#If you're one of the good cyclists I am kissing you on the mouth

[teaboot]

I don't know what cyclist needs to hear this but many major department stores keep exterior CCTV camera coverage on bike racks specifically in case of bike theft and if you show up there and chain your bike to a random garden display or disability parking sign or fucking INDOORS you look like a huge asshole. Also I don't give two shits if you "Don't Have A Bike Lock", get a fucking bike lock, holy shit, you're worried about someone stealing your bike and you won't even do the bare minimum to take responsibility for keeping it secure? NO you cannot leave it on the wheelchair ramp NO you cannot drag it with you and mark up the flooring you can lock it ON THE BIKE RACK WE HAVE PROVIDED or you can stay the fuck home. I do not care if you paid ten thousand dollars for your bike. You know what 12% of $10,000 is? $1,200. The taxes on your bike could pay for a fucking titanium astronaut bike lock. Keep bitching at me and I'LL steal it. That bike is worth five months of my rent. "I guess I'll take my business elsewhere". Fuck off. You were going to buy three bananas and a vitamin water and snark at our teenage cashier, we don't want your business. Shove your cleats up your ass. Tour de France looking motherfucker

[slippinninque]

🚦Spinning The Block🚙

Jatemme Manning x BlackFemReader

You and Jatemme enjoy a little ride

warnings: MINORS, DNI, 18+, cursing, flirting, guns/shootout, short n'sweet, self-indulgent fic beware

"Be careful with my shit, girl!"

"Aww, pretty car can't go vroom?"

You veered to avoid a cyclist who really wasn't looking anyway--see, look at you being nice. You pressed down on the gas and squealed beneath the sound of the revving engine.

"Listen--

"Ooo, you get spicy when you're nervous--ain't this a rental anyway, pretty boy?

"Ain't no 'nervous' shit--yo' ass is just crazy as hell."

"Still no word on the rental part, though...interesting."

Jatemme held onto the upper handle of the front seat, the pretty gold ring on his left hand twinkled from where he was bracing against the dashboard.

"Honestly, my driving isn't all that ba--

"You keep looking over here to talk--

"It's a sign of respect--whoop!"

Yelping after running a yellow-red light, you heard Jatemme's lips smacking over the blaring horns. You cackled, veering and switching lanes every time you saw brake lights.

"Okay, you caught me! Secret Passenger Princess here. I hate driving so I make everyone else nervous until they make me stop."

"I believe you, too. All my shit just everywhere fucking with you--I hope someone does catch your rabbit ass..."

You laughed, slowing a touch as you pondered your surroundings. It was delightful to hear Jatemme so near frazzled. It may have influenced you to hug the side of a box truck for cover just to see those impressive shoulders of his ruck up to his neck.

"Hey--you wanted me to drive, remember?" You reminded him, "I gave you the keys and you gave 'em on back. You're just mad you have butterfingers."

Jatemme growled something and turned your face back towards the road, "On. The. Road, I said."

"You aren't even doing your job," You took a sharp and sudden left and this time you hear a thud and curse from the backseat, "That car's been shooting at us for, like, a while now. You need to do better, you too Asthma!"

"How the fuck am I suppose to fix my shit witcho ass swerving so much?"

"Oh, so you want me to drive in a straight line then?"

With a knee steadying the wheel, you flicked up your hoodie and then your piece. A sweet lil' Glock .26 that you let dance out your window.

Someone got hit. The sedan swerved and careened into a dilapidated bus shelter, another gaining to take it's place only a few beats later like something out of a Jackie Chan bit

What was only a failed negotiation was looking more like a set up. The sedan behind you was the third one within the few miles of your escape, Jatemme couldn't recognize any of the drivers.

You caught Asthma's shocked expression in the rearview mirror and remembered your manners, "I'm so sorry--have you met Merengue?"

"Excuse me?!"

-----------------

By the time the moon clocked in, you were pulling up to one of Jatemme's spots. The car was fucked up but she rode true, you hoped that Jatemme fixed it back up.

"I'm gonna head on out." Asthma sighed, knocked fists with Jatemme, and began a tired trek to his parked truck.

The car settled into park with a nasty cough and the three of you clambered out, stretching and popping spent bullet casings from your clothing.

"Bye, Asthma! I hope you have a good sleep!" You waved after the man and got a lazy wave back, "He's nice. 'Bout to sleep hard as hell, I can tell."

Silence met you and you turned in time to be ensared. Jatemme kissed you hard, somehow just how you liked it.

His hands went around your waist and the bite of teeth had you making a noise, pushing closer.

Jatemme pulled away, peck by peck until he was far back enough to look at your lips, "'Bout time you stopped running that mouth. There's a loft up-top this place. I'm about to have a drink and lay the fuck down."

You tilted your head, And?

Jatemme's white teeth flashed across his full bottom lip, his head falling into a tilt.

"Come on up and lay down with me, rabbit."

Somehow that request felt more intimate than all the flirty shit you said out loud to keep your focus as you peeled through the city.

Believe it or not but there was an art to being a getaway driver. Figuring out where your tails could be lurking, being mindful of what territory you were in, the whole are those cops or is it just a Charger debate...

"Hm...only if I can be the big spoon." You purred up at his bemused face, "I promise to do only a lil' bit of dipping, sweetness."

Jatemme snorted and crooked his arm, all gentlemanly, for you to take. You did so as you kept running your mouth, absolutely stoked for your nap.

"I'll dip your little ass out the window--you want it like that?

"Mhf, kinky. Will you call me the Riddler while you do it? Just think of it as a little deposit for my Bean Bank..."

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✨ending notes✨: i had to write something a bit chaotic to make room in this brain of mine and unfortunately for jatemme, he had to pay the price! thank you for reading and tell me what you think! 💖💜✨💕

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