#I'll make a separate post for why I've been so slow recently

[zeldamphibiedalls]

Stay Safe pt.4

sorry. Short chapter this time

---

Wilds eyes squinted at the light, he tried looking around but only found a blurry screen wherever he skimmed.

He tried to lift himself up to get a better idea of where he was before getting pounced on by something large and… fluffy?

He opened his eyes and saw what seemed to be a large, gray figure. He reached out his hand and felt the familiar touch of fur. This probably meant it was all just a bad dream.

He was about to sit up before a sharp pain cut through his body like a knife and his head hit the pillow.

He turned to his side, the large, wolf-like figure that laid next to him sniffing his hair. He reached up and scratched wolfies ears.

Wild also started to observe the room around him. He heard the heart monitor and he felt the wire stuck in his arm.

He was breathing, with the help of the tube that was hooked up to something else he couldn't see.

"Hey Wolfie, you doing alright?" Wild said, burying his face in the soft fur.

The moment of peace was interrupted by the dog wriggling down and licking his face. Wild let out a soft giggle before slowly being overcome by sleep.

[orphanheirs]

Intro Post!💀🦇🕸🕯

Hey there! Figured I'd finally make one of these in case anyone who stumbles on this blog wonders what it's all about.

As it says in my blog description, this is an online space where I can compile and organize imagery, info, and anything else that inspires me related to the novel I'm developing. At least that was the original motivation for making this, but I'm definitely wanting to post some original content surrounding the story and the characters in it soon! This imaginary world has been obsessing me for a few years now, and I'm honestly chomping at the bit to share it with others.

What you'll see on here:

Images related to: gothic lit, the regency period in Europe/Britain, the late 16th/early 17th century, some earlier 18th century, ancient and prehistoric cultures, paganism, the occult, witchcraft, fairies, folklore, the countryside/forests, autumn, Halloween, demons/devils, romantic fashion, screenshots and gifs from films, illustrations/other artists' art that inspires me, and any other random pic that speaks to me or that gives me an idea even vaguely related to the story.

Text posts relating to: all the same subjects above, plus quotes from poetry and literature, other stories that inspire me, and writing advice posts/memes.

Hopefully soon: posts introducing my characters and sharing concept art, ideas, research I've done, who knows what else??

***Content warning for some imagery that may be disturbing (as can be expected, I guess, from a horror aesthetic/theme).***

What the novel's about:

It's [going to be] a gothic/dark fantasy/folk horror/historical fiction novel set in regency Britain and centering around the concept of Halloween and its origins/meaning. Think Jonathan Strange & Mr. Norrell meets Over the Garden Wall. Kinda. Characters include a bratty aspiring sorcerer, a demonic changeling who wants to be human, a witch, a sin eater, and a handsome devil. Over the course of the plot the question of whether the spirit realm(s) and mortal world should be kept separate will be a source of conflict.

I've had some aspects of this story/characters in my head since I was 14, so it's super special to me!

About me:

I'm an artist, writer, and musician. This is my first time trying to write anything as involved as a novel. I'm having loads of fun with it, though. I love music and reading and history, particularly fashion history, and anything related to the supernatural. The title of my blog is a reference to a song by Echo & the Bunnymen (though I think it's actually an inaccurate lyric :P ).

Ficton books I've been reading lately: Jonathan Strange & Mr. Norrell by Susanna Clarke, The Shadow of the Wind by Carlos Ruiz Zafón, Anne Rice's Vampire Chronicles books, Edgar Allan Poe short stories

Nonfiction books I've been reading: The Devil and All His Works by Dennis Wheatley, Celtic Mythology by Philip Freeman, The Making of Victorian Values by Ben Wilson, Occult Features of Anarchism by Erica Lagalisse, Halloween by Lesley Pratt Bannatyne

Some musical artists I'm into recently: Cranes, Kate Bush, The The, The Smiths, Fiona Apple, Alex G, Caroline Polachek, Imogen Heap, Depeche Mode, Fad Gadget, Pinback, Steeleye Span, The Cleaners From Venus, Suzanne Vega, The Garden, Jessica Pratt

Visual Artists I've been thinking about lately: Edward Gorey, Aubrey Beardsley, Nicole Rodrigues, Francisco de Goya, Leonora Carrington, Brian Froud, Wendy Froud, Willam Blake, Edvard Munch, Harry Clarke

Some of my favorite films: The Witch, Valerie and Her Week of Wonders, The Wicker Man (original), Meshes of the Afternoon, Days of Heaven, The Thief and the Cobbler, The Masque of the Red Death

Regardless of why you're here, I sincerely hope you enjoy browsing around, and feel free to say hi! :) I would love to link up with other writers on here and make some new pals. Also feel free to like this post and I'll give you a follow!

WIP INTRO POST

~I love tag games and ask games! I may be slow to respond though. -

[nubisaureus]

their (main) love language

character(s): timeskip!Suga, timeskip!Asahi, timeskip!Daichi

pairing(s): afab!reader x timeskip!Suga, timeskip!Asahi, timeskip!Daichi (separately)

contents: fluff, established relationship, love languages, dates, period cramps, everyday love, cuddles, taking care of you

a/n: sorry for the absence guys! exam season started in June, and I've been studying my ass off ever since! my last exam is on the 31st of July, and after that I'll be a bit more free to write! I've been rewatching Haikyuu though, hence why this post.

not proofread! also I'd love to make more posts like this, not only on haikyu, so let me know if you'd like that!

hope you enjoy! <3

●・○・●・○・●・○・●・○・●・○・●・○・●・○・●・○・●

Suga

Acts of service and physical touch: he loves making life easier for you, and will always make sure to make his presence known whenever you're doing something.

He'll dry your hair for you, make you a bath, whatever it takes to make your life easier. He could be grading tests, reading a book or whatever really, he'll always make sure you know he's there.

«I'm gonna go read a book, I'll let you grade your tests okay?» you get your book and go sit on the sofa. As you're halfway through the page, you hear rustling from the table, and then see Suga coming to the sofa. Soon enough your legs are stretched out on his lap, as he continues grading, occasionally giving your calves a gentle squeeze.

As he's done grading you soon enough end up in his arms, being cuddled as he whispers sweet words in your ears and kisses your head, inhaling your perfume.

Has it been a hard day? You bet he's going to brush your hair until you fall asleep on his lap, and then he'll bring you to bed, lay next to you, falling asleep to the soft sound of your slow breathing.

──────────────────────────────

Asahi

Words of affirmation and quality time: he's always wanted to hear things SAID, so it's not a surprise at all. He's also always super busy as a fashion designer, and so, whenever you two can spend time together he wants it to be meaningful. He likes to organize dates, and will do anything in his power to make everything you wish for become a reality.

«Look at this!!» you send him a video of a recently opened ice skating rink in Tokyo. You wouldn't see him for two weeks, since he had a fashion show in another city in Japan.

Two weeks had passed, and as promised, he came over. You open the door to find him there, a flower bouquet in his hands, as he extends one for you to grab. You do, and next thing you know you're at the skating rink, with you helping him as to not fall over, since he's absolutely terrible at it.

──────────────────────────────

Daichi

He's very difficult to categorize in my humble opinion, but if I'd have to summarize him in one word, I'd choose: care. He's a mix of all five love languages, he just wants to be there for you and take care of you in every situation, even if you insist on him not to, since you feel like a burden sometimes.

«Daichi, you don't have to do all of this...I've had my period countless times. It's okay; I took painkillers, they'll take effect soon and I'll be good.» he gives you a stern look, much like he did with his teammates in high school when they were exhausting themselves.

«There's no way I'm letting you go to practice like that. You're hereby forbidden from straining yourself until you feel better. And don't try to do otherwise, because I'm not going to move until you feel better [y/n].» you sigh, as he opens the sofa bed. He grabs a few blankets, and the heating pad, laying them on it. He gently lays you on the sofa, putting the heating pad on your abdomen, and covering you with the blankets. After a little while he comes back with snacks and the tv remote, laying next to you.

He cuddles you in his arms, massaging your lower back, soothing the sharp pain coursing through your body.

You spend the evening like that, cuddled in his arms while watching a tv show.

[bi-harrymort]

Hi!

A few words about me and this blog.

[but before we go any further... even though this is a blog dedicated to Voldemort and Harrymort, I don't support Rowling or her views; hate and bigotry of any kind will not be tolerated here.]

I've been a fan of the Harry Potter series since I was a kid, but I've never interacted with the fandom actively - I never created any fanart, posts, fanfics etc., I only consumed and shared them. So, this is my first attempt at sharing my own theories and any other weird little thoughts I may have on the subject.

Even though I am open to different interpretations and opinions, I know that many may not share this view and may not want to follow me because of it (righfully so), so I'm going to write some of my hot (or maybe not so hot) takes that are my primary headcanons and/or interpratations of the text.

I'm not a fan of the movies. I think the changes made in them distort the characters, the plot and the overall story.

I don't believe Voldemort is insane and/or badly written. I may write a charcter analysis based on the books one day when I'll have the time and energy... and if anyone will be interested in reading it, of course.

At the same time I don't think that HP and its characters (including Voldemort) are great and with no faults. I love the concept of the series and the world created, but I will also be the first to critique it and point out its faults.

Lord Voldemort is Lord Voldemort. Confusing, I know. What I mean by that is that I don't like differentiating between Voldemort (the insane bad one) and Tom Riddle (the brilliant good one). Recently, I started to become disconnected from the trend in the fandom of treating Tom Riddle and Voldemort as separate entities. At the same time, I'm not gonna go around telling people to stop characterizing them, or thinking about them, in whatever way they like! It's just something that I became sensitive to and don't subscribe to anymore. 

Harrymort is the only pairing I am single-minded about. Any other ship (that doesn't involve Harry or Voldemort) I'm very neutral about.

I am a fan of female Harry, but only because of one particular fic - the Historical Importance of Runic War Warding in the British Isles by samvelg. It's my all-time favourite fanfic, and I have as much, if not more, headcanons and thoughts about this particular HP AU rather than the original HP. (At the same time, I am aware why genderbending is disliked by fandoms, and I do agree that many genderbent stories are not great. Many of them erase the lgbt+ represantation, which is what I am not at all about.)

I don't have a set gender identity headcanon for Harrymort (trans, cis, female, male, nonbinary... they are all very much appreciated).

However, my preferred sexuality headcanon for both Harry and Voldemort is either bisexual, pansexual or asexual.

I am firmly a bi-racial/having Indian ancestry Harry headcanon fan.

Recently I started falling in love with Arabic and Korean, and a headcanon of bi-racial/having some sort of other ancestry Voldemort has began to cristalize in my mind (kind of an another mirror with bi-racial Indian Harry headcanon). I've had this thought after reading this one post about how Harry is changed in fics but Voldemort stays always the same when it comes to ethnicity/race.

I have plenty of different AU ideas about this pairing (many modelled more as an AU of the Historical Importance AU) and would like to realise them at some point, but I'd like for my first posted work to be an original idea.

The reason I'm creating this account now is because Tomarrymort stories are some of the best I've ever read. No matter how much time passes, I always come back to them. I am a slow-burn hoe (slow burns and long fics are like… 90% of my fanfic consumption), and I appreciate the vast variety of themes and motifs that these stories are capable of getting into.

On a final note, I'd like to make a disclosure.

Any opinions I have are simply that - opinions. I don't think that they are the best or the most accurate or that they should be imposed on other people. Everyone has a right to like whatever they want to like, and to think whatever they want to think, as long as that does not evolve into attacking actual human beings.

It's fiction. It's fun. I appreciate people with different opinions so long as we stay mature and respectful to each other about exchanging them.

[theradicalscrivener]

Life is suffering.

I'm struggling to hold it together long enough to finish the semester but it's going Not Well. The good gnus is I have finished a few short stories. The bad gnus is ... Everything else. I'll need to figure out when to post some of the stuff from the past few months because I'm never sure if I should be aiming for "peak hours" or just post it whenever is convenient. Unfortunately, I've been to exhausted to do anything other than work and such for a while now. I'm hoping that in a few weeks when I finish my finals I'll be able to unwind a bit and get some housekeeping stuff done. I also need to figure out what stories I've actually posted here and what I still have left to share. I know I did some CDE recently as well as the first stage of a slow(ish) macro growth story which I don't think has been posted here. I feel like I've also done some one shot stuff.

I'll try to give a brief recap of the past few months because I know people have been asking but also I know that most people don't want to have to scroll past a massive block of text so I'll keep it snappy.

I'm in an upper division accounting class. The final class I need to finish my bachelor's in accounting degree. The professor has structured the entire class around being a group oriented endeavor. All assignments (sans exams) are group projects. You'd think being an upper division course, everyone would be knowledgeable in the field and have at least the bare minimum moral fortitude and work ethic but you'd be wrong. My group has refused to do any work and since I dont want to fail because of other people I've been doing the work of 5 people by myself which is a huge part of why I'm so worn out.

I've spoken with the proff about it and at first she seemed to be on my side. Literally the whole class knows I'm the only one in my group doing work. During all the presentations I'm the only one who speaks and when the other members are forced to speak/answer questions they have no idea what to say. Like I've literally written briefs for them so they'd at least have something to say and they refuse to even read that.

A few weeks ago the proff pulled me aside after class and said that she'd grade my work separately from the rest of my group and that I should do the final assignment (which is like 40% of the class grade) solo and leave the rest of the group to handle themselves. I did the entire assignment by myself and emailed it to her rather than submitting it through the group portal. She responds to my email and said she has no idea why I would email her directly and told me i was supposed to use the group portal. She has no memory of us every talkin about the group issues so now the rest of the group are getting my grade on the final project even tho they didn't do anything. I haven't even heard from them in weeks. To make matters worse the proff never changed my grades and so I have the grades for the rest of the group (which are very low because we are graded on the participation of the whole group and since most of the group never participates in the presentation, and when they do they don't know anything about the subject I'm getting graded down for them not doing their job.)

I have a few more weeks and a few more assignments left of this shit. I just need to survive til mid may. Hopefully I don't crash and burn completely.

In other gnus. Things at work have been insane. I've been doing triple duty there as well. I work two jobs. One is a salary job which is tough to really say how much I actually do there ( but even then my salary is only 800 a month so it's not meant to be a full time job). On top of that I have my hourly work. I've been putting in over 100 hours at the hourly work pretty consistently lately.

On top of all that ny grandmother passed away at the start of the month. I ended up on an impromptu road trip to go to the funeral and deal with family stuff all while keeping up with work and school. I'm back home now but I'm extra exhausted and also down bad with the Rona. I'm tired and sore and sick and cranky as all get out.

But hopefully... I just need a few more weeks.

[sunburnacoustic]

HI MUSE ASKS

2, 11, 14, 32, 36 (I love this question), 45, 51, 59!!

sorry it’s a lot but I’m also not sorry

Hi hi hi @goosetown5! Thanks so much the ask 😊Don't be sorry at all, I'm so pleased to chat to you about Muse!

2. What's a Muse song that sounds better live than in the studio?

Without a doubt, Verona, that's the first song that comes to my mind! I had the pleasure of seeing it live, it's a literal religious experience. Matt lost in the sauce, eyes closed, playing guitar on the verses. My gig had a really good crowd too, so in my mind, I'll always remember Verona now with the chorus of fans singing, "I neeeeed you sooo" in a slight French accent, the reverb around the stadium on Matt's guitar and just how much bigger the song sounds live: you can feel the drums under your skin, in your chest, in your bones. Confetti blasted out into the air just after Matt belts the chorus, blue light lights up the stadium, hands are in the air, ugh. Beautiful. It's an experience just listening to the song in normal everyday life can't recreate. It's a great song otherwise, lyrically it's my favourite on the album, but holy shit you can't return to the studio version after the experience of seeing it live :) I need to experience this song again!

Eyes closed, just lost in the sauce guitar line.

EDIT: My pictures don't half do this moment justice, so enjoy these pics from @prttyinpvnk!

Pretty special, eh?

11. Favourite song that's never been played live?

Falling Away With You. I love that song so much, the way it transitions between the verses and the choruses, such agitation on that chorus, the change from a major -> minor feel, the synths, the lyrics; oh, rip my heart out! I'll never understand why Muse have never played it live. I guess, technically the did almost play it... that one time at an iHeart Radio gig or festival or something in 2018 that Matt began playing its intro on the acoustic guitar and then went "nah, just kidding" and began playing Something Human. Matt why would you toy with our hearts like that </3 They've teased it a few times before.

Map Of Your Head is another. Muse can write such addictive pop songs! (I would also want to say Falling With The Crowd because that's an old one from one of those demos that we have no live footage/audio of, but it was supposedly played regularly in 1997. It's quite fully formed for a song of that era, it's a proper song with verse-chorus-bridge-outro, and I think it's a tune. The problem is, it wasn't played at the one and only 1997 gig we have audio of*, Plymouth's Soundwaves Festival, that was taped by a friend of Muse's off a radio live broadcast locally in Plymouth. And there are no known setlists on which it appears, so has it ever been played live? Who knows.)

*Update, nevermind I found out we have a tiny clip of video footage by someone who saw Muse at a different gig in 1997! It's 50 seconds long, the videotaper seems to have been keener on recording Dom, and it's of the song Boredom. No mention of Falling With The Crowd on the set though. Still, what a treat, it's from so long ago, Matt wasn't nearly the performer he would shortly become. I'll make a different post about that though, so that I actually answer your ask here!

14. Favourite live riff/jam/intro/outro?

I love this question because I've been thinking about it recently! 😊

The improvised, extended Jimmy Jam riff at Wembley before Time Is Running Out. What annoyed me for years is that they split up the clip on the Muse Youtube in ~2015 to separately have the Jimmy Jam riff as one video and TIRO as another, and they fade Jimmy Jam out and that got stuck in my head without the ending. I should make a proper edit of it from HAARP because that jam is my jam, I love it!

Also, how it ends is so cool:

A second favourite is the outro to Assassin played at the Mayan Theatre in 2015 (Theater?), it's so fuzzy it's so filthy, it's so heavy I could listen to it all day. Drones was a good era for Muse's slow-heavy/chugging stuff that The Handler kicked off. I don't know the name of this riff, but it's so good.

And I must mention the riff played during the French 1999 Olaive interview, where the interviewers asked Matt questions and he had to reply by largely playing his guitar, an acoustic, and it was so beautiful despite Matt being really young and nervous, that one of the interviewers told him at the end of the interview that there was magic in his guitar (how poetic the French were, but he's right!). I'm not cheating on this question though, it is a legitimate intro because they brought it back years later and opened Unintended at Wembley with this piece, but transposed higher. It's a classical guitar etude by Cuban composer Leo Brouwer.

(And of course, some classics - Helsinki/Glasgow jam -> bringing bagpipes to a stadium rock gig and then playing Muse fuzzy bluesy hard rock under it is something I admire so fucking much)

32. Have you ever followed Matt's advice to not give a fuck if people think you're a pretentious wanker?

Yes, definitely, and the realisation came for me more from an off-stage moment rather than one on stage, because I guess in some ways you personally can write off on-stage ambition and personas as just something that's easier to do on stage, a place for theatre, but the fact that Matt just lives his life without shame, without feeling self-conscious, without giving a fuck what anyone else may think— I'm learning that from him, and it significantly came from this moment back in 2014:

He's out there living his best life, unbothered. He's knows not to care what anyone else thinks of him (and my respect for him just skyrocketed after this). That made it click for me, just don't give a fuck, don't care if anyone thinks you're a pretentious wanker, cut all the hangups in life—don't be afraid to be yourself! I've kept that in mind since 😊

36. Favourite song to sing along to.

Hm, I suppose it depends on the setting! In a stadium, hanging onto people, bouncing around, headbanging, screaming together "No one's gonna take me alive..." is a life-affirming experience!

Otherwise at home, on your own, a really satisfying vocal part to sing... I'd say a lot of Matt's falsetto bits are so much fun to try and do because you can lose your head and turn into an absolute diva for 20 seconds, I highly recommend trying it with no shame (refer to Q. 32!) And have I tried Micro Cuts out loud? Yeah, while fearing for my life I have lmao. Don't need neighbours calling the paramedics on me! Supermassive Black Hole is fun to try and sing along to (multiple parts). I Belong To You is nice. Showbiz is fun. Undisclosed Desires is another, Screenager too. Dead Inside is so good to sing along to! (and we haven't even got into singing riffs live, something Matt noted Muse fans do a lot live :D)

You're so right, I love this question too!  😊 (Side fun fact, a singer friend of mine told me that Time Is Running Out sung properly is actually quite technically difficulut— it's an acceptable Grade 5 piece to perform on Trinity College vocal exams (the rockschool ones))

45. Tell me a little-known fact about Muse

Oh, yes please! (not the song :P) I've been hoping someone would ask this one :)

Here's one I've decided on at random: Muse played a gig away in North Devon on Matt's 17th birthday. Someone found a poster for the gig years later in like 2008, look at how Muse sometimes stylised their name—quite psychedelic! This was on 9 June 1995, in Torrington.

51. Dom - bleach blond era, 90s slacker-band, wraparound shades era, surfer dude era, Drones black hair era, 2022 'pornstache' baby blue hair era, or 2006 aviators era?

Do you know what, I'm partial to aviators Dom. I'm so fucking partial to aviators Dom. But I think we all know which picture from Dom's Instagram I had in mind when I typed up "surfer dude-era Dom", don't we?

59. Favourite Muse accessory? (Matt's OOS era thick necklace, the guitar-pick necklace, any rings, etc.)

Very partial to the pick-necklace! Independently of Matt, I'd been doing it myself for years, so I was delighted to find that Matt had a pick necklace phase too (except mine is very DIY: it's a pick held together to a chain with paperclips lmao. I haven't lost the pick in 7 years so clearly it works... happy to show pictures of it if you like!)

Matt's 2006-era braces are a top notch accessory too, that was a really good look! I picked up a fondness of scarves from him too, which was also mostly BHAR-era photoshoots as well. Glitter in Matt's hair, A+ accessory; love it.

That time someone stuck a star on Matt's forehead

And of course, Matt's sunglasses. I wouldn't be the "Matt wearing his sunglasses on his head like my mum" blog if I didn't mention that.

(^3 pairs! of sunglasses!)

(This got quite Matt-heavy, didn't it? I love Dom's ever-expanding shades of trousers too! Orange is the latest one the WOTP tour has blessed us with :) Not really an accessory though, is it? Otherwise I'd be able to openly drool over Matt's cool jackets.)

[googly-eyed-android]

Sorry for disappearing off of the face of the earth for several months, we've kind of had a lot of stuff happening, and I'm not just talking about the stuff occurring in the wider Jewish world. I'm gonna talk about the stuff specific to us since you can learn about the Jewish stuff in other places

So, our long-term project to get me out of front has technically succeeded, but not in the way we were planning. I am technically not fronting right now, despite also fronting right now. Basically, the brain has pulled some shenanigans (oh, speaking of the brain, in the course of this we learned that the brain is its own entity within the system (well, technically two entities, since the conscious and subconscious brain are separated from each other). It's not sentient, it's not a person, but it is an entity, and it's concerned with the wellbeing and functioning of this brain and body and its inhabitants, and turns out it's been just as desperate for me to be out of front as I've been. When we ended up in this odd state of affairs with me fronting but not fronting we were wondering if we should stay like this or go back to how we were before, because we weren't sure if it was better or worse for us to be like this, and the brain very insistently said "stay where you are, it's better like this" and we were like "huh, who said that?"). But the reason we wanted me out of front is because my fatigue kept getting worse and worse and worse to the point that we just couldn't do anything anymore and somehow it was still getting worse and in our current state my fatigue is actually getting better (slowly, but it'll add up) so despite this being very far from what we had in mind we are sticking with it. Maybe at some point in the future, when my energy levels are farther away from "critical", we can try to do an actual switch instead of whatever this nonsense is (I'm being very uncharitable to our current situation because it is very strange, but since it's actually an improvement it feels a bit unfair)

Anyway, so we've mostly just been trying to manage with first the holidays and then all the awful stuff while still keeping me in a state of improvement, which was pretty touch and go sometimes (and the holidays always make me lose a ton of energy so that was really just damage control), which is why we've been off tumblr for longer than we usually leave tumblr for. And we're not really getting back on Tumblr now (why did our keyboard capitalize tumblr that time but not the other times 🤔), I don't know if we're going to be posting much, we'll see. But anyway, this improvement is really the first concrete improvement in our situation in literal years, so it's actually a pretty big deal. We've been stuck with this slow deterioration for nearly a decade at this point, and now it's on the upswing. So I expect that in a few years from now our life will look very different than how it's been looking so far. We might even have finally moved out of this goddamn house that I've been wanting to move out of since I was a teeny tiny child (literally, I found an old notebook of mine recently from when I was eight years old (to anyone who knows about the significant change in status quo that occurred when I was eight, which is none of you since no one reads this blog closely enough to remember what I'm talking about, but I'll say it anyway, this was definitely from before that change) where I wrote briefly about the fact that I'd been wanting to escape the body's family for a while). Here's hoping that the world doesn't go too much to shit by then

Anyway, here's some random good news: we've been experiencing some pretty bad allergic reactions recently (this isn't the good news lol) to a panallergen that's pretty much impossible to avoid, but we just managed to get our hands on some antihistamines! Now we can eat food and get a mild to moderate allergic reaction instead of a moderate to severe one! Yay! Okay, maybe this news doesn't sound as good as it feels. It's just nice to be able to eat again, instead of having to weigh our hunger against the allergic reaction, which we've been having to do for several weeks. Hopefully the reactions improve soon, we're not actually sure why they've been so bad recently, sometimes they just worsen for a while and then get better again

[illicien]

🫐🍉🍐

🫐 What’s your favorite underrated thing in your fandom? (A ship that only you seem to write for, a character there’s almost no fics about, a trope that criminally hasn’t been written yet, etc.)

Oooo, this one is a bit tough because I've recently jumped ship and haven't done nearly enough reading to feel like I can say anything in particular where WinterBaron is concerned.

Heck, I'm not even sure IronStrangeFrost is technically underrated anymore; it just exists.

YOU KNOW WHAT? I know. I keep reading fun fics that have shenanigans ensuing that result in Winter Soldier Bucky being around and Bucky having no idea what to do with him - I wanna see more of people bringing the Winter Soldier to Doctor Strange and being like "hello, time shenanigans have occurred, or reality shenanigans, I dunno, but the Wakandans have been pissed with me since I broke Zemo outta jail and I could still use help dealing with this asshole."

Does that answer this one? I don't even know. Maybe that's just something I'll have to write for myself. This is what happens when I recently jumped ship and am still more familiar with writing Stephen Strange than anyone else.

🍉 Do you prefer to write short fics or long fics? Multichaptered works or single ones? Why?

I actually genuinely prefer to write multichaptered / long fics. I really love world-building, and the build-up to a relationship and all the stepping stones that made it work? One of my favourite things. I love a good slow burn, whether that's a couple taking six+ years to get together, or having to find one another again in an entirely different life. My brain just doesn't function well when I feel like I have to skip those building blocks. People who can do that are just. Great. Wonderful. Amazing.

🍐 Is there anything in canon that you absolutely hate and love to fix in fics? A wrong choice made, a fuck-up in characterization, a misunderstanding never cleared up, a conversation never shown onscreen, etc...

I feel like all I need to say is "I've been in the MCU fandom for a very long time" to answer this. When is the last time I genuinely agreed with how canon handled something? I have no idea. But I will forever stand by my annoyance with the fact that GOTG 1 blatantly pointed out that there was the ability to share the power when using the fucking stones, and it just never came up again. And that's not even to speak of the number of characters they just...

Plenty of you have seen the "he's a ghost!!" post about Bucky and just how fucking not subtle in the slightest he was as the Winter Soldier, so yeah, I reject that portrayal and prefer to stick with 'they told us he was a ghost, he's a fucking ghost' method of things.

I'm not even going to begin to touch on the way that MoM left me rolling my eyes at the fact that they were just retreading the same character growth story as the first movie with Stephen.

I don't even know how to start talking about the fact that Tony "I Am Iron Man/The Suit and I Are One" Stark somehow wound up dating a woman who was distinctly trying to separate him from his suits.

SO ANYWAYS. YEAH. Look, there's no one specific thing. Canon is a grab bag that I will casually disregard at a moment's notice if it feels like it just doesn't make sense. (See, this is why I should stick to writing AUs.)

[lunaofthevalley]

Steadfast Tin Soldier |||

Bucky Barnes x Reader

The third and finally part is finally here. Thank you to everyone who has taken their time to read this little mini series. It was an idea I came up with on a whim and I wasn't sure I even wanted to post it but I'm glad I did. So without further a do, enjoy 🦄

Note: if you want to be added to my permanent tag list comment down below, and if you want to request something don't be afraid to send an inbox. And if you're a Peter Parker fan keep your eyes peeled for my upcoming Peter story based slightly of the little mermaid.

It had been about a week since the party and things were drastically different. No one has seen or heard from Bucky ever since he walked out of the party and while Y/N hated to admit it, she was overcome with worry about what had happened to him. It wasn't the first time he had done something of the sort. After something happened that he found incredibly stressful he'd disappear for a couple of days and when he came back it was as if nothing had ever happened. But this time he'd been gone for longer than usual.

Y/N was currently sat in her room, in front of her vanity playing with her hair. She stared at herself in the mirror and she as been doing so frequently for the past week. Bucky had called her beautiful shortly before abandoning her, but if she was being honest, she hadn't felt that way ever since the party. She knew her beauty had nothing to do with Bucky leaving her there, but that's how she felt for some reason. Like she wasn't good enough.

She was taken aback when she heard a knock on her door. No one ever came down to her quarters, except Natasha and Wanda, who at that point just walked right into the room with out knocking. Y/N stood up and walked to the door. She expected many things to be on the other side but not what was actually there.

In front of her was a bruised and bloodied Bucky who looked as if he could fall dead in a matter of seconds. His clothing was ripped and his long locks were tangled and greasy. His usually shiny metal arm had dirt between its ridges and it looked opaque. His eyes which were usually a bright blue looked grey and sad. He opened his mouth to say something but you cut him off.

"Go to the bathroom and get undressed." She ordered.

Bucky was taken aback, "Excuse me?"

"Go to the bathroom and get undressed." Y/N repeated, "I suppose you're here to talk, well we'll talk when you no longer look like walking death."

"Y/N...I-"

"Into the shower now Barnes!"

Bucky gave her one last look before walking past her and into the bathroom. Y/N waited until she heard the door close before releasing the breath she had been holding. She quickly composed herself before darting out of her room and towards Bucky's. She wanted to get him a clean change of clothes so that he wouldn't have to wear those ripped, dirty ones after he left the shower. She also passed by the lab and grabbed one of the first aid kits and a couple of more things she considered she would need for patching up Bucky.

She returned to her room moments before Bucky left the shower. He stepped out only covered in a towel from the waist down. Y/N was sure she would lose her composure right there and then. His toned chest was glistening with the small water droplets that fell from his damp hair, gliding down it, outlining his abs more than ever. His metal arm looked shiny again, and while he was now free of the dried blood, Y/N could make out cuts all over his face, arms, chest and stomach.

She gestured with her head to the change of clothes she had left on her bed. He didn't say anything as he grabbed them and went back into the bathroom to change. After a couple of minutes he emerged again.

Y/N was sat on the bed, her chin resting on her hand, which rested on her knee. She looked up at Bucky through her eyelashes and gave him a once over all over again. "What the hell happened to you Bucky? You've been missing for a week!"

Bucky looked down in shame, feeling bad for not telling her where he had gone. "Fury had a mission for me. It was supposed to be a quick in and out, but took more time than what we thought. I left the morning after the party. Only Steve and Tony knew where I was."

She pursed her lips and slowly nodded her head, "Well what kind of mission was it that left you looking like that?"

"It was to stop some rogue HYDRA agents, it was a small group. No more than ten. It was an easy mission Y/N. I look worse than what it actually was. Most of the blood wasn't mine." Bucky explained.

"You're covered in cuts!"

"They're just small scratches Doll."

Y/n stood up from the bed and went over to her desk to retrieve the first aid kit. She then gestured for Bucky to sit down on the bed, which he did without argument. She approached him and set the stuff down beside him before turning to him again. "Take your shirt off."

"What?"

"I said take your shi-"

"I heard what you said, I'm old, not deaf." Bucky remarked, "I just put the shirt on, why do I need to take it off?"

"I need to make sure you have no deep cuts that need stitching."

Bucky let out an earthy chuckle, "I already told you I'm fine Doll."

"It's protocol Barnes."

"Oh so we're on last name basis now, huh?"

"Just take off your damn shirt Bucky!"

"Okay, okay." He then took of his shirt and in that moment its as if all the air left Y/N's body. It wasn't the first time she'd seen him shirtless, she had recently just seen him in only a towel, and it also wasn't the first time she revised him after a mission. But something about this time felt different.

It was happening in her room and not in the lab, and the unspoken matters between them made the atmosphere tense. As Y/N took to cleaning some of Bucky's cuts, he looked up at her. Her face was scrunched up in concentration, her E/C eyes were focused on what she was doing, her lips pursed, which made it look like she was pouting. Some strands of her H/C H/T hair fell on her face, which was slightly highlighted by the suns light coming in through the windows, giving her and the room an aura of gold. A few more minutes of silence passes before Bucky grabbed her hand and spoke up.

"I owe you an apology." He started. Y/N made no sound and only looked at him with wide eyes, "What I did to you is something no man should ever do, and I regretted my decision to do so the moment I walked out the door, but I was too ashamed to go back. Truth is I became overwhelmed with everything. You looking perfect, the ambient, the team and their stupid plan...just everything became too much and I needed to get out of there. I know I should've explained but I couldn't.

"Truth is Doll, I've been head over heels for you since the moment I saw you, and then I met you and got to know you and I just kept falling deeper into a pit I knew I wouldn't be able to escape. You're everything I've wanted in a woman. You were literally the Ballerina to my Tin Soldier.

"But you deserve better than me. I'll never be the Bucky I was 75 years ago, and I'm no longer the Winter soldier. I'm now just the shell of James Buchanan Barnes, trying to figure out how I fit into the world now and coping with what I had to put up with during my time in HYDRA. I have severe PTSD, I have nightmares and crazy impulses...and you Doll, deserve so much better than that, so much better than me. So I'm sorry."

Bucky let go of her hand and looked down in embarrassment. Y/N was shocked, to say the least. Bucky had just poured his heart out to her without hesitating. She could no longer help to be mad at him, how could she after that. She slowly crouched until she was looking slightly up at him. She reached out a hand and placed it on his cheek, his metal hand coming up instantly to gently wrap his fingers around her wrist as she slowly caressed his warm cheek.

"You know, I've been head over heels for you too. Ever since that day we met. Just one look at you and I knew you were different. Not in the bad way, but in the best way possible. I have never once looked at you and thought about you as a broken, tortured man. To me you have always been, and always will be just Bucky. Never the winter soldier, never Captain Americas best friend. Only Bucky.

"And what you're saying about me deserving someone better is bullshit, pardon my French but that's what it is. You do not get to decide who I do and don't deserve in my life, I decide that myself, and I want you in my life. But more importantly Bucky, you deserve this, you deserve me in your life, and I may sound like a hypocrite telling you you deserve me while also telling you, you don't decide who I deserve, but it's the truth. You deserve someone who will be there for you, who will put up with you PTSD, someone who will look at you like the most precious thing there is, and god Bucky I really hope you let me be that someone for you."

It was now Bucky who was shocked. He saw some tears trickle down Y/N's face and he felt the same on his. Both of the were overcome with emotion, everything that had been pent up for a week and from months before was now coming to light. Bucky knew he didn't have the words to reply, and even if he did he didn't know how to say them. So instead of replying verbally he thought he'd show her what he felt physically.

He leaned down and grabbed her by her waist as if she weighed nothing and brought her to his lap, pulled her as close as possible and then slowly but passionately connected their lips. She didn't protest at all. Her hand with which she had been caressing his cheek remained there while her other found itself wrapped around his broad shoulders. Their kiss started of slow, allowing them to set a pace and get used to the feel of each other's lips, but as time passed the kiss got deeper, faster, needier, and they never separated until the need of air became greater than the need of each other's lips.

Their foreheads rested on one another's, Bucky brought up a hand to caress her neck while both her hands played with the soft curls at the back of his head. They stared into each other's eyes while regaining their breath and composure.

"I love you," Bucky spoke up breaking the looming silence, "I know it might be too soon to say it, but it's how I feel."

Y/n leaned in and gave him a small, slow peck. She moved back but just a small amount so that her lips would ghost over his when she talked, "I love you too, so damn much Bucky, you have no idea."

"I think I have a slight clue Doll." He smiled.

Both of them remained embraced for a little while after that, finally knowing how it felt and not wanting to lose the sensation it gave them both. Neither of them had ever before felt as comfortable as they did then.

"Say...you still kind of owe me a dance." Y/N remarked a little later.

Bucky looked down at her, "Is that so?"

Y/N untangled herself from Bucky and stood up, offering him a hand which he gladly took as he stood up as well. Y/N led him to a part of her room that would give them enough space to dance. They positioned themselves almost identically to how they had been the other night, only this time, Y/N rested her head on Bucky's bare chest, right above his steady beating heart.

"Hey Doll...we don't have any music."

"F.R.I.D.A.Y" Y/N spoke up and not a second later an old song from the 40's started playing. Bucky hummed in contempt, recognizing the song and started to sway you both gently from side to side.

"You know....I guess fairytales sometimes do come true." Bucky said.

Y/N looked up at him, "Why do you say that?"

"In the story, the Steadfast Tin Soldier has to leave his ballerina due to...unfortunate circumstances...and after going through a long and hard journey he comes back to her. And well...I came back to you Doll, it might not have been a long and hard journey, more of a week long, average mission but you get the point."

She let out a small giggle which moved him to his core, "I suppose you're right. You know I find it funny how many parallels you seem to have with the story. It's a tad bit comical really."

"Well I guess stories have more influence in our lives than we think. And the Steadfast Tin Soldier isn't that bad a story to have parallels with."

"If you say so," she replied, "just don't get eaten by a fish, don't see how that would work out."

Bucky laughed, "Don't worry, that won't happen."

And so they danced on until day turned to night, they remained in each other's arms until the late hours of the night. Now that they had each other they didn't ever want to let go, never wanting to live without that feeling anymore. The Tin Soldier had been reunited with his ballerina, and there was no evil Jack-In-the-Box trying to separate them.

In the fairytale, the Soldier and the ballerina perish in a fire together, the flames making them melt into a single, perfect Tin heart. But Bucky and Y/N only melted into each other, coming as close to the other as much as they could. Their hearts were sure to become one after that day , neither of them being able to deny their feelings for the other anymore. And it was a beautiful thing.

The story of the Steadfast Tin Soldier and his Ballerina.

...

"Hey Bucky, what was it you said earlier about the teams stupid plan?"

"You don't want to know Doll."

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