#I'm kinda bitter about who she picked I'm ngl

[destinybcnds]

[ got some upsetting news about my job today. Long story short I go back to taking customer calls Monday. I'm going to try to not let it affect my mental health as badly as last year when I went on hiatus for 6+ months. But man... I really thought I was going to get away from a customer facing role finally. Anyway uh... Expect low energy from me for the next few days at least. ]

[comickergirl]

Hi Comicker! I was wondering if you could tell me what's going on in the DC comics world? I'm a fan (more of the TV show/film end of the fandom tbh), but I do try to keep up some with the comics and... Convergence lost me. Lost me hard. And I have no idea who Johnathan Samuel Kent is and I- yeah. Yeah. So...help? Please? Who and what is happening? P.S. I thought I saw you answer this for someone recently but I couldn't find it, so I apologize if this is one of those "FAQ" things for you ^^"

Hello! :D

Oh, no, I actually don’t get a ton of comics questions. (Like. Current continuity stuff. I’ve done a handful of recs but otherwise, I think this is the first I’ve been asked about what’s going on with DC right now!)

Okay, this is going to...probably be long, and there will be SPOILERS for stuff, so I’ll hide it under a ‘read more.’

Update: Yeah. It’s long. And I spoil like. A good chunk of the DC universe titles out RN.

Right, so. Convergence.

Don’t know how far you got into Convergence, BUT, basically: Brainiac does what Brainiac does best. He steals a bunch of cities, bottles ‘em up, and screws with ‘em. (Oh, there’s also like, this Telos guy or whatever but...yeah. IDK.)

The cities were basically pulled from the DC multiverse so there was Moscow from Earth-30 and Metropolis from Earth-2, that sort of thing. And while the cities were bottled up, or whatever, the superheroes were without powers. (I’m gonna recommend checking out Jeff Parker’s and Doc Shaner’s Shazam Convergence title, just because I can.) 

Also the cities had to fight? For some reason? Because comics?

Anyways, that ‘without powers thing’ is kind of important, BECAUSE!

On one of those worlds/cities/what-have-you was a pre-Flashpoint Clark and Lois.

And Clark, being a bit more human due to that no powers thing, was able to have a kid with Lois.

THUS. JON KENT WAS BORN.

And then once Convergence was over (stuff went down, IDK what exactly, I too was frustrated with this whole thing and stopped reading) pre-Flashpoint Lois and Clark basically got to pick a universe to go to (because their home went ka-plooey I guess) and they picked Earth-0.

AKA, The New 52.

And I’m sure there were other things goin’ on but let’s just skip ahead to what really matters and that is:

Totally-not-a-reboot-guys REBIRTH

So, Rebirth kicks off with this big ol’ oneshot thing that kinda boils down to (white) Wally West returning to the New 52 Universe and kinda making everybody go, ‘whoa, hey, did we like, experience a line-wide-reboot that erased a bunch of continuity to get that sweet, sweet new-reader $$$?’

...Alright so they didn’t say that exactly but basically Wally showing up is screwing with everybody’s perception of the known universe, or whatever. He brings HOPE and LIGHT to the grim, joyless New 52 world.

(Grim and joyless here referring to the actual DC editorial mandate that the heroes cannot be happy. I’m not trying to be snarky, that was...that was a thing.)

So NOW we get to the part where I tell you that I am not reading every single Rebirth title, because who has the time, really. So I can only catch you up on a handful of characters, but hopefully that will be...sort of helpful:

THE SUPERFAM:

New 52 Clark finally died. (This was a storyline that started before Rebirth.) And when he did, Lois and Lana (the new 52 versions) were caught in the weird explosion and seemed to absorb some crazy energy coming off of Dead!Clark.

Spoiler: They did, in fact, absorb that crazy energy.

So that’s how we get to SUPERWOMAN, which everyone thought would be a Lois book but it turned out to be a Lana book and I don’t wanna really get into the crazy plot stuff, so all you need to know is this: Nu52 Lois is dead, Lana has superpowers, but they’re killing her. Also, she’s dating Steel. And Lena Luthor went off the deep end in a HUGE WAY. Like. Bald, disembodied head being kept in the basement of Lexcorp way.

Over in Action Comics, Lex is running around wearing the ‘S’ shield because of course Lex would decide to become Superman once Superman died. Also running around in Action Comics is our good friend Pre-Flashpoint Clark, who fights Doomsday for a hot second?

(Confused yet?)

And ALSO ALSO running around in Action Comics is a THIRD Clark Kent! A seemingly a totally human Clark Kent! For a long time, he was an enigma, wrapped in a mystery, or however that quote goes...

Well, now we know that this third Clark is Mr. Mxysptly...Myx...the little imp guy in the purple hat.

There was like this whole...thing. Where he was captured and he thought Clark would save him but he DIDN’T so to escape, Mxy had to basically mind-wipe himself and make himself believe he was really Clark Kent (and this kinda helped a little bit with that secret identity snafu the nu52 Clark had going on...) but now he remembers that he’s NOT Clark Kent and that Clark Kent didn’t save him so basically he’s OUT FOR REVEEEEEENGE.

But IN THE MEANTIME, Superman (the comic, not the guy) is focusing on this pre-Flashpoint Clark/Lois/Jon family. These guys don’t go by ‘the Kents’ BTW. Because when Clark and Lois and Jon arrived in this universe, there was ALREADY a Clark Kent so. They are the SMITHS.

Also, Krypto is alive and well. Thank goodness. 

Jon sometimes hangs out with Damian Wayne in Supersons. When Damian isn’t leading the Teen Titans, that is.

Supergirl is blessedly free of all of these intersecting story lines. She’s off on her own, fighting her robot dad. And also rehabilitating Kryptonian Werewolves. NBD.

THE BATFAM

I am. Sooooo behind on most of the Batbooks, ngl. All I know is that Detective Comics is leaning in to the actual ‘Fam’ part of ‘Batfam.’ The gang’s all here: Dick, Tim*, Harper, Cass, Steph**, Kate, Clayface for some reason, Duke...and oh, right, Bruce.

*Tim is presumed dead but ACTUALLY, he’s been abducted by the ominous figure pulling all of the strings surrounding Rebirth and he’s probably a Watchman dude? The guy pulling the strings I mean. This all appears to be leading up to merging the Watchmen universe w/ the DC universe.

**Steph is having a hard time right now, my poor child. She’s frustrated with Bruce (but then, who isn’t) and honestly she just needs a hug, okay?

So then we have Batgirl. Babs spent some time in Asia, but now she’s back in Burnside fighting gentrification dating the Penguin’s son getting a degree in library science.

You know. When she’s not paling around with Black Canary and Huntress in Batgirl and the Birds of Prey.

WONDER WOMAN

...I only started reading the new arc for Bilquis Evely’s art. I know, I know, I am a horrible person.

GREEN LANTERNS

Jessica’s anxious and Baz needs to calm down a little but otherwise they are doing an okay job at fighting off intergalactic threats. Also something about cooking?  

THE FLASH

IDK man I’m bitter about what went down with Meena. 

(Ugh, okay, now I have to talk about it: So, apparently, Barry was not dating Iris. He was BRIEFLY dating this woman named Meena. And how he met Meena? Well, some bad guys messing with the Speed Force manage to grant random citizens w/ speed powers. So there was a bunch of speedsters and Meena, a doctor at Star Labs, was one of them. She became Fast Track, and helped Flash, but ultimately bit the dust because we can’t have nice things. 

And neither can Barry, apparently. You know.

Because DEATH.

Because COMICS.

...Also Barry’s partner got powers and became the supervillain Godspeed.)

EARTH TWO SOCIETY

JUSTICE LEAGUE OF AMERICA

Bruce is putting together a team of superheroes because people are afraid of the Justice League proper...because they’re viewed as ‘Gods’ or whatever? 

(But I mean. Bruce gets a woman who can magically take on the attributes of animals, a giant space bounty hunter, a woman who steals heat/energy from people by touching them, a guy who can shrink, a guy who glows, and Black Canary so. I mean. They’re kinda scary too?)

...

Okay, I think...I think that’s it. Those are the titles I’m either caught up on, or that I at least started/tried out. There are a few books that I’m waiting on the trades, so I have NO CLUE what is happening w/ them right now. (New Super-Man, all of the Bat books, Green Arrow. Trinity.) 

I hope this kind of helped. And I apologize if it only made the confusion worse. 

BUT WHAT ARE COMICS WITHOUT CONSTANT CONFUSION?