#I'm a huge disappointment
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#I'm not fucking worth it#I'm worth absolutely nothing#i just want to be fucking dead#i can't do anything I'm so useless#I'm a huge disappointment#i want to cut so so so so so bad#i wanna cut so deep that it won't stop blessing and just fake a smile like nothing happened#im so goddamn ugly#i hate myself so much#I'm so fat i want to cut it all off and just be skinny and cute#I'm not desirable#I'm pathetic#i want to sleep and never wake up#I'll never be with anything to myself or anyone#just let me bleed i want to feel something#ill do anything to feel some happiness even if it's fake#i just want to do something right#i want to stop being a failure#please tell me it's okay to cut i can't take it anymore
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ICJ Ruling
Okay, let's get into this.
First of all, I get the frustration at the court not ordering a ceasefire. I was disappointed and frustrated at first too, since a ceasefire was the biggest and most important preliminary measure South Africa was requesting - and of course we just all want this horror to finally end for the people in Gaza. So I get the frustration and disappointment, I really do.
However, I do think this ruling is still a major win for South Africa, Palestine, and international law as a whole and here's why:
The court acknowledged that it has jurisdiction over this case and completely dismissed Israel's request to throw out the case as a whole. It will now determine at the merits stage (that will probably take years) whether Israel is actually commiting genocide.
The court acknowledged that Palestinians are a "distinct national or ethnic group and therefore deserving of protection under the genocide convention". Pull this out next time someone tells you "there's no such thing as Palestinians, they're all just Arabs".
The court acknowledged very unambiguously that "at least some" of Israel's actions being genocidal in nature is "plausible". South Africa has a case, officially. Israel is accused of genocide, in a way the ICJ deems "plausible", officially. This is huge. (And seriously, how freaking satisfying was it to hear all of those genocidal statements by Israeli politicians read out loud and used as justification for this rulling?)
The court might not have ordered a "ceasefire" in those words, but they did order Israel to "immediately end all genocidal acts" (which includes killing and injuring Palestinians) and submit proof that they actually did. How are they going to comply with this ruling without at least severly reducing or changing what they're doing in Gaza?
In fact, this wording might actually be more appropriate for a genocide (vs a war), as author and journalist Ali Abunimah notes on Twitter:
He's completely right. Israel lost today, by overwhelming majority (I mean, 15 to 2? I heard people predict the rulings would be very close, like 9 judges vs 8, but instead we got 15 to 2 (and even 16 to 1 on the humanitarian aid). Holy shit.) The court disimissed almost everything Israel's side of lawyers said, while acknowledging that South Africa's accusations are "plausible".
And this is important especially because of Mr Abunimah's second tweet there^. Because the question is, where do we go from here?
This ruling means that Israel is officially /possibly/ commiting genocide and that should have huge international consequences. The rest of the world now HAS to take these accusations seriously and stop arming and supporting Israel - and if they won't do it on their own, we, the people, have to make them. This is THE moment to rise up all around the world, especially in the countries most supportive of Israel (the US, the UK, Germany): Protest, call your representatives and demand a ceasefire and an end of arms deliveries to Israel.
We now have a legal case to back our demands: If Israel is, according to the ICJ, "plausibly" commiting genocide, then all of our governments are, according to the ICJ, "plausibly" guiltly of aiding in genocide. And we need to hold that over their heads and demand better. We need to do that right now and in huge numbers. Most politicians only care about themselves and saving their skin. We have to make them realize that they could be accused of aiding in genocide.
(As a German, I'm thinking of Germany here in particular: After South Africa's hearing, our government dismissed their case as having "no basis" - how are they going to keep saying that now that the ICJ officially thinks otherwise? Over the last months, people here have been arrested at protests for calling what's happening in Gaza a genocide. How are the police supposed to legally keep doing that now that the ICJ has officially deemed this accusation "plausible"? I used to be scared to use the word "genocide" at protests or write it on my protest signs - not anymore, have fun trying to arrest me for that when the ICJ literally has my back on this one 🖕🏻.)
So yeah - don't be defeatist about this, don't let Israel's narrative that they "won" (they didn't) take over. This might not be everything we wanted, but it's still a good result. Don't let what the court didn't say ("ceasefire"), distract you from the very important things that they did say. Let this be your motivation to get loud and active, especially if you live in any country that supports Israel. Put pressure on your governments to not be complicit in genocide, you now officially have the highest international court on your side.
#ICJ#ICJ ruling#ICJ hearing#South Africa vs Israel#Free Palestine#Palestine#Palestinian genocide#Gaza#Germany#I get why Palestinians are disappointed and I don't want to devalue those feelings#(but maybe this can give you hope)#But thinking about this as a German this is huge#Most politicians and people here still deny (or at least strongly doubt) that there's a genocide happening#Calling it a genocide is seen as an 'extremist' position#And some of our politicians have been borderline gaslighting us and calling anyone who calls it genocide 'crazy'#So I'm just feeling immense vindication and a newfound fearlessness and motivation to be louder and more active than ever#and I hope others here feel the same#I hope the quiet masses stop being scared to say something now
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just found out that a person in my art class that i really admire and look up to a lot is ALSO a star trek fan??? and it's literally the best feeling ever???
we nerded out about it together for like fifteen minutes afterwards and gosh i want to be their friend so bad. i didn't realize they could become even cooler but here we are
#i think i have a chance at their friendship too... i gotta take this seriously#star trek#i love you star trek#thank you for giving me something in common with this incredible person#and they're a huge geordi fan and seeing as i'm a huge data fan...? friendship is just inevitible. it's gotta happen#if i dont work up the courage to talk to them more by the time this class is over im gonna be so disappointed in myself
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They could really fucking cook with Robby's insecurity about second place (which like, we all know isn't just about the AVT's) and the famous "second place... you're nothing you lost you're a loser!" line but instead they just. Don't I guess and I am left with the insatiable rage of the beast
#if you're the mutual who I talked about this with hiiiiiiiii#it's less of a real point that I'm mad about and more of a huge missed opportunity that I'm disappointed but not surprised by#anyway that second place flashback spiral scene WHERE ROBBY ROTATES HIS SHOULDER gave me life and then proceeded to drive me Insane#robby keene#cobra kai#ck#cobra kai season 6#cobra kai spoilers#ck spoilers#ish#johnny lawrence
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On one hand, really funny that they straight up lied. On the other hand, pretty mean that they straight up lied. But on the third hand, I knew they were never doing HL2AIVR.
#i'm not that invested in hlaivr stuff i watched and enjoyed it years ago but was looking forward to today#i did feel disappointed when i skipped forward and realized “oh this is the whole thing ok”#like the gang knew they were flat out lying to people lol they knew they were hyping up the wrong crowd. rude as hell but funny too#but ya hlaivr was fun because it was spontaneous and everyone had shitty mics and it was improv until it wasnt#hard to do that again without like.#good thing i was rewatching bb clips right before this stream.#playing to the crowd#personal#delete later#i do feel like bb stuff is inherently less fun because there's already a huge established story with all the characters so this feels like#an rp au. versus hl where everyone was basically a blank slate to play off of. but hey that's probably intended. no more meow meows
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This was easily one of the best Lupin episodes
#there will be a rant in the tags that you can ignore#but it is so upsetting how modern/current lupin took away the depths of these characters and flimsily tries to restore their earlier depth#i'm one of those people who craves depth in what i watch and it's so difficult to like this franchise because it will be so close to doing#something interesting only to abandon it#this episode and part one as a whole was peak lupin in my opinion with each character having emotional depth yet flaws to overcome#yet modern lupin would have you believe that these characters don't desire to improve in any capacity#if we were to just focus on Goemon for example right here he shows depth with revealing hidden emotional maturity and empathy for Lupin by#comforting him and admitting he himself is afraid (which is a big deal for a character like him who is supposed to be unflinching)#but in modern lupin goemon will literally say that he's not afraid of anything and this is written without any hint of irony or depth#i'm okay with mindless entertainment and i understand that this is a series simply about stealing but the character assassination is so#disappointing#and when this series does try to be “deep” they pick the most triggering subject matter possible to depict to the point where it's#practically unwatchable (this is in reference to Part 4 and its constant SA plots as well as the rampant gratuitous child abuse plots#throughout the entire series)#i want so badly to love lupin the 3rd but it's a huge problem when fanfiction understands the characters better than the source material#lupin iii#lupin the third#lupin the 3rd#goemon ishikawa xiii#goemon#arsene lupin iii#jigen daisuke#daisuke jigen#fujiko mine#part 1
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My Tumblr followers. If and when you see this. Just don't look at twitter man
This year is cooked
Sorry for the vent but omg this year man THIS YEAR UGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH (read tags for context)
#2024 is done#worst year of my life#shitpost#kagevt#Hes coming back after his dramatic af graduation because he's a shit person because 3 months suddenly makes you a better person. Rent due?#People are beefing over whether fat nuggets or waddles is the better pig and saying hazbin copied gravity falls#Bc if we're talking cartoon pigs then 2007 spider pig Simpsons did it way before gravity fall so bad argument their#gravity falls#The dream smp members are being haunted by the ghost of their admins infection rate#Which is to say every dsmp member is gonna take a huge L this year and it's Eret's and Niki's turn currently#eret#niki niachu#AND ALL THE GOOD ANIMES IS ENDING SO I LITERALLY DON'T HAVE A DISTRACTION#AND DON'T GET ME STARTED ON MR BEAST OML#vent post#vent#Eret and Ava Tyson were dating??? And Eret doesn't believe that she'd be “capable” of some of the bad thing she did WHEN ITS ALL PUBLIC INFO#mr beast#He sending out more lawsuits then batman has dollar bills#People are pressuring other people to join Mcc rising even though the team comp is literally too toxic got them#mcyt#Like if they don't want to play then don't make them play simple as. But NOOOOOOOOOO we gotta send disgusting shit and for what??#Have some dignity#I swear if another thing happens this year I'm throwing the YouTube and Twitter files into a nuclear bomb aimed at my brain bc I can't#And all that's on my mind is that if Technoblade could have seen the shit people are doing he'd be disappointed#I feel bad knowing he passed away without knowing the truth but I hope he's happy with what he did have#And my mental health is tanking#UGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH#chat i'm cooked
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i keep getting hit with these like. weird waves of sadness over liam's passing yesterday?? a big chunk of what shaped me as a person during my teenage years is gone and it's such a weird and sad feeling.
i don't really have the words to describe how i feel about this (well, i do, but they're not like. brief. or clear). the liam payne i'm sad about losing was gone awhile ago, i know that, but part of me always hoped he would get to receive the professional help he so clearly needed.
anyone who was obsessed with one direction knew that liam really lost his way and fell into addiction almost immediately after the band broke up. he's needed help for years. he did go to rehab awhile back and started to heal a bit but clearly things got bad again.
i'm aware that death does not make someone innocent. you are allowed to be surprised and sad by the tragic loss of a life while also holding them accountable for the shitty things they've done. those two things can and should coexist. i know the internet is allergic to nuance but PLEASE exercise some critical thinking and perspective. this is not as black and white as it seems to be on the surface. keep in mind that there's also a lot that we just don't know.
this grief is so nuanced. like i said, i don't support what he has done in the past -- i haven't supported him in YEARS because of the things he's said and done. i stand w all of his victims that spoke up, and i hope they're all doing okay rn and that they know that none of this is their fault.
there's something so weird and sad about combing the emotions of coming to terms with the fact that the person you idolized as a teen turned out to be a bad person, along with the rough and weird feelings of grief that come with that same person dying suddenly, gruesomely, and tragically.
this is all so tragic, so weird, so surreal, and SO hard. there's a lot of weird conflicting and nuanced emotions running through not just me, but so many of us who grew up loving one direction. i'm aching for 12-15 year old me who wouldn't recover from this. i'm destroyed for his son who survives him, his family, friends, and the other one direction boys. my heart also aches for his victims, who i'm sure are experiencing a lot of conflicting and weird emotions about this. i can't imagine what they're all going through right now and can only hope they're doing okay.
this is the first major celebrity death ive experienced, at least with a celebrity i genuinely loved and obsessed over growing up. ik a lot of people feel the same way too.
whatever you're feeling about this right now is valid. you have the right to feel however you feel. you can mourn the loss of someone who meant a lot to you as a child while also remembering that they turned out to be a bad person.
sorry i keep talking abt this but it hits so hard. like i said like 30 times this is so weird and hard and confusing to a lot of us one direction fans who stopped supporting liam a while back bc of his actions. grieving with perspective and nuance is necessary here but it's not easy.
i hope my fellow one direction fans are doing okay today <3
#sorry for the wall of text but. i just wanted to say something more coherent now that the shock has settled#this is such a weird and tragic and sad situation all around#a huge chunk of my childhood is gone so i'm sad about that#i'm also sad and disappointed about who he turned out to be. on top of being sad and shocked about his sudden death#this is all so much to handle and ik i'm not alone in this#if you wanna talk abt it don't be afraid to dm me or send me an ask <3#regardless of how you feel abt this please take care of yourselves and check in on your friends and loved ones 🫶🏻#liam payne#one direction#cw death#cw accidental death#cw mentions of alcoholism#cw mentions of addiction#amori rambles#long post
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yeah this sums it up
#maybe it's just me but I always got the impression that the primary audience for bfu/watcher is middle schoolers-twenty somethings#I started watching bfu when I was like 12-13ish? so did a lot of my friends#now I'm about to be a twenty-something and I'm a jobless student who still lives at home 😭#as a dependent I wouldn't have asked my parents for this either cause they're frugal (and most people are in this economy now...)#so I wonder how this'll effect the audience demographics.#I also feel like watcher itself isn't enough to warrant a whole streaming service for 5.99 a month#are there really so many diehard watcher fans that watch most/every single show? cause like I love the boys but#I've only seen two maybe three of their shows and I wouldn't consider my attachment to at least 2 of them enough to justify that kinda#purchase. anyway this is just me speculating! like I said this won't have a huge bearing on my life it's just kinda disappointing
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i think i got accepted into the 2D animation class at my university #win #success #awesome
#talks#all of my other classes this semester are kind of boring. we kind of got the worst professors/teachers for every class too lmfao#our first semester teachers were so passionate about their job and now we only have teachers who have the personality of a cardboard box.#i really looked forward to illustration but our first seminar yesterday was a huge disappointment#and i'm lowkey trying not to have a crisis about it lol.... it's not even the class. it's the teacher & the way he chooses to teach us#which is just. sketching from real life. realistically. no room for creativity whatsoever. WE WONT EVEN HAVE A FINAL PROJECT#i'm mad about it because the other groups who had illustration last semester had assignments that sounded really fun#illustration class is the reason why i chose to study here in the first place.... and we got a teacher who doesn't gaf about it. grrrrr#anyways. i'm hyped about 2D animation!! it's the only class i really look forward to :D
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when i say "i can fix him" I mean that shit like a stray cat that needs to get neutered
#red rambles#at the moment this is about audrey from gankoutsuou. Yes I'm disappointed in myself#He's blonde AND blue eyed. He's just also a huge smarmy freak. I want to take him to the vet under duress.
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No more star trek?
i still love star trek dearly! i wish i could be one of those artists who are just pumping out art all the time like it's nothing, but unfortunately i am quite slow and my drawing energy is limited so i tend to focus my efforts on my newest ideas, which are usually for my latest interests. i haven't necessarily given up on star trek—i still plan on participating in the yearly swimsuit zine however long it runs (i skipped this year's because of burnout and college but i'm doing better now), and i'd love to do some art for lower decks before it ends... but i can't promise anything :( i can barely keep up with new ideas for new interests, so going back to older ones is a little difficult for me, much as i try. i don't like it anymore than you do but it is what it is
#if you've followed me for any specific fandom other than quantum leap i'm afraid i'm going to inevitably disappoint you haha#i have projects from like five years ago i still haven't gotten to. many cool ideas i've had to abandon because of time or lost interest or#a changing relationship to the source media. i'm not good at this!#star trek is an inextricable part of my life and that won't ever change. i wish i couldve honored that better w more art but alas!#txt#i do plan on rewatching mash eventually. and im already rewatching queap once a week so i don't lose that thread#but star trek is such a huge fandom i don't feel like it's losing much without my contributions haha
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its funny, in a kinda sad way, that the mcu has been starting to introduce the main characters of the young avengers one by one Now (like i was Obsessed with the young avengers comics when i was in high school, talked fancasts with my friends and shit), bc i haven't cared that strongly for the mcu for almost 10 years now (around phase 3 is where they started to lose me) :/ like i couldn't be paid to watch these new things bc i simply can't get invested enough to watch these latest movies and tv shows. but if this had been a decade prior, my blog would've morphed into a primarily mcu-verse young avengers fanblog the moment i caught a glimpse of kate bishop, wiccan, hell. even cassie lang lol
16 yr old me would think i was a disgrace, but 16 yr old me was enduring the worst year of her life 10 years ago, so i'll let her have this one
#my feelings about america chavez's casting is. idk it's complex but ultimately disappointed but that's probably bc she was my fav#in a similar vein- i was a Huge loki stan back in 2013. i rewatched thor idk how many times and that '13 comic con moment went crazy#and then the loki show (a whole show about loki) dropped 10 yrs after the first thor movie and i just. didn't care#i learned kid loki was in it even lol! but i was all loki'd out ig#mcu#rambles#young avengers#it's still cool seeing my boy billy kaplan in any audiovisual capacity i'm ngl. happy for him either way!
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idk man i kinda feel like if you think reading my fic was a waste of your time, maybe you could save yourself some of that time by just hitting the back button instead of writing a comment to complain about it?
#i'm sorry that my fic didn't have enough romance for you and usually i understand people who feel that way#but if romance/sex was all you wanted to read about i feel like... maybe you should have hit the back button sooner?#like this. this clearly isn't as much a shipping fic as most others in the fandom and i feel like that's obvious from early on.#being a little disappointed because there was less than you'd hoped to find at the end? that i understand.#thinking that it was a complete waste of your time because it wasn't about the romance?#and wasting extra time to complain about it?#my dude (gender neutral) maybe that's a you problem#idk why you'd read 47k words of a fic if not seeing them kiss at the end is all it takes to make it a waste of your time#like jfc dude this is a huge ship in a huge fandom it's not like you have to settle for crumbs here#if you want a heavy-romance shipping fic there are just. so so so many. to choose from. you have so many great options!#don't ''waste your time'' with one that's telegraphed pretty hard pretty early as not being heavy on the romance#sorry i think the a-spec within me got more rankled than the author within me#this is like the person at the table who eats the whole meal then complains to management that it sucked and they want their money back
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"The companions are important!
So stop constantly whining about how River should not be considered as a mere companion!"
Oh, I am thankful we got at least one mention of River during 13's era. But in that context? Like, how is Yaz on the same level as River? Companions are important, yes, but...
...but the Doctor doesn't marry their companions, dress up just for their date nights, preen before going out to meet them, consider them their queen and therefore, equal, tolerate (barely, but it's still there) their tendency towards guns and archeology (and stealing and murdering and marrying others for fun and whatnot), pop-up every time they're called, offer to rewrite time for them, engineer an entire planet just to have more time together, settle down (like actually settle down domesticity and all), and tell them their name
#Chibnall did not just try to undo a huge swath of Moffat's era#give River Song the importance she deserves!!#i really just can't when people downplay her role#like hello??#did we all watch the same episodes fr#river song#doctor who#yowzah#doctor x river#eleventh doctor#twelfth doctor#tenth doctor#on that note i'm really disappointed with the lack of River representation#doctor who 60th anniversary#thirteenth doctor#river x doctor#i am exhasuted physically#mentally#and emotionally#but i have to go on#because who knows#this might be the year#River gets out of that horrid Library
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Do we know Miles's or any of the AM members' opinions on the genocide in Gaza? Like I love them to death, but the lack of response has reaaally been bothering me. Not to mention the amount of privilege in not carrying about politics *looking at you, Alex*. I've seen Louise being pro-Israel.
OHHHHH anon i've been WAITING to talk about this. thank you for the question.
the answer is no we don't. to my knowledge, none of the members have openly talked about it. there has been no story on their official instagram, nor has matt (the only one with a public profile) posted anything about it on his account. not only that, but i did some research and apparently that benefit concert that him, tyler parkford and josh homme took part in also hosted people like jesse hughes and sarah silverman who are more or less openly pro-israel. which doesn't mean *matt* is, it just means he's not careful who he's associating himself and his image with.
the others have stayed silent. and miles, too - who's so active on social media - has never even reposted anything about it. not a word.
about the girlfriends, louise (and amanda) have spoken about "wanting peace" and louise especially has reposted some stupid ass posts a few months ago basically saying it's not "childish" to just wish peace for everyone - proving that she literally knows nothing about what has been happening for DECADES. both her and amanda have repeatedly proven they're centrists, which is just so. yikes.
the only one among all of them who has openly and almost immediately asked for a ceasefire is katie.
i've seen some people argue that the royal albert hall proceeds have gone to the war child association, but honestly - that's not enough. that was before, and even though knowing that is better than nothing, something they did in the past doesn't justify their lack of a statement on the genocide in the present. the fact that they're not even active on social media - just because they're too lazy to get someone to properly manage their account - isn't an excuse for staying silent.
whether they like it or not, they're celebrities. they have a platform they could use and they repeatedly choose not to use it. i love them but for the past few months i've been beyond disappointed in them.
#and then i see people on here shitting on other celebrities with bigger platforms for their lack of a statement#just because you have a weird personal vendetta against people like taylor swift and others (also their gfs)>#> doesn't mean our favs are looking any better. i'm hugely disappointed in her and all the other celebrities who have stayed silent#and i'm just as upsed with am. they're not an indie unknown band. they have 7.6 MILLION followers on ig#using their platform could actually do something#just bc they have a 'smaller' platform than other bigger celebrities doesn't mean they don't have one#they actually have SUCH a big platform#dan and phil did a stream and raised so much money and they have an even smaller platform can you imagine how much am could raise#or even simply do the bare minimum and post something to show where they stand. TALK about it. but they simply choose not to#and yeah they could be donating in private. we don't know. and that's exactly it. their silence makes us question them#and also. why is it that people on here only hold accountable for their silence the celebrities they don't personally like#but stay conveniently silent on am's and miles' lack of a statement? do i once again smell double standards?#again i love them as much as the next person but i will ALWAYS hold them accountable for their actions (or lack thereof)#answered
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