#In my mothers call history.
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I love in abundance. I love loud and visibly. I love so much I burst at the seams with it.
That is the legacy I want to leave behind.
#I can live knowing that I’ll never really be gone.#My love is found in the laughter of my friends.#My love is found in the way my niece says words the way she does.#In the gentleness of my dog when he meets someone new.#In my husband’s pudgy stomach.#In my mothers call history.#In the way queer kids at my old high school are unafraid to be themselves.#text post
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coping by coming up with now-possible world states since our choices won't be referenced one way or another in dav. realizing that actually, i'm not limited now by canon options. the choices can be whatever i fucking want. or don't want. they can be fucking bonkers off the wall and if it's not referenced in game, it can be true and unquestioned!
yea i'm shipping everybody and bioware can't tell me it's not canon in my world state
#mother giselle became divine because fuck it#we killed both celene and gaspard and established democracy in orlais#abelas didn't let anyone drink from the well of sorrows and kicked us out of the temple while surviving unscathed#we were all scolded appropriately and he gave us directions to mythal's altar#kieran kept his old god baby soul because he likes being creepy but otherwise he's normal and studying art history in orlais#blackwall never went to weisshaupt or became a real grey warden and will never hear the calling and makes furniture professionally now#i'll come up with more#merrill and isabela are married#zevran is king alistair's consort/official royal assassin#you can't make me choose between the hawke siblings so now they both lived#anders and ser-pounce-a-lot were reunited and now live on a cheese farm in the hinterlands in peace#and you know what hawke is there#with fenris#my dalish mage warden (i can do that now!) lesbian romanced morrigan and recruited warden jowan as a sperm donor for our son kieran#dragon age spoilers#veilguard spoilers#dragon age
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vaguely fascinated by osana sov's naming choices. she chose for her daughter a name that can mean "bitter (strength)" or "lady" in two ancient languages (hebrew and aramaic) and for her son a name that means "old friend" in another ancient language (old english)
like every other golden age character has a name that's pretty normal by our standards, which tbh includes mara, then osana just names her other kid uldwyn. then again, even osana's name is either a variant of the hebrew hosanna or after an obscure and possibly fictitious old english princess-saint whose name means something along the lines of "godly solitude", so i suppose mara might be considered the odd one out
#destiny 2#osana sov#ngl i lean towards the old english meaning for osana bc it's very fitting given she lives in the wilderness w uldren in the distributary#also want to acknowledge osana's name could be japanese (“childhood friend”) but given her kids have names from hebrew and old english#it seems pretty likely that her name has one or both of the same origins#either way osana was def a history nerd btwn this and her mentioning weregilds unprompted in the marasenna#though it's very interesting to me that most of what we *see* of osana in her in the context of her motherhood#even though she's also an extremely renowned negotiator and mara mentions osana also had premonitions (presumably of the collapse)#...there's a vague irony that osana and mara (and crow) had truthful visions but uldren's were purely a deceit by riven#also i have feelings abt the fact that mara and osana were the only ones to remain w their names unchanged amongst the original awoken#(to our knowledge at least) since mara whose namesake comes from the book of ruth where naomi changed her name to that out of grief#and mara changed basically every other person aboard that ship consciously or otherwise#but did she change her mother/let the transformation change her? idk it's been a lingering thought in my brain since forsaken#anyway this is inspired by me trying to figure out what the revenants' watchtower is guarding#i don't think it's the pre-existing one to the dreaming city bc the scorn are already there#notably all the lore calls it *the* watchtower but the livestream mentioned *a* watchtower so i think it must be a different one#my spinfoil hope is that it's guarding the entrance to the distributary but also interamnia (awoken capital) would be cool#edit: should prob mention i'm assuming uld- equals ald- (old) but like. fairly simple assumption given everything
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people really do not know what they're talking about when it comes to Elizabeth Woodville's social status, huh?
#yes Elizabeth was without a doubt considered too low-born to be queen#no she was not a commoner and nobody actually called her that during her life (so I'm not sure why people are claiming that they did?)#Elizabeth's social status was not a problem in itself; it was a problem in the context of queenship and marrying into royalty#Context is important in this and for literally everything else when it comes to analyzing history. Any discussion is worthless without it.#obviously pop culture-esque articles claiming that she was 'a commoner who captured the king's heart' are wrong; she wasn't#But emphasizing that ACTUALLY she was part of the gentry with a well-born mother and just leaving it at that as some sort of “GOTCHA!”#is equally if not more irresponsible and entirely irrelevant to discussions of the actual time period we're studying.#Elizabeth *was* considered unworthy and unacceptable as queen precisely because of her lower social status#her father and brother had literally been derided as social-climbers by Salisbury Warwick and Edward himself just a few years earlier#the Woodvilles' marriage prospects clearly reflected their status (and 'place') in society: EW herself had first married a knight and all#siblings married within the gentry to people of a similar status. compare that to the prestigious marriages arranged after EW became queen#Elizabeth having a lower social status was not 'created' by propaganda against her; it fueled and shaped propaganda against her#that's a huge huge difference; it's irresponsible and silly to conflate the two as I've seen a recent tumblr post cavalierly do#like I said she was considered too low-born to be queen long before any of the propaganda Warwick Clarence or Richard put out against her#and the fact that Elizabeth was targeted on the basis of her social status was in itself novel and unprecedented#no queen before her was ever targeted in such a manner; Clearly Elizabeth was considered notably 'different' in that regard#(and was quite literally framed as the enemy and destroyer of 'the old royal blood of this realm' and all its actual 'inheritors' like..)#ngl this sort of discussion always leaves a bad taste in my mouth#because it's not like England and France (et all) are at war or consider each other mortal enemies in the 21st century#both are in fact western european imperialistic nations who've been nothing but a blight to the rest of the world including my own country#yet academic historians clearly have no problem contextualizing the xenophobia that medieval foreign queens faced as products of their time#and sympathizing with them accordingly (Eleanor of Provence; Joan of Navarre; Margaret of Anjou; etc)(at least by their own historians)#Nor were foreign queens the “worst” targets of xenophobia: that was their attendants or in times of war commoners or soldiers#who actually had to bear the brunt of English aggression#queens were ultimately protected and guaranteed at least a veneer of dignity and respect because of their royal status#yet once again historians and people have no problem contextualizing and understanding their difficulties regardless of all this#so what is the problem with contextualizing the classism *Elizabeth* faced and understanding *her* difficulties?#why is the prejudice against her constantly diminished & downplayed? (Ive never even seen any historian directly refer to it as 'classism')#after all it was *Elizabeth* who was more vulnerable than any queen before her due to her lack of powerful foreign or national support#and Elizabeth who faced a form of propaganda distinctly unprecedented for queens. it SHOULD be emphasized more.
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I know you said you don’t love writing thenamesh as actual biological parents (totally respect that and agree, I especially agree that Thena probably wouldn’t be the most willing mother (although I live and die for TMTL AU)) ANYWAY! would you possibly be interesting in writing something where Thenamesh accidentally stumble into parenthood without meaning to?? Maybe a little orphan child in ancient times won’t leave them alone and they end up raising them? (probably begrudgingly on Thena’s part to begin with but she’s a secret softie especially when Gil is smitten and we all know it). No worries if you don’t wanna write something like that, just something I was thinking about!
Thena sighed, "I know you're there."
She didn't receive a reply, and she knew she wouldn't. She stood from where she had been - entirely against her wishes but at Ajak's behest - reviewing some of the senate's requests. The various war orders and border reports were draining her.
She stepped down towards the door of the room, the skirts of her white toga trailing behind her. She spoke again, "orphan."
He responded to more than that, of course. Sersi thought it was cruel of her to address a child that way, but he responded to it. A small head of blonde peeked out from behind one of the larger vases.
"What are you doing here?" she asked him with an expectant tone. She raised her chin to further look down upon the boy, "you know better than to enter the temple of Athena without permission."
Usually, she was loath to bring up the title of Athena in any way. But if she need be stuck with it, she could make use of it.
The boy shuffled out, his hands clasped in front of the brown burlap of his tunic. "I was looking for Gilgamesh."
The boy was positively enchanted by her Champion. Plenty were, of course, but this boy idolised Gilgamesh and the very ground upon which he walked. And Gil was equally charmed by the small child. She thought he entertained his obsession entirely too much.
But the boy enjoyed trailing behind Gilgamesh when he was walking between the forge and the acropolis, or watching him train fighters in the arenas, or even when he was in the orchards gathering fruit.
"Why do you think he is here?" Thena fixed her eyes on the boy. Most grown men would be sensible enough to cower, but the child stepped even closer to her.
He glanced behind him a few times.
Thena let out another breath. She was not a caretaker, she had no business with the boy steps away from clinging to her. But she unfolded her arms and knelt down to see him better. Children's heads were so small. "Speak."
"The guards," the child twisted his lips. "They tell me not to bother the gods."
They also were no gods of old, at least not how Athens imagined them to be. But Thena had no qualms letting them think that if it meant them keeping their distance, either.
"And if they are correct to tell you these things?" she raised her eyebrows. But the boy shuffled even closer to her. She sighed, "what did you do?"
This child was no angel, just like they were no gods. He liked getting into trouble, challenging those twice his size, proclaiming that he would be a fierce warrior someday. And sometimes that 'challenge' was him running up to someone and whacking them with his only possession: a toy sword, fashioned from wood (clumsily, by his own hand).
"They were being cruel," he spoke in defense of himself. His hands left his tunic to clench into tiny little righteous fists. "They were laughing at old man Socrates! One even threw his apple at him!"
Thena felt her hackles raise. She had no business policing humans; they were of no concern to her. But what did bother her was senseless cruelty to those more vulnerable than the strong. "And you decided to do something about this."
The boy's small shoulders fell again, though. "I told them I challenged them to a duel."
Thena tilted her head. His tunic was still fastened above his trousers with a rope, but there was no toy sword. "Where is-"
He sniffled, trying not to let his tears fall, "they took it and broke it in half."
That was why he had run to her. Well, he had been seeking Gilgamesh's comfort, foremost. But he had also known that if the authorities of Athens were the ones committing an injustice, only the gods would correct them.
Thena frowned at the child's tears dropping onto the stone floor. He wasn't her child; he was no one's. He was, like many others, a result of the many wars Athens had waged before, and were attempting to continue waging. It was exactly that which she was opposing, despite her title as their figurehead for war.
Footsteps approached, heavily and loudly. The boy nearly leapt in fear and scurried to hide himself behind her, even tugging at her dress like a tapestry to hide his feet.
She glanced somewhat over her shoulder in the direction of the little head of blonde hair, getting tears and snot all over her pure white robes.
"Goddess Athena!" the guards greeted her before all else. Their heavy armour and leather skirts made sound with every breath they took. "Forgive our intrusion."
She said nothing.
"We were pursuing a street urchin, and we fear he may have run in here." The captain of their group stepped forward, the adornment on his helmet distinguishing him from the others. "We wish not to disturb you. But we cannot let a stray mutt wander into the hall of gods."
Thena looked at each of them. She owed them no words, and they had no right to ask them. Her lips twitched. "You have a splinter."
The guard seemed embarrassed, rubbing at his arm. "Forgive me, O-Warrior. I was struck with a splintering old board."
A child's toy, now no doubt sitting broken in the streets. Thena looked at the others. "Which of you ate the apple?"
They looked between themselves, confused. "My Lady?"
"One of you was eating an apple," she continued, raising her empty palm. They knew what that meant, stepping back. "And threw it at a harmless old philosopher."
Their faces went pale. It brought some joy to her, but she kept her face even. Their fear was the best part of her day. Rather than deny the wisdom of the Goddess of War, they knelt. "We beg your forgiveness, great Athena."
She drew back, her blade in her hand in a second. She took a harmless swipe over their heads, although the tops of their helmets fell unceremoniously to her floor like feathers from a startled bird.
The men trembled.
Satisfied that her message was received, she retracted her powers like a cat closing its paws. "Be gone from my sight."
The men obeyed, scurrying away, abandoning the remains of their rank, leaving them to explain what had happened to their uniform. If she ever did see them again, she would not be so kind as to let them go with their dignity.
"They will not bother you again," she said more quietly. The boy was strong; he had stopped trembling. And he had, at the very least, the wisdom to let her face his multiple foes.
He sniffled one last time before stepping away from her protection. "They always do, eventually."
Then next time, she would have them begging her for their lives. She kept her eyes looking out the door as she patted the boy's head. She wouldn't have been able to read the expression on his face regardless. "Gilgamesh should be done in the forge by now. He may even take you to the great hall. I believe they are making the baklava today."
The child's eyes lit at the promise of sweets. "Can I have some?"
She did her best not to smile, lest she encourage his youthful impertinence. But she may not have been entirely capable of suppressing it. "Tell them Athena herself demands it."
The boy didn't even look twice at her, running towards the door and nearly slipping in his old, worn sandals.
"Heracles," she called after him. He turned at the sound of his name. "Return with Gilgamesh. We will show you how to strike someone properly."
The boy beamed. His cheeks were ruddy and his teeth were small and uneven, and yet they fit his cherubic face. "Yes, Thena!"
He had heard Gil address her casually too often. If he called her that, what if others thought it acceptable? But she couldn't bring herself to be angry with the boy. It was far too difficult to hold a grudge against something so sweet and innocent.
Technically, the senate decrees still needed seeing to. But she had more important things to think about. And before young Heracles returned with Gilgamesh in hand, she had some whittling to do. She wasn't Phastos, or Sersi, by any means, but even she could carve a sword out of some spare wood.
#Thenamesh Heracles AU#thank you so much for the ask!#I appreciate your thoughts and I do think this is a very sweet idea#I thought of the story of Hercules#I know he's a demigod and raised by humans#but what if the other way around??#anyway Thena secretly adores this kid but hates the idea of being called out on it#Gil knows though#he's been a great father figure to young Heracles#sneaking him fresh fruits and teaching him how to punch so he won't hurt his itty bitty human hand#and he knows Heracles loves Thena#because even though she's scary he runs to her all the time#he thinks she's funny and cool and even though she calls him Orphan she's also nice to him#his own words#they return and she presents Heracles with his new sword which he treasures forever and ever#they have a little family bonding time learning to sword fight#Gil thinks it's so cute watching Thena teach this young boy how to stab properly#if they had cameras he would be such an ipad dad#Sersi and Phastos are like what the hell is wrong with you two?#but Heracles is like this is my family we crave violence#Thena: I am not your mother#also Thena: don't run in the streets there are horses and carts!#Thena: I don't care about this human child#also Thena: have you eaten it's getting dark finish your vegetables you just ate no you can't go swimming#history will remember the feats of Hercules the demigod#but Thena and Gil will remember Heracles the feral little child who liked hitting people with a stick
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Actually, I really wish Tumblr as a whole was less comfortable using feminizing language for gay men, especially gay East Asian men.
#unforth rambles#brought to you by the person i saw call chu wanning 'mo ran's mother' and the person who defended them#putting aside the question of accuracy re his role in mo ran's life#the words parent and father both exist yall#like idk but also wtf#see also girlboss and such being applied to gay men#idk i feel like im in the vast minority on this one#but my whole life ive seen gay men feminized in real life against their will#no matter how masc they were or wanted to be everything became fem#maybe im just to old to be with the times on why this is cute and funny abd okay#but given tumblr demographics and all#like shit like this is imo why so many women and afab nb people in fandom get accused of fetishizing#we older queers remember when doing this was considered disgusting homophobia actually#and imo it goes double or triple when they gay men in question are east asian#i really wish we could just fuckin stop#to be clear im not saying it IS fetishizing im saying i wish there was more awareness of the history of forced feminizing language#being used towars gay men in general and toward east asian men regardless of sexuality#for a lot of people i gotta think the knee jerk reaction to this kinda language being used is these context isnt teehee how cute#its ew who would say that#anyway i blocked op on the mo ran stuff but it still left a bad taste in my mouth
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Still haven't messaged my mom back. And I don't think I'm going to.
#you know how they say time makes you look on the past with nostalgia and that's why elderly people think so fondly of past decades? not me#there are moments I look back on with nostalgia sure but the overwhelming feeling of looking back on my childhood is just whatever I do#wherever I go whatever happens that will not be my life again. my memory is long I made a promise to myself I intend to keep I don't forget#support you having your grandkids if their mother is deemed unfit yes. take the older two myself if it comes to it yes. move provinces to#live with you to look after the five of them together where you would be my only adult connection and there's a language barrier and I have#no work history and I'd be between five hours and nine hours away from any other connection I have answer's an absolute fucking no. I've#seen how you are with my sister how you were with my brother. who do you think they call when they've had enough of you? do you not#remember most of the beatings I took was because I was standing between you and my brother? of course not because according to you you#never did beat me but if you think I'm not aware that would turn on me again the second I'm no longer distant and just visiting if you#think you'd find nothing to complain about because you've built up this golden child ideal of me in your head and want to forget how it was#when I was actually in your care you are very very wrong. I remember. I know that inconveniences a lot of people who want to forget#unpleasant things about themselves. me too to be honest I have memories I wish I could erase but I can't especially with regard to my#sister. I defended my brother but not her. not enough. and it's probably why I give so much to her now more than I should because it's#enabling but it is what it is I guess. I won't use my memories against anyone just for the sake of it but I absolutely fucking will#to protect myself or others. you want a redemption arc without admitting to anything? keep being patient and kind towards#your grandchildren even if you end up having to take them and if you can't do it for all five of them then accept that it's better for the#older two to be with me. that's it. those are your options: the older two are with me so you only have to look after the younger three or#you need to buckle down and learn from your past mistakes to look after the five of them and all that is *if it even comes to that* which#as things are it's not in danger of that! it was a regular fucking visit to monitor the situation that's all; they're not getting taken#literally every time she freaks out about something it's a 50/50 chance it's actually something or she's invented a completely#twisted version of events
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I'm alive with a heart full of love.
#noodle speaks#noodle overshares in a pretty way#I am filled with love for my mother#I am filled with love for our connection outside of pain#I am filled with love for the history of love that exists in the way she looks at me#I am filled with comfort at the fact she is the woman I loved before I lost that love#I am filled with joy at the laughter we shared#I am filled to overflowing with her love#And I will sip from that warmth until it runs dry#And from then I need do nothing but call her
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I humanized Jaken for an Edo era historical fiction au that lives inside my head. I've been trying to settle on a face for him.. Independent of him being human or yokai he needs to be able to have a very expressive face.
#my art#inuyasha#jaken#sesshomaru#the au is like sess is head of a dying samurai household and really really wants do the wandering samurai thing but he lost his sword arm--#--in a duel with his bastard brother. so now sess is just rage#i've been reading the book 'musashi' after watching that one puppet histories video about the historical guy#somewhat related but in this au at least i have it that 'sesshomaru' isn't his adult name and that his father died before he could give one#and 'inuyasha' isn't really a name either but just the thing villiagers call him. his mother named him something else.#but inu's the type to think the insult name suits him better so he'd use it instead
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I like Laufeyson better than Odinson because Loki deserves to claim/retain some tiny connection to his heritage even if it’s the last name of his shitty birth father.
And considering he rejected his adopted name because his adoptive father was genuinely trash toward him, it seems invalidating and dismissive of his pain (especially for a character who has a theme of being invalidated and dismissed) to be so adamant about him accepting the ‘Odin’s son’ label again.
I also like the narrative symbolism of him finally standing alone as a character and building an identity for himself outside of his connection to the Thor family.
In addition, even if complete reconciliation had happened between all of them, the events of Loki discovering his parentage/actualising his feelings of being different/dealing with the shift in dynamics in his life and family/etc were so impactful for everyone involved, it’s nice to have a silent reminder and acknowledgement that those things happened instead of having them just pretend nothing changed, and calling him Laufeyson does that perfectly.
#just some thoughts#I had to get this into words#because anytime I argue with fellow loki stans about how laufeyson is better than Odinson#I’m never actually able to explain my reasoning#anyway#he’s either Loki Laufeyson or just Loki to me#and no don’t get me started on that Loki Friggason bullshit#because she was almost as bad as Odin#just because Loki loved her and relied on her (because he had no one else) doesn’t mean she was a saint#she was gaslighty and wholly dismissive of his pain and sided with her husband over her kids every single time#she also outright refused to acknowledge odin’s own horrible history & hypocrisy and tried to manipulate loki into apologising#for calling them out on that double standard#by leveraging their mother/son connection against him and using it as an ultimatum#I rly don’t like Frigga lol#anti Frigga#anti Odin#loki meta#mcu Loki#loki#loki laufeyson
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I finished the update and can I just. Discord screenshot copy paste
#lilia was a mother who just gave birth in that update okay.#and the way my jaw dropped when I heard Malleus screaming because the senate tore him out of Lilia's grip.#Malleus fought tooth and nail to be in Lilia's arms. Lilia fought for TWO HUNDRED YEARS and fought SO hard just to hear Malleus calling him#and fought so hard to hold him and read him stories and do all the ugly parenting. He was fighting for it#and his shell cracked open and they were together and his SPRITE CHANGE HIS SOBBING SMILING SPRITE#and the senate saw that and thought it was the most repulsive thing to happen in history#that's so personal to me. It's nothing I'll ever go into on this tumblr very deeply but that hit like nothing has before.#to think kids are awful and gross and to realize the reality that they can die and every ugly moment is something so important to fight for#leave me alone leave me alone#Also I cannot stress this enough the fucking BATTLE MAP JESUS CHRIST I WAS DYING IN THERE!!!!!!!!!!!!!#so sorry I forgot to tag spoilers#twisted wonderland book 7 spoilers#twisted wonderland spoilers
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#yeah it would have been very convenient for his brother robert#but - oh no! - it was also convenient for his other brother who immediately set off for the treasury and then a hasty coronation#(robert had fucked off on the first crusade that's why he wasn't in the right place at the right time)#(he later ends up imprisoned by his bro in a castle where he learns welsh and writes some poems)#(say what you will about henry 1st he was at least VERY good at getting things from his older brothers)#okay it might have been an actual genuine hunting accident but i only read about dead monarchs for THE DRAMA let me have this#i always enjoy when a history book gets to this point and you find out if the author thinks it was an accident or an “accident”#the normans are french vikings and i've yet to come across one whose name is actually norman#idk if that name existed then but *I* would have named at least one son 'Norman of Normandy' just for giggles#btw every famous woman of this era is called Matilda. all of them. there's battles between competing English queens called Matilda.#i have yet to come across any explanation of why this is. i assume there's an OG Matilda who's famous maybe? possibly a saint?#(there *is* one called Edith too... but then she changes her name to Matilda) (no really) (and it's her husband's mother's name)#idk how you're supposed to write Norman Monarchy Femslash when all the women have the same name#what if i want to read about Queen Matilda's epic forbidden love for her husband's arch-enemy Queen Matilda? eh? eh? EH???#i should probably come up with a tag for my history-related nonsense i wouldn't want people to find it who seek Sensible Thoughts#history fandom#(there that'll do for a tag)
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Scientists: want so badly for adult children who are friends with and/or still dependant on parents for money or a roof to be Bad that they are intentionally looking for detriment in the study results
Study results: so overwhelmingly positive they can't actually find the data needed to twist the narrative
Scientists: >:|
#i read an article#the article was pro kid/parent friendship and dependance bc MANY studies have shown that's beneficial to both sides#but people want SO BADLY to believe the fiction of Independence and it's necessarity that they think parents who still#care about and frequently talk to their grown kids are causing codependency and setting them up for failure and like#not inherently#living with my mother was super beneficial and i still would be if he wasn't anti ever living in MO again and i anti livinf in TX until#it's again a state i can comfortably live in as a trans person#like if i lived with my dad and step mom there'd be reason to question bc while he's gotten better she's just as bad#and expects me to sit down and take emotional abuse and revisionist history from my father's memories of abusive days#whereas dad will thank me for calling him out once he gets over the understandable moment of hurt in realizing what he thoughr was helping#one of his kids was actually hugely painful and detrimental#but also me asking my father for money isn't a danger to my independence it's a sign of the failure of the system#it's not a ''failure to launch'' it's a 'the system and economy are so broken it is literally impossible to get on your feet on your own'#like come off it#look at other societies and multigenerational homes#are they suffering for it? no! then why would we be????#like if you raise a child and all but evict them from your life when they're 18 then like. do you actually love them? do you actually care?#or did you feel like children was an obligation and now it's over and they only matter for holidays and birthdays?#bc the latter is much more of an issue than adult kids '''''boomeranging''''''
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Meet Koen! Though, you shouldn't call them anything other than their full name until you've met them. They're a bit of a warrior, bit of a traveller. They're on a mission to find their mother - fuelled by revenge!
#Koen is my darling I love them with all my heart#magpies art tag#mags baby birds#you would not believe how much world building I have done for these guys. I have created an entire alien p#planet and cultures and histories and languages#koen is a halfling though. their parent is called Sohta and is the alien species and their mother is unnamed and is human :>#Koennata
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everyone is like ooohhhhhhhh hyyh yoon-gi the tragic pianist wahhh wahhh he must make only the deepest most soulcrushing and vulnerable music like. emo rock and. bedroom lofi. none of you are brave enough to imagine him as he truly deserves to be. a jazz fan.
#listen to me. take my hand. follow me into my jazz pianist yoongi agenda.#i know there are plenty of great non jazz pianists but to me jazz is where the piano shines !!! in my heart of hearts yoon-gi thinks so too#i think his mother was highly classical but jazz is his calling (its a metaphore)#i think if he has the same love for hip hop as actual yoongi it would come from a love of jazz first and foremost#i think he loves to improvise i think thats why hes obsessed with freshness vs melancholy in his sound#i think he sees it as the only genre that can speak to the ostracization he feels#i think he listens to jazz and blues records all the time and studies its history and has a big duke ellington poster in his work room#dl
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has anybody's parent ever been dependent on astrology? sure there's the sun, moon and rising signs. sure you've maybe got a whole house chart planned out, because you know the time you were born. you hear somebody was born today and you go 'oh i so knew you were a Virgo/Taurus/Sagittarius', or say they have fire/water/earth/air energy! Perhaps something bad happens to you and you can blame it on mercury retrograde! Who knows! maybe you do that!
have you ever branched out into other kinds of astrology? i don't vibe with western astrology much, anymore, I'm over that. how about sidereal? they're supposed to show your TRUE self! or tropical?
or how about vedic astrology? do you know how specific they can get? oh, they have lucky numbers, percentages of luck for certain days (don't go out today, you're 20% lucky today, you're on the negative side today!), lucky colors (touch a lot of yellow today!), lucky ages too! Did you know that? TELL ME YOU WATCH THE OLD MAN WHO UPLOADS DAILY AND LISTS YOUR LUCKY COLORS.
let's go deeper into vedic astrology and how safe it is to depend on it! maybe your parent wants to wear lucky colors. you should too! it's good for you. in fact, you need it. have you ever complained about anything? that's because you didn't wear your lucky color. be careful with work today, the stars say communication issues will happen.
lucky colors lucky colors lucky colors YOU CAN'T WEAR BLACK. THAT COLOR ATTRACTS BAD LUCK. you can't wear blue, that's another zodiac sign's lucky color and not yours. you watch your wardrobe of pink (or other fun colors, I don't judge) get replaced with whatever prevalent color your zodiac sign is supposed to wear for the day. you once swore that once you hit a certain age, you'd start wearing what you wanted and you watch that promise get slowly eroded. This happens for years and you can watch.
wear silk underwear on friday. donate specifically on saturdays because THAT INCREASES YOUR LUCK (not for the sake of donating because other people need it). don't bleed on fridays (that's an offering to whatever devil exists now). today's lucky color is yellow and grey. you sullenly pull grey out of your wardrobe, and your mother asks what you're wearing is yellow. you snap and ask why the fuck a color is luckier than another color now. she tells you to not argue because now you're both going to be late for work, but fine. fine! just wear grey today, then! the moment remains in your mind. pinpricks of guilt burn before you dose them with anger.
you miss the days your mother was more catholic than whatever it is she is now. an amalgamation of that and whatever astrology has ruined her. for a brief second you wonder if this was what the church meant when they said 'astrology came from the devil'. you then remember the numerous other things the church calls evil, and you settle for the fact that even twice a day, a broken clock is right.
you sigh and one morning, tell your mother you want to go into hellenism, in a last ditch attempt to hopefully fall under the shelter of gods that will protect you from whatever this is (you remember how a woman ran into a temple for safety, and depending on the mythos you read, was either blessed or cursed for this).
your mother later asks you if jesus is still the main deity you worship.
#personal#anyway im going through it#realizing that despite all my eccentricities im super normal for someone going through the SHIT i do#a quarter through writing this and i went 'maybe im in a cult'#congratulations to my mother of all people who did not need a cult to indoctrinate her at all that's got to be a fucking first in history#all of these are personal experiences. all of this was said. all of this all of this has happened. i think im incredibly...#nobody can ever call me weak anymore. looking at this and having gone through this for years#i think i am anything but weak#anti astrology
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