#ITS BEEN SO LONG IVE FORGOTTEN MY TAGS
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I'm on my final pilgrimage...
she's still alive!!!
#also my first time in an arcade in over a year. yeah#milk idol diary#waccha primagi#primagi arcade#its been so long ive forgotten my tags
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makes my job easier now no one can get to me
Would you be able to place the @permitoffice in the void for us?
They're not a mcyt, but maybe the power of the void transcends that... Who knows.
Thanks :)
the VOID reaches out to the permit office...
...and claims
@permitoffice
#this sure is something to come back to after vacay hahahah#ITS BEEN SO LONG IVE FORGOTTEN MY TAGS#dhpermits#hermitblr
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ep 43 had me tearing up in a fucking shopping centre ‼️‼️
b+w alt version that I truly couldn't decide if I liked it more . Also I included a lot of thoughts in the tags but they're somewhat incoherent<3
#i dont know what i expected but i was waiting for a friend and too excited to wait until later#malevolent podcast#john doe#john doe malevolent#john malevolent#malevolent fanart#grimm art#ep 43#ep 43 left me with a lot of thoughts ... i didnt quite like how much of a recap it felt like at times but that might#be because ive been relistening and like yeah everyone knows that john 🙄 but that's not the case for everyone and with monthly uploads#things get forgotten easily#i find the discussion of “humanity” so interesting because John has shown that without someone that he has forcibly grown to value as an#equal... something he cannot do as the king of yellow as he is superior to all of his realm and presumably stays out of other elder god's#anyway. without that equality and enviroment to grow he fails to reach his goal of compassion and falls onto old ways.#John. The King in Yellow. shown by both times each has found themselves in human form do not just crave power and influence!!!#THEY CRAVE COMMUNITY!!! an endrich being not born or raised with nothing but power and ego#CRAVES COMMUNITY.#His goal of “humanity” is not a selfless goal like John projects - it is ultimately somewhat selfish as he does not want to be alone!!#which makes this desire so much more human#i don't know maybe this is just me spelling out whats already there but the way john and the witch argued about humanity frustrated me#it felt like they were missing the point or that perhaps the “good/evil” “black/white” retoric was already realised by me and john needed#realise it himself . which is fair !!!#i dont know!!!!#the witch was talking about how bad everyone was and how humanity is cruel and john was talking about Lily (#who also frustrates me how shes used in the plot somewhat she was literally just a nurse doing her job bro#) but to John - yes internally he is struggling with his moral greyness and im so proud of him for growing being himself SO PROUD#JUST.!!! he wants community. he needs community. he loves his friend. 'humanity' at its core does not matter as long as you try to be bette#and i think thats awesome and i really enjoyed the episode#guhh im rambling enjoy my tag rambling i dont know i want john to have more friends :(#yorrick can be another friend godd i love you yorrick so silly
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I don't have a functioning drawing tablet rn so I've really been getting back into pen and ink. anyway i think snails need more feathers
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*kicks leg into air* hi im not dead yet! surprisingly. so much has happened lol.
id say that my brain has been stew for the last while, but honestly its more like. my brain was soup and then i got pulled away from the stove and oh no my soup is on fire now, and i need to make a new soup from scratch except im out of ingredients so i gotta go to the store except i still gotta deal with the thing that pulled me away from the stove-
and that metaphor got away from me, but anyway. im lining up some stuff to post soon, so im going to get back to work on that! cyall soonish o7
#im lining up some stuff to post! its been a WHILE AUGH#chatter#ive. forgotten my tags its been so long. blegh#i finally got back to writing flipping fate and its great i love thinking about this story so so much
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#17#i think#its been so long ive forgotten all my tags lol#nature#green#places#watercourse#woodland#moorland#forest#Minnigaff#girthon#scotland#scotland nature#scottish nature
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Chapter Three of my JohnDirk vampire AU is out :D
#its been so long ive forgotten how to tag hmmmmmm#writing#mine#my writing#ao3#johndirk#dirkjohn#homestuck#fanfiction#yeah thatll do
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soooo...... its been a while. while im currently too busy to maintain this blog i have no plans on abandoning it. currently my plan is to do a reboot of the blog and i have plans for a lil storyline... :)
heres a lil sneak peak at that idea
#its been so long ive forgotten what my tags are on this blog...#art#hes fine dont worry hes totally fine#as you noticed i changed the name of the blog too#i plan on doing a comic to introduce the story but im notoriously slow on comics soo..
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Faust getting some love in 2023? Perhaps :^)
#faust#mine#ill be real ive forgotten how i used to tag art its been so long#maybe ill finish this... perhaps... perhaps...#also say hi to his new hairstyle my boy Evolved
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yellowjackets cast and crew in interviews: my “NO BABIES WILL BE EATEN IN SEASON 2″ t-shirt has people asking a lot of questions already answered by the shirt,
#ask to tag sorry#ive been following this theory for so long that my brain has kind of forgotten what its like to react strongly to the idea of. well#eating a baby#but the secret being hidden has GOT to be bigger than normie cannibalism...
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a scene from a book made me cry today. it was not particularly extraordinary, or earth-shattering, and i was surprised to feel the familiar drop in my stomach, the twinge in my chest, the tingle in my nose.
ive realised as ive gotten older the way the list of things that make me cry grows longer with each passing heartbreak. (the death of a pet. the sacrifices of a parent. the loss of a friend. the betrayal of a lover.) the way my body has collected each and every one, tucked them into the crevices of my being. hidden, but never forgotten. ever-growing.
#inkflows#spilled ink#poets on tumblr#its been so long ive forgotten how to tag my writing#but oh how ive missed this#frankly ive been robbing myself of opportunities to write because it meant confronting my feelings#and ive had many big feelings for a while now#but it might be time for me to return to the ring
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♯ 𝐔𝐓𝐓𝐄𝐑𝐋𝐘 𝐋𝐎𝐕𝐄𝐒𝐈𝐂𝐊.
⟣ sypnosis. kento has been extremely busy lately, going on business trips and so forth. he decides to surprise you by coming back earlier than expected. that’s how you end up finding your lover on top of you, showering you in his affection at 3 in the morning.
⟣ tags. nanami kento x female reader. fluff, bit of angst, suggestive towards the end. reader gets called 'sweetheart, angel, dear' wc: 1.8k
⟣ note. okayokay finally an adition to my event heheh ive almost forgotten about it but then i saw this prompt & was like . ok nanami , i must write this rnnn no delaying anymore so here i am :3 its also very bad. i hate it sm LOL i hope u at least like it t_t
kento often asks himself why he had returned to the world he despised — the jujutsu society; his old high school. the sprawling curses everywhere are the main cause of his current misery.
he had been sent out on missions left and right, not catching a break in hopes of reducing any more civilian causalities than necessary. kento had even thought that maybe his previous 9-5 job wasn’t as bad as he had considered it.
overtime was every day for the sorcerer now. that wasn’t the worst thing - no - the fact that he was pratically living a long distant relationship with his beloved irritated him most.
a thought he had in his high school days reoccured in a moment of distress: ‘why not leave all those missions to gojo?’
you were still pretty understanding of his situation. kento appreciated that, though the guilt still ate away at him whenever he tried to sleep. an empty bed welcomed him each time he re-entered his hotel room — you saw the exact same scenery when returning home to your shared apartment.
both of you were adults; both knowing that life was unfair. the two of you being unable to see each other from time to time was a part of your life. kento and you still maintained a healthy relationship. that was all that really mattered in the end.
11:49PM. . . tonight wasn’t unlike any other night; you were preparing yourself to go to bed—changing into your pyjamas after showering, snuggling to a pillow under the covers and texting your lover one last message.
‘good luck on your mission as always! stay safe, i love you.’
you stare at your phone screen for a minute longer than intended. even if you tried to be mature about it — you longed for kento’s warmth and undivided attention. you want him with you, his strong arms holding you to his chest as you rest, his deep voice sending shivers down your spine in the best way possible.
you sigh defeatedly and put your phone down on your nightstand. just two days until you could see your partner again. you can hold onto that hope to keep you calm.
despite you trying to stay positive, you tossed and turned in your bed as you thought about kento’s safety. there was always a chance of him not coming home to you — always the possibility of that bed to be empty for the rest of your life.
all you could do was pray for his safety in your head whilst your eyes eventually closed from fatigue, your mind drifting off to a deep slumber.
03:14AM. . . kento opens the door he had wished to have opened way earlier. the door that lead to the place where his heart lays; the person who claimed his heart and soul for eternity. you.
he didn’t think he’d actually do it. kento had originally planned to finish his last job as soon as possible and then get home afterwards, but there seemed to be a change in routine.
the special grade sorcerer simply assigned the mission to ino — the person whom he could trust most to finish the job in one piece. as much as kento dislikes to put his juniors in possible risky situations, there are also situations where it’s fine to depend on them. besides, the mission could easily be done by a grade one sorcerer.
kento sighs. the familiar scent of your home was one he could recognise from miles away. one that could calm his nerves instantly. it was that same distinctive scent you carry; thus why your lover sometimes calls you his home.
‘i can’t wait to be home’ ‘i want to be home’ ‘i’m going home’ — all these sentences, which kento has uttered before in earlier conversations, weren’t referring to a place. rather to a person he held dear.
“oh, my sweetheart.” the blonde man whispers under his breath as his eyes catch the shape of your figure under the blankets. he quietly enters the master bedroom and closes the door behind him, not making a sound as to not interrupt your well-deserved sleep.
kento slowly undoes his dotted tie, along with the upper buttons of his blouse. he probably needs to go take a good shower before he could settle down with you — but that’d risk waking you up.
you look extremely angelic in his eyes. especially with your left cheek squished by the soft pillow your head rests on. you never once fail to convince him that you are indeed the woman of his dreams; the woman kento ever had and will have eyes for. it’s like you get more attractive to him as the days go on.
“mh,” your sudden and soft groan makes him realise just how disturbing his behaviour could be interpreted as. kento’s body was hovering over your sleeping one and he was just. . . staring at you with a soft smile. a smile which he didn’t even notice had permanently found its place on his weary face.
kento sits down on the edge of the mattress, callused hand gently tucking you in properly, putting the blanket over your shoulders to make sure you didn’t get cold. he can’t rest if you’re not comfortable— even if he himself was exhausted to the point his eyes were starting to feel heavy.
yet that exhaustion doesn’t last long. it never does when kento’s able to see you again after a tiring week of countless missions and other jobs. your presence alone grants him the energy to stay awake and take care of you. and himself. you’re the reason he keeps it going.
“i love you so much, my beautiful girl — my angel.”
kento sure was a romantic. even when you’re unaware and asleep.
he couldn’t help it; the feeling stirring inside of him. the feeling of adoration and love for you. you are simply resting, yet kento felt an urge to kiss you all over, show you the unending love he has for you. but. . that’d probably be disturbing your peace. you are sleeping after all. he
not that that would stop kento.
your eyes flutter open due to a sudden presence hovering over you. your entire face and neck area was feeling ticklish, like someone was placing tens of kisses all over the skin.
strands of blonde hair is the first thing showing up in your blurry vision. kento’s face follows afterwards as his head tilts back up, the warmth against your jawline disappearing along with it —
“ah, i’m sorry.” a low and almost guilty chuckle tumbles out of his sore throat. the visible confusion on your face makes him let out another, “shh, shh, it’s just me, sweetheart.”
your arms flew around kento’s torso the second the realisation dawns upon you. your heart went from a slow pace to one that caused your entire body to warm up immediately; the adorable reaction and increase in heart rate not going unnoticed by your lover.
you wordlessly hug him — almost still in shock by the sudden appearance. kento doesn’t fight off your tight embrace, instead, welcomes it with open arms. the delicate kisses on your skin continue, each being placed with precision whilst one of his hands keeps your head tilted a little — rough fingers being a contrast of the gentle grip they had on your jaw.
“i missed you lots,” kento murmurs, eyes closed as he basks in the warmth of your body, his lips refusing to let go of your neck, “i couldn’t wait anymore. i couldn’t be separated from you any longer or i’d lose it.”
his gruff voice sounded even deeper than it usually would. maybe due to the overuse of it during his missions. the lone thought makes you pout — the thought of kento working super hard just to provide for you both.
“i missed you more, love.” you mumble, bottom lip trembling a little as kento’s hug triggers a whole lot of emotions in you. his hugs were special, his muscular arms giving you a sense of comfort you couldn’t find anywhere. no one could hug you like he did, “you did well. you did so well.”
those were all the words kento needed. his lips come to halt right above your collarbone, his breath a bit heavy from how much he's holding himself back from doing more. one hand moves from your cheek to your waist, fingers toying with the fabric of your shirt.
“thank you, dear.” kento says. his words carrying a load of unending affection. your simple words of appreciation and encouragement makes him shiver in delight. this is what he longed for; this is what he did it all for.
it was clear. the answer to his question - of why he had returned to the jujutsu world, to become a teacher at his former high school - it was all for you. to be able to be with you, see you and hold you like this. to have someone like you appreciate all of his efforts.
“may i?” kento asks through a quiet whisper as he gently removes the blanket covering your figure, his eyes darting down towards your cleavage. he's asking for permission to cross that barrier — to cover you in the love you deserve.
you just stare at the blonde man above you for a second. you watch as he climbs onto the bed with you; the bed which was once empty and dull, now suddenly becoming your favourite place to be at. your fingertips graze against kento's sharp cheekbones. a habit you always did when you were appreciating his looks.
“go right ahead.” you answer with a confirming nod.
both of you were touch starved and had been deprived from each other's embrace for way too long. now was the perfect time to make up for all the time lost.
kento wasn’t going to let the opportunity slip past him. he smiles at you, a gentle and handsome smile, whilst a few of his blonde locks fall over his left eye — his hands already prying away the blanket covering your shape. it was time to show you just how much he has longed for you.
“hold on to me, sweetheart. i’m not stopping until you realise just how much i’ve missed all of you.”
#sttoru writes.#jjk x reader#jjk fluff#nanami x reader#jjk x y/n#jjk x you#nanami kento x reader#nanami x y/n#nanami x you#jjk fic#jjk fanfic
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💜💜💜
@vyvanian and me as catnap and dogday at this weekend's con
Also ty to @minisculegemstone for taking the pics ily
#catboy confirmed#its been so long since ive put my face on here that ive forgotten what the tag is lmao#pissboy#<- p sure its that but idk
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fic: if i bleed (you'll be the last to know) (17/17)
Part Summary: “I firmly believe that when you do the right thing, everything will eventually fall into place. It might not turn out exactly as you hoped, but you’ll find a sense of understanding and peace with your decision.”
Pairing: Leigh Shaw x Fem!Reader | Word count for this part: 7.600+ | Tags/Warnings: angst, fluff, mentions of smut Author's note: Wow! Those five months went by so fast. Thank you so much for being with me on this journey. It's been my honor and pleasure sharing with you this story :)
Masterlist | Part I Part II | Part III | Part IV | Part V | Part VI | Part VII | Part VIII | Part IX | Part X | Part XI | Part XII | Part XIII | Part XIV I Part XV | Part XVI
-
“Tell me that your love is a sure thing” - Golden Vessel, Emerson Leif (“Hesitate”)
“Do you think I should ask Y/N to come with me?” Leigh asks, idly twisting a gold bauble between her fingers. She stares at it a beat too long, like she might find the answer in the curve of its shiny surface.
It's three days before Christmas, and true to Shaw family tradition, they're just now getting around to setting up the decorations. It wouldn't have happened at all if Amy hadn't taken the initiative to remind them. She was supposed to help, but she's vanished again to meet another “friend.” Leigh and Jules are suspicious, thinking their mom might be seeing someone in secret.
Jules, teetering slightly on the ladder, twists around to give Leigh a raised eyebrow. “To the Harrison’s bash for New Year’s? Hell yeah, why not? She’s a blast. Could shake things up a bit.”
“No, not that,” Leigh exhales, now regretting even bringing it up. “I mean the comic book tour for Matt.”
Jules steps down, one rung at a time, until she’s down to Leigh’s level. “Oh. That’s…quite a step. But, why not? Sounds like an adventure for you both,” she says.
Logan zips by, a sheeny red bauble in his mouth, set on a mission to place it next to his bowl in the kitchen. He keeps fetching or chasing after the scattered Christmas balls, sending them rolling all over the house. Leigh and Jules have been running around, picking them up and putting them back on the tree.
“It’s not just that,” Leigh says, glancing out the window where the first hints of evening are brushing the sky. “Asking her to come means asking her to leave everything here behind. Her life, her responsibilities. It’s different for her—she has a real career.”
“Hold up—what we do is a real career too. We’re improving lives with healthy habits, remember?”
Leigh laughs sardonically. “Come on, Jules, we're kinda just floating, working for Mom. Y/N is a doctor, owns her clinic, has staff. That’s...”
“That’s a big deal,” Jules agrees with a solemn nod. “It’s a huge ask, for sure.”
Silence hangs for a beat, the only sounds being Logan’s light panting as he settles down, ornament forgotten.
“Do you think she'd actually say no?” Jules suddenly pipes up, climbing back up the ladder to resume her decorating. Leigh spots a stray ornament a few feet away, points at it, and calls out, “Fetch!”
Logan springs into action, scampering to retrieve it. As he returns, triumphant, Leigh gives him a pat on the head and passes the ornament up to Jules.
“Actually, it’s quite the opposite. She’d jump at the chance,” she tells Jules.
“So, what’s stopping you?”
“She might regret it later,” Leigh says quietly. “And that could mean losing her.”
Jules frowns, understanding the bind her sister is in. She stretches out a hand, and Leigh takes it, their palms pressing cold and warm together. “I’m sorry.”
“And if I leave her here, I might lose her anyway,” Leigh adds, the heaviness of two futures making her shoulders sag.
Jules gives her hand a firm squeeze. “But what if you both end up regretting not taking the chance? It’s only a few months. Maybe Y/N can sort something out with her clinic?”
“It’s still too risky for her business. She’s poured everything into that place, Jules. Asking her to step away, even briefly—it’s…it’s selfish.”
“Life’s full of risky asks, Leigh. Sometimes, you gotta bet on what’s scary. Risk a little heartbreak on the chance it’ll bring you both something remarkable. Maybe this is one of those times?”
Leigh releases her hand and moves to another bare section of the tree. “Is that the kind of thinking that made you decide to look for your biological parents in Vietnam?”
Jules snaps the tinsel down, her response coming quick and a bit sharp. “Yes.”
Leigh winces slightly, realizing her question might have prodded an unintended sore spot. “I didn’t mean—”
“I get it,” Jules interjects, sighing as she tries to bring the conversation to a close. They’re both dealing with their own issues, and as much as she loves Leigh, she knows she’s not in the right headspace to offer solid advice—especially advice she’s not even sure works.
Leigh clamps her mouth shut. She doesn’t want this to turn into an argument either.
“Maybe just talk to her? See what she thinks? Who knows, maybe the biggest leaps make the most sense when you’re doing them for the right reasons... for the right person,” Jules says after some time.
“You really think so?” Leigh asks, her voice threaded with hope.
“I do,” Jules nods, her hands busy rewrapping the tinsel Logan has graciously returned. “Just talk to her. It’s either a ‘what if’ or a ‘what now.’ Better to find out which.”
-
Leigh comes with her mouth open, but no sound escapes. Her body trembles as she experiences what she knows is the best orgasm she's ever had—though she remembers saying the same thing about this morning’s quickie in your bathroom. It just seems to keep getting better each time.
You slowly climb up from her pussy, trailing soft kisses along her stomach. As you move upward, you let your tongue lightly trace a stripe across one of her nipples, eliciting a shiver from Leigh. She’s still catching her breath, but when you finally reach her lips, she pulls you in for a deep, consuming kiss. The way her tongue wrestles with yours tells you she’s already eager for more, her hands tangling in your hair as she holds you close.
You break the kiss, smiling down at her. “Hi,” you murmur, almost shyly.
Leigh, still a little dazed, brushes the strands of hair off your forehead and gently traces your lower lip with her thumb. “You know something?” she asks, her eyes wandering over the marks and lines on your face.
“Hm?”
She kisses the corner of your mouth. “You're kind of amazing,” she says softly.
“That good, huh?” you tease, a playful smile tugging at your lips.
Her hand, which has been cupping your face, slides down your neck before she pulls it back to herself, biting at her index fingernail.
“I’m sure you can tell,” she whispers, her voice low and sultry. To emphasize her point, she arches her hips, the slickness between her thighs evident against your skin.
“You’re going to have to give me a minute,” you sigh, letting your head fall to her sweaty chest. “You’ve completely worn me out.”
Leigh laughs, a soft, melodic sound. “Really? Getting tired already? What happened to your stamina?”
You don’t bother to retort, content just to lie there listening to the rhythm of her heart. “It’s hard work keeping you satisfied,” you say after some time, your voice muffled against her skin.
She tightens her hold around you, the gentle stroke of her fingers in your hair making every thought slow down. The security of her embrace makes everything seem right in the world, and it emboldens you to voice a thought that's been on your mind more and more lately.
“You know,” you start, lifting your head to catch her eyes, “I was thinking… maybe you should move in with me.”
Leigh stiffens just a bit, her eyes darting away for a moment, and you instantly regret how fast you’ve blurted it out. You sit up, trying to backpedal, “Only if you want to, I mean... it was just a thought. You're here most nights anyway, and your toothbrush is already—”
Before you can ramble on, Leigh leans in and silences you with a gentle kiss. “Slow down,” she whispers against your lips, her smile reassuring.
You chuckle, giving her a sheepish, lopsided smile. “Right, right,” you agree, settling back down beside her.
Leigh shifts to lie on her side, propping herself up on one elbow. Her eyes, still dark with want, sweep over your body—flushed, soft, and still quivering slightly from your efforts to pleasure her. She catches herself, though, and with a more composed motion, she pulls the blanket up to cover you, tucking it around your chest.
You look up at her, your expression ironically innocent, waiting for her to say what's on her mind.
“I’d love to,” Leigh finally says. “But do you really think it’s the right move?”
“What do you mean?”
“I mean, we’ve just started exploring what this is, what we could be, and I’m already planning to leave. It feels like I’m setting us up for...” Leigh doesn’t finish the sentence, but she doesn’t have to.
Matt's book tour looms over both of you, an ever-present shadow no matter how tightly you try to cling to each other. It's as if you believe that by melding into one with Leigh, you could somehow will her impending departure into nonexistence.
Though before you can say anything, your phone rings from the coffee table beside you. You reach over and grab it, your mom's name flashing urgently on the screen. A quick glance at the time sends a jolt through you—you were to pick her up at the airport but completely lost track of time.
Leigh sits up too, clutching the sheet to her naked torso. “What is it?”
You wince, the irony of the situation not lost on you. “It's my mom,” you explain hurriedly. “I should have left, like, half an hour ago to pick her up at the airport. She’s staying with me for a few days until right before New Year’s.”
A moment ago, you were discussing moving in together, and now you find yourself needing to ask her to leave.
Leigh raises an eyebrow, smiling coyly as she realizes the implications of your mother’s arrival. “And let me guess, she's staying here? In your one-bedroom palace?”
“Yeah,” you say, scrambling to get dressed. “Which means I need to air out the place, change the sheets... make it look like I live like a monk.” You stop for a second, looking at Leigh with an apologetic frown on your face. “And I kind of need to ask you to leave now. Please don’t be mad.”
“Mad?” Leigh laughs as she swings her legs out of bed and starts gathering her clothes. Once she's collected them all, she steps closer, gives you a quick kiss, and murmurs right next to your ear, “I’m furious.”
You kiss her hair gently before stepping in front of the mirror to check your appearance, making sure you don't look as disheveled as you feel.
“Gives us both some time to think about everything. The tour, us moving in, all of it,” Leigh says, slipping into her jeans.
“Absolutely,” you agree, watching her.
“Change those sheets well, huh?” she teases, zipping up her bag. “You know how moms can be.”
You grimace jokingly at her comment. “Please, don't ever use 'sheets' and 'mom' in the same sentence ever again.”
Leigh laughs again, clearly enjoying you squirm. She slings her bag over her shoulder, waiting for you to finish getting ready.
As you cap your lip gloss, an idea suddenly strikes you. Seeing Leigh's expectant look reflected in the mirror, you ask, “Hey, how about you join me to pick her up at the airport?”
Meeting your mom seems like another huge step in your relationship, but she doesn't hesitate.
“Is it okay with your mom?” she asks, a bit wary.
You shrug, taking her hand confidently. “Why wouldn't it be?”
-
Apparently, you’re the spitting image of your mother.
At least, that’s how Leigh sees it as she watches you both hug it out in the arrival section of LAX. As a fitness pundit, Leigh immediately notices your mom's excellent posture, despite her petite frame. It's the first thing she observes in anyone, and your mom is no exception. Beyond that, you both share the same quick smile and the way your eyes light up in laughter—deep brown, the color of rich coffee, which Leigh finds particularly striking. Even the gestures are mirrored; the way you both tuck hair behind your ear when nervous, or the confidence in your strides.
What distinctly sets her apart from you, though, is how intimidating your mom appears to be.
As you walk to the parking lot, holding your mom’s hand in one of yours and Leigh’s in the other, your mom chats animatedly about a hot spring resort she discovered near your hometown. Leigh keeps half a step behind, doing her best to stay engaged while keeping up with your pace.
“So, how was your flight?” Leigh asks, finding a moment to wedge herself into the conversation.
Your mom barely glances back, responding briefly before turning her attention back to you. “Long, but it’s always nice to spend Christmas with my daughter,” she says, squeezing your hand affectionately.
Leigh tries again. “It's pretty nice weather here, isn't it? I bet it's a lot colder on the East Coast right now.”
“Oh, it’s freezing out there, Leigh,” you chime in, completely oblivious to the awkward interaction between your mom and your girlfriend.
Your mom nods but doesn't elaborate, her focus still on you. “We should stop by that bakery you always gush about,” she says, eyes bright with excitement.
Leigh's grip on your hand tightens slightly, and she lags further behind. “Oh, that store closes at five. It’s seven already,” you say.
Desperate to connect, Leigh tries for the final time. “There are special light installations in the park for the holidays. Would you like to go see them?”
Your mom finally looks back, but her smile is thin. “I’m not much into these ‘light installations’. Too much walking.” She quickly shifts back to you. “How’s work been?”
“Work’s been busy, but manageable,” you say, glancing back at Leigh, who offers a small, strained smile.
The three of you continue to the parking lot, the conversation feeling increasingly one-sided. As you reach the car, you open the trunk and help with the bags, all the while trying to think of a way to include Leigh more naturally.
“Leigh and I were thinking of checking out that new restaurant downtown,” you say, making an effort to draw your mom's attention to her.
“Sounds nice,” your mom replies. “But actually, I'm not hungry—just a bit tired.”
Leigh’s expression falls just a bit, but she quickly masks it, helping with the last of the luggage. She figures that’s her cue to leave.
You can’t hide your frustration. Your plan was to have a nice dinner, a proper introduction. “Are you sure, Mom? It doesn’t have to be a long meal,” you push back gently.
“Let’s just get your mom home, she’s had a long day,” Leigh tells you softly.
You glance at your mom, silently pleading for her to reconsider, but she only smiles. “Maybe another time, dear.”
Reluctantly, you agree.
-
You lead your mom into the living room, urging her to make herself comfortable while you hurry to get the bedroom ready. The sheets need changing, the windows thrown open to freshen the air, and the whole space needs a bit of tidying.
“I’ll be right back,” you mumble, disappearing into the bedroom.
In the bedroom, you work quickly, stripping the used sheets and flinging the windows wide. You hustle, smoothing on fresh sheets, fluffing pillows, and straightening up—getting rid of all the evidence of what you and Leigh had been doing all week.
Meanwhile, your mom isn't one to just sit around. She takes in the scattered magazines, the couch cushions askew, and the dishes piled up in the kitchen. With a small sigh, she gets up and starts putting things in order. She straightens up the living room and moves on to tackle the kitchen. Before long, the sound of running water and clinking dishes fills your tiny apartment.
When she’s done setting things in order, she starts rummaging through your fridge and pantry. With only a few ingredients at hand, she decides to make do with what you have. Soon, she's boiling spaghetti and slicing hotdogs to toss into the mix. This dish was a childhood favorite of yours and remains a go-to comfort food. As soon as the familiar aroma wafts through the air, you find yourself irresistibly drawn toward the kitchen.
“Is that...?” you start, a delighted smile spreading across your face at the sight of the generous layer of shredded cheese melting over the thick red sauce.
“Sit down and eat while it's hot,” your mom commands with a warm smile.
You don’t need to be told twice. Fork in hand, you dive into the spaghetti as though you haven't eaten in days. Considering your usual diet of takeout and quick fixes, that's not too far from the truth. You chat about small, inconsequential things—the new coffee shop you tried last week, the remarkable cases you’ve encountered in the clinic this month, the shows you’ve been watching on Netflix.
Finishing your meal, you lean back with a satisfied sigh, feeling truly content for the first time in a long while.
“Mom?”
“Yes, dear?”
“So... what do you think of Leigh?”
“So that’s Leigh, huh?” Your mom pauses, setting down her cup of tea with deliberate care. “The widow of the guy you unknowingly dated for a while, not realizing he was married?”
“Yeah, that’s her,” you confirm, nodding slowly as your nerves start to build. The last time you brought up Leigh to your mom, you were almost ready to throw in the towel until she urged you to give it another shot. Now, more than anything, you're hoping she'll give her approval.
She nods thoughtfully, then with a sly grin, says, “Well, she's definitely out of your league.”
“Mom!” you exclaim, embarrassed.
She chuckles, clearly pleased with her little joke.
“Come on, be serious,” you plead.
Your mom clasps her hands on the table, and gives you that look—the one that means business. You can't help but roll your eyes at her theatrics, clearly aimed at getting a rise out of you.
“Leigh seems lovely,” she says. You can tell she’s sincere and that makes you sigh in relief. “And I really appreciate how she tried to engage with me earlier.”
You relax slightly, but then, as you replay the earlier interactions in your mind, you realize Leigh seemed frustrated and your mom wasn’t as welcoming as she usually is. Your face scrunches up as this sinks in.
“Wait, you were really standoffish to Leigh earlier!”
She holds up her hands in a half-shrug, her smirk fading into a more thoughtful expression. “Oh, honey, I didn’t mean to come off that way at all,” she says. “I guess I was just being overprotective. You know, considering how everything started between you two.”
You appreciate her motherly instincts but wish she'd given Leigh a fairer chance from the start. “I get it, Mom. But Leigh is really important to me now. It would mean a lot if you could try to get to know her better. For me?”
“Of course, sweetie,” she says. “What do you need?”
“Well, for starters…” you start, pausing as you try to find the right way to explain. You're about to share that you'll be spending Christmas dinner with the Shaws this year. It's always been just the two of you for the holidays, so you're not sure how she'll take the news of including others she hardly knows. “You’ll have an opportunity to bond with her the day after tomorrow.”
“What’s on Tuesday?”
“Christmas Eve dinner,” you reply. “At the Shaws.”
“Dinner at your girlfriend’s?” she clarifies.
You nod, your lip catching between your teeth. It still feels a little surreal—exciting, actually—being able to call Leigh your girlfriend. “Yeah, Mom. I thought it’d be nice for us to join them this year.”
Instead of giving an outright yes, she asks, “What should I bring? I want to make a good impression.”
You stand up and walk around the table to give her a hug. She wraps her arms around you and plants a kiss on your forehead. “Thank you,” you mutter into her shoulder. “Maybe bring your blueberry pie? Everyone loves that.”
“You love it,” she says cheerily. “Consider it done.”
Slipping back into old habits, you start clearing the dinner dishes, just like you used to when you lived with her. As you stack dishes and run water in the sink, your mom begins unpacking her bags in your bedroom. As you scrub the dishes, thoughts of following Leigh and leaving everything here behind start to overwhelm you. Once the kitchen is spotless and the last dish is put away, you realize you can't keep these feelings bottled up any longer.
You call out to your mother as you dry your hands on a kitchen towel. A few seconds later, she reappears in the living room, her face expectant.
“Hey, uhm,” you say, not knowing how to start. “I’ve been meaning to talk to you about something.”
“Go on,” she urges gently.
You take a deep breath before continuing, “Matt’s comic book is getting published posthumously. The publishing company wants Leigh to join a tour to promote the book, and I'm… I’m thinking of joining her.”
Your mom's expression becomes inscrutable as she processes the information. She walks to the couch and takes a seat. After a long pause, she asks, “What will happen to your clinic here?”
You look down, fidgeting with the towel in your hands, and then meet her gaze. “I’ve thought about that,” you say. “I’d need to find someone to cover for me. It wouldn’t be easy, but... I feel like I need to be there for Leigh. This is important to her, and… she’s everything to me.”
You try to read her reaction, but every line on her face remains perfectly still and composed. “Is it because you want to be there for her,” she says slowly, “or because you're afraid that if she leaves, you might lose her?”
Your eyes drop to the floor, and that's answer enough for your mother.
“Come here,” she says, patting the empty spot on the couch next to her. Wordlessly, you oblige.
“It's okay to be scared,” she whispers. “Loving someone means taking risks. Just remember, you need to be true to yourself as well. Leigh is important, but so are you.”
“I just don’t want to regret not giving my all to see this through with her,” you say.
“You love her,” she states, not as a question, but as a fact.
“I really do,” you say quietly.
“I firmly believe that when you do the right thing, everything will eventually fall into place. It might not turn out exactly as you hoped, but you’ll find a sense of understanding and peace with your decision.”
-
Your mom's words stay with you throughout the night. As you lie in bed, you can hear her soft breathing, her back turned to you.
You’ll find a sense of understanding and peace with your decision.
Your phone vibrates gently beneath your pillow, and you smile when you see a message from Leigh.
Leigh [10:45 PM]: Can’t sleep. I miss you.
You [10:45 PM]: Miss you too.
She doesn't reply, but she fills your head well into the night. The future is uncertain, but one thing feels right: going with Leigh on her tour is the decision that brings you peace.
-
Christmas Eve dinner arrives sooner than you expected.
Pulling up to the Shaws' house, you're amazed by the decorations that the siblings have tirelessly worked on for the past two days. The house is transformed into a festive wonderland, with twinkling lights draped over every surface, garlands of holly framing the windows, and a towering Christmas tree visible through the living room window, adorned with shimmering ornaments and tinsel.
You watch your mom's reaction as you both step out of the car, seeing the lights reflected in her awe-filled eyes. You beam at her, proud of your girlfriend's decorating skills and holiday spirit.
You and your mom walk up to the doorstep. She clutches her much-loved blueberry pie, which you’re looking forward to having a hearty slice of tonight, while you carefully hold Leigh's gift—a Lego typewriter modeled after a vintage 1950s design. You feel a twinge of nervousness about how she’ll receive your gift.
Moments later, the door swings open to reveal Leigh, all dressed up, and for a moment, you're speechless. Leigh has always been beautiful. No matter what she wears—be it casual joggers, sleek dresses, or even just her underwear—she never fails to leave an impression. Tonight is no different; she takes your breath away all over again.
“Merry Christmas!” Leigh greets brightly. “Almost, anyway,” she adds with a nervous laugh.
“Your decorations are incredible,” your mom says, smiling at her.
“Oh, thank you!” Leigh replies, her cheeks flushing at the unexpected compliment.
“Where should I put this?” your mom asks, holding up her pie.
“You didn’t have to, but wow, that looks amazing! Come on in, I'll show you,” Leigh says, stepping aside to let you both in. She leads you to the kitchen, where the smells of holiday cooking are even stronger. “You can set it right here,” she points to a spot on the counter already laden with various dishes and desserts.
Just as your mom sets the pie on the counter, Amy walks in. Leigh introduces her mom, and the two women share friendly greetings before Amy’s attention quickly turns to the blueberry pie. They dive into a lively discussion about cooking, swapping recipes as if they’ve known each other for years.
Leigh turns to you, her eyes shining. “I'm so glad you’re here now,” she says softly, her fingers lightly brushing against yours. Craving more contact, you gently grasp her hand and guide her to the backyard where Logan is nonchalantly marking a geranium. With no one around now, you draw Leigh close and kiss her deeply. Leigh responds just as fervently, her hand coming to rest on your waist and then squeezing, making you moan into her mouth. She takes advantage of the moment, slipping her tongue in. Her other hand finds its way to your neck, pulling you even closer. You can feel her heartbeat against your chest, matching the rhythm of your own.
When you finally pull back, breathless, you rest your forehead against hers. Leigh's eyes are half-lidded, her lips slightly swollen, tempting you to lean in once more. Just as you're about to, she finally takes notice of the enormous box under your arm.
“Is that for me?”
“Yes,” you say, handing it to her. “I hope you like it.”
Leigh's eyes widen as she takes her gift, her excitement further lighting up her soulful green eyes.
“I've got something for you too,” she says, giving the box a little shake. “It's upstairs in my bedroom. Want to get it now?”
You shake your head, matching her giddy smile. “Maybe later. If you take me to your bedroom now, I can't promise we'll be back in time for dinner,” you say.
Leigh chuckles. Honestly, she feels the same way. “Well then, can I open this now?” she asks.
“Absolutely! Go ahead. I really hope you like it.”
Leigh quickly starts unwrapping your gift, her fingers deftly tearing through the wrapping paper. As the paper falls away, her eyes widen in pleasant surprise at the sight of the Lego typewriter.
“Oh my gosh, it's perfect! Thank you so much!” She carefully places it on the ground before wrapping you in a tight embrace.
“You're welcome,” you whisper, circling your arms around her waist and pulling her close.
When she pulls back, her eyes are brimming with happiness and something deeper—pure, unfiltered love. She stares at you, her gaze soft and intense, as if she's seeing you for the first time.
“I can't believe you remembered,” she says, referring to a conversation you had weeks prior. “This means so much to me.”
You smile, brushing a strand of hair behind her ear. “I just wanted to make you happy.”
Something in your words strikes a chord within her. Without thinking, she blurts out, “Come with me to Matt's comic book tour.”
Her eyes widen slightly as she realizes what she's just said. But she doesn't take it back; instead, she buries her face in your neck, breathing in your scent. With each breath, she finds the idea of being apart from you increasingly unbearable.
“I want you to be there with me,” she continues with more conviction. “I can't imagine doing this without you.”
She pulls back slightly, needing to see your reaction. In your eyes, she finds the same depth of love she feels for you, mirrored back at her.
“As you wish,” you whisper, leaning in to seal your promise with a kiss.
-
Dinner is a success, largely due to Amy's and your mom's excellent cooking skills. The pasta prepared by Leigh and Jules wasn't a total disaster, but it had its mishaps. After the first batch turned too soggy—practically mush—Jules had to dash out in the middle of dinner to buy another pack of pasta.
Leigh’s father made a brief appearance with his new family, stirring a bit of awkwardness between the exes. Luckily, your mother defused the tension by suggesting a family game. It wasn’t long before laughter filled the room, with Jules energetically shouting clues at those struggling to guess the words on their foreheads.
In the middle of the game, Leigh volunteers to do the dishes. You offer to help, but Jules quickly drags you out of your seat to be the next one to guess the word. While you’re preoccupied, your mom quietly slips out of the living room and follows Leigh into the kitchen.
Leigh is surprised to see your mom. “I've got this,” she assures her with a polite smile. Despite your mom having considerably warmed up to her, Leigh still feels a bit anxious in her presence.
Your mom simply picks up some dinnerware that has already been washed and starts wiping them dry with a towel. “Do you know why Y/N became a veterinarian?” she asks casually.
Leigh smiles, recalling your story about Max, the first animal you ever helped. “Yes, she told me about rescuing a pup. It was really touching,” she says, her eyes softening at the memory.
Your mom observes Leigh, who has already returned to busily washing the dishes. “That’s right. But there’s more to it,” she says.
Leigh stops what she’s doing and tilts her head. “What do you mean by that?” she asks.
“Y/N did get into veterinary school,” your mom begins, placing a dry plate on the stack. “But she dropped out after the first semester. She had this deep-seated dream of traveling the world.”
Leigh listens attentively, wiping her hands on a dishcloth.
“Her father and older brother are both veterinarians, running a small clinic in our town. Naturally, they encouraged her to follow the same path,” your mom continues, “and while she loved animals, she also wanted to explore every corner of the world ever since she was a kid.”
Leigh's hands pause in the sudsy water as she absorbs every word.
“Her father gave her his blessing, and off she went. She traveled the world for two years.”
“What brought her back?” Leigh asks.
Your mom takes a deep breath, her knuckles whitening as she grips the towel more tightly. “H-Her father and brother were killed in a car accident,” she says, each word seeming to be painfully forced out of her.
Leigh's hand flies to her mouth in horror. “Oh no, I... I didn’t know,” she stammers, feeling a rush of guilt and confusion. Why hadn’t this crucial detail come up before?
“It was a terrible time,” your mom says quietly, “but it brought her back home.”
Leigh is silent, guilt gnawing at her for not knowing such a significant detail of your life. She’s been so caught up in sharing her own thoughts and plans, and you’ve always been the listener, never pressing her to ask about your past. She realizes now how little she’s asked about your family.
Leigh abandons her chore altogether. “W-What happened then?”
“After the accident, without their expertise, we couldn't keep the clinic running,” your mom replies, her voice steadier now but still tinged with sadness. “We had to put it up for sale. It was devastating to lose what they had worked so hard for.
“For a long time, Y/N was depressed. She blamed herself for not being there in the last two years, for putting her own interests first. And with the clinic gone, she felt like she had failed to preserve their legacy.”
Leigh is at a loss for words, her eyes growing bleary. “I’m—”
“Being a housewife all those years, I suddenly found myself needing to help put food on the table so Y/N could go back to school,” your mom explains. “For a year, she was just a shell of herself, hardly the vibrant person you know now.”
Needing a moment to process all these revelations, Leigh moves to the dining table and sits down. Her legs feel weak at the thought of you being so heartbroken. She knows grief all too well. Losing one person she loved nearly destroyed her; she can't imagine losing two at once.
“Y/N is the most… beautiful, wonderful and well-adjusted person I know,” Leigh says after a while. “I wouldn't have guessed she went through all that.”
“My daughter is a miracle,” your mom states with a soft smile.
“Thank you for telling me all this,” Leigh says sincerely. “It means a lot to understand what she’s been through.”
Your mom nods and says, “I'm not telling you this just because you're her girlfriend. I'm telling you because I know she’s planning to follow you and leave her practice here in LA behind.”
Leigh's breath hitches as she takes it all in. Learning about your father and brother, she realizes she nearly forgot what she asked of you just hours ago. It's not just a job or a business you're leaving behind—it's a dream that keeps their memory alive, a part of you where they still live on.
“Please, don't ask her to leave everything behind,” your mom says, her voice almost pleading. “Just promise her that you'll come back for her.”
It’s not an easy promise to make—or keep. The mere uncertainty of what lies ahead holds her back. She can't stand the idea of breaking a promise to you or betraying your trust in any way.
Leigh's silence stretches on, and your mom speaks again. “If you can't promise to come back for her, just end it. Don't let it drag on. She's tougher than she knows. It'll hurt, but she won't be alone—I'll be there, and so will her friends and coworkers.”
Leigh balks at her. “I don't want to rush into a decision.”
But your mom isn't listening. Her concern cuts through her caution, compelling her to share more. “After we lost half our family, she was never the same. She’d sacrifice everything for someone she loves, always skeptical of a second chance. She loves like there's no tomorrow.”
It’s the one thing your mother said tonight that rings truest about you. You do love as if it's the last thing you'll ever do.
Before Leigh can respond, Amy walks in, sensing the tension immediately. “Is everything alright?” she asks, her eyes darting between Leigh and your mom.
Leigh suddenly realizes she's been crying, and so has your mom. Your mother excuses herself to the bathroom, leaving Amy looking concerned and bewildered.
“What was that about?” Amy asks.
Leigh, shaken and overwhelmed, struggles to speak. “I-I need to get the gifts for everyone. They're upstairs,” she stammers, then quickly heads to the bedroom, needing to escape and collect herself.
Amy watches Leigh leave, then reaches for the blueberry pie, trying not to read too much into the haunted look in her daughter’s eyes.
-
It’s a cold January evening when Leigh finally gathers the courage to talk to you. Your mother flew back to Maine three days after Boxing Day, and the rest of the holidays passed by in pure bliss. The two of you are curled up on the couch, a blanket draped over your legs, the remnants of dinner still on the coffee table. She’s been avoiding this conversation, clinging to the hope that something might change. But the more she thinks about the family you lost when you were younger, the more convinced she becomes that your mother was right.
“Can we talk?” Leigh’s voice is soft, almost drowned out by the movie playing in the background.
You mute the TV and turn to her, a look of concern immediately crossing your face. “Of course. What’s on your mind?”
“I’ve been thinking a lot about us, about our future,” Leigh says slowly.
It doesn’t immediately ring any alarm bells in your head, but your heart starts to race. “Okay…” you murmur. You can't help but notice her hands twisting nervously in her lap. You reach out to steady them, and as she looks up, her resolve breaks.
“I love you. You mean the world to me, but…I don’t know if it’s right for you to come with me.”
You frown, eyebrows stitched together in confusion and denial. “Leigh, what are you talking about?”
She looks away, her hands slipping from your grasp as she inches further into her corner of the couch. “I can’t be the reason you give up everything you’ve worked so hard for,” she says.
“I’m not,” you reassure her, trying to keep calm. “It’s just for a little while, right? Less than six months on tour. And it's not like we'll be non-stop; the schedule allows breaks. We can come back home in between. We’ve discussed this, remember? We have a plan in place.”
Leigh grows quiet, her gaze fixed on a spot on the floor. She takes a long breath through her nose, as if preparing herself for something even harder to say. “That's the thing,” she whispers. “I might not come back.”
Everything around you stills.
“What do you mean, you might not come back?”
Leigh’s eyes remained glued to the floor. “For the longest time, I’ve thought about leaving. Now that Jules is embarking on her own trip to Vietnam, and Mom is planning a long vacation in Europe, it feels like the best time to explore what's out there.”
“Leigh, we've been planning this together. It's just a tour. We'll be back,” you reiterate in frustration, starting to grasp at straws.
She merely shakes her head. “Everything about this place reminds me of Matt—both the good and the bad memories. Maybe I—”
“Great. The Matt card again,” you snap.
Leigh bristles at your comment. She stands abruptly and begins to pace. Seething. “Card?” she retorts sharply. “This is my life, my pain—”
“And you’ve just been running away from it all!” you counter, standing up too. “Running away from me!”
“Didn't you?” she fires back, her voice breaking.
“What—”
“Didn't you do the same thing when you lost your—” Leigh can't finish the sentence. It hurts too much to even say it.
You take a step back, shocked. “How did you—”
“Your mom told me.”
The room certainly feels like it's closing in. Unable to stand any longer, your legs give out, and you collapse onto the couch, burying your face in your hands and massaging your temples. Leigh watches you for a moment, then sits beside you. She reaches out tentatively but pulls back, unsure of what to say or do.
Your hands fall away from your face, and you turn to her, your eyes filled with pain and betrayal. “You learned about me losing my dad and my brother, and your response is to... leave me as well?”
Leigh's eyes fill with tears again, and she looks away, unable to hold your gaze. “It’s not like that,” she whispers, her voice trembling.
“What if I promise that the clinic will be okay? Foreman can manage things while I’m away, I trust him,” you suggest, your voice wavering as the reality of the situation starts to consume you.
Leigh shakes her head, dabbing at her eyes with the back of her hand. “I can't,” she murmurs. “I can’t feel good about myself knowing I'm pulling you away from something important to you.”
“But you're what's important to me, Leigh,” you argue weakly.
“That’s not how it works, Y/N,” Leigh says, trying to fight more tears threatening to spill over. “It’s too imbalanced. We don’t need a relationship where one of us is sacrificing too much. That’s not healthy for either of us.”
You sit in stunned silence, her words sinking in. You've always been willing to sacrifice for the people you love, but now you see how it could be a burden for Leigh.
You swallow hard, trying to compose yourself, the words sticking in your throat. “And you think the best for us is to be apart?”
She nods reluctantly. “I think the best for you is to not have to choose between your love and your life's work. I can't ask you to put anything on hold, not for me.”
“But I choose you, Leigh,” you say, tears now streaming down your face. “Doesn't that count for something?”
Leigh can’t help herself any longer. She moves closer, needing to comfort you despite being the source of your pain.
“It does,” she whispers, gently wiping away your tears with her thumb. “It counts for everything. But I need to know that you're not losing yourself to be with me. I can't live with that.”
With that, she pulls you close. You hold each other tightly, falling asleep on the narrow sofa, clinging to each other as if letting go would mean losing everything.
But by the time the sun has risen high in the sky, Leigh is already gone.
-
There are days when you feel bitter about Leigh deciding to break up with you, especially with weeks still left before the tour begins. You oscillate between anger at her decision and a reluctant acceptance that it might have been the right choice for both of you. More often than not, the anger prevails, leading you to drink yourself to sleep, only to wake up the next day to discover that nothing has changed.
Leigh is still leaving.
-
To your surprise, Amy willingly provides you with Leigh's flight itinerary out of Los Angeles. In the days leading up to her departure, you find yourself constantly formulating and discarding plans. Will you show up at the airport and whisk her away? Convince her to change her mind? Perhaps even show up with your own suitcase, ready to join her if you can persuade her at the last minute that she’s making a huge mistake?
Ultimately, none of your scenarios play out. However, you do find yourself at the airport, arriving ten minutes before her boarding gate closes. There, you spot Leigh standing in the lobby with a small suitcase. In that instant, you feel like you’ve accepted—for real this time—her decision to do this on her own.
You watch from the shadows as her gaze darts around as if searching for someone. Your heart swells with a mix of hope and sorrow, realizing she might be looking for you. You stay hidden, watching as she pulls out her phone and dials a number. Your phone vibrates in your back pocket. With your eyes still on her, you answer it.
“Hey, it's me,” Leigh starts awkwardly, as if implying that you might not remember how she sounds. You haven’t spoken to each other in weeks.
“I know it's you,” you reply softly.
“I'm about to board,” she says, and you can hear the reluctance in her voice.
“I see,” you say, struggling to contain the emotions that might slip through the cracks of your nonchalance. “Did you pack some food for the flight?”
She laughs, a tearful sound that squeezes your heart. “Yes, I picked up some donuts.”
“Sounds unhealthy, Ms. Shaw. Try to order some broccoli in-flight,” you tease her lightly.
“I hate broccoli,” she deadpans, her voice layered with a stubbornness you know well.
Then, she asks the harder questions, “Where are you? What are you doing?”
You mull it over, caught between honesty and the need to protect her decision. “I'm just hanging out in the clinic,” you lie, unwilling to reveal that you are there, watching her last moments before departure. “Will you call me when you land?”
She sounds like she wants to protest, but you cut in, “I need to know you're safe. It would really help me to know you're okay out there.”
After a few seconds, she agrees softly, “Okay, I'll call.”
“I’ll wait,” you say. “However long it takes,” you add, leaving the meaning of those words open for her to interpret.
They announce final boarding.
“Listen, I—I have to go,” Leigh says quickly. “Please, take care. Goodbye, Y/N.”
“Goodbye, Leigh,” you manage to say, your voice catching as you watch her walk away.
You end the call and pocket your phone. Watching her wipe away a tear and head towards her gate is almost too much to bear. You allow yourself a moment, a small smile playing on your lips, proud of her courage and saddened by her departure. You’ll be waiting for her call, but if it never comes, you'll understand. These moments don't erase the past several months you've spent getting to know Leigh.
And you wouldn’t trade them for the world.
-
At exactly ten in the evening, Leigh calls you from Boston.
#unbetad#my writing#my fic#elizabeth olsen x reader#elizabeth olsen#leigh shaw x reader#leigh shaw x female reader#leigh shaw#sorry for your loss au#leigh shaw x you#wanda maximoff x reader#wanda maximoff x you#sorry i had to tag wanda x reader for visibility
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Hey! Long time no see, i know i said id send you a fantasy i thought you'd like but now ive forgotten almost all of it, oop!
Life happened, and uh, i saw that you mentioned your libido being a bit low, which definitely is my case too (im recovering from depression, now that im okay id love to get my FULL libido back, or at least a good percentage of it) do you have any tips on that?
Also any recs of blogs writing in the same vibe as you? (same-ish kinks would be nice but im specifically looking for queer inclusive stuff!) it makes me 10x hornier than the regular video/photo porn!
Hope you're well, you pathetic little thing!
💫
hi friend!! ugh i feel you. sorry i haven't got any advice on regaining ur libido...we just let mine wax and wane as it will, though denial has been a big help in keeping it steady!
i've heard good things abt ginseng and some other herbs. obvs use at your own risk, mind that some herbal treatments can cross-interact with certain medications, remember that pre-packaged supplement pills are often unregulated and may contain toxins, and be aware that some herbal remedies work better on pw certain anatomy than others, and finally that many herbal remedies considered to increase libido are largely untested on trans folx!
finally, sorry it's taken so long to answer this ask...i'm autistic and have been cataloguing lol. i present to you a list of other blog recs under the cut, organized by general vibe! i've tried to primarily include blogs that do their own posts rather than those who primarily reblog :)
note that my headings may provide some context as to what to expect, but you read at your own risk and each blog will typically have its own trigger warnings addressed in the header/pinned. additionally, i've not tagged some of the ppl below because they prefer that "Men DNI" blogs not interact, and idk if "no cis men" qualifies ahah!
all blogs below are queer- and/or trans-inclusive, if not exclusive! there is no detrans/misgendering, at least I don't think - i don't tend to follow those blogs.
hard kinks (blood, knives, etc; includes primarily-cnc blogs):
@puppy-mommy , who also does general t4t kink content, but does state untagged hard kinks!
@visciousest is someone whose blog i scroll when i'm in a Certain Mood ahah,, i won't elaborate
@hell-hound-bites: just. fuck. would drool on his knife blade.
@snuff-fag: its username should give you fair warning as to how wild its content tends to get, so please browse responsibly.
@condor-bait is taking a break right now, and all my love is with him as he takes care of himself. he made me feel so valid and so fuckable as a young trans person learning to love myself in a new way, and i've always been too shy to tell him how much his content meant to me one-on-one (yes, despite its often-extreme themes!), and he deserves as much time as he needs to heal!
@unwillingfvckpuppy for mostly cnc and medical kinks! if you like his style, but not so much their harder content, he also has a more-tame main blog--i just mainly follow/scroll this one!
@vampvictim: top-tier cnc/intox stuff, plus some great knife/bloodplay :)
@cryptidtid is wonderful and holy shit i follow a lot of hard kink blogs lol. incredible
@cnc-pet: i have been following her for a long ass fucking time lol. they post a lot of really good cnc and stories, but you'll also find a lot of aftercare tips and advice on her blog! i really admire blogs who try to balance horny content with best practices
@dollobotomy
general kinky content:
@excessively-queer . just plain old good shit :) there's a good amt of edging and degradation.
@clouded-king was honestly one of my earlier introductions to the queer/t4t kink community on here and how fucking euphoric it can be :) he posts some hard kinks, but generally it's a balance of a lot of different kinks so read his pinned at your leisure!
@ / cottontailx : just good kinky nsft posts :)
@ / digitalpenetration: often specifically t4t which i love!!
@femmelovefemme can step on me :)
@bigothteddies: could not build this section w/o mentioning him :) they had a big influence on my fantasies for a long time!
@hazelj-xoxo: bigtime want her to cuck me. have followed her across multiple blog deletions lol
@transpidered is forever an icon!
@subspaceemo
@writefinch for great stories and text posts
edging and denial, specifically:
@6irlpet is 1 of my go-to hands-down-pants scroll sessions :)
@droolkink is my inspiration!
@flustersluts does exactly what the name implies lol. a good helping of other kink content too :)
@puppycvnt is a 10/10!
@barkwoofbarkwoofbark: we r denial friends imo!!
@strawbrrysub
@blyssful-abyss
@urhighnessbitch is a big fav <3
non-detrans genderplay:
@butchviolence does amazing butch supremacy stuff and i,,, fucking hell. even just seeing their username puts me in a Particular state of mind ahah. they also post hard kinks so be aware as you proceed!
@mtfdomme: i literally just reblogged from her today lol. tbh i want to be their little stupid pupthing. it's not all transfem supremacy undertones/overtones, but that's what i mainly follow her for, plus just general t4t goodness! also, their general personality? and the way she shuts down people who disrespect their boundaries? huge inspiration for me!
@cuntboydestroyer: take me to the animal shelter and neuter me. good lord.
@the-kind-of-dame is the main inspiration for my recent genderplay post lol
@terfbreaking-tgirl (be warned of dykebreaking if that's an issue for you)
@barbarian-lesbian is my other inspiration for the recent genderplay post
@superiorineveryway
weird asf (/complimentary; my favorite type of shit. robots, ND-focused posts, etc):
@specksizedgoddess has introduced me to things i didn't know, like...existed, and that's saying a lot as one of my special interests is kink! never knew how down bad i was to be a tiny buggirl, nor how much i wanted to be someone's stupid little robot... BIG tw tho: there is snuff and gore content here, so proceed with caution if you don't wanna see that!
@sapphling fucked me up real good with some bird!sub bondage posts awhile back lol
@nobelisha: found them through their ghost cnc post so that's why they're in this category ahah! they don't have a pinned so proceed w awareness :)
@devout-cleric: hierophilia/religion kink, and i'm something of an acolyte of hers :) if you've read this far down you may as well know i'm her Little Lamb anon lol
piss/omo:
@latenightomo
@pissheartmybeloved - their URL makes me crack up every time, plus good content!
@hold-it-a-little-longer - good scenarios/imagines!
@ohmyrashi - (i think) my original intro to omo!
monsterfucking/terato:
@septimus-moonlight was my first real introduction to trans-positive terato and i've never settled for half-fun cis-oriented terato ever since :) mind tags!
@eggedbellies as well!
@bredpun doesn't appear to be active lately but still good for a scroll!
@steamandcream
@of-mutts-and-men
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hi I'm annon!!
I started tumblr as a artist but I guess I'm moving onto my writing too - I ask you to please be patient because I'm new to writing x readers n such but I will try my best!!
it's been quite a while since I wrote but I can do like 1k to 2k? longer than that might be a little hard for me (`□´) my current hyperfixation; saw series!
next movie on my list; silence of the lambs!
【CHARACTER LIST】
sawyer family (including the game characters!) - texas chainsaw massacre
hewitt family - texas chainsaw masscre remake
jason voorhees - friday the 13th series
michael myers (og and rz) - halloween series
laurie strode/angel myers (og and rz) - halloween series
billy lenz - black christmas 1974 (i will do 2006 version but mostly the 1974 version)
brahms heelshire - the boy
carrie white (and friends) - carrie (og and remakes)
scream team (billy, stu, randy, etc) - scream series (ive only seen 1 and 2 but im making my way through)
harry warden - my bloody valentine (og and remake)
sinclair brothers - house of wax
firefly family - house of 1000 corpses trilogy
dbd characters - dead by daylight
saw characters - any movie! this includes the scott tibbs documentary and saw .5!
herbert west and dan cain - reanimator
patrick bateman - american psycho
edgar, miles, and madeline - electric dreams
hal 9000, frank poole, and dave bowman - 2001: a space odyssey
anyone else you can think of! I'll try my best to learn the character :) these are just everyone I can think of at the moment! I'll do killers and survivors but I know people are more obsessive over the killers lmao
【WILL DO】
anything really..I don't have too many boundaries. I can do anything from hcs, scenarios (i.e. how would ____ react to ____?), smut, fluff, angst...the whole works
and even if you're willing to rant to me about your ocs I could whip up a oc x canon story! :)
also, depending on the media, im open to non horror writes!
【WILL NOT DO】
really not a lot to add here? maybe like...toilet related stuff for nsfw..
just the usuals - no incest (MAYBE for the sawyers since they are canonically inbred but its very situational), p3dophilia, b3astiality, etc etc
MASTERLIST!
GENERAL TAGS; #MANN GEGEN MANN! ➸ OOC/ANNON (also used for my rp blogs!) ↪ mann gegen mann - rammstein
#AND I KNOW WHY YOU DRIVE ME CRAZY MOTH MAN ➸ annons moths ↪ moth man - dirty bynum
#SEARCHIN! SEEK AND DESTROY! ➸ annons art ↪ seek & destroy - metallica
#my face is long forgotten my face is not my own ➸ ask games (again, also in my rp blogs!) ↪ am i evil? - diamond head
FANDOM TAGS;
#game over! ➸ saw writes ↪ jigsaw, apprentices
#its a scream baby! ➸ scream writes ↪ stu macher
#you fudgepackers'll be the death of me yet! ➸ TCM writes ↪ drayton sawyer
#hey paul! ➸ american psycho writes ↪ patrick bateman
#hes dead?/not anymore... ➸ reanimator writes ↪ dan cain/herbert west
#love is give not take so im giving you madeline and taking myself away ➸ electric dreams writes ↪ edgar
#im afraid i cant do that dave ➸ space odyssey writes ↪ hal 9000
WRITING TAGS;
#HEY HEY HEY HEY! HEY STOOPID! ➸ annon writes ↪ hey stoopid! - alice cooper
#I WASNT EVEN A BILL I WAS JUST AN IDEA ➸ annons hcs ↪ im just a bill - school house rock (cover by deluxx folk implosion) #keeping our eyes close to whats going on on the screen ➸ angst writes ↪ slumber - sløtface
#ive got to have faith faith faith ➸ hurt with comfort writes ↪ faith - george michael (and cover by limp bizkit)
#quit actin like a bitch and makin up excuses ➸ hurt with no comfort ↪ i wish i was a riot grrrl - destructo disk
#call me on the line call me anytime ➸ fluff writes ↪ call me - blondie
#rein raus rein raus ➸ smut writes ↪ rein raus - rammstein
#so much for the golden future i cant even start ➸ annons drabbles ↪ breaking the law - judas priest
yeah! thats kinda it! I'll try to reply and write out requests as fast as I can
credit to; @strangergraphics for the awesome dividers!
ꜰᴏʟʟᴏᴡ ᴍᴇ ᴏɴ ᴍʏ ꜱᴀᴡ ʀᴘ ʙʟᴏɢꜱ!
@ᴡʀ4ᴛʜ-ᴏꜰ-ᴛʜᴇ-ɢᴏᴅꜱ @ᴛʀᴀᴘᴘᴇᴅ-ᴛᴡɪɴꜱ @zippyzep @jigsaws-disciples
#tcm#texas chainsaw massacre#slashers x reader#x reader#halloween#rz michael myers#michael myers#ghostface#stu macher#scream franchise#billy loomis#billy lenz#brahms heelshire#the boy 2016#house of 1000 corpses#otis driftwood#house of wax#bo sinclair#lester sinclair#vincent sinclair#friday the 13th#friday the thirteenth#jason voorhees#my bloody valentine#carrie white#thomas hewitt#dead by daylight#american psycho#reanimator
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