#If it wasn't clear the animals are supposed to represent their personality

[birdenjoyer]

hi everyone this is what animal companions the TF2 mercs would have in my fantasy world

Scout- Squirrel. Adhd incarnate

Soldier- Turkey. Not the brightest but a true patriot you probably don't wanna fight

Pyro- Chrysomallon squamiferum. Likes heat

Engie- Border collie. High social and practical intelligence, goofy guy, would thrive on a farm

Heavy- Bear.

Demo- Throwback pomeranian. Very social and Needs To Work

Spy- Barn owl. Silent assassin not uncommon around people

Medic- Rat. Silly little guy who's actually really smart and has scientific connotations

Sniper- Cat. Very good at killing and also Autistic

Miss Pauling- Mouse. She just has mouse vibes and I can't think of a better fit

The Administrator- Orca. If you know you know

Saxton Hale- Honey badger. Fucking dangerous

And a bonus:

Trapper- Trapdoor spider. Sets traps, unsettling to some, cute to others

[shiiro-arts]

Thank you so much for replying to my previous ask in such detail (I loved it and really, really appreciate your efforts 🙏)

I just started rewatching the anime and I saw the focus they kept on Lisanna hence my doubt. From Erza I felt it was more of a sibling type dynamic (that Erza sees Natsu and Gray more as her younger brothers) but they really pushed the Lisanna narrative in the beginning. And given the way he reacted differently to Lucy and Lisanna like becoming flustered with Lisanna I wondered.

Please do talk about the killing himself part too.

I love reading your analysis!! Thank you so much for your hard work ❣️ (Feel free to push in NaLu scenes that show it their bond more obviously)

Hi!! I'm happy you liked it, I'm going to try and talk about Natsu and Lisanna a little bit more and then I'll start with the whole killing himself thing. (following this post)

I think the reason they focused on Natsu and Lisanna at the beginning is because a lot of studios/mangakas have the need to create a couple, even better if it's an MC. And pairing Lucy and Natsu up from the beginning doesn't make any sense, they just met and didn't know each other.

Lisanna is a really important person to Natsu, although they hardly interact anymore.

She supported Natsu when he first came to the guild and became his first friend. Not only that, she helped him with Happy, hence the whole wife and husband thing, they represented a family.

Natsu is not as stupid as they make him out to be, he knows what marriage is, exclusivity to a partner

and things only adults are supposed to do.

He knew what Lisanna meant by "we'll get married in the future," and if she had never "died," NaLi would have made sense.

But it happend, Lisanna "died" and Natsu had to get over her. This doesn't mean forget her tho, as I said, Natsu LOVES his family and friends, forgetting about lisanna just because she died would not make any sense. It takes time to accept death, and after Igneel's disappearance, the death of lisanne hit him, HARD.

The only thing he could do was getting over her, but not forgetting her.

And that's when Lucy comes into the picture.

She keeps bumping into him, buys him food for "no reason" and talks all mighty and good about his family, basically, she gives him good vibes. He takes her to FT and for some reason she follows him everywhere and before he knows it, he wants to partner up with her.

This is development by natsu's part, he is ready to open up to new people (Lucy) and pretty much they become attached to the hip, because "she is nice", yeah, that's his reason.

Lisanna wasn't meant to come back, mashima himself said so, the only reason they brought her back was because the animation staff preasured him to because they liked her. NaLi is not happening because Mashima never had anything planned for her, and I'm not saying this because I'm a NaLu fan, it's just facts. Thats why she is so useless in the manga, because mashima doesn't know what to do with her. She is just there.

-.-.-.-.-.-.-

Let's beging with the whole suicide thing

I want to clarify that this is MY PERSPECTIVE, you might agree or disagree with me and thats completely fine.

Let me beging with one thing, and that is that natsu IS NOT SUICIDAL.

He wants to live his life at the fullest and he looks forward to the future.

Then why do I say he wanted to kill himself? because when lucy "died", he was so full of grief that he just didn't care any more.

One thing that they make clear is that the demons of zeref, once awaken, have only one thought in their minds: KILLING ZEREF

Lucy's "death" is what awoke END, Natsu felt so desperate and he was so full of grief that he literally abandoned his humanity.

She was gone and he blamed zeref, because if he had never started the war, she would be alive, that was enough for him to abandon his morals and look forward to kill someone.

Now comes the important part: his confrontation with grey

This part is really important because it shows that Natsu is aware of his actions.

If he really was completely possessed by END, then he would not have hesitated and warn grey about getting out of his way, he would have just killed him and keep going, but Natsu warns him several times

Until he doesn't give a damn anymore and attacks him.

Natsu was adamant about going after zeref and killing him, but he is also aware that if he does so, he will die. Zeref told him so himself.

But lucy is dead, so he just doesn't care anymore.

Igneel talked to him about looking at the future

But Lucy wasn't in that future anymore, so he can't look forward for it, because it died the moment Lucy did. if she wasn't in it, why bother? He knew that killing zeref was killing himself.

Gray literally saved Natsus life confronting him

This whole panel is foreshadowing to Lucy dying and Natsu wanting to die because of it

[rosemilkteass]

[an analysis of vyn richter's character]

// cn server spoilers, tw: discussions of su*cide, self destructive tendencies, su*cidal thoughts and ideation I've noticed something that has consistently been implicated in a lot of Vyn's card stories that I haven't seen too much discussion around. Particularly pertaining to Vyn Richter's mental health.

As a psychiatrist, a lot of Vyn's appearances will involve some discussions of psychology and the mental health of other characters. But of course, doctors are not immune from mental illness themselves, and there also happens to be several references to Vyn's own concerning mental state.

One of the first introductions we receive of Dr. Richter from his character story mentions that, in spite of being someone "who always observed the volatile human emotions from the outside, Vyn never expected himself to become one with the same emotions." Which immediately leaves us with the implication that Vyn is someone who experiences "volatile human emotions".

This was one of the very first descriptions I had read in regards to Vyn, and for the longest time, I was left perplexed as to what kind of volatile emotions Vyn was supposedly experiencing. I figured perhaps it was nothing noteworthy initially, but on the contrary, they were in fact rather vague with their implications in a way that could be quickly missed.

Vyn has the tendency to speak in metaphors and riddles, which can make it a little confusing when it comes to understanding what he's trying to say. But not only does the way Vyn speaks tend to be metaphorical, but the writing itself can include metaphorical scenarios that actually pose as a direct reflection of Vyn.

An instance of this was in Vyn Richter's first sweet chapter SSR, "Hungering Desire". Towards the end of the card story, there is a kitten (who suspiciously matches Vyn's traits, with white fur and golden eyes) that Rosa comes back to the lake to check up on. The kitten is sick, and weakly resting by a rock. Rosa says something along the lines of "I heard animals will choose to hide themselves when their life is coming to an end, and welcome death on their own..." and she then quickly bundles the kitten that seems to have given up with her coat.

Vyn refutes this by saying that the cat stayed in the area in an attempt to survive, to which Rosa thinks "Then have you also made a lot of similar attempts in the past too...?" and imagines a young Vyn in Svart. Instead of questioning Vyn, Rosa rephrases her question to ask if the kitten knows the spot it chose to hide in wasn't the best for it. Vyn then says the kitten had no better choice, but it thankfully met Rosa in the end to avoid its cruel fate.

It becomes quite clear that this kitten is supposed to represent Vyn. A kitten who fought for survival and had no choice but to sit alone until it succumbed to death, up until Rosa comes in and saves the kitten.

This card story was also paired with the release of Vyn's first sweet chapter, which simultaneously makes another similar implication. Vyn has to treat a patient who nearly jumped from a building to commit suicide, but she does not comply with Vyn. Towards the end of the sweet chapter, the woman reveals to Rosa that her reluctance to work with Vyn had nothing to do with him personally, but because when speaking with him, she felt that Vyn spoke to her like he related too much to her own circumstances. Hearing this made Rosa panic, and hurriedly run to be by Vyn's side.

It can't be by any coincidence that these two instances were released at the same time, and they raise a red flag with the state of Vyn's mental health. Both stories implicate that Vyn himself has dealt with suicidal thoughts to some degree, and judging by Rosa's reactions, she seems to have come to that conclusion as well.

There's also a lot of other behaviors that Vyn has the tendency to exhibit in stories that key in he's not entirely mentally well.

Vyn is also rather self-destructive and anxious; he frequently fidgets, his palms get cold and clammy, and there have been a number of instances where Vyn's breathing was described as being uneven and erratic when he panics. He also doesn't seem to care whenever he's injured, refusing medical attention and accepting injuries without flinching or complaining. Not only that, but he has also intentionally harmed himself in game.

There were at least three occurrences I can think of where Vyn hurt himself knowingly out of guilt or in order to seek comfort and validation:

One of the more well-known instances was when Vyn pepper sprayed himself in the eyes because he was ashamed of his own actions towards Rosa, intentionally punishing himself.

In "Hungering Desire", Vyn had also expressed that he wished to get sick to experience being taken care of. As sweet as the sentiment was to desire Rosa's care, it really can't be said it was all that healthy of him to desire sickness for the sake of seeking comfort, especially when coupled with the implications of the kitten later on in the card story.

In Main Story Ch. 11 Part 2, Vyn exhibits self-destructive behavior yet again to a much more dangerous degree, going so far as to drinking tea that he knew was poisoned (by someone else) with insecticide after being called out by Rosa, having to get his stomach pumped at the hospital.

And most recently in the CN Server, we actually have an explicit story of Vyn being suicidal in The Last Dragonbreath, this card even making parallels to another card in Tears of Themis's present timeline. He's afraid of losing control and believes he should die, ultimately making Rosa kill him. Vyn also rips out his own dragon scales without much of a reaction, similar to how he behaves canonically with his injuries.

The parallel card in question is actually his Top-Up SSR, "Aromatic Dream". This card was quite possibly one of the most explicit instances where Vyn's suicidal ideation and thoughts show through. He experiences insomnia for a couple of days after dealing with a case where a friend of his killed himself after feeling as though he was losing control of himself, even though he seemed alright and was in a happy relationship. Vyn mentions his fear of going "mad" during his relationship with Rosa, revealing that his insomnia arose because he was afraid of repeating the same fate as his friend whose circumstances felt similar to his own (i.e. killing himself too).

All of these scenarios in game are just the ones that I have seen thus far, and it's entirely possible that there are more stories or that I might have missed any hints in earlier cards. They don't appear in the most explicit fashion, which can make it difficult to catch with everything else that happens in Vyn's stories, but it happens far too often to merely be coincidental.

Though Vyn expresses that he's gotten better after studying psychology himself, with the abusive environment he grew up in and the way he behaves in the present, it's not difficult to imagine how his mental health must have been from his child to teen years.

Vyn is a self-destructive character that struggles with his own mental health. While he does self-evaluations to keep himself under control and most likely showed improvement through his relationship with Rosa, it certainly still peers through from time to time.

[tangledbea]

I really appreciate how Lance doesn't really have the same orphan angst as Eugene and Cassandra. He grew up in an orphanage and he seems fine with it.

Ah yes. The "Rapunzel Collects Orphans" phenomenon. Dude, you have no idea how much I love that about Lance.

I hate the narrative that orphans need to know who their real parents are, whether it's their personal desire or because the narrative thinks it's best. Don't get me wrong, I don't mind it happening sometimes, and until Cassandra's parentage was revealed, I liked that the group had a wide array of experiences:

Eugene grew up in the orphanage and hated it. He didn't seem to mind not knowing who his parents were, or if he did, he kept it to himself. (There is test animation for the movie where he's telling Rapunzel about his dad, but that's obviously not canon, because test animation definitely doesn't equal canon. It's not even a deleted scene, just... a variation of the script with scratch voices that someone learning the ropes used as practice.) It's not until the series that he confesses that he ever thought about his parents, and that he feels abandoned by them. In the movie, all he really hated about it was being poor and being stuck in life. What he idolized about Flynnigan Rider with wealth and freedom. Oh, and popularity. One gets the impression that he wasn't popular as a kid, and wanted everyone to love him (as you woulda folk hero).

Pascal knew his mother, and remembers her dying. He was basically adopted right away by Rapunzel, who had less of a maternal bond with him and more of a "two kids against the world" bond with him.

Cassandra (until the reveal) didn't have any real memories of her parents. She just knew she'd been abandoned. But she, too, was adopted right away, and unlike Eugene, she does have memories of being separated from her parents and left behind. It's clear in "Cassandra v. Eugene" that the abandonment really scarred her, though.

Between Kiera and Catalina, only Kiera seems particularly vested in finding her parents, but she gives that up pretty fast after her run in with the Daylight Thieves, accepting that Catalina is her family, now. (Fun Fact: When Ricky Roxburgh wrote that episode, he originally had Kiera standing over her parents' graves at the end of the ordeal, so she knew for a fact they were dead, but Disney thought that was too macabre and had them change it. Also, those two butterflies that show up several times during the episode? They were supposed to represent her parents' souls.)

Catalina and Lance, though? Whether they knew their parents or not, whether they know why they're orphans or not, they don't seem to mind. They both live in the now and accept their family as those who are around them, those who are kind to them. That's good enough for them.

[dragonmasterhiccup]

"Because I can, and, uh..." She managed to stop herself from completely speaking out what was on her mind this time, thankfully, of 'Because I like how soft it is.' "...I-It looked a bit...tangled..for a second, but I was wrong...heh..."

As he copied her own words, all she could do was softly smile at him, slightly narrowing her eyes with a faint shake of her head. She didn't know what it was about him that made her smile more than usual, but she was starting to enjoy it. That, and she discovered she liked the sound of his laughter.

Just a little.

-------------

Freya listened attentively to everything Hiccup said, inspecting the flowers in her braid as best as she could. She had to admit, Ayla did do a pretty decent job for putting them in so quickly. Her movements of fidgeting with her hair began to slow down the more she heard what he dealt with, her eyes settling back on his face while he talked.

She was stunned at the amount of months it took, blinking in surprise at the number. "..Eight months..!?" She muttered, letting out a small quivering breath at the knowledge of how long the process was for his leg to heal. Pursing her lips, she began to become more angry with herself, and that humongous dragon who caused all of this. Why did she treat him with such disdain for the last five years? Before the Red Death conspired, her younger teenage-self would always..ignore Hiccup, pass by him as though he weren't there.

With him being in the forge so much, that was the only way Freya could tell that he was still alive, not being taken by a dragon. Due to her upbringing by her father, she viewed Hiccup as a person not to be, to avoid becoming that at all costs. So what if she didn't actually want to harm a dragon? She was supposed to do it because it's what they were all raised to do. She tried to push him as far away from her as possible, not wanting him to distort her vision of 'being the best viking', mostly to make her dad proud of her.

It wasn't hard to do so. They weren't close. They hardly interacted with one another. The times they did, she was in the forge, learning the basics for her own sake of gaining more knowledge. Freya made it a very clear point to him that she didn't want to hang around him, although it wasn't as harsh as it was after he brought the dragons to Berk.

Thanking him for the flower, she ignored the thoughts that wanted to hold his hand instead, the weird, fluttery feeling coming right back to hit her in her chest as her finger brushed against his. Once it was secured in her grasp, she lightly twirled the flower; it was a yellow one, the petals small and bright. She felt herself beginning to smile at his comment of 'all of Berk's animals' acting strange, "Aren't you the Dragon Master guy here? I assumed you 'had a way with animals', like everyone says..!"

Settling her gaze on the flower, she continued to spin in it in her hands, "In all seriousness, though, you're...very strong for what you went through, y'know. Not everyone has the guts to stand up to an enormous dragon the size of a mountain to save a whole island of people... I'm realizing that now.." She mumbled the last part, her brows lowering at the thought of the pain he went through physically, as well as internally.

Not wanting to fester Hiccup with her concerns, Freya slowly began to playfully smirk at an idea that crossed her mind. "How about this? You accept this flower as another form of my.. apology for how I behaved towards you in the past?" Not waiting for a proper response, she leaned forward and quickly placed the flower behind his ear, close to where his two braids were. She knew something so small like that couldn't make up for what she did, or anyone for the matter, but she hoped it still got the message across that she was truly sorry, and that was one first step to show that.

"Some flowers are supposed to represent peace...so, y'know.." She shrugged, earnestly fighting off the urge to ruffle his hair again, "Truce..?" Not having the strength to fight off the smile that was now visible, she lightly rocked back and forth on the heels of her feet, not understanding why she could get so..childish around him.

Ayla hastily interrupted them with a gleeful squeal, excitedly placing her hands over her mouth in shock, "Oh my goodness! Did you just put that in his hair!?" She squealed once more, jumping in the water as Blaze tilted his head at his rider, wondering what all the commotion was about, "You guys are so in loveee!" She sang the last word, spinning where she stood as she didn't see her flustered older sister stomp over to her with a revengeful, menacing, grin.

Finally turning around to notice her, Ayla shrieked in terror at the sudden appearance of Freya, attempting to run away but utterly failing as the young girl's waist was grabbed, forcing her up with her legs kicking the air. Both of them erupted into fits of laughter as Freya spinned her for a moment, Blaze watching it all as his tail slowly wagged, wanting to join in on the fun. Trying to copy them, the Sand Wraith began to walk in a circle, soon rapidly chasing after his own tail with a grin.

Despite her current situation, Ayla managed to briefly yell out to the Chief's son: "Hiccup! C'mon ! You gotta help me here!" She giggled, grasping in what air she could as Freya tickled her sides.

"Well, yeah. Including getting used to the prosthetic. If I have it on too long even now it can get sore or ache, but I try to make sure I don't overdo it."

Rubbing the back of his neck, he tried to downplay it a bit, seeing how upset she'd gotten from his answer. "Really, it, it could've been worse. Gobber and Gothi said if I had lost my knee too, it would have taken a whole lot longer... Plus, I'm stubborn, I--I didn't like not being able to get around easily..."

It had been rough at first, waiting for the burns to heal, his stump took even longer, given what needed to be done to salvage what they could.

Hiccup was grateful he had been unconscious through it all, it meant he didn't remember...though afterwards he'd get flashes of it in a nightmare.

Toothless had been there for Hiccup to lean on, both physically and emotionally too. There were times he'd forgotten, getting out of bed in a rush, going to step forward with a leg that was no longer there.

Other times, he'd push through despite the prosthetic pinching or just being generally uncomfortable. He'd always regret it the next day, being unable to use it at all due to the ache that it resulted in.

His mind was brought back to the present as their fingers brushed when she took the flower, causing him to feel an impossible to ignore spark.

"Oh, not everyone says that!" He shook his head. "I can only show them that they can trust us. What I can't do is stop them from playing, which...I think that's all they see it as," he shrugged, "Contrary to what the twins say, I'm not some magical wizard. I'm just...me."

At her words, his eyes flicked up to her face, a little surprised.

He had been terrified facing the Red Death...but knowing Toothless had his back helped immensely. His father giving him his approval gave Hiccup the surge of courage he needed.

"...Not everyone has a Night Fury on their side." He spoke quietly, his eyes down. "It was either me, or... everyone. It really was no contest..." It wasn't just because he'd learned so much more about dragons than the others, but... "It was my fault that they found the nest in the first place. I...I was the one who put everyone in danger, and...I had to fix it. I had to try."

His eyes met hers again, and before he could truly process her words, she had tucked the flower into his hair.

A warm smile growing, he nodded. "Truce."

In truth, he'd forgiven her a long time ago. But it looked like she was on the path to forgiving herself...he would help her do that, however he could.

His attention quickly turned to Ayla, hearing her squeal. At first, he was worried she'd been hurt or scared by something, but that quickly dissipated as she teased them. His face turned a bit red, and he quickly looked away, hoping Freya wouldn't notice...

... because he was starting to suspect that he was falling in love with Freya.

He couldn't look away though as he heard the two laugh, a smile forming on his own face as he watched them.

Jogging over to them, he replied, "I'm coming, Ayla!"

Truthfully he wasn't sure how he could help, but he wanted to be part of this happy moment too.

Picking Ayla up out of Freya's arms, he set her down behind him, and heroically instructed her, "Run to one of the dragons! I'll hold her off!" As he turned to face Freya, a wide grin on his face he added, "You'll never get past me!"

[blue-howlite]

"Our pretty thing"

(McMillan twins x GN!Reader, one shot)

It was supposed to be a normal evening, but if you're close to Forgotten Hill nothing can be normal.

Warnings: kidnapping, pet and owner dynamics if you squint not too hard, mentions of gore, generally dark content, being referred to as "it", chasing and hiding, being treated like an object, the guy from Little Cabin In The Woods, mentions of witch-y rituals, English isn't my first language.

Author note: I received (and lost) an ask about the McMillan twins and a reader that meets them and doesn't start as their friend. So... this is like really dark so I hope you weren't looking for a cute slice of life trope. If you were, just send a new ask, I can always write more for my favourite creeps.

You had planned this evening for weeks. There was going to be the meteor shower of the year, at least according to the "experts" on social media. You had found the perfect little clearing, in the middle of nowhere; no light from nearby cities would ruin the night. There was a town a few miles away, Forgotten Hill. According to the GPS it was just a five minute drive, close enough if you needed it. You laid the blanket down in the middle of the clearing, glancing at the woods around you. No sounds came from there, you probably scared the animals living there with the noise of your car when you arrived. It was peaceful, and the night wasn't even too cold. As you laid down on the blanket, you thought it was really the best night for stargazing. Soon you saw your first shooting star of the night, with a long, white tail that disappeared almost immediately. Another followed, just a few minutes later. Then there were several, like distant white lines running across the sky; your eyes couldn't take them all in, there were just too many, and it was beautiful. It lasted several hours, and you're not sure when you drifted off.

When you opened your eyes again, you couldn't see the stars. Instead, a face was hovering over yours. It was disfigured and too big for a normal person. You stared into the thing's eyes for a few seconds, then let out a scream and rolled on your side, to get away from it. You got up and ran to your car, but the thing was quicker and blocked your path, standing in front of you. Now that you gave it a better look it seemed human, but something was terribly wrong with its proportions. You stepped back, trying to think quickly. Talking to it didn't cross your mind as an option, you were too scared, your throat felt tight. So you ran in the opposite direction, into the woods, hoping that the creature would lose sight of you. It didn't, as you heard its footsteps behind you. There was some distance between it and you, but it was too fast and you were still dizzy from your nap in the clearing. It was approaching, getting closer, your eyes tried looking around to find somewhere to hide- then you collided into something, since you weren't looking where you were going.

A hand grabbed your arm, supporting you as you almost fell back. You got pulled up, towards what, or who, you bumped into. As you looked at them, your blood froze. Staring back at you was a crow, and it took you a few seconds to realise it was a mask. You tried pulling yourself free, now afraid of the stranger, but they easily kept their hold on you.

«Leaving so quickly? The show is just about to start!» he, a man by his voice, said in an almost mocking tone. Then a twig snapped, and you whipped your head around, remembering your pursuer. But the creature was nowhere to be found. Instead, another masked person stood. His mask seemed to represent some sort of bug, but you didn't recognize it. However the red jacket made you think of some general from the history books. A thought hit you, and you relaxed a little.

«Is there some sort of fair going on around here? I came here for the meteor shower, I didn't know about it.» you said, with an awkward chuckle. That was the logical answer; the small town nearby you saw on the GPS probably had some sort of festival going on. You looked back at the crow masked man, and noticed the black robes. They were in costumes, clearly. You didn't remember hearing of scare attractions close by, but they were probably scare actors. The one who chased you was surely a colleague of theirs.

«A fair?» the crow man tilted his head to the side. A great actor, you told yourself, he was really unsettling.

«Did you come here alone?» asked the other with the bug mask. His voice was very similar to the crow man, you noticed.

«Well-» your brain was already realising how foolish you were to relax. It was the middle of nowhere, in the woods. Both men were relaxed, at ease, despite finding you, a stranger wandering in the woods. Until you got back to your car, you weren't safe.

«My friends went a bit ahead, but they're waiting for me.» you lied, hoping it would sound believable. The bug man walked closer to you, seemingly staring at you and blocking you between him and the other guy. You looked down, trying to calm yourself.

«Why are you lying?» he asked, lifting your chin up with a hand. Now your hands were shaking, as the two guys had trapped you between them. You tried responding, but another sound got your attention, and theirs too. It was a roar, coming from far in the woods.

«Ruth's ritual worked, it seems.» said the bug man. «Which means we can leave.» said the crow man, tightening his grip on your arm. The other hand, the one holding your chin up, was still there, firm. The bug man turned his attention to you again.

«You're in luck. We don't have to get rid of you. Not right now, anyway.» he let go of your face, and you could almost hear a smirk in his tone. You were terrified now. Masks and rituals? Getting rid of you? This was a cult, that's how it looked to you.

«M-My friends are waiting for me, I should really go, or they'll get worried-» a cackle from the crow man interrupted you. He seemed amused by your attempt to lie again. The bug man also let out a soft chuckle. You took this chance, now that their guard was lowered, and bolted to your right. The crow man's nails left scratches on your arm when you tugged yourself free, but you ignored the pain and just ran, trying to put distance between yourself and the two strangers.

You heard a laugh, but you were unsure which one of them was. Their voices were too similar to tell them apart. Then footsteps, quickly approaching. Twigs breaking. You dared to look back, just to see the bug man looking back, chasing you. The crow man was nowhere in sight. This worried you. When you turned again to see where you were going, the crow man had somehow materialised himself ahead of you, you'd soon run into him like you did before. You tried turning in another direction but you slowed down to do that. The bug man caught you, holding you tight from behind. «That was very rude!» said the crow man in a mocking tone, walking up to you. The other man was holding your arms to your sides, keeping you still. The crow man got right in front of you; then you felt a sudden pain to your head, and everything went black.

When you woke up again, you weren't in the woods anymore. You were in bed, in a dimly lit room. Your head hurt a lot. It felt like someone smashed it against a brick wall. Then you remembered: the woods, the masked men, how you tried to run...

You sat up. That wasn't your room, so you assumed they had kidnapped you. But something about it... looked like a hospital room. Did you maybe just faint, and they brought you here? Maybe you had just been half asleep and those men weren't actually half as dangerous as you thought. That's what you tried to tell yourself, hoping things would just work out.

«How are you feeling?» said a voice you recognized. The bug man was sitting close to the door, staring at you through his mask. Every hopeful thought vanished. You noticed some long, sharp things on his fingers, like claws. They were blood stained.

He patiently waited for your answer, and you cleared your throat. «My head hurts.»

He nodded, as if expecting it. «Forgive Nathan, he can be a little impulsive at times. He will apologize to you, I promise.» he said, sounding... oddly reassuring. So Nathan was the name of the crow man. It somehow eased you, knowing they had actual names and weren't just monsters with masks. But then you knew that you didn't just spontaneously faint, you were made unconscious.

«I'm colonel Ethan McMillan. The other person you met is Nathan McMillan.» he said without you even asking, maybe noticing the change in your expression.

«Where am I?» you asked, gripping the edge of the mattress to suppress the small shaking of your hands. If Ethan noticed that or not you couldn't tell, his mask was still hiding his face.

«Forgotten Hill's hospital. You will stay here for some time.» he got up from his seat, then opened the door and glanced your way. «Respect the rules, and everything will be fine. If I catch you out of your room, there will be consequences.»

With that he left, closing the door behind himself.

You were shaking, confused and terrified. A few hours ago you were stargazing, and now you were confined to a hospital room by a stranger with sharp blades on his fingers who threatened you if you tried leaving. You stayed there, raking your brain for anything that could get you out of that situation. You were so deep in thought, you jumped when someone knocked on the door.

«Cute thing, are you awake?» he asked. The voice was the same as Ethan, but there was something else to it. Something different. Nathan came in without waiting for your answer, then closed the door.

«I apologise for hitting you, cute thing. I thought you would run away again.» he said, sitting on the chair Ethan left. He looked around, then sighed. «This place is depressing. I'm not surprised Ethan's patients want to leave all the time.»

You didn't respond to him, afraid of doing something wrong. "He can be a little impulsive sometimes", Ethan's voice echoed in your head. You were afraid to do something wrong and tick Nathan off. Your head still hurt after the hit in the woods.

Nathan focused back to you. You couldn't see his face behind the mask, and by now it was starting to annoy you. «Do you want to leave, cute thing?» he asked, with a somewhat teasing tone. You were caught by surprise.

«Ethan said that-» you started, but Nathan scoffed.

«Ethan says a lot of things and has a lot of rules. I'm not Ethan, I'm Nathan. I'm sure he mentioned it, right?» when you nodded, he sighed.

«I hoped to introduce myself on my own... But he probably did not expect me to come here and talk to you. Which is why I will ask again, do you want to leave this place?»

This time you stopped to consider it. By how he was phrasing it, it sounded like Nathan wanted to sneak you out, without letting Ethan know. That would have meant that once out, you could attempt an escape more easily if only one of them was following you.

«I do. Please.»

Nathan chuckled and stood up from the chair. He didn't get close to you, but raised a hand with his palm up, inviting you. You got up from the bed, walked towards the masked man and took his hand. Nothing bad happened, and you relaxed a bit. Then he closed his hand over yours and gave it a light tug, pulling you closer. The eyes of the mask staring back at you were unsettling to say the least.

Nathan opened the door and led you outside, carefully looking around. He was definitely sneaking you out without Ethan's permission. Not like you cared, as long as you got out. You two walked down a corridor, then in an old lift. You noticed the blood stains and scratches on the metal wall, but tried to not think about it and suppressed the shivers in your body. Nathan just stared at your hand, opening and closing it in what seemed to be fascination.

«I can never get this kind of control over my puppets; their fingers break as soon as I start adding the thread and wood.» he commented, flexing your fingers. It was pretty weird, having a crow face staring at your hand. It made you feel like he could just bite your fingers off any moment as if they were worms.

The elevator got to the ground floor, and Nathan led you to the exit door. He fiddled with the door a bit, working on some sort of code. Then he opened it and pulled you out with him.

It was dark outside, it had only been a few hours since you were stargazing. Around you was the town, small and deserted. You couldn't see anyone around. Plus you couldn't tell the direction your car was. Your escape plan was slowly falling apart in your head as you realised you would not be able to get away from Nathan.

«What is wrong, pretty thing?» he asked, with that mocking tone. He pulled you away from the front of the Hospital, and towards a specific direction, or so it seemed. As you followed him, you noticed shadows moving around him. You squinted your eyes to see it better; it had a pair of white spots on one end, and its body was a bent shape, like a reversed V standing on one of its legs. It didn't look human or like anything you'd ever seen before. Just as you were about to ask Nathan about it, the shadow disappeared.

As you kept walking, you soon saw a building. It was big, and there seemed to be some light inside that was shining through the windows.

«Welcome to the Puppet Theatre! This is where I, the Puppeteer, work!» Nathan said with a certain enthusiasm, opening the door and leading you in. You thought of bolting away while he stepped in, but he was still holding your hand, firmly. So you walked in and let Nathan close the door behind you, just to pull you again, past the ticket office. A puppet started greeting you both, but Nathan ignored it and just pushed the door open, leading you in the actual theatre. Then he did something you didn't expect; he took his mask off.

You thought that under the mask there would be a hideous face, maybe scarred or deformed, like the one of the creature that chased you first in the woods. Instead, it was a normal, human face. He was way younger than you thought he'd be, probably around your age. Brown eyes, brown messy hair and pale, smooth skin. In different circumstances, you'd even think he was handsome. You didn't realise you were staring, until he chuckled.

«You look surprised, pretty thing.» he said, tilting his head to the side with a curious expression. You blinked a few times and looked away, pretending to be interested in the place. You should have been interested in what was around you, to find a way to escape or fight back. «It's nicer than it looked from the outside.» You managed to say. Nathan hummed, as if pleased with your answer. Truthfully, the place looked kinda good, if you could get past the fact that it seemed abandoned. And a nice music was playing, a bit eerie but still enjoyable; you could even have danced to it.

But now your exhaustion was catching up with you; luckily your head didn't hurt as much as before, but it wasn't fine. Nathan was about to start dragging you around again, but you needed to rest.

«Nathan-»

The way his expression lit up startled you. It wasn't the cold amusement you saw just moments before, he seemed intrigued now. Just by you saying his name.

«That is my name.» he said, staring at you. You nodded, a bit unsettled.

«Yes, well, I- I'm tired.» was all you managed to say, fear and dizziness washing over you.

His eyes softened a little, but there was a glint of something in them, something dangerous... you couldn't let your guard down yet.

«Is that so? But I want to show you more, pretty thing.» he said, with a little smirk on his lips. You had to admit it; he was terribly attractive when he did that.

«But we could make an arrangement, yes? I will let you rest, if you let me study those pretty hands of yours. I rarely get someone with such pretty hands unscathed, I want to make them for my puppets.»

You thought about it. It didn't seem unfair, and if he wanted to just see your hands, why not comply? After that you could find a way out of there more easily, once you were rested enough. You nodded, and he led you through some corridors and doors. The more you walked, the more tired you felt... the more you realised how stupid that was. When you saw Nathan was leading you to a basement, you started fearing for what he meant by "studying" your hands. There were blood splatters on the walls, and chains. Nathan let go of you to walk to the wall, and you took the chance. You ran back from where you came, closing the doors behind you as you passed them, hoping to slow him down. But you couldn't remember exactly all the turns you took, so you started just randomly running down the corridor, hoping to find an exit. Your blood froze when you heard the sound of something slamming against one of the doors far behind you. As you turned your head to look back, a hand grabbed your arm, pulling you forward.

Soon you realised you were in Ethan's grasp, in the corridor you found yourself in. He was wearing his mask.

«I told you not to leave your room.» he said in a reprimanding whisper. There was a hint of something else in his voice, something akin to worry, but you didn't really focus on that as you could hear Nathan approaching.

«I'm sorry! But please let me go-» as the last door was about to go down, Ethan pushed you into a closet. «Stay. There.» His voice was commanding and his tone firm; he would not accept disobedience this time. The closet doors closed in front of you, and you covered your mouth as you heard the last door go down; Nathan's steps quickly approached.

«You let the pretty thing escape, I presume?»

It was Ethan's voice, you could tell.

«It seemed to be behaving well and to be too tired to try an escape. I misjudged it, but it can't have gotten far.» Nathan's voice was further from Ethan's, but it was still too close for your liking. You were forcing yourself to stay still and control your breath, terrified that the smallest sound could give you away.

«Let's search the building then.» Ethan's voice, again. A terrible doubt crawled up your spine: what if he was about to just give you back to Nathan?

One set of footsteps started growing distant, but another was getting close. You held your breath as the closet door opened; but Ethan's bug mask was staring back at you. He grabbed your arm and pulled you out of the closet; Nathan was nowhere in sight. But you were still shaking, and Ethan noticed that. With a sigh, he took his mask off. You took a shaky breath when you saw a face identical to Nathan's- then it made sense to you, how similar their voices were. They were twins. And one immediate difference you could spot, was Ethan's more disheveled look. Black circles around his eyes, and if Nathan's hair were messy, Ethan's were even messier.

«Will you obey this time?»

The fact that the mask was off felt somewhat reassuring. You managed a weak «Yes», your hands still shaking.

Ethan gave you an approving nod, then led you down the corridor, in the opposite direction from where Nathan went. He was still holding your arm, firm but not too tight. You tried to not look around too much, your head was already spinning as it was. Your focus was all on Ethan, to make sure to match his pace and follow the turns he took.

You're not sure when you got out of the theatre and into the woods, but there you were, under the night sky again, with tall trees all around you. Ethan stopped, and you almost bumped into him. He faced you and lifted your chin, careful not to scratch you with the long metal claws on his fingers. He turned your face side to side, his eyes scrutinizing every one of your features. One of his fingers was resting on the side of your neck, feeling your pulse.

«Your exhaustion is catching up to you. You have fifteen minutes at best, before you collapse.» he declared, but he didn't let go of your face yet. One of his metal claws grazed your throat; if on purpose or by accident, you couldn't tell.

«I haven't seen a combination of skin tissue, bone structure and eye aspects as intriguing as yours in a long time. It would be a shame if Nathan disfigured it before I managed to emulate it for my future projects.»

Your head was starting to feel heavy, understanding what he was implying was too hard for you. It sounded vaguely flattering though.

«And it would be a shame if Ethan took apart your perfect hands before I learned how to emulate them for my puppets.» a voice sounded behind you, startling you back into a more awake state.

Nathan was just a few paces behind you. You weren't sure when he got there, but Ethan didn't even flinch. He just moved his clawed hand away from your face, and looked at his brother. You didn't turn to see him. Instead, you looked at the ground, at your feet. Everything was starting to spin in your vision, it made you feel nauseous.

«What solution do you propose then, brother?» asked Ethan, his voice stern. Something told you he wasn't going to give you up to Nathan. It was a small comfort, you didn't know what his "projects" involved. Nathan walked closer, placing himself right behind you. He raised your other arm, the one his brother wasn't holding, and took your hand.

«I won't turn the pretty thing into a puppet, and you won't turn it into one of your creatures. We'll share it, taking turns studying it.»

The way they talked about you sent chills down your spine. They were both holding you, yet it was as if you weren't even there; they talked about sharing you as if you were a treat they just had to break in two so that both had a piece.

Ethan hummed, a small sound that didn't escape you.

«It seems like a fair deal. But first, the pretty thing should rest.»

A buzzing sound invaded your ears, as your vision started fading. The last thing you heard, before you collapsed, were three words; you couldn't be sure which one of them spoke them, their voices muffled.

«Our pretty thing»

[doom-nerdo-666]

(Source is a Dexerto article)

Normally i wouldn't comment on leak/rumor stuff because there's always a chance of it being fake and it's better to wait when something is confirmed but the idea of Doomguy ever being in Mortal Kombat is interesting.

He's an iconic character that somehow wasn't in a fighting game yet and both Doom and MK are iconic gaming franchises with roles in videogame violence.

(And i guess both series having digitized real stuff like actors/models being used for graphics or Midway)

I do hope that Doom's portrayal comes off as "series celeberation" in a way and not just based on Eternal.

That was fine in Fortnite because it's clear crossovers there are either promotions or for the sake of memes i guess.

And with Smash, most people had low expectations and accepted the Mii outfit (Which also had the 2016 pistol).

Though you look at how Smash fused both Snakes to represent MGS and a certain mod i don't shut up about and you'll kinda get why i bring this up.

It did made me think: If Doomguy was in a 2D fighting game before, would that serve as reference for a potential Smash moveset?

(Probably not)

Something kinda funny is how people said Eternal's gore was too cartoony/safe yet with the recent MK games, there's people saying they're too realistic/have too much focus and then there's stories of devs being forced to look at real gore for reference (Like with TLOU2).

I remember seeing someone say Doomguy could be an Xbox exclusive as MS' response to when MK 2011 had Kratos in the PS3.

That did reminded me of how Halo in fightning games was either the Arbiter in Killer Instinct or an original female character in Dead or Alive (SPARTAN-458).

(I guess Chief was in Brawlhalla now that i think about it)

(I do still think a Halo and Doom crossover should be an FPS)

I can also see some people not like the idea of Doomguy being "ripped and torned" by other characters because "he's supposed to be the strongest".

Even though 2016 had first person death animations, Eternal brought back the pain noises and you know, classic bloody face, pain sounds etc.

Why else do you think Duke Nukem called him a "Doomed" space marine?

I wonder what a trailer will be like: Imagine a basic sprite animation based off the older MK games where Scorpion's about to do a fatality on Sub-zero before a BFG9000 shows up and kills him instead and then it switches to modern graphics/designs so Scorpion faces up Doomguy.

[radioactivemelody]

Idolatry in Homura's and Madoka's relationship.

Idolatry: worship of idols. very great admiration or respect for someone, often too great.

It may be or not be a grand aspect that is shown throughout the series but trust me, it is there and it's there since the beginning. To understand what I am trying to explain here, let's begin with probably the most obvious example of idolatrism towards someone: Mami Tomoe.

By the time of span from the first to third episode, Mami is shown to be the "perfect Puella Magi and what they truly should represent". She fights for justice, protecting innocent civilians from the evil known as Witches and that is exactly the image Madoka and Sayaka creates of her until her death. On the third episode, when Madoka is saying that she wants to be just like her, Mami herself basically says she's not worthy of being someone's idol. Even after seeing Mami's true feelings and later, her death, Madoka still does see her in such a "holy" light; it's expected since that was the image Mami left for them and they culminated. And by culmination, from the duo, Sayaka is the only one who has a much more pure picture of her mentor in her head because she didn't saw Mami's true side like Madoka did. With that, Sayaka tries to continue Mami Tomoe's (impossible) legacy and we all know how things end.

In the case of Homura and Madoka, it's a bit more complex. I won't explain too much on Homura's side because it's pretty damn clear and obvious and I will be just repeating things that has been said and regurgitated through 10 years. But Homura's idolatrism of Madoka starts on the first timeline, more specifically, when she gets saved by her from a Witch. There, her initial picture of Madoka drastically changes - the sweet and kind girl she met at school to this (sweet and kind) fighting heroine who saved her life. I could say it's kind of a pipeline: Madoka wants to be just like Mami. Homura wants to be just like Madoka. All those mental pictures were created by admiration and idolatry. And by idolatry, comes expectations.

Before I talk about that, let me talk about Madoka's side now. She is a girl who normally tries to see the good and bright side of things and this shines perfectly with her relationship with Homura. Madoka tries to constantly deny that Homura is "not that great of a person", no matter how much Sayaka believes that. She saw her hurting Kyubey and being the one faulted for causing Mami's death and yet, Madoka never stopped treating Homura with kindness; That is highlighted on episode four. Meanwhile Sayaka treats Homura with harshness because of what happened with Mami, Madoka doesn't because she thinks it wasn't her fault (that is partially true) and therefore, maintains a picture of Homura being "a hero" for saving their lives from the Witch. This picture is maintained until the end of the anime.

The biggest shatter of Homura's expectations towards Madoka is when she makes her wish and sacrifices herself. That was not what she wanted, that was not what she expected. Madoka wasn't supposed to do that. And just like we all know, this is one of the main factors of why Rebellion happened. Just like Madoka had her expectations of Homura's shattered as well. Homura is not a bad person, then why she would do that? Why would she rip her from her status so callously? We still haven't seen Madoka's feelings on this subject and I truly hope the fourth movie discusses it, but I do believe Madoka's entire mental picture of Homura will change. Not in a hateful, bitter way but it will change in some way.

This idolatry, high regard they hold on each other so much it's what keeps the cycle going on. One day, they need to learn and dismantle the "perfect" mental image both of them have or otherwise they will never reach a true consensus and this tug of war will have some serious consequences (more than it already has).

TL;DR: they need to sit down and talk. for real.

[hxhhasmysoul]

Since that famous Toujo anime fight clip is going around the web. You know the one from the recent episode.

It makes me wonder about your thoughts on additional scenes in the anime that wasn’t in the original manga. I won’t personally call them filler. But so far, from what I can tell, they are just used to extend a fight scene.

Unless there was also additional scenes that was added in the anime to flesh out the characters, however, I can’t think of any in the top of my head at the moment.

Do you mean Toudou's Takada moment? I don't love it but it didn't annoy me like other things Mappa does.

When it comes to additions I remember, there are surely extra scenes with Junpei, like his film club scene. These things were mentioned in the notes and turned into scenes and Gege was happy they were expended. There's more like that. And Gege wrote the juju strolls from the first season to also flesh out the characters, or they wrote the captions for the exchange event baseball game for it too.

And I'm happy for all these additions. The creation of JJK has been turbulent from the start. Juju was supposed to be cancelled after the first few chapters and the detention centre events, where Yuuji dies and Sukuna forms a vow with him, were moved forward from a later point in the story because Gege wanted Juju to have an ending in Yuuji's death. And you can kinda see it that from then on Juju starts to gradually speed up and that's so early in the story! It's very clear that the Juju we see now is not exactly the story Gege planned to write. There were also problems with their health later one. We don't know whether Shounen Jump hasn't interfered apart from trying to kill it in its infancy.

The problem with Mappa is that they really don't get tone right with many of their additions.

Like in season one they made a lot of stuff nastier, the camera lingers on Yuuji's poster and it's more porny than in the manga. It's the same when I think the second years list the reasons why there are more curses at certain times and these reasons are represented by ladies in bikinis holding signs, in the anime it's more of a focus and it's nastier. When Toudou asks about the type, ladies in porny poses linger on the screen while it's much tamer in the manga.

And while these are needles and pathetic changes, in season two Mappa doubles down on it in the fucking worst way possible. Enter the horny fanservice. Gojou is generally kinda an awful person, Mappa making his second fight with Jougo weirdly sexual makes him character even less appealing. The hair pulling in the Nanami scene kills the fucking mood of that scene. Same with the Chousou fanservice. And I really dislike all of these, the Chousou one in particular took me out of one of my favourite moments in the arc. I snorted and then just laughed at how awful that change was. It wasn't a happy laugh. And extending the brothers picnic moment didn't fully make up for it.

And here we come to Toudou. His addition is cute and funny, not the typical Mappa nasty. That's why I don't hate it. But I don't love it too. It again is kinda tone deaf. For me that moment didn't need to be made funny and cute. But it doesn't jar with Toudou as a character, while both the Nanami one and the Chousou one are just so not either of them. The Gojou one is needless but yeah, he did act creepily towards vocano head in the manga too in their first fight, but there's no creepy rubbing in the Shibuya fight. So like it's not out of character it's just meh.

Generally when the additions flesh out the characters more, they are nice and I enjoy them. But when it's just Mappa being horny on main I'd rather they didn't... And when it comes to extending fights, I don't care that much if it's just exchanging extra blows.

But I'm also a bad person to as about this, because I really never found Mappa's style of anime particularly appealing. I find it aesthetically extremely generic in most cases. I dislike what the Juju characters look like in the Mappa style, they loose a lot of their beauty to me. I find the JJK anime serviceable at best so I'm primed to poorly receive any off key addition by them. The sad truth is, that when the Juju episodes started to come out unfinished, I started liking them more because they gained some visual interest. They look a little more aesthetically pleasing, bolder. I will bemoan the moment they will get "finished", "polished"... because most if not all of their beauty will get "sanded" off.

[beetlebomb01]

I feel like I'm only recently actually learning about how I experience dysphoria.

For years before I realized I was trans my reason was that I wasn't dysphoric and didn't have any problem with being a guy, but a lot of that was just not knowing what dysphoria is, despite being in a position that I could've been exposed to what it means much easier than others. Just like many other people I had never heard of dysmorphia and mixed it up with dysphoria, thinking I was perfectly fine with being a guy because I thought I generally looked good.

After watching some trans YouTube videos, I eventually realized that the feeling that the person in the mirror wasn't me was not just that I was "immature" and that I wouldn't grow into it (at first I thought my personality would grow to match my body, but eventually the feeling became the norm and I forgot about it).

I think I've had bits of feeling dysphoric for a while, but I didn't really notice it before my egg cracked, bc I thought it was stress or some other factor. These moments aren't that common though, mostly because I don't have any image of myself in my head, while this is definitely partially aphantasia, it's also because I feel no connection to the "man in the mirror". Looking in the mirror normally feels like looking at a picture of someone else (I still never liked pictures of myself though).

I think that because I have trouble connecting how I look with myself, I don't feel dysphoric that often, since it isn't me that looks like that (and my voice still feels like an improvement on my voice before it dropped because used to hate how my voice sounded "squeaky" and I remember it as sounding kinda like it was constantly cracking). Recently I've started not only playing online games presenting more fem, a lot of this has been in VRChat, which works bc of how common it is for guys to use anime girl avatars, but even with that I still have realized how much my voice *doesn't* represent me, it's still fine talking in person, but actually having an image of my identity for it to be incongruent with has made it actually cause dysphoria.

Ik this is getting long, but the other major example is me actually trying (in private) to see myself more fem irl. Every once in a while I'm home alone for an extended period of time when I plan to shower, this gives me the opportunity to spend a bit before I shower to fuck around with my mom's makeup. It's usually a bit hard to do much since everything also needs to come off before I finish showering (or usually before I start in case someone gets home while I shower). Usually this doesn't do much for seeing myself in my reflection, and my hair also fucks it up, so I usually do it when I wear a hoodie so I can cover everything other than my face up, but since I want to be extremely cautious, I'm limited to what I know I can remove quickly. Recently I did this with some lipstick, and oh my god, after putting my hood up, I felt like I saw a little of myself in my reflection, I could see the girl who usually only shows up every once in a while for a passing moment before I look beyond the eyes of my reflection. I don't remember any other time I've genuinely smiled at my reflection, but seeing her, seeing myself more clear than ever before made it hard not to. I haven't done it again since, but I don't know that I would see myself again if I did, because I know if I had time to sit with it, to look closer than a meter away from the mirror, I would see all the imperfections. I wouldn't see myself, or worse, I would see a version of myself that is so distant it only barely registers as me.

I think it's hard to feel dysphoric, to feel like your image, your body and appearance, shouldn't be yours and hide who you are, when you can't realize that the body you see in the mirror is supposed to be you.

[thaimeiser]

I thought of something and I apologize if anyone pointed that out before, I swear I didn't see it and I'm not stealing your observation.

I was talking to a friend of mine about He Tian's and She Li's obssession towards Mo Guan Shan when I suddenly realized that Old Xian is way clever than I thought. And the meaning behind that conclusion is that they could represent an obssession, the feeling of possessiveness with another person, that at the same time that is very similar, the objective behind it is totally different.

In the begining of 19 Days I have to admit that I hated the relationship between HT and MGS because it was full of possessiveness, abuse, violence and threatens. I know MGS was totally wrong in the incident with Zhan Zheng Xi but I saw no reason to He Tian's continuous actions towards him. It was only with time and perseverence that I learned how to start really liking their relationship.

As I was discussing with my friend, HT's past is what made him behave like that. He didn't have a mother nor a father to actually care about him, only He Cheng but he was involved with the mafia, the thing HT hated the most so you can guess what type of teen he grew up to be. A person without almost any sense of love or affection, a person who wasn't familiar with the idea of what caring actually is. So when MGS stepped into his life he did to him the only thing he knew to do. Demonstrate his feelings through domination and possessive behaviour, because that was what life teached him to do/be. Being selfish and doing what he "needed" to get what he wanted.

I'm not gonna waste too much time talking about all the aspects about HT and MGS relationship, but in summary I can say that I'm really proud of our boys. I'm proud of HT for starting to realize that this wasn't the way it was supposed to be, he wasn't going to get MGS trust or love by being a total asshole and forcing the boy to like him. His character development is still on-going, he still gotta a lot to learn, sometimes we can forget but they're still teens. That fact won't erase the very bad things he did in the past, nor do I want it to because it all shows how much our boy has improved through time, but it shows that he can be very mature for boys his age.

Whilst we see the development of HT, we see the decay of She Li to his worst period. She Li's obssession with MGS can be clearlier than HT's because he isn't after MGS love, he is after MGS undoing. He wants to see the boy wrecked, destroid and he makes it very clear.

In my point of view based in what we could see about She Li's childhood, he's also from a complicated family. His parents seemed to argue a lot to the point where their kid was being taken care by some servants, and I suppose he grew up like HT, without enough love or affection. That made him cold and distant, and with a strange fascination for d*ath and hurting people/animals. He's described as a ps*cho. I can't confirm if he really is one, but his obssession and need to dominate and humilliate MGS is an enormous red flag.

In this chapter we can see the difference between him and MGS, how they were treated. I don't think jealousy is the best word to describe what he might have felt, cause I'm not sure if he's actually capable of feeling it, I'd rather say envyness. He's envy because that little boy was feeling and having everything he didn't get the chance to experiment. MGS was feeling pain, a sensation that She Li couldn't, and was being held caringly by his mother, another thing She Li didn't have.

She Li, then, found the opportunity and started to treat MGS like an animal, "his dog", so he could take out his anger and frustration on that lucky boy who had everything. I believe he enjoys seeing MGS miserable because that's the only moment where he can actually feel something. He must feel powerfull and proud of himself for making MGS look so pityfull.

And that is the biggest difference between HT's and She Li's obsession towards MGS.

While HT seeks for MGS attention, love and affection, She Li searches for his ruin so he himself can feel something.

HT feels a desire.

She Li feels envyness.

Even though they both have a similar past and a possessive obsession with the same boy, they followed extremely different paths, in which one can find hope and the other decay.

And I admire Old Xian for creating such similar, but at the same time, opposite characters.

Yet again I apologize if someone pointed that out before and I apologize for any errors, english is not my mother language.

[mocacheezy]

And the title of "Was so amusing I forgot he was supposed to represent a ruthless villain" goes to: ✨Beast Wars Megatron (1996)✨

[Show spoilers below, but you probably know that already.]

Extra note: I am a TF newbie. This is my opinion and I don't have all the details for the many continuities that exist. I just need to scream about a purple T-Rex.

As the shows main villain, he seems more comical than threatening, but during the second and third season he:

Cut out an immortal spark from a failed Maximal science experiment, and continuously used it to torture said experiment (both for his amusement AND practicality, since Rampage would destroy him otherwise)

Called a deformed protoform ugly, "with an ugly name to match its appearance", and called it useless since it is unable to transform.

(Yeah, the above doesn't sound bad or unusual by villain standards, but these are things that had me go "What the fuck, aren't you the theatre kid of a villain? What is this?!", so if it made me react like that it's on the list. The following things also contribute to my reaction)

Set up the before mentioned protoform to an impossible task of essentially killing all Maximals and bringing proof of their deactivation as a test of its competence (bring me their heads... Dramatic✨)

By calling it useless since "It can't even transform!", he is spitting on the name of his predecessor, the original Megatron

(I am atleast 90% certain that G1 Megatron (and any other Megatron really) would take a look at it, figure out if it can hold a gun/fight/be useful and let it fight. Can't even transform my ass, as long as it can be manipulated and/or fight for the Cons it doesn't matter if it can or can't transform you copper bitch!)

Decided to cut the Maximal science experiment's immortal spark in half to create a new Frankensteined transmetal super soldier.

In order to obtain more power he took the original Megatron's spark and "mingled" it with his. And by mingled, I mean he inserted it into his own spark chamber with his own spark and kept it there. Not intending to return it to the original frame most likely.

Until the very last episode of the third season, until the last 10 or so minutes, it looked like he was going to win. I am talking the whole "Are the good guys going to win?" kind of doubt on my end.

But the real kicker and the reason why I'm so shocked?

He was in character through all of this! He didn't get "more evil" or "crazier" or "ruthless" as the seasons progressed. He wasn't "meaner" or "less charismatic". He behaved precisely as he did in the first season, same dramatics in his movements and speech and all of that!

The only difference was that he was doing something actually threatening and villainous in front of us viewers!

That's what had me staring at the screen with wide eyes; the fact I got fooled by his personality and didn't perceive him as an actual threat.

From the 3 shows I finished watching so far (Prime, Animated, Beast Wars) he threw me in for the biggest fucking loop.

Because with other Megatrons it's very clear what kind of a villain they are from the start:

Prime Megatron looks like a threat, moves like a threat, and while he has charisma, we don't see it that often. And he has dramatics, but those are mostly reserved for fights with Optimus or Unicron-poprock-crystal-candy induced hallucinations. And even then it's more like grand, over the top speeches, not silliness.

Animated Megatron has class. He is charismatic and uses this to his advantage to the extreme. He manipulates everyone and anyone, his followers are ready to fight eachother for a crumb of his praise, and a chance to be called "most loyal". He has dramatics (more than just the fact he twists his oil barrels into goblets) and he has embarassing moments infront of his troops, but those are due to circumstances, not him being silly.

I am in the process of watching Cyberverse, and so far this Megatron is a threat, doesn't seem like much of a threat when fighting the autobots, and to my limited spoiler-fueled knowledge, will become a bigger threat later on.

Take another look at Beast Wars Megatron and tell me if you'd consider this guy a threat:

He monologues and laughs TheVillainLaugh so often, you start to expect it and just wait for it most episodes. At one point he laughs so hard he ends up choking on it. And after his coughing fit he resumes his plan monologue as if nothing happened. And it's not like the other Predacons don't acknowledge their boss' behaviour:

That doesn't mean he doesn't have some loyal Predacons; Scorponok, Waspinator and Inferno being the ones that come to mind (also the ones that crave his approval and praise the most), with the other Preds leaning more towards treachery. But how he handles treachery or disobedience or even talking back, where it seems like he's bantering, not threatening them,

His personality just doesn't fit with the traits and behaviours the other two Megatrons exibit, the kind of traits that I started to expect of Megatron as a character.

He doesn't fit my perception of a Megatron that is a threat.

Which, considering the narrative of transformers, says alot about me and the way I essentially placed the character into a mold and went "alright, angry, commands and demands attention, can be ruthless, is stupid enough to keep a guy as his SIC/ on his team, despite multiple murder attempts and scheming".

Now, if we get into actual details, Beast Wars Megatron wouldn't count as "an actual Megatron", since the show itself is set after the Great War between the autobots and decepticons, G1 timeline. This Megatron took his predecessors name, so for all we know his name could be Joe before he changed it.

But his actions and the "destroy and conquer and lay the groundwork for future plans while you're causing mayhem" thing he has going on? That is Megatron behaviour as far as I can see.

And, granted, Beast Wars is the oldest out of the three shows I've watched (Animated 2007, Prime 2011), and so he is older than both of them, his characterization might be much closer to G1 than both Prime and Animated!

But before this becomes a full on essay full of misinformation (and more spelling mistakes), I'll just give my thanks to each continuity being it's own thing, with enough variety to keep you on your toes, while expecting how the general plot might go.

I hate that I can't even fully hate him, because he is so incredibly entertaining, so I am stuck looking @ the screen, cursing the fucking prehistoric grape lizard fidget spinner of the future, because he is so vile but he does it in style.

Here's a flattering picture of him as I seethe.

🎉Congratulations you metal Barney on rollerskates!🎉 You are truly despicable, the worst! I hope you choke on a rubber ducky💕

[He also gets a smaller trophy for his Transmetal MegaMode (or whatever it is called officially), because its a fucking dragon. He went from a bubblegum T-rex, to a copper rollerskating T-rex that can fly, to a red and gold dragon that can breathe fire and ice. So yeah, drastic transformation wise, no competition here, as well as levels of drama that came with each alt.]

[itspatsy]

Part of me thinks JJS2 didn't want to acknowledge they'd majorly dropped the ball on race in S1, so in S2 they amped up the "Jessica is a part of a minority group" aspect, had a black woman say "you people," to turn the narrative even further away from Jessica's own white privilege, and destroyed Trish, who was a viable target because she wasn't a traumatized white woman like Jessica - she was a RICH white woman. And they were desperate to avoid their fuck-ups so they made Patsy a patsy.

okay, so this turned into a long, generally incoherent rant that starts with “this show absolutely fails at dealing with race” and ends with “wtf were they even trying to do with trish’s story,” and it should probably be separate posts or better yet just not posted at all, but it’s all generally related to this ask, so whatever. it’s a mess, i have a lot of confusing thoughts, ignore me.

rather than acknowledging the mistakes of s1 regarding race and trying to course correct, the show definitely seemed like it decided to double down. before the season started, as it was becoming clear they were going to do this “prejudice against powered people” thing, i was really weary about how they would handle it, and apparently my instinct was right. 

to start with, it felt kind of pulled out of nowhere. realistically, sure, people would be weary of powered individuals, but it hasn’t really been fully built into the fabric of the mcu or the netflix mcu as a realized form of bigotry. it was also really only a thematic element in the first half of the season, and they made no effort to really explore it and its implications before they tossed it out and changed gears. it was just there to be used as a device for conflict and drama. 

and it’s such a ridiculous thing when you only have one powered person in the show that’s experiencing that bigotry and she’s a skinny white heterosexual cis woman? like, the most direct parallel for this wasn’t misogyny or homophobia, but racism, and they didn’t try to tell multiple perspectives about it. having a black woman say “you people” at jessica was the most tone deaf bullshit, like, i could not fucking believe it (and then they later killed her off in the most disposable way, which is a whole other issue, and something this show has done repeatedly). they had oscar, a moc that had been in prison (of course), start out the same way, seemingly expressing bigotry and getting “righteously” called out for it by jessica. then there was pryce, another moc, aggressively going after jessica, trying to steal her business, calling her an animal because of her anger and powers, and he “never takes no for an answer” and jessica gets to be like “how rape-y of you” in what was supposed to be a moment of #femaleempowerment. but it just feels like white lady empowerment at the expense of poc. 

but hey, gotta pile on to show how very oppressed jessica is in every aspect of her life, right? which, yes, she has absolutely been oppressed and violated and traumatized, and that is so important and real and should never be diminished, but the show didn’t attempt to contend with the ways she’s also privileged and the ways she’s been able to use it to her advantage and having her acknowledge it (including the fact that having powers, being able to protect herself, is an incredible privilege instead of only the awful burden it’s been portrayed as and she’s always interpreted it as). i probably wouldn’t have even said they’d need to explicitly deal with this under other circumstances, if they were focused on telling a different story, but they’re the ones that decided to make analogies to racist prejudice and have poc express it towards a white woman, so they put the expectation on themselves to tell a nuanced story about oppression and privilege and intersectionality, and they didn’t do that at all. they clearly weren’t actually interested in talking about prejudice in a serious, meaningful way. 

but here’s the even bigger issue: the show tries to present itself as being feminist, but it can’t be feminist when there are no women of color in main roles or even supporting roles. it makes no effort to tell the stories and perspectives and experiences of woc, and that is an absolute failure. it’s inexcusable that they made no effort to fix this. it absolutely doesn’t help that the woc that are actually present in small roles keep getting killed off unceremoniously. i had some hopes when i saw that they had females directors that actually included some woc, but i don’t think they have any in the writing room, and that matters SO MUCH. it makes such a difference, and they could’ve probably avoided so many of these missteps if they just had other voices represented in the creative process. i just saw a headline with melissa rosenberg where she says, “oh yeah, i totally agree with the criticism we don’t have enough women of color,” okay, except this is not a new criticism, people were saying the same thing after s1, so if she agrees with it and cares about it, why didn’t she do anything about it while they were making s2?

the show has sort of attempted with men of color, in that they actually exist in the cast, but it doesn’t handle them well at all, some of which i mentioned before. then you’ve got malcolm. the only lead character of color in s2. he was set up to be the moral center of the show, but there was no real follow through. he was ultimately treated like an afterthought in most situations. he just? disappeared? constantly? when shit went down? i lost count of the number of times i was like, “umm, where the fuck did malcolm go? is he all right?” and the characters around him were pretty consistently awful to him. jessica almost always treated him like shit. his relationship with trish was a train wreck they both kind of contributed to, but trish turned on him pretty epically, and the emotional fallout for him wasn’t really dealt with. and the writers told his “proxy addiction” story in the laziest, grossest way possible (sex? really? that’s all they could think up? and then to use it as excuse to have him treat women like they’re disposable and faceless?). they just clearly have no respect for him. 

it’s such a mess, and s2 was probably worse than s1 in this regard, and there’s no reason it needed to be. this isn’t an impossible thing. when people tell you, “hey, you fucked up. this is how,” you don’t double down or pretend it didn’t happen, you listen and you do better. this should be a show for everyone, not just white women. 

turning to trish, since you mentioned her: i’ve mostly tried to avoid post-s2 reviews, but one of the few i read described her character arc as a critique of the white savior mindset. i highly doubt that’s what the show had in mind. as we established above, careful thoughtful commentary about race is not this show’s strong suit, and writing a critique of the white savior mold wouldn’t even occur to them. i could kind of see where the reviewer was coming from, there were some flavors of white savior-ism in trish’s behavior, but they had to pretend she had never experienced an ounce of hardship in order to make it fit. this was basically the conclusion: “trish is rich and has a family and could never under poor traumatized orphaned jessica’s life.” nevermind that money doesn’t stop you from being abused and traumatized, that a family member was her primary abuser, and that living in poverty and wanting money was the motivation for her abuser to sell her out. this take also ignores the thing driving trish the most. it wasn’t “i want to help people, and they should listen to me because i know best” or even “i want to be special, i want to matter.” it was “nobody touches me anymore unless i want them to.” she was tired of being the victim, of never feeling safe. that’s why she wanted powers. it was muddied by the writing, but it really is as straight-forward as that.

i think trish being rich has likely had some influence in the audience diminishing how she was violated and abused in most every kind of way (physically, emotionally, sexually, financially), but i definitely don’t think the show went after her for being a rich famous white lady as a cover for its various racial fuck-ups. i don’t think the show even really tried to contend with or acknowledge her rich white privilege anymore than it tried to contend with jessica’s privilege. if anything, it tried to do the opposite by showing her to be belittled and demeaned and disrespected by everyone around her, similar to how they were upping the ante on jessica’s oppression by having her face bigotry about her powers. granted, it’s clear the audience had an easier time relating to jessica (probably partly due to the money and fame aspect again; also partly because the narrative backed her up more: for instance, the dynamic of having trish envy the privilege of jessica’s power, but the show seeming to say “oh, gosh, trish just doesn’t understand it’s not a privilege at all, it’s a terrible burden” even though that’s kind of ridiculous, as i mentioned earlier). the execution was shitty, but they were definitely still trying to show that trish’s life was not good and people treated her like she was nothing and worthless in a way that paralleled jessica’s treatment.

tbh, rather than punishing trish for being rich or whatever, i sometimes got the vibe they were actually punishing her for daring to have ambition, but that probably wasn’t on purpose, just an unfortunate implication of the way they treated her in general. at first, i’d assumed they were trying to tell a story about addiction and the ways it can destroy your life, and they just sucked at handling it with any kind of thoughtfulness, but now i think that’s being too generous. they didn’t even really try to grapple with the reality of her addiction and mental illness, so much as use it as an excuse to make her more unstable and put her in a position where she’d keep escalating things. 

i read an interview before the season dropped where melissa rosenberg talked about female anger (or, as the reality of the show is, white female anger), and anger definitely was a theme for all the female characters. if you recognize trish’s main motivator as mentioned above (protecting herself from further abuses), you can see where it fits into this theme, and that it wasn’t just senseless anger and was driven by vulnerabilities and never feeling safe. so, i don’t know, i guess trish’s story was maybe intended to be about an abused woman finally being so goddamn fed up with victimhood and disrespect and belittlement that she decided to take what she needed instead of quietly waiting for other people to acknowledge her humanity and treat her accordingly. that she finally said “fuck it” and tried to find her own power and become her own hero. except, if that was the story, the way it was executed was, wow… exceptionally awful and not remotely clear and not at all done in a positive way. a storyline like that could’ve had the potential to be powerful and affirming and perhaps empowering (once again, for white women at least), but that’s not the story they ended up telling. 

like, i honestly don’t get what i’m supposed to take away from it. they seemingly gave her what she was after, but they spent the entirety of the season shitting on her and had her destroy everything good in her life to get what she believed she needed, which was really just to feel safe. what’s the point here exactly? you do you boo and fuck everybody else because it’ll pay off? don’t have dreams and ambitions for yourself because they’ll make you heartless and selfish and you’ll hurt other people? the desire for power always corrupts even when you’ve been a victim and just want the power to protect yourself? trauma doesn’t go away and can make you do terrible self-destructive shit that you think is helping you but actually isn’t? drug addicts are awful, amirite? what. are. they. trying. to. say?