#I'm sorry I'm not answering your dms btw

[cuties-in-codices]

Where do you find these manuscripts? Is it like a website or do you find it randomly??

hey, thanks for the curiosity! lenghty answer below the cut :)

1)

medieval manuscripts are typically owned by libraries and showcased on the library's websites. so one thing i do is i randomly browse those digitized manuscript collections (like the collections of the bavarian state library or the bodleian libraries, to name just two), which everybody can do for free without any special access. some digital collections provide more useful tools than others (like search functions, filters, annotations on each manuscript). if they don't, the process of wading through numerous non-illustrated manuscripts before i find an illustrated one at all can be quite tedious.

2)

there are databases which help to navigate the vast sea of manuscripts. the one i couldn't live without personally use the most is called KdIH (Katalog der deutschsprachigen illustrierten Handschriften des Mittelalters). it's a project which aims to list all illustrated medieval manuscripts written in german dialects. the KdIH provides descriptions of the contents of each manuscript (with a focus on the illustrations), and if there's a digital reproduction of a manuscript available anywhere, the KdIH usually links to it. the KdIH is an invaluable tool for me because of its focus on illustrated manuscripts, because of the informations it provides for each manuscript, and because of its useful search function (once you've gotten over the initial confusion of how to navigate the website). the downside is that it includes only german manuscripts, which is one of the main reasons for the over-representation of german manuscripts on my blog (sorry about that).

3)

another important database for german manuscripts in general (i.e. not just illustrated ones) is the handschriftencensus, which catalogues information regarding the entirety of german language manuscripts of the middle ages, and also links to the digital reproductions of each manuscript.

4)

then there are simply considerable snowball effects. if you do even just superficial research on any medieval topic at all (say, if you open the wikipedia article on alchemy), you will inevitably stumble upon mentions of specific illustrated manuscripts. the next step is to simply search for a digital copy of the manuscript in question (this part can sometimes be easier said than done, especially when you're coming from wikipedia). one thing to keep in mind is that a manuscript illustration seldom comes alone - so every hint to any illustration at all is a greatly valuable one (if you do what i do lol). there's always gonna be something interesting in any given illustrated manuscript. (sidenote: one very effective 'cheat code' would be to simply go through all manuscripts that other online hobbyist archivers of manuscript illustrations have gone through before - like @discardingimages on tumblr - but some kind of 'professional pride' detains me from doing so. that's just a kind of stubbornness though. like, i want to find my material more or less on my own, not just the images but also the manuscripts, and i apply arbitrary rules to my search as to what exactly that means.)

5)

whatever tool or strategy i use to find specific illustrated manuscripts-- in the end, one unavoidable step is to actually manually skim through the (digitized) manuscript. i usually have at least a quick look at every single illustrated page, and i download or screenshot everything that is interesting to me. this process can take up to an hour per manuscript.

---

in conclusion, i'd say that finding cool illuminated manuscripts is much simpler than i would have thought before i started this blog. there are so many of them out there and they're basically just 'hidden in plain side', it's really astounding. finding the manuscripts doesn't require special skills, just some basic experience with/knowledge of the tools available. the reason i'm able to post interesting images almost daily is just that i spend a lot of time doing all of this, going through manuscripts, curating this blog, etc. i find a lot of comfort in it, i learn a lot along the way, and i immensely enjoy people's engagement with my posts. so that's that :)

[maddiesbookshelves]

I was tagged by @thesweetcanadianpanda to do this little "get to know me" game so here it goes ☺️

Favorite color: Purple! It's the only color I wear on my nails too (any shade is fine)

Song stuck in my head: Labour, by Paris Paloma, it's so good and it puts me in a murderous mood

Last song i listened to: Bleeding Out, by Imagine Dragons

Three favorite food: There's so many, but I guess if I have to choose 3 it's my mom's alouettes en sauce, Japanese curry and crêpes

Last thing I google: Salma Hayek because she came up in a conversation and I couldn't place who she was with just her name

Dream trip: I've really been wanting to go to South Korea recently. I've been seeing a lot of things about it and it just sounds like such a pretty country

Anything I want right now: A time jump to a few months from now, this way I don't have to live through writing my thesis and then doing the whole presentation 🥹

Tagging @yourneighborhoodbibliophile @therefugeofbooks @profiterole-reads and anyone who wants to participate! Feel free to ignore it too

[tecchous-thicc-buttocks]

tips for self confidence? 💓

random af ask but WOO!!! I LOVE ANONS

i've got one main philosophy when it comes to self confidence and that is that insecurity isn't real.

im a person. if I see another person, I would think something about them for like a few seconds then move on with my life. that's literally how I treat myself. "oh i'm ugly" cool thought that lasts 2 seconds. "i'm so damn gorgeous" lasts 5-10 seconds max. onto the next.

my advice is to redirect your doubts away from yourself as an entire person and instead see it as parts of you that you can always improve on. today, you may feel that you're not a worthy person because you got a bad grade on an exam or made mistakes at work, but try to isolate that single aspect away from "you" as a whole. if you wouldn't define yourself based on one good day, you shouldn't for a bad one.

remember that you are not one thing. you are not just your looks, and if you find yourself unattractive, you don't need to be intelligent or funny in order to compensate for this. you don't owe anyone anything, and you don't need to earn the right to exist.

that's in terms of self-love ofc. for the confidence part, it's practice tbh. approach people randomly and give them a compliment. don't overthink before you act, and just do it ™. it is never as deep as you think it is. ask yourself if you saw someone else doing this, what would you think? and when I say that it's practice, I mean try to do more and more little things until it becomes second nature.

I'll give a concrete example: I've been on crutches for the past 10 weeks and take public transportation for a few hours almost daily. when I get on, sometimes there aren't available seats, and I was never able to ask someone to get up and give me their seat. "what if they have a disability I can't see? I'm only on crutches it's just temporary, it's not my right to ask someone to stand up for me. I don't want to be rude" writing it out, I sound pretty stupid, but honestly it took someone else (who was also standing) asking a seated person to get up for me to make me realize I'm lacking confidence for absolutely no reason. If the roles were swapped and I was sitting and saw someone in crutches, I would be the one feeling embarrassed if they asked me to take my seat, not the other way around.

all of this to say that it's always worse in your head than it really is. write out your fear or say it out loud or just verbalize it in your mind and you'll realize how silly it is. I believe that self-confidence is exaggerated nowadays because everything is about the self and the way you're perceived by others, but it really isn't. yeah I'm not the most eloquent person out there. I tend to talk too much when I should really keep things to myself. so what? what's so wrong with that? I work on myself and hope to get better at it someday, but I know my worth. on a fundamental level, I know I'll never be satisfied with myself, but I never equate that with what I am or what I deserve, and that's the essential message of all of this. love isn't about cherishing something perfect and neither is self-love. now read that sentence again.

ty for your ask anon, and I hope whoever you're asking this q for, got even a crumb of what I said and it helped them a little. I'd tell you that you're gorgeous and slay and all that jazz but I think it's more pertinent to tell you that someone, somewhere in this world is creating an oc that looks and acts just like you, wanting to BE you. have a GREAT day and remember to commit tax fraud cutely while hydrating your veins.

[psylocke142]

I'll wait for you.

Sana x fem!reader

synopsis: You and Sana have an on/off relationship. You broke up again two weeks ago. Then you begin to talk at a school event again.

w/c: 2.4k

warnings: angst; hopeless romantic; no happy endings here; on/off relationship; more angst; complicated relationship; even more complicated feelings; smoking

a/n: i am trying something new here. i have never written or posted anything before, so bare with me if you decide to check this out. i just felt like trying something here. btw i love sana and i apologize if she seems like the "bad guy" in this fic. :) DMs and asks open to suggestions and feedback.

------------------------------------------------------

You're currently back home, sitting on the roof of this shitty old house. It's been over an hour and the sun is starting to set. However, you can't seem to find the motivation to go back inside. You've been looking back at these past months. Lighting up a cigarette and inhaling a lung full of smoke as you try to figure out where it all went wrong. You're afraid you already know the answer, but one can fake obliviousness.

-- Flashback --

It's been weeks since you were last on good terms. If only you can explain or express how deeply that crushes your heart.

Thursday was open mic night for school. You had finished classes early that day and rushed out of your part-time at the restaurant.

Sana was there along with your friends. You rushed into the cafe, where the open mic was being held. It was crowded.

Anxiety began to rise and take over your body, heart hammering against your chest.

Whether it was from the thought of performing in front of everyone or the thought of seeing Sana, you had no clue.

You had entered through the side entrance. Automatically you searched for her face, wondering if she really did decide to come see you perform.

Sana: of course I'm gonna go!

Y/N: really? you don't have to

Sana: yes i do!

Y/N: ...ok then

Sana: will you be happy if i go?  i mean... do you want me to?

Y/N: ...yea i want you there

Sana: ...

Y/N: ...

Sana: i'm sorry y/n...it's ok if you don't want me to go

Sana: i know things have been weir-

Y/N: please come sana

Y/N: really, i mean it

Sana: oh...ok!

Y/N: ok

As you moved through the crowd you saw the face you've longed for. The person you had been missing. Sana.

She wasn't alone. She was walking next to Momo. The both of them had classes all day so they still had their book bags on them. Their backs were facing you as you approached them. You had an idea.

You walked up to the two girls, making sure to go unnoticed. Then you suddenly yanked on their backpacks lightly while yelling, "I can't do this." Blabbering whatever came to mind first.

Both girls turned around with a scare, Momo screaming loudly of course.

After the initial shock wore off. Sana replied, "What happened?" meanwhile Momo was hitting your shoulder cursing at you.

"I can't do this. I don't think I can go up there."

Despite the punches you were receiving from Momo you were solely focused on Sana. Your gazes met and locked. Sana reached out for your hand to calm your anxiety. Old habits. But you weren't opposed and you didn't feel like pulling back either.

It had been a few days since you both last spoke. Two weeks since you broke up. You would pass each other at school, sharing some of the same classes. But things were a bit different. Post breakup. You texted every once in a while trying to remain friends. Trying to remain in each other's lives. It wasn't the same.

Even though you had broken up, your presence wasn't unwelcomed by Sana. The two of you remained close during the beginning. Sitting down next to each other as you watched the first events. Momo tagged along but stayed a bit behind. You tried playing it cool at first, keeping a slight distance. There's never been any awkwardness between the two of you, so conversation came easily. Almost like nothing ever happened. Almost.

There was a shift in Sana. She went quiet and appeared to be focused on the current musical act, but her face showed she was debating something inside her head. You could tell it was something serious by the way she was chewing on her bottom lip.

You can't recall Sana's exact words. She had leaned close into your side. Her front touching your shoulder. Breath tickling your ear as she whispered, "I miss you y/n/n."

"Take me back y/n..."

"Please."

You turned around to meet her face. The sudden shift in Sana caught you off guard. Not expecting this sudden topic. You regained focus quickly, shifting to Sana's features that were just an inch away. She had a soft, sad smile. Her eyes pleading. Sana was your weakness. Your everything. You couldn't ever say no to her. So you met her eyes and gave her a slight nod while softly smiling at her. Sana's smile grew and she gave you a small peck on the cheek.

The rest of that night was great. Until Sana disappeared.

She had gone off somewhere with Nayeon and Jihyo. The anxiety had returned. This time you were sure that it was about performing later that night. You wanted to run away. Your hands began to sweat and you searched for Sana.

Professor Park came up to you, asked you when you wanted to go up. Currently it was the second open mic participant on stage. He said you could go third or last for the open mic. "I'll go third. I don't want to end it weak." Professor Park laughed at your comment, thinking you were joking. You were joking. Partially.

Sana came up to you as your conversation with the professor ended. When he left you started complaining and pretended you were going to leave. You knew Sana would beg you to stay. She held onto your hands trying to calm you down.

You were up next and had begun to really get nervous. Performances and public speaking just aren't your thing.

The host called up your name. Your hands started to shake. Heart pounded in your ears. You parted from Sana, she slowly let your hands go. You hesitated letting go. You wanted to take her with you.

As you walked up to the stage you heard cheering and applause. You turned to look at the crowd. There you recognized Momo, Mina, Dahyun, Chaeyoung, and Tzuyu cheering loudly. You took the mic and mumbled that you weren't prepared. Though you don't know if you said it loud enough for everyone to have heard. Hopefully no one had caught that.

You recited your poem's title and said it incorrectly. You mentally slapped yourself, but you rectified yourself and restated the title. You continued with your poem. Your voice, hands, and legs weren't as shaky as the previous performances in class. You heard this one guy in the crowd blurt, "Shiiiiiiiitt" as you read through the final lines of your poem.

At the end there was a small hesitation for the applause because of the sudden twist in your work. That was your intention. The applause and cheers came soon. Especially from your friends. You turned to glance at them and saw Nayeon, Jeongyeon, and Jihyo pretending to wipe tears from their eyes as they "cried" on each other's shoulders. Competing with each other on who could seem the most realistic.

You got down the stage. Hurriedly walked down the middle towards the back of the cafe. To Sana. As soon as you reached her she opened her arms. You wrapped your arms around her. Sana gently rubbed your back as you held tightly onto her. "I'm so proud of you baby" she cooed.

Sana let go and slightly pushed you off to grab a hold of your hand. She led you to a secluded area of the cafe. Then she palmed your face and grabbed the back of your neck to pull you into a kiss.

You had missed the feeling of her soft lips.

But like all good things, it came to an end.

Nighttime came quicker than you wanted it to. You were now back in your dorm. All you wanted was to lay in bed and relax. The rollercoaster of emotions draining your energy. But the ride still wasn't over. You were sat up in bed, on the phone with Sana.

She wanted to break up again. She had just asked to get back together a couple hours ago but here you were. Sana asked for space once again. Explaining that she had been dealing with insecurities, didn't know who she was, and had other personal issues. She needed time to find herself and figure things out for herself. As hard as you tried to reassure her, tell her she was perfect, give her nothing but love she insisted she needed space. You respected her decision.

That Friday night felt like it would never end. Felt like you couldn't catch a break. You felt nothing and everything at the same time.

Word was out that you and Sana broke up. Again. How everyone found out, you don't know. You were sitting in the common room before class with Momo and Jeongyeon. They were bickering about some nonsense. You didn't have it in you to join them. So you pretended to read your English textbook. Sana entered the common room. She headed straight towards Miyeon, who was across the room, to ask her about upcoming finals. You couldn't stop yourself from looking at her. That was when Nayeon and Jihyo joined your table.

Nayeon shoved your shoulder, "Why aren't you with your girl?"

"She's not my girl," you whispered.

Somehow Momo and Jeongyeon who were bickering the entire time with Jihyo included, who joined in as soon as she sat down, managed to hear and quieted down. They all looked at you, their eyes a mix of pity and sadness. This wasn't anything new to them but it still saddened them to hear the news.

Nayeon had always been supportive of you and Sana. She was the one who introduced you to one another. So she couldn't help but to gently ask, "Why?"

As you remembered all of yesterday's events, Sana whispering to take her back. Holding her hands again. Being wrapped in her arms. Her soft warm lips. Her warm smile and gentle eyes. Being comforted by her. Having her close. The long conversation you had over the phone. The break up. The space she wanted. You felt your chest contort and rip in two.

"I don't know."

"Well, I do know but I just don't want to say."

It was clear what Sana wanted. She made sure of that. You just couldn't explain that to Nayeon and the others without breaking. Thankfully, they seemed to have understood that.

"Hey, we get it. It'll be alright y/n/n." Jeongyeon calmly said as she wrapped an arm around your shoulder.

"C'mon now let's head to class."

All of you got up and started to head for class.

Throughout the day you dragged yourself from class to class. Trying to forget about Sana. You were failing miserably. You decided to head to the restroom to splash some water on your face. See if that would help.

As you were about to push the restroom door it was suddenly pulled open from the other side. You looked up to find Sana, surprised to see you. Your eyes met and you felt your heart clench. You weren't thinking. Your brain stopped working and your heart started going into overdrive, so you jokingly muttered, "Excuse me...I'm just going in for a quick cry" as you squeezed beside Sana to enter.

Sana quickly turned around and headed towards you. Shutting the door in the process.

You felt a hand take a hold of your wrist pulling you back. You didn't expect Sana to follow you in. You really did feel like crying now.

Sana studied you. You couldn't meet her gaze.

She apologized and you couldn't conjure up a response. You just stood there staring at the floor. Brain still not functioning. Heart still in overdrive, wanting nothing but Sana. Your heart fought with itself inside your ribcage. The hammering and ache screaming to run and stay.

Then she pulled you into her arms. As much as you wanted to cry mere seconds ago you couldn't. Your heart was rushing with a mix of emotions, but the fight inside from earlier had subsided. You just let yourself sink into Sana for the moment. You wanted to kiss her. So you pulled back a little and leaned in. Halfway through you felt Sana's arms begin to come up your shoulders. Getting ready to push you back. It was then you realized you shouldn't, so instead you swiftly glided your head to lean on Sana's shoulder. You couldn't help but let out a defeated sigh. Your heart sunk so low.

A pair of hands lifted to caress the back of your neck. Sana guided your head up and leaned in. The kiss was soft, it was more than a peck but still it felt too short. You had gotten what you wanted, but you didn't know how to feel about that.

Sana pulled back and softly palmed the side of your face caressing you with a sad smile. You tried reciprocating as best as you could, but your smile was much smaller and weaker than Sana's. Then she exited the restroom. Leaving you there. You stood there for a while. You couldn't stop replaying what just happened. You felt so stupid. Lost.

-- End of Flashback --

The sun has fully set. Your thoughts are still filled with Sana. Will she ever come back? It's been at least half a year since then. You still see her around campus but she's always glued to Miyeon's hip. Any and all attempts to get her to talk to you are intercepted by her best friend. Sana also makes an effort in ignoring you. If you pass each other in the hall she practically sprints away with her head down. Or she feigns to be doing something on her phone. Face immensely close to her phone trying to block her face from your sight. If you catch her staring at you she turns away instantly. If she's hanging out with Momo, Nayeon, or any of your other friends she makes an excuse to leave. Never acknowledging your presence. She practically runs from you. It left you dumbfounded the first couple of times. Leaving the others to apologize on Sana's behalf. You couldn't handle the pain all of Sana's actions caused you. So you stopped trying to reach out or get close. You accepted the distance she wanted to create.

Now you just feel a hollow cavern that continues to grow inside your chest as more time passes. At this point your ribcage feels sore from the constant fight and ache your heart has been through. All you could do is sigh as you put out the remaining bud of the cigarette you had lit up. Lazily you brush yourself off to head back inside.

"I'll wait until you're ready."

[haveateadude]

bleak horizons

summary *. ⋆ ⋆·˚ yeah, okay. maybe you're sad.

warnings *. ⋆ ⋆·˚ depression, self-harm, mommy issues (dw there's A LOT of fluff and cuddles and hugging and it all ends up alright) this is just talked about but it can still be triggering!!!!! pls take care of yourselves!!!!!!!! my dms are open :)

author notes *. ⋆ ⋆·˚ wasn't planning on posting this but i love validation. also, this is not like cannon ellie i guess?? i did a really bad characterization bc i used this as a vent and i just wanted comfort lmao. hope this still makes y'all feel seen or fucking something. btw this first part is really boring hehe, i wrote this when i was in a rush and in a train and i was tired and sad so i don't mind if it flops lol

i hate this so much idk why i'm posting this as my first pots. aghh. here u go ig. don't hate on me. bye.

(not proofread, sorry abt that)

pt1 — pt2 — pt3

you look so out of it

pull it together

we can love you

forever and ever

I've recently moved in with Ellie after weeks of looking for someone to move in.

I had checked other apartments, but this was the one that didn't smell like there was a corpse under my feet, hidden from the light beneath the floor and it didn't look like it was haunted by ghosts. The walls weren't chipping away, also, so that was a plus. There's no denying that getting used to living with someone else was difficult, but it was the only alternative to live away from my parents. Not to mention I had developed feelings for Ellie—she's beautiful, with those eyes and auburn hair, and her tattoos just make her look fucking badass.

After a few weeks, I settled in with her: we both have a routine, and established unspoken rules, and now it's comfortable living with her.

Tonight was a lovely night—I had already finished everything I had to do, and I didn't have an exam until next week, probably—until I got a call from my mother. I know I can't run away from this one. She always threatens to unroll me from college and take me home when I don't answer her calls. And I know she's capable of doing so.

“Hello?” I said as I went out to the kitchen, to take a glass of water.

“You know, most people say something sweet when they answer their mother.”

I roll my eyes, even if she can't see me. It was just a fucking hello.

“What happened, Mom?” I ask, not wanting to fight.

She takes a second to answer, “Well—I was looking at some resources and there are a lot near your area…”

She takes a second to answer, “Well—I was looking at some resources and there are a lot near your area…”

“Resources about what?”

“Therapy. Conversion therapy.”

It takes all of myself not to gasp, or cry. I don't know. I hear Ellie going out of her room, and walking towards the kitchen. I don't care if she's here; I haven't been caring about anything these past few days.

“Okay,” Is all you say. I don't know how to answer, or what to do. I leave the glass on the aisle with trembling hands.

“That's all you have to say?”

“I—I don't know what you want me to say.”

“‘Thank you’, maybe?” I stay quiet, I don't want to thank her, I don't want her to speak to me ever again. “You could also get therapy for, you know…”

“For what, mother?”

“The cutting. Your scars—I always thought they looked repulsive. No one is going to lov—”

I hung up before she could say anything else. I hate her. I hate my mother. I can't even believe she's a mother, let alone mine. I suddenly feel the need to hurt, and I hate to admit it, but my mother has always been right about the way they look—so I just shut my eyes and try to breathe. It always helps—deep breathing, that is. I have to remind myself that I'm clean. I've been clean for months. Maybe even a year, I lost count.

“You okay?”

Ellie's voice almost makes me flinch, already having forgotten about her. I open my eyes as she walks over to me and lays her elbows on the aisle, while I rest my back on the counter behind her.

I look at her, with a knot in my throat, “I'm fine.”

“Your mother…” She makes a pause, short enough to not make me go crazy, “Is she, like, a pain in the ass?”

I chuckle at that as I cross my arms, “Yeah.”

“If it gets too bad, you can talk to me. I don't mind. And my dad has some contacts, we can maybe scare your mother away.”

“It's okay,” I tell her with a smile. “I can manage.”

“I know,” She smiles, and I can feel my heart fluttering in my chest.

Before I say anything I regret, I go to your room with my door open—a technique I've acquired to avoid hurting myself.

I sit at my desk and look up conversion therapy first, I want to know what this is all about—I know that it's harmful to people in the community, that it leaves you screwed and fucked up. I don't like what pops up on my screen, so I close the tab and go to another one—where I search for therapy. The real one.

I went to a lot of therapy sessions, but my mother was always behind them, so I don't know if it ever was effective. I like this one a lot better. It should be helpful. It will help, I know that for a fact.

I'm having dinner with Ellie, which we normally do—today we ordered, since we were hungry and it always takes a little while to prep a meal—when I think to ask her about the topic.

“Do you know any therapy center?” I ask her. “Or the number of a therapist? Whatever.”

If she's curious, she doesn't show it. She stops chewing on her food, then looks at me; then continues to chew, and after she swallows she speaks, “Sure, I have some friends that go to the same therapist, so it's completely trustworthy, I guess. I can ask for the number.”

I wipe my mouth with the napkin on my side, “Yeah, that'd be alright.”

Ellie takes a sip from her cup and then looks at me, “You okay, though…?”

“I'm fine, just—you know, making sure everything's okay.”

She nods, “Got it—I was just asking.”

After my first therapy session, I ended up tired. My therapist—which feels weird to say out loud and even in my head—is a nice lady in her thirties who looks like a hippie.

I've realized I tend to lie a lot—I didn't talk about self-harm or my mother. Or anything else, really. Just about the movie Speak, and then almost cried when talking about the weather.

So, “Yeah, it went well,” is my answer when Ellie asks how it went, sitting in her car. She picked me up since I had taken my car to maintenance.

“Okay, then,” she says once the car engine starts. She connects her phone to Bluetooth, and we listen to music for a while. Ellie places her hand on my knee when I start bouncing my leg, which sends shivers down my spine and gives my brain something to think of that isn't any of my shit. “Do you want to go eat something?”

“Sure,” I accept. Her thumb makes little circles on my knee. I wonder if she knows what she's doing, her eyes are still fixated on the road. My heart does the flutter thing that it did a few days back again, and my core heats up.

She doesn't want you, I try to convince myself. She's your friend, she doesn't want you. She will fall in love with you, not your brain nor your scars, and when she finds out about the way you think she'll leave.

When we arrived at the restaurant, we ordered a plate together, since we always share and the food here comes in big sizes that we wouldn't finish if we ate it separately.

When we arrive at the restaurant, we order a plate together, since we always share and the food here comes in big sizes that we won't finish if we ate it separately.

“So, how's work?” I ask when we're waiting for our food.

“It's going well, I guess.”

“You guess?”

"I just hate my boss."

I furrow my eyebrows, “do you want to talk about it?”

“It's fine, he just sucks. But well, Jesse is postulating to—you know, be a boss; that fucker.”

I chuckle, “Well, I like Jesse.” I soon realize what I said, and my cheeks go red. “Not in a, uh, romantic way or anything. You know. Fuck. He's just nice.”

“Just nice?”

“I like you better than him,” I blurt out, which only adds to my embarrassment.

Oh, oh.

I like Ellie.

Fuck, yeah. You do.

Who am I kidding, I knew I did. From the start—from the first time she looked at me, for the first time touched my hand and spoke to me; for the first time she played guitar for me and made dinner because she knew how tired I was.

Ellie is flushed. I can tell.

“Oh, do you?” She asks with a grin.

The waitress comes with our food, and leaves the plate. I look at her, she looks at me at Ellie and then leaves.

I tuck a strand of hair behind my ear and lay my elbow on the table, with my chin propped up in my hand.

“What if I do?”

She bites her lip, looks at mine and then at the food, “The food's getting cold.”

What the fuck. What the actual fuck. Did that actually happen, or was it my imagination? Holy shit. Shit! Fucking fuck.

It leaves me thinking, but my thoughts leave when I hear her laughter after I crack a joke.

We take the stairs up the apartment, and we laugh all the way up. We just laugh and laugh and laugh because she said something and now I'm almost falling to the floor from how much my stomach hurts.

“Stop,” I say when we get to our apartment door. I keep laughing because Ellie's laughing too and she can't open the door. “My stomach hurts.”

She looks at me and laughs. Idiot. I laugh, too.

“Hey!” We hear our neighbor say. “Quiet down!”

“We're sorry!” I exclaim back, as he closes his door.

Ellie giggles, “You're so fucking dumb, I'm not sorry at all.”

“Shut up,” I say.

“Oh, make me.”

And then—oh, god—and then, and then she looks at me as the curvature of my lips goes down, and then I kiss her.

I kissed her. I fucking did. Me, not her—not Ellie's brave and confident ass, but mine. The butterfly in my chest flutters harder when she kisses back. She puts both of her hands on my waist and deepens the kiss, while my hand moves from her cheeks to her neck, then finds its way to her torso.

Ellie manages to open the door without breaking the kiss, and then she shuts the door with her foot.

“We should—” I speak between kisses. “Ellie—couch.”

“Yeah, okay. Okay.”

Our tongues fight, but our souls mend and I find my way to her in every sense. 

[abluebirdsseaview]

All New part 3

-----------------

Part 1

Part 2

-----------------

A/n: sorry for the wait, and I hope everyone has had a amazing Thanksgiving (if you celebrate)

This is a longer chapter to make up for the wait

Please reblog, like, comment

-----------------

Text messages

You

Heyyyy

I had a really good time tonight

Would love to go out again

But like only if you want to

Drew

I would want nothing more

You looked beautiful tonight

You

Awww thank youuuu

You clean up nice

Drew

You got me blushing

Can't wait to see you again

Text messages with Mads

You

MADELINEEEE

The night was perfect and so is he

Mads

Awwww that's so sweet

My two favs are going to fall in loveee

You

Don't jinx it

I'm just scared about going out

I don't want any drama bc most of my fans are really defensive of tom

And like if I move on fast, people are going to be pissed

Mads

I know you love being chronically online

But you have healed and like the people in your life knows what Tom did to you

You deserve to be happy and not fearful of the public

You

True

I'm still going to try to keep drew and I private especially since this was only a first date

Okay I gtg but ilyyyyy

Mads

Love you more

-----------------

A couple days later

Instagram

tomblyth

Liked by 327,918 users

tomblyth loml

12k comments

User1 well this is certainly a development !

User2 they way I thought I had a chance after the y/n breakup 😔

User3 I just know y/n's gc is going crazy

hole4drewstarkey

Liked by yourinstagram, drewstarkey, and 5,279 other users

hole4drewstarkey drew was asked on the Jimmy Kimmel show if he was open to dating and he blushed and answered definitely WHO IS THE GJRL DREWWWW WHO IS SHEE AND WHY NOT MEEEEEEEEE PLEASEES PLEAK

159 comments

User1 it's me, sorry guys

>user2 me when I'm manifesting

User2 DREW LIKED

>user3 so did y/n.... hmmm

User4 he is so sexyyyy

Instagram DM's

Yourinstagram sent hole4drewstarkey's post

Hmmm open to dating...

Good to know

drewstarkey

Yeah went on a date with a really cool girl last week

Yourinstagram

Lucky girl

drewstarkey

Hold up I just saw the user name and im dying

HOLE4DREWSTARKEY???? killer name

Yourinstagram

I love fan accounts

I started following this one #number1drewstarkeyfan

drewstarkey

Liked by 863,187

drewstarkey missing new york

9k comments

hole4drewstarkey who is behind the camera drew 🤬

>drewstarkey it's a secret

>hole4drewstarkey WTF YOU REPLIED

User1 I'm obsessed with the jacket

User2 thats bae

Madelinecline new york seems to be very popular...

Yourinstagram his favorite drink is a shirley temple btw

>drewstarkey this is confidential information and how dare you release it

Sabrinacarpenter

Liked by 1,278,492 users

sabrinacarpenter the girls are scheming @/yourinstagram

27k comments

Yourinstagram it's killing me to keep this a secret

User1 WHAT IS ITTT5

User2 these queens

Madelinecline the fur coats? I'm obsessed

Yourinstagram

Liked by 973,992 users

Yourinstagram in the city

8k comments

Madelinecline hmmm the fourth pic...

>user1 I feel like Madeline knows things we dont...

User1 the guy in the back of the fourth pic

User2 she's so hot omlllll

Sabrinacarpenter can we try some freaky positions

>yourinstagram how do you feel about wheelbarrow

>sabrinacarpenter yessss 😫

Drewstarkey fire caption

>yourinstagram a genius came up with it

-----------------

Hi friends! If you have any ideas for blurbs or even new concepts, send them in I would love to write them!

Don't forget to like AND reblog

Taglist:

@mads-writes-vibes @xcinnamonmalfoyx @frankoceanluvr11 @willowpains @rafecameronsfan @mytimeiswaiting @aariahnaa @girl-detective16 @mrsjamespotterr @thepopcultureaddict @purplerose291

[ghouldtime]

*slides into the DMS*

S O. What does social anxiety for König look like through your fantastic characterization then? 👀

(Love your Alone operator series btw. Got me on the edge of my seat with each chapter!!)

(Thank you!! ��💚💚 I'm so glad you're enjoying :D you all have been so so sweet with it and Im over the MOON so many people have liked it)

To answer this question I'm going to have to be a biiig yapper and explain why I think of him the way I do

Going to say this to start, but I'm going with the true fact that König is indeed diagnosed with social anxiety - anything else I'm saying is based off of my personal interpretation of how he acts in game as a disclaimer

I'm also going to state that personally, the König I write is in his lower to mid 40's. Sorry not sorry, I don't see him as a young dude. Especially not when it's pretty much agreed upon that he's a colonel. So he's had a SIGNIFICANT amount of life experience, and a significant amount of time to work on himself and have introspection.

To me, it makes the most sense that he was diagnosed with social anxiety earlier on in his childhood since it was significantly more obvious when he was younger. Something that severe wasn't unnoticed by those around him because some of them did care about him. It's also stated he's suffered from severe social anxiety throughout his life so that's how I took it.

I personally go with he grew up in a more rural town in his homeland of Austria, which meant there weren't exactly others around during the first few years. "Go play with the neighbors kids" didn't really work when there weren't neighbors around. It was mainly him and his parents and an occasional relative over.

What could be brushed off as initial shyness clearly couldn't be anymore when he finally was enrolled in school.

Even on the first day when it's "introduce yourself to everyone", he fucked that up so monumentally it'll be engraved forever in his hall of shameful memories that he thinks about late at night. School was an utter nightmare, quite frankly, from moment one. The whole situation was too much, too stressful, and too different from the life he had at home. He flat out refused to get up and present in front of the class and wouldn't talk in group projects just for the fear of embarrassing himself. At that time, he was hitting all the indicators for social anxiety like they're the targets he shoots at today.

He missed out on a lot of interaction with other kids initially because of how awkward he was - and having any form of anxiety never helps in social situations. Talking to others wasn't something that came naturally and his own panic amplified it tenfold. Most times, he'd either pretend he didn't hear them, avoid them, or stray as far to the edge of the group as possible to avoid it. Unfortunately this made him an easy target because kids are RUTHLESS and turned him into even more outcast as well which only worsened it.

School always sucked for him due to that, despite the fact that he was a smart kid. No amount of smarts could save you from social persecution when you had nearly no social skills to boot. [ side note but I'm dying on the hill that he's incredibly intelligent and has a bachelors degree (at the very least)].

His parents kept him in therapy to help him manage because without it, he'd be back at square one refusing to go to school and faking a cold just to get out of it. And of course, therapy is a very important tool when it comes to healing, coping, and managing severe mental disorders. The whole reason why he doesn't show such bad anxiety anymore is because he kept the skills he learned and applies them so much that it becomes his second nature.

He's had at least 35 years of this, he's good enough to mask and to keep up his facade.

Another part of why he doesn't show it nearly as much is because he joined the military and was thrown through the wringer with it. Being bullied for so long was a major motivator for joining in the first place, as he needed something to get away from the peers who tormented him so and he needed a new life where he wasn't known as target #1. But he ALSO wanted to gain actual confidence and more certainty in himself.

Joining the military really means you're not left with such things as many choices when it comes to anxiety in social situations. You're forced into quarters with others, have to work side-by-side, do nearly everything together, so on and so forth. He knew that going in but at that point for him it was like extreme exposure therapy, the last step he needed to really put everything he learned in therapy to work.

That doesn't mean he didn't suffer or loved it. No, it was terrible, intense, and nerve-wracking. But he wouldn't have done it otherwise if he didn't want that. Being in the military didn't give him the leeway to avoid what made him anxious, it taught him to face it head on and fight.

Now that he's up there in age and has considerable more experience (and leeway with having a higher rank), the ways he expresses it [look at me finally answering the question] are more subtle.

On the field, you're likely not going to notice it. Because that's him turning the little auto pilot switch in his mind to on when he has a job. The job is his focus and everything has been so engrained in his mind that it's muscle memory. He's, quite frankly, focused on not dying and getting any job done over himself. The joking you often hear him do and taunting alike is part of how he's expressing the confidence he feels when he's in his element, when he KNOWS what he is doing.

If you look closely or approach him off the field, however, it's another story. He usually tenses or straightens himself out when people approach and will hold that until they leave (unless they're someone who he truly knows). Many assume that's a taught habit of the military, but that's only half-true. He did that before then.

Unlike when he's working, he doesn't have a guide or things he knows he has to do in a specific order to best ensure survival - no matter how much talking to other people feels like the heat of the battle, you can't (legally) solve it with a gun or throw a frag and book it out of there. There's no true guide to social interactions and that stresses him out. There's no manual, no field guide, no ten step card on how to successfully navigate them.

He knows things that are normal to say, he knows sometimes what he should say - it's just a matter of finding the phrasing and how to say them. Yet it seems like whenever someone doesn't follow his pre-programmed line of thought when it comes to their talking, his mind can shut down and go blank as he stares, trying to figure out where to go or what to say (spoiler: it usually doesn't end well).

He's usually awkward to talk to because he's running over everything in his head as he tries to think of what best to say to avoid further interactions or ones that could be more targeting to him. And, as mentioned, he lacks the average set of social skills that plenty learn in childhood because he didn't have that proper socialization. He's also still not the best at talking itself and can be blunt and to-the-point, which also doesn't usually go down well.

Not to mention, he's bad at small talk and has a terrible, sarcastic sense of humor that many can't read and it quickly turns things uncomfortable very fast because everyone takes him seriously. It never helps he usually doesn't explain himself all too well, usually leaving it as is as he secretly wishes he didn't talk at all when mortification sets in. Hurrying away with an excuse of some paperwork or something else to busy himself is his go-to after those.

When possible, he'll avoid small-talk and greatly prefers gestures instead. Someone who can appreciate his greater need for silence and a lack of talking is someone who he will greatly appreciate in turn. He's a firm believer that not all silences are uncomfortable and sometimes, it IS best not to say anything at all.

Due to his childhood too, he's not really fond of being around many people and will do his best to avoid it. Unless he has to grin and bare it, he won't. He finds his mind calmest when he can just be himself without having to worry about saying the right things to appease others or to be friendly. That way he can focus on what he wants, think how he wants, and feels how he wants without second guessing himself or having to worry about existing.

He's going to avoid most public settings when possible. Though he can now suitably manage his anxiety, they're something he passes up on. Grocery store trips are something he does maybe once a week or two, if that - stock piling so he has to go to the store less is his usual strategy. Anything he can do himself, he WILL do himself, if he doesn't have a trusted person who can do it better or can help.

Notably, he also doesn't have many friends. He's like talking to a brick wall and unless you're considerably persistent and understanding of his need for space, you won't get far. A lot of people don't have the time nor patience for it, but if you do get close to him, he does come out of his shell. He appreciates anyone who cares enough to actually get close to him and get to know him despite how awkward he can be, and will be loyal to the end because of that.

Another side effect is that he doesn't sleep well. Between the massive amounts of trauma from his job and the trauma from his childhood, he doesn't sleep well as is. But the social anxiety aspect comes into play because many nights, his mind is rerunning all the interactions he's had as he chronically overthinks them. He always wonders what he could've done, how he could've improved, and what they're thinking of him (even if they're someone he may never run into again). Its very hard for him to shut his mind off and doing such usually requires him drowning everything else and making himself not think about that, or anything, any more.

[Another side note: He's an avid reader. Reading gives him new things to think about and can help put him to sleep, especially before bed. It's a good way for him to stop thinking about whatever was nagging him and shifts his mind into thinking about other things he enjoys instead)

Basically, IN SHORT this isn't my full in-depth detailed characterization of exactly who I think he is - the reason he's not presenting it as an anxious ball of pure energy who is so uwu shy and soft is because he is incredibly well-managed with his severe social anxiety at his age and that's uh, just not him. Social anxiety doesn't mean he's a blubbering mess or will cry at the slightest inconvenience and reducing him to that or treating anyone with social anxiety like they're a child because of it does not help at alllll.

He's had extensive therapy for this, he's got his methods, he can mask very well. He's a WHOLE GROWN MAN who is responsible for not only his actions but how he manages his emotions and he knows it. But if you know him and know what to look for, you'll be able to pick it up.

(Also the sheer amount of scenarios I've seen where people think he just would... cry if you took his mask off??? Him???? HIM???? König, "I can make you talk, where are they?" the skilled PMC operator? That one? That guy? Yeah no, anyone dumb enough to do that better have signed their will prior or hopefully has an intensive love for scrubbing all the floors with a single old toothbrush. He won't tolerate people harassing or hustling him or pressing on his nerves. Sure, it reminds him of his childhood bullies, but quite frankly that behavior as grown adults trying that is RIDICULOUS, it pisses him off and immediately lowers his opinion on them.)

To whoever made it this far, I hope this made sense, I took melatonin before I got the ask so I'm in another realm right now LMAO. König is one of my favorites and was the first character I realllly really loved and I just hate seeing him done so dirty. Especially as someone with severe social anxiety myself, it irritates me when it's portrayed just so... wrong and quite frankly, in a lazy, offensive manner lacking any nuance especially in relation to the character who has it. Like just making him stutter and cry isn't all social anxiety is and there's SO much depth and things to work with despite the... actual substance as far as his bio goes

[toythrob]

Too shy to slide in your dms but I need to get something off my chest. I saw how detailed your answer to the last ask about edging regiment was (that wasn't me btw) but it made me believe you'd be the best person to approach

I'm extremely new to this side of Tumblr. I literally didn't even know about edging until a month ago. I'm very interested in learning more about it. But, I've been cumming non stop since I had my first ever orgasm years ago. I've had like 3 orgasms a day at minimum. So it's not easy for me to just flip the switch and not cum again. I tried getting into edging myself but I'd literally end up cumming on the 3-4th edge.

I realised I needed actual guidance from someone, someone who can teach me and hold me accountable, so I made this Tumblr. Since then, I've encountered a few doms/mutuals who claimed they could help me in this journey. But their instructions were always "don't cum for the next 3 days", "don't touch yourself for a week" and punishments if I broke the rules. Obviously it went nowhere because i ended up cumming pretty quickly.

This is just leaving me more frustrated now. I know what I need, i need a schedule, i need someone to let me cum in the beginning and then slowly increase the gap between when I'm allowed to cum. Use my love for orgasms as a way to ease me into edging. But no dom seems to understand it.

Am i wrong for wanting this? Is this an absurd approach to even expect? am i just a failure at being an edgeslut?

Sorry if this is too long. Feel free to ignore if you don't want to respond, i totally don't mind!

- ✨

I‘m happy to hear from you. I’m sure that you’re not the only one in this situation, so I‘ll try my best to answer this in as much detail as possible as this could be helpful for others as well.

First of all, you’re not in the wrong at all and you‘re not a failure. Sometimes people can be too impatient or inconsiderate. I think it’s perfectly reasonable for you to start off slow, especially considering that you’re still quite new to all of this. You should always have fun and not feel like you’re being pushed to do anything.

I‘ve got a few ideas on how you could ease yourself into this and slowly increase the intensity.

For the beginning, it might be enough to try edging just once. Make sure to stop when you feel yourself getting close…it’s better to stop too soon rather than too late. Over time you will get a better feeling for how far you can push yourself before you inevitably cum. Then take a break for a minute in order to calm down again.

This might already be the point at which you want to reward yourself and make yourself cum. But depending on how you feel, you could also stop altogether and just go about your day (to practice being denied) or start over again with another edge (maybe pushing yourself just a little bit further this time). You could even see how long you can keep doing this and just edge again and again until you can’t control it anymore and finally cum.

I don’t know what the right starting point for you is. I could imagine that you might want to start increasing the number of edges first in order to get used to controlling yourself and stopping in time. Once you think that you’re comfortable with that, try denying yourself…for example start with a manageable amount of edges in the morning and wait until the evening to give yourself an orgasm (or maybe just a few hours if that’s too hard in the beginning). Next, try to increase the denial period and/or number of edges.

Regarding an exact plan, I’m not sure what the right approach for you is…that’s for you to decide. Especially after hearing about your experiences so far, I could understand if you wanted to start on your own and explore how far you can push yourself. Needless to say, it’s easier when someone else is in control and tells you what to do (as long as that’s reasonable). I‘m of course more than happy to help with that if you need it 😉 (communication is easier if you dm me but it’s not a problem if you want to keep this anonymous)

And don’t worry too much about the occasional accidental orgasm…you’re still very new to this and need to learn how your body reacts. As long as you’re not doing it on purpose, I don’t see a reason for such harsh punishments 😉

I hope that this was helpful for you. Let me know how you get on with edging and denial. As this is public, maybe also let others know what helped you and if you have some other useful tips and ideas for starting off.

[fatteenbabe]

Omg you're only a senior and already so big?

Girl how did you do it I am so impressed. I'm on year one of uni and I'm 5'7 ~200pounds 😖

I was always a chubby kid but slimmed down in highschool cause of the pressure to be thin and fem, and I thought I'm fat right now 🫣😅

Were you always just fat and kept getting fatter?

Did your wpmderfull feeder(do happy for your engagement btw) just blow you up like a balloon?

How do you attend school?

What did your parents think? Mine nearly killed me for experimenting with make-up 😖

Don't answer any question you're not comfortable with and I'm sorry if I made you uncomfortable 😣.

You are an inspiration and a gift I am so envious of you and your feeder in equal measure <333333

Wow, omg that's a lot of words. Soo, yes, I am a senior, I graduate in a week! And yes, I was always the fat kid in my grade, not even one of the chubby ones, I was usually one of, if not the heaviest, until I stopped getting taller and everyone else kept getting taller. When my fiance told me she wanted me to be fatter, we quickly started to get into it all, and that definitely did help me balloon a lot lmao. I attend school online and will (most likely) graduate online. My parents never really cared about me tbh, they were usually too busy with work to remember me, so they didn't care. And don't worry about making me uncomfortable, I'm happy to answer most questions!!! If you want to talk more, feel free to dm me! And omg, thank you so much for that last bit it made me feel so happy

[lalalian]

hii! i'm not sure if you have a post about this but how do you get original ideas for a reality? i do have some og realities but they usually don't have a plot and i want to create an og reality but don't know where to start or get the inspiration from :P kind of like aethergarde or something

(btw i'm sorry if you do have a post for this topic)

hihi!

I don’t think I really have a longer post for this yet!

how I get my ideas

I’m gonna be honest, I have no concrete explanation when it comes to how I personally come up with ideas. I’m the kind of person that’ll just see a name, and immediately come up with something.

For my fantasy romance novel inspired DR, (aka my Alruna DR) I came up with the basic premise by seeing a name recommendation of Alruna on Pinterest.

It was from this EXACT image:

I mean at the time, I was super into fantasy romance novels (I still am, but I’ve been busy, currently reading Blood Oath by Raye Wagner and Kelly St. Claire) so that def helped with everything.

If you aren’t already a person that lives in their head 24/7 like me, my “”””creative techniques”””” may not do you any favors 😭😭

Oh, I did do a TikTok on this topic awhile ago; but to summarize:

Listen to music and imagine yourself in a different reality.

what I personally do

A lot of my ideas are simply from brainstorming, colors, and photos.

color palettes

Color palettes are a great low effort way to come up with ideas.

Color makes you feel a certain way, and it can remind you of something too. Patterns work well too, but whenever I look at a pattern, I usually always think of something cottagecore or Victorian.

brainstorming

Almost skipped this one lmao. Brainstorming is best reserved for when you’ve got enough tangible information about your DR.

There’s several ways you can do this quickly; Q&As and categories.

Q&As is what I did with Nana and her dollmaker DR, but essentially you just ask a bunch of detailed questions about said DR. The more detailed the questions are, the more detailed your answer’s gonna be (also puts more depth into certain parts of your DR). Again, if you’re having trouble coming up with questions yourself, you can always send me your premise through DMs or Asks.

Categorical brainstorming is smth I do 24/7; it’s also very similar to the Q&A technique, but it gives you a more solid topic to work with. Since you’re doing this with a premise, come up with a few broad categories that relate to your DR. Then, go to one of your categories, and make more categories of that concept. Do this until you can come up with something + until you finish working on your DR for the day. I do this in notion, but remember to limit yourself at some point!

For example, let’s use this AI-generated DR idea:

A colony on a distant water planet has uncovered something extraordinary: the entire ocean is sentient, communicating through tides, storms, and currents. As scientists race to decode the language of this “Living Sea,” they begin to realize it has a deep and ancient intelligence—one that has been observing humanity and may hold secrets of life beyond their comprehension.

(OKAY AS MUCH AS I BASH AI THIS IDEA WAS PRETTY GOOD 😒😒😒😒😒)

So the first few categories I can think of are:

Meaning, Consciousness, and Life.

Meaning is most interesting to me right now, so let’s go with that. Before we head into more categories, write a brief description of each category. It’s good to add a lot of questions in these descriptions to motivate you to add more to each category. Usually I have a ton of questions in super broad categories with almost no tangible definitions.

Meaning: How does the ocean bring meaning to the world?

Consciousness: What do people consider consciousness is this world, and how did humans come to find that the ocean is sentient?

Life: How did the ocean affect life on land and within its water? If the ocean is sentient, what about freshwater rivers? Are they their own separate identity? Is there even any freshwater on the planet, or is there different kinds of water or only one kind of water?

What meaning does…

Oceanic events, Humans, Planets, and Ocean Dwelling Creatures have on the things in this DR?

Hold on, before we make another category, let’s look over what we have so far. When we come back to this chart, it’s not likely we’ll understand specifically what we meant by these categories. Because of this, either come up with short sentences explaining each one (remember, don’t get too lost into one category just yet, try to do this part loosely, without much detail). For the sake of time, I’ll just start digging into one category.

Oki doki, let’s take a look at a category we’re most interested in. I think I’ll go with ocean dwelling creatures!

Now that you’ve chosen a category we like the most so far, let’s talk as much as we can about it (including questions)

Ocean dwelling creatures do have some sense of the ocean’s intelligence. This is how animals migrate, and some unexplained behaviors are due to the ocean’s consciousness. Mutations are also associated with the ocean’s sentience, the ocean’s inner turmoil and bliss can affect the behaviors + appearance these mutations have on the organism. Since the ocean also has a certain moral code it likes to uphold, it tries to reduce its emotion’s ability to influence the aquatic creatures’ in its depths.

Deeper dwelling creatures often are the most intelligent organisms in the ocean. The deepest crevices are home to advanced civilizations similar to that of ours; however, they prefer to remain undetected to outsiders because of the ocean’s reluctance to affect creatures’ development from other planets. The ocean actively tries to ward away humans from its depths by making the creatures below more aggressive and scary (to humans).

Deeper dwelling creatures record the ocean’s history— I think that’s enough for today LMAO

MOVING ON.

photos:

Very simple, just look at a photo and think about what kind of place it is and how it’d be to be there. I’ve done this a lot with individual places in my DRs.

I think the most creative people are those who read often!

Sure, you don’t have to be creative to read, but books do help you with pacing, plot, foreshadowing, and most especially, ideas. Especially if you read books with a variety of protagonists, it’s easier to portray different kinds of people in your DRs if you know how certain people think.

remember, take breaks often, and don’t beat yourself up if you aren’t able to come up with something you like!

[tapwater118]

pinned post jumpscare blauughh

pronouns.cc | strawpage

hiya i’m flower!

i'm plural i think. i (the host) also go by golf ball, GB, box, gaty, maddie, tap water, tap, captain coinpin (<- silly), etc. queer person on the internet with too many names, check

collectively tap/tap water, she/they, 21 y.o. (individual names/pronouns can be found in the pronouns.cc)

fictkin with a bunch of weird blorbos (if you couldn’t tell from the first part)

i like various things and then will proceed to draw them. big fat bfdi/osc special interest mostly (i am a huge multishipper (based) btw so erm yeah)

feel free to use my art and such as pfps/banners/whatever, just give credit pls

let the record show that i am bad at using social media so uh i am probably a terrible mutual sorry in advance

also if i like over explain something to you please do not take it as a slight against you, i am just autistic (as if it wasn’t obvious)

if ya wanna know more, feel free to shoot up the ask box or dms, i love answering questions. i also like taking requests over asks! just note that it may be some time before i get around to your request

(regarding dms, please come in with something more than ‘hi’. i’m not comfortable initiating conversation with someone im not familiar with.)

(also don’t flirt with me. you don’t have a rat’s chance)

dunno where else to put this but all the stuff you send to my strawpage is posted on @taps-other-blog so look there!

things you’ll probably see me blabber about/draw at some point:

object shows (particularly bfdi, but i also fw inanimate insanity, hfjone, boto, animatic battle, team room 125, orb, burner, object kerfuffle, love of the s*n, ppt2, itft, and others im probably forgetting) (oh and idfb fear garden tee hee)

mario

kirby

pikmin

undertale/deltarune

pizza tower

fnf

homestuck

fnaf

petscop

horror stuff in general

regretevator

to be expanded once i remember more stuff

(art may be suggestively crude in humor but never nsfw)

(also if you ask i can always add tags to stuff if you have something in particular you want to mute, i dont mind)

i am working on some cool projects i think you should check them out because they are cool:

Occasionally Coinpin: hosted over at @occasionallycoinpin. posting coinpin, occasionally (the main reason you don’t see coinpin content here all that often)

Book Askblog: hosted at @twotonedhardcover, where i pretend to be a gay little novel for shits and giggles

Battle for Hopes and Dreams: a bfdi x undertale au that puts the characters of bfdi in the world of undertale. tagged as “#battle for hopes and dreams”

Competition for Fantasy Retreat: a bfdi swap au that swaps characters’ compositions and parts of their personalities. tagged as “#competition for fantasy retreat”

BfDI 1990: an unfiction reimagining of bfdi as an NES game from 1990. tagged as “#BfDI1990” (unreality content warning for this). please note that this is NOT an ARG, there is no game or puzzle to be solved, it is simply unfiction

Tap’s BFDI D-Side: a bfdi d-side take, where characters’ designs and personalities are remixed for something new and refreshing! (based on fnf d-sides obviously) tagged as “#tap’s bfdi d side”

BFDI Redux: a hypothetical bfdi season 6, featuring many of the tpot rejects as well as underutilized veterans. tagged as “#bfdi redux”

OSC horror content: i like turning the silly blorbos into fucked up evil creatures. general tag is “#FLApasta” but each story has its own separate tag (general content warning for these)

other tags i’ll use frequently i think:

“#asks” all the crud that ends up in my inbox and also some very nice things. it is a mystery

“#yap fest” for general inane ramblings. i say some very stupid things

“#ultra yap fest” for long posts, including rants and character analyses

“#slop tier post” art and other things that are generally below a certain threshold of quality i hold for myself. i’m probably too harsh on myself but oh well

“#word salad yummy yummy” fanfic stuff. im on ao3 and wattpad if ya didnt know

“#top tier post” “#all the day every day” “#one for the ages” posts that i really really like. usually from moots

“#literally me” fictkin id posts. you get it. no you don’t. i don't get it either

“#oiny” wife

[mulletmitsuya]

Toman Groupchat (everyone's here again, well most of em)

Warnings: swearing, suggestive, mentions of periods, mentions of drugs, mentions of pregnancy

Desc: Mikey and Izana realize the actions necessary for Emma to get pregnant, and they don't like it (also Yuzuha and Senju r gay, sorry)

Emma: Mikey while you're at the store could you pls buy me pads

Mikey: ayt

Mikey: your pussy size is large right?

Smiley: ayo

Angry: there's a reason for dm guys😕

Baji: LMAO

Emma: :(

Emma: that's not how it works

Senju: me personally, I wouldn't take this level of disrespect

Senju: that's crazy

Draken: Mikey you dumb fuck

Rindou: is that how periods work?

Rindou: the bigger the pussy the heavier the flow?

Rindou: holy shit

Rindou: i'm gonna add that to my new song

Sanzu: why

Rindou: listen

Rindou: "the bigger the pussy the heavier the flow"

Rindou: "no pussy can beat my rap game tho"

Rindou: 🔥

Sanzu: what the fuck

Izana: that may be the worst thing i've ever heard

Ran: no, let him do what he wants

Ran: please rap those exact words on your next gig

Emma: guys can you not I'm already in a bad mood 😭

Hina: Emma-chan do you need me to come over?

Emma: yes pls. we should have a girls day :)

Draken: if you guys need me i'll be at the shop with Inupi and Shin

Emma: okay ❤❤

Mikey: you didn't answer the question bruh

Emma: just take large😐

Izana: why r u in a bad mood I just gave you ice cream

Emma: cause of my period

Emma: i didn't expect it to come

Yuzuha: do you not have a calender

Emma: no it's just i thought i'd be pregnant by now

Emma: me and Ken have been trying for a baby everyday for the last 2 months so i thought it would have worked :(

Izana: k

Baji: r you guys as Emma's older brothers just gonna let this happen

Baji: can't believe you said that Emma

Mikey: wdym

Izana: ?

Baji: Emma just told us that Draken has been blowing her back out everyday for the past 2 months

Kazutora: yooooo

Hina: guys😐

Baji: y'all r tripping

Mikey: ...

Mikey: Ken-chin☹️☹️☹️☹️☹️☹️

Izana: what the fuck Draken

Senju: must be nice Emma😊

Senju: great relationship, great house, great penis

Senju: i'm really happy for you guys (when is it my turn to be happy, i'm so sick of this)

Yuzuha: lmao good for you Emma

Yuzuha: and Senju you're literally famous

Izana: i'm literally going to kill you

Draken: ...?

Emma: are you guys serious right now

Mikey: you guys have sex

Mikey: ☹️☹️☹️☹️☹️

Draken: i-

Draken: she's my wife

Draken: for 4 years now

Izana: what makes you think that means you can touch her???

Mikey: i'ma tell Shinichiro btw😐

Kazutora: someone lost NNN lmao

Ran: only single people do NNN so they can feel rewarded for their virginity and feel like it matters and that it's worth something when it's not

Kazutora: yes

Kazutora: let me have something damn

Angry: i'm the champ of NNN just btw😡💙

Angry: wait that was before i saw Rans message :(

Smiley: sometimes you do this to yourself

Emma: Manjiro get the fucking pads

Mikey: k, but i don't wanna talk to you anymore

Yuzuha: "adult man baby cannot fathom that his sister has sexual relations with her husband"

Yuzuha: is that about right

Mikey: i'm not a man baby

Mikey: does this mean the same with Hina and Mitchy?????

Mikey: 🤢🤮😭😰

Mikey:

Hina: you're just mad cause the only thing you ride is your bike

Hina: i'm sorry i didn't mean to say that

Hina: i apologize 😔

Baji: get it Hina, eat him up

Baji: dumb ass, pubeless ass, broke ass, b.o smelling ass, no bitches ass mf

Mikey: PUBELESS???

Mikey: I HAVE SO FUCKING MANY DUDE DONT PLAY WITH ME RN

Mikey: I'M A GROWN ASS MAN

Baji: yet you can barely grow any hair on your body

Emma: he tried to grow a stubble once and got an infection☺

Kakucho: the same happened with Izana haha

Kakucho: ...i'm sorry

Izana: 100 pushups

Izana: now

Kakucho: Izana please

Kakucho: i just had a gallon of ice-cream

Kakucho: please

Izana: your begging will amount to nothing

Izana: do you want 150

Kakucho: 😞

Takemitchy: leave my boy alone 😕✊

Izana: maybe put on some deodorant first

Takemitchy: ...i don't smell tho

Izana: Hina tell him

Hina: tell him what😅

Hina: there's nothing to tell babe❤

Hina: I love you so much more than anything even

Takemitchy: ...i'll go take a shower😕

Yuzuha: free Hina

Yuzuha: you deserve a woman, they smell nice

Senju: i smell nice😚

Senju: and i'm so smoll

Senju: i'm so microscopic

Senju: maybe we could compare hand sizes Yuzuha🤗

Yuzuha: what r you doing

Baji: why are you acting like a pick me

Senju: cause i want her to pick me tf🤨

Senju: anyway

Senju: Yuzuha☺❤

Yuzuha: uh

Senju: one date?🤗

Yuzuha: uhm

Yuzuha: ykw fuck it, sure ig

Senju: ...

Senju: I HAVE A GIRLFRIEND OMG

Senju: GONNA START A LIVE ON INSTAGRAM

Senju: MY FANS R GONNA BE SO HAPPY😭😭😭😭❤

Yuzuha: ?

Sanzu: poor girl

Sanzu: she copes by feeding her delusions

Sanzu: a shame

Mikey: is that why she's so happy all the time?

Sanzu: yeah

Baji: aren't you delusional?🤨

Sanzu: i'm very normal

Ran: oh please

Rindou: and how exactly do you cope?🤨

Sanzu: i don't need to cope i'm a fucking superstar

Sanzu: also ketamine

Rindou: 😒

[burgycreeper405-blog]

hello there

welcome to the pinned post

here we have the list of everything you wantes to know about the me myself and i

Commissions: open (dm me if interested)

here is my commissions sheet if you're interested in commissioning me

Art Trades: closed

Art Request: open 4 now

tho the rules are:

the art requests are mostly just gonna be in sketches, if you want fully detailed art, you can commission me if you want/nf

if you want a request, please state that you want a art request,, bcuz if not,, look I'm dumb okay? just be more specific please (and if you can, please include a prompt and not just a character/ship)

would like these kind of reqs or these kinds of reqs tho/nf

no ocs (sorry)

aus are fine (tho pls send a reference 👍)

only the franchise im interested in (the list is down the below)

btw, im just into ii and tdos, not all of object shows 👍

any ship in any franchise I'm in is fine as long as i'm not uncomfortable with it and it's not the ones listed there in the dni list

okay, small update. do not send me ship reqs that includes taco (i am fine with taco x blueberry, (or this wild polycule lol) and or tacopadlet, tho im 50/50 about it rn. max has still yet to convince me adsklgj

there might be more to be added in the future but yeah 👍

down the below also has the everythin you need or just want to know so you better check it 👍

but before you do

this is for my and yours' comfort if you somehow have one or two or all of these

DNI If you:

- ship tac0m1c

- ship kn1fan (on thin ice)

- hc knife and mic as siblings

- hc baseball and suitcase as father-daughter???? / infantalize suitcase

the basic DNI stuffs; Racist, being mean to people and tells them to "kys" or other mean things, etc. etc.

aight, now that you's done reading the dni list, time for the other chet

it's kinda simple and also kinda messy so bare with me here

you can call me Burgy and i is girl, but any pronouns is fine

my other socials are:

Instagram (@/burgycreeper405)

Youtube (@/burgycreeper405)

and no i don't have twitter, i used to, but no, twitter is like my toxic ex, so if you see me "post" on twitter, that's not me, that's probably a person acting as me but failed miserably

i have a dicsord server if you wanna join

the app i use to draw is Medibang Paint / Manga (the site lol) / Ibispaint on the ipad

to animate, i use Flipaclip on my phone

I am not in any fandoms cuz i am very ✨random✨

but draws one topic for a long while, but as time goes on, i go back to drawing random chet that i like and not just one thing

here are the lists of what I'm interested in (aka the things that I'll draw from most to least maybe)

• Team Fortress 2

• The Daily Object Show (TDOS)

• FOP A New Wish

• Inanimate Insanity (II)

• The Lego Movie

• Trolls

• Super Mario

• Undertale

• Cuphead

• Batim

i have more stuffs that i like but those 8 are the main, and I don't even really draw the other ones that much, but i like em, but i ain't telling em,, so yeah :P

i have a fun little ask blog for my AUs and stuff (tho it's just Lego movie aus) so if you're interested, it's this

@ask-burgys-aus

now that the simple stuff is done,,

it's time for the '🍩'(do not)s and other infos

• do not repost or reupload my stuff like put it in compilations and stuff, even if you credit me, do not repost/reupload my chet

• do not trace my art

• if i seem rude, that means i’m in a bad mood

• you can use my art as pfp or banners, just do not reupload/repost and or trace my stuffs

• if you dm-ed me/private message me, i won't answer it, especially if we're not even that close (unless it's for commissions then i will answer that lol) cuz either I'm awkward at starting conversations, or i just don't want to dm back, it's one of the two but it's mostly the former

• if you have questions, ask it in the ask box, it's there for a reason

• if you want to do fanart, then go ahead, no need to ask, just tag me, id love to see it

• keep in mind, i mostly have headcanons that are not the same as the popular ones cuz, not everyone will have the same hcs, shocker i know

• i don't do with popular chet so keep that in mind

• i hate shipping discourse cuz i find that stupid and a waste of time, especially when the ship they're fighting is not even that problematic as they say they are, so get that away from me cuz i don't want to deal with it

• i don't mind any ships (besides the ones on the red down below), I'm neutral with mostly any ships (again, besides the ones on the red down below), unless it's actually problematic like those age gaps and other chet? then that's a big no no for me, get that thing out of here, i don't want it

let's cut to the chase, yes, I'm fine with:

Rexmet (Rex x Emmet)

Rexmetstyle (Rex x Emmet x Lucy)

and i also ship

Microknife (Mic x Knife)

Knicropick (Knife x Mic x Pickle)

Metallic Salad (Mephone4 x Knife x Mic x Pickle)

if those info shocked you, then that's funny lol

if you suddenly hate me bcuz of that, then that's honestly a funny and stupid reason to hate me lol

tags that i use:

#burgy talks - just talking and or rambling about stuffs

#burg art - for art

#burgy comics - for the comics that i did cuz why not

#burgy games - for me gaming

#burgy sh1tpost - yes, it's a 1, not a misstype,, anyways, thats for jokes stuffs so i wont flood the burgy talks or art tag that much

me personas (i don't have a good ref sheet for them three)

me but object

sun micro4 content

aight, i think thas all, some of these may or may not change in the future

but yeah, thas all, thanks for reading

[superkirbylover]

Hey turns out that weirdo sending asks and shit with your name attached is still at it, as I just received an ask from them with a nsfw image, it might possibly be the ai generated image you mentioned in your pinned post even. I want to report them and the ask, is there any particular thing I should report them for? I feel like it could go under multiple categories (impersonation, sexually explicit content, possibly even harm to minors if it actually is that ai generated image). Just want to make sure I go about it the right way. Also, I'm not a US citizen so I don't know how I would report this thing to the fbi or if I even can.

Sorry to bring up such an unpleasant topic and remind you of this person, I just wanted to make sure I report them for the right thing. I know it's not your fault I received this ask btw, I'm not mad at you or anything, I'd just like your advice. I'm sorry that someone would do this to you and still is doing this, people can be fucking disgusting and I hope they get brought to justice and cut this shit out soon. I hope you're okay, I'm so sorry to bring this thing up. If you don't want to answer this via an ask my dms are open if you'd prefer to answer that way. Remember you're a great person and I'm here for you if you need me 💖🫂

you're fine, thank you for asking! you're not the only ask ive gotten cause of it, but unfortunately as i write this im at work. nobody's fault ofc

report the image to the FBI or at stopncii. i plan to do that when im home since i got it again, and it's illegal. report the account for the image of a minor and impersonation, and block.

[jordynbreeloa777]

Hi. So I attempted an exam in Jan and the answer keys came out yday, ofc i didn't prep enough and ofc I still want good marks. The official result comes out in 3 days, I'm kinda nervous. I checked the answer key and ofc some answers are wrong and I'm extremely nervous now. How do I manifest full marks? I'm running out of time. Thankyou sm btw and I'm so incredibly sorry if this annoys you.

HI ANON! This is called “manifesting on a time crunch” in which I don’t believe in and think it’s stupid. The law is all about deciding that you are the version of self who already HAS FULL MARKS not trying to get it by a certain deadline or date. You can manifest full marks with any method you like! Please note you never need any methods they are just a tool.

Also, if you are living in the end, why would you be worried? Shut that little voice of doubt in the back of your mind and put it on mute. You have your full marks PERIOD because you said so.

Here is one of my post about manifesting by a “deadline” and worrying about time 🫶🏽

Your not annoying, and I hope I responded on time :) Happy Manifesting! (Also im still trying to respond to my ask! Still feel free to inbox/dm me anything else to go more in depth!💝

[jakesangel]

if you don't kys then i'll do it

anon this is will the last time i'm gonna answer you as you don't wanna leave my inbox. the rest of your asks will also be deleted.

your opinion or hate about him will not n never crawl under my skin. i am a kind and smart person who is self aware of her worth n is actively working to become a better person in general. perhaps it makes you mad because you can not do it, which i am sorry for. ive been that insecure girl who kept comparing herself to older people who had it all, but i never once in my life hated on sakine because they seemed like they have more. you should spend that time that you clearly have, on yourself and get better instead of coming to my inbox death threatening me, which is a serious act to do btw ᵎ

if you have any pblm come to me, my dms are open, but hiding behind anon inbox is very pathetic. if you want help into becoming better or how to stop being against another girl, which is society's fault , i'll be more than happi to help you as an old victim of it ><