#Im very excited to have a short commute lol

[emgoesmed]

We got our match results!

My partner and I are going into different specialties, and this match result was a curveball; we were not expecting it! We’re both happy and optimistic about the program we matched at!!

I’m excited to start the next chapter. 🥰

I matched!

[jeanmoreaux]

hi!! i also agree with weekly episodes being the absolute standard versus the binge disease of media now

but i'll take quality shows or at the very least, enjoyable shows (I'm gritting my teeth) because can it at least be entertaining. not like everything we watched growing up made sense or had the best writing but at least it was fun and had the wildest ideas

anyway!!!! i started watching sex and the city and i know im so late but i just happened to try out an episode and im hooked i really love the friendship and tbh the sex stuff is pure comedy to me

this show was wAY ahead of its time and i do appreciate that it tackles a lot of questions or issues or just some idea that we definitely deal with in real life (also the episodes are only 20 mins PERFECT FOR ME) and i just keep laughing it's so ridiculous and raw and real (except for Carrie's NYC living like girl i LOL'd when a scene played and she said writers get paid just fine THE LIESSSS but anyway it's fantasy, the being able to financially afford to live in NYC with the budget of a writer 😉)

yeah idk i just found that i get much more excited for and invested in shows that release weekly because you get to think about the characters and story in between episodes. the engagement goes so much deeper bc you spend so much more time watching and thinking about the show. i think more shows tend to employ a spaced out release schedules again tho which is a great development.

oh i haven’t watched sex and the city, but it’s one of my moms favourites. and yessss 20 minute episodes are GREAT. love me shows with episodes in the 20 to 30 minute range. you can pop them on when you’re eating dinner alone or on a commute or when you have a short break between tasks or right before bed as a little treat…. and if you want to watch a couple of episodes you don’t have to sacrifice an entire afternoon lol

[pinterestinfluencer]

wtf what happened

oversharing on the internet….. and i still dont know how to do read mores so can everyone please scroll down very quickly. 😞 our lease is up at the end of february and i didnt want to re-sign the lease. they were re-signing sun and i said i didnt want to re-sign the night before, on sat. it was shitty of me to back out last minute. i texted the landlady and asked if we could hold off for the next two weeks so the two other girls could decide if they still wanted to stay because we split rent between us. she said we could wait until mid-feb to sign. so i told them that. they said they were signing tomorrow regardless, with or without me. and that they were pissed at me for going behind their back and changing the signing date to the landlady but i thought would literally be good for them. and they KNEW i was thinking about not signing this is not like a new thing like i want to go back to school and i already have an hour commute to work and i really have been excited at the prospect of living alone so i asked if we could push back the date. this all happened over like a 15-text convo. i got back to the house sunday afternoon after they had signed and they were basically like pack your shit i want you out in two weeks at the same time as the other roommate that is moving out (amicably). like she said in a text if i didnt show up to re-sign the decision would be made for me and id leave at the same time w the other roommate but honestly i thought she was like in the moment (aries rising) and i knew thats a sort of pettiness that doesnt really align w who she is. or who i thought she is. and i was like. no. the lease is up on feb. 28. you are not my lordlord. like what. i paid rent for february. the other was like ill pay you back. and then they were like we dont want you here we dont trust you and i was like im not leaving. i applied for apartments for march 1 and they were like apply for them earlier. i genuinely just didnt understand. and they asked if i wanted to keep living like this with them here and us just resenting each other and i didnt. i didnt think theyd think me leaving would mean that i rejected them but they think i intentionally screwed them over. and what i know now is that it wasnt just that. like that was just the thing that sent them over the edge but up until that moment i didnt even realize that like they were tired of me being all over the place and fickle and like sensitive and also not communicative because i was and i said i was going to sign and then i was like mmm maybe we should wait like i was so ANNOYING because i didnt want them to hate me for changing my mind or leaving them so i stayed on and then the night before i panicked but then they said theyd sign without me which made me feel even more confident like i wouldnt be leaving them with the burden of having to pay and i was like okay. thats fine. we wont wait. and they were like i hate her and want her gone.

And long story short it resulted in a knock down drag out screaming match the likes of which youve never seen before. mostly by me i was the one screaming because they made their decision. You know just saying things i already regret and they got some good zingers in to be honest and i told them they were dead to me and actually knocked over a dead potted plant on my way out. like reached into the soil uprooted it and everything. literally grabbed three outfits grabbed the cat carrier shoved tum tum in it and i drove to my parents house 1.5 hrs away (currently with a longer commute to work LOL) and i have tum tum. and yesterday my friends (that i have left) helped me get EVERYTHING of mine out of that house like it was all gone today which sucks because now at this point i literally forgive them and understand that i sort of was the problem. and i saw photos of us on the wall and keep ugly crying and like im just miserable and i want to be their friends again and i want to apologize to them and i want them to apologize to me and i don’t understand it but like i get it so well. like i still love them. this sucks so bad

[monaut]

nice things:

1) i live next to a forestry museum and it's a cute old house with a forest recreated in front. this is next to the river that goes into the bay so i get to have both the forest and the sea breeze and a nice view of the mountains

2) my commute to work is very short and i get reimbursed for the bus so that's nice. my work is in the downtown area so if i want to walk to work i cross a bunch of nice restaurants and malls and shops.

3) my apartment came with a lot of free furniture. i discovered that i'm good at cooking. my neighbor has the cutest baby

not so good things

1) the senpais from my program here are all really nice but i don't actually vibe w any of them... also they always say that they're excited to see us three newbies and that they're always happy to help introduce us to the city and stuff but they never reach out, are extremely cliquey when they get together and only talk to their old friends, and aren't actually helpful when i ask for help lol... which is why i STILL havent been able to take my trash out bc no one will tell me where the collection is/how the sorting works here even though ive asked a thousand times -_-

2) fucking HATE one of my other 2 newbies SO fucking much she was literally put on this earth to make me angry i wish i was kidding... God lichrally took every personality trait i hate and put it in one person and made her my coworker. anyways so everyone thinks im a bitch bc i seriously cant stand her lmfaoooo. bro just die already...

3) im so broke i dont even know how it happened? i actually factually have no idea how i suddenly became broke i havent even paid for utilities yet but suddently i'm brokeathan. yes i bought some books yes i bought some candy but that shouldnt have been more than 30 dollars total wtf...

[calenos]

im so tired im so tired im so tired

nothing bad happened i’m just busy and exhausted

socializing frequently after months of basically no socializing is Very Stressful

my GPA last semester ended up being 2.4 (HYPERYIKES), a full 1.1 points lower than my previous low in college. but i kept my scholarship and only failed one lecture that’ll be cheap to retake so it’s not the end of the world. honestly, was expecting this to be lower. so this is good news at least.

on that note i need to pick a class to drop and replace with the failed class. im dipping into senior electives as a junior because of 1. weird transfer credit amounts coming into the school and 2. dropped classes that are only offered once/year. so now i’m looking at taking storyboarding (VERY WORK INTENSIVE) alongside senior port 1 (art student thesis). blech!!! might talk to the head of our dept about this/skipping storyboarding for another vis dev or illustration related class since it’s... really far out of my interests, especially after taking half the class lol

my grandpa keeps mentioning his failing health and i feel more obligated to spend more time with him every time im visiting home which like, i get, but it’s already a decent chunk of time wtih him. idfk

i’m researching apartments/condos to move into with boyfriend and helping him with other random stuff. this is actually exciting but also obviously requires a lot of research and talking through our requirements. also i’ll probably move further away from the school to a more affordable area (got lucky price wise with where i live now). so the increased commute will hurt time management and gas wise. but otherwise a massive QoL increase

trying to figure out a concrete plan on keeping social media updated with art, keep consistent branding, figure out how to fix my website, and prep for the spring art market

normal downtime of video games is less of an option with boyfriend visiting + 1 semi-capable laptop that doesn’t run our favorite game (OW). other downtime... is sleep. we can do naps at least and be cozy and relaxed. watched a nature documentary and a whole lot of bon appetit yesterday and that was awesome too. but sometimes a bitch just wants to clap kids in OW or Halo

wanted to get board games in with my family and d&d in with friends before my boyfriend leaves town which just sounds tiring

and then i’m tentatively planning to drive to him a few days after i fly back to CA so we can view places for the move that will be.. mid semester. not sure on this one. we do need to view places, and i’ll have about a week and a half of extra time once i’m back. but it’d be really nice to get some alone time in once i’m back, clean up/reorganize my room and the shared fridge, and have a lot of drawing/game time. (i miss my PC lmao). if i go on a trip to visit, that means paying a lot in gas (he would at least go halvsies on it but i’ve spent a lot of money with friends over break ugh), spending that time, and having less time to do all the stuff i said before + get supplies for this semester. meh. hoping to talk him into bare minimum apartment/condo visit time + 1 day to relax together + maybe 1 day to help him with his stuff too?

oh and i need to schedule a visit with a psychiatrist in CA alongside a visit to the disabilities coordinator at my school and work out a plan to help deal with the anxiety/adhd because it’s been eating away at my grades slowly and i genuinely think i could pull all A’s and B’s with proper treatment and not getting docked 10-20% of my grades for missing an occasional class due to panic attacks. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ hell i could probably manage A’s & B’s with 18 credits if i talk to her and keep on these meds (i just want to up the dose slightly im technically taking a childs dose so it’s not always as effective)

and my fafsa didn’t go through correctly again even though i turned in my signed and corrected award letter months in advance. so i gotta talk to financial aid. again. wew lad.

at least the last 2 are easy. im mostly worried about long term stuff: graduating on time, building up some sort of presence for the business side of my art, and navigating a successful long-term relationship. i won’t force the last part if it doesn’t work but, of course, but i believe it will and want to put in the effort & make an actual commitment there. short term, the extra socializing IS tiring, but it’ll only last for another week. rereading this is actually kind of encouraging at least, lots of stuff to do but it should pay off!

this ended up being kind of a to-do list because i haven’t bought a planner and calendars for 2020 yet lmao rip