#I'm going through my parents pictures of my childhood for reference

[vexedallay]

I don't know how nobody noticed there was something wrong with me as a child

Its just like - this is a little kid constantly surrounded by the opposite gender, who fluctuates between hypermasculinity and hyperfeminity in clothing choices, who can't walk a golf course without being in pain by the time they're done (with a younger sibling who could), and who never does *anything* wrong pretty much ever. How tf do you just *miss* all of the signs? Baffling.

[astonmartinii]

big reputation | charles leclerc social media au

pairing: charles leclerc x fem reader

they may have a big reputation and they may be end game, but sometimes you need a push from your girlfriend to enter your reputation era

(also no hate to vasseur and sainz, it's just the way the fic had to go)

MASTERLIST | TIPS

f1newsandgossip

liked by user1, user2 and 13,209 others

f1newsandgossip: after ferrari's continued chaos and inability to get anything right it seems, do you think charles leclerc will stick around and renew his contract?

view all comments

user3: i love him and i love ferrari but if he wants any shot of winning a championship he has to leave

user4: i would die to see him at red bull or even mercedes

user5: would he want to be a second driver though?

user4: babes they treat him like he's the second driver at ferrari at least there he'd have a competent car and team

user6: yes ! he has to leave, no one at that team respects him anymore

user7: he should've left a long time ago but this season has to be the final nail in the coffin

user8: all he does it protect ferrari and ferrari don't even give a shit about him it's actually sad

user9: they don't even protect him from his teammate and his teammate's parents being rude about him in the media

user10: for real the man needs to stop being a team player and tell him how it is

user11: i feel so so bad for him because his childhood dream is turning into a nightmare and through no fault of his own

user12: i know y/n is absolutely seething and the only reason she hasn't said anything yet is because charles is so in love with the team that he won't say anything bad about them

user13: i need her to give him a lil slap around to get his head in gear

yourusername

liked by alexalbon, charles_leclerc and 1,309,556 others

tagged: charles_leclerc

yourusername: you and me got a big reputation

view all comments

user14: me being delusional: OMG THIS MEANS CHARLES IS FINALLY ENTERING HIS REPUTATION ERA

user15: and then we remember rep is an album about love first and revenge second :(

charles_leclerc: is this a taylor swift reference?

yourusername: yes it is !! i knew you were actually listening when i gave you the full eras breakdown

charles_leclerc: i'd listen to you talk about anything

yourusername: even the things you don't want to hear?

charles_leclerc: i think it has gotten to that point, yes.

user16: WHAT DOES THIS MEAN ^^ ???

alexalbon: when will i be freed from the shackles of having to take cute photos of you two

yourusername: NEVER

charles_leclerc: is a seat on my jet not enough?

alexalbon: YOUR JET? i have clearly missed something here

maxverstappen1: alex is always free to fly air max (MY jet, factually)

yourusername: when did this become a dick measuring contest? (charles would win, you can all go home)

maxverstappen1: i don't want you to see my dick

charles_leclerc: i should think not verstappen

alexalbon: i don't know how i hang out with you morons

user17: gosh y/n is so sexy

user18: i am allowing myself to live in delusion and after the shitshow that was austin, y/n is initiating the reputation era and charles will either give ferrari hell or actually leave

user19: idk that man might be completely in love with y/n but he's even more in love with ferrari

charles_leclerc: nothing compares to her

user20: WHAT DOES THIS ALL MEAN?

charles_leclerc

liked by georgerussell63, yourusername and 1,204,509 others

tagged: yourusername

charles_leclerc: hola mexico! can't wait for the weekend to start

view all comments

user22: post your team or car? no. post a random picture of your girlfriend? yes.

user23: he should post an explanation as to why his gf was being wined and dined by christian horner

yourusername: ZOOWEE MAMA

charles_leclerc: excuse me?

yourusername: instagram would ban me if i really said what i think

charles_leclerc: oh i'm blushing

yourusername: but always above all you are a cutie patootie

user24: i see posts like this and i wonder why do they always have break up rumours if they are this in love?

user19: bestie we simply cannot be believing everything we read, especially when it comes from a certain spanish paper

liked by yourusername

user24: wait what is this supposed to mean?

user19: any "insider source" at ferrari that has anti-leclerc info is usually the sainz family lol that's why other than ferrari being clowns in general charles needs to get the fuck out

pierregasly: rivalling me with just how much you post y/n

charles_leclerc: ummmm you've met her, and you wouldn't?

charles_leclerc: WAIT don't answer that

user25: so are we just ignoring that y/n was at dinner with CHRISTIAN HORNER?

user26: the red bull!charles dream a bit more feasible now and i am appropriately feral

user27: obsessed with how he's just ignoring the horner thing

user28: i am similarly obsessed with how the media are spinning this to an affair between y/n and horner LMAO

yourusername: he made us split the bill after ordering a really spenny wine :/

user29: I'M CRYING

user30: horner's like if i don't get a driver out of this dinner i will be having a nice glass of wine he's so real for that

scuderiaferrari: let's get it 💪

user31: GET A JOB. LEAVE HER ALONE

liked by yourusername

user32: lol she's so tired of being subtle

user33: TELL THEM SIS

f1

liked by yourusername, redbullracing and 1,450,667 others

tagged: charles_leclerc

f1: BREAKING: charles leclerc signs for red bull racing for 2024 on a four year contract

view all comments

user36: they're MUGGY for the first picture omg

user37: SOMEONE CALL THE EMERGENCY SERVICES FOR ME I CAN'T BREATHE

user38: wait so like who do i have to thank for finally making this happen?

user39: this has y/n y/ln written all over it - the dinner with horner finally makes sense

pierregasly: WHAT ?????????

user40: HE'S FINDING OUT AT THE SAME TIME AS US? DID ANYONE KNOW?

user41: THERE WILL BE NO EXPLANATION JUST REPUTATION

liked by yourusername

user42: okay since y/n and charles have referenced the reputation album so much during this whole fiasco .... taylor swift x charles leclerc piano ballad collab when?

user43: so this is il predestinato who has betrayed his team and completely blindsided him? this is why carlos has always been the superior driver

liked by carlossainz55

user44: not carlos liking this comment

yourusername: i wish he would say something with his chest, always hiding behind his parents and the spanish media ... yeah we know about that and we're no longer under that stupid contract so i can and will say this all to your face

user45: HOLY SHITTTTTTTTTT

carlossainz55: you got the move and attention you wanted stop trying to drag me into it

yourusername: babe there's a difference between you and i, you create fake cheating rumours to try and shake your teammate while your PR team is fulltime constantly having to threaten legal action over you not being able to keep it in your pants

user46: ERM QUEEN THEY STILL HAVE RACES TOGETHER

redbullracing: anyways.... WELCOME TO THE TEAM CHARLES

user47: admin what is going on?

redbullracing: i have no clue but as soon as that man is in a navy race suit i will get the tea trust

user48: so real of you

maxverstappen1: ☕️

user49: LMAO KING

yourusername: i have a feeling we might get on (no more inchidents though)

yourusername

liked by danielricciardo, charles_leclerc and 1,344,099 others

tagged: charles_leclerc

yourusername: they said i did something bad, why does it feel so good?

view all comments

user51: momma does not play oh my

taylorswift: proud 🖤 🐍

yourusername: approved by our lord and saviour, thanks mother

charles_leclerc: do you need a pianist?

taylorswift: i'm sure we can work something out

landonorris: ^^ this is so unfair i thought i was the swiftie on the grid :(

danielricciardo: my rendition of our song says otherwise

user52: she really said FUCK FERRARI AND FUCK YOU TOO

user53: as she should

charles_leclerc: i'm not a playboy but i do LOVE YOU

yourusername: i love you even more

charles_leclerc: NUH UH I LOVE YOU MORE

yourusername: i would literally fight every person on earth for your hand

charles_leclerc: oh wow ... mark me scared AND horny

alexalbon: okay that's ENOUGH

user54: i'm so glad she shook him out of the ferrari daze he. might finally have a chance at the championship now

user55: i'd be afraid that ferrari may build a good car next year but then i remember it's ferrari LOL

user56: so y/n mentioned under the f1 post about a contract? was she not able to say anything about ferrari while with charles?

yourusername: yes. i was not able to say anything they considered negative. many times when i expressed disappointment in how charlie has been treated i was reprimanded by ferrari and was banned from the paddock for weekends following any statements

user57: wtf that is crazy ??? makes sense as to why charles always blames himself when it was clearly a pit/strategy issue

yourusername: ferrari have attempted to keep charlie under wraps since his second season at the team. they were worried about him becoming outspoken like seb. this goes all the way down to his music which they tried to prevent him from releasing. i'm glad he'll be given the chance to show his talents next season

user58: thank the lord charles finally left. this is insane. the reputation era was well and truly needed.

maxverstappen1: kelly wants to know whether now you'll be wag teammates that you can raid each other's wardrobes?

yourusername: of course !!! i can't wait to see her more often coffee dates are a must ( + p of course)

charles_leclerc: i'm gonna beat your ass at padel i WILL be the padel king at red bull

maxverstappen1: i will show NO MERCY

yourusername: maybe this was a bad idea ...

charles_leclerc

liked by maxverstappen1, yourusername and 1,332,909 others

tagged: yourusername

charles_leclerc: it saddens me to my core to be leaving the team i always dreamed of racing for and winning with, but there comes a point in your career when it's time to put your ambitions above tradition. ferrari has always been the dream for me, but the last couple of years have been a nightmare. i never thought i'd be put in a position where i'd have feelings like these about the team i love, but the constant disrespect, betrayal and the treatment of my loved ones leaves me no other choice. despite this sad ending, i am looking forward to new opportunities at red bull, racing alongside an old friend and under a competent leadership. finally, thank you to y/n and my family for being there for me during this time despite the way we were all treated. i know i will get questions, but there will be no explanation, just reputation.

view all comments

user59: he really left comments open so we could drag ferrari

user60: and drag i shall do... that man despite the absolute tomfoolery got that shitbox on the podium and NONE OF YOU SHOWED UP

user61: for real, they're out here trying to show charles as petty but then KEEP PROVING HIS POINT LOL

yourusername: i am so unbelievably proud of you. i know this was a hard choice but it's the one you had to make. today and every other day i will always be there to support you even if no one else is

user62: subtle DRAG

charles_leclerc: i love you to the moon and to saturn

yourusername: you're my invisible string

yourusername: also this is what i mean when i say reputation is a love story with a side of shade

user63: i know binotto let out a sigh of relief that he dodged this shit storm

yourusername: that fraud is SO lucky i was under contract while he was there otherwise i'd drag his ass so bad he'd be bald

charles_leclerc: i don't know how he made it out of silverstone alive after the whole finger wagging saga, i had to hold her back

sebastianvettel: i hate to say i told you so .....

charles_leclerc: SEB ????? BUT I'M DOING IT NOW, I'M NOT WASTING IT (tell christian to give me the better strategies i know you're still the o.g golden boy)

maxverstappen1: you know i can see this right?

christianhorner: and me?

charles_leclerc: @yourusername baby please take the fall for me

yourusername: I COMMENTED THAT

maxverstappen1: you guys really aren't slick... you're lucky i already love you two

christianhorner: i feel like i need to brief PR already

yourusername: if it makes it any better i'm a great baker and very generous

redbullracing: WE'LL TAKE IT

user64: @netflix make sure there's a camera in that garage at ALL TIMES

pierregasly: proud of you calmar, i hope this works out better for you than it did for me

yourusername: NO ROOM FOR PITY PARTY HERE SIR

yourusername: wait that was rude, we love you pierre

charles_leclerc: thank you pierre

pierregasly: ummmmmm tell y/n she can't say that ???

charles_leclerc: she made me see the light kinda owe her everything rn, so sorry?

christianhorner: definitely brief PR

note: teehee here it is. MY GOD my writing block has been insane - i also went on a trip to london and got horrendously drunk and made AWFUL decisions. alas, i hope you guys enjoy this and the race later !!

EDIT: I AM SO FUCKING ANNOYED AT THIS RACE ONE DAY WHERE CHARLES IS NOT FUVKED OVER IS ALL I ASK WHAT DID HE DO TO DESERVE THIS

[scoobydoodean]

Okay so in 1.03 Dead In The Water, there's this exchange Sam and Dean have at one point in regards to Lucas—the little boy who watched his dad drown, who Dean connects with during the episode:

DEAN Andrea said the kid never drew like that till his dad died. SAM There are cases—going through a traumatic experience could make people more sensitive to premonitions, psychic tendencies. DEAN Whatever's out there, what if Lucas is tapping into it somehow? I mean, it's only a matter of time before somebody else drowns, so if you got a better lead, please.

And the last time I watched this episode, I went "Oh cool! A little Psychic!Sam Easter Egg." Right? Sam goes through the traumatic experience of losing Jess, and he's tapped into "whatever's out there" (the yellow eyed demon) and he's having premonitions about what he's going to do next. Which definitely makes a lot of sense.

But when I was gif-ing stuff from 1.03 today, I realized that... funnily enough, within the context of this episode we also have some fun stuff relating to the "slightly psychic Dean" posts that have gone around this year... Or if you prefer, Cassandra!Dean. Cassandra, in reference to the prophet in Greek myth, cursed by Apollo to utter true prophecies but never be believed.

Dean often knows when bad things are going to happen in Supernatural. He doesn't have visions—but he has "bad feelings" and makes predictions that turn out to be scarily accurate at times. Of course we can infer that Dean is just good at 1) reading people and 2) understanding how sequences of events tumble one by one in a row like so many dominoes. It's another sign of his incredible intelligence. But it IS fun to think about Dead In The Water as the first indication of Cassandra!Dean.

First, because Lucas has premonitions, and Lucas and Dean are paralleled and connect on an emotional level.

Dean and Lucas have similar traumatic childhood experiences. Both watched a parent die and both lost the ability to speak afterwards:

DEAN You're scared. It's okay. I understand. See, when I was your age, I saw something real bad happen to my mom, and I was scared, too. I didn't feel like talking, just like you. But see, my mom—I know she wanted me to be brave. I think about that every day. And I do my best to be brave. And maybe, your dad wants you to be brave too.

Dean is able to connect with Lucas through their shared traumatic experience. He's the only one who's able to get through to him—and after a short conversation and just drawing together for a while—much to his mom's shock. Dean is able to understand what Lucas is feeling without Lucas saying it.

Second, because Lucas has bad feelings that tell him the locations where the spirit will strike next, but no one listens to/believes him.

...Kind of like people usually don't listen to/believe Dean's bad feelings.

DEAN Anyway. Well, maybe you don't think anyone will listen to you, or, uh...or believe you. I want you to know that I will. You don't even have to say anything. You could draw me a picture about what you saw that day, with your dad, on the lake.

Of course, this line is just Dean paralleling Lucas with himself and his own reasons for not speaking, but it must hit home, because Lucas begins communicating with Dean through drawings.

Further, despite Sam also knowing Lucas is having premonitions, when Lucas reacts with extreme distress to the idea of going home and clings to Dean desperately, Sam still... doesn't think it means anything. He thinks the case is over.

Third, Dean has a bad feeling that the case isn't over, and Sam doesn't believe him.

The sheriff had just threatened to arrest them if they stayed in town, so of course going back to town is a big deal. When Dean turns around based on a bad feeling, Sam thinks he's just being paranoid.

SAM But Dean, this job, I think it's over. DEAN I'm not so sure. SAM If Bill murdered Peter Sweeney and Peter's spirit got its revenge, case closed. The spirit should be at rest. DEAN All right, so what if we take off and this thing isn't done? You know, what if we've missed something? What if more people get hurt? SAM But why would you think that? DEAN Because Lucas was really scared. SAM That's what this is about?

Dean sticks to his guns, and they arrive just in time to save Lucas's mother from drowning in a bathtub.

[icarusbetide]

Since you are a purveyor of odd Hamilton takes... Came across this in American Military Biography (1830) by Amos Blanchard:

I had assumed the "orphan Alex" narrative was there from the start (and maybe this is just a very badly researched book), but that made me wonder when that actually became the default version of the story.

(Also how can you be an orphan with a living parent anyway...?)

I love my curated collection of odd Hamilton takes...some of them are printed out on a dart board so I can skewer them to hell along with the corresponding historian's picture but the ones I agree with are 100% accurate and concrete facts.

And thank you so much for sharing, this is really interesting! My first thought was maybe Blanchard was aware of Ann Mitchell, Hamilton's cousin. She lived in America for several years, may have been his major benefactor, and he singled her out in his final letters, entreating Betsey to treat her well.

From a quick search it seems unlikely she accompanied him (Allan McLane Hamilton thought they never met in America), but perhaps the knowledge of a maternal figure helping Ham was public at the time, and the author rolled with "mother"? I stumbled on a paper from 1952, "Alexander Hamilton: The Fact and Fiction of His Early Years" by Larson that addresses the popular myth that Hamilton received help from two friendly aunts; apparently there was an aunt Ann Lytton who died before all of this, separate from the actual helper: Ann Lytton Venton Mitchell, Hamilton's cousin. Not sure how far back that mixup goes, but maybe this author heard about this mother who was actually an aunt who was actually a cousin through the grapevine. Christ.

This did get me thinking about how I've never dug into Rachel's death because it seems like such a concrete incident. There is the 1768 probate court transaction available on founders online for anyone looking for easy access but now I'm having a second hand existential crisis. Maybe Hamilton was actually chilling with his very alive mother who is so confused rn.

I also assumed the orphan narrative thing was present from the start. From what I know, the "lacks good parentage, native land, and money" aspect was always subtly present (which is in itself honestly misleading, he was very privileged. but it makes sense since he's beefing with the elite who can use that relative disparity against him). but maybe the "all alone in the world with nobody to help him" aspect was not.

I'm considering the various examples of people being shady, like Jefferson writing that Ham is a man who "from the moment at which history can stoop to notice him, is a tissue of machinations against the liberty of the country which has not only recieved and given him bread, but heaped it’s honors on his head". This was a letter to Washington of all people, so maybe this indicates that there was some general understanding of Hamilton's background as lacking that allowed him to say all this even in consideration of his frustrations. Newspapers alluded to it. In 1800: "And you might find yourselves equally mistaken, in supposing, that the mode of your descent from a dubious father, in an English island would be no bar in this country to the pretensions to the Presidency."

So clearly there's some aspect of the lowborn narrative peeking through, but I think it would make sense for people to believe & say that he came from questionable, middling backgrounds, but still not see him as an orphan. His childhood wasn't happy or stable by any means, but he still had some support from family and benefactors going for him in America. And he never let go of his deadbeat dad for all the good that did him so he probably didn't refer to himself as an orphan. He didn't even like people thinking of him as lower-class, ("I have better pretensions than most of those who in this Country plume themselves on Ancestry") so I'm sure he didn't embrace the Charles Dickens characterization.

I dunno, maybe it's later historians who dug into Ham's insecurities, feelings of isolation expressed in certain letters, and his elusive background to complete the orphan narrative.

If anything, I suppose this further shows just how far back ambiguities about Hamilton's origins go. Blanchard also claims that Hamilton was born on St. Croix, and apparently there's some modern speculation that he wasn't even born on Nevis. 1830 isn't too far off from Hamilton's death; what book/person did Blanchard consult, if he even did, for this info? I also know that Adams referred to Hamilton as the "Scottish Creolian of Nevis", so Adams must've heard from a different source that Ham wasn't originally from St. Croix. So confusing.

But anyways, thank you so much for sharing this with me - I'm so bad at finding old resources, and I would've never learned that some doofus wrote about Hamilton with - gasp - a nondead parental figure.

Hope you're having a great day! :)

[mspiggy]

i wish to learn more about this sault fellow you post about. his vampire filmmaker swagger intrigues me

EEHEHEHEHEH you've said the magic words because tonight i'm gonna be working on my VTM chronicle with tal so i am in the PERFECT MOOD to talk about saul!!! we're basing this in "vampire the masquerade" V5, but it's inspired by older splatbooks like "dark colony" as well as new stuff like "boston by night" and vtm swansong. playing fast and loose and developing our own lore, redeveloping characters as we see fit.

here, let me repost his inspo board featuring art by /@osatokun (GO COMMISSION HER)

saul adam meyer, born 1952, embraced by a vampire biker fertility cultist named owen wilson in 1971! i'll put the rest under a cut. don't expect to see this on saul's blog @horrorhoser either because only i will spill saul's secrets... in a format that allows me to reference this later if need be WARNING IT'S SO LONG....

he was born and raised in sudbury, ontario, to a jewish couple, jake "j.j." meyer and his wife rachel (nee sander). he was their only child, after a number of miscarriages, so he was precious to both his parents. saul was a natural director early on, trying to take control of any games of pretend. he had a great childhood until his dad died in an industrial explosion when saul was 11! he stopped spending time with his old friends, isolating himself until he met an outsider who would go on to become his best friend for life: dickie goddard! (you can find him at @bite-me-monsterman ;3) despite rachel's objections to the stinky, rude, neglected dickie, saul insisted that nobody got him like dickie did-- and nobody understood dickie like saul did! even at age 11 and 12 and 13, saul and dickie spent a lot of time playing pretend-- acting is how saul preferred to see it, with himself as a dramaturge and director. dickie is a huge monster fan, while saul has a love of horror that gave them a perfect synthesis of interests. they fooled around and fell in love and experimented with each other, went to movies and spent time reading comics and listening to music... it was the mid-60s! saul got a camera, took lots of pictures, learned to draw and storyboard and started to make short films. and then dickie didn't even try to get into high school!

after a sullen summer sulking without dickie, they made up (and started to fool around a little more 😏). at school, saul started hanging out with the burnouts and freaks. he liked to listen to the doors and jimi hendrix and the stooges and the who, and yes even the beatles despite how lame they used to be. he got a job at the movie theatre, finagling his way into the projectionist's booth. he fixes up a slightly older wagon with his father's best friend and lifelong family pal phil (who saul feels betrayed by when he finds out phil's been seeing saul's mom rachel behind his back!!!) saul also became a lifelong devotee to the outsider, to the strangers, to freaks and geeks and weirdos. since the age of 12 he's had a pen pal named audrey neumann, an amateur sci-fi author with cerebral palsy who he met through a hebrew school project who became his long-distance girlfriend over the course of their high school years. it's on a post-graduation road trip in 1971 (because saul completed 13th grade in accordance with ontario educational standards) ostensibly with a stop in boston to finally meet up with audrey in person and lose his "real" virginity with her that saul and dickie end up at a gas station outside worcester, massachusetts. there, they get distracted ogling the awesome motorcycles belonging to the mad bulls motorcycle club, secretly a coterie of vampires serving the cult of mithras. owen, the mad bulls club president (secretly a welsh vampire embraced in 1754 by the malkavian elder william biltmore) sold the two boys on promises of hard drugs and occult knowledge back at the biker clubhouse. there, he turned them and began training them for an unlife in service to the ancient god-vampire mithras, which does not jive with saul's aspirations for artistic expression.

as a result of his malkavian madness (itself derived from the ticking time bomb of his undiagnosed bipolar disorder) saul has a persistent "Vision" (always capital V!) that he's compelled to express and share with as many people as possible, which he attempts to do by channel his bouts of madness into horror films! he also has a tendency to delusions of grandeur in the form of considering himself a true artistic genius, which i see getting him a reputation through the years as a mad auteur prone to obsessing over the most minute details and going into rages for seemingly minor infractions on whatever incomprehensible plan he has decided on.

he primarily uses the dominate and obfuscate disciplines, the former to get what he wants from mortals, and the latter to creep around to get what he wants from everyone else. his sire, owen wilson (because he's "will[iam biltmore]'s son," get it? 😏) is a roadside stalker who uses his daddy dom energy to get dickie to do whatever he wants-- something that makes saul incredibly jealous and angry, because he's VERY possessive of "his boy"... only he gets to push dickie around, tell him what to do... and only he gets to be the target of dickie's goo-goo eyes!!!

i think through the years saul makes a lot of z-grade horror movies, sexploitation and gorefests (eventually incorporating Real Vampire Victim Remains!™) while also being a total weirdo in mortal terms. he's more human than tommy wiseau, and cooler than neil breen, with a well-known ego and a propensity for people winding up dead or missing after being a part of his films! he HATES david cronenberg with a burning passion, sees him as a total hack and a complete nothing because he is incredibly intimidated by how they have all these similarities, but even as a vampire saul is less successful! (during the beginning of the COVID19 pandemic, he fakes his own death because he hasn't aged since 1971 and it's getting harder and harder to fake it. his cronenberg hatred switches to brandon instead, so it's more age appropriate.)

at some point saul makes a sexploitation movie called "the daughters of lilith" that gets him in trouble with the bahari, the lesbian sadomasochism vampiric cult whose lore and rituals he got ahold of and used as inspiration for the aforementioned sexploitation movie. this is an idea im percolating for a future chronicle so i don't know how it turns out yet, other than that he (probably) survives 🤔 probably...

[saiakv]

SUGURU'S RELATIONSHIP WITH NANAKO & MIMIKO is a complicated one. My personal take on it deviates from fandom in some things and alligns with in others. This post is moreso meant as a guideline for how I tend to portray it, of course, so to keep it flexible I'm mostly writing from Suguru's POV — and the facts of what is happening during the course of those 10 years. Every rp partner's take on the twins will be different, so this meta will be adjusted accordingly to verses, of course.

In spite of what Suguru himself claims this relationship to be ( a patron, a protector ) everyone in his group knows that he is the twins' adoptive father. They just don't call him such, a defined boundary has been drawn when it comes to how they should refer to him. But as with all things in the new life he built for himself, this too is filled with contradictions. For be it with a bratty whine from Nanako or Mimiko's softer mumbling, when it comes from their lips, 'Master Geto' sounds like 'dad' all the same.

PART ONE: FOUNDATION.

Suguru's own childhood took place in a very nurturing and loving home. His parents were kind people, even if they weren't capable of understanding or handling the potential in their son. They encouraged him to pursue his own goals in life, believed that he would make something of himself; ergo naming him after the excellence they believed he stood for. As with many children whose parents harbor high expectations of them, that in turn lead to Suguru acting ahead of his years and suppressing many typical childish behaviors that were not seen as 'appropriate'. He felt the weight of those expectations and it molded him into a person with a high sense of responsibility — soon after discovering his abilities, he also realized the weakness that plagued his own parents. They were susceptible to curses and he wasn't. His family home was suddenly too small to house him, his parents too fragile in his eyes. He soon learned to hide his encounters with curses so as not to worry them, to keep his powers an open secret to protect them. Suguru could no longer be himself around his parents, feel their love under his skin as before — so all that was left for him to grasp onto was the feeling of being needed by them.

This feeling prevailed in his formative ages; it's not something he's necessarily aware of. But he needs to be needed. It was the origin of a savior complex that later spiralled into a messiah one with his meltdown, age 17. His motto as a teenager was 'I have to grow stronger, so that I can protect others more efficiently'.

Nanako & Mimiko on the other hand are unwanted children without a sense of 'home'. It is unknown whether they have a biological family that consented to their mistreatment or not. But judging from their background it is safe to say that these two did not an 'adult' figure they could safely rely on growing up. Regardless of how being feared and detested has shaped their individual dispositions, they are still children — there is a deep seated need in every child to feel protected, the same instinct that guides foals back to their mother in the herd. When they come across someone who checks every box, who rescues them from the only life they've known and immediately offers them acceptance for the thing ( sorcery ) that had condemned them thus far, it is only natural that these needs are finally accessed.

This is one aspect of this dynamic that is often emphasized in fanon and as a result Suguru would be depicted favorably as a parental figure. But if we go back to the initial moment that this familiar bond was formed, we get a much different picture.

PART TWO: FORMATION.

Suguru's expression. That was the first image of him the girls saw; and it is no less disturbed than their own — wide eyes, uncertain, they don't know what to expect from this man who might as well be the one who kills them after he was summoned and he is struggling to piece together the thing he is witnessing through his own shock. It is not until after the massacre has taken place that Suguru presents a calm and reassuring smile.

When arriving to the village, Suguru had still been in the throes of his own personal debate, after it was incited by Tsukumo. He has already lost his faith in the system he is serving, realized his part in it and saw the dead end ahead of him if he continued to work as a jujutsu sorcerer — but he has no alternative in his mind, yet. Think of it as, he is trying to cross a hostile river and the girls are that one stepping stone that suddenly appears, making the distance a little less impossible to jump.

Nanako & Mimiko were Suguru's new reason. At least in my personal take of things, of course; this was not the drop that tipped the glass but rather a new incentive, a new reward appearing at the end of his never-ending marathon. It was in that moment that he could finally make his choice, because he had something new to believe in; a better world for these two, who had suffered so much simply for being born stronger. All Suguru had suffered before had sufficed to make his resolve falter; but if it hadn't been for the twins he would not have been able to justify that next step.

What he tells Satoru about it next is rather telling: Satoru points out the fact he murdered his own parents and Suguru responds with 'they are not my only family anymore'. The presence of his parents had been that last branch he'd been dangling from that kept him unable to decide if he hates non sorcerers or if he protects them. So, the girls coming in to replace that pushed him to make that call.

PART THREE: CO-DEPENDENCY.

After the massacre, Nana & Mimi had nowhere to go. The more responsible option in that moment, the one that better aligns with the values of the man known as Suguru Geto, would be to hand them over to the officials, authorities or otherwise ensure a stable housing environment where they could receive the proper attention and care.

Instead, Suguru takes them with him in the uncertainty of his new journey. Mind you, at that point there is no assurance that Suguru is going to succeed, no solid plan and they will most likely have to be on the run for a bit until he can make arrangements. It is very possible that the girls asked to stay by his side as well, but ultimately Suguru did expose them to a potentially unsafe environment and had them rely sorely on him for their protection. ( disclaimer: no, I am not implying he is a 'bad person' for this, obviously he's 17 and traumatized so he doesn't have the best judgement over the situation either ) We could say Nana/Mimi barely even had a choice on the matter of following, given their background.

So ultimately the relationship that begins to form is centered around the premise that Suguru is building a new world for these girls, rather than merely loathing non-sorcerers. In Suguru's mind annihilating the non-sorcerer population is a secondary task before building a new world where sorcerers can thrive — by overthrowing the notion of quantity > quality that he believed the world was ran by. So ultimately, Suguru is doing this for Nanako and Mimiko. In that light, the relationship takes a darker turn.

On the one hand there's the brainwashing. These girls are inevitably parroting his ideals of racism and hate without exercising their own critical thought on the matter. The 'love' they describe towards him is so extreme that it drives them to put their own lives in danger over and over if only to aid, satisfy or rescue him. And that's not to say Nana & Mimi couldn't have just been the sort of people to do that, but even so Suguru would have influenced them into 'going all out' like he did throughout his life.

And then on the other hand, there's the fact that Suguru, in thinking he is creating a better world for them to make them happier ( he had already admitted for himself that this was not an option for him, after all ) actively damages the relationship by going forth with his risky plans and becoming more and more consumed with his delirium. Eventually causing them grief and their own demise.

The point of this rant is not to trash the muse, of course, every one of these choices can be explained in ways that feel natural for his character to react with — but to highlight the conflicting nature of this relationship. Suguru holds a very deep sense of caring for the twins, but ultimately what happened back in that moment, was the synapsis of impulsive empathizing needed for someone with a massive savior complex to empathize and devote himself to the cause. And yes, he makes a decent parental figure later on, he has some very positive traits that aid him with that. The girls probably had a good life with him, overall. But the dynamic never changed and it was a condemnation for them in the end; they were the one end of a co-dependent bond ( someone who needs to be needed meets someone who needs them ) the end that was left loose after Suguru died, to deal with the consequences of this sort of bond.

[bioware-bard]

OC Name Meanings

Thanks for the tag @vorchagirl!

Rules: Google and post the meaning of your OC's name (if you made their name up or they go by a nickname, post an explanation of how it came to you)! bonus if you can find something for their last name too

Tagging: @ashenlavellan, @mrslyncx and anyone else who wants to play. 😊

So my list of OC's is currently still short and sweet. No images yet, unless you want to see the reference pictures I had an AI program generate for me.

Dragon Age OC's:

Because their parents apparently hated their kids, all three Trevelyan siblings have very similar names, though the meaning of Kellan (powerful, mighty) is different from his younger brother and sister. The twins are called Keara and Kieran (dark/black, little dark one). They also have nicknames that they have called each other since childhood. It started when they were toddlers when Kieran had trouble pronouncing things and Keara copied him. The nicknames persisted through their childhoods and into their teens, but more in a not-so-nice, mocking way. As adults, they started referring to each other as Ra-Ra and Ki-Ki more as endearments than anything else.

Mass Effect OC:

Kara: means friend/dear/beloved/precious, which may or may not be accurate when it comes to her personality. I just love the name, the sound of it, especially in combination with her last name. Favreau: means blacksmith. No reason, except for how it flows with her first name. (for those who struggle with French pronunciations: fahv-roh)

I didn't realize how similar my OC's names were until last night and I can't make myself to change either one. So let's hope I remember which story I'm working on and don't make a typo. 😆

[personaconcept]

Could you give more depth to the social links,most of them only Focus on Their disease

Well, for most, I don't have a solid idea. But I can give an idea for what's going on for the main cast, and a couple others. And I'll focus on just their links with the MC (if you'll reference the post the other day about everyone having links with others as well), because I haven't actually come up with ideas for those sorts of links yet.

Sayaka and Yudai aren't hard set yet. For Sayaka it's because any big, character defining moments would happen near the end of the story, in association to her dungeon. I imagine for her, it would be very vague allusions to how she felt going through so many foster families. Yudai's will prooooobably focus on teaching the MC to cook, helping out at his family's diner, how he's different from the expectation of him. (In the way that the natural perception of big people is that they're lazy, uncool, etc.)

Miyako's I have a little clearer picture of. The first rank is story unlocked right after her dungeon, and you find out about her older brother committing suicide six years earlier due to his own mental issues. Throughout the links, one of Miyako's aunts comes to Kamida to try to convince her to move to the city to be with her distant family. Miyako debates on it, until she finds out why her parents never had contact with their extended family. They're terrible people, basically, and didn't want their children to grow up around that. So she stays in Kamida.

Masahiko is another one that I'm not totally sure of the entire thing yet. I think I'd like it to explore his relationship with his dad, and the comparison there. Masahiko is a narcissist, but it was something encouraged when he was younger and now, after his dungeon, he's actively seeking help. His father on the other hand does the whole "I'm in the right, everyone is wrong, everything has to go my way or no way at all) gaslighting thing. Masahiko was on the receiving end of that in his childhood now, and despite his 'holier-than-thou" attitude towards most everyone else, he's very... timid isn't the right word, but it's close enough, when next to his father. Though, now taking a second look on various social links in the different Persona games, that might just be subtext through various social links.

Hoshiko's is going to have her dealing with her bullies. Getting manipulated into doing others' homework, taking over their cleaning duties, giving them money, free items from her father's store. By the end of it, Hoshiko stands up for herself.

For Jun, I'm thinking he goes to the MC, asking them to come over to his house and lie to his siblings for him. He's trying to make his older brother worry less about him. He keeps his princely persona up even at home, to avoid his brother worrying about him. Until his latest stint that got him suspended, his brother had been under the assumption that Jun was a well behaved, straight A student. He wants you to back up his story about that. Throughout it you find out the fight that actually got him suspended from school was started because some jerks were harassing a mama bird and her eggs, throwing bricks at them and shit, and managing to break a couple before Jun stopped them. While his reaction was totally out of line, seeing that had triggered his explosive episode. (Jun was very protective of these birds. I haven't come up with the reason for that yet) Anyway, by the end of his link with the MC, he comes clean to his brothers on what really transpired and what goes on during school. To which both brothers are like "Yeah, we already knew, you knucklehead." Jun's apologies to the people he needs to apologize to will happen in their own separate links. Which I will get to in just a minute.

In Shinju's link, the MC starts out tasked to help her with general, everyday things. Getting up to the classroom on the third floor, getting through the admittedly cramped house they live in, going grocery shopping. But while Shinju does admit to certain things she's scared of (being caught on the third floor of the school if it catches on fire, being her biggest fear), she's not invalid. There's plenty she can do on her own and doesn't need help for, no matter what other people say. This one isn't about Shinju learning anything about herself, it's just proving to everyone else what she already knows. This one I've mentioned is story locked, ranking up on certain days after you've completed certain events. And right near the end of it is her dungeon, in which she is rewarded with a more practical wheelchair, specifically made for her, making it even easier to get around and do things on her own. During one of the ranks, the MC moves some of the kitchen things around so Shinju can reach them better, but that's all I've got on specificies. (If you haven't been ranking up with Yudai at all and getting his cooking lessons, she'll tease you for being a better cook than you.)

Avis/Baby Avis are functionally two different characters... except for this. They'll both take the MC to explore the Endless Forest, explaining Shadows and Corruptions and trying to find the source of the MC's unique healing ability. One of the paths they take will lead to seeing the other MC in passing, though no direct conversation. (Depending on when you play through that link, a new player might not yet know the MC used to have a twin and the other one is dead) Nearing the end, like at the 7th rank, you'll also meet a girl who's a few decades from the past. She isn't a Persona user, but found she has a similar ability to the MC's. She's also been looking for the answer, and swears to meet the two of you again once she find it. However, she isn't there in rank 8, nor in rank 9. Rank 9 all you'll find is a note nailed to a tree, signed with the letter M. There's not much to learn about Avis herself. She's a phoenix. She was born and reborn in the Endless Forest. She's a guide for Persona users like the MC, those specially chosen. But she is one and only and cannot be everywhere at once, hence the reason she's only appeared in front of this MC.

I don't really have a clear cut thing for... really any of the side characters with the MC, but as I was writing these down, ideas for some side social links came to me, so I'll those here.

Hoshiko/Jun: After their unfortunate fallout in middle school, they've struggled to reconnect, especially after Jun's poor attitude after Hoshiko rejects him. Jun starts out with an apology. Several times. Because Hoshiko is too scared of him at first to believe him. Then there's the eventual awkward rekindling. Then an event that sparks Hoshiko's hidden nagging/sarcastic streak, and something from Jun's side too but it's late and I don't know. After that, they're back to being good friends.

Shinju/Jun: Shinju is one of the few people Jun has never been a dick to. He routinely is the one to carry her to her classroom at the beginning of the day. Despite the fact they don't act much like friends until Jun joins the team, he's not a dick. Which is to say, their social link doesn't start off with him apologizing. And when I say "never been a dick" I mean "never before this social link" because he does call Shinju out for "acting weak and helpless when that's bullshit" in a not so nice way. Theirs is a lot of... back and forth, nothing really deep. Some hangouts between rekindled friends. (I think this one would be locked until Hoshiko does accept his apology and forgives him, because despite having never done anything to Shinju, Hoshiko is her best friend)

Miyako/Jun: Miyako wants Jun to help her study, because he's consistently the first in class grade wise. Jun says he's never studied a day in his life, so he's no help. Miyako finds out this is true after a failed study session, in which Jun ends up failing their next quiz because of, proving it did the opposite effect. Miyako ends up having to teach Jun how to study and apply himself, while Jun is doing his own teaching of "it's really not that deep"

Jun/Masahiko: Assholes being assholes to each other. Jun tries to out-asshole Masahiko with his princely person, but Masahiko is actually that elegant and eloquent, so ends up failing. So they end up going to head to head with their own unique brand of assholery. Masahiko finds a new appreciation for Jun's true self (and perhaps a little crush) if cards are played right, as Jun does go and chew out Masahiko's dad for the way he treats Masahiko. (This would probably be the only time something like that happens, as in Masahiko's link with the MC, Masahiko would confront his dad himself)

And... yeah. That's all I've go floating around right now. They need refined, some need thought off. If you think of these in forms of drafts, this is Draft 0. General, mostly nonsensical ideas. I hope that was somewhat satisfactory.

[enahstudio]

Knowing Thyself:

A dreamer who lost its passion and how she found a spark of hope

an autobiography

----- For once, I called myself a dreamer. A visionary. An idealist. An imaginative woman. It starts with a change of perception towards the world we're living in today. As someone who is fond of reading books, watching cartoons appropriate for my age, and observing the people around me, I know it is something that will shape me into a different person rather than just being someone who yearns to finish education or enjoy simple things in life.

----- Growing up in the slums, contemplating the vulnerable people in our community has driven me with so much passion to become a doctor. Specifically, a pediatrician. Children always have a special place in my heart. During my childhood, I tended to get sick, incurable with just a smear of vaporubs or consuming medicines. There's this one time I broke my el-bone (Yes. I use to refer to it that way because I find it kind of witty). Visiting the hospital became a daily routine. Before I was admitted to my own room, I laid alongside whining children. It pains me to see them suffering various illnesses, despite it being normal to happen to children.

----- Aside from patients being my friends, I became great pals with the doctors who always keep me in check every time they pay me a visit. I always thought they're awesome professionals. I find it cool whenever they consult their patients and write them prescriptions.

----- I can somehow picture myself doing the same thing hereafter. Ever since then, I would make scenarios in my room. Using my stuffed toys as the patients and me as the doctor. If there's anything that I should be thankful for, that is for having such supportive parents. They even customized a white coat and a name template for me. Wearing it feels like I'm already living in my dream. That's how I see the vision of my future. That's how I call myself 'a visionary'.

----- But just like they always say, in order for a dream to be achieved, you might have to encounter some hurdles that'll hinder the strongest desires in your life. I've reached the point where I can't sense any motivation to pursue things. When it felt like everything is just an infatuation. At the age of eight, the death of my father had a huge impact on me. As if the colors have faded and I can no longer see the light down the path towards my dream. I struggled to stand on my own feet. Still not able to fathom the fact that losing someone would send waves of unsaid emotions. It affected my performance in school. My marks have dropped and my thoughts have gone disoriented, unabling me to make wise decisions for myself.

----- During the challenging times 2020 has given us, I have seen enough of what people have gone through. It aided me to perceive the truth about living your life. We go through certain hardships. There's these phases in life where we get to experience the things that are least jovial; loss, downfall, and false hope.

----- I admit we get to feel things like that. I may have failed to see the ones who continue to support me. The ones I turned a blind eye on. In spite of the series of distress, life goes on. The pain will eventually leave as long as you find a way to help yourself. And I did. I conquered every fear, and walked through every obstacle I encounter. From this moment, looking back from what I've been through, I know I have no other reason to give up. I guess I get to call myself a dreamer of yesterday, and still a dreamer today, tomorrow, and always.

@enahstudio 2023. All Rights Reserved.

[cypheroffline]

Don't know if I've ever really talked about this, but ima dump lore stuff about my spidersona!

------------------------------------

Warning: there will be sum stuff in here about physical and mental abuse (and or death), so if that's not your jam then I'd look away now! also lots of reading lmao

-------------------------------------

(None of this art was made by me, but by friends/people I commissioned!)

-------------------------------------

The story is set in a universe of my own creation, which I've labeled as 1-tr76. This universe is set in the year 3333 (at least when the main story takes place that is.)

--------------------------------------

This universe is futuristic, yet equally similar to that of our own universe.

"Hi there! My name’s Ben Robertson, and I'm the one and only Hermit-Spider!"

(February 13th, 3315)

Ben had a fairly average childhood, like most children. Everything was happy, until the day they discovered that his mother had pancreatic cancer.

Over the next 2 years, they'd try everything they could to save her. But in the end, it wouldn't be enough. Sarah died not long before Ben's 7th birthday, leaving his dad to raise him on his own.

(March 14th, 3317)

Not long after the funeral, this caused Ben's father Dwight to fall into a deep depression. He'd start using drugs and alcohol to cope, causing violent outbursts where he'd mentally and physically abuse Ben, as he was a constant reminder that Sarah was gone.

(April 30th, 3321)

This would go on for a few years, until Sarah's sister, Maria, would start noticing the bruises and cuts on Ben. Once she realized what was happening, she'd immediately go to the police, eventually leading to a court case over custody of young Ben.

(Picture of Maria below for reference)

(August 19th, 3321)

Maria would go on to win the case, with the court deeming Mr. Parkson unfit to raise his child. Ben would move in with Maria, to be raised by her, while Dwight was given jail time and placed in a support group to help with his addictions.

(May 11th, 3323)

Ben would enter into 8th grade, being extremely shy and not wanting to talk to anyone due to what he'd been through. He generally preferred to sit by himself, and read his books.

Eventually though, he'd make a friend in a young girl named Evelyn, leading him to become more open and show off his personality more.

(August 15th, 3324)

As Ben entered high school, he'd slowly gain an interest in music, eventually joining the school band class. Here he'd meet the people who'd go on to become his best friends, creating a deep bond with them. Throughout these years, they'd go on to make a band together, with Ben as the lead singer, known as Nevermind The Name.

(October 23rd, 3326)

During his junior year, another friend of Ben's by the name of Jill Howel develops a crush on him and asks him out. He'd already had feelings for her, but hadn't said anything because he thought she was "out of his league."

(May 17th, 3327)

Her parents however, did not like that their daughter was dating some "poor musician boy" and said he was a bad influence on her social growth. Due to this, they sent her away right before their senior year started, forbidding either of them from contacting one another. They were both crushed, yet forcefully made to say their goodbyes.

(May 19th, 3328)

Ben and his friends graduate from high school, heading straight into college not long after. Most of them had managed to get different scholarships, with Ben getting one related to music.

Evelyn and Ben become dormmates, sharing the same room as they went through college. During all of this however, they still managed to maintain the band and have part time jobs outside of classes.

Ima continue this in another post, so this one isn't 5 hours of reading lmao

If ya stayed this long, kudos and thank you very much! Hope you enjoyed reading, and I'll see ya next time!

[magicofrobin]

lyric analysis of wide eyes by badflower and how it fits jason todd's vibes. long post incoming. (tw: implied/referenced sa, character death)

starting with the pre-chorus and chorus rather than the lyrics from the verses because these are the most easy to understand.

PRE-CHORUS ANALYSIS.

my innocence was taken / i'll never be that boy again

the first line is the loss of his childhood. unlike other children he witness violence and addiction at home, as well as around his neighborhood. he took care of his mother and slowly watched her die because of her "illness". he lived on the streets after losing both of his parents (the grief for his mother was like a knife, the space where his father used to be was filled with relief). jason wasn't allowed to be a child, he grew up too fast because he had to. it was the only way for him to stay safe. for so long he lost that childlike innocence that tells you that the world is good and your parents will always love and protect you. he saw the world through the eyes of an adult when he shouldn't have had to; in an ideal world someone would've shielded him from this. from all of it.

it can also be used in the same context as the song, which has been interpreted as being about sa. in that sense his innocence was taken when talia manipulated him and brought him into her bed when he was under her care. in that sense it was about the blurred out faces and half remembered hands from his childhood.

the second line, to me, is about his death. he's not going to be who he was before, no matter how much he wants to. he can't go back. he's changed too much to be that boy anymore. he doesn't even view that boy as him anymore, it's easier to think of robin as someone else, as a ghost, than it is to admit it's him. jason todd and robin might be one and the same in reality but not through the lens of his trauma. this can even be seen in canon, when he's reliving his death and disassociating. he sees himself at fifteen, dying on the warehouse floor, being between to death, and he calls him robin, not jason. because it isn't him, not really.

i guess i'm only speculating / but there's no use in hearing the truth from a liar

this one is less specific but to me, it's about how he feels like the other bats don't trust him. mainly how bruce doesn't trust him. it feels like no matter what he says or how much he works with them, there will always be the sense that none of them trust him. if he says he won't kill then he's lying. if he says he's fine he's lying.

he has lied before. many times in fact. that was what red hood was in the beginning, a lie spun to hide his identity until he was ready.

CHORUS ANALYSIS.

true was the bride at the turn of our time

in the song the bride is referring to the catholic church, with that context, i think this line for jason's character is a bit hard to interpret.

but to me, it feels like it's about bruce's crusade and his time as robin. things were good and he believed in everything bruce stood for when he was robin. after his death nothing is the same, least of all him. he no longer believes in batman or his methods, the life he lived under bruce's roof is no longer true, it hasn't been since he ended up in that warehouse. it's almost like a loss of faith.

holding my, holding my / holding my life in your body

this one is obvious & not so obvious. there's different things it could mean but the most in your face one is: bruce finding his son's body in the wreckage and holding him, wishing that jason would open his eyes. it's so reminiscent of the every image of bruce finding his son in death in the family; jason’s limp body in his arms, him the picture of the devastated father.

its batman protecting his robin when they're out on patrol. jason's full trust in his dad to keep him safe. every night out as robin was a risk and bruce was always there beside him, pulling him back when it was too dangerous or picking him up when he was too hurt or too tired to carry on.

its jason holding a gun to the joker's head and demanding his dad make a choice: him or his murderer? one of them was going to die there and it was all in bruce's hands, whether he wanted it or not.

it was the way the batarang sliced his throat and sent him stumbling, releasing his murderer so he can grasp at his throat. a timer is about to go off and he's trying to stop the bleeding. this was his dad holding his life in his hands and choosing wrong. this was jason keeping himself alive, the only person he could depend on anymore.

in a meta sense it's the poll that killed him. his life hinged on the votes of fans. he would live or die based on whatever they called in and said. they held his life in their hands and voted against him. voted to see him dead. voted to see batman's world shatter with the loss of a child. they could've saved him.

i bottled up the pieces of the lie, of the lie

it's about putting his past behind him, or trying to. it's the distance between him and the rest of the bats. he's not part of them and his time with bruce was a lie, it wasn't real, that wasn't his family. he thinks he knows that now. he was replaced, they're happier without him. so he keeps his distance and he keeps all those feelings inside until they spill out and he's confronting a bat and it gets explosive. because he does want to be part of the family, he wants his old life back even if he can't have it.

its about all the things talia told him while he was healing and training. the whispered half truths that she used to manipulate him, so he would become a more willing pawn. she told him about tim and twisted it, told him that bruce never loved him, didn't even miss him. jason's body had barely been in ground before a new kid was going out in the colors that killed him. she doesnt tell him how his dad was self destructing, how tim thought he had to step in to keep bruce alive, how tim was just a kid taking responsibility for a man so lost in his grief he took it out on the world. she tells him how his death has gone unavenged because no one cared enough about him to avenge him.

she doesn't tell him how his dad almost killed the joker, he would've too. he was going to put his rules behind him and rid the world of his son's murderer. but superman stopped him (there might have been valid reasons but does it really matter?). she doesn't tell him how dick wanted the joker dead as soon as he heard about jason's death, how fucking outraged he was that bruce was letting him sit in arkham instead of six feet under. she doesn't tell him how dick beat the joker to death for him and tim and barbara and the only reason he's still alive is because bruce brought him back. she doesn't tell him that he was loved.

everything she's says is lies wrapped up in a thin layer of truth and he takes it as gospel because why would she lie to him? she's in charge of him, she saved him.. right? she should have no reason to lie to him.

who am i, who am i / to ever love you with wide eyes?

so much of this song is about his relationship with his dad and how it's changed since he came back to life. he's not the same kid he was, he's angry and wrong and he hates bruce for replacing him and for letting his murderer go on living. there should be no love left for him to give. but there is. there's enough left that it has him coming when his family calls and agreeing to nonlethal methods, anything to make his dad happy, to make his dad love him.

jason doesn't feel like he deserves to love anyone, least of all the family he doesn't fit into. he's the extra puzzle piece, one that came from another box and was so obviously out of place there was no mistaking it as part of the bigger picture. just like jason is with the family.

this line is him quite literally asking himself if he's allowed to love bruce now that he's broken all the rules. is he allowed to still think of him as his dad and want his love if he's not part of the family anymore, if he's not robin anymore.

going into the verses now, this part might be more select lines rather than the entire verse. we shall see.

VERSE ONE.

my love was only temporary / i aged, but kept the memory / and still it makes me shiver cold

this is all about losing the two most important parental relationships he's ever had and how it'll never stop being an open wound.

he had three years as robin, as bruce wayne's son, he knew it wouldn't last forever. he was so loved during those years, he wanted it to be forever, he wanted to know what it was like to grow up happy. but he died and he lost it. to him, the love he experienced then died with him. and now, as red hood, he knows it has. all he has left is memories of a time when he was happier and it's mostly his fault. it keeps him up some nights, nights where he's alone and nightmares won't let him sleep and he wakes up in a cold sweat wishing he could slip out of bed and walk the hall to his dad's room, seeking out comfort like he used to.

it's losing catherine when he was so young. it's the constant desire for more time with his mom that he'll never get to have. no matter how old he gets he'll always be that little boy shivering and laying beside his mom, hoping she'll wake up.

if i really wanted to, i could also tie it back to talia honestly. she made him feel loved so she could mold him into a pawn and then she betrayed him in the worst possible way. jason will never forget what she did and she will star in those nightmares that wake him up at night.

theres no place to hide the past we bury / so like the virgin mary / she lied to save the family

for the most part the latter part of this line is about catherine to me. it references how she tried to shield jason from the worst of things. she told him she was sick, not an addict. her drugs of choice were medicine to make her better, not the things actively killing her. she lied to him to spare him, to save him.

the first line is pretty on the nose to me. try as he might jason will never be able to run from his past – whether that's being robin or living on the street or being raised in an abusive household or his time spent with the league. nothing is gonna be able to hide it. even six feet of dirt wasn't enough for him to be rid of it.

VERSE TWO.

i am the dust behind the window / the darkness in the shadow / the stain under the pillow

the most standout line here is the darkness in the shadow because that's what he is, isn't it? he's the dark spot on the otherwise clean history of robin. (it means nothing that every robin has had their problems, none of them are innocent, but jason will bear the curse of that alone.) and when he was first starting as red hood, he was hiding in the dark and going through with his plan for revenge. no one knew, or could've known, that jason was back in gotham. he should've been dead, he should've been a ghost.

the first line is referring to his memorial in the cave. the suit he died in – that should've been destroyed, it never should've been kept, it just like robin should've ended with jason – is displayed behind glass. the suit is all that's left of a ghost.

and i'll be the perfect silent witness

this is a bit more of a loose interpretation than some of the other parts but this to me would be referencing the deal he makes with bruce about not killing in gotham. his attempts to repent and be the son bruce wants again.

i stink from all the bullshit / so feed me and i'll hold my tongue

the first part of this is similar to some of the things i've written about jason's internal monologue. where he's thinking about how he's not able to rid himself of where he grew up, like his neighborhood left a permanent stain on him. it's something he felt most intensely when he was attending gotham academy. he felt like the students and the teachers could smell the stink of crime alley on him, that they knew he was not from the same kind of people, that he was only there by chance – not by birth.

finally to finish up, here's the bridge which is so so fucking fitting.

BRIDGE.

rage! / i'm the bad guy, i'm the bad guy / i'm the cynical kid, i'm the rage

this is red hood. this is all red hood is. all of jason's anger wrapped up in a neat little bow and hidden under that helmet of his. he makes himself the villain in the family. he kills people even though he knows it breaks his dad's number one rule and it'll make it so he can never be part of that family again.

he comes back so disillusioned to bruce's methods because he knows! they don't work! gotham is still just as bad as ever! there's no way the city will ever get better if someone doesn't start cleaning up the streets and laying down rules and getting rid of the worst of the worst. which is what jason does.

as a kid he wasn't full of so much doubt. he genuinely believed he was making a difference but now he knows better.

i'm the big lie / i'm the goddamn shame of the goddamn pride!

jason todd was the good soldier! the plaque on his memorial says so! but that isn't true now is it? no, jason was the soldier who wouldn't listen in the end, who turned his back on the cause when he was shown the truth.

he was the angry one, wasn't he? that's what everyone wants to believe.

jason todd the good soldier. jason todd the angry robin. the robin who was always destined to go down the wrong path. it's true because bruce said it, isn't it?

his past is all hidden behind the lies of a man he still calls dad. he warps the memory of a dead boy to suit his needs, ignoring the truth of jason's life because it makes his death easier to deal with. it makes his return and his crimes easier to deal with.

because he's batman's greatest failure. his soldier, his fault.

he's the bat that makes them all look bad. he wears their symbol and he kills people. he thinks he's something that they're all ashamed of (and maybe they are. maybe he deserves that for what he's done.)

rage! / i'm the bad guy, i'm the nice try / i'm the typical bitch with the rage on my face!

pretty much the same as the first part of the bridge but i want to focus on the i'm the nice try part. because i feel like it reflects thoughts on his life and death. his time as robin was cut short but he did good during it, didn't he? he helped the people of gotham and he did so much good but it wasn't enough.

and then his death! it didn't stick! his resurrection is basically the universe's way of saying nice try! not even death could stop jason todd.

i'm the goddamn beast of the goddamn pride!

this!

jason is the member of the batfamily that's willing to go further, he's capable and ready to kill if it means protecting his city and his family. he's the violent one now and he accepts it. that's his role in the family now.

[bluejaysandblackbats]

If There's Nothing Missing In My Life...

Fandom: DC Comics, Superfam

Summary: Newly-emancipated popstar and child actor, Conner (screen name: Lucky) navigates high school and stardom on his own.

Chapters: 2/?

Characters: Conner Kent, Lois Lane, Roxy Leech, Rex Leech, Lois Lane, Clark Kent, Hillary Chang

Additional Tags: Highschool AU, Celebrity AU, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, Exploitation, References to Depression, Conner Kent Needs a Hug, Conner Luthor, Lex Luthor is Conner's Parent, Childhood Trauma, Self-Confidence Issues, Teen Angst, Angst, POV First Person, No Powers AU, Conner Kent-centric, Bisexual Conner Kent, POV Conner Kent, Protective Lex Luthor, Child Celebrity AU

Chapter Two: Feed The Tree

The big day came. My first day of school. I half-expected a call from my dad, but no one called. I took a handful of pictures and sent them to Rex for him to approve one for Instagram. I played music while I messed with my hair. I felt weird. I was weird. I knew people would stare at me and ask about my work, but I desperately wanted to fit in. I got a text, and my phone dinged. I hoped it was my dad, but I knew it was only Roxy. The text was pleasant, at least. It read: too cute. Missing something... Electric pink button-up, maybe?.

I tried it on and looked in the mirror, and whispered a soft, "Hmph. She was right." Roxy could be a genius sometimes. I sent her a few pictures of the outfit as she pictured it, and she sent me a bunch of exclamation points and the pictures she wanted me to post. I did as I was told, grabbed my backpack and lunch, and headed to school. It was a short walk from my building, and the weather wasn't bad. Besides, I needed to clear my head.

The school was so close to the ocean I could feel the mist on my face as I walked. The campus was huge and looked nothing like the pictures I saw online. I hadn't even gotten to the front gate before the kids started staring at me. I put on my bravest face and pushed forward. I walked through the front gate, and a girl waved me over to her friend group, and I ran a hand through my hair and grinned. "Hey," I smiled.

"Are you going here? Like for real?" she asked. Her friends giggled and whispered to each other, and I nodded.

"Yeah, actually, can I ask you guys a question? If I wanted to find the main gym?" I asked. One of the taller girls in the group took me by my wrist and led me to the big building on my right. I picked up my schedule from one of the front tables. They even put my stage name on it, as I asked. It was weird for me, though, because no one knew my birth name except my dad, so odds were I'd never hear my own name unless I said it to myself.

I had P.E. for my first period, so I sat on the bleachers and popped in headphones. Someone sat uncomfortably close to me and took a picture, and I threw up a peace sign. People tended to do that to me a lot, so I tried to look as happy as possible at all times. I was so scared of disappointing people, but I can't lie and say I got used to the anxiety that comes with being approached by people that don't know me. My dad did a great job of protecting me from the weirdness of it all as best he could. Still, I experienced some pretty scary stuff that stuck with me.

The worst was when I was twelve, and a fan tried to pull me away from my dad on the street. I was so shaken up that I almost quit acting. When people ambushed me, I'd feel like that all over again. I felt drained afterward, but I tried to make the best of it. I figured it'd stop once kids got used to me being on campus. The bell rang, and they told all the P.E. kids to meet on the football field. I followed them out and put my sunglasses on. A kid came up to me and waved. "Sorry, I don't know if you feel like talking. You looked lonely," she whispered.

"Me? Pfft, no!" I laughed it off. She shook her head and laughed.

"I'm Hillary," she introduced herself. I shook her hand. "And you must be the illustrious Lucky... How're things going for you so far?"

"It's going alright. The weather's a lot nicer here, and the people are friendly enough," I replied, "Why?"

Hillary shrugged. "Thought it'd be nice to ask. I did the exchange program a year ago, and no one ever asked if I liked it there," Hillary paused, "I remember being homesick... And cold."

"Where'd you go?" I asked.

"Poland. I did a semester there in the winter," Hillary replied. She was so laid back that I think it made me want to impress her. I took off my sunglasses and looked her in the eye, waiting for her to elaborate. "Ever been to public school before?"

I shook my head. "There are a lot more people at school than on tv... And I haven't seen any lockers since I've been here," I replied. Hillary laughed. I rubbed the back of my neck and stopped talking.

"Swear I'm not laughing at you... It's just-. That's what I said during my first year of high school. So, I get it," Hillary reassured, "And you'll like it here. Especially once you make a few friends."

"Like you?" I half-smiled.

"Don't know yet. Let me get a feel for you first," Hillary replied.

"I've got no problem with that," I joked, and she flicked me on the forehead. I thought I blew it, but she laughed.

"Dumb joke, but I walked right into it... Club week is at the end of the month. Try getting involved in something," Hillary suggested, "Like, I dunno. Theater or music appreciation-."

"Hard pass. I wanted to go to high school to try something new, not do the same thing I've done my whole life," I replied, "And acting and singing is work. I wanna have fun."

"So, do you have anything in mind?" Hillary asked. "Sports, maybe?"

"Yeah, maybe... I'll try cross country or tennis, or I'll wait for baseball next semester," I replied, "Got any recommendations?"

"Creative dance. Cool group of people and they're super accepting," Hillary replied.

"Accepting? Is this about my sexuality?" I asked, feigning offense. She covered her mouth. "I'm joking. I'm joking. I know what you mean." Hillary smiled and punched me in the shoulder.

"Oh yeah... You'll fit right in," Hillary smirked, "Oh, and you should invest in an umbrella. It's gonna start raining again next month."

I wasn't sure if she was joking, but she walked away before I could ask. Two guys came up to me, arguing amongst themselves before finally turning to speak to me. "Can you settle this? He doesn't believe you did that backflip for real," the shorter kid explained.

"Come on, man. You know he can't do that," the other guy replied.

I raised an eyebrow. "You know? From the Crop Top music video?" the short kid described.

"It was supposed to be a backflip, but I couldn't do it consistently, and my dad worried I'd get hurt, so it was a back handspring," I corrected him. I stood up and stepped onto the field where some of the other kids hung out, and I did a backflip. My heart beat so fast I could hear it in my ears because I wasn't sure I'd land it. I don't think they could tell, though. The short kid ran onto the field and gave me a high five before flipping his friend off and collecting ten bucks.

After they walked off, I sat on the turf and caught my breath. The second bell rang, and all the kids on the field lay down, so I followed suit. I turned and whispered, "What are we doing?"

"School tradition. We cloud-watch and chill out for the first ten minutes of class if it's not raining," one of the girls nearby whispered back. "Afterward, we'll line up and get our P.E. lockers assigned. Then we can go back to chilling out for the next week."

I was off to a smooth start. I felt like I'd hit the jackpot for public high schools, but I still had the whole day left. There was still time for everything to go horribly wrong.

[ayadoesart42]

Hello! If you’re still in need: Ofc age appropriate, but HC’s for the guys learning they’re going to be dads? It’s one of my favorite hcs to think about lol

I enjoy your other HC’s, too!!!

💕

This was actually really sad to make, and I apologize I’m pretty sure this was supposed to be light hearted… sorry. Also I’m going off of unexpectedly becoming a parent with s/o, rather than planned bc if it was the reaction would be just “yay” and less interesting so LETS GO

Ichiro- (in 20s-ish so similar amounts of maturity) Really really happy and overjoyed. He would be beaming for like a month straight. He would also be determined to be the best dad ever and fix everything that his dad did wrong.

Jiro- (also 20s) PaNiK 😱 But like- happy panic (hopefully)

Saburo- I sat over this for like an hour and eventually gave up, sorry he is a child

Samatoki- would go spiraling and panicking about how terrible his childhood was and how he doesn’t want to turn into his own father and let someone experience that, also be worried about a kid growing up in the environment of a Yakuza with a smoking problem and would go off trying to right his life

Jyuto- Honestly he would probably break up and chicken out- he has too much to do to care for a child

Riou- Would consider it his new mission, and dedicate himself to completing it with honors

Ramuda- N/A

Gentaro- Become Edward Gorey and start to write children’s books with tragic endings

Dice- Would have taken his chances with knocking a woman after a night at a casino and lost. He’d probably not be emotionally ready for it and he would have no kind of connection with the woman, so they would just move on with their lives.

Jakurai- Would adopt again and take the new child to see Yotsutsuji, their big brother, once a week and maybe start a nice mini foster care system for children in need.

Hifumi and Doppo (I’m sorry I have to do these together): Hifumi would quit his job being a host to be a stay-at-home parent, cooking and cleaning and raising the child while Doppo pays the rent. Hifumi would be joyous forever and Doppo would go through phases of “I am so happpppyyyy” and “I am so tireeeeeddddddddd this is gonna end meeeeee I don’t wannnnaaaaaaaaaa”

Sasara- Quit being a comedian to be a parent because he doesn’t want his kid to be constantly surrounded by paparazzi, and he wants to be there for his kid, and try to not give them the childhood that he had.

Rosho- First of all, Rosho wants to be a parent SO BADLY, I think he straight up considers his students his temporary kids. But if he got an actual child he would be over the moon and do all the cringey parent stuff like put pictures of his kid all over his desk at school and give his students updates at school and everyone would refer to his child as the class’ “little sister/brother/sibling”. Also I think having an actual child would push him into starting a program where he can go to places like hospitals and areas with children that don’t have access to nice schools and he would teach them simple lessons and give them a small, free, education. (CRYING)

Rei- Well we’ve all seen how this goes

Kuukou- I disagree with the fact that Kuukou is having an unplanned child, he is a MONK. So he would become the parent of a very large rescue dog or something and unleash it at the temple and take care of it well.

Jyushi- iS a cHiLd

Hitoya- Read attorney of law repercussions and amendments instead of bedtime stories. Also always say “you never his a woman.” To his kid no matter what 24/7 idk why but he would. He would pay the money for the house but also take a surprising amount of time to be an active father.

Bonus

Nemu- (Unhypnotized) Would be very very happy until she realized she would have to tell Samatoki

I AM NOT SURE IF THATS WHAT YOU WANTED BUT UH HERE YOU GO

and ofc I'm never not in need of hc prompts lol

[marjansmarwani]

random q if you feel like answering: what are your headcannons for enzo? and if you have any, who would your dream actor or actor choices for him be if he appeared on the show?

Is this a gentle nudge to finish my Enzo fic, Anon? If so, you're right, I really should finish that.

Either way, yes, I have many headcanons for Enzo. Most of them either were written into my Enzo and TK fic that covers season 1 or are outlined or written into the yet to be completed chapter, covering season 2.

My version of Enzo (full name Lorenzo Cohen), is a history professor at Columbia University. He's Jewish and his mother is Italian, for reasons that mostly exist for scenes I wrote about TK's childhood. He's lived in New York his entire life and I imagine he and Gwyn met at a fundraiser or maybe an alumni event at Columbia, because Gwyn completing Law School there would make perfect sense. He's traveled a fair bit, both with Gwyn for her business trips and also for his own research and career, but I don't think it's a stretch to say that once TK was in the picture he stayed behind more often and that there was a lot of time with just the two of them.

I've always imagined that due to the nature of his parent's jobs, Enzo was always the one who was there for a last-minute pickup or emergency. I could see TK being resentful of him at first and yeah, maybe it took a while to warm up to this man that his mother was with that was not his dad. But he won him over simply by always being there and actually listening to him in a way neither of his parents really ever did because they were often too distracted by their jobs. I'd also always figured that after Owen's second wife (who we now know was named Lorainne) came into the picture, TK appreciated Enzo all the more.

He's steady and calm with a very dry sense of humor and he doesn't hate Owen, but he acknowledges that they are very, very different people. The only redeeming quality he finds in Owen is that while he's not the best parent some days he does really love his son, and that's enough for Enzo to make sure that they stay civil; for TK and Gwyn's sake if nothing else. He loves Gwyn but never pushed the marriage issue with her. They discussed it I'm sure but I could see her saying she didn't want to do that again and that was fine with him. He didn't care what their label was, as long as they were together. That has never stopped him from referring to TK as his stepson though. Even when he and Gwyn canonically separated in season 2, he didn't change that. It's the only way he can think to describe the relationship he and TK have in a way that makes sense to anyone else.

I've long had the idea that Enzo was the first person TK came out to. Not because he didn't trust either of his parents, but because Enzo was there. Maybe he also figured if it went badly at least he would know and would just never bring it up to either of his parents. Obviously, it did not go bad and that pushed him to do that with his parents too, as soon as he got the chance. I'm assuming TK probably got into some trouble as a teenager (I had always assumed that maybe he had started with drugs then but according to the show that might not be the case) so yeah he, and Enzo had their struggles too because dealing with a teenager who is determined to find trouble is never easy. Especially if he was acting out to get someone's attention and it never really worked. But Enzo never stopped showing up and even through all the teen angst, TK appreciated that.

I am terrible at the fancast questions, but @iboatedhere has suggested Timothy Olyphant, and I could see that. A friend and I joked about John Stamos back when Enzo was first mentioned because he seems like someone who would just irritate Owen to no end, and that would be fun. I did do some thinking to try and submit my own I came up with Josh Duhamel and Dulé Hill. Both would be great (and Dulé Hill would continue the trend of West Wing alums so he gets a few extra bonus points) and I enjoy them both, but I think they might be a little too young. But that's the only point against them, and I think they could work around that.

[nataliaphantomhivesblog]

In the end of it all, Monaca Towa was still a child.

To start this off, this isn't my usual Black Butler posts but ive been meaning to talk about Danganronpa for a hot minute, so please bear with me! Second, this is solely my opinion and before anyone wants to attack me please read thoroughly first. Thank you:)

(Spoiler warning for Danganronpa: Ultra Despair Girls and Danganronpa 3)

Also, before we dive in I'm going to list some trigger warnings:

Physcological abuse

Physical abuse

Manipulation

P*dophillia

Suicide attempt

Violence (?)

Childhood trauma

Please take care and read at your own risk<3

Hello there Danganronpa fandom! Today I will be talking about Monaca Towa (as stated in the title) and how people often minimize her trauma and sometimes forget the fact that shes still a child who got heavily manipulated by Junko too.

Monaca is seemingly very amiable and caring, because of her charming personality, all of the Warriors of Hope love her and try their best to keep her happy and go along with what she wants. However, it's slowly revealed that she is actually manipulative and cunning behind her friendly facade.

Monoca is a character that is cruel, manipulative, and extremly unhinged. Many of her actions cannot be excused or justified, but you can understand where she's coming from.

Monaca's Backstory:

She was born an unwanted child by both her father and her mother. Monaca's mother was supposed to take care of her but instead abandoned the child soon after her birth. Because of all her actions, Monaca saw her mother as a completely selfish and pathetic person. Monaca's father thought of giving her to an orphanage but instead took her into his family.

However, Monaca was always unwanted and everyone else felt uncomfortable around her. Every time Monaca smiled or joked, the others looked at her coldly, as if she didn't deserve to laugh. Every time she spoke, the others turned silent. His older-half brother thought of her as an alien, not part of the family.

She was also physically abused to the point that she pretended to be seriously wounded for them to stop as a result.

Monaca also attended Hope's Peak Elementary School and was part of the "trouble-makers class" along with Nagisa, Masaru, Jataro, and Kotoko.

Along with her fellow abused classmates, she planned a group suicide; however, Monaca never had any plans to commit suicide in the first place and was planning to let the others die as a prank.

The group suicide was stopped by Junko, who took the kids in and manipulated them by treating them with kindness and love.

Monaca then helped Junko mass produce Monokumas for the Tragedy by using her position as a representative of the Towa Group.

She lied to her father and the other adults in order to produce the Monokumas, telling them that she wanted to create futuristic robots that could be domestic helpers and emergency aid workers.

Due to her separation from the family and her genius, her family decided to give her leg room to do what she wanted as long as she brought in profits to the company, and didn't delve too deeply into her plans.

Things to keep in mind about Monoca's backstory:

She was emotionally and physically abused from a very young age.

She started to pretend to be paraplegic because she was finally treated with some kindness and she could have more control over people.

She convinced Nagisa, Jataro, Kotoko and Masaru to commit suicide.

Out of all the Warriros of Hope, Junko took the most intrest in Monoca due to her position, meaning that she was the one who got used and manipulated the most.

How Monoca's mindset works:

The moment she got physically abused to the point that she had to fake her injuries to make her family feel bad was the moment she learned that through sympathy from others comes power. Due to her families neglection and abuse, she started to quickly pick up on things in which benefited her yet hurt others.

She started to use manipulative tactics on her family to gain control over them. She then started implicating these tactics with the Warriors of Hope.

When Junko got into the picture, everything changed for the worst. Junko was the only person in Monaca's life who showed her affection. Even though deep down Monaca knew Junko only cared for her as a means to use her robotics genius for the Tragedy, Monaca didn't care, and happily helped out Junko with her plans if it meant being loved and appreciated in return. At the heart of it, despite all her horrific acts, that's a very child-like thing to do, right? So when Junko dies, Monaca's entire reason for living basically disappears.

AI Junko via Kurokuma may have planted the idea of a successor in her head, but in Monaca's mind it's a way to get her big sis back, and very specifically chooses to mold Komaru into becoming Junko's successor. That's for a big reason, Monaca doesn't want to become Junko, I'd say she actually just wanted her big sister back who would love and appreciate her again, and hence tried to make someone else take on that role initially. Once again, that's the mindset of a child.

Monaca's relationship with the Warriors of Hope:

The Warriors of Hope are a group of children who are extremely resentful and hateful of adults, regardless of whether or not they were involved in their rough paths. 

We all know that the Warriros of Hope are extememly tramutized kids. Masaru had alcoholic parents who physically abused him, Jataro was physcologically abused to the point he bealived he was so ugly that if anyone saw his "repulsive" face they would die, Kotoko was r*ped multiple times by disgusting p*dophilic men (not to mention, Monaca's brother was attracted to her), and last but not least we have Nagisa who had pressuring parents who wanted to raise him as the child prodigy and expirimented on him constantly.

Monaca used the Warriros of Hope's trauma against them, manipulating them to the point were they had to do her bidding completly.

As much as I hate to say it, Monaca truly saw them as pawns. Although there are some instances where she openly declares her care for the Warriors of Hope, it's likely she does that as a form of emotional manipulation.

If anything, she probably did see them as equal in the beginning but then when she started to gain control over her own family, she started to do the same with the Warriors of Hope as a way to protect herself from getting hurt, then again this is my baseless assumption.

Her dynamic with Nagito:

Monaca was amused by Nagito's strange behavior and contradicting beliefs and appeared to be somewhat annoyed with him at the times. However, the two appeared to at least seemingly respect each other in some way, as they treated each other somewhat formally as allies.

Her dynamic with Nagito is one of the most intresting ones. Obviously I think that her being rasied by Nagito was potentially a dangerous thing, considering Nagito's goal was for Monaca to become Enoshima's successor. Monaca seemed to agree with this goal, but Nagito's constant rambling about hope and despair made Monaca bored and feel embarrassed about the whole thing.

She claims he made her an adult in a way, as she grew up in the mental sense and became more cynical and apathetic, not really caring about anything.

In the end, Monaca found Nagito creepy and annoying, but she also appeared to get closer to him during their time together, while originally calling him just "Mister Servant" in UDG, she later refers to him as "Big Bro" in Danganronpa 3. I do think their dynamic was sort of soft and I would've loved to have seen more of it. Honestly the concept of Nagito being a soft brother to Monaca warms my heart, and the wasted potential will forever anger me.

(If any Danganronpa fanfic writer or any writer in general is reading this post: if u could be so kind and do a PLATONIC Nagito and Monaca prompt and tag me in it, I would love you forever!!)

My opinion on Monaca:

I think that Monaca was a very well-written character who deserved more than what she got in the end of Danganronpa 3. She was abused, mistreated and belittled by her family. If anything, I see her as a completely misguided little girl. If she actually had a positive authoritative influence in her life, she wouldn't have turned astray.

A lot of people disregard Monaca's trauma and forget that at the end of the day, Monaca was a child who the moment she was born, the people who were supposed to love her were unwelcoming.

Don't get me wrong though, there is no way in hell I will ever justify or condone the things Monaca has done. If anything, I just think that she alongside the rest of the Warriors of Hope should've been properly taken care of.

Also, if you dislike/hate Monaca thats 100% valid! She did a lot of inexcusable things and its alright to hate on her. I personally love her character but I know she is not everyones cup of tea.

If you read all the way, I'm actually surprised! Thank you and I hope you enjoyed<333

[raviliuz]

"Here comes the sun" Blaise Zabini x Theodore Nott

Muggle, retro au

@lifesucksandiwanttobeamarauder I finally translate that fanfiction, I hope you like it 🥺

The dark-skinned boy has tried to sit still from three hours already. It is incredibly hard for him, because of his amazing hyperactivity. In all honesty, sitting here as a model doesn't count to his dreams or favourites activities but he couldn't deny to Theodore's asks.

Just because of that — his bloody weakness for the older boy — he must stick up there and pose to Theodore's new painting. Blaise perfectly knows that person on that work of art won't be even similar to him. But it will be beautiful, perfect as everything that has been made by gifted hands of Theodore Nott.

There's music, playing quietly at the background, played on a gramophone, restored by Blaise himself. He gifted it to his friend as a birthday present two years ago on an incredibly warm and short night, 22th of June.

He has so many memories with that slight, passionate boy.

"Theo," he says suddenly, breaking the silence. He sounds like a dissatisfied kitten and when he doesn't notice any reaction, he repeats meowing "Theo, I'm bored."

The other boy finally pays his attention to Blaise, not his reflection on painting, which is created on a canvas (too small in Theo's opinion).

"Blaise, you really can't stand it for a while more?" Theodore asks and there is a nuance of desperation and melancholy in his voice, "I want to end it."

And Blaise has already known, he loses again. He won't be able to deny his friend the pleasure that results from looking at the painting — finished, after hours of working.

"I'll stand it, Theo" he sighs and in his mind adds 'always for you'. At this moment all he can do is begging and praying that Theodore is not able to read minds, just like some characters in their favourites comics.

"Nah, Blaise" slight boy says suddenly and leaves his paint palette and set of brushes on the cupboard, promising himself that he will wash it carefully within a few minutes when paints won't be already dry "I know you don't want to."

"It's not like that" Zabini starts to explaining himself chaotically because he doesn't want hurt Theodore's feelings, "I love watching your painting and you while you're painting. And I love that you have a passion and you're so talented. I just... It's May Day and we are sitting in your room..."

"It's alright, Blaise" Theodore interrupts his with the most beautiful, in Zabini's opinion, smile — that carefree, happy and only a little faraway one.

"We should do something and bring Hope with us to take many photos and place them in our albums with dumb yet cute captions" Theo proposes with a light laugh.

The younger, but taller, better built and more mature, of boys, stands up and brushes off invisible pollen from clothes. He reaches his hand to Theodore to help him stand up.

"Wanna go?" he proposes and even if Theo doesn't know where he agrees without a single question.

It doesn't matter where they go, it will be awesome as always if Blaise is with him.

He catches Hope and puts it on his neck. Theo loves his polaroid camera with whole his heart, even if it isn't the newest and all the better photos were made by Blaise.

Blaise is still holding Theodore's hand in his (definitely larger and rougher), like he doesn't care about rubs of paints in many different colours on Theo's hand and now, also on Blaise's one.

He pulls his friends outside and enters the garage like he is in his own house. Theodore knows what he means without words and grabs his bicycle with a big smile on his slim face.

Meanwhile, Blaise grabs his skateboard, which, only in the form of rebellion against sentiment, he did not give a name. But he perfectly knows that by his skateboard, people could see a different side of his personality, which he doesn't show often — bloody sentimentalist who loves very clichéd books or movies and constantly remembering beautiful moments, and it doesn't matter if that happens a year ago or two hours ago.

The skateboard has its best years far behind its. The picture which was printed on the underside of 'his love' (although, of course, incomparable to that of the boy just standing next to him) has almost completely faded and crumbled, peeling paint seems not so good, to put it mildly, but in Blaise's opinion, it adds the special character and charm to his skateboard. Every scratch and every cooked screw tell a story and Blaise thinks it definitely better than new skateboard — probably glamorous but without its own character.

Blaise isn't similar to Theo, not it that topic. He has never had boxes filled with various craps, which refer to many different events and happenings. He doesn't have special notebooks with tickets, a diary or millions of notes with quick sketches, created under the influence of a sudden flow of wen. He doesn't keep every notes and message on scraps of papers, which have been hand down on lessons, in hope that the teacher wouldn't see that. In first, even having a photo album was strange for Blaise. It shows, that he likes looking back at past and that feeling, which sometimes accompanies you right before falling asleep, when you remind yourself one of those pleasant situations from childhood, isn't foreign for him. It was all he was trying to defend himself against, but only for a time.

For a time when on his way stood that quite frail and nerdy boy. Theodore showed him being sentiment isn't something bad just as singing songs out loud in public places. As compensation, Blaise showed him the magic of comics and all these beautiful, charming in their area, which he discovered while taking a walk daily. Blaise pulled Theodore out of his room and dragged him away from the easel to lead him everywhere he can.

"To our place?" Theodore asks and gets on his a little too small, colourful bike. The seat creaks quietly under his mass but none of the boys pays any attention to this.

"Exactly, now ride, my carriage" Blaise screams and catches up on Theo's seat so the movement of the bicycle can drag him.

"Pff, flax" Nott giggles and Blaise find it as the most sonorous, melodic sound in the whole world.

They ride slowly through all that musty hole, also known as Torquay, or — their home. The road even if it's really old and it remembers when they as children drew chalk on a street, is not in a bad condition. A worse fate befell the road signs — some of them are smeared with sprays, and some are knocked off the ground, due to a car accident or a group of probably drunk but still strong young people.

There are many houses near the road. They are quite poor and definitely not as modern as houses in the capital. At some time, before he started taking daily walks, Blaise dreamed about living in London. Or rather, to be able to tell others that he lives in London. It's another thing which distinguishes him from Theodore — the older boy sees beauty everywhere, in everything and in everybody. Blaise envied him with this skill, for him the world has been boring or just ugly and people have been cruel sometimes.

The sun is warming their backs when they slowly ride on a well-known path. They pass Mrs Shermik, so out of courtesy from four meters away from her, they shout to the old woman joyful 'Good morning'. As they turn into a lane, which is fortunately dry as it hasn't rained much lately, Theo starts humming under his breath.

"Hey Jude, don't make it bad" he looks at his friend (nearly losing control of his bike) and Blaise quickly understands what he means.

Blaise joins to his singing and adds next line:

"Take a sad song and make it better".

Someday Blaise would have worried. He was worried about what people would think, he was afraid someone would hear them. But not now. Now he doesn't care when the words flowing from the depths of memory, and when the song ends, he starts another, definitely his favourite — "Blackbird". Neither of the boys has a perfect voice, singing is definitely not their hidden talent, but that doesn't matter. And that is wonderful, isn't it?

Here Blaise can no longer skate further — the ground is too uneven, even ploughed by the tires of wheelbarrows and carts of people from the neighbouring village. The dark-skinned man rejects Theo's offer to simply get his bike's rack and chooses to run next to the boy. The basketball team and two trainings a week are finally coming in handy — thanks to this, his condition is really good and he doesn't gasp like an old man with asthma after twenty meters run. Theodore, noticing how well his best friend is doing, accelerates, forcing Zabini to run, which he accepts with a groan. Nevertheless, he catches up with the older boy and promises himself that as soon as they get there, he will get his revenge.

After five more minutes, they are a destination of their travel. The place they describe as "their", although they are well aware that they are not the only people who come here, is exactly as they remember it — beautiful.

It was Blaise who discovered them during one of his walks over three years ago. He perfectly remembered how it happened.

That day he was trying to find a rather fast but shallow brook, which he remembered from his childhood. Before Draco's move to London, they told Draco's parents that they were going to the field, but in fact, they went to the brook and walked back and forth on a tree that had fallen over the river. He remembered just as well how Draco's mother, on her way to the store, noticed they were not on the field, prompting a search. When their parents found them by the brook — wet but in unusually good moods, they were already too worried to be upset with them.

After searching for more than an hour (during which he definitely fulfilled the daily, maybe even a week, step norm, but he didn't care) he found a place from his memories, although it was difficult to recognize its. The brook had dried up completely, leaving only a faint riverbed and tree roots washed out of the ground, but the place has definitely retained its charm.

Theo drops the bicycle, leaning it hurriedly against one of the roots, and lays down on the grass, staring at the almost cloudless sky, hidden only by tree branches. Blaise, slightly out of breath, rests his hands on his knees and stays like this for a moment. When his breath normalized he comes closer to Theodore. There is a snap and a Polaroid camera gracefully named Hope spits out a photo in which the image hasn't shown up yet. Theo enthusiastically grabs a small piece of paper and starts waving it so fast that it is about to reach orbital velocity. After a while, the picture clears up the silhouette of a younger boy, who was about to lie down next to his friend. Blaise looks at the photo and asks smiling, even though he already knows the answer:

"For your or my album?"

"Of course mine," Theodore replies quickly, grinning happily, "Why do you need your own photos? They will be much more useful to me."

The dark-skinned boy can't help but messes Theodore's hair in one move of his hand. However, Theo is not annoyed by that, he reacts to it like a cat, moving closer and silently demanding further caresses, which the younger one does willingly.

They are sitting like that (or rather, Blaise is sitting and Theo's half lying on him) till the sunset. There is a flower crown on Blaise's head, made by Theo with field flowers collected by him. And of course, Theodore took a photo of Blaise in his work of art.

It's getting dark. Butterflies, which were flying around them flew away and gave way for beautiful moths and fireflies. Theodore stands up energetically and starts jumping on protruding trees' roots, chasing insects to take a photo of them.

"Theo, please be careful," Blaise says attentively but the only response is 'don't worry' screamed by Nott.

Blaise unwillingly starts remembering his childhood. Times, when he wasn't Theodore's friend and all that connected them, was the same neighbourhood, chalk and short-term relationship of their parents. Then they found that as a stupid and loathsome. Nowadays, at their seventeen's, just as weird. But they weren't friends. After all, Blaise was friends with Draco and the teacher in primary had repeated that it's better to have fewer friends but true friends. So Blaise fraternizes with Malfoy till he moved to London.

It's not that now Blaise finds it as a mistake or holds any grudge with Draco. But nowadays he thinks that it is not good to withdraw from others.

When Draco had left and moved to London, Blaise had thought they now he stayed alone but on that moment, Theodore slowly crept into his life. Nott sat next to Blaise on school basketball pitch and started reminding happy moments from times when Draco lived in Torquey.

And later he showed his painting to Blaise and dark-skinned boy couldn't believe someone his age could do something that beautiful. A week later Blaise sat down with him in the canteen and sometime later also on most of the lessons so he could distract him from learning to read their favourites comics.

Now, Blaise would imagine his life without his always laughing and only sometimes a little faraway friend.

His thoughts are interrupted by a quiet scream.

"Ouch!"

Blaise, worried, stands up imminently and run through Theo. He is curled up in a fetal position between roods of the biggest tree. Zabini hugs him tightly and Theodore accepts that willing, cuddling to his chest while holds back tears.

"Ah, Theo" Blaise whispers, still cuddling the boy in his arms, "I asked you to be careful."

"I'm sorry, Blaise" he answers, sniffing.

"Don't apologize to me, silly" Blaise couldn't stop himself from nuzzling his friend's cheek.

"But you are worrying now and you warned me that I might get hurt..."

"Shhhh" Zabini interrupts him and places his fingers on Theo's mouth to shushes him "I always worrying about you, no matter if you get hurt or not" he admits truthfully and after a few seconds of silence adds "Please, stop crying.

He stops hugging Theodore, although he wants to do it forever. Blaise squats in from of him and gently grabs his friend's head. He wipes away tears, flowing slowly on fairy (although all that time, spends under the sunlight) skin.

He wants to not cry because of sadness or pain, wants him not to have reasons for a cry.

He wants him to be always happy, even if that meant that Blaise wouldn't be on his side.

Wants, wants, wants.

But the world isn't always beautiful, even if Theodore thinks so. Sometimes the world is cruel, ugly or just totally boring. The same about people who live in it.

Do it's really important to find your refuge. A place, a person or a hobby, which will be like an escape from all evils in that world.

Blaise thought that his escape is comics. Reading them has dragged him into the world of superheroes where he could use his imagination and think about meaningless things for hours such as what superpower would he choose (flying, of course). Besides that, the world in comics is just easier. It isn't hard to differentiate who is good and who's bad. Good people fight with bad people, that's all. The Justice League cares about Gotham and saves innocent people from Joker, Deadshot or Darkseid. In the real world, it would be an unsolvable matter with billions different threads and complications so even the best detectives wouldn't be able to decide who is guilty.

Comics world is just easier.

Lately, Blaise has got to understand that the whole beauty in that world is locked in its confusions, problems and ambiguities. Because the world is beautiful, even if sometimes it's cruel or ugly.

And the one who made him understand that is his only real refuge — Theodore Nott.

He is the one who makes reading comics even better.

He is the one with who Blaise could do anything and it would be incredibly good.

He is the one with who Blaise wants to talk about 'good old times' and makes new memories to remember.

He is the one with who Blaise wants to stay forever.

Theodore Nott is the one who Blaise bestow that hot and unique feeling which, no matter what since says, comes from the heart.

And that feeling, now makes him do something, he has been dreaming about for that long. Blaise gently and unsurely grabs the head of the person, who since a year isn't only a friend for him. He delicately raises Theo's head a bit upper to look him straight into his eyes. Their lips touch slowly and gently. Both of them don't feel so confident with what's going on but they will worry about that later. Now, Blaise doesn't have the time and desire to thinks about the consequences. Not now, when he feels the structure of soft lips of his love.

When the dark-skinned boy doesn't notice any objections from the older boy, he let himself do a light, carefully move with his lips. He doesn't want to scared Theodore, knowing how delicate and artsy person he is. He would ever forgive himself hurting Theo.

If he only knew how long Theodore was waiting for it and how much he enjoys that kiss, even if Blaise's lips are rough and chapped.

Blaise gently moves away and hangs his head down, looking at too long grass. He's afraid of seeing Theodore's reaction for what he has done because he's afraid of rejection and ending that important relationship.

However, Theo, likes he doesn't see his friend insecure, giggles lightly and grabs the younger boy cheeks, turning his face to him.

"Oh, finally. How long might I wait?" Theo says with a delightful smile.

"Really. You... Me..." Blaise mutters like he doesn't know what he wants to say.

"Yeah, silly" Theo chucked and hits an end of Blaise's nose with his "You're definitely my favourite person in that universe. And every other, alternative universe too."

Blaise, still can't believe what's happening, hugs his boy and kisses him quickly. The kiss is one hundred per cent cute and totally not sultry. Because feelings as sultry and desire don't fit Theodore, even in an alternative universe where Bruce Wayne become the Devastator instead of Batman. It just does not fit.

"Yeah, and you're my fav person."

They sit in silence for a while, but it's nothing wrong. The silent can be calming and comfortable, it can say more than every word in the world.

The air is getting cooler and owls' chirps become more ominous, so finally, Blaise breaks the silence and says:

"Theo" mentioned boy turns to him and glance at Zabini, "Is your knee still hurting?"

"It's not that bad" Theo shrugs but Blaise quickly understands that it's not good either, "But can you ride the bicycle? I'll drive on its carrier."

"But what with my skateboard?" Blaise asks inconvenience.

"I'll carry it, please" Zabini's only answer is a sigh but not the irritated one. He doesn't know what would Theo had to do to irritate him.

"Alright, but please, be careful."

Blaise raises Theo's bicycle from the ground and helps the boy to climb up to the luggage carrier and then he carefully sits on its seat. Theodore holds Blaise's skateboard (which he has named against his will — Faith) with one hand and the other one is embraced around Blaise's stomach so Theo can stably stay on the carrier. Well, maybe not only because of that.

"To me?" Blaise proposes and slowly leaves their place.

Theodore automatically nods but then he understands that Blaise can't see him so he quickly says 'yes' some times.

Boys are leaving, slowly and without unnecessary haste, but that moment is different than every previous one, they have spent here. Now, they're leaving their place not as just friends.

From Theodore Nott's album:

"4th of May, 1984 —

My favourite day to remember"