#I'm just frustrated over the way the fandom dismisses Lan abuse while overexagerating the female character's abuse

[tea-cat-arts]

I agree that Yu Ziyuan should not be nurturing, but about her abusive tendencies: It's described and shown to us multiple times in the novel and every adaptation that Yu Ziyuan's abusive treatment toward Wei Wuxian (and Jiang Cheng) was NOT simply "standard for the time", and that she went so above and beyond that people from other sects (like Wen Qing) knew about it without ever meeting her or Wei Wuxian. The Lan flogging, though harsh, was treated more or less as standard for the time, but Yu Ziyuan'a abuse, physical and otherwise, is specifically highlighted and treated as excessive.

In the novel, it is explicitly said that she's usually very VERBALLY abusive, but excessive physical abuse was unusual.

I'm very strongly of the belief that her whipping wwx in front of the Wens should not be included in discussions of their usual dynamic. Those were exceptional circumstances and even wwx while getting whipped acknowledges that this needs to happen to prevent the Jiang clan from getting attacked.

Wen Qing doesn't comment on Madam Yu in the novel, and in the donghua, her only comment is something along the lines of "your injuries aren't that bad, she must not have hated you as much as I thought." I haven't watched The Untamed and cannot comment on how her actions are treated there

In the novel, it's actually the Lan flogging that's acknowledged as excessive