#I've had a rough few days so I appreciate it anon!

[soaps-mohawk]

I'm going to be honest

I'm having a genuinely hard time making this post. I've been fighting with it for a couple weeks now, but I think it's time I finally make it.

I'm not having fun on this blog anymore.

It sounds bad, but honestly, it kind of is.

I think a lot of it started from the very beginning with the precedence and expectations I put on myself. I've always tried to respond to every comment I get. Even from the beginning. It's just a polite thing to do since those who leave comments took the time to write out what they think of my fic, even if it's just a keysmash. I've always felt the need to thank those who leave comments or reblog my writing or (now that tumblr has it) replied to my fics. It worked fine before because none of my fics were particularly popular. Even my most popular fic (at that time) didn't get as much attention as CRCB has. I've never had a "big blog" before, nor a fic as popular as CRCB has gotten.

It was fine at first, responding to everyone, engaging with everyone. I was riding that high of omg so many people are reading and enjoying my fic! I've never had anything quite like this before.

Now...it just feels more like a chore. I set this precedence on this blog that I respond to everyone and I know a lot of people have said that they're surprised I responded to them and to everyone, and now I'm getting why a lot of writers don't. I'm exhausted. I feel like I've just been robotically saying the same thing over and over trying to respond to people now. I used to love seeing asks in my inbox and reblogs and replies but now? All I feel is dread because I have to respond to all of those.

Turning anon off was a big help. It lessened the sheer volume of asks I was getting a day. And while I do feel bad for all of my anons who prefer to stay anons, with everything that happened (the multiple incidents) with anon that kind of started to suck the joy out of everything. That paired with the obsessive need to constantly have my inbox cleared and make sure everyone gets a response...I can understand now too why big blogs will have 200+ asks in their inbox. It's hard and it's exhausting and I'm burning out.

First it was the fic that was burning me out. Things have gone on far longer than I planned and I just wasn't prepared for this fic to go on and for a while there it was dragging. I'll admit that. If I could go back, I'd speed up a few things, but it's done, it's posted there's no going back. I kind of hoped I would have the mental capacity to upload more than once a week too, but I just couldn't. I still can't.

I've come to dread posting chapters because I know I'm going to have to reply and respond to everyone. The only thing keeping me posting is the fact that we're in the part of the story I've been excited about since the beginning and also because I keep leaving everyone on cliffhangers and I love torturing y'all with all of them.

So that being said, this is in no way to shame anyone for interacting with me, anyone leaving comments or replies or sending asks. Don't feel bad about doing it please. I appreciate all of you that have engaged with me and it really means so much to me. Honestly, earlier this year, if I didn't have this fic and everyone on this blog, I might not have made it to now. It's been a really rough year and it's still going to be into next year. It's just getting to the point where I need a break.

I've needed a break for a long time. I thought taking days off the blog would help, and it did for a couple of weeks, but now even on the days I'm supposed to be on the blog and engaging, I just find myself queueing stuff up and just being offline most of the day still.

I'm tired. That's the best reason I can give. I'm tired and burned out on life and I'm tired and burned out on this blog.

So...I think I need a break. I need to not keep responding to every single reply and reblog every chapter. I need to not force myself to answer every ask right away, no matter how much I want to. I feel bad, but I know everyone would rather have me here and enjoying the blog than forcing myself to interact to the point where I'm dreading it and just robotically repeating myself over and over with every reply and answer and comment.

I won't be pausing the fic, I won't be not uploading. I'll still be posting chapters, I just might not be interacting as much as I have been. It's just putting such a mental strain on me still, even with anon off, even with days off. And with things getting busier for me, it's going to be too much to try and deal with irl stuff and write and try to be super active on the blog. There's going to come a point where I have to sacrifice the writing or the blog and I'd rather sacrifice the blog to keep myself sane, and also to keep trying to finally get this fic done. I love this fic, don't get me wrong, but I'm just burning out.

I'm already burned out in a lot of ways.

I was planning kinktober this year but honestly I'm considering not doing it because I know interaction is going to be insane and it's going to be a lot to keep up on. Plus trying to write that many fics is hard and I'm not sure I have the ability to do it. I have a few done but now I'm just like...is that something I want to do on top of irl stuff and CRCB.

There's just no joy in it anymore. It's not anyone's fault but mine. I put the pressure on myself, I held myself to that standard for this long despite the fact I knew it was draining me. I've tried to push through when I should have prioritized myself. I feel so guilty not responding to everyone. I feel so guilty being a day or two late responding to everyone.

I want to be here and interacting and responding to things but I just can't bring myself to anymore. It's no one's fault, and this is not a drag on anyone, or an attempt to make anyone feel bad or guilty for interacting or sending asks or anything. I'm just airing out the truth and saying what I need to say because I feel like I've been so robotic and lifeless with my responses these last couple weeks and I feel like I need to explain why. It's nothing anyone has done. It's my fault. It's 100% my fault.

Things have just gotten to be too much and it's my fault for forcing myself to be so active. The social battery has dropped into the negatives. I'm not a social person. I can only handle so much interaction and I've pushed so far beyond that, that things have gotten to this point. I want to be here and I want to have fun and I want to use this as an escape but I just don't feel that way about it anymore. It's a chore for me, a job, something I feel like I have to do and it's my fault that I feel that way. It's my own standards and expectations I set on myself, and my expectations on what I think my followers want and deserve and now I feel like I've gone on too long like this that I can't change things without hurting anyone's feelings. I don't want people to think I'm ignoring them in favor of others because I know there's writers out there that do that. They only respond to a certain group and ignore others that comment and reblog. I don't want to make anyone feel like I'm doing that to them and that's now led me to here.

I'm forcing it and I'm tired.

It's been hard these last few weeks. The life has just been draining and draining continuously. The joy and the love I have for this blog and my followers and the interactions and the fic. The last anon bullshit that happened was just kind of the last nail in the coffin so to speak. The straw that broke the camel's back. Things stopped being fun. It made me feel bad (and not in the guilty way, though that was a part of it) and I'm honestly just over it. I'm over the blog, I'm over interacting, I'm over life at this point. August is a hard month for me and every year it seems to get worse and worse. A lot of it is unrelated to anything online and I was going to make a post about it but honestly I just don't want to. Those that know, know. Those that don't...it doesn't matter.

I'm getting annoyed by the blog, I'm getting annoyed every time I look in my notifications and see an ask or a reply or a comment. I'm getting annoyed by some of my followers and that's not fair to you. Everyone always talks about how nice and kind and patient I am when I'm really not. I'm not the person I present myself to be on this blog, the way I mask myself so I can present myself as being a normal, kind human being. The mask is coming off because I'm so tired I can't keep it up anymore. It's happening here and it's happening in real life. I'm tired and I'm frustrated and I'm angry at a lot of things and the last thing I want is to start taking it out on my followers. You don't deserve that, especially when it's not your fault, it's nothing any of you have done. It's all me.

It's not you, it's me.

So for the sake of not burning this whole thing to the ground, I'm going to take a break. I'm not replying to everyone, I'm not responding to every reblog, I won't reply to every ask I get right away, if at all because sometimes I just don't have anything to say in response and I need to learn that's okay. It's nothing against you. It's not aimed at anyone specifically, I'm just trying to put myself first and stop things from escalating. I need a break and I'm going to do something selfish and I'm going to take it.

Don't apologize because it's not your fault. Don't apologize because you think you might have contributed to this because you didn't. It is no one's fault but my own.

I'm the one that needs to apologize to all of you because I've just not been myself because I've been forcing myself to be someone I'm not. I've been very unfair to a lot of people over the last seven months that this blog has been active and I've held a precedent that is not sustainable in the long run and made everyone believe that I was capable of maintaining that kind of interaction when I'm not.

I'm sorry. I'm sorry I've been putting everyone through this. I'm sorry I've been so detached and robotic and ingenuine. I'm sorry I led everyone to believe I'm someone I'm not. I'm sorry I've dragged this on this long that it's gotten to the point that I have to make this post.

I considered just disappearing but that wouldn't be fair to you either. I don't want to put you through that, so I'm pouring all of my thoughts out and making you read through this fucking novel of a post. If you've made it this far, then congrats I guess. Gold metals to you who bothered reading this far.

Anyway, all of that aside, I'll still be posting chapters. I'll have them scheduled and I'll probably come on and add links places to keep things current. I'll respond and reply and answer asks when I feel like it. You don't have to stop sending them, but just don't expect them to be responded to right away anymore. I'll probably still be here reblogging things I want and doing things when I feel like it.

I just need a few weeks to myself. Time I don't have to care about the blog at all and keeping up with it. Anon will remain off for the sake of keeping asshole trolls away, and also so I don't open tumblr and have 200 asks in my inbox after a week. Sorry to my anons but it's just the way it needs to be right now. Maybe once this break is over and I've dealt with irl stuff, I'll consider putting it back on. I just can't after everything I dealt with recently on anon.

It'll be the same on Ao3, for those that follow here and read there. Comments will probably sit for a while. They won't be answered right away anymore unless I get the energy to burn through them. Even then I won't try to answer them all at once like I did this last weekend.

I'll try to reblog something every day so y'all know I'm alright. I don't want y'all to panic and it's not fair to put you through that, especially those that might not see this or bother reading it. Those that follow simply for the fic and nothing else. I'm here, I'm just not...here.

This week's chapter is in the queue to be posted tomorrow as usual. Chapters will still come out as planned since I'm not stopping writing, just taking a break from the blog itself.

Thank you those of you who stuck through to the end here. I appreciate all of you so much. You have no idea. I'm sorry I let things get to this point and I'm sorry to anyone that I've gotten rude or snappy with because I couldn't be selfish and put myself first. I'm sorry to anyone that got a robotic, repeated response to something they were probably excited to share. I'm sorry I've been so unfair to everyone and I hope you can forgive me.

Take care and I'll talk to everyone when I have the energy to.

[bbyquokka]

Hi this is my first time requesting to you so hello! (I’ll send a non-anon ask to you so you can see my profile and age💜)

I was thinking about cockwarming with Hyunjin and it being pure comfort and fluff. I notice in fics that cockwarming always leads to sex but I just want to experience it as is.

Just Hyunjin and the reader being very close with each other cuddling in bed after the she has a bad day at university. He seems like the romantic type who would cherish these types of intimate and vulnerable moments where they can feel safe together. He’d even give her his jiniret plush just to make her smile

warmth

FLUFF/SUGGESTIVE THEMES BELOW CUT – MINORS, AGELESS & DEFAULT BLOGS; DNI

warning: fem bodied reader, uni au, established relationship, pet names, cock warming, reader feels insecure, fluff and comfort, semi proof read. words: 0.7k ~ (724)

dont repost. dont translate. feedback and reblogs are highly advised and appreciated!

“hey darling. how did–oof!” hyunjin groans before laughing softly as you straddle his lap, forehead resting on his shoulder. he wraps his arms around your tired body gently, stroking your back. “rough lecture?”

“yeah.” you mumble against the material of his t-shirt. “i swear this professor hates me.”

“i doubt that darling.” hyunjin laughs softly.

“want cuddles.”

“here or?” you lift your head up and pout, eyes flickering below his waist. “ahhh, ok darling.”

hyunjin picks you up gently and walks to the shared bedroom. he gently places you down on the bed to strip, watching you do the same before getting under the duvet.

hyunjin slides in behind you, lips pressing gently kisses along the back of your neck. his fingers trailing along your sides, feather like touches that drive you insane.

“hyun..” you whimper impatiently. “please.”

“ok ok darling.” he laughs softly before slowly pushing his penis inside you. you both let out soft whimpers and groans, the feeling of being filled and stretched providing you with a strange sense of comfort.

his length is fully inserted, touching untouched territory. your warmth slowly drives hyunjin insane due to the fact that he is addicted to your warmth and how you feel. he presses his chest against your back to provide you with some skin on skin, arm snaking around your midriff and thumb stroking your stomach.

“better?” he softly whispers. you hum softly, giggling as hyunjin kisses your earlobe.

“stopp! that tickles!” you whine. hyunjin carries on for a few seconds before kissing your neck gently.

your walls flutter around hyunjin's length which makes him silently groan. he so badly wants to move but he knows you're not in the mood for sex of any kind. your energy screams 'hold me. i've had a shit day.'

“you're so pretty, you know that right?” hyunjin hums softly. you blush a soft pink, nuzzling into the pillow to hide the embarrassment.

“shh.”

“never. i will keep telling you that you're beautiful and pretty and gorgeous and–”

“ok ok! i–i get it.” you whine. hyunjin laughs before pecking your rose coloured cheeks gently.

“you'll be ok yn. i promise you.”

“will i? i'm starting to doubt that uni is for me..”

“why baby?”

“because everyone around me is so fucking smart and i'm just there. i'm surrounded by all this talent and smartness that it's suffocating but i also feel insufficient. maybe i'm not cut out for uni...” your voice cracks and wobbles. hyunjin furrows his brows before repositioning and reinserting himself so you're facing him.

“my darling.” he cups your cheeks gently, wiping away a few stray tears. “we all have our strengths and weaknesses. you shouldn't compare yourself to others which i know is hard to do when you feel insecure and low but, someone might feel the same way about you.”

“what do you mean?” you whisper.

“well, someone else might be comparing themselves to you. what you think is a weakness about yourself could be what they find strong about you.”

“really?”

“it's possible darling. you shouldn't compare yourself to others. which is hard, i know but you shine in other aspects of life to. you are smart and talented but being smart and talented doesn't necessarily mean what you think it means.”

“no?” you look up at him as he strokes your hair gently.

“you can be smart and talented in many other ways that don't involve solving equations and making art pieces so don't bring yourself down my love. you could hold a piece of knowledge that someone else doesn't know and they could find you smart. just because you struggle in one area doesn't make you any less of a person.”

“hyun...” you sniffle, leaning into his touch. “thank you.”

“anytime darling. do you feel better?” he traces your jawline slowly with the tip of his finger before leaning down.

“much better.” you mumble before pressing your lips against hyunjin's plump ones. the kiss is slow and passionate. his cock still nestled deep inside you, walls fluttering around his length and providing hyunjin with such warmth and comfort.

“i'll always be here for you darling. morning, noon and night and if i'm not here, you have this.” hyunjin hands you his jiniret plush to which you hold close to your chest. “i love you, yn. so so much.”

note: i do love a lil bit of cockwarming with some added fluff !! ty for sending this in, i enjoy writing cockwarming. should really write more of it tbh. don’t forget to leave feedback, reblog and tell me what you think here. i hope you all enjoy! ‹3

tags (open): @sstarryoong ; @unh0ly-dr3am3r ; @septicrebel ; @alyszaen ; @writerracha ; @hyunluvxo ; @aestheticsluut ; @xcookiemonsteer ; @telesvng ; @oshimee

[icypantherwrites]

hi hello I normally do asks anonymously but I wanted you to personally know

I found you a couple days ago i believe and oh my god. Are you like, an angel?? Dude. You’ve written over 200 works, nearly 90% of them being in the vld fandom. I feel like no one gives you enough credit for your contributions to fanfic, especially in the vld fandom. I can’t even begin to think of 20 ideas for a fanfic. You’ve had probably over thousands. You are genuinely one of the most talented writers I’ve ever come across. I love how you write angst and pain. It’s done so in a way that can hurt you so deeply yet leave you wanting for more. Just perfectly encapsulated what it is like to read angst because you did it. in a way that clearly shows you understood the assignment. I love how you write yearning and internal turmoil. I love how you write rising tension and build up anticipation. It leaves me on the edge of my seat every time and I get so excited every time something super important happens. I love how you write each of the characters’ relationships with one another. It can literally feel so personal to see them interact. my favs of yours are probably keith and shiro <and> lance and hunk. You are such a great writer and I don’t think you get enough recognition or appreciation because oh my god. Every time I read your works it is just masterpiece after masterpiece. And the way you end them?? You know just how to make an ending to a story so satisfactory. Because you write the beginning to be satisfactory. You write the middle to be satisfactory. You write every single chapter, paragraph, sentence, and word to make sure that the story concludes in a way that leaves you feeling content. I am genuinely always baffled at how godly your writing is. How you never get any credit where it is clearly due is completely insane. You have done wonders in this world, even if it just seems like a little corner of it. You were here. And you did good for so many. You are so amazing and I don’t know how many ways I could possibly tell that to you. If you ever were to write an original work I would make sure to personally buy ten thousand copies all on my own. Because I know damn well that if you wrote it, it is going to be one of the best pieces of literature ever written. You are so. So. So so so so so so so so soooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo amazing. And awesome. And cool. And great.

So much love.

You are incredible.

🩷🩷

So I would like to preface this response by noting that I've had regular asks closed for the last few months due to just a lot of negative feelings with the entitlement behind the asks, and anonymous asks closed for the last year due to various reasons but the most common one being trolls and hate mail. Following a recent livestream on my Patreon I kind of said screw it, let's just see how it goes again and opened them and so the fact that this absolute sweetheart gem of an ask is the first thing I get not even two days later is just... wow, thank you. I've only read this like ten times now.

I just wanted to say this comment makes me feel very seen and appreciated and all of the kind words are backed up by the fact I do indeed recognize your name (so I am glad you didn't submit this as anon!) as having popped into a number of my stories over the past week or so and leaving such sweet comments. It truly means a lot. And as an aside, I am very excited to see you (hopefully) back for the final chapters of Missing as (ironically) a lot of the audience went missing the last few ;p So I do hope you enjoy it and would love to hear your thoughts there! As you observed, it's definitely a bit of a rough go to put all this time and effort into writing and sharing my works and not really seeing a lot of folks engaging with the stories any more, but I'm still trying my best to post for as long as I can. And readers like yourself are the reason I do try to continue to do so 🧡

I also just wanted to highlight of this entire highlight of a comment the little bit you mentioned about how I end stories. Thank you. I strive really hard to not just 'finish' a story but to wrap up every tangent and every little loose thread into a pretty bow so nothing ever feels unfinished and it's not always an easy thing to do. But I've read plenty of stories where it just ends and it's like, but wait, it was so abrupt, it feels incomplete, and I don't ever want anyone to feel that way reading my stories.

I have unfortunately given up my dream of writing my own original novel as I've lost a lot of faith in my abilities due to the continual decrease of engagement and just feeling like nothing I ever write will be good enough, but thank you so much for the encouragement and the kind words. I don't think it'll ever happen, but if it does I'll for sure post a link to purchase my novel on Tumblr ;p

I could gush about all the little, beautiful details you wrote in this for hours but I will cut myself off here. But thank you, truly, for such a sweet message and kind words and I do hope to continue to see you in the comment sections of my stories for the little bits of sunshine you bring into my life🧡

[ingravinoveritas]

Hello there! I hope you are doing well (as well as someone who has completed watching season 2) First of all congrats on moving into a new house! I'm still having lots of Feelings™ to process after finishing the second season.. oh god the acting, the genuine emotions on the faces of both Michael and David this time around... I'm simultaneously radiating happiness and being utterly destroyed. And the increasing intimacy between them in the interviews is not helping matters either... I think (this has been marinating in my head for a while) one of the reasons they are doing this is to physically reassure each other that they are not apart, they are still a team and still on their side, because after the heart wrenching ending of the season, it would have been very hard for them to come to terms with it, as they had put their whole beings, their whole souls into playing Azi and Crowley, which might have made it difficult to draw a line where the characters ended and they begin... So the touches, their body language became a sort of coping mechanism, something which said 'hey, don't worry, I'm still here.. I have not gone away, we're still together' and this makes me wanna cry again 😭

I hope my word vomit makes an iota of sense (English is not my first language by a long shot, so) and I hope you do find some time to rest and have a warm beverage of your choice while unwinding. Stay safe and blessed!!

Hi there! Thank you so much for the congrats on my move, I truly appreciate it. I've actually had a very rough couple of days, as on top of the move, my Facebook account was hacked earlier this week, and it essentially pushed me over the edge and I was crying for much of Monday and felt like I had a crying "hangover" all day Tuesday.

You do not at all have to apologize for your Ask--your English is very good!--and I'm glad to read your thoughts as I make my way through all the Anons still residing in my inbox. Truly, we are fortunate to have GO 2 and Michael and David to focus on, as well as the abundance of interviews we've gotten after months and months of little to no content.

To start: I absolutely agree with you, re: the intimacy between Michael and David in these interviews. It's been so fascinating to see them get more flirty and touchy-feely with each progressive interview (I know we don't know the order in which they were done, but I imagine the flirting/touching increased as the day went on). And while I can definitely see them doing what you described--reassuring each other, touching and being close as a coping mechanism--my feeling is they already did all that last year, probably right after filming That Scene. (There is actually a gorgeous MS/DT fic on AO3 right now that depicts exactly that, and it's definitely worth reading.)

But in terms of all the intimacy and touching in the more recent interviews (from last month), I think what we're seeing is something else. I think Michael and David are beyond the need for reassurance because they are so comfortable with each other and know they're still together, permanently. There's no more of the uncertainty of parting ways after the promo interviews end--only the promise of seeing each other again as soon as both their lives and schedules allow it.

There have been so many moments of telling body language and touches and expressions, but if I had to pick a favorite (well, a few), one would be them walking arm-in-arm onto The One Show:

And the other would be David leaning so far over and draping his arm around Michael in the Amazon Q&A video:

...And of course (and possibly most notable), Michael and David seemingly unconsciously moving closer to each other in the TV Insider interview:

It's so telling that there is no urgency or desperateness to any of this--only comfort and very much that sense of "on our side" that you mentioned. Walking out arm-in-arm as they did in particular adds to that "us against the world" feeling and the not-so-subtle implication that while they were Michael Sheen and David Tennant on the season one press tour, here, now, they are Michael and David. Inseparable, always intertwined, and having so much more of themselves in the characters of Aziraphale and Crowley than in the first season.

So yes, everything you wrote absolutely did make sense, and I appreciate you writing in to share your thoughts with me. I have a lot more thoughts/analysis about GO season 2 still to share, which I hope to do in response to the numerous Anons still waiting in my inbox. Thanks for writing in! x

[transfaguette]

I was gonna say "I hope you have a nice day", just as... you know, a little nice anon ask... use the feature how it ought to be used, but it's pretty obvious that's not where things are so I'll commiserate instead

That whole bank thing is just sick. I got a credit union, so they try and start charging fees if I don't make transactions for too long, but man yours is so much worse. That's just vile. It literally ought to be illegal. It's your money, what give anyone the right to take it just cause you aren't using it a certain way?

Also I'm real sorry about the chronic pain. I've had a few friends over the years who've had chronic pain (and maybe I do too... I can't really tell, cause... it's just how my body feels, how much pain is it? ...I don't know)

Everything they ever dealt with, from doctors, to never quite managed pain even at the best of times... it's a rough deal

I hope you have a lot of low pain days in your future, that your flare ups are minimal and infrequent

The world's a mess, we live in a broken system which makes it hard to live. So things are rough right now just cause they're legit hard, not cause of any failing on your end

I mean look at the society we've created, where people with no money have to pay large sums of money, to get access to programs to help deal with the fact they don't have any money

People like you and me... we'll do what we can to try and make it a bit better... there's probably not a lot in our power, but we do what we can... it's just a hard time to be alive, and it's probably always been a hard time to be alive, but for me at least... all you can do is try and make it less hard for the other people... try to make a dent so many some day it won't be a hard time to be alive

Anyway sorry about the weird, long ask. Like I said... I just... I wanted to say something nice to you, just a little nice message, but... it would have felt tone deaf seeing the things you've got going on

So instead I decided on weird but candid

I do hope you have a good day soon. Some way, some how, I hope things go good for you

...in the meantime though, that sucks, you're dealing with bullshit and you shouldn't have to be. I hope what can get better gets better soon, and I hope what can't drops to minimal levels

Regardless, take care

this is such a lovely ask, thank you <3 I wouldn’t have thought it was tone deaf to just wish me a nice day, but I really appreciate the thoughtfulness here. it did make my day better :)

[nancydrewwouldnever]

It's infuriating isn't it?? The conversations on here and on lsa that I only check once a month (I've been having a very rough month cause I had the state examinations to keep working as a HS teacher in my country and my stress levels have been skyrocketing, I failed the first exam but I think I passed the last one 😭) have focused on how it must be super serious super real the family does like her ... For me -i of course only watched the fan dragging part- the most awful part because of the entitlement it showed was when Scott was like they call me brother-in-law they should come up with something more original... Like maybe someone should write now to him maybe your middle-aged bro should star in a lolita reboot playing Humbert Humbert tho we all know Adrian Lyne would've never hired him... I wonder if that's 'original' enough. Scott is still a literal nobody in HW saying stupid stuff about his brother's fans, that he used to love and bait on his cameo vids if memory serves me well. Honestly the strike comes just in time so they keep their mouths shut. He said the media wasn't negative, the media their PR firms pay lol, and also the general public while there was a jezebel article questioning how much of a cliche Chris has become and tons of people have called him a creep without knowing half of the story (insta). I mean they're prob the same people who laughed their arses off when the gene Kelly thing was announced because they know Chris can't pull that. I'm baffled at the levels of snobbery while they're giving jersey shore, trailer park white trash teas. And for the people who say Alba isn't racist because it's her friends, erm, there's still her very questionable filmography (what she does isn't pedo baiting -that, to my knowledge, it's when adult people pose online as minors to attract criminals -, it's 'pedo catering'), and if those roles were the only ones she was getting maybe she should've stopped acting. It's not like the world is sleeping on a Meryl Streep with her. Very sorry for my long rant, feel free to reply or not and many thanks for being anti EIAA because the days after that stupid wedding were truly annoying. Very sorry for the terrible hate and bullying you got from beyond ignorant anons. Stay strong, you're very appreciated,🤗

Damn, girl, you said all this with your whole chest! Hope your exams went okay.

I think these next few months are going to be very quiet, given his deactivation and lack of new projects, so I think his PR team is going to jump at anything to keep his name circulating. We may be in for a couple of months of total stupidity when it comes to the articles that get pushed out.

[laurfilijames]

*bare with me because I'm doing this on my laptop and I have not figured out how to use emojis on here:(*

It took everything in me not to go off when I first saw that ask. Laur gave you grace because you might not have had bad intentions but I honestly do not care because most of what you said did not have to be in that ask.

"Will needs better-coping mechanisms than putting his dick in her..." I'm not going to argue with your opinion, however, I think some of you have forgotten the "fiction" part of fan fiction. It is literally fiction, its only purpose is to bring the creator's imagination to life. Y'all have to stop going into everything as if it's supposed to be real and relatable to you. Yes, there are going to be relatable elements that resonate with you and those moments are amazing, * you should cherish them by mentioning them to the writer in a reblog :' *, but that doesn't mean they're supposed to think or act the way you would. So, please remember this the next time you're reading a fic :)

"yeah it's great but communication is better." I'm excited to tell you how wrong this is (pertaining to Will and the reader's relationship ofc) because I've gushed about it to Laurie in a reblog! Will is a man of few words and throughout most of the parts what you see as regular sex scenes is actually Will communicating with the reader! It's unique to them. It's easier for them to understand what the other is thinking or how they are feeling through physical touch! We see their conversation through their pace when they are feeling rough and fast or soft and low. I haven't gotten to pt. 9 but almost always Laurie still gives us an insight into how they communicate with words! I could talk about this for hours but that isn't the point of this ask :)

Now with all of that being said, the first half of your ask was irrelevant and could have been kept to yourself or a friend if it bothered you that badly lol. You could have sent an ask saying, "I never want Breathe to end!" or "How many more chapters of Breathe are we going to get because I never want it to end?!?" and she would have loved that, but instead you decided to be an asshole :( #dobetter

Now my dear Laurie *que emoji* I am so proud of you and everything you've accomplished with not only "Breathe" but also the other stories you've so graciously shared with us!! despite this bad apple the rest of us know and appreciate how hard you work and all of the thought, care, and passion you put into your creations! You handled that anon like a true girl boss, but I don't like when people shit on my home girls so of course I had to put in my two cents :) Anywaysss I hope you have a great day girlie pop!!

Oh my dear Ray 🥹💗 you are so wise and kind and eloquent with your words.

I don't need anyone going to bat for me but please know I appreciate it all the same. I could've responded very differently to that anon but it wouldn't have done anyone any good.

I am over the moon that you continue to recognize all of the things I subtly weave into my series. You hit the nail on the head again with pointing out that the main type of communication and love language between Will and Reader is physical touch. I always strive to come up with a healthy mix of spice and emotion in my smut scenes and I am on my knees thanking you for clearly seeing that time and time again 🫂💗

This situation has only made me realize how incredibly lucky I am to have such amazing supporters and friends and am feeling emotional (in a good way!!) that you and so many others appreciate what I do here with my smutty silliness 🥹💗

(Cue all the emojis!)

[shxtodxroki]

hello, i just wanted to check up on you since you haven’t posted in so long. I hope you’re okay and that you’re “just” stressed or not in the mood for writing. Please don’t feel pressured or anything by this, simply worrying a little.

Anyway have a nice day!

Aaa oh my goodness, I wish I had seen this sooner because this is such a sweet message, I'm so sorry I took so long to respond. Honestly I didn't think many people would notice my absence much so I didn't expect to see an ask like this at all, and it means a lot to know that someone wanted to check in. I hope you know that I was not intentionally ignoring you anon, this message means so much to me and if I had seen it sooner I would have responded as soon as I could. This past summer has just been a whirlwind (some good, some bad) and I've found myself in a cycle of burn-out that I'm really trying to break out of.

To answer your question, life has been hectic, but I am doing alright :> There have been some rough times but also some fun times over the past few months, and right now I'd honestly say I'm doing pretty okay :> (More under the cut in case anyone is interested but please don't feel obligated at all! It's more of just a mini-rant for my personal sake lol) But I am doing well, thank you so so much for taking the time to check in. This was incredibly kind and honestly it means a lot just to know that someone noticed I wasn't posting and decided to reach out :] Thanks for making my day, anon, you're an incredibly kind soul. <3

Most of the business has been because my mom has been through a hospital/rehabilitation process this whole summer, and since something very similar happened to my dad 2 years ago and I'm an adult now, a lot has fallen on me (not medical-decision wise but a lot of other things) in terms of teaching my other family members how to handle brain injuries and what's best for her since my sister and I have the past experience that no one else does AND the knowledge of her past health stuff. She's okay thankfully and improving steadily, it's just been hectic and the feeling of deja vu from going through this before has also been hitting me hard. I also have an old dog who's given us a few scares recently and is probably close to the end, and since I've never lost a pet before that's been hitting me kind of hard as well.

On top of some of the heavier stuff my school has just been a pain with getting me registered for classes, removing classes I had signed up for and not giving me times for others, and it's been a whole mess that I've been focused on sorting out. But I've had good times too, I've been able to see friends this summer and giving myself some "me time" between everything where I have a bit of a break. So I'm doing alright, and things are hopefully going to even out a bit soon, and I appreciate the consideration and care :>

[balkanradfem]

Hello, this is the linden honey anon from almost a year ago, I hope you are doing well, your blog is a joy. I've been following your blog for a few years now, it brings comfort to me, maybe because I see some similarity in how I grew up (I'm eastern European, and I grew up close to nature, always appreciating and noticing it) and how I view the world of course, I'm happy there's women who think like me and live how I wish I could. I like to read your posts at work or after work, as my work feels so meaningless to me (just customer service or various warehouse jobs - jobs driven by consumerism and capitalism, and also I absolutely do not fit any standards - I act typically "masculine", don't emote much, don't wear makeup (physically cannot due to my skin irritability even if I wanted to), and I'm generally described as intimidating .... Most of these traits are off-putting in interviews ). I hope I can soon be closer to nature in some way, and I hope I can soon start making a living from my art, but I feel like it won't resonate with most people (I've been writing several comic stories, but all the characters are women and they do not act or look like the ....industry standard let's say, and the stories are specifically from a female perspective, as well as female romance and friendship and such). It something I've had in the works for a while.

I'm about a decade younger than you and all I have are big hopes and dreams to live somehow... Free. I've been dealt a rough hand by life, so I have no support, and have to rely on myself entirely, and I often worry if I'm just naive. But the women before me have dreamed to have even just legal possibility to do what they want - I cannot disappoint them by defeating myself in my own mind by doubt.

Also, it is spring soon, I am so excited! Maybe a time for changes... And I should get more linden honey, I have ran out.

I think I should perhaps make a blog one day, too...

tumblr let you send this without you even having a blog???

I'd love to see your art! I think if it's resonating with you, it's probably going to resonate with a lot of women, we all have a lot more in common than we have differences :)

I'm sorry your job and surroundings are making you feel othered and alien, I think once you reach higher age it will become easier to find people exactly like you, who are interested in the same things and you fit together with. You are in the most difficult phase and it's a lot to get out of that.

I'm excited for spring too! I hope your honey turns out good :)

[mischievouslittlecreature]

Hello! I hope you're having a lovely day/night! 😊 Just had to pop in to show some love for your writing. I stumbled upon your fic, Love Me Where I'm Most Ruined, a lil while back and I'm obsessed??? I flew through it so quickly, I just couldn't stop reading! I apologize for not leaving comments as I went, it's like I was in a trance, just had to keep reading 😭😂😂 I'm also somewhat new-ish to the fandom and interacting kinda gives me anxiety, but I'm working on it lol. I'm gonna do a re read sometime soon and I'll let you know my thoughts, gonna spam you with love probably, your story certainly deserves all the love. 🥰❤️❤️ I also see that you've recently rewritten/edited some parts? As if I needed another excuse to re read this whole fic 🤭 Truly, one of my absolute favorite fics I've read. I love the story you've built and I adore your characters so much. I'm in love with Lucy, for real. Obsessed with her. I also haven't read many fics (if any) that are pro Grace. I think that can be a bit controversial in the peaky fandom?(sadly) But holy shit!! I LOVE how you wrote her whole storyline. You broke my heart tho, but I still loved it! 😂 I didn't intend this ask to be so long, please forgive my rambling! You posted your latest chapter on my birthday and girl. Birthdays aren't always the easiest for me and this one was kinda rough. Honestly, reading your fic was kinda the highlight of my day. An unexpected delight! A little gift you didn't even know you were giving me! I literally squealed in excitement lol! Anyways, I just wanted to say thank you for sharing your stories. Your writing is so, so beautiful and I can't believe your fic doesn't have more notes. Honestly, it's criminal! I'm seeing it pop up on my dash again and I just had to show you some love!! 🥰❤️❤️ Also, it's still Valentine's Day where I am, so I felt all the love was a little fitting. ❤️ I hope this novel of an ask finds you well. ���❤️

-🦋

Oh my goodness, anon, thank you so, so much! Seriously, my heart is practically bursting right now I just wanna reach through the screen and give you biggest hug! 🥰

It means SO MUCH to me that you've loved Lucy and my fic so much 😭 I have quite a few OCs, but Lucy in particular is very near and dear to my heart, so to hear that you love her so much just makes me so happy.

I would LOVE to hear your thoughts if you do a reread! I don't like to pressure people too much to comment because I understand it can be nerve-wracking, but I promise I am literally the least intimidating person in the world and will be absolutely thrilled to hear what you think!

I did recently do a bit of a rewrite/edit, specifically of Red Right Hand. Nothing too crazy, but I did add a few more scenes with Grace and a few more smut scenes.

Grace is certainly a controversial figure in the fandom. I understand why people dislike her, and I never want to make people feel like they have to like her to read or even enjoy my fics, but at the same time I have a soft spot for her, and my vision for the series always included Grace and polyamory elements, despite it still being primarily Tommy x Lucy focused. I was quite nervous including the poly aspects of the story, and I know it turned a lot of people off to my fics, so I really appreciate your support for that particular part of the story! 🖤

And Happy Birthday! I'm so glad to hear that my fic made your day a little brighter! And Happy Valentine's Day as well! This really is the best gift anyone could have given me today!

I'm so sorry that it's been taking me longer to get updates out! I recently started an internship in January that's taking up more of my time, plus just dealing with a general lack of motivation lately. But I am hoping now that I'm more settled into my internship that I will have more time to write and will be able to get onto a more consistent posting schedule. I have SO MANY things planned for Lucy and Tommy and I hope that you enjoy them!

Again, thank you so, so much for this ask, 🦋! You've absolutely made my day! I am sending all of my love your way! 🖤🖤🖤

[soaps-mohawk]

Thank you for wishing well with my migraine, I'm okay! I've had them for over a decade, I'm okay now aside from slurred speech. I'm chronically ill so I'm good at coping, I actually tend to have the softest ideas when I'm in a flare 🥲

I saw your post about followers and I am very happy for you and you definitely deserve it! You're talented and funny and approach everyone with kindness and it's so refreshing and fun to be on your blog. You deserve the love in return for all of it. I'm sorry that it's been a rough go of things for you recently but we all appreciate your work and your humor and your presence. 💕

I'll be back shortly to share more cat photos as a lil treat since he made you happy last time... and simultaneously reveal who I am off of anon lmao

-🐰

Omg that's awful 😭 I've had many migraines over the years. Summer 2018 I had them almost every day for like three months (but my brain scan was normal 🤪). Don't get them as often anymore but god they suck when they do hit. You have some wonderful ideas, though I wish you weren't in pain 😭

Thank you so much 🥹 I'm so honored that so many of you think so highly of me. I'm just a simple person out here trying to be kind because the world is not. Life is hard enough, the least people could do is be nice to each other 🤷‍♀️ don't know why that's so hard for some people. (I do but you do not want to get me started on that)

I love pet photos. Seriously. They make me so happy. I just love animals so much 🥹 don't worry, I guarantee I'll forget your username by the end of the day when you do send them 😂 I often don't pay that much attention to people's blog names when answering asks I just kind of see everyone as an anon 😂 I'm pretty sure I've referred to some people off anon as anon before lmao. (Except for a few people that I'm mutuals with or people that are consistently in my notes who send stuff off anon)

[zedif-y]

saw youre going through a rough time, sending love. i always enjoy seeing your posts and your writing is incredible. care about you <3

thank you<33 i had to keep this in my inbox for a few days just to appreciate it, this was very kind of you to send. i'm doing better now that i've got a lot of stuff off my plate + break, so! hopefully i'll be basically fully recovered soon :] again, thank you anon

[compassionatereminders]

Hello Kat!

First, thank you for what you're doing here. Your blog has helped me a lot in the past and I'm genuinely grateful for what you're doing here, even if I'm just one anon in the mass of all the messages you receive!

Then, I think I need an opinion and I figured I could ask!

For context, I'm a very anxious person. I've never had a diagnosis for it, but my therapist is pretty convinced I have social anxiety at the very least and probably a generalized anxiety disorder. Long story short, she's not a psychiatrist so she can't diagnose me here, but yeah I'm pretty sure she's right.

I've been taking meds for my anxiety every once in a while when it gets too difficult to manage on my own (btw I asked for advice on that back when I started a few years ago, and you and some people following this blog had been a great help with that, so thanks again!)

I'm not sure if I want to start taking the meds more regularly (unlike now, when I only take them when I feel especially anxious). I'm struggling with an imposter syndrome here, I'm feeling like I don't really need them that much and so I shouldn't take them often. Like I'm not struggling enough. And I actually don't think I really want to take them more regularly, but I don't know if that's because of some internalized ableism and the fear of accepting that I need them, or if I simply don't want to. It would definitely be easier to deal with everything with those meds to help me, but it feels like I'm not at a point where I actually need to rely on them, so I can't bring myself to take them regularly.

My partner has been insisting that I take them as if that'd solve everything, but it feels icky to me. I don't like seeing those pills as a magical solution, but he might be right? I know he wants to help, but it feels sometimes like my own opinion doesn't matter. Like he's doing that simply because it's less trouble for him if I'm easier to deal with thanks to the pills, no matter how I actually feel about that. Especially since at times, he makes me feel like I can't trust myself with my mental health, which is making me doubt my own judgement a lot.

It feels like he might be correct about the meds and I should accept that they will make things easier for me and take them, but I can't shake off the idea that it's cheating and that I don't need them all the time. And thus, I shouldn't take them regularly. Other people around me are pretty judgemental and worried when it comes to treatments like that and it scares me a bit. I don't know what to do.

Maybe I should go get an actual diagnosis and discuss that with a psychiatrist or even just with my therapist? Or should I try the meds more regularly, just to see how it feels? I don't really want to, but it's been rough lately and it could maybe help. I'm a bit lost! If you have any input, it'd be greatly appreciated. But anyway, I hope you have a good day!

Which medication are we talking about here? Because if it's a benzo, then I do not encourage you to start taking it regularly, considering the question of addiction, tolerance and dependency. Not because I don't think you have anxiety, but because that particular group of anti anxiety medication is notorious for being dangerous when used frequently long term.

[bidokja]

hey.. i just binge-read villain initiation after seeing your post about it ending the other day, and i just have to wonder why you would want to inflict such pain on your followers. It so good!!!!!! I swear to god it somehow made me tear up more than orv did (i had to stop many times while reading the last few chapters because my eyes were so blurry i couldnt appreciate the art (which is phenominal!!!!! I spent so long reading because i was just entranced by the lines and the shading and the poses and everything)). Its just so,,,,,, idk, but the characters! The themes! The parallels! The internal conflict!!! Its all so good!!! anyways, thank you for ruining my life by reccommending such a beautiful story, i hope youre having a wonderful day! :D -sorry about pseudo anonness, i just am super nervous lmao. Also sorry for any typos its about 2am while im writing this because i need to get my thoughts down after finishing such a great series

OMGGG IM SO GLAD YOU ENJOYED IT (and i hope u ahd a nice day as well!)!!! im so glad i get to rec this hidden gem to more people its SO genuinely amazing. i know the rough translation of the first few chapters and certain pacing points can make things hard to follow (certain chapters jumping around a lil too much is probably the one (1) critique i have of villinit) but i just!!! ilove villinit so much. i love the story. i love the characters. i love what they all have done and did do and will do for each other. and as you said the art is just STUNNING genuinely some of the nicest art and paneling i've ever seen in a web comic (much less a long-strip format one!). all the little outfits. all the character designs. all the emotions conveyed. the strength and painful clarity of the parallels and foils....honestly this one is villinits strongsuit imo. i just! i love villain initialization!

villinit is so genuinely GOOD like its a story about...so much. it about how isolated wrongs committed against each other are also larger wrongs committed against us all. it's about how this isn't an excuse for perpetuation. it's about desperately holding on. it's about throwing it all away. giving yourself the chance to change. recognizing the ability to do so within yourself. recognizing the ability in others. just what is guilt? what is blame? what is responsibility? what do these look like when you can turn back time? what do these look like when you actually can't? what does it all mean for us, individually? what does it all mean for us, when it comes to each other?

[emmashouldbewriting]

Dear Emma,

How long does it take for a publisher to decide if they want to pass on a ms or make an offer? The publisher has previously passed but sent a long letter suggesting a different approach (from memoir to prescriptive/narrative non fiction). I revised sample chapters, and my agent contacted the editor to see if they’re interested. They were, but in the meantime, they had acquired a “somewhat similar” book. It’s been three weeks, and my agent hasn’t heard anything. The publisher is a small, rather new imprint, and I am heartsick that I took too long to revise. Any insight will be appreciated.

It really depends on the individual publisher, in all honesty. I've had responses in two weeks then some not for three months, lol (after a certain point my agent doesn't even forward them on). I would say 6-8 weeks is probably about "average," and they're always slower over the summer in my experience.

That said, I'd expect a quicker response from a revision they knew was coming in. Given that they have a 'somewhat similar' book it could be that they're trying to figure out how similar they are from a marketing perspective before making a decision.

The question is what are you hoping to achieve? Do you want to shop this around? Is self-publishing an option for you?

If you're happy with the new direction you've taken the revision in and want to go on submission again, I would wait until four weeks have passed (so another few days) and then have your agent contact the editor and say, "Hi there! Just checking in on ABCD by XYZ - the rewrite was an exclusive submission to you and this is a courtesy email to let you know we will be sending it to other editors on X date (one week from email)."

That usually gets you a response. It might not be one you like, but a rejection is better than not knowing because you can move on and take your next step. Good luck anon, it's rough out here and it's easy to get discouraged, but remember that someone out there needs your book. ❤️

[devildom-moss]

Grr, i forbid you to overwork yourself while you're sick. I dont allow it. And im pretty sure :purple_heart: Anon wouldn't either.

You're just forcing your body to do shit it can't do, and sooner or later, you'll go into burnout, and that stuff dont feel good.

Take that hiatus, and take it now. Im very sure your followers can understand. And if they dont, they're bad people and dont deserve you.

But i do hope you're better now, and if you aren't, get better soon!!!

Thank you so much. This is really sweet.

Good news: I have recovered from the cold I had.

I know burnout is rough. I think I've gone through it a few times. Still, I can't quite relax while there's stuff sitting in my inbox, which is why I'd like to put off the hiatus for a while. All things considered, I figure I can't make it too much worse by waiting a bit longer. And I feel a bit more relaxed after getting one more request out of the way.

I did have to take a small break for a few days... If not really being able to get out of bed counts as a break? Okay maybe that sounds bad, but as cocky as it sounds, I think I have it under control at the moment.

But, me being a stubborn creature aside, I really do appreciate the advice and concern, and I hope that you are doing well!