @frostbitten-written​ @just-the-hiddles​ @kellatron55​ @myoxisbroken​ @nonsensicalobsessions​ @poetic-fiasco​ @shiningloki​ @shae-annelore​ @thecutestlittlebunbunfairy​ @hiddlesholic​ @yespolkadotkitty​ @vodka-and-some-sass​ @wolfsmom1​ @tom-hlover​ @toozmanykids​ @delightfulheartdream​ @whyispistashanuttaken​ @hopelessromanticspoonie​; @loki-yoursaviourishere​ @is-it-madness​

The Monday morning walk to school was the longest of Emily's life. With every step she took she was tempted to turn around and run the other way, hiding under her blankets and weeping rather than going on. Only a deep seated stubborn streak kept her from giving in to her fears and doing just that.

She needn't have worried. Tom was true to his word. There was no sign of him to be found in school. No infectious laugh ringing through the hallway, no tousled halo of blond hair floating above the shorter students amidst a throng of admirers, and no ice blue eyes seeking hers for a secret wink or speaking glance.

Emily told herself it was for the best. She hoped she would eventually believe it.

The other god-send was that Jim Howard seemed to have called in sick. A substitute was in his classroom when she got there, and never had she been so glad to see the old woman than she was that day. She assumed that it was his pride that kept him from walking into the building with a black eye and a swollen jaw, and took evil delight in the fact that Tom had so thoroughly trounced him.

Tom. There he was again. She could not go five minutes without calling him to mind. It was going to be a long day. Hell, it was going to be a long forever as far as she knew. How long would it take to get over the golden boy who had so completely won her heart?

Half a day was how long it took for the news of his exit to hit the school grapevine. Emily began hearing his name whispered during her fourth period class. By the time that class ended and she made her way to the staff lounge it was all anyone was talking about. Ada, Janis, and Mike were gossiping about it when she came in, a pathetic lunch of coffee and a banana in her hand.

"Well, anyone with eyes could have seen that that boy should be a movie star," Janis was opining. "It doesn't surprise me one bit."

"Oh, come on Janis," Mike laughed, skepticism showing, "he was handsome, sure, but there's no way you saw this coming!"

"I'm not saying that," Janis sniffed. "Obviously I didn't know he was an actor. But if anyone in this school was destined for greatness it was Martinsson."

"Hiddleston," Mike corrected her. "Apparently that's his real name. You're awfully quiet, Emily. You were close with the boy, weren't you? Tutoring him after hours and all?"

"Not that close," she said with a half shrug. "He claimed to want help with an audition monologue, but that was obviously for show. We never actually worked on it. Just class."

The words were true enough as far they went, even if the meaning behind them was an all out lie.

"Still, he clearly preferred you," Ada said, giving her a probing look. "I heard all sorts of chatter about how he always flirted with you, volunteering to read romantic scenes with you. I was a little jealous, to tell the truth. I mean, and I can say it now that I know he's a genuine adult - what I wouldn't have given for a chance to sculpt a nude of that boy!"

"No wonder Howard hated him so much," Mike laughed good naturedly. "It seems it's not just the high school girls who had a thing for him."

Emily did her best to tune them out after that, and took to eating in her classroom. The days blended into each other, with no end of the day secret to make them stand out as special.

The kids in her drama class were all excited of course. The thought that they had read scenes with an honest to goodness actor, one who was going to be starring in a movie, made them practically giddy. Kate began recirculating the lie that the two of them had been involved, and no one dared to correct her. Emily was angry on his behalf, offended that anyone would believe he would fool around with a student, until she realized the implications of that thought.

It was that guilt that was the worst. Well, along with the loneliness. Even if he had been an adult, she hadn't known that. She had thought him no different than Kate or Zack or Jamie, and she had slept with him anyway. She deserved all the pain she was feeling. Deserved more than that; to loose her job and never be hired again, even. More and more she slipped into a depression.

It was nine days after she had thrown him out of her apartment and her life that the first letter arrived. She grabbed her mail from the small slot inside the door and rifled through it on the way up the stairs as she always did, expecting nothing more than bills and solicitations. When she turned over an envelope addressed in an instantly recognizable hand, she felt as though she had been punched in the gut. Hands shaking, she opened the seal, afraid that if she didn't do it at once she would never find the courage, and unfolded a letter.

"My Darling Emily," it began in Tom's loopy mess of long hand, "I know I have no right to write to you, having broken your trust in the most caddish way possible. I only hope that you will allow me the opportunity to once more take advantage of your goodness of heart and kindness of disposition, that I may try to explain why I orchestrated such a hurtful charade.

"As you are patently aware now, I am an actor of both stage and screen. I take my profession very seriously, perhaps more so than it deserves, though I like to believe that you among all women will understand why. If I can peel away the layers of a character enough to expose the beating heart within, allowing my audience to sees even a piece of the truth of humanity in my portrayal, then I truly believe that I am contributing something to this shared experience we all are living. Pretentious as that sounds, it is my goal every time I assume a role, be it Iago or a soldier, or even Mr. Toad.

"When I was cast as a student from the States, I knew I had my work cut out for me. I was educated, I blush to say my love, in the best schools in England: Eton, Cambridge, and RADA. My good fortune has been quite excessive, I know, though no teacher I encountered in all of my tutelage could hold a candle to you, my darling. In any case, I was woefully unprepared to know the struggle such a young man was going through. My director came up with the idea to have me pose in a small town school, and I admit I leapt at the chance.

"Never in a million years would I have guessed that I would meet the woman of my dreams in such a situation.

"I confess that in the beginning I flirted with you to amuse myself. You are quite breathtakingly beautiful, my sweet, and I was bored beyond belief. As the days went on, however, I began to uncover the woman underneath the starched blouses and pencil skirts. A woman with a mind that soared and a soul that sung. One who shared my passion for stage poetry, and did not back down from a challenge.

"In short, my darling Emily, I fell in love with you.

"I should have told you the moment our relation crossed over the line. Alas my love, I fear that it is a coward who worships you. I was afraid that if you learned the truth you would be angry, and I wanted to collect as many precious moments with you as I could before your warm eyes turned cold. My sin is great, I know. I do not deserve to be forgiven. Nonetheless, I place my heart at your feet in hope that you will take it up, take pity on me, and not stomp it beneath your shoe.

"The film I am working on seized the opportunity afforded by my early matriculation to begin shooting. I am relocated to New York City to start principal photography. I know it is a mere two hours from you, and yet it feels the length of the world. Knowing I will not see you each day, hold you at night, is a weight on my soul that I know I have only myself to blame for.

"I ask nothing of you, my dearest Emily, but that you allow me to write to you. I do not expect you to write back, although I live in hope that one day you will. The distance keeps us apart, but perhaps that need not be all bad. Perhaps it can give you time to heal and to trust me once more. Let me write to you, to tell you about myself - my real self - and try to win your friendship back if nothing else. It has been the most important of my life.

"I do not flatter myself that I will ever hold you again, kiss your soft lips, feel you beneath me as you gasp in passion. I have too great a mark against me to hope for such grace. I would die to have it, but will not impose it on you. Just let me try to heal the hurt I have done, and I will be content.

"If you cannot find it within you to accept my offer of friendship in the form of epistles, simply write me with one word. 'Stop' and I will cease. You are in control, my heart. I will bow to your wishes.

"Please take good care of yourself, my Emily. I wish I could be their to tend to you myself. Be warry of the dread maths teacher. I know it is no longer my place, but I would ask you to not be alone around him.

"Enough of that. I will end for now. Parting is such sweet sorrow, that I shall say good night till it be morrow.

"My heart is yours.

All my love,

Tom."

Emily read the letter through, barley able to make out the words through the tears welling in her eyes. When she had finished, she collapsed onto the bed and read it through again, openly weeping this time. All of the pain and guilt she had been holding in came flooding out. In the end, she had to put the letter aside so that the deluge of her tears didn't permanently mar the ink composing the lines. By then she knew it by heart, but she still loved to see his strong hand scrawled out over the page.

She did not for a moment consider writing him to stop. Perhaps she should have. There was no future she could see for the two of them. Her trust had been shattered, along with her mental image of herself, by the situation. On top of that, he was away, filming a movie in the big city that she rarely went to. When this movie was ended, who knew where he would be? Jetting off to exotic countries? Treading the boards in London? His life was exciting and adventurous, and she was a little mouse of a school teacher from a small town. How could they hope to make a relationship work, even without their drama?

The letters came far more frequently than she had expected. While it was not every day, Tom was clearly grasping every spare moment he had to pour out his heart to her. He told her all about the filming process. She felt as though she knew his costars, so vividly did he depict them. Against her will, Emily would find herself laughing at ridiculous anecdotes, or groaning in commiseration at delays in the shooting.

In the midst of all of these tales of misadventures and productivity, Tom made clear to he still hoped to win Emily back. He never missed an opportunity to praise her, calling her darling, his sweet, his dear, his love. He mentioned how he had suggested that one of the teachers should be young, smart, and sexy as an homage to her, though no one could possibly do her justice. He let slip that he had been making his costars groan with his continual referencing her, to the point where they teased him any time her name arose.

At the end of each letter he dropped all pretense, stating plainly that he loved her and would do anything to win her back. He insisted that he would wait, that the decision was entirely hers, but that he lived in hope that one day she would write him back, telling him she forgave him. Until that day, he would soldier on and try to deserve her.

Several times Emily found herself sitting down, trying to pen a reply to him. She wanted, desperately wanted, to do so. But each time, the fear would come crashing down and she would end up tearing the letter to shreds.

About two months after the letters started, there was a longer than usual gap between arrivals. Emily began to think that he had given up on her, and a panic she had never felt gripped her. She had not realized the extent to which she had been living for his words.

When an envelope finally arrived, it was in an international envelope, and the return address was London, England. That was it, then. He was out of the country. All of the stories of his homecoming, complete with welcoming family, were a dagger to her. He still professed his love, but now an actual ocean separated them along with the sea of emotion.

Their were two more letters, spread over a month and a half, and then nothing for three weeks. Depression returned. She had all but given up when a card shaped envelope, gilded on the edges, arrived in her box.

***

"Alright, out with it!"

Emily looked up from the pile of papers she was grading to see Ada standing in her classroom door, arms crossed over her paint splattered apron and a determined look on her face.

"Out with what?" Emily asked, confusion genuine.

"It's been four months, Emily," the older woman said, shutting the door behind her as she walked in and sat at one of the student desks. The same desk, Emily couldn't help but note, that had once been Tom's.

"Sorry?"

"Four months that you have been moping around! Barely showing your face in the teacher's lounge, looking like someone stole your dog and kicked your kitten. This, from the girl who was such a spark of joy when she was hired that she even ignited passion for teaching in an old war horse like me!"

"I'm sorry," Emily mumbled.

"Don't be sorry, girl! Tell me what's wrong!"

"It's nothing."

"Emily, do you think I'm blind?" Ada asked with a sigh.

"No..."

"Or that I'm stupid?"

"Of course not!"

"Good," Ada snorted. "As I am neither. Four months ago, a certain long-legged boy with more looks than are good for anyone swaggered out of this school, and you have been a ghost ever since. It's not hard to put the pieces together."

Emily gaped at her, all color draining from her face. If Ada knew, or strongly suspected, was it then general knowledge? Was her shame a joke amongst the faculty, or a cause of scorn?

"Don't worry, hun," Ada said, as though reading her mind. "Most of the people around here are blind and stupid. No one else has any idea. Well, maybe Jim, but that's a whole other can of worms that I am not too keen on digging around in. So, you fell for the boy, huh?"

"You must despise me," Emily said, voice hardly above a whisper.

"So you're failing is that you're deaf," Ada shook her head. "How many times did you hear me rhapsodize about him? Hell, I was undressing him with my eyes every damn day!"

"But you never took it farther than that."

"No, I didn't. But then I am decades older than either one of you and was not given the opportunity. Who knows what I might have done if he had batted those long golden lashes at me and flashed a dimple."

"You wouldn't have slept with a student," Emily said doggedly.

"Is that what this is? That you feel guilty? Tell me something, Emily: would you ever even consider anything inappropriate with say... Jack Simmons, or Zach Lewis, or Dan Fielding? Would it even occur to you?"

"No," Emily said at once, repulsed by the very idea.

"Of course not. Because they are children. The Simmons boy is a hulking child, true, but even though he is big, he is still an adolescent. You can easily tell in a moment he is not an adult. Now, compare that to Tom. He has a baby face, and is all gangly, but there was something about him that flatly identified him as a man. You knew that, instinctively. That is why you let things play out the way you did."

"How can you be sure?"

"Because I know you," Ada said simply. "You are a good person, with a moral compass. Was it a stupid thing to do? Of course! It could have ended horribly for you, and thank god it didn't! But don't beat yourself up for listening to your intuition when it turned out to be right! Even if the boy did end up being a snake."

"What if he wasn't?" Emily asked carefully.

"I just assumed... he left, and you didn't seem happy about it... Emily, what did happen?"

Emily looked at her friend, chewing on her lip as she decided what to say. Ada already knew the worst; what harm could it do to let her in on the rest? In a rush it all came out. The clandestine affair, the trouble with Mr. Howard, seeing Tom on Nicholas Nickleby, their disastrous fallout, all of it. Ada sat there rapt as Emily spilled the whole sordid story.

"He really punched Jim?" Ada asked when she had finished, a huge grin spread over her face.

"Twice," Emily confirmed, answering smile on her own mouth. "Hard. Knocked him flat onto the ground."

"Oh, would I have loved to have seen that."

"I could have lived without it, honestly."

"Oh, hun, I don't know what to tell you," Ada shook her head. "I don't even know whether to feel jealous of you sorry for you. Both, I suppose. Ah, to be young again."

"He's been writing me letters," Emily confessed, face reddening. "Ever since he left."

"What does he say?" Ada's eyes were huge.

"Different things. How his day is going. About the filming. That he loves me and wants to be with me."

"Well what the hell are you doing here then?" Ada stood from the desk to stare at her.

"Ada..."

"Girl, if that young man wanted me, you can bet that nothing would keep me away!"

"He's in London," she muttered.

"Did something happen to all the airplanes?"

"No... In fact..."

"In fact what, Emily? Spill it? Give a woman something to live vicariously through!"

With a sigh, Emily dug through her bag and pulled out the card she had received the day before. It was an invitation to a movie premiere in New York City. Folded along with that was a train ticket, prepaid first class, and a small note:

    "I would not wish Any companion in the world but you,      Nor can imagination form a shape, Besides yourself, to like of.

     Tom (with all thanks to Miranda in The Tempest)"

"Well," Ada smiled at her, "when shall we go shopping? You, my dear, are going to need a dress!"

[0lshadyl0]

Indifferent, yandere Hawks x Reader

warnings: little NSFW, yandere themes, obsessive behavior, kidnapping, curse words 

word count:  1.433

You were really his kind of woman, with fine facial features but strong character and sharp eyes, beautiful and strong, a true beast difficult to tame, Hawks really fell in love when he met you, although it was not easy to start a conversation with you since you didn't seem to be in the least interested in knowing him or even greeting him just for being polite. yeah, you didn't usually speak to him or take a look at him, it didn't matter that he was the hero number two, to you, he didn't exist unless it was necessary, after all, you were a hero too and from time to time two had to do collaborations together. he remembered well his first meeting, when you had just arrived in Japan and coincidentally you two had to fight against a group of mercenaries who tried to assassinate an important businessman, to see you fight firmly against enemies with strength comparable to Nomu's was incredible, but what had hooked him at that moment were your eyes, oh those bright eyes, full of life and passion, he could watch them all eternity and never get tired of them  but unlike you that from the beginning you simply saw him as an unimportant person, and a very immature one, who later became an annoying person who seemed amused to be constantly calling your   attention, something you never pleased him because that lazy looking flying chicken wing definitely was not worth your time, not even your attention, Hawks could not stop seeing you, every day that passed, the heroine was more and more stuck in his mind, it was that much than he had begun to dream of you, at first they were kind dreams, where you dedicated soft looks at him and little smiles, the winged hero always wished to see one of your smiles

"It must be a beautiful sight" he mutters to himself as he watched her discuss something he had no idea because he stopped to paying attention just to admire you from afar, with Endeavor from the other side of the room, after all, nobody had ever seen you smile or have any kind of facial expression beyond a neutral face or a look of contempt, for that reason you entered the category of heroes who looked like villains, something that Hawks disagreed with since, for him, your image was angelic, not villainous 

the winged hero centered his gaze on your back  although little by little his curious eyes went down to see your hips and as a final goal your delicious  ass, oh man what he would give for having that ass in his hands, better yet, having his cock in the middle of those cheeks, stroking himself between them while you get wet, getting yourself very nice and ready to take his cock inside of you until he cums so much that all your insides get painted with his milk, making you his lover 

just imagining you naked, waiting  yearningly for him to claim you as his own, make the hero's member throb he also could feel a little of his precum staining his briefs, he was forced to pretend that he was scratching over his pants to accommodate his dick so no one saw his growing erection, 'shit, this is bad...' he thought, after all, as the days went by and the real you ignored him, those dreams began to take darker directions, because his desire was ceasing to be innocent like seeing you happy, to something more... lewd, now he wanted your body, to possess you and that you only see him, not with just a kind smile but with bright eyes full of passion, of love and desire for him, just as his own eyes looked at you since the first time his eyes met with the indifferent yours  Hawks must have been very lost thinking about everything that he will do to you in the bedroom or anywhere, the feathered hero was beginning to care very little where he would claim you as his, to not realize when you  stoped the conversation with the number one hero to half turn around and catch him as he basically eats you with his pervy eyes, you couldn't do more than sigh heavily while rolling your eyes thinking 'here we go again with this pervert'  because of course, it would not be the first time that you discover him watching your ass, in fact he never stopped looking at you as if you were a piece of meat and despite the fact that you wanted to show that you are more than him, being professional and ignoring his staring eyes at all your intimate areas all the fucking time, you couldn't help bothering yourself "Could you please not be a stupid dick and stop looking my ass?" you say without any expression on your face, you won't give him that satisfaction, but by your voice, the two men in the room knew that you're getting angry at the flying hero 

"Sorry Y/n but you're very beautiful, and in my defense is almost impossible not look at your behind" Hawks smiled lazily doing his best smiling idiot face, he had well known that if he acted like a stupid jerk you will ignore him like always and although he hated that when you do that, for this situation it was handy 

"You're an idiot, I am leaving" With a slight expression of frustration, you decided to leave the room despite Endeavor's call to continue discussing the details of the mission of the three to attack a base of villains 'do not worry I will handle it' was the last thing you say before leaving the place

Endeavor directs his eyes to the winged hero to argue with him about his inappropriate behavior towards the heroine but when he sees it, he does not see his quiet almost lazy expression of always, instead, he sees a look full of pain somewhat distressing  but above all he sees that look of intense desire that could almost scratch the obsessive and he most of all can recognize well that look since he once had it too, that kind of look never meant something good, Endeavor knew that he has to be careful with Hawks he was dangerous now  

..................................................................................................

"where is she, Endeavor, please... tell me where is Y/n!" Hawks was the vivid image of anguish, his feathers were rampant and he looked disoriented, but he still had someone in his mind and she didn't look anywhere, he was desperate where are you? are you ok?  are you safe? did you survive the explosion? 

"I... I don't know, she was inside and..." the number one hero was lost of words

Endeavor also did not know the location of the heroine and the desperation of the hero number two, who usually always acted calm and rational in every risky situation, to act like it was the end of the world, at this crucial moment where the only missing person was you, this did not help the flaming hero at all; there was a miscalculation, nobody knew that the building was full of explosives and you who went back to that place because you heard a kid calling for help, just when you got in the building it exploded... and probably you died, he knew it and Hawks too, when he looked into his blue flaming eyes and saw them full of regret, he confirmed the hurtful truth that's why that he threw himself on the floor while he cried  all his lungs, after all the winged hero had lost the woman he loved 

or that was what he made them all believe

Hawks was always someone very capable of expressing himself, hiding his emotions and especially lying without anyone being aware or notice, so it was relatively easy to put an audio of a child crying  for help, knocking you out with his feathers and then abducting you and just for return quickly, of course when he made sure to keep you in a place where you could be safe and more importantly where you can't escape, then he just had to put a show, do a bit of drama and voila, everyone thought you were dead nobody will search for you or try to find your body and in a couple of months you will be forgotten by the media and the public, which it means that he can enjoy you for himself for all the rest of your life, whenever you liked or not 

[soukokuwu]

This is a bit particular, but can I get a scenario on Dazai when his (female) s/o, whom he's been with for a while, tells him that she was has a terminal condition and she'll only live a few more years? He's bitter that she has to die so early and expects her to feel the same way, but he's surprised when she explains that she's gotten past her resentment of the situation and is only grateful that she was able to experience the world as long as she had? Tysm!

Dazai Osamu

➢ angst, a hint of fluff (dazai x reader)

➢ warnings, suicidal thoughts, death

➢ word count: 2.1k

➢ ah i always love a good angst theme! i hope you don’t mind that i made this a full story i just got so absorbed writing this that i kept going 🥺 i really hope you’ll like this anon! 🌻🤍

Life & You

Pain and loss.

They followed him everywhere, wherever he went, in every crevice he thought he could hide in. They were the only thing that reminded him he was even remotely human, of the fact that he had a beating heart. The heartache was the only thing to serve as proof that he was alive, since he had never truly felt the kind of joy that made his heart soar or the kind of excitement that made it sing.

The cuts that littered his skin, under all the wraps that he used to shield them from the world, were a small yet painful reminder that somehow he still longed to find something to ignite his desire for life. If he had wanted to die right then and there - if he was really, truly hopeless, the razor would have cut its way deeper into his skin instead of settling for shallow gashes on its surface.

Nothing else made Dazai Osamu human. He was a clump of negativity and sorrow, a disdainful mess that should eventually be discarded by everyone and everything he held dear. Someone undeserving of feeling any sort of human connection.

Or so he thought, until he met you.

You were a strange little thing. The most infectious kind of love bug he thought he would never get himself involved with. Yet there was something pulling him to you, like you were opposite poles of a magnet, likewise spurring an intrigue in you that drew you to him even though you hated his initially pessimistic outlook on life.

Neither of you were ever able to pinpoint why the attraction existed in the first place. And neither of you tried to explore it either. The both of you had sought something in the world that you had somehow found in each other. Neither of you questioned the nature of your love for fear that deeper probing might lead to proof that the two of you weren’t meant to be.

For Dazai found a reason to live in you. And for you found in him something to be thankful to have lived for.

But it was funny how a dream can be right there in front of you, so attainable, yet it can be as fleeting as it came, taken away from you just like that.

The doctor profusely apologised and the nurses looked away out of pity. You kept your silence, disappointed that it turned out this way yet you weren’t surprised in the least. Life had a knack for bringing you down when you were up, and this was just another one of those moments. Although this takes the kick.

It had taken a while for you to process the news. ‘A while’, which of course meant a few months. And each day you spent with Dazai, the guilt that you shouldn’t have felt grew and grew. None of this was anyone’s fault, you were pretty sure it wasn’t even genetic. There was no one to blame but the cruel hands of fate. But fate doesn’t exist in a tangible form for you to take your hate out on. The only thing you could do was accept it. You knew that, but you knew Dazai didn’t.

This insecurity that built up inside you had caused you to put off breaking the news to him. But if you had learned anything throughout your own journey of acceptance, it was that faith could tide you through the darkest of times and the bleakest of moments, even if it had to be blind.

You had to trust in him. You had to believe that Dazai would continue loving you, even in death, and carry your wish for him to keep on living, no matter how selfish it seemed.

It was painful; to be able to see the pain flashing in his eyes even as he was trying his hardest not to show it. But you weren’t his lover for nothing. You could notice these tiny, subtle movements and twitches. Only most of the time you acted like you didn’t, if only to ease the possible worry Dazai would harbor about making you feel bad.

Throughout your relationship he had been calm and collected, his comedic facáde never once fading. Not even when he had to explain to you about his old scars, not even when you spotted him nearly committing suicide that one time. Which was why you were surprised at his sudden outburst upon hearing of your future, or lack thereof.

“Why didn’t you tell me sooner?” was the first thing he shouted. You could see the anger, the upset in his face, this being the first time he’s ever worn his heart on his sleeve. “Why do you sound so calm telling me this? And how do you expect me to be fucking okay with this?”

Dazai was bitter, oh so bitter. Tears made tracks down his face as he continued lashing out. His wild hand gestures and uncouth words only served to show just how angry he was at the world for, yet again, wanting to take away that with which he held most dear. He uttered a string of hopeless wishes, thinking of any possible ways to hold onto hope that you would be able to properly grow old with him.

Of course it was all futile. Your future was already set in stone. There was no changing the fucked-up ways of fate. It took a while for him to calm down, and out on the balcony the sunlight was fading, the colours of the day soon to disappear. The orange hue brought a calm that was missing throughout his rampage.

The two of you were sitting out on the patio chairs, with Dazai still hanging his head down, both hands tugging at his hair, body rocking back and forth as though it would wake him from the cruel dream he wished it was. You had to say your piece anyway, no matter how much he didn’t want to hear it. He was angry you didn’t tell him about this sooner, yes, but what made him more upset was because he didn’t understand how you’ve accepted all this, and why you’re taking this lying down.

“Because I found you, Osamu.”

Dazai swallowed the lump in his throat upon hearing your words, a feeling of utter confusion washing over him. He forced himself to turn to look at you, and he met you with his brown, desolate eyes, only serving to magnify the ache in your heart. But you steeled your resolve. This conversation still had to happen.

“You asked me why I’m not mad, right?” you reminded him, giving him the strongest smile you could manage. “I am not terrified of dying. Am I afraid? Maybe a smidge. Much less so if there’s nothing I can do about it. But Osamu?” As you focused on your lover’s beautiful face in front of you, you feel your smile growing more and more genuine by the second. “I was only able to be this happy because I met you. You are the reason why I’ve finally been able to be grateful for living.”

Dazai processed your words with suppressed joy rather than his earlier anger, the former growing as he listened further. These were words you thought but could never bring yourself to admit. And even in this situation, he reveled in hearing it. Someone like him, who could only have dreamt of what happiness felt like, actually instilled the feeling in you? The most beautiful human being he’s ever known?

“If death is going to consume me in the next few years, all I’m worried about is not when it happens. All I want to think about is how do we make our next few years together count, Osamu,” you told him, your voice strong with conviction.

You weren’t done, but Dazai couldn’t wait to pull you into a hug, stifling his sobs as he did, arms gradually wrapping themselves tighter and tighter around you. It was a simple message he was conveying: an apology for the unnecessarily long outburst and the assurance that he understood completely what you meant.

When he pulled away, you realised the tear tracks had dried, and he had a visibly calmer ambience to him. It was as though you could see the love in his eyes as he stared into yours, which was something considering Dazai never thought he could convey any love without having to explicitly do or say anything.

And as the last rays of the sun found its way below the horizon, he uttered to you the most loving words he had ever said.

“My precious belladonna, I will be together with you until your time comes, and I promise not to make you worry even after you leave.”

And Dazai Osamu kept his word. While you were still able to take your place beside him, and even after you ceased to exist. He had poured his heart and soul into loving you, something that he would never tolerate you arguing with him over. You would always tell him to do a little something for himself, not to keep prioritising you above everything.

“I will always put my belladonna first,” he would always say. “You’re going to take a whole other journey without me, could you just allow me this honour of treating you like my princess, while I can?”

You couldn’t argue with him then. After all, it was all thanks to the brunette that you were able to fully enjoy every second of your last few years in this world. Never once did he fuck up, never once did he make you feel bad about your terminal illness, never once did he show himself breaking down just thinking about life after you.

All the memories you carried on your deathbed were full of Dazai and the happiness throughout your relationship. How he had always made sure you got everything you wanted, be it simple things like food or even an overseas trip to Europe like you’ve always dreamed of. How he had treated you gentler than he thought he could ever handle anything at all. How he had proposed to you despite knowing your circumstances. How he had made sure you had the wedding of your dreams.

Even when the illness took a toll for the worst, Dazai had never let himself falter. He understood you needed him to be as strong as possible, even though you wouldn’t admit it. Showing how utterly despondent he actually was would only make things worse. So he didn’t. He continued giving you his endless care, feeding you when you were too weak to move your fingers, massaging your legs when you felt sore, and showering you with kisses no matter how frail and repulsive you thought you looked.

And now the memories were his and his alone.

As Dazai sat on your side of the bed and looked at your wedding picture, framed up and hung on the wall, he finally allowed his tears to flow. It had been a long, painful week since your passing. He had had to arrange everything, the funeral, the catering— everything.

Dazai did not have a care in the world for the expensive pressed suit he was currently wearing. He collapsed onto the bed - he swore it still smelled like you - and all anyone else could hear in the dark of the night was the painful cries of a man who had lost his wife.

A man who found something he thought didn’t exist at all and lost it to the void. A man who remembered his lover’s smile, the memories of how happy she had been on their wedding night, saying their vows, and every night after that. A man who wanted so desperately to follow her in the afterlife, only to look at his old razors and remember his promise to her. A man who wanted so badly for none of this to be real, and to wake up seeing her peaceful face on the pillow next to his. A man who thought he was a monster, finding his savior in the world he had lost hope in, an angel who brought him up from the depths of his own hell, and had to watch helplessly as she slowly fell into the abyss herself. And now a man who couldn’t find anything else to live for, save for the hopeless promise of staying alive for you, no matter how empty it made him feel.

He screamed out your name one last time before letting it drown in his sobbing, the light that appeared and stayed in his life the moment you came gradually fading away, leaving Dazai alone in the dark once more.

tags: @yokelish @gogolparadise

[1dsource]

Author Spotlight: thinlines

Don’t forget to show the author to leave kudos and comments to show the author love!

Truth Would Be

Words: 91k

“You want me? I’m not a… a thing to be owned!” Louis stuttered, still very angry and confused. “Hmmm…” The alpha tapped his lips as if he was contemplating something. “Last time I checked, the debt was paid off and the only thing I had asked in return was… you. So technically I do own you.” “You are crazy…” Louis muttered as he began to back towards the door. Harry’s impossibly green eyes turned a shade darker, but his tone was still teasing and light when he said, “Maybe I am…”

The I-paid-off-all-your-debt-so-you-are-mine AU in which Omega Louis wants to be left alone by Alpha Harry but it's super complicated when he starts to not hate the alpha all that much.

Hold the Night For Ransom

Words: 4.7k

“Hate that you make me weak.” Louis whispers it like a secret as he watches Harry tracing his lips. Harry could smell it now. Smell Louis’ delicious slick. He sneaks a hand inside the blankets, searching until they reach Louis’ joggers. Wetness meets his fingertips and he growls, shutting his eyes and seeing the red blossom behind his lids. The bursts of desire. “Is that for me?” He asks, opening his eyes and stare into Louis’.

In which Louis tries to prove he doesn't need his alpha and Harry knows it's a losing battle before it begins.

You are in my Bed, but your Heart isn’t

Words: 25k

It was 3 in the morning when Harry felt the dip of the mattress and tiny hands slipping around his waist. Hot and clammy against his cool skin. He could smell other people on Louis and it stank. Louis reeked of tequila, cigarette and alpha. Always the smell of some other alpha. Harry shifted testily.

"Did I wake you Haz?" The boy plastered behind his back grumbled sleepily. Tiny hands snaking under his shirt, lightly scratching his skin. "You have to stop crawling into my bed when you smell like some other alpha." Harry had meant to say "no, go back to sleep" but he couldn't stop his tongue.

"Don't hate me, Harry. I don't want you to hate me."

OR Rock Band AU. Louis is an omega who fucks around, doesn't know the meaning of "feelings" until he starts crawling into Harry's bed at night. Harry gets jealous easily and they all write a lot of songs about each other.

Promise Me You Won’t Run Away

Words: 23k

“Does kissing me stop you from having bad thoughts?” Harry asked, voice muffled into the collar of Louis’ dress shirt. Louis chuckled at this. He trailed a hand down Harry’s back, feeling the muscles tensing along with his touch.

“I guess you can say that. You’re a good distraction.”

“Then I will be the best distraction.” Harry answered, pulling back and watched Louis’ lips unashamedly.

“Come distract me, then.”

Or the Prince/ Knight AU in which Harry left Louis, but the omega never once gave up on them.

Your Touch Shouldn’t Make Me Feel Like This

Words: 28k

Louis was curled up into Zayn’s side as the alpha ran his hand through the omega’s fringe. Harry slowly took in the scene through the fogginess of his brain. His alpha snarled menacingly as he swallowed.

Right.

Louis, his best friend since first day of uni turned roommate after their second year, the only omega Harry had ever wanted and pined after, had an alpha. An alpha named Zayn.

Fuck.

Uni AU in which Alpha Harry has been in love with his omega friend for the longest time and one motorbike trip to the countryside with Louis made him realize that he could no longer hold back his feelings.

Does she know that I touch You?

Words: 4.9k

“You sure about this?” Louis asked gently, tugging on a loose curl. Harry closed his eyes to the touch.

“Yes. Have an affair with me.” He whispered and it was more than enough.

AU. in exchange for Harry to keep his mouth shut about Louis cheating, they made a deal. Harry could only touch Louis when the sun set and Louis kept denying himself the truth.

This was supposed to be Our Summer

Words: 4k

They were going to the same college and they were in love. What more could Harry ask for? Harry had secretly planned a getaway trip to Fiji for the entire summer. He could already see himself strolling down the white beach, holding hands with a sunkissed Louis and making sweet sweet love under the moon. The sound of the ocean waves harmonizing with Louis' pretty moans. But, when he waved the plane tickets in Louis' face, the smaller boy had given him an apologetic smile and announced that he had accepted some part time jobs and that he was probably gonna be busy working. Working for the whole summer. Not lounging and cuddling with Harry under the tropical sun.

Or a Summer AU in which Louis suddenly took up many part time jobs and Harry didn't figure out why until the end

Blue Summer Rain

Words: 2.5k

Harry worked at a shoe outlet for the summer. One day, Louis happened to wonder in. 

throbs and gleams

Words: 3.7k

au. harry rides motorcycle across the country and finds louis in the middle of a desert. 

Not Scared of Love, Just Scared to Love

Words: 3.9k

“Louis.” Harry said to get the other boy’s attention. Louis’ eyes slid from where it was fixed on the scenery whipping by the window to settle on Harry. “Are you… are you taken?” Louis raised his eyebrows. “What do you mean?” Louis asked softly. “Are you still the same Louis? Who is not scared of love but scared to love?” Harry asked, feeling the tension in his words, feeling the obvious biting anger. Louis’ mouth fell open, surprised at the words. “I’m not scared of love just scared to love?” He parroted Harry’s words, confusion settling in his blue blue eyes.

Or Louis kisses everybody and Harry really wishes he doesn't. Louis doesn't give a fuck but Harry wants him to.

Part 1 of Able to Love

Demons in my brain, Love

Words: 5.4k

Related to Part 1 (Not Scared of Love, Just Scared to Love) This is told from Louis' POV.

"I can kiss, I can fuck, I can make love, to anyone. But after you. I can’t. Not when I am thinking about you. Not when my thoughts reek of you. You are too much."

Or Louis gets his shit together and confronts Harry.

Part 2 of Able to Love

I’m Looking for Closure

Words: 2.5k

Related to Part 1 and Part 2 (Not Scared of Love, Just Sacred to Love & Demons in my Brain, Love.)

“Say you can read my mind.” Harry said to Louis as he pushed Louis down onto the mattress. Louis squirmed as the covers rubbed against his skin.

“I can’t read your mind.” He said simply to Harry as he reached up to put his hands against Harry’s chest, trailing them down to Harry’s narrow hips.

“My mind is saying that I should just… just fucking go back in time. Go back so I could be your first.” Harry said, leaning down to lick into Louis’ hot mouth.

Or They finally fuck, sorry, I mean, make love.

Part 3 of Able to Love

can’t live another summer without you

Words: 1.5k

Louis was probably the reason why Harry came back after four years in America. They climbed a space net together in the dead of a summer night.

A typical sappy stupid idiots in love Summer fic

Under the falling lights, We met

Words: 1.1k

Under shitty fireworks on a beach, with hair dyed red and positively drunk off his ass, Louis never expected to remember much of that night. It was the Fourth of July when he met a boy with green eyes. Everything was beautiful but unfair at the same time. 

I guess we never really moved on...

Words: 1.3k

“You told me I was a god.”

“You were…. You were my little god.” Louis dropped his burnt out cigarette on the ground and stomped on it, crushing it with his shoes.

“Damn it Harry! I’m not a god. Just a spoiled bastard that wants too much.”

as the light changes

Words: 971

“Why are you here, Harry?” Louis didn’t know what possess him to ask such a nosy question and he avoided Harry’s penetrating stare. “I like your voice.” Harry shrugged. “Oh.” “It’s raspy like you haven’t had water for days. Like you are a flower in the middle of the desert that had long ceased longing for rain. Sounds kind of hopeless, but when you read, I think, the world just stops and listens.”