#IM GLAD PEOPLE AGREE BUT STILL
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WHY ARE Y'ALL STILL LIKING THIS FUCK OFFFFFF LMAO
I'm thinking about Tangerine again :(
I want him. <3
#this post should not be so popular wtf lmao#i mean#IM GLAD PEOPLE AGREE BUT STILL#AAAAAAA#self reblog#tmi duckie
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there is no game that makes me feel like I'm the only one who's right about it than elden ring
#when i see reddit or twitter or tumblr theories or some shit#like 80% of the time im sitting there like amazing. everything word of what you just said is wrong#20% of the time im like no youre so right youre so based i have a crush on you#my MOST outlandish theory is that messmer and melina are children on marika and the gloam eyed queen. AT LEAST melina is#(btw absolutely heartbroken there werent even CRUMBS of the godskins nor the GEQ in the dlc)#(like the GEQ's death was a catalyst for marika's golden order to form)#i like know that elden ring is super obscure and vague with what it tells you but there are fr some people who wholeass dont know#that miquella=st. trina#or that before the dlc even happened miquella/st trina was shown to be manipulative and flighty#bouncing between one thing and the other#of course he would parallel his mother#and there are STILL people who think Malenia's 3rd bloom hasnt happened like.........#there's one in her and radahn's showdown. one on the way to the haligtree roots. and the final one is during her battle w you#like in her boss fight she turns into the goddess of rot. what is wrong with you guys. what more do you need#glad everyone agreed on mohg beating the allegations tho👍#elden ring#shadow of the erdtree#shadow of the erdtree spoilers#elden ring sote#sote spoilers#spoilers
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hi hello here’s a horrid concept for you all that has been haunting me for weeks. the idea of this as a fluffybird song ok goodnight
[logs out immidiately]
#do i agree with it? NO#but the thought came to me and since then i burst out laughing when this song comes into rotation#GOD THE CONCEPT. IS SO FUNNY.#ITS SO FUNNY#I WOULD DO AN ANIMATIC IF IT WOULDNT LOOK INSANE TO ANYONE WHO WASNT ME#honestly i might still do one. last verse rocks. Good God Im Glad To See YAAAAAAAH#FOR CONTEXT. FOR PEOPLE WHO DONT KNOW IT ISNT ABOUT SMTH GROSS ITS ABT THE MELLIFIED MAN#ITS NOT A METAPHOR#just realized non LD fans exist and are real#anyways no i only apply the funniest songs to them in my heart in my mind in my soul#THIS ONE. AND A GOOFY CARO EMERALD SONG MAKE ME LAUGH SO HARD THINKING ABT THEM#its like that time i was listening to a true crime doc#and someone said#'would you come murder my husband for me ✨Military Man✨?'#and i was like wow duck would say that and then i laughed so hard i missed the actual murder#like a plague on my mind these two#my dhmis postings
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almost done with The Book and im going to try my hardest to avoid this showing up in any main tags for my Safety but i dont see where people are coming out of this drawing super fluffy art of The Guy and The Shape theres like one page where The Guy is happy about the situation and then the rest of it is just The Shape verbally and physically abusing him
#simon says#look i agree toxic yaoi and all but thats not what im talking about#im talking about the art i kept seeing of them being happy funny goofy together#there wasnt any of that it was all literally just abuse. like plain and simple he wasnt happy through any of it :sob:#i guess people can interpret things however they want and draw whatever they want but it still makes me feel weird but i guess thats just m#im glad this book expanded on that stuff though because holy shit i feel so awful for The Guy
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omg i just learned tht aa fandom's main character of the week from like a month ago who was getting egged on for hating nick has been the same person whose opinions ive been going thru like gumdrops
#im not on board with all of their interpretations but theyre genuinely critical of phoenix and the misogyny in aa which is awesome to me#i feel bad tht so many people went after them simply for having alternate interpretations of the characters#bc like.... their interpretations arent baseless. i do agree theres enough context to imply phoenix being a bad father#im glad theyre still posting what they want even after getting ratioed like hell#god just thinking abt being ratioed on twt.... this is why ill be a tumblrina 4ever
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people acting like a puke bowl/bucket/whatever is sooooo disgusting really annoy me. im very glad for you that you were able to make it to the toilet in time or that you never threw up so you didnt have any kind of need for it or whatever happened but like. its not gross. to just have it in case. you're being weird
#'the toilet exists lmfao...' yes it does im so glad you know that! thats also the main target of vomiting in when you have a puke bowl!#consider also that sometimes small children (or even adults but im using us as an example rn) cant traverse any distance while about#to puke because there ks absolutely no 'holding it' or 'running faster' there is only puke now get it out get it out go go go#when we were little the bathroom was Directly next to our bedroom and it took about 20 seconds#to get to the toilet from our bed. we still couldnt make it to the toilet in time?#we would literally wake up with vomit already coming out. the puke bowl is a minimizer of mess .#i agree the people using it as a popcorn bucket are kind of gross! but it in and of itself is not. gross.
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I agree it bothers me how 12 treated Raph I think the writers just don’t understand him. Raph deserves better in my opinion. He’s so misunderstood I love him especially 03
so true bestie. all the 2012 turtles deserved so much better. but like. very especially Raph and Leo
#theo asks!#anon ask#justice for 2012 Raph 😤#the leo post is still in my drafts because theres so much to unpack#thanks for the ask!#im glad there are some people who agree with me fr
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when i was playing a board game the other night w my friends* i started snapping to stim and someone else joined in and then like almost everyone was doing a rhythm together like we were making a song and it was cool but SO unexpected, then we did the we will rock you stomp clap thing and i made up goofy lyrics relating to the game. like it was cute but i wasnt expecting it at all, it was sort of surreal like the kind of thing that only happens on tv, but also i keep thinking about it bc i sort of had this nervousness during it like it needed to stop and i think thats a huge indicator of shame + fear of being cringe holding me back! i feel the same way any time i get too enthusiastic or try to dance in public and thats something i def gotta fight
#*also im still so glad/surprised that happened+worked out and people actually seemed to have fun!#i wasnt expecting anyone to agree to play and i was nervous the whole time people were bored/annoyed
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Ichiban looks like a beautiful lady ☺️
real and true
#snap chats#i love how i have a genre of asks where people tell me how beautiful ichiban is#like SOOOOO true im glad we all agree...... gets it from his papa 😷#anyway cheer for me ipicked up my son today <- i got my kirby figure from hot topic#HT is so evil they gave me an in-store-only coupon that i only really can use today...#i refuuuuse to i refuse to spend today. i wanna get metroid prime 2... and a new gamecube controller....#so i MUST save.... esp cause i lowkey also want metroid dread 😷#NO LISTEN I WANTED DREAD WHEN IT CAME OUT BUT I DIDNT HAVE MONEY#i still dont have any but yk thats what im saying....... the wishlist BUT ALSO THE PRIORITY LIST.....#why is money everything. priceless is SOOO right...#I WATCHED THE SECOND EP TODAY AND OUGH. SOOOO true show...... im loving it so far......#ok im rambling too much i want to eat my LUNCH because i got LUNCH with my BRO while we were OUT so BYE !!!!!!#anyway im crying why the fuck is ichiban behind me like we’re in front of this ice cream place#and suddenly i hear this dude yell WHAT !!!! and we all look at him and he’s all#‘is there a bigger cup of this because this is the best thing ive ever had- i hope you have a great night thank you so much !!!’ like YO???#how good is that ice cream... now im curious...#OK I SHOULD EAT i have mango lassi anyway... hehe... tastes EXACTLY like mango pudding hehe...#OK BYE FR THIS TIME
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1850s Tumblr Dashboard Simulator
👸🏻 girlbossladyjane Follow
It really makes me sick to see people giving money to penny weeklies when Franklin's expedition STILL has not been found 😭 There are good men out there trapped in unimaginable temperatures and literally all that's needed is a little more funding for another rescue mission yet all you guys seem to care about are your vulgar little stories...
🧔🏻♂️ queerqueg Follow
the franklin expedition is dead as hell
👸🏻 girlbossladyjane Follow
Disgraceful thing to say but I'd expect nothing more from a M*lville fan
10,558 notes
👨🏻❤️💋👨🏻 hartgrindisreal
Sorry for posting so much about Tom Gradgrind/James Harthouse from Hard Times lately. It turns out that I was getting arsenic poisoning from my wallpaper? Anyway I took a seaside stroll and I'm normal now. Check your walls y'all
#whyyy did i assume they were committing unlawful actions together like where did i even get that from lol #hard times isn't even that good by dickens standards tbh
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🎨 asherbrowndurand
Just painted this
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ss-arctic-girlie-deactivated18540927
RIP Napoleon... you may have been unable to conquer Alexander's Russia but you sure as hell conquered Alexander's bed
🖼️ preraphaelitebro Follow
HERITAGE POST
📝 shakespearesforehead Follow
How does this have less than 100k notes you could literally not avoid this post back in the 20s lol
82,170 notes
🌄 loyalromantic Follow
poets just aren't dying young in mysterious water-related incidents like they used to :/
#as useless and degenerative as i find 'the living poets' and i'm glad we're finally moving on from them #i have to agree with op in this respect
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🎀 thefopdiaries Follow
I finally got a daguerreotype of myself ^_^ Porcelain urn for scaling
📜 bartlebi-thescrivener
i think i hauve consumption
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🐋 whaler4life
They found oil in the ground??? WTF. THIS IS LITERALLY THE WORSTTTT. FUCK MY LIFE FOR REAL THIS TIME
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🌿 naturesnaturalist Follow
I swear this website has 0 reading comprehension skills. Darwin NEVER claimed we "evolved" from apes like if one of you guys actually bothered to open his new book you'll see all his arguments are backed up by evidence. He actually makes a lot of sense
#sure there's nuance like i don't fully agree with all of it #but his general theory of natural selection seems pretty sound imo
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🤵🏻♂️ byronicherotournament Follow
🙈 butchbronte Follow
Of course these are the finalists lmao this website is so predictable. Anyway vote Heathcliff if you dont i'm going to assume you're a phrenologist
📖 sapphichelenburns Follow
It's not problematic to acknowledge the fact that Heathcliff was a brute like he literally killed dogs in case you forgot. #rochestersweep
🙈 butchbronte Follow
I love the implication here that Rochester never did anything cruel either. He literally locked his wife in the attic and lied to Jane about it 😭 like that was a pretty significant thing that happened
📖 sapphichelenburns Follow
And? God forbid women do anything
#why'd you have to pit two bad bitches against each other #anyway i'm not attracted to men but still went with rochester #bc in terms of living quarters thornfield hall > wuthering heights easily
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👨🏻❤️💋👨🏻 hartgrindisreal
Not the Russian tsar dying immediately after hartgrind became canon
#i know dickens hasn't technically confirmed it yet but like. SOMETHING was strongly implied ok #see: my previous post #dickensposting
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👨🏻❤️💋👨🏻 hartgrindisreal
LORD HELP ME. THE BODY LANGUAGE. THE WAY THEY'RE LOOKING AT EACH OTHER. AHHHHHH
#this installment!!! im-- #dickensposting #i can't fucking cope #dickens wants to KILL us he wants us DEAD....
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⭐️ newamerican
Hi guys sorry I haven't been posting lately it's been so difficult getting to California 💀 I'm finally here now though just need to find a pickaxe and soon I'll be digging! :-) wish me luck lol
#gold #gold rush #gold rush grind #california #adventure
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I was on call for nearly 7 hours between streaming my samurai game, watching anime, and then just chatting some. Which was really great for getting my mind off things!!! Hung out with a good assortment of friends, which was pretty great.
Though. Now I'm alone again. Which I usually enjoy. But it also has me remembering why I was on such a long call to start with...
I have therapy tomorrow, and I don't know whether I should mention this. She's primarily my grief therapist, so it'd maybe feel weird to spring something else on her... but I don't know...
#speculation nation#just kinda remembering again how fickle it all was.#all the compliments... the 'i love you's... nearly 6 months of them...#dropped so suddenly for a days-long infatuation...#ultimately i guess it's for the best that this happened before i got Too deep into it.#unlike my ex from 2020. where i was literally living with him and genuinely contemplating eventual marriage.#the idea was floated vaguely of my recent ex and i living together next year if we were still together by then.#so if she's gonna be so shallow and selfish as to drop me just like that for a new 'love'...#going so far as to say she doesnt actually love me & every time she said it was just automatic impulse...#like. ouch.#adding in the fact that i admitted to her that i struggle with trust and abandonment issues#due to prior experiences with being dropped for being too difficult or having someone choose some1 else over me...#she promised that i was the only one she wanted to actually date... but then turned around out of nowhere and said she wanted to add one#but when i stood my ground and voiced my concern about her daying someone else given the obvious communication issues going on#(aka her standing me up without warning and ignoring me all day. which she said was bc she was too distracted by the person#she's in 'love' with. to the point where i just wasnt even a thought in her mind...)#(though i literally called her when she didnt show up to the time we agreed on. idk how she'd miss it. but oh well.)#anyways i was rightfully worried about it. and Thats when she ignored me again only to say she couldnt see us working out#bc there was no way of her feeling the same way with me that she does with Her...#frankly i think shes blinded by infatuation and is going to regret this later down the line.#throwing a good thing away for a passing fancy who's planning on moving away soon Anyways.#but. well. it's not my problem anymore is it? even if she begged for me back theres no way i would#after the absolute shitshow that's been the past day.#and it sucks bc i really did like her and spending time with her. but im glad it happened now. before i got too deep in it.#i'll give myself time to recover. focus on my interests again. and school.#and in a few months' time maybe i'll join the dating pool again. this time with a better idea of my wants and boundaries.#it really sucks to have 10 exes. it's kind of embarrassing. but with each one im learning more about myself.#in time maybe i'll find the person that's right for me. who wont drop me bc im too much of a hassle or bc someone else is better.#i have worth as a person. im not perfect but plenty of people do like me.#and i'll find the person who wants to stay with me for good. sometime. eventually.
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🥺oliver stark
#i really like my buddie fics when they include the qhole discovering urself course#and the whole finding your identity between a closely knit chosen family and its so#its shit ill never be able to experience (am ace and will never be out irl) and its makes me so happy just thinking abt it#that people write these things and allows people to feel the emotions theyre tryna give and its so so#*imaginw heart melting*#and oliver starks comments on the interview?#i love that hes a good actor i love that he loves acting i love that he loves his job and i#love he loves the character he plays#and has the cofidence in gis skills and his chemistry with his coworkers and his artform that hes willing bring up and explore#different possibilities#and it also sounds like hes been wanting to pursue this route for a long time and im going insane thinking abt how happy#hes got to be to be able to do it#he aounds happy that hes able to do it but also happy that he knows there are people who he agrees with#im just#im so happy for him and for me and the people that were hoping for this#it wouldve been perfectly fine to not do jt too bc the fanworks qould still be here the characters would atill be here#experienxing media doesnt have to stop with the original work because yiur experiences are a heavy influence on ur overall happiness w the w#ork#but im so glad they did it#i love that hes got the support of his friends and coworkers too#i love you oliver stark#i love the evan buckley that you show us and i love your vision
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i will always love you | max verstappen social media au
pairing: max verstappen x fem bodyguard reader
what he wasn’t supposed to fall in love with his bodyguard? this IS a rom com
MASTERLIST | TIP JAR
f1insider
liked by user1, user2 and 45.925 others
f1insider: red bull have confirmed that max verstappen will have a bodyguard for the rest of this season after increasingly aggressive fan activity towards drivers at races. what do you think about it?
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user3: i completely understand that it’s insane that it’s gotten to the point where he needs a bodyguard …. but like JEALOUS
user4: i pray there’s never any need for her to do her actual job
user5: f1 need to sort it out i agree
user4: i meant because i would be no better than a man im sorry god but i want to watch her fight someone 😫
user6: this should’ve been done so long ago but i’m glad they’ve finally made the step
user7: what i find crazy is that people can afford a paddock pass and wanna fight the drivers ??? what a waste of money GIVE THEM TO ME
user8: i’m being completely serious when i say … any punk ass influencer tries to film max in the bathroom i want this bodyguard to shoot them with a gun
user9: no i agree
user10: and when i do it on purpose so she can beat the shit out of me ??
user11: choke
user12: she look familiar to any of you?
user13: i thought i had seen her before but like i just can’t quite recall
user14: swiftie here! she was taylor’s bodyguard for a couple years so you probably have seen her in paparazzi photos or something
user15: taylor swift and now max verstappen i need her agent
user16: the thought of that massive hunk of a man cowering behind her is killing me
user17: it’s killing you? it’s getting me excited this is so romance book coded
user18: you people’s obsession with putting people in “relationship” is the worst thing to happen to the sport
user19: i agree! (they would be unbelievably cute)
user20: i’m glad to see we’re all being very serious about the state of the sport where a driver needs a bodyguard and not the fact that said bodyguard is visually appealing
user21: sky i will deal with your bias if you give us the visual on her
user20: jesus wept
yourusername
liked by maxverstappen1, landonorris and 120,399 others
tagged: maxverstappen1
yourusername: new job, same friendship bracelets
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user22: WE FOUND YOU
user23: hi mother !!!!
user24: we miss you serving face with taylor :(
maxverstappen1: you were a bodyguard for TAYLOR SWIFT ???
yourusername: you didn't read my CV? you had the last say on me being hired?
maxverstappen1: i let GP read them and he's never steered me wrong before
yourusername: that seems irresponsible
maxverstappen1: ANYWAY my point was going to be ... can we still get eras tour tickets?
yourusername: i can see what i can do
maxverstappen1: what if you just called taylor up?
yourusername: do NOT reference the kardashians if you want tickets
maxverstappen1: noted :3
user25: i can't have anything in this life ??? what do you mean you've worked with taylor and max?
user26: she looks so hot with a gun i'm starting to think the NRA are on to something
yourusername: absolutely not get out of here with that shit
user27: oh she educated as well? will you accept my hand in marriage?
maxverstappen1: 🤨
landonorris: and if i said you could guard me all night
yourusername: it's kinda my job to guard max all night
landonorris: but you'd rather guard me 😉
yourusername: i doubt you'd pay me as well as max
landonorris: i can pay you other ways 😉
maxverstappen1: lando i will break your fingers one by one
user28: max is out here like SHE IS MY BODYGUARD
user29: him being possessive... idk where to look but both of them - mark me scared AND horny
user30: TOO REAL
maxverstappen1
liked by schecoperez, fernandoalo_oficial and 1,452,099 others
tagged: yourusername
maxverstappen1: simply lovely to be back on the top step in brazil, @yourusername you're clearly my lucky charm
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user31: max does a generational drive and immediately gets on instagram to flirt with his bodyguard
user32: he's so real for that because look at y/n
user33: i once thought swifties were crazy for being so obsessed with her but now i am just as bad lol
yourusername: nuh uh that drive was all you big boy
maxverstappen1: heheheehehe
maxverstappen1: did i make a good first impression?
yourusername: a very good first impression ;)
maxverstappen1: are you proud of me?
yourusername: very proud maxy
maxverstappen1: :3 thank you <3
user34: what in praise kink did i just read?
user35: i know he's done it in a very public forum but just leave them to do whatever they gotta do
user36: i know this man saw her in a suit and with a gun and fell to his knees
yourusername: well... close enough!
landonorris: idc about all of that ^^ i'm still going to shoot my shot
yourusername: is me rejecting you luck or talent?
landonorris: HUH ?????
yourusername: i may just be a bodyguard but i still have working ears 👍
user37: okay so she does serve more than just looks ...
user38: she's got a fan in me now
charles_leclerc: let me just sit back and observe
yourusername: you good?
charles_leclerc: i am sitting back and observing
yourusername: you are observing very loudly
charles_leclerc: i am just watching max embarrass himself, this is very healing for my younger self
maxverstappen1: RUDE
yourusername: he's not embarrassing himself if it's working?
redbullracing
liked by maxverstappen1, schecoperez and 2,451,045 others
redbullracing: statement regarding today's incident.
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user42: sorry red bull but i want that video tattooed on my eye balls
user43: i am so unbelievably hot and bothered after seeing that video
user44: red bull i'm afraid you'll have to take that video out of my cold dead hands
landonorris: i didn't realise the paddock came with dinner and a show today
oscarpiastri: lando they tried to kill max...
landonorris: well he was never in any actual danger with y/n around
oscarpiastri: do you ever read the PR briefs?
landonorris: PR whats?
oscarpiastri: this is starting to make a whole lot of sense
user45: they'll try to cancel lando for this but like he's being real
user46: no because why was george russell and kimi antonelli literally in the back of the footage eating LITERAL POPCORN
user47: i've never wanted to be two people so bad
maxverstappen1: i lived bitch
yourusername: MAX????
maxverstappen1: because of you, i'm forever in debt to you <3
yourusername: just doing my job :)
maxverstappen1: so you didn't just do it because of your undying love for me :(
yourusername: i think that would be inappropriate
maxverstappen1: THAT'S NOT FAIR, THEY CAN'T TRY AND KILL ME AND YOU CAN'T SAY YOU HATE ME IN ONE DAY
yourusername: oh maxy, do you need a cup of tea
maxverstappen1: and a hug ????
yourusername: yes, even a hug
user48: oh to have max that pathetically down bad for you
maxverstappen1
liked by charles_leclerc, yourusername and 2,309,773 others
tagged: yourusername
maxverstappen1: can you people stop thirsting over my girlfriend please - i may not be able to fight but she can
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user49: HE HAD ENOUGH
user50: i mean i too think thirst comments from my literal friends would throw me over the edge
user51: he was like winning in brazil is not enough i gotta watch my gf beat the fuck out of someone and then publicly claim her
yourusername: you're puffing out your chest in the paddock when all the girls on the internet are thirsting over you - if anyone should be jealous it's me
maxverstappen1: but you're so much better than anyone else i am horrendously in love with you
yourusername: HORRENDOUSLY
maxverstappen1: i have never felt anything like this? im scared???
yourusername: no need to be scared baby i'm in for the long ride
yourusername: and i can and WILL protect you
maxverstappen1: i need to report a hostage situation? it's me in my bedroom - i need to be saved
yourusername: you're so cheesy, you're lucky i love you
user52: i have another hostage situation - it's me in this comment section
user53: watching them be in love is like torture to me i'm so lonely
user54: they need a trigger warning i fear
maxverstappen1: @landonorris @pierregasly @olliebearman suck on that
landonorris: LEAVE ME ALONE
pierregasly: don't hate the player hate the game
olliebearman: why did you say fuck me for ????
maxverstappen1: i've seen those looks ollie don't lie to me
yourusername: babe i think he might just be scared of me
olliebearman: WOMEN IN POSITIONS OF POWER SCARE ME I'M SO SORRY Y/N
yourusername: no worries ollie! max is just possessive
maxverstappen1: ugh duh! you're the best thing that has ever happened to me, obviously i want to keep you to myself
yourusername
liked by olliebearman, maxverstappen and 342,067 others
tagged: maxverstappen1
yourusername: and iiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii will always love you! sorry it had to be done - whitney houston is a LEGEND
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user56: of course she knows that song, she's basically living that story
user57: OF COURSE SHE KNOWS THAT SONG IT'S ONE OF THE MOST FAMOUS SONGS EVER ???
yourusername: and you can bet your ass the red bull garage have been singing it non stop since i arrived
redbullracing: singing is our passion
maxverstappen1: they'd have to kill me to keep me from you DEADASS (pun intended)
yourusername: and that won't be happening because i'll be there to protect you
maxverstappen1: i'm not opposed to watching you deal with a problem in the paddock
landonorris:WHY WAS I MADE THE BAD PERSON WHEN I SAID I WANTED TO WATCH ???
maxverstappen1: because it was my life that an attempt was made on ?
landonorris: and?
maxverstappen1: AND?
landonorris: it would've made winning the championship much easier ?
yourusername: nuh uh i would jump into that red bull and win out of spite
maxverstappen1: it's true, i've been training her up
landonorris: you gonna let me have anything
maxverstappen1: nope :P
yourusername: nope :P
user58: oh they're so annoying 😭
user59: true ride or die couples are so irritating
user60: i still wish i was them
danielricciardo: i get fired and you get a girlfriend ??? how is this fair
maxverstappen1: idk what you want me to say, i'd never give y/n up for anything
danielricciardo: not even a red bull maxiel reunion
maxverstappen1: sorry buddy, maxiel is dead
danielricciardo: EXCUSE ME?
yourusername: sorry daniel, there's a new sheriff in town - should've charmed max when you had a chance
maxverstappen1: try as he might, he'd never be you
yourusername: awwwww considering your massive teenage crush on him... i love you!
danielricciardo: so fuck me then?
fin.
note: TWO IN ONE WEEKEND WHAT?
#f1 x reader#f1 imagine#f1 x you#f1 instagram au#f1#f1 social media au#max verstappen imagine#max verstappen fluff#max verstappen x you#max verstappen x reader#max verstappen fanfic#max verstappen#max verstappen social media au
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current mood: njorthr in the midpoint trailer
#on a side note im really glad they made dorothy and saul (and murdock) the free ish units#bc theyre the ones im most interested in#tbh still not huge on the just. lore. idk of asc heroes. it seems like them being other people's wish fulfillment and thats :/#but hey whatever.#anyways i was happy to see him animated! insert fire emoji here#im really rooting for his character bc i feel like he has the potential to be really cool#just i dont rlly agree w the fans 100 percent on his motivation tbh#gameblogging#image tag
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#I can’t remember if I’ve talked about it publicly on here but spark notes version and then we’re going to move on because it is relevant to#the issue at hand: when I was a kid not only did my parents abuse me and my sister but they also abused animals and mostly it was just that#they were neglected and starved to death but there was also a lot of my dad kicking the animals and my mom throwing the ones that she could#pick up across the room in anger and sometimes they would hit things and like generally stuff like that and I always knew it was wrong#it always scared me right? but I didn’t understand how wrong at the time because I kind of just thought everyone’s parents must beat the#shit out of animals just like I kind of thought everyone’s parents abused them a little bit#and then when I became an adult and got away and lived with other people with pets I realized how much people care about their pets and like#to the extent that they will buy all this extra stuff for them just because and treat them to all kinds of shit like doggy daycare#and more than anything I was just confused and I still am pretty much because it wasn’t right but I was taught that animals don’t matter and#my example of how to treat them was more like objects than living beings and I don’t agree with that I know that’s not kind and I’ve read a#ton of books on the right way to treat animals because I don’t want to be like my parents so like I’m trying right? like I’m genuinely#trying to be better I promise you but here’s the part that’s really bothering me that I’m not sure I can tell people in real life because I#don’t think someone who didn’t grow up like me would understand? and like I’m glad most people didn’t grow up like me but im just talking to#myself here and maybe someone will see this that understands: I think there’s something broken in my brain#and I can’t feel that like thing everyone seems to have about their pets I’ve been talking to people all week about how it’s a trial run and#im not sure im going to keep her and everyone has been emphatically telling me that their lives are so much better because of their pets and#they tell me about all this hardship they’ve gone through to give their pets nice things and whatnot or to clean up after them when they#destroy their belongings but you know it’s SO WORTH IT and I feel like something is broken in me because I don’t feel that way about any#animal like I enjoy petting animals and I enjoy giving them love but and here’s a part I feel really bad about I would be just fine if this#cat wasn’t here I am just fine on my own and they seem like more effort than they’re worth kind of I mean she is causing hell and I am being#patient I am cleaning up after her diligently I am reading the articles on how to make her separation anxiety better I am trying to be a#good pet parent and I just don’t feel it like she’s a lovely cat she’s so sweet even if she’s a menace and a problem causer but I don’t feel#what everyone else seems to feel and I’m confused and hurt and I feel broken#I don’t understand what else I could do to be better
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INTERMEDIATE - LN
╭──╯ . . . . . the five times max tried to set his best friends up, and the one time it actually worked. . . . . . ╰──╮
PART TWO FOR ROOKIE (can be read as standalone)
warnings: none really, swearing, mentions of alcohol consumption and minor sickness
this was so highly requested hehe! im glad you all loved rookie :) lemme know what you think! ✧ my inbox is open ✧
masterlist the playlist
Ⅰ
max fewtrell had been plotting for weeks. the annual karting gala was fast approaching, and he had the perfect plan to set up his two best friends. max managed to get himself a date and orchestrated the perfect excuse for y/n to accompany lando as his date, knowing that he was invited but y/n, not being a karter, wasn't. since the trio were somewhat inseparable, it made sense.
and it had worked - the three of them headed to the gala together, max’s date meeting them there, the atmosphere buzzing with music, laughter, and the clinking of champagne glasses. the drinks flowed freely, and the dance floor was packed. lando and y/n however, in their boredom of black-tie events, decided to see who could drink the most. much to max’s dismay, the two of them could never back down from a challenge, and seemingly formed a crowd of people to see them take on this challenge - which resulted in the two of them finding new dance partners for the evening.
this wasn’t max’s plan - he needed them to dance together, not with other people.
but then, y/n had left the dance floor, stumbling over to lando whilst holding her dress up as to not trip over it.
“lando?" she said, her voice shaky, and her eyes widening as she looked up at him.
this is it. they're going to kiss max had thought to himself, watching from only a few metres a way.
but instead, y/n's expression changed to one of distress. "i think im going to be sick."
or not, max thought, quickly springing into action.
lando immediately took charge, his hand sliding around her waist and guiding her towards the nearest bathroom with max following close behind. they managed to get her to a stall just in time. lando held her hair back, his touch gentle and reassuring as she emptied her stomach.
"im so sorry," y/n mumbled, her voice weak and apologetic. "i’ve ruined the night."
lando shook his head, his tone soft and caring. "don't worry about it. it’s ok. you’re ok."
meanwhile, max was on the phone, trying to get hold of y/n’s mum. "hi, it's max. im with y/n - she’s ok, but she’s had a bit too much to drink. could you come pick her up?"
as they waited for her mum to arrive, lando stayed by her side, stroking her hair softly as he poured water into her mouth less than graciously. max watched them, frustrated his plan had failed, but his heart warming by the way lando cared for y/n.
Ⅱ
max was determined. the karting gala might not have gone as planned, but he saw another opportunity to set up his two best friends at a house party. he thought a good game of truth or dare would be the perfect catalyst.
the party was in full swing when the group gathered in the living room, max quickly suggested playing truth or dare to which everyone agreed. the game started with light-hearted questions and dares. when it was lando's turn, max seized his moment.
"i dare you to kiss the person next to you," max said with a smirk, confident in his plan since y/n was seated to one side of Lando.
lando, however, had other ideas. his head looked to y/n besides him for a moment and then at niran on his other side, as though he was weighing up his options. then, he turned and pressed a light kiss to niran's forehead, catching everyone off guard. max’s jaw dropped in disbelief, while the rest of the group burst into laughter.
"that doesn't count!" someone shouted, still laughing.
"max didn't specify where," lando retorted, grinning cheekily, holding his hands up in defence.
“lando! how could you not kiss me? im heartbroken," she teased, holding her chest dramatically, her eyes sparkling with amusement.
when the game finally ended, max excused himself to the kitchen, shaking his head at how his plan had backfired yet again. niran, sensing an opportunity for some fun, followed him into the kitchen.
"you know," he said, leaning against the counter, "next time, maybe we should play seven minutes in heaven?"
max looked up, intrigued but sceptical, "you think that'll work?"
"it's worth a shot. at least then lando can't dodge the dare by kissing my forehead," niran shrugged, a playful grin on his face.
in the living room, lando and y/n were chatting and laughing, completely oblivious to max and niran's conversation. and as the night wore on, max’s determination remained undeterred. their bond was undeniable and he would go to any lengths for his efforts to pay off.
Ⅲ
lando decided to host a game night at his house - max was convinced that without being the host, he couldn't plan any elaborate setups. the evening kicked off with enthusiasm, everyone excited for a night of fun and games, with lando eventually suggesting they play drunk twister.
"…and every time you lose, you drink," he explained with a mischievous grin.
the game started off well, with everyone mostly sober. lando was winning, especially since his strength helped him keep his body in place. however, as the drinks kept flowing, max saw his opportunity. once they were all sufficiently tipsy, he took over spinning the twister board, calling out positions for lando and y/n.
at one point, max managed to have y/n essentially straddling lando’s waist, her legs balancing precariously on either side of him. this is perfect, max thought with satisfaction. he then told lando to move his leg, and when it was y/n’s turn, her hand slipped. the sudden loss of balance caused lando's leg to jolt out, causing y/n to tumble fully, twisting her ankle and hitting her head on the coffee table.
"who put that table there?" lando groaned in frustration as he rushed to assess the source of blood streaming down her face.
"erm… that would be you?" max snorted, trying to suppress his laughter but quickly becoming serious about y/n’s condition, deciding that hospital was probably the best call of action.
“lando, you should call her mum. i had to do it last time,” he whispered, as y/n slept next to them, the painkillers they had given her had wiped her out completely.
lando groaned as he dialled the number. it was 2am, so he wasn’t surprised when he got her voicemail.
"hi y/m/n, it’s lando - just letting you know y/n is in the hospital, but she’s fine. probably,” he added before hanging up.
“probably?” y/n called out groggily, still waking up, “she’s gonna worry more now you idiot.”
“im so sorry for hurting you," he said hurriedly, grabbing her hand and gently stroking his thumb along her skin.
"it’s ok, lan - i promise. as you said, im fine," y/n insisted with a small smile, "just remember to move the table next time."
“next time?”
“it was fun until i…you know,” she trailed off, using her free hand to gesture to her body laying in the hospital bed.
max watched the exchange with a resigned smile. despite his failed attempts and the chaos that ensued, it was clear how much lando cared for her. maybe, just maybe, things would eventually fall into place naturally.
Ⅳ
with an upcoming quadrant project, max found himself with the responsibility of finding accommodation for the team. he found a cosy airbnb and meticulously assigned the rooms, ensuring that everyone had their own space, other than y/n and lando - though neither of them minded. they’d been friends for so long that sharing a bed didn’t seem like a big issue.
when the team arrived at the airbnb, they were greeted by the chilly winter air, before max led them through the house, pointing out their rooms. to his surprise, and annoyance, lando and y/n’s room actually had two single beds, not the anticipated double bed.
nevertheless, max was determined to see his plan through, quietly turned off the heating, hoping the cold would drive lando and y/n to share a bed for warmth. the evening progressed, with everyone started commenting on how cold the house was.
“i am freezing my tits off,” y/n announced as she walked into the room, throwing herself down on the sofa next to lando.
"if it gets too cold tonight, we can always cuddle up together,” lando said, nudging y/n with a grin.
finally, max thought to himself, a plan was finally working.
“as much as i want to have you snoring directly in my face all night, and trust me i do - my dad taught me a bit about plumbing when i was younger. let me see if i can fix the heating,” she announced, to which the group felt elated to hear, fearing they would freeze to death in their sleep.
max’s heart sank as he watched y/n head to the heating system, fiddling with it for a few minutes before triumphantly declaring, "got it! it doesn’t seem like it was broken, just turned off. maybe the airbnb hosts turn it off between guests to save money?"
“guess we won’t get to spoon tonight after all,” she added, looking at lando with fake sadness.
max had never hated her competent parents more than he did at this very moment.
later that night, as the group gathered in the living room, warmed by the now functional heating, lando and y/n were nestled on the couch, wrapped in a blanket together as they usually did.
lando leaned over to y/n, his mouth settling near her ear as he whispered, "watching max sabotage his own plans is funny - we should do this more often.”
y/n giggled, adding, "maybe next time we can teach him how to actually break the heating."
“it's my favourite sport, right after driving,” lando added, laughing softly before sitting up again.
max was beginning to realise that his plans weren’t working because he was trying to make them fall in love with each other. they were already in love, he just needed to make them talk about it.
Ⅴ
determined to help them confront their emotions, he devised a master plan. so, when he moved into his new house, he invited them over to help build furniture.
as they assembled pieces in one of the rooms, y/n soon realised she needed a specific sized screwdriver but she couldn’t find it anywhere.
“well it hasn’t just grown legs has it?” lando teased, though helping her lift boxes to see if it had fallen beneath them.
"it might be downstairs. ill go have a look," he said, casually closing the door behind him. he knew it was downstairs - he had intentionally left it downstairs after loosening the screws on the door.
the moment the door shut, the handle fell out, leaving y/n and lando trapped inside - max was convinced that forcing them into close proximity would make them talk about their feelings.
“shit, sorry guys - bare with me whilst i try and fix it!” he called out, smiling to himself thinking about how great his plan was and how it couldn’t possibly go wrong.
however, he had forgotten one crucial detail - y/n was scared of being locked in small confined spaces. they had discovered this fact following a unfortunate attempt at seven minutes in heaven.
the reality of their situation set in, and y/n began to panic - her chest tightening as her breathing became fast and heavy.
"hey, it's okay. we're not stuck forever. we'll get out of here," he said softly, opening a window to let in some fresh air and sitting beside her. his arm wrapped around her instinctively, pulling her into his side as his hand found her hip, drawing patterns into her jeans with his fingers in attempt to ground her.
both of them were angry at max, knowing exactly what he was trying to do. they had somewhat discussed being together before, but lando’s busy career made things complicated. and now, he had gone too far, forgetting y/n’s anxiety in a bid to get his own plan to work.
"deep breaths," Lando murmured, holding her hand and gently stroking her back. "that’s it. max didn’t mean any harm. he just wants to see us happy."
y/n nodded, her breathing slowing as she leaned into lando, his hand coming up to wipe the tears from her cheeks.
“i know. i just hate being trapped, and i know he means well but i wish he’d just chill out," she breathed out, her voice still wobbly as she tried to regulate her emotions.
they both sat quietly for a moment, looking at each other deeply, her anxiety dissipating, unspoken feelings lingering in the air. lando’s head moved closer to hers first, tentatively pressing his lips to hers. he wasn’t surprised when she kissed him back, her hands moving to his shoulders to lift herself up slightly as he deepened the kiss, his tongue swiping her lower lip gently.
"almost got it!" max called out quickly from behind the door, interrupting the two.
lando and y/n quickly pulled apart, managing to compose themselves just as max opened the door and rushed in.
"im so sorry y/n. i really didn't mean t- i don’t even know ho-,” he stuttered, moving down to hug her quickly.
y/n forced a smile, her heart still racing.
"it's okay, max. i’m fine, i promise,” she reassured him, her arms moving to hug him back.
♧
it wasn’t rare for lando, max and y/n to constantly be in each others houses. any free time they had at least two of them were together, and it had been the same for the entire time they had known each other. that week, they had all taken residence at max’s house to finish the final touches to the new quadrant video before posting it.
the early morning sun was shining through the kitchen windows as y/n rummaged through the cabinets, looking for a mug for her morning tea. noticing her struggle, lando walked over to stand behind her, his chest brushing against her back as he stretched to reach the mug from the top shelf.
"here you go, short-arse," he said, handing it to her with a smile, before moving across the counter to flick the kettle on.
"thanks," y/n replied, ignoring his nicknaming, "want some breakfast?"
"depends what you’re making," lando said, his eyes twinkling, “i would love some pancakes right now.”
“tough shit - im making cereal,” she responded bluntly, smiling sarcastically at him, before moving to grab the box of cornflakes from the cupboard.
“from scratch? that’s impress- OW,” he yelped, feeling the box of cereal hit him in the face.
“can we not use my cereal as a weapon please?” max announced as he walked into the room, rubbing the grogginess from his eyes.
“sorry dad,” y/n replied jokingly, sticking her tongue out at lando when max moved to open the fridge. she turned to start making breakfast, but in her movement she ended up knocking a spoon off the counter.
“fuck,” she muttered as she bent down to pick it up, lando watching on before quickly placing his hand on the corner of the counter, preventing her from hitting her head on the way up.
"careful," he murmured softly, as her forehead made contact with his hand.
later in the day, lando found himself sat on the sofa, scrolling through the comments on quadrants new video, where he had taught y/n how to kart.
y/n walked in, sighing deeply as she plopped down on the sofa next to him, her head finding a comfortable spot on his lap. lando didn't miss a beat - instinctively he began to stroke her hair, his fingers moving gently through the strands.
"you okay?" he asked, his voice filled with genuine concern.
y/n closed her eyes, leaning into his touch. "just tired," she whispered.
max walked into the room soon after, though stopping in his tracks as he saw the two of them. he shook his head with a bemused smile.
“you wanna read the comments?” lando asked as max took a seat on the chair opposite them.
the two of them nodded in unison, y/n shuffling around to sit up as lando’s arm rested on the back of the sofa behind her. they sat quietly, reading through the comments as max scrolled through them on his own phone.
they were accustomed to reading feedback from fans, but this time, something caught them off guard. the comments were filled with remarks about how good lando and y/n would be as a couple and how fans couldn't believe they weren't already together.
lando glanced at y/n, both of them slightly amused - they were sort of used to this, but every comment seemed to mention it.
"are you seeing these comments?" lando asked, raising an eyebrow.
“i know! i can't believe how many people want us to be together."
“you know, they're not wrong. we would be great together,” he replied, entirely unfazed.
"absolutely. it makes sense i guess," she nodded in agreement, shrugging casually.
“well that’s established then,” lando stated before moving the conversation, “should we get pizza?”
“up to you,” y/n responded with a smile, before resting back into the sofa, lando’s arm thrown over her shoulders.
max sat still, watching the whole interaction in utter bewilderment.
"what have i just witnessed?” he started, eyes darting between the two quickly, “seventeen years of seeing you two interact, and you just casually decided you're together and then sorted out what you're having for dinner?"
"yeah, pretty much,” y/n laughs, leaning into lando’s side as she shoots a grin at max, who’s jaw just dropped in disbelief.
"are you serious right now?" he continued. lando leaned back, crossing his arms with a confident grin.
"it's not like we’ve not kissed before," lando added, still grinning.
"YOU'VE KISSED?" max shouted, his eyes widening further.
y/n and lando exchanged a knowing look, both bursting into laughter at max's reaction, their casual approach to this new development was seemingly more surprising than the news itself.
“we probably would’ve gone further if you hadn’t fixed that door,” y/n added, still laughing as max smiled to himself.
“you’re plan finally worked mate,” lando laughed out, watching max’s face contort into shock.
“my pla-? when did you work it out?”
“sometime between you turning off the heating and the time you pretended to be sick so we had to go to dinner just the two of us.”
“yeah the table for two and the candles was a big giveaway.”
“i need to lay in a cold dark room please - excuse me,” max said finally, picking his jaw up from the floor before walking out in complete silence.
#lando norris#lando norris x reader#lando norris smut#lando x reader#lando smut#lando norris imagine#lando norris fanfic#formula 1#mclaren f1#mclaren#lando norris fluff#propertyofwicked
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