#I’d probably wake up buried alive but it’s ok I like him

[sunshinecassette]

I wanna take a nap inside coffin guy dhmis just a quick little sweet little nap snork mimimimimimi snzzzzzz

[somebodycall911onabc]

Spoon me, you idiot

Post ep4x13 Buddie because my brain is just that episode on loop. Hands up if you're not ready for the season 4 finale, folks. Have some cuddling and love confessions in the meantime.

Buck helps Eddie over the threshold with one hand at Eddie’s elbow and the other pressed against his hip. Eddie’s fine, he’s fine, he’s alive, but he’s exhausted. Pain and shock weigh down his shoulders, make him unsteady on his feet.

Carla breathes in sharply at the sight of him. Then she’s stepping forward, folding Eddie into a soft embrace, pulling his head down cheek to cheek with hers. Buck drags his eyes away from his living, breathing, living friend to find Chris, who’s lying on the couch with his glasses askew, mouth open in sleep. Buck’s heart clenches like a fist. He’s going to remember Chris’s haunted, horrified expression for the rest of his life, the light dying in Chris’s eyes as Buck had to tell him… had to tell him that his dad wasn’t coming home that night.

Buck walks over to Chris and kneels down beside him. He’s pretty sure it’s the first time Chris has slept since he heard about it. The first time in more than 48 hours that the kid’s closed his eyes. Buck brushes the curls back from Chris’s forehead, trying to be gentle, not wanting to wake him.

Eddie gets down next to Buck, their knees pressing together. Buck feels the shudder that runs down Eddie’s spine, feels it echoed in his soul. Buck isn’t the religious type, but he feels like this is another miracle. Years after his first brush with death, Eddie coming home once again to his son.

With a hand on Chris’s shoulder, Eddie murmurs, “hey, my little Superman. Chris, I’m here.”

Chris’s eyes open slowly, reluctantly, until he sees his dad’s face and wakes up all at once.

“Dad!” Chris shouts, hands flying up to attach themselves to Eddie’s face. “Dad!”

Eddie’s smiling, huffing out laughter in pure, unadulterated joy at seeing his son’s delighted expression. Chris is grinning and whooping, falling forward to curl himself into his dad’s chest. Eddie lifts one arm to hold Chris close and buries his face in Chris’s hair.

Buck blinks back tears, feeling relief crash over him. He rubs his eyes and starts to get to his feet, wanting to give the Diaz boys some space, until he feels a tug on his shirt. Eddie’s hand twists in the fabric. He’s not even looking at Buck, head tucked against the curve of Chris’s skull. Buck sinks back down and tentatively puts his arms around the both of them, Chris’s knobbly spine and Eddie’s strong back, his cheek brushing Eddie’s forehead. Buck lets out a breath that trembles like an earthquake.

It feels like home. It feels impossible. It’s what he’s always wanted. It feels like something Buck isn’t allowed to have.

When they finally let go of each other, what could be a minute or a year later, Buck notices Carla standing at the end of the couch. She’s smiling fondly at all of them, and Buck realizes abruptly that this is the first time he’s seen her since the pandemic started. He gets up—although it’d be more fair to say he tears himself away—and moves toward her, and there’s always been something magic about Carla because she takes one look at him and she knows.

“I missed you,” Buck says, his nose smashed into her chin. She’s hugging him like she’s trying to pack Buck down tight and snug him into a little box where she can keep him safe. Or maybe that’s just Buck’s wishful thinking. He’s so goddamn tired.

“I missed you too, Buckaroo,” Carla says, pressing a kiss to the top of his head. Buck swallows the lump in his throat her tenderness causes.

She pulls away and very gently pats his cheek, looking Buck in the eye. “He needs you, you hear?” She whispers, holding that eye contact like she’s bet money on a staring competition. “Take care of each other.”

Buck can only nod.

She lets go of him and Buck shakes himself into standing straight, even though he’d much rather crumple to the floor. But he needs to get Eddie and Chris to bed, he needs to figure out what’s still edible in the kitchen and take out the trash, he needs to call the pharmacy for Eddie’s meds and the station for Eddie’s med leave, he needs to—

“Alright boys, get some rest.” Buck blinks and Carla comes back into focus. She’s addressing all of them, voice firm. “I’ll be here bright and early tomorrow to help out.”

“Thank you, Carla,” Eddie says.

“No need for that.” She bends down to give Eddie a quick hug, and Buck hears her tell him, “just try not to get on the bad side of any more sniper-rifle-wielding nut jobs, alright?”

Eddie’s reply is somewhere between a laugh and a choked-back sob.

Buck walks Carla to the door. Before she leaves, she looks at him, sharp-eyed and commanding again. “You call me if you need anything. Anything. You look just as bad as he does.”

“I’ll be fine. Thanks, Carla.”

She narrows her eyes at him, but this is what Buck has always been best at. He wades through the hurt and the pain and just keeps going. He gives her a tight smile, reminds himself that he wasn’t the one shot (no, just the one sprayed with Eddie’s blood, he can still feel it on his skin, still taste it on his lips), and closes the door behind her.

Getting Chris and Eddie to bed is easy. Buck lifts Chris up, carries him to Eddie’s room, and pulls the covers over both the Diaz boys. Eddie tries to catch Buck’s eye while Buck leaves the room, but if Buck stops moving then he’s not sure when or if he’ll start again. Buck pulls the bedroom door most of the way closed, leaving a tiny crack in case Eddie or Chris need him in the night.

In the kitchen, the clock on the stove informs him that it’s just past 9 pm. It’s jarringly early. It feels like time doesn’t really exist, that he’s been moving in a place defined by the hours since Eddie dropped, the hours since Eddie went into surgery, the hours since Eddie woke up.

Buck opens the fridge and looks into it without seeing anything, like when you’re reading only to realize that three pages have gone by without you remembering a single word. He closes the fridge door and opens it again, and oh, there’s the carton of milk and bottle of ketchup on the top shelf, the egg carton down to its last egg, a container of left-over fried rice from… was it yesterday? Buck folds back the top flap and sniffs it, decides it will be fine for one of the boys to eat when they get up.

He closes the fridge and investigates the pantry next. Two boxes of spaghetti, a can of beans, three cans of chicken noodle soup, an unopened bag of quinoa that is probably the result of Ana because Buck’s not sure Eddie has ever heard of quinoa—like he’s taking inventory of the truck. Thermal blankets, C-spine collar kit, 3L of sterile water, 3L sodium chloride, hug-a-bear. The 118 has a blue elephant courtesy of Athena. Buck could honestly really use it right now.

Buck runs a hand through his hair and pulls out his phone, planning to make a grocery list. He sees two missed calls from Bobby and eight from Maddie. One from Chim. Hen texted him at 4pm: How you holding up?

Buck very slowly puts the phone down.

He takes a step back and grips the edge of the kitchen counter. Breathe, Buck, he thinks. Just breathe.

His vision is spotty when he opens his eyes, like he’d shut them too tight. He doesn’t remember shutting them. It doesn’t matter. Buck finds a scrap of paper in the recycling bin and a pen from the junk drawer and writes a list. It’s late, so he’ll go to the grocery store in the morning, early, make sure breakfast is on the table for when Eddie and Chris get up. Oh fuck, does he have a shift tomorrow? What day is it?

Buck puts down the pen and presses the heels of his palms to his eyes. He can’t do this. He can’t stand here and pretend like he can take care of Eddie because he can’t stop seeing Eddie die. It’s in the back of his head every moment, it’s what he sees every time he closes his eyes, it’s the memory rewritten by his cells as they multiply and decay, it’s in his fucking genome now or whatever they call it—

it’s in the air he breathes, the reminder that for a moment that lasted an eternity, Eddie’s heart had stopped beating.

It’s a loud silence. Deafening.

Buck thinks, take a breath before you pass out, idiot.

Buck thinks, get a glass of water and pull yourself together.

Buck thinks, your best friend just got shot, you don’t have time for this bullshit.

Buck peels his hands away from the counter slowly, carefully, like if he makes one wrong move he’ll come away with flayed palms. He pours himself a glass of water and makes himself drink the whole thing. He picks up the list he wrote and reads it over and over and over. He thinks: what do I know is true? I’m standing in Eddie’s kitchen. I’m alive. Eddie is alive. And: I should get carrots.

Buck hiccups. Carrots—fucking—

No. Get it together. DAMN IT, Buck!

Buck bites the inside of his cheek until it bleeds and does not add carrots to the grocery list. Because apparently they cause emotional breakdowns, and Buck can’t afford one.

He puts himself to work. He ties the trash bag and then he wipes down the counters, and then he unties the trash bag to throw some paper towels in. He transfers the dishes from the sink to the dishwasher, quiet as he can, and locates a broom at the back of Eddie’s hall closet to sweep the floor.

When he’s emptying the dust pan into the trash (he’d tied and untied the bag again, but nobody’s counting, so what does it matter), Eddie says: “Are you OK?”

Buck jumps at least three feet in the air. He’s got the quads for it.

“Hey!” Buck whisper-shouts, turning to face Eddie. “What are you doing up?”

“Was wondering where you were.”

“Uh,” Buck looks around at the spotless kitchen and the broom in his hand. “Just, you know. Thought I’d be of service.”

Eddie raises his eyebrows at him. “Buck, the last thing I’m worried about is the state of my kitchen.”

“Right. That’s why I’m taking care of it. You know, so you don’t uh. You don’t have to.”

“OK.” Eddie squints at him like maybe a closer look will explain why Buck is sweeping his kitchen at 9:45pm three days after he got shot in the street in broad daylight. Buck sincerely hopes he doesn’t figure it out. He leans the broom against the counter and clips the dust pan to it in a rare display of tidiness. The pan slides down the broom handle until it hits the floor.

“When’s the last time you slept?”

Buck shrugs.

“Answer, please.”

God, what a dad.

(Not that Buck would know.)

“Uh… I think I got a few hours while you were in surgery.”

“That was two days ago, Buck,” Eddie says, frowning at him. “You look like a stiff breeze could knock you over.”

“Well, we’re inside.”

“Why are you being so stubborn? You need to sleep.”

“I’m just not really feeling it,” Buck says, folding his arms and resting his hip against the counter.

“Not giving you a choice,” Eddie says, looking extra grumpy because he can’t fold his arms. Unless you count the one in a sling as folded.

“I’m fine, Eddie. Don’t worry about me. You should be with Christopher.”

Eddie lifts his hand to his face and rubs his temples.

“Buck,” he says, “the only thing I need you to do right now is come to bed.”

“But I—“

“Come to bed, Buck.”

And it’s the repetition. It’s the look in Eddie’s eyes like a slow, early flame: the promise of a fire.

Buck’s throat is very, very dry.

“I… yeah. OK.”

Eddie gives him a small smile. Buck’s reeling. Because here’s the thing—they’ve shared a bed before. They’ve shared a too-small bunk at the station and a backseat and even a beanbag once (courtesy of a very poor decision on Buck’s part, but at least Chris likes it). But it’s always been “just bros.” It’s always been necessity. It’s been about efficiency and familiarity. Which maybe Buck is reading this all wrong and snuggling up with your best friend and his son after a near-death experience is totally no homo but… come to bed. Come to bed. Like it’s their bed. Like Buck belongs there.

Buck’s ears are ringing while he follows Eddie down the hallway to his bedroom. Their bedroom? He’s losing it.

The hallway light illuminates a strip of the room as they step inside. Buck can see Chris tucked in the sheets, curled into the rumpled spot where Eddie slid out to fetch Buck. This has to mean something, right? They’ve been dancing around and on the edge of something for so long, Buck doesn’t know how to interpret anything anymore. He loves Eddie, though. And probably the only way he’ll sleep right now is if Eddie’s in arm’s reach. So it doesn’t really matter what this is, because Buck will take any scrap of Eddie he can get, not just tonight, but always.

Eddie slips into the bed and scoots forward, leaving a space behind for Buck. Chris makes a heavy, sleepy sound and turns his head into his dad’s shoulder. Carefully, so, so carefully, Buck lowers himself onto the bed and fills the space Eddie made for him.

“What are you doing?” Eddie asks, exasperated.

Buck blinks at the ceiling. “What?”

“Idiot,” Eddie mutters. “Spoon me.”

“I’m sorry?”

“Buck, this bed is small enough as it is with one person. I know you’re hanging half off it right now.”

“You’re not even looking at me.”

“Call it intuition,” Eddie says, dry as the desert.

Buck gingerly turns on his side, his chest just a breath away from Eddie’s back. “I…” He swallows. “Where should I put my arm?”

“Buck, you must have done this before.”

“That’s your bad arm, Eds.”

Eddie shifts a little, his calf coming into contact with Buck’s shin. Buck breaks into a cold sweat.

“Shit, well… under the sling, then. Around my waist?”

Dry, dry, his throat is so dry.

Buck lifts his arm up and drapes it over Eddie’s waist. He shuffles in closer, pressing them together from head to toe. His nose is in Eddie’s hair, his dick is nestled in the curve of Eddie’s ass, his ankles are knocking into Eddie’s. Buck feels like he might reverberate out of his skin.

“You sure you wouldn’t rather have Ana here?” Buck whispers. His mouth is like, one inch from Eddie’s ear.

Eddie turns his head a little, so his ear actually brushes Buck’s lip. Fuck, fuck, fuck.

Eddie says, “There’s no one in this world I want here more than you.”

Buck stutters on his next breath.

“I wish it’d been me,” he says, suddenly. Eddie has to know. Eddie probably already knows. Buck’s grateful, so goddamn grateful, that Eddie survived. And sure, part of it is that self-deprecating shit he’s been working through with this therapist: Eddie has more to live for, Eddie has a kid, Eddie is a better man than I’ll ever be. But mostly, it’s far simpler than that.

If Eddie had died, the sniper may as well have shot Buck too. Because Buck doesn’t know how to live without Eddie. He’d found that out ages ago, when he lost Eddie under fifty feet of mud and water.

Eddie’s next words are nearly a growl. “The only good thing to come out of all this,” he says, “is that you didn’t get hurt.”

“What are you—“

“After it happened, when I was… when I was lying there, I—I looked at you. I looked at you, Buck, and I was terrified. Not because I might die, but because if I did, who was going to protect you? Who was going to keep a sniper off your self-sacrificing, heroic ass, and make sure someone came home to Chris? Who was—“ Eddie cut himself off with a sigh. “I was worried about you.”

Buck feels like… like an unbroken, empty tundra. Like a fried electric socket. Like someone dropped him to the very bottom of a very deep well.

“Eddie, Eddie I—“

“Shh,” Eddie murmurs, as Buck shakes apart. As he bends his head to hide his tears in the nape of Eddie’s neck. As he bites his tongue to stay quiet and not wake Chris up. Eddie presses backward into Buck’s hold. “I know, I know.”

“I can’t lose you,” Buck grits out between several halting breaths.

“You won’t,” Eddie says.

“I almost did.”

“You had my back.” Buck’s throat makes an awful, wheezing sound as he fights a losing battle against crying. “You got me out of there. You saved me.”

“I love you,” Buck says, losing the fight against that too.

“Buck… I…” Eddie sounds like someone knocked the wind out of him.

“Sorry,” Buck hurries to say, chest icing over with panic. “Sorry I just—“

“I love you,” Eddie interrupts. “I do. I know it took me a long time to realize, but… I’ve been in love with you, Buck.”

“Oh my god,” Buck says. I mean, what else do you say to that? No wonder Eddie froze up. Buck is in shock. “Is this real?”

“I hope so,” Eddie says. “And if it isn’t, then I’ll just have to tell you when we wake up.”

Buck feels fit to burst with more emotions than he can name. Relief, joy, fear, disbelief, pin-prickly. It feels like another miracle.

“Deal,” Buck says. And places a kiss to the fatal, devastating spot behind Eddie’s ear.

Eddie is the first thing Buck sees when he wakes up. “Good morning” are the first words he hears.

And then:

“Just so you know, I love you.”

[thehargreevesfam]

Do y’all ever think about how the hargreeves spent their birthdays after they separated and get sad? Because same. Like…this is what I imagine how each of the hargreeves celebrated their birthdays apart:

Luther - before his moon trip…probably at the academy, by himself. Reginald of course would be disinterested or even forget but Grace and pogo would try to make luther’s day as ‘birthday-esque’ as they can. Obviously, this wouldn��t feel the same for luther, and he usually misses his siblings, but on this day the hole in his heart grows bigger, and the academy probably becomes emptier than before.

Diego - I imagine diego would try to immerse himself further in his vigilante ‘duties’, to try and ignore the loneliness. Because although he was bitter and resentful towards his siblings, I feel like he generally missed them a little bit. And on a day that’s important to all of them, his feelings towards them would grow stronger and he’d probably release them by playing vigilante or at the gym.

Allison - allison lived a glamorous life…but in her case, I don’t think that bought her complete happiness. At least she had another family to latch onto, so before she got divorced, I think she’d spend the day with Claire and her husband if she could. But you know how children are…Claire would definitely bring up her siblings and Allison would be painfully reminded of something she’d be trying to forget. I’d always thought allison felt some regret and guilt even before she lost Claire, and once she’s alone and doesn’t have to be ‘fake’ happy anymore, she’d let those feelings wash over her and she’d miss her siblings even more.

Klaus - I assume klaus was either in and out of rehab or doing drugs on the street, and honestly…I think klaus would try to forget. Too many painful memories. For him, it’s easier to submerge in his addictions and bury his pain and loneliness under them. Ben would probably remind him though, and as much as klaus wants to forget by using his drugs, I feel that underlying loneliness and yearning for his siblings on this day would be amplified.

Five - I honestly don’t even think five kept track of the days while he was stuck in the apocalypse. Maybe for the first few weeks or years…but after that, I think he’d lose track or forget. The isolation would mess with his head maybe make him a bit dull on some days, and surviving would become his priority. But on the off-chance he somehow wakes up in the apocalypse and remembers that it’s his birthday, along with his siblings, he’d be filled with even deeper regret for leaving, not listening to his father or vanya. I also think it would steel his resolve to get back to them.

Ben - Ben’s dead Ok but honestly…what more can ben do except remind klaus that it’s their birthday, then watch him do drugs disappointedly? He can’t make klaus do what he doesn’t want to do, literally. But Ben has always missed his siblings. I think he’s missed them every day since he died, and birthday or not, I don’t think that changes. He’s dead, and he can’t do anything about it, so he can’t even reach out to them like he wants to. If he could get the chance to talk to them on any day, he would. But it’s a known thing ben didn’t ‘sign up for this’ and hated being a child soldier, so it probably brings bad memories too

Vanya - vanya is on meds and probably feels numb most of the time…but y’know what? I head canon that vanya would actually be the one to send each of them cards on their birthday, I mean she literally bought tickets for them for her orchestra. What they do with them is out of her control, but I think she’d want them to know that she’s still alive and she remembers the day that’s supposed to be important to them. No one else would remember her birthday because she’s awkward and has no friends…so she’d buy a cupcake, go to her apartment, light a candle on it, and blow it out by herself all depressed…wishing she didn’t feel so alone all the time and didn’t miss her siblings this much.

Listen I just think it’d be a sad day for all of them ok

[atlafan]

Office Neighbors - Part Seven

a/n: this still isn’t the last of these two, I just like them too much! hope you enjoy! (reblogs and feedback are super helpful!)

warnings: slight angst, fluff, and smut

words: 18K

masterpost

“What?!” Harry reaches to turn the light on, and squeezes your shoulder as a silent apology for the abrupt light. “How…?”

“He…had a heart attack, I guess. My mom tried to wake him up because she couldn’t hear him breathing, and…” She sobs louder. “I have to go to Connecticut, and-“

“Where’s Noah?”

“He had to go to Vermont this week for a client, it’s just Rachel and I here, and I don’t know what to do! I can’t bring her with me, can I? Should I? I have no idea how long I’m going to be gone for, or what my mom’s plans are. I mean, she may need to come live with me Harry! I’m just, I feel all alone right now, and…”

“I’m coming over.”

“No, I can’t ask you to do that.”

“You’re not, I’m telling you that’s what’s happening. When’s Noah supposed to be home?”

“Wednesday.”

“Alright, Rachel can miss school tomorrow, and she can home stay here until he gets back, that way you can just leave tomorrow.” He says, pulling the blankets back and finding his sweat to pull on. “I’ll be there soon, okay? Just try to take some deep breaths.”

“Thank you.”

Harry hangs up and sighs. He blinks a few tears away before looking at you.

“Paige’s father passed away.”

“Oh no.” You frown. “That’s terrible.”

“Noah’s in Vermont, and she’s home alone with Rachel. I’m so sorry, but I have to go make sure she’s alright. As annoying as her parents are, she was close with her dad, and-“

“I understand.” You swallow. “You’re all she has around her, you should go.”

“Thank you.” He knees onto the bed to hug you. “You’ll be fine here with Andy?”

“Yeah, of course.”

“Okay.” He runs a hand through his hair. “If I’m not back before he gets up tomorrow…wait for me to explain it to him, please?” You nod at him. “I have to bring Rachel back with me tomorrow. I’m gonna keep Andy home from school. I don’t know how he’ll take it, but I wanna make sure he doesn’t feel like he needs to be anywhere but with me, or if he wants to go to Connecticut with his Mum, I wanna give him that option. Fuck it, if I need to get him there I will, I-“

“Harry.” You stand up and take him in your arms, hugging him. “Go, she needs you.”

He presses his lips to yours before letting go of you. He grabs a couple of things before quietly heading out. You sigh heavily and get back into bed. You knew this was all part of loving Harry. All of this came with him, but it still stung a little to watch him leave. You groan and get over yourself. You couldn’t imagine going through what Paige was right now. You’d call Harry too if you were in the same situation.

//

Harry lightly taps on the front door of Paige’s home around one in the morning. She swings it open as she was waiting by the door for him.

“Harry.” Her voice cracks as she throws her arms around him.

He holds her close and lets her cry into him. He gets the door closed and walks them into the house so they can sit in the living room. He keeps his arms around her while she continues just to let it out. When he feels her breathing evening out, he speaks up.

“When did your mum call?”

“Um, it was my sister.” Paige says, wiping some tears away, looking up at Harry. “My mom called her first, and then she called me. They called an ambulance right away, and he was pronounced dead on the way there. I mean, I suppose it was peaceful since it was in his sleep, but...I thought he had more time, you know?” She sniffles.

“I know, I’m so sorry.” He rubs at her back and shoulder and she nuzzles into his chest.

“Thank god Allie lives within thirty minutes of them, I don’t know what I’d do. She said we’d talk more tomorrow, but she doesn’t think mom can live with her, she just doesn’t have the room like I do.”

“You only have the room because Allie didn’t wanna move out of the city to take this place. Now she’s using it as leverage.” Harry rolls his eyes.

“She couldn’t move out of the city, her and her husband need to live there for work…”

“I’m aware of that, Paige, I just think she set you up is all.”

“At any rate, she’s going to help my mom sell her condo, and-“

“Well, she should…she’s a fucking real estate agent. It’s the least she can do.” Harry scratches at Paige’s head like he knows she likes and it helps her calm down more.

“I’ll probably have to hit the road tomorrow to help with the arrangements. He’s had it in his will to be buried out there. God, I’m gonna have to take so much time off work, and all this before Christmas.” Her bottom lip quivers.

“Was it…a nice Thanksgiving at least?”

“It was! He was so much nicer than he usually is. Andy even made him laugh! I suppose it’ll be a nice last memory of him. I have no idea how I’m going to explain this to Andy.”

“He should go with you…to Connecticut. He’ll wanna say goodbye to his Gramp.”

“He’ll be so bored with me running around.”

“He can hang out with his cousins. I’m sure plenty of your family will be coming in for it.”

“Are you okay with him missing so much school?”

“It’s not like he’ll be missing much this time of year. I can talk to him about it tomorrow.” He grabs the blanket on the back of the couch to put over the two of them.

“Thank you for being here last minute. I felt terrible calling Noah the way I did. He could barely understand me, and I just didn’t know what else to do. Hopefully I didn’t wake poor Rachel.”

“This is a big deal, I wouldn’t leave you by yourself.”

“Wait…” She says after a few moments of silence. “If you’re here, where’s Andy?”

“At home.”

“By himself?!”

“No! Y/N’s with him…”

“You called her to have him stay with him?”

“No, she was already there, um, this was her first time staying over on a school night.”

“Harry.” Paige sighs. “You can’t leave your current girlfriend in bed to go be with your ex-girlfriend.”

“Well, I did, and I’ll deal with it later. She said she understood.”

“Of course she did! What was she gonna say, don’t go? She knows she couldn’t say that. Fuck, now she’s gonna hate me.”

“No she won’t. Listen, just try to relax, okay? You’re gonna have a long drive, I’ll be worried enough about you getting there in one piece. I should just go with you.” He pinches the bridge of his nose as he thinks it over.

“Nope, no way. My family would eat you alive if you did that. Noah will probably come once the actual funeral date is scheduled. I can drive on my own, I’ll be fine, I’m just still in shock.”

“It’s a lot to process.”

The two end up falling asleep together on the couch. Little did Paige know is that Noah cut his visit with his client short to get home to her, so needless to say he was little annoyed when he walked through the door at the crack of dawn.

“Um…hello?”

Harry and Paige’s eyes snap open and they stand immediately to get away from each other.

“Noah!” Paige’s eyes well up immediately as she walks into his arms. “You’re back so soon?”

“I got on the road as soon as I could. How are you holding up? I see you called Harry…”

“I…well…I didn’t know what else to do, and-“

“Well, I guess I should get home now that he’s back, and I guess Rachel won’t need to come stay with me. Let me know what you wanna do about Andy, okay? I’m gonna tell him he doesn’t need to go to school today either way.”

“Alright.” She nods. “Um, I’ll probably need a couple of hours. I need to speak more with Allie about everything.” She nuzzles into Noah for a moment before letting go of him. “I’m gonna go take a shower, thank you again for coming.” She gives his shoulder a squeeze before going up the stairs.

Harry and Noah share an awkward moment of eye contact.

“I didn’t think you two were still so comfortable together to fall asleep like that.” He says, crossing his arms. “And why would my daughter need to go stay with you?”

“Okay, first of all, we were both exhausted, so pardon us for falling asleep innocently on the sofa. Second of all, we both thought you wouldn’t be home until Wednesday, so I offered to have Rachel come stay with me until you got back. Or would you have preferred her stay here by herself?” Harry looks Noah up and down. “Don’t start with me, mate. She needed someone, and I’m the closest thing she has to family around here.”

“And you just so easily sprang into action?”

“Her father died! What would you have done? Stayed home and not come to comfort her? Give me a fucking break. I’ll chalk this up to you being tired or something because I sure as hell know you’re not accusing me of something.”

“I just think you should worry about your own girlfriend. I don’t think she’d love knowing you slept with Paige.”

“Don’t say it like that, it wasn’t like that.”

“Then what was it like Harry?! You could have told her to go back up to bed, and you could have stayed down here or gone home once she got back to sleep, but no, there you were with your arms around her. You’re not gonna get over her.”

“You don’t what you’re talking about.” He shakes his head. “I’m in love with Y/N, not Paige. I…you know what? I don’t have to explain myself to you. She called me, I came here, now you’re here, go make your fiancé feel better instead of worrying about me.” Harry practically spits before leaving in a huff.

//

You had trouble sleeping in Harry’s bed without him, so you got up early to make a big breakfast because you just didn’t know what else to do. The smell of pancakes filled the house, and it woke Andy up. He was all out of sorts because pancakes were usually a weekend breakfast. He came out of his room and you pouted at how cute he was. He was wearing an oversized t-shirt, no doubt Harry’s, and a pair of joggers, with his blanket wrapped around him.

“What’s going on?” He knuckles at his eyes before sitting down in front of the plate you made for him.’

“Dad had to step out, but he’ll be back soon. You, uh, don’t need to go to school today.”

“Did it snow?”

“No…he’ll explain when he gets back. Just, um, eat your breakfast and then go wash up if you haven’t already, yeah?”

“Okay…thanks for making this.”

“You’re welcome.”

You get comfy on the couch and watch some morning TV while Andy goes to brush his teeth and wash his face. Sister, Sister was on, a perfect distraction. Andy comes over to sit with you, but it was still so early, he just felt groggy, and he looked so adorable with his floppy curls in his face. He grabs one of the throw pillows.

“Could I…?” He gestures to put it in your lap.

“Oh! Yeah, go ahead.”

“Thanks.” He mutters as he gets his head comfy in your lap, and his eyes flutter closed.

You mindlessly play with his hair to keep him comfortable. It was something Harry liked you figured he’d like it too. You felt terrible for him. You didn’t know how close or not close Andy was with his grandfather, but you guessed this would be his first time dealing with a major death in the family. Harry comes in about two episodes into Sister, Sister and you put your finger up to your lips to signal to be quiet. He wants to cry at the sight in front of him. His son feeling so comfortable to cuddle up with you was so sweet. He wished he could do the same, but he needed to wake up a bit more before having the tough conversation with Andy. He sees that you’ve made coffee, and he sees the leftover pancakes and he smiles. Yup, this was exactly where he wanted to be. He sips on some coffee and then comes over to the two of you.

“Andy?” He says softly, rubbing his son’s back. “I need you to wake up, buddy.”

“Y/N said I didn’t need to go to school.” He groans.

“You don’t, but I have to talk to you about something…privately.”

Andy sits up slowly and gives Harry a confused look.

“Where were you?”

“At Mum’s.”

“Why?”

“Can we go talk in your room?”

Andy looks over at you and you nod to go with Harry, so he listens and stands up. Harry puts his hand on Andy’s back and mouths a ‘thank you’ to you. Once they’re both in his room, sitting on his bed, Harry takes a deep breath.

“Mum called me late last night…Noah was in Vermont so she didn’t want to be alone.”

“Why? What happened?”

“Um, well, Gramp…passed away.”

“What?!” Andy’s eyes start to tear up.

“He passed peacefully in his sleep, but Mum didn’t find out until late last night.”

“So, he’s, like, gone?”

“Yeah, I’m afraid so.”

“But, he can’t be! I just saw him the other day!”

“I know, these things can happen so suddenly sometimes. I’m really sorry.” Harry pulls Andy into him, and that’s when the waterworks start. Harry holds his son close as he lets Andy process everything.

“Is Mummy okay?” Harry’s eyes widen. He couldn’t remember the last time Andy called Paige ‘Mummy’.

“She will be. She’s gonna go to Connecticut later today to see how she can help Gram and Auntie Allie. Would you like to go with her? The funeral will probably be over the weekend.”

“It’s okay to miss that much school?”

“Of course! It’ll be excused.”

“Yeah, I…I think I would like to go with her.”

“Okay, I’ll let her know. I’m sure she’d like your company for the ride.”

“What about Noah and Rachel.”

“I don’t know what his plan is…I’ll be honest, he’s not happy with me at the moment.”

“Why? You, like, practically came to Mum’s rescue last night.”

“Exactly.” Harry sighs. “He wasn’t supposed to come back until Wednesday, and he came back early this morning to Mum and I asleep on the couch together, so that was a whole thing.”

“You fell asleep with her?” Andy whispers, not that you were listening in. Harry nods at him. “Yikes.”

“Big yikes.” Harry chuckles softly. “Anyways, no school today, or the rest of the week since you wanna go with Mum. I’ll call the school to let them know what’s going on. I need to go cancel my classes for the day, and I need to see what Y/N wants to do. I feel bad she was here alone with you.”

“She made really good pancakes for breakfast, and then she let me hang out with her. Better than any baby sitter.”

“Good, I’m glad.” Harry reaches to stroke Andy’s cheek. “Why don’t you go take a shower and then get your things ready? I need to pull your suit from my closet and all that.”

“Okay, I’m just gonna text Brandon to let him know I won’t be at school for a few days, is that alright?”

“Yeah, let him know.”

Harry leaves Andy to do his thing. You were now in the kitchen cleaning up.

“Hey.” He says to you. “I’m really sorry for just leaving you like that last night.”

“It’s okay.”

“It’s not…I…should have brought you both with me or something, but I feel like I was panicking or something, and-“

“Harry, she needed you. Her father died, I get it.” You turn to look at him. “What’s the plan for today?”

“Andy’s gonna go to Connecticut with her. I need to cancel my classes for the day so I can stay home with him until she’s able to come pick him up.”

“Okay, I’ll…I’ll do the same.”

“I couldn’t ask you to do that.”

“I wanna be there for you, for the both of you. I can post some online assignments. I’m sure the students won’t mind.”

“I…feel like you should know in case it blows up in my face later…um, I slept on the couch with Paige last night.” Your eyebrows shoot up at that. “She sort of latched onto me when I got there, and I was trying to calm her down, and we fell asleep. It was nothing, like we weren’t, I wasn’t spooning her or anything like that, like it was…you know, platonic, and Noah got home and woke us up, and we immediately got away from each other, and she went right to him, and then he got mad at me, and now it’s a whole thing, but it didn’t mean anything, Y/N, I was just trying to-“

“Harry.” You pinch the bridge of your nose and sigh. “Please, just stop talking, you’re rambling.” You look at him. “You just so easily fell asleep with her?”

“I was exhausted, and so was she. It just happened, I’m sorry.”

“Did you kiss her?”

“What?! No!” He makes a disgusted face.

“Did you call her anymore nice names?”

“Like what?”

“You called her darling last night, and it made me feel…gross.”

“Oh, baby.” He puts his hands on your shoulders. “I’m so sorry, no, I didn’t call her anymore nice names.”

“Okay.”

“Why would think I kissed her?”

“I don’t know…maybe you kissed her cheek or top of her head or something.”

“I swear I didn’t do that. I just held her to soothe her a little, that’s all. It didn’t mean anything, I was purely there as a friend.”

“Okay.” You sigh. “I’ll email Lucas to let him know both of our classes are cancelled today so he can send one of those text alerts out.”

“You’re not mad?”

“How could I be? Your cuddles could cure cancer, they’re very powerful. I’d want you to hold me too.”

“I…thank you for being so cool about all this. I feel like I’d go bananas if it were reversed.”

“Well, it’s not, so you don’t even have to think about it. Plus, you told me right away about it, and I appreciate you being so honest.” You smile at him. “Please eat something, I left you extra.”

“Thanks, I am kinda hungry.”

A little while later, as you and Harry are both on your laptops in the living room, Andy comes out with all of his things. Harry had texted Paige to let her know Andy wanted to go with her.

“Andy, I’m really sorry for your loss.” You say as he sits down on the love seat.

“Oh, um, thanks.”

The doorbell rings and Harry sighs as he gets up. Paige looks much better, he notices, but she wasn’t wearing any makeup, and she was in sweats.

“Hi.” She says. “Is he ready?”

“Yeah.” Harry looks back. “Andy, come on.”

“Mum…” Andy slowly approaches mother with a quivering lip.

“Hi, baby.”

They throw their arms around each other. You sort of just sit there awkwardly until Paige steps in further and notices you sitting there.

“Y/N! Hi…I didn’t think you’d still…um, never mind. We’ve got a long drive, Andy, let’s get your things in the car.”

“I’ll help with that.” Harry says, and quickly grabs Andy’s things. You stand up.

“I’m so sorry about your father.” You say.

“Thank you.”

“Bye, Y/N.” Andy says, hugging you. “The pancakes were really good.”

“I’m glad liked them.”

“Everything’s in the trunk.” Harry says. “What are Noah and Rachel doing?”

“They’re gonna stay in town until Friday, and then they’ll come to Connecticut for the funeral Saturday.”

“Dad, are you gonna come to the funeral?”

“No.” Paige and Harry say at the same time.

“Um, Dad doesn’t need to go to this, Andy. Noah will be there, though, so that’s good.” She looks at you briefly, and then to Harry. “Could you go get buckled up?” She says to Andy.

“Okay.” He gives Harry a hug before going outside.

“He’s very upset with me…” She says in a whisper.

“Who, Noah?”

“Yes.”

“Your dad just died…”

“I know.” She deadpans. “He wasn’t happy about what he walked into, and even though he’s trying to be sympathetic, he thinks you and I are too codependent sometimes. The co should only apply to the parenting or something, I don’t know.” She blinks some tears away. “He’s never been a jealous man, Harry, I don’t know what his problem is.”

“He probably thinks that if I snapped my fingers you wouldn’t marry him or something. He’ll get over it. A few days apart, and he’ll forget all about me.”

“I just don’t want this to taint how good everything is with all of us. I shouldn’t have let you come over.”

“Don’t say that…don’t let him make you feel worse.”

“Did you tell Y/N what happened?”

“Yeah.”

“And she was okay with it?”

“She…understood. Not something we should make a habit of though.” He smirks and she rolls her eyes.

“Obviously. If his stupid fucking client hadn’t needed an in person consult then we wouldn’t even be in this mess.”

“Gee, thanks, nice to know I’m always second best.”

“I’m going before I smack you. Goodbye.”

“Safe travels, give my condolences to the family.”

“I will, thanks.” She looks over at you again. “Bye, Y/N!”

“Bye, sorry again!”

Harry closes the door and lets a long sigh out before looking at you.

“I need a fucking shower.” You nod at him. “Join me?” You nod again and follow him into his bathroom.

“Noah’s really pissed, huh? I slightly overheard.”

“Hard not to, I suppose.” He strips himself of his clothes and turns the water on as you get rid of your own clothes. “He…and remember this was years ago before they were even together, but he knows about the few times she and I hooked up after we broke up, so I think he thinks that could all easily happen again, but he’s fucking delusional if he thinks I would ever do something like that. I would never let her cheat on him, nor do I have any desire to fuck her, please know that.” He steps into the water and guides you in with him.

“Then why does he think she wants to fuck you? That must clearly be the issue.”

“I swear she doesn’t, but he think I have this, like, spell over her or something, I don’t know.”

“You are dangerously charming.” You smirk.

“Stop it.” He chuckles. “This isn’t new. This tension builds every so often, and then we have these little flare ups. It’s why we don’t hang out a lot, not that we would anyways, but we don’t do a ton of things together unless it involves Andy, rightfully so.”

“Then it’s like you said, he’ll get over it.”

“Exactly. He loves her, he just needs to get over himself. If I had to take any bets I’d say he won’t wait until Friday to go to Connecticut, I’ll bet he’ll get there tomorrow or Thursday.”

“Well, at least Andy’s with her now.”

“Yeah, I’m proud of him for going.” He wraps his arms around your waist. “Now, can we please talk about anything else?”

You smile and wrap your arms around his neck as the warm water cascades over the two of you.

“Why talk at all?”

He smiles and leans in to kiss you. Harry needed some comforting of his own, and if his cuddles could cure cancer, then your kisses could cure just about everything else.

//

“So…you and Harry both cancelled classes yesterday…” Janette says to you over coffee Wednesday morning at the little shop downtown. She was the physical version of that knowing eyes emoji.

“It’s not what you think…Paige’s father died.”

“Oh my!”

“I know, and it was this whole thing, and I didn’t wanna leave him, so I cancelled also. It’s fine, all my students did their online assignments.” You shrug and take a sip of your warm drink.

“Is Harry alright?”

“Yeah, I think he felt bad more so for Paige. He seems pretty indifferent about Nathan being gone, though. He wasn’t exactly nice to Harry.”

“I definitely get that. In laws can put a lot of strain on a relationship.”

“He spoke to Andy last night when they got there, and he’s doing fine, so that’s all that matters.” You say as you both brave the cold back up to campus. “Men are…jealous creatures.”

“Very territorial. Like a dog with a fire hydrant.”

“It’s a little degrading, isn’t it? To be compared to a fire hydrant?”

“What happened, exactly?”

“He fell asleep with Paige, like I said, it was a whole thing. Anyways, I guess Noah was really upset about it, but I…didn’t care all that much. I feel secure in what we have, but Harry told me if the situation was reversed he would have flipped most likely.”

“If you had fallen asleep with an ex, you mean?”

“Correct.”

“Interesting.”

“I thought I would have been more upset, especially since I know how Harry sleeps. He’s like a koala bear.” You chuckle. “But he assured me nothing like that happened, and I believed him.”

“It’s a good sign he told you straight away.”

“I guess I just don’t fully understand the jealousy. I mean, I don’t exactly love it when she just drops by, but that’s only because I’m never sure what my place is, you know?”

“Harry is a special breed of man, Y/N. He’s extremely attractive, yes, but he’s also a dork. Fucking a ton of girls probably wasn’t in the cards for him, so when he did find a girl to fuck, he latched onto her. A simp, as the kids would say.” She smirks.

“He told me he used to hook up a bit before we met…”

“And he did, but he had these regular girls. He was terrible at a one night stand, he just couldn’t bring himself to fuck a girl and then leave, you know? So he’d be with the same person for about a month and then move on.”

“He is very simp-like, now that I think about it. Like…my water bottle could be on the coffee table, and I could easily get it myself, but I’ll ask him to do it, and he doesn’t even question me, he just happily grabs it and hands it to me.”

“There you go then. He’d do anything to keep you. Noah’s probably the same with Paige. Noah probably knows that he and Harry share this quality, so that’s when things get embarrassingly territorial.” You both enter the building. You had gotten an extra coffee for Harry so you go right to his office.

“Got you a coffee, Har.”

“Oh!” He smiles and stands up to take it from you. “Thank you.” He kisses your cheek. “How is it out there? Nippy today.”

“Very.” Janette says. “Fucking windy. Winter break can’t come soon enough.” She sighs. “I gotta go prep for my next class, I’ll see you both later.”

You take your jacket off and sit on one of his chairs.

“How does soup sound for dinner tonight?” He asks as he comes to sit next you.

“Oh, are we having dinner tonight?” You raise an eyebrow at him. “I have a lot of work I need to do tonight, babe.”

“I just thought…um…”

“I know Andy’s gone, but I can’t stay over every night of the week, Harry. I didn’t get anything done over Thanksgiving, I need to buckle back down.”

“But think of all the work you’ll get done when I’m away in London.”

“Don’t do that to me, that’s not fair.”

“I’m not doing anything.”

“You’re making me feel guilty for being busy.” You sigh. “I can’t come over tonight, maybe tomorrow, or even Friday?”

“I could come to your place when you’re done working if that’s easier.”

“Harry, I love spending the night with you, and I’ll probably miss you when I go to sleep tonight, but I may not go to bed until after midnight depending how in the middle of things I am, I’m sorry.”

“Alright.” He sighs and takes a sip of his coffee.

“It won’t be like this forever. Just another year or so, and then it’ll be done.”

“And…you’ll stay here? You won’t get your degree and then say see you later?”

“Well, they hired me already, I may not be tenure track, but I’m here for the long haul. I’m here with you for the long haul.”

“Then I think it’s time I gave you something.” He gets up and goes into his bag, and then comes back to you. “Here.” He drops a key into your hand.

“What is this?”

“Spare key to my house.” He runs a hand through his hair. “It’s silly for you to always ring the bell and wait, and it’s getting colder so…just come in, you know.”

“Harry, this is so sweet, thank you.” You stand up and hug him. “I’ll…I’ll get a spare for my place made for you too.”

“Only if you really want me to have it.”

“I do! I really do. It makes sense on both ends.” You smile. “I love you so much.” You kiss him, but are interrupted by a tap on the door.

“Um…I’m so sorry, I have a meeting with Dr. Styles…”

“That you do, Brooke! Come on in.” Harry says brightly. “Professor Y/L/N.” He nods to you.

“Dr. Styles.” You nod back and giggle to yourself as you close the door behind you.

“Sorry about that, Brooke, we’re here to discuss spring courses, yeah?” Harry asks as he pulls her information up on his computer.

“Yeah! And no worries, it’s sweet that you’re dating, actually. Known you almost four years now, Dr. Styles, I was wondering when you were gonna settle down.”

“You and me both.” He mumbles as he looks over her current courses. “Okay, most important is your senior seminar…”

//

Thursday night you were pacing around in your apartment in just a large t-shirt, one of Harry’s. You had a highlighter in one hand and a journal article in the other. Harry was being amazing about giving you a little space, you felt sort of bad that he was alone in his house, but he was a big boy, and you were on the verge of a breakthrough. You were getting incredible work down, and you couldn’t afford to not.

The thing you learned about Harry, though, was that not only was he territorial, he was clingy. He was getting his own work done for sure, but he wasn’t under as much pressure as you were. Your PhD wasn’t on the line, he just had different deadlines for his manuscript. You hoped you weren’t putting him through too much by not being as readily available.

//

“Little too hard there, H.” Andre says as he shakes his hand out.

“Sorry, let’s take a break.”

Harry and Andre would sometimes go to the same boxing gym, and Harry had asked him to go with him since you were busy tonight. They each take their gear off and grab their water bottles.

“Everything alright?” Andre asks him.

“Oh, yeah! Everything’s fine, just miss Andy.”

“How’s he been doing?”

“Right now he’s fine because he’s getting to see a lot of his family that he doesn’t normally get to. Saturday will be rough probably, but he’ll be okay I think.”

“Can I ask…why aren’t you with Y/N right now? If I were a single parent I’d be jumping at the chance to be alone with my girlfriend.”

“I thought she would too, but you know how it is when you’re doing thesis work. She didn’t want to change up her routine and not get some work done. I’m hoping when I go to London she’ll get a fuck ton done so she can take a little break. I wanna invite her to the cabin for Andy’s February break.”

“So…she’s invited to that, but not to London?”

“Way too soon for that.” Harry says. “It’s only been five months. I did just give her a key to my place, though, and she gave me one to hers, so that’s nice.”

“I think you’re just scared to have her meet your mumma.” Andre smirks.

“Leave my mum outta this.” He says warningly. “That’s not it at all. Three weeks is a long time to spend alone with someone in a foreign country.”

“Fair point. She’d have no escape when she realizes you’re a twat.”

“Oi!”

“Come on, I’ve caught a second wind, let’s punch the bag for a bit.”

//

“Happy Friday.” You say to Harry Friday morning when you see he’s in.

“Morning, babe.” He smiles and gestures for you to come in. He gives you a kiss on the cheek.

“Do anything fun last night?”

“I went to the gym with Andre.”

“Oh good! Did a little boxing?” You get into a fighting stance and pretend to jab at Harry which makes him laugh.

“Yeah.” He grabs your wrists to get you to stop. “That’s enough of that.”

“What’s wrong? Don’t want me to beat your ass up?” You giggle.

“You’re in a particularly chipper mood for someone who hasn’t had much sleep.”

Perhaps to help yourself get to sleep you used your favorite purple item to tire yourself out, but he didn’t need to know that.

“Just happy to see you, now let me go.” He releases your wrists. “Do you feel like grabbing a bite to eat tonight?”

“Like a date?” He perks up.

“No, I mean hanging out as friends, why would we go on a date?” You furrow your brows and gasp. “Harry, do you like me?”

“You’re the least funny person I’ve ever fucking met.” He chuckles.

“Then why are you laughing?”

“Because you’re an idiot.” He smiles and shakes his head.

“Okay, okay, yes, like a date. I feel bad that I was busy these last couple of days, I thought it might be fun to actually go out for dinner. Give you a break from cooking.”

“Yeah, that sounds nice, actually. Where do you feel like going?”

“Thai?”

“Oh, excellent idea. Could definitely go for some drunken noodles. Let’s make it like a real date, I’ll pick you up at your place and everything.”

“Does seven work?”

“It’s perfect.”

You blow him a kiss and leave his office. Harry was absolutely feral, he didn’t know if he was going to last all day and evening without getting you naked, but he was up for the challenge.

//

Harry wanted to kill you when he saw you walk out the door of your apartment building. You were wearing this long coat, but you had heels on, and you were wearing red lipstick. How the fuck was he supposed to get through his meal. You smile at him while he opens the car door for you.

When you get to the restaurant and get seated, he wanted to kill you again. A red dress to match your red lipstick.

“You’re staring.” You say as you look over the menu, and then look up at him through your lashes.

“You just look really nice, is all.”

“I do? I just threw this look together. Thank you.”

“Right.”

“You were thinking of the drunken noodle, yeah? I might do that too.”

“Wanna split that and some sushi.”

“Sure.”

You each order a cocktail with dinner and Harry gets distracted watching your lips move around the straw each time you take a sip. Not only that, but your lipstick ends up smearing onto your chopsticks. You both chat about how your weeks went, and what you were planning for finals.

“How’s your actual paper coming?”

“Good! My references page grows every day. I’ve got twenty pages written so far, but I have to edit what I have so it’ll be like ten when I’m done. It’s awfully frustrating.”

“Any time you want me to look something over for you I’m happy to.”

“Thanks, I appreciate that. Lisa’s been looking things over for me. She’s really happy with my work.”

“Why wouldn’t she be, you’re brilliant.” He reaches across the table and gives your hand a squeeze.

“Thought I was an idiot.” You pout.

“I was teasing.” He rolls his eyes.

You hum your response just as your entrees come to the table. The drunken noodle didn’t not disappoint, and neither did your second drink. Once dinner is through, and Harry pays (even though you nearly lunged across the table for the check), you head out to his car. He hands you a mint to suck on and he pops one into his mouth. When he pulls up to your building, he parks, and turns the car off. He unbuckles and so do you, but you stop him from opening the door. He looks at you confused, but you grin, and get your fist around the collar of his jacket and yank him towards you, slotting your mouth over his. It was probably too cold to be making out in the car, but Harry was too busy feeling dizzy from your kiss to care. You suck on his tongue, tasting the mint he had been sucking on. Your hands go to his hair, messing it up completely. Your tongue drags from his jaw to his neck, and then you bite down.

“Can’t leave a mark there.” He grunts, but doesn’t pull you away.

“You’re absolutely right, sorry.” You wipe the corners of your mouth. “Let’s go inside.”

Harry nods and gets out of the car, jogging around the other side to open your door. Once you’re inside your place, and your coats are off, you’re on him. You take him by surprise, pressing him up against the wall right outside your bedroom. You suck on his bottom lip as you unbutton his shirt. You leave kiss marks from your lipstick down his stomach. You undo his belt and get his pants to drop to the floor. You get into a ski-squat position to kiss his growing bulge over his boxers.

“Y/N, please.” He breathes.

“You tease all the time.” You look up at him. “Why can’t I?”

“Because…”

“What’s that?” You stand up fully. “Can’t find a good enough reason?” Harry swallows hard as you look him up and down.

“I’m a bit tongue tied at the moment.”

“Don’t tell me after all this time that I still make you nervous, Harry.” Your lips ghost the shell of his ear as your hand slides down his body, palming him through his boxers.

“Who said you made me nervous, ngh, in the first place?” You step back and give him a look. “Okay, you used to make me a little nervous, but that was only because my feelings for you caught me off guard. If I had time to get ahead of it, you would have been the nervous one.”

“You think so?”

“I know so.”

Harry kicks his jeans away, and dips down to lift you over his shoulder. You squeal and giggle as he carries you into your bedroom. You loved when you could rile him up like this. Just as there were times you wanted to make all the decisions for him, you liked it just as much as when he made all the decisions. After the week you had of research and writing, you just wanted to be taken care of. That’s why you wore the dress, and that’s why you wore the lipstick. You knew it would work him up all night.

“What are you gonna do to me, Harry?” You ask innocently once he’s gotten you on the bed.

“What do you want me to do?” He asks as he shrugs his shirt the rest of the way off and sets his glasses down.

“I want…you to do whatever you want.”

“You sure wanna give me the full reigns like that? Because I would love to-“

“You’re not fucking my ass.”

“Ever?”

“I’ll tell you what, I get to do you first. You should have to feel what it’s like, and if it doesn’t hurt, then you can do me.”

“Okay.” He shrugs.

“Okay?!”

“Yeah.”

“You want me to fuck your ass?!”

“If it means I get to fuck yours, I’ll even let you tie me up when you do it.”

“Oh…well, that’s actually pretty tempting.” You look off as if to think about it. “A conversation for another time, though. For now…just do whatever else.”

“Okay.” He knees onto the bed and hovers over you, kissing you tenderly. “I’m gonna fuck you with these heels on.” You giggle at him. “With just these heels on.”

The best kind of shiver goes up your spine and you bite your bottom lip. You get off the bed and stand so he can unzip your dress. Harry slowly drags the zipper down, and kisses on your neck and shoulder. Your dress drops to the floor and you smirk as you turn around.

“What…the…” His eyes nearly pop out of his head.

He thought you were simply wearing black nylons, but you had actually worn thigh high stockings attached to a garter belt. You had a pair of black lace panties and a bra to match.

“Do you like it?”

“You’ve been spoiling me with all these little outfits.” He hands go to your hips. “You look so incredibly sexy, Y/N. How’d I get so lucky, hm?”

“I ask myself the same question all the time, Harry.”

His hands slide up your back as your mouths reconnect. He unhooks your bra and tosses it somewhere before getting you back on the bed. He kisses on your neck while his palms rub over your breasts, getting your nipples to pebble. He tweaks them a bit before working his mouth down to nip and suck. He practically slobbers all over you, but you don’t care at all, his mouth on you feels too good. You realize he’s giving you a hickey right on your nipple and you groan.

Harry works his way down your body, biting at the parts of the garter that were attached to your stockings. He tugs it all the way off, leaving you in the lace panties, stockings and heels. He licks his lips before kissing you through the lace.

“H-Harry, please.”

“Just wanted to see how wet you were.” He smirks and tugs the panties down your legs. “Good now?”

“Mhm, thank you.”

He opens your legs and blows softly on the area before licking the flat of his tongue up your center. He had you right where he wanted you, so he stops and you look up at him.

“Get on your stomach for me.” He says. You furrow your brows in confusion but you do as he says. You start to get on your hands and knees, but he stops you. “Nope, just stay flat on your stomach, babe.”

“Okay.” You rest your chin on your folded arms.

Harry sits on his calves next to you and starts running his hands over your ass. You fucked up when you told him he could do whatever he wanted because now he was just going to take his sweet time with you. His hand slips between your cheeks and he rubs around your folds. You take a deep breath as he daintily plays with you. He would take his hand away and your body would arch to chase after him. He was getting you wetter with each touch. His middle finger slides inside you and just as soon he slides it out. You look over at him and see the slight smirk on his face as he looks at his now sticky finger. He does it again and again, and then he slides two fingers inside you.

“Harry.” You whine.

“You’ve been stressed, I want you to relax.” He says as he slowly fingers you. It was agonizing, but it felt good the deeper he would go.

He slides his fingers back out and drags all of the wetness up to your other hole, and then he slides back inside, nice and deep. He shifts himself a little so he could still finger you, but his other hand had a grip on one of your ass cheeks so he could see what he was doing better. He brings his mouth down to nip at your plush skin, and then his tongue slides over your hole. You grit your teeth from the sensation. In the five months you’ve been intimate with Harry this aspect of things still surprised you. You welcomed it because he knew what he was doing and it made you feel really good, but it was still surprising nonetheless. You squeeze around his fingers and start grinding against him and the bed. You start breathing heavier, and you feel your orgasm bubbling up. He feels it too, so he pulls his mouth and fingers from you.

“Harry, please don’t edge me tonight, come on.”

“For someone that wants me to be in charge you sure like telling me what to do.” He smirks down at you, and smooth some hair away from your face. “If you wanted it quick why didn’t you just fuck me instead?”

“I…I…I don’t know.”

“Don’t worry, I’m not gonna make you wait for long. Just…humor me, yeah?”

“Okay.”

He smiles and goes to sit up against your headboard. He opens his legs and looks at you.

“Come sit in front of me.”

You sit up and do just that. He uses his legs to hook over yours to keep yours open. You welcome the weight of his on yours. He didn’t want you to be able to clamp together, this you were sure of. He makes a fist with your hair and wraps it around his wrist to move your head how he wants. He tilts your head so you’ll look at him, and he leans in to kiss you. Just as his tongue meets yours, his other hand travels down your body, giving your breast a nice squeeze before getting to your clit. You gasp into his mouth. His lips don’t leave yours even though you’re practically breathing him in and out. His fingers go between your folds, gathering all you’ll give him, and then back to your clit to rub circles into you. You hook an arm up around his head to tug at his hair, and your other hand digs into his thigh. He loved when he could get you like this, just totally at his mercy.

“H-Harry.” You mumble against his lips. He sucks on your bottom lip as two of his fingers slip inside you while his thumb stays on your clit. “Fuck.” You breathe.

You were getting close again, and you wanted to close your legs desperately, but his were stronger, so he keeps you in place. He does let you grind against him, though, so you’re grateful. His curled fingers were petting perfectly against your spongey front wall. You could feel how swollen your lips were getting from him continuously kissing you.

“Oh…oh my god.” You moan.

“Yeah? Feel it coming?”

“Yes.” Your eyes flutter open just for a moment, and you see him waiting for you to finish your statement. “Harry.”

“I want you to feel so good, come for me, Y/N.” He says as his lips ghost against yours.

“Shit, H-Harry.” You were squeezing around his fingers again. “Feels amazing.”

“Let go, Y/N.” He bites at your lower lip again and starts rubbing your clit furiously.

“Oh, fuck!” You start panting against him and then you lose it. Your head rolls back against his shoulder and your back arches. Your nails press crescents into his thigh. He rubs gentler as you come down from your high and catch your breath. He presses kisses to your cheek and neck.

“Wasn’t so bad was it?” He whispers into your ear, causing goosebumps to raise all over your body. “Waiting just a little bit?”

“No, it was fine.” You crane your neck to look at him. “You just like to play too damn much.” You smirk, and it makes him laugh into your neck. “Will you fuck me now?”

“Yes, baby.”

He lets you settle comfortably onto your back as he gets his boxers off, and a condom on. He gets on top of you and slides in, a sigh of relief leaving your lips. You hold him close to you, wrapping your arms and legs around him, your chests rubbing against each other. He rocks in and out of you as you hold his head to your neck. He sucks on your skin, overwhelming all of your senses. You start feeling your eyes burn with tears, and you try to blink them away. Oh no, you think to yourself. He kisses up your cheek and feels the wetness from the tears, and stops altogether to look at you, cradling your cheeks his hands.

“What’s happening, am I hurting you?!”

“No! I…” You start laughing as you cry. “I just feel really good.”

“So you’re crying?!”

“It happens sometimes. I can’t really control it…it’ll stop on its own.”

“Fucking scared me.” He chuckles and wipes his thumbs under your eyes. “You…you look like a raccoon.” He bursts into a heavier laugh and so do you.

“Good, can’t wait to see how fucked up I look when we’re done.”

//

You did look awfully fucked up, and you washed your face accordingly before getting into bed with Harry. He wraps himself around you, and you almost feel high from how cared for he makes you feel. He was like the teddy bear you always wished you had growing up. Harry came with a lot of baggage, more than you really thought, but then again you only knew so much about him when you were just friends. Sometimes it scared you to basically be stepping into a motherly role for Andy when you had no idea how to be a mom. You babysat when you were younger, and that’s all you really had to base watching him on. But times like these, when Harry was holding onto you like his life depended on it, you really felt like none of it mattered. You’d take being a little scared of the unknown over being without him completely any day. You were happy that you were friends for a while before you got together, but knowing what you know now, and how happy he made you…perhaps you would have been less stingy about your feelings towards dating a colleague.

//

Sunday evening you were cooking dinner with Harry at his place. He had let you be Saturday so you could get some chores done, and so you could work, which you greatly appreciated. He did, however, ask you to spend the night Sunday because he wanted you there when Andy got back from Connecticut. The conversation they had on the phone Saturday after the funeral was rough, and Harry didn’t know if he could handle Andy being so emotional alone.

Just as you were getting the casserole you were making into the oven, you both hear the front door open. Andy looked exhausted, as did Paige. He perks up a bit when he sees you with Harry.

“Hi.” He says shyly. “I’ll come out in a minute, I just wanna put my stuff away.” He says and goes to his room.

“How was it?” Harry asks Paige as she steps further into the home.

“Rough…I…can’t believe I really had to say goodbye to my dad, you know?”

“I’m so sorry.” You say.

“Thank you.” She swallows. “Um, my mom is in the car, so I can’t stay long. She’s going to move in with us…which was a super fun conversation to have. Allie is taking care of her condo, and we were able to pack most of her essentials while we were there.”

“If there’s anything I can do…” Harry says.

“I know, I’ll let you know, thank you.”

“How is she holding up…your mom?” You ask.

“As good as she can. I think she’s still processing everything, she’s been stoic during the day, but I’ve heard her cry at night. I’m glad she’ll be with all of us. Noah was a huge help in keeping her distracted. He actually ended up coming with Rachel on Thursday.”

Harry looks at you quickly, and then back at Paige.

“I figured he would. Is everything fine with you two?”

“Water under the bridge…he also…feels bad for how he spoke to you.”

“It’s fine.”

“Anyways, Christmas will definitely be interesting this year, but we’ll all get through it together. There are some things I need to meet with you about…some stuff in my dad’s will you need to know about. Would you be able to meet for lunch or something this week?”

“Sure.” Harry takes out his phone to look at his planner. “I’ve got time Wednesday if that works for you.”

“Wednesday works. I’m gonna be working from home for a bit to get my mom settled, so I’ll be able to meet you easily.”

“Alright.”

Andy comes back out with his hands in his pockets.

“I’m gonna get going, honey.”

“Okay.” He gives his mom a big hug. “Love you.”

“Love you too.” She waves off to Harry and you before leaving.

Andy looks at the door for a few moments and then turns to look at Harry. His eyes well up, and his bottom lip quivers.

“Come here.” Harry says softly, and Andy throws himself into Harry’s arms. “I know, you’ve been through a lot.”

You come over to the two of them to rub Andy’s back, and it helps him breathe easier.

“You’re really brave, Andy. You did a good thing by going with your mum.” You tell him.

“If you wanna take another day off from school you can.” Harry tells him.

“No, that’s okay.” Andy sniffles and looks up at the two of you. “I miss my friends, and I just wanna get back into my routine.” He steps away from Harry and wipes his eyes. “Can I go call Brandon?”

“Sure, dinner will be ready in an hour if you feel hungry.”

“Okay.” Andy looks at you. “Are you staying the night?”

“I’ve been invited to, yes.”

“Good.” He smiles. “I like it when you’re here.”

Your heart nearly bursts as he walks down the hall to his room. Harry kisses your cheek and goes back into the kitchen.

“How are you doing, are you okay?” Brandon asks Andy over the phone.

“I’m doing better now…yesterday was the worst. I don’t think I’ve ever seen my mom cry so much. Noah helped her calm down, but…”

“But what?”

“Well, it’s weird, I’ve seen my mom cry before, and my dad is usually the one that can get her stop completely.”

“Your dad is so chill, it’s probably just his entire vibe, you know?”

“I wish he had been there.”

“Why didn’t he go?”

“I don’t really know. I guess my mom’s side of the family doesn’t exactly love him, but I don’t know why. She has to meet with him later this week to talk about something my Gramp left behind. No one tells me anything, though.”

“Did you get to see your cousins at least?”

“Yeah! It was so weird, like, people were laughing and having fun every day until Saturday hit. Then it all got real. I was looking at a ton of pictures of my Gramp from when he was young, and I sort of look like him…in the nose.”

“I was gonna say, you look just like your dad.” Brandon giggles. “It’s the hair.” Andy giggles too.

“That’s another reason why I wished he was there. My mom never gets the mousse right, only my dad really knows how to put it in.”

“Is that you get those really curly curls?”

“Yup.”

“Did you have to wear a suit?”

“Yeah, but I need a new one, I’m getting too tall for this one.”

“You’re gonna be a giant, Andy.”

“Last time I saw my doctor, she told me I was probably going to be six feet!”

“Holy shit!”

“I know!”

“So…you’re gonna be back in school tomorrow?”

“Yeah, did you get all my homework for me?”

“Mhm, it’s in my locker, and I took notes for you too.”

“Thanks.”

“No problem. It was really boring while you were gone…I…you know, I missed you.”

Andy could feel his cheeks heating up.

“I missed you too.” He says softly. “Um, maybe you could come over sometime this week. I’m sure I’ll need help catching up.”

“Yeah! Hey…you missed when we talked about bus buddies for winter program, and…well…you’ll be mine again this year, right?”

“Who else would I sit next to?” Andy laughs. “Of course.”

“Okay cool, just wanted to make sure.”

The oven goes off and you take the casserole out. Harry takes a big whiff and hums in adoration. He wraps his arms around you and kisses your neck.

“Smells so good, babe. Thank you for putting this together.”

“Oh, it was no problem.”

“Ahem.” Andy says, smirking at the two of you. “You could save that for your room, you know?” He says as he sits down at the table.

“It’s just a hug.” Harry rolls his eyes, and cuts up the casserole as you get the plates.

“Right.”

“How’s Brandon?” You ask, trying to change the subject. You set a plate down in front of Andy and he thanks you.

“He’s good…he asked me to be his bus buddy for winter program again this year.”

“That’s good.” Harry says as he sits down.

“And he got all my homework for me and took extra notes. I told me we could hang out after school at some point this week, would that be okay?”

“Sure.” Harry shrugs. “I could bring you both to school so you could get your homework done.”

“No, I’d rather hang out here if that’s alright.”

“Okay, just pick a night and let me know so I can make something good for dinner.” Harry smiles.

Andy chews on his inner cheek, having not taken a bite of dinner yet.

“Andy…I can make you something else if you’re not into the casserole.” You say.

“It’s not that…my stomach just feels weird.”

“Weird how?” Harry asks. “Do you think you caught a bug or something?”

“No…I…feel, like, nervous? I can’t really describe it.”

“Nervous about what?” You ask softly.

Andy looks at you and goes to speak, but then he looks at his dad, and decides to take a bite of food instead.

“This is good, Y/N, thanks for making it.”

You and Harry look at each other. You know it’s best not to pry, so you let Andy sit there and eat. After dinner is cleaned up, Harry goes to take a shower since he didn’t have time earlier.

“Y/N?” Andy says to you shyly.

“Yeah?”

“Um…you’ve never seen my room before, would you like to?”

“Sure! I’d be honored.” You smile and walk down the hall with him. He shows you everything and you look around. “This is a really nice space, Andy.” You note the Ariana Grande poster on the wall. He also has a smaller poster of Michael Che and Colin Jost. “Do you watch SNL?”

“Sometimes Dad lets me watch reruns, yeah.” He looks over at his poster. “They’re both really funny, even if I don’t always get it.”

“Yeah.” You smile. “My dad used to tape SNL so we could watch it at as a family on Sundays. Then he could fast forward the more adult content.” You chuckle. “And you like Ari?” You point to the other poster.

“Her voice is pretty.” He mumbles.

“I think so too. She’s very talented.”

“Dad said he’d take me to see her next time she tours…but he doesn’t really like her music.”

“Well, luckily for you I do, so I’ll just go with you.”

“Really?!”

“Sure.” You shrug.

“Y/N?”

“Yeah?”

“Do you ever feel nervous around my dad?”

“What do you mean?”

“Like…how did you put it one time? Butterflies, can butterflies feel like being nervous?”

“Sometimes.” You sigh with a smile. “Yeah, your dad gives me butterflies a lot.”

“Does it ever feel scary?”

“It did at first, but now I welcome it. Is that the type of nervous you’re feeling?”

“I don’t…I don’t know.” He starts sniffling and you’re not sure what to do.

“Can I sit next to you?” He nods yes and you sit next to him on his bed. “Would you like a hug?” You didn’t want to just touch him without asking. He nods again, and you put your arm around him. He leans into you. “Is this because Brandon told you he missed you?”

“I just wasn’t expecting him to say that. I told him I missed him too. He said school was boring without me. I…he makes me feel this way a lot, and it keeps happening more and more, but I don’t really know why.”

“You two are just really close, it’s okay.”

“Did my dad give you butterflies before you got together?”

“He made me feel nervous, yeah. Like…I guess I wasn’t putting two and two together much when he would say or do certain things. I had a feeling he might like me, but it took me some more time to realize I liked him too.”

“You know how I knew he liked you?” He looks up at you with a smile.

“How?” You smile down at him.

“He started talking about you a lot at dinner. At first he’d say my friend said something funny today, or on Sunday nights he’d tell me he went out with his new friend, or how smart his new friend was during game night. Then he started using your name, and anytime I’d ask him about you he’d, like, smile before answering. It was obvious.” He rolls his eyes. “Then when you came on that hike with us…I had never seen him so…”

“Rigid?”

“Yeah! Good thing I was there, or he never would have invited you to my party.” He scoffs.

“Yeah, good thing.” You give his shoulder a squeeze. “Andy…you have a lot of time to figure out how you’re feeling about things and people. Middle school is a really confusing time, but I want you to know whatever you’re feeling is totally valid, and I’m happy to talk any time, okay?”

“Okay, thanks.” He smiles at you, and you share a hug before you get up. “I’m gonna read and then go to bed.”

“Alright, I’ll let your dad know, sweet dreams.”

You come out to the living room to find Harry watching TV. You plop down next to him and sigh.

“That was cute.” He says to you without looking at you.

“What?”

“The chat you just had with him.” He looks at you now with a smile.

“How did you…?”

“I popped my head in for a second while you were sitting with him. I didn’t want to disturb the moment so I walked away quickly.”

“I think he has a crush on Brandon. He has butterflies when he talks to him, and judging by what Brandon said to him, I could see Brandon maybe having a crush too.”

Harry sighs and nods.

“I…I’m petrified of him getting his heart broken this young.” He runs his hands over his face. “I’m almost hoping it’s reciprocated.”

“I think we’re all hoping it is.” You give his thigh a squeeze and snuggle into his side. “What are we watching?”

//

Harry was really nervous to ask you the question he had been avoiding all day, but he was getting down to the wire, and he needed to rip the band aid. It was Wednesday, and Harry was supposed to meet Paige, but she couldn’t get away from her mother for lunch. She had some time in the late afternoon, though.

“Y/N?” Harry taps on your door frame and you smile at him.

“Hi, what’s up?”

“Could I ask a huge favor of you?”

“What do you need?”

“Would you be able to pick Andy from school? I can call them and let them know you’re safe for him to go with. I…wasn’t able to meet Paige for lunch, but she has time in a bit, so-“

“What time?”

“He gets out at 2:30…”

“Sure, I could do that. My last class ends at two.”

“God, you’re a lifesaver. I’m sorry if this messes with your afternoon.”

“It doesn’t. Do you want me to get something started for dinner or help him get started with his homework?”

“No, that’s alright. Oh, shit.” He groans.

“What?”

“Brandon’s supposed to come over after school, fuck.”

“Harry, I can get them both home. I can just work up in your loft, right?”

“You really don’t mind?”

“Of course not.”

Harry’s entire body relaxes and he comes over to you. He tilts your chin up so he can lean down to give you a steamy kiss.

“I love you so much, thank you.”

“You’re, um, you’re welcome.” You mouth feels dry all of a sudden. He kisses you again before you can get a sip of water.

“I’m gonna call the school and text Andy. I have to go in a minute, thank you, Y/N, seriously.”

You nod as he steps out of your office. It made you sad sometimes because Harry really was doing the single dad thing, and you knew it wore in him at times. You wanted to help alleviate things as much as could.

//

“I’m so sorry about lunch, my mom was insisting on coming for the conversation, and I just didn’t wanna put you through that.” Paige says when they sit down at a coffee shop that was a midway point between their homes.

“Thanks, I appreciate that.”

“Y/N’s picking Andy up from school?” Harry nods at her. “Good.” She swallows. “So…basically…my father put you in his will.”

“What?!” She slides some documents for him to read. “Why would he do that?”

“I don’t know exactly. He last updated it three years ago, and he left all these personal letters with it. This one was for you…take your time to read it.”

Harry takes the envelope and opens it. His eyes widen when he sees the pristine calligraphy:

Harry,

I know I haven’t always been the best father in law, or whatever I’m considered to be since you and Paige never married. Looking back on it, I know Lydia and I could have handled things better with you. I’ve had some time to reflect, and I know money can’t buy love, but I hope you’ll accept this as some form of an apology. Thanks to you, I have a grandson, and he’s one hell of one. I’ve loved watching him grow, and every day I’m thankful you didn’t just pack up and try to take him to London with you. I’m leaving him some money as well, mostly a trust fund that can be used for when goes to college. He can access it when he’s eighteen. My wish is for him to go to whatever college he wants, and not have to worry about the finances. The money I’m leaving you, however, is to be set aside for a rainy day. I trust Paige with what will be left to her, but I need to know you have something just in case she ever runs into any trouble. I know she can take care of herself, but I know if she ever had a problem she’d go to you first. I know she’s met someone new, but she still speaks of you so fondly. I’m glad you two have worked things out the way you have, even if I don’t always express it. That’s more so for Lydia’s sake. You know what they say: Happy Wife, Happy Life.

All my love,

Nathan

Harry was speechless, and teary eyed. He had no idea Nathan had been harboring such kindness. Why not pull him aside some time and just talk man to man? The last time Harry saw him was at Andy’s eleventh birthday party, and now he was just riddled with guilt for sort of being a dick. Maybe if he had made more of an effort to speak with him they could have had this conversation.

“Wow, uh…”

“His note to me made me speechless too.” Paige says. “I think…I think he knew he had developed a heart condition, and kept it to himself so we wouldn’t be worried. He always said being the father of two girls made him want to be our superman, so…”

“So he kept his ailments to himself.” Harry sighs with understanding.

“Course I was closer with him than Allie, but I feel like that happens with any youngest kid.”

“You were very precious to him. You could tell. Allie isn’t close with your mother either, to be fair.”

“Can you blame her? Who would want to be close to such a shrill woman?” Paige scoffs. “God, and now she’s living with me.” She groans. “At least she has her own area of the home.”

“Paige…you need to make sure you set some boundaries. This is your home that she’s living in now, you get to make the rules.”

“I’m terrible at doing that though.” She pouts. “And Noah doesn’t wanna make waves with her either, even though she loves him. You’re way better at laying down the law. You never had a problem standing up to her.”

“Because I had nothing to lose.” He smirks. “What could she say to me?”

“Very true.” She chuckles. “Anyways, the lawyers are going to be cutting all of the checks soon. Since it’s an inheritance you shouldn’t have to worry about it getting taxed as income, and the check will be mailed directly to your house. The money for Andy will stay in the trust fund he set up.”

“Right, okay, all that sounds good. I mean, I know we both put away for his college fund, but it’s nice to know we have some extra cushion for it.”

“Yeah, definitely.” She sighs.

“it’ll get easier, Paige.”

“I know…” She looks away for a moment. “I just feel terrible that he’s not going to get to walk me down the aisle.”

“Maybe Andy could do it.”

“No, I want him to walk my mom down.” She looks at Harry. “It doesn’t matter right now, anyways. It’s months away.”

“This summer, right?”

“Mhm…you got our save the date?”

“I did.” He nods.

“She’s invited too…Y/N…I’m assuming she’ll be your plus one.”

“Oh, do I get a plus one? Here I was thinking I’d go stag and try to get in good with one of your lovely cousins.”

“Harry!” She smacks his hand playfully. “Don’t even joke.” She rolls her eyes.

“In all seriousness, you really don’t think it’ll be weird with me there?”

“No, I want you there…everyone does. Does it make you uncomfortable?”

“Not necessarily.” He shrugs. “I want you to marry Noah. I just know other people are going to think it’s weird because they don’t understand how we all are.”

“Fuck ‘em.”

//

Meanwhile…

You get to the middle school precisely at 2:30PM. You weren’t sure if Andy remembered what your car looked like, so you decide to stand outside of it, and lean against the passenger door. It was a bitterly cold day, clouds covering the sun, but you don’t mind it. Slowly but surely you start to see kids trickle out. Lines going out to buses, and other kids meeting parents at their cars. Andy and Brandon come out all bundled up. You wave at them and they hustle over faster.

“Hi, boys!” You say brightly as you all get into your warm car. “How was school?”

“Good.” They say at the same time.

“Y/N, how come Dad couldn’t come get us?”

“What am I, chopped liver?” You scoff and it makes them both laugh.

“No…just wondering.”

“He had to go meet your mum to chat about some stuff. They were supposed to meet for lunch, but this time worked better so I’ll be taking you home and hanging out. Anything in particular you boys want for dinner?”

“Can we have pizza?”

“Nice try.” You look at them through the rearview mirror. “Dad bought plenty of groceries on Sunday, we’ll be eating in.”

“I thought you said she was fun?” Brandon whispers to Andy.

“She is.” He whispers back and you smile to yourself.

You get the boys inside, and they practically race to Andy’s room. You fix them with a snack of cheese and crackers, and then go up to Harry’s loft. You didn’t go up there often because it was his work space, but you needed the extra quiet. His setup was great. He had an extra docking station so he could just plug his computer in and use two screens. All you had at home was an HDMI and a spare monitor. Your eyes widen when you see he’s added a new photo to his desk. He had a lot of family photos on the walls up here, ones of him and his mum and sister. Ones of his nieces and nephews, quite a few of Andy. Your favorite was the picture of him holding Andy skin to skin when he was first born. But the new one sitting on his desk was of the two of you. He must have just gotten it printed because it was from Thanksgiving. Phil had taken a nice picture of the two of you while you were still at his place.

“God, he’s so sweet.” You pout at the photo and shake your head. Focus, Y/N.

After two hours you decide your eyes and wrists need a rest. You go down to Andy’s room and clear your throat to get their attention. Brandon was sitting on Andy’s bed with a notebook and textbook open, and Andy was sat at his desk.

“You’re still doing homework?”

“Sixth grade is heavy, Y/N.” Andy says.

“Yikes.” You chuckle. “Well, have you decided what you’d like for dinner?”

“Tacos?”

“Sure, I could make tacos.” You nod. “I know your dad got everything for that, and I bet he’ll like it for dinner too.”

“Do you need help?” Brandon asks.

“I can handle it, but thank you very much for offering.” You smile. “When you finish your homework feel free to go play some video games or watch TV.”

“Thanks, Y/N.” Andy smiles and turns back to his studies.

You nod and make your way to the kitchen. You were wondering when Harry would be home exactly. You didn’t think his conversation would take as long as it was. You knew you needed to make some ground beef for the boys, so you get that started first, and then you get the black bean crumbles together for you and Harry. The rest is pretty easy, you just needed to put out all of the fixings. Due to the sizzling of the meat in the pan you don’t even hear the front door open.

“Mm, smells like tacos in here!” Harry chimes as he takes his coat off. He comes over to you, wrapping his arms around you from behind. “You’re an angel you know that?”

“It’s just ground beef and taco seasoning.” You giggle as he plants kisses to your cheek before letting you go.

“No, it’s more than that. Thank you so much for getting them. What are they up to?”

“Finishing homework, I told them they could play video games when they were done, but dinner’s almost ready, so maybe that’ll be an after dinner thing.” You shrug.

“I’m gonna go say hi to them.”

You nod and watch Harry walk down the hall.

“Hi, boys.”

“Hey, Dad.”

“Hi, Mr. Styles.”

They were both sitting on Andy’s bed, looking at something on Brandon’s smart phone.

“Dinner’s just about ready, why don’t you both wash up and then come to the table?”

The boys get up and go into the bathroom to wash their hands. Harry comes out to you putting everything on the table.

“Smell so good, babe, thank you.”

“You’re more than welcome.” You smile.

The boys scarf their food down at dinner so they can play their video games. You and Harry don’t mind, it gave you a chance to have some adult conversation at the table. He tells you about the money Nathan has left him to put away, and he tells you about the letter he had left for him.

“That’s incredible.”

“I know, I’m still in shock, honestly.”

“How’s she doing?”

“Okay, I guess. It’s a really big change, you know? Losing a parent, and then having the other one move in with you. Her relationship with her mum is so strained, but maybe it’ll get better with them having to be around each other so much. That’s my hope anyways. Lydia can be such a…” He looks over at the boys and then back to you, whispering, “bitch.”

You nearly choke on your food from laughing. Harry cleans up the dishes since you cooked, and you go sit on the couch to watch the boys play Mario Kart.

“B, do I need to bring you home, or is Dad coming for you?”

“Dad’s coming around seven, Mr. Styles.”

Harry looks at his watch and sees that it’s quarter of seven.

“Did you get all your homework done?” He asks.

“Yes.” They both say at the same time.

Brandon’s dad comes to get him at seven, and he gives Andy a hug goodbye, and thanks everyone for having him.

“He’s so polite.” You say.

“Yeah, I’m really glad Andy is friends with him. Nice to have a good kid around him, you know?” Everyone goes back to the couch. “An hour of TV, then I want you in bed with a book, buddy.”

“Okay.” Andy says as he gets cozy on the loveseat.

Harry gets up a couple of time while the two of you watch TV after Andy goes to bed.

“What are you doing?”

“I just wanna see if he’s asleep yet, and he is. Totally zonked out now.” He grins at you.

“And?”

“So…” He nods towards his bedroom door.

“Oh!” You grin and get up. “You don’t think he’ll hear anything?” You whisper.

“Nah, he sleeps with music on.” Harry says as he closes and locks his door. “But locking the door can’t hurt for the time being.” He wraps his arms around your waist and pulls you into his chest. “Missed you today.”

“Missed you too.” You wrap your arms around his neck and kiss him.

“I wanna treat you. You were so good to me today, good to them.”

“Harry…I don’t need anything special for doing the bare minimum. I’m your girlfriend, and you have a kid, what I did today is just part of it.” You shrug.

“Even still.” He kisses you. “I wanna make you feel good.” You raise an eyebrow at him. “No teasing, I promise.”

“Okay.”

You strip yourself of your clothes and lay down on his bed. He strips down to his boxers and hovers over you, taking the time to lick into your mouth, to kiss you like he needed to. He’s wanted your tongue on his all day. Kissing you alone really did just make him feel good. It made him feel fuzzy all over, and he loved it. He trails his mouth down your body, not spending too much time on your breasts, but enough. He really didn’t want to make you wait that long this time. He parts your legs and kisses from your knee to your inner thigh, leaving a couple of love bites behind that had you squirming.

He sucks two of his fingers into his mouth and then brings them down to your center, pushing inside and twisting. He watches as your eyes roll back, then you prop yourself up on your elbows so you can watch him. He pumps in and out of you twisting his fingers each time. He sits up slightly, getting one of your legs over his shoulder, and uses his other hand to rub at your throbbing clit.

“Fuck, Harry.” You grit your teeth.

“Good?”

“Mhm.” You whimper.

“Good.” He kisses your knee and continues on with what he’s doing.

He does something that surprises you when he lets your leg go back on the bed. His fingers pump in and out of you slower, now starting to curl up, but he wells up some spit and lets it drip from his mouth and down to your clit. Your mouth falls open and your cheeks heat up. He flashes you a smirk before bringing his mouth down to your clit. He sucks harshly on you and you have to bite down on your forearm to keep from moaning out too loudly.

Harry moves his face from side to side, and then looks up at you as he keeps his mouth on you while letting more of his spit pour over you. One of your hands flies to his hair for you to tug on and his eyes flutter closed. His tongue laps around your clit as his fingers continue to work magic inside you.

“H-Harry.” You moan in a whisper. You were getting closer, and you didn’t know how much longer you could hold on for, not that you really needed to, but everything just felt so good you wanted it to last.

He makes the ‘come here’ motion inside you as fast as he possibly can, the tips of his fingers no doubt pruny at that this point from how drenched you are. You bite your bottom lip so harshly you think you’ve broken the skin. Your vision goes hazy and your back arches off the bed. You hear a ringing in your ears from the all the rushing blood. He gives you a moment to compose yourself before licking you clean. Your body jolts up from the sensitivity.

“God.” You breathe as your vision becomes clear again. “You’re, like, too good at that.”

“Thanks.” He chuckles as he straddles your hips.

“How come you like eating out so much?”

“Almost six months together and you’re just asking that now?”

“I’m suddenly very curious.”

“You’re stalling cause you’re sensitive.”

“Not true.” You scoff.

“Alright, well, I just like it.” He shrugs. “Nothing more to it than that. I like making other people feel good, it helps make me feel good. I’m always throbbing by the time I’m done, you know that.”

“Sorta seems like you have a praise kink.” You smirk. “It makes sense, you like hearing your own name, you get off making someone else feel good. Should I moan more about how good it feels, would you like that, Harry?” You bat your lashes at him.

“I’m getting the condom.” He says as he gets off you, disregarding your question. He slides his boxers down his legs. “Are you gonna be able to keep quiet?”

“I’d love to record us just once so you could hear how much fucking louder you are than me.”

“Don’t even fucking tempt me, you know I know how to set up a proper shot. Could have a professional looking porno on our hands.” He smiles coyly as he slides the condom onto his length.

“Lucky for you I have zero desire to watch myself get fucked.”

“Too bad, you’re so beautiful when you’re getting pumped silly.” He lips ghost over yours as he slowly slides inside you and you gasp into his mouth. “God, you always take it so well.” He smears his lips along yours and takes your bottom lip between his teeth.

“Want it from behind, need to feel you deeper.”

“I’ll do you one better.”

He pulls out and pulls your body so you’re bent over the bed. You prop yourself up on your elbows and he slides back in. You could really feel yourself stretching to fit him. He was nice and snug, and it just felt so right. He grips the back of your neck with one hand and keeps the other on your hip as he gives you long, deep strokes.

“Oh my fucking god.” You groan and clutch at the comforter.

“Better?”

“So much better, fuck, Harry.”

He starts ramming into you, almost making the bed move on the floor. You had to shove your face into the mattress to stifle your moans. He takes his hand off your hip, still using his other one to grip the back of your neck, and sucks his thumb into his mouth for a moment. Then he takes it to rub on your other hole, something he’s done plenty of times before. You were panting into the blankets, and then you come up for air when you feel his tip brush your g-spot. You press your cheek to the bed so you can breathe and moan out.

“Right there, don’t stop, don’t stop, don’t stop, please.”

Harry grunts over and over, biting into his bottom lip, making sure to keep pleasing you. He grits his teeth because he’d be mortified if Andy heard anything. He was thankful that the rooms weren’t right next to each other at least. To make sure you stay quite though he yanks you back to him, still driving in deep, his hand moving to rub your clit, and his other hand moving to open your mouth. You take the signal, and start sucking on two of his fingers. You end up biting down on him when you feel your release come, and he bites into your shoulder to keep himself from screaming. He plants kisses over your shoulders as you both calm down. You release his fingers and he pulls out slowly. You turn around to face him and you kiss him.

“I love you.” Kiss. “I love you so much.” Another kiss. “Never gonna let you go.” You throw your arms around his neck and his eyes widen. No one ever said that to him before.

“I love you too, baby.” He holds you close to him for a few moments, and then eventually you both get cleaned up. He couldn’t stand there with a filled condom forever, after all.

Six months, six entire months. Harry hadn’t had a relationship that lasted this long in a long time, which was pretty sad considering he was almost thirty-three. He holds you a little closer tonight.

//

A couple of weeks went by, and you had gotten into a routine of staying over Harry’s place a couple of nights a week, and when Andy stayed at Paige’s, he’d come to your place, just to keep things equal. Hanukkah was just around the corner, and you had plans to go see your family, but Harry would be in London by then, which was no problem, so you both decide it’ll be fun to exchange gifts on a snowy Sunday.

“I’m so glad finals week is this week.” You say as you peel the potatoes for the latkes.

“Same here.” He says as he gets his food processor out. “But…the closer the semester is to ending, the closer I get to leaving…”

“You don’t sound very excited.” You raise an eyebrow at him.

“I mean, I am…I’ll just miss you.”

“Aw, I’ll miss you too.” You give him a peck on the cheek. “Maybe we can FaceTime and you can introduce me to your family.” You smile.

“I’d like that.”

“Y/N…?” Andy says, coming up to you both with something behind his back. “I was hanging up mine and Dad’s stockings, and…well, I made one for you.” He shows it to you and you gasp.

It was a blue stocking with silver glitter, and your name was written on it in glitter as well.

“Oh, Andy…this is so sweet.” You lean down to give him a hug. “Thank you so much, I’d be honored if you hung it with the others.”

“Okay!” He exclaims before going back into the living room.

“Did you know he was making me one?”

“I did.” Harry nods with a smile. “Had me take him to the craft store the other day after school.”

You pout and look back over towards the living room, then back to Harry.

“You’re raising a very good boy.”

Harry smiles and gets the food processor going to shred the potatoes and onions. You use a cheese cloth to get all of the water out, and then you mix the rest of the ingredients in, and Harry gets some oil going in the pan.

“Andy! Wanna help me form the pancakes?” You holler for him and he comes into the kitchen very excited.

“Yeah!” He washes his hands and helps you make the pancakes while Harry minds them in the pan.

It was a lot of fun for the three of you to cook together. Harry also baked sugar cookies. It wasn’t the healthiest meal, but that’s what the holidays were all about.

“That was so good, I’m stuffed.” Andy says. “I like it with the applesauce the best. I’ve noticed a lot of Jewish food is either fried or sweet.”

“Pretty much.” You laugh. “Are you excited to go to London soon?”

“Yeah! I love getting to see everyone. Grammy always gets me the best stuff.”

“Andy…we don’t go see Grammy because she buys you things.”

“I know that.” Andy mumbles. “But it does make it more fun.”

“What else do you like about going?” You ask.

“I get to see my cousins and my Auntie Gem.” He says as he starts to help clean up the plates.

“Alright, are we ready to decorate the tree?” Harry asks.

“Yeah!” Andy says and goes into the living room.

“Do you feel comfortable with that, Y/N?”

“Of course! Sounds like fun.” You smile.

Andy shows you his favorite ornaments, and explains why. He and Harry used to collect them, it was something just for them when he’d come to visit. You giggle when Harry lifts Andy up to put the star on top. You’re also extremely impressed because it couldn’t be easy to lift up an eleven-year-old.

“Since I won’t see you both for Christmas, I thought it could be fun to do this now.” You say as you grab your gifts for Andy. You and Harry already talked about doing this, but he pretends to be just as surprised. You all sit on the floor and you slide Andy his gifts.

“You didn’t have to get me anything, Y/N.”

“Oh, sure I did. How else would I score brownie points with your dad?” You wink at him and it makes him laugh.

He opens up one box that has a couple of t-shirts in it. One of them has LIFE IS UNFAIR on it with a picture of a roller skate under it. His eyes widen and he beams at you. The other one has CAN YOU REPEAT THE QUESTION? on it, and he smiles just as big.

“I know how much you like that show…so-“

“I love them!” He nearly tackles you with a hug, and you wrap your arms around him. “Thank you!”

“You’re more than welcome.”

“Where did you even find these?” Harry asks.

“I had them made on Etsy.” You shrug. “Here open this one.”

Andy rips the wrapping paper off, and gasps.

“Finally, I’ve been begging Dad for this game.” It was What Do You Meme. “Thanks, Y/N, I’ll be able to play this with my cousins.”

“You’re welcome.” You smile.

“I have something for you too, let me go get it!” He gets up and races to his room. Andy comes back with a small box that he clearly wrapped for himself. “Happy Hanukkah, Y/N.” He smiles and hands it to you.

“Thank you, Andy.” You tare the wrapping paper open, and then open the box. “Oh, wow.”

Andy had made a popsicle stick jewelry box, but he had spray painted it matte black and put some felt on the bottom of it. It was gorgeous, and you couldn’t wait to use it.

“Andy…this is amazing, thank you so much. I can’t wait to put all my rings and stuff in this.”

“Really? You’ll use it?”

“Of course I will! It’s just what I’ve been needing.”

“Cool.” He smiles and looks at Harry. “Well…I, uh, have some homework I need to go do, so…I’ll just be doing that.”

“Did you help him at all with this?” You ask as you move to sit on the couch with Harry.

“Nope, well, I set him up in the garage, but he did it all himself.”

“He’s very talented.” You look the box over. “Can’t even see where he used the hot glue.”

“I…could I give you my gift now? I don’t wanna wait until after New Year’s…”

“Sure! I have yours with me too!” You get up quickly and rummage through your bag for his gift and he grabs your from under the tree.

“Are you…upset at all that I won’t be here for the New Year?”

“Harry, I know it’s not ideal to be apart for it, but next year I’m sure we’ll be together to kiss when the ball drops.”

His cheeks heat up, and he leans in to kiss you.

“That sounds nice.” He nods. “I just felt bad…it was too soon to ask you to come with me, and-“

“Honestly…I probably wouldn’t have gone even if you did ask. And it’s not because I wouldn’t have wanted to, I just really need this time to get some work done.”

“Okay.” He gives your hand a squeeze. “I just wanted to make sure.”

“Thanks.” You smile. “Okay, open.” You plop your gift into his lap and he opens it with a smirk.

“Sunglasses?”

“I saw you looking at them at the Ray-Bans store…do you like them?”

“I love them! They’re great, how do they look?” He puts them on and makes a Zoolander face, making you burst out laughing.

“They’re perfect.”

“Thank you.” He takes them off and puts them into the case, and then kisses your cheek. “Here…I wasn’t sure what to get you…so I hope you like it.”

You side eye him for a moment, and then open up his gift. After clearing the wrapping paper you see it’s a flat, black velvet box.

“Harry…if you spent-“

“I know these sunglasses weren’t cheap, so I don’t wanna hear it, just open it, please.” You slowly open the box and your eyes widen. It was a beautiful necklace. The chain was silver, and the slide was a palm tree that had diamonds all over it. “You talk about how much you love the beach…so I thought you’d like the palm tree, but if you don’t we could go to the store and pick out a different one.” He watches you to try to read you a little, but you were speechless.

“I don’t want to return it…I…I love it Harry.” You look at it. “Would you put it on for me?”

“Yeah!”

You turn around and move your hair while he clasps the chain for you. You turn back around to show him. Usually it was him who looked like a wide eyed puppy, but this time it was you. No one had ever gotten you something like this before.

“It looks wonderful on you.” He tucks some hair behind your ear.

Normally you wouldn’t be so aggressive out in the living room with Andy home, but he did say he’d be in his room doing homework. You practically lunge towards Harry, wrapping your arms around his neck and crashing your lips on his. His hands cup your jaw as he sucks on your bottom lip.

“I’m so glad you like it.” He breathes as he presses his forehead to yours.

“M’never taking it off, and whenever someone asks where I got it I can say my amazing boyfriend got it for me, and I don’t care how cheesy that sounds.” You smile and kiss him again.

“It’s not cheesy at all, praise me all you want.”

“Don’t be silly.” You nudge him with a giggle. “Thank you, seriously, this was so sweet of you.”

“Sorry you won’t be able to use the jewelry box for it.”

“Oh, that’s fine. I have plenty of other things I can put in there.”

“Are you two done being gross?!” Andy shouts from down the hall.

“Yes!” Harry shouts back and starts cleaning up all the wrapping paper.

“Good.” Andy says, plopping down on the couch next to you. “So you like it?”

“Very much, your dad’s got quite the eye.”

Harry comes over with a mug of hot chocolate for everyone. He had been making it in the crock pot all day.

“So…” Andy takes a sip of his warm drink as Harry sits on his other side. “You know how last year I just stayed with Mum while you were still in London?”

“Yes.”

“It was sort of…annoying because I had to get up even earlier for school, and Mum is extra busy because of Gram, and I’d feel bad making her drive me for two weeks.”

“What exactly are you asking me? You can’t take two weeks off from school to stay in London, Andy…as much as I’d like you there.”

“No, I know that. Um…” He looks up at you for a moment and then back to Harry. “What if I stayed here with Y/N?”

“Andy…” Harry looks at you awkwardly. This should really be a private conversation, and Paige should really be involved. “Um, listen, your mum really enjoys having the extra time with you.”

“I know, but two whole weeks of all that back and forth?”

“If she’s fine with it, you could do like two long weekends with your mum, and I could stay here the rest of the time. It would sort of be like I was house sitting, Har.” You chime in.

“You’d do that?” Harry asks, almost shocked.

“Yeah.” You shrug. “If…Paige says it’s okay.”

“I’ll call her tomorrow to see how she feels about it. A couple of long weekends could be a good compromise.” He sips his own drink. “You’d really be okay with pick up and drop off?”

“It’s not like it would be out of the way, the school’s down the road.”

“I hope Mum says yes, I hated getting up early last time, and she doesn’t wake me up like you do.” Andy says to Harry.

“How does Dad wake you up?” You were very intrigued.

“I just go into his room and nudge him awake. Most mornings I have to rip the blanket away.” Harry chuckles. “How does Mum do it?”

“She yells down the hall that’s it time to get up and if I don’t she comes in and tickles me.”

“Hm, maybe I should try that.” Harry ponders.

“No!”

You and Harry laugh at Andy. You couldn’t believe he felt so comfortable with you that he wanted to be able to just stay at the house with you while Harry was gone. It meant a lot to you. You knew Harry couldn’t cut his trip short. The journal that publishes his works is in London, and he had a big meeting about his latest manuscript scheduled.

“So…you’d really stay here with Andy while I’m gone?” Harry asks you as you both get ready for bed.

“Yeah, as long as you feel comfortable with it.”

“I do.” He nods. “It means a lot to me that you’re always so willing to jump in and help.”

“Harry…” You slide into bed next to him. “You know...I care a lot about Andy. I love you, and he’s your son, and well…I love him too, simple as that.”

“This was the perfect day.” He beams at you.

“Yeah, it was.”

//

“He…he wants to do what?!” Paige was frantically running around her home while on the phone with Harry.

“I couldn’t believe it when he brought it up, but it does make sense…” Harry was putting some fresh polish on his nails while in his office. “He’d still be with you for a good chunk of time.”

“True…and it would save me from having to make all those extra trips.” She bites at one of her nails.

“Paige, please, that’s a nasty habit.” Her mother grimaces as she makes herself a cup of coffee.

“So…things are going well with your mother.” Harry says facetiously.

“Oh yeah, it’s all peaches and cream over here.” She rolls her eyes and goes down the hall to the office for some privacy. “Okay, so he’ll do two Friday to Mondays with me, and then spend the rest of the time with Y/N?”

“That’s the plan he’s hoping for, I believe. Are you okay with that?”

“Are you?”

“Yeah, I trust her with him. She’s been spending the night more with us, everyone seems comfortable.”

“Okay, well, if you trust her then so do I. Oh! She and I could finally have a little lunch date or something. You’ll need to give me her number so I can coordinate pick up and drop off.”

“I will, and yeah I think it’ll be the perfect excuse to get to know each other better.”

“Perfect, so I’m still set to get him at the airport on the first, yeah?”

“Yup, all that’s staying the same.” He pauses for a moment. “Are you doing okay? Is there anything you need?”

“I’m…better. Noah’s been a great distraction for my mom when I need a break. Allie and her hubby will be here for Christmas like always so that’ll be good, and she’s just about sold my mom’s condo, the paperwork’s almost done.”

“That’s great.”

“Thank you for asking though, I appreciate it.”

“No problem, just wanted to make sure.”

//

Harry and Andy were taking the Concord Coach bus to the airport, but you offered to drive them down to Logan since you’d be staying at your brother’s for the week. Andy thought you were a cool driver, way better than his dad and he let you know it right away. You drive them to the gate and get out to say goodbye.

“Safe travels.” You smile and give Andy a hug.

“Thanks again for driving us.” Harry says.

“Of course, I was headed here anyways.”

“Right.”

“Jesus, just kiss already, I’ll turn around.” Andy rolls his eyes and fiddles with his new friendship bracelet, making sure it was intact. Yes, Brandon and Andy made friendship bracelets for each other for Christmas, and Andy got the butterflies.

Harry glares at him for a moment, but you bring his attention to yourself.

“I love you, have fun.” You say to him as you wrap your arms around his neck.

“I love you too, I’ll let you know when we get there.” He puts his hands on your hips and kisses you. You didn’t want him to let you go, but you knew he had to.

“Dad, the police are gonna yell at us, come on!”

“Okay!” Harry whips his head to look at Andy. “He and Paige both have your number, so that should be all set. If you need anything from me, don’t hesitate to call, I don’t care what time it is.”

“It’ll all be fine, Harry.” You smile and lean up to kiss him again. “Go on.”

He nods and takes Andy’s hand to go into the airport. You get back in your car and drive off. You’d miss Harry like crazy, but you were excited to spend some time with your family and spend New Year’s with your friends like always. Consistency put you at ease. You were also looking forward to getting some work done without any major distractions. When you get to your brother’s place, the wine comes out immediately.

“Okay, so this is like…the are you a good mom test.” Julian says. “I mean, you’ll be alone with his kid for two weeks.”

“It��s not a full two weeks…and I’ve been home alone with Andy before.”

“Yeah, but you’re gonna be responsible for keeping him alive for longer than just a few hours.” Phil says. “Man, look at that necklace, it’s so beautiful.”

“Thanks.” You blush. “It was so sweet of him. Taking care of Andy is gonna be a piece of cake, he’s like my little buddy now. I’m more nervous for the one on one I’m going to have his mother.” You grimace. “We’re gonna have brunch or something.”

“She just wants to get to know you better, Y/N. Is that so bad?” Phil asks.

“No! It’s not bad at all, and I know I’m lucky that Harry’s ex isn’t some crazy bitch, she’s really nice, it’s just awkward. I’m fucking the guy she used to fuck…I’m in love with the guy that used to be in love with her.” You take a sip of your drink. “I know why she wants to meet…things are serious between Harry and I, and she probably just wants to make sure a psycho isn’t around her son.” You laugh.

“Speaking of seriousness with Harry…” Julian says. “You’ve been together, like, six months now right?”

“Mhm.” You smile and bite your bottom lip. “It’s going really well.”

“Have you two talked about where you see it going, though?” Phil asks. “I know it’s an awkward conversation to have, but I certainly would like to know what his intentions with you are.”

“I see it lasting, and I think he does too…”

“But have you talked about?” Julian asks.

“No, it’s sort of too soon, don’t you think?”

“No.” They say at the same time.

“Not when he’s almost thirty-three and you’re twenty-seven, Y/N. You’re not exactly kids.” Phil says. “I don’t want him wasting your time.”

“He’s not! We just haven’t talked about all that, I’m sure we will. We exchanged keys, that was a big deal. I’m sure we’ll have the conversation soon, maybe when he gets back.” You shrug. “The department’s getting together to take him out for his birthday, I made reservations at our favorite Thai place and everything.”

“That’ll be fun.” Phil says. “Do that, and then ask what the fuck is up.”

“Maybe not in those words exactly.” Julian chuckles. “But…you should know where you two stand.”

“I bet you we’ll talk about it once he gets a full report from Andy.” You smirk. “He’s bound to rave about me, or at least I hope he will. Harry hasn’t had a relationship in a long time, especially not one where his son has liked his girlfriend so much. I’ve also told him I don’t plan to go anywhere after I get my PhD…so we’ve had little snippets. You two worry about me too much. If I thought Harry was some fuck boy I wouldn’t be with him.”

“We’re just looking out for you, that’s all.” Phil says in defense. “We like Harry a lot, he was great to hang out with. I think you’ve found someone great, and I’m not trying to rush you into something, but I can’t help but worry about you, I’m sorry.”

“It’s okay, I understand.” You smile at them.

Later that night as you get into bed, you think over what your brother and Julian said. You did need to have a conversation with Harry. You loved him so much, but you needed to make sure you both wanted the same things.

Harry: landed, exhausted, but we’re here. You’re either in bed or out having drinks, but either way, I love you and sweet dreams

Your eyes light up when you see the message from your man.

You: had drinks, and now I’m in bed lol glad you got there safely, get some sleep baby, I love you too

[thedistantdusk]

Arcadia, Chapter 4

Well! What could happen next to our star-crossed investigative pair? Yeah idk, man... somehow, this fic got a lot darker than I intended. Anyway! Thanks again to the same folks, without whom this story wouldn’t be possible. None of this story is safe for work, and this chapter is no exception ;) 

Chapter 1, Chapter 2, Chapter 3

D A Y + F O U R

She’s not sure when she wakes up. Her eyes blink open in the bleary morning… that foggy gap between night and day. Blue-green light streams through the windows, coloring the bedroom like it’s underwater.

He’s the first thing she notices, all warm and curled beside her. Harry… her Harry. A sad smile graces her lips as it all comes flooding back. Mike. The tulpa. The shower. Harry…

But together, all of those things are uncomfortable. Bits of it were nice, but the whole thing makes her stomach churn. It’s much easier to—

She presses her bum against him, hoping that wakes him up. Hoping he takes the hint. Harry heaves a deep breath, but doesn’t acknowledge her. Ginny bites her lip and wiggles back. Again.

Finally, he responds. But not how she’d hoped.

“Let’s… not jump to starting that up again,” Harry murmurs into her ear, his voice graveled with sleep. “Ok?”

She whips around, brow furrowed. “So you’ve suddenly become unattracted to—?”

He barks out a humorless laugh and reaches for his glasses. “We both know that’ll never happen.” He takes her in, reclining on the tufted headboard; she can’t help but feel flattered by the red patches that bloom on his cheeks. “Erm…” He clears his throat. “Could you get a dressing gown, actually? I really want to have a serious conversation and…”

He’s never been able to concentrate while she’s naked, has he?

“Sure.” For some reason, her skin prickles as she rises to her feet to pad across the carpet. Exposed. She feels exposed, even though Harry’s probably seen her naked more times than she has. Because this time, it’s not so much that he’s seeing her body naked— it’s that he’s about to discuss things she’s tried very, very hard to deny.

Ginny emerges from the closet in a white dressing gown and gives Harry a little twirl. “Happy?”

His lips curl in a tired smile. “Not… exactly. But I’m hoping to change that.”

“Oh?” Ginny settles in the desk chair. She’s not keen on this conversation, but some part of her recognizes it’s long overdue.

Harry begins by clearing his throat again. “So. Erm.” He places his fingers in a steeple and studies them. “As I… admitted last night, I’ve never stopped loving you. It’s been an awful, awful five years, but frankly it would’ve been worse if we’d stayed together, under those circumstances.”

She opens her mouth to object, but he raises a hand to forestall an interruption.

“Let… let me finish. Because after Percy died...” He shoots her a significant look. “You changed. Ok?”

“That’s not exactly fair,” she snaps, peering at her painted toenails. “Of fucking course I changed. If I didn’t change, I’d be a bloody sociopath. Is that who you wanted to shag?”

Harry heaves a deep sigh. “No. And I’m not going to let you get away with twisting things… again. Ok? Please, just let me finish.”

She presses her tongue to the roof of her mouth. For fuck’s sake, why does she already want to cry?

“You changed,” Harry continues, “and I really don’t blame you for it, but you refused to talk about Percy, or that night, or- or honestly, even anything remotely sad! Ever!” He pauses to collect his thoughts; guilt stabs at Ginny’s stomach. She wasn’t aware this frustrated him quite so much…

“You threw yourself into schoolwork,” he adds, blinking at the far wall. “You lost interest in things you loved. We still had sex, but it was…” He winces. “Unattached. It was… it was like it didn’t even need to be me there, in particular.” His eyes flit back to hers. “I tried to talk to you about it loads of times, but then when you joined the Unspeakables, you just used that as an excuse.”

Traitorous tears drip down her cheeks. She brushes them away to defend herself. “I was already interested in joining up before that,” Ginny insists, her voice warbling. “You weren’t there that year, Harry. You didn’t see what it was like at Hogwarts. The Unspeakables were putting out all this… this rubbish misinformation about you and about muggleborns, and—”

“—All of that is well and good,” Harry interrupts, “but the fact is that you became a different person after Percy died, and after nearly a year of living with that, I’d had enough.” He shrugs. “And even five years later, you’ve never sought help, as far as I know. Professional help, from someone who knows what they’re talking about. Not the type of help you find at the bottom of a pint.”

He’s right, of course. It’s like a stinging slap in the face, but he’s bloody right.

“So!” Harry clears his throat again. “As much as I… enjoyed last night, that can’t happen again if we don’t fix what split us up before. You’re still convinced you killed Percy. Until you’re not? This”— he gestures between them— “can’t work. Full stop.”

Ginny swallows and stares into her lap. “I’m not responsible for my brother’s death,” she whispers, emotionless. It’s a mantra, an oath, one she’s so accustomed to repeating that it’s turned foreign and unfamiliar on her tongue.

“Oh, I’m aware,” Harry says, spreading his palms. “The whole bloody world is aware, Jenny.” He sucks his teeth. “But you aren’t.”

There’s a pause. Ginny bites her lip, tempted to launch the spring-loaded denial she’s learned through years of counseling. But this time, it doesn’t come.

Because Harry knows better.

Shit.

That fact settles in the pit of her stomach; what are the chances, really, that she found herself trapped and playing house with the only person on earth who knows better.

“I was the last to see him,” she mutters, eyes downcast. “I told him he’d never replace Fred. I was drunk. Stupid. Stupidly drunk.” She grips her head in her hands, but the words don’t stop. They’re shooting from her, spurred by years of grief and regret and bursting forth like a steam engine.

“My stupid fucking temper,” she continues, every syllable dripping with self-loathing. “Ruining everything. And then he goes and—” She makes a flailing gesture. “Offs himself. Right on my mother’s fucking birthday! The day before your parents—”

“I know,” Harry whispers, his voice pleading. “Ginny, I know. But please, love, it’s not your fault. It’s never been your fault.”

She can’t breathe. She can’t breathe. It’s too much to say it aloud, to admit it, to let the waves of regret wash over her. There’s a scuttling of movement as she blinks ahead, gaping like a fish out of water. She’s not even surprised to feel Harry wrapping his arms around her and bringing her back to the bed. To feel his lips pressing to her temple as her body wracks with sobs. And she can’t do anything but lean into him. She can’t do anything but surrender, completely. To indulge in feeling raw and vulnerable and alive.

She doesn’t know how long it takes to come to. It’s not until she’s clinging to his chest that she draws a deep breath.

“You never told me any of this,” Harry says softly, mournfully, his hand playing with her hair. He loves her hair. He’s always loved her hair. With a final sob, she admits— if only to herself— that she misses letting him love it. She misses how he’d bury his face in the crook of her neck. How he’d inhale deeply, right at the crown of her head, and blink down at her with a dreamy smile.

She misses him.

Fuck. She misses him. And not just shagging him… but the whole bit. The late-night snacks and discussions on quidditch plays and heated debates about the best brand of toilet roll.

“What… what if I agree to work on it?” she finally whispers, eyelashes thick with half-dried tears.

Harry sighs; his hands still haven’t left her hair. “If we both agree to work on it… because trust me, I’m not doing fantastic either.” He lets out a chuckle. “Do you know how weird that was, being the stable one for once? Anyway.” He waves this off and continues. “If we both work on it, with proper mind-healers…” He swallows. “I don’t see why we couldn't be physical. Eventually.”

She pulls back to give him a watery grin. “I love you,” she murmurs. For the first time in years, her chest feels full. Her heart warm. Like there’s a chance at something in the future that doesn’t involve work and sadness and takeaways.

But speaking of work.

“I’d erm. Like to keep things with us private,” she says, playing with a piece of lint on the duvet. “Especially from work. And my family. Because…”

The thought of Attica’s face, pinched in disappointment, is nearly enough to replace the progress they’ve made over the past day.

“No,” Harry agrees quickly. “That’s. Yeah. Especially from Ron.” He shudders. “Can you imagine how well that would go over?”

“Huh! That’s ridiculous, Harry.” She bats her eyes at him, her expression the picture of innocence. “You mean you don’t want my brother to know that you went down on me and promptly spunked your—”

He cuts her off with a laugh, tossing a pillow on her face. She pulls it off with a giggle before settling beside him.

“Didn’t think you noticed that,” he admits, trailing a finger down the side of her face. “I really hoped you were asleep.”

She stifles a yawn. “Mmm. Don’t have to be Hermione to put that one together. Clue one: you were down there, which you’ve always… enjoyed.” She sleepily raises her eyebrows. “Clue two, I’ve seen you do that before — more than once— and you always have this weird… sort of duck-walk to take your trousers off.”

Harry groans, his entire face the color of her hair. “Please, please, don’t stop on account of me.” He somehow manages a sarcastic drawl as he removes his glasses and places them on the bedside table. “Let’s continue to detail all the times I’ve finished too quickly.”

“Not just too quickly,” she corrects, kissing him on the nose. “I’m only talking about coming in your trousers, which you’ve also managed to do several ti—”

Harry snorts. “And how many times have you done it, then?” His green eyes dance with mischief. “Also more than once. As memory serves, our time at Hogwarts got a lot more interesting once you discovered the combination of my thigh and snogging. You just don’t have the equipment to make things particularly messy when—”

“Clue three!” she loudly calls over him. He has the grace to laugh as she turns so they're spooning, her bum pressed against his crotch.

“I… said I loved you,” she finishes, interlacing their fingers. “And that’s always… you know.”

Harry shudders; there’s a sudden rise of fabric against her bum. “Ok, speaking of embarrassing,” he admits, adjusting himself. “You’re actually going to have to erm. Stop saying that? For now? Because…”

“Trust me, Auror Potter,” she murmurs, dropping her voice to her best impression of Kingsley. “I haven’t forgotten.”

“Unfair,” he complains, toying with a piece of her hair. “As you can see, I’m a bit of a mess. It still turns me on when you say you love me.”

“Yeah, well, it still turns me on when you breathe,” she mutters, her eyes growing heavy. “Reckon we can just be messes together.”

Harry chuckles before burying his face into her hair. “I’ll always be your mess. Jenny.”

[c0ffeebee]

you got any rare kliego fic recs? i’ve probably read the first five pages of most kudos’d results but i know there are a ton that slip thru the cracks

ok, i'm sorry for replying so late, nonny, but i guess looking at the list you'll understand why ❤

i'll be honest with you once i've gotten into kliego i read through their entire tag of ao3 [at least those fics where i was ok with the tags and summary felt intriguing] so now i literally went through it again and picked those of the fics the names of which i remembered, and there's A LOT 😀 some of those are really popular, some not at all, but i remember loving those ❤

at first i thought i would tell you a bit about every fic on the list, but it would take me forever, so i will just give you titles/links, authors and summaries, hope it's fine ❤ look out for the tags tho, to know if you’re fine with everything! and some of those are benkliego ❤

i'm sure i forgot or missed something, but i did my best, trust me ❤

so without further ado i present to you: 

bee's big kliego rec list (in no particular order)

till you can breathe on your own by iwishii

Diego has never been more frightened than he is now, trying to help his brother reach the surface in time.

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practice makes perfect by iwishii

Klaus doesn't want to show up to parties totally inexperienced and virginal, so he asks Diego to help him get some practice in.

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master of my domain by achilleees

“You’re asking five 13-year-old boys not to jerk off for – it can’t be done,” Luther says. “Now that we’re older, it would be different, but back then –”

“Excuse me, I could do it,” Five says. “I could certainly outlast all of you.”

They all look at each other.

“Oh, no,” says Allison.

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the year that wasn't by achilleees

Diego turned to Five. “I’ve already, uh, lived today. This has already happened.”

Everyone went still.

“Ooh, that’s a mind-fuck,” said Klaus.

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The Weight of Himself by sarkywoman

If he could, Diego would unfurl his middle finger.

For the 'can only move the eyes' square at badthingshappenbingo. Reginald's experiments have devastating consequences on Diego, but both he and Klaus refuse to let that be the end.

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Laid Bare by MilenaDaniels

“So,” Five continued matter-of-factly, “you’re in a cramped, human sized box, in a graveyard where you can’t see light or hear sounds. What are the odds that you’re above ground?”

Diego blinked. He thought he’d been smelling the iron of his blood pooling and drying under his head but it was humid in here, and musty.

“Fuck,” Diego said.

Diego and Klaus are buried alive together.

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Flies in the Kitchen by yourfearlessleader

Klaus is sixteen and love is a rot.

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Before, During, and After by yourfearlessleader

Before the apocalypse, life was making the best of a bad situation, and Klaus found that he grew up to be very good at it.

During is, for lack of a better word, hard.

After they try to kill Vanya, after the apocalypse, after they jump through time to avoid it, after they survive and make up and a million and one other things, here they are.

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break it like you're breaking a code by findyourfortunefalling

"Are you planning to sit in a chair like a person today, or are we all eating our breakfast off of you this morning?"

"Kinky," Klaus purrs, but he rolls off the table anyway, and piles himself into a seat near the head of the table. Diego puts the plate of pancakes in front of him; he's put blueberries in them today. "Thank you, chef."

"Eat," says Diego. "Quietly."

Instead of replying, Klaus picks up a pancake with his fingers, stuffs the entire thing into his mouth at once, and chews noisily.

Diego sighs, and goes back to the stove. "Man, I remember a time when you were house trained."

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two boys emerging from shadowed hallways by spikeymarshmallows

After Ben dies, Diego drags a broken Klaus out of the Academy. They're both determined to never return, to find their own way out in the world.

Things are not as easy as they would like.

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the things i can't say by  spikeymarshmallows

"Diego, wait!" Klaus shouted, clutching Diego's arm.

"You look like Antonio Banderas with long hair," he choked.

*

Five times Klaus doesn't say 'I love you'.

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Into the Night by  spikeymarshmallows

"Hey," Klaus whispered, "hey, Diego, wake up." Diego grumbled, dragging his blanket higher up his body before settling again. "Hey." Klaus tried again, voice a little louder. "Hey, wake up." He poked at Diego's arm insistently.

*

The Hargreeves siblings go on late night adventure to get doughnuts

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all tangled close by spikeymarshmallows

They were all going to have to deal with the pheromones for however long Klaus' first heat lasted.

Diego was, in a word, screwed.

*

Five times Diego and Klaus have heat sex; and one time they don't.

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the kliego genderswap/sexswap by spikeymarshmallows

The name speaks for itself.

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The Fools' Journey by sweetstuff

After his release from prison on a manslaughter charge, Diego tries to leave behind the life he adapted to survive on the inside. He finds himself drawn to a beautiful and peculiar sex worker named Klaus in a local bar, and when danger strikes Diego makes a decision that will have them both running for their lives.

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and death i think is no parenthesis by laiqualaurelote

“You guys seem really chill about all this,” observed Ben. “By this point most people are running around screaming.”

“Occupational hazard,” said Klaus.

“I’ve lost a lot of blood,” said Diego. “I’m just accepting everything at face value right now.”

Allison is the best damn realtor in the business, and she is going to sell the Hargreeves Mansion if it kills her. Never mind that it’s packed to the rafters with the ghastly relics of grisly murders, or that there’s a vampire in the basement who looks like a 13-year-old, or that the medium she hired to exorcise its inhabitants keeps flirting with some of them, i.e. the one with the knives and the one with the tentacles. Or that if they all spend enough time together, they just might cause the apocalypse.

NotSiblings!AU that is basically The Umbrella Academy as American Horror Story: Murder House, though you need not have seen any AHS to read this.

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i got troubles (they won't let me be) by antipathy

“I don’t understand why you’re hung up on this.” Five didn’t bother to mask his scowl. “Let me spell it out for you: either you two fuck, or we all die.”

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Eye Of The Storm by shadowhive

Diego decides to surprises Klaus by taking them on a weekend trip, but it doesn’t go as planned.

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Mine, All Mine by Electra_XT

“No!” Klaus said. “Move the other way.”

“What are you trying to get a good look at, exactly?” Diego said.

Klaus blinked at him. His eyes were wide and kohl-rimmed, as fetching and alluring as the rest of him. “Why, your ass,” he said. “That thing is fine.”

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On Sight by Electra_XT

“Oh,” Klaus said, stopping in his tracks with his hand on the mouse.

Ben leaned over his shoulder. “‘Cute Latino camboy gives a show’?”

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Practice Makes Perfect Sense by punk_rock_yuppie

“Practice… kissing?” Diego asks.

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Aftershocks by punk_rock_yuppie

Saving the world is hard work, is Klaus’ last thought before succumbing to the heat of the puppy pile he and his other siblings have formed.

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Passenger by Cunninglinguist

“And you’re sure that’s okay?”

“I mean, yeah. It’s fine with me. All we have to do is ask Diego.”

“And you think he’ll be...cool with it?”

“Dunno.” Klaus shrugs and stirs his smoothie with his straw. “But I’m on board with it, and he usually gets on board with whatever I’m on board with, so. I’d say it’s at least worth an ask.”

Klaus feels Ben’s eyes burning into him as he sips his beverage. Sure, the idea of Ben possessing him had initially been about as appealing as a coffee enema, and the first few times in practice had been more than slightly traumatizing. But once they’d established ground rules and worked to get more in tune with one another, Klaus had come to find the experience to be...interesting. It could be pleasant, almost zen—there is no sensation in the world quite like being a passenger in one's own body. And to be privy to both his own sensations as well as Ben’s? Well, that’s something else entirely.

Which is why the idea of Ben possessing his body during sex both freaks him out and turns him on in equal measure.

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i am a dark and wicked thing by Cunninglinguist

Klaus is staring at Diego with hollow eyes, straw still perched between his lips. No reaction, not even a spark of joy or schadenfreude as he watches Diego disrupt breakfast. Diego shifts. He’s seen corpses before, and were Klaus not sitting close enough to touch, chest rising and falling visibly with his breath, Diego could easily mistake him for one.

Vampire!Klaus AU

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The Diamond Sinners by Cunninglinguist

Another drink and a half later, he’s finally back on the right side of numb. The house lights dim and a new dancer is announced. He’s gazing across the club, eyeing the buffet with semi-tipsy hunger, thinking that it’s probably time to call it a night, when suddenly, his heart stops dead in his chest.

There, onstage, rolling his lithe body sensuously against the pole like he was summoned out of one of Diego’s wet dreams, is Klaus.

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Broken Like Me by Starrstruck_64

“This s-s-stuff will kill you,” he says plucking the cigarette out of Klaus’ fingers, delighting slightly in the fact that he’d only partially stumbled through the sentence.

Klaus smirks and it’s such a far cry from his fun loving brother he had two weeks ago that Diego nearly flinches.

“Ever stop and think that’s the plan,” Klaus says moving to stand and reaching to snag the cigarette back.

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sing it out, hard as you can by plingo_kat

The first time it happens, Klaus doesn’t notice.

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Soft by Dirty_Corza

Sometimes, between the boxing matches and vigilante business, Diego likes to be soft.

Klaus and Ben surprise him by liking the softer side of him, too.

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Wait for it by nishiki

A mission gone wrong, a dream shattered.

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all that i have to lose by UnrememberedSkies

Diego does some good, and Klaus pays the price. 

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wasp by Chelseylovesllamas

Diego is scared of bugs, Klaus saves the day.

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Friday at Four by Kliegology

Diego's life takes a nosedive when he's forced out of work and into an art therapy class. He's clinging to his last shred of normality when he meets Klaus, who takes one look at him and threatens to tear it away.

“I think you’ll find you have a lot in common with the other people there,” The Therapist said, watching him shrewdly.

Diego was vividly reminded of the jittery, barefoot man in the pink fluffy cardigan. He snorted. “I don’t think so.”

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[undertalethingems]

Bark at the Moon, Chapter 4: Antagonized

<Previous / Next>

Or read on my Ao3>

Rating, Setting: Gen, Pre-canon

Chapter Warnings: None?

Chapter Summary: Flowey’s run out of things to do. At least, he thinks he has.

Flowey flinched at heavy crashing further up the channel; it sounded like something big had fallen in the trash heaps. Big things didn’t come through often, so as bored as he was he figured he may as well check it out. It'd be wild if it were a human or something besides garbage, but he wasn't going to get his hopes up. He ducked into the murky water and burrowed through the mud below to pop up between the piles of garbage, the best vantage point for spotting anything new. Didn’t look like much… wait, that one looked lopsided. He popped up closer to it, peered around the refuse, then checked the other side and gasped.

A skeleton lay half-buried in the pile.

It wasn’t just any old skeleton—or any new skeleton, for that matter. Inching around, Flowey could make out the shape of the skull and knew he’d seen it before. Only, it hadn’t been attached to a body, or appeared outside of battle. All of this was new.

“Um, howdy! You alright there, friend?” he called, wondering what kind of response he might get. As it turned out, he got none. The creature just laid there, eye sockets closed. Flowey frowned, and extended a vine to poke its scapula. “Hello? What are you, dead?”

Fangs sheared through his vine in a blur, and he grunted at the pain. The creature’s jaws snapped open and Flowey braced himself for the next strike, but his nerves faded to curiosity as the beast seemed frozen, jaws still open and eyes wide but dark. Slowly, it reached up with heavy claws to tug at its own teeth, then shut its mouth and curled a hand tight around its snout as if to hold its jaws shut. A hushed, weary whine escaped from it, and Flowey thought the tone was familiar.

“Uh, hey there!” he tried again, and the creature slowly turned to face him. “Sorry to wake you, but you didn’t look so good. Are you okay?”

The creature seemed to think for a bit, and he wondered if it understood him until it bunched its shoulders up into a shrug. Of course it would, if it was one of his.

“Fair enough. I probably wouldn’t be doing too good if I’d just fallen into a pile of garbage too,” Flowey joked. “Wait here, I’ll get'cha something to eat.”

It wasn’t far to the cooler of astronaut food someone had left down here ages ago, and he picked a couple packets up before heading back to his interesting new pal. He’d never thought he’d be making friends with one of these, but maybe it’d tell him how to beat that smiley trashbag. He pushed his way back up through the mud, and presented the snacks to the creature.

“Okay! Here you go, just take the wrapper off and—yeah, pretty good right? If you’re into weird, dried-out food, anyway. How ya feelin’ now, buddy?”

The creature made a humming sound. It was weird how much it sounded like him, and the glowing cyan irises that now filled its sockets were also familiar, but Flowey tried to ignore that. Probably just side effects of who it belonged to.

“So what are you doing all the way out here? I bet Sans is looking for you, he doesn’t let you guys out like, ever. Say! My name’s Flowey by the way, Flowey the flower. What’s yours? Do you even have one?”

The creature narrowed its eyes, then extended its left paw. Flowey gave it his vine, his own eyes narrowed as they shook, and the thing he knew as a gaster blaster cleared its nonexistent throat.

“heya. i’m sans.”

Flowey felt his brain break. “…What.”

“you seem surprised. have we met before?” the creature—Sans—observed, slowly sitting back on his haunches.

“Gh—no,” Flowey replied shortly, trying to recover his composure. “Not properly! I-I mean, I’ve heard of you, so, I know of you.”

“of course you have, everyone knows me,” Sans agreed. He leaned closer, grin seeming to turn sharp despite the fact it was already made of jagged fangs. “now, the real question is… who did you think i was before i introduced myself?”

Flowey grimaced--he’d slipped up.

“listen pal... i don't wanna jump to any conclusions, but it seemed like you recognized me. and if that's true… i think we’ve met before, and it was NOT under good circumstances.”

He’d really slipped up. Sans was standing now, looming over him ominously. No, no—he wasn’t ready to end this run yet, not when it had finally gotten so interesting! Sans was too perceptive for his own good.

Sans grunted as vines wrapped around his limbs, lashing him to the heap of garbage before he could skip away. More vines whipped out and wound around his jaws—Flowey was taking no chances, not when he had something so new to toy with. Sans was supposed to be a round, talkative, terrifying jokester, not a weird animal. But here he was, covered in heavy spines and on all fours with a long tail. Flowey wasn’t sure what he’d do with him, but he could figure that out later. Right now, he wanted to take his prize somewhere no one would find it.

Sans gave a bit of token resistance, but eventually went limp and let Flowey drag him along through shadowy caverns. There was much of Waterfall still uninhabited—places where it was too dark, too damp, too cramped—corners where perhaps no one had set foot for centuries. Flowey worked his way along until he found a small cavern that seemed perfect—he couldn’t even hear the distant dull roar of rushing water, and the only light came from a few glimmering crystals embedded in the stony walls.

“Okay smiley trashbag, wakey wakey!” Flowey sang harshly as he deposited his captive. “We’re alone. Tell me what the hell you are.”

Sans lifted an eyelid to gaze at him. “why?”

“I’m the one asking questions here! Besides… I’ll kill you if you don’t! Hee hee!”

“hm. sure you will.”

"Yeah! It won't be hard!”

“nope.”

“So, you don’t care if you die… but maybe… your brother!” Flowey threatened with a wicked grin, only to be met with the same nonchalance.

“ok.”

Flowey glared at him. “What, you really don’t care about what happens to your beloved, precious Papyrus?”

Sans shrugged. “eh. if you’re what i think you are… then it doesn’t really matter what you do, does it?”

Flowey curled his lip. “I’ll make you watch as I dust him bone by bone! You’ll be haunted by his screams forever!”

“that’s… pretty messed up, my dude. you need to talk?”

“Don’t turn this around on me!” Flowey shrieked. “I’ll destroy EVERYONE and make you watch!”

“hm… well, chances are you’ve already done that at least once. after all, you know what i look like,” Sans replied. “but it doesn’t matter what either of us do. i accepted that a long time ago.”

“And that’s why you’re a lazy slob who never does anything,” Flowey stated with contempt.

Sans shrugged. “yup.”

“Ugh, whatever. It's way more interesting to keep you alive now anyway,” Flowey grumbled. “You’re even more of a freak than before. I wonder… does your brother know you’re like this? I wonder what he’d think if he saw you.”

“wouldn’t care.”

“…Wait, are you saying you wouldn’t care, or that he wouldn’t care?” Flowey pressed, and Sans shrugged yet again. He was so frustrating sometimes, and Flowey scowled. “Ugh. I know what I’ll do. As much as I’d love to finally kill you, I think I’ll keep you alive… as my pet. You’ve humiliated me too many times, and now I’m going to repay the favor!”

Flowey laughed until he noticed Sans was falling asleep.

“Hey! Wake up! You really don’t care what I’m going to do to you?!” He shook the vines restraining his prize, jostling him awake.

“hmm? eh… not really. can’t be worse than what i’ve already been through, so it doesn’t really matter,” Sans murmured in reply, snuggling against the rough stone floor despite how he was bound.

“W-well…” Flowey stumbled, “maybe… you don’t care now! But let’s see how you feel in a month! Maybe even longer! Hee hee hee!”

Sans shrugged again. “in that case, i’m going to sleep. wake me in a month, ok pal?”

Flowey growled and tightened his vines until Sans was pressed to the floor, and leaned in to leer at him. “You listen here, trashbag. By the time I’m done with you, you’ll be—”

Bones stabbed up from the floor inches from his face, and he leapt back with a yelp.

“i’ll be what, kid? broken? dusted? flower’s best friend?” Sans said, a deadly chill in his voice as he fixed Flowey with one piercing eye. “fine. you have fun trying. but don't think this is gonna be easy. i'm not some helpless puppy you picked up off the street. i'm not like ANYTHING you've seen before."

Flowey felt a shiver run through him as he stared into Sans’ dark sockets, but he pulled a smirk. “Hah! What do you think I am, an idiot? 'Cause I'm not.”

Sans only chuckled dryly. “you keep telling yourself that. i’m going to sleep.”

Flowey growled, but held back. He needed to strategize. Sans wasn’t someone he could just threaten into submission, and knowing his stats, he couldn’t torture him either if he wanted him alive. He’d have to come up with some other way to get to Sans--but for now it might be fun just watching what his absence would do to his friends. Another smirk curled at the corners of his mouth, and he ducked below-ground to head for Snowdin, making sure to keep his prize tied up tight. He knew what the world looked like with everyone but Sans gone--it was time to see the opposite.

[smol-and-grumpy]

Teacher Of The Year - P.07

Pairing: Professor Dean Winchester x Reader

Summary: Heartbroken and restless, she walked into a bar with the full intention of getting smashed but she got more than she bargained for. Much more.

Warnings: Implied smut, teasing, NSFW

WC: 2640

SERIES MASTERLIST

“Uh.. Miss?” Dean says, eyeing her up and down, as he pretends to have forgotten her name. He also tries to hide the smirk that’s growing almost evidently on his face because he has just caught her off guard and the sound of his voice makes her jerk her face up to look at him. 

He wonders what she’s thinking about, if she was thinking about something naughty because her cheeks burn up and she looks a little flustered, “Please pay attention.” And then he plays his part, frowns at her, for good measure.

“Yes, sir.” Y/N nods her head, lips curve into a grin and the way she said sir has him all hot and bothered. She knows exactly what she’s doing to him and he thinks that maybe, she’s not so innocent after all.

  She holds his gaze while she slowly spreads her legs, feels bold and daring as she leaves them open, flashing her blood red lace panties before crossing them again. Dean’s jaw drops and his cheeks are a little pink. He clears his throat.

Later in the lecture, when her classmates are engrossed in their books, her phone starts to vibrate and when she looks up to Dean, he grins wide and wriggles with his eyebrows. 

She tries not to roll her eyes before taking her phone to thumb over her text messages.

D: Nice panties.

Y/N: Thanks. But why are you texting me when I, and I quote, ‘need to pay attention’?

D: Well, you started it. How am I supposed to teach when you constantly flash me your panties? Which btw, are fucking sexy, I must admit.

She does her best to swallow down the chuckle that wants to slip out.

Y/N: Too bad you can’t see them up close today.

D: Why’s that?

Y/N: I’ve got lectures the whole day plus a study group until late evening. I forgot about that last night, sorry.

D: As long as you don’t turn me on any more than you already are, we should be good. But I think I need to see you tomorrow and talk about your essay.

She looks up at him, sees him wiggling his eyebrows again and she almost chokes up laughing.

“Miss? Is everything ok?” He frowns at her then.

“Yeah, sorry, sir. Everything’s fine.”

 *

 D: Where are you now?

Another text from Dean as she sits in her last class for the day. He probably finished already

Y/N: In class.

It was short because she really should be focusing on what the teacher is saying.

D: Still wearing your panties?

She can’t help but grin at that text because he must be riled up. She’s sent him pictures between classes. Pictures she took while she went to the bathroom, pictures of her panties and her hand inside of them, rubbing at herself.

Well, there goes her focus, thrown out the window faster than lightning because now, she thinks that maybe it’s time to tease him some more, and lowers herself down in her chair. When the professor had his back on her, and the other students were all minding their own business. She spreads her legs and slips the phone in between, one hand parts her panties to the side, and her fingers quickly snap a picture before she sits back upright. 

It was a good one too. She could literally see how wet she is. And all because she can’t stop thinking of him.

She sends Dean the picture with a caption.

Y/N: Yes and they’re all wet because I’m soaked. Think I need to take them off soon.

Sitting back, she waits for his answer and she honestly doesn’t know if she has broken him because it’s taking him way too long. 

Just when she’s about to put her phone to the side it starts to vibrate and her classmate looks at her funny. She shrugs with a grin as she takes the phone and thumbs open her messages. It’s a picture message. From Dean. She opens it and oh god, she wishes she didn’t.

There’s a caption to the picture, too.

D: See what you’re doing to me?

On the picture, there’s Dean, well, only his middle part but she can clearly see it’s him, recognizes that freckled stomach when she sees it, could easily pick him out of a police lineup if she has to. He’s at home because he’s sitting on the sofa, and apparently only in his underwear. His cock is hard, she can see his dick print clearly. She pinches at the picture, zooming in to see the tip of his dick poking through the elastic of his underwear, a shimmer of pre-cum glistening in the light.

It’s honest to god a mouth watering sight. Her heart rate picks up and her cheeks begin to warm up. 

Gnawing at her bottom lip, she decides on her next steps. It looks damn inviting and she would give a lot to be able to taste him right now, can’t lie about that. Calculating the time in her head, she comes to the realization that she simply does not have enough time to go see him.

And while she knows that seeing him today is not possible, she types out a message.

Y/N: You’re a tease

D: Takes one to know one.

He’s probably right. She started it and she really shouldn’t bite off more than she can chew.

Tucking her phone away, she tries to listen to the last couple of minutes of her class and when the lecture finally ends, she gets another message.

D: I’m trying to grade papers but I can’t concentrate.

Y/N: Aww.. poor you. Maybe you should jerk off?

D: Or you could help me.

Y/N: Listen, I have to rush over to the library. Really Dean, you need to get it out of your system. I will probably fuck myself on my fingers later too.

D: Well, now I can not stop thinking about you fucking yourself on your fingers. Thank you very much!

She laughs while still staring on the screen because she can literally see him rolling his eyes at her.

 *

 Her fellow students are already waiting in the library when she arrives. She’s running late because of Dean’s distraction, and she tried to get herself off in the bathroom but it didn’t work so instead of chasing after a relief, she had to run across campus to reach the library on time. Her study group is not exactly thrilled about it and she understands. 

As soon as she sits down, the discussion starts immediately, Y/N didn’t even have time to take out her notes when they bombard her with the first question. It isn’t long though, until they let her off the hook and when the attention isn't on her anymore, she finds herself lost in her thoughts. Her mind wanders around, even if she didn’t want it to but there’s a tingly feeling between her thighs that she couldn’t satisfy yet and oh god, she wants to come so much, wants to get it out of her fucking system like she told Dean to do.

She wonders if she’ll survive until the end of her study group session, thinks that having to sit here is pure fucking torture. Nonetheless, she lowers her head in an attempt to read the last paragraph for the sixth time already and she does not think that she’ll get it in her head this time either. 

“Y/N? Your phone just went off.” Her friend takes a peak at the phone that sits next to her spiral notebook. “Who’s D?”

She jerks her head up, grabs her phone in a hurry. She hasn’t even noticed that her phone went off again and again because she was trying to get that paragraph into her head while she simultaneously tries not to think about his dick in her pussy.

“Oh, someone from tinder.” She says, because the best dick she ever had doesn’t sound like it was a good answer, and takes a look at the three text messages. The first one was sent  twenty minutes ago. 

D: How’s studying going?

D: Hey? You still alive?

D: Hello?

All of them are from Dean.

Y/N: Yeah, sorry, didn’t hear my phone and now my friend is asking who D. is.

D: Tell her it’s the best D you ever had.

Oh my god. She rolls her eyes.

Y/N: Even if it’s true. I’m not going to tell her that.

D: It’s true though, isn’t it?

Y/N: Shut up and let me study

D: Bossy. I like it. 

Y/N: Can you hear that sound? That’s me rolling my eyes.

D: Bratty, I like that too.

Y/N: Fuck you.

D: I’d rather fuck you.

She blushes ridiculously hard at that.

After a long while of not getting one single paragraph into her head, she excuses herself. “I uh..I need to use the bathroom.” She doesn’t wait for an answer, stands up and disappears with her phone. Maybe it would already help if she can splash some water on her face. Maybe that’ll wake her up, making her think of something else than Dean and his ridiculously big and juicy cock. Oh my god. She shakes her head, breathes in and out, needs to hold on for another hour and then she’ll be free to go. 

While she stands all alone in the library bathroom, she splashes water on her face in an attempt to cool it down, and it doesn't do much for the blush in her cheeks as she can see in her own reflection in the mirror. 

Sneaking into a stall, she locks it behind her and leans her back against the wall. She can’t help but brush her fingers against her clit, touches herself through the damp fabric of her underwear and she can’t lie, it feels so good to finally be able to take off the edge a little. Hooking her fingers into her panties, she slides them down and steps out, pushes them into the pocket of her skirt. Whoever invented skirts with pockets deserve a Nobel. 

She then proceeds to rest one foot on the toilet seat and leans back a little more, giving herself more access to her throbbing clit. She starts to rub her folds, to massage her clit, smearing wetness around her pussy and all the while, she thinks of him. Her hands and fingers mimicking his motions from when they touched her last.

There’s a sudden flash of idea and she grins to herself mischievously. Y/N takes her phone out of the pocket of her skirt and snaps a picture of her touching herself, two of her fingers buried in her pussy. She then takes them out and places the slick fingers to her mouth, snapping another picture of her mouth sucking at them.

Y/N: Too late, I’m fucking myself.

She sends the text first and then the pictures.

Y/N: I’m so nice and wet, too.

She never really know how much fun teasing could be but here she is, teasing the fuck out of her professor. And she grins when she pictures him opening up her messages.

D: That’s it. I’m coming

Y/N: Wait, what? You touching yourself too?

D: No, I’m coming to the library.

She gasps silently.

Y/N: I’m not finished yet.

D: Spoiler alert. I’m already waiting outside in my car.

Y/N: You’re what?

D: Thought I could pick you up and honestly, grading papers is not going too well. I’ll do that later.

Y/N: God, what are you doing to me?

D: Look who’s talking.

Y/N: I’m going back to studying.

She pushes her phone back in her pocket before getting out of the cubicle and cleaning her hands of the excess slick, takes a last look to see that everything’s in order in the mirror before she slips out of the bathroom.

While she walks back to her group, she looks around the library but she can’t spot Dean anywhere, which means that he probably stays in his car and really waits for her. What a creep. A cute creep, though.

Back at studying with her group, her phone vibrates again and she takes it out of her pocket.

D: If you have time, come to the Paleontology section. Way in the back.

He wants her to do what? She bites down on her bottom lip, debating on what to do. She sighs out loud before answering him.

Y/N: I’ll see what I can do.

When everyone else is engrossed in their books, she stands up, excusing herself, “Sorry, I don’t feel too well. I need some fresh air and probably will go grab something to eat. I’ll be right back.” She leaves before the others can even object.

Y/N walks to the back of the too dim library and the further back she gets, the darker it gets too. The atmosphere is somehow like in those horror movies, like right before the dumb bimbo gets slaughtered by a psychopath.

Nonetheless she keeps on walking. Rounding up the last corner, she sees him then, sitting at a table on his own, his nose buried in a book.

“Why are you here?” She hisses in a low voice, as she walks closer to him. 

Dean looks up from the book, his gaze travels around, taking in his surroundings before he looks up at her and licks his lips, “Why, I’m just sitting here, reading about Paleontology. Did you know that Dinosaurs translates to ‘terrible reptile’? No? Me neither.”

She purses her lips into a smile, he’s so cute in a nerdy way when he throws facts at her. Dean pushes himself back and away from the table, the screeching of the chair loud enough to make them both flinch and there’s an echo going throughout the library.

“Shhhh!” She places a finger to her lips and Dean tries not to laugh too loud.

“Come here,” He whispers, reaching out for her and pulls her down onto him, letting her straddle one of his thighs.

“Your pants!” She hisses out and he frowns.

“My pants? What’s wrong with my pants?”

“I’m not wearing any panties.”

Dean places his hand on the back of her neck, pulls her closer and kisses her, “Do I look like I care?”

He brushes his fingers along her face, fingertips caressing her cheeks, tucking her hair behind her ears and she can feel the blood rushing to her face.

“You’re going to be the death of me, have I told you that before? If yes, I want you to hear it again,” He’s babbling in a low whispering voice, and she’s squirming in his lap, because she doesn’t want to hear anything in this moment, more than anything, she wants to feel him.

So, she goes in, crushes her lips to his to silence him, preventing him from saying more. Her tongue licks at his bottom lip and he parts for her so easily, giving her enough space to slide her tongue in along his, and her hands were everywhere, tugging and stroking along his body, gripping at his shoulders, ruffling up his hair.

He holds her in place with one hand firmly placed at the back of her neck while the other one disappears underneath her skirt, fingers skimming up her thighs and up around to caress her ass.

“I don’t have much time,” Y/N breathes into the kiss and Dean ignores it, pulls her closer, teeth nibbling at her bottom lip. 

After a while he breaks the kiss, needing air and rests his forehead on hers before he grins, “We should make it count.”

P.08

[innaminitus]

Mistletoe

Pairing: Tommy Shelby x reader

Request: Thomas Shelby smut where they’re friends, have to kiss under the mistletoe, and leads to admitting feelings and smut smut smut please!! (from @thomasfoockinshelby​)

Warnings: smut, smoking (it’s bad for your lungs, ok?) 

Word count: 1416

A/N: fun fact, everytime someone comments “i need a cold shower” under a smut fic, another smut fic is writing itself. that’s something no author wants you to know

You inhaled deeply, letting the smoke fill you whole. Christmas party was loud and crowded, something that just wasn’t your cup of tea – you much more preferred calm meetings, with a handful of friends, not these big parties Tommy loved.

It was your fourth cigarette within an hour and you were worried that this excuse will soon cause you to feel sick, but it was the only thing allowing you to spend some time alone, in quiet and peace.

You wanted to stay home, but Tommy wanted you to be there for him. And you would do everything for him.

“Hiding again?” You heard soft voice and quickly turned from the view of what seemed like endless road. Tommy was leaning on the doorframe, picking a cigarette from the case. You just shrugged. There was no point in answering. “May I join you?”

“Always.” You tucked your fur coat tighter, to let him sit on the bench next to you.

He lit the cigarette and for one selfish second you let yourself watch him inhale, his chest rise and his cheeks hollow a bit. Just for one second, then you turned your gaze back to the dark road leading nowhere.

“You can just go to sleep, you know. Tell you’re feeling bad, or just disappear,” he said suddenly, piercing you with his sight. You dared to look at him. “It’s okay, I know you don’t like such parties.”

You shrugged again.

“You wanted me to be here, I would feel bad if I’d leave you now.”

“And I would feel bad to make you stick around, knowing very well how uneasy you are in a crowd.” He was looking at you in the manner that always made you feel like a child; with his chin pointed down and his eyebrows slightly raised, as if he was giving you a parental advice.

You played with the stump for a moment, stroking it with your thumb, considering what he just said. You would feel better if you just went to sleep, no doubt in that.

“Fine. But only because you said it so nicely.” With one last, deep inhale you finished the cigarette and stubbed it on the crystal ashtray. “I’ll just go to sleep.”

He got up first and offered you his hand. You took it with pleasure and got up as well, letting him drag you inside.

The smell of pine, gin and sweaty bodies hit your nostrils and made you feel dizzy. You stopped and sneezed suddenly, rubbing your nose. You heard Tommy’s laugh and sneezed again.

“Well, well, well! You have to kiss now!”

At first you didn’t realize the words were aimed at you, but when you raised your head you noticed everyone around staring at you.

Some odd faith made you stop directly under the mistletoe, hanging by the chandelier. You stared at it for a moment, then looked at Tommy, who was under it as well.

“Kiss, kiss! You don’t want bad luck, do you?” Ada was crossing her arms, looking at you with mischievous smile.

No, you didn’t want any more bad luck than you already had in your life, thank you very much. And even if you wanted to kiss Tommy it seemed somehow inappropriate. You were friends, and you made your peace with the fact that you would never be anything more than that. Kissing him would probably wake old feelings, and you weren’t sure if you wanted that.

“No, there is no need to–“ You tried to say, but his hand was already on your cheek, pulling you to his warm lips, tasting with alcohol and tobacco.

Well, it was more difficult for you than for him, apparently.

His lips parted slightly, and you were so close in sinking into that kiss, into giving him your whole self, into forgetting everything you promised yourself… But you pulled away, blushing.

“No bad luck for us, I guess,” you tried to joke miserably without looking at neither Tommy nor Ada, tripping over a bent carpet on your way to the stairs. You needed to bury yourself in sheets, right now. Or not the sheets, the ground would be better. You didn’t even need the coffin, just burying yourself alive seemed like a great idea.

To your horror Tommy followed you upstairs, right to the room you were sleeping in.

“Why did you act so–“

“Why did you kiss me?!” You stopped in the middle of the room and turned to him.

He blinked twice, raised one eyebrow and gesticulated with one hand. His wrist watch shone in the warm light.

“We were under the mistletoe,” he stated obvious. “That’s what you do when you’re under the mistletoe.”

“You can’t just…” You rubbed your forehead. “You can’t just walk around and kiss people, Tommy.”

“Why are you mad at me?”

You sighed and avoided his gaze. You were mad, because you wanted more than just that kiss, and that was something you thought was long gone.

“Because… Because you can’t just–“

“Walk around and kiss people, yes, you’ve said that already.” He walked closer, but you still didn’t look at him. “Ay,” he held your chin and forced you to look at him “listen, if I’ve offended you somehow, I’m sorry. But I won’t be sorry for kissing you.”

You just stared at him, not understanding a word.

What you’ve learned from working with the Shelby family was that actions spoke better than words, though.

You stood on your tiptoes and pressed your lips onto his, shamelessly, selfishly. No time to think, no time to stop. All that mattered was his tongue sliding into your mouth, taking control over the situation, over your body, mind and your whole being.

He pushed you, forcing you to take a few steps back until you were locked between him and the wall. He pulled away, but just for a second, only to look into your blurred eyes and then smashed his lips onto yours once more. Heat has overtaken your body and soul, you wanted him, wanted him to rip your clothes off and just take you by this wall.

You let him roll your skirt, caress the skin of your thighs. Your sigh sounded in the room, silenced by his lips.

He wasn’t the one to hesitate. Your lacy panties were soon on the floor and his fingers dipped in your heat, pumping the moans out of your throat and causing your fingers to clench on his shoulders.

That wasn’t something you could just let him get away with. Your hands slid down his chest, right to the hard bulge in his expensive trousers, to the buttons. You freed his dripping member, half of you wanting to push it down your throat, the other half needing it to fill your pussy.

The other half won for both of you.

Tommy’s fingers left your core, his bog hands grabbed your thighs and forced you to jump. For a second or two you just breathed, hanging in the moment, in his icy blue eyes piercing you through with arousal and then, when the second has passed, he slid you down his length and every thought left your mind.

A moan echoed in your head.

He moved, thrusting once, then again and again until you were turned into a mess, consisting only of wild pleasure and Tommy’s name.

His cock was filling you deep and whole, his tongue danced with yours to the rhythm of your bodies, to the music of flesh smashing onto flesh, to the thoughts of how your friendship was definitely ruined.

You were firmly pressed onto the wall, his strong arms holding you in place, not allowing you to make one move. He fucked you like that, having whole control of what was happening, and you loved it, it was something you never suspected you’d need in your life. To have control taken away from you.

Your muscles clenched onto his member, he groaned in your lips, quickening the pace. With every move he was hitting just the right spot, rubbing just the right place, forcing a mind-shattering orgasm onto you, turning your moans to screams, then filling you with his load as he reached the top himself.

It took you a moment to realize what’s real and what’s not, and to your delight the fact that Tommy Shelby was lazily placing you back on the carpet and his cum was flowing down your tights, was marvellously real.

___

tag list:

💞: @taylorswiftloverforever13 @thomasfoockinshelby​ @kaylig02 @daddyloki @it-jinxed-us @themusingsofmany @randomlea @annakohanasworld @theunofficialduke @prismroot-starlight0 @deathofmissjackson @tricksterwinchester @villanellevi @sweetkingdomstarlight-blog @forgoshsake-watchyourlanguage @grace-barnes-13 @starofthedawn

[goldrushzukka]

1, 2, 7, 8, 9. (Sorry, i know that's like...all of them)

1. what themes would you like to write about that you feel don’t get explored very often?

i love writing coming out storylines. it’s not really that they’re uncommon, i just find a lot of catharsis in them. 

2. what are some common elements of stories you are tired of seeing? what would you avoid writing about?

i tend to avoid writing sibling dynamics bc i’m an only child and therefore not really. qualified. i love reading it though!! 

7. favourite description in your WIP?

it was really hard to pick one so i have a few answers for this bc i love to talk about myself so. (under the cut bc JESUS this got long but spoilers for and i’ll do anything you say (read it here!) ahead!!!)

- from chapter 2:

Sokka looks at him, a fantasy come to life, and takes off his stupid sweatpants.

He throws them at Zuko’s head, and earns himself a short burst of that real laugh, shocked and unguarded.

“You asshole,” Zuko says. He sits up and grabs Sokka’s hand, pulling him down on top of him. Something comes alive under Sokka’s skin where Zuko’s fingers graze his wrist. He calls it lust and ignores the fact that it feels nothing like it.

Zuko kisses him, his mouth still in the shape of laughter, and the alive thing screams for his attention. Sokka buries it and hopes it won’t deafen him before they’re done.

im very fond of this whole chapter (i think it’s probably my favourite? it was definitely the easiest to write) but i really love looking back on this part particularly now that we’re in the angsty part of the story bc this is where it all started. yes technically it started in chapter 1 but this is when sokka starts to fall for zuko. this is the beginning of all those pesky non-casual feelings that he’s going to pretend don’t exist until someone else calls him out on them.

- also from chapter 2:

He’s forty-five minutes late already, and when he knocks, a woman made of pursed lips and sharp angles answers the door. She looks elegant and expensive the same way a skyscraper does. Or a cache of medieval weaponry.

“Oh,” Sokka says, digging into his pocket to find the map on his phone. “I must have the wrong place, sorry -”

She looks him up and down, her eyes narrowed in a way that feels violent and practiced, and her smirk turns distasteful. Sokka risks a glance down at himself, at his torn up jeans - not distressed, just torn - and the Madonna t-shirt he’s pretty sure actually belongs to Katara, and thinks she might have a point. The bag in his hand feels heavier when her eyes land on it.

“Zuzu,” the woman calls into the apartment, “your dinner’s here.”

“I didn’t order -” Zuko appears in the doorway, bitter frustration in his expression as he looks at the woman.

His eyes fall on Sokka, though, and his face clears into a light-pollution smile.

this is technically two so i will start with: i love azula. i haven’t found any room to bring her back yet but believe me i am LOOKING. she’s hot and mean and gay and i LOVE HER. oh also insider scoop but suki’s date from earlier in this chapter.......WAS azula. they probably won’t see each other again because once azula met sokka and connected his face to the Best Friends Forever picture frame on suki’s desk she stopped answering the phone.

pt 2: i’ve had a couple of comments mention the “light-pollution smile” line specifically and i am always so happy to read them bc yeah. YEAH. i’ll admit it. that line HITS. 

- from chapter 4:

He sets his phone down - only, he doesn’t. He misses the table by a mile, and in his scramble to catch his phone before it breaks on the hardwood floor and wakes Momo on the cushion beside him, his hand finds the lip of his cereal bowl, and then that’s falling, too. He manages to catch the phone, but something in his head gets lost in translation on its way down his arms, and he ends up with a boxers-only lap full of soggy Cheerios.

Momo gets a splash of milk on his back and hisses at Zuko for his crimes, and somehow that’s the worst part of it.

haley @fruitysokka said that this passage reads like an action movie and i think about it all the time. (thank u haley i love u)

- lastly this extended metaphor from chapter 6:

The soup is good, once the heat of it clears him up enough to taste it. It’s thick and warm and there’s enough pepper that Sokka gets a kick from it even in his condition. He feels it all the way down his throat and into his stomach, where it mixes with the prickly nervousness he’s feeling from Zuko’s attention.

He sets the bowl down on the table and asks, eyes stuck on his hands in Momo’s fur where he’s climbed into his lap, “How was the date?”

“It was good, actually,” Zuko says. “Jet seems like a nice guy. He’s very - uh - passionate, I guess you could call it? He’s a climate and human rights activist.”

The spines of Sokka’s nervousness turn to daggers.

...

“I said yes. We’re getting lunch on Sunday.”

The daggers are swords now, and Sokka’s heart sinks down, down, down, right to the hilt.

...

“I’ll text you when I’m home,” Zuko promises, and Sokka’s heart skewers itself on a second sword.

Zuko’s smile when Sokka says, “Thank you for the soup,” is a third.

The door closing behind him is a fourth.

The silence as Sokka shuffles back to bed is every single one that remains.

something something canon swordsmen something pride comes before the fall something chivalry fell on his sword from eden by hozier. you guys get it i dont have to explain myself

8. favourite dialogue in your WIP?

ok so i cant share my actual favourite dialogue bc it's a spoiler for chapter 8 and i technically haven't written it yet (it's in my brain just.....plaguing me) but it's GOOD i SWEAR so. once again i have more than one answer bc actually? i love this fic and im proud of it. deal with it.

- from chapter 1:

“Hey, stranger,” Sokka says, still watching him in the mirror. The corner of Zuko’s mouth ticks up.

“You’re not following me, are you?” Zuko’s tone is seductive, endlessly so, and Sokka wonders while he dries his hands if he has to put it on or if he just sounds like that.

“You give a guy one compliment and he thinks you’re stalking him,” Sokka mutters, and Zuko laughs, low and enticing. Not the genuine, endearing laugh of this morning, but one with an agenda.

Well. Sokka always likes a plan.

“Are you following me? ” Sokka asks. He spies a miraculous dry patch on the sink bank and tries to be casual about the way he hops up to sit on it.

“I might be,” Zuko says, and at Sokka’s raised eyebrow, he continues, “I saw you at the bar and I wanted to talk to you. Sue me.”

“You wanted to talk.”

“Amongst other things.”

as a chronically awkward person i am INSANELY proud of the flirting in this fic. no idea if it would work in a real life situation. excited to never find out bc im not about to use lines from my fanfiction on real women. 

- from chapter 2

“You must be Suki,” Zuko says. He meets her gaze, and his fingers go still under Momo’s chin.

“And you’re Zuko,” Suki replies, her smile all different shades of intimidating. “I’d shake your hand, but I know where it’s just been.”

i wrote this entire scene just so i could have suki say this. im not even joking. suki is my favourite part of this entire fic and its not even ABOUT her.

- from chapter 3:

When Sokka crosses the room and slips under the covers beside him, Zuko says, “I can leave, if you want. I can go home.”

...

He asks, still barely hovering over Zuko, “What if I don’t want that?”

Zuko swallows. “I can stay.”

“So stay,” Sokka says, and lays his head down on Zuko’s chest.

i just think it’s sweet. i like it a lot. makes my heart hurt a little when i think about it. 

- from chapter 4:

[Suki // 15:13] there is a LOT of chmpagrjn

[Suki // 15:13] cahpmhagne

[Suki // 15:13] chsanpghn

[Suki // 15:14] alcohol :)

once again: suki is the best part of this whole fic. i love her so much. she is the reason the word bestie exists. im really proud of the texting in this fic bc it’s my first time actually including it in fic and it’s turned out really well!!

- ok last one bc i just realised this is turning into a novel. from chapter 4:

“How’s my baby?”

Zuko glances down at Momo, batting at the untied laces of his shoes with one determined paw. “He’s doing just fine.”

“And how’s Momo?”

“He’s - what?”

are there better written, more narratively important and emotive lines in this fic? yes. is this the best part of the entire thing? also yes. i invented the jin/yue wedding because i needed a reason for zuko to have a key in what became chapter 6, but sometimes i think the entire fic exists just for this exchange. best dialogue i have ever written.

9. what scene was the hardest for you to write and why?

the start of chapter 6 of aidays was difficult. i kept wanting to skip ahead to the meaty parts - i.e, zuko and his soup - but i didn’t want to do sokka a disservice like that. it was also really hard to maintain the balance of accurately describing the delirium of illness while still being coherent for the reader? so that took me a couple of days to get right.

[penpatronuswhump]

WHUMPTOBER 2020

No.16

Fandom: Avengers

Whumpee: Tony Stark

Caregiver: Steve Rogers

Title: Fight Back, Tony

By: PenPatronus // PenPatronusAooO

Like a furnace.

 Tony felt like he was burning alive in a furnace. He woke up clawing for the ceiling and walls, and scooting backwards fast as he could, convinced that he’d been put in feet first and the only way out was behind him. His hands collided with something solid and he pushed off it. His head butted against something behind him and the impact hurt so much that his entire body briefly froze before seizing. The heat increased. “I’m burning – I’m burning!” he gasped. Tony felt sweat pool on his eyelids. He realized, then, that his eyes were closed, and he opened them, expecting to see furious flames surrounding him. Sweat splashed down into his eyes and he had to blink to see through them, through the burning, through the haze, through the confusion.

 “Hey. Whoa, hey,” a voice whispered. “Tony. Tony, look at me.”

 Tony’s eyes darted everywhere. He saw prison bars and blank concrete walls. He saw the moon outside a small window. He saw empty cups and plates and used forks and spoons. Then, a face blocked everything out, forcing him to see it and it only. He looked into the person’s eyes and recognized them. They were safe eyes.

 “Steve,” Tony grunted softly. “Steve, I’m burning.”

 “Shhh, Tony, you have a fever. It’s just a fever.” Steve pressed a dirty piece of cloth to Tony’s forehead, to his cheek, to his chin. “You got hurt, remember? The wound’s infected.” Tony tried to sit up, but Steve pushed him back down. His head was lying on the inside of Steve’s knee. Embarrassed, Tony tried to roll away, but Steve righted him again. “Easy.”

 Tony relaxed. “My head. My… My stomach.”

 “I know.” Steve stopped Tony from touching his wounds. “Tony. Tony, I need you to listen to me for a minute.”

 Tony squirmed. “God, my head…”

 “Tony. Tony, please.” Steve patted his cheek. Tony looked at him. “We’re in trouble here,” he said. “Big trouble.”

 “I don’t – I don’t even remember…”

 “And I need you to swear to me that you’re going to fight. Fight the pain, fight the fever, fight the delirium. Fight back.”

 “How did we even – where are we?”

 “Doesn’t matter. You just focus on staying alive, all right? Leave me to handle everything else. It’ll be ok.”

 “Ok. I trust you, Cap.”

 “That’s my man.”

 “Should I… I should probably stay awake…”

 “You probably should,” Steve agreed. “Tony?”

 Tony was already unconscious.

 ---------

 Like boiling water.

 Tony felt like he was burning alive in boiling water – under the water. He woke up stretching and circling his arms like he was swimming. He had to get to the side of the pot before his skin burnt off. He kicked his legs, arched his head up so that he’d get air as soon as possible when he breached the surface. He must have found the side, because something solid connected with his body and his stomach suddenly erupted in pain. Tony screamed, but heard barely anything more than breath. Hands grabbed his wrist and he fought back, convinced that they were pushing him deeper into the water. But, he had no strength. The hands were strong, and he was drowning and burning at the same time…

 “TONY!” a voice cried. Tony’s eyes flew open. Natasha. Nat was there. Why was she there? Why was she… Was she crying?

 “What’s wrong?” Tony rasped.

 “Oh my god, you’re awake,” Natasha gasped. She placed his hands on his chest and intertwined their fingers. “Hey, Stark.”

 “Nat, what’s wrong?”

 She snorted and shook her head. “I’m, um, just having a rough day, Tony.”

 Stark looked around. He was still in the prison cell. “Where’s Steve?”

 Nat’s facial expression briefly flickered. “He’ll be back soon. He’s fine.”

 “You were the best liar I knew until now,” Tony whispered.

 Nat looked down at their hands, and when she looked up the tears were thicker. “They took him. It’s been a day. I – I don’t know what they’re doing to him.”

 “Is he awake?” came a voice further away. “Holy shit—” Clint appeared. His face was dusty and dirty, and blood had dried beside his eye. “Stark, man, thought you’d never wake up.”

 “Hey, Barton. You look like shit.”

 “Look in a mirror, brother.” Clint’s nose crinkled. “Then again, maybe not.”

 “That bad?”

 “You look like Gollum if he was drowned and left to die in a pile of dog shit.”

 Tony chuckled, and the pain multiplied in his head and stomach. “Oh, wow, oh…”

 “Don’t make him laugh,” Nat snarled at Clint. “Do we have any water left?”

 “Yeah. Steve put his aside for Tony.” Clint disappeared from Tony’s vision, and then reappeared with a tin cup. Natasha took it and held it to Tony’s lips, depositing just a few drops. Tony suddenly realized he was dying of thirst. He reached his hand up, tipped the cup and took several gulps. “No, wait—!” Natasha ripped the cup out of his hands, but it was already too late. Tony suddenly rolled to his left and vomited liquid and bile up.

 “Oh, God,” Tony coughed.

 Something metallic rattled nearby. The three Avengers looked up to see a guard unlocking the cell door. Clint tried to get there in time, but he missed catching Steve, who was tossed inside. “I’m ok, I’m all right,” Steve insisted in a broken voice, waving Barton aside. He got to his feet and limped over to Tony. Like Clint, his face was dirty and there was caked blood all over it. He knelt beside Tony and offered a smile. “Told them you’d wake up.”

 Tony’s eyelids felt heavy. “Not for long, I think,” he admitted.

 Steve nodded. “It’s ok.”

 “Is it…?” Tony coughed. “I’m fighting, Steve, I promise.”

 Steve took Tony’s hand. “I know. Keep it up. I’m proud of you.”

 On Tony’s right, outside of his imagination, beyond his hallucinations, the real Steve Rogers watched, distraught, as Tony carried on conversations with his teammates who weren’t there. He didn’t know what to do – interrupt the delusion? Would that distress Tony too much? Make him doubt anything was real? Steve sighed. He leaned his cheek against the cell wall. If the hallucinations brought Tony any sort of comfort, maybe the responsible thing was to leave him inside them.

 Steve put his face in his hands.

 ---------

 Like he was buried in snow.

 Tony felt like he was six feet under, and that six feet was full of snow. He was shivering so fast, so fast. He woke up in Steve’s lap again and could barely get a word out between the clicking of his teeth. His head felt a swollen, throbbing entity separate from his body. His stomach rumbled with emptiness, yet felt heavy and bloated and so very, very painful. Like there was a bear trap around his abdomen.

 Steve was speaking to him. His frown was deep. Tony couldn’t hear, but he recognized the shape of his name on Steve’s lips. “Tony, hang on,” Steve seemed to be saying. “Hang on, hang on.”

 Tony’s entire body shuddered. It felt like the fluid in his very eyes was frozen. The sweat that covered every inch of his skin felt like little icicles. “I’m trying,” he tried to say. “Steve, I’m trying.”

 Tony summoned all the “him” that he had in himself, and told his body to persevere. He gave it no option. Hang on, hang on, hang on.

 ----------

 Steve stared at the small rise and fall of Tony’s chest. It was mesmerizing, like watching ocean waves. His heartbeat was a little hypnotizing, too. Steve had barely stopped feeling at least one of Tony’s pulse points at a time. It seemed too slow, but it was steady as a clock. Until…

 His heart skipped a beat. Steve shot up into a sitting position from lying on the floor beside his friend. He rearranged his middle and forefinger to make sure he was getting an accurate reading. The pulse continued for another minute, and then it suddenly did a double skip. “Behave,” Steve growled at Tony’s heart. Stark’s face was so, so very pale. He needed a long shower to wash the dried blood out of his hair. And the makeshift dressing Cap had made from his own uniform had turned dark maroon around the wound in Tony’s stomach. The fever kept rising. His breaths seemed to be more and more difficult to breathe.

 Flashing lights from outside the cell—

 Steve looked up. The lightbulb above flickered. A second later, he heard thunder.

 Cap grinned down at the wheezing Tony. “Almost home,” he promised him. “They’re coming for us.”

 ----------

 The thermometer beeped. Steve took it out of Tony’s mouth and announced, “99.8. Almost there.”

 Tony rolled his eyes. “You’re not going to let me out of this bed until I’m 98.6, are you?”

 “Maybe not even then,” Steve threatened. He put the thermometer on Tony’s bedside table and sighed. “Maybe I’d let you out if I wasn’t so sure you’d spend a solid 24 hours in the lab.”

 Tony sat up higher in his bed and rearranged his sheets. “How about we compromise. I’ll only spent 20 hours.”

 Steve rolled his eyes. He put his fingers against his temples. “98.6, Tony. For me?”

 The request caught Stark off guard. He slinked backward into his pillows. “Fine. For you. Because you kept me alive in that hellhole.”

 “Oh, no.” Steve took some gauze off the bedside table and gestured for Tony to turn onto his side so that he could replace the bandages. “I didn’t do a damn thing. You did that all on your own.”

 “Oh, you did more than you know,” Tony guaranteed. “You even sang that lullaby to me.”

 “Tony, I didn’t sing you a lullaby. You were hallucinating half the time.”

 “I did wonder why it was in tune. You have an awful voice.”

 “Super soldier serum can only enhance so much,” Steve chuckled.

 “So, was I hallucinating when that goose was tapdancing?”

 “You made that up just now.” Steve finished up with the bandages and sat down on the side of Tony’s bed.

 A beat passed. “Did I hallucinate you lecturing me and holding my hand half the time.”

 Steve blushed. “I may have done that.”

 “See? You did help keep me alive.”  

 The End

[abused-virgil-oneshots]

Patton’s Perfect Family-Chapter 19- In the Hospital

Masterpost

TW: Hospitals, cursing, threats, threats of starvation

written with @wittlevirgilsanders on Tumblr.

There was this incessant beeping happening. If it would just shut up Logan could sleep better. It was also really bright, but the beeping was more bothering. Did Patton set an alarm? He did usually, but it never woke him up. Why is it so fucking bright in here?

"Lo? Logan, baby, can you open your eyes for me?" Why did Patton care if he opened his eyes right now? He was here, with him. He was alive, why couldn't Patton just let him sleep? He was so tired, and everything hurt. "Logie, I'm so sorry. I promise, I won't let you get hurt again." Logan finally opened his eyes. He might as well not make Patton mad.

Holy fuck it was bright. Why is it so bright? "Logie! You're awake!" A dark mass crashed into Logan's side. He let out a groan of pain.

"Sir, if you could please just-"

"Don't say anything about home, Logie. Or everyone back home is going to be stuck down there and they don't have enough food to last. As far as everyone else needs to know, unless I say otherwise, we are happily married. M'kay Logie?"

"Dr. Heart! Please, get off your husband or I will have you removed from the room until Dr. Heart is cleared to leave!"

"Ok, ok! I'm just so happy he's awake."

"I understand, but I need to check everything for your husband, please leave the room for a moment."

"Could I please just stay with him? Please? I just need to be able to see he's ok."

The nurse reluctantly agreed. Patton was family, technically. No matter how annoying he was while he was trying to check Logan out.

Logan was quiet the whole time, not wanting to say the wrong thing and get Patton caught. Who knows if he would actually keep what he said, but Logan didn't want to take chances.

He wouldn't be the cause of their deaths.

"Well, you are doing well for someone who was just shot. In fact, I'd actually like to talk to you about that. Er- well, the police would." The nurse had finished all his tests.

"That won't be necessary. I doubt they would be able to do much of anything. I do think it was an accident."

"Being that as it may Dr. Heart, you still have to have something on record of this. We still need a report."

"Could we at least wait until Logie is feeling better to do this? He doesn't need to be stressed over this. I'm sure he barely remembers anything. I mean, it all happened so quick. I didn't even realize what had happened until he was on the ground. Who knows how much he could." When had Patton become such a good liar? Probably when he decided kidnapping would be a good thing to do.

Maybe he always had been.

"Patton's right. I really don't remember much," He wasn't lying, exactly. He couldn't remember much. If he had to do this he might as well be as close to the truth as possible.

"Alright. I suppose we could try and see if you know more on the day of discharge." The nurse took his clipboard and left.

Patton turned to face Logan. He climbed into the bed beside him, a tight fit to say the least, and started to comb his hands through Logan's hair. "Such a good boy, Logie. So good. You really had me worried. I'm so sorry for getting you hurt. I promise I'll make it up to you when we get home. I have to leave tonight to make sure everyone is ok. Promise me you'll be good?"

"Yes, Patton. I promise," Logan curled up as much as he could away from Patton before being pulled back around and into Patton's chest.

"That's good bunny. Do you forgive me? 'M so sorry," Patton wrapped his hands around Logan and buried his face in Logan's hair.

"Yes Patton. I forgive you. When can we go home?" It would be harder to slip up there. Yes, that was it. Not because Logan was scared of everyone he met hurting him like the last couple he had met.

Patton smiled brightly through Logan's hair. He had called it home.

"Soon? Maybe, I'm not sure bunny, they have to check some things first. Probably a few days."

A few days. Logan should be able to last that long. He just didn't have to slip up. How hard could that be?

He could see the stars through the window. It was just barely, they were more like little dots. The blinds were hard to see through to begin with, but Patton had taken away his glasses because it was late and he thought that if he did that Logan would sleep, but he couldn't.

He wouldn't.

Not when he was so close to the stars. They could be the worst quality picture and Logan wouldn't be able to tear his eyes away from them. Which they practically were, without his glasses at least.

He'd been here two days. Patton had barely left his side, only going a few times to go to the restroom and to check on the others. Patton was currently in an arm chair, waiting for him to drift off before he went anywhere, which wouldn't be long now. He was exhausted.

The stars started to drift out to even blurrier as it got harder to keep his eyes open.

Patton's jaw clenched as he stared at the TV. "Two of our supposed missing people have once again turned up, at a hospital in Marsh. When questioned about their disappearances, both admitted to having eloped, but that leaves many unanswered questions about a few other missing person's cases, that all seem to tie back to one Patton-"

Patton turns off the TV, turning back to look at Logan, fast asleep in his hospital bed."Wake up bunny." He chirps, his voice sweet and light, "It's time to go!"

Logan stirred slightly, staring up at Patton with a yawn as he blindly reached for his glasses and put them on. "I thought I wasn't getting released until tomorrow?"

"The doctors said you were good to go today!" Patton chirps. The lie was so obvious it was impossible for Logan not to notice, but he didn't want to argue and risk someone getting hurt. Standing, he barely has time to grab his coat before Patton pulls him towards the door, hurriedly dragging him to the elevator and pushing the one button.

The elevator closed as Logan watched a nurse turn into his room. Maybe she would cause a panic quick enough to stop Patton?

They hit the bottom floor too quickly for Logan's taste. Patton dragged him off the second the door opened. They reached the pastel blue car that Logan remembered so clearly from what was supposed to be their trip. That felt like a lifetime ago.

Logan slipped in and his door slammed closed as soon as he was clear. Patton got in the drivers side and turned around to go through the back before coming out with a piece of fabric.

"Turn around." Patton gestured for him to face away from him.

"What?"

"Turn around, I need to put this on you. Just for safety, I promise as soon as we get home I'll take it off." Logan reluctantly turned so Patton could tie it on. Couldn't he just see the stars a little longer before he had to go back to the hellhole.

The car started and soon they were leaving, on their way back.

///1267 words.

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[bangtansfavwriter]

🌷hobi having a crush on you 🌷

-hobi and you were inseparable, and when I say inseparable I mean it

-he introduced you to all of his friends and everyone knew you guys became a package deal

- he loooves spending time with you , which would already be a dead giveaway bc hobi's a really social guy, so him choosing to spend his time with you so often would already say a lot

-very playful and spontaneous, looots of laughter together

-you guys' favourite thing to do together would be karaoke and the two of you would put some singers to shame bc singing - check - dancing - audience wildin' and partying to you two - check bc the whole neighbourhood knew you by now and people would leave their own booth at the bar to come and watch you two (which would turn to spontaneous parties that would be absolutely legendary (and the place would be so packed that even dispatch would be like fuck no we ain't goin in))

-you'd come to watch bts' dance practices sometimes and just sit there and watch this completely different side of hobi come out

- he dances with such a passion that you can't do anything but watch him in awe, completely enthralled by the way he moves

-this was also something that made you fall for him slowly, you loved the fact that he was absolutely passionate about everything he does and puts his energy in

-and you admired him so much, bc he was still humble about his talent & also this innate ability to light up every room he walks in

- you almost felt like icarus trying to bask in the sun and sometimes felt like your feelings for him may get you too close and you would get hurt

-and whenever you would get into that mood, it would be hobi himself to snap you out of it, unknowingly

"hobi, there's no reason for me to come to the christmas party, you guys are like family, why would i be there?"

"nonsense, you're family, too. i want you to be there." ---and that's it, that's how he handled your moods, he always made you feel cherished and most importantly loved--

- he would play with your hair a lot and would be very touchy in general, the supreme method to shut down hobi.exe would be playing with his hair, he'd legit lay down and and go quiet, but chances are he's gonna fall asleep (and boy would he get cranky when you wake him up)

- he'd love to make you laugh and sing lil songs and do lil dances for you when you would make tea or something ("look it's y/n, making tea for mee, hobiii~, this sure looks like chamomile, chamomile is just my style, my legs are so sore, I'm gonna go lay on the floor..."*his voice fades* - "u ok there hobi?" - *weak* "no..") [btw chamomile tea helps with sore muscles ☺️]

- his spontaneous dances would be the best, he'd drop it to maluma and lowkey get emotional when you'd turn on some flamenco songs ("y/n, i should be a flamenco dancer, this music speaks to my soul" - "whatever you say, horacio" )

- he would sometimes give you very obvious signals:

"oh we're both wearing jean jackets, almost like a couple look hmmm~~~"

"you cooked for me ?? caring for me, like we're a couple hmmm~~~"

"look at us sharing our drinks like we're a couple hmmm~~~"

-and tbh, you guys would be the couple that has no idea that they're a couple bc you never truly established something along that lines

-but you truly liked him, after all, he's mr sunshine, with the most generous heart and boy's got the prettiest side profile you've ever seen (you knew you were whipped when you went for drinks with a friend and ended up being an emotional drunk who gushed about hobi's lil nose)

-hobi always gets shy when u praise him and you're like "BOI I CAN DO THIS ALL DAY LONG" and he'd go "noooo stop" and backflip to the other side of the room bc he got shy again but he secretly loves it (honestly, it would lift his entire mood, to a hyper extent.... one day you didn't have the time to stay for their dance practices and met hobi shortly before they started, to say bye and such, and you encouraged him to be strong, bc you knew how tough the new choreography was, and told him "you, horacio, dancing king of my heart, can do this, now go prove your title or I won't make you any pancakes for a week" and he SCREAMED in joy & spun you around like 3 times and sprinted to the practice room, you got one (1) single text from jin at 02.17 am, which you opened, confused at hell, it just said: "idk what you said to hobi before practice but you owe me a spa weekend for the muscle pain i have rn")

-but hobi is only human too, he also gets into low moods, which you help him through by simply not going anywhere even when he detaches himself from you and everyone else for that matter

-you knew he had to recharge and gave him some space without entirely distancing yourself from him ofc, you guys would still text tho from time to time

-you knew that he had practice again and one day you stopped by with some food you prepared for him and gave it to a staff member to pass it to hobi, bc you didn't want to intrude, and hobi would text you back a pic of the empty lunch boxes you packed for him with a caption like this: "👼🏻👼🏻👼🏻👼🏻💗💖💝💓💞💕🙇🏻‍♂️🙇🏻‍♂️🙇🏻‍♂️" (hobi talk for "you are and angeeeel, i loooove you & thank youuu") and you were happy with yourself and happy for hobi bc you knew this would cheer him up

-he came over to yours like 2 days later and your heart ached a little bc he was obviously exhausted but still shot you a smile when you opened the door

- you pulled him inside and hugged him, neither of you spoke a word, hobi just sighed and buried his face in your neck

- he came inside and you made tea for the two of you and prepared some snacks too and you caught him looking at you a few times, but his gaze was different... you couldn't quite pinpoint what it was and just thought that's it's probably just random and that he's tired, since he also didn't speak a lot that evening.. anyway you chilled in front of the tv and had a night in, which he gladly accepted because his legs were so sore he wasn't even sure if he could leave your place in first place

-so you spread out on one sofa, while hobi layed down on to the other one

-whenever you weren't looking, hobi stared at you with the most smitten look on his face, especially when you'd giggle about some scene in the movie you were watching, and unable to contain his feelings for himself, he'd flat out tell you:

"you know, if there wouldn't be a risk of me face-planting onto the floor, I'd be on that couch and kiss you"

- he couldn't quite tell if his words made your face go red or if it was bc of your near-death experience after choking on your nachos when korea's dancing king told u he wants to smooch

(-"you ok now ?"

"yeah, alive and kicking"

"good bc- don't eat that now- I have plans for us 👀"

"maybe I do too 👀👀"

" 👀👀👀")

however, you decided you should talk this out when both of you were less tired

- but you didn't... bc hobi was busy again

- days had passed and hobi didn't say a word which was really disheartening for you bc after that kiss-statement you really thought you would finally clarify what was going on between you two and talk about dating and stuff, so you mustered all your courage and texted him: "hey, i know ur busy and all, which is why im gonna keep it as short as possible.... hoseok, i wanna talk about what you said to me the other day and i know this could potentially change our friendship forever, but i liked you for a while now and I wanna now if you were just joking around back then or if u actually were serious"

-the next hours would be absolutely agonizing for you bc deep down you truly feared that this may ruin your friendship with him, but you needed clarity, even though it was really clear that he liked you, but you weren't sure how and asked yourself if you may have read too much into his actions and words.... you threw your phone on your bed and tried keeping yourself busy with something that would keep you from looking at your phone. you failed miserably tbh and you were contemplating deleting the text the entire time... "this is so stupid, I can't risk this..." you thought and were about to open the messenger to delete your text, when you saw that he texted back....: "you never call me hoseok" (you had to took deep breaths to calm yourself down or you would probably have stormed into bighit and throw your phone at him)

- you: "this is really all you have to say ???? "

and he texted back shortly after and you were like oohhh, im gonna grill jung hoseok now

him: "well you never call me hoseok, so I guess this is very serious to you"

you: "yeah NO SHIT sherlock, i confessed my feelings for you and this is how you answer me ?????

him: "im serious too, don't be like that!"

you: "well how tf should i know if you're serious or not??"

him: "you could open your door and find out"

-to use the word "dumbfounded" for how you felt the second you read that would be the understatement of the century, you threw your phone away and bolted to the door

-and there he was.. standing there and smiling at you as radiantly as ever

- he held a plush in one hand and playfully waved at you with the other the other, in which he was holding his phone. he gave you the plush and laughed at you bc you still were completely baffled, but you started laughing too

- you: mang beats any flower anyways.. (you took the mang plush and put it on a rack by the door)

him: yup! and why buy flowers when you have me? *does the flower pose*

- you: you're unbelievable, jung hoseok

him: ohh full name now, it's getting very serious ~

you: stop teasing!!

-you felt that you were blushing and turned away from him, still unable to hide your smile. hobi laughed while he quickly stepped through the doorway, just in time to grab your wrist and make you face him again. "look at us, y/n, playfully bickering like a couple hmm~~", he said and gave you a smirk that made your knees weak, but you'd be damned if you'd show him that. So you looked him straight into his eyes with a cocky smile and asked: "anything you wanna ask me, jung hoseok?"

"you don't even know what you do to me with that smile of yours, sweetheart..."

"answer the question, jung hoseok."

"look at us us, flirting like a couple hmm~~"

(you didn't even notice how close you two were standing until there were only a few inches between your lips and his)

"I'm waiting", you whispered.

"i really think... ", he began and gently cupped your face meanwhile... "i really think that we should be a couple" he said and finally closed the little space which had remained between your lips.

[my-woozi-happiness]

Embracing Memories ~ A TodoBaku soulmate AU

Chapter 8.

“Sssh! Stop laughing!” Uraraka whispered as they silently moved the duo towards Bakugou’s room with the help of her quirk. “Kaminari, I swear. This was the only thing I could think of without waking them up.”

“Look at the way Bakugou is holding onto Todoroki though.” Kaminari chuckled, covering his mouth to stay as quiet as possible. “What do you think, Kirishima?”

Uraraka released her quirk as soon as the boys placed them down on the bed, quickly ushering the two out of the room, gently closing the door behind her.

“I’m worried about them, about Midoriya as well, he looked so shaken up.” Kirishima was frowning, his arms crossed as he looked down the hallway, not noticing Uraraka’s eyes on him. “I’m going to talk to him.”

Bakugou felt like he was floating, grumbling he barely registered the voices of his classmates, the sound of a door softly closing roused him from his sleep. Turning over he opened his eyes slowly, he stared straight at Todoroki’s sleeping face.

“What the fuck? Did we fall asleep?” Bakugou’s face turned red, his heart starting to beat faster at the thought of sharing a bed with the boy before him. “I should probably let him sleep for a bit longer.” Sitting up slowly he stretched his arms above his head, groaning as his shoulder popped. “He definitely saw something, he looked so surprised, so scared.” Leaning against the wall he looked at Todoroki. “Their expressions are the exact same. Charles sometimes feels so distant but you’re always so close to me.”

Stirring, Todoroki curled up more, mumbling about the bright light, reaching out to grab the blanket to cover himself, he heard a soft chuckle as he hit something hard. Opening his eyes, he slightly lifted his head seeing Bakugou looking at him with a grin.

“H-hey…” Todoroki felt his face getting warm, his mind immediately going back to their first kiss, to Bakugou calling him ‘love’. “You called me ‘love’ again. Was that you or was that Adam?” Sitting up, he sat next to Bakugou. “I saw them, Bakugou. When our wounds appeared, they were just there. I think they were the ones who knocked us out.”

Bakugou swore his heart would jump out of his chest, why was Todoroki being so cute? Shaking his head, he focused back on Todoroki’s voice.

“I panicked but I think Adam was there as well.” Gently grabbing Todoroki’s hand, Bakugou began to play with his fingers. “Those little shits, why are they doing this to us? We’re already re-living their lives, we feel their pain and now you’re able to see them?” He banged his head against the wall groaning.

Todoroki quickly put his hand behind Bakugou’s head, frowning, he squeezed Bakugou’s hand with the other.

“Please don’t hurt yourself.” Getting off the bed, Todoroki pulled Bakugou with him. “I was thinking, since I now know that I used to be a prince, do you think there is some information about me? I mean Charles.” Biting his lip, Todoroki glanced over at Bakugou’s laptop on his desk.

“Fuck icy-hot I don’t know. We only know their names, nothing else.” Pulling Todoroki closer, Bakugou pressed his lips against his forehead. “We can ask ponytail about this later, it seems she loves history. But first we actually need to talk to Deku.” Bakugou could feel his heart clenching as Todoroki wrapped his arms around his waist. They were there again, in his room this time. “I’m going to fucking blow you up if you keep messing with us Adam.”

They both pulled apart quickly as they heard laughter, looking around the room, they tried to find the source.

“You can’t exactly do that. We’re not real, we’re ghosts..” Adam appeared right in front of them, his eyes immediately focusing on Todoroki. “You really are just like Charles…” Moving closer to Todoroki, Adam cupped his face. “What happened though?” He gently moved his fingers over Todoroki’s scar.

Todoroki held his breath as Adam moved closer to him, he squeezed Bakugou’s hand tightly as his heart hammered against his chest. ‘He talks and moves just like Bakugou, his touch is like Bakugou. What is going on!?’  Todoroki was panicking.

“Oi, don’t fucking touch him.” Bakugou glared at Adam, wrapping an arm around Todoroki, pulling him closer. “Where is Charles? Shouldn’t he be here as well?” Bakugou shivered as he felt a hot breath on the other side of his face, he slowly turned his face, eyes widened as he was face to face with Charles.

“Hello darling~” Charles giggled. “You two look exactly the same, though your eyes are such an intense crimson and your hair is much more fluffier than Adams.” Charles smiled brightly. “You have the same scowl though, right Shouto?” Charles focused on Todoroki, who just looked confused.

“I-isn’t this like, forbidden?” Todoroki didn’t know what he should do, he wanted to run away but he couldn’t move at all, so instead he curled up more against Bakugou. “Why? Why are you two here?”

Sighing, Adam motioned for Charles to come to him, wrapping an arm around his waist when he was close enough.

“I’m afraid we can’t say anything, yet.” Adam smiled sadly. “You really have the same energy as my Charles. I’m really sorry, but we’ll meet again.” Pulling Charles closer they both disappeared but not before hearing Charles last words.

“The fuck? Don’t be harsh on David? He means fucking Deku?” Bakugou’s eye twitched, these two annoyed him so much. “Oi icy-hot!” Turning his head back towards Todoroki, he saw the faint blush on the other’s face. “Oi….are you blushing because of him?” Frowning Bakugou pulled his arm away from Todoroki, feeling a bit jealous.

“Ah! I-I I’m sorry!” Todoroki’s blush darkened. “H-he’s just like you, your touches are the same. It felt like I was pulled into that world as me, not as Charles.” Todoroki quickly grabbed Bakugou’s hand, pulling him towards himself. “Please don’t be mad. He just really caught me off guard.” Todoroki yelped as he was pushed down onto his back, when he opened his eyes again he stared straight into crimson eyes.

“I am mad, that’s Adam, he might be my past self, but we’re still two different people.” Growling, Bakugou moved his face closer to Todoroki’s. “He fucking touched my boyfriend, of course I’m mad.”

Todoroki smiled softly as Bakugou continued to ramble about Adam being an unfair bastard and touching what’s his.

“I’m yours?” Slipping his arms around Bakugou’s neck, he pulled the blonde down more, grinning. “Are you officially my boyfriend now?” Todoroki tilted his head, whispering in Bakugou’s ear. “You’ve heard me read the poem. ‘ And I’d choose you, in a hundred lifetimes, in a hundred worlds, in any version of reality, I’d find you and I’d choose you.’   I was yours the moment I was born , Katsuki.”  

Bakugou’s face turned red, setting off small explosions right next to Todoroki’s head, he dropped his head, burying his face in Todoroki’s neck.

“You’re killing me, Shouto.” He felt the duo haired male shiver underneath him. “The moment you were born huh? Then I’ll place my mark on you so that even in our future lives people will know that you’re taken.” Bakugou heard the small intake of breath, he chuckled. “I’m not going to do anything, love. Don’t worry.” Lifting his head back up, he stared into Todoroki’s eyes. “I’m always amazed at how fucking beautiful you are.”

Todoroki sputtered, pushing the blonde away from him, quickly getting up from the bed, his face completely red.

“Y-you’re an idiot.” Walking towards the window, he wrapped his arms around himself, suddenly feeling cold now that Bakugou wasn’t close to him. “How long were we out for? The snow piled up so high. I don’t think we’re able to go out anymore.”

Bakugou watched with a soft smile as Todoroki looked outside. Standing up, he made his way over to his boyfriend, wrapping his arms around his waist from behind, resting his chin on top of Todoroki’s shoulder.

“You want to go downstairs? I could make us some hot choco?” Bakugou chuckled as Todoroki nodded, leaning back against him. “How is your ankle? Does it still hurt?” He watched as Todoroki slowly turned around in his arms, resting his head against the blondes shoulder. “Oi, are you ok?”

“The word ‘curse’ and ‘it took us 200 years’ keep popping up into my head since we came back the first time.” Todoroki frowned. “Do you think they were cursed? Adam and Charles I mean?”  

Bakugou shook his head, playing with Todoroki’s hair, he didn’t want Todoroki to worry so much about their past lives.

“I don’t know, babe. But you shouldn’t worry so much. We’re alive right now, we’re in this life right now.” Gently pulling Todoroki away from him, he lifted Todoroki's hand, kissing the back of it. “I will never leave your side. They would have to fucking kill me. What? Why are you looking at me like that?”

“You called me ‘babe’ and not ‘love’ this time!” Todoroki’s eyes were wide but he had a huge smile on his face. “It was you who said it, not Adam.” Pressing his lips against Bakugou’s cheeks, Todoroki made a happy sound. “Lets go get that hot choco!” Todoroki felt overwhelmed, he didn't know what to do with himself, he had never experienced anything quite like this but he knew that Bakugou made him happy.

Bakugou stared as Todoroki almost bounces out of his room. He burst out in laughter, shaking his head. This boy was definitely changing him, quickly following his boyfriend, he grabbed a hold of his arm.

“You’re silly, you know that?” Bakugou smiled as Todoroki’s face flushed. “Cute as well.” Grinning, he messed up Todoroki’s hair, watching the two colored strands mixing together.

Both didn’t notice the two figures standing in the hallway, watching the new couple walking off. One of them holding back the other, mumbling words of comfort.

[haikyuu-scenarios-box]

Hi. I'm the anon who asked about au's. I'm just shy, so don't take offense my apology! You're great and friendly! I'd like a scenario request though! I've been into vampires since the Halloween season, and wanted to request one. A little late, but I guess any time is a good time, haha. I'd like it to be with Tsukishima being vampire and spending the night at his crushes house, and he ends up feeding on her in her sleep? You can do what you like with this idea! I'm very interested to see it!

A/N: omfggg i went so so overboard with this,, im just so damn weak for vampire!tsukishima. TW: blood obviously. Also, keep in mind that this request involves a character coming into the reader’s bedroom to p much prey on her while she’s asleep. There’s nothing sexual involved, but if you suspect that that type of scene may trigger you, then I suggest you either don’t read this or read at your own discretion. Ok?? ok,..,, you’ve been warned and you’re on your own now. Word count: 1,870 (lmao my bad)

UNDER THE CUT.

____________

His fingers were akin to glass; their delicacy threatened with a shatter as they brushed against the daisies. Traces of pollen were dusted along his palms, petals of ivory stroking the length of his legs. Sparse grass had buried itself into the folds that rested within his clothes, lightly pricking his skin. 

Discarding the vivid memory, Tsukishima recalled that he hadn’t seen the cottage by the meadow in over a century. 

To Tsukishima, those memories resembled scratched segments of dusty videocassettes. He remembered that he had a brother named Akiteru, a seamstress for a mother and a labourer for a father. Their faces, however, were permanently forgotten. It didn’t bother Tsukishima, though - he preferred it over death. If it weren’t for Yamaguchi turning him, he would have died following the pillage. 

Prior to meeting her, Tsukishima never kept track of time since he had all of eternity to live. In the past year, he’d grown attached enough to maintain his relationship with her, but not attached enough to risk getting his head severed from his body. Tsukishima planned to cut her out of his life soon.

‘Look at you all zoned out,’ she teased, ‘I didn’t take you for an art critic.’ 

‘You want a critique?’ Tsukishima sneered, ‘this painting’s really ugly.’

‘It’s not ugly!’ she exclaimed, ‘Ojiisan gave it to me. He bought it from an artist in Nagiso long ago.’ 

‘Well, he had awful taste,’ he knew that that wasn’t his real opinion. What else was he supposed to say, though? That the painting of a cottage by a meadow reminded him of his first home? That he was alive before her grandfather was? 

Of course not.

‘You have a lot of nerve saying that…’ she poked the bridge of Tsukishima’s glasses, ‘… when you’re the one who’s wearing those. Get nicer frames.’

‘I’m sorry I like to see,’ he sarcastically said with a smirk, ‘is this how you treat your guests?’

‘You’re the one who said my painting’s ugly,’ she shrugged, collapsing on the couch. ‘I think ojiisan said he met a vampire when he visited Nagiso.’ 

‘Don’t be stupid,’ Tsukishima sneered, joining her, ‘there’s barely any in Japan.’

‘Yes there is,’ she asserted, ‘they used to live savagely centuries ago, but they’ve integrated into human society.’

Tsukishima was almost taken aback. She was right - creatures of his kind still existed and they integrated well. Too well, to the point where they were widely considered to be an extinct being.

‘Let me guess, your ojiisan told you that,’ Tsukishima masked his surprise with a taunting tone, ‘do vampires also disappear in mirrors and wear black cloaks?’ 

She crossed her arms as she stuck her tongue out childishly, ‘Make fun of me all you want, but he said that he knew what he saw. A young woman in an alleyway,’ she shuddered, her spine graced by a shiver, ‘her fangs buried deeply within a mangled cat, slurping up all its blood.’

‘How scary,’ Tsukishima mocked, pretending as though he hadn’t done such a thing. He was repulsed at the idea of feeding on animals, but centuries ago, there were times where he found himself desperate. All he fed on nowadays were suicide victims beneath a nearby cliff and from blood banks. Yamaguchi did the same.

‘Whatever,’ she stood up, stretching her arms out with a yawn, ‘don’t come crying to me if you ever do come across a vampire.’ 

‘Because in that situation, I’d definitely come to you,’ Tsukishima sarcastically remarked, ‘I’d feel safe with your wooden stake and silver.’

‘You realise I can make you sleep on the couch instead of the guest bedroom, right?’

____________

Every attempt he made to quiet his mind had failed; it descended, further, further and further into an obsession with the possibility that a long blade would soon sever his head. 

Tsukishima was never aware that she possessed any knowledge about his kind. Vampires became less of a reality and more of an old tale. Not many knew that they ate human food, drank human drinks - the only difference was that it was all tasteless and that his nutrition could only be obtained from fresh blood. Put simply, human foods were a useless filler. 

Although she didn’t mention it, Tsukishima believed it was likely that she was aware of that fact. As his pupils fixated themselves to the ceiling, a year was suddenly no longer a fleeting moment to him. A year’s worth of a close relationship with a human was a long time. Especially when the human belongs to the minority that believed that vampires still lived amongst them. 

Yamaguchi had warned him of this, urging him to recall when hiring vampire hunters was common practise, when suspected vampires (and any human who sheltered a vampire) were burned at the stake, begging for any form of mercy. 

Tsukishima began packing away the belongings he brought with him to her home, concluding that her memory of him had to turn into a mirage, just like the faces of his family. As he made his way out the guest bedroom, he realised how he loathed how fond he grew of her. Tsukishima wanted to fully remember the arch of her brows, the lashes that curved away from her waterline, the wit of her tongue, the outline of her lips.

He passed by her bedroom, knowing that he couldn’t rely on his memories. Eventually, the centuries to come would led them to disintegrate into ashes, where they will never arise again - memories bore no similarity to a phoenix.

Turning around, Tsukishima quietly placed his duffle bag on the floor and carefully opened the door. He was unsure as to whether he could remember her once he left - but he was confident that he wouldn’t forget the flavour her blood carried. 

Her body had already been lulled into a deep state of sleep - after all, Tsukishima possessed heightened senses and could hear her slow and rhythmic breathing. 

The emotional attachment Tsukishima held towards her was constantly denied by him, until he envisioned his pillow beside hers. He falsely hoped to share that blanket with her for the nights to come, perhaps even bicker over blanket-stealing the following morning. Maybe she snored sometimes and he could tease her about it. Would they wake up at the same time, or would he wake up first? 

Tsukishima didn’t want those thoughts to exist anymore. He wanted them to burn with intense fury and relief; identical to the burning of suspected vampires centuries ago. 

She was already asleep on her side, her body facing the wall. Kneeling beside the double bed, Tsukishima warily placed a hand on her shoulder. The thumb of his other hand rested along the angle of her jaw, gently pushing her head further away from her neck. For a couple of seconds, Tsukishima merely stared at the skin he was about to pierce. She’ll keep him in mind while the marks scab over and bruise, but after that, she will forget about him; because he’ll be long gone by then. 

The longer his fangs grew, the more reluctant he became to bite into her. This wasn’t going to be the first time that Tsukishima fed on someone alive - there was a time when he was forced to do so. He knew his neck anatomy quite well, he wasn’t an idiot who recklessly bit into people and accidentally killed them.

Tsukishima’s felt the tip of his fangs touch her neck. This situation lacked any similarity to his past feedings on sleeping humans, for it was completely unrelated to survival. Rather, it was a feeble to cure his illness of melancholy; the fever that forced him to breathe the air that, to him, resembled the very salts of the ocean. Every inhale filled his lungs with blue hellfire.

That was what drove him to finally abandon his loyalty to cautiousness.

Tsukishima haphazardly sink his fangs into her neck, memorising the intensity of the iron. He knew that if he were to suddenly pull his head away in that moment, he’d rip her neck wide open. But he had to bite down with that much force. He had to remember her. 

As hot, thick scarlet slid down Tsukishima’s throat, he began to actually consider the consequences. With the mark, she’d easily have the power to report him. Although the probability of anyone believing her was slim, his actions were still creating the possibility of his death. For a mere second, Tsukishima even pictured himself turning her.

Once a low yelp was heard by Tsukishima’s hypersensitive ears, he rid his mind of those disorganised thoughts. He was sure that his absence of self-control had awakened her, yet he began to question whether he really was scared of getting killed. Tsukishima’s lived for centuries. He’d seen it all. 

With that realisation, Tsukishima strengthened his grip and pushed her head even further away from her neck. He noted that as his gulps turned longer and deeper, her whimpers grew louder and her knuckles curled themselves into the sheets.

When he finally pulled away, he watched her reluctantly place her fingers on the wound, smearing the bloody marks in the process. Tsukishima’s lips were still warm, a crimson trail slowly dripping down his chin. 

Tsukishima sat up, retracting his fangs back into his gums. He headed towards the door, wiping away the blood with the back of his hand. He forced the turmoil within his chest to be replaced with apathy, since he already knew the facial expression that will rest upon her face once she turned around - forehead wrinkled, eyebrows knitted, lip corners pulled downwards - sheer terror.

‘You…’ she trailed off, her voice uncertain, ‘… if you wanted to bite me that bad, you could have just asked.’

For the first time since Yamaguchi turned him, Tsukishima was the one stunned by a human. His eyelids drew themselves back slightly, his mouth agape with an intense confusion. Tsukishima didn’t want to look at her - he had no desire for her to see the breach of his facade. 

‘I already knew.’ 

After a long pause, Tsukishima snapped. ‘And you didn’t tell me,’ The apathy within his chest started to dissipate, an immeasurable confusion and fury settling in. ‘Instead, you decided to have a casual conversation with me about my kind.’ 

‘Kei,’ she said, ‘turn around and look me in the eye,’ she’d never used his first name before. He never did, either, although he always wished their relationship would reach a point where he could. 

Tsukishima obliged with her command. ‘You think I’m a fool, do you?’ his skin almost sizzled against his bones, overwhelmed by every form of hurt he’d experienced throughout the centuries. ‘All this time, you acted like you’re oblivious to what I am and spoke to me as though I’m a human.’

Mainly, it was the hurt that was buried within the sense of imminent loss.

‘Well, I’m not a human,’ Tsukishima revealed his fangs once more, clenching his teeth in anger, ‘and that means that I’ll kill you right now.’ 

‘You won’t,’ she said, her smile soft enough to be mistaken for a smirk. She was smug about the fact that her suspicion was true, though - this was Tsukishima’s crush, after all. 

She slowly stepped closer to him until she was able to firmly press her chest against his. Tenderly placing an open palm against Tsukishima’s cheek, the pad of her thumb gently stroked his cheekbone; an attempt to induce tranquillity within him. Once her gentle gesture ceased, she hooked an index finger underneath the fabric of her shirt, pulling it away from her neck to expose the bare skin of her shoulder.

‘Drink.’ 

[marvel-lucy]

The Ultimate Weapon, chapter 9

OOh, I was being dark and violent here! :D

I probably wasn’t ready for this. Maybe I never would have been, but I’d started now. I felt as if I had two existences – the six years with Hydra, and the few weeks here – and now I was going to see pictures from another existence. How many lives could one person live in twenty years?

The images started to scroll, each appearing on the screen full size for a few seconds before the next. There were a family laughing at a back yard barbecue; a girl with pigtails and a missing front tooth; ID photos, unsmiling and face on; then formal school photos, club members lined up in rows. I watched, letting them flash before my eyes. The last image appeared, taken from a newspaper article, it showed a girl – a teenager. The photo looked like one taken by a friend, she was laughing, in a bedroom somewhere. I could see the writing underneath, ‘missing schoolgirl’. The image remained on the screen, and I stared into the eyes of the girl, then got up and went and looked at my eyes in the bathroom mirror. They were the same.

I felt a jolt of recognition that had me gasping for air. That was me. Those were me, and my family. I grabbed up the screen again and sat down in the corner of the room, subconsciously feeling the need for the security of my back to the wall. More slowly this time, I went through the images again, inspecting each in turn, staring into the background of each photo at wallpaper, furniture, trees. Flashes of memory started shooting through my mind, each image seeming to come alive with sounds, smells, and then gone. I remembered the feel of the grass on my legs as a child at the barbecue, the smell of hotdogs and the sound of laughter; I remembered the blood down my shirt front as my first tooth fell out on photo day, and the feeling of poking my tongue into the hole. ID photos of my parents and brother brought back the sound of their voices, the smell of shampoo and the feel of my Dad’s stubble. Over and over I scrolled through the photos, unaware that my breathing was becoming more laboured as my brain tried to reconstruct a missing life.

Finally, panting, I let my head fall back against the wall, and dropped the screen to the floor. I shut my eyes, and tried to control my breathing. Pieces of memory continued to return, flashing onto the screen of my brain. I pressed my hands to the side of my head, desperate to shut off the flow of information but it came, faster and faster. Birthday cakes, family pets. The pain of a broken arm, the chill of a swimming pool. Names and faces. I squeezed my eyes tighter shut and pressed my hands harder to my head, afraid of what was coming. I was vaguely aware of someone coming into the room but my muscles were locked into a spasm while my brain overloaded with years of repressed memories, beaten down by Hydra. I heard voices speak, but wasn’t able to understand what they meant.

“We’re going to have to sedate her, this was a bad idea…” “Do we know who we’ll get back? The girl or the killer…” “She needs something to calm her breathing Bruce…”

A sharp scratch on my arm and I felt myself slipping to the floor, then being lifted, and then I lost all sense of my body. But my mind continued to rush, the mind powers I’d had enhanced easily overriding the tranquiliser I’d been given, and now there was no escape. I was trapped in my unresponsive body as the memories flooded back, and I couldn’t even scream.

I remembered being 14. Walking home from school in the summer, a book bag in one hand, phone in the other. I was thinking about a boy at school, about going for a swim, about a nagging I’d had from my Dad for untidiness that morning. I was at ease and relaxed, a happy kid on the edge of growing up. I remembered a sharp stab in my neck, my hand rising up to wipe away a mosquito or a thorn, and then falling to the grass verge, seeing boots approaching me and hands picking me up.

I remembered the back of a van, a long drive. A plane? Flashes of drugged memory made no sense for a while, but my mind powers meant that nothing had truly been forgotten, simply buried under layers of pain. Now, sedated on a bed in New York, the layers were stripped away.

I remembered waking to cold and dark, trying to stand and finding I was chained to a bed. Crying out for my Mom and for help, sobbing myself into a cold sleep. I remembered waking again to a man standing over me, and desperately trying to push him away with my hands and my mind, but at that point I’d never learnt to control my powers and he easily swatted both away. Shouting and crying with fear as a collar was locked around my neck, and soon learning that if I used my powers, or resisted, it would be activated.

I remembered the first time I was led to the chair. Bruised now after beatings, after falling to the floor under the control of the collar; shivering and starved and bereft of hope, except the hope I might die soon. Seeing a large chair with restraints and fighting being put in until a punch to my side knocked me over and I wasn’t able to resist. I remember being strapped in, the collar removed and a piece of leather put between my teeth, fear making me sweat. I remembered the needle going in, the feeling of ice spreading up my arm making me bite down and scream.

Still the memories kept coming. If I hadn’t been sedated, I’d have beaten my head against a wall to try and escape but to anyone observing me I must have looked peaceful and rested, unaware of the barrage of information flooding my brain while my body lay still.

Memories of repeated beatings, every time I failed to comply. Being taught to fight, all with the collar on so that if I tried to attack or escape, I would be punished. Learning to fight with knives, sticks, fists, relentlessly. Little rest, little food. More injections. Time was meaningless in my head and in the bunker, had I been there days or weeks or months when they brought out my family? Leaning exhausted against a wall, seeing the door open and my parents and brother come stumbling out, bruised and bloodied and collared.

I remember my brother vomiting with fear, my father sobbing, my mother mouthing ‘I love you’. I remember using every power I had to try and free them, kicking and screaming and punching, lashing out with my mind. Those were the first two Hydra agents I killed, two guards who had brought me to my cell. Then I saw my father, fall, choking to the floor, as his collar was activated. He writhed, purple faced as I screamed. I fell to my knees and they let him breath again.

I remembered a man in uniform in front of me. A voice. “Understand this. Your family will die. You have a choice. Submit and they die easily. Resist and they die hard. This pain will make you stronger, make you a weapon. This is the last choice you will ever be allowed to make for yourself. What will it be?”

I remember looking up, seeing the soldier’s scarred face in front of me, and my family behind. I saw my mother’s eyes on me and again she whispered. ‘It’s OK’. That had broken me then, and it broke me again now. I tried to turn my head away from the memories but there was no escape. I remember saying ‘I submit’ and then watching the soldier turn and shoot them each once, their bodies crumpling together.

After that, I remember blocking out love, fear, hope. There was nothing left. No one would save me, I couldn’t let myself be a person anymore because a person could grieve and I couldn’t let myself. Still they kept at me, training me, giving me more serum, more beatings. I remembered the time when they filled my cell with water to my ankles so I was constantly cold and wet, other times when they denied me water and kept the cell so hot my lips cracked and bled with the dehydration. I remembered being hosed down with water so icy I lost my breath and my skin turned blue. I remembered days and days without food where I was still expected to fight, any weakness punished. Every torment stripped away another layer of my humanity until I was just a core of anger, a narrow beam of hatred for the world.

I remembered each face that had hurt me. The soldiers who had taught me to fight by attacking me, while I was half starved and half naked and they wore armour. I remembered the scientists who had injected me with serum, brought me back to life from the brink of death, studied my regression to animal state with interest. I remembered the soldiers who had created each scar I had seen on my body. I remembered when I had first been allowed out on a mission, drugged beforehand so that all I was aware of was my target, then tearing through a building until I found the target and broke his neck. I didn’t know who he was, but that death was on me, his blood was on my hands as were the others that came after.

I remembered the constant changes. The gentle treatment – a bed, some clothes – that were then taken away for no reason. I remembered the days of darkness followed by the days of constant light. I remembered not being allowed to lie down, and not being allowed to stand. I remembered being taught to attack using only my mind, sharpening my mind powers until I could make blood boil from behind a wall, then my collar shocking me again every time I used them. I remembered the scarred man again, telling me over and over that I was their weapon, that my strength was forged in my pain and that they would break me down and build me in their own image.

And all through this, I remembered my mother saying ‘it’s OK’. No matter what they did to me, how they broke me down, I held on to that in a corner of my mind. Perhaps that one memory I had somehow kept for myself was what had enabled me to survive and still retain some control and some humanity, but it was such a tiny shred and I was afraid it would be extinguished.

--

My eyelids fluttered and I was aware of the soft light through the curtains in my room. The sedative was wearing off and slowly my senses made out that I was lying on the bed, that there were people murmuring in the room, that my muscles were slowly coming back to life. I coughed and tried to sit myself up but with the sedative still in my blood, I was weak and fell back again.

“Hey there”. A soft voice, Bruce. “OK, we got you, stay lying down, you’re not up to sitting up yet”. Another voice, Sam.

“We think it was just a bit much, showing you all that information so soon, we’ve taken it away, no need to think about it for now, just rest”. That was Bruce again. They didn’t realise what had happened.

I turned to look at him. “Too late”. My voice was strained as if I’d been silently screaming. “It’s all come back. You drugged me and I couldn’t escape the memories. It’s all here now. Everything I’ve done. Everything that’s happened”. My voice broke again and I coughed. Bruce’s eyes were wide with shock. “You trapped me in my head and now I know everything. You should have let me die”. I rolled onto my side, turning my face away as if they could see the horrors on my face, and sobbed.

--

I was aware of people in the room, they didn’t leave me alone for the next few days. I lay in the bed and cried, digging my nails into my hands until they bled under the sheets. There was always someone there but I couldn’t speak, I couldn’t reach out, as the horrors in my head replayed over and over. All the deaths I had caused. The loss of my parents, my brother – my fault. All because Hydra wanted what was in my head, something I’d never asked to be there. My muscled ached with tension, and I withdrew, locking myself into my head with shame and guilt.

I don’t know how long it had been, days, a week? Sam and Bruce had tried talking to me, Steve had offered me food, Nat had just sat silently. I was aware of other bodies but I couldn’t respond. I heard the door open again and someone new enter, the sound of talking, which then got louder than normal. The words still meant nothing to me.

“Just let me try ok, everyone out. It’s not like you’re having any success and you all know I’m the only person who can really understand what she’s been through”.

More footsteps, people leaving perhaps. I was only vaguely aware as my head was too filled with past horrors for the present.

Then a shadow fell over my face, someone standing between me and the light as I cried. The body crouched down, it was Bucky, his head now level with mine. His voice was soft.

“I know they’ve tried gentle. I can’t do that, it’s not in me. I can tell you though, that I’ve been there. What Hydra did to you? A lot of that, they did to me too. You’re not alone kid. And I can’t lie to you and tell you that it’s going to disappear and you’ll be happy again, although that’s what they want me to say. What I can say though, is that if you fight through this and get up and eat and rest and pretend to feel human, there will be better days”. He paused. “And I can promise you that if you can find a way to function, you can have revenge”. That made me look up. “These guys, the Avengers, they’re the good guys, we know that. They fight Hydra to make the world a better place. You and me, we have darkness inside us. I don’t think they get that. I fight Hydra to try and relieve that darkness. Or maybe to cover it with darkness of my own choosing, I haven’t looked too hard. Do that with me. By my side. Beat them, for what they did to you”

I’d stopped crying while he spoke. I had no hope then for a future of happiness but listening to Bucky, I did have hope for revenge.