#I’ll take like exactly one person asking for me to drop the playlist lmao

[ghosts-and-glory]

Soo what does the lamb thing or nari after they kill him a second time and indoctrinate him? is this like an enemies to lovers situation or toxic yaoi?

Yes, yes both. I think the best I can answer this is reveal the title of my no devotion narilamb playlist lmao.

[theglowyscorpio]

all set | eren x reader

a/n: this is a story in the making, currently available at AO3 and Wattpad. If you like it, please don't hesitate to give me some kudos, leave a comment or maybe follow me on my social media! <3 Any feedback is highly appreciated since I'm just getting started!

pairing: eren yeager x female reader

tags: mature content, alternate universe (modern setting), college/university, recreational drug use, implied sexual content, M/F, F/F, the author is not religious lmao

word count: 4.3k

current chapters: 2/?

playlist: this one was made with a particular playlist in mind. they are really great songs that help to convey this chapter, so I hope you have a time to check them out! :)

a. slomosa - kevin b. upsahl - drugs c. rosenfeld - like u d. kaiba - overdose e. lil kapow - tinman f. bodega - how did this happen!?

***

all set

I lost count of how many parties I went to this week. There was one at Shina, another at... Sasha's. Wait, was it? Or Ymir's? Honestly, both their houses look fairly similar and we always see the same faces over and over again, regardless of where we are getting wasted. Definitely two at my house. The timeline is blurry at this point. If my liver could talk, it would spit out "Screw you, Eren." and I wouldn't be able to disagree.

Classes will start next week so everyone is acting like we're going to stop doing all this for the rest of the semester. That never happens.

I barely enter Reiner's house and the music is already piercing my head. My ears will soon tell me to go screw myself too. The bass was loud. But it was good.

— Hey, finally — Reiner says, giving a hard slap in my back. I can't even get mad at him because he probably didn't mean for it to hurt. Fucking strong bastard.

— Sorry. Lost track of time.

— You know where the things are — he leaves me behind and disappears through the noisy music.

It's hot inside. August has been particularly cruel this year. I'm using a black t-shirt, which is luckily pretty thin, and my black Adidas pants that are somewhat breathable. My hair is in a bun. I will probably be sweating soon, though. Reiner's AC won't do miracles with this amount of people since it is specially packed today. I guess I might see some new faces tonight, huh.

This fact already makes things more interesting.

I walk through the room and then arrive in the kitchen. Connie and Sasha are there.

— Eren!! — I barely open my mouth to talk and Sasha is already giving me whatever weird drink they made. Their drinks sometimes are... unusual, for the lack of a better word. Most of the time they are simply pure shit. They call it scout's fuel, always the same name regardless of what's inside. Maybe that's why my liver hates me so much.

— Thanks — I'm already used to the goddamn gasoline taste — I guess you both want to get us wasted tonight.

— It's our personal mission, so enjoy the fuel — Connie says laughing, raising his plastic cup. I love this duo – who doesn't? – and I can't help but laugh with them, even though it tastes so bad — Everyone is already here, come on — I follow them and find all the familiar faces I've seen all week: Bertholdt, Historia, Ymir, Mikasa, Annie, Armin, Jean, everyone.

The girls look hot, even though I'm used to them. Either way, I avoid hooking up with my friends since the last time didn't work so well. It's better to avoid Mikasa today.

We all sit together while drinking. I light a joint I had already prepared at home and say — Am I crazy or is Reiner's party bigger than usual? —, releasing the smoke a few seconds after. This one is the best grass we could get around our area, I've saved it primarily for today and now I see that might have been a great decision on my part. I'm glancing through the room and looking for some girls, might share this shit with one - or a few - of them later.

— Thank god, I was tired of seeing your ugly faces every fucking time — Jean says. The girls look at him and he rushes to add — I mean, the boys, of course. It's always nice looking at all of you, ladies.

It's not enough to avoid Annie's kick anyway — We can say the same of you, horse face.

Reiner arrives at the perfect time and explains — Since the new semester starts Monday, news about today traveled fast and we got a lot more company than usual.

— Do you know all of them, Reiner? — Historia asks — I've talked to a bunch of them tonight and there are people from all over the campus and from all years as well — Historia always looks pretty, her blonde hair shining even in the low light of the party. Guys make a line to talk to her at all parties so there's no surprise that she's already familiarized with the whole scenario. I wonder what Ymir thinks of it. Probably followed her during this little field trip.

— Hell, no — he grabs the joint of my hand and sucks deeply — I know some of them and some are Bertholdt's friends but there are some random people.

— I bet Reiner knows a lot of the girls — I take my joint back from his fingers — I assume they aren't Bertholdt's friends, though — and grin.

— Hey, I don't see you with any new company either, dude — Bertholdt tries to grab my weed as well, but I avoid his advances. He instead grabs my cup and drinks all of it, leaving me empty. He makes a funny face at the taste. Suit yourself, man, I think to myself, laughing on the inside.

— Yeah, but I'll work on it in a sec — I tease him knowing that he can't handle much of Sasha and Connie's fuel. He always knocks out before everyone. I hope he realizes he needs to stay awake to try anything with Annie. Someday. He simply never gets there.

Hange arrives almost falling over Ymir and spilling her drink on the floor in the process — I think we should all make a toast and make this last party a wild ride!!! — her yelling stabbing us louder than the music.

— Bitch, you are this fucking drunk already? — Ymir says to her, holding Hange's weight on her back — What the hell did the gasoline duo do to you?

— Okay okay, enough with the questions, let me fill your cups because this is the night! — Sasha says, just pouring all that mystery liquid that soon will go straight to our heads — Also, Reiner, where's the food?

We raise our plastic cups and Connie yells — To the new semester! — and we drink, feeling the immediate burn on our throats. It's hard being a scout.

— I need to get laid today — Jean says as he lays his back on the couch — Gonna arrive for the classes pretty motivated next week — he then rests his left arm at the back pillow, behind Mikasa's head.

— You should start roaming, then — her cold delivery puts Jean's subtle attempt at flirting six feet under the ground, as usual. It was pretty damn quick, but I could notice Mikasa glancing at me and then looking the other way. Yeah, I think I need to start roaming soon, too.

— That sounds great, then let's do that!!! — Hange grabs Jean by the arm and they disappear amongst the crowd.

— When all this fun ends, I'll be the one who will probably have to take him home after he gets slapped by some girls — Armin and Jean live with me so we normally go back together. Armin is the responsible one between us, which is not exactly hard considering how Jean and I are — Gonna at least drink some beer before that happens.

— I'll go with you, this drink sucks — Annie says, finishing the drink anyway and following him. We always drink the last drop of it, we never learn.

The girls went dancing, the music was exceptionally good today. A lot of bands I already liked plus some I have never heard before. I need to remember to ask Reiner for this playlist later. Connie was already surrounded by a different group, everyone likes to talk to him. He is popular. The rest dispersed as well and I could hear Hange's screams far away. This is going to be a night for her, indeed.

I start walking around, meeting a lot of people from my classes and others from the campus in general. I talk to all of them and drink a lot in the process, which feeds my need for nicotine every time. I grab my pack of cigarettes and while smoking, I see Levi.

— I must be dreaming — I say, letting the smoke leave my lips with a smile. It reaches him and looks at me with a deadly expression. He is smoking as well, but he only admits one specific brand of cigarettes and hates all the others. Levi usually doesn't show up at these "brat" parties, as he likes to say, since he's a few years older than us. I normally see him at Shina's, which is a popular club slash bar near our university. He's the owner so we all met him there, after going so many times. Shina has the best parties and the best drinks of all the clubs near us. And it couldn't be any other way, since Levi is a perfectionist. There's also a small stage there, where indie bands perform from time to time. My band does some gigs there sometimes.

— Hey — he replies, as cold as ever. He's Mikasa's cousin, so they have the same expressions and hard-to-approach vibe — Already high, I see.

— Always. In fact, today I hope to be higher than usual. What miracle brings you here?

— Some people from the staff decided to come here today so there are fewer brats to piss me off — he drinks what's probably a high priced whiskey and continues — and there's a new girl at the club so we have been showing her the area for a few weeks now.

— There's a lot of new girls here today — although I know Levi doesn't give a crap.

— So? — yeah, he doesn't.

Levi is a pretty successful business owner and even I have to admit that he's hot – is not only common knowledge but a mutual agreement between everyone –, so girls are always trying to get him, but he doesn't screw most of them. He doesn't fuck brats, period. He says he doesn't have the patience. That makes the girls even more desperate. He has the highest standards of every guy I know. When he was still in university – the same we all go –, he screwed not only the hottest girls but also the professors - which went after him and not the other way around. At least that's what I've heard. I think Levi never had to actively look for any girl, to be honest.

I can only laugh at his reply. That's just so him.

— If you want more stuff than what's already in your system, Floch is over there.

— I want, actually. I was going to look for him — I see Floch's red hair among some folks. Floch is usually as busy as Connie but with less than half of the charisma.

He finishes his cigarette, blowing its last white smoke into the air, and we both hear a loud HELL YEAH!! coming from all the other way across the room — Tsk, is that Hange?

— Pfft, it was before, I think it's Sasha now — he doesn't laugh at my reply. He never does. I think hell would freeze while heaven catches on fire.

I think about the music again. It's so good today, what the hell — Hey Levi, don't you think this playlist is too high quality for a Reiner party? I don't get it, his music taste is always pure trash.

— That's from our new girl — he drinks the last drops of his whiskey and starts to leave — You might find her around here — he then suddenly stops and looks at me — Don't get your hopes up, though.

I am not able to ask what he meant by that because he leaves too quickly. Time to look for Floch.

— Hey, Flo-

— Here.

— You didn't even let me finish.

— I know what you want. You are not in the mood for cocaine so you want MD instead, blah-blah-blah-blah. Is that kind of night — he pauses for mere seconds — Am I wrong, Eren?

— Nope, right as usual — Floch is the main person you go to when you need drugs. I mean, good drugs. He looks like your standard rich boy – which he is, by the way – that can do no wrong, but you can get the best stuff from him. I've always found this funny. The weed I have today was his work. He knows my taste well.

Reiner's frat house is huge, so there's plenty of room to walk. I'm approached by a bunch of girls on the way but for some reason, none of them piques my interest. I am pretty set on going after something new today and I have no problem getting laid. It happened every single day this week and it truly happens anytime I want. Which, okay, boosts my ego a little bit. Maybe a lot. I might even have hurt some girls in the process. I was never slapped though, unlike Jean. So that's a win in my book.

I see a few of my friends again, mainly Historia and Reiner, and they are talking to a girl I've never seen before.

She has long black hair and short messy bangs, the kind that goes a little above the eyebrows. I didn't know black hair was my thing until now. Her face has the perfect features, at least for me. She's wearing a sleeveless white top that is so tight that hugs her figure perfectly and makes her breasts look amazing. That type of top that shows the girl's side boob, and I'm a total sucker for those. It is also short so you can see a bit of her waist. And I don't even have to see her ass because I already know it is probably too damn good. Her light blue ripped jeans are cool as well and she has black sneakers. I like her style. She has a bunch of tattoos - a lot on her right arm, one on her left hand, and probably some that I couldn't see because they were behind her clothes. I intended to, though.

Fuck, she's hot.

Historia looks mesmerized talking to her, which is a very privileged view from where I stand because, as I've already said before, she is also beautiful. But she isn't exactly hot. This girl is. Way too much. Oh, and Reiner is there too. Whatever.

I can see a lot of guys want to approach her but none of them do. I went for it. Wasn't this night supposed to be wild?

— Hey, Eren! Guess what, Y/N is the new DJ at Shina! I was telling her how we go there all the time.

— Hi, Eren, nice to meet you — she says, with that kind of smile that people who know they are hot make. I do that too.

— Hey, Y/N — I say. And as I told you seconds before, I'm good with that type of smile as well so that's what she gets — Levi told me he came with the staff and a new girl, so I suppose that's you.

— Yeah, I'll start there next week.

— I talked to him about the party's playlist because I knew it couldn't be Reiner's.

— Yeah, it's Y/N's. She prepared it for the party when I invited the guys from Shina yesterday. We were in the same high school. — Reiner says that looking at me with a face that shows "See that, dickhead? I've known her for some years now".

— It's pretty good! I can't wait for the next party at Shina's to see your set! — Historia was always an angel.

REINER, WHERE'S THE REST OF THE ICE, MAN??, someone screamed far away.

— Shit. Catch up with you later, Y/N.

Too bad, huh, Reiner? He gives me a look that I can't quite figure out what it is, but I know for sure it wasn't a look of support. In the fucking slightest.

— I think Ymir is calling me as well, sorry!! — It was painfully obvious that Ymir wanted to make out with Historia for some time now. They never did. I think only Historia hasn't realized yet that Ymir is thirsty for her for god knows how long.

After Historia left, there was only me and her — So, by any chance, do you go to the same university as us? You look our age but Levi said you are new here — I tried asking this without looking at her body, but looking at her face was even worse. Her eyes were piercing me in the best way possible.

— I'm not exactly new, I'm from the same uni as you guys, but I took a gap year — she takes a sip of her drink — You probably never met me but I'm in the same year as you all are now.

Since Reiner knew her from high school, he also knew she was at the same university all along and never told any of the guys. Smart fucker.

— So that makes you a year older than me — I smirk at her.

— I guess it does — she smirks back as she lights up a cigarette and blows the smoke at me.

Ok, looking good so far.

I'm pretty high at this point, the MD and the music are making me horny, so I don't even bother to pretend that I'm not looking at her body. I'm looking at everything.

— You took something, didn't you?

— Do you want some? I can show you later where to get the best stuff. Anything you are in the mood for.

— I'm all set — she shows me her tongue and I see the acid. The view makes my own tongue feel lonely, maybe I should use it to steal that from her mouth. I hope she's horny as well.

We talk a lot about music since it's something that we both enjoy. She's passionate about it, I can tell. She asks about my band with true interest. Doesn't sound like small talk. She touches her hair and it makes me want to stuff my face in it. She has the smile that makes you want more. Her voice has the same effect.

The loud music allows us to talk near each other's ears. I hope she moans as loud as her playlist. The girls usually love my hair for some reason, either if it's in a messy bun as it is right now or if it's loose. They all love my green eyes too. She can see all that with somewhat detail since we are so close, even though it is a little dark here. If I take you to a room you can see me better, I almost blurb it out. I can see her too and that kills me.

She looks receptive to me but normally at this point I would be already hooking up with the girl. This time it isn't happening. I never have to work so much. I think I understand why the other guys didn't approach her before. She's a little intimidating to talk to, and that comes naturally to her – it doesn't seem to be on purpose. I flirt with her the way I normally do but she is hard to get, she hits every ball I throw. I remember what Levi said before. Oh, right.

But I'm vibing way too much at this point, I think if I touch any part of her I'll get hard immediately.

— This gap year you've mentioned... Did you go anywhere specific?

— I know it will sound cliché, but I went to Europe.

— Where in Europe?

— Everywhere — she says — I went down — the corner of her lips forming a smile  — And up. Everywhere. — and I can swear she sounds flirtatious as hell. I want to bite her lip.

— That sounds... Awesome. — I think she wants to bite me too, or at least I hope she does — Was there any particular reason to leave? If that's not too much to ask.

— Hm, I was kinda... — she stops to think for a few seconds as she holds her hair up and makes a ponytail, looking at the ground, the cigarette glued to her now closed lips. Her neck became exposed, it looks soft as hell and I can't wait to bruise it. She releases the smoke, that flows into the room, and looks deep into my eyes, as deep as I want to be inside her right now — ...stressed.

I reach my limit at this point.

— I can help you with the stress if you want.

— Really? — she's looking at me with the same teasing look and I'm doing the same, so we both know that's not a question I have to answer. Her tongue quickly passes through her top lip, her mouth forming a little wet smile — I don't think I need any help though.

I threw the ball and she hit a home run. My team was out.

I was not expecting that.

We hear some of the guys from Shina calling for her — Oh, they are calling me — Y/N looks at me again and says — See you around, Eren — giving me the same fucking grin I wanted to bite before.

She walks away and I see that her ass is, as I suspected from the very beginning, too damn good.

Shit. Shit, shit, shit.

After this, some time has passed. I look at the clock. Yeah, maybe a lot. I couldn't tell before because I'm drunk and drugged. I see most of my friends, all fucking wasted. Armin is holding up pretty well, Bertholdt's is knocked down for God knows how long, Mikasa probably smoked way too much weed (who am I to judge?) and looks dead on the couch. I don't see Ymir, Historia nor Reiner - there are too many people in this house to keep count. Sasha's eating something in the kitchen, I can't see what it is, but certainly, she got hungrier than normal after smoking some pot Connie gave her. Connie always holds his drinks well, he's still talking to a lot of people. I pass in front of one of the bathrooms and Hange is there, getting everything out of her system. Oh, and Ymir. There she is, holding Hange's hair, looking as pissed as ever. Levi probably went home hours ago. Jean is making out with some chick, he's going to score tonight. To be fair, he always does, but never with Mikasa.

I saw a lot of pretty girls today and I went for none of them. They tried and I shut them down, even the ones I normally fuck. There's someone I want to taste tonight and she's nowhere to be found. The guys from Shina are missing too, so I know I won't see her today anymore. Damn.

I'm not pissed at her but I'm pissed at the situation.

— Armin, I think I'm going to take off, are you coming?

— Yeah, I'm already pretty tired — he gets up — Jean's probably going to stay here.

— Yep. Probably. — Am I pissed that Jean's getting laid? Even though I could have as well? With someone else, at least? My mood feels off.

— I'm going with you too, I've lost count of how many assholes I had to shut down today. I think I even punched a few — I don't have to look to know that's Annie speaking — You were right, Eren, is it especially crowded today. In the shittiest way possible.

— Then let's go.

— Wait, I need to get my bag first, I left it in Reiner's room.

— I can get that for you, wait up.

— It's a black one. Small.

I sign a thumbs up for her and climb the stairs. I am hundred percent sure I'm going to see someone fucking there but that's the usual. I'm pretty sure I've already seen some people screwing in the corner of the living room minutes before. No one cares.

I open the door and see Y/N in her underwear, putting her white top back on. She does indeed have other tattoos.

— Hey there! — she says smiling, as she also puts her jeans back up, making little jumps so they pass through her ass. Her hair is not in a ponytail anymore.

I say hi in a confusing way.

— I came here to get my friend's bag — I look around for milliseconds like I don't know where the hell I am until I see Reiner lying - clearly naked - under his sheets. Can't be anyone else, with that bleached hair and huge biceps.

What? Ahn?

Hey... Wait a second.

Historia? Clearly naked as well? What. The. Hell. I guess she's not exactly the angel I thought she was?

They are sort of awake, sort of sleeping, kinda like on a different planet. You know, the type of thing that happens after a really strong fuck? That sort. They look exhausted. They look destroyed. And not in a bad way. AT ALL.

— Oh, I saw a bag before. Here you go — she gives me Annie's bag. She's all dressed now. She notices my confusion, I'm too high to act any other way — I've told you I don't need any help — her eyes piercing mine for the hundredth time tonight. Her smile hurts now. Ouch.

She grabs her sneakers and walks towards me and the door:

— I'm all set.

She leaves the room as I hold Annie's bag.

Yeah. I was not expecting that.

***

Thanks for reading (if there's even anyone here lmao). Chapter 2 will be uploaded later but it can be read now at AO3 or Wattpad.

[buckyskorpion]

11 hours - part five

Pairing: Biker!Bucky x Reader

Summary: bucky is the mystery you can’t wait to solve. if you can get out of his bed long enough, that is. a biker au.

Warnings: gang-typical violence, sex scenes, alcohol mentions, probably more to come so stay tuned

A/N: alright things escalated VERY QUICKLY but shit had to go down sometime. i hope you enjoy! and sorry for the delay, i really been goin thru it recently. this part is 7k to make up for it lmao i wont be taking tags for this so please dont ask.

title taken from 11 hours by wet | playlist | my ko-fi

masterlist

It’s a big day. You had held Bucky’s hand as you stood in the doorway to his apartment, playing with his rings so you didn’t have to meet his eyes. You were nervous, not because you didn’t trust Bucky but because with every secret spilled you felt like a layer of your skin was being peeled away. But you’d held his hand and told him to pick you up tonight from your office. You handed him your business card, a physical embodiment of trust you hadn’t given to anyone else. It wasn’t your apartment address, sure, but it was something and Bucky held the card with the biggest, boyish grin on his face that melted your heart.

The real reason you’re so nervous is because if whoever followed you from Bucky’s apartment is following Bucky, then they’ll follow him right to your office door. You’d had a long talk to yourself in the bathroom mirror the other night, however, and decided you weren’t going to let a hypothetical stalker ruin yet another relationship for you. Not that stalkers are common in your life, but using any excuse to distance yourself and cut people out is most definitely your regular MO. Not this time.

That being said, stalkers aren’t common in your life so you are, understandably, fixated by it. You are sure it has something to do with Bucky because you don’t believe in coincidences and the guy literally followed you from Bucky’s apartment. The big question is, was the stalker after Bucky or were they after you? Since you have next to nothing to go on, you aren’t exactly on your way to answering that one yet. But you’ll get there, eventually, and you’ve got some ideas.

In the meantime, you wait for Bucky and attempt to tidy your organised mess. He’s meant to show up at seven on his bike, but seven is going on eight and he’s yet to show. You try not to picture the worst or convince yourself you’re being stood up, even though that’s what it feels like. The one time you give out personal details and he doesn’t show. That would be your luck. You kick a filing drawer closed a bit too harshly, the metal clanging loud in your deafeningly silent office. Whatever. It’s not like anyone is left in the building to judge you because Bucky is over an hour late and every other office in the place is long empty.

You water your desperately dry indoor plants, even the one on top of your bookshelf - a testament to how hard you’re trying to distract yourself from the imminent heartbreak. You stand on tiptoes on your swivel chair to reach the crispy fern, something your dad would yell at you for if he could see you, but he can’t so you just pray the wheels don’t slip out from under you. It’s a very precarious precision for you to be in when someone bangs your office door open and stumbles inside, that’s for sure. You nearly break your entire body falling from the chair, but catch yourself on the bookcase before any real damage can be done.

The invader slams the door shut behind them, making you flinch once again as you spin around to face your would-be attacker. Only it's not someone breaking and entering - it’s Bucky, panting heavily and bleeding from his temple while he turns slowly on his heel and assesses every corner of your tiny office for threats.

“Bucky?” you call out, hesitant to approach and startle him incase it’s not your office that he’s seeing. His dog tags hang out the neck of his t-shirt when they’re usually always carefully tucked under the fabric, and you notice now he’s not just bleeding from his head but somewhere under that shirt as well. He looks over at your voice and it takes a second for him to focus properly on you, shoulders visibly slumping, closing the space in three quick strides.

“I’m so sorry,” he says, pulling you bodily into a crushing hug. You wrap your arms around his waist, carefully holding him in case he’s got even more injuries you can’t see, but he squeezes you so tight you find it hard to breathe. He has one arm around your shoulders, that hand tangled in your hair and he presses your head into his shoulder. You feel him nose into the hair at the crown of your head, breathe in deep, let it out in shudders.

“You’re hurt,” you say into his t-shirt, and he shakes his head while still pressing his face into your scalp.

“M’fine, s’just blood,” he mumbles, barely coherent, so you let it go for the moment. You let him hold you and you hug him back, splaying your palms flat against his back and pressing him impossibly closer to you.

Eventually, you peel yourself from him in order to give him a once over. He smiles down at you like he’s amused, but you hardly find the situation funny when Bucky’s blood is literally all over you, now. You take his hand and make him sit on your swivel chair, spinning uselessly in the middle of the room from where it slid out from under you and rolled away. There’s a first aid kit in a box near the window, because you can never be too careful, and you take to soaking gauze in alcohol solution instead of speaking. You don’t trust what would come out of your mouth right now, anyway.

Luckily, Bucky fills the silence for you. He bites his lip as he looks over at you, taking in the tense set of your shoulders and jerky movements as you dig around for bandages. Then he says, “I got caught up, I really am sorry.”

You nod, but you still don’t speak. Instead you grab your supplies and move over to Bucky, avoiding his eyes as you assess the one wound you can see. Bucky has a thin cut from the corner of his eye to his hairline, shallow but bleeding profusely due to the thin skin there. You suck in a deep breath and start dabbing the soaked gauze on the wound, outside to inside, watching as the white turns coppery red with every swipe. Your stomach twists at the sight, and to your horror, you find you could almost cry.

“Doll,” Bucky says, eyebrows creasing up as if he’s just as upset as you feel. He hooks one big hand around your thigh, tugging until you let him manhandle you onto his lap. “I mean it, I didn’t mean to keep you waiting.”

“I don’t care that you were late,” you snap, clenching your jaw until you can get your flash of frustration under control. You drop your hand from his face, curling up further onto Bucky’s lap despite yourself as his arms come round to hug you to his chest. His bloodstained, most likely injured chest. You take a deep breath and ask, “What happened?”

“You wanna know?” Bucky asks. When you finally meet his eyes he doesn’t seem to be shutting down, shutting you out like you expect when it comes to talking about Bucky’s biker lifestyle. He just looks sad, and you let yourself soften just a bit to run your fingers down his jaw.

Bucky’s eyes flutter closed when you touch him, and you say, “I already told you - I just wanna know. No secrets.”

“No secrets,” Bucky affirms, smiling as he opens his eyes again. The corners are tight, though, as he starts to explain. “One of the things we do - the gang, y’know - is run protection details. Me and Sam were on it, supposed to be a simple job, but we got shitty intel and ended up having to fight our way out of a crappy spot. We got out, finished the job, but it definitely didn’t go to plan. ”

“Protection for what?” you ask. This is the most open Bucky has ever been when talking about his gang, so you’re not going to pass up this opportunity for a bit more information.

“For who,” Bucky corrects, smiling at you like he knows what you’re doing. He starts stroking up and down your shoulder blades as he talks, soothing the both of you it seems. “Rich businessmen, low-level politicians, mob affiliates - anyone who’s got a target on their back and need to get from point A to point B. They’re easy jobs for us ex-army guys and they pay well.”

“Better pay than fixing cars, I bet,” you say. Your attempt at levity works and Bucky grins. The way it makes his face turn young and open is so at odds with the trickle of blood down his cheek.

“Gotta be able to pay for your drinks somehow,” he says, and you slap his shoulder. He mock-winces and says, “Hey! I’m bleeding, ya gotta be nice to me.”

“Don’t gotta do shit,” you mumble, reminding you to press the gauze you’re still holding back on the wound on his temple to stem some of the bleeding. He hisses for real this time, the sting of the alcohol probably burning a bit, especially so close to his eye. You press a kiss to his cheek and in apology and Bucky hums, tightening his grip around your body to hold you close again.

“M’sorry I ruined our night,” he says, “I wish I could promise it won’t happen again, but I can’t.”

“Don’t be sorry,” you say, and he meets your eyes, slightly confused. You smile and say, “Not when you’re hurt. I know what I signed up for, I just want you to be ok.”

“What if, one day, I’m not ok?” Bucky asks, serious now, and you take your time before you answer him. His cut is clean of dried blood, and it’s stopped oozing any more. You doubt it’ll get infected so you should bandage it up but you can’t make yourself move from Bucky’s lap. Not just yet.

“I’ll fix you up,” you say. “That’s what we’re doing, right? Taking care of each other.”

Bucky blinks, once, as if allowing your words to download in his brain like a data file. Then he kisses you. He slides a hand up to cradle your head and presses soft, slow kisses to your lips like he’s got all the time in the world. He came storming in like a hurricane but now you’re in the eye, calm and quiet settling over you both as you cup his jaw and kiss into him all the tenderness you're too afraid to say. You mend his bleeding head and adrenaline-addled heart while he soothes your fear. Taking care of each other, and it feels nice to let someone else do that for once.

You know what Bucky is leaving out. The I hurt people admission, the fact he might have killed someone tonight, that the blood on his shirt isn’t just his. You really thought you’d care more - about the not knowing, about the truth of it, about everything. But he’s breathing and alive underneath you, trailing kisses and stubble burn from your mouth to your cheek to your temple, and all of those superfluous details become white noise. You’re surprised to find the simple fact that Bucky is alright is enough to supersede all the gaps you would usually itch to fill.

Bucky spins you both, tucking your legs up closer so you don’t overbalance as he looks around your office in a dizzying circle. A spike of nerves makes you feel sick for a second but Bucky smiles as he looks around, like he’s pleased with this part of your life he’s been able to see, and it makes you feel less afraid.

“This is where the magic happens, huh?” he asks, and you laugh at his teasing. “It’s very normal.”

“What did you expect? Like ‘Sherlock Holmes’ or something?” you ask. Bucky shrugs, mouth twitching like he’s trying not to laugh.

“Maybe,” he says, then squints at you like he’s considering something. “So, no violin?”

“No violin, and no Mrs Hudson. I make my own tea,” you say, grinning up at Bucky even though he’s being stupid.

“Yeah, right,” Bucky snorts, “Pour your own wine, you mean.”

“Are you calling me a drunk?” you gasp, reeling back from Bucky and almost sending yourself off his lap and onto the floor. Bucky grips you tighter, laughing at the offence written all over your face, and then extracts an arm to point meaningfully at the half empty bottle of red by the side of your desk.

“The evidence speaks for itself,” he says. You fold your arms in a huff, if only to have him kiss the top of your head in a silent apology.

“You stick to the gang stuff, I’ll stick to the investigating,” you huff, and Bucky kisses you again until you wipe the frown from your face.

“Alright, smart girl,” he says. He stands, holding you up like it’s nothing and you can’t deny how hot that is, even if he is being condescending to you right now. He sets you down on your feet and smooths out your jacket, the warmth of his hands seeping through the leather as they pass over your shoulders and down your arms. He links his fingers into one of your hands, smiling down at you, and says, “Can we rain check dinner? I think I need a shower.”

Bucky stands unnaturally close to you as you lock up your office and head out, scanning the street while you lock the back door and set the alarm system for the building. He takes your hand wordlessly and leads you to his bike, parked haphazardly on the sidewalk and just begging for a ticket. He hands you a helmet but is looking over your shoulder, not at you, and both of those things are worrying - you’ve never known Bucky to wear a helmet, let alone offer you one. You didn’t know he owned one. You feel fidgety, your skin crawling like you’re being watched, and Bucky must feel it too because he’s a bit rough in manhandling you onto the bike as quickly as possible.

“Bucky,” you say, and he twists around to give you a clinical once over - much like you’d done to him when he’d come to you bloody and breathless. You feel sick to your stomach, guilt and fear twisting in your gut, as you ask, “Do you think someone followed you here?”

Bucky’s face is impassive, but you’d like to think you know him well enough to read the tick by the corner of his eyes as a silent, muttered, shit. He licks his lips and says, “I can’t know the answer to that for sure.”

“But there’s a chance,” you say, and your heart is hammering so loud you barely hear your own voice. If someone finds your office then they find you, and the carefully constructed bubble of anonymity you’ve created is shattered in the space of a second. But you knew that, that’s what Bucky asked you on his couch - will you stay? Knowing Bucky is the antithesis of your comfort zone, will you stay anyway?

“Nothing is going to happen to you,” Bucky says definitively. You scan his eyes for trace of a lie but there is none. Bucky’s jaw is set, and he reaches up to grip your chin and hold your gaze on his, making sure you hear him. “Just like you said - we take care of each other. I’ll always take care of you.”

You let out a shaky breath, one you hadn’t known you’d been holding, and Bucky kisses the trill of fear away. You feel like you’ve dived off a cliff face, Bucky holding your hand all the way down the precipice of trust you’d promised yourself you’d never cross. But Bucky promises he’ll take care of you and god, it’s stupid but you want him to. You want his to be the arms you land in at the end of this free-fall. Even if, given who Bucky is, that’s the most dangerous place to be.

“Speaking of no secrets,” you say, more of mumble into his mouth than anything. Bucky pulls away, adorably puppy-like look of confusion on his face, and your stomach twists with guilt. “Remember the night of the party? At Sam’s bar?”

Bucky nods. He’s twisted uncomfortably on the seat of his bike and the helmet you’ve yet to put on is digging in o your stomach where you’re holding it. This isn’t the best place to be having this conversation but Bucky’s promise has made you brave, and if you don’t go against your own word now you never will. Not once have you ever spilled details of a case before you’d cracked it. This isn’t a case, you have to remind yourself. This is your life.

“That morning, when I left,” you say, omitting the fact it’s the first time you ever used his front door and will most certainly be the last, “someone followed me from your building. I shook them off, but they were waiting for me to leave and I don’t know if they were casing your apartment or if they were there for me, or what. I’m sorry, I should’ve told you, I just-“

“You just what?” Bucky doesn’t sound angry. Worse, he sounds cold. Shut down, clinical, and the way his face has pinched off makes your heart break.

“I didn’t know if I could trust you,” you say, looking down at your lap to avoid the way he’s looking at you like a stranger. Saying it out loud makes it sound so much worse, but it’s the truth and Bucky deserves that at least. “To be honest, I’m still not sure. But I want to. If I’m going to trust anyone, I want it to be you.”

It’s several moments before you’re brave enough to meet Bucky’s eyes again. He is coming back to you slowly, the shutters pulling up from his eyes as confusion seeps out. He scans your face and says, “Usually I would tell you that’s a really stupid idea, but I think you already know that.”

“Stupid ideas are kind of my thing,” you say, and that makes Bucky smile. Relief is bone deep, hits so hard you could slump from the bike in a pile of goo. He’s not mad. In fact, he leans forward in what must be a truly uncomfortable twist to press his forehead against yours and closes his eyes, breathes in deep. You follow suit, so ridiculously relieved you still get to do this while simultaneously trying to control the adrenaline rush from handing over what feels like you’re entire life to someone else.

All your life it feels like it’s always been you versus the world. Your dad raised you that way, to rely on no one but yourself so you can never be let down, not even him. It feels wrong on a cellular level to trust Bucky like you are so blindly doing. Every instinct screams at you to run, to figure this out on your own, that Bucky would normally be one of your main suspects in a regular case. But here you are, showing Bucky all your cards, hoping against hope that you won’t live to regret it.

“No more secrets,” Bucky says, and you nod. You feel his eyelashes tangle with yours as you move, pressed so close like this, and you open your eyes to stare at the veiny lids covering his. “Next time someone follows you, you tell me.”

“Yes sir,” you say, grinning at the warning pinch he gives to your hip.

“Let’s go to the shop,” Bucky says, pulling away from you and turning back to gun his bike to life. “The guys can help us figure this stalker shit out.”

“The guys?” you ask, and your chest does something painfully restrictive at the thought of letting more people in. “As in, everyone? Like, your gang?”

Bucky laughs, like the way you say ‘gang’ is so goddamn amusing, and throws you one last look over his shoulder. You tug the helmet on as he revs the bike, suddenly regretting every other time you’ve gotten on this thing without one, as Bucky says, “Yeah, doll, my gang. That’s kinda the whole point - we help each other out.”

You hadn’t really thought of it like that before. Truthfully, your mind had been filled with shady drug deals and bloody fights, turf wars and tattoos and angry men on bikes. Bucky’s friends and the nights you’ve spent with them seem like a different world, the joy and love entirely removed from the illegal life Bucky leads outside of your reach, but you have to remind yourself - they’re one and the same. Your Bucky cannot be removed from the biker you’ve been kept seperate from.

Clinging to Bucky’s waist, you say, “Sounds very after school special for a gang, tough guy.”

You can practically see Bucky grinning just by looking at the back of his head as takes off, the streets of Brooklyn peeling away as heads for White Wolf Mechanics. Your anxiety and fear sheds off as well, floating away in strips down the tarmac like an outer layer of skin. You feel vulnerable, all new and exposed as you hold Bucky close so you don’t fall. That’s what makes it feel bearable - Bucky’s back against your cheek, the hand he places over yours against his stomach when you pull up at a red light. His promise, echoing under the rumble of the bike beneath you. I’ll always take care of you.

~~~

The shop looks closed from the outside, but you can hear a low bass-line from the street and people laughing somewhere inside. Bucky brings you round the back, the roller doors out front closed this time, and into the back rooms you’d yet to see since that first visit a few weeks ago. To your left you see what must be Bucky’s office, but the room he tugs you to looks more like a bachelor pad living room than a mechanics break room.

Sam and Steve lay sprawled on leather couches, beers open on the coffee table made of old crates stacked together. The Killers pumps through a very, very nice sound system which Natasha is quietly singing along to where she lays on top of the pool table, legs kicking off the edge to the beat. Her beer rests on her stomach, rising and falling with every breath, and she doesn’t even raise her head as she waves at the two of you entering. Sam lifts the icepack from his eye to look at you, grinning wide, and kicks Steve in the shin to get his attention.

“Barnes is back,” he says, rolling his eyes as Steve blearily blinks awake from what was clearly an unplanned nap. Steve focuses on you and Bucky, eyebrows drawn down in confusion, and Sam adds, “and he’s brought his girl.”

“Shouldn’t you be at dinner or something?” Steve asks, then seems to remember himself and smiles all big and perfect at you. “It’s great to see you again, by the way.”

“Quit brown-nosing, it’s embarrassing,” Sam says, and throws his icepack at Steve’s head. He swats it away, squawking at the wetness it leaves behind on his hand and cheek, which makes Sam grin.

“I need a beer for this,” Bucky mutters so only you can hear, which makes you smile. You lead the way to the minibar in the corner, right by the bookshelf full of video games and the cardboard cut-out of Guy Fieri (you don’t want to ask). Bucky follows, grabbing your hand and tugging you back into his chest as you walk - even without the watchful eyes of the other gang affiliates which usually follow you at his parties, Bucky seems hell bent on making sure everyone knows who you’re here with. Even his closest friends.

You can’t say you entirely mind.

“So, to what do we owe the pleasure?” Natasha asks. She’s sat up now, twisting on the pool table to face you both as Bucky grabs you some beers. Sam and Steve still continue to argue about nonsense on the couches and are ignored by the three of you for the moment. However, they stop bickering as soon as Bucky speaks again.

“Someone’s been watching my building,” he says. The silence is thick, and you feel almost guilty for ruining their fun night with your stalker woes. Bucky hands you a beer and looks at you pointedly, eyebrows raised. You take a sip before you follow his not-so-subtle direction to start talking.

“I was followed home the morning after Sam’s party at the bar,” you say. You have the full attention of Bucky’s closest friends, and you can’t help but feel a little intimidated. You take a deep breath and decide to look at the situation like you were debriefing a client on a case - remove yourself from the equation. “There was a man smoking against the building next to Bucky’s. He followed me about four blocks before I lost him. He was over six foot, caucasian, brown hair and stubble.”

“Sounds like every white guy,” Sam says. “You could be describing Bucky, for all we know.”

“Yes,” you say, frowning. “If I was putting a tail on someone, I would make them very nondescript. Makes sense, right?”

“And you’re sure he was following you?” Natasha asks. You glance at her, but she doesn’t look like she’s condescending you or anything. Surprisingly, she looks like she believes you far more than the other two men in the room. Maybe your trial by fire proved to her you know what you’re talking about, so you nod.

“Definitely. Either he knew I was there and was waiting for me to leave, or he was watching Bucky’s apartment and would have followed anyone who came out of it. Without more information I can’t be sure if he was there for me or Bucky.”

“You’ve never seem him before?” Steve asks. You shake your head, and he says, “Could you describe him a bit more detailed? I might be able to draw him.”

“Sure,” you shrug. “Or, we can just wait until he shows up at Bucky’s again and follow him.”

Bucky does not like that idea at all. He practically growls, grabbing your elbow and turning you to face him as he glares at you. Roughly, he says, “Are you fucking insane?”

“What?” Mildly annoyed, you tug your arm from Bucky’s grip and say, “If this was a case, that’s what I would do.”

“This isn’t a case. This guy is going to be a hell of a lot more dangerous than some rich businessman cheating on his wife,” Bucky says, voice raised to an almost shout in one of the quickest escalations you’ve ever seen.

A switch flips in your brain, and you see red.

“Thank you for the condescending analysis, Bucky,” you snap. You ignore Sam’s muttered ‘oh shit!’ for your own health and sanity. “But you have no idea the kind of people I’ve dealt with in my life. I can manage a fairly mediocre stalker.”

“A fairly mediocre stalker who works for someone who won’t hesitate to use your hamstrings as handcuffs,” Bucky hisses. He steps towards you, chest brushing yours as he breaths deep and ragged, and oh- there’s the Bucky you’d been missing. The guy who’s still wearing clothes stained with blood, most of it not his, angry in an incandescent kind of way which reminds you he could hurt you in many more ways than just a broken heart. He leans down to say into your face, “This isn’t something you fuck around with, alright? There’s a reason why I’ve kept this world from you.”

“I thought we said no secrets?” you say, raising your eyebrows. You will yourself to hold your ground, even if you are shaking like a leaf and your words come out soft in the face of his anger. Like you’d poked a pin in his chest, Bucky deflates. He backs off of you, face crumbling from anger to guilt as quickly as he built himself up there.

“I won’t let you get hurt because of me,” he says, shaking his head. The switch in your brain flips back, all indignation and pride fading away. He’s still trying to take care of you, just like he promised. Already it’s abundantly clear you’re not going to make that easy for him, and you wonder how long it will take until he gets sick of trying.

“This isn’t going to work if you don’t trust me,” you say, gesturing between you. “I let you into my world, now it’s your turn. I know it’s dangerous - I could have left, remember? But I’m here. So let me be here.”

“If someone touches you-“

“I’ll get over it,” you say. Bucky stares at you like you’re crazy, and maybe you are, but it’s true. “You said you were going to take care of me - how’re you gonna do that from all the way over there?”

You don’t mean the other side of the room, the valley of the pool table and the metaphorical arms-length which which he’s keeping between you. There’s only so much Bucky can hide from you before you either dive right in or walk away. This is the turning point.

“Fine,” he says. He looks physically pained as he scrubs a hand over his cropped hair, but at least he’s not angry anymore. “I still think thats a fucking stupid idea.”

“Like I said,” you say, offering him a smile he shakily returns, “stupid ideas are kind of my thing.”

“Uh, can I say something?” Sam asks, breaking the illusion that it was only the two of you in the room for that particular argument. You both turn to look at him, and he almost backs down with the weight of both your gaze. He carries on, however, saying, “I’m glad you guys have had this breakthrough in your relationship, but that doesn’t really help us in figuring out who this guy is. Or who he works for. Or why he followed you. Or how he knows where Bucky lives in the first place.”

“We could go around and ask,” Steve says, shrugging at Natasha’s eyeroll. “What? Baseball bats really jog people’s memories.”

“Why don’t we ask the private investigator for some expert advice,” Natasha says, giving you a look that seems to say men, right? You’re still trying to get your head around the image of Steve threatening someone with a baseball bat when you’ve seen him with his own puke on his jumper singing Sweet Caroline into a toilet bowl.

“Well,” you begin, darting Bucky a look but he seems to be listening and not getting ready to yell at you again, “since apparently following the guy is off the table for now, I would start with me and Bucky. Enemies, bad blood, someone with an axe to grind. Pull at some threads and see what happens.”

“That shouldn’t be hard,” Sam says, “Bucky’s got more enemies than friends.”

“So do we all, punk,” Bucky grumbles, glaring at Sam. “We’re in a gang.”

“This ain’t about me.” Sam holds his hands up in mock innocence, grinning big like he gets unrivalled joy from making Bucky’s face do the twitchy, dark thing it’s doing right now. The impact is somewhat lessened by the swollen, black eye Sam’s sporting from the mission gone wrong today, you assume, but it doesn’t curb his enthusiasm.

“I can put together a list of the most recent run-in’s you’ve had by tomorrow,” Natasha says to Bucky, ignoring the bickering with practiced ease. “Until then, we should put some protection on your building.”

“You guys have bodyguards?” you ask before your brain can tell you that’s a dumb fucking question. All three of them laugh, Bucky hooking an arm around your shoulder to ruffle your hair as he tugs you into his side. Point taken, you think as you pout under Bucky’s arm.

“I’ll stay in the spare room,” Steve says, swinging himself off the couch to his full, ginormous height. That image of him with the baseball bat starts to take a bit more shape in your mind, and you don’t doubt for a second he could offer some extra protection where the stalker is concerned. To you, he asks, “You don’t mind if I third wheel?”

“It’s not my apartment,” you say, attempting to hide your blush under the weight of Bucky’s arm. You are unsuccessful, if Sam’s smirk is anything to go by.

“We’ll survive one night, punk,” Bucky says, giving you a squeeze. “Or just buy some earplugs.”

“Gross!” Sam cries, flailing an arm around. “Too much information!”

You have a feeling akin to whiplash at how well these people are taking a stalker and potential threat on their lives. Joking around, Steve fake-moaning just to make Sam scream, Natasha laughing until tears form in her eyes at the antics of two grown men chasing each other around the couches like school children. Glancing up at Bucky and the warm look he’s giving them all, you suppose it must be lot less scary to face something like that with friends. Family, you think, as Sam crash-tackles Steve into the couch and smothers his face with a pillow.

“You’ll be alright?” Natasha’s soft voice manages to scare you, jolting under Bucky’s hold as you turn from watching Steve and Sam to find her right by Bucky’s other side. She’s looking up at him, lips pressed into a firm line, and you remember the last time you were here - James is the only family I have. Maybe some are taking this development a bit easier than others.

“Always am,” Bucky says, using his free arm to punch her lightly on the shoulder. She gets him back, much harder, and you feel Bucky wince away from her and into your side. “Serious, Natashenka. I’ll be fine.”

“Good,” she says. Smirking, she adds, “I’ll kill you if you aren’t.”

You look back to Steve and Sam before they can notice you eavesdropping, a hot, honey-thick feeling melting through your skin. You want to know what that feels like in a way which burns; to have people who have your back like that, and your dad doesn’t count because he literally has to. You understood Bucky’s gang even less than you originally thought - he’s not just a biker, a criminal, a hit man or an ex-army vet turned enforcer, whatever the case may be. He’s a guy doing what he has to do to protect the people he loves, because he’s surrounded by them. You’ve never had to protect anyone but yourself.

You tuck yourself closer into Bucky’s side, letting the warmth and smell of him consume you. That’s gonna change, you think. This feeling in your chest is telling you that change is already happening.

~~~

Steve does not have to get ear plugs to survive the night, and you make both him and Bucky coffee before you head off. Shower, new clothes, work - all that normal people stuff you have to do. Steve, golden in the morning sun with the brightest smile on his face, and Bucky’s moody scowl at the early hour and dark rings under his eyes, wave you goodbye. You kiss Bucky’s pout before you go, letting him grab your ass for a second before you slip away.

“Don’t do anything stupid,” he says, and Steve snorts like there’s some joke you’re missing.

“I’ll go out the laundry window,” you say, as if this is a new development and not your usual routine. “Nobody’s gonna follow me, promise.”

“Hmph,” is all Bucky says and then you’re really gone, racing down the stairs and out the window like you always do.

Sorry Bucky, you silently think towards his apartment as instead of making to cut through the gym parking lot, you wrap back around his building and scan the street from behind the bins. Sure enough, opposite Bucky’s building with a baseball cap on and another cigarette, stands the same dude who followed you the first time. You really weren’t lying - stupid ideas are kind of your thing.

You make sure you’re hidden by a group of pedestrians as you slip out the side alley of Bucky’s apartment building and walk away from your stalker. He doesn’t notice, and you manage to walk a block and cross the road without him any the wiser. Your roles have switched as you hang out at the news-agency a few doors down from where he’s waiting, pretending to flick through a magazine. It’s easy to take a few picture of him over the top of the page with your phone, grainy but useable for when you show Bucky later.

You can deal with Bucky being angry at you, because you know how to do your job and this is the most efficient way to get intel. It’s always easier to ask for forgiveness than permission.

Eventually, you watch your stalker watch Bucky and Steve leave his building. It’s 9AM and they head to their respective bikes, revving off down the street in the general direction of Steve’s tattoo shop. Your man hunches his shoulders and pulls out his phone, taps into it for a bit, before he walks off in the opposite direction to Bucky and Steve. Not following them, then. Your stomach twists as you fall into pace a few people behind him. Just following you.

He gets on the subway, which makes  it very difficult for you to remain unnoticed but you manage to sit at the internal doors in the next carriage and watch him through those. He gets on his phone again, talking to someone with evident frustration if his clenched jaw and balled fist is anything to go by. He gets off in Manhattan, walks a few blocks, before ducking into a darkly lit bar called the Lerna. You decide it’s probably best not to follow him there, but you snap a few photos on your phone of the bar before doubling back out to Brooklyn.

You call Bucky as you go, a bit jittery at the incoming argument you know you’ve created, but you can’t help but feel it will be worth it. Now you have something to actually go off - a face, a name, some concrete facts. Much better than stabbing around in the dark. A few rings go by before Bucky picks up, saying, “Miss me already?”

“Get over yourself, tough guy,” you say, but you’re smiling. Maybe you do miss him already, just a bit. You were so focused on getting your information you didn’t get to fully savour Bucky this morning, all tanned muscles and tattoos, all yours. You force yourself to ruin the moment by saying, “I’ve got some information for you.”

“Me too,” he says, which surprises you. “Nat’s gotten together some potential candidates for your stalker. Have you got time to come to Steve’s tattoo place?”

“Sure,” you say, beginning to pick at your nails as the nerves set in.

There’s a beat of silence before Bucky must realise what you’d said before, and he doesn’t sound nearly as light and playful anymore “You said you had information? On what?”

“I’ll just show you when I get there,” you rush out, closing your eyes at the way Bucky sucks in a breath like he already knows what you’ve done. “Don’t be mad.”

“Oh, I’m not mad,” he says, as if through gritted teeth. “I’m fucking livid. Please tell me you didn’t follow that guy this morning.”

“Ok, I won’t tell you,” you say. “See you in twenty.”

“You’re dead meat,” he says before you hang up.

It could’ve gone worse, you muse as you round the corner to the subway station. Sure, Bucky threatened you with lethal violence and sounded even angrier than he’d gotten at the shop yesterday, but you can still imagine him smiling at his phone as you hung up the same way you’re smiling at yours now.

You text him the photos with a quick, Don’t say I never do anything for you xx

A minute after the photos deliver, Bucky is calling you again. You frown down at his caller ID, confused - you were on your way, why is he calling you back already? But before you answer that question, someone grabs your arm and tugs you away from the subway steps and into an alley instead. His grip is bruising, unbreakable, even as you scream and kick before he shoves a gun into your neck and you fall deathly silent.

“Scream and you’re dead,” the man says, hot on your ear. You can’t shudder away, his vice grip too tight and the cold steel on your jugular paralysing. You twist a bit to look behind you despite yourself, your stomach bottoming out at the familiar face which grins back at you. Baseball cap, brown hair, stubble - just like any other white guy. He sneers at you and says, “Not so clever now, huh?”

All you can hear, as your stalker marches you down the alley and into a waiting SUV with a gun to your back, is Bucky’s voice yelling this isn’t something you fuck around with. You’d let him say ‘I told you’ so a thousand times if it meant you got out of this alive. Hopefully, the phone tucked into your back pocket will be enough to save you. You hope Bucky is listening, the call you just managed to answer still catching the grunted conversation your kidnappers are having. You’ve never needed someone before, but god, do you hope Bucky’s got you now.  

Part 6

[giyuwu-san]

spike into water // ushijima wakatoshi

— It’s sports season! Volleyballs and swimming caps are everywhere in this unlikely love story! But can the aspiring swim captain find a way for romance with the stoic volleyball captain Ushijima Wakatoshi?

↱ PAIRING : Ushijima Wakatoshi x Female-Swimmer!Reader

↱ WORD COUNT : 7.6K

↱ WARNINGS : Angst, Pining, Slow-burn

↱ TAGS : @assortedanime​ @tetsukuroos​ (I’m not even sure if you guys remember asking to be tagged LMAO)

↱ ASK :  Hi! I dont know if you are still accepting requests, but if you are can i request for a oneshot of Wakatoshi falling for the (fem) swim captain at Shiratorizawa who also happens to be on the Japan swim team. I dont have a specific scenario for them interacting they could be dating and she shows up to one of games against karasuno(?) (I’ll leave jt up to you anything is fine) 😅. Thank you so much ! ❤️

↱ AUTHOR’S NOTE : It’s finally here! I’m also testing out a new format nyehe tell me what you think! Anyways this fic took me absolute ages and if you were one of the ones that had been with me throughout my writing process you know exactly what I’m talking about LMAO. But it’s finally here, so I hope you guys like it! This is also my first ever playlist fic, so each scene has their own song selected by yours truly! But it’s not mandatory for you to enjoy the fic! It just enhances the experience I think! Anyways, I don’t really know what else to say so I’ll just let you guys read it!

↱ PLAYLIST

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scene one; i’ll try 

Shiratorizawa!

The pounding of the drums sent a familiar shiver through Ushijima Wakatoshi's spine. Except for the fact that the tingling wasn't usually something he felt because of the cheers. On ordinary days, the piercing screams were nothing but background noise. Something he could unconsciously drown out.

It wasn't that he was ungrateful for the support his fellow schoolmates showed, it was quite the opposite, but with the intensity of the sport he played, the uproars could only be driven back as a mere afterthought, something he would easily forget about, a buzz at the back of his mind. 

Shiratorizawa!

Today, however, a thought was pushing through the forefront of his mind. It was like something was screaming at him to do something, but he couldn't for the life of him figure out what. 

It was currently the fourth set of their game against Karasuno, and as he looked around the sea of white and maroon, as well as the contrasting colors of black and orange, he couldn't help but feel strange. 

Shiratorizawa!

          "Shiratorizawa?" 

Her face dropped as the sudden realization dawned upon her, and Ushijima had no choice but to watch silently. The way her soft eyes tensed into a tight glare, gazing back into his with a look of concealed hurt and betrayal. It pained him, to see the person he cared so much about, shrink back into the weak, vulnerable girl he had met all those years ago.

The ringing of the referee's whistle was what brought him out of his daze, walking briskly to the sidelines as the game was halted by a technical timeout. The cheers of the crowd didn't stop and with the added layer of another school, the overlapping cries were muddling together in what seemed to be a second battle off the court. The rhythmic beating of drums, the frantic clapping of cheer bats, and the deafening screams of the masses. 

School was out for the day as the sun was slowly setting outside, its rays creeping through the windows, casting a golden sheen across the empty hallways. Most of the students had already rushed out as soon as the bell rang. Ushijima, however, being a new student, had to lag behind to settle the remaining paperwork with his new teachers. 

And as he walked down through the empty floors, hands gripping the straps of his backpack, he felt his body halt as the peaceful campus was interrupted by an earsplitting scream.

The scream Ushijima heard resounded throughout the hallways, the sound ripping through his ears as it got dragged out by the constant echoes.

Who could that be? And at this time?

Ushijima didn't know the campus all that well, it was his first day, how could he? Yet as the screams only got worse, his feet started moving towards the sounds plaguing his elementary school's hallways. The cries getting louder as his feet stepped further in rapid succession, every step he took, the louder the screams rang in his ears.

As he crept closer, new sounds started inviting themselves through his senses, the screams were clearer, but now there was something else.

Are those water splashes?

Ushijima couldn't know for sure, but as his feet walked farther, he found himself halting in front of a room. 

Opening the sliding doors, he was greeted by the sight of a girl splashing around in the water, head protruding from the surface every few seconds. And at that moment, it didn't take an adult to realize that the girl in front of him, whose screams were becoming more chocked, wasn't here to swim.

She was drowning.

The timeout had ended and Ushijima was once again standing tall on the court, eyes focused and calculating. Whatever feelings were emerging from within him, the sudden wave of nostalgia that would wash over him, they could be dealt with at another time. He needed to focus, sharpen his senses on the game in front of him, but no matter how hard he tried, there would always be an inkling feeling that lingers at the back of his conscious.

The girl was shivering and clinging onto Ushijima's body. Which now matched hers as the droplets of water fell onto the tile floors beneath them.

He couldn't quite process what exactly just happened. He couldn't understand how he had found himself in this situation, but he understood that the girl was safe. And that was all he needed to understand. 

          "Don't let me go," he heard her say despite her coughs. He heard her, and he listened. Holding onto her form tighter before rushing her to the nurse.

scene two; you’ve got a friend in me

          "Toshiiii!" you said. The joy in your voice making itself known as you trudged further into the small yard with Wakatoshi and his father playing volleyball together. "Let me play too!" you pouted.

The young boy turned to you and nodded promptly, much to your delight. 

          "Y/N-chan! How nice of you to drop by!" said Ushijima's father, a wide smile plastered onto his face as he waved at you. He was always such a kind man, always welcoming you with open arms. And as you ran over to where they were playing, the smile never once left his face.

Knowing this, you could only laugh as you stared at the boy in front of you. Face emotionless and unwavering in comparison. 

It had been a year since that incident in the pool. The memories that still plagued your mind sent your body shivering similarly to how it did back then. But looking at the boy staring back at you, your troubled mind found comfort in his eyes. Eyes that were calm like the grass that surrounded him, swaying softly as the wind brushed its soft fingers through it.

          "Do you know how to play?" he asked you. 

          "N-no," you said meekly. "But if I learn, do you think I can be as good as you?"

And at that moment, the ball that was once in Wakatoshi's hands flew over to your direction. A small yelp escaped you, your arms flying up to protect your face.

          "Maybe," was his only response as you huffed and picked the ball back up.

         "I wasn't ready yet!" you tried acting mad but ended up laughing as the fifth-grader looked at you blankly once more. "Don't think I'm weak just because I'm a third-grader!"

          "But if I thought you were weak wouldn't I have warned you before throwing the ball?" he retorted back.

          "Oh yeah..." you said in sudden realization. 

Ushijima's father, who was watching from the sidelines, couldn't help but laugh.

scene three; i smile

The warm beads of sand tickled your feet. The ocean waves flowing smoothly against the surface as it danced back and forth with the current. And the sun shined brightly above, casting a sheen against all that stood below it, basking everything in sunlight. It was a beautiful day.  

Your family had decided to take a summer trip to the beach. It was the final week of your summer break, and once this was over, you would be coming back to school a fourth-grader. 

You looked towards Ushijima and his father, having had tagged along after you had invited them. The olive-haired boy still wearing the same unwavering expression. You laughed at him despite yourself. You would think someone who was going to be in the sixth-grade, and soon a junior high-schooler would at least try to make himself seem more approachable. 

You bowed to his father in greeting. The man smiling back at you before walking over to your parents for a chat, leaving you alone with Wakatoshi.

You had remained friends ever since the incident at the pool. Only having grown closer throughout the summer break with your frequent visits to his house.

          "Toshi! Let's play beach volleyball!" you piped up at him as he looked at you curiously.

          "Sure," he said.

But you should have known with your volleyball skills not having improved much, that the game was going to end quicker than you thought.

Huffing in frustration, you plopped down onto the sand with your arms crossed. 

          "Why can't I be as good as you?" you asked him. Your eyes peering up at him as a small pout played on your face.

          "Maybe you're just good at something else," he said, shoulders shrugging slightly.

          "Like what?" you asked, only for him to shrug once more. Making an exasperated sigh escape your lips as you laid down on the sand.

          "Why don't you try learning how to swim?" he asked suddenly, making your body jolt up. Your face looking up at his with bewilderment, was he insane?

          "Woah, wait, what brought this up?" you asked him. "You know I can't!"

          "Why not?" was his reply. Of course, that was his reply. "We're at a beach."

          "No," you said.

          "Why?"

          "I might drown." you looked up at him, and his eyes softened ever so slightly. He knew why you were scared, but you couldn't just keep living your life having this one memory hold you back, right? Because even if he didn't say it outright, you were his friend. And friends care about each other and want them to be better.

          "I'll teach you," he said. You looked at him with shock, but with his face looking oddly determined, you agreed begrudgingly.

The water felt cold against your body as you tried to float on top of it. With Toshi supporting you as he held you up, you tried to calm down.

But it wasn't working.

The feeling of having the air blocked out, the feeling of your vision blurring, and your body going into a panic. It kept playing at the back of your mind like he was going to let go and watch you sink deeper and deeper. You felt like shaking, maybe you were, but then suddenly—

          "It's okay," he said, holding you tightly. "I won't let you go." 

He looked at you carefully, attentively.

          "So just breathe."

He was right, it was okay.

You took a deep breath, letting the air fill your lungs, and the ocean breeze brush against your skin. He won't let go.

And soon it felt like you were floating, and you were. Toshi gently moving you around the water as your body continued to float against it. You looked at him, and you smiled. 

It didn't take long until he started teaching you the basics of how to swim, or at least he tried to. You did now know how to float, but you still hadn't gotten over the fear of your head being below the water, and Toshi knew this. 

          "Take a deep breath," he said. And before you knew it, his hands covered your ears as he pushed both of your heads underwater.

It felt like you were entering a different realm. It felt peaceful, serene even. As he looked into your eyes to make sure you were okay, you stared back into his. The gentle hum of the ocean was something you never knew existed, its melody ringing in your covered ears as it almost lulled you to sleep. 

It was because of him that you could hear such a beautiful song, and it was because of him you suddenly felt braver, stronger.

You brought your own hands up towards his ears, cupping them the same way his hands did with yours.

You wanted to stay like this forever, in this dream, with him.

But eventually, you had to come back up for air. Breathing in as the sunlight suddenly evaded your senses, you looked into his eyes, with a new fire evident in your own.

          "One day, I'll definitely be as good as you," you said. And for the first time since meeting him at the pool that day, he smiled.

scene four; i like you

          "Nice receive!" 

The gymnasium watched on carefully at the match playing before their eyes. It was the last day of their elementary school's sports festival and the volleyball game playing on its final set was keeping everyone on edge. It was a close game. The third set seemed never-ending as both teams fought back and forth in a deuce. 

You watched Ushijima as he moved together with his team in what seemed like some sort of spontaneous choreography. They were at match point a few seconds ago, but that was until the spiker from the other team came forward, evening out the score, and bringing both teams' scores into the 30s. 

You were biting your nails, the jacket you wore seeming to be useless against the chills running through your body at the intense match. Miraculously, however, the other team's serve went too far out and placed Ushijima's team back at match point. You gripped the metal bars in front of you, your gaze fixated onto the olive-haired boy. Your head felt like exploding as the internal chanting kept getting louder and louder. And that was probably because the chanting wasn't internal anymore.

          "Ushijima Wakatoshi!" you screamed, catching the attention of both him and everyone else. "Show them how strong you really are!"

His face remained expressionless like it always was, but you could feel the aura around him change. It was almost as if the air started circling him, the air pressure shifting and rotating against all opposing currents. And you knew everyone else could feel the change too. Like everyone was getting sucked into a whirlpool, a vortex.

He jumped into the sky, the setted ball flying towards him as if it knew that was where it was meant to go. 

You saw him bring his hand down, and you saw the ball hit the floor.

You watched as the ball flew back up just as quickly as it had hit the ground. The sound it emitted seemed almost high pitched and scattered as it resounded around the silent gymnasium. The scattered sound, like droplets of water that would be thrown up into the air, punched upwards by something crashing into it. 

The ball was what crashed into it, a spike into water.

The game ended with your school's victory. The court divided in both triumph and failure, but it was a good game nonetheless.

You were walking alongside Ushijima, still as expressionless as ever. You looked at him and couldn't help but chuckle.

          "You just won a hard game," you said, eyes locking on to his profile. "Shouldn't there at least be a tiny little smile?" you chuckled even more as you brought your fingers up to the ends of his mouth and hoisting them up to form a small, makeshift smile. It was good enough.

          "I'm smiling in the inside," he said. You laughed at his attempt at being playful. But he was right. After knowing him for two years, you had grown a strange skill of identifying his moods. You knew he wasn't the type of person to wear his emotions on his face, but you knew more than anyone that he felt emotions just as intensely as anyone, if not more.

You looked at him some more, imagining what kind of smile he was wearing within himself. Would it be a goofy smile? Teeth butting out? Maybe with some gums showing? 

Or would it be the small, proud smile he showed you that day at the beach? When he looked at you like you were the most amazing person in the world. Like you were his pride and joy, the strongest person he knew.

He smiled at you like that, yet whenever you looked at him, you almost felt like crying. To you, he was the most amazing person in the world. Your pride and joy, the strongest person you knew.

You looked at him, and wanted to love him. 

You wanted to love the way his hair would turn darker when damp from sweat. The sweat that showed he had worked hard, that he had grown stronger and will continue to do so. You wanted to love the way he was always there for you when you needed him the most, even when you didn't know he was there. You wanted to love the way he looked at you. Fantasizing that maybe he would look at you, and want to love you too.

You wanted to love him, because you do.

You smiled at him, then looked forward ahead of you. 

          "Come to my game later," you said, determined. Finally having the chance to show him how hard you had worked. You zipped up your club jacket and continued looking ahead. You took a deep breath. Halting your steps, you looked at him. 

          "I'll show you how good I've gotten."

scene five; i’ll remember

The cold air of the pool washed over your entire body, sending a shiver down your spine. You looked around the room, the bright lights that shined from above you, the white walls that surrounded you, and the aquamarine tiles that were below you. You looked at the clear water that flowed calmly within its confinements. 

And then you looked at him, into his eyes.

You smiled at him, a bittersweet smile. It was his last year as an elementary school student. Soon enough, he was going to leave you behind to fulfill greater heights. He was going to leap forward and fly higher and higher.

And so were you.

You were going to show him how far you've come. That you had become someone he could be proud of, someone that you could be proud of. You were both going to become stronger.

Together.

You were both going to go separate ways, towards two different paths. And as you took your position on the stand and the whistle resounded across the room. You leaped forward towards yours.

The water hit your face as your body started moving, hearing the same song you did at the beach, just with a different melody. The tempo was faster, you were faster. It was like your body was moving, dancing, through the water. 

You felt at peace. The water that you used to fight with, the water that you couldn't get along with, had finally accepted you with open arms. Letting you move through it, forming a passage for you to cross. 

There were many setbacks. Times when you receded back into the girl that almost drowned, that was scared of the water taking her. There were times when you would lose your calm and fumble. Times when you would think back to the fear and let it consume you.

You were waiting for that moment to happen, waiting for it to appear and devour you.

But it never came.

Instead what appeared were the memories you had with him. All the times you had been with him, and all the times he had been with you.

          "I won't let you go," he said.

You wanted to thank him for these memories. Memories that helped you get through your hardest days, memories that made you remember that he was always going to be there no matter what, always beside you. 

Even if he was going to graduate soon, and leave you behind. Even if there would come a day when you would have to say goodbye, you would always keep these memories he had given you, and never let them go. Promising to yourself that you would remember.

You would remember these memories, the ones that made you love him even more.

He watched you from the sidelines as your body seemed to move in sync with the water. Watched as your head peeked out momentarily, only to gracefully dive back in. It was as if you were performing a coordinated swing, dancing along to music he could not hear.

He looked at you and saw no trace of the girl drowning in the pool that day. You had come so far, and no words could express how proud he was as he watched you swim further ahead. No fear or hesitation apparent in your form. It was like you were a completely different person.

And then your head jumped out of the water after reaching the end of the pool, and it was as if you were reborn perfectly anew. 

You locked eyes, and showed him the most radiant smile he had ever seen. How could he possibly not smile back?

He looked into your eyes that gleamed brilliantly at him. Eyes that conveyed words that only he could hear, and feelings only he could accept.

          "I told you," his smile grew wider. "I told you I'd be just as good as you." 

scene six; when you love someone

Ushijima was walking alongside you, who was smiling brightly, feet skipping. You were looking at him with the smile he had seen countless times. The smile that was so happy, it hurt him to see you any other way. 

Whenever there were times that your smile would lose its joy, it's brilliance, he wanted to give it back to you. He would do whatever it took just for your smile to stay the same. It made his heart ache thinking about the times you weren't smiling, when you were weak and shaking in his arms.

But as he looked at you now, your hair slightly damp and your eyes shining like the moon that illuminated onto them so beautifully. He looked at you now and felt his heart sing with joy. 

He remembered all those times he wanted to take your pain away. Those times when he would rather have your tears be his own. He almost wanted to curse himself for only being able to be with you, that the only thing he could do to ease the pain was to stand beside you.

He looked at you now and continued to watch you walk— grow. 

Yet again, always beside him. And he felt happy.

His heart ached and soared at the same time. Just the mere thought of you sending shivers down his spine, his young mind was racing with these new feelings he didn't understand. 

          "It was an eventful day today," he said, trying his best at conversation.  

          "It was," you said back, your face turning to look at him and— your smile. 

You're so beautiful.

The sparkle in your eyes, the pink of your cheeks, the curves of your lips, everything, everything was so beautiful.

And then, your smile softened, and soon vanished into a small frown. 

He was distraught.

          "Do you know," you trailed off slightly, your eyes dropping down onto the ground as you kept walking, "why I was drowning that day?"

          "You didn't seem to want to talk about it," Ushijima said carefully.

You chuckled a bit, playing awkwardly with your hands.

          "It wasn't anything serious." You continued, "Actually, it was kinda stupid, ya know?" 

He nodded to you, still listening. 

          "Maybe..." you drifted off once more, "maybe that's why I was so scared to tell you, cause, I thought that you would think that I was really lame."

          "I would never think that," he replied bluntly.

          "Yeah," you looked at him again, a fragment of your smile coming back to your face. "I know."

He was still looking at you expectantly, though not inclined to ask you outright, he couldn't deny that he was curious.

          "It was during swimming classes that my favorite necklace broke and fell into the pool." you laughed at yourself, cheeks heating up slightly. 

          "And so you decided to go back after school to try and get it out?" he asked, which only made you feel even dumber. 

          "Yeah..." you said, before huffing and replying, "but it was my favorite necklace, okay?!"

          "Okay," he replied, looking at you.

You stopped in your tracks and stared at him dumbly.

          "Y-You're not gonna call me dumb?" you said.

          "No," he said. "Do you want me to?" 

          "No!" you coughed. "I mean, no."

          "Okay then," he replied once more before walking again.

          "I just thought—" you sighed. "I thought you would laugh at me."

He looked at you. You were frowning with your eyes focused down onto your shoes, the smile he loved nowhere to be seen. You had just won a competition, why were you so gloomy all of a sudden? 

          "We all did foolish things when we were younger," he tried his best to cheer you up, to have you smiling again. "It's nothing to be ashamed of."

You perked up at him slightly. Almost there.

          "What kind of necklace was it?" Please give me your smile again.

          "It was silver, with a little feather pendant attached to it," you said, your small smile growing ever so lightly. Just a little more.

          "I see," he said, watching you intently. Waiting for your smile to grace him with its presence once more, please let me make you smile.

He stopped dead in his tracks, causing you to do the same. Turning his body towards yours, he looked at your confused face. Your face looked so pretty under the street lamp, the dull lighting draping over your features so casually. But he knew that your smile could outshine the lamp tenfold. So please, just smile, be happy. 

He brought his index fingers to the corners of his mouth, stretching them up and forming a wide makeshift smile. 

You're so beautiful when you're happy.

You started laughing, and his heart was overjoyed. 

He hoped you could hear him, hear his heart beating— singing for you.

And so as you laughed at him, the smile he loved so much making its way back to your face, he promised to do everything he could to make it stay. 

All your struggles, all your pain, he would carry them for you. Because that's what you do; when you love someone.

scene seven; i need somebody

You smiled brightly at the slightly flustered Ushijima, his fingers that were once on the corners of his mouth now falling back down to his sides. You watched him look at you, and the frown that you had earlier made its way back to your face. 

You wanted to prepare yourself— prepare him for what you had to say. No matter how much you thought about it, you couldn't find the right words and rambled instead. But even in your struggles and indecisiveness, you had to tell him.

          "Toshi," you started. Feeling the lump in your throat as you stared into his olive eyes. You eventually turned and looked away. "Where are you going for junior high?" 

A simple, evasive question, it was all you could muster.

He seemed to have thought nothing of it, "Shi—" but that was until he stopped, and stumbled. But even with his momentary uncertainty and falter, he still looked at you.

          "Shiratorizawa," he finally said to you.

          "Shiratorizawa?" 

Your face dropped as the sudden realization dawned upon you, and Ushijima had no choice but to watch silently. You had expected it— knew that this was how it was going to happen, yet the true reality of the situation had only hit you now. After all the desire for improvement and strength had calmed down, all that was left was you and him, standing in front of each other in a dimply lit alley, cursed with the impending fate of a goodbye.

Your soft eyes started to fill with unknowing tears, gazing back into his with a look of hurt and melancholy. It pained him, to see the person he cared so much about, shrink back into the weak, vulnerable girl he had met all those years ago.

But you could still visit each other, he thought. Your houses were still close. Nothing needed to change, right?

          "Oh," you said. "My family and I are moving to Australia." 

          "Oh," he said back. "I see."

          "Yeah..." you fiddled with your fingers, the lights above you flickering.

You thought that it was over, it was done. There was nothing else that was needed to be said. And so you turned and walked away, even when you didn't want to. 

You wanted to turn around and hug him, tell him that you didn't want to go. Cry into his arms and listen to him. Listen to how his heart was beating too fast, listen to him breathing unsteadily. Listen to him as he would mutter a weak invitation to his graduation ceremony, that he wanted you to stay, with him. 

But none of it came, there was no invitation, there were no hugs, and no turning back. 

You wanted to stop and— just stop and not go, to stay. But you didn't.

And he didn't stop you. 

Ushijima spiked the ball hard into the other side of the court. Feeling all the adrenaline rush in with the unwelcome resurgence of memories fogging his mind into an intense haze. 

He suddenly remembered the way your eyes shined in the moonlight that very night. The way your face glowed and your hair cascaded down your shoulders, he remembered you, and your smile.

Why did it have to be now that he would remember you, yearn for you, after all these years of painful acceptance? Why did it have to be now that he would be overwhelmed by the questions of what if?

He couldn't explain it. The thought that was being pushed through the forefront of his mind, the light buzzing and banging. Like something was screaming at him to do something, and getting louder and louder. 

He looked across the crowd, the opposing team having called for a timeout. He looked across the cheer squad and large drums. The banging ringing in his ears louder than ever, maybe he was just going crazy?

But with the sinking feeling that he was getting closer to something, he let the moment of insanity slide for now. He kept looking, scanning every face that came into view. That maybe there was something— someone he needed to see.

And then he saw you. Your eyes shining, face glowing, hair cascading down your shoulders, everything. He saw you, and you saw him. Your mouth coming up and forming that smile he loved so much. You always smiled at him so perfectly, but more than that, you were here, cheering for him. 

He ignored the strange looks his coaches and teammates were giving him. He was aware that they probably thought he was going through it, because maybe he was. He just couldn't believe it. You were right there.

He then heard the familiar whistle blow across the gym. And he was momentarily knocked out of his daze. He sent you one last look, and ignored all his questions, when, why, and how you were here was something he could deal with at another time. Because when he finally stepped back onto the court, he was stepping in for you. 

For all the moments you had, and all the moments you didn't. For all the words that had been said and the words that could have. He stepped in for you, for the girl that stole his heart all those years ago. He stepped in for the two of you and what could have been. 

scene eight; all alone

The gymnasium fell silent as the game came to its end. The court divided with mixed emotions of celebration and loss. Ushijima looked at you from the crowd, smiling reassuringly at him. He felt relieved.

Leaving the gym, Ushijima headed back to where he placed his gym bag. Jogging idly towards it, he picked it up and slung it over his shoulder. 

He sat down inside the bus, utterly exhausted. The match had taken its toll on every player, and Ushijima was no exception to its physical and mental turmoil. He let out a prompt sigh.

The bus was surprisingly quiet, given that Tendou was inside, but he guessed even an eccentric like him had his limits, and he couldn't fault him for that. He instead took this moment of tranquility to organize his feelings. 

He saw you again. After almost three years of distance, you were finally back.

He unzipped his gym bag and found his hands enclosing around a box. He took it out and examined it like he had many times before. Carefully opening it, he stared as the light from outside shined onto the silver of the necklace, from the clasp to the feather pendant that hung upon it. It was still in perfect shape, from all the times Ushijima dreamed of giving it to you one day. And that chance had finally come, three years later. 

He let his mind wander to the moments he wanted to share with you, the words he wanted to say. He wondered what it was like for you all these years if you were happy and experienced precious memories just like he did. There was so much he wanted to know, wanted to ask. 

So much he wanted to make up for. 

He sighed and leaned back into his seat. You didn't even notify him that you were coming back, it was all so sudden. Were you going to attend high school in Japan? Which school? 

He was going to graduate soon, just like three years ago. The term was almost over, and the school was already accepting new students. There was a possibility, but one he was reluctant in letting himself believe in or more or less hope for. He wondered if he was just getting his hopes up. 

He wondered about all the options, all the possibilities. Did you just come back to watch that one game? Did he already miss his shot as soon as he got the chance? 

He massaged his forehead briskly and decided to sleep on it. He was too tired to think too deeply about anything at the moment. If he really wanted to know, he would just have to find you and ask you himself. And maybe then he would be able to tell you he was in love with you.

And find out that you were in love with him too. 

scene nine; you were beautiful

Ushijima walked through the crowd of people occupying the hallway. It was louder than usual, the students already making plans for summer break with the term almost at its end. 

He was on his way to practice, but that was until a figure started walking by his side. He first paid no mind to it and kept walking, only sneaking a glance and seeing— you.

He stopped.

          "Hey," you said to him, smiling. "It's been a while."

          "Yeah," was all he could say.

          "It was a good game," you said. "Yesterday."

          "We lost."

          "Yeah."

There was a long pause.

          "I'm a student here now," you said, looking at him. "Though I came in pretty late."

          "Yeah," he replied as you kept walking.

          "How have you been these past few years?" 

          "Playing volleyball," he replied promptly.

          "I see," you replied.

The tension was killing him. His eyes focused in front of him and refusing to look towards you. He couldn't look at you.

Maybe it was just all the years catching up to him, or the sight of you after so long messing with his brain. He couldn't know. All the memories that flooded him, the feelings that overwhelmed him, it was too much for even him to handle. He couldn't take it.

Back when the dimly lit light flickered above the both of you on that narrow alleyway, the moon high above in the night sky. 

You were so beautiful.

Your eyes that looked at him, your voice that called out to him, your smile that was always directed towards him. Everything, everything about you was everything to him. 

He looked at you finally.

          "Why did you leave?" he asked you. The one question that had been eating at him all this time for the past three years.

All this time of yearning for you to come back, and now that you were finally here, eyes the same color, hair slightly shorter, smile just as bright as it always was. He wanted so many things, but nothing more at the same time. He didn't want anything else but for you to stay in his presence, beside him like how it was always supposed to be. He didn't want anything more.

All his ambitions and questions could be left unrewarded and unanswered. He just wanted back the moments only you could give him. Everything that passed, everything that was missed, he wanted it more than anything. He clenched his fist inside his uniform pocket tightly.

          "My mom got a new job," you said. "I'm sorry I never fully explained."

          "It's okay."

He started walking again, and so did you.

          "Would you like to attend my graduation ceremony?" he asked you.

          "I'd love to," you replied, looking forward.

He didn't cry when you walked away. Back then, when everything so simple suddenly became complicated. 

Back when the tears he saw leave your eyes were turned into anger in his refusal to believe that you had parted on such sad terms. He thought that maybe it would be easier to move on when his last memory of you looked at him in anger. That maybe, he could erase the tears from his mind and have you hate him instead. He realized that it was all just sad foolishness.

He remembered— accepted the fact that what happened was nobody's fault. That both your hearts had shattered, and it was no one's fault. 

You were both making your way closer to the end of the hallway, the crowds of people disappearing slightly, the space feeling less cramped. He could feel you looking at him, your eyes focused on his profile. This was a normal thing between the two of you, but three years had passed, and he had no idea how much he had missed these simple habits. 

He missed all the moments that seemed mundane to him back then, when you would walk beside him, look at him, play volleyball with him, no matter how bad you were. He missed all of it, he missed—.

          "I missed you," you said.

He looked at you and paused.

          "Thank you," he said back.

You smiled.

It was these mundane moments that made you so beautiful. Back then, even when the tears stained your face, you still looked beautiful. When your eyes, for what he thought was the last time, looked at him. When your voice spoke out to him, back then, when no matter how hard he tried, you still seemed to slowly become a movie of the past. No matter the moment, no matter the circumstance, you looked so beautiful.

But it was these mundane moments that made him fall in love with you even more.

He clutched the necklace in his pocket even tighter.

Both of you finally stopped at the end of the long corridor. Both of you on your way to do club work, but in the opposite direction. You both wanted to laugh, it all seemed like some kind of fate, but even then, you decided to smile it away.

He brought out his hand from his pocket, still holding the silver necklace. He hesitated, but looked at you anyway.

He reached his hand out to you, the chain hanging from his fingers. You took one look at it, then looked into his eyes. The eyes you could read so well, looked at you like he wanted to convey so much but nothing else at the same time. 

You hugged him. You hugged him tightly. His hands wrapped around you gently. Enclosing you into his personal bubble, for all the people left in the hallway to see.

          "Thank you," was all you decided to say.

          "I missed you," he said. And it was all he needed to say back.

You parted from him, your hand carefully taking the necklace from his, the light from the window beside the two of you shining on it, making it sparkle. 

He started walking the other way, and so did you. But he stopped and turned around, and so did you. 

He looked at your eyes, the smallest shine playing on his own. 

          "Don't let it break this time," he said.

And you smiled once again.

          "I won't," you said. 

scene ten; i loved you

The hall was loud and happy, filled with celebration and melancholy as the students of Ushijima's batch graduated, some parting ways and some making plans to stay. 

He looked at the audience that clapped for them and saw you. A small smile played on his lips as a bright one was proudly displayed on your own. 

He looked around him and at his teammates, proud that they had come this far together, smiles on their faces like everyone else.  

After thanking each of them one by one, he looked back at you, who smiled and flicked your head towards the exit. He nodded and started following you, leaving the graduation hall. 

          "Where exactly are we going?" he asked.

          "You'll see," you showed him your smile, and he couldn't refuse you.

You grabbed his hand as you started walking faster along the endless hallway, and soon enough, you were both standing in front of the indoor swimming pool. You both made your way inside and turned on the lights.

          "One day, I'm gonna become the captain," you said as you crossed your arms proudly. Ushijima nodded seriously.

          "I'm sure you can," he said, and you smiled at him.

You took his hand and dragged him towards the edge of the pool, eliciting a confused look on Ushijima's face.

          "Can I be a tad bit cheesy?" you asked, looking into his eyes. Your back was facing the pool as you stood on the edge, Ushijima standing in front of you.

          "What do you mean?" he asked, but your arms already made their way around his neck.

You smiled at him cheekily and leaned back into the pool, causing both of you to crash into it. Your bodies started sinking into the pool, Ushijima's eyes slightly wider from shock while you continued to look at him from underwater.

Your heads eventually shot out of the water, clothes wet and hair damp. You started laughing. 

          "I've always wanted to do that!" you laughed louder as you looked at Ushijima's dumbfounded face. He clearly was not expecting what just happened.

Seeing him so unusually expressive made you want to tease him even more, like the Toshi you knew from all those years back.

You swiftly ran your hand across the surface of the water, splashing him in the face as you giggled even more. Toshi looked at you in slight shock, yet a small smile played underneath his stoic features. He brought his hand up and splashed water right back at you, making you squeal and swim backward, laughing.

You didn't know how much time had passed with you splashing water at each other, how long you two had lapped around the pool trying to catch each other, laughing, and enjoying each other's presence. 

You looked at him, who had a rare smile on his face, and realized just how much you yearned for this moment. His eyes that stared back into you, and your heartbeat that started beating faster than before, you realized just how much the memories with him meant to you. You used to be content with looking back at the memories you had created all those years ago, but now it was different. Both of you were different. 

It wasn't enough anymore to reminisce about past memories. You wanted, needed to make more, with him.

Even with the thought that he would once again be swept away by the many opportunities that awaited him, but even then, you still felt happy. He was on his way to accomplishing so many great things that you couldn't help but look at him, his hair wet and uniform ruined, yet he still looked happy, with you in this moment.

You started swimming towards him, eyes never once leaving his. The water around you flowing against your body softly as it almost pushed you towards him. You giggled as you got closer.

You were now in front of him, hands on his shoulders and eyes staring in his. You smiled softly at him.

          "Take a deep breath," you said, and before he knew it, your hands covered his ears as you pushed both of your heads underwater.

The water engulfed the two of you as it's serene hum blinded your senses. You looked into his eyes that stared back at you, and his hands that made its way to cover your own ears. 

It was like you were back in the ocean with him when you were still children, but it was also so different. 

You were both grown now, with feelings that had developed over time, or maybe they were always there. 

You stared into his eyes as he did the same, lips inching closer and closer. You smiled brightly at him one last time before you kissed him gently. You pulled away and rested your forehead against his until Toshi brought his face closer and pecked your lips again. 

You had no idea how long the both of you had held your breaths underwater, but you had no plans to find out. With your lips moving softly against one another, and your bodies held in a tranquil state under the swimming pool water, you couldn't care less.

The two of you in each other's arms, hands covering ears, and hearts falling deeper in love. 

Just the two of you, in that moment, with no other forces pulling you apart.

[who-ever-said-i-was-nice]

Mtach up thing please! <3

Female, INFJ-T, Sagittarius. 155cm (tiny potato, just dont smash it on my face or I will get insecure)I would never, brown eyes, long light brown hair, pale with freckless. Average-skinny. Wear glasses for study/work which is basically 24/7 same and have some tattoos here and there.

I think Im more of an ambivert but more close to the introvert side. I’m smiley but still people tend to tell me that they thought I was rude (or directly a bitch) highly doubt it they just jealous but found out I’m not that bad, guess that’s on bitch resting face :( nope :) better. Socially awkward but after I get comfortable I fool around a lot, memes and vine references give me life. I tend to do the opposite of what I’ve been told just because I don’t like it when people order me things.pffff can relate Tho I’m shy I will not hesitate to step up if someone is being rude with someone specially if is towards a friend or someone close to me. I try to be very caring and supportive for anything you will need but also empathic, I cry if someone cries kjdfhgk but try to hold it together so I can help and not make feel worse the other person you seem very nice pls be my friend

I’m sensitive, I get stressed and anxious easily and for that I constantly have headaches and stomach ache,noooooo :( I have a whole self-care routine to help me with that or else I will, without a doubt ,get sick. I don’t like places that are too crowded or very loud noises, it makes me nervous. I’m your “will cry if gets too anxious” person. yup you are to innocent and cute to be my friend I’m either “Mama bear” scary or “will murder you in your sleep” scary.....I’m just a marshmallow tho

I like reading welcome to the bookworm club, learning random things. I love art in general, music, painting, dancing, etc. I love animals too! All of them, cats, dogs, birds, frogs, please let them all in(but my weak spot are cats, I cant deny it). I’m vegan, try to make it the most healthy possible (eating well, taking vitamin D and B12 to not die that was funnier than all of my jokes combined i died ). Sugar is my passion and my minimum 4 tsp of sugar per coffee knows it(this is where the I eAt HeAlThYy goes to hell xD damn right lmao, you still healthier then me). When it comes to music I like a bit of everything, I will be listening alternative rock or metal and then jump to kpop, tho I’ve been into chill lofi lately, specially when is mix of a series or movie cause nostalgia hits hard and I’m into that shit kjhjk I also have a playlist of Disney, anime or movie songs/soundtracks because it helps me to study or work more motivated, your girl needs motivation to not stare into space for 1 hour straight,kjkiijjioh same tho Im quite disperse, I always forget where I put things and then blame the goblins for that, but it turns out, it was on my hand all the time lollol

I study art online, I want to be a concept or background artist for animation, I used to study animation on a university but dropped because the pressure was too much and never could get along with the university itself, every week was a fight about something (Im not problematic I swear, I try to be the most chill out-care free possible but I swear the system is horrible here :( )yeah it happens sucks that you had to go through it. I’m also learning complimentary therapies! (I think that’s how it is on english) Reiki, tarot, pendulum, past lifes and such, Im into esoterical/”mystical” things.

For hobbies I do embroidery, sewing, read, stare into space for 1 hour and yoga (this is part of the self care routine to not die).

My favorite season is autumn or early spring, I dont handle too hot weather or the sun well, I like winter and rainy days but then I get so cold that I invernate on bed the whole day.

For relationships I think communication is key, I know is not easy but is the only way to make it work :( and cuddles, please cuddle me and pet my head, I will be on your palms if you scratch my head. I can be very touchy, like holding hands and hugs but I dont like it if someone who is not a very close friend or my partner does it, I just dont know how to react or do kfdhlk I prefer my personal space untouched :(  Im so sorry it was so long!! I wanted to do it very detailed but sHoRt to not make you think so hard with who match up me but maybe tmi is just the opposite for you, if so Im truly sorry! :( I think you are an angel just for trying to match up me with someone <3 ahhh, yes, the matchup (take a shot for everytime i said match up on this paragraph game) for ikevamp please! <3

4 shots huh.Ahahahahhahhhahahhahahhhah...... Don’t worry about the length. The longer the better right. Right? I’m nasty I’ll stop. Also yes I went through it and left little notes within the text. Why, because I’m cool. Hopefully. One day. Anyway!

I matched you with...............

                                        .......................ISAAC!!!!!

My sweet baby angel little boy

Isaac is very,very shy so it took him some time to warm up to you

but that does not mean that he didn’t like you

oh no no no

on the contrary

Isaac died every single time you passed him

he didn’t understand how someone could be so perfect

you took his breath away

him not being the tales man actually liked that you were shorter then him

you see, because men are supposed t be tall and strong and all that crap, plus being around Leo, who scores a 10 in all of those, made him quite insecure about his, well, actually everything

the way he talked, or rather didn’t, his height, that fact that he wasn’t jacked like some of the guys in the mansion, or, you know, at least in his mind

he isn’t exactly the fighter type either

he’s a scientist after all, not a worrier

and this made him feel like he didn’t deserve you, because he couldn’t protect you

 oh my, sweetheart no

you on the other hand, think he is amazing

I mean not all people know all the constellations name and position by heart, nor can they carve amazingly cute wooden toys and decorations, nor are the university professores and just so happen to be an absolute physics geniuses so yeah

both of you being quite reserved, it took you ages to get together

but when you did it was the most amazing thing ever

he confessed to you one night while you where stargazing

it went a little something like this:

You: Thank you for bringing me out. It’s so beautiful!

Isaac: Yes. Like you.

You: *eyes emoji*

Isaac takes your hand, blushes hard, and even though he wanted to look into your eyes he couldn’t bring himself to, in fear of loosing himself in them

“Y/n ever since I first laid eyes on you I knew that I needed you in my life. You make me feel so comfortable by the just being here with me. You are funny, lighthearted and so welcoming and accepting. I love when you sit next to me in the library, I love it when we stargaze, I love how you ask me oh so many questions. How you are so eager to learn everything. Yet you are so quiet and shy. It’s amazing really. and in those moments I fell like I love it even more. The comfortable silence we can both sit in. The look we share, were we somehow always know what the other is thinking without even asking. I love your hair falls and frames your face perfectly. Those adorable freckles are driving me mad you know? Your petite features always astound me. So small yet so pretty. How is it even possible? However I don’t expect you to reciprocate my feelings. It doesn’t matter how much I adore you, I can’t protect you. I am not what a man is supposed to be. I’m not strong and tough Y/n, I’m just a scientist. However I felt the need to tell you this. To tell you my true feeling. I love you Y/N. I really do.”

Isaac sat there with tears streaming down his face

he couldn’t look at you

he just waited for the rejection to slap him in the face

however it didn’t come

you cupped his wet cheek gently and he looked up to see your tear stained face

you slowly pull him towards you and kiss him

it was so gentle and full of love

you pulled away tears still pouring down your faces

however these weren’t tears of sadness, but of joy

you both laughed as Isaac pulled you into a hug

well.....

i may or may not be crying writing this

yes I definitely am that is totally the case

anywhoo

after this it is smooth sailing

cutest couple ever

And that is it! Sorry if this is lame and it literally took forever. Thank you for the request though.! Have an amazing day and be safe!

[riskeith]

happy weekend dearest!

other than the snow angels, i haven’t done much.,, just been cozying it up with coffee and blankets at home hehe. 30 degrees... amazing. ideal feeling like a rotisserie chicken weather. 😌 bc of global warming we’ve been having some great summers these past few years. it even gets to 30 degrees as well which was unheard of tbh.

you’re so cute for caring ilysm <3 and aaa! a walk! do you have any perticular place you enjoy walking to or does the winds guide you, hehe? EDITING A FIC... 👀 i’m looking respectfully...... 👀 wait did the event open up for you already? i tried to play it earlier today but it wasn’t there yet... the lost riches one right?

bennett is best boy i still can’t believe it either!!! he’s seriously the cutest he just makes me so happy. when i need to explore and run around i always run with him bc i love his lines so much. what a bebie. you should go for it there are still some days left! + he’s a four star so he’s easier to get. GUOBA IS SO FUNNY he’s just.... a little fucking bear i can’t stop laughing... tbh the little creatures like amber’s bunny too just 😭 have you seen those yt clips of them dancing? obsession..

i need to ask you this bc when i found out i lost my mind: did you know that the japanese va for razor is also the va for tsukishima (haikyuu) and shigaraki (bnha)???? insane!!! it made me consider switch to japanese dub tbh.. which dub do you use?

maybe i’ll send you a little part and you can read or something shdkdhskdjdjf help 😳 it’s not edited or anything so it might take a while plus i’m super into writing bnha these days so.... but hey if You have any prompts you want to read maybe i’ll write a drabble for you. i don’t mind at all! <33333 ask for anything!!

(FIC-COLLAB!!:!/$:)!:&//&/!$:’sidnd HELP.... omg what kind of fic would we write....?)

exactly! i think when you realize that there’s nothing keeping you there anymore that brings you joy, that’s when you need to step back. social media is a bit fucked up that way imo. like you want to be there to be informed and to have fun but it takes so much.. hm. also you always tell me this but i wanna tell you to that YOU are the reason i enjoy social media these days so.. thank you <3

you relate to bakugou and lance? that’s super hot of you.. 🥵 my wifey is a self assured, super intense and talented person.. couldn’t ask for better tbh. i think out of them both i’m pretty much like todoroki.. we’re super similar in so many ways now that i think about it shsjdhdhdj.. how about we just stay c.r and m.a our dynamic is perfect as is LMAO

DOUBLE VENTI! I’D LOOOOVE THAT FOR US. bow users are difficult indeed but venti is one of the easier bow users it feels like... idk watching others game play he doesn’t have as much pushback as say amber for example. 12K PRIMOGEMS..... babe you’re getting your xiao!!!!!! how long have you been saving? also i seriously don’t mind if it comes down to it hakshddkhd i can be your genshin sugar mommy... ;) imagine a c6 venti though that seems insane. literal insanity.

SPEAKING OF SHIPPING.... THE POST YOU POSTED... THEY STOLE OUR IDEA AND IT LOOKS SO CUTE AND ITS CHONGYUN AND XINGYUN WHICH IS EVEN BETTER... THEY LOOK SOOOOO CUTE TOGETHER I’M OBSESSEDDDDD!!!! <3333 dude idk how but we are doing that co-op date somehow i’m super inspired i want that for us so badly... (also i need to say smth... my love language is when people say ‘i thought of you when i...’ and the fact that you said that just hsjdfhjdjdksk shit)

actually you’re right.. the only way we’d get a sequel is if they did something with the mfe fighters.. like kinkade james veronica nadia and ina. idk how attractive that would be tho...

i’m a lady, my dearest *dips* no but my pronouns are she/her!! sorry i didn’t mention it before i thought i made it clear shsjsjdkdj. ty for asking tho ♥️ super sweet!

AAA!!!!!!!!!! EEE!! i’m super super excited. if it’s like,, too public and you don’t just wanna post it i might think about exposing myself or smth... if that would make you more comfy. no matter what you do i’m just gonna be here buzzing, *hinata voice* one more one more one more.

oh!! i listen to everything but kpop sjdjdkdhdk i did have a semi-phase around like 2014-19 ish but dropped it pretty hard . now i have no clue what goes on there anymore i mostly enjoy rnb indie n rap/hip.. my gay ass was considering making a little playlist or smth for u but i want to make it with songs You’d like so i might pull up my old kpop faves hehe..

guess chilling is out of the question then, heh. hope you slept well!! i’m gonna try to wake up earlier so we’ll have a chance to send more messages during the weekend perhaps... mwah!!

YOURS, m.a. <3

happy weekend!!!! hope you can ease up a bit since there’s no school hehe

“feeling like a rotisserie chicken weather” FHSKFHKSDF yes!! but it honestly sucks when it gets any hotter bc we don’t have central cooling in our house so rip... and my laptop fan goes crazy ahaha. 30 degrees being unheard of.. can’t relate! fsdfjs. have you guys had to adjust to those changing temperatures? rip climate change tho :’(

<333 i do!! i usually walk to the local park and then the streets around that.. omg speaking of... do you play pokemon go? DHAFKHSDKFHSKDFHKSDH i got back into it again recently ahaha. it’s for a free bakudeku zine!! hehehe it’s out at the end of jan so 👀

i just checked and the event is open !!!!!!!!! good luck hehe !

yup lost riches!! and the event opens at 4am server time, so since i’m in asia i get it earlier hehe which colour seelie are you gonna go for tho omg i was debating it with my friend last night.. i’m gonna pick gold!!

baby bennett!! that’s true but i can’t risk getting a 5 star otherwise my pity will reset for xiao fhdskfhskjfhkjshkfj next time :(((( but albedo /is/ super pretty and i see a lot of people saying they like him... NO !!! xiao only >:( no omg i don’t think i’ve seen those clips ? is it mmd where they like dance to other songs and stuff ahah

yes i did!!!! and the VA for diluc is giorno from jjba and kuroko from knb!! omg wait and venti’s VA is hinata did you know that? fun fact i guessed it was him when i first heard his voice LOL that’s my secret talent 😩 and i use japanese dub!! i’ve considered using chinese too bc i can understand it but i just like the japanese voice actors tbh and also i can excuse it as “listening practice” AHAH

yes pls!! sending something bnha is fine too, or legit anything else lmao i’m open arms over here~~ 🤗👐 and ooft... it’s hard thinking of prompts that’s why i always ask others HSDKFJHSDKFHSD but i’ll let you know if i think of something!!!

(no clue!!!! but we could each write from a character’s POV so hopefully it’s more consistent 🤪🤪 idk i have no clue how fic collabs work AHAHA)

yeahhh one of my mutuals said “social media is a curse” and honestly hard agree.. we’re all kinda trapped in a way LMAO. and no pls don’t thank me.. you’re the one who found me first 😩💘 ily..

FSDHKJFS pls you’re making me blush come on 😳😳 but yes i love that for us... m.a. x c.r. the only valid ship 😩

woooo!!!! yeah you’re probably right, like given the fact he’s a 5 star his mechanics are probably different.. i know that diluc’s charged attack is different to the other claymore users so! IM GETTING MY XIAO!!!! and hm i’ve been saving since the middle of zhongli banner! so december 10 ish around then? dragonspine was a blessing tbh i reckon i got sooo many primogems from that. FGJKSHFKJSDHFKSDHSHKJFH my genshin sugar mummy 🥵🥵 c6 venti unstoppable..

AHAHAHA YEAH THEY LOOK /SO/ CUTE TOGETHER!!! i wonder how they got so many of the images tho like they must’ve been so in sync?!?!? ugh that could be us but no cross-server co-op be playin’.. (fhdskjfhdskjfhs um!! noted for future reference 🤪)

omg them.. i always forget about them LMAOOOOOOOOO ugh. actually i wouldn’t be mad if we got a prequel of like when keith was in the garrison... or even when shiro was with adam... ugh so much they could’ve given us and they chose not to

*waggles eyebrows* well hello there, m’lady ;) and it’s fine fhdskjf i had some inklings but didn’t wanna assume ya know? ahah :p

no!! it’s all g, i’ve thought about posting it before anyway. like, just releasing all of my WIPs and letting people do what they want with them HAAHA. (i could also just put the link under a read more and less people would see it, so it’s no biggie!) fkdshfkjs the hinata impression omg precious <33

FJHFDSKJ awks ahah which groups were you into tho! if it’s not like scarring for you to think back to LOL. and oooo i like indie too! i think.. or is it alt? honestly i don’t even know, tbh my music taste is pretty diverse and a mess, i can usually listen to a lot of things. except slow songs i don’t really like those hfdskj. and i don’t like rap too much either FHSDKJS whenever my friend gives me a rec i’m just like “oh i liked the singing parts in that” FDSKJF. a playlist tho huh 😳🥺

and pls!! if the weekend is your only chance to sleep in then do it.. for me 😩 i’ve been legit waking up at 12pm these past few days FKJHSKDF idek why like i’m sleeping 10 hours?? yikes. but as always i shall be waiting for your response <3 💌

[lvanter]

cafe q, chapter three. han jisung

note: obviously not proofread who even does that lmao aight bois chapter three tell me what u think

warning: mom in hospital (idk how to word it lmao) cancer mention,

wc: 1.4k

being awoken by a pillow hitting your head isn’t ideal, and yet, that’s exactly how jisung got woken up.

“what did you do that for,” he whined, pulling the duvet up over his head.

“well one, you alarm was going off and you didn’t stop it,” changbin threw the pillow on the end of jisungs bed, “and two, you were sleeping talking again,”

jisungs eyes shut open, “what did i say?!”

“oh, you know, just the usual, ‘(name), i love you so much, please believe me, you’re the best person ever and i love you so much,” changbin mocked.

jisungs face got red and hot, “i do not say that!”

“yes, you do,” changbin left the room, “and get up!”

“i do not.” jisung grumbled, pushing the duvet off him and getting up.

“good morning, jisung,” jungwoo greeted, restocking the cups and straws.

“good morning,” jisung yawned, walking into the back room to put his stuff away.

“oh, by the way, (name) isn’t coming today, so you’ll have to help chaeyeon in the kitchen,” jungwoo informed the younger boy.

jisung stopped dead in his tracks, “why isn’t (name) coming today?”

jungwoo shrugged, “i don’t know. mr. choi called and just said they weren’t coming today,”

jisung nodded, eyebrows furrowed. yesterday were your day off and jisung knew you spend it at home, so it couldn’t be lack of energy. maybe you had gotten sick? maybe, but he spoke to you on the phone yesterday and you sounded fine. jisungs lips fell into a pout, getting a snicker from jungwoo.

“when are you gonna confess?” jungwoo teased.

jisung shot daggers at the older boy. he let out a huff and went to the kitchen, where chaeyeon had just began making cookie dough.

“what’s up, sung?” she asked when she noticed the pout on his face. “can you hand me the salt?”

jisung put on an apron and got the salt, “nothing,”

“i don’t believe you,” she began weighing the salt, as jisung turned on the oven.

“it’s just…” he hesitated, “i’m just worried about (name),”

“ah,” chaeyeon looked at the love struck boy with a soft look, “i’m sure (name)s fine. they’re probably just not feeling well,”

“yeah, i know…” jisung bit his lower lip.

“if you’re so worried, why don’t you stop by their place after work? don’t you get off at twelve today?”

“i..didn’t think about that,” he muttered, “that’s good idea, chae,”

“obviously, it’s my idea,” she snorted. “maybe text them first though,”

jisung bit his bottom lip as he reread the text before sending it.

12.02

can i some over? (✿◠‿◠)

12.04

my babey: sure (ﾉ◕ヮ◕)ﾉ*:･ﾟ✧

12.05

my babey: but only if u bring food

12.05

my babey: i’m hongry

12.05

will do angel

12.06

i’ll be there soon then

12.08

my babey: hurry!!!!!! i’m hongry!!!!!!!! (づ≧ω≦)づ

12.09

will do baby

12.09

get the blankets!!!!!!!!!! we’ll make a fort!!!!!!!!!

12.10

my babey: !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

jisung put his phone in this back pocket, took his jacket and left the busy cafe with a small bye to his coworkers. he stopped by the convenient store and got some ramen packs and other snacks, and made his way to your place. he was listening to music while walking, specifically the playlist you had made for him.

the playlist meant a lot to him, not only because it was you who made it, but also because the songs had given him comfort on nights where he wanted to disappear. he remembers clearly the day you showed him the playlist.

“sung,” you called sweetly, making him hum without looking up from his laptop, “can i borrow your phone?”

“sure,” he threw it too you after opening it, trusting you not to ruin everything for him. after about fifteen minutes you gave it back to him without a word. he, for some reason, didn’t look at him phone until after he dropped you off at your place.

he took his phone out of his pocket and went to listen to music when he noticed a new playlist named: ‘i’m forever thankful for you’

he furrowed his eyebrows as he clicked on it. he went through the songs and felt his heart flutter at the songs he recognized—they weren’t exactly love songs but close enough for jisung to feel like he was on cloud 9.

jisung smiled at the memory. it had been almost one year since you made him the playlist and he had listened to it everyday. the door to your apartment complex opened automatically, letting jisung walk into the big building.

you lived in an big and expensive apartment complex, and jisung had wondered more than once how you could afford it; after all, working in a cafe doesn’t give the best pay.

the elevator was big and roomy, with two very clean mirrors. jisung took the opportunity to fix his hair the wind had messed up. after fixing his hair, he put his hand over his heart; it was beating faster than it probably should.

the small ding from the elevator woke jisung from his thoughts. he found your apartment quickly and knocked softly on the hard wood. the door swung open, and jisung was met with your smiling face.

“sung! you’re here!”

“i said i would, didn't i?” he smiled teasingly, as you closed the door behind him.

you ignored his words and went straight for the food. “you’re a saint,” you gasped, taking the bag from him and walking to the kitchen, while he took his shoes off.

while you made then ramen and prepared the snacks jisung began making the fort and making your couch more comfortable than it already was.

20 minutes later the two of you were cuddled up on the couch, two empty ramen bowls sitting on the table in front of you. his head was on your chest while you ran your fingers through his hair slowly. his arms was wrapped tightly around you, and a baby blue blanket covered you both. there was some soft and calming music playing in the background.

jisung let out a sigh of content at the feeling of your fingers in his hair. he didn’t want to move from this position. he couldn’t remember the last time he felt so relaxed and content.

“(name),” he said quietly, scared to ruin the calm atmosphere. you had been acting just a little off; you were a little too quiet and your smile didn’t quite reach your eyes.

“hm?”

“why weren’t you at work today?” he could sense your hesitation, “you don’t have to tell me if you don’t feel comfortable,”

“no, i..i probably should tell someone,”

jisung noticed how you tensed up and your grip on his hair got tighter.

“uh..it..my mom…..she’s gotten a lot worse, and-and the doctor says she may not get better again..” you whispered, tears falling slowly down your cheeks.

jisung sat up. you had told him briefly about your mom and how she was in the hospital with cancer. you didn’t like to talk about it, and jisung respected that. “oh…” he swallowed his saliva. he watched with a heavy heart as tears began to fall from you eyes at a rapid pace, “c’mere,”

he opened his arms and pulled you into a hug, with your head on his chest.

“i was supposed to go see her today, but i-i just couldn’t,” you cried, “i feel so bad, sung. she needs me and i…” you trailed off unable to finish your sentence.

“it’s okay, angel,” jisung comforted, running his hand up and down on your back.

“but it’s not!” you said loudly, pulling away from him, “she’s the one dying and i’m here! doing absolutely nothing! i feel terrible, and…. i’m..i'm just...useless,” your voice got weaker towards the end of your sentence, and it broke jisungs heart more than anything else had.

“you’re not useless, angel,” jisung carefully put his hands on your shoulders. he didn’t know what to do. the only thing he could do right now was be there for you, and it broke his heart that he couldn’t do more.

he managed to calm you down enough so you could get some sleep. he was quietly singing a song to calm you down. by the time he finished singing you were fast asleep. he was still running his hand on your back, “sleep well, angel,” he leaned in to kiss the top of your head. “i’ll be here when you wake up,”

[cherryrogers]

Falling For You.

— Chapter 6

Pairing: Bucky Barnes x Fem!Reader

(Modern High School AU)

Warnings: None.

Synopsis: Unlike most teenagers, you had your life completely mapped out. You’d graduate high school, go off to the university of your dreams, and live the life that your parents always wanted you to. That was always the plan.

Falling for Bucky Barnes, however, was never part of the plan.

Being ‘just friends’ isn’t enough. Becoming anything more is too much. But suppressed feelings can’t stay ignored forever, and you were about to learn that a lot sooner than you thought.

Inspired by the song ‘Fallingforyou’ - The 1975

A/N: ok so i’ve finally took the time to properly start planning chapters ahead of time, so hopefully i can start writing this a bit quicker lmao. i’ve also made a playlist for this fic which i might post soon?? idk,,, anyway, feedback is always appreciated and please enjoy!

Series Masterlist

__________________________________________

With only a handful of weeks left until Winter break, you had decided to buckle down and put all of your efforts back into maintaining your grades.

After the painful conversation with your mom, and knowing that she’d be home in a week, you were determined to make sure the time she’d be back for wasn’t going to be a nightmare, and that’d definitely be the case if you didn’t crack open your textbooks and get your head down.

Despite you being the one to force yourself into studying day and night, it still didn’t stop you from groaning internally at the textbooks that you were tugging out of your locker, which most likely wouldn’t even fit in your backpack, meaning you’d have to carry the damn things all the way home. Great.

While you barely held the four thick books in your left arm, you shut your locker with the other, letting out a gasp at the sight of someone leaning against the locker next to you.

“Can’t you just say ‘hi’ like a normal person instead of lurking next to my locker and waiting for me to see you?” You asked, moving the books in your arms so you were hugging them to your stomach.

The boy only chuckled, ignoring your annoyance before eyeing the stack of books in your grasp. “You know, I thought I’d finally gotten through to you on how much time you waste studying, yet here you are with half the damn library in your locker.”

“My mom’s coming back next week, Bucky. Unless I want to face her wrath, I’ve got to get an A in every test we get in class over the next week.”

“So, is that your way of saying that I’m not gonna see you for the next seven days?”

You nodded reluctantly. “I don’t necessarily have a death wish, so yes, that’s exactly what I’m saying.”

Mirroring Bucky’s stance, you leaned your side against the lockers, getting a headache just from the thought of opening your front door and seeing your mother staring back at you. As long as you aced all of your tests, it’d be fine, right? She can’t be mad at you for improving, yet she’ll probably find a way to be, considering she loves to be mad at you for everything.

The corner of his mouth curled up. “Well, you’re gonna have to find some free time, sweets. Winter Formal’s comin’ up, and I don’t think they’ll let you in with those jeans that you never take off.”

Shit, he was right. The Winter Formal was happening in three weeks, and if you didn’t dress shop as soon as possible, you’d never have a dress ready for you in time for the dance. Not that you were particularly big on school dances, but it was your senior year, so it was one of the last dances you’d even have in high school. Plus, even if you insisted on not going, Wanda and/or Bucky would most likely pester you into going.

“God, dress shopping is the last thing I wanna think about right now.” You sighed. “I’ll probably have to ask my mom for money to buy it, too. That’ll bring on the ‘you should have a job by now’ lecture, and I swear, Bucky, if I have to hear that damn speech for the hundredth time...”

“I’m sure you’ll work somethin’ out.” He reassured you. “You could always help out at the auto-shop, if you wanted to.”

You could tell he was joking, but the suggestion still made you scoff. “You can see me greasing cars and fixing tyres?”

“I can see you lookin’ cute in a pair of overalls.” The boy winked.

You chuckled, shaking your head while ignoring the flutter of your heart at his stupid way of flirting. “While I appreciate the offer, I think I’ll have to pass. My only plans up until the dance are to memorise every piece of information in these books.”

As you readjusted your grip on the textbooks, Bucky rolled his eyes, like he did every time you talked to him about studying. “Speaking of the dance, you’re gonna need to find a date.”

If he wasn’t right, you would’ve scoffed and told him that you didn’t have to take a date, but considering that Wanda and Vis would be going together, Steve would likely be bringing Peggy, and Sam would probably be able to charm a girl into going with him, everyone would be showing up with a date except you.

“I know, but who would even wanna go with me?” You shrugged.

Bucky wanted to laugh. Sometimes, he wondered if you really were completely obvlivious to his feelings for you. He knew he couldn’t necessarily act out in them - not yet, anyway - but he wasn’t exactly hiding them either.

Him. He would want to go with you. Of course he would, which reminded him...

“I was meant to ask you, actually...” Bucky started, but was soon interrupted by another figure approaching the two of you.

A mess of silver hair caught his eye, and he suppressed the groan he so desperately wanted to let out.

Pietro. Of course, he just had to ruin the moment, didn’t he? Couldn’t the guy have waited just another ten seconds to waltz over and-

“Pietro, hey.” You greeted the boy, who grinned boyishly down at you in response.

“Hey, (Y/N). Bucky.” He nodded towards your friend, who only gave him a half-hearted smile which you didn’t quite catch. He turned back towards you, suddenly looking a little nervous. “Do you mind if we talk for a moment? Just us?”

Furrowing your brows, you hesitantly looked back at Bucky, who let out a quiet chuckle before pushing himself off the lockers. “S’alright. I’ll see you later, (Y/N).”

“But weren’t you gonna ask-”

“It’s not important, honestly.” The brunet quickly shook his head, beginning to walk away from your locker. “I’m heading out now with Steve and Sam, anyway.”

“Oh, you are? Could you ask Sam if he could drop me off at home on the way?” Sam had gotten used to being the designated driver most days, considering his two best friends annoyingly opted for motorcycles rather than cars. “I’ll meet you again in five?”

Bucky nodded, shoving his hands into his jacket pockets. “Sure; we’ll just be in the parking lot.”

And with that, he quickly walked away. It was okay, he could just ask you another time, right?

Pietro soon replaced Bucky’s spot against the lockers, the white sleeve of his hoodie being a contrast against the surface in comparison to Bucky’s dark leather one. You were still a little puzzled as to why Pietro couldn’t have said what he wanted to in front of Bucky, but you gave him a kind smile anyway.

“I’m sorry for interrupting.” Pietro apologised, fiddling with his fingers anxiously. “I just didn’t wanna wait any longer to ask you...”

What was with people wanting to ask you questions today? “It’s okay, I’m sure that Bucky didn’t mind. What do you wanna ask me?”

With you looking up at him through your lashes, giving him a sweet smile and slowly tucking some of your hair behind you ear, his cheeks reddened as his gaze lowered, before hesitantly bringing it back up to meet yours. You’d never seen the guy so nervous before.

“Would you... like to be my date to the Winter Formal?”

Well, you didn’t have to look so far to find your date, apparently.

Truthfully, you were sort of hoping that Bucky would’ve asked you. Sure, it wouldn’t have done any good in getting rid of the stupid feelings that you had for him, but he was still your best friend. The both of you went to the junior prom together, and it was one of the best nights you’d ever had with him. Maybe he didn’t ask you this time because his feelings for you had truly disappeared. While the thought saddened you, it was probably for the best. If anything, it would only encourage you to move on from him.

Besides, Pietro was also one of your closest friends. You were surprised that he asked you, considering the amount of girls that you knew would’ve loved to go with him, but maybe he just wanted to be a good friend, which you appreciated.

“That’d be great, Pietro.” You responded, causing the corner of his lips to upturn. “I’d love to be your date.”

The boys eyes lit up. “You would?”

“I would.” You confirmed, pushing yourself from the lockers. “Why do you look so surprised?”

“I-uh... I don’t know.” He shrugged, watching as you began to walk away. “I thought someone else might’ve already asked you.”

You rolled your eyes playfully. “You’re the one that has girls drooling while you run laps on the field; if anyone was already spoken for, I’d guess that it’d be you, Pietro.”

“Well, I guess now I am spoken for.” He began to walk in the opposite direction, sending you a final smile. “With the only girl I was planning on asking.”

Before you could roll your eyes at him again, Pietro had jogged off to go and speak to someone else, allowing you to finally go and meet the boys outside. There was a certain warmth in your chest after that conversation. It felt nice to be asked to the dance, to be someone’s first choice. Even if you originally wanted to be someone else’s date, you were happy that Pietro had taken the liberty of asking you.

Would Bucky really have asked you to go with him? You weren’t sure, especially if he really didn’t like you like that anymore. Even if he wanted to, maybe it didn’t really matter since you already had your date.

As soon as you made your way out to the parking lot, you spotted Sam’s jeep amid the array of coloured cars surrounding it, and you began to pace towards it.

Along with Bucky, you climbed into the backseat and pulled your seatbelt on while you received a ‘hey’ from each of the boys.

“I’m gonna have to start charging for rides at this point.” Sam joked, starting up the car. “Should I print ‘Sam Wilson Taxi Services’ on the side of my car?”

“Hm, I think ‘Wilson’s Rides’ has a better ring to it.” You replied, smirking at the boy’s glare through the rear-view mirror.

“What about ‘Sammy’s Cabs’?” Bucky chimed in, making Steve snort in the front seat.

“I like that one.” The blond nodded towards Sam.

He didn’t seem so impressed. “You’re all so hilarious. I swear, you’re all gonna start paying me five dollars every time I drive your asses somewhere.”

Bucky only chuckled before turning to face you. “Anyway, is everything alright with Pietro?”

While he obviously was curious to know what the boy needed to talk to you about privately, he wasn’t just asking to be nosy - if there was something more serious going on, he just wanted you to know that you could tell him about it.

Nervously, you tapped your fingers against the textbooks resting in your lap. “Yeah, everything’s fine. He actually... asked me to be his date to the Winter Formal.”

You weren’t sure what you thought Bucky’s reaction would be, but when he only plastered on what seemed to be a genuine grin and told you that he was happy for you, you admittedly were a little thrown off.

Sam and Steve shared a puzzled look as they heard their friend’s reaction, knowing that there must’ve been a little more to how Bucky felt that he was letting on.

Perhaps you were right, though. Bucky wasn’t going to ask you to be his date, and that’s why he was so happy that Pietro had asked you instead.

And while it was slightly painful to know that Bucky had no intention of asking you to the dance, at least you now knew what his true feelings about you were.

You were friends. Whatever feelings you had didn’t matter, because he only wanted to be your friend, and maybe that confirmation could encourage you to just move on.

* * *

“Bucky, you are such a dumbass.” Sam shook his head, sliding into the booth next to Steve.

After dropping you off at home, the drive to Carter’s was pretty silent. The two boys in the front seats were waiting impatiently for Bucky to say something, but no words left his mouth for the entire time. If they wanted to get an explanation from him, they were going to have to get it themselves.

Bucky sent a glare in Sam’s direction, picking up a laminated menu from the centre of the table and lifting it to block his face. “I haven’t done anything, Sam.”

“Yeah, that’s kinda the problem.” He retorted, snatching the menu from the brunet’s grasp and placing it back on the table. “I thought you were askin’ (Y/N) to the dance.”

“I never said that.”

Steve sighed. “Buck, you told me this morning that you were gonna ask her today. What happened?”

“Pietro Maximoff. He happened.” The boy huffed, leaning back in his seat. “If I knew that he was gonna ask her then I would’ve done it earlier.”

Bucky was livid, really. Why? Why when he was literally just about to ask you to be his date, Pietro had to swoop in and steal that from him? After he’d asked you to have lunch with him that one time, Bucky had his suspicions that maybe the silver-haired boy was trying to shoot his shot. But Pietro wasn’t him. You would never feel the way about Pietro that you felt about Bucky, right? If you even felt for Bucky at all. Fuck, there he was again - thinking about the perfect world where you’d finally fall into his arms and tell him that you felt the same for him.

Once he’d left your house the other night, after you’d fallen asleep on his shoulder, he’d tucked a blanket over your curled up form and quietly slipped out of the front door, a stupid smile refusing to leave his lips. Hope. The smallest, tiniest amount of hope had filled his heart that you were finally opening your heart to him. Maybe you were finally doing just that.

And maybe Pietro had now completely ruined it.

“Are you sure that’s all you’re pissed off about?” Sam raised a brow. “You’re annoyed at Pietro for askin’ her to be his date?”

“What are you getting at, Sam?” Bucky murmured, wanting to forget everything that’d happened in the twenty minutes prior to this moment.

Sam leaned forward on his elbows. “Let me ask you something; would you even be pissed off if (Y/N) had have said ‘no’ to him?”

The boy opposite him stared at his friend dumbly. “What?”

“I think what Sam’s saying,” Steve took over. “Is that if (Y/N) didn’t say yes to being his date, then you would still have your shot at asking her to be yours-”

“You’re pissed off because she said yes to Maximoff.” Sam intervened, causing the blond next to him to roll his eyes, but nod in agreement anyway.

Bucky sat silently for a couple of moments, biting the inside of his cheek as he thought about what his friends were trying to tell him. They were right; you could’ve said no. If you didn’t like Pietro, if you didn’t want to be his date, you could declined him... but you didn’t. You didn’t wait for Bucky to ask instead.

You didn’t want him to ask you.

Maybe this was your way of hinting to Bucky that you and him were truly only friends. Whether there was something between you and Pietro or not, you’d put the thought in Bucky’s head that there was nothing between him and you. Nothing on your end, anyway.

“It doesn’t matter anymore.” Bucky spoke up, his jaw tensed involuntarily. “It’s just a stupid dance.”

“Buck...” Steve wasn’t an idiot. He could tell his friend was pretty upset. While he hadn’t directly told him that he was head over heels for you, the blond had a damn good hunch that was the case. The dance would’ve meant a lot to Bucky if he could’ve had you on his arm, walking into the hall together.

Steve was about to try and encourage the frowning boy to keep his hopes up, until another figure hopped into the booth next to Bucky, making all the boys’ heads turn to them.

“God, who died?” The redhead asked sarcastically, earning herself questioning looks from her friends. “You all look miserable, what’s going on?”

The boy next to her shuffled uncomfortably, so she looked to the other two boys in front of her for some sort of explanation.

“Bucky’s sad.” Sam said, causing a loud scoff from Bucky.

“M’not sad.” He shook his head, narrowing his eyes at Sam.

“He can’t find a date for the Winter Formal in a couple of weeks.” Steve affirmed to the girl.

Bucky was about to tell the blond how that just made him sound like a loser, until Natasha spoke up instead. “Aw, Buck. You don’t need a date to have fun.”

It wasn’t just a random date he wanted to take - it was you he wanted as his date.

“At least you’re getting a Winter dance,” She continued. “Shield High thinks that dances are a waste of time. Peggy’s lucky that you’re taking her to the dance at your school, Steve. Maria and I are going dress shopping with her at the weekend.”

At the mention of Maria’s name, Sam’s eyes flicked up to the redhead, a cunning smirk playing on his lips. “Well, the two of you should buy yourselves dresses as well.”

“What?” Natasha raises a curious brow.

Sam shot Bucky a knowing look, ignoring the daggers he was receiving back. “Bucky can take you as his date, and I can take Maria Hill. Works out for everybody.”

Yeah, everyone except for Bucky and his chances at ever getting you to believe you were the one that he wanted. What were you going to think if he showed up with his ex on his arm? Even if you did trust that Natasha was only his friend, it would still look like he asked Natasha to be his date rather than you, which is not at all what he wanted you to think.

It was Natasha’s turn to scoff this time. “You just want an excuse to try and chat up Maria. She’s a smart girl, Sam. Smart enough to not fall for your dumb ass.”

“You gotta admit, Natasha...” Sam shrugged. “Maria and I would make a hot as hell couple.”

The girl only rolled her eyes at him before turning to Bucky. “You don’t have to take me to the dance if you don’t want to, Bucky. I’d understand.”

Well, now he just felt bad. He couldn’t let Maria and Peggy go to the dance and just leave Natasha out in case you got the wrong idea. It could be fun, anyway. Nat and him could go as friends, she could stick around with Steve, Sam and the girls while he managed to steer you away from your date. So what if you weren’t his date? That didn’t mean he couldn’t be the one to make your night special.

“No, I want you to go.” Bucky nodded, a smile forming on his lips, Natasha mirroring his expression. “It’ll be fun, all of us goin’ together.”

“Awesome.” The girl beamed, plucking her buzzing phone from her pocket and chuckling at the name written across the screen. “Your girl’s calling me, Sam. I’ll let her know the good news.”

“You do that, Romanoff.”

As she got up from her seat and left momentarily to answer the phone, Steve immediately aimed a glare at the boy next to him. “Do you really think Buck showing up with his ex-girlfriend as his date to the dance is gonna win (Y/N) over?”

“S’alright, Stevie.” Bucky reassured him, suddenly not feeling so bad about everything that had happened. Sure, he was still frustrated that you couldn’t have simply been his date, but maybe things could still work out for him. “It doesn’t matter who either of us go to the dance with. If... if she likes me like I like her, then I think the night will go just fine.”

“Atta boy.” Sam smirked. “That’s the spirit. Maximoff ain’t gonna know what hit ‘em when you swoop in and steal his date.”

Maybe Sam was being a little dramatic, but his friend appreciated the encouragement. The thought that you had agreed to go to the dance Pietro because you might’ve had feelings for him was still circling Bucky’s mind, but he was trying to push it aside. Ever since the night where he walked you home with your hand in his, things had been different. Good different. He had a feeling that things could get even better than good, if he played his cards right.

He’d always kept them to himself, his feelings for you. When you told him at sixteen that you couldn’t get into a relationship, he completely understood. But holding his feelings back was hard, and if he didn’t try at least one more time to win you over, he’d regret it if you ever found someone else.

The night of the Winter Formal was going to be his night, and he was going to make sure of it.

* * *

[thestudyfeels]

🎨 Graphic made by @indiaisstudying​: India is brilliant my pals, and I recommend checking her out for studyblr/artblr inspiration. My girl tHIRIVES.

The singular takeaway from this post: Do a creative binge. Much productive than a Netflix binge. Period.

Two months ago, I reached my peak when I coined the term ‘bood day’ (a bad to good day, in my article How To Flip A Bad Day By 180°). Today, puppies and kittens, I present to you— a creative binge.

*crickets chirping, that one dude in the audience scratches his nose and turns away* 

…This one actually works but okay, we get it, y'all are bitches. But gonna do my job anyway– if you're a creator reading this, please do a creative binge at least once every two weeks.

I started doing these binges two months ago, and I've seen a VAST improvement in my creative energy. I feel my commercial voice coughing and saying hello to the mic, so before I start listing side-effects for a sponsored pill, let's dive into the basics. 

🍵 Quick PSA — 

↪ JOIN MY TAGLIST? If you aren't on this yet, please get on it, it'll mean a lot to me! By joining, you get a new article on lifestyle design & productivity every week.

100 Days of Sweat: This challenge starts TOMORROW (10th of April), so if you wanna hustle on your bod this year, join us! Accountability does crazy things.

Ever questioned your life, experienced writer's block, painter’s pain or blogger’s… block? (Narrator: aaaand she's back to advertising.) A creative binge helps deal with fixing exactly that.

“A creative binge is based off the equation of quality in = quality out.”

A lot of creators feel that they're supposed to magically create out of their head, and that's just ridiculous. It's ludicrous considering you don't know shit, read shit, do shit and watch shit.

Even to write fiction, my pal, you'll have to expose yourself to the world to know its ways, read great books and take tips (not to mention stock up on coffee, and prepare to cry a lot) before you start cranking out the pages. Everything you create is ultimately inspired by the Ways Of The World. (And that's a fantastic novel title)

So in short, you’ve got to consume content, to make content. And in a creative binge, you conscious choose content that'll help you create. Genius, I know!

Okay, but what if I'm not a creator?

Brilliant question! Wanna become more valuable and leave the people you interact with better? Take a creative binge.

Allow me an elaboration: Take a janitor and a neurosurgeon. The said janitor is paid much less than the neurosurgeon. Why is that? Is the neurosurgeon a better person? That's debatable. Is the janitor less efficient at his work? Again, debatable. The primal reason lies in the neurosurgeon acquiring more valuable skills than the janitor. Society rewards them by paying more since there are less folks who can do what the neurosurgeon does.

To recap: In order to be indispensable in the role you play (whatever it is, a student, calligrapher, CEO of the Janitor Club), you HAVE to become valuable. Grow your curiosity & know more than yo’ buddies (also bring more value than anybody else). And to become valuable, you consume value. Tada!

(And if you still ain't convinced, I'll pull out the Netflix card. You'd really rather watch shows? Or binge YouTube? Than learn a new skill, or develop existing ones? Question your priorities, my friend. Victims love entertainment, victors love learning.)

Cool, you're joining in then! Not that creative binge is NOT an entertainment binge. It's a value providing binge. What you ‘consume’ has to bring you something in return— whether that's creative inspiration, motivation or skills. *Swing arms* yup! We’re one gay, productive household. Someone remind Hallie to buy the groceries though, the Cheerios are going mouldy.

By my dictionary, a creative binge is a slot of time, 1½ to 3 hours I'd say, when you watch/read/listen to some good stuff.  Basically, binge content. 

THE 101 OF A CREATIVE BINGE 

🌿 Basics:

I conduct one every week (usually Wednesday mornings), lasting around 1½ to 2 hours.

I'll also keep a notepad and a pen nearby, to take notes and jot ideas as they come. Again, this is NOT an entertainment binge, even though it's a chill job.

Sometimes I'll get passive things done (like wiping my desk, eating breakfast and taking out textbooks) while watching. We maximize our time. 

🌿 What Do I Watch: 

The stuff I watch falls into 3 categories: creative/humor (for inspiration), business/skills (for skills) & motivation (for, um, motivation). Fair warning though, a lot of the stuff these folks make overlap, but that's alright. This is just a rough demarcation. 

Creative/Humor: some YesTheory, maybe some MacDoesIt, sprinkle in some Ryan Higa, perhaps an episode of a show with an amazing script, some stand-up comedy from my favorites. Or maybe trash that and just watch Sherlock. (Geez, Netflix, I hate you, I love you.)

Skills: Gary Vee, some artist channels, that random video on how to thrift shop even though I don't shop.

Motivation: Be Inspired, Tom Bilyeu, Mel Robbins and random videos which look nice.

🌿 What Do I Listen To: 

Oof, I love music tremendously! If you're a pal, you know it's time to RUN when I come around being like, “soo, I was wondering what's your favourite–”.

Yet, during a creative binge, I'll only listen to stuff that 1) inspires me, or 2) is creative in a way I can't explain. Some recommendations! 

Hype music:

The Score

NF

Imagine Dragons

Creative music:

Billie Eilish

Lana Del Rey

Sleeping At Last

Lorde

Conan Gray

Harry Styles 

🌿 What Do I Read: 

Usually the book that I'm reading at that point if I'm being lazy.

POETRY: It's my belief, but poetry is a writer's most powerful device. There's a novel to be said in a simple sonnet.

FICTION: I dig great fiction. PS, please read (and sob over) Away Childish Things, by @letteredlettered. It changed me as a person, changed my entire perspective about kids. I'm much kinder and softer now, and my pimples are gone. I'll literally never get over drarry too, so thanks lettered, love you.

ARTICLES: Bookmarked psychology, productivity & fitness articles on Medium. Maybe check out James Clear's & Gary Vee’s blog for new posts.

Because I wanna drive this home, here's what I did in my last creative binge as a concrete example —

Care to Note that:

All of the stuff I consume is pre-planned.

I add videos throughout the week to my Creative Binge playlist on YouTube, download albums from Amazon Music and articles for offline reading.

DON'T leave this to the last moment, you'll more likely pick entertainment vs learning then. 

Watched–

Why I'm done trying to be "man enough"

Redecorating my room 2017 (I wanna decorate my room this year so)

How to Squat Properly (I’m trying lmao)

Giving a 9-Year-Old Her Dream Job for 24hrs!! (I stan YesTheory so much)

How To NOT Be A Starving Artist (A mood. I love Sorelle)

Couple more, I could go on & on, but you get me.

Listened–

Every song on YouTube by Bruno Major

Born to die: paradise version (album) by Lana Del Rey 

Read–

Articles from James Clear's blog — (x) (x)

Articles from Gary Vee’s blog — (x) (x)

HIIT workouts for beginners

All of this birthed–

Ideas for future articles, titled: How To Be Great & Solomon Letters #2: Question Your Faith, Not Your Dreams, among others.

A small poem about faith– posted on my IG, check it out!

New content ideas, like value chains (upcoming!)

Bunch of other small rants for everyday posting

Some business and life advice that might be useful later.

Gotta say goodbye now! (literally too... but post about it coming on 12th so wait for it) Try this one out, and let me know how your binge goes (tag it with #team conquer). Mine usually end with a bucketful of philo notes, a recharged left (right? psychology? idk) brain, and a fresh perspective towards the rest of my week. 

This is the #1 strategy I've adopted to sustain creative energy when it's sapped all around by negativity and school & I promise it helps. No side effects, no sponsored pills needed. Thanks for reading!

Related: How To Get Back Into The Creative Process (if you're in a blogger's block or experiencing painter's pain)

Have something to say? I treasure all feedback! If this post inspired you to do something, or you wanna throw some love/constructive criticism at me— hop into my ask box, or reply to this post itself!

Thanks for dropping by! Major articles, like this one, come out every Thursday! Join my taglist by to read them when they do. I also post daily wins, journal entries, rants & photos of my plant babies throughout the week, so follow me if you’re into conquering life. I vow to be the loudest cheerleader. ✧

Sending you love and good energy, talk soon. 

Nandini 💌 (´｡• ᵕ •｡`) ♡ 

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[purplesurveys]

710

Have you ever done drugs and were able to quit for good? I’ve done milder drugs, like caffeine and nicotine... I don’t have like a dependence issue on them so it’s nothing I have to ‘quit.’ Are you against weed, or do you think it should be legalized? I honestly don’t know much about them since they’re normally shunned in our culture and is barely talked about/explored. I’ve heard they have medicinal purposes though and I’m finding it hard to find excuses as to why it can’t be legalized for that reason. Have you ever been taken advantage of while drunk? No. Is there any medication you refuse to take? (Like for ADHD, etc.) No, and I’m not familiar with the types of medication either. Ever watched an Above the Influence commercial under the influence? I haven’t. We don’t have commercials like that.

Have you ever or do you have an abusive significant other? Nope, just abusive family members. Are your parents too involved in your life, or do you feel forgotten? Uhh I get the feeling they want to be more involved partly because they’ve realized I’m getting older and it’s only a matter of time before I live my life on my own, so they’ll sometimes drop hints like wishing they got to know more about my love life, mental health, etc. But because we’ve been emotionally distant my whole life, it’s hard for me to open up at all so I refuse or get reluctant whenever they ask. How do you feel when it comes to love? Well I mean these days and for the last few years I’ve been optimistic about it. It’s been a while since I haven’t had a significant person that my life revolves around so my perspective is pretty biased, though. Do rainy, cloudy days affect your mood? They make me feel better. I thrive in bleak weather, and I absolutely hate sunny, humid days. Have you ever wished you could just move away and start over? No. I’m still pretty young so there’s still opportunities for me to do exactly this once I graduate. For the meantime I go through a bunch of shit, make mistakes, and learn from them so that I know better once I have to be an Adult. Are you impulsive, or do you overthink? I’m both. I overthink on my downtime but am impulsive when I feel pressured.

Are you or have you ever been addicted to any substance? No. Do you think beauty goes more than skin deep? Duh. It’s 2020, I think we’ve covered that a million times now. Do you remember your first date? How was it? My legit first date was at a nearby mall and we only had enough to afford Bonchon for lunch. We had just graduated high school so there wasn’t any reason for our parents to give us allowance anymore so we just relied on whatever we had saved in the last few days of school, which wasn’t a lot. But it was our first date after getting back together so we were simply happy spending time together in that simple date. Have you gotten caught in a HUGE lie to your parents? No, I’ve never gotten in trouble specifically for lying because I hate doing that to begin with. I’ve been in deep shit for other stuff, like getting caught cursing on social media when I was 10 or failing a test/class. Are your relationships unstable, or do you manage to keep friends a while? They’re mostly stable and I have friends I’ve kept for a very long time, but I tend to be very particular about actions. That means to say when someone does something I have on my blacklist (like breaking my trust or making fun of me directly) I’ll have no problem cutting them off in seconds, which some have been confused by cos it’s not really that common to do something so abruptly. Don't you hate when people have the nicest parents & treat them like shit? Yeah of course. Why wouldn’t that piss me off? Are your moods stable or do you never know how you're gonna feel? They’re stable for the most part. I can tell when my mood is about to shift and even then I have ample time to adjust for it and warn others if possible. Have you ever been on probation or arrested? If so, what for? Nope. The most/worst that has happened has been getting pulled over. Do you think that without drama and problems your life would be boring? Not that I exclusively thrive on drama lmao, but it’s sometimes nice to have it around just for the spice of it. I can definitely live without it, but yeah I’d say life would be a *little* bland. When you've had a bad day, do you seek an escape, or do you just face it? Depends on what problems I have. If it’s something I know will be sticking around for a while – like my anxiety toward my thesis – I’d rather have a quick, brief escape like eating out or having a few drinks. But if I’m bothered by something more pressing, something I know I’d lose sleep about, I just face the music. Do you think the bible's hypocritical, or do you live by it? Oh I dunno dude. I stopped paying attention to it when I finally didn’t have to read it every morning for school, so I’ve forgotten most of the lines. I have some memories of raising my eyebrows at some gospels though – like the one where Jesus flips out at seeing a marketplace near the temple, when these days a bunch of malls – public areas designated exclusively for shops – host masses of their own. Most churches are also situated near markets or have clothing or food stalls nearby for people to flock to after mass, so that bit confuses me to this day. Have you ever thought you were or actually BEEN pregnant? No, this has never been a concern of mine. Have you ever guilt tripped someone into something? LMAO just my parents, because I’m the most spoiled out of their kids. That’s not to say I’m spoiled rotten, I’m just a bit more expressive about what I want.  Do you actually care about other's problems? UP has opened my eyes to the plight of the poor and the working class, and so I mostly care for their struggles. When it comes to the opposite sex, do you fall for them faster or slower? I’m demi. My concept of ‘falling’ is the same for everyone. Have you ever had or been part of an intervention? Never. I wasn’t aware of the concept either until I saw it being done for Jesse Pinkman in Breaking Bad. If you could, would you go back and change the way things ended with someone? No. Can you manipulate someone into getting what you want? I can probably do it but I never want being manipulative to be a dominant trait of mine. Does the type of music someone listens to tell the type of person they are? Sometimes? Idk, you’d be surprised at some of the music people listen to. I’m as basic as basic gets lmao but I know people would be surprised to see Rancid on my playlists. But then again, music is a form of expression and it’s still a good indicator of someone’s personality or aura. Have you ever felt like you know a person just from their survey answers? Several people I follow have said that their surveys serve as their journals, so in a way it is an avenue to find out who they are. I don’t wanna assume I know them 100% though because after all, I’ve only known them through Tumblr. Are there any problems within your family? If so, what? Land dispute problems primarily, as with all Filipino families. Another issue I’ve heard of recently is what to do with one of the houses we own – who’s in charge of selling it, how to divide the money once it’s sold, etc. Apparently my grandma wants some of the money to be given to one of her sons (my deadbeat uncle) which has pissed my mom off and she’s currently pushing for him not to get any of the money cos he hasn’t done anything to contribute to the family haha. It’s all honestly fun to watch and has taught me to take it easy on my sister when we get older. If you're in a bad mood, do you take it out on others or do you hold it in? I try to hold it in and handle it responsibly, but there are times I’ll snap towards other people. Most days I act fake and convince everyone I’m doing fine so that they don’t need to worry, though. Have you ever seen cocaine, ecstasy, heroin, or acid? Have you done it? Nah I’ve never seen any of these in person. Do you like a lot of attention or does it make you uncomfortable? Oh man I hate it. Once I start feeling there’s too much on me, I try to shift it to someone else. Have you ever wanted to help someone, but you just couldn't? I don’t think I’ve ever had to care for someone who was just too far down. In one way or another I’ve always been able to offer help to my friends who needed it. Have you ever contemplated suicide or talked someone out of it who has? Just the former. I doubt I’m mentally capable of handling the second one all by myself, so I’m a little relieved I’ve never had to do it. I’m sure I have friends who can do it much better than I would. Have you ever been homeschooled? Why? No, I’ve had traditional schooling all my life. Have you ever woken up somewhere and not known where you were? Nah it’s never been this bad. I’ve woken up confused for a few seconds, but I’ve never been completely clueless. Has someone ever laced/slipped something in your drink? No, that’s awful. Have you ever had a party when your parents went outta town? Get caught? I don’t throw parties at my own place, and that’s not very common here either. Is there something you really wanna tell/say to someone but can't? Nah, I’m good. I do want to hug Angela because I’m sure she still feels bad about her grandmother passing away. Don't you hate when someone texts you and you're expecting someone else? Hahahahahaha, yes. That’s why I gave my girlfriend a separate ringtone.

[smoochcal]

numb without you (part three)

a/n: I’m so thankful and genuinely pleased with the amount of you that want me to continue this series. last night I actually had a dream about this series (weird I know) and once I’m done with this POV (which isn’t gonna be for a while lmao) then I might do an alternative version with a different point of view if you guys would like :) anyway I’m trying my hardest to write and update this series as soon as possible so if you like what you’re reading please let your friends know so they can go on this wild journey through this series along with us. also please please please let me know how you like this update! love hearing what you guys think and my inbox is always open!!!

pairing: readerxluke

word count: 2.2k

summary: after luke leaves you are left alone. or so you thought. discussing everything that is going on with someone else...

playlist: sucker by the jonas brothers, numb without you by the maine, pity party by lovelytheband, 2 / 14 by the band camino, someone to you by banners

rating: PG-13

warnings: swearing, implications of unsafe sex, mentions of blood

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Y/N’s POV:

You let your ringtone go on for another minute, staring at your phone contemplating what exactly you should do. He can’t know what’s going on. He can’t be calling for that reason. In fact, you don’t even know how Calum got your number in the first place. Probably Luke but this all seemed a little too coincidental. If you didn’t answer though he would know something was up. You sigh and press accept hoping that he calls you for some entirely unrelated thing.

“Hello?” you say, surprised that your voice sounds as confident as it does.

“Hey Y/N, have you seen Luke?” Calum asks on the other end.

“Yeah, he just left my place,” you respond, the corners of your mouth quickly turning into a frown as you remembered why he left.

“Okay. I usually wouldn’t bother you with something dumb like that, but he left the studio earlier in a hurry about something, and he wouldn’t tell us what was wrong and now he won’t answer my calls,” Calum states sounding rather defeated.

“Hmm…well I hope you can get a hold of him or he returns soon. Sorry I’m not more of a help,” you reply trying to sound oblivious to the awful situation you recently put Luke through.

“Thanks anyway Y/N. I’ll see you around,” he hangs up immediately after muttering those few words.

You sigh, thankful that Calum kept the conversation short and sweet. You can’t even begin to imagine what exactly you will say to him when the time comes. I mean if your timeline of everything is correct, which it should be because Calum was the last fuck you had, then you’re already three months along. Meaning the baby will be here in six months or less. The thought alone sends shivers down your spine. You’re going to be a mom. In less than a year. Soon. Fuck.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Calum’s POV:

You know something’s up with Y/N. You hate to admit it, but you know her pretty well. Not like it is something to brag about, you’ve just been around each other for a while. You’re almost 100% sure she’s the reason Luke ran out of the studio earlier that afternoon. He’s always had a soft spot for her, which you find pretty admirable. You could tell something was wrong though. First of all, she took forever to answer your call. You know she loves her ringtone, but not enough to almost miss your call. Usually you wouldn’t be so observant, but you were worried about her since you took her home that night after the club. You know getting close to her probably isn’t for the best. Luke is very protective of her and you don’t want to intervene more than necessary between the two of them. But if she doesn’t even know where Luke is, maybe I should just drop it. If Luke left her and she’s still sounding upset, you should probably stop by her place.

You finish up at the studio fairly quickly, especially without Luke there to finish up his part of vocals. Once everything is said and done for the day, you grab your car keys and head out to talk to Y/N and make sure she’s okay. Her apartment is about a 20 minutes drive, give or take with traffic. You turn on the radio to ease the drive and immediately start humming along. You recognize the song as Sucker by the Jonas Brothers. You laugh to yourself thinking about when you and the guys covered one of their songs onstage and how fun it was to be that carefree and goofy.

You finally arrive at her apartment complex, relieved that you remembered the way here. As you walk up to her front door, you suddenly feel really awkward for showing up unannounced. You swallow that uneasiness and knock on her door.

----------------------------------------------------------------------------

Y/N’s POV:

You finally thought you were alone for a little bit when you hear a knock on your door. You don’t recognize the knock, like you normally recognize Luke’s, which makes you nervous. You don’t normally get many visitors, which is what confuses you the most. Your place because a mess after Luke’s dramatic exit and you haven’t had the time, nor could you be bothered with tidying up again. You open the door, not thinking to look and see who it is first and see Calum standing sheepishly in front of you. You stare at him dumbfoundedly for a minute, not knowing exactly what he was doing here. Your subconscious brings up the thought of him knowing something he shouldn’t already, leaving you a bit scared and worried.

“What are you doing here Cal?” you ask as you mentally chastise yourself for using the pet name so soon in conversation. You can see his hesitant with finding the rights words to reply to you with, which worries you even more.

“I…uhm…sorry I stopped by to see if you were alright. You sounded a bit frazzled on the phone and I figured if Luke left then you might need someone…thinking about it now it was probably a bad decision. Fuck, I didn’t even bring you dinner or anything. Not that you can’t cook for yourself it would’ve just been a nice gesture…GOD I need to shut up I’m rambling I’m sorry I think I’m nervous but I know I shouldn’t be because we’ve had a civil conversation before…okay I’m going to stop now,” he mumbles, leaving you to raise your eyebrow at why he is nervous.

“I mean you can come in if you want. I was just about to see if I had anything to make for dinner. If not, we can order take out or something, not really in the mood to leave my apartment tonight,” you say coolly, moving into the kitchen allowing Calum to close the door.

He sits down on your couch, the one you were crying on just minutes before he stopped by unannounced. You rummage through the cupboards and you feel a sudden wave of déjà vu, like you have done this before. Which is true, you have done this before. Moments before in fact with Luke right before you two started the movie. You couldn’t find anything that seemed appetizing in your kitchen, so you sighed and turned towards Calum.

“Nothing sounds good here, is Chinese takeout okay?” you ask him as you pull up your favorite place’s website looking at their specials for the night.

“Yeah that’s fine, do you want me to go pick it up? I know I showed up kind of unannounced and I didn’t really want to intrude, just wanted to make sure you were okay,” Calum replies, getting up off your couch and grabbing his wallet out of his pocket.

“I mean if you don’t mind, I’ll hold down the fort here until you get back. Let me go grab my wallet so I can pay for my half,” you walk into your bedroom to look for wherever you placed your wallet last.

“Don’t worry about it, just order it and I’ll be on my way,” Calum yells from across your apartment.

You smile at the kind gesture, reminding yourself that it is technically the least he could do for everything that has happened. Not that he knows what all went down. Not yet at least. You come out of your bedroom to order what you like and hand your phone to Calum to order his food. He smiles as he hands you your phone back and grabs his things to go pick up the food.

The minute he leaves your apartment you let out a sigh of relief. You know you have to tell him. You can’t hide this from him forever and now seems like a better time than down the road, especially considering you are already three months along. Of course, you can’t be certain as you haven’t seen a doctor, yet which is probably something you should plan to do. In fact, you grab your phone and call your OBGYN’s office while Calum is gone. They set up an appointment for you for Monday morning, four days away. It made you nervous that you would have to be a little late to work for this, but you have to get used to it. This is your life now; doctor’s appointments and juggling work around with it until the baby comes.

------------------------------------------------------------------------

Twenty minutes later Calum comes back with the Chinese food. He grabs everything out of the bag while you grab utensils and plates. You will never be that person that can eat your food with chopsticks even though you have made quite a collection of them over the years. You grab a plate and pile it with one of everything, even “Calum’s food” which he doesn’t really seem to mind. The two of you eat quietly at the kitchen table with the soft noise of the tv in the background. It wasn’t exactly awkward, but it wasn’t comfortable either. The silence was somewhere painstakingly in the middle.

When you finish your food, you pack up the leftovers for Calum and put your portion of the leftovers in the fridge. You rinse the dishes and throw them in the dishwasher quietly pressing the button to start a new cycle. You go to sit on the couch assuming Calum will follow you over there. It’s now or never.

“Hey Calum, can we talk?” you ask tentatively, knowing he will probably say yes.

“Sure, is everything okay?” he responds, answering your question with another.

You sigh before you start, “I’m going to tell you something and you have to promise not to get angry right away…you’re allowed to be angry later, but you have to let me say everything first, got it?”

He nods in response, a little too afraid to say anything to upset you.

“Okay, here goes nothing. I’m pregnant…I’m pregnant and it’s yours…I guess I’m not 100% sure but I’m 98% sure and I have an appointment scheduled with my doctor on Monday morning to verify everything that I’m pretty positive is happening. I skipped my period two months in a row right after we spent that night together after the club. I was pretty buzzed when we hooked up and for the life of me can’t remember if we used a condom. But if we did, it broke. I’m not on the pill or the shot or anything like that because I used to take it and I gained weight on it and I haven’t been sexually active in a year or so since my ex dumped me. So, I don’t really know who to blame. But this is happening. This is real and I’m sorry. I know you will probably be frustrated about this. Whether your anger is directed towards me or the situation at large, you’re still mad. And I get it. I didn’t find out until earlier today. I took three tests. All positive. I’m sorry. And Luke knows. He called me earlier and thought something was up, so he came over and then he found the tests in my bathroom. I wanted to tell you before him but it kind of slipped. So, I’m sorry for that too. I’m going to stop talking now so you can say something…” you spill all of this information way too fast.

Calum looks at you like a deer caught in headlights, which is honestly what you expected his reaction to be. This is a lot to dump on someone, especially at his age of 23. I mean you were only 22 yourself, how were you going to have this baby now? And after he or she pops out you are going to have to raise them. Who are you going to raise them with? Does Calum even want to be involved? Your mind is racing a million miles a minute with all of these questions, waiting for Calum to say something, anything.

“Wow…I really don’t know what to say. I barely remember that night as well, so I don’t think either of us are really to blame. But we are having a baby. Or like we are 99% sure we are having a baby. Wow. I’m sorry I’m trying to comprehend this all as fast as I can, but this is a lot. You said you have a doctor’s appointment Monday, right? I could come with you. Only if you want of course, I don’t want to intrude. But what I’m trying to say is that I’ll be there if you want me to be. I’m here to help you in any way I can. I want to be there for my child, and for you,” his words almost run together because of how fast he is speaking.

“Thank you,” you finally say, your voice quieter than you intended. “That’s all I could ask is for you to be honest. I’m scared. Scared shitless. But this is happening and god dammit I am going to be a mom whether I like it or not. So here goes nothing,” you conclude.

The way Calum looks at you is the same way he has been looking at you for the three years you’ve known him but somehow it is entirely different at the same time. This is the begin to a long journey that the two of you now have to share.

[athousandstarstodreamon]

OC’s Question ask: Odd numbers for Rav!

I’m gonna assume you mean all the odds, so fuck yeah.

1. A little-known talent of your OC?

    Rav can fold a fitted sheet.

3. How many pillows does your OC sleep with?

    One, at most. Unless she’s sleeping on pillows on the floor.

5. Your OC’s worst habit?

    Not taking her meds and going back to bad coping mechanisms. She can get pretty destructive, both toward herself and anybody/thing that gets in her way.

7. What is your OC’s opinion on body modifications?

    Well, she has plenty of them. She loves them.

9. What chore does your OC hate the most?

    Filing taxes. She hates it and it takes too much concentration. Household chores don’t bother her because it means she has a home to take care of.

11. Is your OC a blanket hog?

    Not really. She is, however, a body-heat hog and will put her cold hands and feet all over Kohl and Summer in the winter.

13. Does your OC have a widow ’s peak?

    A little bit of one, yes.

15. Something that grosses your OC out?

    Pimple-popping videos. She doesn’t mind blood, guts, gore, etc. but the thought of someone willingly watching popping videos for fun is beyond her.

17. Is there a real person that looks like your OC?

    Not exactly, by any means. Here and there I see stuff that fits. Her face claim is Katheryn Winnick, but even then there’s a little bit of a difference (it’s bc I’m especially picky about her nose. Don’t judge me)

19. Something that makes your OC cry without fail?

    Visiting their father’s grave.

21. Does your OC have any type of disability, whether it be mental, physical, etc?

    BPD, PTSD, depression, dyslexia. Physically, she’s in really good condition, considering all the shit she puts her body through.

23. What is your OC’s first memory?

    The first time her dad took her and Wrecks to Edinburgh Castle

25. Your OC is going into battle/on a mission! What song is their anthem?

    ‘I Am The Law’ by Anthrax

27. Most despicable thing your OC has ever done?

    Oof. She tries not to do bad things, but she and one of her exes were both charged for (not convicted, they just dropped it) domestic violence because they got into a knock-down, drag out fight. After that, the thing she’s most ashamed of is when she started the big fight with the boys and shoved Kohl back into a table hard enough to trigger his PTSD not to mention bruise up his back where he hit.

29. Someone does something awful in front of your OC. How do they handle it?

    It honestly depends on what awful means. If it’s something like attacking an innocent person, or anything else she finds reprehensible, she’s probably gonna jump that person and kick their ass.

31. Does your OC prefer to sleep in a warm or cool area?

    Anything and everything she does, she prefers a cool environment. She hates the heat.

33.A song that reminds you of your OC?

    I have an entire Rav playlist lmao. But ‘Shake It Out’ by Florence + The Machine is a pretty good one. Also ‘Issues’ by Julia Michaels.

35. What is your OC’s favorite quote?

    She knows a bunch from Lord of the Rings, but her favorite is “I’ll get there, if I leave everything but my bones behind.” Because, you know, life has been a hard road for her, but she’s determined to kick it’s ass. Samwise Gamgee is secretly Rav’s favorite in basically anything ever.

37. Does your OC get excited when they get mail?

 She gets suspicious or annoyed, because it’s 99.999% of the time a bill or junk mail.

39. A strange talent of your OC?

    Wasn’t this like the first question? Well another one is she has the arm and core strength to do air-walks if she’s poledancing/doing pull-ups, etc. She likes to show off.

41. Does your OC like/make puns?

    She laughs at some, but doesn’t make them unless it’s on accident.

43. Your OC wakes up with a coin super glued to their forehead. How do they react?

    Probably immediately gets ready to swing on Wrecks bc she knows Kohl and Summer wouldn’t do that to her.

45. What kind of self-esteem does your OC have?

    She usually has pretty good self-esteem but every now and then she gets bad and basically hates everything about herself. It’s really all-or-nothing. The one thing she absolutely hates is that she started getting gray hair in her late teens. By the time she’s in her 40s it’s almost completely gray, so she dyes it constantly, even once she grows it out from the mohawk.

47. Does your OC fold their clothes, hang them up, or just leave them in the basket/dryer?

    She usually just leaves them in the basket when she lives with Wrecks because there isn’t much choice as far as clothing storage goes, but once she lives with Summer and Kohl, she hangs her stuff up (Summer would probably give her The Look otherwise.)

49. Your OC’s most prized possession?

    The only copy left of a picture of her parents holding the twins right after they were born (shortly before everything went to shit on that front.)

[lavidademarimar]

~ Masterlist ~

Elena was stood at the bus stop where Tom would arrive. She wore a yellow sundress and sunglasses that took up half her face. As the bus pulled over, she got giddy, and started looking for him. She found him quickly, a bit disoriented, with his mobile in hand.

“Oi! Glynn-Carney!” Elena shouted. 

Tom’s head shot up in Elena’s direction, he flashed her the biggest smile he could, ran over to her, and wrapped his arms around her waist. They hugged for a while. Elena couldn’t believe how attached she felt to him already. Tom felt like a friend she hadn’t seen in years.

“Did you make it okay? Was everything the way it should have been?” Elena asked, smiling.

“Yeah, I had no problem. Love, I’m starving and craving a pint, please feed me.”

“That’s exactly the attitude we need. Let’s go to mine to drop off your things and then let’s go eat our feelings because we will get drunk and then I’ll sober you up.”

“Mate, are you flirting with me?” Tom winked. 

Elena laughed. “Do you really think that I would go for you? I would obviously go for Harry,” Elena scoffed and started walking down the street. 

Tom shook his head and followed her. Jack was playing with fire.

After eating burgers and starting on the pints, Tom and Elena headed to Place du Luxembourg, where they’d meet her friends to drink. Elena had told Tom that this was a regular occurrence when the sun was out, and every young professional who wanted to network and meet people was usually there. It was all part of the Brussels bubble. 

Carlos was sceptical of Tom when he met him, but he soon relaxed when he saw he was a good lad. Andres was also with them with his girlfriend Valerie, who lives with him, and Andrea, one of Elena’s co-workers and her best friend in Brussels. 

“Another round on me?” Tom asked. 

The group agreed and clapped for Tom, who laughed and left. They all turned to Elena, who was waiting for it. 

“Okay, if the Scot is like this one, I could be more open to this new boyfriend you have,” said Carlos.

“They’re a bit different but Tom is his best best friend. I think that says a lot, no?”

“Still doubtful,” said Andres. 

Elena took their apprehension lightly because she knew they were just looking out for her. That school group was like a big, dysfunctional family, and Carlos and Andres were the closest thing she had to an older and younger brother, respectively. 

“I, for one, can’t wait to meet him. He seems super intense and super into you,” said Andrea, sipping the last bits of her beer.

“Oi! Elena!” Tom called her to help with the beer but Andres volunteered instead, to show how they wouldn’t be total idiots this weekend.

The group scattered at about 10 pm, and Tom and Elena went to get fries and more beer before calling it a night. They were in Place Jourdan, a quiet but busy atmosphere, because the famous Maison Antoine fries were there. 

“Mate, how are these fries so good?” Tom asked, devouring the fries with Samourai sauce.

“Witchcraft,” said Elena, tipsy. 

Tom stared at her and knew it was now or never. 

“Why are you playing hard to get so stubbornly?”

Elena figured the topic would come up at some point, better now that she was drunk. If she said anything stupid, she’d apologise tomorrow and blame it on the beer.

“I’m not a monster. I just... have some intimacy issues that are my fault only and he’s…so…bloody…keen, mate,” Elena slurred those last words to create impact, but Tom just found her amusing.  “I mean, I would have to be mad not to be all over him because he’s fucking gorgeous, is totally smitten with me, and is a fantastic fuck, but we’re going at two different speeds with this. I don’t want to hurt him.”

“Well, there were bits in what you just said that I really didn’t need to know, but I understand. Jack’s very intense in general with everything he sets his eyes on. It’s why he’s where he is. He was the only one of his class to graduate with a full-time serious non-internship job, it’s why he got transferred to Shanghai, it’s why he’s living with us instead of by himself when he has the money to do it. He’s always been a long-term lad.”

“He said he was living with you because he’d blown up his savings in Shanghai,” said Elena suspiciously. 

Tom laughed. “He’s bloody frugal. He travelled through South-East Asia for two months before moving back to London and he called it blowing up his savings. Mate, those countries are bloody cheap, yeah? He didn’t blow up anything; he may have dented his savings, but I would strongly doubt that.”

Elena laughed. “You really are the best mate he could have ever asked for.”

Tom shrugged and smiled. “Jack’s my boy. I love him to bits. Now, how the fuck are you going to sober me up because I need to be dashing at 9 am tomorrow.”

“Kebab and water, let’s go,” Elena stood up. 

Tom followed her and Elena grabbed his arm and wrapped hers around it.

“I don’t want to continue drinking more water. I’m going to be sick,” Tom was pouting. 

“One more glass, then shower, then bed,” said Elena gulping her fifth glass of water. She grabbed her phone and opened Jack’s chat. “Come on, let’s show him how sad we are without him.”

Tom smiled at her and turned to the camera and put on a pout. Elena beamed. She texted ‘We miss you! Tom is a whiny bitch who’s going to be hungover tomorrow if he doesn’t listen to me’.

Her phone vibrated with a reply. 

“He’s been probably waiting all day to hear from us,” Tom shook his head and headed into Elena’s room.

Jack: He looks done for. Doesn’t he have a meeting early tomorrow? Yer a bad influence. Elena: Hey, if the lad can’t hold his beer, it’s not my problem. Jack: hahaha that is a problem. Elena: How was your day? Jack: uneventful. Had a late work day and got home to Harry covering one of the windows with a sheet so he could paint without distractions. Elena: you should stop overthinking everything Harry does. He’s your flatmate. You need to learn to live with him and his personality. Jack: haha I like that ye separated the two. Yer right. Yer right. Elena: why don’t you work out to blow off steam? Jack: I should shag ye to blow off steam. Elena: lmao Shakespeare, I don’t think Skype sex has the same effect that punching an actual man in the face. Jack: Skype sex is awful compared to the real thing. Elena: I know. Jack: when could I go? Elena: we just got back, Jack. I’m only just getting my workload back. When you come, I want to take some days off. I can’t take them after being gone for two weeks. Jack: how about I go a weekend? Harmless. Ye don’t have to take days off, we don’t leave yer room, and then we plan a longer trip. Elena: tempting. I need to sleep. Goodnight xx Jack: Goodnight x

Tom's firm was looking into creating alliances with Brussels post-Brexit, and had sent Tom's charm and hard wits to captivate his audience before the tough negotiations began between partners.  This was also a test to see if he was a solid investment or not. Having just finished his LLM, Tom knew he had to make an impression. Elena had no doubt that Tom had swept the room off its feet as she waited for Tom outside the building he had the meeting. She was fidgety, playing with her hands. 

Tom came out with a smile on his face. "Oi!"

"I'm guessing the meeting went well?"

Tom lifted Elena and spun her around. "It went bloody amazing, mate! I was in charge of that shit. We have to celebrate."

"Your wish is my command. Our plan is: eat, go home and rest a bit, then pregame with Andie and we're going partying."

"Solid. Let's do it."

To say the night was going to be different was an understatement. Elena had drunk a bottle of wine by herself and was electric. The Massive Party Spotify playlist blasted out of Elena’s room. Andrea arrived half a bottle into the pregame and caught up quickly. Carlos saw the girls getting ready and shook his head. "I wish you good luck. You're going to need it. Don't let her lose her mobile." and left for a date. Tom laughed nervously.

The first stop was a club in the City Centre. 

"Watch your things, there's loads of pickpockets here," warned Andrea as they walked in. 

Shots of tequila ensued. Elena and Andrea followed the music with their hips and soon enough, they were surrounded by vultures. Tom got in between the girls and started dancing with them to shoo the men off. He was drunk, but he was on duty. 

When one man tried to cut him off, Elena stopped him. "We don't want to dance with you. We're together."

"Well, you can be with me," the man smiled. 

"I think it's pretty obvious that we have a thing for blondes," Elena smiled and kissed Tom in the corner of his mouth and then Andrea did the same.

"Yeah, mate, back off. They're taken," said Tom, wrapping his arms around the girls' waists.

Fortunately, he did leave. 

“Ugh, I hate having to do that shit,” said Elena, “But I do have a thing for blondes,” she giggled.


After a few hours there, they got bored and ended up in a salsa bar. The team was so drunk at this point that they didn't care they were making fools of themselves with their wannabe dancing. 

"This is the only place in Brussels where people don't automatically think I'm a good dancer because I can move my hips," she yelled in Tom's ear and laughed. 

It was 5 am when they left.

“This is so much fuuuuuuuuun!!!!!” Andrea screamed running barefoot in the street while Tom and Elena laughed at her.

The three of them landed on Elena’s bed with a thud.

Tom awoke by the sound of cooking in the kitchen. His limbs were mixed with Elena and Andrea's. The girls were spooning. He slid off quietly and went to the sink to splash cold water on his face and opened the door. Carlos looked at him and laughed. 

“I guess I should have warned you a bit more. Coffee?” Carlos was making pancakes. 

“Oh god, that’d be amazing, mate. Thanks,” said Tom, sitting on a chair so everything would stop spinning. 

He poured Tom a cup of black coffee. “How do you drink it?”

“I’ll do that, mate. Don’t worry,” he stood up again slowly to fetch milk and sugar.

“Did Andrea come back with you guys last night?”

“Yeah, why?”

“Trying to see how many pancakes I have to make,” said Carlos.

“Mate, that’s so kind of you,” said Tom.

“Yes. But, it’s also kind of part of our agreement. Elena makes our food for the week with the condition that I take care of the weekends if we’re both in.”

“What? That’s an amazing arrangement. You are aware you won, right?”

“I am aware I won. Besides, there’s no arrangement for desserts, and she loves baking.”

“Mate, you’re a bloody role model. Cheers to you.”

“Thanks, man.”

“So… what about this Jack person? He’s your best friend, no? What’s his deal with Elena?”

Tom laughed. “I figured this would happen sooner or later.”

“Sooner, because she’ll tell me off if she hears me.”

“Mate, I know it seems strange and that they’re mental, but I’ve never seen my mate like that. He was absolutely head over heels for Elena. I understand it, obviously, because she’s great, but I never imagined it would be that intense, that quickly.”

Carlos was trying to decide if he was satisfied with that answer. “I don’t know.”

“I understand.”

“No, dude, I don’t think you do. Jack’s your friend from university, no? I’ve known Elena since 2006. I’ve seen the parade of morons. One right after another. And we’ve always taken care of her, and lately she was making sound choices again, but she goes away for two weeks and now she’s dating some guy that she knows nothing about? I don’t know. She’s like my sister. You have to see where I’m coming from.”

Tom nodded. “I do see where you’re coming from, and I can see why you would suspect, but just give him a chance, yeah? He’s a great lad. If you don’t think he’s worthy, then she’ll dump him and it’ll be a funny story later. Just don’t tell him I said that.”

Carlos laughed. “I think you’re a good guy.”

“Thanks, mate. I appreciate it. Now, should I wake up these women? I’m starving.”

"Ellie, Andie, wake up. Brekkie's done," Tom's voice was soft. 

The girls groaned. They were rough. Really rough.

Carlos laughed as soon as he saw them leave Elena's bedroom. 

"I take it was a fun night," he said.

"You had better made all the bacon we had," said Elena, looking disgusting, honestly. Her mascara smeared, her hair, greasy, and in a bun.

"I did. Sit. Eat."

The group ate slowly, trying to savour the food and not get sick afterwards, but it would prove to be a challenge. 

Elena had mysterious bruises in her legs and Andrea's feet were filthy. They agreed that a shower could do them good. Andrea used Elena's and Ellie went to Carlos'. 

Tom had, unsurprisingly, texts from Jack.

Jack: how was last night?


Jack: bloody hell I saw her Instagram stories. How bad was it?


Jack: should I be worried?


Jack: should I just try to forget her?


Jack: this is unhealthy.  


Jack: I'm losing my bloody mind.

Tom rang Jack. 

"Hey," Jack sounded defeated.

"Mate, you have got to stop. It is unhealthy, but because you're not keeping it together. You knew this would be difficult. She has a life here. Nothing bad happened last night. We partied and the three of us collapsed on her bed at 5 am. She could have had any guy last night and she turned them all down. Give her a break and stop pushing her. You're going to end up driving her away."

A heavy sigh was heard on the other end. "Yer right."

"Of course I'm bloody right. We have to talk when I get back, but you have to trust me when I tell you that you need to stop pushing so much," Tom said, shaking his head, concerned. 

Andrea turned off the water. 

"Mate, I've to go before it gets suspicious. We'll talk tomorrow."

"Aye, all right," Jack said.

Andrea, Tom, and Elena, all showered, were lied on Elena's bed watching Casablanca. 

"This is such a bloody amazing film," said Elena.

"A great way to do hungover Saturdays," said Andrea. 

"After we're done, would you like to get some air? Walk around?" asked Tom. 

Andrea and Elena looked at each other and nodded. 

"Nothing too extreme, though," said Elena. 

"Maybe walk around and settle in a park somewhere?" asked Andrea.

"That sounds pretty good," said Tom as he reached for his mobile, "Selfie to prove we made it."

Elena and Andrea turned and smiled. 

"You can send that to Jack so he sees the people I've slept with this weekend," said Elena, half-joking, half-serious.

Andrea laughed and Tom shook his head. Elena knew Jack as well as he knew her. 

"I'll leave it in my Instagram," said Tom. He tagged the girls and captioned it 'Barely alive in Brussels thanks to these two. #DidISalsaLastNight'

His phone vibrated immediately. He immediately assumed it was Jack, but he was surprised.

Harry: Mate. Harry: Mate, who's the fit bird that's with you and Elena?

Tom shook his head. He knew where this would go.

Tom: Elena's best friend here. Her name is Andrea. Harry: I am going to Brussels next week. I need to meet her. Tom: Mate, please don't come before Jack. Are you mental? Harry:  Shit, you're right. When's he going? Tom: I think late next week? You can ask him. Harry: I don't want to get punched on a Saturday. I'm rough as fuck. Tom: Don't be a wanker then. Wait for him to come. Harry: What's she like? Tom: She's well cool, mate. I like her a lot. Harry: Are you going to take her from me? Tom: See you tomorrow, Harold.

Harry kept texting Tom during the day, and Tom ignored him. 

Tom and Elena were stood waiting for the bus that would take Tom to the airport. 

“When will you come visit?” Tom asked. 

Elena shrugged. 

“So, you’re not going to come to London until you and Jack have figured out what the fuck you’ll be doing?”

Elena shrugged. “Can you see me going to London and not seeing him and just visiting you?”

“Well, you’re my mate, so yeah. Harry and Fionn would love to see you too,” Tom hit her playfully on the shoulder.

“Do you know your friend?”

Silence.

The bus parked and its doors opened. 

Tom turned to Elena and smiled. “Mate, I’ve absolutely loved this weekend. Please, think about coming soon. I have to get you pissed now and run barefoot on the streets of London,” Tom smiled the most genuine smile ever and Elena’s heart melted. He was a cutie.

“Enough with your charm! Go away!” Elena pushed him away. Tom laughed and came closer for a hug. 

“See you soon then?” Tom kissed her cheek, grabbed his bag and got on the bus. She smiled and waved.

Tom made his way into the flat and Harry and Jack were waiting for him. They stood up quickly and Tom groaned.

“Let me at least go to the loo,” said Tom, shaking his head. 

“A brew, mate?” asked Harry.

“Make it a beer if you are going to harass me,” said Tom as he closed the bathroom door. 

“A beer sounds nice. Jack, you want one?” asked Harry as he made his way to the refrigerator and took out two beers.

“Aye, please,” said Jack.

Tom came back to the living room/kitchen area wearing black shorts and a white t-shirt. “All right. We’ll start with you because I have more information.” “What did she say?” asked Jack, almost in pain. 

“She did admit she had some intimacy issues, but she said she likes you. You just need to realise that you’re not going at the same speed. Back off a bit. You said you wanted to try long-distance, so bloody try long-distance, not ‘ohmygodIneedtoseeyounowimmediatelywhencanIgo’, because you’re going to drive her off. I invited her to come here and she doesn’t want to until you two have reached some sort of balance, whatever she meant by that.”

“Maybe she’s not as into me as I am her,” Jack sighed. 

“Well, mate, that’s obvious,” Harry laughed.

Jack punched him in the shoulder. “Why are ye here again?”

Harry smiled. “Elena’s fit friend.”

Jack rolled his eyes at Harry. 

“She said you’re gorgeous, smitten with her, and -this is a direct quote-, a fantastic fuck, but-.”

Harry jumped on Jack. “That’s my boy! Well done, my good sir!”

Jack laughed nervously and loosened up a bit. “So, back off a bit. Should I cancel the ticket?”

“No, mate, I don’t think you have to. That’s in two weeks, no?”

“Ten days.”

“Well, I’m thinking that if you play your cards right starting today, when you go you’ll have the desired effect.”

“Okay. So I back off.”

“You back off, just a wee bit, mate. Let her miss you. Let her come to you.”

“Okay. I can do that.”

“Mate, if this goes well, you can fantastically fuck her brains out when you go. It’s a win-win,” Harry smiled. 

Tom turned to Harry. “Okay, what do you want to know?”

“Does she have a boyfriend?”

“No.”

“Great, because Harry Styles is going to be her boyfriend. What’s she like?”

“I told you, mate. She’s well cool. She’s our age, younger than Elena. They work together in DG CONNECT. Real easygoing, sharp brain. I don’t know if she’ll go for you.”

“Hey! What’s that supposed to mean?” Harry faked indignation. 

“Well, you two decided to set your eyes on women smarter than you, eh? Deal with the consequences.”

“I’m going to go to Brussels to sweep that girl off her feet,” Harry said confidently.

“If ye go to Brussels before I do, Harry, I swear to god…” Jack couldn’t even finish the sentence.

“Relax, mate. I’m your boy, yeah? If anything, I need you to go first, so you can meet her and start throwing compliments my way as I know you can,” Harry smiled at that last bit. 

Jack laughed and shook his head. 

“Lads, I’m starving. Pizza?”

“Mate, I’ve left the game recording. Want to watch it?” Harry asked.

They agreed.

NEXT: All bets are off

[inyournightmares97]

NO JAM

In which Bambam likes parties, but only when a certain person is around.

Warnings: Strong language, extensive partying (because Bambam, lmao)

Word Count: 4.3k+

Hey,

Everyone gather round,

Girl, not over there, over here

Put off all your worries until tomorrow

The first time Bambam saw her, it was at a party.

It had been one of Jackson Wang’s parties, which were often filled with so many people that it was hard to find somebody you did know. Yugyeom was in charge of the music, and Bambam was hanging around near the sound system as the two of them selected what songs to play. It was about halfway into the party when a slightly tipsy girl had approached, glaring at them angrily.

“You do know this is the fifth Chris Brown song you buffoons have played tonight?” she demanded, voice slightly slurred. She was hot; Bambam had to tear his eyes away from the sliver of skin showing above her jeans and her low-cut top. “Do you want to know how shitty my week has been? I put up with so much in the hopes of finally getting drunk and letting loose on Friday and you morons are not going to ruin my mood by playing shitty music.”

Yugyeom looked startled, while Bambam watched her, amused.

“Uh- what do you want us to play-“

“Move.” She snatched the phone that was connected to the speakers and scrolled through it, her expression becoming more horrified by the second as she looked at the collection of songs on the playlist. “This won’t do,” she said firmly. She began typing furiously and a few seconds, the opening notes of a Bigbang song started playing. She handed the cellphone back to Yugyeom.

“Change it and I will murder you.”

Bambam’s eyes following her as she strutted away to re-join a group of people, and started dancing with them. She was clearly drunk because she was dancing a little wildly and he found himself smiling when she whacked somebody in the face by accident and had to stop dancing to apologize to them.

“She looks like a lot of fun, eh?” Bambam mused lightly.

Yugyeom gave him a knowing look. “Forget it. She’s out of your league. Also, she seems kind of crabby.”

“She just doesn’t like Chris Brown. It can happen,” Bambam mused. By the time he turned around to find the girl again, though, she had disappeared. He frowned and looked around. Where had she gone? He suddenly realized that the group of people she had been with were gone too and he frowned. Damn it. He hadn’t even gotten her name. Pity. He would have liked to know her.

X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X

Hey, Save me a spot next to you,

You say that I’m selfish but you can’t win,

Because you already want me.

The second time Bambam saw her, the circumstances were considerably different.

He was waiting outside Jinyoung’s elite, overly-prestigious university, having borrowed the older boy’s car for a couple of days to take a short road trip. Jinyoung was anal about his belongings and would probably throw a huge fit at some invisible scratch that he was convinced Bambam had made on his precious car. Bambam was preparing himself for the tantrum, twirling the keys as he waited in the University parking lot.

“Yeah, hyung, I’m outside. Your car’s fine,” Bambam reassured him.

Jinyoung scoffed over the line. “You’ll be paying for the damages, Bambam, I’m not worried. Where exactly are you? I’m on my way.”

Bambam narrowed his eyes to read the sign on the building near him. “I’m outside the…. Uh… the T-thermo-dynamics Lab? Is that how you pronounce it? Hyung, please hurry up. I’m getting weird looks from your nerdy, smart-ass college mates here.”

“That’s cause you’re wearing an animal print jacket. I see you.”

Bambam hung up and raised a hand in greeting at Jinyoung. He was approaching from across the lawn, carrying a pile of books in his arms and closely followed by a young girl who was struggling to keep up with Jinyoung’s strides. As they neared, Bambam could hear the girl talking to Jinyoung in a rapid, worried tone.

“- and Professor Lee was being completely unreasonable about letting me change the topic of my thesis. Do you think I should talk to her again, sunbaenim? That hypothesis is all but disproved, wouldn’t I just be wasting my time conducting all those experiments to establish something we know already?” the girl was rattling on. “I noticed that all the physics majors who got amazing grades on their theses all came up with new and innovative hypotheses but-“

Jinyoung cut her off briefly. “Can you hold that thought for a second, Chaeun? Bambam! The hell did you do to my taillight?”

Bambam winced slightly. “Ah- I’ll pay for that, hyung-“

“You are so dead. You’re going to get a bill for that tomorrow!” Jinyoung snapped, as he walked around the car to inspect it for any less obvious damage. The girl, Chaeun, was standing awkwardly, clutching books in her arms and pushing her large glasses up her nose. She turned and made eye contact with Bambam and her eyes widened slightly.

“Hey!” Bambam cried, surprised. “Aren’t you that girl from Jackson’s party?”

The girl’s eyes were the size of dinner plates, and she was shaking her head at him rapidly, placing a finger over her lips to signal Bambam to be quiet. Jinyoung, who had been inspecting his windows, glanced up. “Jackson’s party?” he asked distractedly.

Chaeun laughed awkwardly. “Jackson- who’s Jackson?” she asked.

Bambam frowned. “I swear I saw you at the party! You were the drunk girl who came up to me and Yugyeom last Friday, you scolded him for playing Chris Brown songs. Remember?” he pressed. Jinyoung was looking between them curiously.

“Really? You were at Jackson’s party, Chaeun?” Jinyoung asked with raised eyebrows.

Chaeun shook her head rapidly. “No way, sunbaenim! I, uh- I was at the library on Friday working on my thesis. How would I have gone to a party? You must be mistaken.”

Bambam frowned. “But I swear-“

Jinyoung rolled his eyes. “Shut up, Bambam. Leave her alone. Chaeun, why don’t we talk about your thesis tomorrow? Meet me after class with a summary of your thesis topic and we’ll discuss its viability. If there’s honestly no scope then I’ll have a word with Professor Lee for you.”

Chaeun beamed and nodded. “Thank you, sunbaenim!”

Jinyoung snatched his keys from Bambam before getting into his car and driving away. Bambam was left feeling a little confused, when he suddenly felt a book hit his arm, hard. He winced and turned to look at the girl in shock. Chaeun was glaring at him and there was no doubt she was the same girl from Jackson’s party. “You idiot!” she snapped. “What is wrong with you? I was signaling for you to keep your mouth shut!”

Bambam pouted. “So you are the girl from the party? Why did you want me to keep quiet?”

“Because you were just about to tell my mentor and sunbae that I was out partying last Friday night instead of working on my thesis,” she pointed out, as though it was obvious. Bambam folded his arms across his chest and smiled. He had to admit, Chaeun looked very different. Her hair was tied up in a bun and there were thick glasses on her face. Nothing like the girl from the party in the tight jeans. “I can’t possibly finish my thesis without Jinyoung-sunbae’s help, so don’t make me look bad in front of him, okay?”

“I see,” Bambam replied.

“Good. So keep your mouth shut.”

“I won’t say anything to Jinyoung-hyung,” he agreed with a grin. “If you agree to get coffee with me.”  

X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X

DJ turn the music up, sick beat,

Here on the dance floor today with me,

Swing your body,

Come to my table and let’s drink up

Chaeun had to admit, her relationship with Bambam was a weird one.

They spent Friday nights at whatever party was being thrown in the area that weekend, or at the nearest club, madly drunk and dancing wildly. Bambam was a blast to be around and the two of them were often matching each other shot-for-shot and showing off their moves until their bodies were sore and they were severely hung-over the next day.

On normal weekdays, though, Bambam would often stop by her university after her classes ended and they would find a cozy corner in the nearest coffee shop, sipping on Americanos and whining about how anal Jinyoung-hyung was, and how Chaeun’s professor was a sexist pig, and how the raisin-bran muffins tasted disgusting so why did the café even sell them?

There was literally no in-between.

Chaeun was just leaving class on Friday evening when her phone buzzed with a new text message. She opened it, already knowing that it was going to be from Bambam. He never failed to text her on Fridays. It was mostly to invite her out with his friends; Chaeun found herself partying in a group with Yugyeom and Jungkook and Lisa most of the time, but sometimes they would all be busy and Bambam would still insist that the he and Chaeun hit the clubs.

“They’re no fun,” he would say dismissively when Yugyeom would claim to have an exam on Monday, or Lisa would ditch them for a date with her boyfriend. “Let’s just go ourselves? We don’t need them.”

It was a de-stress thing, and the week felt odd without partying on Friday night. Chaeun knew it wasn’t completely normal. Neither of them ever went home with anybody. Chaeun wasn’t even interested in hooking up with random guys- frankly, she found the idea of waking up in a stranger’s bed kind of scary. Despite Bambam’s hard-partying ways, she’d never once seen him hook up with a girl or even disappear at the end of the night. No matter how drunk they were or how late it was, he would always drop her off at home himself.

Somewhere along the line, Chaeun had begun to gradually grow more and more fond of Bambam.

The text message that she received today was similar to the usual ones. She slid the chat open and read it silently to herself.

‘Dude, Jaebum-hyung’s birthday party today. I’ll text you the address. It’ll be awesome, we bought a shit load of booze already.’

Chaeun tilted her head slightly. The dude part bothered her a little; it made her feel like she was getting bro-zoned but she forced herself not to pay it much mind. Bambam talked like that, he probably thought it was cool. His slight childishness was endearing after a while.

She texted back. ‘Who is this Jaebum-hyung? I don’t know him.’

Bambam’s reply was instant. ‘Who cares? He’s cool. Do you need me to pick you up?’

‘No, I’ll be there.’

She had just slid her phone back into her pocket, when a familiar figure appeared in front of her. Jinyoung was approaching her with glasses perched on his nose as he balanced a few files in his arms. Chaeun smiled at him politely. She was not ashamed to admit that she’d once had a crush on Park Jinyoung; his boyfriend sweaters and polite mannerisms were enough to make any girl swoon. But that had faded away recently, and Chaeun started finding him a little boring and uptight, more than anything else.

“Chaeun!” Jinyoung greeted her with a kind smile. “How are you doing?”

“Ah- I’m doing fine, sunbae-nim. How are you?”

“Not bad. I haven’t heard from you lately. How’s the thesis going? I thought you would mail me your progress last week. I hope you haven’t come across any hurdles in your research?” he asked kindly.

How can I come across hurdles when I haven’t even researched anything? she thought to herself. She’d been so busy lately that she’d barely had time to work on it. Chaeun felt a little ashamed to admit that to Jinyoung, though. All her classmates agreed that she was lucky to have him as a mentor. The last thing she wanted him to think was that she wasn’t serious about her academics.

“Oh- that- I’ve been kind of busy, sunbae-nim, I haven’t made much progress…” she admitted reluctantly.

Jinyoung gave her a disappointed look. “I know exams are nearing, but you shouldn’t slow progress on your thesis, Chaeun. It’s better to have your full draft prepared well in advance.”

Chaeun panicked. “I know, I know! I’m going to work on it all weekend, and I’ll send you my progress by Monday, sunbae-nim. I have a couple of deviations I wanted to run by you first, so maybe on Monday…”

Jinyoung nodded. “Sounds great. I look forward to reading it.”

Chaeun winced slightly as Jinyoung walked away. How was she going to get the work done by Monday in time to show it to Jinyoung-sunbae? She’d literally have to work with a hangover tomorrow morning, assuming that Bambam convinced her to take as many shots as he usually did. Should she skip the party and work on her thesis? She sighed as her phone buzzed again.

It was another text from Bambam, this time containing Jaebum’s address.

Well, then. Working with a hangover over the weekend it was.

X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X

A party without you is no fun,

Everything can only start once you’re here,

I feel like, oh no, I don’t feel good.

“Dude!” Bambam greeted her, once she entered the jam-packed apartment.

It was crowded and filled with sweaty bodies and the smell of alcohol; the best kind of party there was. Chaeun had taken a few seconds to spot Bambam and Yugyeom. Bambam had come hurrying over to her instantly, and had given her a hug in greeting. She took a deep whiff of his deodorant and hugged him back lightly before releasing him. Bambam’s hair was up; his forehead was showing and he looked surprisingly handsome.

“You dressed up today,” she teased him lightly. “Is that hair gel?”

Bambam rolled his eyes. “Ha ha. Nice try, you can’t possibly make me feel self-conscious when I look this good. Besides, what are you wearing? Is that a sweatshirt? Seriously?” he demanded. Chaeun had felt insulted the first couple of times Bambam had commented on her clothing, but then she realized he did it to everyone. In a weird way, it was flattering to have a guy notice what you were wearing. Besides, he never hesitated to compliment her when she looked hot.

“Yeah. I kind of have to leave early today.”

“Early?” his face fell. “You can’t. Dude, there’s tequila here, we’re going to challenge Yugyeom to shots until he passes out. His girlfriend dumped him yesterday.”

She winced slightly at the dude again and sighed. “Sorry, Bambam. Trust me, I want to let loose too, but I haven’t made any progress on my thesis lately. Jinyoung-sunbae’s been asking me for updates and I have no answer for him.”

“Come on, you can work on it some other time!” Bambam whined. He noticed somebody about to bump into Chaeun from behind and quickly grabbed her arm, pulling her into his side so the drunken guy didn’t stumble all over her. “Dude! Watch where you’re going!” he snapped irritably at the stranger.

Chaeun cleared her throat and pushed herself away from Bambam slightly. “Sorry, Bambam. I’ll do a beer or two before I leave, though. Is that the drinks cooler?” she wondered.

“Yeah, yeah. I’ll get you one. You go join Lisa, she’s over there,” he replied. He sounded a little disgruntled as he walked away. Chaeun sighed and headed over to Lisa, who was waving at her eagerly. Bambam disappeared into the crowd. He didn’t re-appear for some time. Chaeun chatted with a slightly tipsy Lisa for a while until she suddenly saw a familiar face that made her heart drop into her chest.

Shit, shit, shit. Was that Jinyoung-sunbae?

Chaeun ducked and hid behind Lisa reflexively, feeling her heartbeat thud. It was definitely Jinyoung, he was holding a beer and talking to some random guy a little distance away. Chaeun cursed inside her head and Lisa giggled at her behavior.

“What are you doing?” Lisa asked with a laugh.

“Oh no, no, no. What is Jinyoung-sunbae doing here?” Chaeun whined as she crouched behind Lisa. Jinyoung wasn’t looking at her, but he could turn and see her at any moment. “I thought he didn’t go to parties like this! Doesn’t he go to the library on Fridays or study group or something?”

Lisa laughed. “Jinyoung-oppa? He’s childhood friends with Jaebum-oppa so of course he would come to his birthday party.”

“I have to get out of here.”

Chaeun hurriedly bid Lisa goodbye and stuck her back to the wall as she slowly snuck a good distance away. She was about to sneak out of the front door, when she realized she couldn’t just leave without telling Bambam. He would become whiny as hell later and complain about her leaving without saying anything. She looked around desperately and spotted Bambam by the drinks cooler, talking to Yugyeom and Jungkook. Bending her knees slightly, Chaeun weaved in between the crowd of people without being seen.

She caught a whiff of their conversation as she neared.

“-was going to do it, tonight,” Bambam was saying, sounding annoyed. “Dude, you have no idea how long I pep-talked myself in front of the mirror for hours before the party. I honestly thought it would be tonight-“

Yugyeom cut him off. “Just do it, man. You don’t have to be drunk to do it. Stop being a wimp.”

”Yeah, but if it doesn’t work out then how do I explain myself-“

Chaeun reached Bambam and poked him in the back sharply, hissing. “Bambam!” she hissed. Bambam whirled around to face her, eyes wide. He blinked at her for a few moments and stammered.

“uh- Ch-Chaeun-“

“Why didn’t you tell me Jinyoung-sunbae was going to be here?” she hissed, poking his arm a little harder this time. She was annoyed now. “What if he sees me here? I’m supposed to be working on my thesis, you didn’t feel the need to tell me that Jinyoung-sunbae was best friends with the birthday boy?”

Bambam blinked. “Uh-“

“Look, I have to get out of here before he sees me, or I risk breaking all trust my mentor has in me. I’ll see you later, okay? Have fun,” she cut him off. Before Bambam could protest, Chaeun had slipped away. She weaved her way over to the front door and finally made it out, breathing a sigh of relief that she had escaped unseen. She lifted the hood of her sweater and used it to cover her head when the front door opened again. Bambam burst out, panting slightly.

“Oh- you’re still- here,” he said breathlessly. “Wait up, I’ll come with you.”

“What? No. Go enjoy your party.”

“It’s no fun without you,” Bambam replied simply. He slipped his arm into hers and started leading her down the corridor. “Let’s get out of here. I’m pretty sure that all-night café is still open down the street. You can buy me coffee to pay me back for ruining the party for me.”

“Ruining the- hey! It’s your fault! You could have told me Jinyoung-sunbae would be here!” she protested.

Bambam’s cheeks flushed slightly red. “It slipped my mind, okay? I was preoccupied.”

“Oh? Exactly how many thoughts can that tiny brain of yours process in one go?” Chaeun challenged.

“To be honest, not many.”

“I thought so.”

“Especially when you’re around, it becomes a sort of one-track thing.”

Chaeun blinked. “Huh?”

He turned to face her suddenly, stopping in the middle of the corridor. Bambam looked nervous and his hands suddenly lifted up to cup her cheeks, causing the hood of her sweatshirt to fall backwards. He took a step closer and bit his lip slightly.

“I imagined us both a little more drunk when I did this.”

Chaeun froze, the look in his eyes making her heartbeat thud. There was no denying what he was talking about; the desperate look in Bambam’s eyes and the way his warm palms cupped her cheeks made it obvious. She stared up at him, her mouth falling open slightly. Her heartbeat was thudding. “Why would you want to be drunk for this?” she wondered quietly.

“So if it didn’t work out, I could blame it on the alcohol,” he confessed.

“That’s a stupid plan.”

“I know.”

“But to be honest, I didn’t expect anything better from you.”

“Yeah?”

Chaeun nodded. She brought her hands up to grasp his shirt near his collar, fisting the cloth into her hands as she used the grip to pull him downwards. Bambam leaned down obediently, letting her press her lips to his firmly. The kiss was still for a moment, before he pulled her closer, flush against his body and kissed her harder. Chaeun pulled away only once she was out of breath.

“Wow-“ Bambam began.

“Shut up, don’t ruin it by talking,” she snapped. Bambam blinked, before pushing her firmly against the wall of the corridor. Chaeun felt her back hit it before his lips were back on hers. The kiss was more lustful this time, and he managed to coax her mouth open gently while his hands stroked down her sides. Chaeun could feel her heartbeat thudding as his fingers slid under her sweatshirt. His cold hands were on her hot skin and her head was spinning madly-

“Chaeun? Bambam?”

It was like someone had splashed cold water on her face. Chaeun recognized Jinyoung’s voice and started to pull away, but Bambam instantly brought his hands up to grip her cheeks and keep his lips pressed to hers. Chaeun struggled for a moment, horrified. “Bambam-“ she mumbled against his lips. “Let-go-“

“Ignore him, he’ll go away,” Bambam muttered, letting his lips trail down her jawline as he sucked at her skin. Chaeun was torn between letting herself melt into Bambam’s grip and pushing him away roughly. It took a few seconds for her to gather her senses considering the way his tongue was flicking at her neck, but she finally managed to shove him off. Her head turned to look at the doorway where Jinyoung was blinked at them, eyebrows raised in a look of pure disgust.

Bambam whined. “Hyung, can’t you go away?”

“I expected nothing better from you,” Jinyoung replied simply, glancing at Bambam. Then his eyes flickered over to Chaeun, who looked like she wanted to die. “Are you messing around with this guy, or are you two actually dating?” he wondered.

Chaeun flushed and glanced at Bambam. “Uh-“

“I was going to ask her to be my girlfriend-“ Bambam cut in hurriedly. “But she ran away from the party because you were there. Don’t you think you’ve cockblocked me enough, hyung?”

Jinyoung ignored him, his eyes fixed on Chaeun with pure disappointment written on his face, Chaeun felt her heartbeat thud. Oh no. As excited as she had been about Bambam finally making a move on her, was this going to cost her an amazing mentor? What could she do? Her reputation was ruined! Should she pretend to be drunk? Or high? Would that make things worse? Either way, she’d lied-

“What you two do is none of my business,” Jinyoung said finally. He frowned at Chaeun. “I better get that draft of your thesis by Monday, or you can look for a new mentor.”

Chaeun breathed a sigh of relief. Okay. He wasn’t abandoning her yet, she still had a chance. Jinyoung shot them one last glare before disappearing back into the party. Chaeun let herself sink back against the wall, her knees suddenly feeling weak from the kiss and the stress of being caught. She glared at Bambam and whacked him in the arm.

“Ow!”

“Did you have to kiss me right here? You couldn’t have waited until we were in private?”

Bambam pouted slightly, rubbing his arm. “I didn’t hear you complaining while we were kissing. Be honest. You liked it, right? I know I’m a great kisser. Girls have told me. Did I ever tell you that it’s always been the girl who-“

“-confesses to you first? Yeah, I know.” Chaeun snapped. “Bye.”

Bambam panicked as she began to walk away. “Wait, where are you going? Don’t leave!”

“Didn’t you hear Jinyoung-sunbae? He wants my thesis by Monday, that means I have to go start working now.”

Bambam’s plump lips were still pouting and he grabbed Chaeun’s hand before she could start walking away. He stepped closer to her, bringing his face inches away from hers and his hand squeezed hers gently. “You’re going to leave just like that? You won’t answer hyung’s question?”

Chaeun smirked and played innocent. “What question?”

“Whether we’re messing around, or you seriously want to date me,” Bambam mumbled, pressing his lips to the corner of her mouth. It was softer and sweeter than before, no longer filled with lust. He looked a little nervous as he blinked at her. “You know I would make an amazing boyfriend. I’m the coolest guy ever. And I know I’m a little wild, and I might not be as smart as Jinyoung-sunbae or the other guys at your college-”

Chaeun leaned up and kissed him lightly. “Don’t be humble. It doesn’t suit you.”

“-face it, you’ll never find a guy as awesome as me.”

“I spoke too soon.”

Bambam grinned. “What do you say?”

“If I manage to hand in the draft of my thesis by Monday and Jinyoung-sunbae is still my mentor by this time next week…” Chaeun grinned. “Then I’ll be your girlfriend.”

“I have to wait that long?” he whined.

“Yup. In the meantime, lover boy, you can go and suck up to my mentor. Preferably get him lots and lots of drinks so he’s still hung-over on Monday,” she replied with a wink.

Bambam grinned back at her. “Will do.”

X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X

[daveeddiggsit]

Hooked

Hooked | Guard

Series: Worth Fighting For

Note: Hey! This is Day 1 for write-a-thon! I’m kicking it off with part one to an amazing series that I’m super excited for. Like, seriously, I’m so fucking excited to share this series with you guys. I really enjoyed writing it. Also, I’m gonna try to incorporate boxing terms into each title for this series...I’m gonna fail, but might as well try lmao.

Word Count: 3623

Pairing: Thomas Jefferson x Reader

AU: Boxing

Warnings: No smut...yet.

Summary: Thomas Jefferson, a world-famous boxer who is pegged as a self-centered asshole that has everything — good looks, fame, fortune, talent — trains for his big fight against Alexander Hamilton. When he moves to Washington D.C. to be closer to his family, he meets someone who will look past his outer shell and get to know the real him.

“The #2 pound-for-pound fighter and current world cruiserweight champion Thomas Jefferson is rumored to have moved to Washington D.C. for personal reasons. Many are wondering how this is going to affect preparations for his big match in three months when he defends his title against the rookie Alexander Hamil–”

Thomas turned off the TV with a sigh. He was sick of this. The media never gave him a break; they were always up in his business, exposing everything that went on in his personal life for profit. Thomas felt like he never had a break from anything. But then again, he wasn't supposed to be taking it easy. He was supposed to be training for a huge fight he had in three months, but instead he was in his new, half-unpacked apartment in the center of D.C.

Thomas’ thoughts were interrupted by his phone ringing in his right pocket. He groaned as soon as he saw the caller ID before he pressed the green button, holding it up to his ear.

“What?” Thomas snapped, somehow already annoyed with the person on the other line.

“What the hell are you doing in D.C.?”

“None of your damn business. I don't have to explain myself to you.” Thomas said in a monotonous voice. “I’m not your puppet.”

“Of course it's my business, you're my son.” His father voiced. “You're in D.C. because of your mother, aren't you?”

“I’m in D.C. because I care about my family unlike someone else I know.”

“Oh please,” his father scoffed, “I care.”

“You haven't seen Mom in years. You know what she’s been going through ever since Anna–”

“She's not my responsibility anymore. We separated years ago.”

Thomas clenched his jaw angrily. “You are such a heartless, narcissistic pri–”

“Shut your mouth, Thomas. I didn't call you to argue with you about nonsense. I called you to make sure you were on track with training even though you clearly disobeyed my orders to stay put in LA.”

“Why is everything about my career? Why can't you just be a normal father and care about whether or not I had a safe flight, or–”

“Because I am not a normal father, and you are not normal either. I am Peter Jefferson, boxing hall-of-famer with more world titles under my belt than I can count.” Peter lectured. “And you? You are Thomas Jefferson, my son who followed in my footsteps and became a professional boxer. And you are currently on your way to the hall of fame. It's simple. We are nowhere near close to being a normal family, so don't even try to say anything otherwise.”

Thomas closed his eyes and let out a defeated sigh before his dad continued to speak.

“Listen, you better be training for this fight coming up in three months. This Hamilton kid is rising up to fame and you can't let him knock you off your feet. We can't underestimate anything under any circumstances. You will not lose your title and undefeated streak to an underdog. You're a Jefferson; Jeffersons don't lose.”

Thomas rolled his eyes. “I'm not worried about him. He’s sloppy, acts on impulse. From what I’ve seen, he lacks height as well.” He sighed, rubbing his facial hair frustratedly. “And don't worry, I’m still training. I heard about this place a couple blocks away and it should be as good as the one in LA...so don't get your panties in a twist. I'm still gonna be sharp even though I’m across the country.”

“Thomas,” Peter grumbled. “If Hamilton so much as lands a clean punch to your face–”

Thomas let out a curt laugh. “What are you gonna do, cut me off?”

“That's exactly what I’m going to do.”

“Oh, I’m so scared. What will I do without you? It's not like I’m an adult living on my own with everything I could possibly need...oh wait.”

“I’m serious. If you lose this fight, I’m dropping you from your contract. I may be your father, but I am also your agent/manager. If you're smart and want your career to move forward, it'd be wise to do as I say.”

Whatever. Thomas wanted to say as he rolled his eyes again. Instead, he said something equally as passive aggressive. “Noted. Bye, Dad.” He spat the word out sarcastically before he ended the call, throwing his phone on the cushion next to him. He groaned into his hands. Why was his father such an asshole?

Less than a minute later, Thomas’ favorite playlist was blasting through his newly unpacked sound system. The boxer desperately needed to clear his head before the next day came around, and loud music was the way to do it.

A half an hour into Thomas’ temporary peace, he was interrupted when he heard a couple of knocks on his front door.

You tiredly stood outside of the apartment, wanting nothing more than to go to bed. It had been a long day, and you had to get up early the next morning for work. So when your new neighbor was keeping you awake because of his obnoxiously loud music, you had no other choice but to trek over a couple doors down to tell him off.

The music paused before the door swung open, then you were suddenly face to face — well, face to chest — with a shirtless guy who had a handsome face and a very toned upper body. He was attractive to say the least, and you had to keep yourself from staring.

In Thomas’ head, he was going through the same thing. You were extremely beautiful, and his usual charming persona had completely left him, leaving him to stumble over his words as he blinked at you.

“Can I– uh...can I help you?”

“Um yeah, hopefully. I live a couple apartments away and was wondering if you could turn your music down?” You started. “It’s just– I’m trying to sleep and I can’t because it’s too loud. I have work in the morning and–”

“Oh, yeah, it’s no problem. I actually have a super hard workout tomorrow morning, so…”

Was he attempting to show off or something to try and impress you? You raised an eyebrow at him and he quickly went on.

“–I’ll put headphones on. I don’t know why I didn’t think of that before…” Thomas said sheepishly, nervously rubbing the back of his neck. “Sorry ‘bout that.”

“It’s okay, no big deal. Thank you so much for understanding.” You said gratefully before you spun on your heel to walk back towards your apartment.

“Wait,” He called out after you. “I didn’t catch your name.”

“Y/N.” You stated over your shoulder. “Thanks again, neighbor!”

Jefferson watched you disappear behind a door a few away from his before he went back into his apartment. He had to go to sleep; his training started early in the morning with a run. He needed as much sleep as he could get.

After Thomas’ long morning run, he went to the training place a few blocks away from his apartment complex just like he told his father he would.

“3...2...1, okay stop. Take a break, Jefferson.” Thomas’ trainer, James, said.

The boxer panted heavily, slightly doubling over after jump roping for three minutes straight six times with only a 45 seconds of rest in between each rep.

“You’re out of shape, Thomas.”

“Shut up.” Thomas retorted in between intakes of breath. “It’s only been a week since I last trained. Plus, I had a late night last night.”

“And whose fault is that?” James asked with knowing look.

“Mine,” Jefferson breathed, straightening his back and putting his hands on his hips as he cooled down. “Dad called and stressed me out immensely, like he always does. Couldn’t clear my thoughts afterwards, which meant no sleep for me.”

He sighed before gesturing towards his duffle bag on a bench in the corner of the training complex. “I’m gonna go get some water, I’ll be right back.”

“Alright, but hurry up.” James said. “We’ve got work to do.”

You walked slowly as you tried to balance two decently heavy boxes on top of each other, attempting to transport them from the front door to the back of your family’s boxing gym.

Even though you didn’t box, the sport was still very present in your life. Your dad’s love for it was the spark for him to create his own training facility in the heart of the nation’s capital. He and your mother both worked together to make the gym as successful as it could be. Sadly, your father passed away before he could get the facility fully functioning, so your mom took over and asked you to help her out...and you did. You quit your job as a physical therapist and moved back to D.C. to help your mother make the gym into what your father had envisioned.

On top of managing a boxing training facility, the sport was so evident in your life, even your best friend Alex was immersed in it. He just went pro a few months ago and was currently training for a big fight in three months, causing him to move up to New York and train there instead so he could get more exposed to the media. Today was actually supposed to be his last day down in D.C. with you.

Your thoughts were interrupted when suddenly you collided with someone, making you almost drop the boxes in your hands. A pair of arms instinctively shot out to steady you.

You heard a voice from above you. “My bad, I didn’t mean to...”

You looked up, surprised with what had just happened in the past few seconds. You had somehow managed to bump into your hot, now sweaty — and still very shirtless (like jeez, did this guy own any shirts?) — neighbor while you were at work moving boxes for your mom. Wow.

“Oh hey, neighbor. Funny seeing you here,” you laughed, trying to play off your awkwardness.

“You work here?” He asked curiously, cocking his head slightly.

“Yeah, my family owns the place and needed some extra help, so here I am.” You sent a small smile his way, shifting to get a better grip on the bottom box.

“Oh, here, let me help you with that.” Thomas said, taking the boxes out from your hold, the wraps around his hands making it a bit difficult to have a firm grasp. “Where do you need them?”

You were surprised by his sudden forwardness to help you out. “Um, right over there is fine.” You said, pointing to a spot a couple feet away.

Once he set the boxes down, he jogged back over to you. “I don’t think we met properly last night.” He said.

“You’re right, we didn’t.” You chuckled, before giving him a small wave. “Hi, I’m Y/N L/N. I live two apartments away from you, and I work here.”

He smiled, sticking his wrapped hand out to shake yours before he quickly took it back. “Oh, wait– shit. I’m sweaty, sorry.” He ran a hand through his wild mess of hair.

You smirked at him. “Well, that's not what I expected your name to be, but nice to meet you, Sweaty.”

He rolled his eyes. “Ha ha, very funny.”

“I try to be.” You said before laughing. “No, but seriously. What is your name?”

“You don’t know who I am?”

“Oh no, please don't tell me you're one of those cocky fighters who think they're on the top of the world.”

Thomas’ eyes widened and he put his hands up as if he was defending himself against an opponent. “I'm not, trust me...at least I don't think I am…”

You rose your eyebrows, prompting him to continue.

“Thomas.”

You gave him a blank look. “Just ‘Thomas’? That’s it?”

The boxer smiled. “Wait, so you seriously don’t know who I am?”

You blinked at him. “No. I try to stay away from all this.” You gestured to the training complex. “Boxing is all my parents and best friend really talk about, so I try to separate myself from it as much as possible.”

“Ah, I see.” He nodded. “I understand that.”

After a couple of beats, you spoke up again. “So, no last name? Interesting.”

Thomas sighed, bowing his head slightly. “I don’t usually mention it. I don’t want people to look at me differently just because of a name.”

“What, is your dad a serial killer or something?”

He chuckled, letting a bright smile show up on his face. “No, nothing like that.”

“Then what’s so bad about your last name?”

“Nothing, nothing.” He brushed it off. “If you really wanna know, I’ll tell you, but–”

“No, it’s okay. I won’t pressure you.”

Thomas grinned. “Wow. Gorgeous, witty, funny, and sweet. Is there anything else I should know about you?”

You pondered his question for a moment with a light blush dusted on your cheeks, debating on whether you should be forward or not. Oh, what the hell, forwardness wouldn’t hurt, would it?

“Well, you should know that I'm free at six and we should totally grab a bite to eat somewhere downtown. Y’know, just because you’re new in town.”

“Oh, I’ll definitely take you up on th–”

“Jefferson?” An angry voice interrupted your conversation.

You looked slightly to the left to see your best friend glaring at the man in front of you.

Alexander walked to stand next to you. “Y/N, what are you doing talking to Jefferson?”

“Wait, you’re Thomas Jefferson? As in the undefeated, cruiserweight world champion who's the son of hall-of-famer Peter Jefferson?” You asked Thomas. No wonder he wanted to keep his name a secret; the guy was a world-famous boxer. Even though you didn’t recognize him at first, you had heard the name numerous times.

Alex nodded frantically while still glaring at him.

Thomas sighed. “I don't like being associated with my father. I’m my own person.”

“Yeah right. That’s the only reason you’re as successful as you are right now. It’s all because of your name.” Alex scoffed. “Y/N, this is the guy I’m supposed to fight in three months.”

So Thomas and Alex were supposed to fight each other for the world championship in a few months...interesting.

Alexander continued. “Bro, you can’t train here.”

“What, is this your territory?” Thomas retorted.

You cut in, annoyed with your best friend’s behavior even though you knew he had the right to rival against your new neighbor. He was his biggest opponent at the moment. “Alex, even you don’t even train here. You’re moving to New York tomorrow to train at some other place. Why can’t this guy train here?”

“Because he’s the enemy and I don’t want him anywhere near you.” Alex growled.

“Hey, if you’ve got something to say, say it to my face.” Jefferson narrowed his eyes at the shorter man in front of him.

Alex balled his fists. “How about I put a fist to your face instead?”

You stepped in between them, putting your arms out to keep them distanced. “Guys, stop. Break it up. This isn’t professional. If this is a fight as big as I think it is, then you guys aren’t even allowed to speak to each other until the week of the match. So, stop now before things get ugly.”

“Alex, don’t you have some final packing to do?” You asked him. “Your flight leaves at 5.”

He sighed, “I just came here to get the last of my gear and say goodbye, then I find you talking to this asshole.”

“Hamilton…” You warned. “Play nice.”

The three of you were interrupted by a voice booming from the other side of the gym. “Jefferson! Get your ass over here! A water break does not take 15 minutes.”

When Thomas turned to leave, you quickly grabbed his arm. “Thomas, I’ll see you at six, okay?”

He nodded, smiling down at you. “Yeah, of course. Where do we meet?”

“I’ll knock on your door or something, then we could choose a place to eat. Sound good?”

“Great.” He replied as you let him go. You watched him walk away as he cast one last look to Alexander before he met with his trainer again.

“You’re going out with him?” Alexander asked angrily, clenching his jaw.

You rolled your eyes. “It’s just for food, Alex. He’s my new neighbor, I figured I’d give him a taste of DC.”

Alex mumbled something incoherent under his breath before he walked away.

You rolled your eyes before following him. He was your best friend, and you loved him to death, but damn was he a pain in the ass.

“I’m sorry about Alex,” you said before taking a bite of your sandwich. “He can be very...annoying, for lack of a better term.”

You and Thomas had chosen a cute little sandwich shop a few blocks away for your meal. After you said your final goodbyes to Alexander, you went back to your apartment to freshen up a bit before you left again to knock on Thomas’ door.

The man across from you chuckled. “You don't have to apologize for him. That's just the way of the job: the trash talking, insulting, etcetera. It's all normal when you're in the same room as your opponent.”

You looked up from your sandwich. “He’s a nice guy, though, I swear. I wouldn't be friends with him if he wasn't.”

“Friends? So, you're not dating?”

You almost choked on your food. “Me and Alex? No, definitely not.” You said, clearing your throat. “He has a girlfriend.”

Thomas nodded in understanding, chewing on his food.

A couple beats passed by before you spoke up again. “What about you?” You asked curiously. “You got a girl back home in LA?”

He swallowed his food and shook his head. “No, I never really had the time,” he answered. “Also, I don’t really think of LA as my home. I was born and raised in Virginia until I finally started boxing like my father in college. Then when I graduated, my dad moved me around the country trying to find the best trainers and stuff to get me good enough to go pro. It took like three years of training before I finally went pro.”

You hummed in acknowledgement while sipping on your drink. “You know, honestly you don’t seem like a boxer to me.”

Thomas raised an eyebrow. “How so?”

“I mean, you’re built for it and everything,” you gestured to his sculpted upper body and height, “but you just don’t seem like the type. I’ve been around boxers my whole life and every single one of them has given off a certain– cocky vibe...my own best friend gives off that vibe. But for some reason you don’t...and it’s weird.”

Thomas breathed out a light laugh. “I try not to let everything get to my head, I guess. I grew up with my dad constantly bragging about himself and I hated it. I try to stay as humble as I can around people who get to know the real me, not the guy they see on ESPN news headlines.”

“Makes sense.” You noted with a nod.

You both sat in a comfortable silence for a few minutes before you felt Thomas’ gaze on you. You looked up to see him studying you curiously for a few moments.

“What?” You shifted slightly under his gaze.

He furrowed his eyebrows. “I don’t understand you.”

“What do you mean?”

“I just don’t get why you still decided to come out with me even though I’m pegged as the arrogant asshole who fights for nothing but pride... I mean, I’m also gonna be fighting your best friend in a few months...wouldn’t the smart thing to do be to avoid me at all costs because I’m the ‘bad guy’?” A couple of beats passed. “N-not that you’re stupid or anything. I was just wondering–”

You cut him off with a laugh. “Didn't you just finish saying that you weren’t the guy the media portrays you as?”

“Yeah, but I’ve never met anyone who actually looks past that.” He said. “Well, besides my mom and sister.”

“You can’t judge a book by its cover, Thomas. You have to give it the benefit of the doubt before you stop reading.” You said. “You’re my neighbor, and just because people say bad things about you doesn’t mean that I can’t try and make a new friend.”

Thomas caught your gaze, sending you a genuine smile. “Thanks, Y/N.”

“No problem.” You returned the smile.

You and Thomas continued to talk about countless things, abandoning the topic of boxing for a good while. You got to know each other a bit more. You’d found out that Thomas was really well read, wanted to go to law school before he started his boxing career, hated country music with a passion despite being born in the rolling hills of Virginia, and that his favorite food was macaroni and cheese.

And Thomas had found out numerous facts about you as well, including your favorite music artist and food, that you were born and raised in DC, graduated university with a degree in sports medicine, and that you really really liked puppies.

“Wait, sports medicine?” He’d asked. “So you could help me if I get hurt in a fight?”

You laughed. “I probably could, yeah.”

“Great.” He grinned back at you. “I'm gonna hold you to that, you know that right?”

Before you knew it, it had gotten dark, which was the cue for both of you to start heading back to your apartments. You had talked for hours and hadn’t even realized how long it had been. You honestly felt like you’d known Thomas for years even though you’d only just met him the day before.

When you approached your apartment, you turned to him.

“So...see you around?”

Thomas nodded with yet another bright smile. “Oh yeah, definitely.”

“Alright, then.” You reciprocated his grin. “Later, neighbor.”

He chuckled before he started to walk to his place.

“Later, Y/N.”