#I’m literally happy stimming thinking about it

[cryptid-on-a-string]

what’s the opposite of a shout-out? Like a shout-out (derogatory) to person you hate? Because I would like to give one of those to that one person I know who, upon finding out I’m transmasc, kept referring to me as a “Drag King” even after I told her thats not the same thing, and saying she “Relates” to me because she too is “Not Like Other Girls” (and she’s made it clear she’s a cis girl)

[notjustjavierpena]

OKAY HEAR ME OUT Husband Javier and the reader are fighting the whole day but trying to repress it because of their kids- After they're asleep the two are arguing again and then boom makeup sex 😋 thank you angel !!!!

Fight

Series Masterpost | Main Masterpost | Support a disabled creator

A/N: This request literally had me up all night, and now it has come to life and possibly turned into one of the most sensual pieces I’ve ever written. I’m obsessed with them. 

Summary: You feel overlooked and unappreciated. Javier says the wrong thing and hell breaks loose, but he also knows how to say sorry. 

Pairing: Javier Peña x f!reader (no y/n)

Tags: +18 Smut (mdni!), domestic life and dynamic, grownups being assholes to each other, hurt/comfort, saying sorry to each other and to your kids because I’m healing my inner child, crying, pregnancy, pregnancy sex, passionate and rough sex, MAKEUP SEX!!!, clit stim, creampie, dirty talk, praise kink, love love love, they are just crazy about each other 

Word count: 4.2k

Link to this work on AO3: https://archiveofourown.org/works/49596877

Fight

Chucho Peña is coming over tomorrow and that’s fine. 

You’ve made plans to make plans at this point though. The list of things you need to do before he arrives still gets longer every time you have a moment to think about it to yourself, teeny tiny details adding up to a day that’ll keep you busy from the moment you wake up. It would have been fine if you didn’t have to get the kids out of bed and prepared for school, and then go to work too, right on top of cleaning, shopping, cooking, and hosting — at 34 weeks pregnant.

Javier is Javier about it, reassuring you that it will be fine and that you just need to take a breath whilst he stands in the door to the garden, back towards you and smoking his morning cigarette whilst you try to tell Inés that she should have cornflakes instead of lucky charms for breakfast. 

“Oh,” Javier says after stubbing out the cigarette in the ashtray that Lucas has made for him in arts and crafts class. He turns around and rests against the doorframe, “Can we have that chocolate cake you made last time? The one with the white chocolate frosting?”

You never personally thought that you’d ever get into an argument about chocolate cake. If you’d said this to the child version of yourself, she would have laughed out loud and told you that nobody could ever be angry about anything to do with dessert. Especially not chocolate desserts. Yet here you are, letting your fatigue get the better of you.

“Sure,” you let out a loud sigh, dragging it out to really let your husband know that you are not happy about his input, “Sure, Javi, I’ll just add it to my ever-growing list of things I need to do for your father.”

You hear it as soon as it leaves your mouth but you’re too stubborn to backtrack, watching Javier go rigid in the door. He furrows his brow in confusion, and then his expression turns into a frown and eventually a scowl. He doesn’t look downright angry but not happy either. 

“What’s that supposed to mean?” He asks defensively, body language telling you that he is getting ready for another attack. He enters the kitchen like he is walking on eggshells, reaching up to pinch the bridge of his nose, “I only asked you if we could. You have every right to say no, and not be pi—“

Inés looks up at him with big brown eyes that are similar to his own. He swallows down the word, replaces it with something more child-friendly, “And not be rude about it.”

“Say no and watch you be a giant toddler about it? Great, I’ll definitely choose that,” you scoff, running on autopilot and clearing the kitchen counter whilst you argue. Out of the corner, you see Inés starting to squirm in her seat but you’re too far gone by now, “It’s not even my father, and I have to do everything for the preparation because you’re oh-so-important.”

“So we’re just never having my dad over ever again?” Javier seethes, mouth twitching in anger and threatening to put on a violent smile. He has some kind of ability to piss you even more off when he is just about to smile during arguments. 

“That’s not what I said, and that’s not the point,” you stubbornly bend down, hand on your round belly, to put your own plate into the dishwasher. Sebastian is due soon, kicking you as your pulse rises due to anger. Javier looks like he is contemplating whether to help you straighten again or not. 

“Then what is the point?”

With a hand on the edge of the kitchen counter, you manage to stand upright once more. You face Javier, finally scowling right back at him and he seems to shrink a little underneath your fury, “I’m exhausted, Javier. When do you think I have had a night to myself? I know you have a busy schedule, I do, but God—“

You drag the last word out, running a hand through your hair in frustration, “But you went out with Steve just days ago. I need to cook, clean, do the grocery shopping, take care of two kids, and - by the way - do it all with someone kicking my bladder every goddamn minute of the day. Which - by the way - is your doing.”

There is no reason to sound as venomous as you do, but you suspect that half of it is exhaustion and the other half is hormones getting the better of you and ridding you of better judgment. 

“Fine, you win,” Javier makes a display of holding his hands up in surrender but he mixes it with a roll of his eyes, and you almost go for his throat, “I’m a terrible husband.”

“Oh, you did not ju—“ You raise your voice.

Suddenly, you hear sniffling beside you. It pulls you right out of your head and makes you observe your surroundings, and with the way that Javier flinches, it seems to be doing the same to him. 

Inés' little voice breaks your heart, the sight of her even more so when you see she has covered her ears with her hands, “Mamá. Why are you yelling at Papá? Don’t you like each other anymore?”

Javier sends you a look that makes your stomach drop, something that tells you that you are not done here. He looks absolutely furious with you, especially after seeing his daughter cry.

But then he sucks in a deep breath and crosses the room to crouch down beside Inés. He rubs her back soothingly, “Nos gustamos mucho, mija.”

Your legs have made you join them before your brain can even get the idea. Ever so gently, you run your hand over Inés' hair, “I’m so sorry, baby. We won’t shout anymore. Sometimes we get bad feelings. Remember when we talked about those?”

Javier looks at you with his mouth still a thin line and you glare back at him without Inés seeing. He straightens to get a piece of paper towel, first dabbing his daughter’s eyes and then blowing her nose afterward. 

Lucas Peña peeks into the kitchen from the hallway. He looks like someone who has just woken up, hair sticking out in the same way that his father’s sometimes does, but it’s accompanied by a concerned expression on his face as he watches the scene in the kitchen, “Why were you fighting?”

“We weren’t fighting,” you reassure and hold out your arm. Lucas goes to press into your side, and you respond to his affection by resting a hand on his head, “Okay?”

“Okay,” Lucas replies but he doesn’t sound convinced. 

From the outside, it probably looks like the perfect family portrait but you can feel Javier is fuming underneath the surface. He leaves Inés’ side to throw the snotty paper towel out, his shoulders still tense.

“Lucas, can you take your sister into the bathroom and brush your teeth?” You say as neutrally as you can muster, faking a smile down at him as he looks up at you, “I’ll be right there.”

“What about breakfast?” He asks.

“I’ll make you a sandwich for the bus ride. Whatever you want, but we’re already late,” you tell him, and it seems to work as he takes Inés’ hand in his own and leads her out of the room.

When Javier and you are alone again, an uncomfortable silence settles between the two of you. Javier stands against the counter, palms flat on its surface and you can hear the sound of the clock in the background, ticking by as the silence stretches. 

You are just about to apologize when Javier turns around. His eyes are wild with fury, not at all as submissive as just moments earlier when you had been the angry one. He points at you, mustache twitching with disgust that you are sure must be directed at himself too, because he says, “Never in front of the kids. I don’t care how angry you are. We don’t do that.”

You can feel your bottom lip tremble. 

Javier leaves the kitchen instead of comforting you. 

You force a smile, trying your hardest to sound cheerful while tears spill down your cheeks, “Lucas, what do you want on your sandwich?” 

*

The rest of the day goes by without any resolve, and it feels like there’s a brick lying heavy on your chest and making you on the verge of tears all day. Despite this, you manage to get everything on today’s list done before dinner and yes, you buy the ingredients for the stupid chocolate cake, making an effort to ‘casually’ leave the recipe on the counter for Javier to see. It results in him emptying and refilling the dishwasher without a word. 

During your bedtime routine, Lucas looks worried. He tugs at your hand when you are just about to leave and you can see the cogs turn in his head as he strings together a sentence, “Mom… It’s okay if you and Dad were angry at each other. I just don’t like it when you cry and… and I want you to say sorry. That’s what you make me do when I get angry at you or Dad. Or Inés.”

Your heart hurts from the love that’s barely able to be contained inside of it. With every single muscle in your body being strained, you manage to bend down to hug his head close to your chest, “Mijo.”

“No, don’t be sad,” he says quickly, hugging you back. 

“I’m not, baby. These are good tears because I love you so much,” you kiss his head, “I’m so proud of being your mom, baby. You know this, right?”

Lucas pulls back and you quickly wipe your tears away. He studies your face for a second, “Y-yes, I love you too, Mom, but you need to say sorry to Dad.”

You nod, struggle a little as you try to get up and say your final goodnight. On the way out, you desperately brush more tears out of your face because looking at the photos in the hallway makes them well up in your eyes once more. 

Javier is tying the strings of his pajama pants as you enter your shared bedroom. He doesn’t acknowledge you when you strip yourself naked except for your underwear, and not even when you pull a tank top over your head that’s barely covering your pregnant belly anymore. You’re unsure of what to say to get a reaction from him. The silence screams. 

“I’m sorry,” you eventually settle for. 

Javier turns to you then. His eyes rest on you for a moment before he speaks, “I’m sorry too. I get it… wanting time to yourself. I just didn’t know that was what you needed.”

He is hugging you soon after, strong arms around your exhausted frame. Your round stomach bumps against his flat one, and he lets go with one arm in favor of resting a hand where Sebastian usually kicks during the evening hours. It’s thankfully quiet right now, as if he senses that you need it.

“I wish you could just see how much invisible work I put into this house,” you say softly into his shoulder, “I feel so underappreciated and overwhelmed sometimes.”

“And I wish you would tell me how you’re feeling instead of treating me like a damn mind reader,” he sighs deeply, and you respond by getting defensive again. You’re just about to pull away with an annoyed groan. 

“No, no, c’mere,” he tugs you back into his arms and you let him because you’re feeling generous. His hands cradle your face, “I don’t wanna fight. Please. I hate fighting with you. I’m sorry.” 

“You make me so furious,” you whine as he bumps your nose with his own, feeling tears prickle at the corner of your eyes and one sliding down to drip from your chin. Javier tuts, catches it with his thumb.

“I’m sorry, baby,” his mouth curls downward as he says it, puppy dog eyes on their highest setting, “I know how much you do. I do. I’m just— you know how I am. Don’t cry. I didn’t mean it like that.”

Javier embraces you once more as you blink tears away, dragging in a deep breath. The air in the bedroom smells like him, comforting and safe, and it makes it hard to keep concentrating on your fight and easier to fall into him. 

“I love you,” you mumble into his shoulder, and holy fuck, you do - every single day, hour, minute and second. He is your best friend, your husband, the face of your children, and most importantly, you know that he does his best for you.

It seems that those three words are exactly what he wants to hear because you feel his hands curl around the hem of your tank top. You don’t protest, relishing in the gentle touch of his fingertips against your back as he pulls the piece of clothing up and over your head. 

Your shoulders come down to relax from having been tensed up. You haven’t even noticed how much energy you have been using on straining your muscles, but now that you are calming again, you can feel how upset you’ve actually been throughout the day. 

“I love you too,” he promises. Your heart drums in your chest. The way he says it makes arousal burn below your belly button, a gentle tingling, and swirling sensation pleasantly taking over your whole pelvic floor. 

You look down between the two of you to see that Javier is already half-hard in his pajama pants, words seemingly having had the very same effect on him too. You start untying the strings of his pants slowly until you can tug them down over his hips, and he mirrors you to remove your underwear. 

Both of your bottoms pool around your feet, and when you have both stepped out of them, Javier pulls you close by your elbows. He catches your mouth in a desperate kiss, and you melt into him in a way that an apology could never make him feel. 

He pushes you back towards the bed whilst never breaking the searing kiss. Your hair is a mess in his hands, heartbeat speeding up as everything moves so fast from then on out; he helps you down onto the bed like the gentleman he is, manhandles you onto your side like the man you were swept off your feet by years ago and finally presses his front up against your back.  

“I want you,” you say in unison, and it makes you giggle at how in sync you are with each other despite having spent the day fighting over something already long forgotten. Especially when his arm scoops underneath you to cage you against his chest, hand tightening around your shoulder to hold you in place. 

Javier leans over you slightly to kiss the giggles away, bends your knees a little with his free hand so he can let it wander over you. He touches you up along your thigh as you place a pillow under your pregnant belly, takes his time holding you tightly, “Get hotter and hotter every day, mi amor.”

You press your ass back into his crotch, cunt throbbing with impatience as you hear the tiny groan that he lets out. He is so hard against the roundness of your behind, cocktip leaking steadily against your warm skin when he grinds right back into you. 

“Put it in,” you plead softly. Your hands come up to grip his forearm that is secured just above your tits, “Javi, please. I need it so bad.”

He is silent behind you as he works. The anticipation is unbearable when it is mixed with the unnerving need to have an outlet for all the intense emotions that you have just been through, your pussy quivering in desperation to be deliciously stretched out to transform your feelings into something physical. 

Suddenly, you feel the thick head of his cock between your thighs and you ready yourself for intrusion. Luckily, he doesn’t make you wait, guides himself into you in a slow motion until he is fully sheathed inside you. 

“Fuck,” you whine as quietly as you can, nails digging his arm from how hard you are gripping it.

“I know, ahh fuck, shhh,” he soothes but the way his voice sounds makes you believe that he is just as close to losing his mind, “Be quiet, baby. Just let me make you feel fucking amazing. Need a pillow between your knees too?”

You nod, and he is right there with his own pillow to help you get even more comfortable in bed with him. God, why were you even fighting? Something about cake? Either way, it seems beyond ridiculous. 

His nose is in your neck, his hand travels up to cup your breast and then he moves his body for a very first thrust inside of you. It makes your eyes nearly roll back into your skull when he keeps the pace lazy and deep, barely pulling out with each roll of his hips. 

“You feel so good,” he praises whilst mouthing along the most sensitive spot on your neck, “Makes me never wanna leave. Wanna live here.”

“Inside me?” You chuckle breathlessly. 

“Forever,” he gives you a slightly harder thrust, the first where the noise of his skin slapping against yours resonates through the bedroom. You moan in surprise, and he hushes you once more, “Don’t let them wake up and think momma is in pain.”

“Definitely not in pain.”

Javier lets out the quietest laugh. It’s almost unfair how good he is at keeping it down compared to you, but you don’t think you’ll mind having his big palm cover your mouth if you end up causing trouble. It almost happens when he pinches an overly sensitive nipple, making it harden immediately under his touch. 

“Help me spread my legs a little more,” you beg at a low decibel. 

The hand on your tit gropes obscenely and shakes for a moment before it slips down and caresses your belly on the way. Still lying on your side, he smacks the fleshiest part of where your ass and thigh meet before he cups the back of your knee so he can lift.

The move gives you the access you need to rub your cunt, two fingers going in taut little circles around the swollen nub. You rock with him too, and it goes on until you come with your back arched, releasing a short and hot breath that you didn’t notice you had been holding until it turns into a loud and accidental moan. 

“That’s my girl,” he moans too as you clench rhythmically and choke his dick when you release the built-up tension. When your orgasm reaches its peak, Javier’s hand on your shoulder moves to cover your mouth at the fear of you making enough noise to have the door burst open with unwelcome visitors, “I know it’s hard, mi vida, but - shit - but be quiet.”

You take the opportunity to let out a drawn-out and helpless cry into his hand as the sweet pleasure goes on for a few moments more. Then you slump, and he gently moves your leg down again to put less strain on your body. 

“My God,” he talks into your ear, thrusts never slowing down and you swear that you can feel his cock jump with every weak noise you make, “I love you so much. Love your little cunt too, she takes me so well.”

Javier’s hand comes down to grip the extra pounds on your hips. He tugs at the flesh almost painfully, but your exhaustion and dopamine overload are making you too delirious to notice that it’s to the point of bruising. He holds tight and uses the grasp that he has on you to pull you down onto his cock over and over. 

It takes no time to make a second orgasm stir in the pits of your stomach. Your moans change once more as your body starts responding to him fucking you so hard. 

“You think you can come again?” He rasps into your ear, and when the head of his cock slides teasingly over your favorite little spot inside of yourself, you nod frantically and it feels like you are about to cry actual tears. Fuck yes, you can come as many times as he wants. 

“Mhm, won’t take long,” you whimper and use all your willpower to lift your leg over your husband’s thigh until you are spread widely. Your belly is still comfortably supported in the new position, but now that your front is stretched taut and fully exposed like a well-trained and submissive animal, it enhances the feeling of Javier gliding over your g-spot repeatedly.

Javier removes the arm that he has caged you in with, but whereas it gives you a moment to heave a breath of air into the very bottom of your lungs, he quickly takes it away from you as he reaches up with his other hand to grab your throat. He doesn’t squeeze like he normally would when you are not pregnant, but the anticipation of him doing it makes your head swim. 

And then he is absolutely brutal in his thrusts, and before you know it, you are coming with your clit untouched and a strangled sob. The convulsions are so intense that your thighs shake, your toes curl and your eyes screw shut. 

You reach up to put your hand on the back of Javier’s head, holding on tightly as he pounds into you from behind throughout your orgasm. The way he pants tells you that he is close, and when you yank the tiny curls at the nape of his neck, he starts to chase his release. 

“Javi,” you whisper loudly as he slams into your sensitive cunt, “Give it to me. Pleasepleaseplease. Need you to fill me up.”

“Fu— oh shit,” Javier swears in a low, rough growl as he snaps his hips a few last times before stilling inside of you. He feels impossibly big inside your cunt as he pumps you full of his come, cockhead resting at your cervix and coating you in warmth. 

“Jesus, we’re terrible at being quiet,” you whisper as he pants. You let your leg come down onto the other once again, a giggle suddenly building up in your chest. He starts laughing whilst still inside of you, hugging you tightly into his chest and nuzzling his nose into your cheek.

“They sleep through it, don’t gotta worry about it much anymore, I think,” he notes without care, kissing your cheek repeatedly despite still not having calmed his breath. You smile widely as you stare at the ceiling, overtaken by the love you feel for him every time he gets you to post-orgasmic bliss. 

“We need a date night soon though, Jesus. Perhaps Pop could take the kids home with him tomorrow after dinner and I could… do this again,” he smacks your ass playfully, then strokes your hip in soothing circles, and you almost purr like a cat at the gentle move, “Without a mute button on my pretty wife’s mouth, of course.”

“I’d like that,” you say with a soft and sweet sigh, acknowledging his attempt to make things from earlier up to you, “Been a while since you’ve made me scream. Wanna take our time.” 

Javier reaches down between you to pull out before he is completely soft. You hiss at being left empty when you are so spent, but Javier quickly distracts you with another string of kisses to your cheek and the corner of your mouth. He adds to the fantasy, “And then I’ll draw you a bath and you can spend as much time alone as you want. Don’t gotta be no one to anyone.” 

He moves on the bed as far as his arm that’s trapped beneath you allows him, going for the packet of wet wipes you keep on the nightstand. He had suggested them when it had become too hard during your third trimester for you to get out of bed after sex. He hands you a few and you hold them over your mound, enjoying the coolness of them.

“You know the way to my heart,” you say, wiggling a little and feeling his come seep out. It makes your nose crinkle.

“Well, I did convince you to marry me,” he replies. 

“Worst decision I’ve ever made,” you tease. Javier wraps his other arm around you, hand splayed on your belly. 

The position you are in is uncomfortable; Javier’s arm underneath you has got to be asleep by now and you feel damp with sweat due to him being like a furnace against your back.

Still, you both drift off slowly into the soundest sleep. You don’t wake up until two unexpected visitors barge in at the most ungodly hours of the morning, causing you to scramble for the blanket to cover your bodies up and hide the come-stained wet wipes in the nightstand drawer.

.

.

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[quinn-pop]

let’s do some autistic meta knight headcanons!! over explaining my interpretation of meta knight yet again wooooo

this orb has NO idea how to talk to people!!! outside of work anyway. a lot of this is partially due to upbringing (suppressing his emotions all the time) but he does not know how to express emotions, like…at all.

this goes into a few things

1. yeah talking is hard. even after figuring out what he wants to communicate he will struggle. conversation can be so overwhelming, especially under pressure. he will need time lol

2. because of that, forming connections is hard. i really don’t think meta is much for shallow relationships, and certainly not early in the timeline. which also means he has very little experience with friendship. so a lot of the relationships he did have went kinda neglected, and issues that probably could’ve been worked on by talking became…*cough romk* escalated.

3. honestly i wouldn’t be surprised if meta convinced himself he couldn’t feel emotion (anymore) until like. katam-ish. he tried very hard lol

vulnerability is terrifying. (though this gesture here is also just comforting, like his little cape cocoon thing he does.)

unmasking—yeah im taking the mask thing very literally here—is a big deal and a very slow process for mk. i’m sure he has a lot of feelings on that lol. it served as a way to ensure no one could ever, y’know, see him.

i can’t say i think he’d ever fully ditch it—there’s always gonna be some days that are more stressful than others and if having it could help him get through it, it just makes sense. mainly when working.

it really is about vulnerability. granted, i don’t think he has the most expressive face (in my head every astral just tends to stare at things) but i doubt he has much control over it. can’t fake a smile but also can’t hide it. probably blushes easy because yeah, astrals; just look at kirby’s face.

just the idea that someone might be able to read his expression and know what he’s feeling before he’s ready for them to (or even understands it himself…) yeah he doesn’t want that

but emotional turmoil aside, i think his mask also hides a lot of his stims

remember that whole “suppressing your feelings” thing? yeah turns out that ignoring half your instincts isn’t a good idea. so in true meta knight style, he tries to stim as subtly as possible

1. he has the least control over his wings, so they will flick and twitch on their own. they’re usually a good indicator of how he’s feeling, not unlike the body language usually seen in cat ears and tails lol. flapping is also an extension of this of course, though he probably suppresses it more.

2. this also effects when he takes his wings out. pretty much every time he’s excited or nervous it just happens. kinda makes me wonder if his wing cape ordeal might also go into the suppression thing… (i’d say yes, but using a cape is also very comforting so it’s not necessarily a bad thing)

3. going back to the mask thing; he stims a lot underneath it. think like biting or pursing your lips. he bites his tongue and clicks his mouth. that sort of thing. his mask also makes it harder to notice that he is constantly sighing, humming, grumbling…all that

one nice thing about the mask though is that it helps a little bit with lights!!! woo

(look at him and his magically floating glasses)

sensory stuff—i think he’s mostly bothered by light and sound. maybe a bit of texture. he’s pretty sensory avoidant and perfectly happy standing off to the side not touching anything.

the one exception to this is physical affection, which is, despite all of this, most of how he shows affection. it’s a lot easier to hug someone than to try to explain your feelings for them, after all.

i think he would like pressure though. so that’s probably part of it. and i’m pretty sure there’s some connection in here to fighting (dang, is that the only way he knows how to get his energy out?)

anyway, pretty much all of this is in contrast to kirby, who i would gladly nominate as the champion of Doing Whatever He Wants. he might pick up a few bad habits, but he will never mask the way meta knight does. he might not understand how he feels, but he’s in tune enough to express it…usually.

this is a very good thing for meta because it helps him to do the same thing. kirby’s so energetic, it’s hard to not want to stim with him. it reminds meta to be kinder to himself and explore his own emotions. he can also help kirby understand themselves, so this connection is very important.

yeah, at the end of the day, everything kinda just boils down to kirby and mk as parallels

this is the conclusion i promise

to me, meta’s arc is about growing stronger by growing kinder, and this is mostly by learning to be kind to himself. letting himself be a person again, loving and understanding other people, and eventually, letting go of all the expectations placed on him and doing the things he’s always wanted to do…

autism headcanons are fun for me because it’s cathartic to write, but at the same time, it just makes sense in this sort of narrative. meta is, to me, inseparable from these things. and so is kirby! that’s a dynamic that’s a lot of fun to play with, and it’s at the heart of my kirby interpretation.

if you actually read all this WOW thank you

[oinkinpigprince]

hey . reader who stims (like hand flapping and vocal stims) a lot and finds physical touch very stimulating and sensory x Charlie dompler perhaps. just a thought

I vocal stim a lot too silly, that’s how I fight paranoid thoughts :33 it’s funny, belting show tunes in the middle of the night, my logic is is that they can’t get me if I’m literally YN

Also, I imagined you putting your hand on my shoulder and just going “hey, reader who stims(…) just a thought” that’s silly

Charlie x stimming reader

Has no idea what you’re doing at first when you flap your hands or echo noises, but kinda just accepts it. Listen he’s the most go w/ the flow type of guy you’ve ever met

Says things to try and trigger vocal stims, thinks it’s a little funny. He’ll meow and you meow back and just look at him like 👁️_👁️

Without realizing it he starts vocal stimming too, absent mindlessly. He just has to pause, and think about it. You’ve infected him

If you do sing as a vocal he likes to listen, doesn’t matter if you’re good or not he still enjoys it. Thinks it’s funny if you forget the lyrics.

He doesn’t mind the physically touch aspect of it, happy to hold your hand or tap on your arm. He personally really likes tapping your hand when you two are sitting together.

At home he doesn’t mind being very affectionate but in public he tends to keep it down so he’ll just hold your hand maybe a peck if he’s feeling affectionate.

Honestly not much can embarrassed him so he doesn’t mind if you do it in public, his eyes tend to flicker toward you but that that’s just towards any movement.

Asks questions like why you do it, and is very interested in it. Everyone stims but it just looks different for other people

[solacebloom]

Steven Grant x Autistic!Reader

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Just some drabbles of what being friends/partners with Steven Grant would look like with an autistic reader since, I myself, am autistic. Autism is a spectrum so I tried to make it inclusive but some of the traits are obviously going to be more geared towards my experience since that's what I'm writing from. Also gender neutral!reader

✩₊˚.⋆☾⋆⁺✩₊˚.⋆☾⋆⁺✩₊˚.⋆☾⋆⁺✩₊˚.⋆☾⋆⁺✩₊˚.⋆☾⋆⁺✩₊˚.⋆☾⋆⁺✩₊˚.⋆☾⋆⁺✩₊˚.⋆☾⋆⁺

TW: talking about stimming, autistic meltdowns, cpstd, insomnia, DID

Steven Grant

Steven Grant has a lot of autistic traits, so I’ll be treating him like he is.

Rigid routines, hyperfixations (Egyptology), always calling his Mom every morning, being visibly upset when his routine is changed, etc

CPSTD can exacerbate autism traits so whether or not Marc and Jake have autism in particular I’m not going to get into right this moment BUT

man has insomnia among other things he gets it he understands you better than most.

If you were cohabitating the both of you would have your safe spaces in the flat

On top of that the entire place would be sensory friendly, your little retreat

Overhead light never gets turned on when it’s with you two, Steven keeps the curtains open for some natural light

incense from his involuntary travels would be stockpiled

He definitely has some sort of trinket or keepsake that makes white noise of some kind

Might be a water feature or windchimes hung up by the window- Gus’ tank also emits some white noise from the filter and water pump

The flat will always have some sort of noise to drown out the busy streets outside

When the noises are overstimulating to the both of you though he’s got noise canceling headphones and earbuds- he misplaces them a lot so there’s always extra to go around

Though eventually he gets you your own pair for around the flat

If you use a cane or any sort of walker he invests in making sure you have a spot to put it while you’re around the flat and that there’s actually space for you to walk around with it if needed

While he loves his collections of books, if you can’t traverse the flat with all that stuff on the floor he’s going to find another spot for them. Shoved into a closet somewhere- a storage unit, whatever he can do to keep his books and you

You both definitely stay in a lot more than you do go out

The street just outside the flat is busy but in the quieter hours the two of you go on short walks under the moonlight

If you’re novelty seeking though Steven’s not going to be the best at helping but will do his best to tag along with you if it’s outside of the house. 

Sometimes he’s right there with you ready to go out and other times he’s just wanting to stay home, you don’t always match energies 

Novelty seeking at home though? Completely different story. He’s always happy to dive into a new topic with you, whether it’s related to his own hyperfixation or one of your own

Insomnia and DID affect his memory so even if he has come to terms with Marc he’s still going to be writing things down, taking notes on the subject you two are diving into

When you need to stim Steven has a TON of trinkets and stim toys around the flat if not already in his pockets

The only thing he wouldn’t share with you is his rubik cube, if that’s not already in his hands while the two of you are talking it’s in his pocket or misplaced on a shelf it’s definitely his most well loved stimming item and he has to fix it, often

Puzzles also! From old crosswords to literal picture puzzles he’s down to do them all with you and will probably be absentmindedly doing one while you info dump

He has a rocking chair somewhere in the flat that’s incredibly comfy and well loved for some full body stimming

I don’t think Steven would have a sensory swing and if he does he was to embarrassed to set up for himself

Like Steven doesn’t hate himself for being autistic

He never learned to mask but there’s still lingering anxieties, they just aren’t focused around his autism, more on his DID and just general trauma 

If you or any or the other alters found the swing though there would be some questions and a lot of hesitance and excuses on Steven’s end

Well you bet that swing is getting set up now

Even if Steven doesn’t end up using it as much he’s glad that it’s there if you or him need it at some point 

You both do parallel play/being alone together- you’ll focus on your task and he’ll do his while you both are in the same room

Whilst some tasks give Steven the ick he can’t offload all the chores to his alters 

So when the dishwasher needs to be opened or dishes cleaned in the sink he has a whole process to try and make it easier on himself

He wouldn’t be good at helping you out with these tasks either but his presence is appreciated 

If eating noises are triggering Steven will either fetch the noise canceling headphones or go eat out on the porch or off in another room

Safe foods! He has them written down if he doesn’t already remember them

The flat is stocked with both his and your safe foods

If you’re out of the house he keeps a backpack on him that would have snacks and trinkets

I don’t think Steven goes nonverbal often mostly because I think that version for him is probably just retreating back and forcing the other alters out so that at least someone is talking in whatever situation is happening

I think if it does happen in a safe space with you though he’s most likely writing down his thoughts to you over his notebook

When you go nonverbal he gets a little panicky, because he knows how he feels when that comes up so he’s much more fretful over that

He starts asking you a bunch of yes or no questions to things you may need which isn’t always entirely helpful as it can be a bit overwhelming

But after his anxieties are quelled he’s much more able to help out in whatever you need

Whatever communication device or tool you use he’s more than willing to accommodate and carries around cards in the backpack as well

When you have a meltdown for the first time in front of him he definitely isn’t entirely sure of himself, he doesn’t know exactly what you need so it takes some trial and error 

After the meltdown though he asks what you’d like to have happen when another one occurs

Whether you need physical touch or instead a weighted blanket or touch sensation at all he’s ready to help

Whatever entertainment medium you like he’ll put on/grab to keep your mind distracted and calmed

If it’s in public he will probably let another alter handle it since that’s overwhelming for him too though I think he feels guilty about it despite it just being a defense mechanism on his end. 

He wants to help you and himself, but part of that is accepting where he’s at and sometimes trying to push yourself is the opposite of what’s needed

[lottiette]

Billy Thunderman Relationship/General Head Cannons

Authors note: Hi! This is my first post. I’ve never done headcannons before, so I’m sorry if this is bad. I am taking requests. I will do my best to answer them. Please do not steal content.

- He fiddles with your fingers when nervous or just as a stim

- He gets self conscious about his “slowness”(dumb) so sometimes he needs reassurance

- He would go anywhere to get you anything you want

- He’s a golden retriever boy

- He’s a simp. He’s just happy to be there with you and that you love him

- He really likes hips/hip dips/love handles. He doesn’t care what his partner looks like (but I think he likes chubbier girls) but he loves all body types

- He takes almost everything literally so you have to be patient and ready to explain

- I think he would like to give you piggy back rides and go fast with you. Doesn’t matter how much you weigh he’ll find a way

- He always makes sure you’re comfortable with everything./in a situation. If you’re not he’ll find a way to get you out of there as quick as possible

- You have to help with studies and school and it actually kinda helps bring his grades up(just a little) cause he’s thinking about you and that makes him like remember the moment you were teaching something

- Speaking of, when you’re studying he’ll get bored and start teasing you. He’ll kiss your neck and whisper in your ear. Maybe throw you onto his bed, or pull you into his lap.

- Barb and Hank like you because let’s be honest they worry about him because he’s “dumb” so they’re happy there’s someone to take care of him.

- You and Nora have to be friends, because family means a lot to him and Nora is his best friend, but don’t worry she loves you. You guys do manicures and pedicures and all that jazz together

- He likes when you scratch his head/ laying his head in your lap

- He likes to cuddle with his arms around your waist and his legs tangled in yours.

- He really likes kitties and puppies so one of your dates might consist of just hanging out with furry friends.

- He just loves animals in general.

- I know he’s “dumb” but I feel like he’s really good at coding and like video game glitches and loopholes

- He doesn’t care what y’all do or where you go for dates he’s just happy to be with you.

- He hypes up everything you do no matter what

- I feel like he probably gets bullied for being slow so he appreciates it when you stand up for him(even if he doesn’t realize he’s being bullied)

- He’d definitely stand up for you if you were ever bullied. Like no questions asked.

- He’d also probably do anything you asked him to do.(with in reason)

- I feel like he probably flusters you a lot without even realizing it.

Thats all I have for now if I think of more I will add or make another post. Please requests anything you’d like and I’ll do my best to make it happen but I will be posting my rules and guidelines for requests. If you have any questions, suggestions, or advice please let me know. Bye! 😘

[queeresthellhound]

I genuinely do not think a lot of people understand how much of an impact my husband not just offering but genuinely *wanting* and *Being Excited* about learning ASL has on me.

Let me explain:

I am semi-verbal. I have always been semi-verbal. I will always be semi-verbal. Speaking is unbelievably hard for me. I CAN speak but I do not enjoy speaking, I do not feel like I can express myself fully when I speak. I’m a polyglot, I love learning languages but I hate speaking. If I could I would sit in silence my entire life and I would be so so so happy.

When I was a child I learned ASL before I learned to speak because my parents thought I wasn’t ever going to talk. And learning ASL and signing was The Most Empowering thing for me.

ASL is the only language where I feel like I can express myself freely, where it’s completely effortless. And it feels like constantly stimming while I communicate which is the most amazing feeling in the world to me. ASL is genuinely joyous to me. It feels amazing and beautiful and *easy*. I never realized how *easy* it is for most people until I found other people who sign and I could actually say what I was thinking without having to figure out a puzzle for every single word.

No one in my life has ever wanted to learn ASL because it’s comfortable for me. The second people find out I can speak, no matter how difficult it is for me, they want me to speak. But my husband *offered* to learn My Native Language so that he could talk to me in the way that’s most comfortable for me. I’m tearing up at the thought of it. There will never be an act of love as beautiful to me as that. Never.

My love language is literally ASL. And it’s a tragedy more people don’t bother trying to learn it but it is the most beautiful thing in the world for someone I love with all my heart to be beyond excited to learn it. And of course he wants to learn it for other reasons but damn… learning a language so I can live a more free, beautiful, joyous life.

“I can’t help it, I love the way men love”

[hermitmoss]

autistic gansey: the raven boys

literal thinking

All of the sources said that church watchers had to possess “the second sight” and Gansey barely possessed first sight before he put his contacts in.

It took Gansey a moment to realize that Ronan had made a joke, and by then, it was too late to laugh.

Gansey, misunderstanding, immediately asked her, “Why would you have to leave?”

“Coincidence?” Ronan asked. “I think not.”  It was meant to be sarcastic. Gansey had said I don’t believe in coincidences so often that he no longer needed to.

He said, “I don’t think that minor children are required to get gifts for their parents. I’m a dependent. That’s the definition of dependent, is it not?”

Several exasperated faces turned on Gansey. Maura said, “Well, he’s not going to just go away because you don’t want to deal with him.” “I didn’t say it was possible,” Gansey replied, not looking up from his splint. “I just said that it was what I would like.”

"His name wasn’t really Butternut, was it?" Gansey asked Adam in a low voice.

food sensitivities

Gansey said, “Tell me there’s no sauce on this burger.”  Dropping the strap from his teeth, Ronan scoffed. “Please.”  “No pickle, either,” Adam said

stimming

The area around him smelled strongly of mint from the leaf he chewed absently. 

He ran his thumb back and forth across his bottom lip, a habit he never seemed to notice and Adam never bothered to point out.

Gansey was crumpled on his bed, earbuds in, eyes closed. Even with the hearing gone in his left ear, Adam could hear the tinny sound of the music, whatever Gansey had played in order to keep himself company, to lure himself to sleep.

special interest

Gansey couldn’t resist talking about Glendower. He never could.

But Gansey never minded retelling the story. He’d related the events like they’d just happened, thrilled again

he was wondering if it was more than the ordinary curiosity people possessed when faced with Gansey and his obsessive accessories. He knew Gansey would find him overly suspicious, unnecessarily proprietary of a search Gansey was more than willing to share with most people.

“We talking about Gansey the third and his New Age obsession?” the secretary asked.

what he found was that Richard Gansey III was more obsessed with the ley line than he had ever been. Something about the entire research process seemed … frantic.  What is wrong with this kid? Whelk wondered

It was suddenly difficult not to be excited by the idea of explaining it all to her.

The easy way that he began the story, at once striding through grass and eyeing the EMF reader, let Blue know that he had told it many times before.

“If you’d just asked,” Gansey said, “I would’ve told you everything in there. I would’ve been happy to. It wasn’t a secret.”

masking and mirroring accents

Adam remembered finding him intimidating when he first met him. There were two Ganseys: the one who lived inside his skin, and the one Gansey put on in the morning when he slid his wallet into the back pocket of his chinos.  The former was troubled and passionate, with no discernible accent to Adam’s ears, and the latter bristled with latent power as he greeted people with the slippery, handsome accent of old Virginia money.

It was a default answer, she saw; he fell back onto his powerful politeness when he was taken by surprise. Also, he was still watching Adam, taking his cues from him as to how he should react to her. Adam nodded, once, briefly, and the mask slipped just a little more. Blue wondered if the President Cell Phone demeanor ever vanished completely when he was around his friends. Maybe the Gansey she’d seen in the churchyard was what lay beneath.

A few minutes later, when Gansey climbed into the front seat beside the pilot, she saw that he was grinning, effusive and earnest, incredibly excited to be going wherever they were going. It was nothing like his previous, polished demeanor.

There was something about the timbre of his voice that surprised Blue. It wasn’t until he spoke again she realized he was using the tone she’d heard him use with Adam.

This Gansey, this story-telling Gansey, was a different person altogether from any of the other versions of him she’d encountered. She couldn’t not listen. 

Gansey had always felt as if there were two of him: the Gansey who was in control, able to handle any situation, able to talk to anyone, and then, the other, more fragile Gansey, strung out and unsure, embarrassingly earnest, driven by naive longing. That second Gansey loomed inside him now, more than ever, and he didn’t like it.

some days Gansey wished that he could be him, because Adam was so very real and true in a way that Gansey couldn’t ever seem to be.

Gansey was first into the room, and he clearly hadn’t expected to find anyone there, because his features hadn’t been arranged at all to disguise his misery. When he saw Blue, he immediately managed to pull a cordial smile from somewhere. And it was so very convincing. She had seen his face just a second before, but even having seen his expression, it was hard to remind herself that the smile was false. Why a boy with a life as untroubled as Gansey’s would have needed to learn how to build such a swift and convincing false front of happiness was beyond her.

not understood/accidentally offensive/words coming out wrong

The Aglionby boy appeared puzzled for a long moment, and then realization dawned. “Oh, that was not how I meant it. That is not what I said.”

To his credit, the Aglionby boy didn’t speak right away. Instead, he thought for a moment and then he said, without heat, “You said you were working for living. I thought it’d be rude to not take that into account. I’m sorry you’re insulted. I see where you’re coming from, but I feel it’s a little unfair that you’re not doing the same for me.”

He hadn’t meant to be offensive but, in retrospect, it was possible he had been. This was going to eat at him all evening. He vowed, as he had a hundred times before, to consider his words better.

He’d managed to offend again, with no effort at all.

After a moment, he said, "Sometimes I’m afraid he’ll never really understand me."

I did tell him, right? I did say that we were to wait. It’s not that he didn’t understand me.

Words pressed against his mouth, begged to be said, but he kept silent.

But Gansey’s words had somehow become unwitting weapons, and he didn’t trust himself to not accidentally discharge them again. 

“My words are unerring tools of destruction, and I’ve come unequipped with the ability to disarm them.

specifically coming across as condescending

 She clearly hadn’t found him condescending.  Which was probably because she hadn’t heard him speak.  

“Sometimes he’s very condescending.”  Adam looked at the ground. “He doesn’t mean to be.

“Really?” Gansey asked, so innocently startled by this that it was clear that Adam had been right before — he hadn’t meant to be condescending.

“God, I’m sick of your condescension, Gansey,” Adam said. “Don’t try to make me feel stupid. Who whips out repugnant? Don’t pretend you’re not trying to make me feel stupid.”  “This is the way I talk.

honesty

Adam suspected Gansey’s preference was because Ronan was earnest even if he was horrible, and with Gansey, honesty was golden.

“So I think we deserve the truth. Tell me you know something but you don’t want to help me, if that’s what’s going on, but don’t lie to me.”

“I’m going to need everyone to be straight with each other from now on. No more games. This isn’t just for Blue, either. All of us.”

He wasn’t sure how to speak without hurting Ronan. He couldn’t lie to him.

“age-inappropriate”

Gansey himself sat at an old desk with his back to them, gazing out an east-facing window and tapping a pen. His fat journal lay open near him, the pages fluttering with glued-in book passages and dark with notes. Adam was struck, as he occasionally was, by Gansey’s agelessness: an old man in a young body, or a young man in an old man’s life.

In his best professor voice

He sounded so old, Blue thought. So formal in comparison to the other boys he’d brought. There was something intensely discomfiting about him

once again Blue got the sense that he seemed older than the boys he’d brought with him.

There was something very ancient about him just then, with the tree arched over him and his eyelids rendered colorless in the shadows.

“You haven’t been a dependent since you were four. You went straight from kindergarten to old man with a studio apartment.” 

Malory had been the first one to take fifteen-year-old Gansey seriously, a favor for which Gansey would not soon stop being grateful for.

journal is comfort object

Gansey retreated to his bed, though he didn’t lie down. He reached for his journal, but it wasn’t there; he’d left it at Nino’s the night of the fight.

Whelk held his hand out for the journal. Gansey swallowed.  He asked, “Whelk — sir — are you sure this is the only way?” The journal weighted his hands. He didn’t need it. He knew everything in it.  But it was him. He was giving everything that he’d worked for away.  I will get a new one.

alexithymia

He thought this feeling inside him was shame.

Gansey tried several different ways to think of the situation, but there wasn’t any way he could paint it that made it hurt less. Something kept fracturing inside him.

Gansey couldn’t begin to explain the size of this awfulness. He only knew that it burst inside him, again and again, fresh every time he considered it. 

some complicated longing to settle an argument that waged deep inside himself.

overwhelming emotions

 More than anything, the journal wanted. It wanted more than it could hold, more than words could describe, more than diagrams could illustrate. Longing burst from the pages, in every frantic line and every hectic sketch and every dark-printed definition. There was something pained and melancholy about it. 

 His bald expression held something new: not the raw delight of finding the ley line or the sly pleasure of teasing Blue. She recognized the strange happiness that came from loving something without knowing why you did, that strange happiness that was sometimes so big that it felt like sadness.

He couldn’t stand it, all of this inside him.  In the end, he was nobody to Adam, he was nobody to Ronan. Adam spit his words back at him and Ronan squandered however many second chances he gave him. Gansey was just a guy with a lot of stuff and a hole inside him that chewed away more of his heart every year.They were always walking away from him. But he never seemed able to walk away from them.

“too serious”

Things seemed to weigh heavily enough on Gansey as it was.

His voice was peculiar. Formal and certain.

~awkward

He knocked fists with Adam. Coming from Gansey, the gesture was at once charming and self-conscious, a borrowed phrase of another language.

“I don’t know what else to say.”  “‘Sorry,’” she recommended.  “I said that already.”

clumsiness and disorganisation

It wasn’t that he meant to be careless — as Adam told him again and again, “Things cost money, Gansey” — it was just that he never seemed to realize the consequences of his actions until too late.

[Ronan] stopped the recorder and said, “You’re dripping gas on your pants, geezer.”

Gansey crashed onto the driver’s seat.

Then there were the notes, made with a half-dozen different pens and markers, but all in the same business-like hand. They circled and pointed and underlined very urgently. They made bulleted lists and eager exclamation points in the margins. They contradicted one another and referred to one another in third person. Lines became cross-hatching became doodles of mountains became squirrelly tire tracks behind fast-looking cars

Not the tidy stacks of an intellectual attempting to impress, but the slumping piles of a scholar obsessed.

It looked like the home of a mad inventor or an obsessed scholar or a very messy explorer; after meeting Gansey, she was beginning to suspect that he was all of these things.

EfficiencyTM

Gansey derived a large part of his pleasure from meeting goals, and a large part of that large part was pleased by meeting goals efficiently. There was nothing more efficient than aiming for your destination as the crow flew.

RulesTM

They didn’t even have the authority to choose an alcoholic beverage. They couldn’t be deciding who deserved to live or die.

likes mechanical things (not counting the camaro because that’s just Too Many Quotes to compile)

He liked the little knobs and toggles and gauges of cockpits, and he liked the technological backwardness of the simple clasp seat belts.

not understanding/realizing things

Again, his face was somehow puzzled by the fact of their hand-holding.

It hadn’t occurred to Gansey that if the Camaro had been operating properly, fleeing would’ve been an option.

Gansey didn’t understand, but he nodded. 

And now Gansey was a king here, and he didn’t even know how to use it.

difficulty reading people/nonverbal cues not impacting him

Gansey suspected that none of them was being completely honest with their replies, but at least he’d told them what he wanted. Sometimes all he could hope for was getting it on the record.

One of Ronan’s eyebrows was raised, sharp as a razor.  Gansey strapped his journal closed. “That doesn’t work on me. 

He didn’t believe she was really offended; her face didn’t look like it had at Nino’s when they’d first met, and her ears were turning pink. He thought, possibly, he was getting a little better at not offending her

need for certainty

What Gansey needed out of life was facts, things he could write in his journal, things he could state twice and underline, no matter how improbable those facts were.

generally unusual ways of thinking

An astonished Roman historian commented, You look under rocks no one else thinks to pick up, slick.

general “strangeness”

Adam leaned toward her as if he was about to say something, but ultimately, he just shook his head, smiling, like Gansey was a joke that was too complicated to explain.

“ARE YOU LISTENING, GLENDOWER? I AM COMING TO FIND YOU!” Gansey’s voice, ebullient and ringing, echoed off the tree-covered slopes around the field. Adam and Blue found him standing in the middle of a clear, pale path, his arms stretched out and his head tilted back as he shouted into the air.

“You find it not normal?”  She could tell that he very much wanted her to say that he wasn’t normal, so she replied, “Oh, I’m sure it’s quite normal in some circles.”  He looked a little hurt, but most of his attention was on the meter, which showed two faint red lights. He remarked, “I’d like to be in those circles.

Gansey couldn’t keep the exasperation from his voice. “‘Strange’ doesn’t help me. I don’t know what ‘strange’ means.”

He was himself, but he was something else, too — that something that Blue had first seen in him at the boys’ reading, that sense of otherness, of something more, seemed to radiate from that still portrait of Gansey enshrined in the dark tree.

not knowing other people don’t know things he knows

“Gansey, seriously,” Adam interrupted, to Blue’s relief. “Nobody knows what quiddity is.”

“Nobody knows who Ned Kelly is, either, Gansey.”

Born This Way

A small voice within Adam asked whether he would ever look this grand on the inside, or if it was something you had to be born into.

just. this. the way he knows to think this, the way he instinctively compares them to aliens that humans mistreat and that he logically shouldn’t love.

They were like aliens, Gansey thought. Aliens that we have treated very badly for a very long time. If I were a tree, I would have no reason to love a human.

[shakespearean-dream]

Since I don’t wanna get stuck in a reblog loop EHEHE I’M SO GLAD YOU LIKE MY ART AND HC’S ^_^ and YESSS the doomed queers ever. They get to be happy for like five minutes, no longer. And YEAH as someone with anxiety (I’ve gotten better at managing it bc I’ve just had to live with it lol) I’d like to think my depiction of it is pretty accurate, albeit Ted’s is ramped up MASSIVELY- paranoid fella.

Ngl I also just gave him my own anxious stims… minus the hair pulling. I do everything else mentioned there 😭

Also GLAD IT WAS A GOOD READ!!! If you can’t tell I’m very rambly. So yea.

r u kidding rambles r the only way my brain works 🙄🙄🙄 kidding (not), literally no worries about ur writing style LOL

i feel you on the nervous habits and stims cause LORDYYY i’m the worst about skin picking 🤦‍♂️ i was considering getting myself one of those little picking pads that are full of beads a while ago, and thinking about it now that would be so funny if that was one of the things AM sent down to ted when he was feeling nice for all of two seconds LOL

shitty grayscale doodle cause i could not resist the thought 💀 like “here u go boy. this’ll cure your severely worn down fingers and compulsive self soothing picking” n it did for all of 2 hours he had it, until it ran out. 😭 back to abusing his cuticles!!!1!!1

[micahthemoon]

Summer 2024

The Are You Tattoo Saga

I have been fascinated by tattoos for a long time. I love the fact that you can make yourself into a work of art quite literally showing your passions and story on your sleeve. There’s autonomy in getting tattoos as well; taking back our body that may or may not give us dysphoria (or other senses of discomfort) and decide what it shall look like for ourselves. Body parts that otherwise would make me uncomfortable have been made a source of pride (on good days) or at least I can look at it with content indifference (on the lesser days). All because of some ink. This might be why I have been getting more and more tattoos that – in some cases- may be seen as a spontaneous decision. This tattoo I’m gonna talk about now however is far from one of those.  

If you read my previous entry about how Käärijä accidentally validated my gender, you may remember that I mentioned a comfort stim sentence: Are You.

It can be linked back to the Eurovision preshow days where Bojan and Jere were just starting to get to know each other which the two idiots did by fooling around on a date. This saying has not only become a way for the two of them to show endearment (or the fans getting to interact with each other and the boys), but it has also been what finally learned me how to roll my r’s practicing the right cadence alone in my room for the simple fact that saying it made me feel warm and fuzzy inside. It was also one of the things I became known for meeting up with fans irl for the first time between Käärijä’s Stockholm and Berlin gigs last year.

And so it didn’t take me long to daydream about getting it tattooed. Which ended up becoming a whole saga when Joker Out announced that they’d visit Malmö on their upcoming Europe tour (which is basically Denmark) and where I later – with a lot of people cheering me on from the sidelines – got Bojan to write the phrase down to me in two different fonts. To this day the concert is amongst my favourites.

Yet things don’t end there because one comment later about the possibility of getting Jere involved as well and I was off making a new sign. I tried getting Käärijä’s attention in Böle to no avail (other than making myself more stressed than I’d ever been at a concert). So, this summer going to Backas and Allas Sea Pool I had let the sign stay at home. Jokes on me, because suddenly in a rush of bravery I made myself a new sign out of half a pizza lid box left behind in the queue for the Allas Sea Pool gig. Low and behold if not Jere saw and reacted to this sign during the concert!! Getting by with a little help from my friends (especially this one finnish fan I’d met at Backas) I went home from the gig with Jere’s handwriting. A little over a month later on August 13 2024 the Are You tattoo saga concluded when I got a local tattoo artist (I’d already fanboyed too back in March when getting one of those spontaneous tattoos of mine) to make the little three way conversation permanent on my skin.

I have no idea how long the brainrot will continue. Maybe I will stop being this much of a fanboy in a year or two. But even so I don’t think (or at least I hope not) this tattoo will lose its meaning. Because It’s so much more than just a fan tattoo. It’s a story about a time I was foolishly brave no matter if it went well (Malmö) or it didn’t (Böle). It’s a story about the importance of interpersonal connections (the fan in Allas), the power of a found family through a fandom (or two) and also just a time in my life I was actively a participant in pursuing my own happiness.

I’ll say it again: I freaking love tattoos.

[honey-crypt]

Hello! I just found your page and I think this is such a cool concept for a write-a-thon. If you get around to it could you the bachelor/ettes reacting to the farmer stimming? I have lots of different ones so feel free to do whatever!

If you’d rather just do a few, I’d like to see any combination of Sam, Sebastian, Shane, Haley, or Penny please. Thank you lots for your time! I hope you enjoy writing these :)

a/n: combining these two requests into one :D hope you all enjoy!

warnings: self-destructive stimming, ableist mircoagression in shane's part (he repents i prommy)

★ sdv bachelor/ettes seeing the farmer stim for the first time ★

abigail

★ you hand flap in front of her for the first time after she gives you a cool rock she found in the mines

★ gets all excited because you’re excited and it’s very cute

★ “i’m glad you like the rock! i’ll make sure to get you more so i can see how happy you are” she doesn't realize that you stim whenever but hey, at least you get more rocks

alex

★ baby boy is confuzzled when you start repeating the phrase "eat my ass like a christmas tree" to yourself (author: this was one of my vocal stims for the longest time)

★ "how do you eat ass like a christmas tree????"

★ when you explain that it's a vocal stim, he just gives you a thumbs up and tells you that your stims are kinda funny to watch /lh

elliott

★ sees you full body rocking for the and is concerned

★ "my dear, is everything alright? do you need anything?" bro is ready to get you anything and everything you need, he wants you to be okay

★ immediate sigh of relief when you explain that it's a stim and informs you that you can stim whenever you need to in front of him

emily

★ she stims too, baby girl is autistic

★ sees you rubbing your cheeks with your thumbs and immediately knows that you're stimming

★ prompts her to start stimming with you, hers is humming while rubbing her knuckles #neurodivergentbesties or #neurodivergentlovers

harvey

★ dude's a doctor so when he sees you snapping your fingers repeatedly, he knows that you're stimming

★ makes sure that you're not stimming cuz you're overwhelmed or anything, he wants the best for you

★ can't help but smile like a goober when you stim, he loves every part of you

haley

★ i honestly can hc her as autistic (emily and haley the autism sisters but in differet fonts) and she stims by twirling her hair

★ acts nonchalant when she sees you stim for the first with tongue clicking but your stim's volume kinda overwhelms her

★ has to go in another room while you stim cuz of it but she makes sure to let you know that it's because she's volume sensitive and not because she hates your stimming

leah

★ literally goes :D when you stim for the first time by tugging on your left ear, she finds your stimming silly and unique

★ will death glare anyone who stares or makes a mean comment about your stimming (woman has a lumberjack bod, she can kill a man without hesitation)

maru

★ also stims by biting on her knuckles (she's trying to find a less destructive stim) but she gets surprised by your vocal stimming when you repeat "making my way downtown with a glock, your ass gonna get shot, pow pow pow"

★ legit asks you why that's your stim

★ tries not to bust out laughing when you do that vocal stim of yours in front of her dad (-500 friendship points with demetrius)

penny

★ vincent's neurodivergent so she's familar with stimming and such, she's good at helping to redirect self-destructive stimming

★ almost freaks out when you bite the inside of your cheeks repeatedly as your stim, she's scared that your mouth was gonna be full of blood cuz of it

★ helps you to replace that stim with a safer one, making popping sounds with your mouth

sam

★ certified vocal stimmer this man is and boy, has it gotten him in trouble

★ his face legit goes :OO when he sees you vocal stimming for the first time

★ the two of you accidentally give the other terrible things to vocal stim ("assfucker", "titty stitches", "smoke ass and eat grass")

sebastian

★ surrounded by neurodivergents, he cannot escape (he's also nd but the acquired kind so his brain got all fucked up and he can't socialize good)

★ facepalms when he sees you singing randomly for the first, an immediate clock that you're stimming and you're another neurodivergent fucker that he's stuck with /pos

★ sometimes stims with you, his stim is soft humming

shane

★ dumbass, bro is a dumbass and clueless about a lotta stuff, such as stimming

★ seeing you hand flapping for the first time and goes "wtf are you five or smth??"

★ gets his ass beat by you for being a meanie about it but he later does research on stimming and tries his best to be more understanding of it

[nightcolorz]

How are we feeling about the s3 teaser !! I’m so excited

HOLY SHIT??? I just watched it and I’m quite literally drenched in sweat. I did not expect to get a teaser let alone a SONG so soon. Omfg, im going to struggle to give my thoughts lmao cuz I’m stimming so much my head is pounding (happy stimming of course lmao). But omg, so I am so so so impressed and so down for the vampire lestat being changed from a book to a DOCUMENTARY!! That is so smart and works perfectly for the tone and the interview set up. Daniel directing is a CRAZY move but I’m happy that we r gonna get to see old maniel tear lestat to shreds. I am incredibly hyped now that I know that we really r in for something rocky horror and 80s glam rocked inspired, Lestat styles himself like he’s on Eurovision, and this is going to be a dark comedy tonal shift for the ages. I liked it when lestat was hysterically sobbing that was so tvl. Ask me again what I think later when I’m not loosing my mind and have watched it a dozen more times haha

[batwynn]

Some examples of stims I did while growing up until I was forced to stop each one by an adult in my life:

Humming/whistling

Copying bird whistles

Chewing on my hair

Chewing on pens/pen caps/pencils/etc.

Matching a sound from around me

Repeating words/phrases frequently

Making ‘weird’ sounds with my mouth

Tapping something/tapping a finger or foot

Singing what I was doing

Blinking in patterns

Constant doodling

And undoubtably more that I don’t even remember.

The result of being forced to stop stimming no matter what stim I tried:

Constantly anxious. Constantly.

I started picking at my skin and pulling out my hair.

More outbursts and/or more shut downs.

I formed a stutter under even the smallest amount of stress.

I became less social. Didn’t talk as much. Didn’t feel comfortable communicating to anyone.

I was markedly less happy.

Restless and unable to focus because stimming helped me work with my ADHD side as well.

Confusion, hurt, and isolation because I was then aware that I was ‘weird’.

I formed a huge distrust of adults around me, including family. Which lead to me getting in trouble for not ‘respecting authority’. (Aka: I asked questions and didn’t take what everyone said as a fact.)

I developed depression.

Oh, and I was still bullied for being ‘weird’ so stopping stimming didn’t even help that. Surprise!

Eventual outcome as an autistic adult:

Constant anxiety that I often can’t source and don’t know how to sooth anymore.

No self soothing techniques work or feel ‘natural’ anymore.

I lean heavily on disassociation to get through the day and/or during stressful moments.

I’m accused of faking it, lying, etc. by people because I learned to mask my autistic traits as best as possible.

Frequently don’t have the language for when I’m overwhelmed, and frequently misunderstood when I try to explain that something is bothering me like fabric texture or sounds.

Treated like I’m incompetent, a child, or a collection of both if I don’t behave ‘perfectly’.

Talked down to a lot.

Still picking at my skin and pulling out my hair. 🥲

Constantly feel like I’m lying about who I am/ frequent identity crisis and impostor syndrome mix up.

Trouble with relationships/friendships to different extremes. (Ex: I was groomed as a kid/teen and didn’t know until I was in my late 20s. Have trouble keeping friendships because I just don’t know how to interact with people the ‘right way’.)

I had to teach myself a lot of ‘regular’ social cues and behaviors by mimicking people around me. That unfortunately doesn’t alway work, and/or comes with accidentally mimicking a personality trait/quark/etc. which leads to people thinking your mocking them or copying them.

A lot of rage for the people who treated me like shit my entire life for being autistic.

Moments of feeling very small and childish when things are out of my control.

Feeling guilty/uncomfortable about some things I like because they’re considered childish. (Ex: stuffed animals.)

Fear of any and all interactions with strangers. Fear of not being able to predict where the conversation will go. Fear of extreme negative reactions even when it doesn’t seem realistic for that to happen.

And more that are so ingrained in my life that I don’t even recognize them anymore.

I can’t not think about how my life could have turned out if those adults had let me be comfortably autistic. I can literally see physical differences in old photos of me, where I just stopped being me. Where the happiness and honesty were bullied out of me. And were my stims and behaviors that bothersome? No, actually. I had already learned to do different stims in different environments so I wasn’t being noisy when I needed to be quiet etc. But that wasn’t good enough, so every stim and every ‘weird’ behavior had to stop. Why? Because these adults had a power over me and other children like me, and they liked to abuse it.

It’s abuse. The end.

[blondwhxrewrites]

A fox lives in my grandparents backyard and it’s adorable ♡ It was born in my grandparents backyard last year and came back this year, but looking at it got me thinking about a Fox! reader who’s so anxiety coded 🙏🙏 i’m debating on writing it but i’m not sure, i have been wanting to get back into writing tho ngl(My english teacher ruined my confidence in my writing so bad it ain’t even funny.)

OMG FOX READER WHO HAS ANXIETY AND THE WAY FOXES ALWAYS ARE SO VOCAL AND DO THOSE LITTLE NOSES ESPECIALLY WHEN THEY ARE HAPPY CAN BE VOCAL STIMS THAT FOX!READER DOES

AND SHE CAN BE HYPERACTIVE AND YAPS ALL THE TIME ABOUT HER SPECIAL INTERESTS AND LITERALLY IS JUST A BALL OF ANXIOUS HYPERACTIVETY

[crazylittlejester]

THEYRE (the chain) ALL AUTISTIC ESPECIALLY THE ERAS WAR TRIO!! IN THIS TEDTALK I WILL-

mask was, ironically, very low masking

warriors was (and still kinda is) VERY high masking

(Tune is somewhere in the middle + ADHD)

mask really struggled at first on the battlefield because of his extreme lack of social skills (dude was raised in the woods with a bunch of other autistic fairy kids), lack of danger awareness, and poor understanding of war/battlefield (he’s used to 1-1 boss fights not war), and the fact that as a kid, he was already much much higher support needs, not even mentioning how traumatized he must’ve been.

warriors was drowning in stress, a literally TEENAGER (I hc him being 16-20 during the war) severely masking and like, PHYSICALLY UNABLE TO STOP. Among all the other non-neurodivergent stressors (cia, A WAR, parenting two kids in battle, food issues)

warriors helped mask learn tips for surviving the neurotypical world** (TM) and made sure he was 100% accommodated, since warriors knew he, himself would never have that.

Mask subtly (and probably accidentally) pushed warriors to mask less, creating a safe space where the three bros could all be them selves. He’d throw the biggoron sword if someone so much as looked NEAR where warriors was when he was stimming, ready to fight the h8ters if necessary.

later on, the trio (and now 6 more!) rejoin, and time is pleasantly surprised to see that warriors has kept some of the mentality. Granted, he’s not made any progress since then, but he’s not gotten worse, so that’s something.

Warriors is also quietly content that time has retained the social skills he taught him, in fact, he’s picked up even more! Though he finds it hard to find time at all scary, intimidating, or powerful, because warriors knows EXACTLY what is going through time’s head when he makes that face, I mean, he taught his brother himself!

warriors now has to face the living proof that he’s not weird or broken, lest he tell that to his eight brothers who are nowhere near as masking as he is, culture shock!

**DISCLAIMER!!

I know that the idea of “normalizing” autistic kids via teaching them neurotypical behaviors is a very complex and nuanced conversation to be had, and I’m not trying to parade around supporting ABA. (not to make this about me or anything,) but this pov/head cannon/prompt (?) is inspired from the perspective of me and my lower masking/much higher support needs sibling (both are autistic) :)

Your favorite,

-MANDARIN WARRIORS

I love you for this oh my god

To me, one of the things Mask struggles with the most besides social cues is controlling his facial expressions when especially when talking to others, which is why the other Links just automatically assumed he was the stoic silent type, because they saw this serious looking older guy who rarely smiles and were like “oh he means business-” but really he just has very flat expressions. Similarly I think he’s very dry when he speaks, it was worse when he was younger, and he’d gotten better at making himself sound more excited/happy, but occasionally the others (not including Wars) think he’s being sarcastic when he isn’t. And this is part of why they can never tell if he’s joking about having fought the moon.

With how chaotic his childhood was (and also because of the autism), to me he’s someone who really needs stability and predictably, which is why ranch work is sooo good for him. Like yeah unexpected things happen, but he can also sit there and take care of the animals and know he will be taking care of the animals the next day (also I think braiding Epona’s mane would be both comforting for him AND the horse)

Warriors is someone I can see stressing out so much about how people view him and he’s so scared of being anything less than perfect that he ends up getting trapped masking and everything just builds up until he explodes. He certainly was not coping well during the war, with everything that was going on, but I totally agree that Mask helped him mask less. Those two absolutely helped each other, both intentionally and completely by accident. By the time he’s in his mid/late twenties, he’s gotten a lot better about not letting everything build up, and also at unmasking every once in a while when he feels safe. (you’re so right, time/mask would fight ANY haters on wars’s behalf)

Everything you said was so perfect and I love it!! I’ve written one fic centering around these two being autistic (although I didn’t explicitly state that because I don’t know if they’d have like, the medical diagnosis for that in hyrule), and i really need to write more. I myself am autistic and good autism rep is really important to me because I never saw it as a kid

You’re literally my favorite at this point, mandarin wars anon, I hope you’re having a good day 🫶

[beannary]

Hi! Thank you for blessing us all with tlp :) it’s such a cool au and I like it a lot!! I have many thoughts about it so I’ll start writing them now:

With Donnie being raised by Big Mama, the change in dynamics with literally everyone is interesting to think about, so of course my brain has latched onto the concept of how Donnie’s dynamic with his own brain (his neurodiversity/autism) effects his relationships with himself and his family. 

(beannary note: putting everything under the cut so this doesn’t get too long)

Comparing Donnie’s relationship with his own neurodiversity in tlp to canon makes me so emotional you have no idea…..in canon he’s never had a need to mask, living in the sewers with a family who accepts him for who he is, so he has difficulties doing so when needed; we’ve seen him in situations where he is unable to mask/act “socially appropriate” (the mystic library episode comes to mind - he can’t control the volume of his voice when he gets excited. Also every single time he is put in a situation where he has to lie but he is comically bad at it. Also the many many instances in which he is shown being unable to ‘read the room’). But in tlp he seems to be masking a lot, either when he’s interacting with Big Mama’s guests or with Big Mama herself (your Masking is Hard comic comes to mind instantly - how Donnie has a hyperspecific role to play as Big Mama’s Son and the pressure to not only be sociable, but be sociable in a way that meets his mother’s expectations. Its a lot to handle, acting a way that doesn’t come naturally to you and no matter how many times you go through the motions you feel as if it doesn’t get any easier and you dont know why). Tlp Donnie can mask far more convincingly than canon Donnie, but only because he’s had to mask frequently throughout his life. It seems to me like he’s been taught at a young age that he needs to stop acting so “weird” (for example, stimming in obvious ways), because that kind of behavior loses its cuteness fast with Big Mama & most of the company she associates with. I imagine lots of his behaviors are discouraged as he grows up because they’re “not cute anymore” and he’s “not a little kid anymore” and he “needs to learn some manners/self-control” even though everything “weird” Donnie does feels like so natural to him, even as he gets older. Although I do think Donnie has instinctively coped with this by making his stims more subtle (this is where I get to be self-indulgent and imagine his stims - humming, tapping his feet, fiddling with any object he can get his hands on, blasting EDM in his headphones etc), and he only pulls out the big guns (aka big stims) when he’s in his own room with the door closed (or when he’s locked himself in a bathroom stall and physically cannot hold himself back anymore). 

Unfortunately for Donnie I also figure that this amount of masking makes him more susceptible to meltdowns. In canon Donnie has so much freedom and control over his own life that the only time I can remember him being even mildly close to Meltdown Territory is during the Todd Scouts episode when his tech was taken away. And even then, he immediately knows how to cope with the change by Creating with whatever tools he is able to find, his brothers just accepting his absence as he goes MIA to build the things he needs to make himself feel better (like the wooden battle shell). But in tlp au does he even know how to cope in healthy ways? Does he get to go MIA for long periods of time so he can pull himself together and prevent a meltdown from happening? Oouuggghh I just want him to be happy :( poor guy feels as if he has no control over his life to the point he develops an eating disorder, he absolutely has no idea what a healthy coping skill is. I’m torn in between concepts for how he processes his neurological differences - either he goes the “autism? don’t be ridiculous, everyone feels this way” route or the “I am astronomically Different from anyone else I know. surely this is just due to my superior intellect and not a developmental disability of any sorts”. Either way this dude is not connecting any dots nor processing any emotions in a healthy way. (Now that I think about it, while Donnie lives with Big Mama, his unique and different skillset are probably what he clings onto to feel needed and useful to his mother, so the latter makes sense for him during that time. But the former makes sense when the concept of Different scares him, when it’s not just intellect and fixations and tunnel vision but sensory issues and social awkwardness and repetitve movements, things that very clearly separate him from his family and make him less of the Perfect Son he is expected to be.) 

Another thing I’d like to ramble about is Donnie, his autism, and his relationship with his brothers and his dad….you mentioned in an ask that he doesn’t know he’s autistic but that may change when he starts living with the Hamatos. This made me think about how Donnie’s brothers react to his autistic traits in canon versus in tlp (assuming that no one knows that Donnie is autistic; they just know that his brain works Differently than the rest of theirs). In canon, Donnie has lived with his brothers for his entire life. His brothers know his habits, his preferences, his sensitivities, his moods, etc. He may be Different than the rest of them, but not so much that they think about it for more than 5 minutes. Donnie is their brother - any “weird” behavior is not too different from how how he usually acts. Donnie may be weird but they all are in their own ways and it’s not a big deal to them. His brothers are used to accommodating his needs and dealing with his moods. However, in tlp, Raph, Mikey, and Leo don’t know him very well yet. They’ve never lived with him before and when they do accept Donnie into their home as an Official Brother (a development I’m very excited for), they also can’t help but immediately recognize the stuff that makes him Different from the rest of them (if they’re the ones that recognize that it could be autism, than it’s Differences in a way that’s Familiar, if that makes sense). Differences that aren’t just unhealthy habits and mindsets from his previous shitty living situation. Obviously they can be accommodating but it would understandably take longer to adjust simply because they’re not used to Donnie’s specific quirks. They don’t know right away what makes him uncomfortable, or what textures he prefers, or why he moves and talks and acts the way he does. It’s a learning experience for everyone. 

As for Donnie and Splinter….they make me so emotional!!!! Your art of the two of them is so so good and captures that emotion. When Donnie lives with the Hamatos, everything changes. Anyone would have difficulties adjusting to this huge change, but I imagine for Donnie it’s a lot harder. How do you cope with leaving your mother, your only family member you’ve known your entire life? And now suddenly he has to stop being His Mother’s Son and become His Father’s Son, another role he has to create and adjust to (he doesn’t realize yet that his father doesn’t need Donnie to try to be someone he’s not - he loves Donnie unconditionally, just the way he is ;-;) because having a role to play is familiar to him, the only familiar thing he can cling onto during these huge changes in his life. Unfortunately though it just makes everything more exhausting, not only coping with the move into a literal sewer but trying to act like a perfect son for Splinter. Donnie doesn’t know yet that he doesn’t have to mask in front of a parent or meet impossible expectations to “earn” parental love and approval. Meanwhile Splinter sees how Donnie acts with his brothers (much more casual because Donnie doesn’t feel as if he has to “impress” his brothers the way he has to with a parental figure) versus how Donnie acts with him and thinks he’s doing something wrong, that he’s the one giving off an impression to his new son that he has to suppress his stims or say the “right” things or do stuff that makes him uncomfortable because he thinks it’ll make his parent happy…..but I have faith that this pressure eases with time, that they get more comfortable around each other the longer they live together. Eventually Donnie won’t be hesitant or embarrassed to take off the mask in front of his father. Maybe one day he’ll get rid of the mask around his family entirely!! Either way I’m excited to see tlp Donnie’s journey :) thanks for sharing your au with us!

HI THIS IS BEANNARY SPEAKING NOW wow this was so much and im sooooo glad that you are enjoying this au! And for real its so flattering that you like?? wrote all this about my silly au this has actually been the only thing that I could think about since you asked if you could send this in and yeah it’s just really nice to see that people like my comic and this little separated au that i dreamed up

One of the big differences between canon donnie and tlp donnie is tlp donnie’s ability to mask really well. When he was a kid, a lot of his stims were cute and adorable so Big Mama didn’t like encourage them? but let him you know stim freely since she thought it was cute, but as he got older and he kept on stimming in obvious ways she started really hounding him to stop. I do really like the idea of donnie starting to stim in more subtle ways, and im definitely going to try to incorporate that in some of the comics! He still needs to stim, because you know of the autism, and so he does tap his feet and play with whatever little object he can get in his hands when he’s in public. His room is his one safe space where he can really be himself, since its the one spot where he’s not being watched by anyone (his safe space isn’t his lab because what he does in his lab is highly controlled by Big Mama so while he does like being in there and getting to do his science, he’s still pretty on edge since he never knows if his mom is watching him or not). Donnie really loves spending time in his room, though he doesn’t really get a whole lot of time there by himself since Big Mama has filled his schedule with as many extra curriculars as possible so she can show him off all the time). But speaking of his room it sure would be bad if something happened to it! Sure would be bad if it was destroyed in some way thereby destroying his one safe space! Haha! ;)

And no! Donnie does not know how to cope in healthy ways! He is very good at figuring out when he is about to have a meltdown and at figuring out a way to subtly get out of a situation so he can go recuperate somewhere in private, but even then, he can never spend a whole lot of time to himself because if he ever disappeared for an abnormally long amount of time, it would draw attention to himself and more specifically to these meltdowns that he’s having and he really wants those to stay off of Big Mama’s radar since if she knows about them then that’s one more thing for her to criticize and then it’ll be even harder for him to deal with them with his mom now being aware of them. And yeah he does know about autism but he’s still like no it simply could not be me but in that way where he’s like 99% sure he’s autistic but is just refusing to acknowledge it so he can keep on pretending to be ‘normal’. if that makes sense alksdjfh

Living with the Hamatos is going to be very hectic and scary for Donnie just because of how different their home is from his current home. In tlp, Raph also is autistic im pretty sure idk I might change that as the comic progresses but at this point that is what im going with but just havent had a whole lot of time to develop, but that’s part of the reason why the hamatos are so accepting of Donnie, its because they’re already used to living with a sibling who is autistic so all of this is second nature to them, it’s just normal and that really throws donnie for a loop because he’s so used to walking on all these eggshells making sure to act as allistic as possible 24/7 only to be suddenly dumped into an environment where its completely normal and accepted for him to just be himself. And sure it’ll be a learning curve for the hamatos because like obviously not all autistic people are the same but it’ll also be a learning curve for donnie since he’ll finally be able to relax and figure out who he is without having to hide himself all the time. 

Donnie and splinter’s relationship is what im really the most excited to write about. I really want Donnie’s experience leaving Big Mama to mirror Splinter’s experience. And I really don’t want to spoil too much but Donnie is really not gonna like Splinter much at first, and it’s gonna take a while for Donnie to warm up to his dad, but also Splinter is going to be the most understanding of what Donnie is going through because well, Splinter also left an abusive relationship with Big Mama. I dont really want to say much more about their relationship because I dont want to spoil the good angst I have planned but I’m really excited to explore their relationship more!!!!

Also just for the record I have not like proofread any of this so there may be typos or maybe i said something dumb so just lmk and ill fix it aklsdjhf Im not autistic (or am I! I havent been to therapy in a while and I would not be surprised to find out that I am autistic or that I have adhd or something else) so lmk if i said something stupid or phrased something in a dumb way and I cannot emphasize how fast I will fix it 

Ok bye now!!! this was fun!!! and thank you for sending this in!!! Idk it just really warms my heart that someone out there is thinking about this silly au this much, makes it feel like all the work ive put into making this comic is worth it :)