#I'm not aphobic I'm also aro spec myself

[emerlovesinvaderzim]

"Everyone in IZ is aroace, it's canon so you can't ship anyone now" Yeah right, let's ignore the fact that Dib was literally crushing on Tak in her debut episode and Jhonen said the show would've ended with Zim and Gaz getting together. Also some aroace people can still get into relationships, it depends where they are on the spectrum.

[scr-ppup]

@ Scr-ppup | 🪦👁️

—"Even the divine of the mercy and prayers will not help you..

"For I will still smite your ass to the oblivion's growing hunger."—

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"You hear me, old bastard?"—

> my main is @ Reveseke and that's where I'll be interacting from. Don't get spooked lol.

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> I am neurodivergent & disabled, 06/18 & genderqueer, Finnish entity, transspecies, alterhuman & holothere.

> Call me mainly Koiri or Ashlin on this blog, or Kalma.

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— "The world didn't go too easy on you, did it, Kalma?"

BYF

- I belong into quite a few blankqueer/-punk stances in some way; reclaimed feralqueer, hallowpunk, redemptionqueer, darlingqueer, yandequeer, (ally) rabiespride, eepyqueer, para-health, Beastpunk, mangledqueer, Sataniqueer & freakqueer.

None of these labels will override *my* stances that I've laid in my BYF. Beware of this. (Also I'm going to get all the links in a bit lol.)

I am anti harassment, pro-para - anti-contact (+ a para myself) & pro- safe recovery, anti-censorship & I'm peacefic. I'm pro good-faith / contradicting terminology, I believe everyone has a unique sense of self and should be able to use the terms and call themselves what they want to reflect themselves. I stand with the 4B, land-back, black lives matter movements, and pro decolonization.

My political view is anarcho-leftist, however I do not go into that side much since this is a hobby blog.

I am not interested in ship- or syscourse and I find radical pros and antis extremely harmful from both discourses. Do not include me in them. (Besides I'm singlet thus I don't think someone calling themselves endo or supporting or not supporting them is something I should be "included in" on or concerned by. Pro & anti endos alike can interact if they want, just know where I stand and don't break your own DNI for the sake of it.)

Also, those who cannot separate fiction from reality or glorify and romanticize real-life murderers, S/A, mafias, criminals, and so on, you're not even on the thin ice if you follow me you will be blocked.

I do not fuck with (read: i am a heavy anti of) wrongfully used harmful transid folks, rad./queers, xeno.satanists. white supremacists, nationalists, facists, or racists & ableist at all. (Neo) Na.zis and supporters/apologists, pro-colonialists and -capitalists, pro-cop / blue lives matter / all lives matter believers. Neither do I fuck with those who glorify, romantize, or demonize (or speak over folks with) mental illnesses, personality disorders or disabilities.

Also label lumpers and exclusionists (""bi-spec"", aros to aces, aphobics, transphobic, multitransphobic, intersexists, etc), queer-phobic/anti-LGBTQIA+ folk. SW-/TERFs, Radfems, misogynist & misandrist alike; sexists in general. + folks who suibait, witch-hunt, and harass others or condone/support it.

—"you look like an animal, a cornered hound baring its teeth in front of certain death..."

Themed after a CoD oc named Kalma.

—

Questions are always welcome, but please bear in mind that if the question is asked in noticeably bad Faith it will not be answered unless I feel the need to answer it because it's important.

[aroaceconfessions]

I'm an arospec writer, and I'm not particularly worried about people shipping my aro and ace (spec) characters, mostly because their orientation is made quite clear at some point. The characters that are angled and/or oriented and partnering talk about how they love each other and have a special relationship but it's not romantic, it's something else and they don't fall in love and don't want to call it romantic. The ones that aren't partnering also state that they have absolutely no interest in that.

So in order to "allo-ify" my characters whose orientation and diverse relationships are a significant part of their arcs, people would have to write a fanfic in which they pretty much go "Yeah so I know I said that about myself but I was actually wrong I am romantically in love/actually I want sex after all." They'd have to be quite explicitly and overtly aphobic. I wouldn't put it past some people to go there, but it'd also be very obvious that they either don't respect the characters at all or have zero reading comprehension. I feel like they'd get some backlash at least because they wouldn't be arguing about a character that's subtly coded in some way whose identity the creators deliberately keep quiet about, they would quite literally be going against canon. Somehow that takes away some of their power. The only way people can invalidate my characters is by very overtly and explicitly invalidating them, so there's no way for them to hide it.

[an-aro-without-an-ace]

Public Service Announcement

This is a public service announcement for the alloaro community, the aspec community as a whole, and anyone else who see's this. I've another account to add to the open alloarophobe list! And yes, I would like them to see this so, @baronmaymystery have a gander!

Since I don't want to impose too much, I'm going to let baron's own words speak for them, and from that I'll break down whats wrong with what they're saying.

Lets begin shall we?

I will give it too you baron, at least you're honest! However, I think you missed something when you listed the things you are, let me help you! You're an alloarophobe! How is that since you never mentioned alloaro's? Well, lets break it down.

"Anyone whose opinion differs from this is an aphobe..." Being Sex Positive or Allosexual (Because thats what Allo stands for, lets no pretend they mean Allosexual Alloromantics) does not make you aphobic. Infact, if anything Sex Negativity is the aphobic attitude. Why? Well, lets talk about vocabulary for a bit here.

Aspec = Ace Spec and Aro Spec

Aphobe = Acephobic and Arophobic

An obvious point to make here, is that Sex Positivity cannot be aphobic because of the existence of alloaros (allosexual aromantics) as well as the existence of sex positive aces. Sex Negativity on the other hand? Sex Negativity is inherently aphobic, for the same reasons above. The existence of alloaros, sex positive aces, and even aromantics in general Non-sam or otherwise.

I would also like to make something clear that I often mention in my posts about Sex Negativity. There is a difference between being Sex Repulsed and Sex Negative. Sex Repulsion should ALWAYS be respected and there is absolutely nothing wrong with being uncomfortable with sex personally. However, it becomes a problem when you impose that on others.

Another point, If you're going to respond to this with "They are obviously a troll" or anything along those lines, a reminder. Troll or not, there are aces with this attitude and it is extremely harmful. Not only do attitudes like this make it easier for acephobes to rouse hatred towards asexuals, but they also further the sex negative attitude of the aspec community.

This is an admittedly rare (Because a vast majority of the ace community are lovely people who are not like this) but open expression of sex negativity however it is not the only expression of that attitude around here. The unspoken caution around talking about sex and sexual attraction in the aspec community puts pressure on alloaro's to put their allosexual aside. Its not always as boisterous as this, but its there.

A reminder, that when you use the word allo in a negative light you are, inadvertently or not, including alloaro's and Non-sam Aro's. Allo stands for Allosexual, and that covers us. Unless you specify beforehand, allo does not mean Allosexual Alloromantics.

Final notes:

Sex Positive Aces are not fakers or imposters

Sex Negativity is harmful to the aspec community and I'm tired of people saying is not

Baron is an 🍍Alloarophobe🍍

There is nothing wrong with being Allosexual and you are not being aphobic simply for being Allosexual or Sex Positive

No romo losers, didn't want to return with this post but I just couldn't help myself~ and Baron, if you get this far without blocking me first, have a pineapple! Its good for your health ;3 🍍

[gettin-bi-bi-bi]

is bisexual/heteroromantic a thing? i identified as that for a while when i was first figuring out my sexuality bc i was sexually attracted to girls (i'm a girl) but couldn't see myself dating one. now i can see myself being with a girl but i'm still more sexually attracted to girls and more romantically attracted to guys. some ppl say that bisexual/heteroromantic is just straight, is that true? and can i call myself bi if there's such a difference in attraction?

Yes, that's a thing. Every combination of x-sexual and x-romantic is possible. For many people those two things line up neatly but then there's those whose sexual attractions and romantic attractions don't line up that well. The split attraction model is one way of expressing that if you want to be specific and just saying "bisexual" doesn't feel right to you.

You can also just say "bi" (or even "bisexual") bc your attraction to different genders doesn't have to be exactly the same - neither in quality nor quantity. So being only or mostly sexually attracted to women and having a stronger romantic attraction for men is still very on brand with being bi. Lots of bi people don't have a perfectly aligned sexual and romantic orientation. As long as you are in some way attracted to more than one genders you can call yourself bi. Which is not to discredit the split attraction model above but just to say: if you fear you're not allowed to call yourself bi bc you aren't romantically attracted to girls then that's not true. You can still be 100% identify as bi even if your romantic feelings are exclusively directed at only one gender.

Now... anyone who says that someone who identifies as bi(sexual) is straight... ummmm? Should probably look at a dictionary and then come back to me and try to explain how bi = straight makes any sense other than it being grossly biphobic.

This entire sentiment is also likely coming from a-spec exclusionism bc the fav bullshit argument of exclusionists is that ace and aro people are "cishets who want to invade the queer community". Hence exclusionists reject anything that's got to do/is associated with a-specs - and that includes the split attraction model bc that's often used by asexuals and aromantics (i.e. ace/panromantic; homosexual/aromantic etc.). And since aphobes/exclusionists pretty much short-circuite the moment they see something that reminds them of a-spec people they just start screaming "straight! Hetero invaders!!! Get in the cavalry!!!" (not-so-fun fact: aphobia is often just recycled biphobia. Exclusionists have been using the same shoddy arguments against aces and aros that they've used against bisexuals for decades and still to this day.)

Don't listen to any of that bullshit. There's nothing straight about being bisexual. There's nothing straight about being asexual and/or aromantic. People who say so are just biphobic and aphobic.

Maddie

[skyler10fic]

I just read a post about demisexuality that described me so completely it was shocking and clarifying, and honestly left me feeling relieved that what I've been feeling/experiencing most of my life is normal and ok. But now I'm confused with what to do with this information, like suddenly I'm seeing myself in a new light and feeling relieved, and even more feelings I don't know how to describe.

Yay! Firstly, welcome to the ace spectrum. Congrats!

You can be as into or not as you want. You can fly the demi flag or not, consider yourself under the asexual umbrella and call yourself ace or not, wear a black ring on your middle right finger or not, consider yourself queer or LGBTQIA+, go to Pride, get active in awareness and advocacy, join groups, attend meetups, speak out about your experiences on your blog or other social media, adopt a dragon, educate yourself on queer and ace and demi history, listen to ace spectrum podcasts, like cake more than sex, make a lot of puns, openly laugh in the face of heternormativity...

Or not. You don't have to do all of the things or any of the things or anything you don't want to do.

It's not a competition and we don't play in the oppression Olympics. You can be whoever you want, as involved as you want, as open as you want, as out as you want.

You can come out to everyone or just yourself. Or just a part of the internet.

It's also ok if your labels change over time. At first I thought I was heteromantic demisexual, then demiromantic demisexual, then eventually I came across aegoromantic and aegosexual (which is when you're aro ace but you still enjoy romance and sex in fiction or media or other people's lives, but don't experience attraction yourself). Now I'm just aro ace with the aego sublabels.

And that's not to say demi is any sort of stepping stone! Plenty of people have thought they were aro or ace and realized they were demi (or gray, which is also on the spectrum, but doesn't need emotional attachment to rarely experience attraction).

A word of advice if you do get involved here or on Twitter: Just block anyone who invalidates your identity. It's not ignorance here. It's aphobia. There is a group of people out there called aphobes who work to make us miserable as their hobby. Don't let them. Just block or block and report if needed and move on.

Otherwise, I have found Tumblr in general and the broader LGBTQIA community to be warm and welcoming. You may have to explain your identity every time you talk about it, but once people understand it, they are pretty great on the whole.

Also feel free to ask me anything. I'm not a scholar or historian, but my ace spec and aro ace tags are full of years of resources, memes, and blogs worth a follow.

Congrats again on finding a label that works and on behalf of the ace community....

Welcome home.

[forsythelovesfood]

I'm a lesbian but i'm so f-ing tired of how so many lesbians on this site are aphobic and think that somehow they're superior than other queer people. Like i've been reading some of the asks and they're so annoying. Ace and especially aro rep is pretty much non-existent, and being gay is so much more accepted and known about than being aro/ace, are you kidding me.

oh man anon. there’s some issues you’re bringing up that imma have to unpack real carefully. (also, i’m not trying to say anything rude about the opinions you’re expressing, i hope it doesn’t come off like that. i just want to elaborate on what you’ve said with my own pov)

firstly, about lesbians on tumblr. (disclaimer: i’m not a lesbian or wlw, i’m not in those communities, i’m not trying to say or at all imply that lesbians/wlw in general are bad) imo, i think it’s rad.fems/te.rfs giving lesbians a bad rap/spreading their rhetoric to other lesbians. there’s a lot of te.rfy assholes on here who act like they’re doing the community some great service to the community by gatekeeping (this includes aphobia, cuz a lot of te.rfs seem to be aphobes as well), and since they’re very proud of being cis lesbians and they aim their content towards other cis lesbians, which spreads harmful rhetoric around the community. the same thing happens in the trans community with trans.meds and enbyphobes, who spread their harmful gatekeeping rhetoric under the guise of helping ‘real trans people’. it sucks, because i notice myself being wary of lesbians on tumblr because i’m afraid they’re ex.clusionists or te.rfs. i don’t want to be worried about that. i don’t want to feel like lesbians are out to get me, it’s awful. luckily, this stuff is mostly just a problem on this hellsite, where there’s large communities of gatekeepers. in my experience, irl and on other sites there’s a lot less gatekeeping. irl especially, i’ve always been accepted in lgbtq+ spaces. i’ve never had anyone tell me irl that i was just some hetero trying to invade spaces that aren’t meant for me. queer spaces are very open to a-spec people irl.

secondly, *sighs* people keep trying to tell me that i’m taking away from gay representation. i know it’s important. and you’re right, being gay is much more known about than being a-spec. i don’t know that i’d say more accepted, because that’s not really how it works, y’know? like it is true that gay people get a lot more acceptance, but they also get a lot more hate, since being gay is more well known. the a-spec community faces discrimination in a different way, y’know? so i don’t think aphobia and homophobia can really be compare like that, since the situations are so different. but yes, a-spec people have a lot less representation. we shouldn’t have to choose between gay representation and representation for other sexualities. that’s bullshit. a lot of aphobia is recycled biphobia, which is super obvious here. people get upset about bi characters not being gay (“HE’S NOT BI!!!!! HE’S GAY!!!!!!!! HOMOPHOBES!!!!!! STOP TAKING AWAY GAY REPRESENTATION!!!!!”) like y’all i wanna see gay characters as much as the next guy but even more than that i want diverse lgbtq+ characters; i want the full fucking acronym. it’d be nice if people could understand that asking for that isn’t taking away from gay representation.

i really hope i haven’t crossed any lines here (please tell me if i did), esp with that first bit. i never like to think about it like lesbians are targeting trans and a-spec people, because i know that’s not accurate. it just seems that way because of the te.rf community is what it is. also, i know i didn’t do the greatest job of articulating this, including the stuff about homophobia and representation. if anyone who sees this wants to try to express what i was trying to say more clearly, or wants to like something that does that, i encourage you to do so. 

[nationalharmonica]

Sorry if this rude but?? Aces can love sex too?? Asexuality is a sexual preference to gender not sex itself??? And if someone is offended by an axe hc its probably acephobia not them thinking the character /loves/ sex. Maybe I'm misunderstanding???

I’m actually aro/ace-spec myself. I know we can like sex. It’s more of a common correlation I’ve seen from people being aphobic towards ace hcs - that they often strongly prefer their ship/character having strong implications of having sex for the sake of fanservice etc.

Its probably badly explained since I was so blunt about it. It’s fine for people to not have ace hcs themselves, but I’m so tired of people shooting down and alienating those people who DO have ace hcs.

It’s also doing with the fact that people seem to think being aro or ace completely erases the identity the character already has. E.g. I love demisexual!Yuuri from YOI, but my ass would be jumped on because apparently that’s implying he wouldn’t continue having feelings for a man.

TLDR: I am salty that the acespec community is being continuously snubbed by people who want fictional characters to fuck. Let us be.

[an-aro-without-an-ace]

Public Service Announcement

This is a public service announcement for the alloaro community, the aspec community as a whole, and anyone else who see's this. I've another account to add to the open alloarophobe list! And yes, I would like them to see this so, @baronmaymystery have a gander!

Since I don't want to impose too much, I'm going to let baron's own words speak for them, and from that I'll break down whats wrong with what they're saying.

Lets begin shall we?

I will give it too you baron, at least you're honest! However, I think you missed something when you listed the things you are, let me help you! You're an alloarophobe! How is that since you never mentioned alloaro's? Well, lets break it down.

"Anyone whose opinion differs from this is an aphobe..." Being Sex Positive or Allosexual (Because thats what Allo stands for, lets no pretend they mean Allosexual Alloromantics) does not make you aphobic. Infact, if anything Sex Negativity is the aphobic attitude. Why? Well, lets talk about vocabulary for a bit here.

Aspec = Ace Spec and Aro Spec

Aphobe = Acephobic and Arophobic

An obvious point to make here, is that Sex Positivity cannot be aphobic because of the existence of alloaros (allosexual aromantics) as well as the existence of sex positive aces. Sex Negativity on the other hand? Sex Negativity is inherently aphobic, for the same reasons above. The existence of alloaros, sex positive aces, and even aromantics in general Non-sam or otherwise.

I would also like to make something clear that I often mention in my posts about Sex Negativity. There is a difference between being Sex Repulsed and Sex Negative. Sex Repulsion should ALWAYS be respected and there is absolutely nothing wrong with being uncomfortable with sex personally. However, it becomes a problem when you impose that on others.

Another point, If you're going to respond to this with "They are obviously a troll" or anything along those lines, a reminder. Troll or not, there are aces with this attitude and it is extremely harmful. Not only do attitudes like this make it easier for acephobes to rouse hatred towards asexuals, but they also further the sex negative attitude of the aspec community.

This is an admittedly rare (Because a vast majority of the ace community are lovely people who are not like this) but open expression of sex negativity however it is not the only expression of that attitude around here. The unspoken caution around talking about sex and sexual attraction in the aspec community puts pressure on alloaro's to put their allosexual aside. Its not always as boisterous as this, but its there.

A reminder, that when you use the word allo in a negative light you are, inadvertently or not, including alloaro's and Non-sam Aro's. Allo stands for Allosexual, and that covers us. Unless you specify beforehand, allo does not mean Allosexual Alloromantics.

Final notes:

Sex Positive Aces are not fakers or imposters

Sex Negativity is harmful to the aspec community and I'm tired of people saying is not

Baron is an 🍍Alloarophobe🍍

There is nothing wrong with being Allosexual and you are not being aphobic simply for being Allosexual or Sex Positive

No romo losers, didn't want to return with this post but I just couldn't help myself~ and Baron, if you get this far without blocking me first, have a pineapple! Its good for your health ;3 🍍