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wokestraightpuffy · 4 years ago

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Hallo, i hope you are alright and that my ask aren’t annoying but I wanted to ask do you have any c!puffy headcannons? —🤡

YOURE NOT ANNOYING AT ALL !!! NEVER THINK THAT ILU VERY MUCH. MUAH /p

as for c!puffy headcanons, i am not the best person to ever organize their thoughts properly but ill try my best >:’D

ahaha. this got. super complex and way too long and more of like an introspective study to puffy now instead of harmless fun headcanons so, uh. under read more <3 (also reminder this is all /rp and /dsmp)

* i like to think that she has a hero complex, but its a bit different since she never really sees herself as an ‘important’ part of the story, not the main character but a support one, hence ‘im fine with being the side character’ or how she’s said she doesnt care what happens to her and would gladly sacrifice(?) herself if there werent other people she had to protect. girl u need therapy urself <3

* though very open with how she feels and never afraid to say when someone/something is upsetting her, ‘opening up’ is still a whole mountain climb for her, apparently. like, she’d rant about the egg, get mad at the eggpire, let off some steam by committing arson or exploding stuff, she’ll rarely ever talk about how much the stuff that upset her actually HURT her. does that make sense? LIKE, she’ll lash out, she’ll get mad, she’ll take NO SHIT thrown at her face, but to show the kinda vulnerability of dealing with that? to cry about it talk about those feelings with someone? I think she’d rather eat her own foot lol

* adding onto the thing above, she doesnt necessarily actually realize this about herself. less of actively doing it and rather growing... used to the ‘cycle of violence’ in the smp as they call it. and the fact that rarely have people really asked, that no one’s actually available for that, w her losing her closest friends, bad and ant, sam being busy w the warden stuff... and niki. yeah. there’s foolish, but i doubt she’d ever see venting to someone she considers her son appealing

* also. puffy is just sometimes... really bad at conveying sadness. i think she’s a rare crier. id go as far to say that shes even more emotionally constipated than dream, lol (but maybe not while the guy’s in his prison arc) and that she’d be the type of person to tell you its okay to cry but beat herself up over something if she let a tear slip in a heated moment

* speaking of sadness. she’ll only ever actually Be Sad if she’s alone or with someone she doesnt necessarily care the opinions of. yknow how she mourned for tommy and blamed herself? those dialogue bits? yeah, those are only times shed actually be vulnerable

* puffy’s go to response to the egg and how its fucked up her relationship w her friends is pure fury. but, going off of her line about ‘failing bad and ant’ i like to think that she probably hates herself the most about it. THAT IS A STRONG WORD LOL BUT YEAH. she yells and curses and gets mad, but sometimes i wonder if the words she had spat before were more directed to herself

* THIS GIRL HAS SELF-IDENTITY PROBLEMS. CAN WE GET A HELL YEAH FOR THAT CHAT? outside of having no goddamn clue about where she came from, how she got here and who she even is, scrounging up a role for herself in a server with a war on the background and traumatized kids got her resignedly coerced into thinking that she is only a Parent. Only good enough when she’s actually doing something Useful for people. SO. when she finds that ship? of having a crew and having a curse? OF FINDING OUT SHE MIGHT HAVE/ HAVE HAD A MOM THATS WAITING FOR HER? the sense of control she has on herself is absolutely crushed. shattered, and she’s left to pick up the pieces w no one to talk abt it with <3

* adding onto the above, it’s why the line ‘I’m supposed to be mama puffy. me.’ hurts me so much! so yes! please cry with me :D

* also to add more on the fact that she thinks she’s only worth something when she’s being useful, puffy literally contemplated leaving the server, thinking that it wouldnt matter leaving since no one really needs her anyway, since she’s failed so many people. bad and ant, tommy, dream. shes said how foolish can take care of himself on how tubbo and ranboo have each other, how she and niki have drifted so far away from each that it might as well be a break up.

HOOOOOOOOOO OBOY . anon youve really given me the perfect chance to ramble huh? sorry for the rather incomprehensible brainrot, here’s more lighthearted headcanons about puffy asdhfkd

* she cannot stand still sometimes. she always has to be doing something extra, walking when the prime path is right there? shed rather go through tedious little holes or hop and balance onto fences to get where shes going. she’ll mindlessly fix up the path when there are holes or mismatched wood, and one time went on a long, long LONG journey cleaning up the paths tommy purposely DESTROYED near lmanburg and even added cobblestone sidings which werent there before

* puffys a bit of a sentimental person. writing in her log to clear her thoughts sometimes and cared enough to try and preserve lmanburg with the glass sheet and trying to find possible surviving artifacts of history to respect it, even though she’s never been a part of it. its also why, when doomsday happened and lmanburg got permanently poofed, she began to appreciate the buildings that are still standing and began taking more pics

* she’s not used to being... what do you call it, um, cared for? she’d deflect compliments sometimes, when shes having a particular bad day, like, she’d laugh nervously and change the subject, sometimes she’d outright deny it, most days she’d jokingly say ‘staphhh it’ and add a very genuine thanks. my point being is, do something for puffy that is mildly nice and she’d keep that moment in her heart forever.

* also funny story regarding the above. u know how karl is notorious for stealing her materials? and how puffy was contemplating doing something in retaliation for them? karl says hi for once when she joins the server and she goes ‘alright fine youre safe for saying hi’ LOL THIS WAS PROBABLY A BIT META WISE but something about this implying that the bare minimum or LESS is enough to make puffy forgive someone is very sad and funny at the same time for me. girl really said ‘oh you said hi to me? thats nice all the crimes youve ever done towards me is now forgiven. <3’ (this is a bit of an exaggeration on my part, ofc, i just think its funny LMAO)

* ironically, despite being the ‘captain’, whenever riding a boat with someone, she prefers being on the backseat and letting them drive. ig shes just there for the ride i suppose, her and her uber drivers :3

* she either has a rather unhealthy obsession with baked potatoes or she just doesnt wanna waste eret’s massive potato farm

* idc what cc!puffy says is c!puffy will always and forever be 5′2″ in my HEART. u are the shortest member, u cannot change this <3

* shes really fond of animals/ neutral mobs. she often baby talks to them and they help boost her mood a lot when shes having a bad day :D

* up to this day, the little secret rooms she’s created around the server have all been yet to be discovered, unless the one under bad’s house has been found. she rarely ever really keeps tabs on them, and more often than not they are just collecting dust. she still visits sometimes and cleans them up ofc

* she still genuinely thinks dream can change. cc!puffy’s line about that, ‘i’m his last hope.’ really makes me think about this a lot.

* ive seen people talk abt it a bit but the headcanon that puffy acts as the server mom to fill the ‘void’ of her missing her mom makes me cry at night /hj

* she really likes her rainbow onesie! i headcanon that eret gave her that along w the sunglasses, but she started wearing that less when she found her old captains uniform. shes never really said why, though, and nobody ever really bothered to ask

* god bless this woman but sometimes the server members get on her nerves sometimes so she goes out of her way to traverse along far away from the main community to maybe commit a few crimes. let off some steam. these take a few days but she always returns

i probably have a lot more hcs but i cant remember them >_> THIS IS A LOT ANYWAY. HOPE U ENJOYED MY BRAIN VOMIT. IF U READ THIS FAR ILU THANK U

if there are mistakes it is bc i am crying and cannot see my keyboard and also i am sleep deprived /hj

#captain puffy #tea speaks #god this is so long the brainrot is concerning ANYWAY #clownon

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flyswhumpcenter · 5 years ago

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Nurse Café - Chapter 4/6: “Questions Aren‘t the Aspirin of the Soul”

PREVIOUS CHAPTER / NEXT CHAPTER

Fic Summary: Life could have honesty been simpler than that for Hokuto, a second-year Liteature major. There’s, however, someone out there willing to just make it easier on him.

Fandom: Ensemble Stars! (College/Coffeeshop AU) Ships: HokuAn (Anzu/Hokuto)

AO3 version available here.

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Chapter Summary: Hokuto has too many questions and Anzu only has one answer to all of them.

Chapter Wordcount: 1.6K words

Chapter Notes: Well that was a quick update. My inspiration is a trickster, I swear. I forgot to make it clear in this chapter, but it's set the same day as the previous one, albeit in the evening. But also, *more pining*, because I've been in a pining mood lmao, I hope y'all appreciate it

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As soon as he stepped in his flat, Hokuto wondered why he had been so rejoiced to go back to it.

Truth be told, he only vaguely remembered what had been happening around him before his eventual collapse in a coffeeshop. He absolutely didn’t think his place would be in such a miserable state: papers were scattered around the floor, his bed was unmade (but why would he have remade it in the first place? It wasn’t like he had been using it much, these past few days), there were empty cups of coffee piling on his desk and he was certain he had forgotten to do the dishes at some point. Better be starting to clean up now if he wanted to take a nap…

“Wait, what are you doing?” Anzu asked as she grabbed his wrist, reeling him back.

“I can’t let you see my place like this,” he replied, hands twitching to clean. “Not after what you’ve done for me.”

“Have you forgotten you were sick in the first place? I’ll take care of it, you just go lie down…” Her eyes drifted to the bed, then across the room, and her face started to contort in confusion, “wherever you can…”

He sighed, knowing this was a battle he couldn’t win, not now at least. His head was spinning enough as it was.

“I’ll just… quickly fix that mess. I’ll clean up later.”

“That’s already better.”

He clearly didn’t remember making a bed being this draining. Even then, he was in luck: only the sheet of the mattress and pillow were unmade, making it less work that he had expected. It still didn’t prevent him from pathetically dropping dead on it when he was finished, dizziness overcoming him, as he realized he really couldn’t have cleaned the entire flat from the state he had left it in. Too bad Anzu was the one who had to see it like this, he’d have much preferred it to be Akehoshi or Yuuki… even if they’d have been right to call him out on it.

Despite what he had been busy doing the day before, he still felt awkward at the idea of sleeping here and there when he, technically, had a guest. He was being a terrible host for sure and, in a way, he was trying to be less terrible at it, albeit in vain and with very little improvements. Moving felt like a chore and yet, and yet, he couldn’t bear seeing her on the floor picking up papers he didn’t remember printing, let alone reading.

“Do you always work this much on your presentations, Hokuto?” She mused as she read some of them, glancing at him with what may have been a mix of concern and… awe? It wasn’t clear.

“Not all… That one was the main grade for that course, so I wanted to put more work into it…”

“On what was it? For what course?”

“Hah…” Damn. “I… don’t remember.”

“You… don’t remember…?”

“I’m… I’m blanking out. I think it was for the history course, but that’s all I can remember…”

Anzu was staring at him, dumbfounded, disgusted.

“It’s worse than I thought.”

She then fell into silence, quickly gathering the last few papers left on the floor and making them into a neat pile on his desk, right before throwing away the empty cups. He couldn’t quite see her face from where he was, head trying to bury itself in his pillow, yet the tension remained. He had disappointed her, hadn’t he? In their group of friends, he had always liked thinking of himself as the level-headed one, who could be relied on with no problem, and yet he was the one who had fainted right in front of her because he had let his life tangle into a nightmare of knots. Talk about being a hypocrite.

He felt another kind of sick as he continued watching her, helpless. Of course he’d have fallen for someone like her, who shone much brighter than he did, eyes sparkling even while she did his dirty work, washing dishes that weren’t hers without a complaint. She’d probably be gone by the afternoon, and he’d be left alone again, and it was better this way, he knew it; yet the capricious part of him wanted her to remain, as if she didn’t have a life of her own, realizing how near yet faraway she was from him.

He honestly didn’t deserve her.

Deep in thoughts and getting taken over by lethargy, he almost didn’t hear her leave the main room and come back, empty boxes in her hands to dispose of them. She seemed not angry, like he had expected, but still bothered by something. Him, he then supposed, before realizing that was quite the egocentric thought. He couldn’t read her mind and he needed to get over that as soon as possible.

“Your bathroom was kind of… disorganized,” she suddenly said as she walked up to him, soon sitting on the chair she had picked from the table and put by the bed. “You had medicine boxes scattered around, all of them empty. How many of these headache pills did you take a day?”

“…I lost track…”

“I suppose you’ve not overdosed on them, considering you’re still here, but it’s still worrisome to hear you say that. Please, never do that again.”

“Wasn’t planning on to, frankly.”

It got a smile out of her.

“Good.”

He could barely look at her, chest tightening every time he tried to, either out of shame or of something else he still wouldn’t admit to feeling. His face was burning, half from the fever that didn’t want to disappear and half from his own heart being set on fire. Her smile soothed and worsened the pain at the same time, alternating from beat to beat. He wanted to take her hand in his and feel its relaxing coldness against his entire being who felt too warm.

He still couldn’t get his head wrapped around the idea that Anzu had wanted to do this all on her own. He was annoyed and disappointed with himself already, tired of being this sluggish and this much of a mess, how could she do something like this for someone else? Well, stupid question if he tried to revert it, because he’d give up on almost everything to take care of her if she ever needed an aide by her side, but it didn’t help the interrogation from festering in his mind.

The question annoyed him so much that he ended acting upon it.

“Anzu?”

She rose her head from the book she was reading, most likely a handbook for class.

“Yes?”

“Why are you doing all this…?”

Her hands immediately shut the book without making sure the bookmark was still in place.

“Why wouldn’t I?”

Her answer shut him down immediately. His brain was still too tired to process even getting responded like this, beyond uncertain of what he was supposed to expect or say back, or if he was expected to give feedback to begin with.

Why wouldn’t she? That made so little sense, even if he reversed the question. He’d undoubtedly help her because, well, every fibre of his being wouldn’t have borne leaving her to an illness (or any ill, in fact). Why would she do that? Even as his friend, perhaps his closest, she’d have looked at least a bit annoyed by it. Maybe she felt obligated because he had fainted in the coffeeshop she worked in specifically? Maybe she felt bad because he did look pathetic. Maybe not helping him out was considered a crime for not coming to the aid of someone needing it.

Thinking without getting any answer out of it about it was giving him a migraine, yet her eyes didn’t stop looking directly into his, and he felt like he could have melted right here and there.

“It’s nothing complicated, Hokuto, really,” she sighed. “I didn’t even think about it twice.”

“Aren’t you even… bothered?”

“I’m honestly more bothered about how little you cared about yourself during that time than by doing all of this.”

He didn’t have anything to say nor add, instead sinking into his covers. Did she care this much to do all of this without even minding any drawback?

“It’ll be fine, I promise. Just rest, okay? We can talk about all these things once you’re back to your usual self,” she told him, smiling softly, hand brushing against the one he hadn’t buried under the blanket. That was, until her fingers stopped moving and her smile dropped. “Wait, are you crying?”

“It’s… nothing. I just get… emotional when I’m… sick.” His voice was too hesitant to his own tastes. He had always been a terrible actor, but this wasn’t the moment for the Masked Pervert’s words to be proven right. It really wasn’t.

She handed him not any tissue, but her handkerchief. He took it without hesitating for long, even if it stayed in his hand for a little moment before she nodded in agreement to what he was about to do with it.

“I feel like there’s something more to it, but for now, it’s fine. I wish you a steady recovery from now on.”

“You’re leaving…?”

“Not yet, but soon. I have work tomorrow morning, but I’ll make sure to come by when I’m done there. Is it fine with you?”

He nodded before handing her back her handkerchief. With a simple move, she declined.

“Keep it for now. I need it less than you do.”

A wordless acceptance, then a whispered “thank you”. Her smile was brighter than ever.

“You’re welcome.”

This love thing would be the end of him, that much was sure, but he’d comply for now, if it meant bathing in this comfortable warmth, beamed on by the sun, even if it worsened the fire already ignited inside his chest.

It may have happened not to look this one-sided either, even if he wouldn’t get his hopes very high.

#enstars #hokuan #hidaka hokuto #anzu (enstars)#sickfic #hurt comfort #overwork #caretaking #AU: coffeeshop #au: college #otp: konpeito chou cream #Fic: Nurse Cafe

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