#I've seen her paired with the twins too like why not? let her live lmao

[trahoalai]

zodiac war lgbt hcs and ship opinions but only for the characters I like

the twins:

I don't give a fawkkkkk about these two their back to back episodes were so hard to get through 🧎🧎🧎 I don't ship them I don't ship anyone with them

rip though they would have loved bullying little kids on roblox

the rat:

he's like fifteen, hates the warriors for being evil and his classmates for being happy. orientation aside he's too cynical to wanna date ppl. he'd have a burner account to stalk couples on social media and pray on their downfall. but no group chat to talk shit with 💔💔💔

the tiger:

tbh her and ox feel kinda forced.....I like it when it's one-sided lol

she's the type to like. casually toss out the phrase "my girlfriend/girlfriends" and ur like ?????? pls be gay pls be gay 🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏

once I saw ship art of her and boar like omg :0 thats so real I just feel like they would be so fun together. it's easier to get under boar's skin. like bother ox all u want he's not gonna respond to it

the sheep:

he's got a wife and kids and grandkids idfk man leave him alone

the monkey:

luv her :D I wish she werent depicted as motherly all the time just bc she's nice and cares for the rat and can bake. like her line of work is sm more important to her than a domestic life with her white bread boyfriend!!!!!!!

she's bi, I think I've read like one fanfic of her and rabbit that was pretty endearing. other than that I have been a boar and monkey truther literally since I was eleven reading the first chapter of the manga btw plssss don't let ur eleven year old kid read/watch this

the dog:

I hate this motherfucker Im sorrryyyyy I'll get to the characters I like in a second. I was pretty shocked to find out I'm like his only hater though, then again the fanbase consists of like four ppl lmao

he's like the embodiment of those wolf drawings where they're riding motorbikes and tearing off shirts. "side effects may include death, death, and horrifically violent death 😈" ← grown ass man

the chicken:

her and dog are a stretch for me 😬 their "pact" was so tense like they were both just playing nice while waiting for an opportunity to exploit and betray each other. they're more like.........annoying siblings that are always at each other's throats 👍 and I feel like she uses she/they

she reminds me of charlotte and lime from witch's heart. n those two are so gay. I thought chicken's death and devotion to monkey who she had just met was pretty sad. n gay

this diva:

everytime I see like a maneater, boycrazy type girl character I assume it's bc she's in denial about her attraction to women. ik she would be pissedddd if she caught feelings for monkey or tiger

there was this one fic with her and horse too which I thought made a lot of sense like it's more obvious with him but they both kinda have low self esteem and push their feelings aside to achieve what they want. boar doesn't have much of an identity outside of seeking validation from her parents and romantic partners. and I have many thoughts about why horse is Like That ☝️🤓 they see each other 🫂🫂🫂🫂🫂

the ox:

ppl that ship boar and ox, tbh I see the vision. they would make a good power couple

I don't like the ox that much -_- I see his appeal but it's not for me. too mysterious. even after reading the light novel I feel like I can't follow his line of thinking, he feels so removed from the rest of the characters. they hype him up soooo much and he's just like 🗡️🧍‍♂️

he's like everybody's wife I've seen him shipped with so many ppl

m y man my man my mannnnnnnn 💖💞🥰💗💕💓💓:

srry had a little moment of weakness there ✌️ anyways. what if this horse was transgender :0 the alienation (never stated but we can all see how awkward he is around ppl right) the shitty teenage years and how he doesn't "ever want to feel that way again" and then in the novel his body after all his procedures and bs training is seen as a point of pride. I could have sworn there was something about how he was like. almost religiously devoted??

tumblr keeps not saving the rest they don't want me to speak my truth </3 see his whole thing was about how he lost one fight and that can never happen again.....why. boar and chicken have some pretty rigid expectations for themselves bc of their upbringings. but the horse is willingly putting himself through this and for what lmao

doesn't make him a better fighter 😃 he acknowledges that ox is the best but never tries to emulate him. maybe bc ox is seen as a natural 🤨 and yeah I do think he has a lil crush. unreciprocated bc it's ox

he doesn't care about what others think so where did his desire to be like this come from. I feel like he's building himself with rlly skewed ideas of how to be a man. "men are not weak" "men do not lose" "men don't show feelings or vulnerability" does any of this make sense

lucky it doesn't work :> or unlucky ig rip king we (I) miss u everyday 🕊️

ox and horse is an okay ship it makes a lot of sense. personally I'm rooting for horse to overcome his fears and successfully beat ox up

the rabbit:

I like him and boar :> the first battle was pretty good I feel like its overlooked bc ppl forget. idk the way she was humoring him and sized him up, they play off each other pretty well. some of the ship content feels ooc though </3 these are two incredibly violent characters

even without the outfit, rabbit is so gnc idk I thought I would have more to say about that but he just is

[cowgurrrl]

I've been rotting away in bed all weekend recovering from a cold and I made the mistake of rereading some parts of OFTM and I miss them so much 😭 how's our favorite famous duo doing? I can't stop thinking about reader having to defend/support joel for whatever reason, but it's with the vibe of this meme LMAO like that is HER man, how dare people say anything about him

J!!! I love this request!! Thank you for sending it in and I’m sorry it took so long 🩷

Girls on Film

Pairing: rockstar!joel x actress!reader

Summary: this ask

Warnings: unedited because you can’t make me, discussions of toxic behavior, language, Joel being a dilf, June once again not knowing how to properly end a fic, I think that’s it??

Joel is protective of his kids. Sometimes, a little too much, in your opinion but you didn’t marry him because he does things half-way. With each new addition to the family, his papa bear instincts grew and grew. And if you’re being completely honest, his protectiveness and love for his kids is part of the reason why you ended up with five kids to begin with.

When he was giving his interview to People during his Sexiest Man Alive shoot, he was asked what accomplishment of his he’s most proud of. Without missing a beat, he said, “my family.” He went into what little detail you use to talk about the kids in a public setting, even getting a little misty-eyed in the process. The second the crew was out of your house, you nearly jumped his bones right then and there. You found out you were pregnant with the girls about two months later.

So, yeah, he’s a great dad, and it’s super hot. Whatever. It’s universally known within your family that there’s almost nothing he wouldn’t do for his kids. He just loves them with everything he has and wants them to live full and happy lives. Which is fine until he bears his claws in public.

Following a particularly problematic documentary with some of today’s biggest stars, Joel was more than ready to say what had been on his mind when an interviewer stopped him on a red carpet and asked, “are there any people in the music industry you wouldn’t let your daughters date?” The daughters in question were never specified but it’s either between his married thirty-one year old, his lesbian (also married) twenty-eight year old, or his three year old twins. He wasn’t comfortable thinking about any option.

“My kids are free to date anyone they want, but we have a strict no assholes policy in our house.” He said and the interviewer raised her eyebrows. “Like I wouldn’t let ‘em date any of those idiots from that documentary.”

“Why do you say that?” The interviewer asked and Joel shrugged.

“My kids deserve better than some fucker in black eyeliner claimin’ to save rock ‘n roll when all he’s doing is being a sexist pig who makes shitty music.” By the time his words reached your ears, it was too late to stop him. The clip from the interview was making the rounds before you can even get home.

Paul, his poor, poor manager of several years, reaches out to him the next morning to ask if he wants to make a statement, amends, anything to smooth this over. Joel curtly responds to his long email with a short, “no,” and that ends the conversation. What’s even worse if you can’t even argue with him. He’s right. You’ve seen first hand how people in the music industry treat each other and it’s awful. Why should he be the one who gets shit on because he spotlighted other people’s behavior?

You are able to dodge questions, paparazzi, and others wanting to know the inside scoop for weeks until you feel yourself getting just as frustrated as Joel was. Leave it to the press to want the wife to offer explanation for her husband’s actions. It isn’t until you get an offer from Watch What Happens Live with Andy Cohen that you agree to even think about saying anything.

That night, Joel stays home with the kids and watches you walk out on stage with Carolina in a long bell bottoms, platform wedges, and your (Joel’s) favorite vintage band shirt. You and Carolina hug Andy and get some initial questions answered but it doesn’t take long before the subject turns to Joel.

“Now, I know everything’s been very hush, hush but Joel started a lot of discourse online about the music industry. What can you tell us about what he said?” He asks and you nod, smiling and playing with your wedding ring.

“That’s been like the question of the month, hasn’t it?” You joke to break the ice. “Look, I think we all saw the same documentary. We all heard what those men said and to act like we didn’t is, honestly, kind of ridiculous. Joel knows the industry better than I do and he knows that nothing is going to change unless you call out the people making it miserable for younger kids.”

“So, you agree with what he said?”

“One hundred percent. He was right that we have a no assholes policy for our kids but, other than that, we really don’t have rules about their dating lives,” you say. “And I think he was right to call out those guys. It’s not fair that they get protected by their little boys club and that just has to be the way things go. I think it’s bullshit.”

“You seem to feel passionately about this.” Andy says and you nod.

“Well, it’s not just because people are coming after my husband. It’s because we’ve both seen what any toxic environment can do to people which is why he owns his own label now.”

“And it’s doing very well. He just signed one of the biggest breakout stars of the year, didn’t he?”

“He did. And you know why it’s doing so well?” You ask, leaning in like you’re about to tell him a secret. “Because he doesn’t sign assholes. He doesn’t put his name next to theirs. He doesn’t even want to be associated with them because for as much as it’s his name, it’s also my name and our kids’ names. So, people can say whatever they want about what Joel said but I will support him and his mission and when his artists start winning Grammy’s and spots in the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame, we won’t even remember the names of the people who got fifteen minutes of fame and a shitty sound bite to show for themselves.” You say and somewhere in California, Joel nearly jumps out of his seat with excitement, praising you like you’re there with him.

The second you walk off stage, your phone lights up with Joel’s contact photo and you laugh as you answer it. “Will you marry me?” He asks before you can even say hello.

“I’m assuming you saw the show.”

“Saw it? Baby, I recorded it,” he says. “When are you comin’ home?”

“Tomorrow. You’re supposed to pick me up, remember?” You ask and he groans.

“You ain’t allowed to be that sexy on TV across the country.”

“Keep it your pants, cowboy. I’ll be home soon.”

“Yes, ma’am.” He sighs dejectedly like a ten-year-old.

When you get back to California the next day, the discourse has been put to rest and Joel is almost giddy when he watches you come down the escalator. The flowers in his hand get crushed when you hug him tight and let him kiss you like he hasn’t seen you in years. “Where are my children?” You ask when he finally pulls away and he smirks.

“With Ryan. The kids wanted to have a play date.”

“So, the house is empty?”

“And clean.”

“Joel Miller, will you marry me?” You echo his question from earlier and he laughs.

Then, like a perfect gentleman, he takes your suitcase, opens doors for you, and drive you home to properly fuck the shit out of you. (Author’s note: I want to put <3 right here so mf bad but I won’t because I’m a professional. PS old man rockstar!joel fucks severely. PPS it’s canon because I say so)