#I’m just chilling (in Cedar Rapids)

[mashallah]

Also since he dropped out there’s been this like massive boom of femininimenon kamala harris videos on tiktok and it’s really stupid because why are we girl powering Missus Mass Incarceration

[ladybirdswritings]

SWEET THING, DBF — joel miller x reader.

DESCRIPTION: your life is a storm—an overbearing father, a shitty boyfriend, and the ache of growing up. everything becomes more tangled when you find yourself drawn to your father’s best friend, joel. NOTES - finally, part two. leave me all your thoughts and opinions. i love them <33 | prev part ; next part

two;

“Put your seatbelt on, Y/N.”

His voice was gruff—tired from overuse, nearly ready to silence entirely. A rich, southern rasp that sent chills down anyone’s spine, yours included. You obeyed without hesitation.

“Thank you for this…” was all you managed in a whisper while locking the metal into place—trapped.

You didn’t know your daddy’s friend too well, but you knew enough. Most people avoided him, whether it was the constant scowl etched on his face or those dark eyes that seemed to scream threats his quiet mouth never voiced. Everything about him made people stiffen, their bodies rigid as old boards.

He only hummed, his eyes fixed on the road, his jaw ticking as he navigated toward the party nearby.

“A left here,” you offered, leaning forward and pointing just past his line of sight.

When he breathed, the scent of honey and jasmine flowers on your skin clung to the air between you. His jaw locked tighter.

You knew you looked every bit the spoiled, overprotected little princess your daddy raised you to be. Skipping Jackson’s town dance to attend some trashy house party hosted by your boyfriend wasn’t exactly subtle rebellion, but you didn’t care.

Where your father insisted on preserving the innocence of your youth, you argued you’d only get to be young once. Only get to date questionable men, drink questionable drinks, and laugh about it later one time in your whole life.

Naive? Sure. But you didn’t know that.

Joel didn’t wait for you to notice he’d parked before snaking a firm arm across the console. His calloused fingers brushed the hem of your denim-clad thigh. Your heart stuttered, your eyes widening as his glare burned into you.

So close.

And then, the seatbelt clicked.

You exhaled shakily, a smile tugging at your lips as you reached for the door. But before you could escape, his rough fingers caught your chin, tugging your face back until you were forced to meet his eyes.

Dark, chocolate eyes.

“You’re real lucky tonight, sweetpea. Now don’t go in there and make me look like a fool to yer’ daddy. You drink responsibly, and you don’t touch a blunt in sight—understand?”

You gulped, cheeks burning tomato red. Wide-eyed and frozen, you nodded. You were nothing more than a fish caught in the hands of a cold fisherman, your pretty face cradled between his calloused palms.

“What, you think I’m stupid? Think I don’t know what’s gonna go on the second you walk that purtie lil’ ass inside?”

His voice was sharp, and you stammered, blinking up at him as your breath hitched. He knew. Of course, he knew. He was young once, too.

“I’ll be responsible, Mr. Miller—sir,” you lied through your teeth, the sweetness in your voice a thin disguise.

A smirk tugged at the corner of his mouth, and a deep, gravelly laugh escaped him.

“Oh, sure you will, sweetpea.”

Satisfied he’d issued a proper warning, he released you. But before you could scramble away, he added, “Go on and behave, and I might just convince your daddy to let you live a little more often.”

Hope bloomed in your chest like wisteria tangling with your rapid heart. If Joel vouched for you, maybe daddy would ease up.

A plan solidified in your head. All you had to do was be good.

You could do that! Easy, just be good.

Step one? Sweeten him up.

“You’re a peach, Mr. Miller,” you chirped, leaning forward to press a kiss to his stubbled cheek.

You lingered a moment longer than you should have.

Where Jesse smelled of beer, snow, and fresh spices, Joel smelled of whiskey, cedar, and leather. Of hard work and blood-stained hands.

Joel noticed the pause, and slowly, his head turned. Just an inch closer, and his lips could press right against yours.

The thought made your eyes widen.

What was wrong with you? He was doing you a favor, and here you were imagining how his scowling lips might feel against yours. How his tongue—experienced, confident—might tease the roof of your mouth, trail down your neck…

He peered at you through bourbon lashes.

“That business doesn’t work on me, sweetpea…” he started, freeing a hand so to tuck a stray ringlet of your untamed waves behind your ear. You inhaled sharply.

“You gon’ be good?” His voice was low, a tickling whisper that sent warmth flooding through your body.

“I am,” you promised, your teeth betraying the truth behind your pretty smile.

He nodded once. “Go on, then. I’ll be parked out front. Holler if you need me.”

His knuckles whitened on the steering wheel as you slipped out, your heart racing with every intrusive thought lingering in your head.

Maybe you were ovulating. Or maybe you were a basket case.

You shook your head. Jesse. Jesse. Jesse. Your boyfriend—Jesse.

With that, you slammed the Chevy door and hurried toward the party.

•••

Big. Fucking. Mistake.

As soon as the scent of weed and tequila hit your senses, you grinned. A tiny buzz wouldn’t be too hard to hide from Joel.

One shot here. Another there. You inched closer to Jesse, ready to surprise him.

And you did.

“Y/N!”

There he was, wide-eyed and guilty, his lips swollen from Abby’s kiss.

Tight, toned Abby.

They were tucked in a corner, her lips lazily trailing his throat. The sight made your knees wobble. When Jesse saw you, he jerked away, but the damage was done.

Abby’s hands shot up as though she were innocent, and it took all your strength not to lunge for the bitch.

“Baby—” Jesse started, but your throat tightened, hot tears threatening to spill.

You remembered how he admired your strength back in high school. When you were nerdy and unimportant — only glanced at after the tragic death of your mother. Everyone else pitied you. Jesse was different. He’d whispered sweet words to you after your mother passed, he’d made you less… stuck-up; convinced you that tequila could numb the pain. God, it did.

“Y’know, you’re a real tough girl to show up every day with your head high after everything that’s happened…”

“Sip this— baby. all those thoughts about your mom will go away…” he’d whispered once, tipping vodka onto your tongue. He had lost his mom, too. He knew how to stop the agony.

And now? He was the one causing it.

“Fuck you, Jesse. We’re done,” you snapped, your voice cracking despite your best efforts to sound strong.

You turned to leave, but Abby’s smug voice stopped you cold.

“Don’t know why you’re so pressed, princess. I dig chicks too. You could’ve joined us.”

You saw red.

Before you knew it, your ringed fist collided with her chiseled jaw.

Gasps echoed as she stumbled back into the crowd, her wide eyes meeting yours. Jesse grabbed your wrists, but you yanked them free.

“Stay the fuck away from me!”

And just like that, you stormed out, leaving the crowd and your dignity behind.

This wasn’t how your night was supposed to go.

But instead of sulking to Joel’s truck, you vowed to drown your sorrows in tequila until the world stopped spinning.

Oh yeah, that’s exactly what you intended to do.

[munchsquad-official]

Please send me some good good McElroy bits, I am in distress.

[shardofsun]

Me not watching a single one of the exile arc videos and happily living in my post-revolution pre-election world where everyone is happy and everyone reconciles

[siuling-hui]

Coming soon

[spikeyjo]

Fuck yes I hit my personal goal today 🥳

[findingjoynweirdstuff]

Dream SMP Recap (March 16/2021) - Worst Day

“May the best day of your past be the worst day of your future.”

—-

VOD LINKS:

Ponk

Foolish

Tubbo

Ranboo

Quackity

Badboyhalo

Captain Puffy

—-

- Foolish continues work on the mansion.

- Ranboo goes mining and talks about his ARG plans while getting chat to gamble. It’s the calm before the storm.

---

WORST DAY.

---

- Quackity’s stream opens with a shot of Schlatt’s Grave. The sound of a chest opening can be heard.

“Alex...you know, you and I? You know I wouldn’t do anything disadvantageous...”

-

Chapter One.

-

- Quackity climbs up to the roof of Punz’s tower, where he comes face to face with Bad.

Bad: "You keep getting in my way, Quackity...”

- Quackity asks why Bad brought him up here. He tells Bad he’s just an asset to the Egg. Bad replies that he’s not just an asset -- he’s serving a purpose Quackity could never understand.

Bad: “You call it the Egg...that’s just the surface. That’s just what you think it is. It is so much more than that. It is something you cannot even comprehend.”

- Quackity asks if all Bad is is an “asset to power.”

Quackity: “You don’t know what power is, Bad, then that’s your issue. That’s why I’m getting in your way. It’s ‘cause I know the ins and outs of business, I know the ins and outs of power. And I’m sorry that’s something you’re never gonna understand yourself.”

- Quackity tells Bad to not waste his time. Bad replies that he called Quackity to tell him to stay out of his way.

- Quackity then says he can show Bad what he’s been working on: real power.

- A cutscene shows Quackity and Bad riding off into the distance, making their way to:

Las Nevadas.

-

Chapter Two.

-

- At his cow farm, Quackity finds a book in the chest, wondering who put it there. It gives instructions to follow a railway track above.

“You had the fattest ass in my cabinet.”

- Quackity follows the line down into a cave where Glatt is waiting for him. It’s...a gym? The Big Man Gym.

- Austin from Austinshow is a dead guy with Glatt.

- He can’t go upstairs or else his skin starts falling off, so he stays down in the gym with his dad.

- Wilbur goes to the gym every day in his beanie.

- Tommy also came down to the gym.

- The dead all come down to the gym to lift weights.

- Quackity asks who else is up there. Glatt says he just wants to reconnect with Quackity.

- Glatt has apparently been learning Spanish.

- Mexican Dream also comes down to the gym. Neither Quackity nor Glatt know who he is and Quackity asks if Dream’s been visiting. He hasn’t helped Glatt learn Spanish.

- Quackity tells Glatt he hates seeing him, so he’ll give him five minutes.

- Glatt gives Quackity a preposition: He wants to escape the confines of the gym and wants to be revived. He knows of a thing that exists that could help him: a book.

- The green guy who comes down to the gym sometimes has this book.

- Quackity tells Glatt he has a business venture, and is willing to offer him a bet: 

If Quackity loses, he goes to Dream and gets the revive book and gives it to Glatt to use. If Quackity wins, Glatt never gets revived and works for Quackity forever.

They agree on the bet and start walking, Quackity asking Glatt about his other adventures...

-

Chapter Three.

-

- It’s raining. Quackity is standing outside Bee ‘n’ Boo as Sam walks up to him. He apologizes for calling Sam in on short notice.

- They head into the Big Innit Hotel, and Quackity tells Sam it’s time for him to visit Dream.

- Sam is hesitant. The last visit didn’t go well. 

- Quackity says that there are issues with the prison, and that’s that Tommy died in there, and as Sam’s business partner, he wants to know Sam is reliable.

- Sam replies that his job isn’t to keep the visitors alive, but to keep Dream there.

- Quackity asks, even though Sam has Dream locked up, what stopped him from killing Tommy? Nothing.

Quackity: “He has power, Sam. He still has power. Why haven’t we killed him?”

Sam: “We can’t kill him, Quackity, he’s the only one who can bring people back to life. It’s the whole reason we put him in the prison in the first place.”

- Quackity suggests, then, that they go in, take the book from Dream and then they won’t need Dream anymore.

- Sam points out that he’ll refuse to give anyone the book, since Dream knows that’s the only reason they’re keeping him alive.

- Quackity asks that he at least be allowed to try. 

- Sam says it’s not that he doesn’t trust Quackity, it’s that he doesn’t trust Dream. But, as Quackity points out, that’s the safety issue.

- Sam still doesn’t think it’s a good idea. Quackity starts backing away from the hotel slowly.

Quackity: “So how am I supposed to rely on you for any business opportunities, when you won’t even grant me one simple visit?”

Sam: “What is that supposed to -- I assume you’ve seen the work Awesamdude Constructions has done in Las Nevadas?”

Quackity: “Yeah, but Sam, that’s...You’re good at what you do, you’re just not cooperating though. That’s what I need from a business partner, cooperation.”

- Quackity has an idea. He places two item frames on the wall with an axe and a sword and asks to bring them in with him. That’s all he needs to get the last bit of power Dream has.

- Sam is still doubting, but Quackity brings up Tommy’s death, asking if Sam is going to let Dream get away with it. He assures Sam that he won’t kill Dream, just talk with him.

Quackity: “Sam, there’s an underlying safety issue, he killed Tommy. Do you really have any control of him right now? Is there any control you have over him right now, Sam? I can fix that, I can fix that! All you gotta do is let me in and bring these two in.”

- Quackity assures Sam that he knows what he’s doing and he’s willing to do whatever it takes to get that book.

- Sam finally agrees, and they walk over to Pandora’s Vault. They enter the prison and Sam asks Quackity the entry questions:

“When’s the last time you visited the prison?”

“This is my first time. I’ve never visited the prison before.”

“Where is your place of residence located?”

“Las Nevadas.”

“Do you believe the prisoner deserves to be locked up?”

“No doubt about it, of course I do.”

“What are all your prior relations with the prisoner?”

“We don’t get along, I’ll leave it at that.”

- Quackity seals the waiver book without signing it.

- They go through the security measures and Quackity does the same with the other waivers.

- They make it to the lava wall. Sam gives Quackity some food.

Sam: “The tools you have are whatever, but...if you’re gonna do this Big Q, do it right.”

- Sam throws Quackity shears, Warden’s Will, Warden’s Hammer and some item frames. He tells Quackity to not hold anything in his hand.

- The lava lowers, Quackity crosses on the bridge and comes face to face with Dream.

- Quackity asks Dream how it feels to be in there. Must feel bad.

- He brings up what Dream did to Tommy. Dream asks what people think about it. Did they think it was cool? What were they saying?

Quackity: “What matters is the very concept of it. You have a book that can bring people back.”

Dream: “And now people will believe me!”

Quackity: “Yeah...I know you have that book, Dream. Everyone at this point knows you have that book.”

Dream: “Yeah! That’s good!”

Quackity: “I mean, depends on the eyes of who you see it.”

Dream: “Well, I mean...it’s good for me.”

- Quackity tells Dream that he wants -- needs the book.

- Dream tells him that he burnt the book. Now it’s just knowledge in his head.

Dream: “I’m the book.”

- Quackity asks him to tell him what he knows, or else. He puts up the item frames on the wall and puts Warden’s Will in one of them.

Dream: “How did you -- “

Quackity: “I’m asking the nice way, Dream, and you didn’t want to tell me.”

Dream: “You’re not gonna kill me.”

Quackity: “I”m not gonna kill you, but --”

Dream: “SAM!”

Quackity: “I’m gonna make your last days in this fucking prison hell, Dream.”

Dream: “SAM! HOW DID YOU -- “

Quackity: “Don’t fucking touch me man, alright? It’s simple, Dream, alright? You’re gonna tell me all the knowledge you have in that fuckin’ book or I’m gonna come here every. Single. Fucking. Day. To make your life hell. That is exactly what I’m gonna fucking do, and I”m gonna stick to it until you give me that fucking book.”

Dream: “I’m not gonna tell you anything!”

Quackity: “You have no other choice. If you want me here every fucking day, then you’re gonna give me the fucking knowledge on the book. I’m not fucking around, Dream, you’re gonna tell me!”

Dream: “SAM!”

Quackity: “You can scream for Sam all you want, Dream.”

Dream: “How -- there’s no way -- How did you sneak it in?!”

Quackity: “Alright, alright, you know what? There’s been enough talking. There’s been enough talking, Dream. You’re gonna tell me, or we’re gonna do this the fucking hard way for as long as we need to do it.”

- The screen fades to black.

- Quackity walks to the El Rapids poster, his clothes splattered with blood. One by one, he takes down the faces of Sapnap, George and Karl. He leaves his intact.

- As Quackity goes to the peak of El Rapids and begins to take it apart, voices can be heard in the background.

...

Quackity: “This means nothing, George, this means nothing in comparison...to a challenge to power.”

“At the end of the day, what this is is a new beginning, okay? This is a new beginning for the country El Rapids. Ready? Let’s just hit each other at the same time, ready?”

“Three...”

“Two...”

“One...”

“Yeah!”

Sapnap: “I wanna fight Dream.”

Quackity: “Step by step, Sapnap, step by step. We’ll get there someday.”

Ghostbur: “What is Mexican L’manburg?”

Quackity: “Mexican L’manburg was a little place we made next to L’manburg, to kind of commemorate...”

“It’s time to say goodbye and rename it to El Rapids, baby! Have you heard of Cedar Rapids, Ghostbur?”

Ghostbur: “Yes, I’m just chilling there! Most of the time.”

Quackity: “YES!”

...

- Quackity removes his face from the picture.

- There’s a final shot of Quackity from the back, looking at the picture...

It cuts to live-action as Quackity crumples the shot into paper, puts down a whiteboard calendar with all the days marked “Visit Dream,” crosses off the first and throws his briefcase down, spilling its contents of poker chips and a pair of scissors.

- End of stream.

---

- Bad gets a pet horse named Pebbles! 

---

Upcoming events remain the same.

[electracraft]

upon lighting the flame that is me entering the dsmp fandom, albiet hesitantly, i get to learn... that. a minecraft youtuber/streamer(?) who's birthday is today got subtweeted by the us president. absolutely phenomenal, i can't believe this timeline is so beautifully well done. (this is not sarcasm, this is quite genuine! i have seen people take my words as sarcastic, so im telling you now that everything ill ever ever say shall be the most genuine of words. :))

if you want the context for it it’s this stream. basically quackity was playing horror game slenderman and in his scare induced panic he started to quote hillary clinton’s “i’m just chilling in cedar rapids”. so it started trending. and like 30 minutes later trump (back when he was still the president) tweeted something about twitter trending stuff that doesn’t have anything to do with what’s going on in the world. and quackity reacted to all of it on stream and it was hilarious i’d definitely recommend watching it and experience at least the last hour of it! if you’re not familiar with him quackity is so funny and is very good at coming up with bits on the spot he basically ranted for an hour about cedar rapids and trump and casually had one of the most iconic streams of twitch (totally unbiased ^_^)  also subscribe to him on youtube it’s his birthday and he’s close to 6 million

[teddy06writes]

wait my bad u dont write for george sorry ahhh can u make it quackity instead?

Quackity x reader (for reference they just asked for fluff)

trigger warnings: swearing

(y/n/n)- your nickname

premise: Quackity introduces you to his fans

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

“Alex? Are you sure about this?”

So far, you and Alex had been going steady for nearly a year, and the whole time Alex had managed to avoid letting the secret out to his fans, and now that you were both ready, you were going to announce your relationship, but, you were, needless to say, nervous.

“Of course I am baby,” He quickly took one of your hands in his, “There gonna love you, I promise.”

Though it did little to help your nerves you didn’t say it out loud, and Alex pressed a kiss to your knuckles before turning and hitting the ‘go live’ button.

The title of the stream wasn’t too exciting just ‘we’re playing horror games again!! (+special guest)’ , but still the chat began to fill with people, excited to know who it was.

Alex began to excitedly chatter to his chat, talking about the Slender game you guys were going to play, and you sat to the side watching as he finished getting things ready and turned on his web cam.

“Guys! Get hype! We’ve got something big today!”

You chuckled at his enthusiasm, and he grinned back at you, before motioning for you to move your chair in frame, “Guys! Guys I’ve got someone for you to meet!”

You smiled awkwardly at the camera, “Hello!”

“Guys this is my partner! This is (Y/n)!” Alex grinned, pecking at your cheek.

You blushed, “Hi guys!”

“Chat look at them! They’re so pretty! Chat they’re so awesome!”

You berried your head in his shoulder, laughing “Sto-op!”

“No! Let me show you off to the people!” He chuckled.

You scrunched up your nose at him, “I signed up for hanging out, not for being shown off!”

“Too late!” Alex said cheerfully, turning to peck your lips.

You giggled, sitting up more to kiss him properly.

He smiled into it, pulling away to address the chat, “I am not a simp! I’m not a simp chat!”

“He is!” You stage whispered toward the mic.

“Betrayal!” He gasped dramatically.

~~

Many failed attempts at making it through the game later, your chin was resting on Alex’s shoulder, as you read through the chat, Alex still attempting to play the game.

Your eyes skimmed over the repeated, ‘just chilling in cedar rapids’ and ‘guys hold hands I’m scared’, “Why is your chat so weird?”

“Leave them alone man! Let them live!” He looked over at the other monitor, “And if they are weird it’s not my fault!”

You chuckled, “except for the fact that they’re just echoing you Ms. Clinton.”

Alex snorted, “I am just chilling in Cedar Rapids! Let’s Pokémon go to the polls!”

“Your ridiculous.” you laughed.

He turned, quickly pressing a kiss to the tip of your nose before going back and resuming the game, “That I am.”

You chuckled, “Nerd.”

“Shut up.” He scoffed.

It only took about three more minutes for the scare counter to fully fill up, “It’s not me chat! It’s the game! The game adds more jump scares!”

“I feel like it doesn’t though.” You laughed.

“Yes it does!”

“Well still!”

He rolled his eyes, “Alright, whatever, I’ll see you later chat.” And ended stream.

He looked back at you and you cocked an eyebrow, “What?”

Alex grinned, leaning forward and peppering kisses all over your face, making you giggle.

“I love you.”

“I love you too, simp.”

[chrysalispen]

Prompt #23 - Pitch

AO3 LINK HERE

Fill under cut.

----------------------

The sound of the wind whistling about cracked stones and mortar and brittle cedar eaves reminded Aurelia of home.

Coerthas, like Garlemald, was a cold land-- cold within and without. Beyond the relatively cozy quiet of the Pillars compassion seemed in short supply. The great men of Ishgard were generous and respectful enough towards their own peers, but those below them both in station and in domicile were an afterthought at best. She couldn't very well blame the smallfolk for their thinly veiled hostility, nor their distrust of her. On paper at least, as far as the Holy See was concerned, she was a Fortemps, and that fact preceded her entry into the city slums.

She could feel the wariness all but radiating off the young woman as she drew a stool to the child's bedside. No great surprise, that. It seemed a reasonable enough inference to believe that no other healer - none with a legitimate shingle to hang, anyroad - would deign to make their services available to Ishgard's poorest.

The church had turned a blind eye to her activities in the Brume thus far; she suspected word of the tribunal had made the rounds for that to happen- but it was wise to be as circumspect as possible. Too many practitioners of the healing arts in this part of the star still believed in such notions as ‘balancing humors,’ and Aurelia refused to give the church or the High Houses further ammunition to make accusations of heresy.

Charges like those had a way of sticking. Especially if the three of them ran afoul of the Heavens' Ward a second time.

"How long has she been coughing like this, Edythe?" Aurelia asked in a hushed and gentle voice as she folded the child's small hand into her palm. The tiny body was hot to the touch, as was the surrounding space and the (alarmingly threadbare and filthy) linens. It made her think of the ceruleum heater in her old bedchamber.

"Three days, my lady. I thought she'd taken a chill and naught else, but she wouldn't leave her bed yesterday morning."

"She certainly has a fever," Aurelia reached into her black bag for her scope. "Has she eaten anything?"

"Aye, my sister says she took a little bread while I was working." The poor woman's face was pale and pinched with worry. "I-I work up in one of the big houses, you see, just a bit o' piecework here and there."

"For the lady of the house?"

"Oh, no, my lady. If I were that important, they'd give me lodgings. I sew for them what serve the lords." Edythe swallowed, the click of her throat audible even with the whistle of the storm outside. "...I can't spare a day's work today, if I'm honest, but she was so much worse this morning I feared she might..."

Aurelia loosened the ties that bound the little girl's tunic closed. "May I ask your little one's name?"

"Aye. It's Fenella."

She set her scope to the exposed chest to listen. The heartbeat was strong if a bit on the rapid side, but the lungs-- the girl's breaths were more akin to a wheeze than aught else.

"It's very fortunate you called when you did," she said after a moment. "Another day or two and this would have moved into her lungs, and it would have likely become very serious.” 

“Oh...”

“As it is, she'll need to be watched for a day or two until the fever breaks."

"I understand that, my lady, but it's just her, me, and my sister. I'm the only one with steady work." Her dark eyes held a silent and desperate plea. "My husband... he died not six moons past, fighting heretics out west. I've no one other than Olwen who can watch her. Do you have aught you can give her for it? A potion? Or even a bleed?"

"I don't bleed my patients,” she replied. “Even if I took part in such practices she's far too young to risk such treatments."

Aurelia refrained from offering a further opinion; it would do little good and Edythe was like to resort to a chirurgeon willing to do so if she didn't come up with a treatment of her own. She tapped her toe against the stone with a thoughtful frown. She'd taken ill with these agues a time or two when she was very young and her mother was still well enough to tend her. Accustomed to the deep chill of northern Ilsabard, Vittora had---

"Have you any pitch?"

"Pitch?" Edythe gave her a decidedly dubious look. "...You mean the tar for the roof? What would that do to help?"

"No, not that sort. Pitch as in resina." Aurelia floundered for a simpler explanation and tried to remind herself this was Coerthas, a land which was cold but hadn't always been so. A fellow Garlean would have understood immediately what she was asking about and why. "You've probably seen it sold at market in- in cakes. Or... actually I think in Ishgard it might be called balsam?"

"Oh, balsam. Why didn't you say so? I keep it on hand in the kitchen. It’s in a wee cabinet near the stovetop. I can go get it if you-"

"I can get it," Aurelia assured her. She glanced at the small wooden bucket next to the door, and a few fulms away, the wood crackling in the fireplace -- and knew how she wanted to do this. "Would you be able to slip outside and find me a few stones?"

"There's stones lying about everywhere. Rubble from the horde’s attack. How big should they be?"

She held up a closed fist. "No larger than this."

"Aye, I can find that much, but-- what do you mean to do?"

"I'll show you when you get back."

Once Edythe had wrapped herself in as many layers as she could and slipped out the door, Aurelia set to work.

She took the ladle hanging from the wall alongside two other rather weathered-looking kitchen spoons before digging about the small cabinet in the tiny kitchen, until she unearthed found three of the resinous pitch cakes she'd asked about. Aurelia folded one into her apron pocket, then with a glance at the teapot in the other room shook her head and took the empty three-legged pot next to the single-burner stove instead. It looked like it was used to heat water for laundry, but was not overly large. 

It would work for her intended purpose. She hoped.

There was a back door here that led into a yard barely large enough for one person to stand in and a ramshackle building that by the smell... she coughed and covered her nose with the back of one hand. Aye, that was the midden.

I'm not risking fouled snowmelt. Other door it is.

Aurelia closed the door, moved through the small room and past Fenella's sickbed, opened the front door, and began scooping handfuls of snow into the pot. Her fingers were red and aching in short order, and she wasted little time in hauling the pot back indoors to hang it from the chimney bar, risking another piece of kindling to keep the fire burning. The water had just started to bubble when the door opened at her back. Edythe had returned.

"The stones, my lady."

"Wonderful." She removed the pot from the fire with a soft grunt and reached for the resin cake she'd set aside in her pocket. "Can you put them in the fireplace? We're going to pull them out of the embers as soon as they're hot. Mind your fingers; you'll want to use the tongs."

As Edythe placed the stones Aurelia carefully crumbled the resin into the water-- cooling now, but hot enough to dissolve the pitch. The stringent scent of it prickled her nostrils as she stirred the pot's contents with the ladle. So far, so good.

It took relatively little time for the stones to reach the proper heating point. She took the tongs from Edythe, removed the stones from the fire, and placed them in the empty wooden bucket alongside.

"I don't-"

"Watch me."

Slowly Aurelia dipped the ladle into the resin-filled water - now quite cooled - until she had filled it halfway, then poured a small amount onto the hot stones. There was a sizzling hiss as clouds of steam billowed out of the bucket, and at her back she heard Fenella's wet cough. She did it a second time, and a third, until the sharp medicinal scent from the resin filled the small room. 

For a good quarter-bell there was no sound save those steady hissing noises and a little girl’s coughing-- and then there was the soft rustle of moving cloth. Edythe startled with a gasp, and Aurelia watched as she moved quickly to her daughter's bedside. 

Fenella was trying to push herself upright.

"Mummy?" she rasped. She was still wheezing, but her breathing was already beginning to clear somewhat. Certainly she sounded less worrisome now than she had when Aurelia had first arrived.

"Nellie," Edythe nearly sobbed, wrapping her arms around her child. "Nellie, I was so worried-"

"I'm all right, Mum. I’m cold. And my head hurts. But my chest feels better." Fenella gave Aurelia a slow, owlish blink. "Are you the chur- chi-"

"Chirurgeon," she said gently. "Aye, I am."

"Why does it smell like pine needles?"

"That's the steam, love. There's medicine in it that will help your cough."

Edythe was staring at Aurelia like she'd performed a magic trick. 

"I thought we'd have to have her bled. Or call on the church to send a healer," she said. "How did you know what to do? I've never seen a chirurgeon do that before."

It's an old Garlean folk remedy, she didn't say. "I used to catch these same lung agues when I was Fenella's age, and my own mother always put me in the bath with a steam of camphorwood resin to help me breathe. I'd advise it be repeated every four bells or so for the next couple of days. I'll go out in a moment to fetch more resin cakes and kindling for your fire. Willowbark tincture, too, for the fever-"

"Oh," Edythe said, visibly distressed, face falling, "I don't have enough gil."

"You don't need to worry about that." Aurelia would probably be able to find her some good quality camphorwood resin, too, if she went to the Crozier. Not that she planned to tell Edythe that; there was no point in making her feel guilty about it. "Just show your sister how to prepare the water and the stones, and remind her she must pour slowly and carefully. If you pour too much water too quickly, the treatment won't be as effective. The room should be full of the steam for a good quarter bell."

Edythe nodded, arms still about her daughter's thin shoulders, rocking slowly. She looked as though she were about to cry.

"I don't know why you're helping us, my lady," she said, her voice unsteady. "Fine healers from the Pillars don't much care about what happens to the likes of us- they want patients who can pay them, you see. I thought we'd-"

Her voice broke. Smiling, Aurelia reached for her shoulder and gave it a light squeeze.

"I'm helping you because I want to help; it's really no trouble at all. If Miss Fenella here doesn't start feeling more like herself in a day or two - if she still has a fever, if her cough worsens - go to the Forbidden Knight and ask for Gibrillont. Tell him I gave you his name and have him send for me, and I'll come as soon as I'm able."

"Aye. Aye, I will. Gladly." For the first time since she'd set foot in the door, Edythe gave her a small and tremulous smile. "I think the heavens must have sent you to us, my lady. May the Fury and all Her saints bless you."

Feeling slightly embarrassed, Aurelia made her excuses and slipped out the door, exhaling a small white cloud into the chilly air. She wanted to finish this errand quickly and get back to the manor before aught else was said. Fenella would be fine, of course, a nasty chest cold could be kept from getting worse with bed rest and a simple steam treatment to clear the airway.

But that sort of talk... well.  If the church found out the smallfolk were saying that sort of thing about her, even over something so basic as a home remedy, she doubted the archbishop would be so willing to let it lie. It was most like he didn't believe that the Scions of the Seventh Dawn were strong enough to pose a threat to his power, but-

No point in worrying about it now. Best go get the resin for her before the markets close.

Cinching her heavy coat snug about her willowy frame, Aurelia began her walk back towards the plaza.

[zeebeewasntfree]

DREAM SMP RECAP

if this is a spoiler i stg you need to catch up lmao/j

mexican l’manberg is now EL RAPIDSSS

george didn’t really care about being king

ghostbur chills in cedar rapids

now...sad...

okay so ghostbur gave tommy a compass titled “Your Tubbo” and tubbo a compass titled “Your Tommy” both compasses lead them to each other. and yesterday’s stream (12/7/2020, tubbo) tubbo went to tommy’s island exile place, he told ghostbur that he regrets exiling tommy, he even threw some blue into lava for tommy. then once tommy heard word that tubbo was there he looked so upset bc he wasn’t online. he wanted to see his tubbo... his tubbox! ALSO in tubbos stream while playing chess with dream he asked if tommy could have visitation rights, dream said “maybe. definitely in at least a couple of weeks.”

i’m now gonna do a quick bit that i thought of in the shower :) THIS IS NOT A SHIP POST (tw/// suicide):

it’s been months of exile and tommy was at his breaking point, he missed seeing all his friends, especially his best friend. tubbo. days and days went on and tommy hadn’t got a wink of sleep. it was time for the daily routine to begin.

dream taking all of tommy’s well earned materials

blowing them up

going into the nether.

this day however, was gonna be different. tommy sat at the edge of the bridge gazing down upon the bright, hot lava below him. “dream. place and ender chest, please.” dream did so after asking questions. tommy then grabbed his discs. “i’ve lost everything dream. there’s nothing left.”

“what are you talking-“ tommy handed his prized discs to dream. “just... make sure tubbos okay...” dream shook his head, as he grabbed tommy’s shirt “it’s not your time.”

“don’t you see?! it is my time, dream.! i cant keep living like this. i need to go home! i need to see tubbo and l’manberg.! henry’s grave... pogtopia... but if i even get near that portal... you’ll kill me...”

just then ghostbur appeared from the portal “tommy! you’re standing offaly close to the edge... what’s... what’s going on? do you need some blue?”

“no wilbur... i don’t need blue.”

“oh! you need your tubbo! i’ll be right back!” ghostbur then left back through the portal, leaving tommy and dream alone once again. tommy stared hopefully at the portal for a long while before looking back down at the void below, his compass in hand. “dream...”

“tommy.”

“i really fucking hate you.” he said jumping. dream didn’t react. he looked at the portal. “tommy!” tubbo just got through and without hesitation jumped after his best friend. they hugged as they fell. “i’m sorry tubbo i love you.”

“i’m sorry too... i love you tommy...”

ghostinnit and tubghost... died together.

[rev-1832]

please for the love of all fuck explain mcyt to me

Omg I've been waiting for this

So mcyt means minecraft youtube, but usually also includes Twitch streamers. It's like a in general thing, and not pointing to anything specific

But since you sound so confused, I'm gonna explain to you the Dream SMP lore 'cause why not

TL;DR: Chaos and war, basically also like a hamilton, heathers, and les mis crossover (but i mean if you want to understand everything you should read.)

If theres spelling mistakes, sorry

Note: Everyone on the smp has three canon lives, and when you loose all three you're canonically dead (except philza minecraft. he has one canon life bc hes known as the hardcore guy bc he had a minecraft hardcore series for 6 years until he was killed by a spider while trying to fight a baby zombie lmaoooooo)

IMPORTANT: THIS IS ALL RP. IRL THEY’RE ALL FRIENDS. THERES A DIFFERENCE BETWEEN THE PLAYER AND THE CHARACTER. THE RELATIONSHIPS AREN’T ACTUALLY TOGETHER IRL. ITS ALL THEIR CHARACTERS THAT THEY MADE UP. (obviously the best friends stuff are irl)

In the beginning there were 8: The Dream Team (Dream, Georgenotfound [the guy in my pfp btw :)] , Sapnap), Badboyhalo, Awesamdude, Ponk, Callahan, and Alyssa. Around this time, nothing much happened since it was all brand new, uhh yeah (this was around may-july of this year)

Then around late july new members joined: Tommyinnit, Tubbo, Wilbur Soot, Eret, Skeppy, Fundy, Punz, Purpled, and Schlatt. This part is very important to the lore, because the lore kinda started off with the british (so tommy, tubbo, wilbur, eret) Schlatt was banned, cause Sapnap was the one who invited him and Dream didn't know who he was. He'll come up later.

So Wilbur and Tommy decided to create a new nation called "L'Manberg". Also around this time (i think) Nihachu and Jack Manifold joined. They also were part of L'Manberg. There was this huge revolution between Dream Smp and L'Manberg. Very historical period on this smp. In the end, (i think it was?) L'Manberg who won (if memory serves).

After that, L'Manberg had started growing bigger, with a lot more buildings added and stuff, notably Church Prime, which where they created a religion for Twitch Prime, which is how you can sub to your favorite twitch streamer for free if you link your amazon prime account. I'm pretty sure around this time, Quackity, Karl Jacobs (if you watch Mr. Beast; yes, that karl jacobs), HBomb, Technoblade, and Antfrost joined. And then the railway war started. It happened when Tommy accidentally ran over Dream with a Minecart and then took his stuff. This is how the disc war started (once again, if memory serves). The two discs Tommy owns are his prized possesions, and Dream took them. Also around this time the Pet War started, with Sapnap killing someones(i forgot oops) pet. And then more pet killing. Annnnd then even more.

Then there was the L'Manberg eletion. There was POG2020, who was Wilbur and Tommy, SWAG2020, Quackity and George, Coconut2020, Fundy and Nihachu, and Schlatt2020 which was Schlatt. Oh yeah and he got unbanned btw

SWAG2020 and Schlatt2020 decided to combine their votes, thus Shclatt became president and Quackity his vp. Oh and ever since the election Quackity has this grudge against George bc he slept through the election. Schlatt renamed L'Manberg to Manberg, and exiled Tommy and Wilbur from it.

Schlatt is a evil dictator who likes power. He and Quackity started fighting, and so Quackity became part of Tommy and Wilbur's side. Around this time was The Battle of the Lake and The Burning Eiffel Tower, both part of the pet war. (It seems like a innocent war but its actually brutal lmao) Also (irl) Mr. Beast had a $10,000 Taco Bell gift card hunt. Eret won. It was at the cords 6969,420, because haha funny number haha weed number. This has nothing to do with the lore but yeah. Eret also became King of the SMP 

Then there was the Manberg festival. It was to celebrate democracy, but Tubbo puts it as "i decorated my own execution" bc he helped decorate it, but he was murdered there. At the festival was the Manberg Massicare, where Technoblade was forced to shoot tubbo, but he released a firework rocket kiling Tubbo, Schlatt, Quackity, and a few others. Many people lost one of their canon lives. Wilbur went all J.D like and planted 11 stacks of TNT underneath Manberg, and wanted to blow it up.

Pogtopia was formed, which is a ravine which i think is underneath? manberg? Which included basically everybody who wasn't neutral or with schlatt. On November 16 was the Manberg VS Pogtopia war, but the Badlands were also there. The Badlands is a nation of four people: Bbh, Skeppy, Awesamdude, and Antfrost. They faught with the loosing side, so the chaos could continue. Eret disobeyed Dream and got stripped of his royalty, and gave it to George. Oh and during this time, George had no idea there was a war and was building a cottagecore mushroom house with callahan and was very confused with all the death messages in the chat. Schlatt died canonically of a heart attack or stroke (no one knows tbh). Tommy became president, passed it to wilbur bc he still has unfinished buissness with dream (the discs), and wilbur passed it to Tubbo, who made Tommy his vp. Technoblade then argued about how government is bad, and they're just repeating history. Philza Minecraft joined the server, but no one could find him, until Wilbur blew up L'Manberg (they rechanged the name also). Wilbur then made Philza kill him, so Wilbur also became canonically dead. Then Techno, still mad at L'Manberg and governments, summoned two withers and made it attack the others. The Geogre decided to check out what was happening and helped fight. After the chaos, Captain Puffy and ConnorEatsPants joined the smp. About one to two weeks later Vikkstar and LazarBeam joined, then about three months after that Ranboo joined.

They rebuilt L'Manberg on stilts, and there water where the explosion was, but now with coral and stuff to make it all pretty. Tommy and Ranboo decided to go steal from Georges mushroom house, but then also griefed it and burnt it, and Dream, being a George simp, built obsidian walls around L'Manberg. They took Tommy to court, and was put on probation. Then Tommy got exiled (again) but this time by his own best friend. This made Quackity vp and Fundy secutary of state. Dream also took Georges king thing and gave it back to Eret because Eret has a good relationship with everybody, whereas George being King just caused chaos cause hes close to Dream. Quackity and Karl made Mexican L'Manberg, and George and Sapnap joined in also. War against Dream SMP, it was a negotiation and it got renamed into El Rapids (reference to Chilling in Cedar Rapids, which Hilary Clinton once said, and Quackity referenced it, got it trending #1 one twitter (well i mean dsmp gets things trending like everyday but), and got DONALD TRUMP TO SUBTWEET HIM. (This happened irl)

In his exile, Ghostbur (wilbur as ghost) and Tommy made Logstedshire, and Dream was often there to watch him. Dream then blew it up, and now Tommy is living with Techno in his arctic place. Currently, Quackity made a thing called The Butcher Army, so they could execute Techno. Tubbo, Quackity, Fundy, and I also think Ranboo? are trying to get another festival, and yes its a secret execution plan, but for them to kill Dream, who they realized is who they need to kill first. The disc war is still not over. Tommy has one of his discs, but Skeppy is in possesion of the other one.

Unluckily for Tommy (reguarding the discs), something happened in the Badlands. Bbh was digging out his underground statue room (he plans to make a statue of everyone of the server) and found this crimson egg. He, Antfrost, and Captain Puffy kinda got possesed. Also since Skeppy didn't really hang out on the server at night, but bbh does (OF FUCK I FORGOT TO MENTION HE AND BBH ARE BEST FRIENDS) Captain Puffy created Discount Skeppy, which is her in a Skeppy skin. Skeppy found out, had a little conflict with her during her stream, but it was resolved, and at one point in the stream, he asked bbh to choose between him and the egg, and when bbh didn't answer, he went to the egg, put himself inside it, and logged off. Couple days later, bbh and puffy got him out, hes now possed by the crimson, called Technoblade his "best friend" infront of bbh, and is now living in a grass hut. Bad is convinced theres still some skeppt left, but yeah. Skeppy also wanted to burn the disc.

End of lore for now, bc its like if you miss ONE STREAM YOU MISS LIKE A REALLY IMPORTANT EVENT AND ITS STRESSFUL

Not much part of lore but Nihachu and Captain Puffy once went on a date. They’re both bi irl and Puffy was on Nihachu’s Love or Host (twitch dating show. its really entertaining) Captain Puffy was a contestant, and chose love. (LoH is also how Nihachu and Wilbur met.) 

Funfact: Theres 5 irl lgbtq+ ppl on the server (people who came out, anyways cause you never know, ya know?) Antfrost is gay, Eret, Nihachu, Captain Puffy are all bi, and Karl Jacobs is ace spec 

Family stuff: Philza Minecraft (he'll come up later) had two twins with a Samsung Smart Refrigerator in the 70's. The two twins being Wilbur and Technoblade (he'll come up later also) and also had another son, Tommy. They also adopted Tubbo, who they found in a box on the side of the road. When he grew up, Wilbur met Sally the Salmon, and they had a fox together (dont ask just go with it), which was Fundy. (The character) Fundy is trans, and yeah . Bbh is a dad to sapnap and yeah

Oh and a new member is coming on today on Quackity’s stream (twitch.tv/quackityhq at 5pm CST if you want to watch) 

I left out some parts, sorry, but theres always the wiki...

Wilbur Soot is also a musician! He wrote I’m In Love With an Egirl, The Internet Ruined Me, and Your New Boyfriend. (did you know the last one beat taylor swift for #1 trending on youtube? idk why but im really proud of him for that) They’re all catJam’s. Go listen!

[dreamsbff]

not to be that person but i miss quackity’s horror game streams. like i miss watching him experiencing anxiety tummy aches, and watching him do his dumb coping mechanisms like singing or pretending to be morgz or david dobrik or hilary clinton chilling in cedar rapids, and i miss him getting mad at chat because he’s scared or pausing just to ask us what to do because he’s attempted the same thing ten times already and i miss him getting donations and going “i’m going to beat this for you”.

[iicraft505]

okay maybe it’s just the benefit of physical distance and the fact that i’m ignoring the political aspects but hilary clinton trying to be hip with the kids like in “i’m just chilling in cedar rapids” is actually.. dare i say it.. cute? like obviously i’m sure there’s political shit I’m missing that makes it worse but why did we decide that all old people and/or politicians etc trying to be hip with the kids was cringe and stupid

[myrandom-fandomlife]

I just put it together that it’s el rapids bc of the chilling in Cedar Rapids thing

Hi I’m a dumbass

[corvid-420]

AOC could have named her animal crossing island “Cedar Rapids” and posted her animal crossing info with the caption “i’m just chilling in Cedar Rapids” and americans will still be like, “wow, a socialist” both as an insult and as praise and both will be wrong in their own ways. sheer ideology!