#I'm sure anyone reading this is like 'bro maybe you ARE the problem maybe you should just stop talking?' like YEAH!! CORRECT!!!!!!

[fragglerockopinions]

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[petew21-blog]

Friends with benefits

Two long time friends Trent and Brett. A classic story. Met in kindergarten and have been friends since. Grew up together. Spent their holidays together. Graduated together. But then stopped seeing each other as often. Why? Because adult life ain't easy. Brett had to find a job while Trent got into college, graduated and on top of that became a fitness influencer. Brett started his Twitch account and became a gamer, which he had time for, cause how he was constantly doing a different job, depending on what he could find. But both of them always took some time off for a beer with their buddy.

This is Trent

Although he doesn't appear like that, he is a 24 year old male with young looks

On the other hand Brett is also young, but his looks are a bit more mature. Maybe it's because of all the hair

This is Brett

So hairy.

Normal guys, right? Well something was about to change very soon

Friday, August 2nd, 5 PM

Brett:"Hey, dude. Wanna grab a beer later tonight?"

Trent:"Yeah, sure. I am down. Is 8:30 ok? I gotta finish a video"

Brett:"Oh yeah, totally fine. See you then"

Friday, August 2nd, sports bar, 8:33 PM

At the bar Brett waits patiently, only his leg is slightly shaking. Trent comes in through the door. It's kinda funny, cause Trent used to be really insecure and not confident. Now he looks basically like a god. But still, he has this cute shy looking guy whose face doesnt match his body and the fact that he's 24. Brett was kinds jealous, most of the people that didn't know him always thought he was older because of his looks. Trent had the opposite problem. Always had to show ID whenever he went. Yet Brett was probably more jealous about his life in general. He finished school, took great care of his body, which now could help him hook up with anyone he would set his mind to.

Brett:"Hey, maaaan. How are you doing?"

Trent:"Heyyy. Yeah good. You know, single influencer life, haha"

Brett:"The ladies must be driving you crazy"

Trent:"If only it were just ladies. Haha. You should see the messages some of these gay dudes keep sending me. It's insane"

Brett:"You tell me. They always send random shits to my chats while playing. But it's mostly dumb kids."

Trent:"I think we should find you a date for tonight"

Brett:"Nahhh, fuck it. I'm not in the mood. I just wanna chat with my bro."

After a few beers

Brett:"Shut up, you did not!"

Trent:"I swear. She came on to me without a word."

Brett:"So what did you do?"

Trent:"You think I put up a fight? Haha"

Brett:"Maaaan. I want this stuff to happen to me to. That's so hot"

Trent:"Come with me to the gym then, I bet more chicks woukd be into you if you would gain some muscles"

Brett:"You calling me fat?"

Trent:"No, just saying that all that body hair would be good to match with a good body. You're just a walking gorilla right now"

Brett:"Oh shut up twink! Haha"

They finished their drinks, said their goodbyes and went home.

Brett felt amazing. He really needed to get a beer with his best friend. He came back home, sat behind his computer and searched Dark web. He already knew what he was looking for. He wanted to mess with Trent. Just a another one of his pranks. All he needed was Trent's personal item. He found the body swapping website. He read the rules and conditions and filled out his and Trents name. The only next step he had to follow was to go to sleep. And so he did. Only taking off his shirt in the process and collapsing on the bed. Not even brushing his teeth

Brett woke up feeling better than ever. He was used to have a hangover by now, but today he felt great. He opened his eyes and immediately noticed the different sheets. He looked around. This is Trent's place.

Brett:"Trent?" he said, but he heard Trent's voice.

He turned around to get up

His body. He has a different body

Brett:"Holy shit. It worked" he said amused. He looked down at his now soft chest. He got up

Brett:"Oh wow. getting up is so different when you have these hard muscles"

He went to the nearest mirror. And there he was. Trent in his glory. Brett was so happy right now. His prank worked. He is now inside of his best friends body. And the pranks probably won't stop there. Now he can mess with him all he wants. But not now.

He looked from top to bottom how tall and slim his body was. "Almost no hair anywhere. Lucky guy"

He took Trent's phone and snapped a photo to send it to Trent in his body. He knew it would take a while for Trent to wake up so he proceeded in his exploration.

He felt his curly hair. "How come you don't even have widow's peak? So unfair" He traced his jawline, now with tiny baby hair that Brett wouldn't even call a beard. But his sight was now caught by those nice Calvin Klein's. He looked around as if there was someone in the room with him who would judge him. He pulled on the waistband

Brett:"Just as I thought. Also shaved" he grabbed his new dick, that was getting harder and harder by the second, when suddenly his phone received a notification. he let go of his dick

It was Trent. Brett:"Haha, this is gonna be good"

There was a photo of Brett's body, observing his hairy armpits in shock

Trent in Brett's body:"Hey. Got any idea why I am a gorilla now? And why that gorilla looks exactly like you?"

Brett:"Surpriseee. And fuck you"

Trent:"So this is your doing?"

Brett:"Yeah, I kinda wanted to prank you somehow for all the pranks and the gorilla jokes. Joke's on you ape man"

Trent:"Fuck you. So this is reversible?"

Brett:"Sure, man. No worries. We'll meet tonight at the bar again and chat how our day went?"

Trent:"I don't know how to feel about this, bro"

Brett:"Just try enjoying being another person"

Trent:"Do you realise there are some no go things including intimate stuff and hygiene?"

Brett:"Sure I do. I'm already holding your dick in YOUR hands right now"

Trent:"Dude! Not cool. I meant more stuff like shitting etc. But yeah, this too."

Brett:"I gotta say Trent. You have a very nice dick"

Trent:"I'll comment on your size when I find it in the bushes I guess. Have you never heard of trimming?"

Brett:"Keeping it natural, baby face"

Trent:"Fine, let's see each other tonight at 8, ok?"

Brett:"Enjoyyy" Hangs up

Trent:"Jesus, this guy. I hope he doesn't fuck up something or someone"

Starts observing himself. "I must say, It feels good to look like a mature man and not a teenager. All of this hair. And the moustache is hot too. I could never grow this thing"

Trent looked down and had a mischievous thought. "Well, Brett. Since you have already held my dick, I think it's time to step it up. Gonna see if you can last longer than I do" Trent said with a smile and whipped out his new hard hairy dick

Saturday August the 3rd, bar, 8:04 PM

Brett is sitting amused in the bar, eating chips on the table and drinking beer. Winking at the ladies looking at his direction.

A waitress came by his table:"Want another?"

Brett noticed his old incoming body:"Sure, and another one for my friend who just arrived. Thank you, sweetheart" he said as his flirtatious look almost seduced the local waitress

Trent:"You need to stop!"

Brett:"What? I was just flirting"

Trent:"Not that. Stop eating those chips. God knows how many calories you ate already"

Brett:"So you don't mind that I was flirting with her?"

Trent:"Nah, I don't care. I jerked off your dick for like the fifth time half an hour ago"

Brett:"What? You beast. I would have never expected that. Cool. You have a really good dick to jerk off too. I didn't expect to shoot so far tho. Made a bit of a mess"

A couple off bikers started eavesdropping to their conversation and turning heads

Trent:"You might want to quiet down, or we're gonna get beaten up for mistakenly speaking like gay guys"

Brett:"But you gotta admit that my body is not so bad, right? All the hair and everything. You like it"

Trent:"It's not bad, but I prefer being in my own body. I'm used to it."

Brett:"Ok, I'll pretend I didn't hear the part before about masturbation. But what do you say? We didn't even have enough time to see what the life is like in our new bodies. It's only been a day"

Trent:"And your point is?"

Brett:"Let's stay swapped for a while. We can swap back anytime we want. It's reversible. We know almost everything about each other, so pretending to be the other one will be easy. You'll just teach me your workout routine, I'll show you... what games to play and how to set up a livestream and we'll figure it out"

Trent:"Livestream? That's all you got?"

Brett:"Come on, man. We got nothing to loose"

Trent:"I don't know man. It's gonna be complicated. I agreed to leave for a few weeks to work at one of our gym branches in another city. And now you'll be the one that has to go. I think now is not the best time"

Brett:"So? I can update you about everything. We can chat all the time. We can call. And I got nothing to do. Actually, you might need to find some job for those few weeks. And there's never gonna be a better time then now. We're single, ready to mingle. So let's enjoy that month"

Trent:"You wanna stay swapped the whole tíme I'm gone?"

Brett:"Yeah, I'll be a fitness instructor/viral star and you'll ne enjoying my chill life"

Trent:"Chill life. Man, you won't even recognise your life when we'll swap back"

Brett:"So you agree?"

Trent:"Yeah, what the hell. I'll be a gorilla for a month"

Brett:"Deal. Now, let's see if you'll have a better game in finding a hookup then me"

Sunday, August 4th

Brett sends a text to Trent:"Why do I feel like my body still hasn't gone through puberty?"

Trent:"Piss off. Yours looks like it went trough yours several times."

Brett:"Nah, gotta be honest. I'm really enjoying this lean figure and hairless body"

Trent:"And my dick..."

Brett:"Haha, yeah and your dick. How are you doing in my body?"

Trent:"Feels pretty weird to be so hairy, but gotta admit it's a nice change. Like... feeling so manly"

Brett:"Yeah, but tip for that hairy stomach. Don't cum on it. It's really irritating to get cum from it"

Trent:"Never had the issue in my body, so yeah. Thanks for the tip"

Brett:"No problem. I had to try it out in yours haha"

Trent:"Doesn't this feel kinda gay to you? All the dick and jerk off talk. Appreciating each other's bodies"

Brett:"Nah. We're exploring, man. Who knows if we ever get that chance. Gotta enjoy it"

Wednesday August 7th

Trent:"How are you settling in?"

Brett:"Yeah. Pretty great. I just jerked off to some porn"

Trent:"Ew. I mean the appartement"

Brett:"Whooops. Sorry. Right. Yeah it's nice. Very clean. Very modern"

Trent:"It's yours only for a month so don't destroy anything there"

Brett:"It's kinda poetic right. New appartement, new body, new job"

Trent:"I don't see anything poetic about me playing games in front of a camera"

Brett;"Dude you have to. My fans are gonna wonder what happened to me"

Trent:"Fine. I'll log in tonight. By the way. Dude your feet smell so much when you work out."

Brett:"Work out? You took my body to the gym?

Trent:"Yeah. I had to show off these bushes somewhere, right?"

Brett:"Ahhh thanks man. Looking good"

Trent:"And I think oke girl was checking you... me out"

Brett:"If you can score than go for it. I'm actually late for a date. Or... how do you call it if you're just gonna have dinner and fuck?"

Trent:"Standard hook up man. Please be safe. Wear a condom. And watch our foe those carbs, man."

Brett:"Sure thing, bye"

Monday, August 12 th

Brett:"Dude do you like ever have to shave your face?"

Trent:"Sure I do. I just don't have to do it so often as you. Btw can I please shave off this moustache?"

Brett:"Absolutely not. You'll learn to love it and appreciate it. Just like I will your baby face"

Saturday, August 17th

Brett:"I have to admit I really love showing off your muscles man. I have been doing it constantly at every occassion. So many people turn their heads to take a peak"

Trent:"Yeah I get it. It helps with the confidence a bit"

Brett:"A bit? I feel like I can beat any fucker whk crosses me"

Trent:"Brett, please don't beat anyone in my body"

Brett:"Just kidding, man. How have you been"

Trent:"Well I tried being consistent with the gym. I think your body is doing pretty well"

Brett:"Daaaamn bro. I look good. You really do take care of my body really well"

Trent:"I was actually thinking I could offer this for money. Swapping with people, doing their routines and then swap back. But that's a talk for another time after we swap back"

Brett:"Yeha, sure. Cool idea. Anyway... how was the streaming?"

Trent:"I don't know, man. I think they are desperste for me to say your catchphrases, but they are so cringe."

Brett:"Nah, you have to do that. That's how you get into Tiktoks and become viral"

Trent:"Honestly. I can't wait to get back to my body and to my life back. So we will swap on September 2nd?

Brett:"Yeah. I suppose. Depends how the work will be etc. Anyway I gotta go man. Talk soon"

Trent to himself:"It feels like he's avoiding me with amswering more and more. Trent rubbed his hairy chest, recalling his sweet soft pecs that he missed.

Thursday, August 22nd

Trent:"Hey, man. How is it going?"

Friday, August 23rd

Trent:"Hey. I just wanna know if you're ok. I just wanna talk about the reversal."

Saturday:"please call me back as soon as possible"

Sunday, August 25th

Brett:"I'm ok"

Trent:"What the hell happened?"

Brett:"Nothing I just felt like I needed a break from phone and that stuff"

Trent:"Brett you didn't answer the phone for 4 days"

Brett:"Ok, I was avoiding you, cause I kinda fucked up and was afraid to tell you"

Trent:'What did you do? Is my body ok?"

Brett:"Yeah your body is unharmed. Nothing that bad. We just had a party in the appartement. Broke the TV and... I had unprotected sex with one girl. She didn't know if she was pregnant or not. So I was waiting. And congrats. You're not gonna be a dad"

Trent:"Brett..."

Brett:"I know. I'm so sorry. Won't happen again. Promise. I just got drunk once and it led to this. I'll be good now"

Trent:"Please, don't do anything anymore. I want to switch back"

Brett:"Nah man. We still gotta week to finish. You said until September 2nd."

Trent:"I didn't know you'd do something like this"

Brett:"Please Trent. I'm begging you. Just that one week"

Trent:"Fine. But don't do anything else!"

Sunday, September 1st

Brett:"Hey. Are you packed yet?"

Trent:"Hey. Not really. I planned on packing tommorow. You can come and help if you got time"

Brett:"Sure. I'll come by"

Monday, September 2nd

Trent arrives to the appartement. Brett is on the couch playing video games

The TV is new and there is a PlayStation on the table

Trent:"You didn't tell me you got back into gaming and that you bought all this."

Brett:"Yeha, I missed it. I thought to myself that you'd like it too. So I bought it. By the way. You should see how the fans dig it"

Trent:"Fans? You're live streaming in my body?"

Brett:"Yeah. The gamers are so into it when I'm flexing in the spare time. I even got a viral Tiktok already!"

Trent:"I think we should swap back, Brett. My life is out of your control now."

Brett:"I'm just using all the goods, man. You don't like my body anymore?"

Trent:"Stop changing the subject. I want to swap back"

Brett:"Ok... but on one condition"

Trent:"You want money?"

Brett;"Nah I want to have sex with my body. I want to have sex with you."

Trent:"You have lost your mind"

Brett:"Oh come on. Admit it, that you thought about it. Who gets the chance to fuck their body? To watch their body in the most animalistic moments from somebody else eyes?" Brett flexes his biceps to let Brett watch

Trent:"Brett..."

Brett stands up and goes towards Trent

Brett:"You know you want to kids thus face. To suck this hard dick" he says holding tightly his hardening bulge

Trent:"I... I do. I want to suck my dick"

Brett:"Atta boy"

They begin making out. The fast movements heading towards the bedroom could be described as chaotic, but for them it was a dance of passion. Brett was ripping his old clothes from his old body was all over his body, kissing his neck. Sucking each part of his skin

The kissed even more

Brett began to be more dominant. He gripped Trent's now receding hairline and pushed him down to suck his dick. Trent was choking. But did his best to swallow most of the shaft he now had. He had his dick in his mouth. He couldn't believe it. He is straight and he is sure of that. But this is absolutely different

Brett took his old body by the neck, choking him. "Say you love being in my body"

Trent:"Brett I can't breathe"

Brett:"Fine, let's do this the hard way"

He turned him around. Trent now on all fours. He knew what was coming, but he wasn't ready

Brett spit in his hand and spread it all over the head od his dick. Ready to penetrate his old hairy hole

Trent:"Brett wait... I... Ahhhhhhhh". Trent screamed in pain

Brett:"Yeah. Sorry about that. I'm just so horny. I love your body, Trent. I love every inch od it. Admit you like mine"

Trent:"Brett, please slow down"

Brett:"Naaah, you'll get used to it in a sex"

Trent:"Please, get lube or something"

Brett spit again to where his dick was penetrating Trent's ass. Brett:"Should do it"

Trent was still in pain, but now a new feeling was making him feel better. The pain was now... pleasant? He wanted to feel more. With every thrust from Brett. He felt like shitting himself and cumming at the same time

Brett:"Admit it. Admit you love being in my body" he sped up. Thrusting painfully.

Trent:"Yeah.... yes..."

Brett:"Louder"

Trent:"I do... I love your body. I love being you"

Brett:"Ahhhh. I'm gonna cum. Turn around. I want to cum on your chest"

Trent turned around. He could feel cum leaking from his dick. And now he saw his old face like he never did before. Brett was so into it. His face was full of lust, rage and mischief.

Brett:"Ahhhh. I'm cumming!"

The cum shot all over Trent. Not only on his chest, but also on his mouth and face

Trent watched in awe what just happened.

Brett:"Whew. That was a ride wasn't it? First gay sex. Am I right?"

Trent:"Brett... I?"

Brett:"Oh sorry. I have to catch my breath. You look so funny with my cum all over you. Haha. By the way. I'm glad you love your new body. You get to keep it"

Trent:"Brett, you said we would swap"

Brett:"Yeah I did. That's true. But after this little 'cum over your face' and 'dick in your ass' we made it permanent"

Trent watched in shock as his old body was still standing on top of him. Breathing rapidly and laughing.

Several months later

Hi my name is Brett. Welcome to my only fans channel. If you got any hairy request, hit me up

Brett in Trent's body:"Well this is just pathetic. Man, I knew you'd crumble. But this just seems you lost your mind"

Trent's massive colleague came next to him:"Hey, bro. What are you looking at?"

Brett:"Just looking how one of my friends threw away their life, kinda sad. But whatever. Their life, not mine"

Friend:"Hey, wanna grab a beer later this evening?"

Brett scanned his friend from top to bottom and smiled:"Sure thing. Be there at eight"

Brett thought about switching it up a little. That body would be amazing. But then he turned around and looked at himself in the mirror. And flexed

Brett:"Nah. I'm Trent. And I'm keeping this body"

A request from messages (another one who waited for a LONG time, sorry guys) for @swappwas

Hope you like it :)

P.S. written late at night on a phone with a very irritating autocorrect, so please excuse the mistakes

[rosylix]

chaotic, my heart is off time

a certain dare leads jisung to discover he may not be as straight as he thinks he is or: felix is really pretty and jisung is confused

pairing: jilix (jisung × felix)

wc: 12.2k

content: college au, fluff, smut, a little angst, they are both awkward cuties tbh, alcohol, passing mention of drugged drink. slight inexperience, extremely platonic handjobs between bros, switch!felix kinda?, sub!jisung semi-awakening, jisung has a lot of feelings that scare him, depictions of anxiety/minor panic attack, sexuality crisis, includes texting screenshots (mainly at the end)

[also read on ao3]

—

It's all Hyunjin's fault, really. 

Jisung has nothing else to blame except his innate stupidity and the one too many drinks he had downed that are making him act even more stupid, if that's even possible. 

Stupid, stupid, stupid. This whole thing is just so stupid. 

That's the only thought in his head as he wanders the house of whichever classmate is hosting this party (probably one of Chan's friends, he knows everyone), searching for someone who would be down to let him give them a handjob without it being awkward or weird.

He should've known truth or dare was a terrible idea.

“Hm… I dare you to give someone a handjob,” Hyunjin had said with a smirk. “It can be anyone at the party.”

Jisung blinked. “Are you serious?”

“Dead serious.”

“But how will you even know, like…”

“I'll know,” he said simply, and gave him an unsettling look like he knew something Jisung didn't.

And that was it. Jisung was pushed out of the room, practically sent to the wolves to complete the dare before midnight. He felt like a fucked up rendition of Cinderella or something.

A handjob? Really, Hyunjin? Jisung doesn't even swing that way and yet he can't find it in himself to back down from the dare. He knows it's a problem, his inability to admit defeat when faced with a challenge. Not to say that the alcohol buzzing through his system isn't playing a part as well. It definitely is.

Jisung lightly slaps himself and mentally tells himself to get a grip, dude. It's just a handjob between bros. A totally chill and normal endeavor! He doesn't know why he's making such a big deal out of it (he's definitely done weirder things before) but something about the idea is making a weird nervous feeling creep through his system.

It's fine. It's literally not a big deal. I'm sure the guys wouldn't even mind getting jerked off, he tells himself as he continues looking around (definitely not stalling) from the corner he's found himself nestled in. Ultimately, he decides that in order to have the least awkward situation possible he should try to find someone he's friends with rather than a random stranger. He goes through his list of friends he's comfortable with.

Chan? No. God, no. Jisung cringes immediately after thinking it. Chan's like a friend, brother, and parental figure all in one to Jisung. Even if he might agree to help, Jisung does not even want to entertain the thought any longer. He shudders.

Changbin? Uh… maybe? He was there at the truth or dare game so he already knows the situation. But he was also giving Hyunjin googly eyes the entire time so maybe not. Blegh.

Minho? Jisung thinks this is probably his best bet. Worst case, his hyung will laugh at his situation and turn him down kindly. But he trusts Minho to not let it become awkward between them either way.

Still, he should probably think through his other options. Obviously not Hyunjin… Jeongin? Even though he knows he's not, Jisung still sees him as a pure, innocent kid, he can't help it. Something about it just inherently feels wrong, he's like his little brother. Absolutely not.

So then, Seungmin? Honestly Jisung isn't totally averse to the idea… but Seungmin is his roommate and he would never be able to escape if things become awkward. So, no.

He doesn't know how long he's been standing there, probably looking pretty creepy he suddenly realizes, when a hand snaps in front of his face.

He blinks. When he looks up he sees a mildly annoyed Seungmin staring at him. Speak of the fucking devil.

"That was my drink, you know."

Oh. Jisung looks down at the drink he's holding—huh, when did he grab that?—and looks back up at Seungmin with an apologetic expression.

"I was wondering where this came from, sorry Min."

Seungmin waves it off. "That's so like you to just pick up any drink. You're lucky it was mine and not, like, some random person's." He pauses. "Or drugged."

Jisung laughs nervously. "Yeah uh, you're right, I'll be more careful." He straightens up. "Thank you for sacrificing your drink for the greater good," he says solemnly with a bow.

Seungmin rolls his eyes. "Yeah sure, anytime." He pauses. "Are.. you alright though? You've been standing here spaced out for a while but you usually love to go around annoying everyone. I would know, unfortunately." Another small roll of his eyes, then tilting his head to the side, he offers a light smile. "If you want we can go home and just watch Netflix or something?"

Of course Seungmin can tell something's up. Jisung isn't always the most comfortable in larger social gatherings with people outside his immediate friend circle. He much prefers to stay in his room and binge watch YouTube videos until he passes out, something his roommate is well aware of. Jisung appreciates the concern even if that isn't the current cause of his worries.

Still, he doesn't really want to bother Seungmin with his current predicament. "Aww, is my little Minnie worried about me~? I knew you cared about meee!" Jisung drawls, draping himself slightly over the taller boy in a messy embrace. 

"Shut up, oh my god you're so annoying." Seungmin pushes him away but Jisung doesn't miss the slight pull at the corners of his mouth. "Anyway, I was serious. I was gonna go bother Old Man Chan but if you wanna leave that's cool too. You seemed really out of it earlier. Just staring at this thing like it would give you life's secrets." He grabs the can from Jisung's hand and grimaces after taking a sip, muttering something about alcohol ruining the perfectly good taste of lemonade before handing it back to Jisung.

While the offer to just bail on the party and his dare is tempting, Jisung doesn't want to give up like that. His pride and dignity are on the line here. "Oh uh, I mean, it's nothing really. Just another one of Hyunjin's weird dares, I can handle it. But thanks Seungie."

He tries to give a reassuring smile but it must have come off a bit nervous anyway because Seungmin gives him a cut-the-crap look. "Okaay, but still, you never get this worked up over his dares. What did he say to do this time? I'm sure it can't be worse than that time you licked—"

Jisung's eyes widen and he immediately slaps a hand over the taller boy's mouth. "Oh my god Seungmin, we don't talk about that. That was quite possibly the worst thing I've ever done." He groans at the memory.

Seungmin laughs and pushes his hand away. "Yeah that was pretty bad. So? It can't be as bad as that right?"

Jisung bites his lip, damn it, he was hoping Seungmin would drop it. He doesn't even know why he's getting so in his head about the dare, he's sure Minho or one of the others will be fine with it once he explains the situation. What's a brojob between bros, right? Right?

Shit, Seungmin is still waiting for an answer. Should he just tell him? He's comfortable enough with him that it wouldn't be that weird. But.. he just can't bring himself to. "Hmm… I don't know. I mean it's a little weird but at least I won't have to do this one in front of other people. No public embarrassment this time if that's what you were hoping for," he says around a grin that thankfully comes naturally.

Seungmin frowns and opens his mouth to say something when he's waved over by a smiling Jeongin. He smiles back, then turns back to Jisung, who doesn't fail to notice the light dusting of pink on his cheeks. Oh? He's definitely gonna tease Seungmin for that later. "Alright, well if you're sure you're okay I'll leave you to it but you're telling me all about this later. And if it's really that bad then don't do it, okay? Hyunjin wouldn't force you to do anything if you really don't want to." 

“I know… thanks,” Jising smiles genuinely. “Uh—completely unrelated—have you seen Minho hyung anywhere?”

Seungmin raises an eyebrow but shakes his head. “I heard from Chan that he left already. Something about his cats he said. Why?”

Jisung's heart sinks. There goes his only real hope. “No reason…” he shakes his head and puts on a smile again. “Um, I think your boyfriend's waiting.” He points to Jeongin with a small smirk.

Seungmin's ears turn scarlet as he sees who Jisung is pointing to. His head snaps back wildly. “My what— we're not—”

Jisung puts his hands up in surrender. “Okay, my bad, my bad… I didn't say anything.”

Seungmin narrows his eyes. “No, you didn't. Bye!” And he runs off in Jeongin's direction, leaving Jisung alone with his—well really Seungmin's—drink.

Jisung leans back into his corner, thoughts going rampant. Minho, his only saving grace, already left. What does he do now!? Obviously he knows Hyunjin would never force him into doing the dare if he's really uncomfortable, but that doesn't mean Jisung wouldn't be embarrassed for not being able to! And it's not that he doesn't want to, he's just… worried. Worried that it'll be too weird and awkward and Jisung really doesn't want to mess up any of his friendships. Not to mention his… limited experience. Sure, he has some experience with girls but with a guy? Obviously not. What if he's like, really, really bad??

Whatever! If Jisung is anything, he's not a coward. In a sudden rush of adrenaline, he tips his head back, downs the rest of Seungmin's drink, and seeing as all his friends are out of the question, he decides to walk over to the first male specimen he lays his eyes on. What could go wrong?

Oh. Of course everything could go wrong. He realizes his grave mistake when he notices the unmistakable head of blond hair in his vision. Felix. Pretty boy and literal innocent ball of sunshine.

Felix had recently transferred from Australia, and while he was super friendly whenever they talked, they weren't incredibly close. Not that Jisung doesn't want to be, it just takes him a while to warm up to new people. And they only share one class together. Still, they do talk a lot in that class, and he probably hasn't gotten comfortable with someone that fast since Minho hyung, Jisung realizes with some surprise.

But that wasn't the issue. From what he could tell (from a few truth or dare rounds from previous parties), Felix became really shy whenever the topic was even slightly sexual. He definitely wouldn't want to go along with Jisung's dare, and would probably be uncomfortable even talking about it. The last thing Jisung wants is to make anyone uncomfortable, least of all Felix.

He moves to turn around but it seems the blond has already noticed him approaching by the way he breaks out into a smile and waves. Jisung silently curses his dumb impulsiveness as he continues making his way to the other boy. It's fine. He can just act normal, talk with Felix for a bit and then go find someone else.

But when he arrives and sees Felix up close, Jisung's mind goes blank. With truly striking timing, the single brain cell he'd been clinging to all night decides to abandon him and he just stares for a few seconds.

Finally, his brain decides to award him a single staggering thought: Oh, he looks really pretty. 

Felix looks back at him, bright smile still reaching his eyes, which are shimmery and lightly lined with eyeliner. And oh, Jisung is just standing here like an idiot, which he is, but god, he's really been acting more idiotic than usual.

"Uh, hey Felix!" he says and cracks a hesitant smile.

"Yo, my twin! What's up?"

Jisung laughs and immediately relaxes a little. They had found out that their birthdays are only one day apart during a lame icebreaker in class. "Just… wanted to say hi. How're you liking the party? It's only, what, your second or third one here? Chan's parties are always the best."

"It's cool! And yeah, Chris—I mean, Chan hyung's like totally awesome. At first I was intimidated by him but when I found out he's a fellow Aussie I almost cried on the spot. I definitely wouldn't have adjusted as well if not for him." Felix looks away and smiles to himself, to Jisung's relief. He was admittedly having a hard time maintaining eye contact with Felix's bright eyes constantly glittering up at him.

“I know what you mean. He's saved my life more than once.” Jisung chuckles. Then he figures he should escape before he inevitably makes a fool of himself. “Uhh, anyway I just wanted to check in and say hi but I guess I'll get going…”

“So soon? I was thinking of checking in with you actually.”

Jisung blinks. “You… sorry?”

“You've just been standing over there for the past twenty minutes or so", Felix points to the corner Jisung was lurking in earlier. "Even I know that's kinda uncharacteristic of you. I was getting worried. And then you just came speeding towards me like a man on a mission."

“You were watching me that whole time!?” Jisung all but shrieks.

“Ah, um…” Felix rubs his neck. “Not the whole time but… yeah.” He shrugs, “Sorry, is that weird? I was just worried about you.”

Jisung feels his heart swell from the kindness of this boy he's not even incredibly close with. He should make an effort to talk to him more often outside of class. “No it's… it's nothing. We were playing truth or dare and Hyunjin gave me a pretty strange dare so I've just been, y'know, thinking about how to get out of it I guess." He laughs and shrugs.

Felix hums. "Is it as bad as when Hyunjin made you lick the—"

Jisung's mouth drops open and he instinctively covers Felix's mouth with his hand. "Oh my god, Felix! How do you even know about that!?"

Felix shrugs. "Your friends seem to love telling embarrassing stories about you." Jisung feels him laugh under his hand, and his face warms when he realizes where that hand still is. He quickly pulls it back and instead uses it to bury his head in, partly to hide the red on his face and partly because he, quite simply, would like the ground to open up and swallow him whole.

The universe wouldn't be so kind as to grant him that though. Jisung would have gladly spent the next thirty minutes reliving embarrassing moments in his life (unfortunately there is no shortage of these) and wanting to die but the sound of Felix giggling tempts him to peek between his fingers.

"Don't worry, they haven't told me much else," Felix says, the teasing smile remaining on his face. "But I do know about when you publicly asked Ryujin out only for her to tell you she's a lesbian—"

"Whoa, hey!" Jisung retorts, his hands now up in the air. "Yeah, that was embarrassing but it wasn't that bad! How was I supposed to know she's not into guys? Well, okay, maybe it's pretty obvious and I'm just a dumbass but still!" Jisung pouts. "Can we not talk about my failed attempts at romance anymore?"

Felix laughs. "Sure, you never told me what crazy dare you got from Hyunjin this time,” he tilts his head curiously.

Damn, Jisung almost forgot about why he's in this situation in the first place: that stupid dare that's making his mind run in circles. “Haha, well, it’s… it's nothing.” He says oh-so eloquently.

Felix pouts. “I'm so curious now. Can’t you tell me, please?”

Jisung's heart stutters a bit at the way the other's lip juts out. Cute. “I-It's just…” he sighs. How is he supposed to say no to that face? “Um.. he dared me to… to give someone here a… a handjob…?” It comes out like a question for some reason.

Felix's eyes widen. “Oh.” He pauses and Jisung feels like he already messed things up. He's just about to change the subject when Felix speaks again. “Were you… gonna ask me..? Is that why you came up to me?” he asks hesitantly.

Jisung waves his hands around frantically. “No! No, I mean—” He cringes. “Kind of..? I kind of wasn't thinking and just went to the first person I saw, but when I recognized you I changed my mind, I swear!” 

For some reason, this only makes Felix look sad. “You didn't want to because it was me..?” he asks quietly.

“I-I mean—it's just, you're—...” 

“I'm what, Jisung..?” Felix looks hurt.

Jisung doesn't know what to do. He thought he was being considerate of Felix by not wanting to do this with him but Felix seems upset?? God, what did he do!? 

“N-No, it's not you, I mean, it's not that I don't like you! I just figured you'd be uncomfortable or something so…” 

“Oh.” Thankfully, Felix seems slightly placated. “W-Well, I'm not, so…”

Jisung blinks. “Um, you're not.. What do you mean…” he laughs nervously.

“I'm not uncomfortable. I'll let you… if you want… I don't, um, mind.”

Jisungs mouth falls open and he gapes at Felix. Surely, he misheard. “A-Are you serious?”

“Mhm…” Felix nods, his face pink.

“Um.” Jisung blinks rapidly as his brain practically short circuits at what Felix is saying. He's okay with it?! Jisung swears he must be losing his mind. This is a dream, right? There's no way he would actually agree to this. His brain suddenly conjures up images of what it would be like to touch Felix in that way. Oh my god. 

Unsure if Felix notices Jisung's brain melting out of his skull, he's snapped back to reality when he hears Felix hesitantly ask, “Do you not want to..?”

“No! I mean, yes? I mean, it's just a little weird, you know? But you'd be doing me a favor I guess, so… yeah. Um, if you're sure you're okay with it?” Jisung swallows.

Felix's lips turn up slightly and he nods, effectively quelling the anxiety that had been bubbling up in Jisung's stomach. And, wow, he must be more tipsy than he thought because suddenly he thinks Felix looks even more beautiful than before.

Jisung's heart stutters inexplicably again. He nods. “Okay, let's um, go somewhere?” He grabs Felix's hand.

—

The two of them find an empty bedroom and Jisung locks the door behind them as they walk in.

Jisung shuffles onto the bed somewhat awkwardly, Felix joining him slowly. They sit like that for a few seconds and Jisung notices Felix fidgeting with his hands slightly.

Jisung decides to break the silence. "Um." Felix lifts his head. "You know you don't have to do this right? Like, really, really don't have to," he laughs nervously.

Felix nods, "Yeah I... I know, thanks." He gives a soft smile. "I guess I'm just a little nervous? I don't know." 

Jisung bites his lip. "Have you ever..?" 

Felix looks back down at his hands. “Um… a few times back in Australia but, like, not that far."

“Oh okay. You always seem so shy about the topic so I thought..”

Felix blushes slightly. “I went to a catholic school, so I'm just.. not used to talking about it so openly I guess,” he shrugs.

"Well, if it makes you feel better, I've never done this before,” Jisung admits. Felix looks up in what looks like shock. "I mean—! I mean, never with a guy. I'm uh, y'know, I'm straight."

Felix blinks for a second. He nods slowly.

"Anyway! It's not a big deal right? Are—are you sure you're still okay with this?"

“Um.. if you are.”

“Yeah, well, I'm not really the one with a choice here..” Jisung laughs. 

Felix frowns. “Of course you have a choice. Why would your friend dare you to do this anyway if you're straight?? That's kinda weird.”

“Is it..? I feel like it's… I mean, it's not really a big deal. Just a brojob between bros. It doesn't have to be weird, right?”

“A bro—...” Felix coughs out a laugh. “R-Right. If you're sure.”

Jisung nods. “Yeah. Are you?”

Felix nods as well.

"Okay, should I just, um," Jisung shifts so he's closer to Felix and reaches for the other's thigh. He's kind of at an odd angle though, so, without thinking much about it, he swings a leg over Felix so he's sitting in the other's lap.

Felix just stares up at him with wide eyes. Shit, did he make things too weird? "Uh.. is this okay?" 

Felix blinks and clears his throat. "Yeah. You can, um, start. I'll tell you if I want you to stop," he says quietly.

"Okay," Jisung whispers, afraid to break whatever strange atmosphere has settled around the two of them.

He tried to sound confident earlier but god, he doesn't know what the hell he's doing. Unable to bear looking into Felix's eyes any longer, Jisung looks down and slowly, hesitantly slides his hand up Felix's leg and presses against the front of his jeans.

Felix lets out a huff of air so Jisung does it again, working over Felix's jeans until he's breathing heavily and Jisung can feel a more prominent bulge under his fingers.

"Um should—can I take these off?"

Felix lets out a shaky breath. "Yeah."

Jisung undoes the button and pulls down the zipper almost painstakingly slowly. He can feel the younger's eyes on him but he refuses to meet them. Once it's fully unzipped, Felix shifts and lifts his hips up so Jisung can pull his pants and boxers down.

And oh my god. Jisung didn't think that he would literally ever think this about another guy's dick but it looks almost... pretty? He just stares for a few moments, unsure of how to proceed when his head feels fuzzy with radio static.

Felix shifts nervously under Jisung's gaze. "Jisung..." It's almost a whine and fuck, since when did Felix sound that pretty? He swears his name has never sounded prettier on someone else's lips.

But shit, right, Felix is right in front of him, Jisung is basically on top of him, and he's waiting for Jisung to touch him.

So he does.

As soon as he wraps his fingers around Felix and starts to move, the younger shudders and sighs quietly. Having literally no other experience, Jisung just tries to do what does on himself. He slides his hand up and down slowly, and when he swipes his thumb over the tip, Felix lets out a little moan that prompts Jisung to look at his face for the first time since they started. And oh.

Felix's eyes have fluttered shut and his eyebrows are slightly furrowed. He's flushed, mouth hanging slightly open as he draws in shallow breaths. Jisung doesn't know what to do besides stare and keep moving his hand as he tries to commit the image in front of him to memory.

Felix bites his lip and grips the sheets when Jisung goes over the head again and holy shit, he's leaking so much. Jisung doesn't really know what he's doing but he supposes he's doing it right by the way Felix is breathing heavily through his nose, lips pressed shut. Jisung wishes he wouldn't try to be quiet.

"Felix." He looks up, and fuck, Jisung didn't think this through because now Felix is looking at him, eyes dark and heavy, and Jisung hears static again.

"Yeah? Ahh—" He moans before pressing his lips and eyes shut again.

Fuck.

"Don't—don't cover your noises."

Felix looks at him with an unreadable expression that makes him think he overstepped for a second, but then he slowly nods and complies, letting out more and more of those pretty little sounds that are making Jisung lose his mind.

On one particular stroke Felix tips his head back and cries, "Fuck, Jisung, please.."

Jisung seriously thinks he might pass out. "You're so pretty."

Felix shivers and whimpers, eyes shut tightly and Jisung literally has no clue what possessed him to say that but after seeing Felix's reaction he sure isn't planning on stopping any time soon.

"So pretty." A little noise from the back of Felix's throat. He feels like he's under a spell, words just falling out of his mouth. "S-So beautiful like this, making the prettiest sounds. Baby..."

Felix gasps into Jisung's chest, cock twitching as he lets out an embarrassed keening noise. One of his hands comes up to grasp Jisung's arm for leverage. 

Until now, the hand not on Felix's cock has been just sitting on the bed, so Jisung tentatively brings it to Felix's waist. And holy fuck his waist is so small but at the same time Jisung could feel well defined abs through his shirt and how is Felix even real?

He hesitantly slips his hand under the hem of Felix's shirt, who gasps at the sudden skin contact.

"Is this okay?"

Felix nods and Jisung feels his breath catch when a small hand covers his own, guiding it further along his torso in a silent plea to keep going.

He continues to explore the expanse of Felix's body in awe as the younger drops his hand to grip at Jisung's thigh instead. He's panting heavily and letting soft moans and whimpers slip past his lips with every drag of Jisung's hands along his cock or abdomen. 

Jisung trails the hand on Felix's chest higher until he slowly, experimentally brushes over his nipple. Felix arches his back into Jisung's hand and his head tips back as he moans so fucking low in his throat it really shouldn't be possible. 

Jisung watches Felix shake under him as he rubs his thumb in circles over the nub before moving to the other one. He starts letting out desperate little whines, the stark contrast from his low moans leaving Jisung's head reeling.

"Fuck, fuck, I can't—m'gonna—" 

Jisung takes it as a sign to redouble his efforts, stroking faster until Felix is gasping, "please please, Jisung, please," and it's all Jisung can do to stare dumbly as he moans and cums in streaks of white that slide down Jisung's hand. He works him through it, pulling his hands away once the younger's breathing has calmed down a bit.

For several seconds, they just sit there, sharing heavy breaths. Unable to meet the other's eyes, Jisung stares at his hand, covered in Felix's release. He almost wants to lick it which—okay, what the fuck. He isn't going to think about where that thought came from right now.

He takes a deep breath and grabs a tissue from the nightstand.

Felix does the same. Jisung finishes wiping his hand and looks up to see that Felix is also cleaned up, and after pulling his pants back up he hides his face in his hands. 

Jisung's heart sinks. He ruined everything didn't he? "Um.. are you okay? I'm so sorry if I made you uncomfortable—"

Felix's head lifts up, eyes wide. "No! No, I mean, wouldn't it have been more uncomfortable for you? I'm just embarrassed," he says, cheeks red and looking to the side.

"Huh?? Why are you embarrassed?" Jisung says incredulously. If anyone should be embarrassed, it's Jisung for getting so wrapped up in the dare. Saying all those things to Felix, telling him to not be quiet, calling him baby?? He feels like he's on fire from embarrassment, hot and flushed all over.

"What do you mean? You're not the one who was just begging like a little bitch. Fuck, I'm so sorry." He drops his head back into his hands.

Jisung taps his chin thoughtfully. "You have a praise kink," he says observantly.

Felix flushes and gasps. "I do not! " He lunges forward and Jisung's not entirely sure what happened but suddenly he's on his back and Felix is on top of him and it feels good and he moans when the other boy presses into him, what the fuck?

What the fuck.

Felix stares down at him with wide eyes and Jisung's positive he's bright red right now. What the fuck, he's hard? Just from touching Felix? This was absolutely not part of the plan. What the fuck. He closes his eyes and desperately wishes for the soft bed covers to consume him so he would never have to face Felix or anyone ever again.

Alas, he hesitantly opens his eyes and Felix is still hovering on top of him. Why, why, why hasn't he moved yet? Jisung can't even try to run away. There's truly no escape, he'll just have to face this hell that he created for himself.

Right when he opens his mouth to sputter out an apology or something, he isn't really sure, Felix moves against him again and it just feels so good and Jisung fucking moans again.

Felix inhales sharply. "Sorry, oh my god I shouldn't have— Are you—? Fuck— Do you want me to like… Like I wouldn't mind if— Since y'know... But should I stop?" he stutters.

Jisung doesn't know what stupid sex hormones he's drunk on, or maybe he's still feeling tipsy from the lemonade earlier because he's struck with the vague and inexplicable urge to kiss the boy on top of him.

Or maybe that's just the effect Felix has on him.

"Kiss me..?" He mumbles and subsequently watches Felix's eyes widen along with his own. He slaps his hand over his mouth in horror.

"No wait, fuck, I didn't mean to say that, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm so stupid—"

Now Felix's hand is the one to cover Jisung's stupid mouth and he squeezes his eyes shut both in embarrassment and a weird surge of arousal at the feeling of having his mouth covered which he is not going to think about right now.

"I.. can do that… if you really want me to?" Felix says while looking back and forth between Jisung's eyes, like he's searching for something.

Jisung's brain short circuits and he barely registers nodding or saying yes but he must have because it's all too fast how Felix is leaning down and their faces are inches apart and all Jisung can think about is how soft and pretty the other boy's lips look and is it normal to be thinking that—?

Felix kisses him sweetly, almost a little too sweetly considering the situation, and Jisung parts his lips instinctively. The kiss deepens quickly and Jisung gasps against the other's mouth when his thigh presses against the front of Jisung's pants.

"Is this okay still?" Felix asks gently. He looks so fucking ethereal above him like this it makes Jisung want to cry.

He nods. "Please don't stop."

Felix inhales shakily and nods before leaning back down, this time his lips attaching to Jisung's neck as his leg presses back against him.

Jisung can't help the noise that escapes him, he feels floaty already with just being touched through his clothes like this. 

“You can.. pretend I'm a girl or something,” Felix whispers as his mouth travels down his neck. Right. Right, that's probably why Jisung is feeling this way. Felix is so pretty, almost like a girl and he must be getting confused, it's only natural, right? But for some reason Jisung really really doesn't want to imagine Felix as a girl. 

“I-Is that what you did with me?” Jisung asks through a gasp as Felix bites his neck.

“Um, well, I'm bi so..” he looks up bashfully.

“Oh. Right, okay.” So Jisung's the only one who's weird here for enjoying this. Cool. He's not left much time to dwell on it because Felix's hand starts snaking down to press over Jisung's clothed dick, which at this point is embarrassingly hard and straining against his pants.

Felix toys with the button and raises his head, meeting Jisung's eyes to ask for permission. Jisung gives a little nod, nervousness and excitement bubbling together as Felix undoes the button and zipper and finally, finally, touches him for real.

Jisung hadn't realized he'd been waiting for so long.

His head falls back when Felix touches him and he's barely even doing anything yet but it feels unreal. He has the fleeting thought that maybe this is exiting platonic brojob territory and becoming something he's entirely unequipped to deal with. Maybe even since the kiss, or when he called Felix pretty, but he doesn't have the mental capacity to think too hard about it right now or even care. All his thoughts fly out the window when Felix's mouth finds his own again.

"Need you to stay quiet for me, I think I hear people outside," Felix murmurs against his lips, his voice impossibly low. Jisung hadn't even noticed he was making sounds.

"Don't want anyone else hearing you like this," Felix continues, muffling Jisung's moans with his mouth as he keeps moving his hand up and down his length slowly. Where the hell did he learn to talk like that?! The increasingly deep timbre of his voice was not doing Jisung's sanity any favors.

Felix must deem the hallway clear now because he removes his mouth from Jisung's, and Jisung is back to moaning abashedly. 

“D-Does it feel good?” Felix asks, as if he's unsure of himself. Jisung squeezes his eyes shut. Is it not obvious from the way he's reacting?

“I just—wanna make sure I'm doing okay.”

“It feels—oh god—really good.”

Felix grins shyly. “Yeah?”

Jisung brings a hand up to cover his mouth and nods. He can feel himself getting close embarrassingly fast. He starts to whine and his hips stutter a bit into Felix's hand. “Please..”

Felix leans down and presses his lips to Jisung's throat again. He bites down, not enough to leave a mark but it feels dizzyingly good nonetheless. Jisung's never had someone overpower him like this before. He feels completely at Felix's mercy. It makes him shiver.

“Jisungie, you're so…” Felix murmurs into his skin, lips trailing along his collarbone.

Jisungie. His heart wobbles at the nickname and he can't help but whine. Felix is driving him insane. “Felix I think I'm—aahh, Felix, Lix..”

He pulls away from Jisung's neck with a smack. “Yeah, Sungie?”

“C-Can you—..” he looks at Felix's lips pleadingly.

Felix immediately presses his lips to his in a passionate kiss. Jisung moans into it and before he can properly warn Felix or anything, he's cumming with a high pitched keen. If he were more aware of himself he'd be embarrassed by the noise but as it is he can't even feel his legs properly. He shakes as Felix brings him down from his high. Then they just stay there, breathing heavily against each other's mouths.

Felix moves first, taking a deep breath before leaning up and away from Jisung. He peers down at him with bated breath. Jisung just lays there, hair fanning out around him. He feels sluggish, entirely spent and he stares back at Felix like a real angel descended from heaven. He seriously wouldn't be surprised if he actually were.

His trance is broken by Felix's voice, “Are you okay?”

Jisung blinks as he registers the words. He nods and slowly sits up. Felix offers him a small smile.

Once they've cleaned up, the euphoric feeling in Jisung's gut starts slowly transforming into a deep rooted anxiety that crawls its way up his spine. Fuck. What did they just do? What the fuck is happening to him? He feels himself shrinking away from the other boy instinctually, but he catches himself and clears his throat, attempting to straighten up.

“Um.. are we bros now?” He tries to joke, but his laugh sounds forced even to him.

Felix's lip quirks up for a second but he looks at him carefully. “Is that what you want? To be bros?”

Jisung opens his mouth to say something like of course bro or yeah what else? But his throat closes up. A sudden, inexplicable feeling of fear creeps into his gut.

“Jisung?”

He feels like he's suffocating, almost choking on air as he tries to get words out. “I— I don't know what... what I want. I'm so confused right now, I…”

“Hey, it's okay—”

“N-No! No, it's not. I'm sorry, I can't—” He shakes his head and leans away from Felix. He can't shake the sinking feeling that something is very, very wrong with him. How could he let this whole thing happen? Why is he feeling like this? He feels like a fraud of himself. He doesn't know what to do, he can't even process his feelings. He just knows he needs to get away from here, now.

He stands up quickly. Felix reaches for him but he's already crossing the room in long strides. As he twists the doorknob, he glances back to see Felix sitting with a hurt and confused expression before he shuts the door behind him.

Fuck. Jisung still can't breathe. He feels like it's only getting worse now that he's out in the open where people could see him. At least the hallway is currently empty, and he stumbles down it, not sure where he's going but just needing to get away. 

He staggers into an empty room. At least, he thought it was empty, but as he crosses the doorway he's met with a pair of familiar eyes on a head of long blond hair.

“Hyunjin,” he says wobbly.

Hyunjin's eyes go wide when he sees the shaky state Jisung is in. “Jisung? What's wrong?”

That's when Jisung breaks down. Tears start streaming down his cheeks in rivulets. “I h-hate you! Why'd you make me do that??”

“Whoa, hey…” Hyunjin reaches for him and pulls Jisung to sit beside him. “I'm so sorry, Sung… Please calm down and tell me what's going on?”

“The dare, you idiot. I did your stupid dare!”

Understanding and a flash of regret click in Hyunjin's eyes. “...Ah.”

“Everything was fine. Now everything is.. I don't even know.” Jisung cries, pressing his hands into his eyes.

Hyunjin rubs his back soothingly. “Okay, shh, let's calm down first… So you did the dare? Can I ask who you did it with?”

Jisung sniffs as he tries to calm his breathing. “It was F-Felix.”

“Fe-lix?” Hyunjin repeats. “The kid from Australia?” Jisung nods. “Oh, Jisung…”

“I-It's your fault! You dared me, and then you were all like ‘I'll know if you don't do it’. What the hell!”

“God, I'm sorry Jisung. I wasn't thinking… I was just being dramatic, I'm not omniscient. How would I know if you did it or not?”

“I don't know, you just…”

Hyunjin sighs. “Okay, let's relax. First, did he hurt you? I'll kick his beautiful, angelic ass if he did anything to you.”

Jisung cracks a smile in spite of himself and shakes his head.

Hyunjin's face softens. “Then what happened..?”

“I… I don't know, he made me so… confused..”

One of Hyunjin's eyebrows lifts. “...He made you confused,” he deadpans.

“Like… like…” Jisung grips his hair. “God! I don't even know! Am I normal? I don't feel normal. I think something's wrong with me. I.. I don't understand what's happening.”

Hyunjin wipes the tears on his cheeks. “Why do you think something’s wrong with you?” he asks gently.

“Th-there's— I— I think I liked it too much,” Jisung whispers.

“You liked what? …touching Felix?”

Jisung cringes. “Y-Yes, which is so weird already, but then he— you don't understand, he also— touched m-me, and I liked it, so much, like— which is so weird— it scares the shit out of me— I a-asked him to kiss me, like, like a psychopath or something, he probably thought I was so creepy b-but he was so nice and so pretty and… I don't know what to do… Hyunjin I feel like I'm— like this isn't normal.”

Hyunjin just presses his lips together and nods, encouraging Jisung to continue.

“Like… like… he's a guy. Like yeah, he's objectively pretty but he's… he said to pretend he was a girl but I didn't, I don't think I even wanted to, but, like, I'm—I'm straight, right? I mean… I mean, yeah, it's not like I suddenly— I like girls! I know I like girls so why… like I shouldn't enjoy t-touching another guy right? That's…” Jisung shakes his head with wide, teary eyes. “I'm not like, gay.”

Hyunjin winces but he looks at him with something akin to pity. “Ouch dude, you know I'm gay, right? You're not… broken or anything, I promise this is normal Jisung.”

Jisung sighs into his hands. “Fuck. I know. God, I-I’m sorry, I didn't mean it like that… I just mean like.. there's no way I'm… like shouldn't I have known by now? I'm not, like a teenager anymore. I just.. I like… girls… it doesn't make sense, why is this happening now?” 

“It's okay, you can still like girls, you can like both. Even if you don't, that's still okay. Okay? It's not… there's not a predefined time when you realize this stuff. Some people live their whole lives in denial. This is normal. You're normal.”

Jisung nods. “R-Right, of course I can still like girls. So, maybe I'm like… bisexual or something? But honestly I've never—” He presses his fingers against his eyelids. “I mean, I don't think— but maybe? N-No I've never... But it's not like I see Felix as a girl, I mean, I touched his dick a-and he— his voice is like… crazy, I don't even know— B-But I've definitely never liked boys before so how would I suddenly—?”

Hyunjin rubs his shoulders. “It's okay. You don't have to figure it all out right now. Take your time. I'm here for you, okay?”

“I'm scared, Hyunjin,” he whispers.

Hyunjin's face breaks and he sighs. “I know. I'm sorry. I think I gave you that dare so you'd have an awakening or something but that was stupid. I didn't think… I hate seeing you like this.”

“Wha—... huh?? So you knew I'm maybe not super straight even before this?!”

Hyunjin bites his lip. “I didn't really know. I just had a feeling. And honestly, I wasn't expecting you to actually do it.”

Jisung's jaw drops, momentarily forgetting his anxiety. “You weren't expecting me to— Hyunjin! How could you think so low of me!”

“Okay, sorry! I shouldn't have dared you to do that knowing you'd be crazy enough to actually do it.” Jisung hits his arm. “It was more just to get you thinking about it!”

“You're crazy.”

“I'm smart. My gaydar is never wrong,” he taps the side of his head. “And I clocked you the day we met but you said you were straight... I was probably too tipsy earlier and figured I'd test you a little. That's all. I'm really sorry. I feel terrible for causing you this much stress.”

Jisung sighs. “It's okay. I just can't believe— how did you know? None of this makes sense…”

Hyunjin shrugs. “Like I said… I'm smart.” Jisung hits him again. “Okay, okay! But maybe this is good? Learning things about yourself?”

Jisung swallows. “Right… learning things…” he sighs. “I just—I screwed it up with him didn't I? I ran away. I just left him there.”

“You didn't screw it up. You're literally having a full blown identity crisis! He'll understand if you explain it to him.”

“But, what if he doesn't want to listen, or he already hates me, or… you should've seen his face when I left, oh god, I'm a horrible person—”

“Shh. Jisung. Do you like him?”

Jisung's face burns. “T-That's— I don't—”

“I mean, do you care about him? As a friend?”

“Of course,” Jisung pouts.

“Then you should talk to him. I wouldn't be surprised if he's still here. Just explain what happened, that you're going through a lot but you don't hate him. Right?”

Jisung nods. “Right, I—You're right. I don't want him to think that I find him gross or something, oh my god.”

“He's probably just confused too. Don't worry. Do you want me to come with you?”

“No, I… I think I'm okay now. Thanks though.” He stands up and touches his face. “D-Do I look like I've been crying?”

Hyunjin smiles sympathetically. “A little, but he'll understand. Go before he leaves!”

Jisung nods and runs for the door. He pauses there and turns around.

“Hyunjin?”

“Hm?”

“I'm sorry for yelling at you.”

He waves him off. “It's okay, I kind of deserved it I think. We're good, okay? Now, go!”

Jisung doesn't need to be told twice. He's out the door in seconds and practically sprinting his way back to the room he left Felix in.

“...God, it's so hard being right all of the time,” Hyunjin sighs.

—

Felix isn't there.

The room is empty. Felix isn't here.

Oh god. What if he already left and he's avoiding him and Jisung will never be able to talk to him and Felix will think he hates him and—

He takes a deep breath. He shouldn't jump to conclusions. He has Felix's number, he should just text him. He pulls out his phone.

He paces around the room as he waits for his phone to light up. After a few minutes of nothing he sends a couple more messages and sighs. Maybe Felix is still at the party somewhere? Should he look for him?

Yeah, he decides, he needs to talk to Felix and make sure he's okay. Make sure they're okay. He can't stand the thought that Felix might think he hates him. It couldn't be farther from the truth.

Jisung paces out of the room and begins scouring every room for the familiar head of blond hair. But he's nowhere to be seen. Jisung tries not to cry. He's just about to loop around to where he started when he's stopped by a hand on his shoulder. He jumps. Felix?

“Jisung? Are you okay?” No, of course it's not. Jisung turns to face the familiar voice. 

“Seungmin,” he breathes shakily.

Seungmin gently places both hands on Jisung's shoulders. “What happened? You look frantic. What's going on?”

That's it. Jisung breaks down in tears. Again. He hates crying in front of another one of his friends but he can't help himself right now.

Seungmin looks alarmed. “Did someone do something? Are you hurt?” Jisung shakes his head. Seungmin sighs in relief. Then, his eyebrows draw together. “Wait, does this have to do with that dare?” 

Jisung hesitates, before nodding. 

Seungmin exhales. “Okay, we're leaving, okay? You can tell me about it on the way home if you want. Or not, but I don't think this place is very conducive to your wellbeing right now.”

Jisung nods and lets Seungmin guide him through the halls and crowds until they're outside. And he's right. As soon as he steps out of the claustrophobic walls he feels like he can breathe easier again. He sighs and wipes the last of the tears off his face.

Seungmin lets go of his hand. “You feeling better?” he asks.

“Yeah. Thanks, I.. guess I needed to get out of there.”

Oh, right. He should text Felix and let him know he's leaving, just in case he really is still at the party somewhere. He pulls out his phone. Seungmin looks at him, a question clearly painted on his face, but he stays quiet.

Jisung sighs after hitting send and stuffs his phone in his pocket again. Seungmin looks at him searchingly. “What happened…?”

Jisung bites his lip. His immediate instinct is deflect, deflect, deflect, but he really should tell Seungmin. He deserves to know. Jisung explains the whole situation on the way back to their dorm, from the dare to his conversation with Felix, to his panic in the aftermath and talk with Hyunjin. Seungmin listens quietly, intently. Jisung leaves out the details of what actually happened with Felix, but it's hopefully enough for Seungmin to get the picture.

When Jisung finally finishes, Seungmin blows out a long puff of air, his cheeks puffing up. “Wow. I don't even… Damn. That's crazy.”

Jisung leans his head back and groans with his hands over his face. “I know. What do I even do now?”

“Flee the country.” Seungmin says matter of factly. Jisung huffs out a laugh. “Sorry. I'm shit at giving advice. But I know Felix. He doesn't seem like the type of person who wouldn't at least hear you out, you know? Don't stress too much.”

“Then why is he ignoring me??” Jisung frowns.

“There's so many possibilities, dude. He might be feeling equally as overwhelmed right now or his phone could be dead or he might just not have checked yet. It hasn't even been that long. Give him time.” Seungmin, ever the voice of reason.

“Yeah… yeah, you're right. I'm just—I don't know. I don't even know.”

“I'm always right.” Seungmin, ever the voice of arrogance. “It'll be fine, Jisung.”

“Okay… Just know, if you're wrong I will come crying to you.”

Seungmin's lips curl up. “I'm always right. But okay, sure.” He pauses. “Honestly, I'm surprised you even did the dare, I even gave you an easy escape and everything.”

Jisung lets out a loud sigh. “I don't even know, man. Maybe a part of me, like, wanted to… I'm so confused about everything to be honest.”

Seungmin hums. “This is kind of life altering shit you're going through. You're handling it pretty well, all things considered.”

Jisung's looks at him, lips forming an ‘o’. “You think?”

He nods, “I think I'd have broken down or something by now if it were me.”

“I'm—well, I'm trying not to. I guess I went through most of the whole breakdown freakout thing with Hyunjin. I'm just trying not to think about it too hard right now I guess.”

“That's fair. Don't rush it. Uh, and I'm here if you ever wanna... talk or whatever,” Seungmin waves his hand around.

Jisung smiles. “Thanks, Min. Seriously.”

“Yeah, yeah…” he says but he mirrors his smile.

—

The next morning, Jisung wakes up feeling more refreshed than he expected. He doesn't feel great, but at least he doesn't feel like his whole life and everything he thought he knew about himself is turning upside down like yesterday. That's something.

As much as he was glued to his phone last night, waiting for a message from Felix, he doesn't want to check his phone right now, scared of what he might (or might not) see. Everything feels more real now, outside of the illusionary haze of last night, and he's just not ready to face anything yet.

Instead, he busies himself with mindless tasks, like brushing his teeth and pouring a bowl of his favorite hangover cereal. He's not even hungover, he didn't drink that much, but he just needs that extra emotional support right now. It helps, he thinks.

Eventually, he has to face reality. His phone looms at him from his bedside table, facedown but glaring at him. Jisung sighs and reluctantly picks it up. 

He cringes a little when he sees the multiple notifications from his messenger app. There's a text from Seungmin saying he's out studying with a friend but to let him know if he needs anything. Studying the morning after a party? Nerd. But Jisung smiles at the kind gesture and types out a quick reply saying thanks but he'll be fine.

And.. there's a little number by Felix's contact name too. He doesn't even want to open it. He wants to crawl back into bed and hide for the rest of the day. He wishes this had all happened yesterday when he was still in the moment and running on adrenaline.

But this is a good thing! Felix isn't ignoring him. This is good. Jisung takes a deep breath and clicks into the message.

He breathes out slowly. Okay.. Felix doesn't seem angry? He wants to meet up at least. Or what if he's just waiting until they're in person to unleash everything and tell Jisung to never talk to him again? God, he can't tell.

He doesn't want to respond. Okay, no, he needs to respond. He's the one who texted first anyway. Fuck, this is scary though.

He takes another deep breath to steady himself before carefully typing out a reply.

Jisung's heart races when Felix's reply comes in within only a couple minutes. Thank god Felix doesn't seem creeped out at coming over. Jisung quickly agrees to the time and texts Felix his dorm and room number.

Then he waits. After sufficiently freaking out for an hour, stress cleaning and everything, Jisung hears a knock at the front door. Oh fuck. He's so not ready.

Regardless, he trudges over to the door. He takes a deep breath before unlocking and opening the door. 

Felix is standing there, bundled up for the chilly weather in a jacket but also sporting a pair of loose ripped jeans, which Jisung thinks is pretty contradictory. How are you gonna put so many layers on and then just have holes in your pants? How does that make sense? One hole above the knee is large enough that Jisung can literally see the outline of Felix's thigh. 

“Um… hi…” Jisung's eyes snap up. Wait, what was he even doing just now? He wasn't like… checking Felix out or something, right? No, that's absurd. Felix's torn up pants are absurd, and that's all he was thinking. About his pants. His jeans. 

“Hi,” Jisung replies awkwardly. Why is this so awkward? They haven't even said anything yet. God. “Sorry, um, come in?” He gestures and holds the door open.

Felix murmurs a soft “thanks” as he cautiously steps inside and looks around a bit.

“Um, thanks for coming…” Jisung starts. “Seungmin— my roommate isn't here right now. But we can go to my room if you want?”

Felix's eyes suddenly light up. “Seungmin? Kim Seungmin? Tall, funny, braces?”

Jisung blinks. “Yeah, what? You know him? Wait, you think he's funny?” He wrinkles his nose.

“Yeah! Well, maybe at my own expense… We're partners in this cooking class I'm taking.”

Jisung starts walking and leads Felix in the direction of his room as his eyebrows furrow. “A cooking—? No way. Seungmin can't cook.” 

Felix giggles. “Oh, I know. I swear it's actually contagious or something because suddenly I start forgetting basic things like how to use a mixer just by being near him. I think it's a curse.”

Jisung laughs, eternally grateful for the lighthearted shift in the atmosphere, the tense and awkward air dissipating. Talking with Felix is just like that, so easy. “Yeah, I keep him out of our kitchen for his own good. I had no idea he was taking a cooking class though, what the hell?”

Felix hums. “Maybe he's trying to improve?”

“Or he's just trying to cause chaos. And from what you said, it seems like it's working.” Jisung shakes his head as they step into his room.

“Maybe…” Felix mumbles, but his focus has shifted elsewhere. He takes in Jisung's room, seeming to observe every visible corner: anime posters on the wall and an acoustic guitar in the corner and the stuffed animals on his bed. Jisung blushes, suddenly grateful for his stress-induced tidying of every nook and cranny. He hadn't realized how intimate it can be letting someone new into his space like this. This is Felix's first time in his room.

Felix. In his room. Why does it feel weird? 

It doesn't, does it? Jisung is the only one making it weird. It's not weird for friends to hang out in each other's rooms. That's literally extremely normal. But still… Jisung usually waits until he's way closer with people before letting them in his room. He can't place the anxious feeling swirling in his gut.

“I like your room,” Felix says softly. “It's like how I imagined.”

“W-What does that mean??”

“It's a compliment! It's very you.”

“Okay well… thanks,” Jisung mumbles. Has Felix really imagined his room before? How close are they that Felix knows enough about Jisung to think it's very him? He pushes the thoughts aside. 

“So…” He sighs. Here comes the awkward again. But he can't avoid this forever. “Can we talk?” 

Felix nods. “…‘Course,” he says, leaning against the bed slightly. Jisung motions for him to sit down on it and follows suit, since there isn't much else seating in his room. “If you want to!” he stutters out but Felix just smiles and sits down on the bed. On Jisung's bed. Okay, cool, this is fine.

They face each other. “So….” Jisung starts, looking down at his hands in his lap. “I just wanted to apologize. I mean, I feel like we were acting pretty normal just now, and I'm really grateful for that, but you still deserve like, I don't know, an explanation? Or something? So yeah.”

Felix nods silently.

Jisung takes that as his cue to continue. “Right, so, yesterday, it was a dare, right? That wasn't a lie. Me and Hyunjin actually like, talked about it afterwards and we're cool by the way. Just in case you thought—well, I don't know. I don't know what I'm saying. Um…” He takes a deep breath. “I mean, you were really nice about the whole thing and then I just left… kind of suddenly. That was really mean. I… I mean, you looked hurt too. Which, like, fair. That was a dick move. Um…”

Felix's voice is gentle, “Okay, hey, I get it, I'm not actually mad—”

Jisung finally looks up. “But you should be. Y-You're not mad? I would be mad. I mean, maybe not mad but confused? Frustrated? I— I kind of feel like it came across like I was… using you or something. I don't know. But that's not… Honestly I'm just really confused right now because—”

“Stop.”

Jisung blinks. “What?”

“Stop, I… I want to apologize too.”

“For what?!”

“For agreeing to it! I shouldn't have cus I…” He shakes his head. “And I kind of pushed you to tell me about the dare. You didn't seem comfortable. And I definitely should've stopped when you said you're straight... I-I was selfish.”

“Selfish?” Jisung repeats. “What?”

Felix sighs. “I agreed cus I was being selfish… Just, selfish reasons. I shouldn't have.”

“What does that even…? Dude, you're not selfish, if anyone is it's me for basically roping you into doing that for me and then leaving you high and dry like…”

Felix shakes his head. “That's not… you don't get it. I am selfish. Even being here right now… Selfish. Stupid.”

Jisung can't even begin to comprehend how that makes sense. “What…?”

“Jisung… Fuck, fine — I-I like you.”

“You like me?” Jisung mimics.

“…Yeah.”

Then it clicks. “Wait, oh. You like… like, like me?”

“...Well, that's good. I was worried it was super obvious for no reason.”

Jisungs mouth must be hanging open. “I... Are you serious?”

Felix laughs nervously. “Does it seem like I'm joking?”

“N-No but… I don't know. Oh my god. Shut up, I'm freaking out.”

“I'm sorry, I shouldn't have said anything, I know you're straight—”

“That's the thing. I'm not— Just, just, wait a second, oh my god. Oh my god.”

“Jisung…” Felix bites his lip. “I'm sorry, we can just pretend I never said that and go back to normal, please, I promise.”

Jisung puts his hands over his face. “No, shut up… shut up, just wait a second, please. Please just wait.”

Jisung can't see him but Felix at least goes quiet and Jisung can think. He breathes for a few seconds. In and out. In and out.

“…I think I like you too. Like, like like you… so much. Like way more than just bros. But I don't know what that fucking means.”

Jisung's heart is beating out of his chest. He hears a catch of breath. Silence. Then a soft whispered, “What do you mean Jisung, are you sure?”

“Yes, I mean, no, but— I feel something, and this isn't normal, so—”

He feels gentle fingers pulling at his wrists. “Jisung, look at me.” He lets Felix pull his hands down off of his face, which he's sure must be burning red. “It's okay. I don't want you to like… pity me or something. I'm really okay even if you don't like me like that.”

Jisung shakes his head. “N-No, I'm not pitying you Felix, I swear. I really, really—” He swallows. “Even like, your hands just on my wrists right now, making me feel like— I- I don't know,” he breathes.

Felix immediately drops his wrists. “I'm sorry,” he says genuinely.

But that's not what Jisung wanted. “No! I liked it.” He reaches for Felix's hands and interlaces his fingers in his, immediately setting off butterflies in his stomach. “I like this..”

Felix swallows and squeezes his hand a little. “But anyone can like holding hands with anyone, that doesn't mean—”

“But it's not just that. We— Felix, we kissed. I… asked you to kiss me. Did you forget that? And we did… m-more obviously. I liked it.” The more Jisung tries to explain to Felix the more he feels like he's understanding and accepting his own feelings. “That's why I ran away. I was so… confused and.. and scared I guess, cus.. I've never felt… with a guy.”

“I didn't forget,” Felix whispers. “I believe you. I know it's scary. I-I went through it too. Just— Are you sure? I really… I don't wanna get my hopes up if…”

“Can I kiss you?” Jisung blurts out. “Then I'll be sure. I… You can definitely say no.”

Felix closes his eyes and looks to be in some kind of mental anguish for a few seconds. “Yes, okay…” he breathes.

Jisung squeezes the other's hand, still interlaced with his own. He leans in a little. “A-Are you sure?” he asks quietly.

“Yes, yes, please…” Felix says under his breath while leaning in a little as well. That's all Jisung needs before he's closing his eyes and swooping in to close the distance between them. 

It's like magic. Right at the moment their lips press Jisung has his answer. His stomach flips and it feels so different from last night where he was letting Felix have control. He keeps it going for a little longer, not really moving his lips but just pressing into the kiss for a few more seconds, relishing in the way it feels.

When he finally pulls away, Felix's eyes are closed, forehead drawn in as if he's the one going through a crisis right now. 

“Felix?”

“What? Please don't say you were wrong. I mean… I mean, of course that's fine but—”

“Felix. I liked it… Oh wait, so I actually like you? Oh my god—”

Felix's eyes fly open. “You really…? You're serious?”

Jisung nods, eyes equally as wide as his.

“Are you sure? Yesterday I can get over, but this feels too real. I don't think I can handle if— I mean, god, sorry, I know you're figuring things out but—”

“Yes. Well, I— I'm still confused about other things but… I'm pretty sure—I mean this feels pretty much exactly like when I have a crush on a girl. So..?” 

“Okay. Okay, sorry. It's not that I don't believe you, I just—I really wasn't prepared for this. But I get it, really.” He takes a deep breath in and out. “So you… you really like me? Really, really?”

Jisung nods shyly. “Um.. really, really. I think more than I realized.”

Felix blushes. “Right, so… I mean, I don't want to be too forward but..? And maybe you're not ready and that's totally okay. But do you wanna..? I mean if we both like each other then… doesn't it make sense if we…”

Jisung squeezes his hand encouragingly. “What are you trying to say?”

“I'm saying—and again, you can say no if this is too fast—but I'm saying… Do you want to… try being my boyfriend…?” He peeks up at Jisung nervously.

Jisung's heart stutters in his chest. He doesn't really have to think about his answer. Even if his brain is telling him it's a little scary, his heart is giving him an answer clear as day. “Yes, y-yes, I want that… to be your… boyfriend.”

Felix flashes a shy, relieved smile. “Yeah?”

“Y-Yeah. Oh my god, a boyfriend. You're my boyfriend? I have a boyfriend?” Jisung presses his hands against the sides of his face, squishing his cheeks.

Felix giggles a little. “Mhm, that's okay right? It feels okay?”

“Yes, I like it, it's a little weird but I really like how that sounds. A boyfriend. My boyfriend.”

Felix blushes. “Ah, stop saying it like that, it's embarrassing…”

Jisung shakes his head. “Can I kiss you again?”

Felix smiles and responds in the form of crashing their lips together. Jisung gasps. It's more intense than the one they previously shared but still very sweet and gentle. Felix's lips are so soft.

Jisung tilts his head to deepen the kiss. “I like you so much,” he mumbles against Felix's mouth between kisses. “Maybe for a while… I always… wanted you to like me… tried to impress you…”

Felix makes a quiet sound and suddenly Jisung feels wetness on his cheeks. “Are you…? Felix?” Jisung pulls away, and sure enough, there are tears pooling under Felix's eyes. Jisung looks at him with concern. “What's wrong?”

Felix ducks his head but smiles, and it's enough to quell Jisung's worries that he did something wrong. “S-Sorry—God, this is embarrassing. I-I don't know why I'm crying. I'm really happy, I promise.”

“Okay. Don't worry about it.” Jisung gently grabs Felix's face and wipes the tears from his cheeks. As he presses the skin below his eyes, an array of tiny dots start appearing, speckling his face. Jisung furrows his eyebrows. “Huh—? Do you have freckles..?”

The skin under his fingers turns pink and Felix squirms his head out of his grasp. “Nooo…”

Jisung gently grabs his face again. “No, let me see, please.” He swipes his thumbs along the other's cheeks, smudging more makeup away.

Felix sighs and seems to relent. “I don't like them…” he mutters.

Jisung is appalled. “Are you serious? Why not?”

Felix shrugs. “I dunno, just looks.. messy? And no one else here has them,” he says with a frown.

Jisung shakes his head. “They're so pretty. You're so pretty. How could you hide these? God, it's like everything little thing about you is so pretty, how is that even possible??”

“Stoooop,” Felix giggles, blushing bright red now. “They're not.. I'm not…”

“You are. You literally turned me gay or something,” he jokes. “That has to count for something.”

Felix laughs, but then his expression turns more serious. “Did I really—? I mean, you think you're gay?”

“Uh—No, I just said that. I don't know. I'm still so fucking confused,” Jisung tries to laugh it off nervously.

Felix nods. “If you wanna talk about it… no pressure of course, but I kind of went through something similar so… just, I'm here for you.”

“Thank you,” Jisung whispers. “Well, I-I think I've been trying not to think about it too much. It's scary,” he admits.

“I know. You're really brave, you know Jisung? It took me like, months—years even?—before I understood and accepted myself.”

“Yeah, but I'm sure that was years ago, right? Why is this happening to me now? Like… I've always liked girls. I don't think that's… yeah, I definitely still like girls. That's all fine. But I've literally never liked boys until now?” Jisung sighs. “Well—maybe—maybe not. I've been thinking, and like, I guess there were guys that I… really admired and… I really wanted them to like me too. To think I'm cool or funny or something. And like, yeah, I felt nervous around them, but I just kind of thought they were intimidating. But maybe…? Is that..? Were those crushes?”

Felix grabs his hand and squeezes it gently. “Maybe. It kind of sounds like it.” He pauses. “Even if they weren't, and I'm the first guy you like, that's okay too. Honestly, that would be hella flattering,” he smiles. “I don't think sexuality is like... It isn't such a rigid thing. It can be more fluid for some people, you know? It's not just black and white. If your feelings are real then that's all that matters, yeah?”

“Y-Yeah. It's just weird. I'm like so past that stage. Why didn't teenage me figure this out?” He huffs out a laugh.

“There's no set timeline for this stuff. It happens differently for everyone, right? And if you don't want to think about it right now you don't have to. You can just like whoever feels natural for you. No need to think about what box you fit into or anything like that.”

“I think I just like you,” Jisung whispers.

Felix's lips quirk up. “Yeah? That's so cute.”

Jisung is sure his face goes red. “Sh-shut up…”

“Never,” Felix grins. “No, but it's okay. You don't have to label yourself, now or ever. You don't have to be gay, or straight, or bi, or... or anything in between. You can just… be, and that's enough.”

Jisung feels tears prick his eyes. He really has no clue why he's getting emotional over this, but somehow Felix is saying exactly what he didn't know he needed to hear. “Okay, but what about Felixsexual?” He jokes.

“Pfft— then I'm Jisungsexual, okay?”

Jisung's heart feels lighter than it's ever been. He giggles. “Okay.”

—

After calming down, and both their tears are wiped away, the two of them spend a couple hours just talking and cuddling, making up for what feels like so much lost time. Seriously, why didn't they become closer friends sooner? Jisung mentally kicks himself for not being more proactive in befriending him. They click so well. Jisung is so glad Felix seems to love skinship as much as he does, they both initiate it easily and it just instantly feels natural. So easy, just like everything between them.

Eventually, they move to the living room to watch something. After only just a few minutes of scrolling through Netflix, the front door opens. Jisung looks up.

“Oh, hey Seungmin. How was your study sesh?”

“Hey. Uh, fine. Is this a bad time…?” Seungmin asks, glancing at Felix and looking at Jisung curiously.

“No, it's a great time. Seungmin, say hi to my, uh, boyfriend..?” Jisung falters saying that to someone else for the first time and it comes out like a question.

Seungmin doesn't seem to notice, or if he does, he doesn't care. “Oh, so you worked it out? I'm glad. Congrats.” He turns to Felix. “I'm Seungmin.”

Felix laughs. “Dude, I'm insulted. I thought we were mates? Does being stove partners mean nothing to people these days?”

Seungmin cracks a smile. “I don't know what you're talking about.”

Jisung jumps up in his seat. “Oh yeah! Seungmin, you're taking a freaking cooking class? Who are you??”

Seungmin shrugs. “I had extra space in my schedule.”

Felix sighs. “I wish I had extra space. I would take another class with Jisung.”

“Aww, what?” Jisung looks at him fondly.

“Seriously. Why do we only have one class together? How am I gonna handle that now that we're together?”

Jisung giggles. “If you had extra time wouldn't it be better to just spend time together and not take an extra class, silly?”

“Oh yeah, I guess. Are you sure you'd be okay with that Sungie?” Felix grins and nuzzles his head into Jisung's shoulder, cuddling into him playfully.

Sungie? Oh, Jisung's done for. He giggles again and kicks his feet (like a fucking schoolgirl or something, embarassing). “Only if you promise to binge watch my favorite animes. And make cookies with me!”

Seungmin makes a gagging sound. “...Ugh, I take back everything I said. You two together are more energy than I can reasonably tolerate. Goodbye.” He throws his hand up in a wave and starts walking to his room. He pauses in his doorway and turns around. “Oh and please for the love of god, no funny business when I'm here. I'm happy for you but not that happy.” 

Jisung turns red and he hears Felix choke on air. “Seungmin!” 

“What? You already did stuff and you weren't even dating yet. I can't trust you guys.”

Jisung throws a cushion at him. “Didn't you say bye already? Bye!!”

Seungmin rolls his eyes and throws up a peace sign before turning around and closing his door.

Jisung glances at Felix, who's equally as red-faced. They stare at each other for a few seconds before both breaking out into giggles.

Yeah, Jisung thinks he'll be alright.

—

[4 weeks later]

—

—

a/n: take a shot every time you see the word 'like' (u will die). if u made it this far THANK U SOOO MUCH FOR READING WOW! this is my first fic and it's very dear to my heart.. i'm nervous about posting it asdajfjk. any feedback would be super super appreciated! i'd love to hear your thoughts (^o^) idk how active i'll be here but i've been in a writing mood recently so keep an eye out maybe? again tysm for reading!! ♡

[cosmicstarlatte]

Your blog and headcanons are living in my brain since i got here, and i just want to say, thank you, i love your work 💕 also, i saw this in other posts (i was in the monster fucker side and end up in the lover side, but im not complaining) about demon relantionship dynamics and i have a question, who of the demons do you think would use an accesory made of something of MC?

TW: blood and hair being used as accesory, demon dynamic being a little disturbing.

Like imagine if with magic MC (safelly) could make jewells with their blood, or in a more victorian way, maybe a bracelet with a lock of their hair. In my mind there would be Satan and Barbatos who have the jewellry always on them but are discret, and then there is Mammon and Asmo who show whatever MC gave them with pride.

Thank you so much anon!!!♡ It's messages like these that keep me motivated, I'm honored!!! 🥰 I hope you don't mind I changed it to just items with blood 😎 I was gonna keep this short originally but ended up getting carried away. This was seriously SO fun to write! I rly think they all would!

Giving Them An Item With Your Blood (Obey Me!)

Tags: Blood, Fluff, Demon Bros, Barb, Dia, GN!Reader, HCs

Lucifer: "Hm? It's from ___."

If someone happens to catch a rare glance at it & are curious enough to ask, he has no problem proudly answering he got the bloody vial necklace from you. He's not shy or ashamed about it, but prefers to keep it between you & him. It usually stays well hidden behind his high collared shirts. Sometimes when he's at home in his office & shirt unbuttoned, he will fidget around with it while doing paperwork. He loves it but won't ever tell you or anyone else how very attached to it he is. ♡

Mammon: "This one!? Not up for betting, scram!"

When isn't Mammon flashy??? The day you gave him the ring filled with some of your blood was basically the day you got married (in his mind) & he went around showing everyone. Of course some of his buddies asked if he'd bet it for a chance at clearing his debt but even that's one bet Mammon refused. He has a ritual of kissing his ring everyday, he thinks of it as his good luck charm even when he's actually having a bad day. He makes you kiss it to add extra luck (love) to it too. ♡

Levi: "I will guard this with my life."

Let's be honest, he doesn't care what it is & would wear/take whatever you give him. Your hairbrush? He will cuddle it.

When you presented him a blood vial bracelet, he got all teary eyed & nearly fainted from excitement. It easily became his most prized possession, he takes such good care of it. He wears it openly & you can see him fidget around with it when he gets anxious. Sometimes he will lightly rub or hold it against his cheek, calming him down when he's overwhelmed. ♡

Satan: "That's what you get for touching things that aren't yours."

His smile was radiant, blinding. Satan's gift is unique just like him & he appreciates the thoughtfulness of a handmade blood infused bookmark. It's one he takes care of & makes sure it doesn't get lost in the mess of his room. He did curse it (you'll get a hand burn) so no one else can touch it except you & him. From time to time he gets distracted by it when reading. He wants to ask if you'll attach a blood charm to the end of it too. ♡

Asmo: "My outfit isn't complete until I put this on!"

He squealed, cried, & wouldn't let you go for the entire day after gifting him the little box of jewelry. He went on to rub it in everyone's faces & showed it off on all his socials. The main gift was a gorgeous charm, the blood swirled, glittering inside. You made sure he could pop the charm into the ring, necklace, or bracelet you also gave him in the box. He was impressed you went to such lengths just so he could always choose how to wear it each day. Even if it was a single piece though, he would've worn it no matter what, even if it "clashed" with his outfit. ♡

Beel & Belphie: "We promise to never take it off." "You promise too ___!"

The twins immediately pulled you into bed & cuddled with you, happily accepting their gifts. You gave each a pendant, a sun for Beel & a moon for Belphie, the middle of each pendant holding your precious red liquid. You even got a star pendant for yourself to match with them although your pendant remained empty; something they noticed quickly. They happily offered up their own blood; they never minded sharing as long as it's with you. ♡♡

Barbatos: "I'm...at a loss for words, thank you."

He kissed your cheek before turning his attention to the golden pocket watch you gave him. He handled it delicately, admiring the ancient designs etched onto it before opening it. It was a gorgeous watch, one of the inner side walls swirled beautifully with your blood. He enjoyed the hidden surprise inside for his eyes only. Truly, he was moved by your gift & made a mental note to give you something in return. ♡

Diavolo: "An absolute treasure this is."

He gave you a tight hug, nearly cutting your air supply off. He's received many gifts throughout the years but the custom pen you gave him was now at the top of the list. Only a see-through compartment of the pen held your blood, floating around. The actual ink inside the pen was regular but refillable for permanent use. He found himself smiling a little more even when filling out the piles of paperwork on his desk. It also finally fixed his habit of losing pens, making sure he always has it on him for quick signing (& Barbatos thanks you for it). ♡

Also I like to think that if they really miss you, they'll hold their object close to their nose to get a whiff of your scent ♡ alakskfgllsskfkg

⬦You might also like: Coffee Shop︱Two A.M.︱Pick-Me-Up

[tiredfox64]

Hi how was your day? Or night I just want to ask if you still take request 😅 if you don't then you can ignore me and if you still take then I have an idea for you 😆 after I read your hijab reader I immediately fall in love with your writing 😍 the way you write makes me feel like I'm the one in the story and I really really really really LOVE IT!!!!! and today I just came back from the hospital because of the breathing problems and stuff I had to stay for a week in hospital 🥲 I swear staying in hospital drive me crazy 😭 no privacy and syringe needles and medicines are scary! So... Maybe maybe... Can you write something makes me feel a little better?

(Please 🥺)

So the idea lin kuei bros and Earthrealm champions with the reader ... Can you make it female reader? Like the reader loves to dance in her room when she's alone and wearing the boys over sized clothes? And yeah like her boobies juggles bom bom yk yk 😇 Yeah like dancing like crazy or beautifully or anything you want with any song but I think international love from Pitbull will be better and it's okay if you want to change the song you know 😆 and the boys would be walking in her room while she was dancing alone crazy and enjoy herself to ask something or wanted something with her and they like ".......damn!" You know, you can do the reason anything you want you can make the reader not notice them or she did is really up to you ❤

And thank you if you did this for me 🥺 you might don't believe that but I love doing it enjoying myself alone in my room wearing big shirt and dancing like crazy to let out all stress and enjoying myself 😂 and sometimes my mother would caught me and I'm be really embarrassed 😂 even though I'm Muslim I still have a rocking star spirit you know I can't live my life without songs and music 😆 even though my life is s*itty but I'll always find a way to forget it and enjoy my life ❤

The same about you lovely I wish that you do just like me enjoying your life every day also make sure to take care of yourself drink water and sleep well don't be like me believe me staying in hospital isn't fun 🥲

And thank you again you can ignore it if you don't like it I won't be mad 😊 I understand that writing a stuff not easy Thank you ❤🌹

(Damn I talk like grandma 😂)

Swing Your Feet

Prior notes: I hope you are doing better! Hospitals really suck. I used to scream when they tried to use needles. Hopefully my writing can make you feel a little better.

Pairing: Lin Kuei Bros & Earthrealm Champions x Afab reader

Warnings ‼️: Can you handle the beat?

There’s a sneaky weasel that has been stealing some clothes from some important people. Important people that are in the Lin Kuei and who are Earthrealm’s champions. Would you by any chance know where they could have gone?

Of course you do, you’re the weasel. A weasel who is blaring music in her room, spinning wildly like a tornado of rhythm. The boys on the other floor are forced to hear your music blaring while they play a game of Uno. You sure do have a mix of interesting music.

Johnny decided a nice way to get close with everyone was to play a nice game of Uno. Uno is never nice what was he thinking.

He invited the brothers to come to the Wu Shi academy to play as well. Tomas was the only one willing to play so Kuai Liang had to drag Bi-Han over. Oh hell, Kuai Liang decided to play as well. Not Bi-Han. Bi-Han and Uno don’t go together.

Round after round it was getting even more unhinged. Lots of yelling and accusations of cheating. You never heard it. You were too occupied with the blaring music and move your feet to match the beat.

“Ah dang it, Tomas! How do you keep beating us.” Johnny complained.

Tomas had this smug grin on his face. He was just lucky tonight. Or he was cheating. We’ll never know.

Johnny was done. Game over. He was about to pull down his sunglasses since he didn’t need to prevent anyone from cheating, only to feel that his sunglasses were gone. Not again. He looked around him and could not find his sunglasses.

“Come on! How did this happen again?” He yelled in annoyance.

“Another piece of our clothes has gone missing again.” Kung Lao said in defeat.

“Wait, your clothes have been stolen as well?” Kuai Liang asked.

Everyone looked at him in shock. So they too have been missing clothes at random. Not just accessories but full on outfits.

Kung Lao’s hoodie, Raiden’s shirts, button-ups from Johnny and Kenshi, and uniforms from Kuai Liang, Tomas, and Bi-Han. This is not a coincidence. This is suspicious. The only person who hasn’t gotten their clothes stolen is you.

“Alright,” Johnny slapped his hand against the table, “Start placing bets on what might be going on. Kenshi, go!”

“I think it’s you since you stole Sento and still won’t give it back.” He responded passive aggressively.

“Alright I’m not taking you seriously. Raiden, what do you think it is?”

“Uhh…a rat.”

“A rat is stealing our clothes?” Johnny questioned.

“A big rat. The kind that you told us about that challenge people in New York and Chicago.” A good guess Raiden, but no New York rat is gonna bother stealing clothes. They steal pizza and wallets.

“I think it’s someone with invisibility powers.” Kung Lao jumped in.

“That’s seems more reasonable. What else are we thinking?”

“Maybe it is the one who is blaring music in her room.” Bi-Han spoke up.

“What makes you think it’s her.” Kuai Liang asked.

“Because I watched her come out quickly and take his sunglasses before running back to her room.”

These fools were so focused on their game of Uno that they never noticed you coming out and sliding Johnny’s glasses right off his head. Bi-Han was the only one who caught you since he wasn’t playing. He didn’t care enough that you were taking them, he doesn’t even wanna be here.

Bi-Han and Johnny were left bickering about how he never said a thing while everyone else was contemplating about confronting you. You had no ill intent that’s for sure. It’s just nice wearing their clothes. It’s a girl thing.

“She’ll have to give our clothes back eventually. We don’t know what she is doing with them anyways.” Tomas chimed in.

That settles it. They decided to confront you on your actions. What you were doing with their clothes is a mystery to them. Maybe if they know what you are doing with them they will let you keep it.

They make their way to your room. The closer they get the louder the music is. Some of them could even feel the vibrations below their feet and in their hearts. The music you were playing all night was all over the place. Yet you still managed to move your hips and stomp your feet. You were groovin and movin. Some of them approved of the music, some were unsure of this was their type. Whatever floats your boat.

Johnny first tried knocking on your door, no answer. He knocked harder, no answer again. He sighed before trying the handle. You left your door unlocked by accident. He started opening to door.

“Hey, so quick question. Would you by any chance know where—OH!”

All their eyes fell upon you. There you were, jumping around on your bed with Johnny’s button-up shirt. The sleeves were long enough to cover your hands, making the excess material wave around as you moved. Your chest pressed against tightly against his chest. The buttons were putting up a fight as they tried to keep your chest from bursting out. They were jiggling as you pranced around. You had not a single clue that the boys were staring at you. The music was just too loud you never even heard Johnny speak.

It’s probably better that you don’t know. You know what they say: dance like no one’s watching.

The boys just stared in awe, even Bi-Han. If the shirt wasn’t a big clue or even that you are wearing Johnny’s glasses, all their clothes were scattered around your room. Every shirt, belt, and accessories that you scavenged was all over the place. You might have had a little fashion show before deciding to dance in Johnny’s clothes.

I won’t tell.

Your movements were enchanting them. Movements that were fluid and matched the rhythm well. Have you ever thought about being a background dancer? You would do well.

You must do this all the time considering you weren’t slipping up. You weren’t bumping into any furniture or tripping over your own feet. It’s natural to you. You’re having fun. And so are the boys I guarantee.

“Damn-“ Johnny was about to say more but all of them quickly covered his mouth.

They didn’t want you to know they were watching. You were in your natural state they must let you be. The music was about to end soon meaning you might finally realize they are there. No, no, they can’t have that. They slowly crept out of your room before closing the door quietly. It was as if they were never there.

There was a silence between them all. They have this information, what will they do with it? Nothing. They won’t change a thing. So what if you steal their clothes. You seemed to be putting it to good use.

“Tomas,” Bi-Han broke the silence, “do you wish to return for another round of that ridiculous card game? Perhaps next week.”

Tomas immediately nodded his head and so did Kuai Liang. They will be using Uno as their excuse for why they are coming around so often.

“I suggest we make it a weekly thing.“ Raiden knows you do this every week.

“I bet she will wear my hoodie next.” Kung Lao said with a goofy smile on his face.

“I see we are betting again. Fine, we’ll make this a weekly game night with some betting.” Kenshi was in for it.

“And then a show at the end.” Johnny was rubbing his hands like a malicious fly just thinking about it.

So it was settled. It’s like when men start digging holes at beaches it’s a mutual agreement no matter what. The brothers left peacefully while the champions got ready for bed.

And you had no idea that they had caught you red handed. And you won’t for a while.

I certainly won’t snitch for either side. You’ll know when you’ll know. But when you do, keep dancing. It’s the best thing to do in life.

After notes: I know you said one song but there were many options I could have used so I put them all in. Think of it as the music playing and changing as you continue to dance. They were also what I was listening to so don’t mind. I hope you can enjoy and yes I will try to take care of myself. I try my best to enjoy life and on days like this it can feel pretty easy. I hope you have a wonderful life. Adiós!

[piratefalls]

welcome back to the latest edition of biweekly fic recs! as always, mind the tags, if you can't leave a nice comment don't leave one at all, and happy reading!

masterlist.

There's No Problem That San Diego Can't Solve by @historicallysam

Alex doesn’t even bother knocking; he simply twists the knob on the door and shoves it open. His eyes narrow as the door bangs against the wall and he sees Henry on the phone. Maybe (definitely) it’s rude but his blood is fucking boiling so he doesn’t really care.

All the Ocean was Sleeping by @sparklepocalypse

The worst part about being a siren in the modern era, Henry ponders as yet another ship flies past his cove at a speed that he knows will disturb the anemone gardens below, is the yacht bros. Between the sound of their vessels’ motors and the dissonant noise the humans call music, Henry’s singing has no chance of attracting anyone’s attention.

cause you're a classic, and i'm reckless by @firenati0n

“I've, actually, uh. I've never done this before.” At this, Henry stops short, takes a second as his gaze moves up and to the left, trying to recall something. “I've seen your films. You most certainly have done intimate scenes.” Alex clears his throat. He hopes his nerves aren't completely obvious, the slight waver in his voice about to give him away. “Yeah, well. Never with a man, so. Not at this scale, anyway.” “Would it help to, er, practice?" Henry winces a little as he says it, which does not inspire confidence. But Alex is shocked nonetheless. What the fuck?

Over Land and Sea by SatinBirds

Alex and Henry come from very different worlds, and still, they manage to find each other.

Clean Slate by smc_27

“Henry.” Pez comes over, puts both hands on Henry’s cheeks and looks him dead in the eye. “You are not a sad man who’s gotten dumped. You’re in the prime of your life, and I quite desperately need you to act like it.” “The prime of my life,” Henry scoffs, more incredulous than questioning. “I’ve just gotten out of a 15 year relationship, endured a divorce, am suffering an almost impressive case of writer’s block, and your hands are like bloody icicles.” Pez grins, doesn’t take his hands away. “Explain to me how this is my prime. Please.” Pez tilts his head, and sounds entirely serious when he says, “Literally anything can happen from here.”

in bloom by stutteringpeach

Yoo, can u hook me up with some flowers?? It's the busiest day of the year for florists. Alex texts Henry with a last minute request.

here is a map (with your name for a capital) by @alasse9

That day at the Rio de Janeiro Olympics, Alex comes across the very same Prince Henry who just dismissed him having a panic attack in a bathroom. The choice Alex makes then has ripple effects neither of them could have ever expected. What's the story like, when they actually are friends all along? “So, you’re going back to England tonight, and you’ll spend the next three days pretending you two are the closest and best of friends until we can put this mess behind us.” And there are reasons he hasn’t told anybody this, good reasons, even though he’s sure June and Nora saw through him ages ago. Faced with his mom’s disappointment, though, and with the realization that the entire world apparently thinks he hates Henry and would willingly shove him into a fucking cake, he can’t stay quiet. “But we are friends,” he says, vehement and serious. “We have been for years. He’s—he’s probably my best friend, actually, along with Nora.”

thoughts of you consume by yrsonpurpose

Henry sees Alex appear on the red carpet in a blue suit that screams sex on legs and is ready to throw away all attempts at concealing their secret relationship in the name of dropping to his knees at the first available opportunity.

eyes on me by matherine

Alex’s hips buck back against Henry’s mouth the moment his tongue does more than tease, and Henry squeezes his hip in gentle consternation. But before he can say anything, Alex is already rambling. “Sorry, I’m — I’m sorry, I know you said not to move, and I’m trying, I — I’m trying to be good, I promise,” he blurts, voice shaking ever so slightly from something that certainly doesn’t sound like pleasure, resolutely refusing to turn his head so that he can meet Henry’s gaze from where he’s positioned behind him. Henry’s heart aches. “Alex — love, it’s alright. Where’s your mind?” Or: Sometimes, Alex needs a distraction. Something to take the edge off, to scrub away at the stress of the day. Some days, it works better than others. 

the evolution of intimacy by Poutini

There’s no spontaneity anymore. One might think this boring. That the novelty had worn off. The spark snuffed. Absolutely not

Want Me by OrchidScript

Henry had always been weak for a nice smile, but his was impossible to ignore. Blame it on summer heat and a fresh flush in his cheeks. Blame it on sunset painting the outdoor bar sweltering, romantic colors. Blame it on two healthy glasses of albariño thrumming in his bloodstream, or the good music floating on the air. Henry could blame it on anything liked if he thought long and hard about it, but that didn’t change much at the end. The core remained the same: he had been gone from the jump. -- Henry and Alex hook up on a vacation in Spain. Henry falls a bit deeper.

fill my lungs with sweetness by @priincebutt

Henry George Edward James Fox-Mountchristen-Windsor wakes up at 3 AM on his birthday to an empty bed. What could Alex possibly be getting up to at 3 AM the night before his birthday? The possibilities are endless.

got myself in quite a tangle by coffeecatsme

"It seems I've gotten myself in quite a tangle." "Tangle?" Henry's voice is hoarse, eyes darkened as they travel over Alex's body. They stop at his crotch, and Alex can see it even under the dim lights—Henry's growing hard too, a visible bulge pushing at his sweatpants. Alex's cock gives a desperate twitch. "Y'know, I was trying to put them around the tree," he starts, gesturing at the plain tree at the corner. It's clear he didn't even attempt to touch it. "And somehow I've managed to completely trap myself. Can't even move my hands." Henry makes a desperate noise at the back of his throat as his eyes snap up to Alex's face. Alex flashes him a suggestive grin, teeth biting down on his lip. "Seems I'm completely at your mercy."

The Forces of Chance and Coincidences by @stellarm

Bad weather leads to a late flight that leads to no one being where they wanted to be, but maybe everyone was where they needed to be.

I've never felt safer (than when I'm with you) by viciouslyqueer

Alex takes the bag and opens it slowly, careful not to rip it, and gasps quietly as he sees what’s inside. “H, you didn’t…” Strong arms wrap around his waist from behind, Henry’s chest warm against his back. “Do you like it?” Henry asks in a whisper, resting his chin on Alex’s shoulder. Alex doesn’t know what to say. Gingerly, like he might ruin it with even the smallest touch, he takes out the silky fabric and holds it up in front of them. It’s a gorgeous dress, fancy too, in a deep red color with thin straps and an open back. It’s long, almost touching the floor even as Alex holds it up and has a slit on the left side that would probably end a little above Alex’s knee.

An Amateur's Guide to Professional Gift-Giving by anincompletelist

Alex, a former-law-student-taking-some-time-off turned professional part-time gift giver, is tasked with finding a gift for the most high profile client he's ever worked with, both in and out of the world of law. It turns out finding the perfect gift for the Prince of Wales might be easier than he'd anticipated.

Love At First Bark by everwitch

“I still don’t know your name, do I?” Henry watches Alex where he’s crouched down in front of David and gently scratching David below his chin. David absolutely loves Alex. Henry can relate. “It’s David,” Henry supplies. “Cool,” Alex says. “And what’s the dog’s name?” Henry blinks at him. “... David?” “What?” Alex exclaims. He looks from David to Henry and then back at David again. “Wow, okay, that is a choice.” Henry wants to sink through the earth and never come back up again.

don't let me get drunk again by headabovethewater

Alex had never wanted to cancel plans as much as he had while watching Henry pull a pair of light wash, tight jeans over his stockinged legs and bare ass. Christ, he’s getting hard thinking about it now.

The Beginner's Guide to Floristry by clottedcreamfudge

As if there's anything romantic about it; as if it's not the most humiliating death Alex can imagine. This is why he doesn't do relationships. This is why he never will. The risk, as far as he fucking sees it, is too great. -- Hanahaki Disease is a fictional disease where the victim of unrequited or one-sided love begins to vomit or cough up the petals and flowers of a flowering plant growing in their lungs, which will eventually grow large enough to render breathing impossible.

Everything you take, you make it better. So go on, take forever by @hgejfmw-hgejhsf

It's 2024, and nobody knows they're engaged. But they will, just as soon as Alex can decide what to wear to his birthday dinner. Henry has an idea and a special gift to match.

false pretenses by rizcriz

Henry spins around, glaring at Alex. “For christs sake,” He hisses, holding a hand out between them. “Can we just not? I do not have the capacity to pretend to hate you today.” Alex splutters as Henry turns on his heel and starts to walk away. He stares after him helplessly. “Pretend?” After a beat, he starts to follow after him, “What the fuck do you mean pretend?” Three years of breathing down each others necks, fighting every time they come in contact with each other. And if Henry is saying every single thing on his end has been pretend, Alex Claremont-Diaz is going to have a fucking breakdown. Because he has been harboring this stupid fucking crush and burying it beneath false antagonism, meeting Henry where he’s at, for three years, and if Henry is implying that they’re both faking it— -- or, Alex learns better.

turn the desert to glass (you would be the one) by @taste-thewaste

Henry and Alex's domestic bliss has lead to some changes in Henry's body. Henry doesn't really mind being a little chubby, but he wonders if Alex does. Alex, it turns out, does not. Not one bit. He does not mind one bit, and he is more than eager to prove it.

coming on fast like good dreams do by cricketnationrise

When Henry recovers from his unexpected factory reset, he still can’t really breathe properly and somehow Alex is still standing in front of him with a hopeful and excited expression on his face. “Run that by me again?” he asks faintly. “I need your help.” “Right…” “I need you to edge me. Like a lot,” Alex says with a shrug. Nope, it’s not any clearer a second time around.

as always, let me know if you want to be tagged in future lists, whether you're a reader or writer!

tagging @starkfridays @stilesgivesmefeels @midnightsfp @sarahjswift @enablelove

[squoxle]

✏ TNAIT 002: No Money, No Problem l.at fanfic

✰ pairing: nerdy!bandboy!anton x cheerleader!fem!reader | ✰ wc: 2.5k | ✰ cw: profanity, sexual themes, lgbt comments | ✰ plot: you find the perfect guy to help you bring up your grades, but he's so shy you wonder if you'll make any progress. too bad you couldn't get his cute little friend instead... [Series Masterlist]

“Dude! What the hell was that?” Chanyoung spat.

“What? Oh you mean making your wet dreams come true? In that case, you’re welcome,” Dongmin chuckled.

“Wet dreams? You’re the one who fantasizes about screwing the whole cheer squad, not me.”

“Stop acting like such a prude. You know you want it too. I saw your little buddy standing up for attention.”

“It was cold as fuck out there.”

“Right…those thoughts were pretty hot though, huh?”

“Shut up…”

“Look you just better make sure you pull your dorky ass together and text that girl before tomorrow. Unless…you’re too chicken,” Dongmin said as he began clucking like a chicken.

“God, you’re such a fucking child,” Chanyoung rolled his eyes, pulling out his phone.

Dongmin looked over his shoulder to watch him text you. “Dear my beloved personified fantasy,” he began. “I’d love to meet you tomorrow at 12 o’clock sharp to help you raise your grades while you raise that skirt,” he chuckled.

“Seriously dude, back the fuck up. I can’t concentrate,” Chanyoung sighed.

hey i wanted to text u before it got too late

i'll be at the library around 8am tomorrow morning

Sent 9:43pm

Chanyoung carefully re-read the messages, double-checking for any missing details.

"Ponytail" Typing...

"Shit!" he spat.

"What? What happened? Did you accidentally send her that video of you whacking off?" Dongmin teased.

"No...she's typing."

"Already?"

it's fine

i'll be up by that time anyway

should i...bring anything?

Sent 9:45pm

"Fuck! What do I say?"

"Gimme," Dongmin grinned as he snatched the phone from Chanyoung's hand.

yeah that sounds great

and nah ur good

just make sure u bring ur laptop...and maybe a notebook

Sent 9:46pm

Read 9:46pm

"Ponytail" Typing...

kk

gnite <3

Sent 9:46

gn

"Ha!" Dongmin exclaimed before giving Chanyoung back his phone. "Too easy," he huffed. "Now, all you gotta do is shave your balls and get ready for tomorrow," he smiled, patting Chanyoung on the shoulder.

"Shave my what?!"

"Your nuts, bro. So you can get that brain while you use yours," he chuckled.

"You know if anyone else heard the way you talk to me they'd think you were gay."

"I'm just being real with you."

"Yeah...really gay."

"Whatever," Dongmin laughed as he wrapped an arm around Chanyoung's shoulder.

"You sure lucked up, huh?" Abigail chimed as you told her about your little rendevous with Chanyoung. "I've seen him before, but I always kinda thought he was...y'know," she paused to flick her wrist, a motion you very well knew the meaning of.

"No, no. At least, I don't think so. He's just kinda shy."

"Shy? Or more into guys," she chuckled.

"Hey, knock it off. You're the one who told me to get my own guy."

"Actually, you wanted that. If I recall it correctly you said it would be weird for us to use the same guy."

"Oh...right," you blew air into your cheeks as you thought back to that moment earlier.

"Well, just let me know how everything goes for you. And remember, there's a sweet little Aussie boy named Jake who'd be more than glad to help you out," she smiled. "But beware. He's a subby little switch," she chuckled. "Cute and sexy."

"Hopefully, everything goes well tomorrow and I won't need your puppy," you chuckled as Abigail pulled up to your house.

"Fingers crossed that even if he is gay, he's at least useful."

"He's not gay."

"You don't know that for sure," she tilted her head.

"Neither do you," you tilted your head, mocking her.

"Hmm, fair enough. But you owe me lunch if he is," she smiled as you unbuckled your seatbelt.

"You're really sure about this," you laughed.

"Uhh...duh."

"Okay well I gotta go inside now before my dad eats me alive," you said as you climbed out of the car.

"Good luck, girlie," she waved as you jogged to the front door, waving back at her.

The next morning, you stopped by the ATM to withdraw 50 bucks before meeting with Chanyoung. "This should be enough for today," you thought to yourself.

"Debit Declined, Transaction Failed," the automated voice chimed as you inserted your card. "What the hell?" you spat before attempting to insert your card again only to see the same message pop up 3 more times.

"Did dad freeze my debit card?" you asked as your mom answered the phone.

"Yes, he did it when you came home late last night."

"I literally just came home from a game."

"I know, but you know how he feels about that."

"Yeah...it's fine."

"What did you need the money for?"

"Nothing, I changed my mind," you lied.

"You sure, honey? I can send the money to you a different way. Just let me know how much you need."

"No, Mom. It's alright. Really. Thanks though."

"Okay, well let me know if you change your mind again."

"M'kay. I will."

"Bye," she said before hanging up.

You needed that money right now more than anything else. However, given the current circumstances, that wasn't an option.

"Hey," you waved shyly as you sat down at a table across from Chanyoung.

"Hey," he said, so softly that you almost didn't even hear him. "So, umm...what did you want to start working on first," he asked in that same sheepish tone.

"Umm, well maybe math. It's an introductory algebra course, but I'm kinda struggling to grasp it y'know."

"Can you show me what you've been working on?"

"Sure," you stood up to move your chair closer to him. "Sorry," you apologized as he jerked slightly. "Fuck, I hope I'm not being too aggressive," you thought to yourself.

"It-it's okay," he smiled softly before scrolling through your modules. "Dongmin and his stupid big mouth," Chanyoung thought to himself.

"So, what do you think we should do first?" you asked, breaking the silence.

"Umm...maybe we could look through one of the quizzes and review the content. It'll be the easiest way to learn."

As brilliant as that idea sounded, you didn't have the time to actually learn the material.

"I'm not trying to sound ungrateful or anything, but is there any way I can get you to do the majority of the work...I just don't really have time to learn this with cheer practice and everything," you cringed at your own words, realizing just how pathetic you sounded.

"Oh, uhh--"

"I'll pay you," you blurted just as you remembered that you couldn't exactly finance this little escapade. "Well...actually--"

"It's fine. You don't have to do anything unless you want to. Let's just look at this as a friendly favor," he shrugged as his lips formed into a shy smirk.

"Huh, really?"

"Yeah," he nodded, turning back to the laptop. "You can watch me work the problems out. Maybe it'll help you learn the material," he said as you leaned over, unconsciously bracing yourself on his thigh.

You listened as he explained the process of solving each equation and watched him scribble notes in your journal. For a moment, you got lost in his eyes. You watched them glaze across the screen through his glasses.

Maybe it was his shyness, or maybe it was something else, but your heart always fluttered when he came around. That was the real reason you stumbled on your words whenever you spoke to him.

It was something about the way he bit his bottom lip when he was focused that made you want to kiss him...

"Ugh!" he groaned as you lost your balance. Your hand fell right into his manhood and you could see it all over his face.

"Oh my god! I'm so sorry," you pleaded, grabbing onto his shoulder as he hunched over in pain.

"I-it's alright...I know you didn't do it on purpose," he said, grinding his teeth together.

"Umm, do you want me to get something?"

He exhaled deeply before replying, "No, I just have to wait it out."

"I'm really sorry," you apologized again as he continued to take deep breaths, squeezing his eyes shut. You reached over to close your laptop. "We can finish this later," you said as he seemed to calm down.

"You sure?"

"Yeah. You've already done more than I would've."

"So..tell me something about yourself. Since we're gonna be hanging out a lot more often, we might as well take the time to get to know each other," you said as the two of you sat outside together.

"There isn't really much to know," he shrugged.

"What about past relationships?" this question was triggered by a sense of curiosity and the fact that Abigail was so sure he was gay.

"Well, I've never really dated anyone before," he said, looking off.

"Anyone...well did you at least have a crush?"

"Hmm...there was this one girl I liked, but she only ever saw me as a friend."

"Have you always been into music?"

"Huh? How'd you know I was into music?"

"Shit," you swore to yourself. You didn't hear this from him..

"Oh, well umm I remember seeing you in the orchestra during the first week of school," you were able to save your ass this time, but you had to be more careful. You knew more than you were letting on.

"Oh yeah. Well, actually my parents encouraged me to start playing the cello, but I grew to like it on my own. Heh, I remember one time when I stayed up all night to learn this one piece. It was really important because that would be my first solo performance in high school," you watched as he smiled thinking back to that moment.

"Well I'm sure you did amazing," you smiled.

"Ehh...that would've been the expected outcome," he chuckled to himself. "But I thought it was a brilliant idea to be Romeo before my performance and ended up forgetting half of my solo. You can imagine how that went."

"Not really..."

"Well, it's like I said earlier. She saw me as a friend. So my head was all over the place after that. I should've just waited until after the show to tell her. I was gonna do it anyway."

"Hmm...maybe," you sighed, wondering if he still had feelings for her or had moved on by now.

"Alright, enough about me. It's my turn to ask you some questions."

"Okay, hit me," you laughed at his boldness.

"How many relationships have you been in?"

"Zero. Next question."

"Zero?! How?"

"My parents are pretty strict so I wasn't allowed to date. To them, my grades are the most important thing. But there was one guy I liked. He was a little older than me, but he hated the fact that we had to sneak around all the time," you sighed thinking back to the first real boyfriend you could've had.

"Oh, well I can understand that," he said looking over to you as if he was trying to read your body language, hoping it would expose another part of you.

"So what else did you want to ask me?"

"What made you come up to me? Aside from needing help."

"What do you mean?"

"Well, I've come to every game and that was the first time we ever spoke to each other. I'm just wondering if there was something that stood out," his shaggy brown hair was perfectly draped across his face, slightly peeking over his round glasses.

"Uhh...well you were a familiar face. I figured you had to be a genius if you were in the orchestra. Y'know musically inclined people are said to be more intelligent," you smiled even though you knew very well that you chose him randomly and could barely remember him on your own.

"Heh, that's what my dad always tells me," he smiled with an expression so pure and sweet you could only sit there in silence.

You felt bad realizing that your only intention of talking to him in the first place was to use him to improve your grades. Plus this little heartfelt conversation started for two reasons--1) you had to buy time to come up with another form of payment and 2) you were not buying Abigail lunch.

If you didn't need him, you honestly wouldn't have looked twice in his direction. Yes, you found him attractive, but that was it. You didn't care about his interests...

"Spill the tea! Is he gay or not?" Abigail squealed as you met up with her in the campus cafe.

"Woah, what happened to 'hey, how did the studying go?'" you laughed.

"Tell me about that after this. I'm starving and I wanna know if I'm gonna be paying or not."

"Well he told me about a girl he liked back in highschool so I think that should answer your question."

"Dammit," she swore before reaching in her bag. " Text me what you want. I'm gonna go order out stuff and I'll be right back, 'kay?"

You nodded as she walked away. You watched her blonde ponytail sway with her movements as she went up to the register. You had completely forgotten about the whole frozen card thing, so you were even happier that she would be paying today.

"Alright, now tell me. Did you suck him off or what?"

"Ugh! No way. I was gonna pay him instead, but my dad froze my cards so I'm just pretending to be his friend so he can keep helping me," this was mostly true except for the fact that you were kinda falling for him.

"Well, you can either keep doing that or at least try to get some pleasure out of it. As cute as my little Jakey is, I just need him for my grades," she smiled, flipping her ponytail. "Do you really think I care about his nerdy life?"

"I know right," You laughed.

"You just need to give that boy your homework and walk away. He's not your study-buddy he's your dorky little fuck-toy and that's it. Don't let him bore you to death with his lame-ass life stories. That is not what you signed up for girl.”

“Honestly. After he fixes my grades I’ll probably never talk to him again.”

“Yeah, until next semester,” Abigail laughed. “I’m not trying to sound like the stereotypical blonde, but I’m too pretty to use my brain. Especially when I have a body like this,” she poked her tongue out as she playfully shook her tits.

“Oh my god! You can’t do that in public,” you hid your face behind your hand.

“Oh baby trust me, there’s a whole LOT you can do in public. It’s only illegal if you get caught,” she winked. “Thanks,” she smiled as the waiter came to the table with your food.

Abby wasn't entirely wrong. You could get away with a lot in public, but someone else is always present. Another witness. Another loose end. Or maybe...a ticking time bomb. Eager to get their way at the expense of your dirty little secret.

Living a double-life has its consequences.

You were so wrapped up in your conversation with Abigail you failed to notice Dongmin who was busy cleaning a table not too far from you. How were you supposed to know he worked here part-time? Like you said earlier, you hardly even knew of their existence before the other night.

Thanks for reading the second episode of my series. [Series Masterlist]

Click this link to go to my main masterlist and stay tuned for the next episodes.

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[fullsunised]

Hi, not sure if your taking requests. Can you do one with NCT Dream giving their idol crush a inkigayo sandwich with their number in it.

ɴᴄᴛ ᴅʀᴇᴀᴍ¹⁰ : ɢɪᴠɪɴɢ ᴛʜᴇ ʀᴇᴀᴅᴇʀ ᴀɴ ɪɴᴋɪɢᴀʏᴏ sᴀɴᴅᴡɪᴄʜ

. ★彡 genre: fluff

. ★彡 trigger warnings: swear words

. ★彡 requests are being worked on, apologies for the delay

. ★彡 a/n: thanks for thr request, I know it took a while. and also, like I said before, I'm not a liar so BRO IDFK WHERE IM GOING WITH THIS PLS HELP. 😭😭😭😭 apologies for the dissapointment I created.

❝ 𝒄𝒂𝒏 𝒘𝒆 𝒇𝒂𝒍𝒍 𝒊𝒏 𝒍𝒐𝒗𝒆 𝒖𝒏𝒅𝒆𝒓 𝒕𝒉𝒆 𝒎𝒐𝒐𝒏𝒍𝒊𝒈𝒉𝒕 ❞

╰─▸ ❝ 愛 . . . ⇢ ˗ˏˋ [ 𝐌𝐀𝐑𝐊 𝐋𝐄𝐄 ] ࿐ྂ

courage, and pushing. it would take this man the whole world, to push him to do what he always wanted to do. he's all flustery- awkward I mean, especially if he's planing to give this shit- sandwich, he's shitting his pants for sure. he's not sure of his desicion even after he's give it to you.

first, he's gonna worry about what to write, next he's worry about how to put it in, and then you know he's worrying if the sandwich has even reached you, then he's worried about your reaction. he's checking his phone every minute of his life just waiting for a text from you to pop up.

bro is stressed to say the least, but you know all that stress evaporates from his entire self instantly after you text him, and flash him a smile when you two stumble upon each other.

╰─▸ ❝愛 . . . ⇢ ˗ˏˋ [ 𝐑𝐄𝐍𝐉𝐔𝐍 𝐇𝐔𝐀𝐍𝐆 ] ࿐ྂ

bro is cool man. he's gonna find out what your favourite sandwich is, shove your number in and hand it to you personally. all chill. but uh uh, that's how it looks, he's shitting himself on the inside. it's so funny. feel like he's the type to just suffer amongst himself, so his head is full of what ifs.

the waiting era is difficult. he like anyone else, is constantly checking his phone waiting for a notification from you to pop up. but again he also considers the fact that you are really busy, and have a lot on your plate.

when you finally text him back, he's the happiest man on earth. he's looking forward to getting close to you, and maybe becoming your boyfriend ;).

╰─▸ ❝愛 . . . ⇢ ˗ˏˋ [ 𝐉𝐄𝐍𝐎 𝐋𝐄𝐄 ] ࿐ྂ

uh....he's just nervous. he writes a small note underneath like 'no pressure' or sm just so you don't feel compelled to answer or text him. he hands you the sandwich with a smile, and an awkward wave after that. he'd leave before you could smile or sm like that.

he's sitting in his dorm, doing everything in his mind to distract himself, which is kinda difficult because his gaze keeps shifting to his phone. his eyes legit light up when he sees an unknown number, texting him a small hi.

he finds you so fucking adorable, he's smiling eye to eye, his eyes disappearing- he doesn't waste a minute to immediately text you back. and from then on, yall be texting each other everyday. hahahahahaha.

╰─▸ ❝愛 . . . ⇢ ˗ˏˋ [ 𝐇𝐀𝐄𝐂𝐇𝐀𝐍 𝐋𝐄𝐄 ] ࿐ྂ

my cutie. anyways, man is confident in himself bro. he's 101% sure you do have some sort of feelings per se towards him, so he doesn't have a problem writing his number- ah, he's also gonna add a corny ass comment underneath for sure.

he waits until you read it, a sheepish ( he's so adorable I just wanna punch him in the face, with them kisses ) smile tracing his face. you'd let out a small chuckle, reading what he wrote. bro is gonna force you to add his number right there, and force you to text him.

Trust when I say he's gonna save your number as something corny bro. so adorable. uh, that's gonna be you as well, cause he might as well, save it for you. you two gonna be next famous couple fr.

╰─▸ ❝愛 . . . ⇢ ˗ˏˋ [ 𝐉𝐀𝐄𝐌𝐈𝐍 𝐍𝐀 ] ࿐ྂ

he's smiling, while writing the note, while shoving it in the sandwich, while handing it to you, and while you are reading it. bro, he's like hyuck, he doesn't mind waiting while you open it and read it.

you smile slightly, promising that you'd text him later, because you had to perform, and he'd take that for granted and wait like his life depends on it.

bro has the patience of a saint, so he's waiting for weeks if he has to. but you are just as eager to talk to him, so you text him between a show and boom your cute little friendship booms fr. and then further in.

╰─▸ ❝ 愛 . . . ⇢ ˗ˏˋ [ 𝐂𝐇𝐄𝐍𝐋𝐄 𝐙𝐇𝐎𝐍𝐆] ࿐ྂ

you know he's gonna find the fanciest sandwich if that's even a thing to put his number in. he'd send someone to hand it to you, don't get him wrong, man's whipped asf for you, but he doesn't wanna make a bad impression on you by being a stuttery mess.

everytime his phone lights up, he's waiting for a text from you but groans when it isn't. he does that for the nth time that whole day, until you finally text him, apologising for being late cause of your schedules.

bro is elated. kicking his feet and shit while texting you back. he just loves talking to you so much, so don't even think about going offline for a minute. lol.

╰─▸ ❝ 愛 . . . ⇢ ˗ˏˋ [ 𝐉𝐈𝐒𝐔𝐍𝐆 𝐏𝐀𝐑𝐊 ] ࿐ྂ

if mark was nervous, jisung is ultra pro max nervous. he's like shaking his feet, biting his nails while thinking of heat to write. his original plan was to just shove a paper with his number in but after his members persuaded him to write something else, he's wondering what.

deciding to write a small hi, he shoves it in. half way through he's contemplate if he should just go back, and admire you from afar like usual, but his members, trust in them, they push him to give you the sandwich.

he's running away without waiting for your response, because bro is not prepared to be rejected or even accepted. and then after nervously pacing around for a while, he recieved a text from you. he's elated but he's also contemplating every message he sends.

FULLSUNISED.

[earthtodora]

why is it so wrong that I ask you to make it clear you’re a fixed shipper when that’s what you are??? I didn’t accuse you of anything, you yourself said you’re a top megumi truther only and you can’t ever write him as a bottom, isn’t that the literal definition of a fixed shipper? I’m a switch stan but I don’t mind when a writer has clear preference and that’s what I thought you were, but I just like to avoid fixed shippers and judge me all you want all my experiences with them was bad so sorry even if you’re not toxic, I tend to avoid following or reading the works of fixed shippers. Again my intention was just to notify u that maybe it’s better to be clear about that and I guess I was annoyed that a writer I like was a fixed shipper 😭 you may think it’s stupid but I was literally called slurs by fixed shippers simply for saying that switching makes more sense and yes not saying you are like that at all. I’m just not risking it anymore, and it’s not unheard of so many fixed shippers just put that emoji 🚫🔃 or something else not sure and it’s end of story. Do what you want but just want to make it clear why I asked you in the first place to make it obvious.

but bro, i am literally not that iffy about my preferences, why should i post no switching and disclaimers about me being a fixed shipper and not wanting to read bottom megumi when 1. it's not the case and 2. it has no influence whatsoever on the rest of the stuff i write?

why do you need to know what preference i have? do you tell every writer you're a switch truther and you'd like to read smth where both of them fuck the other? when i called myself a top megu thruther i wasn't making a big deal out of it, if i knew people were going to take it like that, i would have never mentioned it. it's a preference and it's something i enjoy writing, but it's not an identity and doesn't change anything about my approach to the characters, or the way i write the rest of the story.

i don't mind people knowing i'm a fixed shipper, but i don't understand how should i make it "obvious" in the way you're implying it. is it a warning? i don't write bottom megumi fics? my writing is in no way defined by the smut part, or the sex scenes. my focus is usually the relationship itself, the characters' emotions and their personal development.

you're saying you're annoyed by the fact that a writer you like is a fixed shipper, so that's the reason why you want me to put disclaimers on everything? i write the same kind of stuff as i did before this discourse started, so i don't see what's the problem.

i think you're really hung up on your past experiences or whatever happened to you, and i'm sorry that fixed shippers were mean to you in the past, but, personally, this is literally the first time i'm hearing about fixed shipping and the fact that you think all of them are like that is not a healthy mindset to have, in my opinion.

my only issue here is that you mentioned that you were not aware of the fact that i was a fixed shipper. do you know why? because my content doesn't revolve around a specific preference. nor do any of my posts on tumblr. i don't have an issue with anyone who prefers or writes bottom megumi. so why put myself into the "fixed shipper" box and have people like you assume that i'm some sort of asshole who will harass people if they disagree with me?

i don't see the point of this.

[randomgentlefolk]

CPC CHAPTER 167

YO PROPS TO WITCH!!!

Hm, I wonder how Leelathae writes in her diary? I mean, does she write them in just dialogue, or narrative, or what? Either she is writes in dialogue, or she described the witch pretty well for Gwen to recognize who the witch is.

I mean, I didn't expect these ingredients, but sure. Does this imply there's a cemetery near The Pastel Kingdom? Cause Leelathae isn't allowed to be far from home, right? And I doubt she would ask someone to get dirt from cemetery for her...

I wonder what Leelathae plan was? Cause she didn't get the chance to execute it since her portrait was stolen by Leland. Or maybe she did execute it while in the Plaid Kingdom?

I agree with the witch so much. The painters fr did Leelathae dirty 💀

THE WITCH WASN'T LYING. SHE DOES LOOK COOL AF. LIKE. BRO?? HOW AM I NOT SUPPOSED TO FALL IN LOVE.

Huh. How does the ingredient turn into a paint-like liquid?? None of the ingredients are liquid based. Maybe the dirt?

This whole spell thing is sick man. It's so dang cool!! I wonder if anyone notices Leelathae sparkling?? I mean, one of the maids has got to notice right?

Also I've never knew there's tea inside snickerdoodles (chai is tea, right?). Well, it's not like I've ever tried snickerdoodles, but last time I read the recipe, I don't remember tea being in the recipe. But that was years ago so it might just be my memory.

Well, the mystery of the portrait is finally solved! And yet there's another mystery.. what writing did Leelathae put behind her portrait? Yes, the diary is one of them, but there are other things too. Like those brown and green papers. I'm guessing it's a message toward her kids?

Ohh, that's why!! Leelathae was glowy because of the spell!

BRUH SO WAS IT LIKE, A MISUNDERSTANDING THIS WHOLE TIME?? I did kinda predict it in my really old post, but I was joking T_T

Something's kinda bothering me about what Leelathae said in her 3rd wish. Why is she only talking about her daughters? What about Jamie? Or is there a hidden meaning that I am not getting here? If someone would enlighten me, that would be nice.

Aw. It's actually pretty sweet when you think about how they didn't even know how to speak to each other at first, but they still fell in love with each other <3

Oh. Oohhh....okay. This doesn't justify what Leland is doing right now, but it sure give a big reason for it. Yikes. Damn. That must've hurt.

Okay okay, let me just remember the past episodes to realize all the causes here.

Leland's parents died due to tragic carriage accident (didn't a carriage accident happen more than once? Tho I can't remember to who besides Leland's parents)

His best friend, Jack, didn't arrive to Leland's parents' funeral, which is the moment he needed him the most (not Jack's fault though, since he was literally stranded in an island)

Leland obviously has a little crush on Jack, which is why it hurts him when he found out Jack brought Leelathae to Pastel Kingdom (again, not Jack's fault). I think this is where he jealousy starts, the point where Leland thinks he has to be better at every love things than Jack.

He overheard Jack saying he didn't need him, which is probably the nail in the coffin for Leland. I mean that monologue Leland has? That's kinda internal mental breakdown right there. (I gotta say, this scenario is kindaaa similar to Gwen overhearing Frederick calls her ugly. I wouldn't say it's the exact same thing of course. It's just the overhearing that makes it similar)

So! Looking at these 4 reasons, it is highly likely that Leland has some problems (no shit sherlock). HEAR ME OUT. I don't know what it is yet. I was thinking of abandonment issues, but I have yet to read much about it, so i'm not sure yet.

HAH! Glad Leelathae decided to haunt his dreams tho!

OH SHIT OH SHIT. NAH LELAND NAHHHH. HE BETTER NOT. ....well at the time i'm writing this the next episode is already out so.. guess we're gonna find out...IN THE NEXT REVIEW!!

Yeah I haven't read the episode yet lol. I bet it's gonna be chaotic though.

That's it for now, until next time.

Mono out! (But still in to hear your thoughts)

[ringo-ichigo]

So after thinking thing through with less anger and relistening to Somerton's apology, I think I'm actually more irritated in new ways. So I think the whole "I was trying to be a representative and inclusive" part was partly his attempt at essentially saying "Sorry for the phobias."

Here's my problem with it. One, he doesn't name it. He doesn't say "I'm sorry for the bisexual erasure I perpetuated" or "I should have apologized and corrected myself on asexuals being subject to conversion therapy" or any number of other issues that were brought up. He doesn't state that these are the things he's trying to apologize for and he doesn't say sorry.

Two, sir, how is calling an out bisexual woman a "straight white woman" inclusive? Do explain this to me because personally, I don't get inclusion from that. Like, in what world was this going to make bisexuals specifically but really anyone feel like this was an inclusive space?!

Three, sir, the issue wasn't that you couldn't be a voice for the community, be a leader within it, or however you want to describe your role because of your identity. You being a white gay man wasn't really the issue with your attempt to be a role model. Like, sure, we have a plethora of those and other more marginalized voices would be preferred over yours, but there's nothing about being a white gay man that makes you inherently unfit for the role. Like, it's more you're not the first choice unless there are no other candidates. But again, that's not why people are hurt by you trying to be that voice. It was your actions and your words that did that. It's not that you never could be a megaphone for other voices. Like, you could have. But when you are a leader and your actions and words are actively spreading biphobia, acephobia, transphobia, lesbophobia, and misogyny, yeah, nah, we don't want you being a leader. Because you're not showing the qualities needed in a leader. You're actively harming the people you're claiming to represent while trying to act like you're going to advocate for them. Sorry, but I have a real hard time believing you'll advocate for me well when there's a good chance you'd find some reason to be angry at me and call me "a straight white woman" despite the fact that I am not straight. I may be white and a woman, but I am certainly not straight. I've been out as bi since 2016. And I'm just one person. I'm sure others would have similar thoughts.

Like, maybe I'm just wrong, but it feels to me like he thought the issue was his identity and that's why he's disqualified. Like, nah bro. We care far more about the things you did than your identity. If you watch B. Dylan Hollis, I feel like him in the pinto bean cake short. James is going "Make sure you clean your grind-o-mat," while I'm looking at him going "I'm not concerned about your precious grind-o-mat!" Like, sir, you are focusing on the wrong issue here!

Fourth, if you're implying that you tried to be a voice for the community by stealing from others within it... I'm sorry, but like... what ass backward logic is this? In what world would that have been good and wanted?! Like, yeah, you'll never fully get what it's like to, say, be a bi person being told that they're not allowed an opinion or voice because "You're straight." But like... how would plagiarizing a bi person talking about their bi erasure in that instance help you understand better than just reading it??? That's not how this works. If you don't have the perspective, you don't gain one by stealing! And again, like, why would anyone want you representing them after they found out you were stealing shit? To be a representative is to be their face essentially. Who would be like "Yeah this guy stole from me, but I want him to be my body double from now on"????

I could be wrong about this, but this is what I'm getting from this part. And frankly it's just further proof that he did not get why people were mad.

[bambamramfan]

A fun read, even if you don't entirely agree with the thesis. Full of delightfully illustrated examples. I'd rate it 75% correct.

I'd add examples of what it used to be like going to used bookstores looking for that one out of print book, vs searching amazon now. Or what I previously wrote about World of Warcraft optimization.

For the other 25%, well...

Sam Kriss wrote a while ago about the death of hipsters.

The hipster was an information-sorting algorithm: its job was to always have good taste. The hipster listened to bands you’d never heard of. The hipster drank beers brewed by Paraguayan Jesuits in the 1750s. The hipster thought Tarkovsky was for posers, and the only truly great late-Soviet filmmaker was Ali Khamraev. The hipster bought all his toilet paper from a small-batch paper factory in Abkhazia that included small fragments of tree bark in the pulp. The hipster swam deep into the vastness of human data, and always surfaced with pearls. Through its powers of snobbery and disdain, the hipster could effortlessly filter out what was good.

Almost any economist will tell you, that information gathering is just a different sort of price people pay for products. They can pay $300 up front for a good experience, or they can spend hours scouring and networking to find a similar quality experience for $100. If they find these two bundles equivalent, then that information gathering labor was worth $200 to them.

The difference is, when the naive consumer just pays *someone gets those extra $200*, whereas if the information gathering is labor (big if), then that extra labor doesn't actually pay anyone, and the world is just $200 of effort worse off. So, cetera paribus, it's better if everyone knows all the good places and at least the local industry is reaping the surplus.

So this is the death knell of hipsters, as all the information they had to seek out is accessible by everyone and just goes into rents for the producers.

...

Except we know from experience, it doesn't *really* work like that. For one, a lot of us ENJOY the hipster information gathering experience. It's a fun activity in moderation, and we even develop an identity for having a personal research base to use as a resource. How do you calculate the labor surplus lost if you're having fun? Well, I'm sure the economists can find some way to.

The other problem is that Freddie is only talking about a certain class of hipsters. The same ones Sam refers to in his essay. You can look at it as a sort of pyramid.

Top: quasi-autistic savants who are on Discords talking about secret places, or going out and mapping territories themselves.

Middle: hipsters who casually seek out new things they heard about and report back in indy magazine columns.

Bottom: the great mass who do one google search and flock to whatever they are told "the best deal" is.

(Now it's more complex than that. To be honest these three are probably only the top 25% of people, and the real base of the pyramid has no idea what any of this is about. And there's networks and lines of communication between the different layers. But you get the idea.)

For a while in the 90's and 00's, being a hipster became easier, and maybe that middle layer grew a bit in both directions. And then in the 10's the process Freddie describes ramped up, and so the value of just being a middle-tier hipster shrunk again.

But there are still a lot of secrets out there. You just have to be a much more dedicated information gatherer. Being in the top tier - which in travel might be as simple as driving places instead of flying to them IME - will still find you things where no one else is there.

This month I'm going to visit the cement factory where they filmed scifi movies like the Crowe and Super Mario Bros, and I expect to be the only one there.

[eliezersaul]

L: Me (June 16, 23) - - R: Sahar Kazes, IFBB. Since I was a teenager, I've had 3 or 4 goals that haven't changed with the years ... One of those goals, is to ... Yep, to become a musclebro. Or a gymbro. Or whatever people call them now - - I mean, my brother used to be a personal trainer back then, and I loved seeing him getting massive, and all the good vibes and positivity he used to exude. Then, he left the fitness world because of, well... Things unrelated to what I wanna say. I tried the musclebro thing back then, but my brother never understood I was just a newbie with a lot of stuff and problems on his mind... So, everytime I went to his gym, I ended up sore for two weeks!. So, long story short... I avoided training with him like if my life depended on it! ... and ironically, didn't have a lot of motivation or self esteem to go anywhere else to workout. My cousin followed my brother steps though, and he is right now what I still want to be. A biker musclebro. We don't talk a lot, but I feel happy for him. Genuinely happy.

But, anyway... The thing is, I've kinda hated when people have told me silly things (and this is an understatement!) for talking about this goal. Not a surprise that many people assume that: Bodybuilding/Going to a gym/Getting muscled = Becoming arrogant, dumb, or an obnoxious man... Sure, some dudes who go to the gym are that way, and some like to be that way but because (according to my own theory) they already were that way! Besides, there's always SOMETHING to learn about this world: Either a new routine, or a diet, or how your muscles work, or which workout will help you with which muscle, or the chemical components of what you eat daily, how to do a correct meal prep, supplements... Even those who use roids have to learn A MASSIVE TON of stuff. I remember my brother used to train a couple dudes when they were getting ready for a competition, and, maaaaan... Tons and tons of information.

Started going approximately a year ago, and, well... My diet is not the best one... Yet. But I like the testosterone rush I feel everyday after a good workout... And I don't consider myself a brainless, dumb dude... Nor planning/thinking about going that way.

...Honestly, F those who disencourage YOU from doing what you'd love. Get your gymspiration (or whatever inspiration you need to do good things) anywhere you need it!

And, yes. Getting big, hairy (test, minox... you name it), a couple tats, a sweet bike when cash allows it... BEING HAPPY WITH THE WAY I LOOK... I mean... Why not? I love that idea. Maybe I fell in love with the action stereotype from the 80s (yep, 80s/90s kid… Former trust fund kid anyway but that's a VERY different story mwhahahahaha), and, seeing that, and my brother, made me love it until today. I still want that!. The roid thing... I'm not exactly partial to it for myself. If it makes your boat float, go for it dude! In my case... Well, MAAAAAAAAAAYBE if I were a pro bodybuilder, an IFBB one, maybe/whoknows/i'dtryit/whatever... I'm not condoning its use, though! But, my motto is never say never!

For me, well, right now, seeing those giants at my current gym is a MAJOR inspiration. Can't talk to them or befriend them because, well... Issues to make friends, can't/don't know how to... (Thanks high school, you damaged me so much my ability to make friends got ruined forever).

Anyway... Just wanted to talk a bit about it.

So, yep. Still wanna be a musclebro, bro. PS: If anyone reads this, I'd love to read your comments! Thanks for making it this far!.

[imsparky2002]

So, my thoughts went down a trail last night. I was thinking about OC’s, and the shitshow that would happen if canon got ahold of them, and from that came some ideas. I come to you with a prompt for a fanon ‘Talking with Thomas’! Here goes: Our baby boi Jesse is getting intro’d in an episode! YAY! But then they read the script. And let’s just say, Myvan and Jesse are NOT happy. The basic premise is this: Jesse decides to confess his feelings for Mylene during a rehearsal for their latest play, and Ivan happens to be there to witness this, and gets turned back into Stoneheart.

Here are a few things they have MAJOR problems with:

Jesse clearly not respecting Mylene’s relationship with Ivan, springing a confession on her out of nowhere(maybe the script even has him try to kiss her)

And the fact that the show still pushes him as being a ‘Nice Guy’

Mylene being Adrinette-level oblivious to Jesse CLEARLY flirting with her even before he confesses

Ivan being treated like the bad guy in the situation, with it being framed as him getting akumatized out of jealousy, rather than completely justifiable anger at Jesse’s lack of regard for Mylene’s feelings.

(Canon)MARINETTE of all people giving Ivan a talk about not letting jealousy dictate your actions

Jesse never apologizes to either of them

Anything else you want to add, feel free!

Jesse: (knocks on the door frame of Ivan and Mylene’s trailer, all smiles) Hey guys, you ready to go over the script?

(He looks confused as their faces fall.) 

Jesse: Is... something wrong?

Mylene: Uh, yeah. Jess….we read over the script and it’s… 

Ivan: It’s not good.

(He only now realizes that Ivan looks like he's going to kill someone, and so does Mylene. He begins looking at the script.) 

Jesse: Ok, so it's got writing issues. But hey, this is my big break! I'm sure it can't be so ba- 

(He stops as he begins to read through it, his face getting more and more aghast and pissed.) 

Jesse: WHAT THE FU- 

(We cut to Thomas Astruc sitting at his desk playing with Ladybug and Cat Noir action figures.)

Thomas Astruc: (Pretending that they are speaking to Queen Bee) "Take that you vile bitch! You're worse than Hawk Moth" Pow pow! 

(Jesse and Myvan enter the room as he frantically puts the toys away.)

Thomas Astruc: Ah, Jose! Millenium, Igor! You must've gone through the new script! Pretty cool, huh?

Mylene: (Under her breath) That’s not even a name! 

Jesse: Actually, sir, we had some problems we were hoping to discuss with you. And it’s *Jesse*.

Thomas Astruc: Problems? There shouldn't be any problems. This is one of our best episodes yet. 

Ivan: *Raises his eyebrows* Sir, can we go over this episode from beginning to end so that you understand how each and every minute of this thing is wrong? 

Thomas Astruc: Whatever, I don't have anything else to do today.

Mylene: Okay, we’ll start at the beginning. Why am I suddenly Adrien-level oblivious?! Jesse’s clearly trying to flirt with me all throughout the first scene, and not once do I call him out on it, or point out that he should know damn well I have a boyfriend!

Ivan: Not to mention that you even have me thinking about wanting to beat him up for flirting with her! I'd never do that to my best bro! 

(He hugs Jesse.) 

Thomas Astruc: Well, it's because Mylene doesn't expect anyone besides Ivan to flirt with her since she's... let's just say... not conventionally attractive?

Jesse: Okay, one! Mylene is gorgeous, ask anyone here! And I mean that as her friend, so don’t get any ideas. And two, there’s a difference between ‘protective’ and ‘possessive’.

Ivan: And I should be protective seeing how the Jesse in this script is a total creep to her. 

Mylene: And when my teddy bear tells me about his concerns, albeit in a very ooc way, I brush him off as being jealous! Not to mention Marinette, the Girl Squad, and the boys treat HIM as the bad guy!

Thomas: Well, he’s letting feelings of jealousy get the better of him and friends are calling him out on it!

Ivan: Then have someone explain to me that while my feelings are valid, I should not go about it in such an aggressive way. I'm a gentle giant, not a toxic brute!

Jesse: Exactly! And I’m seeing some serious double standards here! So, Adrien can feel jealous from time to time, but if any other guy does, they’re villainized!

Thomas: Well, because it's destiny for him and Marinette to have gotten together! 

Jesse: Destiny my tiny ass! He told me it's because it's main character syndrome! 

Mylene: Speaking of which, in the show you have Stalkernette giving the speech at the end to Ivan about not letting jealousy dictate your actions. Marinette cackled when she saw that in the script, she couldn't believe it. 

Thomas Astruc: What's wrong with Marinette teaching Ivan a lesson? (They look aghast.)

Ivan: Because she regularly does insane and borderline if not outright illegal things based on her insane jealousy over Adrien!

Thomas Astruc: Yes, but now she's dating him. And she had good intentions. 

Mylene: That is so dumb, but we've got so much more to unpack. Next up is the confession. 

Thomas Astruc: Let me guess, there's something wrong with this as well? 

Ivan: Jesse, I'll let you go over the whole thing.

Jesse: (Takes a deep breath as he pinches the bridge of his nose) Oh my god, where to begin? First of all, why does this scene even need to happen? Why do I tell her my feelings for her out of nowhere, and during a dress rehearsal, which would likely put huge stress on her and affect her performance! It shows that I have total lack of regard for her feelings and needs, and reaffirms that I have NO respect for her relationship with Ivan. God, the way it’s worded is so cringe! I sound like a total creep! And the icing on top of this shit cake….the attempted kiss. What. The. Fuck.

Thomas Astruc: Because you were too swept up in your neverending love for Mylene! To you, it's the only thing more important than the theatre. Isn't that romantic? 

Jesse: HOW IN GOD'S NAME IS THAT ROMANTIC?! It's selfish! I wouldn't stress out one of the best actors we have with a proposition for her to have an affair or break up with Ivan.

Ivan: And how the fuck is it romantic to try and force a kiss on someone?! But no, the reason I get akumatized after seeing this is because I’m fucking jealous, not the fact that my girlfriend was almost assaulted!

Mylene: And that's another thing! Why didn't Ivan get treated as having a sympathetic akumatization, since we know you wouldn't write him calling the police on Jesse for trying to assault me. 

(Thomas gives them a exasperated groan.)

Thomas: Oh, come on! It was just a kiss and she pushed him away! What’s the big deal?

(Ivan is about to pummel him before controlling himself.) 

Mylene: Seeing how you never had Felix apologize for assaulting Marinette while pretending to see Adrien, I suppose you don't have any idea on how it feels for a woman in that situation. 

Jesse: Yeah, or how what I did was morally ireprehensible. 

Thomas Astruc: Fine! We'll change it so that you get akumatized. 

(Jesse looks wary) 

Jesse: Go on...

Thomas Astruc: We’ll have Jesse get akumatized instead because he’s mad about being rejected! He’ll go after Mylene and Ivan, and we were planning on give Gene a miraculous, so he can be a new hero that gets introduced! Is that better?

Jesse: First off, it's Jean, and second of all, shouldn't he get his own episode where he's the focus? Otherwise it just comes out of nowhere! 

Ivan: That's what I said for Penalteam. 

Mylene: Not only that, Jesse doesn't apologize at the end of this script. Would you make him apologize if he got akumatized? 

Thomas Astruc: Oh, they'll just sweep it under the rug. We'll even have him continue to flirt, it'll be hilarious! People will make compilations of Isaac being protective, it'll be great!

Mylene: That's even worse! It shows that he learned nothing and still doesn’t respect me as a person! And again, being protective is one thing, but you have a warped view of that. Wanting to beat someone up or threaten them to ‘stay away from my girl’ is dangerous and toxic. It makes it look like Ivan doesn’t view me as anything more than a possession!

Ivan: In fact, I'm even worse than in Origins. Now, Mylene's my girlfriend, and I kidnap her again! She didn't even do anything! Not only that, this time I literally crush and destroy anyone who even goes near her. And I tried to kill Jesse! Friend or not, I'd never murder, I'm no yandere. 

Thomas Astruc: Ladybug and Cat Noir will just cure everything, so you won't have any casualties. Problem solved!

Jesse: That doesn’t mean the trauma isn’t there! It’s been established that people remember what happens even after the cure is cast!

Thomas Astruc: Well, then it'll be a reminder to Jesse to stick to flirting instead of kissing, for Ivan to not get so worked up over harmless actions, and for Mylene to stand up for herself. 

Mylene: I didn't accept his advances! 

Thomas Astruc: Ah, but you didn't reject them, proof that Jeremy is perfect for the new love triangle now that Adrien and Marinette are together.

Mylene: (Gives him the mother of all death stares) If you have me even consider cheating on or breaking up with Ivan, I swear to God!

Thomas Astruc: Oh we won't. At least, not on screen. Do you think that you're really that important?! 

(He laughs as Jesse smiles, pulling out a phone, pressing the stop recording button.) 

Jesse: I think that's all we needed. Right guys?

Thomas Astruc: Wh-what are you talking about?

Ivan: You think we were really going to go in here and get an explanation without making sure the public knew what was going on? Sure all our points were valid, and what you said was disgusting, but we certainly did some rehearsing of our own. 

Mylene: (Smiling cutely at Ivan) Me and Jesse always had a knack for acting, didn't we?

Jesse: And now, people will know your whacked view on sexual assault and toxic behavior. And that you don’t care about the background cast.

Thomas Astruc: Y-you can't do this to me! I'm your creator!

Mylene: That doesn’t mean you care about us! Now maybe we can get the reboot we’ve all been pushing so hard for with someone legitimately competent in charge!

Jesse: Fans are more than willing to pick us up. And there's new independent studios. Weeby Productions, Sparky Studios, Artzy Line, all with better pay, and more attention.

Thomas Astruc: You'll be nothing without me. Nothing! 

(The three kids get up and begin to leave.)

Thomas Astruc: I’ll make sure you never work anywhere again! I can have you blacklisted!

Mylene: So long, Asstruck. 

(They slam the door on him.)

Ivan: God, it felt good to do that! 

Jesse: Oh, have you guys heard the news? Weeby Productions and Sparky Studios are actually coming together for a lot of cool projects! I think they’re calling it ‘WeebSpark’. I’ve read some of their pitches, and they seem awesome!

Mylene: And Artzy Line! Gabriel tweeted about it. Soon enough, we won't even need Zagtoon. 

Jesse: You know, some may call this cringy, but cringe culture is dead, so screw them! Ivan: And... since Miraculous Ladybug is now on Disney Plus, I hear that we'll be getting some episodes from the multiverse that are pretty... heroic? Maybe a few that are villainous? (Wink wink nudge nudge.) 

Mylene: Not to mention some monstrous multiverses as well!

Jesse: I’m just glad this is all gonna be over! So long, Thomas AssFuck!

(They cheer and walk off. Ismael walks in and smiles at the camera.) 

Ismael: Yeah, this a plug. Deal with it.

Thank you so much to Weeby for helping me write the script! She's the creator of Jesse, and we had a blast visualizing how canon would screw him up. The "script" for the episode will be posted soon. Make sure to reblog, reply, post and ask for more. @artzychic27 and @msweebyness

[hosticaaa]

𝒜𝔩𝔞𝔰𝔱𝔬𝔯 ; Cannibalism and allegories.

Al's sexuality is very funny to me because yeah I'm a horror writer of course its impossible for me not to use cannibalism as a twisted allegory for love / desire so we're here with this "I Love Women. I Eat Men. I Fuck Nothing." Shit and I've mentioned before that as far as sexuality goes, people have a very hard time figuring Alastor out and the man really doesn't help anyone, not one little bit ! He has no concept of the ace spectrum so he wouldn't know to relate himself to anything on it which means HE largely thinks he's straight because he defiantly "preforms" romance with women, but still keeps people confused because they stay hanging as regardless most things beyond the courtship stage develop to friendship with him rather than an actual relationship. Read; Queer-platonic relationships but the problem here being Alastor nor anyone he's in such a relationship with have the ability to actually identify it as that so they sit in this weird really good friends, maybe lovers, but suck on the will we/wont we "go further" stage. So Alastor has a ton of "girlfriends" but I'm pretty sure none of them really know what they are to him or how to categorize him, because he's certainly not a 'gay bestie', but then there feels to be more there (mutually) than "straight guy friend", but then you have the fact he has no desire to eat women and according to him only eats men and thats the only kind of lust Alastor claims he feels and he's really happy, if not over-eager to embrace this.

As far as men go its not really uncommon for them to mistake him as gay, bro is out here prancing around and limp wristing it like its no ones business and apparently Alastor's self aware enough to make unsettling jokes that allude to him being bisexual or gay but are actually wholly in reference to his horrible habit of eating dudes (And by preference, only dudes) but again, he'd consider himself "straight" if he had to label himself. Because, also mentioned in an older post, he does have this concept of the fact he just hasn't found the right girl yet and being in hell has kinda removed this idea he had in life that this was something important but obviously rather than giving him freedom in the sense of sexual liberty, he just doesn't feel like he needs to have serious intentions with women anymore, romancing them is something he can easily do with no obligation for anything serious or to even take the relationship to a sexual level, like he's truly just playing all the time. Like I imagine Al has a lot of broken and confused hearts behind him because of this but no one is particularly scorned because he's also always treated everyone so "well" and again the idea of "what even are we" in the first place. And again back to the lust being for men only but uh also being inseparable to the cannibalism which leads one to wonder is Al a very deeply closted gay/bi man ? Did the attitudes of his time period and thus possible social/emotional/mental trauma cause things to be so twisted for him ? The answer is likely yes as I have concepts that younger/human Alastor prrrobably had an idea he might not be "straight" in the usual way everyone else around him seemed to be, and maaybe tried to find out only to perhaps have a bad experience that compounded his existing issues along the lines of his existing contempt for men and his very neurotic need to project a constant aura of power/dominance/superiority ( Something he really doesn't feel near as much of a need to project around women ) and again, ties hard to the cannibalism in a whole different way. Plus we have the concept of Alastor being kind of vain and just finding that no one really measures up to his level of expectation - I just don't know if he really knows what the expectation is because of all this convoluted neurotic shit - if he found someone who met his standard what would he even do ? Embrace it and get normal or, more likely, just move the goal post, so yeah, hes a dandy aspec feminist that's so much easier to say than unpacking any of that.

[levil0vesyou]

i'm so sorry for that monday production story, i hope it doesn't affect you as much now. adults really do say some wild shit and don't even realize how damaging it can be. my dad would point out all the broken and abandoned houses and dirty cars on the street and say they were mine, and i always replied they were his, and we'd start bickering, and then laughed it off, and i only thought about it recently and have no idea why he would say such a thing? i think it subconsciously got ingrained that i'm not good with housekeeping and generally don't deserve nice things (sorry for trauma dumping). just, adults are so weird with their kids and don't realize the damage

(ask is in reference to my tags on this post)

(there's more trauma in this reply btw, fair warning. under a cut bc long)

Thank you, it actually means a lot!! I wasn't even sure if anyone was gonna read it lmao, tag rambling sometimes feels like just straight up screaming into the void lmao

Hate to disappoint, but its effect on me has been increasing for years 😎👍 It's so weird how you can have shit like that lie dormant for ages until you one day go "hang on" and then it starts eating away at you

It also goes really well with her "Niemand wünscht sich ein behindertes Kind" (lit. "Nobody wishes for a disabled child" but can more accurately be translated as "Nobody wants a disabled child") which she only said once and not even about me but basically one shotted me and has been squatting in my brain evilly ever since. Top ten fucked up sentences to completely devastate your disabled child, number 4 will surprise you 😎👍

(I actually did bring that one to her attention years later but she dismissed any effects it had on me on grounds she didn't mean it that way 😎👍)

Yea, that's some bullshit tbh. Like, that's not the kinda shit a father should be saying to their kid, like bro this is an impressionable young mind in your care who trusts you blindly, not your fucking sibling or highschool bestie you can shoot the shit with. Parents give like zero shits what they say to their children, it's wild. And very concerning sometimes

And it would probably be possible to heal that shit more easily if they actually recognised that, maybe even apologised, but at least in my mum's case, she categorically refuses to acknowledge any instances of one of her children being negatively impacted by something she's said or done if we're the ones bringing it to her attention.

Like, I think she recognises some of the stuff she's said and done as not great but any attempt to amend that list will result in her "oh so I'm a horrible person and at fault for all your problems and you refuse to take responsibility hmmm?" spiel 😔

For the record tho I wanna say I don't think she's a horrible mum and especially when it came to material well being/physical health/etc she really did try her best and I could've had it much worse. She was an underpaid nurse raising three children (two of them disabled) mostly on her own while also caring for different sick elderly relatives over the years.

It's a miracle she made it work and while I do think some stuff was unnecessary, some of especially the later stuff that was more affective (not like hitting or anything, the only parental figure who ever hit me was my grandma who did it exactly one time tho even that took many years to process which is how I know "it's okay to hit your kids" ppl are full of shit) which I can far more easily understand & forgive. That said, if your own child says "[thing you did or said] had a negative impact on me" maybe believe them lmao

...yea this is a bit too long huh