#I’ve been. Doing this since 8 am
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sitting at my desk hunched over a tablet all day is not very good for my back me thinks
#I am in a mild amount of pain#Armageddon rambles woah#I’ve been. Doing this since 8 am#it’s almost 7 pm#(I’ve taken some short breaks dw but Still)
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hear me out: choso opening up to yuuji about his lack of sexual experience, and yuuji—out of the goodness of his heart—offering to give his big brother a live demonstration.
#i’ve been thinking about this since 8 am. it just—sigh. has occupied my brain. i’ll write a little something but the idea makes me INSANE.#and you? well—you’re along for the ride#i think you’re just an unwitting (/j) friend. i think… i think it would be too much for either of them if you were a partner#you’re a friend with a crush that agrees to do something stupid (wonderful)#it’s not that yuuji has a ton of experience (although i think in a modern au he would perhaps have a slutty frat bro phase LOL)#it’s more that he’s had a gf or few and choso knows yuuji knows what he’s doing#anyway sorry if this is anticlimactic for u all but it makes me crazy
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parksborn au where harry is a prince. that’s it. i’m not awake enough to think of anything else but harry is a prince and somehow him and peter become best friends as kids and grow up constantly aware of each other and the struggles they face but their struggles are completely opposite from each other’s and and. and. and.
#parksborn#thinking of like. like 8 year old prince harry sneaking off during an event and meeting stuck in poverty peter parker#recently orphaned living with his aunt and uncle but sneaking out at night to explore or something or just to do something because he hasnt#been able to sleep much since losing his parents#and harry is like imma be honest i have no clue where i am#and peter is like ur literally the prince?? this is your kingdom????#and harry is like yeah but also i have left the palace grounds a total of 17 times#and peter is like ok well there’s a litter of puppies being raised by the street dog i’ve taken care of since i was 5. wanna meet them#i said im too tired to think of more and then i thought of more#and now it is the only thing i can think of#god the way i would be writing this right this second if i wasn’t literally half asleep currently
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WDYM SULETTA LOST A DUEL????
#seriously#I’m two weeks away from finals and I’m behind on all of my animes#BUT OF ALL THE THINGS I THOUGHT WOULD HAPPEN THIS WAS NOT ACCOUNTED FOR#fighting? sure#murder? wouldn’t be the first time#SULETTA LOSING A DUEL? SULETTA LOSING HER RIGHT TO BE MIORINE’S WIFE?#HOW?????#seriously!!!#I got like less than 5 hours of sleep in me and I’ve been studying since 8 am (it’s now 11pm)#I AM BEAT#I CANNOT BE WATCHING ANIME AT THIS TIME CAUSE TOMORROW I HAVE TO DO IT ALL OVER AGAIN#I don’t even have the energy to play honkai and I really want to play honkai🥺#whatever I’m shook#I genuinely didn’t think she’d ever lose a duel and now I’m so curious 😂#g witch#mobile suit gundam: the witch from mercury#suletta mercury#miorine rembran#suletta x miorine#mioletta#g witch spoilers#spoilers#mobile suit gundam spoilers#gundam spoilers#witch from mercury spoilers#mobile suit gundam: the witch from mercury spoilers#gundam
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#the older I get the more I’m floored by Charlie’s ability to do his job as he did while having a migraine issue#I have a congenital migraine disorder#and even though I haven’t had an attack in a while#when I took a train down to [redacted big city] to visit one of my best friends on Monday#I woke up a 1 am Tuesday morning thinking I’d had a stroke or something#because an entire side of my face wouldn’t move#then about 30 seconds later the burning pain and nausea came and I knew exactly what it was#which is how I spent the next 8 hour passed out on her bethroom and bedroom floor as every pain med we tried did nothing (my prescription#migraine meds stopped working about 4 months ago)#and then I. a 23 year old woman. had to call my mom at her work and ask her to send my dad the 3.5 hour drive to pick me up#I’ve been in bed ever since we got home#so the fact that he was not only able to work through that. but to never miss a show when he was the one playing a percussion instrument#and always sitting next to Keith’s (the loudest player’s) amps#is insane to me#no wonder Keith mentioned it in Life#it’s just entirely another level of dedication
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man. I genuinely wish all of You nothing but happiness. doesn’t even have to be joy, just peace and contentment
just. so much kindness. You all deserve so much better.
#(lots of personal stuff in the tags)#its been I think nearly 8 years now since I was in a psychiatry for the first time#and like. I don’t remember much from that time#but I do remember how hopeless everything felt#it felt like such a fucking waste of time. like my doom was inevitable#and here I am now#my life is nothing like I thought it would be#it sure as fuck isn’t perfect. I struggle daily#but I can genuinely say I am at a point in life where I have found peace with how things are#and can find joy in small things every day#and that’s closer to paradise than I ever thought I could get#and I know it’ll only get better from here#to add to this: it was NOT a straight line of recovery#I was in a clinic again over new years#but I am here. I have hope. I am genuinely#like#good?#not in the GOOD!!! way but. again. in a sorta. hey this is how it is and I am still worthy and will still find happiness#sorta way#I’m happier than I’ve ever been. GENUINE happiness.#and joy. genuine joy.#and yes my thoughts still try to disagree#but I don’t listen to them anymore. I tell them it’s okay to be scared of the unknown but that we can do it together#anyways this is. way more personal than I ever expected something on this blog to be#just. know there is hope. please.#angel rambles
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i need to know who was actually doing the writing in the diary at the start of episode 3 because i have never seen anybody write their 8s like that before and now i can’t stop thinking about it
#i want to assume it was michael sheen since the scene is supposed to be aziraphale writing his diary but like#i know how filming works so obviously it isn’t necessarily actually him#but i’ve never seen anybody write the number 8 like that before#it started like an s? but then joined it up?#i’ve been sitting here drawing 8s for like 5 minutes bc i can’t stop thinking about it lmao#i am also happy he crosses his 7s tho lmao bc i do that too#eli speaks#good omens#aziraphale
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#today on: Allie Liveblogs Her Parents’ Divorce:#two and a half fucking hour long phone call with my dad about how he thinks my mom is the problem#in the INSANE dynamic they have going on with his 24 year old lesbian employee who is LIVING WITH THEMMMMMMM#and him doing his signature I Am Just A Reasonable Man Perceiving The Situation Objectively shtick#us both mouthing I WILL KILL YOU!!!!!!!! at the phone#ohhhhhh he wanted us to say she should just get over her frustration and then there wouldn’t be a problem#and she shouldn’t be frustrated in the first place because the problems Aren’t Even Legitimate Problems Because They Could Be Worse#and like. my mom has been bringing up divorce to us since 2019 and he has expressed that he wants to improve the marriage recently#and they uh. got married due to a miscommunication and are entirely incompatible LOL like i’ve been Trying but this call made me feel like…#Its So Over My Dudes#but apparently he thinks their marriage is NOT on thin ice it’s a 9/10#revised to ‘idk MAYBE it’s an 8/10’ when he told us he doesn’t think. in 34 years. they have ever had a two sided conversation…#they Have Never Once Had A Conversation by his recounting. thats not true but it IS an insane thing to say STEVE#ohhhhhh he makes me mad ohhhhh i’ve been in my Dad Anger era for a couple months and he brought it to the SURFACE tonight babey!!!!!!!!!#ohhhhhhhh he does not respect his wife he does not try to understand her he does not think of her as a real person#and i mean. she’s nuts and takes her feelings out on everyone around her!!! she is only just now seeking to manage her adhd#but she tries so hard for him and he’s just. full of shit and i’m sick of him. ok cutting myself off but this has been:#ALHPD#which will be the tag now ig if anyone wants to mute LOL#ohhhhhhhhhh this has dealt me so much psychic damage i have so much evil energy now lmao#ohhhhhh 🔪🔪🔪👨🏻🪚🪚🪚#🔨🔨🔨🔨#🔪🔪🔪🔪🔪🔪🔪🔪🔪🔪🔪🔪🔪🔪🔪🔪🔪📈📈📈📈📈📈📈📈#ok that’s all
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i think i will take a nap. a christmas nap.
#my brother came to the house at 8:30 am and i’ve been up since and i need to be up Early tomorrow#so i probably should take one now before dinner……#my mom is making lasagna i’m so fucking excited i love lasagna so much might as well call me garfield#i’ve also smoked so much weed with my brother today this kid doesn’t quit#tbf me either but i think that’s the problem—#anyways he went to his house to nap so i will do the same for like an hour or two
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so looks like i am NOT writing today bc i’ve been done w my eye doctor appointment for many hours now but i ended up going shopping w my sister & stuff afterwards & like i’m home & all now (i ended up talking w my fam for a bit & shit), BUT THE POINT IS - THE REASON I AM LIKELY NOT … is bc … our damn wifi is the bane of my existence & is once again being a little bitch & being barely functional so 🙃 i legit had plans to do things both here & on missy i’m upset - sighs, hopefully it has its shit together by tomorrow ily guys -
#( a pathological people pleaser // ooc )#( mobile )#(yeah it’s only 6:30 but considering it’s been like this all day i don’t know if it’s gonna end up working at all & idk how much longer i’l#up bc i’ve been awake since like 2/3 am & if im not writing or anything i might just head to bed soon)#(so yeah sighs. there’s a new ep of georgie & mandy’s first marriage tonight too w missy in it so like :/)#(i mean idk if i’ll be up till 8 but still like - she gets new content today & i can’t even write her)#(& i just generally wanna write my boyyy bc i always do duh)#(PLUS THERE WAS SOME LEAKED STOBIN CONTENT I THINK)#(so sad times all around sighs)#long tags tw
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Holding the incredible fic I’ve been reading none stop all day hostage until I finish my work
#I’m reading complicated creation- the mha fic#have I seen literally. two seasons of mha? yes. am I super into it? not that much. I’m enjoying but. like. it’s not brainrot#I started reading this fic after seeing it in a video. I’ve been really off reading rn and no fic has been holding me in a chokehold#(I’m still reading like one shots and whatnot. but i like having a good long fic)#anyways. so I fall asleep reading the first ch last night (3am sh) and then finished it this morning#this is a 112k. I’m 8 chapters in#I stg I haven’t been this unhinged since I read a 200k a/b/o hermitcraft fic in a week#just amazing unhinged activity. I’m actually going to be destroyed when I finish this#shut up sarah#I’ve got at a generous estimate. another hour left of work to do#more like 1 1/2 but we shall see
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I think this place is genuinely the worst work environment of any place I’ve ever worked and assuming I pass the drug test tomorrow I start the new job on the 1st anyways and I think after today I’m just not going back never saying anything to them I’m so fucking done
#we literally aren’t allowed WATER unless on break and in the break room#which mind you we only get an unpaid 15 minute break which walking time taken out is really maybe 10 mins and that’s it#everyone that works there particularly managers are unbelievably demeaning and rude and don’t even do their jobs#to the point I didn’t have an actual nametag till this week when I’ve been there since April#but even beyond that#the worst customers of any job I’ve ever had#the most dog shit fucking people and I’ve only worked customer service I’ve dealt with shitty people#but I get called slurs regularly#people being fucking violent to the point there is always a cop car outside the store#I’ve worked for ableist or transphobic places before as fucked as it is I’m used to that#but they genuinely should not be in business it is disguting the way they treat employees#and most employees also don’t do their jobs either the curtesy clerks always need to be hunted down#cause they’ll sit where there’s no cameras for literal hours to avoid doing their job#but after all this bullshit especially after today#I am not going back to that shit hole and they get no warning either#I’m just not showing up anymore and they can deal with the consequences of treating others less than human#ghost rambles#also I was hired full time like a lot of others#but you’re lucky to get 35 hours more likely to get 30 and never get overtime#because you need 40 hour weeks 8 weeks straight to be considered full time and given benefits#so they do everything they can to not let anyone get benefits#there are people who have been there literal years and never once gotten 40 hours#you can’t even pick up shifts from others if you try to they won’t let you#they don’t even hide why#they will say if you’re ’too close’ to 40 hours you aren’t allowed more
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#i am so stressed rn#like i’m constantly stressed all the fucking tiem#i somehow am keeping up with everything i have to do assignment wise for school#while also simulaneoualy feeling like i’m falling behind and i can’t get everything done#like it shows in my grades that i’m on top of shit#my lowest grade is a 92.9% in my law class and that’s still a fucking A#between work and school i don’t have a lot of time for myself#i need to write but i’ve been so fucking exhausted that i cannot even process writing#i’m barely processing any fic i’m reading#or textbooks that im reading#my life since january has basically been playing uber for my mom#driving my dog to and from the sitter’s#going to work#doing school#and going to all my fucking doctors appointments that i have every month#and i don’t mind playing uber for my mom i really don’t#but i’m also not getting a lot of sleep on top of everything#like at most i’ll get 7 1/2 hours on a good day#but i’m averaging 4.5-5.5 hours a night#because i stay up until midnight doing school work and i usually have to be up by 6a to drive my mom to work#i don’t go to bed usually until 1a because i’m still fuckign wired from the day#because i haven’t been able to stop and breathe#i’m p sure i’m developing some kind of eating disorder or at least disordered eating#bc since jan ive lost 22lbs#compared to march 2023 to jan 2024 where i lost 16 pounds#and i know i’m not eating enough or im not eating routinely enough and im diabetic i can’t go long hours between eating#but i’ll got like 6-8 hours between the time i eat lunch to when i eat dinner#i have to get my big bang done by the 28th bc it posts the 29th#and i have so much shit to do for school i do not know how the fuck i’m going to make it to the end of the semester#idk life sucks and i want to cry but i don’t even have time to cry
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i forgot to say!!!!!! tho i wouldn’t be able to tell you exactly where lol i got my assigned seat for day one!!! i’m somewhere in front reserved seats so i think my death is imminent lmao
#vee queued to fill the void#wtf is ‘d block’……………………….#if i’m close enough to be perceived by seiyuu i will simply perish lol#but i also want to be close to the stage so i can see like i’m a short btch bro lol#i was trying to see where others got on the resale site or even on twitter#but they didn’t show shit on the site and on twitter everyone is like ‘????????????? where is this???????????’ LOL#so i’m glad i’m not alone in this and we all boutta show up to the venue with a surprise tailor made for each of us LOL#i’ve also been planning my day for day one and it’s crazy lol#like originally i was going to stay at my accommodation up until i need to leave for the concert#but then i decided i wanted to buy a towel in case get busy is a towel spinning song#and since they dropped naked men merch i might as well shoot my shot there too WHY??????? WHY???????#WHY DOES MERCH SALES START AT 8 IN THE MORNING???????????????????? IT TAKES OVER AN HOUR TO GET TO CHIBA FROM TOKYO#I WANT THE FOOD TOO HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO HOP BETWEEN MERCH AND FOOD LINES WHEN BIG LIVES TEND TO SELL OUT MERCH???????#AND IF I DO GET WHAT I WANT WHAT IF IM DONE AT LIKE NOON DAY ONE DOESNT START UNTIL 6PM#HELP ME TIME MANAGEMENT TIME MANAGEMENT SAVE ME
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So these reigen playlists are very good and fit the character but damn some of these wow I’m getting older I’m gonna be 30 before long and have I wasted my life. I’m no longer a like teen/young adult and I don’t know to feel about that songs are a little too real. They fit but still.
#but I mean I’ve been having this crisis since I was 8 in the car and was like wow I only have one year of birth in single digits and then it#will be double for probably the rest of my time on earth it all passes so fast and what do I have to show for it I thought at 8 years old#like I needed a fucking PhD before middle school#which is funny bc like I did want to write as many books as I could before college so that I could like have money to afford college/life#wouldn’t die penniless on the streets#bc I truly was like if I don’t have my whole life sorted out by middle school they will take me out back and shoot me like a lame horse#and here I am at 26 with no clue what I’m doing so ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
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You know what that last post just made me realize? I fucking hate Sundays
#especially now. waking up to a whole day of free time and I’m broke and alone. yippee!#also no w**d. which is horrible.#:/ i want my medicine at least damn lol.#I’m probably just gonna go get ahead of some school work since that’s all my life consists of now is school and a job I can’t fucking stand#which I actually suspect is damaging my health.#since I clock in and work 7+ hours straight w no fucking breaks on this manual labor job#I take my coffee and a breakfast bar for work in the mornings and half the time I don’t even get time to finish eating or drinking my#fucking breakfast until after my shit is over 8 hours later#I want to cry. I’m sorry I know how it sounds. I just fucking hate this life I’m living sm now and a huge part of my can’t wait for it to#be absolutely over in any way. whether it be permanently or miraculous… I kinda don’t care at this point tbh#and one other thing it’s absolutely fucking hilarious to me and by that I mean it makes my blood fucking boil#hearing privileged assholes say just go to therapy hurr durr! jus go to da doctor!#motherfucking I am the working class I do no have health insurance.#not only that but I can’t afford it! lmfao like this is the way the system was set up#for people like me to work and work and work themselves to death but no one fucking gets this bc this country & older people are braindead#and lick the corpo boot clean and say the party line just work harder just go buy therapy forehead.#thanks! I’d actually love to. I’ve actually been wanting a therapist for years now.#people love to talk over me when I try to explain my material reality. it’s just a nightmare trying to get help in a system that so clearly#just wants to suck you dry to the bone for profit use up all your labor and destroy your body and leave YOU w nothing to show for it#but of course I’m just another crazy commie kid even tho I’m 27.#but no please continue everybody to shame me for not having access to therapy.#and isn’t it funny how the onus is just always on me. Like I’m so sorry that you all have to put up w my bad behavior lmao#as if I fucking knifed someone or something. as if I don’t try to apologize when I mess up. but no one EVER ever ever ever ever gives me#any fucking credit for that. for trying my best to fix mistakes I made. whatever.#I’m just complaining what else do I even have left
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