#I’m not going to sanatize her and take parts of me out of her because you want to imagine yourself in her shoes better.

[hollyhomburg]

How very rude those party pooper are. I would fight them for you

honestly you should 🥲 i don't get paid enough to deal with people feeling so entitled to my work. like if you want to read a fanfic that is tailored exactly for you, then you should write it that fanfic! no one is stopping you.

[grailfinders]

Fate and Phantasms #180

Coming in fourth is Team Satisfaction H ∴ T ∴ E, led by Helena Blavatsky (Archer) and her Sanat Kumara Wheel! Since most of her goodies come from a generous loan via historic spirits, she’s a Lorehold Warlock for NYARF, the wheel itself, and the explosions that come with it. She also dips into Artillerist Artificer to dump some more tech into your gun and get a doll, as well as Fighter for a couple more spins on the barrel. That last bit is, admittedly, powerbuilding, but Helena made her new spirit origin with help from two of histories greatest inventive minds, so she did it first.

Check out her build breakdown below the cut, or her character sheet over here!

Next up: The final racers: Team Prefect of Public Decency and Monk Sanzang!

Race and Background

Like we said in her first appearance, Helena’s a human. But she’s also really small and smart, so we’ll make her a Rock Gnome instead. This gives her +2 Charisma and +1 Intelligence, Darkvision to dunk on dumb human eyes, Gnome Cunning for advantage on all soft stat saves against magic, Artificer’s Lore which doubles your History proficiency when figuring out how items work, and lastly you can Tinker to create small clockwork items. The Clockwork Toy is a simple Colonel Olcott, but we’ll get fancier models as we go through the build.

She’s still a Cloistered Scholar, giving her proficiency with History and Arcana.

Ability Scores

This is exactly the same as her first time around, so if you want justifications just check that one out. From top to bottom: Intelligence, Charisma, Dexterity, Constitution, Wisdom, Strength.

Class Levels

1. Warlock 1: Now for something that’s actually new. Starting off as a warlock is not new, but the School of Lorehold you get your magic from certainly is. When you join the class, you get some extra Spells to complement the ones you can already cast using your Charisma, as well as an Ancient Companion. When you finish a short or long rest, you can shove a spirit into a medium statue nearby, creating one of three Ancient Companions: the Healer, the Sage, or the Warrior. You have to use your bonus action to command it in combat, otherwise it will just dodge. You can have one companion at a time, and you can heal existing companions by channeling magic into them as an action, spending a spell slot.

Warriors get extra AC and can throw themselves between allies and danger as a reaction thanks to Warrior’s Protection, adding a d4 to an ally’s strength or dexterity saving throw.

Sages give their Sage’s Counsel to nearby allies, adding +2 to all their intelligence and wisdom checks.

Healers can grant a Healer’s Light to a creature as an action, granting it temporary HP.

There’s also some abilities they all have, but this bit’s already running long, so check the character sheet for all the details.

Here’s another bit that’ll take ages, Pact Magic! It uses your Charisma, and it recharges on short rests. You get the cantrips Eldritch Blast for your big water cannon, as well as Blade Ward for a short lived Ultraman transformation, giving you resistance to physical damage. We’ll get better stuff later.

For first level spells, grab Expeditious Retreat to speed yourself up and Witch Bolt for a little electricity Tesla snuck into the design. You also get Sacred Flame and Comprehend Languages from being a lorehold mage. You’ll need a lot more fire for your NP, but it’s a start.

Finishing off this massive first level is your proficiencies. You get Wisdom and Charisma saves, as well as Religion to tell people the glory of the Mahatmas and Intimidation to help you break up fights between a modern thunder god and a man-sized lion.

2. Artificer 1: Bouncing over to artificer gets you Magical Tinkering, so you can slap a bunch of minor effects onto tiny objects. I’m sure a fantasy tape recorder in a feather will help your studies greatly.

You also get another Spell list, this time you cast and prepare your spells with your Intelligence. Also, while you are multiclassing here, pact magic and normal magic doesn’t mix your spell slots together, so just use the spell slots listed for each class at whatever level you are.

You get two cantrips, so grab Mending to patch up your wheel on the road (they don’t actually say you can heal an Ancient Companion with mending, but it’s a statue, I’m sure it’s fine.), as well as Light to spruce up your designs a bit. I’m pretty sure we made Tesla a human before, so that’d make him the only member of the team without darkvision. I’m sure he’ll appreciate it.

As far as first level spells go, I’d make sure you pick up Longstrider. Making yourself faster is okay, but you should make your ride faster too.

3. Warlock 2: Moving back to warlock for a bit so you can get Eldritch Invocations, boons from your teammates for extra special powers. Armor of Shadows makes fighting in a bikini a slightly better idea thanks to your free casts of Mage Armor, making your AC 13 plus your dexterity modifier. You also get Agonizing Blast to up the pressure on NYARF, adding your charisma modifier to the damage of your eldritch blast.

It looks like your Sanat Kumara Wheel also comes with a bit of an automated defense system, or at least that’s the justification we’re using to justify grabbing Hellish Rebuke. Blast fire at people as a reaction if they hit you, it’s fun for the whole family!

4. Warlock 3: Third level warlocks get their pact boon. An obvious option here would be pact of the blade, but we’re already using eldritch blast for that one, so instead we’ll shore up your dolls with Pact of the Chain. Summon an imp, give it clockwork armor, there ya go.

To get your doll count up even higher, grab Flock of Familiars for some extra help, summoning up to three dolls (or two if you’ve already got one from Find Familiar). You can also blast down a door with Knock or stick a GPS chip on an item with Locate Object, both courtesy of the good people at Lorehold.

5. Warlock 4: Use your first Ability Score Improvement to become a Metamagic Adept, giving you two metamagic options and two sorcery points per long rest to use them with. I say you get two, but we’re really only here for Quickened Spell so you can cast eldritch blast as a bonus action. Since you also get a second beam per cast at level five, we just quadrupled your firepower in a single level. Not bad for a feat.

You also learn one more Edison goody attached to your wheel, Lightning Lure. Deals lightning damage, and drags enemies closer to the vehicle. It’s a shame it doesn’t last long enough to drag enemies around while you drive, but at that point I’m sure you can just use regular rope. On top of that, you learn Shatter for another kind of explosion to line your path as you run people over.

6. Artificer 2: Second level artificers can Infuse Items, up to two at a time. This adds major magical effects to existing items on your person, like Enhanced Arcane Focus making NYARF even deadlier with a +1 to its accuracy and damage, Homunculus Servant for another Olcott doll, Sending Stones to keep in touch with your pit crew, and a Bag of Holding just because it’s useful. You have to swap items between long rests, and you can only keep two in your head at any one time. I have no idea how this makes sense either, but it’s extra versatility, I guess?

7. Fighter 1: We’re dipping into fighter entirely for Action Surge, but we do get other stuff too. The Mariner fighting style gives you +1 to your armor when it’s not heavy, and you get a climbing and swimming speed to boot. You also get a Second Wind to heal yourself as a bonus action. It’s summer, make sure you take breaks so you can avoid heat syncope.

8. Fighter 2: Second level fighters get what we came for, Action Surge! Now you get a limitation free second action once per short rest, so you can shove three castings of Eldritch Blast into a single turn for six attacks. This is a little powerbuildy, but Helena did it first when she bought a gun from two genius-level inventors.

9. Artificer 3: NYARF’s getting pretty good, but if you want another kind of gun look no further than the Eldritch Cannon you get as part of being an Artillerist. This small or tiny guy takes an action to build, but afterwards, you can carry it in one hand for a sort of living gun. You can also just leave it on the ground and let it plod around. In either case, it’ll use your bonus action to command, and lasts 1 hour. It can be a Flamethrower, Force Ballista, or Protector, dealing fire damage, force damage, or temporary HP respectively.

You also get artillerist spells, like Shield and Thunderwave for more protection in an inappropriate combat outfit and more explosions for your NP.

You can always make The Right Tool for the Job over a short rest, creating a set of tools you need. They last until you make another set of tools.

10. Artificer 4: Use this ASI to bump up your Charisma for stronger and more accurate NYARF blasts.

11. Warlock 5: Fifth level warlocks get third level spells, like Tongues. You’re talking to ancient spirits from beyond our mortal ken, you’ll really want a translator, trust me. Speaking of, you also learn how to Speak with Dead and you can summon Spirit Guardians, all thanks to your Lorehold college grants. You also get an Eldritch Mind, giving you advantage on concentration saves.

In NYARF news, your Eldritch Blast deals three beams now for up to nine attacks in a single turn. This is why people don’t allow machine guns in their DND games.

12. Warlock 6: At sixth level, Lorehold Mages learn Lessons of the Past, giving you extra bonuses based on what version of the Sanat Kumara Wheel you’re riding. While you have a Healer bike, your HP maximum increases by your Warlock level, and you gain an extra 1d8 HP when you’re healed by a spell. If you’re riding a Sage, you get advantage on Arcana, History, Nature, and Religion checks, and once per turn you can add 1d8 force damage to a leveled spell. If you picked a Warrior, you can attack as part of your action if you cast a cantrip, and the attack deals an extra 1d8 radiant damage.

Finally, as an Archer class servant you gain some magic resistance thanks to Counterspell. You only have like, two third level spell slots, so don’t go too wild here.

13. Warlock 7: Seventh level warlocks get fourth level spells, like Dimension Door. Making an entrance has never been easier! Why awkwardly dismount your bike when you can teleport off instead? You can also create an Arcane Eye to keep an eye on your bike, and if it ever gets stolen you can use Stone Shape to make a new one, courtesy of Lorehold College.

Your last goody this level is the evocation Gift of the Ever-Living Ones, making your little bits of healing extra powerful. If your familiar is within 100 feet of you, any dice rolled to heal you always count as their maximum value for you. With any army of dolls grabbing drinks for you, your second winds are always pretty powerful.

14. Warlock 8: Use this ASI to become a bit more Resilient in your Dexterity saves. This bumps up your score by 1, and you get proficiency with dex saves. Somehow you can drive through a bunch of explosions and not die, so your dexterity saves have to be pretty good.

You also learn the spell Raulothim’s Psychic Lance to create a big shiny laser for your Ultraman reference.

15. Warlock 9: Ninth level warlocks get fifth level spells, like Contact Other Plane so you can finally talk to the Mahatma directly. You also get a Destructive Wave for one more explosive ride and Legend Lore. You’re a nerd, you know stuff. For your invocation, grab Repelling Blast to launch people backwards with the power of water!

16. Warlock 10: Tenth level Lorehold warlock is where things get extra spicy. Once per turn, Proficiency times per long rest, you can use your reaction to force a wisdom save against a creature you hit with an attack roll. If they fail, they become vulnerable to one damage type in that attack’s damage roll, doubling its damage until the end of its next turn. This includes the triggering attack.

This means, if you’re up against a particularly unwise opponent, there’s a pretty good chance you can double all those eldritch blast attacks, effectively attacking 18 times in a single turn. And it only gets sillier next level.

You also learn True Strike. I hope you’re aiming that thing, at least...

17. Warlock 11: Eleventh level warlocks get a Mystic Arcanum. Instead of letting you cast a sixth level spell each short rest, you get this, which limits you to casting a sixth level spell once per long rest without using a slot.

Conjure Fey lets you bring the Mahatmas back to earth with you, bringing in a Fey or Beast creature of CR 6 or lower for up to an hour. If you lose concentration though, it’ll be hostile and might attack you. Meddling with forces beyond your control isn’t a great strategy.

18. Warlock 12: Use your last ASI to bump up your Charisma for a bigger NYARF. Your watergun also makes your enemies all soggy and gross thanks to becoming a Lance of Lethargy, slowing them down once a turn. I mean you’re using eldritch blast anyways, might as well make it fancy.

19. Warlock 13: Your first and last seventh level Mystic Arcanum is going towards Crown of Stars for some long turn explosive fun. For an hour after casting,you can use a bonus action to throw small stars at enemies, dealing radiant damage on a hit.

20. Warlock 14: Your capstone level tunes you into History’s Whims, which kind of turns you into Ultraman. For up to a minute after you start it as a bonus action, you can pick one of three benefits to last until your next turn, as long as you don’t pick the same one twice in a row.

You can gain some Luck, adding a d6 to all incoming saving throws against damage for the round, Resistance for resistance to physical attacks, or Swiftness for more movement speed and no opportunity attacks.

You can transform yourself this way once per long rest, or by spending a fourth level spell slot.

Pros:

Remember how we were all “Sanson can do sooo much damage” when he got vulnerability strats, even if they were super awkward? Yeah, Helena’s Eldritch Blasts blow him out of the water, and they’re way easier to use. With twelve eldritch blasts in a single turn from Action Surge and Quickened Spell, plus vulnerability from War Echoes, Helena can pump out 2*(12d10+60) Force damage in a single turn, assuming all hit. (with an enhanced arcane focus that jumps to 2*(12d10+72)) On the low end, that’s 144 damage, which can down or seriously injure most builds. On the upper end, that’s over 360 damage, enough to take down a max constitution barbarian with the tough feat in a single turn. And the best part is, if they make their save you can just hold off on everything else for a round, you don’t have to commit unless it’ll work. It really is NYARF or nothing.

While we have made plenty of builds recently that ride around on stuff, but yours is the only one where your ride doubles as a built-in medic. With a healer Ancient Companion, your HP gets bumped up to a more reasonable amount, and it can heal you with your bonus action every turn. And if you’re fine, it can help out party members as well.

Speaking of, as an Artificer you can make plenty of gifts for your party as well, ranging from little trinkets to magical items for stronger attacks. On top of that, your bevy of familiars can be handed out to party members so you’re always within range if they need some healing.

Cons:

A lot of your stuff requires your bonus action to use; You can use your eldritch cannon for more damage without spending sorcery points, your Second Wind for healing, or your Ancient Companion to move around and provide support, but you can’t do all of those at the same time.

Since almost all of your magic is coming from your warlock levels, you don’t have many spells ready at any one time. You have three 1st level slots from Artfiicer, three 5th level slots from Warlock, and two Mystic Arcanums. Similarly, you can only really go ham with NYARF once a day. I’m not saying you can’t make a serious impact with what you’ve got, I’m just saying you’ll have to be careful with how you use it.

Without your ride you’re pretty Squishy, with slightly over 100 HP and an AC of 16. Normally that wouldn’t be that much of a problem for a mobility focused spellcaster, but destroying a boss in one round tends to draw a lot of attention. Be ready for that.

[fiesta-freddie]

I love yr blog! how would each of the beatles react to you being pregnant at a young age? thanks sooooo much! i know you’re very busy but i hope you can get around to it?

A/n: I’ve wanted to do one of these for a while now, so thank you for requesting it! I had a lot of fun with it (if you can’t tell from reading it) Feedback is always appreciated!

Paul

When you first give him the news that you’re pregnant he has a look of shock on his face

“Paul what’s the matter?”

“Wait wait now hold on just a minute.”

“Yes Paul?”

“Y/N, If we fucked twice and now your pregnant...does that mean your having twins?”

*mental face palm*

You loved this man but sometimes his level of thinking blew your mind

“No Paul, just because we fucked twice does not mean I’m having twins.”

“Oh thank God” he’d say with a sigh of relief

“But I am still pregnant so weather it’s twins or not there’s still going to be a baby.”

He nods to show he understand

But soon his nod turns into a slow head shake

And his eyes begin to water

A frown falls upon his face

Not even thirty seconds later he’s crying

Why? You don’t know

So keep reading to find out

“Paul why are you crying? You should be happy! Your finally going to be a father!”

He doesn’t think he’s good enough to be one though

“I know it’s just that- what if I can’t do it? What if I’m not capable of being a father? What if the baby doesn’t like me?”

“Paul I know for a fact the baby will absolutely love you and your going to be a great father, I know it. Sure it might be a little harder because we’re younger, but this is a learning experience for both of us.”

You sit and comfort him for a while until he calms down

Once Paul is done with his emotional breakdown he begins to come around more

He starts to talk about the baby which melts your heart because you can see a sparkle in his eyes as he does so

He really does want to be a father and he wants to help you as much as he can

You two start to talk about names

“If its a girl we’ll name her Paulina and if it’s a boy Paul Jr!”

*mental face palm once again*

“Okay...so maybe we should give a little more thought into names before deciding, but I love the enthusiasm”

He talks about your future and how he wants to make sure you have everything you’ll ever need

“-and once the boys and I make it big, I’ll buy us a brand new house in the countryside! I’ll buy anything you could possibly need! We can take vacations to the IsIe of Wight every summer!”

“Paulie, baby love, you don’t need to spend every cent you make on us. As long as I have you and the baby that’s all I’ll ever need.”

He leans in with that adorable smile of his and cups your face in his hands pressing a gentle kiss to your lips

Then he moves his head down so it’s level with your stomach as kisses it.

“Paul what are you doing?”

He looks up at you, hands still in your sides. “I’ve got to give one to the baby too.”

John

Your nervous to give John the news at first

Its because you think he’ll leave you after the baby is born

Of course you don’t want that, no one does

But you decide to tell him anyways, because its better to get it done and over with instead of waiting to do it

What else were you supposed to do? 

Wait seven months before telling him

“Oh hey John, sorry for waiting seven months before telling you, but i’m pregnant! You see how my stomach has gotten bigger? Yeah, its not because I’ve gained an excessive amount of weight, no no its because I’m carrying another human inside of me...yeah so your gonna be a father now!”

Obviously you weren't going to do that (...unless?)

You find John and sit him down to tell him the news

“John there something I need to talk to you about, it serious.”

“Sure sweetheart, what is it?”

You hesitate at first

“Well John I- I don’t really know how to tell you this, but um you see I’m uhh. Well, John I’m pregnant”

He’s silent for a moment before saying anything

“Wait i need to know something important”

“Yes, John?”

“Am I the father?”

*prolonged silence*

“Yes John your the father”

He gets a sudden burst of excitement

He picks you up and spins you around

And he starts to cry a little too

That’s right ladies and gentlemen, the unexpected has happened

John Winston Lennon is crying real tears

*cue emotional music*

“Y/N this is so exciting I’m gonna be a dad!”

It wasn't the reaction you were expecting from him, but you weren't complaining 

He promises to be a better father than his ever was

he knows how important it is to the both of you 

“I’ll look after the little guy all time! I’ll play with him and he can even share the same special star my mother gave to me! Then maybe when hes old enough I can teach him the guitar!”

It warms your heart to see that he is genuinely interested in being a father

“Your going to be a wonderful father John, I can already tell.”

George

Absolutely thrilled when you give him the news

“Y/N this is wonderful, I’m going to be a father! I’M GOING TO BE A FATHER!”

He doesn’t stop talking about it

The first thing he does is call the rest of the boys to tell them the news

He also calls his parents

And your parents

And your other close friends

He makes sure all your craving needs are met

No matter how weird they may seem

“George? You know what sounds really good right now? Tomatoes and icing!”

“Did you- Icing? Like the kind you put on a cake?”

“Yes what other kind would I be talking about?”

“And you want that with a tomato? Like as in a regular plain tomato?”

“Umm yeah?”

So because George loves you so much he makes sure that you get exactly what you want

Sometimes you even convince him to eat some of your weird craving foods too

“Come on Geo, it doesn't taste that bad. Just give it a little try”

He does

He ends up liking some of them

“Sometimes I wish I was the pregnant one so I could eat this stuff without it being weird”

“No you don’t”

Hes extra cautious with a lot of things pretty much everything

And he offers to do almost everything for you even if your capable of doing it yourself

Like with doors

He’ll hold them open and make sure you get through okay

“Hey! Everyone shes pregnant okay? Let her go through the door first and wait till shes all the way through before you go in? Got it? Good”

“Jesus George, I’m pregnant not disabled”

Its only because he loves you and wants to protect you

“But Y/N, it’s my duty to protect you and be by your side at all times...especially when the baby’s born”

You give him a small peck on the lips

“Thanks Geo”

Ringo

Okay let’s get onto Bingo

Wait....

I did this last time

Okay anyways here’s what’s up

Ringo is out here being very protective of, not just you, but the fetus inside of you too

The moment you tell him that your pregnant he baby proofs the entire house

He puts away all the things that could potentially cause harm to a new born child

Sharp objects? Hidden in cupboards (if you look hard enough you might even find Roger in there, who knows?)

Any form of glass? Stored away

Rugs and blankets? In the closets

Jewelry? In the drawer

Hotel? Trivago

I’ve made that joke so many times it’s not even funny any more

Anywhomst, back to

Richard Starkey

Pringle Stone

Richie Tozier (yeah that’s right, I did that😏)

Ringo Starr

“Ritchie, you don’t have to worry. And besides the baby isn’t even going to be here for another nine months”

“Y/N it’s always better to be safe than sorry.”

He goes full mom mode

Constantly cleaning and sanatizing everything

Washing clothes, bedsheets and towels all the time

“Ringo, honey you don’t need to go overboard on the cleaning. I appreciate it a lot, but don’t you think it’s a little much? I mean especially if the baby isn’t going to be here anytime soon”

“Y/N babies can get sick very easily”

He doesn’t want your child to end up like he did

Sick all the time

In and out of hospitals

Missing out on opportunities

“I just want the little fella to have a good childhood, ya know? Better than what I had to go through”

“Ringo, I know that the baby will have a great childhood. I mean look at us! We’re going to be great parents, I know it!”

“You think so?”

“Honey, I know so”

👏CUDDLES

👏ALL

👏THE

👏TIME

(Part of it is because blankets are being washed half the time)

When you two cuddle he always ALWAYS, wraps his arms around your stomach because he says “it’s like we’re cuddling with the baby too”

You two usually end up falling asleep like that and wake up in the morning wrapped in each other’s arms

“Good Morning Ritchie” you kiss him on the head

“Good morning, love”

He faces down towards your stomach and places a gentle kiss on it

“Good morning little one”

————

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