#I would not have done any different in his situation
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a touch apart;
mr. crawling x f!reader
plot: allowing mr. crawling to get closer, he tries his best to make you happy, trying all sorts of things — themes: oral (receiving), touching, smut, limited dialogue as i tried to keep it how it is in the game — w.c: 0.9k
masterlist • ao3
On the rare occasion that bedrest wouldn’t help you recover, Mr. Crawling would grow equally restless along with you, although more so just confused. In his mind, it would be his fault for not being safe enough for you. He watched over you as you rested, and kept his height to a minimum to ensure your comfort, and yet, you could never relax fully in this place.
In recent times however, you had been allowing him to get closer than usual—more than ever before, in fact. No longer did you react to his spontaneous hugs and head pats by pushing him away, and instead allowed for him to close whatever brief distance you both had. No longer did you also feel surprised to see him there all of the time, doting on you and waiting for you—instead rather, expecting him to be there.
So, when you again, didn’t quite turn him away, he crept closer towards you with a different sort of intention in mind.
He wasn’t quite sure what he was doing, but he knew that he wanted to be closer to you, any other sort of reaction was almost unacceptable in his mind.
He reeled you in close, feeling your frame mould to his own like the missing part of a puzzle that he never knew he was missing, finding solace in completing each other.
You sat on the bed, watching as he crawled towards you, stopping right where you sat. His hands wrapped around your legs in a needy hug, resting his head against your thighs. In return, you tried to offer a head pat back, offering soft and soothing languid gestures over his silky black hair.
Mr Crawling’s touches weren’t immediately invasive right away, although his touch dabbled on something slightly beyond just explorative, reaching further beyond than he perhaps meant to go. His ghostly palms slid over your thighs, brushing milky-smooth languid touches along your supple skin. However, immediately retracting his caressing from the moment you tensed up, fearing that he had done something wrong.
In a curious tone, he tried to assess the situation, “Pain here?”
You shook your head, hoping to shake off the creeping blush that settled over your complexion too. You weren’t entirely opposed to him exploring your body in that way, but you also wanted him to understand what he was doing.
Mr. Crawling then paused for a moment before returning his hands to the area once more, intently studying your reaction as he went along. As if mentally logging that your state was flustered, he seemed to register a certain thought in mind, his expression changing from cautious to curious.
“Happy?” he asked instead, his voice very soft.
Stifling your need, you nodded while chewing on your bottom lip.
Understanding the memo, Mr. Crawling carefully slipped his fingers just below your concealed sex, poking a finger inside to study your potential reactions. He seemed to successfully register that touching certain parts of your body meant for unique reactions, which made him feel excited in return, so this was a reaction that he definitely wanted to explore.
Moving forward with a tentative touch, he eventually let you wiggle out of your underwear, dropping the pair to gather right at your ankles. He then moved his fingers a little closer on one hand, using his other palm to spread your legs further apart with an idea in mind.
Slowly, he moved his head forward, propping his tongue out and licking where his fingers parted away at the folded area of your heat, seeking out the area where you were the most responsive. Your clit tingled as he successfully connected to it, biting back a barely contained whimper. Mr. Crawling took note of your flushed state, understanding that this must have been your body’s happy zone, before lapping at it in all sorts of various ways, only repeating the motions that seemed to gather the strongest response.
Such feelings were greatly reciprocated by you as you involuntarily anchored your hand over his raven locks, clawing—grappling tight against his hair—reeling in whatever you could in a fit of feverish need. Mr. Crawling all the while continued to flick his tongue against your sensitive bud, letting your pleasure rise to an almost burning peak—yet only teasingly so. Mr. Crawling, unbeknownst to his fleeting spurs of your own received pleasure, kept pulling back to catch glimpses of your flustered state.
Slowly but surely, you grew closer to your anticipated end, which he seemed to catch onto. Changing things up slightly to keep up with you, Mr. Crawling sped up the motions towards an almost hectic fervour, wanting nothing more than to give you as much of his ‘help’ as he possibly could physically accomplish.
Your thighs soon tightened and clamped shut from such searing anticipation; your fingernails clawing against his scalp as the rolling bliss finally mounted, until at last, the coiling warmth from within the confines of your stomach had at last constricted beyond the point of no return, uncoiling radiating sweeps of pooling pleasure flooded your core, so desperately pent-up, coming undone at long, long last.
Noticing such a reaction, Mr. Crawling appeared to be both happy and confused at your ruffled state, bringing you closer towards him right away, sitting you on the ground with his arms wrapped right around you in a tight hug. He seemed to understand that you greatly enjoyed such a thing but remained confused as to why you looked so distressed—so agitated, almost.
“Happy?” he asked again, his chin resting atop your head.
You breathlessly nodded, leaning into his chest, taking note of his obvious arousal now evidently pressing against you.
A thought entered your mind as you slowly caught your breath again.
Maybe you should return the favour?
#mr. crawling#mr crawling smut#homcipher smut#mr. crawling x reader#mr. crawling x you#mr crawling x reader#mr crawling x you#mr crawling x mc#mr crawling x y/n#mr crawling#mr crawling homicipher#mr crawling headcanons#homicipher#homicipher x reader#homicipher x mc#homicipher x you#mr crawling fanfic#homicipher fanfiction#x reader smut#x you smut#fanfiction smut#homicipher smut#homicipher imagines#homicipher headcanons#homicipher mr crawling#homicipher mr. crawling#f!reader#x f!reader#x female reader#xposted to ao3
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SAVIOR COMPLEX
au where leon is a normal cop at raccoon city and you’re a pretty little thing he’s obsessed with ^___^
cw: stalking, kidnapping, drug use, dubcon, dry humping (?), hard language, dead dove do not eat, i think that’s it!
not proof read cuz i’m lazy lol
Leon, in his mind, was a good man.
He’d done a lot in his career, saved countless lives; so when he sees you he thinks it’s no different, not really. You were a young thing, pretty and too naive for your own good. Didn’t you know the world now? How cruel it could be? It made Leon sick to think about it, he’d only seen you once — pretty and smiling and all he could think was how the world was going to fuck you up eventually.
He began watching you then, like a good man does. Following you to your small apartment complex (on a side of town that put a sour taste in his mouth) every night, watching you from your window until you fell asleep, it was all precautionary really, he told himself. Had to make sure you were safe. That nothing bad would ever happen.
It’d been this way for a few weeks, maybe around a month or so until he witnessed the incident that really made his blood boil over. A man, taller and creepy, had been following you around the store for a while now, looking for his way in. Leon definitely couldn’t interject, not now, not when you didn’t know him, bound to just make the situation worse. So he watched, clenching the cart he had in his hand so tightly his knuckles turned white.
He almost interjected when he saw the man put his hand on your waist, watching as you cowered away as he grabbed something for you on a higher self. You poor, sweet thing, so naive and stupid. Leon decided then he had to do whatever it would take to help you. That’s what it was really, helping.
Leon was a good man.
-
It was harder than he originally thought taking you, you had a lively group of friends and supportive parents he would no doubt have to figure his way around. But, oh how the heavens must of listened to his prayers when he’d seen you (followed you for more than two hours) stumbling out of a bar drunk and alone.
It was divine timing really, Leon thought to himself. You were stumbling around to a back alley, fiddling with your phone in an attempt to order a ride share to pick you up, no doubt. How stupid were you really, Leon thought. Drunk and alone and ordering a car from a stranger to make sure you got home safe? You really truly knew no better, huh? What if you got hurt, kidnapped, assaulted?
Leon made it his mission all those weeks ago to protect you, help you at any cost, so when he sneaks up behind you placing the rag over your mouth until your body goes limp he’s simply doing it out of protection, out of love.
When he drags your limp body into his car, making sure no one saw, all he can think is how much better off you were in his arms. He was a cop after all, right?
Leon was a good man, he truly honestly believed that.
-
“You’re home now,” He’d explained when you came to in Leon’s apartment. You were scared, huddled in the corner of your pretty pink room ( which Leon had spent a lot of time on in decorating), and Leon really was trying his best to make you comfortable.
He sauntered over to you, and you couldn’t help but notice how he looked like he was a predator stalking his prey, leaning down and reaching his hand out to you in a kind gesture you hadn’t expected, “Let’s talk on the bed, why don’t we baby?” He spoke softly, kindly.
You were still frightened as hell, way too frightened to resist him, so with shaky fingers and sweaty palms you grasped his much bigger one and let him help you up. Leon moved you two to the bed, it was soft and had a pink floral bedspread, and sat closer to you than you wanted.
You had some strength, and you were confused and nervous, “Why?” stumbled out of your lips, hoarse and soft.
Leon nodded his head, “I knew you’d ask that, that’s okay—“ He leans up, brushes some hair off your forehead causing you to flinch, “— I wouldn’t expect you to understand at first, any how.” He spoke like he knew you, how long had he been watching you? Days? Months?
“I saved you.” He spoke matter of factly, it sent a chill down your spine. Saved you? From what?
“I-I don’t need saving,” You found courage to speak, still soft, still so hoarse, “I think you have the wrong p-person I-“
Leon’s jaw clinched as you cut yourself off. Of course you did, Leon’s not fucking stupid. Are you really so goddamn dumb to not realize how scary the world is? What it can do to sweet little things like you? But no, of course you didn’t know that, how could he expect you to? He pushed the rising anger down, Leon was a good man and really only got angry sometimes and he was going to control it if it meant making you like him. Getting you to love him.
“Pretty thing,” He spoke, moving closer to you so your knees knocked together, “I don’t expect you to understand.”
-
Despite everything, you just weren’t seeming to adjust to your new surroundings. Leon had saved you a little over a week ago, and despite trying to make you as comfortable as possible you still just seemed to want to leave.
After your first conversation Leon tried and tried to interact with you, form a relationship with you. He brought you three meals a day, each time watching you struggle to find a new way to escape. First it was the sealed window, the lock picking of the dead bolted doors, even trying to attack him like Leon can’t over power you in seconds. He couldn’t figure out why he couldn’t get you comfortable here.
Why couldn’t you see everything he was doing was for you? You can’t escape, not when the world is just going to eventually eat you up and leave you as broken as him. He was doing the right thing, keeping you here, why couldn’t you see that?
After another week of escape attempts and dry conversations over take out he had gotten you, you finally let up a bit. More open, more willing, the conversation was still dry but at least you weren’t trying to escape anymore.
“Sweet girl,” He spoke kindly,like he always did, as he entered with a tray of food. “I brought your food.” He entered the room, locking the various locks behind him as he sat on your bed. Leon had been nothing but kind in the past two weeks you’ve been here. It made you confused how someone who could so viciously take you was so kind hearted. You walked over to the bed, inspecting the food.
“You didn’t put anything in it, did you?” You asked, just like you always asked.
“Would that make you easier to manage, pretty thing?” He joked. It wasn’t funny, instead it made you feel sick how he could even joke about a topic like that. “No,” He reassured after seeing your fast twist up, “I didn’t put anything in it.” He leaned down, taking a bite of the food to show you it wasn’t contaminated, and only then did you feel safe enough to bring the fork to your lips.
Leon watched you eat for a few moments before speaking, “I was working today—“ He loved these stories, you thought, the ones that make the world seem bad. “— And we got a call. A guy shot his girlfriend. Can you believe that?” He moved to place his palm on your head, smiling at you bright and kind, “Thank god you’re here, right? Not with a sick bastard that could hurt you.”
You could almost laugh, did he not see who he was? A sick bastard in his own right, twisted and fucked up, just kind about it. You simply nodded, it was easier to give in, easier to please him. “Right.” You spoke softly.
-
It was another two weeks and you, embarrassingly so, had gotten more comfortable here. Sleep came more easy to you and Leon was slowly becoming a more comforting presence in your life.
He brought you food, just like always, telling you about his latest work story as you sipped your water. Unfortunately, the stories were starting to scare you, make your hair stand on end as he tells you about a man who murdered his family.
“Make sure to drink it all,” Leon dotes on you, tapping your glass with a big finger, “Need my pretty girl hydrated, hm?” You nod sweetly, just like you’ve been doing the past couple weeks and drink it all in three big gulps.
And okay, Leon was a good man!!! But he wasn’t always honest. He hadn’t been feeding you drugs, but that didn’t mean you weren’t taking them. He’d put them in your drink, mix them up until they were dissolved and make sure you drink it all. It wasn’t anything bad, what he gave you just made you a little sleepy and maybe a little more pliable to what he wanted from you. It didn’t hurt and he wouldn’t keep you out his stuff forever, just until you were ready to be weened off. When you were ready to love him back sober.
When your meal was done and he could tell you were feeling hazy, he leaned down like he always did and placed a soft kiss to your forehead mumbling what a good job you did for him. And you couldn’t help but admit how it made you feel, giddy and comforted.
Leon really wasn’t an awful guy, you caught yourself thinking as he exited the room. He fed you sufficiently, gave you the best clothes and softest towels to shower with, and he really wasn’t that terrible of company. Another 10 or so minutes passed and you were exhausted, falling into a slumber full of Leon.
-
You’d been here two months now, Leon kept you more drugged up than sober these days, but it made you so kind and needy. That’s right he said needy. A couple weeks ago your demeanor began to change, excitement filling you when he’d enter the room, telling him how much you’d missed him while away. He could get used to this.
He’d come to visit you before bed, you were in a pink pretty night gown with your hair in two messy braids when he’d came into the room.
“Leon,” You smiled softly at him, big doe eyes focused on the man by the door way.
“Hi sweetheart,” He spoke, locking the door and walking over to your bed to sit next to you, “Have a fun day, hm?” He pet your hair, giddy in the way that you lean into it.
“Had a good day, watched movies.” Ah yeah, Leon had gotten you a small box tv and some dvds from a resale shop, he was glad you were enjoying those.
“Good, good girl,” He spoke, not missing the way you purred hazily at the nickname, “Little girls deserve to have fun, yeah?”
You nodded at him happily, leaning more into his touch. You’d been such a good girl these past couple weeks, he pressed a kiss to your cheek and he felt how warm you got underneath his touch.
You were so affectionate tonight, would he test the waters more? See what else he could get away with?
“Baby, could we do something different tonight?”
“Different…how?” You spoke softly, flinching a little out of fear. Ah, he expected that to still be there. The thought of something new in this situation was bound to be scary.
“You’ll enjoy yourself angel,” He promised, pressing another sweet kiss to your cheek. He moved so he was laid on the bed next to you, sitting up with his head against the headboard. “Why don’t you give me a kiss first, hm?”
Leon had gotten you to kiss him a couple days prior, you’d been so nervous and fumbling when he’d held your head with his big hands explaining that he deserved a kiss for everything he’d done for you. He was too mean to be the one to kiss you first, waiting for you to stand on you tippy toes and place your lips against his. After a few minutes he’d grown impatient until you did just that, a small peck and turned into a heated session that had you panting into his mouth.
And now you loved kissing him, all hazy and dumb as you would beg him for goodbye kisses everytime he left you. So asking you for a kiss now was nothing out of the ordinary, and it wasnt out of the ordinary for you to climb into his lap and kiss him sloppily and sweet just like you were doing now.
And Leon *loved* it, the patience, the drugging, the kind sweet words was all worth it to lead to moments like this. With you licking at his bottom lip messily until he opened up to shove his tongue down your throat.
He was so happy it wasn’t some punk ass guy doing this to you, a man you didn’t deserve. It had to be him, he was everything you needed. He tested the waters, moving his hands to grip at your waist, he felt you jump beneath him, flinching at the new action. He pulled away smiling at you kindly,
“I told you something new, baby. You gotta trust me,” He gripped your hips tighter, feeling how you shook under him. It was exhilarating having you like this, inexperienced and scared under his touch.
“L-Leon,” You stuttered out, readjusting in his hold, making him groan out softly.
“Be patient, sweet thing.” He demanded, moving you around his lap, releasing another low groan from him.
You could feel something hard under you, hard and big. You gasp, trying to lift yourself off of him and he pushes you back down. “We’re gunna have s’much fun together, ain’t we sweet thing?” He slurred out until he found a good position for you to be in. Leaning his head against the headboard. “Gunna move your hips yeah? Be real weird at first, ‘kay baby? But I’ll make you feel real good sweet girl.” He spoke, leaning up to kiss the shell of your ear.
You’d gotten to the point where it was hard to refuse him, out of fear? Maybe. Or maybe it was something more. So you just nod eagerly, overwhelmed tears filling up your eyes as you wait for his instruction or his motion.
He begins rocking your hips against what you assume is his cock, you gasp softly, the feeling new and foreign to you.
Leon lets out a deep groan, he was loving this. He couldn’t believe he was here with you like this, rocking against his cock. He grips your hips harder, picking up the pace as your clothes cunt rubs against his cock. “God, aren’t you glad I took you, hm?” He’s rambling as you gasp and whine and cry under his hold, “If you’d done this with anyone else baby, I would’ve had to kill them, yeah? Aren’t you glad I rescued you.”
“Y-yeah,” You whine out, over come with this new feeling. The only things separating your cunt and his hard cock was your think panties and his rough pajama pants that rubbed deliciously against your pussy. You’re crying, overwhelmed by the feeling, lashes wet and tears dripping onto Leon’s cheeks (not that he gave a fuck), you move your hands up, shakily wiping the wet from his face as he moves you all at a fast pace.
“Enjoying yourself little girl? Yeah?”
“Uh-huh,” You hiccup, hazy and high, “T-thank you..” You whisper out.
“Dirty thing,” He groans out, moving you faster against his cock. He could only imagine what it’d be like to finally sink himself inside of you. He knows for a fact how wet you’d be, how he’d have to work you on his fingers before you take his big dick. The thought could make him cum in his pants.
“L-Leon I feel funny I…” You trail off, gripping his shirt in your smaller hands. He was so muscular it was almost breath taking.
“Yeah sweet girl I bet you do,” He laughed softly, trailing one of his hands down to press against your panty clad clit. You yelped softly, letting out multiple soft moans at the new sensation.
Your body was on fire, lit from the inside out as you gave up and indulged yourself in this new feeling. Your cunt was soaked leaving a dark stain on Leon’s pajamas as he roughly rocked you back and forth.
“God, fuck you’re such a good girl,” Leon grunts out, he was close, with the dry humping and the thoughts of fucking your sloppy cunt until you couldn’t think no more, he was ready to fucking explode. after a few more minutes he’s soaking himself, his pajamas a dark stained mess as he cums all over himself and your pretty panties. He makes a noise that’s almost like a growl as he grips your hip in a bruising hold.
You yelp out at the pain as he is circling your clit in a rough fast pace, you felt like you had to pee, the build up inside of you getting stronger and stronger as he mumbles sweet praises and tells you how he saved you over and over again, rubbing your clit in fast circles.
Finally the coil inside of you snaps as you yell out, a sobbing mess as you twitch and convulse and rut yourself against his big hand. Leon could cum again almost looking at you fuck your wet cunt against his hand.
You were overwhelmed but you couldn’t stop, you were shaking and sobbing at this point as you fuck yourself fast and hard against his hand.
“Baby let’s stop, yeah?” He spoke, pressing his hands on your tummy and back and slowing you to a stop, kissing you on your cheek as he stares at your blissed out face.
Leon Kennedy was a good man, Leon was your savior.
#leon kennedy#tw.dark content#ೃ mars writes !#leon kennedy x reader#leon x reader#resident evil#leon kennedy smut#re2#re4#dead dove do not eat#tw.kidnapping
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Kat, Earth's voice actor.
So, recently Davis spoke out on a situation that came up in The Lunar and Earth Show fandom.
From what I understand, Kat, Earth's voice actor, is receiving a lot of hate, not only against her characters, but also against her for one of the most recent videos.
I never give my opinion so publicly but I think it would be good to show support for Kat.
It's stupid. All those people who come here to talk nonsense about Earth stepping out of her role of being the good and positive one are very stupid.
All or most of the cast have been through morally negative situations. Moon has abused his own brother for many years, and continues to do so. And it seems like the fandom is constantly covering its eyes to ignore this. But hey, Earth can't deny someone a hug because she becomes the mean girl and the worst character ever. Can you see how stupid this argument sounds?
Maybe, I understand that when the character was introduced it got negative reviews. Literally, they never worked with anyone other than Davis or Reed and introducing a new VA was to take you out of your zone. But, continuing to look at Kat in a bad way is the behavior of a child.
You can't expect an amazing story either, guys, specifically this group of people who are attacking Earth so much, you're not paying for a video service. You're not spending a single cent. As far as I know, Davis, Reed and Kat have spent money to maintain quality content day after day. The show has been updated every weekday for over two years.
Kat has done her best to adapt to the audience's tastes, not the other way around. She has done her best not to be an empty character. But the people who attack her don't even bother to see how their characters have evolved positively. Earth has such an empty story because the audience doesn't even pay attention to it.
You can't expect to have an amazing, original story if every time Kat holds the mic you look away. It's stupid.
Kat has been a great support for the story of like three different shows. I think these people who just want to hate something don't realize how boring the show would be without an intervention.
It's a disgusting thought to hate a fictional character just because she's a woman. And it's repulsive to hate a VA for being female. Are you stupid? Because that's the first thing I think if your main argument is "She's a woman, we don't need that"
I'm not a fan of any of the three VAs. I don't like them personally, but I'm going to defend them, especially Kat if they get any hate for this.
You can't put Bloodmoon, who tortured, manipulated, and murdered so many people, on a pedestal and throw trash and hate at Earth just for existing. It's stupid.
I understand if Kat has distanced herself from the fandom and doesn't want to have contact with the audience directly. Just because you are a public figure doesn't mean you have to swallow all the hate and keep smiling. Kat is not just a source of entertainment. She is a human being, who has emotions, thoughts and a limit.
If you have crossed her line, the only thing you can do is step back and leave her alone. No one would like to receive immense amounts of hate because their character is not to everyone's taste.
If you are part of this group of horrible people, I ask you to please leave. I don't want those people here.
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All For The Family - Part I
That was the only part of his job that Brian dislike, even though it was necessary. To justify what he had to do, he told himself those folks deserved it, that they should’ve been more careful with their own bills and the loans they took out, and paid their mortgage right. It wasn’t his fault. He was just there to deliver the truth they were probably expecting anyway. He tried to adopt a “don’t shoot the messenger” attitude while also showing he felt for their situation, even though he still had to do his job. That rarely worked in the two years he’d been doing that gig, and this time was no different. The blonde 24 years old man, rockin' a sharp suit that fit him like a glove on his skinny frame paired with his glasses, he was supposed to look classy and confident. Which clearly didn’t have the intended effect on the crowd he was facing. Standing in front of him with his arms crossed and a look on his face like he just sucked on a lemon was the biggest man Brian had ever seen in his life.
“You gotta understand, Mr. Abernathy, that the promissory note’s overdue again. If you don’t cough up the cash, the bank won’t have any choice but to foreclose and take your land to auction.”
“I get it, kid, but it seems like you’re the one refusing to understand. Tomorrow, I’m getting another hand to help with the harvest, and we’ll pay up all the back dues and even get ahead on a few!”
“Mr. Abernathy… Roy, can I call you Roy?” Brian asked with a smile he hoped was friendly and not showing the frustration he felt at that moment.
“My friends call me Roy, kid; you ain’t my friend.”
Brian let out a sigh at that response and decided to drop the pleasantries, taking a more hard-nosed approach.
“Well, Mr. Abernathy, I hate to break it to you, but if that promise of yours doesn’t pan out, I’m afraid that come the first of next month, you and your family are gonna have to vacate this property.”
“Save your worries for yourself, kid, while you hightail it off my land, ‘cause for now, I’m the one who decides who comes and goes around here.”
“If you weren’t planning on negotiating at all, why’d you make me drive all the way out here?”
“‘Cause there are some things that need to be said and done face-to-face, son.”
“Well, next time, just call me if you got something important to say!”
With a huff, Brian turned his back on the older, muscular man and headed toward the sports car parked behind the big barn that flanked the simple but well-kept farmhouse.
As he watched the kid walk away, unaware of the wave of golden sparks emanating from him, Roy murmured to himself, “Next time we talk, you’ll take whatever I say as important, boy!” He said, flashing a wide grin before turning to a figure that was approaching. “Is it done?” he asked, his smile widening at the answer.
That spat with the Abernathy family patriarch left Brian pissed off. Still, he couldn’t shake the thought that it might be through his work that those folks would lose everything. At the same time, he knew that if it were his older brother knocking on that door, dressed in his cop uniform, the treatment would’ve been a whole lot different. Of course, he could never pull off Lucas's job. Lost in those gloomy thoughts, he took a while to realize that the gas tank he filled up that very morning was nearly empty, and it was only when a beeping alert rang out that he noticed.
“Damn, how is this possible?” he exclaimed to the empty car as he pulled over to the side of the road and weighed his options. Looking at his cell, he found he was out of signal. The nearest town was miles away. The only option left...
“Damn!” he yelled again, getting out of the car and shrugging off his suit jacket, heading toward the Abernathy’s place, wondering what kind of reception he was gonna get. No matter how much empathy he might have started to feel for those folks, it surely wouldn’t be mutual. Halfway to the farm, the already bad situation took a turn for the worse when rain started pouring down, soaking Brian's expensive clothes.
For the first time in his life, he felt like he was being punished by some higher power for doing that job, and he was sure of it when he ran smack into the person he needed but didn’t want to see: Roy Abernathy in all his bulk! He was standing in front of an old Ford pickup, arms crossed again, but this time with a grin that Brian would’ve usually taken for some petty celebration, but at that moment it seemed to him to have more sincerity than he was used to seeing from “clients.” The man was with someone who could only be his son, given the huge resemblance between the two. Those behemoths made for a frightening sight for Brian, leaving him speechless. However, he didn’t even get a chance to speak, as Roy started the conversation for him.
“Looks like you need a little help, son. Where’s your fancy car?”
“I… the gas…”
“Oh, I get it; it’s real reckless to be out here with an empty tank.” The man said, still grinning, and Brian initially felt like he was just saying that to mess with him. But quickly, a small voice in the back of his mind disagreed; the Abernathys weren’t stingy like that. That new, dissenting voice made him hold his tongue and respond more calmly than expected.
“I don’t know what happened; I left town with a full tank. And… I… um… I’ll need some help, yeah.”
“Sorry, son, what was that?”
“I said I need help, if you could… please?!” He replied louder, though he was pretty sure the man heard him.
“Of course I can help, son. Out here, we all pitch in, no matter who you are.” Another jab, and once again something made Brian hold back; he deserved that treatment, the little voice said, and he would take it like a man, like the man he was. Roy smiled again, apparently noticing that the young man was holding back from snapping back.
“Thanks, sir. Now, if you could just follow me to the car and get me some gas…”
“No, son, you’re soaked through. Let RJ and me take care of that; you go to my house and talk to my wife; she’ll get you some dry clothes and a hot meal.”
“I’d rather go to my car…”
“No arguments, kid; do what I said!” Roy replied, his face turning serious.
“I… I… fine!” Brian said, biting back his anger and trudging down the road.
“That one’s a bit rough around the edges.” RJ commented to his dad as he watched Brian walk away.
“Oh, but he’s starting to behave, and there’s nothing wrong with him being a little rough, son, as long as he uses that attitude in the right way…”
“Dad, are you sure? This mumbo jumbo sounds crazy… and the risk we took, messing with that guy’s car. What if he noticed?”
“What are the odds a guy like that knows how to handle a car, Junior? At least for now.”
“Dad, what you’re talking about doing… it’s impossible…”
“Son, you’re gonna have to trust me on this; believe me, it’s already started. Tomorrow at this time, we’ll have the help we need and one heartless drone less in the world.”
“But how? How can you be sure? Have you done this before?” The young man asked.
“No, Junior, I haven’t.” Roy replied, looking quite uncomfortable and avoiding eye contact with his son. “But since you apparently doubt your old man’s word, maybe you should trust your own eyes; take a quick look now, and you’ll see something unique.”
“What the hell? What is that, Dad?” The boy asked, seeing the golden sparks surrounding the man who walked, seemingly unaware of anything strange.
“That, my boy, is the solution to our problems; now hurry up.”
As father and son climbed into the old pickup, an oblivious Brian, unaware of their plans for him, arrived at the farmhouse door. The moment he raised a hand to knock, the door swung open suddenly, and he found himself facing a beautiful woman with bronzed skin and black hair streaked with gray, whose age he couldn’t quite pin down, though he knew she was Abernathy’s wife. The woman looked at him with a warm face that, for some unknown reason, sent a shiver down his spine.
“Well, well, what do we have here? A lost kitten? How can I help you, sugar?”
“Um… I’m sorry, ma’am. I… Mr. Abernathy told me to come here and… hum… change clothes while he looks at my car.”
“You’re soaked, poor thing! Come on in, come on in. I’ll ask Debra to get you some of RJ’s clothes. Be a good boy and wait right here; I don’t want my carpet all wet!” The woman said in a whirlwind, pulling him inside the house and leaving him standing at the threshold. Brian, for his part, had to control himself not to run back out into the rain, as something urged him to get out of that place as fast as possible. Holding himself back, he waited until the woman returned with a young girl about his age, just as pretty as the mother, in a floral dress.
“Debra will take you to RJ’s room; you can dry off and wear some of his clothes until the boys bring your car back. Meanwhile, I’ll whip up some dinner; a big boy like you must eat as much as my husband and son!”
“I… actually…” Brian started, but he gave up announcing his intention to leave as fast as possible upon receiving a look from Mrs. Abernathy that simultaneously showed expectation and reprimand. “Thank you, ma’am.”
“Great, now let’s go, let’s go! You’re soaking my carpet!”
Brian followed Debra up to one of the rooms on the second floor of the house. Upon entering, he was surprised to find it was a double room. Did the Abernathy kids, brother and sister, share the same room?
“I’ve set aside some of RJ’s clothes for you; they might be a bit big, but at least they’re dry.” The girl said, smiling between the two beds in the room. Brian couldn’t help but ask.
“You sleep here with your brother?”
“God, no, eww! That bed’s for my other brother!”
“I didn’t know that… wait… there’s no record of the Abernathys having another kid in the paperwork given to the bank!”
“Shhh… relax; there’s no need to stress about that, it’s not important. You city folks with your data, your records, your… contracts. Life is so much more than that, you know? So why don’t you chill for a bit, dry off, and head down? Dad’s gonna want to talk to you.” The girl replied and left the room, leaving a very confused Brian behind. He was still pondering the family’s strange behavior as he undressed and wondered what the hell Roy Abernathy would want to talk to him about. He wasn’t fooling himself thinking it could be something good for his job, not after the confrontation they had just had.
After drying off and getting ready to put on RJ's much larger clothes, the little intrusive voice invaded his mind again. Whatever Roy had to say was important, and he should listen and obey, just like he always had. Before his mind could fight back against that, a beam of golden sparks emanated from his body, and both the intrusive voice and the need to resist it vanished from Brian's mind. In fact, all thoughts disappeared. He couldn't tell how long he stood there, just breathing, with his mind blank of thoughts or worries.
He only returned to reality when someone caught his attention.
“What are you doing just standing there, brother?” A deep voice asked, startling him awake. Turning quickly, Brian found himself face to face with Abernathy’s son, RJ. He’d only seen him briefly on the road, but now he was just a few inches away. RJ lacked the bulk of his father, but that didn’t mean he was small. On the contrary, he was a strong guy, a year or two older than Brian, with a muscular, hairy chest on display. Looking at that figure, Brian felt a strange sensation wash over him, a kind of bond between him and this stranger; it wasn’t sexual, it was something… brotherly, maybe? He knew he’d felt that before, but couldn’t remember when or with whom. As absurd as it was, it was like this guy in front of him was someone very important.
“Earth to you, bro! Get some clothes on and let’s eat; Dad’s waiting.”
“I… uh… yeah.” Brian replied, hurrying to put on the clothes that were lying next to him.
“You coming?” He asked, wanting to stretch the time spent with the other man, even though he didn’t know why.
“Nah, I already ate; I’m gonna crash here. We’ll talk later and figure out how to fix your car!”
“Car?”
“Dude, you really are in another dimension, eat your food, talk to dad, I’ll be waiting!”
Brian headed downstairs and made his way to the kitchen, not even questioning how he knew which way to go, while trying to pin down that feeling of connection to someone he’d just met. As he reached the kitchen door, he found Roy Abernathy sitting alone at a large dining table piled high with food, looking serious and pensive. Brian instinctively stopped at the door, watching the older man. Strangely, all the animosity he’d felt toward the man had vanished, and revisiting his feelings, even the fear he refused to admit existed was different now; it wasn’t fear of violence, but a hefty dose of respect, with a healthy hint of dread. He didn’t even have time to try to figure out what had changed, as Abernathy spotted him and broke into a smile.
“Come on in and grab a bite, son, don’t just stand there like a deer in headlights!” The man said, and while part of Brian’s mind told him he should be anger by that comment, a now dominant part made him smile shyly and head over to the table.
“Excuse me, sir!” He said politely and respectfully.
“Sure thing, son, make yourself at home; things here are simple but done right.”
“Thanks, sir.” Brian replied, serving himself a bit of everything on the table, ending up with a plate piled high, which seemed to please his host.
“That’s a plate fit for a real man!”
“Sorry, Mr. Abernathy; it all looks so good and…”
“No need to apologize, son; that’s a compliment you’re giving my wife’s cooking. And you can call me Roy. That’s what my friends call me.”
Hearing that sparked something in Brian’s mind, some kind of half-forgotten memory, but no matter how hard he tried, he couldn’t recall it… if he can’t remember it must not be important, right? So, he opted to eat all that delicious food, smiling, again oblivious to the shower of golden sparks surrounding him. But Roy Abernathy couldn’t help but notice, making his smile grow even wider.
Brian devoured the food like he hadn’t eaten in days, time slipping by without him realizing it. He only stopped eating when his belly stretched the elastic of RJ’s shorts, which was no small feat since the man was much stronger than him. Satisfied, he let out a loud burp.
“Burrrpp… sorry, Mr. Abernathy.”
“Once again, that’s a compliment to my wife’s fine cooking, kid; and I already told you, my friends call me Roy.”
“Thanks, Roy… you… you all didn’t have to do this for me, not after… after…”
“After what, son?” Roy asked, with an apparently innocent look.
“After… after…” after what? What did I do to Abernathy? I can’t remember… something about work… my job. “… my job.” Brian mumbled.
“Kid, just ‘cause you’re gonna work for me doesn’t mean I’m gonna stop treating you like a guest.” Roy replied with a smile, sending a shock through Brian’s mind. That information couldn’t be true… or could it? He tried to remember his job, but nothing came to mind; he had gone to college and studied… what? He couldn’t recall. But he knew his job had given him the means to buy the clothes he liked and the car… yeah, his car! There was something about his car.
“And my car…?”
“Oh, right, tomorrow you and RJ can figure out how to fix it. But I gotta tell you, son, there’s only so much an old car can take!”
“Old…? no, no!”
“Oh, I know young folks prefer the term classic, but still… anyway… if I were you, I’d save up for a good reliable pickup, kid! Now head on up; I’m sure you and RJ will want to talk before bed, but tomorrow the day starts bright and early around here.”
“I… I… Roy… there’s something… something…” Brian started as he stood up and headed for the door, unable to finish. He wanted to say there was something weird, something wrong, but he couldn’t.
“Something you wanna tell me, son?”
“Yeah… Mr. Abernathy… Roy…” He struggled to find the right words to express how he felt. “… thanks again!” That was what he finally said, with a fresh wave of golden sparks surrounding him, and any doubt about what he was doing there vanished.
“Thank me with hard work, son; now go to your room.”
Feeling a bit dazed, Brian climbed the stairs and reached the room he shared with RJ. The other man was lying down, apparently asleep, which left Brian feeling a bit down.
He couldn't say why, but he felt the urge to talk to RJ; somehow, he felt like the other man was a special friend he hadn't spoken to in a long time, though that didn't make any sense. He hardly knew the guy; they had barely exchanged words since they met that day... or was it the day his father hired Brian? And when was that? Brian sat on the bed, trying to sort out his thoughts and calm the strange feeling that had taken over him since his car broke down on the road. And why was he on the road if he had gone to the Abernathys to work? He couldn't get very far with those thoughts, as apparently, his movements had woken RJ, who quickly sat up in bed.
“Hey, brother, why didn’t you let me know you were in the room?”
“I didn’t want to wake you; didn’t wanna bother you…”
“Man, it ain’t no bother! We gotta talk about your car, figure out what we’re gonna do!”
“Your dad thinks I should sell it and save up for a pickup!”
“Bro, no way! Dad’s a great guy, but for him, if something ain’t useful for work, it ain’t worth a damn. He’s forgotten what it’s like being a guy our age. And selling a 1969 Ford Mustang? The king of American muscle cars? Only if you’re crazy! I figured with a car like that, you’d know how to appreciate a classic!”
“I… uh… I just didn’t wanna offend your dad, with him being my boss and all…”
“Dude, just be straight with him, and he’ll get it… and forget about the boss stuff… you’re sleeping in his son’s room; you can bet he sees you as more than just an employee.”
“Thanks…” Brian replied awkwardly.
“Come on, enough of that; you’re gonna work with me, hell, you’re sharing a room with me, brother! No need for all that formal junk.” RJ said, grinning before giving Brian a scrutinizing look and asking, “Bro, do you lift?”
“Uh, no… I’ve never been much for working out…”
“So how you ended up working on a farm??”
“Uh… I… went to college… I think, and… I don’t remember…”
“Chill out, brother, I’m just teasing you!But seriously, if you wanna work around here, you gotta pack on some serious muscle.” RJ said, casually scratching his powerful pecs and biceps, making Brian, who had never cared about that kind of thing, feel mesmerized.
“You think… you think I can get as big as you or your dad?” Why was he asking that???
“Ha, dude, nobody’s as big as my dad, and getting to my size is a good journey, but the beauty of the thing is just that, brother; you never settle for the size you are, and I bet with the right training and all the farm work, soon you won’t even recognize yourself.” Hearing that reply filled Brian with a level of contentment he never thought possible.
But before he could try to understand why, RJ went back to talking about cars, and soon the two were discussing their favorite classic models and what they’d do with Brian’s old Mustang. Their conversation flowed like they’d known each other for years and was only interrupted when a very serious Roy Abernathy opened the bedroom door and told the two to hit the hay already, like a couple of mischievous kids being schooled by their dad. Somehow, that thought was comforting to Brian, who quickly fell asleep after Roy turned off the lights and left the room.
He was in a strange place; it looked like a gym. There was a young, skinny but strong guy, as blonde as he was, staring at him. After a few seconds, he realized he was standing in front of a mirror and smiled.
As he dreamed of that, Brian smiled in his sleep on the bed in Roy Junior’s room, his shirt pulled off during the night without him realizing, and golden sparks surrounding him as he moved around happily, unaware that someone was watching him.
“Sleep tight, little brother, ‘cause tomorrow’s when things are really gonna get interesting!”
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a minor analysis of Manepear's manipulation (mane-ipulation)
A few thoughts to frame the discussion: Clownpierce has the mace; Clownpierce has not yet died. Clownpierce doesn't log on very often, and of everyone on the server Clownpierce is closest to Kaboodle.
With that in mind... 1hr 13min into 'A New Leaf..?', after a lot of open honest conversation about the war, morality, honour and Mane's potential as an interior decorator, Kaboodle brings up her constancy towards Clownpierce and Manepear starts telling her she should put herself first, because Clown doesn't.
He starts with the basic, obvious facts: Clown doesn't log on very often, he's never attacked Mane for her, he's never sacrificed himself for her like she has for him. Even... Woogie..? backs him up on all that.
Then she starts bringing up counter-examples and he pushes back, with subtle mis-framings like "it would have been easy for him to say I searched for Mapic on purpose so that I could get back for you" when, like, I saw that video and I bet you did too, he said that to Mapicc, and not to Kaboodle. Or brushing off that time he did fight Mane's team as if there's "10 people he knows he's not going to get targeted and if he gets a kill on Main and Flame that would be huge for him", when, uh, it's not that Mane has specific knowledge that the other group chat was considering jumping Clown for the mace earlier in the day, but I do feel that dynamic is sufficiently common knowledge.
I've actually had this thought before because I thought that he was, I was, I was confident that he was betraying me cuz I was thinking like "why would Clownpierce betray and and use everybody except for me? how does that make any sense? why would I be the only one?" and it doesn't make sense like nothing would make me special
Drawing parallels digs into her fears without him directly saying she's not special so as to elicit sympathy and not offense. (and pay no attention to the dissimilarities in their relationships to clown)
I think it was easy for him to defend you from Subz because he knows that he can kill Subz but if it was me in that situation I'm not so sure if he would he would have done the same thing
(y'know i didn't actually notice at the time that uh that's a very different line than his Subz Glazing to Zam&Mapicc)
Mane: did he leave my alliance or did I force him out? Kab: you did force him out Mane: he didn't have a choice not to choose you Kab: yeah that's a horrible... Mane: [crosstalk] he could have at least shot me a DM—wait! Oh my gosh! I just remembered
Things I did not notice on first listen: sorry, when could he have shot you a DM? When you turned on him?? No, no, that segue makes no sense. Mane absolutely did not "just remember". DMs only came into this because he wanted a segue into: his climactic reveal.
When I was looking for your base, I told him about my, my plan to find you using dogs, and he was telling me how to do it more efficiently.
So. Let's look at [the screenshots that i copied off someone else o7]
The first thing that stood out to me, as I was watching the stream, was this: Mane says "he was telling me how to do it more efficiently", and then he lets Kab stew in that for a bit, and then he sends her these screenshots. The framing is set up. But there is not one line in there that is Clown giving Mane advice on how to track her.
The nearest he gets to advice is "she knows when you do tho". Mane glosses that to Kab as "he was telling me exactly what not to do as well", but listen: look at it. The closest he gets to advice is: maybe don't track her. Maybe you shouldn't even try.
Mane asked "what should I say", he relates it like it's another example of advice, which looks like it could lead to advice, and then the screenshot cuts off. And... it's shorter than the first one. We know for an absolute fact that the height is not limited by, say, the height of the screen. It cuts off there because whatever comes after that does not back up the narrative Mane's selling her.
Laughing about her, saying she's scared: it's emotionally affecting, but it's not actionable information. It does not help Mane find Kab. All it does is give the feeling that Clown is on Mane's side.
After exiting the conversation Kaboodle grieves to chat about it; she starts off thinking of it as"actively telling Mane how to find me is, is..." but a few minutes later she's caught on to "if you look at the messages he's not actively selling me out"; she has prior history of coming back the next day going hang on...
Very interested to see how far she gets with it. That thing with the dogs was streamed live; I watched it. The memory of it tickled at my brain, so after today's ended I tracked it down, and found:
youtube
Clownpierce: Did he find the manepears? What? Kaboodle: So all the manepears teleported to me when they hit, when he hit them. Clown: [AWKWARD LAUGHTER] Kab, fearless: I'm thousands of blocks away, I'm really far away. Clownpierce: Maybe they... they sometimes do move in the direction they teleport to, maybe he knows the location. Maybe - maybe move around.
Clownpierce was DMing Manepear saying "ok good idea"—and then, on a call with Kaboodle, telling her Mane's tactic and what to do about it.
:)
(He doesn't maximally betray Mane, he doesn't tell her he knows Mane's doing that or tell her before it starts happening; there's a degree of trying to stay on both sides. But he isn't neutral, and he is ultimately, materially, on Kab's side.)
I, like Kaboodle, saw Manepear's "removing all netherite" video and really enjoyed it (the twists genuinely surprised me) but there was this doubt where—videos and not streams usually feel this way to me—I wasn't sure whether, to convince the server that he wasn't the guy on his friend's account, he had to actually convince them. I just knew that was a kind of story he wanted to tell, and hoped he'd try it on Lifesteal.
Now, though, I believe it. I've seen maybe two other fandom people even doubting this. I believe he did because I see he can. And oh my goodness I love it.
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finders keepers ⇢ teaser 2
⇢ teaser word count: 948 | full fic: 37.8k total (22.7k & 15.1k) ⇢ genre: sci-fi/science fantasy au, soulmate au, alien!jungwoo, human!reader, slow burn, fluff and angst ⇢ warnings: blood/injury mentions (but like, alien blood, if that makes a difference?), a couple needle/injection mentions, if u get secondhand embarrassment this one might hurt in places, a couple crude jokes about alien stuff iykwim (reader’s friends r kind of the worst), this fic is just a rlly sweet soulmate au i swear idk why these tags look horrendous 😭 ⇢ extra info: this will be released in two parts bc of tumblr’s 1000-block limit that was put in place to hurt me personally :)) BUT both parts will be released on the same day ⇢ estimated release: saturday, november 30, 2024, 3:00 p.m. eastern time (sign up for my taglist here)
The screen of your phone lit up from where it sat on the dashboard of Jungwoo’s spaceship, and you immediately grabbed it. It was Donghyuck, and at this point, you would’ve taken your bestie ‘SPAM LIKELY’ to get you out of here.
“Hey, it’s Hyuck, you got it here?” You asked Jungwoo, already on your feet.
“Yes, I’ll be okay,” Jungwoo confirmed, eyes momentarily leaving the screen to meet yours.
You clambered out of the hatch with haste, taking off into the trees. Hastily sending Donghyuck a text that you’d call him back in a minute, you practically bolted back up the cliffside to get to the road before doing just that.
Hyuck picked up before it could even ring once, not wasting any time, “Hey, how’s our pet alien?”
“He has a name,” you retorted, still out of breath.
“He doesn’t seem to mind when I call him that.”
“He probably doesn’t understand how derogatory it could be. His language might not have a direct equivalent for the concept.”
“Yeah, whatever, how is he?”
“Fine. All of his wounds have healed.”
Your friend’s tone immediately shifted. “You sound weird. What’s going on?”
“Nothing!” You insisted.
“Y/N.”
“Promise not to tell anyone?”
“Sure.”
And so after explaining your situation to Donghyuck to the best of your ability, you waited with bated breath for his response.
“Oh my God, he’s going to lay his eggs in you,” he gasped.
“Hyuck! Gross!” You hissed, half-ready to hang up right then.
“I’ve seen enough alien movies to know where this is going.”
“Or watched too much weird porn.”
“You didn’t laugh at my joke, clearly you’re in crisis, sorry.” His apology sounded sincere.
You sighed, staring down into the trees below you that you knew contained a spaceship and spaceman that weren’t from here, that didn’t belong here. “I mean, he’s still fixing his ship to leave…”
“What if he plans on abducting you and taking you with him?”
“Stop it!” You scolded him again. “Jungwoo wouldn’t do that.”
“You seriously think he’ll just leave his mate behind?”
“You are way too comfortable saying that word.”
“This is not about my nighttime proclivities.”
“If I told him to, yeah, I think he would. He’s been super respectful, all things considered.”
“Okay… whatever…”
You were worried. Jungwoo had continued fixing his ship, but with each passing day, you swore he was looking worse again. He said his wounds had completely healed inside and out, but the pallor of his skin didn’t look right, he was moving slower again, and he didn’t eat as much at meals. You took a risk and took him there during the day today, not wanting to risk drawing out his stay on Earth any longer than necessary.
Just getting him down to the ship today was perilous, as he tripped going down the last of the hillside. A rock had cut his arm, thankfully not very deep, but the sight of the deep blue blood did nothing to calm your anxious mind. He let you take a second to use a first aid kit in the ship on him, but then was right back to business as usual, fixing his ship.
“How’s it coming along?” You asked, hovering over him worriedly as he sat on the floor, working on a panel under the control console.
“It’s almost done,” he informed you quietly.
“Jungwoo, you don’t look okay.”
“I’m fine.”
“Is it the hydrogen? Or something else that you can’t get on Earth?” You went to press the back of your hand to his forehead. It was sticky with sweat, but simultaneously cold and clammy. “Shit, dude, you feel awful.”
“I’m—I’ll be fine.”
“Are you sure?”
“Yes, I just need to get back to-to Galaria.”
“Okay, yeah,” you nodded. “Let’s get you back. You said it’s almost done. What else do you need?”
“One of your friends is a mechanic?”
“Yeah, Yuta. He fixes cars.” You were slightly alarmed that he apparently couldn’t remember which one.
Jungwoo held out a long, thin black tube to you. “Could you ask him if he has something like this? Twice as long?”
“Of course! I'll go right now!” You took the tube from him. “You stay right here. Rest, okay?”
He nodded, leaning against the panel and shutting his eyes.
You ran into Yuta’s auto shop, skidding to a stop and nearly crashing into a bench and toolbox, drawing the attention of everyone in the shop. Every head whipped over to look at you, and Yuta pushed himself out from under a truck on the far side of the shop.
“Yuta!” You dashed over to him, ignoring the attempts at conversation from his coworkers as you ran by them.
“Off-limits, assholes!” Yuta yelled back at them before focusing on you again, grabbing a rag to wipe his hands off. “Y/N, what are you doing here?”
“It’s Jungwoo, he needs something like this, but double the length.” You held the tube out to him. “Do you have anything like it? I’ll pay for it.”
Yuta inspected it with a furrowed brow, and you dropped your voice even lower as the sounds of the auto shop rose again.
“Please, he’s-he’s really not doing well. I don’t know how much longer he can be here, Yuta. Something about Earth, it’s not good for him. I’m really worried.”
“Yeah, I would be if I were you.” Yuta handed the tube back to you, then crossed his arms over his chest. “I gave him a part just like that two days ago. He said it was the last piece he needed.”
“What?!” Your heart fell to the pit of your stomach.
“I gave him a new brake hose two days ago. Unless he blew it up again, this isn’t it.”
“I’ve got to go.” You took off towards the door of the garage. “Bye, Yuta! Thanks!”
“See you around!”
TEASER TAGLIST
@bee-the-loser @ppddpjdr @tearinka @yoursyuno @yutasputa69 @winkeuu
#jungwoo x reader#nct x reader#jungwoo#jungwoo imagine#nct imagine#nct#kim jungwoo#jungwoo imagines#nct imagines#f: finders keepers#writing#text#mine#wooloved#bias tag
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I want to talk about a situation that happened when I was a kid, and even though this particular instance did not traumatize me (that I know of), it still deals with traumatic themes, such as physical abuse, attempted murder and severe neglect, so be careful if you're reading on! I'll explain at the end why I'm talking about it, and also psychoanalyze what I think was going on.
When I was about 6-9 years old, I had a strong conviction that my father was going to kill me. He would lock me into the basement and hurt me, and even though the injuries weren't lethal, I could feel the intent, he was out of control, not watching where he was hitting, if he was going to break my bones or not, it was erratic, terrifying. I love how I prefaced this with 'oh this didn't traumatize me' and then I started with that, but it's just the context to the actual story. That first part did probably traumatize me, I remember little of it.
Since I felt that my life was in peril, I decided, logically, that I needed to kill him before he kills me. It was justified I would defend my life with all I had. So I sneaked into the basement room, and searched for something that I could use for a weapon, next time he shuts me in there. I found one, memorized where it was, and then I was ready.
It came soon after, the event of me being alone with him in the basement, him out of control, attacking me, and again, I felt like I was about to be killed. So I grabbed a metal pole hidden next to the fireplace, used my full strength and hit him on the head with it. He fell down, and stopped moving.
I panicked then. He looked dead. I let myself out of the basement (I knew where the key was) and yelled for mother, telling her that I killed him, but I had to, because he was going to kill me. When we got back to where he was lying down, blood was trickling out of his nose. But my mother wasn't panicking like I was, she could probably see him breathing. Then he sat up.
I was even more scared then, because if he wasn't dead, then he knew I just tried to kill him, and would come after me even worse. But he didn't. He didn't even look at me. He wiped his nose, seeming completely calm, rage from before completely gone, talking only to the other family members, who seemed concerned about him.
I was told, that it's good for me that I didn't kill him, because had I done that, I would have been imprisoned for murder for the rest of my life. And other than that, everyone ignored me. Nobody talked to me, or had anything to say about the entire event. Father ignored me as well. I was not punished. Nobody was even mad at me. Nothing else was done.
The 'you'll go to prison forever if you kill him' line worked on me, because I didn't know the law, I didn't know that we don't incarcerate little kids; I was underage. They lied to me. So next time when he got me close to that feeling of 'I'm about to be murdered', I had no way to defend myself. If I killed him I would go to prison. I had no choice but to just let him do whatever and not retalliate in any significant way. Sad and painful.
Thinking back later on this event, it was bewildering to me that I was not punished whatsoever for a murder attempt, despite getting punished for bullshit like 'talking back' or 'having an unpleasant face expression'. This was common; I could be severely punished for leaving a door open, but when I did something big, like hurt a sibling, or threaten someone, or hit my father with a metal pole in the head, there was no consequences whatsoever, nobody would have even talked to me about it. I wondered if this was just because they loved that shit, they loved watching me grow into the same violent, brutal and sadistic person they all were, because then they could go 'you're no different than us', and be right. But, unlike them, once I knew something I did hurt another person, I wouldn't do it again; I did horrible things just because I was a kid, and all adults around me were horrible, and I mimicked them, as kids do. They wouldn't punish me for mimicking their awful behaviour because they approved of that, and they didn't care if my siblings were hurt because they loved hurting children anyway.
This also reinforces the theory that punishment is just an excuse to hurt a child, because these were the legitimate reasons to invoke consequences, but they never did, punishments were dished out when they felt like torturing someone and at that point, any face expression could have been an excuse enough. They didn't care about raising a kid or teaching them right and wrong, it was all just self-serving acts of sadistic pleasure.
But to let a murder attempt fly? I thought about it more today, and realized that maybe, they were shocked I did that. Maybe it was an unpleasant surprise to find out, that under severe stress, I would make an attempt at their lives. Maybe finding out that I just tried to kill one of them, made them not want to immediately try and do more violence to me. Maybe they were concerned that I injured their family member, and were more preoccupied with that. Maybe the logistics of 'this child just attempted to kill someone' made them slightly less secure in their 'beating children is normal and good' culture, maybe it signaled to them that beating children could be, in fact, a little dangerous. Of course this didn't make them not wanna do it, they just needed to persuade the child to take it and not retalliate, thus 'you'll go to prison if you do that', and afterwards they felt comfortable again, sure that justice is on their side. To make things more sinister, beating children was not even illegal in my country during that time, so what they were doing to me wasn't punishable by law. But if I retalliated, I was a criminal, according to them.
Hitting children did become illegal by the time I was 9, but conveniently nobody bothered informing me, and I would live many more years in belief that violence towards me was normal, necessary and completely legal, hell I believed that even killing me was legal, because everyone was acting like it very much was and were threatening it left and right.
So the reason I'm thinking about this event, is that I just got some great news. My father has colon cancer. He's currently hospitalized about it. I don't know what stage it is, but the mortality rate for it is high. He might die. He might die.
I am overjoyed. I am hopeful, I am thrilled, I could not be more happy about this. What I started with that pole in the basement, might get finished. If he dies I am free. If he dies, my version of what happened is the only one to exist. I would be safe.
I think my reaction is interesting. Because I know other victims of abuse feel some sort of grief, some sort of pain and guilt for their sick or dying abusers, especially when they're parents, because of the parental bond, and trauma bonding, and victims generally having a lot of empathy and humanity towards abusers. Not me! Apparently my father managed to never even develop the basic parent-child bond with me, and I was ready to kill him by the time I was 6. What kind of shitbag human do you have to be so that your small child tries to kill you with a metal pole and when they hear you're dying, it's the best news of their life? That's such inhumane stuff that all my basic child instincts of attaching to my caretakers got overwritten by the necessity of protecting my life. You did it so badly you messed with human DNA there! Biological instincts voted against your parenthood! Self defense murder was invoked against you. You are ruled out as a bad parent and a life threat by my tiny child instincts.
#tw violence#tw physical abuse#tw child abuse#tw murder attempt#tw assault#abusive parents#toxic parents
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i don’t tend to read de-aging fics personally but i do think it would be a crazy read to have one of the children de-aged to infancy. i’m talking fresh outta the oven, 1-3 months max kind of Little.
any of them would absolutely make bruce lose his mind because for all his children and the house of family that he holds, he has only handled babies very briefly and in usually dire situations of rescue. not all the time — the leaguers have kids, the rich neighbor has a new baby etc i’m sure there’s comics i’ve yet to get my hands on about bruce and a whole baby moment — but there is a marked difference between “baby you have for like maybe an hour and don’t have a specific attachment to” and “baby you are now fully responsible for as the primary caretaker and also that was your now-adult son who you have never seen younger than age 12.”
and i think for all of bruce’s violence. all of his crusade and the mission he’s possessed by, all the things he’s done or said to any of his kids (and there are many marks against him), he would be so struck in awe of the tiniest body in his arms. the smushed wrinkly ugly baby face. the soft — and not so soft — noises, the hand that automatically latches on to one of his fingers when he offers, and bruce wayne is in shambles thinking of both the knowledge of what this baby is to grow up to be and endure, but also that there is something so reverential about seeing them right at the start of their lives. He didn’t even get that with damian.
#bruce wayne#batman#batfam#i do think there’d be a bit of grief there. for being unable to stop what is to come.#bruce is flawed in many ways and i’m not interested in taking any of that away from him#but maybe it would make him feel genuine remorse for the hand he had in some of the things this tiny baby would have to live through#(and in jason’s case - die through)#i don’t know if it would change much about him. he’s still bruce and still batman and each have their demons#but i do think it might be fun to read
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saw a post on here that i dont want to be negative on and detract from but it made me realize that yeah. my parents would choose their faith over their child. and have. neither of them said i love you or goodbye the day i came out, after i wrote a big long letter to them explaining more about my gender and bisexuality, in which i compared being trans to the stress of being a moth when everyone expects you to be a butterfly, my father told me i had “better be celibate or else i’d not only be a moth but a dirty one too.”
and it is hard to look past the hurt of this sometimes and realize that it is just cruelty. they are so rigid about god they would rather bring the hammer on their own suffering child than examine their own belief system and admit maybe they were wrong. or at the very least, learn something.
but my mother told me once she was “too old to learn something new” and my father has been very consistent and open about the order of priorities in his life, which he has constantly repeated are “#1 God, #2 Family, #3 Self” but it is of my opinion in being this way to his own child he has actually chosen to put Self before all, because he would rather not violate his own invented priorities than extend empathy for his child. Because in his set of priorities, to do so would violate #1, and to violate this set of priorities harms no one but himself.
but why do I call such priorities invented? Isn’t that the rule we are taught in our faith? Well in my faith I learned that God is imminent within everything. So this hierarchical priority list sets a false expectation of reality that simply doesn’t exist. Why must every situation in life default to this hierarchy? Why must your expression of love be tiered? Why would you rather conform to this tiered and hierarchical structure that suppresses those you love underneath others than understand that each gives equal and unique value and is shifting priority at different times? Not only that, but to venture out of this constructed hierarchy for two seconds to examine other aspects of our faith that say that God is in our words and our actions, and thus by merely holding the intention in your heart with words you say and actions you do you can actually still prioritize him at all times without subjugating others beneath him.
But what do I know? I wasn’t raised by these same staunch Christians or anything. I certainly don’t know that hierarchies of power thrive on fear and that in fact these actions of cruelty to your family and children, in this model, are actually expressions of love. Because if you don’t conform to God’s expectations, then you don’t get into heaven, so anyone who tries to quash any sense of nonconformity out of you is actually looking out for the best interest of your soul. It is hard to explain to someone who has built an entire lifetime on fear of being punished that their actions of cruelty are not expressions of love.
When my parents hit me as a child, this was not an expression of love. This was an expression of power and fear. I had done something wrong that I didn’t know better and from their worldview the only way to “teach” me correctly would be to make me suffer a corporeal punishment. This did nothing but make me fear and distrust them. This did nothing but drive extreme distance between us, and yet my parents would call these expressions of love. Because I was learning the proper way to behave. And not only this, but this understanding of discipline is indeed false, because I work with young children every summer and never once have had to even think about raising a hand to them to get them to understand. These priorities are the same.
Their actions were cruelty. It’s as simple as that. They were disrespectful and unkind, and they drove the final wedge that made me understand that they would rather hang tightly on in fear to the expectations of their own faith than share joy with me at my hypothetical gay wedding. And why would I do them the disservice of inviting them to such an event, an event that may ask them to compromise their own values, when I already know what path they have chosen? Perhaps the expression of love to them, then, is keeping them away. But I do wonder if they’d still feel this way if they weren’t invited to my wedding.
When I was 18 and going into college my mom told me that “my beliefs were very strong, and to never do anything that compromised my values.” And I never have. I never have.
#current mood#christianity#religion#they’re just miserable people#i saw them for dinner yesterday and i dont think my mom smiled once#truly i think part of why my dad prioritizes god over family is because he’s not happy with my mother#and so he spends all his time away from home doing charity etc#but thats an entirely different discussion#their faith has ruined their lives i really do think
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The Axe - Chapter 3 (Part 1)
Okay so I've done a lot of art recently, but as I've mentioned to some other people I want on a vacation for my anniversary so I'm back, I'm refreshed, and I was able to sit down and write the next part of The Axe. This fic is always super fun and interesting. I know medieval fantasy is always a turn off for me, so I don't expect many people to enjoy it, but I do think the world building in here is pretty impressive. Let me know what you think!
If you don't want to wait for the whole fic to be published over the next couple of days, check out my KoFi HERE
By the way, the whole fic is 24 pages size 10 Times New Roman. Full fic is about 11.3k. This is a long thing.
TW: mention of alcohol, public execution, gore description of corpse, religious figures
Wordcount: 6k
Art from This Post
Story Below the Cut
Behind The Dew You Sing To Me
You’d never been keen on execution wakes before, but today was different. Today, you wanted to see if you could learn more about the great hooded man with that glinting, silver axe. A part of you was afraid to so much as offer to help your uncle, but another part of you was too excited to stop yourself.
“You want to come to a hanging?” your uncle stared at you in bewilderment, “a hanging? Have you lost your gourd?”
“Uncle, I know what I want,” you sighed again, “I want to come with you. You only just got out of bed, you need someone to help you there.”
“I don’t need that much help,” your uncle snorted, “I’ll be just fine. You can stay back and do some work here. Buns need to be made for Halaxwake.
“But you need rest, uncle,” you chastised him again, “you have to rest just a little bit, right? Auntie would never forgive you if you got sick all over again.”
“She wouldn’t, nor would she forgive me if I came home empty-handed!” your uncle chuckled before glancing at you with a mischievous look in his eye, “why, you’re so eager to go I might think you’re looking to meet someone there!”
Your face flushed a violent crimson as you spluttered and coughed.
Your uncle hummed, “You really do like to get yourself into all the worst situations, dear. If I didn’t know better, I might even say you were looking to see a certain shrouded man! Maybe even, dare I say it, a certain mysterious hangman?”
You shamefully turned away as your uncle laughed.
“You think you’re so slick, don’t you!” your uncle’s grin was woven into his words, “I’d bet you really thought I didn’t know any better!” he calmed his laughter momentarily to heave the last load of loaves into the wagon. He took a moment to lean against the side and cross his arms over each other, shoulders back as he stood tall in the crisp air. You glanced back to see him admiring you with his wise grey eyes, “Come with me. If you’re anything like me or your father, I wouldn’t be able to stop you, anyways.”
Your blush hid behind your wide grin as you walked over to stand beside your uncle. He hoisted the wagon up and looked at you, casting you a wry wink before pushing the wagon forth along the dusky dirt road.
Your uncle pushed the wagon along the road, his eyes straight ahead as he hummed a gentle off-pitch lullaby under his breath, one you’d heard your auntie sing to your cousins. You walked beside him, admiring the wild poppernickins as they grew in bundles of little white and pastel orange-pink blooms along the fence posts on either side of the road. Occasionally, the flowers were overtaken by winds of orange-brown twineweed that snaked up the wooden posts and curling along the fencing. It interwove onto itself, making intricate patterns formed in the ivy under wilted papery white flowers. You figured that soon the farmers would be collecting the pollen for the Hanndoal’s-Turn harvest. You smiled at the thought, memories smelling of bright fruit coated in syrups and the taste of old brew ghosting through your mind.
“You think Ernest’ll have another batch of wink ready for this harvest?” your uncle interrupted your thoughts.
You turned to look at your uncle and blinked, “Wink? Um, I don’t know. Maybe.”
“I hope so,” your uncle smiled, “I think Ernest’s wink always tastes the best, but don’t tell Leonard I said that.”
“I don’t think he can bring his head out of his ass long enough to hear you,” you snorted.
Your uncle laughed and shook his head, “Your mother said much the same, back when she was around. She never liked the Buscher clan, really.”
“Why’s that?” you asked.
Your uncle kicked a stone out from underfoot, “She thought they were all pompous pricks. Thought they knew everything there was to know about gourds and squashes and the like, but they were all the sourest things you ever did chew on.”
You laughed, “That sounds like my mother alright! She knew what she was talking about.”
Your uncle shook his head, “Oh if you think they’re sour now then you should’ve been around for the older Buscher. That old tyrant grew gourds sour enough to pinch your lips clean off. Horrible things, really.”
“And here I thought Leonard was the worst farmer in the village,” you hummed.
“Leonard’s a right gem compared to his father,” your uncle said, “his father was a right good-for-nothing. You couldn’t talk to him for longer than a vigil before he’d go off about how we were bound to be under the rule of elves if we didn’t prepare for ‘the rise up’ or whatever he called it.”
“The elves?” you rolled your eyes, “I’ll admit, I might say he was right if I didn’t know better.”
“But you do,” your uncle pointed out, “we all know the elves won’t ever try to take over the continent. They’re the best warriors you ever did see, sure, but they’re not that bright. And anyways, they ain’t as evil as he made ‘em out to be, but you already know that yourself. Elves are all just a bunch of bastards with egos big enough to blot out Brak-Hah’s-Eye. And anyways,” your uncle smirked, “they still don’t know how to make any sort of good drink. They need us for a good party.”
You laughed and nodded along. If nothing else, you supposed humans had that going for them. You weren’t called ‘The Joyful Children’ for nothing.
You walked along beside the cart as it squeaked and jostled over the stones littered across the dirt road. It seemed to whine over each and every pebble it overcame as it was pushed closer and closer to where the bodies swung in the breeze. Just the thought of the place had chills crawling up your spine. How anyone was able to endure living in that forest of corpses was beyond you. But then again, most of The Axe’s life was a mystery to you. You’d never even seen the man’s face before.
The Axe was a man hidden in a shroud darker than the one he wore upon his face. He was a strange, curious thing made up of flesh, stolen bones and misplaced teeth. He was walking death through a field of corpse flowers. He was the peace made between a dying man and his maker. He was hatred and rage and bloodshed held within a porcelain vase. All of him was drenched in criminal blood, and yet his eyes were blue as a newborn’s.
This strange man had taken a place in your life unlike any other. No man stood with you when you kneaded the bread for the next wake, but he watched over your shoulder and asked about the herbs and spices you tossed into your mixes. He walked with you when you went to church, an invisible shadow by your side at all times. These past two god watches, when you went to church, you would look down at the stone tiles and wonder if The Axe sat below, a doomed man listening to the words of something floating ever beyond his grasp. Innocent eyes trained on the glowing light coming from beyond an iron grate. You wished you could sit beside him.
Your uncle trod along beside you, blithely ignorant to any of your personal quandaries. He bullishly pushed the cart forward, ignoring its groans of protest. His stone-grey eyes were trained ahead, never wandering from their final destination.
“Uncle,” you asked quietly.
“Yes dear?” your uncle replied with a curious lilt to his tone.
“Do you think that The Axe is a bad man?”
Your uncle hummed slowly. He adjusted his grip on the wooden handles of the cart as sweat bloomed up on his rosey forehead. He took a moment to stop and wipe his hairy forearm over his face, then shook himself clear and picked up the handles again.
As he began to push the cart again, he said, “I think he comes from a cursed line.”
“But is he cursed?” you asked.
Your uncle chuffed, “Oh he’s cursed alright. Cursed by a little girl.”
You screwed your brows tightly together, “Cursed by a little girl?”
Your uncle nodded solemnly.
“Cursed by a little girl,” he confirmed, “I heard it happened when he was sixteen, right after his father went out into the woods and offed himself. I can’t remember the details, but the basic idea of the story is that an execution went south and the man’s daughter cursed The Axe. What the curse is? I don’t know, and don’t you go and listen to anyone who says they do. Nobody does,” your uncle gave an affirmative nod, “but he’s cursed for sure. He sees the witch, the apothecary and Father Kim to treat whatever it is, but I’m betting that as long as that hood’s on his face, he’s a marked man.”
You shivered at the thought.
“I’m sad to hear it,” you said quietly.
“Well, that’s life when you’re a killer-for-hire,” your uncle chuffed, “you need to be prepared for those sorts of things. And,” he paused briefly to glance at you, “if you really wanted to get close to a man like that, you’d have to be ready for those sorts of curses being turned on you.”
You glanced away from the cart to look at more of the tangleweed fencing.
“I know,” you admitted, “but… I can’t help it.”
“The heart wants what the heart wants,” your uncle sighed, “I know I can’t stop you. If I were a nobleman, maybe I could marry you off to some prince from another land. As it is,” your uncle shrugged, “all I can do is warn you. I’d tell you to stop, but I’m not your father, am I?”
You grimaced, “No, but you’re a better father than mine.”
“You’re speaking of my brother-in-law, you know,” your uncle huffed, “but,” he adjusted his grip, “you’re right. My sister’s husband wasn’t exactly the best sort of man. I always thought he was a bit immature, but what he did when your mom died? I still can’t fathom it.”
You nodded and admitted, “I sometimes wonder what it would’ve been like if he stayed.”
“You’d be a farmer’s daughter,” your uncle said, “so if you prefer the fields to the ovens, maybe it would’ve been better if he stayed.”
“I like the ovens well enough,” you chuckled, “I’d rather Auntie in my ear than getting my legs cut off by a scythe.”
“You heard old Martin got it good last turning-time, did you?” your uncles winced.
“Old Hutch told me it was a nasty wound,” you nodded, “he had to send him to The Axe for further treatment.”
“At least with The Axe around he can mend some of the worst wounds we get,” your uncle mused before a scowl dawned his face, “mind you, he only knows to heal as many wounds as he gives out.”
The thought of The Axe’s words from your last visit rang through your ears.
“I don’t think he likes hurting anyone though,” you said.
Your uncle shrugged, “Doesn’t matter if he likes it or not, he’s a torturer and an executioner by trade. That’s enough for me to make up my mind.”
“But can he really be anything else?” you asked as you stepped around a particularly large stone.
Your uncle shook his head, “As I said, he comes from a cursed line. His blood is tainted by generation on generation of curse. I’d be surprised if he can even sow another line if he tried with you.”
“Don’t be so crass,” you huffed.
“What?” your uncle chuckled, “it’s not like he’s got much to give any son of his. An old axe and a sorry story? I don’t think I’d want to be born to that, if you ask me.
“And anyways, would you want to give birth to any son of his?” your uncle asked you.
You thought for a moment. The thought of being a mother was always there; it was expected of you since birth. You were raised to be a mother much like any other young girl in the village. You were given dolls to care for and stories to lull your newborn to bed before you’d reached your third cycle. Being a mother and a homesteader was just what being a woman in the village meant. That was life. You’d never really paid too much thought to it. If anything, you didn’t even know if you’d ever take a husband. Sure, one day it would happen, but you never put much thought into it. Already most girls your age were married off with a troop of children around their hips. You were a bit of an outlier by now. But, the thought of having a husband and child comforted you at the very least. One day, soon enough, it would happen.
But you hadn’t thought of having children with The Axe. By the spirit realms, you hardly even knew what his face looked like! For all you knew, he was the ugliest man you’d ever lay your eyes on in your life. He could have a rotting face, for all you knew. And yet… The thought of a child with him didn’t sound half bad. It was a thought you’d have to play around with more after you’d gotten to know him better.
“You’re thinking of it now, aren’t you?” your uncle groaned, “by Halax, I shouldn’t have even said his name. I shouldn’t be talking about him with you at all!”
You rolled your eyes at that, “Well, you want to warn me, don’t you?”
“I’ve warned you plenty!” your uncle scoffed, “I keep telling you he’s bad news but you won’t have any of it!”
“I’m having some of it,” you retorted, “just not all of it.”
“Well go on and have some more because I’ve got plenty to give!” your uncle shook his head, “I mean, look, I can’t change your mind. Go and talk to Father Kim if you’re really interested in that man. Father Kim seems to know him best, at least. And if a holy man thinks that it’s a good idea, who am I to judge?”
“So you give me your blessing?” you asked hopefully.
Your uncle sighed, “Not now.”
“But maybe soon?” you prodded.
“Maybe,” your uncle conceded, “but not anytime soon. I still don’t even know the man.”
“But haven’t you given him his rations for years?” you asked quizzically.
“I have,” your uncle explained, “but he isn’t much of a talker. He’s a bit spooky, actually. He’s so quiet I might think he was a louse.”
Your thoughts drifted to when you ate sweet buns together in the forest again.
“I think he just needs some encouragement to talk,” you offered.
“You’ve chatted to him plenty, have you?” your uncle grumbled.
You flushed, “I’ve spoken to him in passing.”
“In passing,” your uncle drawled.
“In passing!” you bristled up.
“Calm yourself, you prickly little poke bear,” your uncle laughed, “you’re acting like a schoolgirl here!”
“I am not!” you huffed.
“You keep telling yourself that,” your uncle smiled knowingly, “you’re only digging a deeper hole for here.”
“I-” you cut yourself off, “I don’t need to hear any of this. I’m better than this.”
“Are you now?” your uncle cackled, “look, your father isn’t here. Somebody has to act the part while he’s gone.”
“And that person has to be you?” you grumbled.
Your uncle gestured to the wide open fields around you, “Who else do you see?”
You bit your tongue harshly. He had you there.
Your uncle laughed as he carted the wagon along the trail, happily poking fun at your ‘schoolgirl crush’ and your youth as he made his way along the old road. You, for your part, flushed up to your poor mortified ears and stayed that way for the rest of the journey. Your uncle took endless delight as he moved the cart along. With a sigh, you accepted fate and walked behind your uncle.
Your uncle only calmed his laughter once you broke through the forest. The cart caught on tangled weeds as you travelled down the lonesome road to the old hanging stone. The trees were thick enough to cast a haunting shade over the two of you. In woods like these, a highwayman could be hidden behind any tree. Suddenly, you were terribly glad to have your teasing uncle by your side. Even if he was an older man, he still had a good bread knife tied to his belt. You had your own little dagger, but your uncle was a seasoned man with a quick draw. It wasn’t much, but anything was better than giving in to whatever the highwaymen demanded.
Your uncle huffed and puffed as he pushed the wagon along the overgrown road. You only knew to follow the path because the trees had been artificially cleared generations before you, leaving a winding trail that snaked erratically through the woods. Evidently, the wood cutters had only cut through the easiest trees, unable to move the monoliths that stood along the edges of the waxing and waning road. In some parts, the wagon only just barely squeezed through the gaps in the trees. You wondered how any of the large carriages were able to make their way through the trees when they already pressed down on you, crushing you like insects under their wild thumb.
Ferns and flowers peeked from behind the old woods to wave in the passing wind. You watched Brak-Hah’s-Eye blink in and out above between the tall pines as you walked along. As you drew further and further into the woods, you felt the chill of shadows creeping up along the back of your neck.
You were blinded when you broke into the bright opening of the Criahlin’s stone. The black slate shone, polished of blood and grime to prepare for the coming day. Around the edge of the circle, stalls had been set up to welcome in any visitor in need of a sweetlin or a swintlin. Someone had set up a stall to shine shoes, another gave out bags of grain for cart beetles. You couldn’t help but be amazed by how so many were able to come and capitalize on the death of a criminal.
Already, a group of townsfolk had gathered around a large loch tree on the far edge of the clearing. Beside it, a long ladder had been placed, leading up to a long twineweed rope. You followed the rope up, up and up to a thick and heavy tree bough. It looked as thick as a man, but it had been cut off after a couple of lengths to prevent the tree from covering up the entire clearing. You had to wonder how often someone had to go up and trim it back to keep it from taking up the whole space.
By the bottom of the tree, Judge Holten sat on one of the large roots that jutted up from the loamy earth. Beside him, Father Kim looked out over the crowd, lips pressed into a thin line. His dark eyes darted side to side as he took in the familiar faces of his congregation. You wondered what he thought of you all.
In the stall nearest to you, you could see Nikto sitting and watching the crowd with an amused look in his eyes. By his side, bottles of eggs, vegetables and even meats were put on display with delicate care. He glanced over your way and waved at you and your uncle.
“Ah, friends!” he called out, “come take the stall beside me!”
Your uncle waved back and brought the cart as close as he could. When he stopped the cart by Nikto’s stall, the old northern man rose to his feet to help you and your uncle set up your display.
You worked quickly with the extra set of hands. A few times Nikto stopped to help your uncle set up his display in a more appealing way. You laughed at the sight, but thanked him nonetheless. Halax knew that your uncle needed the help.
“No no no,” Nikto grumbled as he took the spider buns from your uncle, “put these on the middle shelf. They’re cute and sweet, so people will see them better if you put them there. And put the smallest buns on top! Trust me on this, old man.”
Your uncle followed the other man’s words, albeit a bit begrudgingly. But who were you to argue with Nikto? All his displays were immaculate. Even the products themselves were made so perfectly that you couldn’t stop salivating at the sight of them.
“How do you know how to make everything look so nice?” you wondered as you followed his guidance.
“Secret tips from my mother back home,” Nikto’s eyes crinkled behind his wooden mask, “mother always knows best, you know?”
You faltered briefly before flashing a wide smile, “Well, I’ll have to take your word for it.”
Nikto shook his head, “Mothers never leave their children, Criah doesn’t work that way. We always have our families with us.”
You smiled softly, “You think so?”
Nikto laughed heartily, “I know so! Mother never left. She’s always here,” Nikto thumped his chest before he leaned in conspiratorially, “and that’s how I know your uncle can’t set up a stall to save his life!”
You groaned but couldn’t hold back a laugh. Nikto was an odd man, but at least he was always a fun person to share company with. You shook your head and turned back to your stall.
“Well, it looks like we’re about ready to start selling,” you said as you admired the hard work.
“Can you manage the till?” your uncle asked.
“Are you offering to do the calling?” you replied.
Your uncle nodded and pointed over to the other stalls, “It looks like we don’t have much competition today.”
You glanced over at Nikto.
“My goods are meant to be brought home,” he shrugged, “not eaten here. Yours are better for the show.”
Right, the show. That was certainly one way of putting it.
“I can handle the crowds,” you told your uncle.
“Right then,” your uncle nodded, “I’ll head out and get to hawking.”
You watched your uncle walk out in the crowd, puff up his chest and call out in a big, booming voice. On que, a few customers eagerly turned and looked around before finding your stall and rushing forth. You didn’t understand how anybody was able to eat during these events, but evidently you were the odd one out.
Before long the line had formed and you were up on your feet exchanging coins for sweet and savoury buns. To your delight, a few customers immediately left your line to go over to Nikto’s stall to pick up some jars of his pickled goods. Nikto was never quite as popular, but having the top-selling stall beside him evidently did something for his numbers. A part of you wondered if he’d thought about this when inviting you over, but another part couldn’t care less. You were shopkeepers just the same as he was; you had to do whatever it took to make a good living in a small town.
As the townsfolk came and left your stall, you did your best to focus on them rather than on the absence of the most prominent figure at the event. Wherever you looked, The Axe was notably absent. Of course you already knew where he was. He was probably bringing the poor victim to the gallows at that very moment. You knew the ritual well enough by now.
The executioner would go to the prison and then pick out the culprit. Then, the culprit would be carted to the outskirts of the forest, at which point The Axe and his victim would be dropped off and The Axe’s assistant would drive the cart back to the Axe’s home. Then, the Axe and his assistant would both make their way to the hanging site. Of course, the assistant would arrive first, and then the Axe would come through the clearing. Then, once they’d both arrived, the event would begin. That’s how it always was, it was how it always would be. A part of you wondered if there was another way. The thought of letting a murderer go free seemed unthinkable, but did they have to die themselves? You didn’t know. Somebody with more time on their hands might have been able to think over the problem more thoroughly, but as it was you only felt opposed to the executions, but weren’t able to think of any other good solution.
You watched the crowds slowly grow in number as they bumbled around your stall. The bread and buns were flying off the shelves at this point. Muffins were devoured before your very eyes. The throng of people was generating an electric buzz in the air, crackling with the winds through the trees. Judge Holten looked out over the crowd with a disdainful eye, Father Kim behind him with a more sympathetic expression. Even from here, you could see him shivering in the cool air. With how his hands had withered away, you figured they were probably more sensitive than ever.
Whispers rippled through the crowds. As with any gathering, you heard stories from all around the village. Some talked about the local drunk’s latest antics at the tavern. Another rumour was about what an old woman was doing with her pets in the shed out back. Someone mentioned that the butcher was getting a bit steep with his prices. Another said the nuns were getting frustrated with the lack of provisions provided to the church as of late. All these stories curled around the air with a whimsical twirl. The stories ranged from the banal to the completely bizarre in nature. The ones about the old woman and her pets stood out as a particularly egregious one.
You chuckled at the latest tidbit of gossip being thrown your way. You waved the man off with a big toothy grin and turned to help the next customer. To your surprise, it was none other than Salvatrice.
“Salv!” you beamed as you packed her usual order, “I didn’t think you were back yet!”
Salv played with an arrowhead between her fingers as she said, “Well, the raptor was pretty easy to track. It was too big to hide from me for long.”
“So, a successful hunt?” you asked hopefully.
“Yes,” Salv nodded, “a good hunt.”
“Great! So you’ll be selling it soon?” you queried.
“Once Tor breaks it down,” Salv frowned, “but he’s getting pricey these days.”
“So I heard,” you mentioned as you served a different customer.
“He’s asking for nearly a quarter of my wage now,” Salv grumbled, “I can’t keep up with that! Hunters don’t make that much, you know?”
“You’ve let me know a few times before,” you replied easily.
“Now he’s going around asking for a hundred stones. I can’t afford that! Nobody can!” Salv clenched her fist around the arrowhead.
“I’m sure the prices will go down,” you assured her, “Tor can’t keep charging those sorts of prices for long. The people in this village just can’t afford that.”
“Maybe, or maybe they’ll keep paying them because there’s nobody else,” Salv clenched her jaw tight.
“Well, I hope not,” you scrunched up your face, “I don’t want to think what people would do. The last cycle was bad enough as is.”
“I think it’s because of the last cycle that he’s charging these prices,” Salv shook her head, “he realised he can get away with it.”
“But those were desperate times,” you pointed out.
“And all the businesses took advantage of how vulnerable we all were,” Salv leveled a glare at you, “they learned from our weakness.”
You shook your head free of her thoughts, “No, I’m sure there’s a good reason. Tor isn’t a bad man. He’s not like that.”
“You say that,” Salv spat bitterly, “but I’m not so sure. I think he’s a blorgron.”
You glared at the dark haired hunter fiercely, “Don’t say that! We’re all just trying to recover after the flooding and droughts.”
“At the expense of the people!” Salv retorted.
You cringed and held up your hands meekly, “I don’t know. It’s not my place to say.”
Salv stared you down with coal-black eyes. Hot burning coals burned through your clothes to your very soul. Hatred, fury, injustice, it all flickered through her eyes before she settled on one final emotion: defeat.
“You wouldn’t understand,” she sighed, “you’re a vendor just like Tor. But,” she gave you a resigned half-smile, “you keep your prices affordable at least.”
“We try to,” you handed out another loaf of bread, “Uncle always wants to raise them up, but Auntie won’t let him.”
“She’s a damn good woman then,” Salv determined.
“She’s sometimes a good woman,” you grumbled, “she’s a slave driver if you ask me.”
“Well, it’s a good thing I’m not asking you,” Salv gruntled.
“I suppose so,” you said. You turned to say more to her when the crowd broke out into a roar.
Salv smirked as she took a bite of the beetle meat bun, “Looks like the show’s started.”
Salv slunk into the obscurity of the crowd as you peered over the edge of your stall. You couldn’t help but stare as The Axe came into view, easily a head and shoulders above everyone else at the clearing. His hood fluttered around his clavicle with the wind as he strode forth. He looked around the clearing with blank eyes before they fell upon you. Immediately, they lit up with bright recognition, and just as they did, the light went out and he was back to the blank mask of before. You were the only person in the entire crowd to notice how he stumbled slightly when he moved past you to the Criahlin’s stone.
Once they got to the stage, the prisoner was finally revealed to you. A wiry man with a thin, pinched face. His eyes burned dark with a silent rage, furious and clawing inside him like a ravenous beast.
Judge Holten watched The Axe guide the man to the center of the stone, then down into a kneeling position. You winced sympathetically.
��Karl Hoffman,” Judge Holten pulled out his thick book of laws and perched it on his bulging stomach, “thirty-eight cycles, father of eight cycle Klara Hoffman and ten cycle Mathilde Hoffman. Husband of thirty–two cycle Martha Hoffman. Employed as a fishmonger, but was found out to have joined the Raptor’s Claws to steal a living as a highwayman.
“Karl Hoffman is accused of three charges of manslaughter, the assault and battery of two different women, battery of six different men, and accused of stealing over twenty thousand faces. For these charges he has been sentenced to death by choking,” Judge Holten smirked as he shut his book and tucked it under his corpulent arm and turned to face Karl, “you are a damned man, but I will be giving you one last chance at redemption. Do you take Halax as your lord above, in this life and beyond, forevermore?”
Karl turned his thin neck to glare down at Father Kim. You watched as Father Kim stood tall against the withering stare, unmoving in the face of evil. Karl pulled his head back, then spat directly into the priest’s face.
Karl turned back to look at Judge Holten’s reddening face and gave him a twisted grin with a mouth full of crooked teeth, “No sir, I don’t think I do.”
His whispering voice sent chills up your spine. The display itself was unthinkable. How anyone could revoke the name of Halax, especially in their dying moments, was beyond you. You stared, gobsmacked as Judge Holten awkwardly shifted his robes over his protruding belly and waddled side to side. Judge Holten glanced over to Father Kim, who had carefully used his coarse brown robe to wipe his face clean, marring the markings he’d painted onto his face that morning.
You glanced between the men as Judge Holten looked to Father Kim, he himself shaken by the flagrant display of utter disinterest in any form of honor or redemption for himself or his family. You trembled slightly as you waited for anything to happen.
Father Kim stepped forward and presented a bowl of black ink to Karl. The man tried to move out of the way, but The Axe clamped onto the back of his neck and kneeled into his legs. Father Kim gave the executioner a long, thankful look and then went on with his work. He gently placed his forefingers into the ink, then gently pressed them onto the man’s forehead. With a shudder of his shoulders, he painted a large eye on his forehead, then two slashes crossed over it. Father Kim rose back to his feet and steeped back with a mournful shake of his head. The Axe stepped back to hover by his side.
You watched as Judge Holten turned back to the crowd with a shaky breath. He looked up, his watery red-rimmed eyes glanced around before finally settling back on the crowd.
“Karl Hoffman has declared to the court that he does not wish to be reunited with Halax in the next realm. As such, he is declared lost, and Martha, Mathilde and Klara Hoffman are hereby stripped of their citizenship and declared lost as well,” even the horrible Judge Holten trembled like a leaf before he straightened up and turned to the hooded man by the back of the stage, “my Axe, if you’d please.”
The Axe stepped forward from the back of the stage to take the back of Karl Hoffman’s neck into his hand. He screamed bloody murder and thrashed against the giant man’s grip, kicking and spitting like a wild animal. The Axe tried desperately to give him one last chance of dignity by letting him walk up the ladder himself, but Karl immediately tried to dart into the woods. Within a couple of steps, The Axe had his hand back on the back of his neck and gripped it tight as he dragged the man back to the ladder. With one hand on the ladder and one on his victim’s neck, The Axe slowly crawled up the ladder while Karl dangled limply at his side. He tried to kick the ladder over but Father Kim was quick to stabilize the two. Karl screamed until his voice broke when The Axe rose to the top and finally looped a noose around Karl’s neck. With nothing left to do, The Axe slowly lowered Karl and left him to suffocate.
Karl kicked and gripped at the noose around his neck, lifting himself just barely to scream profanities at the gathered crowd. He spluttered and spat before he turned to his wife and cursed her and his children like nothing you’d ever heard before. Meanwhile, his wife watched him with wide eyes and a dropped jaw. Her rudy hair waved in the coming breeze as she watched her husband use his last moments not to declare his love to her, not to apologise for his actions, but to spew hatred the likes of which nobody there had ever seen. Even from here you could see her struggle to keep her wailing children at her side. Their littlest daughter stared up at her father with big black eyes, so much like her father’s but filled with sadness and love instead of hatred and fire. You could only imagine her asking her mother what it meant to be lost, what it meant now that their father was gone.
Karl Hoffman continued to kick and spit, but his grip grew weak and he slowly slumped into the noose. At that point, you turned away and focussed on packing up the rest of the bread. Some things were better left unseen.
Glossary
1. Halaxwake: The first day of the week/God-Watch
2. Poppernickens: A species of flower characterized by tiny five-petal flowers that grow in bunches along a tall stalk. Large round leaves shoot out along the bottoms of the stalks. The flower seeds can be ground to get a floral spice used in cooking. Leaves can be used as salves for burns.
3. Twineweed: A long vine once considered a pest plant, but is now used to weave fence posts together to create natural fences. The large white flowers are toxic to most animals, but the pollen has a pleasant smell that some people use as perfume.
4. Wink: An alcoholic beverage made from fermented fruits. Farmers often collect any fruit that spoils or grows poorly and use it to make wink for the end of the year. Each batch has its own individual taste. Usually, years with plenty of rain make the best wink.
5. Vigil: A minute in their time, a bit over a minute in our time. Used as an expression for a short amount of time.
6. Elves: A warlike species known for being the best hunter/warriors on the continent. Their brutal culture is widely feared by others. Many believe that if elves were more intelligent, they would have organised to take over the continent and wipe out all other species. As it is, they are known for their brawn more than their brain, and thankfully they are too curious and entertained by other cultures to attempt genocide. They find all other species weak, but amusing enough to take as slaves for their own entertainment.
7. Brak-Hah’s-Eye: The sun, the center of their solar system
8. Corpse Flowers: A group of species of flowers that grow near decay. They are often seen as cursed flowers, and use of them is heavily prohibited by most laws. However, they are known to be excellent pain killers and excellent disinfectants. Have a notably bitter, sour taste. Look somewhat like snowbells or lady’s slippers.
9. Turning-Time: Season
10. Poke Bear: A tiny species of bear covered in spines. The animal will occasionally roll into a ball and charge downhill at its prey. Other times, it uses its long spined tail to defend against larger predators.
11. Sweetlin: A round, sweet fruit, much like an apple but larger and more filling.
12. Swintlin: A very sour fruit covered in a thick, black skin. Very citrusy and used in both sweet and savoury cooking and baking.
13. Loch Tree: A type of coniferous tree that grows in the northern Mormonian forests. Grows to eighteen meters in height with long branches spiralling around to form a canopy below. The pine needles are hard, and often used as sewing needles to make clothes. The sap can be used for glue. The wood is notably difficult to work with because it is so hard, and it has a strong smell that lingers for years to come. Makes poor firewood because the sap forms large pockets in the wood, and when heated up explodes.
14. Stone: Slang for a face. A face can be broken into one hundred fragments, which refers to cents. Every face is composed of one hundred fragments. Slang for a face is a stone, slang for a fragment is a pebble. Used as currency.
15. Blorgron: A large, fat and unintelligent lizard with a broad head and a stumpy jaw. Equivalent to a pig, but a simple herd animal. Known for being simple minded and territorial over food. Often considered to be symbols of gluttony.
16. Declared Lost: When an individual is legally declared lost, they lose their rights as a citizen in their nation. They are considered lost from the light of any god, and as such are considered lesser citizens. They cannot vote, cannot marry nor divorce, cannot receive medical treatment or any form of charity from the community. Many fall into complete poverty as others refuse to be associated in any way, lest they be dragged down with the lost ones. To be declared lost is the greatest social punishment a court can give out. Many will leave to go into exile because of the shame of being lost.
Part 2
Konig Dump
Alternate Universes
Full Fic on KoFi Here
#konig#cod konig#konig cod#konig call of duty#konig mw2#konig x reader#konig x you#konig fluff#konig fanart#fan art#digital art#cod mw2#cod#cod mwii#cod x reader#call of duty#modern warfare#konig fanfiction#konig headcanons#cod headcanons#konig hcs#konig fanfic#konig childhood#konig relationship#konig shenanigans#konig art#konig au#executioner konig#exectuioner!konig#cod fanfic
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So like, in my case, it's because I haven't been on board with the narrative's framing of the moral landscape since like episode... three?
This narrative is just PLAGUED with rules for thee but not for me. Is it wrong to assassinate the enemy kingdom's ruler who has blood on his hands? Depends on who does it. To send an assassin after the innocent young prince? Depends on who's doing it. To BE a magical assassin? Dunno, are you aesthetically pleasing while doing it? Is it wrong to kill bugs? Depends on who's doing it. Is it wrong to want power? Ditto. Is it wrong to use slurs and do unflattering impersonations of another species? Shocking and unforgivable if you're human, hilarious if you're an elf. Almost point for point, everything the "evil" characters have done that was bad, the "good" characters have also done and never been held to account for it by the other characters or by the narrative. And the "bad guys" have done a lot of GOOD stuff that the narrative refuses to acknowledge.
One of THE villains of the series is a man who worked tirelessly and sacrificed his physical health to not only defend his people from natural disasters and from incursions from invading forces, but ALSO defends the actual lives of said people from a king who would blithely throw thousands of them away for a feel-good moment with the queens of a foreign kingdom. Harrow FAILED as a king right there, it would have been DISASTROUS to his rule if they'd actually carried our that edict, Viren snatched that situation right out of the fire, and he's VILIFIED for it! And the reasoning is that they had to kill a big, possibly sentient, possibly unique creature to save thousands of (ordinary, common, boring) lives... ... but THEN when it's RAYLA AND CALLUM setting out with the intent to kill a big, possibly sentient, possibly unique creature -- not even to save lives, but to restore a cultural practice and claim the reward for it -- THAT'S FINE. Yes, they found a way not to kill it, warm fuzzies all around, but the narrative completely fails to grapple with the fact that they were GOING to and it NEVER treats that as wrong the way it does with the magma titan. (Caveat: I'm not saying Viren did nothing else wrong, but I take issue with the way sins were heaped upon him by the writers in later seasons because frankly they're just trying to retroactively justify the vilification that was already present in season 1.)
And the BIGGEST injustice at the heart of all these injustices is this idea that humans have no right to want magic, even when they're dying for lack of it, even when the people who have it are abusing them instead of helping them, humans have no right to call anybody out or take anything they aren't given or even wish for it to be different. Every human who ever did dark magic for any reason was wrong, every human who ever fought back against an elf or dragon was wrong, humans are supposed to accept their place at the bottom of the pecking order and in the reservations they've been force-marched to and they're supposed to be the ones to absorb any lingering anger from the conflict and set down their weapons first even when being actively invaded --
-- and then we get told the story of the FIRST time this happened, when a sweet innocent child motivated by love was the only one who wanted to help humans, and she was KILLED for it in the name of the natural order --
-- I'm on Team Aaravos here, not because I think he's righteous (he's not) or because this is nobler than vengeance (it's not) but because I'm disgusted with the so-called morality of everyone the show is telling me to root for. EVERYONE in this show has sought revenge for something at some point, which makes Aaravos no worse than any of them in terms of motives. Everybody's got blood on their hands, and the numbers just depend on who you think 'counts' as a person. He's manipulative in a way that obviously creeps some people out, but this show has failed to give me any character whose behavior I'm happy with, so pick your poison.
Aaravos is railing against the entire moral order of this little fictional universe and so am I. He wants to take that world apart with his teeth and I'm going to be over here with my popcorn. Fucking get 'em, babygirl.
Obviously he's going to lose, and we'll get some speech about how it was because of the desire for peace and unity or something, and it'll be super super gross, and the show will never actually address the fate it consigns the human race to, and everything will all work out because the writers said so, forever and ever, amen. Whatever. I'm here for the food at this point.
Someone explain to me why there are so many posts along the lines of: "Aaravos can do whatever he wants now that we know he lost his beloved daughter and has trauma"
My brother in Satan that's someone else's daughter he's going after and exploiting now.
I know the answer is He's Hot So He Can Do Whatever He Wants which- yeah like I'm here for the fandom's poor-little-meow-meowfication of him, too. Fandom gotta fandom, I guess. but still- I don't fully get that on a logical or emotional level.
The whole Leola thing did humanise him, yes, but that added complexity didn't change my mind about him being kind of a dick.
There is this song in Sweeney Todd, Johanna (Quartet). Sweeney grieves the loss of his daughter but that's still secondary to how focused he is on using that grief to fuel his desire for a revenge- Revenge that's destroying countless lives of innocent bystanders who mean nothing to him. The story he tells himself about his innocent daughter's faith is the justification for his actions. That's my perception of Aaravos. And that's ultimately more interesting to me than him being a perfect lil' victim of this all.
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it’s January and as has become a habit for me: I’m playing the RE2 Remake again :D
So, a little doodle of Leon in honour of my latest playthrough of the game (I got a C Rank... again.)
#resident evil#re2 remake#leon kennedy#fanart#my art#meka art#he's such a silly little guy#so very dumb and I love him#I would not have done any different in his situation#and I almost certainly would have died a bunch of times#I hope you like the very normal william birkin coming to ask our boy leon if he's seen his daughter at all#normally#:)#I probably will do more resi fanart tbh
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im thinking abt liam and bryce SO much rn now. theyre dynamic is so. sorry liam. sorry bryce
#neither of them have done anything wrong and are simply two diff ppl w two diff personalities and two diff thought processes#responding to the same single event . that they didnt deserve to have to respond to but now they just Have To#and both of them regard the other w a sort of desperation around the events of s1 but in a different way#that they respond one way that contradicts how the other does#liam doesnt care what happens to himself but bryce doesnt want to lose everything#its very realistic and very tragic because they were both important for each other but the opposite of what each other wanted at all#bryce wanted to finally heal. from everything. and whether or not ignoring one was a healthy way to do so was irrelevant#he just wanted to finally heal#and liam just. he doesnt care about His Own Life. he just wants to do this One Thing at All Costs. and no one else can help him.#he wants to be known by someone. anyone really. because he cant do any of it alone but its all he knows to do now#and nothing else matters to him#the two are just. theyre so complicated and im emotional abt it#i thinka bt it a lot but i think a good way to put it is#wrt the trolley problem? liam would pull the lever. bryce wouldnt#anyway. that piece os soooo. thinks abt them forever#i think every combination of characters in one is extremely tragic#bc its normal ppl responding to a horrible situation they didnt deserve to be in but now have to respond to#and sometimes they conflict. sometimes they hurt another person when the intent was to help. sometimes its solace in the worst of ones life#but all of them are so. i think abt it a lot liam and bryce are just now the specific ones on my mind cus of my most recent rb
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margaery when she heard renly and loras were scheming to get her to court so robert would become infatuated with her and replace cersei with her
#♡ about. ⊱ ❝ 𝘌𝘯𝘰𝘶𝘨𝘩 𝘵𝘰 𝘥𝘳𝘪𝘷𝘦 𝘢 𝘴𝘢𝘪𝘯𝘵 𝘵𝘰 𝘮𝘢𝘥𝘯𝘦𝘴𝘴 𝘰𝘳 𝘢 𝘬𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘵𝘰 𝘩𝘪𝘴 𝘬𝘯𝘦𝘦𝘴. ❞#I think this is like . . . the one scheme of theirs that she wasn't really a willing participant in lmao#like I'm sorry boys but that was SUCH a fucking stupid play to try to make. and not one I see marg attempting on her own volition.#it would have done a lot to give renly and loras more sway but would have done jack shit for marg personally and she would recognize that#the sad thing is I don't think she would have refused to do it altogether but it definitely wasn't the same prospect to her#as trying to marry joffrey or tommen#like yes marg wanted power she wanted to be THE queen but it's just Different under those circumstances#unsettling implications aside#with joffrey or tommen she felt she could have power over them at the very least#which is what put her into competition with cersei bc cersei wanted to keep that control over her sons#robert was much older and already married and she wouldn't have any power over him. cersei didn't and she's cersei fucking lannister.#and plus being seen as a 'mistress' first would have been bad for her reputation and we know how important her reputation is to her#and on top of all of that what is the fucking point??? if robert was almost guaranteed to die when she's still young????#then she'd just have to marry joffrey anyway if she had any hope to remain queen#but that would be almost impossible given the circumstances of her being previously married to his 'father'#also the irony of them planning this because they think she looks like lyanna and that will be enough to entice robert isn't lost on me#if they succeeded they would have just been damning her to the same fate lyanna had tried to run from#anyway the whole situation is just Nasty and I am shaking renly and loras by their well-conditioned hair#it's scary its gross it's ironic and sad
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the whole “treat others how you want to be treated” line sounds so easy, but i am finding things immensely complicated by the fact that, in truth, there are many people who do NOT want to be treated the way i want to be treated and will take offense if i try
#personal post#i do not like to have my routines disrupted. so i try to impose on my hosts as little as possible during their day-to-day lives.#i feel uncomfortable when strangers are emotional in my presence. so i stay in my room when i’m upset.#i wouldn’t like to feel obligated to entertain a guest 24/7.#so i try to entertain myself when my host hasn’t made it clear that they have the time.#all these things i do bc they strike me as polite and considerate#but i’m pretty sure all it’s done is earn me a reputation as a cold distant bitch to all my brother’s friends#(or at least his gf and her mom who actually complained about me to him)#(or rather his gf’s mom complained to his gf who complained to him)#i think part of the problem is that my brother and his friends are all highly extroverted and i am highly. not.#so i’m trying to give them space and privacy like i would an introvert friend but they see this as me acting ‘too good for them’ or smthg#it just exhausts me tho bc apparently his gf told him that she doesn’t want her family ‘getting hurt by what they don’t understand’#and it’s like geez am i really so alien to y’all that you can’t even understand me?#and am i really so incomprehensible as to be threatening?#never heard that from any of my other friends though like attracts like i suppose#when left to my own devices i’m more likely to befriend people who think and feel the way i do#whereas now i’m obligated to befriend my brother’s friends. who likely think and feel differently than i do.#funny thing is: i thought we all got along great until my brother told me otherwise!#but eh. guess i gotta practice imposing more and springing more surprise social situations on unsuspecting hosts.#some people are into that i hear
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why didn't they just use franziska for literally all of this.
#freya talks aai2#my goals of not being a forgotten/forsaken hater are not going well. he goes from 'kay is a dear ACQUAINTANCE' to 'i've not known her for#very long but i know she'd never kill anyone' to 'you are the kay i know so well' in the span of a few hours and it's like.#okay so you know it was too early in their acquaintanceship for this to really make sense but you still wanted a 'deep' and 'meaningful'#relationship to take the lead in this plotline. his sister is literally right there. it wouldnt have been hard to swap her in either because#she's literally investigating the smuggling situation. it would make perfect sense for her to be there following a lead instead of suddenly#revealing kay's promise notebook went missing. im not saying that the super-gentle super-meek persona would have made more sense with#franziska but honestly it wouldnt have made sense with any of them because it's more a caricature of a character rather than being an actual#previously unseen facet of one but you could've done so many more interesting things with franziska! she has an actual personal stake in#edgeworth's decision to continue as a prosecutor or not and we could get actual insight into how her own relationship with prosecuting and#its inextricable link to her father has affected her as a person. like when you show amnesiac kay the prosector badge all she says is that#it feels heroic warm and familiar like someone she knew used to show it to her often. and like cool. it's basically telling us she and her#father were close. which we already knew. imagine if franziska had said something like that or had had a more complex reaction. there would#be so many avenues to go with that!! you'd even be able to delve deeper into what edgeworth thinks about it all. like what if franziska was#just. happier. without her memories. then you'd have a story where edgeworth has to reckon with whether it might be kinder to let her live a#different life where she's unburdened by literally everything she's been made to go through and give her the same opportunity of starting#over that he now has.#im just writing fanfiction at this point but like. the amnesia plot is so frustrating to me HAHA they dont even do anything interesting with#it!! it's just oh she's lost her memories and we need to get them back because she's not 'herself' anymore without any discussion of like.#the nature of identity or living as who other people know you as vs whoever you might actually be#WHEN THE WHOLE CASE IS ABOUT EDGEWORTH DECIDING ON HIS PATH FORWARDS AND GRAPPLING WITH BEING THE PROSECUTOR EVERYONE HAS KNOWN HIM AS#whatever. WHATEVER.#annotations#some people might argue so it's not rehashing old conflict between franziska and edgeworth and like ok. she literally repeats her 'are you#running away from me again' line during this case. does that sound like the words of resolved conflict?#i know WHY they use kay. it's because they need to justify her place in this game and because they want to play on the pseudo father-figure#thing they played up in aai2 to contribute to the overall themes of fatherhood this game is dealing with. and to that i have to say that i#might just not be the audience for it because i've never bought that version of their relationship and i dont think kay should be in aai2#anyway. plus i posit that franziska would've still worked for that theme because. literally everything. about her.
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