#IT'S LIKE YOU DON'T EVEN *WANT* ME TO POST ABOUT SNUFF ADDITIVES

[triflesandparsnips]

...wait, did Stede say he chewed tobacco in his youth?

GUYS, C'MON

SNUFF

DUDES LIKE STEDE SNORTED SNUFF.

AND IT USED TO HAVE ABSOLUTELY WEIRD SHIT IN IT AND NOW I DON'T GET TO RESEARCH. IT. AT ALL.

[mixelation]

more rotating on this post: kakashi dating a civilian OC who has no idea he's a ninja

original proposed concept is they "meet" via icha icha fanzine. i bothered @tozettastone and they suggested that OC be a cosplayer. what does icha icha cosplay even look like? you ever seen IRL naruto coplay that's like "naruko but she wears a miniskirt and fishnets and a lot of makeup." or like fanart of kakashi where he's wearing a bellyshirt for no reason other than to show off his abs. like that, plus some very over-the-top traditional clothing for undercover work and civilian characters. everyone has off the shoulder kimono that show off cleavage and magically stay up, etc

anyway, i can't really see young!kakashi (like 18-19-20?) actively participating in fandom. but maybe he finds a zine somewhere and starts collecting them, like a pre-internet lurker. it's his coping mechanism, okay. he likes fanart. he likes bad fics. and then our lovely OC who's also 19 and fresh to being allowed in the porn section is like: I MADE THE BEETLE WING HAORI HERE'S A PHOTO. there's a note about her sorting through thousands of beetle wings to get the right colors, and also what a nightmare they are to sew, and also what should she try next, mail me here??? and Kakashi is like: oh wow, this person is insane. i have just the challenge. <3

(OC's additional notes on the haori: no one should ever do this again. just don't. you'll regret it)

kakashi is not the only person to write her suggestions, but he IS the only one to suggest something that's actually technically difficult to make, which is what she wanted. so they start swapping letters where she sends him progress updates on this insane thing she is making. he finds this mildly amusing until about a month out from the next con when her letters abruptly turn insane. she WILL premier this cosplay there even if it kills her-- listen if her wig guy isn't up to snuff she'll just LEARN HERSELF--

and listen kakashi isn't going to FALL IN LOVE but this level of commitment is something he can appreciate.

OC sends him a letter about the con (her very first one!!) and going to a con is not something he has any interest in, but like. he is curious to know what they're like, and it's nice to like? have? a friend??

they trade letters for years without actually talking about their personal life much. kakashi is not creative (no writing fic, no fanart, no cosplay, etc) but he IS really good at analysis. you need every detail on naoki's civilian outfit in paradise? he's got you. you don't understand wtf the text is talking about when it describes a weapon? he'll draw you a diagram (and not mention he knows what jiraiya is talking about because it's based on a real thing that was popular for like a month during the third war).

this goes on for years. oc lives in a small town in a little border country with no ninja, and her family runs a clothes shop, and she's deeply bored of making and altering shirts. she has a frustrating life in a very mundane way-- she dates a few guys and doesn't marry any of them and her family gives her grief. she moves to a slightly bigger city and can't get a job doing what she wants (making high-end luxury clothes and/or just insane fashion) and ends up working at a general store and doing minor alterations as a side gig to fund her hobby. she doesn't get to travel around and do cool things as much as she dreamed as a kid. she skips some cons because she doesn't always have the money and also there's a weird guy who'd been low-key stalking her. she tries selling little pre-made costume pieces at a con and doesn't even break even. only a handful of these details make it into her very serious discussion with kakashi about how the many details the icha icha miniseries got wrong

kakashi is.... being kakashi. obviously he doesn't write to her about all the assassinations he's been doing or whatever. but he doesn't mind when OC hints at her own boring problems. it's kind of nice, actually, to know there's people out there having boring problems? anyway one day she complains her landlord won't let her get a dog and he mails her a polaroid of a random dog he met in a park.

i'm thinking around the time of just before canon starts is about when kakashi is at a place where he's like..... okay with sharing some personal details? like he doesn't say a LOT but he realizes it actually feels really nice to write to someone that he's annoyed the store stopped selling his favorite pre-rolled sushi. the letters get sent more frequently and the conversation escalates at a slow, tedious pace. kakashi sends more dog pics. he tells her that he was so exhausted after work that he considered eating dog treats instead of cooking, and this feels like a very big deal to him

her: PLEASE tell me it was at least the fancy kind that look like cookies

him: obviously i would only buy the highest quality treats for my dogs

her: dogS?

kakashi: (ignores this question in the next letter)

kakashi checks his mail everyday now and he's like. oh no my feelings. but also she's in a whole other country and only exists to him in letters and that feels.... safe, somehow.

they met via a club for porn books so they don't "get together" so much as one of their very academic discussions of kink in icha icha violence suddenly turns into deeply sexual letters that have nothing to do with icha icha. there's still their normal conversation but then it's also like "if you were here now, this is what i would do to you--"

OC has been pretty good at not prying into Kakashi's life and she's very understanding of team seven making kakashi's life insane (she's under the impression her got an apprentice for whatever his job is) but she starts bugging him for a photo. kakashi is very against this at first, but then sasuke leaves and naruto leaves and sakura runs off with tsunade and suddenly he has a lot of free time and a big gaping hole in his social life. and like. he DOES really like her. they MIGHT be dating? definitely they have a thing going. so instead he asks if she wants to meet in person

OC agrees but she goes into it VERY nervous. she figures he didn't want to give a photo because he's embarrassed about his appearance, and she doesn't care what he looks like, but what if he lied about other things? what if she walks a whole day to this resort town and he's a weirdo or gross or stood her up?? but she puts on her big girl pants and also her push-up bra and goes

she wasn't actually going to sleep with him for their first meeting but it turns out he is like. hot. and talks just like his letters. and also it's way cheaper to just share one hotel room-- kakashi are you SURE you won't couple cosplay--

[deep-sea-anemone]

I don't know you, I don't know who or what you ship, but my understanding of anti vs. pro means being anti vs. pro-shipping children with adults and if you think the majority opinion is that that is perfectly fine and normal, you need to go outside and touch grass.

Hi!

I assume you're referring to my addition on that poll post. I'm happy to clear a few things up.

Firstly, Proship IS the default opinion and only in recent years has this anti-ship ideology come about (I have my own theories as to why that is, but that's its own can of worms and I specifically just want to adress this ask).

Any Pro vs Anti definitions were made up and forced on proshippers (again, because pro is the default and Antis are new). As such, Antis have skewed the meaning of proship into basically stating that "all proshippers like and endorse this content, and do not discriminate between content or judge the individuals who make it". This actually goes against what proshippers believe. The entire pro-ship philosophy can essentially be boiled down to "don't like, don't read".

There is a whole hoard of fiction that grosses me out. For instance I hate yandere and non-con, and find incest and minor/adult relationships incredibly gross. I even block the "age-gap" tag because even if they are both consenting, having that much of a power imbalance wiggs me out. I've unfollowed some of my favorite artists because they've posted dynamics and scenes that I don't like (Most recently I unfollowed a very popular artist because I found out they ship Sukufushi: a ship between a 16 year old and an ancient demon possessing another 16 year old. Since it's fiction and not reality, you get these wierd nuances that could never happen in the real world and it is up to the individual to decide what they are comfortable with).

A lot of proshippers actually WILL tell you that people who like pedophilic ships or other dark content (such as rape and snuff fics) ARE gross and sick in the head and that the people who think otherwise are delusional. That doesn't mean that I don't believe that they don't have a right to create that content. I just want them to keep it away from me. Hence why I have those tags blocked on tumblr and why I filter them out when I search for fics.

The proshipper philosophy isn't that problematic ideas/ships are good and should be celebrated, and everyone certaintly doesn't believe that it is "perfectly normal", we just think that if you don't like it then, rather than berating the "freaks" who do, simply block and move on and do your best to keep them out of your thoughts, because ultimately, as disgusting as it is, there is no actual harm in it.

Secondly, Antis seem to believe that we proshippers endorse gross/dark content in real life. I assure you that that is NOT the case. And if an individual does, in fact enact their ficticious-but-irl-illegal fantasies, then that is not an example of the pro-shipper caving in and acting out their sick desires in the real world. It is the case of a REAL LIFE pedophile (or whatever) coming into fandom spaces and then interacting with or creating dark content. Is it possible that this happens? Sure. That doesn't mean that it is the default or even common, and basically every proshipper is in agreement that they are disgusting individuals. Again, this is because proshippers believe that fiction should remain fiction. Any time that make-believe turns into real-world actions, it is no longer make-believe and is now a real danger. Antis refuse to see the difference between the two.

You also mentioned touching grass which I think is a little ironic. The proshipper philosophy is that as long as fiction remains fiction, it has no bearing on the real world. It is Antis that have a hard time recognizing that playing pretend isn't the same as physical wrongdoing. Hence, why proshippers use the term "touch grass": it's meant to remind people that there is more to life than fantasy and online discourse, That it's important to log off and go "touch grass" to remind yourself that there is a difference between the tangible real-world and the imaginary scenarios that people create in their heads.

If you (and others! This isn't meant to be a callout, just informative) have difficulty comprehending this, I encourage you to consider the following scenarios:

1) Murder Mysteries: just because someone writes someone getting murdered, does not mean that they would want to see it happen,and certainly not commit it in real life.

2) BDSM: no party that willingly engages in bdsm is truly getting hurt (except to the extent that they want to be). Smacking someone during sessions does not mean that that person would ever do it in real life, and certainly wouldn't support others doing it

3) rape fantasies: this sort of goes along with bdsm, but there is a large difference between having faith that your trusted partner would never hurt you and only acts out a scenario because you ask them to, and being forced against your will to engage in harmful and/degrading sex acts.

4) Shooter Games: For a long time, people believed that playing violent video games corrupted children's moral and made them crave violence and increased the likelihood that they would want to renact that violence and turn into school shooters. There was actually a study done a while ago examining the link between video game violence and real life consequences....and they found nothing. There was no correlation between committing fictional violence and real world impact.

Fiction =/= real life.

Secondly, Antis have a tendency to invade people's inboxes and leave hate comments everywhere. Sometimes this is just saying "this is gross", but often Antis start harassment campaigns, recruiting multiple individuals to scare and intimidate people whose content they don't like (One tactic is to dump hundreds of graphic, gory images into peoples inboxes. I'm sure you can see how that would be traumatizing). Antis also have a history of doxxing people and causing this ficticious content to cause real-life harm to come to people. This is especially concerning since one of the most common things Antis like to parrot is some variation of "kill yourself".

A lot of Antis actually ARE proshippers, they just don't realize it because they get so caught up with the Anti's hate philosophy that they believe that willingly not engaging with content that they don't like (rather than harassing and condemning people who do) is what proshippers stand against. This is why some proshippers use the terms "anti-harrasment" and "pro-censorship" rather than proshippers and antishippers because it helps to clarify what the pro-shipper philosophy ACTUALLY is.

*phew* that was a long post, wasn't it? Let's both go touch grass together 🤝

[biofuckingshock]

Twincest?? Dude what the fuck?? Jfc

So, before I start: Yes, this is the ask I received in the first place, obviously about the fact I posted Lutecest.

And, I'll be honest, yes this ask made me question many things. The fact I had no qualm posting the Lutecest post in the first place, that I knew I had done it before and I did not have any issue with it personally or via any other person who followed BFS at the time, the fact I don't care/mind about twin/incest ship pairings too much in general, but seemed to very much mind/care about that fact for a very specific pairing of a completely different fandom (and yet not for another pairing with one of those characters that is also considered incest), and more importantly, what all of this together said about my own morals and ethics and beliefs and practices (especially the disconnect and lack of thought and consideration between them).

And, while I won't go into that on this particular ask (I have two other asks to respond to after this where I will do exactly that), I will say this instead: The Lutecest post I reblogged the other day is going to stay.

In fact, from here on out, any Lutecest post that I like and want to reblog, I will do so.

However, some things of import to note:

All ship posts will be (as they have been) tagged as "ships".

A new addition in tagging posts moving forward is that every post with a ship pairing will be tagged with that ship pairing's (most popular/well-known) name.

I realize that somethings are not some people's "cup of tea" and that's perfectly fine, but I will be continuing to post such content moving forward. I do also realize that might leave some people in a terrible position, aka: loving BFS' normal content but not wanting to see certain ship pairings. And that's okay to be on the fence like that.

In fact, a very wonderful function Tumblr has somewhat recently added to their site is the ability to filter posts via their tags and/or their post contents (via text at least). This is the very reason I have brought up about how I will tag ship posts from here on so that for those who still wish to view BFS content in general but don't want to see posts about specific pairings, well there you go! A little handy solution for you!

Another thing to add on top of that, is that I do realize past posts on this blog are not up to snuff when it comes to their tagging. I know, I know. I said I would do that and then didn't. Honestly, because I knew it would be a bunch of work and effort to meticulously go back and reexamine and fix tags of every single old post on this blog. But I am going to do that very soon. (Even if the tag page won't look "pretty" now. Thanks Tumblr for completely removing the usage of Javascript from page themes. -.-)

Anyway, I bring this up because I know that that also means old ship posts on this blog do not have both the tagging requirements I just listed above. Obviously, right now they do not, but I just wanted to let you all know in the soon to be future, they will.

Now, as for BFS' "official stance" on this situation and what I will do moving forward, that's all of it. My thoughts on all this, however, will more detailed via the next two asks I post.

From your beloved time-traveling blog mod,

r

[cryptidsurveys]

Monday, July 15th, 2024.

Do you have the right time set on your microwave?: No.

Do you have any old newspaper articles? Why?: I don't.

Do you have a flat screen tv or just a regular box?: We have a flat screen in the family room and a regular box in the living room. However, we basically never use either one.

Do you have a radar detector for your car?: No.

Have you ever been arrested? For what?: No.

Do you know how to change the oil in your car?: I don't, but this reminds me that I need to get my oil changed soon.

Have you taken your shower yet?: I have. I took one earlier this morning as well as when I arrived home from the animal shelter.

Do you like Tootsie Rolls?: They're not my favorite, but they're alright.

Do you have a printer? What kind?: Yeah. I think it's "Brother."

Are you seeing anybody currently?: I'm not.

Do you or have you ever smoked cigarettes?: Yeah. A habit I still, unfortunately, have not kicked.

Do you like it when it snows?: Yesss. Absolutely love it. I didn't really get to do much driving in the snow last winter because my abilities weren't yet up to snuff, but hopefully next winter. Even with the additional task of scraping my car windows, I still prefer winter over summer. Nothing could make me love this heat. D;

Are your ears pierced?: They aren't. I had them pierced a couple of times when I was younger, but they got infected and I just let them close up.

Where do you do most of your shopping?: Walmart.

Who do you live with?: I live with my dad and three kitties.

Do you have a big yard?: Yeah, both the front and back yards are fairly big.

Do you live in the country or the city?: I live in a medium-sized city. Also, I was driving home from the animal shelter yesterday and it hit me; maybe it was just the post-rainstorm grime affecting my perception, but this place is starting to look really rundown. Like, I know many of the homes and buildings are now 30 years older than when I first moved here, but still…things just look bad. We're all poor here, lmao.

Do you sleep alone or with someone every night?: Two of my kitties sleep with me.

Did you have a treehouse as a child?: No. I always wanted one, though. That and one of those ride-in Barbie Jeeps. My two biggest unfulfilled childhood desires. :')

At what age did you obtain your driver license?: Twenty. But I stopped driving for a long time and didn't pick it up again until last October.

Do you look in the newspaper for coupons?: No. We don't receive the newspaper anymore.

Did you get a big tax refund from last year?: No.

Do you like Slim Jim’s?: I don't think I've ever had one.

Is there someone you would love to punch right now?: No.

Did you grow up fast?: No. I feel like I'm still catching up to the expectations of adulthood.

What are you favorite kind of chips?: Jalapeno kettle chips, hot Cheetos, lime, sour cream and onion, and cheese.

Have you taken any medicine recently? For what?: Migraine meds.

What have you eaten today?: I had my usual oatmeal concoction for breakfast, a granola bar for a snack, and a salad with chicken and Korean BBQ trail mix for lunch.

Did you or are you going to wash your hair today?: I did.

Does the water in your shower take a long time to get warm?: No.

Where did you go today?: I went to the animal shelter. I was there with Diane and Cassie, and Diane sort of stormed out of cattery without saying anything to anyone after she was finished with her tasks (which…isn't necessarily unusual). Cassie was like, "wtf, what did I do?" Like maybe there was some sort of minor miscommunication about something and Diane was upset about it. She also told me that one of the reasons Lucy didn't show up on Sat/Sun was because she didn't like being around Diane, and Cassie isn't particularly impressed with her behavior either.

I feel bad for Lucy because she really wasn't given the warmest reception. Diane can be tough to get to know and impatient with new employees, but I don't feel like anyone has really been all that nice to Lucy. I don't know why, either. They say she's quiet and sarcastic (which seem like great personality traits to me, lmao), and they have some complaints about her work ethic, but…idk, maybe some of her lack of enthusiasm comes from a feeling of not fitting in.

Cassie also told me that Alex seems like she's approaching her bullshit limit, and that if Alex quits, she's going to quit too because she doesn't like working with anyone else. She's like, yeah, I need the money, but I don't need this job specifically. Idk what's going to happen down the line. Alex has been hinting at quitting for a long time now, so it's one of those "I'll believe it when I see it" situations. I think she at least wants to finish her schooling and then go on to be a vet tech or something similar, but who knows. On one hand, I wouldn't be surprised if she was gone within the next year, but I wouldn't be surprised if she stayed either.

Are you sleepy right now?: Not really.

What color is your mousepad?: I don't have a mousepad. I just roll it around on my desk.

Should you be doing something else at the moment?: No.

Do you like your neighbors?: Yeah.

Do you have bedroom shoes?: I have slippers, but I don't have bedroom-specific shoes.

Do you get your eyebrows waxed?: No.

Has anyone given you flowers recently?: No.

Do you work Monday thru Friday?: I'm at the animal shelter Sun-Tues and Thurs-Fri.

Is there anything you are looking forward to tomorrow?: Yeah.

How many miles does your car have on it?: Around 65,000.

Is your alarm clock set to radio or beep?: N/a.

Do you like to go fishing?: No. Like, I wouldn't mind going with people and watching them fish (mostly for the opportunity to be out in nature), but I wouldn't want to participate.

Has anyone you know been arrested recently?: No.

Do you have more than 1 email address?: Yeah.

Do you think you will have the same job 2 years from now?: Maybe by then I will be well enough + have my shit together enough to be ~actually employed~ at the animal shelter. Yes, despite all the BS surrounding it, I still want to make it long-term/lifelong thing.

Do you have central heating and air?: Yeah.

Do you speed while driving?: Sometimes a little bit, especially on the boulevard. The speed limit is 55, but the flow of traffic is closer to 60-65.

Is there someplace you would rather be right now?: Naw. Here is fine.

Did you build the computer you are using?: No.

Do you have good computer speakers?: They're fine.

Are you waiting on anything at the moment?: For my dad to get home.

Where is your favorite person?: He's at lunch with Jim.

Do you ever shop at Harris Teeter? No.

Do you like to burn incense?: Not anymore. I liked it a lot when I was a kid, though.

Are there any plants in your house?: No.

[sst4rdst]

⋆ ⸜ rules + dni .ᐟ

please make sure that you've read these rules prior to interacting with me. also, do note that i'll delete any requests that are sent as i do not accept them. though, you're always free to send any ramble about random thirsts or concept!

1. do not interact if you are racist, homophobic, transphobic, terf/radfem, ship underage character with adult character, support israel, maps/no-maps, fetishize mlm and wlw, anti dark content.

2. this blog is 18+, if your a minor i'll block you without warning. if you don't have any indicator of your age in your bio/pinned post, i'll assume that you are a minor.

3. my tumblr runs on queue, please be patient and avoid spamming in my askbox. if it isn't against my rules i'll answer it.

4. don't come to me talking/thirsting about a fandom i never mentioned before. although, you are free to ask if i've watched/played/readed something!

5. do not share my works on other platforms or repost on tumblr. simply reblog a post if you liked it.

6. do not copy, heavily inspire or modify my work. i also do not allow translations.

7. this is a dark content blog. don't like, don't interact.

8. my blog is a safe space for transmasc, nobinary and masc readers and i try my best to keep all my works gender neutral. the only exception of this rule being transmasc reader, only if i find it too hard to not use pronouns or just want to be a little self indulgent.

9. if nsfw, reader is always sub.

10. i do not do requests! but thirst are always welcomed.

do not expect this here:

‑ i would appreciate if you don't mention genitals in thirst unless transmasc reader.

‑ i don't write for fem characters.

‑ i will not write for any character with kid/teenager body type or age, even if they canonically are adults.

‑ in addition, i'll not age up characters.

‑ i don't specify anything body related in my writing (skin color, hairstyle, skinny/chubby, etc).

‑ hard no: necro, scat/piss, incest (including pseudo/step), dom reader/sub character, age regression, ddlg, pregnancy, food play, gore, vore, snuff, pet play, minor/adult.

‑ no character x character.

[bigprettygothgf]

I saw u repost my addition to that horror post LMAO hsjfnebff was never expecting to see that. never knew I was so interesting. anyways... if y'all think I'm "passing judgement" you're funny. I have my own perception of horror and what draws me to it. that being, I like being SCARED, and I like the deeper themes it deals with and how it uses certain imagery and scenarios to express those themes without being forthright. more than half the time I talk to another horror fan, they recommend me borderline snuff films(things from the iceberg usually)and tell me how it's SOOOO GOOD but they never mention scary. I watch them, some have a deeper theme, and they're not scary, they're just gross. which is fine for other people but I find doing things for shock value over and over again is.... boring... and not scary.. and it usually overshadows and distracts from whatever point is being made or is extremely pretentious. all that being said, I have no problem w those fans. I just, we are not in the same boat! I watch some of those gore centric movies and I think "oh they like this because it's very sexual and is using gore in a highly sexual way and that is interesting to them" which is FINE but that doesnt get ME going, so to recommend it to me, knowing the main reason you like it is because its horny.... HONESTLY gets annoying. like when I recommend ppl stuff, I tend to try to steer towards things I'd think they'd like instead of imposing my niche fetish onto someone who just wants a good jump scare. JUST SAYIN LOL. my advice to the ppl who see that post: you're a unique individual with opinions and experiences that make you YOU. that's incredible!! be confident in that! believe it or not, this world is made up of MANY ppl who are alllll sooo totally different and without all the conflicting opinions, we'd live in purgatory! so be confident in your opinions and how you feel! it's the only thing that makes us all real! someone having an opposing opinion or a unique experience says nothing negative or positive about you. don't internalize other ppls unique perceptions of life. in the nicest way, it has nothing to do with you :)

i never said anything about passing judgement and i wasnt even like trying to be mean i just wanted to make a stupid joke about jacking off im going to be honest i didnt realise how many notes that post had until just now bc i ignored all notifications of that post bc people were being weird in the replies

and if anyone has been insane enougn to try and track you down over that post to send harassment im genuinely sorry

[bluemusickid]

Holi Celebrations!

HEYYOOOO! So this was pretty last minute, and idek if people would want to participate, but I have 700 followers rn (how does that happen?! IMMA DIEE 😭😭😭) (also if this fails i'm gonna delete it and we can pretend like it never existed kthanxbai)

As most of you know, I’m a desi (and proud <3), and holi is one of my favourite festivals! It’s the festival of colours, and the joy and energy is palpable in the air, esp where I live! (not currently, coz of COVID 😭😭). You can read more about the history and background here and here.

I wanted to spread the joy with everyone here, desis and non-desis alike, so hence, this!! You can write a fic, create a moodboard, make GIFs, make art, whatever you feel like! The main theme surrounding this whole challenge is COLOURS.

Each original work will have to be related to a colour, or the meaning behind the colour. For instance:

Red is for energy, passion and danger

Orange is for creativity, youth and enthusiasm

Yellow is for happiness, hope and spontaneity

Green is for nature, growth and harmony—but also wealth and stability

Blue is for calm, trust and intelligence (my fav lolol)

Purple is for luxury, mystery and spirituality

Pink is for femininity, playfulness and romance

Brown is for wholesomeness, warmth and honesty

Of course, if it means something else for you, you can centre your work around that meaning. :) oh, and incase of any doubts, just drop me an ask or a message and I'll be happy to answer all queries!!

Deadline: 30th April, 2021. (can be extended, dw :) )

Rules (in case of fics):

No sexual situations with minors, no bodily functions, and no snuff. Non-con and dub-con must fall within the bounds of commonly posted dark fics.

300-400 words minimum, no max! (Please put your story under a cut after the first 150 words or so 🙏🏻)

Choose a colour and mention the reason behind choosing the same. (eg. A fic about Ransom and Purple, since it symbolises luxury./ him being enamored by the colour because of how rich it looked OR even about the festival of holi itself, whatever you feel like! :))

Original works only! (it can be part of a series, as a separate segue/oneshot)

You don't need to follow me to join in, everyone is welcome here!

Please tag me (aka @bluemusickid) so that I can reblog as many fics as possible.

Include the tag #LexisHoliDay2021, and #bluemusickid700challenge 

Any genre accepted! Can be fluff, angst, AU, dark, etc.

Can be reader insert or original characters.

Please include warnings where needed (for smut, explicit language, explicit sexual content, non-con, dub-con, dark fic, 18+, etc.) as well as warning tags.

Any Marvel or MCU Characters allowed, in addition to Chris and his characters. Other fandoms welcome, just send an ask so that I’m in the loop. 😊

Tagging (no pressure whatsoever, no hard feelings if you don’t want to!): 

@donutloverxo @gotnofucks @imdarkinme @cloudystevie @ironlady1993 @henrythickcavill @ozarkthedog @pagesoflauren @savior-adriana @chrissquares @drabblewithfrannybarnes @worksby-d @stargazingfangirl18 @jtargaryen18 @navybrat817​ @smutsonian​ @captainsdolly​ @the-soulofdevil​ 

[ethereal-not-occult]

patience and the mulberry

"With time and patience, the mulberry leaf becomes a silk gown."

Fandom: Good Omens Rating: General Audiences Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply Relationships: Aziraphale/Crowley (Good Omens) Characters: Crowley (Good Omens), Aziraphale (Good Omens) Additional Tags: Post-Canon, Established Relationship, Ineffable Husbands (Good Omens), Fluff and Angst, Character(s) of Color, Sericulture, silkworms, past religious trauma, but nothing bad happens in this fic I promise, mixed bookverse w/ TV elements, references to Chinese culture Notes: Originally written for the @goodomensfashionzine​ !

“I'll only be a minute, dear.” Aziraphale kissed Crowley's cheek as he opened the door of the Bentley. “You don't have to see me to the door if you don't want to.”

Crowley tightened his grip on the wheel. “Sure, angel. Sounds good to me.” The sibilants slid far too quickly past his clenched jaw, and he bit his tongue to stop the instinctive hiss from escaping.

Aziraphale gave him a sympathetic look, but shut the Bentley's door behind him and soon disappeared through the doors of the church. Once he was out of sight, Crowley slumped forward slightly, sliding his sunglasses up and rubbing at his eyes. A few deep breaths later, and he felt composed enough to exit the Bentley himself in blatant disregard for the “NO PARKING” sign on the curb.¹

[¹ Given his new job position (or lack thereof), lawbreaking was no longer a necessity, but old habits die hard.]

The bright afternoon sun made him wince a bit, and two robins in a nearby bush were getting frisky in a way he would never be able to unhear, but they made it easier to forget the distant wail of air sirens. Even standing out on the road, Crowley's skin prickled faintly with the remembered sting of consecrated ground.

He pushed the feeling aside and walked resolutely forward. Aziraphale was bound to take his sweet time as he mooned over the church's dusty old tomes, but Crowley had his own investigations to conduct while he waited. No rest for the wicked and all that.

The concrete pavement under his snakeskin shoes gave way to grass, and the tingling sensation in his soles faded. Soon he found himself at his intended destination—an Edenic grove of mulberry trees, clustered together in a ring in the church's backyard. He'd spotted them on the drive over and couldn't resist the temptation of a closer look.

Crowley wandered into the garden with a scrutinizing eye. They were young, for trees, but growing well despite their callowness. A particularly stocky sapling hardly flinched when Crowley gave it a token glare, much to his disappointment. Then again, outdoor plants were rarely as well-behaved as properly cowed houseplants. It seemed this attitude persisted even in ecclesiastic gardens such as these.

He cast a surreptitious glance over his shoulder, then reached a hand up into the tree's umbrella-like branches and tugged. The season wasn't quite right for fruits, but he still withdrew clutching a handful of dark ripe mulberries. Hardly apples, but his lips twitched upwards nonetheless. He plucked a berry from the pile and raised it to his lips.

“Zaoshang hao!”

Only a hasty miracle saved Crowley from choking as he jumped and swiveled around. Hovering right outside the churchyard was a middle-aged human, well-dressed and smiling pleasantly at him. Judging by her formal clothing and the Bible she carried, she was a part of the congregation, maybe even the priest herself. Crowley swallowed and stepped backwards.

“Ni shi jiaohui de xinshou ma?” the human called again, picking her way across the dewy grass in his direction. Crowley eyed the Bible she held, willing himself not to break out into hives.

“Um. Wo bu—er, no. I'm not new. Not here for church at all, actually.” He fidgeted and clasped his hands, still full of pilfered mulberries, behind his back. “Just waiting for someone.”

The human raised an eyebrow. “You're welcome to wait inside, if you like,” she said, also switching to English. “I reckon we still have biscuits left from the children's morning service—”

“No!” Crowley said too quickly, and perhaps too sharply. He winced. “I mean. That won't be necessary. I'd much rather stay out here, if it isn't too much trouble.”

The human gave him a Look. Crowley's cheeks heated and he averted his eyes, willing his sunglasses a few shades darker.

“Beautiful, aren't they?”

Crowley's head shot back up. The human had turned her back to him and was running a hand through the glossy green leaves of the nearest mulberry tree. Crowley could practically see the branches stretch out in delight beneath her touch, like a purring cat.

“Volunteers from our congregation take care of them,” the human continued, smiling at the young tree. “The kids here like raising silkworms, you see, and we welcome them to pick leaves from the trees each week to feed them.”

Silkworms. Of course. Despite himself, a hazy memory rose to the forefront of his mind: Sichuan, China, several hundreds of years ago. A family farm, weathered and cozy and oozing enough sheer goodness to make the average demon ill with it. Crowley wouldn't normally be caught dead in such a place, but he had owed a favour to the angel. His fingers twitched at the phantom memory of butter-soft silk fibres against his skin; long, winding threads that stretched out thin and fine, tangling so easily around his uncertain fingers. With this memory came the golden, moon-round face of a child he hadn't thought about in centuries, grinning toothily as they held out a box to him, a box filled with small pale larvae that wriggled among the spade-shaped leaves. “Zhe jiao can.”

Crowley forced himself to return to the present. The human was speaking to him.

“—waiting on Mr. Fell?” she asked.

Crowley blinked. Shook himself a little. “Yeah. He's helping out with the restoration of some old manuscript or other.”

The human smiled again. It was an unnervingly piercing expression. “I'm aware. I was the one who requested his help. Such a lovely man. Are you a friend of his?”

Crowley tensed. “His husband, actually.”

He braced himself, but the human only brightened. “Goodness, then you must be Mr. Crowley! Mr. Fell talks ever so much about you. Finally gone and tied the knot then, have you?”

Before Crowley could stammer out a reply, something dinged loudly, making him jump. The human pulled a phone out from her pocket and squinted at the screen.

“Sorry, I have to run back inside. But it was lovely meeting you, Mr. Crowley.” She stuck out a hand—thankfully not the one that had been holding the Bible—and after a brief hesitation, Crowley shook it. As quickly as she had arrived, the human disappeared from the garden, leaving Crowley alone and off-kilter amid a grove of mulberry trees.

---

Aziraphale emerged from the church around an hour later to find Crowley seated on the curb next to the Bentley, basking in the last rays of the afternoon sun as he scrolled through his phone.

“My dear,” the angel sighed. His joints creaked as he eased himself down to sit next to Crowley on the roadside. “Don't tell me you've been sitting here the entire time.”

“Nope,” Crowley said, popping the ‘p’. “I toured the gardens for a bit. Swiped some fruits, too. The mulberries aren’t half-bad, for a bunch of church plants, but they’ll need a good deal more threatening before they're really up to snuff.”

Crowley stopped when he saw Aziraphale chewing his lip, brow furrowed as he studied Crowley's face. Now it was Crowley's turn to sigh.

“Really, angel. It's fine. I was hardly bored.”

The expression didn't leave Aziraphale's face. A soft brown hand reached out and brushed aside stray wisps of hair from Crowley's forehead. The demon hadn't bothered to cut it since the Apocalypse-that-wasn't, and it was growing longer and more unruly by the day.

“I'm fine.” Crowley caught Aziraphale's hand and held it, carefully. He pressed his lips against the well-manicured fingers. “It was years ago, angel, and we both came out of it all right. You don't need to worry about me.”

Aziraphale still looked vaguely distressed as Crowley drew him close. With the sun setting behind him, framing his face and curly dark hair in a golden halo, he was the most beautiful thing Crowley had ever seen.

He kissed him then, right there on the road, in full sight of the church and probably Someone Else, too, if She happened to be watching at that particular moment. Once, he would've been terrified of such a public display, but he hadn't gone through hellfire and holy water to care anymore about what others thought of them.

As he helped Aziraphale into the Bentley, he noticed abruptly that the angel was carrying what appeared to be a shoebox, of all things, along with his usual camelhair coat.

“What on Earth is that?”

“Oh!” Aziraphale carefully pushed the box over to Crowley. “Mrs. Lao gave it to me once I'd finished with those manuscripts. She said it was a gift for you, actually. Have the two of you met before?”

Crowley stared down at the box, baffled. “We talked for a bit in the gardens just now, but I can’t imagine why…”

He trailed off, and his mouth dropped open as Aziraphale eased open the lid and beheld the contents with a raised eyebrow.

“Good heavens. Are those caterpillars?”

“Silkworms,” Crowley corrected automatically, leaning in for a closer look. There were so many of them, somehow both smaller and larger than he remembered, all white and wiggly and chomping away busily at the layers of mulberry leaves filling their box. None of them paid any attention whatsoever to their occult observers hovering above them.

“Why would she give you such a thing? Not that they aren't dear little creatures,” Aziraphale added hastily, glancing into the box, “but I doubt I have the means to keep them in the bookshop.”

“No need,” Crowley said before he could stop himself. “I can raise 'em in my flat.”

Aziraphale gave him a curious look. “You know how to care for these… insects?”

“Yeah.” Crowley gently shut the lid of the inhabited shoebox and curled a hand around the Bentley's stick-shift. “I've done something like this, before. I know what I'm doing.”

“If you say so.” Suddenly Aziraphale chuckled. At Crowley's affronted look, he demurred, “I'm not making fun, my dear. It's only that you still manage to surprise me, even after all these years.”

Aziraphale leaned in and pecked Crowley's cheek, making him blush red and sputter. Much to his disgruntlement, the Bentley chirped a light-hearted rendition of Haydn's Crazy Little Thing Called Love all the way home.

---

Crowley had spent the past eleven years co-parenting the Antichrist with Aziraphale.² They had faced this challenge head-on, and in his opinion, it hadn’t gone too shabbily. Now, without the threat of the Apocalypse hanging over his head, becoming a surrogate parent was far less daunting the second time around.

[² Even if young Warlock hadn't really been the son of Satan, it was the principle of the thing.]

Still, Crowley worried. He had always been something of a worrier, and that hadn't changed even after the First Day of the Rest of Their Lives.

After dropping off Aziraphale at the bookshop, Crowley returned to his flat, where he commenced the preparations for introducing his unexpected twenty-odd guests to their new home. This was accomplished by miracling up a small glass aquarium onto his desk, lining the bottom with paper towels, and carefully (read: nervously) placing the silkworms one by one into the tank. Once this was done, Crowley scattered the half-eaten mulberry leaves from the box around the aquarium. The silkworms set upon their interrupted lunch with all the enthusiasm of Aziraphale devouring a meringue pie at the Ritz.

Crowley slumped into his chair, took off his sunglasses with a wince, and rested his chin on his desk, staring into the glass tank.

“I raised your ancestors once, you know,” Crowley informed the wriggling creatures. “Tiny farm in China several centuries back. We'd weave branches together into a tray and let you loose inside. Bit like how manmade beehives work, or something.”

Crowley paused. Watched one silkworm slowly inch its way across a stem to tackle a new section of leaf. “‘Course, humans use wire mesh nowadays, but the general premise is the same. Always thought it was bloody clever, what humans could come up with. If you gave me a bunch of moth larvae and told me to make a living out of them, I definitely wouldn't think to make clothes.” He snorted. “Whoever came up with that, I'd like a glass of whatever they were drinking.”

The silkworms munched on. They ate much faster than they crawled, that was certain. In the quiet walls of his flat, away from prying human eyes, Crowley loosened the knot of his silk tie and tugged it off, easing the tightness around his neck.

“You're the ones who made this, in a sense,” he said, waving the tie at them. He laid the tie beside one glass wall of the tank at just the right angle for the inhabitants within to see. Several silkworms looked up curiously.

Crowley tossed his suit jacket aside, then unbuttoned his shirt collar. He had always prided himself on his sharp, modern attire over the years, the better to tempt humans with—or so he claimed. Despite repeated scoldings from his superiors, his Lust quotas had never been quite up to par.

Sufficiently dishevelled, and feeling all the freer for it, Crowley sank back into his chair to watch the silkworms.

“The only thing I didn't like about the process was the boiling,” he murmured. “Logically, I can see why it was done. And you would all be in cocoons, so it's not like you'd be in any pain. Not like I was.” He exhaled, the sound becoming a low hiss. “But still. Never liked it. Always felt like an awful lot of trouble just for the sake of some silk threads.”

One particularly adventurous silkworm had nosed its way upwards and was now creeping over the edge of the tank opening. Crowley made a mental note to devise a lid of some kind and stuck his finger against the lip of the tank. The silkworm crawled onto his hand without any hesitation. Tentatively, he drew it closer. Its many feet stuck stubbornly to his skin, and it reared up as he approached, swaying slightly, its mandibles twitching.

Crowley stared at the silkworm. The silkworm stared back, and seemed disappointed when Crowley had nothing else to offer. Just to prove it wrong, Crowley materialized a single large mulberry leaf in his other hand and presented it to the insect, who fell upon it with gluttonous enthusiasm.

Staring at the miracled leaf, an idea formed in Crowley's mind. He smiled, slowly.

“I need a hobby, now that I'm jobless,” he said aloud to the silkworm, letting it creep onto his palm. He ran a careful finger over its smooth back. “I think I'll take up sericulture again, for old time's sake.” He reached back into the tank and gently encouraged the silkworm to crawl back inside.

“Humans have to boil you alive to get those nice unbroken threads off your cocoons,” Crowley mused, withdrawing his hand. “Fortunately, I don't have to do things the human way.” He lowered himself until he was eye-level with the inhabitants of the tank. The silkworm he had carried paused in its perpetual eating and turned its head, almost like it was looking at him.

“How's this?” Crowley asked. “You'll be able to grow into a fuzzy, fully grown silk-moth, and I can take your cocoon after you've finished with it and miracle the threads whole again.” He paused and mulled it over. “I guess I could take it a step further and just miracle the finished silk together, but there's still something to be said about the human way of doing things.”

The silkworm bobbed the front half of its body as though in agreement. Crowley smiled again.

“We can make silk, and no one gets hurt. I'm a few hundred years out of practice, but I'm sure I could make it work, somehow.”

The silkworm turned its attention back to its meal. Crowley didn't notice. He was too busy wondering if Aziraphale had any old texts on silk-weaving that he could borrow, just so he could refresh his memory.

The angel would appreciate having a new silk bowtie to add to his collection.

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