#I would have been fine with any result cause I literally love ALL of them and I'll play all the routes

[elsyrel]

Agshagshssgasf I got Kuras in the Touchstarved quiz <3!!!

[builtbybrokenbells]

It’s Never Over

A blowout resulting in an untimely breakup between y/n and her long term boyfriend leaves both of them broken. A year and a half later, after nothing but radio silence and unrequited love, they find themselves face to face once more. Both grown up, living completely different lives, but still hurting over mistakes their younger selves made, and still hopelessly head over heels for each other. They find themselves caught up in the struggle of choice; to allow history to repeat itself, or let the memory of their past fade away into nothing.

listen while reading: lover, you should’ve come over - Jeff Buckley

Pairing: josh kiszka x f!reader

Word Count: 17.7k

Warnings: SMUT 18+, unprotected sex, sweet soft makeup sex, oral (f!receiving), fingering, praise, pet names, body worshiping ig if you squint, breakups/breakup talk, angst (with a happy ending 😁), mentions of drugs, drinking, sad josh (needs a warning of its own), crying, some yelling, sweetness, tooth rotting fluff, sorry if I miss any!!!

so somebody requested some josh angst and i just couldn’t help myself 🤭 a very happy ending, pinky promise. you guys know me well enough to know I’m a slut for happy endings. also sorry it turned out so long, i HAVE to stop it with the literal novels. i just got super attached to the characters and got carried away (what else is new). i also wrote this mostly in one sitting so I had to trim a lot and add things here and there, but i hope this is satisfactory!! also not fantastically edited, cause I’m super lazy 🫣 as always, be kind, enjoy, and don’t mind any grammar mistakes!!

~

The silk of your dress clung to your skin, the slit in the leg just promiscuous enough to catch eyes, but not enough to be uncomfortably exposed. The deep emerald green was elegant, a fantastic choice on your part. Your hair hung loosely over your shoulders, the scent of your perfume radiating around you. You were dressed to the nines, much like the other women pooling into the lobby of the five-star hotel. Even so, you had never felt more out of place. As you anxiously awaited the progression to the main event, you couldn’t help but check over your shoulders every few minutes. You were hoping to catch sight of any familiar faces before they saw you, in hopes of a head start to hide away. You straightened your hair out and fixed the straps of your dress, trying to pass a few more minutes without focusing on your nervousness.

It was your first time back in Nashville after a year and a half of avoiding it. You’d moved to New York some time ago and hadn’t looked back since. Your hometown was greatly missed, but for no reasons that were obvious. You didn’t miss your family; you shared phone calls and texts, which was perfectly fine for you. They’d always been a bit hard on the head, raving about appearance and sophistication rather than fun and happiness, so the distance wasn’t terribly troublesome. Your siblings were scattered across the world, anyway, so the change in location really had no effect on the relationships you previously had with them. The town itself wasn’t troublesome to leave behind, either. You had gotten your fill of it in your first twenty-some years of life, and it was quite refreshing to get out into the world and see something new.

What you did miss, though, was the boy you left behind. Although, it wasn’t a choice to leave him; he’d made that decision for you, and without a hesitation, too. You never expected him to come with you while you followed your dream. It would be selfish to expect him to leave everything behind to chase you around the world. But, you did hope that there was a part of him that wanted to make it work despite the distance, like you’d done for him countless times. When you told him you had to go, that the move was something you desperately needed, all of the love he ever had for you seemed to disappear. He turned cold and distant, and ended things without a second thought.

“Please, Josh, just listen to me for one minute!” You begged, tears forming in your eyes. His usually joyous face was nothing short of indifferent towards you, now.

“I don’t have anything to talk about with you, y/n.” The words were equal to a stab to the chest. His eyes were looking anywhere but you, secretly afraid he’d break down and tell you everything he was holding back.

“You’re going to throw the last three years out the window over this? Without a compromise, or a conversation, or anything at all?” There was a few feet of space between you, both scared of breaking the invisible boundary.

“You’re leaving! You pack up all of your shit and move in with me, just to tell me a few months later that you’re moving across the country? You’ve known for a while, and you’re just telling me now?” He finally broke, the pain in his eyes clearer than anything you’d ever seen. The accusatory tone was infuriating, as if he was sentencing you with a crime you hadn’t committed.

“I haven’t known for a while, Josh. I just got the email today! I applied thinking there was no way in hell I would ever hear back, but I did, and I have to go. This is my dream, you know that. It’s the only thing I’ve ever wanted.” You pleaded for him to see reason.

“The only thing, huh?” You could tell the statement landed wrong, feeling guilty for even making him think that was what you meant. “I tell you all of the time you can come work with us, design for us; we’d be more than happy to have you there.”

“I can’t do that! I can’t always be in the background of your fame. I can’t backpack off of your success, live in the shadows of my boyfriend forever. I need to make a name for myself, to prove to everyone that I can do it on my own, without any handouts.” You explained. He nodded, barely responding to anything you had to say about it.

“That’s fine, y/n. Go, live your dream. I’m not stopping you.” He sounded defeated, like he was giving up.

“What about us?” You whispered, your voice hoarse from the hours of back-and-fourth yelling.

“Clearly you weren’t thinking about me when you made the decision, so why are you worried about it, now?” Your heart broke, the tears you were holding back finally falling down your cheeks. “You can go, but I’m not going to wait for you to come back.” Silence hung thick in the air, and for the first time in your long history, it was uncomfortable.

“So that’s it?” You snapped. “I can sit at home while you travel the world, wait for you to come home, not know if you’re sleeping with the millions of girls that throw themselves at you? That’s fine? But the minute I want to get out of here, escape the shitty 9-5 lifestyle and do something for myself, I’m the bad guy? I’m not asking you to drop everything and come with me, I’m just asking you to love me enough to support me while I do it!” You could see regret flash in his eyes, both of your emotions running high and clouding your judgement. When he remained silent, you got more than enough of an answer. “Okay,” you let out a small, humourless laugh. “I’ll get my shit, then. If this is how you want to go about it, fine by me. You’ll never have to see me again.” You turned towards the hallway, preparing yourself to pack up your entire life.

“Y/n,” he said, stopping you for a moment. “Just stay, please.” You could hear tears in his voice, too.

“So I can sit around and wait for you for the rest of my life?” Your voice cracked, effortlessly showing him all of the emotion you were trying not to let out. “I can’t put everything on pause because you don’t want me to go, Josh. I might never get a chance like this ever again. I don’t want to leave you, but this is my life. My dream.”

“I’m supposed to be a part of your life, too.”

“Not if you make me choose.”

“So you’ve already made up your mind?” The accusation fuelled a fire in you.

“I was hoping to have both, but I guess we can’t have everything we want.” He let out a long exhale.

“Yeah, I guess so.” He grumbled. “You’re leaving to chase after a possibility, y/n. You’re gonna move out there with no real offer lined up? You could get out there and end up at another shitty office job. Alone, away from everything you know. I’m here. I love you, and I’m certain about that.” Your stomach sank at his words, filled with dread knowing that he didn’t believe in you.

“You may be, but I’m not.” You scoffed. “If you love me, you’d support me. You know how bad I want this. You’re not being fair.” You waited for a moment, hoping he’d say something else. When you were met with another staggering silence, you stumbled away from him with your heart in your stomach and your head in your hands. You left your house key on the bed before walking away forever.

That was the last time you spoke to him. A few days after that, you got on a plane to New York and spent months trying to rid yourself of his memory. Now, over a year later, every essence of your being was still plagued with Josh Kiszka. You never got over him, you never moved on, and you never stopped thinking of him. He was the love of your life; the type of love that overshadowed any other emotion you could ever experience. Sure, you hated him, too, and a part of you hoped you’d never see him again, but there was a bigger part of you that longed for one more hug, or even just another smile. He was one of a kind, and nobody held a candle to him. He never texted, he never called, or even so much as liked a social media post. Sometimes, you wondered if you’d spend the rest of your life yearning for someone who barely remembered you existed.

As much as you still loved him, the hurt you held in your chest was debilitating. He let you walk out the door, no hint of hesitation. It killed you, because you’d spent years cheering him and his brothers on while they lived their dream, but he wasn’t willing to reciprocate for you. You hoped he would change his mind, but the only thing you’d received in your year away was radio silence. There was no solid proof that you ever existed to him aside from memory, and that’s what hurt you the most. You watched his life through pictures, his face gracing your phone screen with new press releases and album announcements, sending you spiralling down the Kiszka rabbit hole even further. You listened to their music every now and then, even watched a few interviews, just to remind yourself of what his voice sounded like. You were well aware that their new album was bound to release within the next few months. It served as another reminder of how great his life was going without you in it.

You hadn’t done too bad for yourself, either. The move to New York stemmed from a submission to be considered for a spot in New York Fashion Week. You’d applied as a model for the event, with slim expectations for a response. When they responded to your headshots, it kickstarted the fire in you to follow your passion. Once you arrived, you modelled and found that taste of life you’d been longing for so badly. You had the opportunity to meet big names you had been dreaming of meeting your whole life, and somehow even managed to pick up a mentor to help you achieve your biggest dream: design. After a few months of solely shadowing her, then a year of sleepless nights and some blood, sweat, and tears, you were finally set to release your own line of designer clothing. Of course, it was partnered with your mentor company, but it still adorned your name.

Most of your presale items were already sold out, giving you an overwhelming sense of pride. Big celebrities were in line to own your clothing, eager enough to buy it that they were ordering months ahead. As much as it hurt leaving everything behind when you moved to New York, your life was more than you ever could have imagined it, now. Still, with all of the financial success, a part of you still felt like it was missing. Somewhere amidst all of the fame, you realized that you may have given up a bit too much to get where you were. You tried not to focus on it, knowing that dwelling on the past would only limit you from the future. If Josh Kiszka was meant to be yours, he would be. If not, life would go on. You had to understand that, because if you believed anything else, you were sure it would kill you.

The crowd began to filter away in front of you, letting you know the doors to the event were opening. The cameras outside were still flashing, meaning guests were still arriving. You were thankful you had a room booked upstairs so you could avoid the paparazzi. As much as you loved your work, the galas and celebrations could be a bit much by times. You almost preferred the quietness of the design room over the runway, now. At first, the pictures and cheers and magazine covers were a thrill. They’d begun to lose their novelty almost as soon as it started, just the same as the parties. When your boss handed you a plane ticket a few days prior, you questioned why you were heading to Nashville. She’d wasted no time in telling you about the Gala you would be not only attending, but speaking at. Your stomach was sick at the idea. Some of it was due to the public speaking, but more so because Nashville was the last place you wanted to be. But, part of the job was to keep up appearances, so you had no choice but to oblige.

The question of Nashville in specific brought up a whole world of information. Apparently, the success of your line of clothing had caused some speculation of expansion. That morning, the company announced your own outlet store opening in your hometown. They thought it as a gift to you, but it was more of a nightmare. That meant a lot more time in Nashville, even permanently, for a while. Also, more appearances, and more of a chance to run into the boy you’d rather run away from. Still, your appreciation of the gesture was unmatched; knowing they had faith in you to have your own outlets meant more than anything in the world. You felt like the success you’d been searching for had finally rewarded you. So, you hopped on a plane and threw on your best dress. You left your hotel room with big smiles and the determination to forget any uncertainty. Still, you were well aware that a gala in Nashville would indisputably include musicians. That meant there was a larger chance of seeing Josh than you were particularly comfortable with.

You followed the sea of people into the large room, noticing it was decorated in hints of golds and silvers, really showcasing elegance. The stage was lit up with low lights, hinting towards the anticipated guest speakers. Soft music flowed through the sound system, enveloping you in a warm embrace. Music was the best way to drown out the other noise, and in your life, there was always noise. “You know, there’s more to life than caviar and blow.” You looked to your side, focusing on your company for the night. You laughed at her comment once you’d processed what she said. “I don’t think many people here know that.”

“It’s a tale of the rich, Liz. Most of these people were born on a bed of gold plated fish eggs and were shoved straight into generational drug addiction.” You smirked, eyes scanning the crowd. You knew your parents weren’t poor, but they were far from the families some of these people were born into. They had good reputations in the community, but not across the world. You weren’t impoverished, but would never have fathomed this type of money as a kid. As much as they cared about appearance, they were good parents. They raised you with love and strong morals, and you weren’t a stranger to struggle. They didn’t pay your way through life. What you got came from what you earned.

“Can you even imagine growing up this way? First birthdays spent at the Met Gala and graduation parties thrown in Venice?” She chuckled, but disbelief was present in her tone. Liz was a university student you’d hand picked to hire after her graduation. She doubled as an assistant and one of your models, but she was more than that. Over the months, she’d slowly turned into your best friend. She wasn’t much younger than you, only by about three years. Her resume caught your eye faster than any other, and you’d called her almost instantly. She just wanted experience in the fashion world, but you were certain that if things went smooth over the next few months, you’d ensure she’d be given her shares in the company. She worked extremely hard, had fantastic insight, along with being bright, kind, and hilarious. She kept you on your toes and brought you back to reality when you needed it.

“I suppose if you don’t know anything else, it’s completely normal.” You theorized. “I don’t ever want my kids to grow up that way. I don’t want them to be scared of playing outside and getting dirty. I don’t want money to be their main concern. And, if I had to suffer through the American public school system, they will too.” You laughed. She joined in, agreeing completely. You turned your head towards her, noticing the material of her dress was misplaced around her shoulders. “Mm, hold on,” you said, reaching over to her. She faced you, already knowing what the look on your face meant. You straightened it out, taking a small step back to double check. “There. Can’t have you in disarray, darling. Sure way to get us kicked out.” She grinned, picking up on your joking tone immediately.

“You just want your designer dresses to look perfect.”

“I’m nothing if not vain.” You both shared another laugh. You noticed a photographer making his way around the room through the corner of your eye. “Lipstick check.” You said, panicked. You flashed her your teeth.

“You’re good.” She repeated the action back to you.

“You, too.” You let out a dramatic sigh of relief. “Can’t wait to get the pictures and introductions over with so we can start drinking.”

“You don’t need any generational alcoholism; you got that all by yourself.” She chided. You chuckled, eyes searching for a server with champagne. That was one thing that was always for certain; no matter how mind-numbing the gala’s were, there was always high-end alcohol floating around somewhere.

“It’s not all pretty patterns and cross stitching, you know. Have to drown the demons somehow.” Your conversation was cut short by a camera being shoved in your faces. You gave your best public smile, the kind where your lips were upturned but you looked a little dead behind the eyes. Somehow in the celebrity world, that equated to elegance. You posed with Liz, giving the camera a bit of a show. Eventually, you broke and gave a real smile, but only for a moment. Once the photographer moved away, you relaxed your posture, feeling a bit more human.

“Does fame always entail looking soulless?”

“Yeah, pretty much. You’ll get used to it.” You mumbled, eyes falling to the table that was overflowing with food. Your eyes lit up at the sight of self-serve champagne flutes. You grabbed Liz’s hand, bringing her along with you as you advanced towards it. You picked up a glass, immediately taking a large gulp out of it. The nude colour of your lipstick stained the rim, claiming it as your own. Liz grabbed one too, also indulging in the bubbly liquid. “You don’t have to look soulless all of the time. Just when you’re posing, or on the walk, or if you’re walking down the street, or at the supermarket.” You listed, humour radiating from you. “Interviews give you the chance to show a little bit of life. Takes the world as a shock, you know, when they realize you actually have a personality.” You continued the earlier conversation.

“That seems a bit odd, doesn’t it?”

“Oh yeah, definitely. But it’s what I was taught.” You gave a shrug. “I think people find power attractive, and that’s kind of what you encase in pictures when you look like that. At least that’s what I picked up from it.”

“Makes sense, I guess. Also makes the interviews more memorable, too. People cling to the emotion ‘cause they feel like they finally get to know some part of you. Feel connected, even.”

“Exactly, sweetheart. See? You’re gonna have my job in no time.”

“Oh, don’t say that, you’ve got at least two more good years before people get bored of you.” You couldn’t help the cackle that fell from your lips, finding the statement hilarious mostly because of its truth. The spotlight only shines for so long before it’s begging to move on. “I don’t want your job. I’d like to work with you forever, I think.” She picked up an appetizer from the table, eyeing it suspiciously before popping it in her mouth.

“Don’t you think I’d be more fun when I go batshit crazy because I don’t know what to do with myself after the fame?”

“No, because I’d have to take care of you.” She said without missing a beat. “I know the rest of the ass-kissers at the office won’t. They just want their five minutes of fame. They don’t give a shit about you.” You hummed an agreement, knowing she was speaking the truth. True connection in the world of money and power was rare, and she was the only person you’d ever felt it with aside from your own mentor. It was a constant struggle of use people or get used, and it was exhausting. As much passion as you had for your work, you were always the first to admit that the industry was ruthless.

“Yeah, sometimes I feel like Julius Caesar walking in there. Waiting for the day they all get together and stab me.” You took another sip from your glass.

“Well, they’ll probably stab me, too. At least we can go to hell, together.” You raised your glass as a cheers to the statement. She gently clicked her glass against yours in response. “Jokes aside, you are a good boss. They all have great things to say about you, so you don’t have to worry about planned assassination, yet.”

“Fantastic news. I’ve been preparing for it for weeks, now.” You smiled. Just as you finished speaking, the lights dimmed a little further. You paid no mind to it, assuming it was just a cue for everyone to gather around in preparation for the first speech. “I want to be a good boss. I don’t want to be the person everybody is scared of. I do what I do because I love it, not for the money. If I can make people fall in love with it, too, then I know I did something worthwhile. That’s the end goal.” You drained the last of your beverage, placing your glass on the tray to be taken away. You immediately went for another, needing the liquid courage for when the stage was yours.

“You do a good job. That office is full of inspiration. I never felt out of place, even when I had no experience. Made me feel like I was meant to be there, rather than just meant to work for you.” You let a smile out, one laced with genuineness.

“Cause you are, Liz. I didn’t hire you because i thought you’d stroke my ego. I hired you because I knew you’d challenge me. There’s no pride in getting your way all of the time. We all need a little criticism to thrive.”

“It’s insane, y/n. I remember being in my grad year and hearing about the new model catching the attention of everyone at Fashion Week. Less than a year later, you were working with one of the biggest designers in America, and starting your own brand. You made the industry your bitch, and when you hired me I was terrified of you. I thought anyone who climbed the ladder that fast had to be evil. But you’re just a person. My friend, even. You respect everyone, from the big bosses to the janitors. It’s very admirable.”

“Don’t stroke my ego, I just told you that’s not why I hired you.” You chuckled. “I was the same as everyone else, too. I didn’t come from money, I had to do the dirty work, I got my heart broken, and knocked down a few times, too. I can recognize what I have now had a lot to do with luck, even if I do have the talent. That’s just the way the industry works. But, everyone plays a part in success, even if you’re the one changing the garbages, signing the legal documents, or have your name sewn into the tag.” She watched you in admiration as you spoke, almost shaking her head in disbelief. Despite the tiny age gap, she always felt like she could get the wisdom she craved from you. She looked up to you, even when you told her not to. In your eyes, you and her were the same. You wished she’d start to see it that way, too. “You’ll realize I’m just me when I get up there and stumble over all of my words.” You chuckled.

“You’ll look hot while you do it, though.” She gave you a nudge with your elbow. You laughed, feeling redness rise to your cheeks.

“You think so?” You appreciated the compliment more than she realized. Deep down, you were hoping to look good, just in case Josh happened to be floating around the event.

“Oh, yeah. That dress was the right choice.” You both fell into a silence, meticulously people watching. By the time the first speech was over with, you were buzzing with nervousness for your turn on the stage. You realized just how many people were there as you observed the crowed, understanding that if you messed up, you’d be the laughing stock of the event. Liz picked up on your anxiety, soothing you with small jokes and comments intermittently. It was helping slightly, knowing that you weren’t there alone, at least.

You’d done a lot of behind the scenes work over the last year. You did a few shows, not minding the camera in your face because you didn’t have to say anything. There was no worry of stutters or misplaced rambling. Only recently had you started speaking publicly, beginning with interviews and press conferences. Now, they were integrating you into a spokesperson. As your mentor told you, your work is nothing without publicity. You needed to create the illusion of connection, make people believe they know you, make them feel appreciated. That was the key to success. You spoke at a few gala’s, but this was the largest one to date with some of the most popular faces. The alcohol was giving you a bit of a sense of confidence, and whether it was fake or not didn’t matter; you had it, and you were going to use it.

A hand on your shoulder sent a jolt of shock through you, as it was unfamiliar, yet strangely comforting. Somewhere in your soul, you recognized it without even having to look at the face. “I always told you green was your colour, sunshine.” The tone, the dialect, formulation of the words, even the barely noticeable Michigan accent at the end of the sentence was painstakingly reminiscent for you. Your stomach plummeted, heart pounding against your rib cage as you turned towards the voice. Your gaze connected with his, sending a wave of emotion through you more powerful than most you’d felt before.

“Jake,” you breathed. His lips upturned into a smile, unable to contain his excitement to see you.

“I missed you.” He said, wasting no time pulling you into a hug. As much of a shock as it was to see him, you couldn’t help but melt into the hold. As angry as you were with his brother, Jake had always been your best friend through the years of dating Josh. When your relationship came to an untimely end, so did your friendship. You’d grown estranged from the boy in the same way you had with Josh, and it killed you just the same, too. You spent days deliberating reaching out to him, just to check in, but you didn’t want to overstep boundaries. Instead, you mastered the art of becoming a stranger with him, too.

“You had time to miss me with all of that music you’re making?” You teased, pulling back but not fully letting go of him. Your hand rested on his bicep, hesitant to release him in case he slipped away. “An album and another world tour coming up, I’m surprised you have time to think of anything other than that guitar.”

“Always have time to think about you,” he said, trying to pass it off as a joke. You could see a flicker of hurt cross his eyes, the small emotion feeling like a stab to the chest. “What about you, though? Your own brand and an outlet store here in Nashville?”

“So you keep up to date with me?” You grinned.

“Seems like you do, too.” He chuckled. “I, uh… I’m proud of you, Sunny.” The words settled in your bones like cement, weighing you down. As kind as they were, everything seemed to hurt when it was coming from his mouth. Maybe it was the way he said it, or the way his tone of voice reminded you so much of the boy you forced yourself to stop thinking about. Maybe it was his mannerisms, or the face, because when he turned his head a certain angle, all you could see was Josh. Whatever it was, it hurt, and it hurt achingly bad.

“I’m proud of you guys, too. The single was phenomenal. I always knew you guys were destined for something big. I think I can even see the rock and roll hall of fame in your future.” You smiled.

“One can dream.” He laughed. “I saw you were almost completely sold out of pre-orders. Everybody has been talking about you. It’s crazy.”

“You checked out my website?” You asked, a fizzle of excitement sparking in your chest. He scoffed at the question.

“I think we were the first to put an order in.” He was telling the truth, you could sense the genuine nature of his words just by his eyes. “The men’s line is super cool, by the way.”

“Oh,” you squeaked. “You got something?” Your cheeks were burning with embarrassment.

“Of course we did, y/n. We all got something.” You wanted to press further about his statement of ‘all’, but you pushed the thought away.

“I thought you guys would have forgotten about me by now.” You admitted. A bewildered look flashed across his face.

“Forget you?” He asked, unable to believe you’d ever think that. “Sunny, we think about you almost every day. We talk about you all of the time.” You swallowed hard at the new found information. “I saw your name on the program and I knew I couldn’t let you get away without saying hi, at least. I’ve been looking for you all night. Recognized you as soon as I saw you over here. Could spot you from a mile away. I know… I know things ended pretty poorly, but the love is still there. That’ll never go away.” You almost didn’t know how to answer, wanting to pry more from him, but also not wanting to know at all.

“Is… is Josh here, too?” You finally asked, knowing the answer before he replied.

“Yeah,” he nodded.

“Is he,” you paused yourself, unsure if the inquiries were pushing a boundary. “okay? I mean, like obviously, but you know.” You rambled, embarrassing yourself slightly.

“He’s Josh.” Jake assured you, a ghost of a smile on his lips. “He misses you. He’s the first to check all of the fashion magazines to see if they’re talking about you. He hasn’t been… quite the same, since everything. He still laughs and drinks and rambles, but he’s a bit more distant, I think.”

“Oh,” you repeated your same proclamation from earlier.

“If you feel up to it, maybe stop and say hello. Even if you don’t talk to him, Sam and Danny would be over the moon to see you.”

“Uh, I don’t know, Jake.” A humourless laugh fell from your lips. “Some things are just better left as is.”

“I don’t think this one is,” he said, eyes boring into you. “It’s completely up to you, sunshine.” He said, smiling warmly to assure you he meant it. Before you could respond, the announcer called out your name; in the height of emotion, you must have missed your introduction. “Don’t leave without saying goodbye, okay?” Jake said, ushering you to the stage. You nodded, downing the last of your champagne before bustling towards the stairs. You were mindful of the skirt of your dress as you walked, fearing you may trip on it and ruin the entrance. Once you had both feet planted safely on the stage, you took to the mic stand.

“Thank you for that kind introduction,” You smiled off to the side of the stage at the host, assuming he had said something kind like he had for the other speakers. Otherwise, you would look a bit like a fool. “It’s fantastic to be here tonight.” You took in a breath, trying not to focus on the crowd staring up at you. “I spent a long time debating on what to say when I got here, tonight. If I’m being completely transparent, I’m still not sure. The boss told me to get up here and tell you about myself, so that’s what I’m going to do.” You started, eyes settling on Liz for some sense of security. You used her as a focal point until your comfortability grew. “It’s intimidating getting on stage and talking about success. Especially when I feel far behind in that department, sometimes. It doesn’t seem to matter how many sales are made, or how many congratulations are spewed; we always seem to be our biggest critic, and I haven’t been able to break that habit, yet. Growing up in Nashville, there was always buzz about the greats and the up and coming stars; this whole city, and state, is full of pride, and for good reason. To think that I can be considered part of it has been mind-blowing. Knowing the support I have from home and all over the world has been incredibly eye opening, and a bit of a confidence boost, too.” You flashed a smile, causing a chorus of laughter from the audience.

“Just over a year ago, I was packing my bags and riddled with anxiety at the thought of jumping on a plane and flying away from everything I’d ever known. Somehow, by the grace of the universe, I’d been selected to participate in New York Fashion Week. When I moved there, there was no true promise of a career, but the publicity certainly seemed like a good place to start. As I flew away from here, all I could hear in my head was a million reasons to turn around and stay home. There was one voice of reason in the swarm of negativity that pushed me to follow my dream, and I’m so thankful I listened to it.” You paused, regaining your breath before you continued on. “When I arrived, I got to meet people I’d been admiring for my entire life; names that I never thought I would get a chance to speak about, let alone speak to them. I walked with pride, even in my ignorance. I had no idea what I was doing, I was just happy to be there. Somehow, in my clumsiness and lack of grace, someone saw potential. I was lucky enough to be graced with a mentor who never gave up on me; one who taught me everything I know. She is my rock, and my mother away from home. I owe every success to her, and I have no shame in saying that.” There was an awe from the crowd, appreciating the sweetness.

“She taught me design, sure, but more so than that, she taught me dedication, pride and the true meaning of hard work.” Another laugh sounded. “After a few months of relentless effort, it started to pay off. A few small companies picked up my designs, using them for miscellaneous projects. But one day, in the dreariness of winter, I was given my most valuable gift; the offer to launch my own line of clothing. Of course, partnered with my parent company, but my own work, with my heart and soul stitched into the seams. I still struggle to believe it’s real.” There was a chorus of cheers at the statement. You gave a smile, rose dusting your cheeks. “In the time from the early stages of production to now, I’ve made incredible memories. There were hard times, lots of tears and challenges, and even a couple nights leaving me with the desire to give up. But I pushed through, persevering only due to the strength that my team gives me every day. Every person I work with played a part in me getting here, and it would be incredibly dishonourable to walk away without thanking them for their hard work, too. I was lucky enough to bring along my assistant, Liz.” You pointed to her in the front row. “She’s been my driving force, my best friend, and my motivation. I have no doubt that she’ll take over for me eventually, or even be bigger than what I am, now. If anyone deserves applause, it’s her.” The crowd gave another round of cheers, causing the younger girl to erupt in a blush, smiling and waving slightly. When the crowd died down, you continued.

“I’m beyond grateful to say the presales for the brand have nearly been sold out already. That is almost unfathomable for me to think about. This morning our company issued an announcement, which I’m sure some have heard by now. After months of relentless efforts, and the dedication from my fantastic colleagues, in addition to launching this new line of clothing, our first outlet will be opening here in Nashville. We thought it only right for my hometown to be the first place to have access to our store. I’m at a loss of words at the moment; I cannot express my gratitude enough.” A round of applause sounded. You couldn’t hold back your grin, looking around the room at all of the beaming faces.

“I want to sincerely thank everyone here for giving me the time to speak. Telling my story still feels very odd, like I shouldn’t have a story to tell. I never expected to be here in my lifetime, let alone at the young age that I am. To be considered a part of Nashville’s pride is an extraordinary feeling, and proof that hard work does pay off. I would be nothing without this city, and to see the love it has for me is a beautiful thing. I also want to say thank you to all of the friends of the past, ones who I don’t necessarily speak with anymore, but I always hold close to me, no matter the distance. There’s a few in the audience tonight, ones who will forever hold a place in my heart. They helped me get here just as much as anyone else.” You gave a soft smile, trying to locate Jake. You caught sight of him, making sure he knew who you were talking about. You ignored the bodies that stood next to him, unsure if you could keep going if you caught Josh’s gaze. “So with that, I won’t keep you any longer. Enjoy your night of festivities. The food is fantastic, and so are the drinks. Thank you for allowing me to share my celebrations with you all, and here’s to a hundred more outlet stores across the world.”

As you stepped off the stage, you were finally able to fully catch your breath. The clapping and cheering didn’t fully dissipate until you rejoined Liz by the beverages. “You did fantastic!” She raved, handing you a new glass of champagne.

“I feel like I’m going to throw up.” You breathed, fanning yourself with your hand. You grabbed the champagne with your other, wanting to drink away the feeling of standing on stage. “This is so stupid, don’t you think?” You asked her. “A bunch of rich people bragging about how rich they are.”

“That’s only some of them. Others are people who worked hard and want to celebrate the success. That’s where you come in.” She gave you a pat on the shoulder. “Thanks for the mention. Made me feel special.”

“You are special,” you laughed. “Takes a certain type of person to be able to put up with me all day.”

“Mm, you seem pretty widely liked. Who was that guy you were talking to?” She pried. You grimaced at the memory of the interaction.

“Uh, that was ex-boyfriends twin brother.” You explained. Her eyes widened at the knowledge, almost as if she didn’t believe you. You were surprised she didn’t catch on. Well, more surprised that she wasn’t eavesdropping. If you were her, you would be.

“Like ex-boyfriend who broke up with you because you moved to New York?”

“That’s the one.” You nodded. She knew about Josh, but mostly just the basics. She was well aware of the constant internal battle of still loving him and hating his guts. “Jake was my best friend, too, though. Just ‘cause me and Josh ended badly doesn’t mean I don’t love him.” You shrugged.

“So do we hate Josh today, or love him?” She raised an eyebrow.

“To be determined.” You grabbed a napkin off the table and one of the more appetizing looking foods.

“Is he here?” You nodded.

“Whole band is. I’m not surprised. They have an album and a world tour coming up.”

“So you keep tabs on them,” she smirked.

“Yeah, obviously. You wouldn’t?”

“Fair enough.” She conceded. “Are you going to talk to him?”

You didn’t answer, mostly because you weren’t sure yourself. You had no idea if you wanted to talk to him, and no idea if he wanted to talk to you. You weren’t mad at her for being curious. She’d been trying to set you up on dates the entire time she’d known you, but you always turned them down. She only clued in to why after you told her about Josh. You had no interest in dating anyone, mostly because you were certain nobody would ever compare to him. The other part of you was terrified of getting hurt like that again. When Josh let you walk out without as much as a shred of hesitation, it shattered you. He was everything; the one thing in your life you’d ever been 100% certain of. Leaving him behind was gut wrenching, but knowing he didn’t care enough to fight for you was worse. You always believed he loved you enough to not care about the distance; the few tours he’d done while you were dating never proved to be an issue. You had a hard time swallowing the truth that he didn’t mind the distance as long as he wasn’t the one waiting at home.

“I don’t know, Liz.” You sighed. “It’s been a long time. I think it’s better to just let it go.”

“If you still love him this much after all of this time, maybe you shouldn’t.” You placed the flute to your lips, tipping your head back and taking another long drink of champagne.

“You’ll learn soon enough not to listen to your heart all of the time. Brain knows best.” You reminded. “And stop being an instigator, you little shit.” You laughed. She smiled, but her eyes were following something behind you. You furrowed your eyebrows at her sudden disinterest in you, finding it odd.

“Better turn your heart off, then.” She let out a quick mumble of words. She’d recognized him just from the similarities to his brother. There was no mistaking who he was, or who he was intending to talk to.

“What?” You questioned, turning your head to look in the direction of her gaze. As soon as you did, you wished you hadn’t.

Your heart sped, stomach erupting into nervous butterflies. Your palms were sweating and your breath was stuck in your throat. Josh was there, approaching you with intent. He looked different; his hair was fluffier, shaved down on the sides. He had facial hair, too, although not much. He really looked like he’d grown up since the last time you’d seen him. But, if you had to admit it, you did, too. No more kids pretending to be grown ups with too many hopes and dreams; real adults with real professions. Adults that admittedly, had been very stupid. Adults that were still very much hurting over the mistakes their younger selves made. The difference 18 months can make was staggering, you realized.

His confidence faltered once he caught your eyes. He was certain he was going to fall to his knees, weak just from the sight of you in front of him again. As he walked, he debated turning around, pretending he’d never seen you at all. But, he was certain there was a gleam of hope in your eye, and that drove him to keep going. “I’ll catch up with you later,” Liz said, quickly shuffling away to give you a moment of privacy. By the time she was out of sight, he was in front of you. The scent of incense and lingering cologne hit you like a ton of bricks. It was a scent you’d been craving for a long time, unmistakably Josh. Unmistakably home. The both of you stood, unsure of where to start. The emotion was too intense for a simple hello, but the uncertainty limited you both from saying anything else.

You looked over his face, taking in his features, studying him as if you were trying to memorize him all over again. He did look different, his jaw a bit more prominent and overall looked a bit more serious than he used to. Still, under the new facade, he was in there. The Josh you fell in love with was undoubtedly standing in front of you, just rebranded. You realized he couldn’t change enough to take away the type of love you had for him, for it was undying. “Is this the part where we cause a scene and I throw my drink at you?” You asked. The corner of his lips upturned into a smirk.

“If you feel the need to, I suppose I could understand why.” You returned the expression, happy to know that the spark was still there. At least to you, it was.

“How’ve you been, Josh?” You whispered. You were certain a flash of hurt crossed his eyes as the words left your lips. It was one that told you he thought too much of you for such simplistic small-talk. One that screamed rejection at the formalities, especially considering you both knew each other better than anyone else.

“Travelling the world.” He shrugged, but that’s all he gave. “What about you, Sunshine?” The sound of the nickname coming from his lips could have sent you straight to your knees. You had to take a long breath before you could respond, feeling the need to recover from his question.

“Dressing up and pretending I fit in with these people.”

“Pretending?” He challenged. “Could’ve fooled me.” You gave a soft smile. “That speech was phenomenal.”

“Suppose I’ve grown into the part, now.”

“Crazy what a year and a half can do, eh?” You caught his eyes, feeling your heart ache at the sea of brown you’d been missing so much. “Not like anyone was counting, though.” He added, trying to pass it off as a joke, afraid to let the vulnerability through.

“Yeah,” you agreed. “You look good.” You finally said, airing out what you wanted to admit. He chuckled.

“Have you looked in a mirror, lately? Success looks fantastic on you.” He breathed. “I didn’t think you could get any prettier, but you always seem to surprise me.” Your heart fluttered at the compliment.

“You’re all looking quite spectacular, actually. I’d like to meet your stylist. Seems like they really know what they’re doing. The stage outfits are a masterpiece. Maybe I could work with them, if you’re willing to open up a spot for an old friend.” You smiled, a warm one without any dishonest undertones. He let out a small laugh, nodding along to your statement.

“I’m sure we could work something out. We’d all be pretty thrilled to have you on board with us.” A painful moment ensued, one where you clearly picked up on his refrain. He was talking in broadness to avoid letting you know how badly he’d enjoy having you around, again. “Did you maybe want to go somewhere a bit more private?” He asked, breaking the silence you’d fallen into.

“Yeah, that would be alright.” You nodded. “Think I need a few drinks for this conversation, though.” You finished the last of your champagne and grabbed two more flutes. He nodded, appreciating the idea, then grabbed two for himself. He was grateful you hadn’t turned around and walked away. A simple hello was more than he was expecting from the conversation.

He led you in the direction of a side door, opening it and holding it for you. You slipped out, noticing that it revealed a patio area. The night was cool, but clear. The stars twinkled few and far between, and the moon casted a low light over the ground. There were a few tables and chairs places spaciously around the deck, the posts adorned with swirls of string lights. It would have been quite romantic had the mood not been so sullen. He pulled out a chair for you, inviting you to sit down. You did so, placing your glasses on the table. He pulled a chair from the other side of the table towards you. He settled in front of you, a little bit closer than ex’s should sit.

He took a long look at you, drinking in every detail and finding himself intoxicated from it. He’d wished for so long to have you in front of him again that he seemed to forget the effect you had on him. It had only gotten worse with time. He looked to be waiting for you to speak first, so you did. “Why’d you let me go that night?” Your voice was barely above a whisper.

“I was stupid.” He admitted.

“Yeah,” you nodded, agreeing with him.

“Why’d you leave like that?” He asked, challenging your question. You looked up at him, disbelief clouding your expression.

“You made me choose, Josh.” You reminded him, not willing to take the blame for the situation.

“And you didn’t choose me.” He said, not in an accusatory fashion. Just in a simple sense, as if he was recalling the night as you spoke.

“I didn’t want to choose at all.” You explained. “You were asking me to pick between the two things I wanted most in life. It’s not like I walked into that conversation planning to leave you.”

“You chose a job over me, y/n.” You shot him a look, one that he knew all too well. It would take a lifetime to forget it.

“What if it was the other way around? You know you wouldn’t have picked me over music.” He kept his gaze on you, almost smiling, despite the situation being completely humourless.

“I certainly would have thought about it.” He answered. You could see he meant it, but you weren’t sure if he understood the implications of what he was saying.

“Okay.” You nodded, acknowledging his answer. “Come to New York with me.” You said, crossing your arms in front of your chest. You thought his eyes were going to pop out of his head.

“What?”

“Come to New York with me.” You repeated, refusing to back down. He didn’t need to know you’d likely be staying in Nashville at least for the foreseeable future. He didn’t need to know your bags were packed at your apartment, waiting for you to return just so you could pick them up. Your homecoming was set in stone, but you needed to see if he realized the extent of his answer.

“Things are different, now, y/n.” He said, dismissing the subject.

“Pretend they’re not.” You urged. “Please.”

“I would fly to see you on the weekends. Stay with you as much as I could. But I couldn’t move there.” He said. You nodded along to his words, begging for him to see the issue in his statement.

“What if that’s not good enough? It’s all or nothing, Josh.” You felt your anger that you’d suppressed for so long begin to surface. “It’s me or the band.” You leaned forward, catching his eyes as he tried to look away from you.

“I get it, okay!” He finally exploded, likely feeling the same way you did. “I know what I did wasn’t right. I’ve spent a year and a half trying to forgive myself for it. But you were so caught up in being mad that you didn’t even stop to think about how I felt!” Rarely did you ever see Josh yell, let alone expel frustration the way he was doing in that moment. You were taken back, but not distracted from your feelings.

“Then tell me!” You pleaded. “You wouldn’t even look at me that night! All you said was you didn’t have anything to say to me, but clearly you do, so say it!”

“Fine, you want to hear it?” He asked, leaning forward, too. “I love, but I don’t fall in love with people. Never have. Thought it was too much commitment for such a short lifetime. I spent my entire life completely fine with never settling down. Then I met you, and you changed everything! I didn’t even get to decide whether I fell in love with you or not. By the time I started to realize how much you meant to me, I was already head over heels. I spent every day of my life, for three years, falling more in love with you every day that passed; I changed my whole outlook because you showed up and made me realize maybe I just hadn’t met the right person, and that’s why I never wanted to commit. We moved in together, and I started picturing this life with you, one where you had my last name and we had a few kids. Then you left. You just came home one day and said you were leaving, as if it weren’t an earth-shattering idea. I was so mad because you changed my entire life, and then you took it away!” You understood better, now. He felt abandoned, and you caused it. He never would have admitted it to you then, and he barely wanted to, now. Still, the idea of him thinking you were going to walk away and forget all about him stung like no other.

“I didn’t leave you, Josh. I left Nashville!” You exclaimed. “I never pictured a life without you, and I still don’t! I sit at my apartment alone and hope that maybe you’ll text me, or call, or show up! But you never did, so I had to learn how to deal with it!”

“It was the same thing, y/n! You left me behind for a whole new life. If we didn’t break up that night, we would have anyway!” You’re recoiled as if he’d burned you. “I didn’t call because you were perfectly fine leaving me here! You jumped on that plane and got to start over, and I got to sleep in a bed that haunted me with your presence!”

“It wasn’t the same, Josh.” You shook your head. “I sat at home in that apartment every day when you were touring the world, watching you live your dream from the sidelines. Watching girls throw themselves at you, always wondering if maybe I’d wake up one day and you’d find someone new. I waited for you, watching your life through a phone screen while I worked my shitty 9-5 and settled for video calls whenever you had time for me. Not once did I make you feel like shit about it. But the minute I get a chance at the life I’ve always dreamed of, it was a choice? One or the other? It wasn’t fucking fair, Josh. How was I supposed to stay after that?”

“You started dating me knowing that was my life! I spent three years with you building one of our own, one that we were used to, and comfortable with, one where we were happy. You came home one day and told me you’re getting on a plane and leaving for god knows how long. There was no discussion, I just had to be okay with it!” He was leaning closer with every word. Your faces were inches apart, both of you radiating with anger and on the defensive.

“Of course you were, Josh! You were my boyfriend! I told you I got invited to model in New York Fashion Week, and you made me feel like I didn’t have it in me, like you were already waiting for me to fail and come crawling back to you! You let me walk out that door like the three years we spent together meant nothing to you. Like you were only okay with being in love with me as long as it benefited you.” Tears were brimming in your eyes, the ache of the pain from that night still as prominent as it was a year prior. “You knew how much it meant to me. It was my biggest dream, one that I thought I would never achieve. I finally had a chance to live the life I always wanted, which still in included you, by the way, but you were too stubborn to understand anything other than your hurt. I would have came home every weekend to see you, called you every night, I would have done anything, because you were my whole world! You were supposed to support me, and you left me! I walked out that night, but you made that decision!” The tears spilled on to your cheeks, finally shed after so long holding them back. In the heat of the moment, at the sight of your hurt, he threw the anger and the fighting to the side. Without hesitation, his arms shot out and pulled you into a hug. You didn’t fight, just held him, too. As upset as you were, you knew that his hold was something you’d been longing for the whole time you were apart. The way he felt wrapped around you made you believe that the world was okay; the comfort was an impenetrable force.

“I never wanted to make you feel that way.” He whispered, holding your head securely in his palm. He used his other one to rub circles on your back. “I will always be your biggest fan, even if we never speak again after tonight. I’m so proud of you, and I can’t stress that enough. I was selfish, and I know that. You did so much for me, you always supported me, and I took it for granted. I was hurt when you left, but I never should have let you leave like that. I should have been there for you, cheering you on the same way you did for me.” He hesitated, but placed a kiss to the top of your head. When you didn’t recoil, he took it as a win. “I’m so sorry, y/n.”

“I am, too.” You said, the tears finally slowing. You pulled back, although quite hesitant in the action. He let you, but didn’t remove his hand from you. Instead, his thumb drifted to your cheek to wipe away the tears that had fallen. “It was never from a lack of love, Josh. When it comes to you, that’s not even a possibility. Breaking up with you was never an idea in my head. The distance didn’t scare me, because I knew I loved you enough to work through anything. When you wanted me to choose, I panicked. I was hurt, and I reacted based on that. I shouldn’t have walked out without fixing things. That was my mistake.”

“No, y/n. I shouldn’t have put you in that position, and I never should have let you leave like that. I was hurting and I was scared, I thought you would leave and forget about me. I didn’t want to lose you, but I ended up losing you, anyway, and I still haven’t recovered. It’s the worst thing that’s ever happened to me.” You leaned into his touch, resting your head on his hand.

“Josh, I fell in love with you the day I met you. That never changed. I still walk around New York City, hoping I run into you, praying it won’t be like this forever. Your memory lives in everything I do; I couldn’t forget about you, even if I wanted to. Trust me, I’ve tried.” You laughed. “You’re the love of my life, whether it was only for a period of time or if we still have a chance. Nobody could ever replace you.”

“I never moved out of the apartment. It’s still decorated the same. It still has little reminders of you, everywhere. I couldn’t bring myself to get rid of them. Jake thinks I’m insane, or I’m torturing myself. I guess I just thought you’d come back for them, someday.” He confessed. “I still love you the same as I did a year ago.”

“Me, too.” You closed your eyes, hoping to hold on to the memory of his words forever. “So we’ve both been waiting for each other to come back this whole time? We’ve just been too stubborn to send a message first?”

“Yeah,” he laughed. “Both of us watching the others lives through social media, the most impersonal way possible.”

“You looked so happy. I was worried you were happier without me.” He scoffed, rolling his eyes at the statement.

“See? Impersonal. I’ve been miserable, mama.” Your heart soared at the term of endearment. You reached for your champagne glass, taking a sip, careful not to let your eyes leave him.

“Yeah, me too.” You eventually laughed. “We don’t have to be miserable, anymore. Not tonight, at least.” You said, wanting to blame the advance on the alcohol, but knowing deep down that it was wholly untrue.

“Are you saying what I think you are?” He raised an eyebrow. The Josh you knew so well was starting to make an appearance, again. You gave a shrug.

“I have a room upstairs with free room service. King bed, too.” He looked at you with intrigue, wanting to jump at the chance but still being afraid your judgement was clouded. He didn’t want you to regret it in the morning.

“There’s probably still a lot we could get off our chests. Did you want to talk more, first? I just want you to be sure this is what you want.” You stood, drinking the last of the liquid from your glass and moving on to the next.

“Fuck, Josh, I’ve never been more sure of anything in my entire life. We can figure it out in the morning. I haven’t had sex in a year and a half, and I’m tired of waiting. I want you.” He took a deep inhale at the words, fighting the urge to take your clothes off right there. He stood, too, grabbing his own champagne glasses. He had no fight left in him, because he wanted you just as bad.

“Lead the way, mama.” For a moment, things felt right. Like no time had passed and you were both the same people as you were before all of the hurt. You turned on your heels, heading back to the door you came through, earlier. He was hot on your trail, not willing to let you leave his sight.

You slipped back inside, noticing the speeches had come to a close and the lights were off. The music was louder and the mood lighting really set the tone for the rest of the night. If you weren’t in such an entanglement, you thought you might enjoy it. But, you were certain that the nights events would top whatever enjoyment the ballroom could give you. You dropped off your empty glasses on the way by, watching Josh discard his, too. You reached out for him, looking back over your shoulder. He tangled his fingers with yours, over the moon at the feeling after so long without it. You guided him to the exit, managing to sneak out without too many curious glances. Liz, however, noticed you as soon as you came back inside. Josh’s brothers did, too. All of them were well aware that it wasn’t over between the two of you, and it never would be. They were waiting for the reunion just as much as the two of you were.

You both ran down the hallway to the elevator, giggles slipping out intermittently. When the doors opened, allowing you inside, Josh jumped at the moment of seclusion. His hand found your waist, pulling you into him like it was the most natural thing in the world. His free hand guided your chin upwards, finally taking the chance to lean down and kiss you. You melted into the feeling, closing your eyes in bliss. It was sweet, no provocative nature present. Just both of you savouring the moment in which you’d been denied of for months. When the ding signified your destination was reached, his wandering hands were reluctant to pull away. Thankfully, your room wasn’t too far away, meaning he wouldn’t have to wait too long to continue.

You keyed into your room, barely getting the door closed before he was back on you. You both kicked off your shoes, leading him further inside before things got too heated. You parted from him to click on the lamp by your bedside. He took the chance to admire you, now. No more residual tension was clouding his vision. “You look stunning, y/n.” You turned to him, a smile on your lips.

“You look pretty good yourself, Joshua.” He approached again, slower and more cautious. He raised his hand to your cheek, brushing away all of the hair obscuring the sight of your face.

“Has it really been that long?” He didn’t need to clarify; you knew what he was asking. You gave a nod, hoping you didn’t have to dive into it too far. In truth, you didn’t want to hear a submission of guilt from him. If he’d been with other people in your time apart, it was his free will, and you couldn’t be upset about it. There was no disloyalty of any kind, but you certainly didn’t want to imagine it.

“I guess it never felt right. Always felt like I was still yours, I think.” You shrugged. He smiled at the words, overjoyed at the profession.

“Me either,” he said, running his thumb over your cheek. “I was always yours, too.” You let out a sigh of relief, almost feeling the need to cry again. The entire night felt so surreal, almost as if you were dreaming.

“God, please tell me this is real life. I don’t want to wake up disappointed.” You pleaded. He chuckled, finding the statement quite cute.

“It’s real, mama. Trust me, I feel the same way.” He leaned down, kissing you once more. Your hand reached for him, landing somewhere on his side. You didn’t care where it landed, only that you were touching him again. “Sounds like we’ve got a lot of time to make up for.” He stated, pulling back just enough to get the words out. A laugh fell from your lips, one that was quiet and still laced with disbelief. “Turn around for me.” You obliged, spinning to face the other direction.

His fingers drifted over your exposed skin, gathering your hair and pushing it to the side. He unzipped your dress, gently brushing the silk straps from your shoulders. He leaned forward pressing his lips to the spots they once graced. You let out a hum of delight, closing your eyes at the sensation. He let you decide whether you wanted to let the fabric fall, and you did. It dropped with as much elegance as it held while you adorned it on your body. He bent down, waiting for you to step away from it. Once you did, he cautiously picked it from the ground, gently laying it over the chair by the bedside. Once it was safely out of the way, he finally turned to look at you again. His breath caught in his throat, completely taken off guard at the sight of you naked before him once again.

“My beautiful girl,” he whispered, taking a step towards you. You were standing, completely naked aside from your underwear, at full disposal for whatever he chose to do with you. There was no worry in your body; the minute his hands found you again, you were certain you’d found home, again. After so long wandering through life, gaining success but never really feeling like you belonged, it made sense again. All of the money and the fame was satisfying, but never fulfilling. His touch reminded you of why everybody loved to say money can’t buy happiness. There was no financial value that would ever equate to the feeling of being loved by Josh. If you were put on earth for a purpose, it was to be loved by him, and to love him. Nobody could look at you and see right into your soul the way he could; he knew every part of you without even looking or having to ask. “Lay down, baby.” He insisted.

You allowed him to guide you down on the bed, your head finding home in the nest of pillows. He rid himself of his jacket, and his shirt wasn’t long following. You watching him in awe, not being able to comprehend how one boy could posses so much beauty. It was in everything he did, his words, his actions, his appearance. He was perfect. He slipped out of his pants, climbing in bed with you. He pulled you into his arms, just enjoying the intimacy for a moment. Eventually, you were both stripped naked and tangled in each others limbs. As heated as the journey to your room was, sex was no longer the most pressing thought in your heads. You found yourself lost in chatter, laughing and giggling at stories you’d been longing to tell each other for the last year. In between, there were stolen kisses; some short, and others laced with neediness. No sexual gratification would compare to the emotional connection you started to restore.

Eventually, he found himself laying between your legs, mouth exploring the spots on your neck he was aching to reunite with. Every so often, his teeth or tongue would grace over a sensitive area, pushing a breathy moan from your lips. The sounds were heavenly, ones he thought he’d never get the chance to hear again. “I want you, Josh.” You sighed, finally growing restless after the hours of relentless teasing.

“Tell me what you want, gorgeous.” He hummed against your collarbone.

“You. I don’t care, anything, please.” You sighed, not caring about the desperation. You felt him smile against you, clearly pleased with the state you were in.

“You want me to touch you?” He asked, fingers ghosting over your rib cage, sending a jolt of electricity through.

“Please,” he brought the pad of his thumb to your nipple, brushing it over you. He watched as you drew in a shaky breath. If there was one thing you knew about Josh, it was that he loved viewing sex as a marathon. If you were to let him, he’d go all night, dragging it out as much as possible. Tonight, you couldn’t take it. He could tell how you were feeling without you saying it aloud, not finding it in himself to push you any further. He let his hand drift downwards, shifting his weight onto one side so he had better access to you. He slipped his fingers between your legs, running them through you and getting a feel for your arousal. Your back arched at the feeling, it was familiar yet almost foreign.

“All of this for me, pretty girl?” He asked, running your wetness up to your clit. He slowly rubbed circles, just light enough to allow you to adjust to the feeling. You muttered a curse under your breath, almost having forgotten how acquainted he was with your body. His fingers kept a steady pace, gradually applying more pressure as he continued on. His eyes remained on your face, wishing to engrave your expression into every part of his brain so he could never forget it.

As his hand explored you, his lips did, too. His mouth drifted across your exposed stomach, trailing kisses all over the skin. Eventually, he worked his way up to your breasts, pulling a hardened nipple into his mouth, grazing his teeth and tongue over it, begging for a reaction. When he heard a whine fall from your lips, he closed his eyes in satisfaction. He slipped his finger down towards your entrance, moving his thumb to your clit in place. He pushed his middle and ring finger inside you, starting at an agonizingly slow pace. His thumb brushed over your clit with every pump of his fingers. The sensation was much more intense than you remembered it, maybe because of the depravity of the feeling, or because you missed him so much.

The sex was slow, much slower than it used to be. Both of you wanted to savour the experience as much as you could. But the praise, the words, even the way he worshiped you like you were the most beautiful thing to walk the earth was all the same. Neither of you allowed any of the negativity to change the way you appreciated each other. You’d been with plenty of people before Josh, but never any who loved you in the way he did. Every touch was sacred, filled with love and tenderness, even if the act wasn’t supposed to feel that way. As stupid as you felt about waiting so long for him, you were thankful you did. Nobody could make you feel the way he did. The wait just resulted in the usual pleasure being escalated by a thousand.

“Does that feel good, mama?” He asked, finally pausing his assault on your breasts. He looked up to you, eyelids heavy and lust clouding his pupils.

“So good, Josh.” You sighed, looking down to meet his gaze. He gave you a lazy smile, content at the confirmation.

“Did you miss me?” He questioned, his tone dropping slightly. He curled his fingers upward with the next movement, causing a gasp to fall from you. “Hmm?” He hummed, still waiting for you to answer.

“Missed you so much.” You admitted, eyelids fluttered closed at the pleasure he was causing.

“Think she missed me, too.” He muttered, eyes flowing down towards his hand working into your cunt. You swallowed hard at the words, taken off guard by the cockiness but knowing he was speaking truth. His jaw clenched, clearly pleased with the sight. He was good at putting his pleasure aside to ensure yours, but you knew him well enough to recognize what his expression meant. He’d been depraved of this, too, and the view was driving him insane. “Right?” He asked for clarification, his chest rising at his deep inhale.

“Yeah,” you whispered, a pressure beginning to build in your belly.

“She knows she belongs to me.” He hummed. Your face flushed at the statement, unsure where the possessiveness was coming from. That was something quite new; before, he always acted as though the access to your body was a gift. The simple statement dripped with entitlement, but you didn’t mind. He was right. No matter how much distance between you, or how much time passed, you were his. You didn’t mind the claim in the slightest. In fact, you enjoyed it.

“Fuck, Josh,” you let your head fall back on the pillows, the knot in your stomach tightening more with every second that passed.

“Yeah?” He beamed, knowing exactly what the warning was for. “Look at me, mama. Wanna see that pretty face while you cum.” He pleaded. You were in no state to deny him the request, eyes falling back on him. He was watching you, desperate to see your expression. His movements remained steady, gently coaxing the orgasm from you. Your mouth fell open slightly, a sharp inhale sounding as the pressure peaked and sent you into a down-spiral. You managed his name through the intense wave of moans, eyes squeezed shut and all of your muscles tensed. He rode you through it, whispering notes of encouragement as you were clenched around his hand.

When you relaxed against him, he let out a long breath. The tail end dissolved into a groan, absolutely floored at the sight he had just experienced. “Was that good, baby?” He asked, slowly pulling his fingers from you. You sighed at the loss of contact, still yearning for more.

“So, so good, Josh.” You didn’t mind fuelling his ego, because it was well deserved. At first, you wanted to blame the quickness of your orgasm on the length of time it had been since you had one. Deep down, you knew it wasn’t true. Josh had the ability to make you cum simply by looking at you with enough intent. It had everything to do with him, and you knew nobody else could ever affect you in the same way.

“Can’t believe you had nobody to take care of you for so long,” he let out a disapproving tsk, slowly sinking down further on the bed. “All of those New York boys really missed out.” His soft lips grazed over the inside of your thigh. “A woman like you deserves more than that.” His teeth sunk into the flesh, causing you to jump at the sudden sensation. “What was it, mama? Couldn’t find anyone to fuck you right?” Your jaw clenched at the profanity of his statement. You were well aware that he was only messing with you just for show, so you played into his game.

“Mhm,” you agreed. “Nobody could fuck me like you, Josh.” You told him, lowering your tone. The muscle in his jaw tensed at the confession.

“No?” He asked, lips dangerously close to your heat. “My poor baby.” He sympathized, his facial hair gently tickling the skin of your legs. “I’ll always treat you right, honey.”

“Mhm,” you hummed, agreeing with him.

“Y’know I’ll give you whatever you want, whenever you want it. Always fuck you like you just how you like it.” The teasing was torturous; you needed him more than you needed water. It wasn’t a desire, it was necessary for survival.

“I know you will, baby.” You breathed, your sultry tone quickly dissolving into whiny.

“That’s why you’ll always come home to me, right?” He asked, dipping his head even closer to your cunt. “You know who you belong to, beautiful.” You gave a nod of desperation. “Wanna hear you say it, mama.”

“You, Josh. I’m all yours. Only yours.” You promised. A smile graced his face.

“Sounds so pretty when you say it like that.” He was trying not to sound needy himself; his mouth was practically watering at the sight before him. He almost felt wrong teasing you in such a way, because he was certain he was more desperate for you than he’d ever been. “I’d treat you better than that. I’d fuck you every day if I could, just to make sure you know what you deserve. Just to make sure you were happy.” He explained, feeling his guilt resurface. You felt your heart ache at the statement, the words reminding you that as good as you felt, things weren’t the same as they used to be. He saw the emotion flash across your face, realizing how his statement may have come off in a context he didn’t intend. “I can, and I will, if you’ll let me.” He let down the act for a moment, fully letting you see into his heart.

“Yeah,” you managed to muster out. “I’d like that.” He couldn’t hold back the look of happiness that forced its way onto his face.

“Be mine again, baby. Promise I’ll make up for everything. I’ll never let you get away again.” He whispered, but he was pleading with you. There was no way he could walk away from you after this. It would kill him.

“Okay,” you agreed, no hesitation present. It wasn’t the alcohol, or the sex talking. You wanted him, and you were certain of that before you’d even spoken to him. Maybe everybody else was right, you thought. This wasn’t one of those things that you couldn’t walk away from. If you did, you’d be 80 years old and still wondering what it would be like to love him again. When it came to Josh, it was never over. Just a wrong turn that ultimately led you back to the same destination.

He let the thought settle in his soul; no more yearning for someone he wasn’t sure he would ever have again. The universe had granted him another chance, and he’d be damned if he took it for granted a second time. You were his again, and he was yours, as if that was ever untrue in the first place. He wasted no more time, slipping his arms under your thighs and pulling you down on his mouth. He let his tongue run through you, savouring the feeling and moaning against you. He was eating you as if he was a starved man offered his first meal in weeks. In his eyes, he was. Being depraved of the home he’d found between your legs was a terrible feeling, and he never wanted to feel it again.

You let a moan out, your hands snaking down to his hair. You noticed the lack of it on the sides, understanding that it would be hard to get used to. Instead of focusing on the difference, you tangled your fingers in the hair still atop his head, losing yourself to the familiarity of his tongue. You couldn’t help but admire him through the waves of pleasure, the way he got enjoyment out of making you feel good, how pretty he looked with his head nestled between your thighs. You noticed the way his hips would grind into the mattress, just enough to give him a bit of relief, or the way he was completely lost in you, not having a notice for anything other that what was in front of him. You had no doubt he would stay there forever, if you let him.

He pulled back for a moment, just to catch another look of your face. “Taste so good, baby. Even better than I remember.” He slipped his thumb in place of his tongue, just so he didn’t lose the progress he was making. “Missed having you like this. Thought about it every fucking night.”

“I thought about it too, all of the time.” You sighed, mesmerized by the emotion he adorned in his eyes. He returned his other fingers to you, pumping them in time with his thumb for a moment. He studied you for a while before he returned to work with his mouth. The combined feeling of him pumping his fingers into you, and his tongue focused on your clit was overwhelming.

You were nearing a second orgasm, desperate for him to keep going. He could sense it in your breathing, the tugs at his hair, and the profanities you were expelling every so often. He remained steady, curling his fingers every so often in attempt to find the spot inside you he knew so well. He hit a particularly sensitive spot, causing your hips to buck forward. He didn’t have to say it aloud for you to know he enjoyed it; a groan produced from deep in his chest, his fingers attempting to get the same reaction from you again. You closed your eyes, unable to focus on anything other than the knot tightening in your belly.

“Josh,” you breathed, a verbal warning that you were close. He hummed against you, encouraging you. Your head fell back, blissfully unaware of anything other than the feeling of his tongue. Soon after, you were coming undone again, crying his name and quickly dissolving into a mess. He coaxed you through it, more dedicated to making you feel good rather than getting the satisfaction of seeing your face.

When you came down, he didn’t ease up; his tongue was still determined, fingers never slowing. Even in the burning oversensitivity, you couldn’t help but still enjoy the moment. You were certain that after 18 long months, he could cause you nothing but physical pain and you’d still enjoy it, just because he was the one doing it. Part of you wished he never had to stop, because you never wanted to come down from the high of the intimacy. The overpowering sensation was driving you insane, the previous orgasm never really having a chance to dissipate before the next began to bloom. The noises you were making were filthy, pornographic, almost. Josh was almost praying the walls were thinner than they appeared, cocky enough to know how good he was making you feel and egotistical enough to want everyone to know it.

When your third orgasm was begging you to let go, you couldn’t even get the words out to warn him. Your knuckles were white against the hold on his hair, all of your muscles rigid and lungs aching for a full breath. It took little time for you to reach your peak, panting heavily and glistening with a thin layer of sweat. This time, he slowed his movements as your body relaxed. He removed his tongue first, followed by his fingers once he knew you were back to earth. “There you go, mama.” He sighed. His lips ghosted over your torso as he inched his way up your body. “That’s all you needed, hmm?” He hummed, sucking a few marks into your collarbone. “Someone to take care of you,” his head nuzzled back into the crook of your neck, mouth exploring the area once again. “Someone who knows how to make you feel good?” His moustache tickled the sensitive skin, causing a tired giggle to fall from you. You could feel him smile against you in response to the sound.

“I want you, Josh.” You said. As fantastic as he was making you feel, your patience was non-existent. It had been too long since you’d had him, and you didn’t feel willing to wait any longer. He lifted his head from your neck, eyes scanning your face for a moment. His lips upturned into a smirk, likely feeling similar.

“You want me?” He whispered, already shifting between your legs for a better position. You gave him a nod. “How bad, beautiful?”

“So bad, baby. It’s been so long.” You admitted, not willing to challenge him in the slightest. His fingers gently grazed over your hips, a moment of innocent love before such a dirty act. He pulled you towards him, grabbing your legs and guiding them over his shoulders. The excitement brewing in your stomach was barely containable.

“Been so good for me, mama. Won’t make you wait any longer.” He promised. You felt his hand leave you, moving down to guide himself towards your entrance. Without another word, he pushed himself inside you. You both let out a sigh of relief, finally feeling at peace with each other. The battle of experiencing so much pent up love with nowhere to channel it had come to an end; the solution to the issue being clear the whole time, but only now was it truly acknowledged. You needed each other, and no distance would change that. There was no separation or heartbreak big enough to rid yourselves of the connection you had. You both knew that before the night dissolved into the current situation, but it was only solidified further once you both felt what it was like to be reunited in such a way. There was no way you could walk away from each other again.

His hips moved slowly, the only motive being the need to feel the closeness. The movements were barely stimulating, but more than pleasurable to you both. “God, y/n.” He hissed, sucking in a long breath through his teeth. He pulled you closer to him by your thighs, thrusting as he did so and causing a gasp from you. “Feel so fucking good.” He picked up the pace, realizing he was only torturing you both. The memory of him inside you was nothing in comparison to the real thing. The angle allowed the tip of his cock to brush your cervix, sending a jolt of electricity through you each time. “Wish I could have you like this forever.”

“Me, too.” You groaned, your hand reaching out in desperation for his. He met your gesture, pulling your hand into his and resting them on your thigh. His eyes were closed, intently focusing on his movements, making sure he kept a steady rhythm. The low light of the lamp was casted over his face, allowing you to really admire his beauty. The slight furrow of his eyebrows, the tension in his jaw as he fucked into you, his lips that always looked so soft and inviting. He was a masterpiece, and you felt lucky to even be able to experience him in such a way. His free hand found your breast, at first just a gentle acknowledgment, but then he took your nipple between his fingers and applied a bit of pressure. The shock lit up your face, causing him to give you a small smirk. As much as he loved to please you, he loved to be an asshole, too.

It was all in the nature of the relationship; the time that passed didn’t change the dynamic. You both still seemed to be on the same wavelength, remembering what the other liked, incorporating small humorous expressions and actions to lighten the intensity. You were grateful that he was still so familiar to you. It took the nervousness away, and made sex feel lighthearted and carefree. There was never a worry of embarrassment or fear of judgement. He was your best friend, still, after everything, and he was making sure you knew that. The same goofy, sweet boy from the beginning.

You could tell he was growing bored with the position. As much as he loved the feeling, you knew what he wanted, and you were fully willing to give it to him. “Lay down,” you told him. His eyes connected with yours, an unspoken question of certainty. You gave a nod, and he didn’t wasn’t any time pulling out of you. He collapsed onto the bed beside you, turning towards you and practically pulling you on top of him. He had a grin plastered across his face, cheeks a bit rosy and eyelids heavy.

“You know me so well.” He said softly, almost as if he were talking to himself.

“You act like you’re the only one who enjoys this position.” You rolled your eyes.

“I know you do, but I really like it.” His excitement was clear in his face. You couldn’t help but smile, too.

“Yeah, ‘cause you don’t have to do any work.” You joked, securing your legs on either side of him. You lifted yourself up, reaching down to guide him back into you.

“No, ‘cause you look so pretty on top of me.” He answered, tone of voice matching yours. His hands found your hips, slowly bringing you down on him. “I’d be happy to do the work as long as I get to see you like this.” You couldn’t find the words to reply, already lost in the new position, revelling in the angle and depth he was reaching inside you. You began to roll your hips on him, slowly catching up to speed. “Oh, and because I can do this, now.” He reached around, pinching your ass between his index finger and his thumb. Your eyes widened, giving him a look of bewilderment. He gave a chuckle, keeping his hand there and gently running his thumb over the spot he’d just hurt.

“Not being very nice to someone who’s trying to get you off,” you grumbled. He erupted into a real laugh, giving his head a small shake.

“Don’t have to try very hard, mama. Never did.” He joked, but there was a hint of truth to the statement. “But, I suppose I could be a little nicer. Since you’re being so good to me.” He brought his free hand up to your cheek, brushing the hair from your face. You leaned into his palm, closing your eyes in content. You were still moving your hips, just enough to satisfy the craving while he joked with you. It felt so natural, so familiar. It felt like home.

“You’ll be nice for a while, then you’ll do something to piss me off again. It’s just what you do.” You giggled, remembering his constant antics to get on your nerves. It was intolerable by times, but always in the most loving and sincere way possible.

“You love me.” He stated, in a completely relaxed, natural way. Your breath caught in your throat at the word, surprised that it made an appearance again so soon. He said it as if he’d never stopped saying it in the first place. He finally noticed what he said, expression losing its humour almost instantly. “I hope you do, at least.” He mumbled.

“I do,” you whispered, nodding your head. “I really do.” You were overcome with emotion, swallowing back the tears begging to be shed at the statement. The high intensity of the emotions in the room were unimaginable, and they hadn’t subsided all night. A small smile graced his lips as a laugh filled with relief sounded from him.

“God, it’s been so long since I’ve heard you say that.” He guided your head down, connecting your mouths in a gesture of gratitude. “Too long.” He mumbled against your lips. You pulled back just enough to speak clearly.

“I’ll say it again, if you really want me to.” You grinned.

“Please, baby.” He begged, wanting to hear the actual words.

“I love you,” you breathed, happy to finally be able to tell him again.

“I love you.” He replied, bringing you into another kiss, much more desperate than the last. As he did so, he suddenly seemed to remember where you were and what you were in the middle of. Without breaking away from you, he thrusted upwards with force. The impact caused you to let a moan slip into his mouth, only fuelling him further. You raised your hips slightly, allowing him to move with ease. He took it as an invitation, repeating his earlier action and continuing with a steady pace.

You parted with him, catching your breath. You straightened up, placing a hand on his chest to support your balance as he fucked you. You let out a slur of curses, indirect praise for the work he was doing. You moved your hips in time with his, greedy for more. He dropped his hands back to your waist, fingers gripping at the flesh like he’d gone feral. As much as you liked to tease him, you liked the position just as much as he did. There was something that drove you crazy about him under you, the freedom of his hands in which he used expertly. Plus, the pleasure he got from it fuelled yours, too. You were certain you could spend the rest of your life doing nothing but pleasing him and be happy while doing it.

His hips stuttered and he let out a low groan, the telltale sign he was getting close. It had been a long time for both of you, the stamina barely existing on either part. He held you still, wordlessly telling you to slow down. You fought against the hold, not caring if he came or not. In fact, you were hoping he would. He’d been generous in the orgasm department with you, and you were eager to do the same for him. “Slow down, mama.” He warned.

“It’s okay,” you assured him.

“Don’t want it to be over yet.” He admitted, catching your gaze.

“S’okay, baby.” You repeated. “I have this room all weekend.” He eyed you with an emotion you couldn’t quite place, like he was already thinking about the luxury of fucking you again. Like he was making a list of how many places around the room he could have you in. In a split-second decision, his fingers shot to your clit, finding it without any issue.

“Gotta cum with me, then. You know the rules.” He ordered. You have a nod, a hum of pleasure sounding straight from your chest. He stopped your movements, allowing him to set the pace and ensuring his hand didn’t slip from you, either. You locked your hips in place, fully allowing him to do as he pleased with you.

You both knew it wouldn’t take long; the joys of knowing each other so well meant that you knew exactly what to do. He kept his movement steady and consistent, uttering small praise as you allowed him to work at you. The noises falling from your lips graced his ears and settled deep in his chest, begging him to never forget them. “Look at me,” he wanted to sound authoritative, but he was nowhere close to it. Still, you obliged. You caught his eyes, finding yourself lost in them as soon as you did. “Come on, mama. Cum for me.” He begged, both of you knowing he couldn’t last much longer. The intensity grew with each second that passed, your head spinning with pleasure.

“M’gonna,” you moaned, promising to fulfill his request. He let out a groan, the end dissolving into a bit of a growl. The sound alone seemed to be enough to do it for you. “Fuck!” You exclaimed, your climax hitting you hard. You kept a steady hold on his chest, your other hand reaching for his arm for support. He didn’t have the ability to coax you through it; his cock twitched inside you, the sight of you coming undone sending him over the edge. He held you down on him as he spilled his release into you.

“Fuck, y/n,” he groaned, fingers digging into your hips with a promise of lasting bruises. When he came back down from the high, you were both breathless and seeing stars. He released his grip on you, guiding you down to lay on him. “My beautiful girl,” he sighed, placing a kiss to the top of your head.

“I missed you so much.” You confessed, focusing on the drum of his heartbeat against his chest.

“You have no idea how much I missed you.” He admitted, letting his fingers run through your hair. He sounded tired, enveloped in comfort and peace. “I thought about you every day. You never left my mind.”

“I’m sorry I left, Josh. I didn’t want to leave you. Especially like that.”

“I know, mama. I’m sorry for trying to make you stay. It wasn’t fair. I should have supported you no matter what.” He gently scratched your head. You closed your eyes, fully immersed in the intimacy. “I promise I’ll never do anything like that again. I was lucky enough to get a second chance, and I want to do it right, this time.”

“Me, too.” You agreed. “I never want to lose you again. It was a horrible year without you. Yeah, I did great stuff, made a name for myself, but it didn’t really mean a whole lot without someone to share the excitement with. Everybody was talking about me, but I had nobody to talk to. It was lonely without my best friend.”

“I know what you mean. Great things happened, I’m proud of what we accomplished, but I just wanted to be able to come home and tell you all about it. Every time I realized I couldn’t, it all just lost its shine.” You smiled at the statement, thinking he worded it perfectly. Life was fine without Josh, survivable in the least, but he made everything shine. He gave everything just a little bit more novelty. It was dull without him. Lacklustre, even. “Was it too soon to say I love you again?” He asked, finally airing out his anxiety.

“I think I was shocked, hearing it again after so long, but I don’t think it was wrong to say it. We never really stopped being in love; all of it was still there, it just had nowhere to go. If anything, I’m happy you still feel that way, too. Made me feel less stupid.” He didn’t respond, but you could practically feel him smiling. “You never moved out of the apartment?” You remembered he had said it earlier, but you wanted to clarify that you’d heard him right.

“No. Never changed it, either. There’s still shampoo bottles in the shower that belong to you, clothes in the closet, our pictures on the wall. I think I always hoped you’d come back home. Wanted you to know it was still yours, if you ever did.” Your heart ached at his words. You’d both been so stupid, suffering for so long that you both forced yourself to believe you’d forgotten about each other. “And it is. I mean, still yours, if you ever want to come back.” His free hand drifted over your back, fingertips gently ticking the exposed skin. “I know you have a career in New York, and I understand if you can’t, or you don’t want to. If you ever do want to, or change your mind, I’d be more than happy.”

“Thank you,” you wanted to express it in the most sincere way possible. The knowledge that he still wanted you there with him was extremely comforting. You didn’t mind the idea, either.

“But, for now, I’m happy to fly out and see you whenever I can. I’ll call every night, just like I should have from the beginning. I’ll never let you think I forgot about you ever again, or that I don’t believe in you, because neither of those are true.” You placed a kiss to his chest, finally feeling ready to tell him the news. You would have, anyway, but knowing he was willing to make it work even if you lived so far away made it impossible not to tell him.

“Actually, I was wondering if you could give me my key back.” You grinned. His lax stature immediately changed, pulling back just so he could look to see if you were joking. “Now that the line is releasing, and the outlet store is opening here, I’m gonna be in Nashville for a while. On and off, sometimes, but here for the foreseeable future, at least.” The look on his face made it seem like you’d just told him he won the lottery. “I was kind of dreading staying in a hotel, or having to hunt for another lonely apartment.”

“Are you serious?” He asked, still catching up to speed.

“Yeah,” you laughed. “I’d really like to come home, Josh. If that’s what you want, of course.” You felt that the need to go through the motions of dating again were quite silly, especially since you’d spent most of your adult life with him. The brief pause when you were gone didn’t really mean too much. You’d both changed, but clearly not enough to become anything close to strangers.

“Of course I do!” He wrapped you up in a hug, holding you like he’d never get the chance to, again. You both dissolved into a fit of giggles, excited at the idea of building a life together, again.

“I know you have to tour, and that’s okay. I’ll have to be in New York sometimes, too. I can come visit you, wherever you are. If you get some free time, you can come see me, or we can meet in the middle. I don’t care where that is, because if I’m with you, I’m home.” If it was possible to hold you tighter, he did just that. “I love you.”

“I love you,” he mumbled, words muffled due to his face being buried in your hair. “So much, mama.”

“I do think we should probably get cleaned up, though.” You eased into the idea, realizing the state you were both still in.

“A shower?” He asked, hidden implications written all over the question.

“Sure,” you laughed, sitting upright. “But we should do it, like now.”

You both made your way into the bathroom, getting in the shower and cleaning yourselves off. The night turned into the early hours of the morning, but sleep refused to come to either of you. You were too caught up in the stories, the jokes, and the touches, and the sex to care about anything else. More than anything, you were both just content finally being back in each others company. The sunrise barely put a damper on your night of reunion, because you were too immersed in each other to notice it. Too immersed in the overwhelming feeling of finally being at home after an unexplainably long, tiresome day.

[urlocaldesertdweller]

Venture x GN! Reader (who is equally as silly)

OH MY GOD. holy crap thank you, everyone, for liking my two posts of Venture content! There’s to my first 50+ likes, fellow venture lovers!!! Fluff through and through, a lil cringy at the end srry :,)

We all know that overwatch is a pretty serious group of people dealing with serious business with missions n stuff, which makes Sloan's happy-go-lucky attitude make them stick out like a sore thumb. But ever since you joined you made them feel less like the odd one out, almost instancing forming an unbreakable bond between the you guys!!

I'd imagine Sloan getting a scolding from most likely Sojourn yelling their ear off about how they need to take missions more seriously. But Sloan's mind would most likely go, "Well it isn't my fault for everyone being such a gloomy sack of potatoes!! I'm sorry that I'm naturally happy okay!?"

But lo and behold when you enter the picture on your first mission together they watch and take note of almost everything you do from the dropship, considering that you were seeming also sticking out like a sore thumb as well...

From you biting your nails in front of everyone, trying to make easy conversation with ice breakers...which you get either nicely or coldly turned down, and seemingly managing to find a positive view with a beaming grin...even after getting rejected for making acquaintances. Oh my, to Sloan this felt like true love with watching you perk up and make your way towards them with an open hand and nice smile...was that a small tooth gap.?

"...Hey, friend! Is this your first mission.?"

It takes a short second to process the contrast before they lean in to shake your hand with a smile revealing their chipped tooth.

"Actually I've been on a few before! But I'll be real with you buddy..."

They lean in even closer to whisper in your ear with a snicker.

"This is my first time seeing someone so friendly and chipper as you throughout the missions i've been through..!"

They pull back with a wink chuckling to which you give a quick nod winking back with making fun of how gloomy missions can truly get with the worst teammates.

"Ugh yeah, I know right.?! Like this is a mission, not your grandma's funeral!! Are Overwatch agents usually so dark and mysterious like them.?"

They slap a hand to their mouth holding back a laugh which results in a loud snort echoing in the small dropship, making some of your other teammates turn their heads, scoff, and turn away. Sloan worried that you'd turn away from their snort and embarrass both of you...instead, you laugh along with them and wrap an arm around them pulling Sloan into a giggling side hug ignoring anything around them until the mission starts...

From that day forward the two of you have been the closest of friends ever since! In fact, you two are so close that you both would beg to Sojourn in her office, crying with puppy eyes asking to have you and Sloan become and share a duo bunker. If it were not for the mix of your determination and Sojourn's lack of caffeine in her system...she finally waves the both of you off with a sigh.

"Alright, fine you two can share a duo bunker! Just pray that this change doesn't cause any further problems or trouble...because I will separate you two."

With shouts and skips of excitement fluttering in both your hearts. Usually, the normal agent takes under a week to move all of their stuff into a different bunker, but with you guys? You and Sloan managed to move everything in under 1.5 days into your brand new bunker where you grow all the closer to Sloan, just barely tipping over the edge of romantic levels, but neither of you would get all too shy and dumb to even think about love between the two of you.

You would share stories of your childhood, discussions of interests, and literally anything crazy dumb enough can be a part of your conversations with Sloan...

"Do you think that in another universe we could've been supervillains that absolutely hate each other guts.?"

"Nah, I'm thinking about if we could still be friends in a Lego world..."

"...Wait what..?"

Basically have the random conversations that would flow like water, some agents would overhear your talks and genuinely question if you and Sloan were on something...

The bunker would be covered in anything you guys share and love from everything in interests and hobbies from the floor to the ceiling. If you remember in my most recent post talking about Sloan gifting you a decorated rock like Rosetta.? Yeah Sloan definitely gifts you one (cough and definitely gifts it to you, they constantly think about it as a secret proposal of love for u). Then over time after tiring missions, you guys would plan a date for decorating smaller rocks as the growing family between Rosetta and your rock.!! And y'all seem to never stop with the arrangement of rock children.

"This one is gonna be named Rosie after her parent! She gonna have one eye and pink hair just like your Rosetta.!!!"

"...At this point why you don't call her Rosetta Jr.?"

"... Because Sloan. Then I'd have to call her Rosetta Jr 2!!"

"Oh yeah...But what if you then called her Rosetta Jr...The Sequel.?!"

Going back to the topic of missions. You are basically glued to each other hip to hip! And you always have small conversations...of course, if another willing friendly teammate wanted to join you Sloan would welcome them with open arms! Other than casual talk, Sloan would 100% hype you up and you'd do the same of course, if there were any worries Sloan would be there to calm you. Your teammates would groan seeing how you are still only friends at this point...

Of course, during the actual mission, this is one of the few exceptions where you two can separate in certain situations. Of course silly nicknames for the enemy team, goobers, goons, bozos, etc. Always calling out if a threat is coming from behind them, and after if they were to get any injuries of course you'd be there to patch them up on the way back to base.

"Aye aye...Sloan, you just couldn't help but dive into that group of talon goons couldn't you.?!"

You huff frustrated but you can't help but chuckle considering that they managed to only walk out of that fight with sprained wrist, a black eye, and some minor scratches scattered over their body.

"Sorry buddy! I guess it was just me in the heat of the battle! You know how it can be right.? Remember when you tried to flank and you ended up getting kicked hard in the stomach.?! Ha!"

They bite back recalling your own mishaps during missions as you let out a sigh finishing up their injuries and giving them a playful slap on their side, you think of a way to get back as you make your way from the launch pad to your bunkers.

"Oh yeah.? If you remember that moment 3 months ago.? Two can play that game! I remember hearing whisper to the rocks about how much you just looovvee me....you ain't slick Sloan."

They stop and walk beside you watching your back as you saunter back to your shared bunker their face growing hot and red and heart racing...how could they slip up a thing like that in front of you.?!

"...WAIT YOU KNOW???"

They shout at you all too stunned at the moment to care who's listening. To which you turn back walking backwards with a smile showing your tooth gap making them loosen at the situation.

"It's okay Sloan!! I love you t-!"

You are unable to finish your sentence as you trip over yourself while walking backwards and your back your smile quickly fading as you feel the air leave your lungs with a loud oof. To which makes Sloan go through a short roller coaster of emotions but they snort and burst out laughing and jog towards you offer their hand to pull you up from the floor.

"Now that wasn't very slick you was it.?"

With a groan, you take their hand smiling with a slight pained groan from the fall as you pull them into a side hug continuing your walk back to your bunker still as dumb and chaotic as ever but now stupid and chaotic with love. <3

"Shut up ya mole."

[jellyskink]

Just another Manic Muesday (Sorry I couldn't think of a better title lol.)

"Alright Dr. Pines, I'm pleased to report that your lab results for your bloodwork have finally been logged and updated to our medical system since the last we saw each other."

"H-huh? Oh! I'm certainly glad to hear that Dr. Oleander! Forgive me, I'm afraid my mind was wandering just now."

Sunshine shown through the windows of the medical doctor's office, bathing parts of the room with it's comforting warm rays. Outside, leaves of different colors and types scattered in the breeze with an air of playfullness to them. It was truly a lovely autumn day.

At least... it was as lovely as it could get lately. When it wasn't the occasional inanimate object coming to life to either cause mischief, panic, harm, or all of the above, the slowly randomizing weather definitely made it trickier to enjoy nature. 

Quite literally the other day it was a record-breaking freezing winter, followed the day after by a sweltering summer so hot that not only could you fry an egg on the sidewalk, but you could fry the chicken that laid it as well if you wanted to.

"That's quite alright, I just wanted to let you know that we did find some rather... interesting results."

"What kind of results? A-anything my Muse should be concerned over? I must inform him if there's anything that would cause him to worry over me!"

"Er, it's nothing as dire as that I assure you. I moreso wanted to let you know that in comparison to your first blood test, there's improvement to your overall health! I'm really proud of you that you're making progress."

"O-oh um thanks I suppose? I don't believe it's because of my choices truthfully. If it wasn't for my Muse's instance and kindness about my health I don't believe I could've done it on my own!"

"Dr. Pines I don't think you're giving yourself enough credit, only those who want help can accept it as they always say..."

"No, no! I'm serious! I'm truly thankful he's been stern that I see Stanley on a regular basis!

 I'm quite forgetful with taking care to see him regularly. Stanley's always worried about me, it pains me to see him filled with grief whenever I'm unable to talk to him for a bit due to my Muse and I's busy schedule.

Without him I'm sure my health and relationship with my Brother would be absolutely horrible!"

"..."

"Dr. Oleander? Is something the matter? You aren't speaking to me as much as you usually do."

"Forgive me Dr. Pines, I'm just a bit conflicted right now. I've just got a lot on my mind as well. On a similar subject, I do want to apologize for overstepping my boundaries with talking to you about your relationship with Mr.Cipher."

"..."

"I-it's fine. I know you didn't mean to be so crude on purpose. My Muse and I's relationship is often a subject to many due to it's complex and sublime love."

"Yes I believe you're right... Forgive me Doctor, I have a tendency to involve myself too much in my work."

"You d-don't need to apologize for that! It's a quality my Muse approves of you for! He wouldn't let just anyone treat any medical problems I have, the fact you have his trust is a sign you're great at what you do Doctor Oleander."

"... I appreciate your reassurance, though it still isn't very professional of me to be so casual with my speech with you about my troubles with my confidence as a medical practitioner."

"I don't mind! I swear!! I-I think you're a lot like the plant you share your surname with."

"I'm sorry?"

"Y-you know, Oleander? Also known as Rosebay? It's a perennial shrub and tree known and loved for it's vitality, resilience, and beauty. 

My Muse likes the fact every part of it is poisonous, it's definitely a kicker that's certain!

Personally I love the fact that certain species of caterpillars use the plant as both a food source and a way to defend themselves against predators! 

In particular, there's a species of moths known as the Oleander Hawk Moth, that does this! It's a very interesting and rare kind of Moth to see! I personally consider it to be one of my favorites!"

"Haha! Is that so? W-well thank you Doctor for that compliment and the accompanying fact."

"..."

"Ick are you two nerds just about done being boring together?"

"O-oh! Mr. Cipher! My apologies! We were just about done with Dr. Pine's appointment. It's my fault for taking longer than usual with his appointment..."

"You know Doco? Normally I'd be furious buuut this does mean Sixer finally has a buddy to talk about his more boring nerd things with! 

Congrats! You've redeemed yourself from me needing to find Sixer a new doctor!

This is definitely a blessing in disguise for me as you humans say! Now, be a doll and tell Sixer to hurry on home now? We've got places to be and mayhem to cause!"

"Of course Mr.Cipher. I'll be sure to do that right away."

"Oh and Doco before I forget, just know that I'll be keeping a closer eye on the time in the future. Fordsy's on a pretty tight schedule you know! I'd hate to have to CUT into both you and him over not keeping track of time. 

Although that would mean I'd have the chance to change things up when my pet needs a reminder that he needs to behave... And I would have the chance to really see how your meatsacks work without needing to worry about needing to harm a hair on Sixer's head... 

Whoops did I say that out loud? Haha! My bad! Anyways, pleasure talking with you Doco! Byee!!"

"Ugghh..."

"Dr.Pines! Er, I'm sorry to have to cut this conversation short, but Mr.Cipher has requested I let you know that you've been out for a while and must return back to him as quickly as you can."

*Gasp* "O-Oh no! Please forgive me my Muse! I didn't mean to forget to watch the time! I'll be home soon!! ThankyouforyourtimeDr.OleanderbutIsimplymustbegoing!!"

"Dr.Pines, I'll have your meds refilled and ready by hopefully the end of today!!"

*Sigh* "I really need to think about changing professions..."

(Just as soon as she says this, Mcgucket falls out of a tree very ungracefully, scampering after Ford. 

"???"

"What the-? Okayyy and now cowboy hillbillies are just falling out of trees now. Why am I surprised?? 

I'm going home early today, I deserve it. It's too early for this. I can't wait to just go back to bed and hug Calamari soon..."

(I hope you likes my attempt at some fanfiction! I wasn't sure if I should write it like a book or like a visual novel. The font stuff is probably really wonky because I typed this all around 1am and on my phone so my apologies for that lol.

I'm glad you liked my idea at trying to write some fanfiction about your au's Ford and Irene. Or would it be friendfiction in this case?? Anyways, I think I like the platonic route too. Maybe if Ford and Irene were to be a ship it'd be a friends to lovers thing or something? Idk. I was thinking about writing a more Irene and Calamari focused sequal to this, but I'm not sure if I should? Idk lmaoo.)

THIS ANON WROTE A REALLY CUTE FRIENDSHIPPING FIC OF FORD AND OLEANDER looklooklook it's so cuuuuuute 💕

[ruleroftheimps]

I am still trying to process how the a/b/o idea was so popular lol, but while I procrastinate potentially plot that, another idea popped in my head (Well- It's been floating around in my head and I finally nabbed it to be more accurate.)

Brief emetophobia warning, as this idea does have a few references to that, as well as food allergies, starvation, and what's basically an eating disorder? I'm not sure how to describe it, but I'm putting a read more just because of all that. Well, and because it's pretty long.

It's really just an where Vox has severe allergies to anything that isn't directly from sea food. The reasons why could vary; he had allergies while alive and somebody thought making them worse would be funny, the person in charge of designing their forms just thought it'd be funny in general, or maybe he just had bad luck (I mean, he ended up with a TV for a head-)

Essentially, anything that comes from a land animal or bird causes really bad rashes and hives (Amphibious creatures tend to be hit or miss), and anything that comes from plants results in severe choking, coughing, low blood pressure, vomiting, and eventually (temporary) death. Epipens and stuff like that don't really work if not administered like, a millisecond after he ingests whatever it is, because mechanical shit starts shutting down too, and the medicine doesn't fix that. When Vox first fell into Hell, he ended up quickly deciding 'Oh, you know what? Starving to death and reviving is better than this.' It took him a long to time to find out what would and what would not trigger reactions, and he ended up dying a lot during that time.

I guess a slight difference that is sort of important to mention is in this timeline/alternate universe, the more you die, the faster you regenerate. The cause also affects speed, obviously. So when Vox dies because of an allergy, it initially took him roughly half a day to fix all the stuff that stopped working, but it reached the point where it's now ten minutes at most. This also carried over to when he loses in fights to Alastor, so, at most, it takes him half an hour to get back up. Alastor is understandably annoyed by this, because he can literally rip Vox apart, and then get jumped less than an hour later while he's still recovering, because unlike Vox who's died somewhere upwards of a hundred times, Alastor's never died in Hell. Basically, Vox has the advantage of speed.

While he and Al were friends though (Don't know if you can tell, but my favorite version of Vox is CRT head Vox lol), Alastor would make his 'special' meals, because apparently any sinners that are primarily fish based (Aka, Papermint, who's ONLY exempt from Vox's cannibalism because he's does there taxes) are perfectly fine for him to eat. Alastor would go to Rosie's and basically buy the best cuts, make sure they were from Sinners he was 100% sure would be safe, and then make Vox something that actually tasted good using the limited seasonings he could. He also learned how to make a version of candied salmon for Vox's sweet tooth, and did Vox just break down at being able to eat something that isn't just straight sugar for the first time in years.

Yeah, Alastor claimed it was just because it wasn't amusing if Vox spent an hour coughing up his lungs and then another hour regenerating, but Rosie knew what was up. Love is her specialty after all.

But, sometime after Val fell into Hell, Alastor ended up needing to cut off ties with Vox, because the person he sold his soul to (Let's say... Roo and Eve became one person for this fic) thought he was getting too cozy. So he... may have intentionally slipped something multiple things in Vox's food when he invited him over, and Vox, who trusted him unconditionally, got a pretty nasty shock when Alastor ripped him apart and basically told him how he was good for nothing more than entertainment while he was dying on the floor. When he recovered, he ended up getting very depressed and met Valentino, and the two became fast friends. Vox was hesitant to tell him about his weakness, but Valentino actually was pretty good about it. Okay, maybe he slipped something in his food once, but he regretted it immediately when he saw how bad the reaction was, and then became immensely protective of Vox, who actually got so much better mentally because of this. When Velvette joined the Vees, she became super protective too.

Aaaand that brings us to the modern timeline (Help, this is super long), where the entire season progresses as normal, but, after the battle with the angels, Vox, after literal decades of no reactions, starts mysteriously getting really bad reactions out of seemingly nowhere. After a really bad incident in public, at Val's club, which they barely managed to get out of without being seen due to Val doing an impromptu sale on a night with the dancers (who had thought it was just dancing), they end up realizing somebody's spiking the food. The first thought is obviously Alastor (Alastor has never done anything with Vox's food after the first fight), but after several cases where Val and Velvette actually watch the prep from start to finish while Vox's is stalking watching Alastor, and Vox still has a reaction, they realize, okay, no, it's somebody else.

And then they come up with the bright idea of sending Vox to the hotel because it's the safest place they can think of while Velvette and Valentino try to hunt down the culprit. Charlie, understandably, refuses them when they just appear, especially because of Valentino, but then Vox purposefully eats a brownie or something (He's been craving chocolate for the past 70 years or so, give him a break), much to Alastor's horror, and Charlie decides because of that coupled with the fact that Vox basically stated point blank he will starve himself to death because that is his only other option, maybe he can stay. Angel does get time off too though.

Cue Alastor realizing, okay, maybe he still does care about the insufferable picture box, Roo/Eve appearing repeatedly and threatening to punish him if he doesn't obey and stop hanging out with Vox, who is having an existential crisis, because on one hand, Alastor tried to kill him on multiple occasions, but on the other, he's still kind of hot??? Velvette and Val checking in every once in a while, as well as three new guests who all appear at a suspicious time, and, oh wait, look at that, don't they all have a grudge against the Vees and Vox in particular? Sure hope it's not one of them that's been spiking Vox's food...

[mango-fizz]

ohh yeah im reminded, your pinned is your (very cool) agent headcanons, do you have any for the idols you'd wanna talk about? i'm wondering

i KNOW you gotta have some for Shiver at least

sorry for the late reply ^-^

AAAAAAAAAAAAA ok.

Callie:

Let's address the elephant in the room here let's talk about the Great Splatfest War of 2016. So, obviously, Callie lost. The Squid Sisters Stories permanently changed my brain chemistry fr. Marie doesn't even know how her cousin is doing. She wonders if she hates her. She wonders if maybe it's her fault for winning that they're drifting away. And Callie never gives any indication of how she feels about it. They literally go out to eat together, go shopping and hang out just like old times, and they don't talk about it, cause things are fragile between them, even if they don't realize it, and Callie is fine! Everything is fine. Sure Marie is looking a little more down than usual but she's probably just tired. Everything is fine, Callie is fine. 

Just don't think about how they're too busy to see each other anymore, how they barely talk anymore, how the Splatfest results deems Marie legally better than Callie, how maybe this idol shit isn't really worth it anymore, especially not if it's just going to be Callie, and Marie. They're supposed to be "The Squid Sisters," right? They're in this together, right? But still she says nothing. Because she’s Callie! The happy fun energetic lovable goofball that makes everyone smile! But really she's so sick of it. She's sick of the cameras, and she's sick of people bringing up her loss and she’s sick of feeling jealous of Marie. 

She feels guilty about it, really, how could she feel that way towards her sister? It's not right. She's sick of it, but it's so drilled into her it's like second nature to smile and nod during talk shows, or give the same lighthearted and agreeable response of “Team Callie did their very best, and we’ll get 'em next time! ⭐” But when Octavio offers her a deal, regardless of whether or not she knew she would be hypnotized, she takes it, because she needs an out. And she certainly isn't telling Marie. 

Now this was before, of course. It's not like that anymore. But I'd say she’s still the best at getting into “idol mode” out of all of them, with Shiver as a close second. I have a friend who thinks it's hilarious how quickly I switch from “AARRGHGH FUCKKKKK” to “Well anyway let’s do something else now” in like a second, it's a pretty funny bit imo but like Callie does this professionally. I think she prolly has a lot of pent up anger she likes to release in turf wars with her big ass dynamo lmao. Also she’s older than Marie. 

Marie:

Marie really blames herself for everything lmao. Her fault for winning, her fault for not checking in with Callie, her fault that Octavio broke out and took Callie with him. Maybe she should've been more attentive, more considerate. Maybe she shouldn't have talked to Callie that way, before, maybe she should've appreciated their relationship and let her know how much she cared, how much she loves her. Maybe Callie really does hate her. She would deserve it, honestly. 

I already said most of the Callie v Marie thoughts, so I don't wanna be redundant. They made up and became best friends again yippee! I think maybe Marie is a little Extra attentive to Callie now as a result though.

What else… hmmmmm Marie likes to drink. This is more of an inside joke than a headcanon, but honestly it might be real… oh also, Marie learned to shoot from her grandpa since they both use chargers. According to Callie, Marie can look at spreadsheets for hours without getting tired, and I think that's so sexy. But she's also notoriously bad at keeping a healthy sleep schedule lmao. Coffee. 

I think Marie has generally mellowed out since the whole incident, but it just kinda comes with growing up, yknow? She still definitely keeps her dry sarcastic humor though. Just less mean. She has perhaps like a performatively reluctant soft spot for Deep Cut. She might feel strangely responsible for them as their boss.

Pearl:

I don't acknowledge the splatoon manga but i think Emperor and Prince (Prinz?) being Pearl’s little brothers is so adorable. She thinks they're very cute, whenever they see each other she pinches their cheeks type shit, and they're all “wahh sis you're embarrassing meee” and so on and so forth. Pearl and Marina live together in Pearl’s mansion, yes? Yes. Maybe she likes to spoil Marina with gifts, which she sheepishly accepts. After the events of Octo Expansion, she lets Eight stay with them for a while as she gets her bearings in Inkopolis.  

Marina:

I don't know why but I lk don't really have many hcs about marina idk maybe she's just perfect the way she is. I think she teaches Eight Inklish. Eight probably looks up to her a lot since they have some (pretty important) things in common, and Marina absolutely does not take that fact for granted. She wants to be the best role model she possibly can, not just for Eight but also for any Octoling who escapes the domes.

Frye:

Ok so Frye was raised by her grandpa cause her parents spend most of their time traveling. She has one younger brother and two younger twin sisters. Her grandfather owns a dance school I think? Frye would often skip out on practice. These aren't really hcs they're actually straight up canon I just need to remember wtf is going on lmao

Ok so I think frye is the leader of deep cut

I KNOW I KNOW JUST WAIT LISTEN

I simply think she has leader potential. I'm a really big fan of characters with outwardly laid-back and cheerful personalities being quite terrifying when they get serious. And especially considering Frye’s home life, I think she probably has that grandfatherly wisdom to her yknow what i mean? She'd probably get along pretty well with Cuttlefish somehow,, that would be funny. She comes up with the escape plans for Deep Cut’s raids, she's good at improvising and sticking to her decisions. It’s like driving a car, once you make the decision to change lanes you have to stick to it and you can’t hesitate or else you'll crash. She’s different from Shiver in this aspect, but I’ll get more into that later. And then at the end Shiver and Big Man are all frazzled n shit and Frye is perfectly intact and she's like "See? Told ya it'll be fine!"

I think Frye has the, how do you say, oldest child tendency to become a weird parental figure to their younger siblings? Maybe not quite to that extent, but she definitely feels a certain . Something like that. Maybe. Not like her parents are ever around much either, and her grandpa’s getting old. 

But between bandit stuff and Splatsville duties I imagine it can be kind of difficult to keep up! I actually can’t decide if Deep Cut live in their respective clan estates or if they all move out into a rinky dink apartment to focus on their own things. I mean, their clans are the most important in Splatsville I Assume, right? Like it's probably like a pretty big generational household type shit right? I imagine this is where Deep Cut grew up, but maybe as they matured and decided they would do music (and bandit) stuff they all moved in together? That's sort of what I have in my mind. 

Big Man:

Wait isn't he literally the owner of like a dance school ..? or a music school..? No, it was a dance school. That's so crazy lmao. Kind of hard as fuck. Idk what to write for big man i'm gonna be real. I think he often watches out for the other two cause they tend to be reckless of course. But when it comes to protecting them he would literally do anything. 

This is crazy but he kind of reminds me of Min Yoongi. They're both well known music producers with many collabs under their belt, they're both kind of quiet mellow individuals and care deeply for their band members. Can play many instruments. Highly intelligent . Should BM have a rapper debut. who knows 

Shiver:

Let's get this out of the way first. I am projecting onto shiver every second of the day 24/7 365 even right now as we speak. Not everything, mind you, but certain things. And you'll never know which ones hehehehe 😈

So I think Shiver might have had a pretty strict home life. Now I don't know how she feels about her parents, she's never told me, but what I do think is that she has huge perfectionist habits. Huge. There's not much room for mistakes in her life. She likes to be good at things, and if she's not, then she'll practice and practice and practice until she gets it . Perfectly. Even if it means sacrificing other things, sometimes. She liked pleasing her parents. Good grades, good Stringer skills, good singing, good training with Master Mega. Sometimes it was a little overbearing. Maybe she doesn't want to be perfect all the time. But she has to be, because she's a Hohojiro.

So Shiver was the one most excited about moving out of the clan estates, but somehow I think she manages to keep a good relationship with her parents. Maybe. But still I think she has a lot higher expectations, not just for others but also for herself.

Like I mentioned before, when she's on stage, "the show must go on" is the number one thing. However, off stage, she does have the tendency to get easily frustrated, and she's also very competitive. Sometimes her emotions get the better of her and she can act quite impulsively. 

Shiver had long tentacles when she was younger, then cut them short as an adult.

She's also the youngest sibling. I kind of have the idea that when she was younger she was very uptight and kinda stuffy ? But when she met Frye and Big Man she started opening up more and being more relaxed and outgoing. I think she has so much shark merch.

She definitely likes the attention (and money) she gets from being an idol lmao. I think Shiver is highkey a fr-- [i am dragged off stage]

Now I will link fics I have written that might be relevant Maybe.

thank u for reading im not sure what counts as canon and what counts as hc so i might be missing some things but i did my best to explain what goes on in my brain 😖😖😖 hopefully it makes sense

[diosama27]

Usui Takumi

So lately I've noticed a blonde guy from my class looking at me... No, to be accurate staring at me.

An: Yn was in the big girl group so no one literally gave her any attention, well she was fine with that cause she was one of the "independent women" they say but it's all because of the trust issues that she had with her past relationships and things she heard from others.

But for some reason, you knew that he was staring at your closest friend rather than you. Boys would swoon over the school's reigning queen. Misaki fucking Ayuzawa was who she was.

Misa was a typical tsundere girl who was literally without imperfections. The boys would do everything for her to notice, and since she's the prez, she obviously excels in the curriculum.

She is the goddess, a "smexy goddess," the all-powerful, supreme being. She has even rejected girls, which is painful to behold.

Everyone with a rational mind will, of course, fall for her. Because you two were great friends, a lot of males even approached you to introduce them to her.

Seriously, some guys merely talk to you to attract her attention, but she's just very protective of you and fears that you will get wounded as a result of everything. You weren't sure why, but you liked being the most important person to the school queen.

It's true because she detests men who use you as a stepping stone to approach her. She is the kind of friend that everybody desires.

But recently, she came clean about her emotions for Usui. Who has been the bad boy that most girls adored.

Honestly, after hearing this, you felt a little sad because you'd have to share your sexy bestie with someone else.

If she enters a relationship, you won't be able to spend time with her and hang out like you used to, but if she's pleased with it, you wanted to support her.

You want to make her smile, make fun of her, and discuss all the wonderful times she has had with her significant other.

That was like hearing about your daughter's love life and how happy it made you. Indeed the goddess and the bad boy thing would make a great couple, I reckon.

You get the impression that he has feelings for her, too. This relationship is now legitimate, and in a few days it might even become official.

Next day at school~~~

"Yn!! Why are you late today, uhh? What am I going to do with you?" She sighed. "Btw did you have your breakfast? Wait that's a stupid question so here" she handed you a bento similar to hers.

She does this so often she would bring food for you everytime. She's just too kind.

"Thank you misa~~~!!!!" you play cried and ate the food with her. She would do everything for you, protect you, bring you food, you can be comfortable around her, you will fall in love with her if this continues.

AN: And did I forget to mention that some of the guys and girls actually envy you for being treated like a lil baby by the queen of school.

Well you would've died a hundred times if dagger eyes could kill you, she would support you and just be there for you. The perfect waifu that everyone wants but is mine only. (Hehehe)

This usui guy wanted to say something to Misaki as he was literally all around her the whole day, but she just rejected him. It's to be mentioned that they were still in the friend stage.

You knew misa was not able to conceal her love for him. She was rejecting him only because if she spoke, he would've learned why she was a red tomato the whole day.

But you wanted him too find it out so they could get together you wanted to do something to help them confess their love for each other and come clean.

Students were already leaving their classes as the school bell rang, laughing and sighing alongside their friends and loves.

"Yn!!" When you turned around after hearing an unexpected voice call for you, you spotted him—the crucial target of your mission—in front of you.

Since you've never really said a hi or a hello to this man, you reasoned that God was on your side. You were trying to think of a way to approach him when he appeared.

"Wait, he's going to ask me to assist him in telling Misa how he feels. Yes of course, everything is going smoothly, and I only need to convince her to accept his offer. You were too preoccupied thinking about where they would go on their first date and how Usui would surprise Misa.

He was nervous, not at all like the bad guy he was, and you thought he really loved her. "Yn I want you to do me a favour and please don't say no, it's really important for me and only you could do this since Misaki trusts only you, so please," he said.

You mentally yelled out, "Yess it's here," and then asked, "Well, I'd do anything for Misa, so what is it?" You inquired, anticipating the responses you had in mind but this was different like really totally different.

"Actually, I need your support in arranging a date for Misaki with one of my friends. He attends a different school, and you can trust me when I say that Misaki would adore him. I'm not really sure how we became friends because he is nothing like me.

He is my best mate, and I want to do something for him because I know he would sacrifice his life for her. For her, he would do anything for her."

You just stood by and watched as he chuckled like a little kid while he reminisced about him and his pal.

"Please, Yn, help me in this. I know you would feel exactly the same way about Misaki, who needs to settle down with someone so she can have a lifestyle beyond the school as she's far too consumed with everything else to take care of herself. So, please."

He begged with you, and you were unable to even answer to his questions, like, "What the hell was he saying? She likes him, yet he's here asking me to set her up on a date with his best friend."

"That's not likely to happen; if he cares about her, he should come out and say it. How can she ever trust a coward who can't even communicate his own thoughts and emotions? If he truly loves her, ask him to grow up and have the guts to admit his feelings because the wonderful queen Misaki who she sure is doesn't need a love like that."

You were about to walk away when he said. "No, it's not like that, you should understand. He loves her, but he doesn't want her to know because he feels that he's not good enough to love her."

You are now really mad at how things turned out as you said "Even if we set up a date for them, Usui, do you honestly believe that Misa will accept his feelings? What are you even expecting when she doesn't even know who he is?"

He was puzzled but came up with "then how about we plan a double date so that we both could also go and make preparations for them to spend some alone time. How about that?"

'yes bye-bye misa I'm going to miss you, I'll miss you soo bad' you thought treasuring all those memories you had with misa and locking them all up in your heart.

"Wait no, no, no. That's not how it should be" you tried to think of other options but you couldn't come up with anything. When you heard him question "Then how should it be?" You were not in your right mind, millions of thoughts which were trying to make you go insane ran in your head and without even realising you blurted out the truth, the truth that only misa could say, the truth that only she has the right to say.

"Well, Misaki is in love with you" he was shocked and was comprehending what he just heard with an expression in his which waited for you to correct the sentence thinking that you made a mistake but no, it's the truth.

"What was that? No, it can't be true right? No." he paused for a few seconds but said "Yn, I'm actually in love with you. To be honest I wanted to confess in a better circumstances but I guess it too late now as it has come to this. But I have feelings for you and misa is just my friend, nothing more."

You were so shocked that your thoughts began to fade into the background of yourself and Misa and towards the reaction of the entire school once they learned what had actually happened.

He is the playboy, but now it's not the same him. He's dead serious and was anxiously anticipating your response, and you could see it as you stood still and stared at him.

You were confused, so you tried to take a glimpse of everything which happened so firstly you were You were trying to pair them up. Secondly Usui approached you and asked you to help him set up a date for Misa and his friend.

Finally he says that he's in love with you. You almost felt like you were in some kind of a tv drama or something. Things kept crashing into you.

"No, Misa is in love with you, and you need to be too. I should have no part in this, neither should your friend. Why did everything end up this way?" You could feel his hands on you while you were jabbering out loud and heard him acknowledge,

"Yn, I know all this is too much on you, but it's true, I genuinely love you and I can't even think about someone else in your stead. Don't make this a matter about others, please. I want to know what you feel about me, not how your friend thinks, please" usui says.

"I don't really know how to feel about this, maybe I need some time." You turn around to walk away when he pulls you and kiss you and says.

"I love you and I would do anything for you to love me back but I can't move on from you, no not in this life, so please give me a chance." He pleads while you stand there dumbstruck after the kiss.

Because to all this you never noticed Misa behind Usui standing in full shock trying to hold back the tears which were threatening to fall.

She just lowered her head and after a brief moment of looking away Misa murmured, "Yn, are you not cold? Would you like to walk with me as we head back home now that it's almost dusk?" As she was staring blank into your lifeless eyes. With that, she walked ahead saying "Let's meet up tomorrow, then. Take her home safely, Usui."

You didn't wait for anything and just ran behind Misa trying to stop her by then you were far away from Usui and near the local park were y'all sometimes chat for a while. She had tears stained her cheeks you couldn't just look at her like that. She was hurt. You hurt her.

"I'm sorry Misa, it's not like that, please understand. You are my friend and I'm sorry that you witnessed all this, I'm sorry, it's my fault, please, please forgive me." You cried as you hugged her.

Misa also couldn't control her emotions anymore and bursted into tears in your arms.

"Yn, I know, it's not your fault, it's just.... I can't. I don't want to loose you because of these emotions. You are one of the most important person in my life. I want you to be happy too."

"I know you love him too...."

You were trying to comfort her but when she said the last few words you knew you fucked up.

"What are you saying Misa, you think I like him, no, not a chan..."  Before you could finish she said. "Yn no, stop, I know you, don't give me that crap. But I'm sorry because I realised it too late, just after I, realised my feelings for him and when I confessed it to you that's only when I knew you also like him. I'm sorry, I should have said it before."

She sobbed onto you and you couldn't console her no more, she was broken and so were you. You knew you had feelings for Usui but it didn't matter when she had the same feelings for him.

"Yn, you should go back to him and tell him how you feel. I want you to be happy and find the one that you love, now that you found him you should do all you can. Yn, do it for me, please."

Stop this, it's not how it's supposed to be. No, I don't know what to do. By then Usui caught up to you and was just waiting for y'all to have your moment. "I'm sorry Misa, I didn't know all this, I'm sorry."

She wiped her tears away and said

"It's alright Usui, atleast you knew about my feelings, and I won't regret ever having feelings for you. But please understand yn and try to pursue her by anyway possible. You won't get anyone better than her. I can assure you for that."

She looked at you and said "Yn, nothing will tear us apart, this friendship is for life, as people say you either be with me or you die, so guess it's not the later?"

She playfully teased as she forms finger gun and points it to you. You just couldn't stop the tears which were now flowing like a waterfall. You hugged her so tight and she just pampered you for some time.

"Now I feel relieved. Please take care and take her home safe. Byee." She hugged you one more time and said "I love yn, let meet tomorrow. Bye" then she left.

Now it was only you and Usui, he saw you and said "A genuinely good friend to have, I guess." As you smiled and he hugged you removing the coldness in you when Misa left.

"I love you Usui, thank you for everything." You said as you were in his arms.

You could feel him tightening his grip around you as you face upwards you find his face beaming with joyful tears. He wipes them away and says "I love you too babe. I love you sooo much"

[misc-obeyme]

I've been brain rotting abt solosim lately and my notes app has seen HELL (can't even type without it lagging every letter 😭) sooo u are my next victim cc

Literally can't stop thinking abt a situation where luke becomes the wingman and he doesn't even realize it himself, basically a game of love or death (i wouldn't say death but it's funny and dramatic lol) and every choice he makes can result in either confess VERY fast or never find out... 💔💔💔 (or still confess but at a snail's pace and both are denying their feelings)

It would be even funnier if luke is way against the idea of simeon dating someone let alone solomon, luke would have a nightmare of simeon feeding him Solomon's cooking then luke wakes up in a cold sweat and goes:

"NO... That's just a nightmare luke that's just a nightmare luke!!! Simeon HAS standards!!!!"

Little does that poor kid know he's gonna get a second dad 💔

YES I'LL BE YOUR VICTIM ANON.

Listen, I LOVE solosim, okay!? I mean, yes I am also a sololuci shipper, it's fine I can do it all.

But this is exactly part of it because the Purgatory Hall crew are like a cute little family and I think that Luke would be sucked into any kind of situation like this without wanting to be. I mean they all live together! How can he avoid it?!

And I SO agree that Luke's immediate response to Simeon dating someone is NO. Just already, doesn't matter who it is (MC is maybe the only exception... I also think he'd come around to Barbatos too). BUT SOLOMON??? Simeon, how could you do this to poor sweet Luke!??! LOL.

Simeon does have standards, he won't make Luke eat Solomon's cooking even if they're dating. 'Cause you know, it might kill him and Simeon takes his guardianship of Luke too seriously for that lol.

I also love the idea that Luke is the one who inadvertently gets them to confess to each other. That's incredibly sweet~

[logically-asexual]

im terribly bored and not doing well so im scraping the bottom of the barrel for entertainment which means i am watching the incorrect quotes video.

trying to be objective i think they’re fine, i think i don’t find them as funny mostly because ive seen them many times so i know the punchlines, which isn’t their fault. with the ones i do not know the punchline i do smile a bit. and for like half of those i do think “oh yeah this is something they would say”

anyways that’s a lukewarm take not worthy of writing a whole post about, im actually here to complain because ive been listening to the magnus archives (literally just finished the third episode of season 5 before watching this) and that quote about the cows i just :/

i don’t know if the problem lies in thomas’ execution or in the concept of incorrect quotes or in the choice of the quote by the fan or anywhere else but i’m upset.

i do like incorrect quotes, they can be funny and they’re not always the destroyer of literary comprehension some people make them out to be. like anything from fandom, it’s not great if you only see the characters through that lens and people will reduce characters to overused tropes and will project stuff that isn’t even close to canon on them but the fault of that is, i think, mostly on the people doing it and not in the concept of incorrect quotes or shipping or headcanons or whatever. incorrect quotes can be fun and can suck just like anything else. i mean they’re not the same a shipping because at least with that the purpose sometimes is to enrich the story or the understanding of the characters while quotes are just there to be fun. but i think it’s fine to have something that’s just for fun.

the problem is that to do them smartly you have to be careful, because taking something from one work to the other might not be as easy. many times the joke relies on pre-established stuff like character traits or relationships or world building which you didn’t really notice when seeing/listening to it in its original source until you picture it with new characters. it has happened to me that i think i can make something into an incorrect quote and then realize that it just doesn’t work. and some people do not notice this or think that it’s fine cause they assume the person reading the quote will know the original source and will be able to make the relevant associations.

and then add the layer of translating a quote from media like tv or film or audio into writing, (which often causes some quotes to be bad because the original relied on visual context or the delivery, the timing, the sound effects, etc), and then on top of it all we have thomas only seeing the quote written down and interpreting it back into acting.

he did a good job i think in the first incorrect quotes video because his performance added to the quote. it was funnier with his voice and acting than written down. i assume he doesn’t go watch/listen to the source of the quote before interpreting it, and im not sure that’s really a necessary thing, but that disconnect can definitely make the final result even messy sometimes. when it’s quotes from like brooklyn 99 and parks and rec and such it’s mostly fine because they’re short dialogues made to be comedic by themselves and that’s what this type of show is absolutely full of. but with other things, especially works from other genres you gotta be careful.

anyway that’s all to say that “obviously i’ll tell you if i see any good cows” means so much to me and carries this… emotional weight due to its context.. and you just can’t slap any random character names on it and call it a day. at least that’s what i think.

it’s not just about the cute idea of “seeing good cows”, its the love in that quote that is so. subtle and rare and unlikely within the terrible circumstances the characters are in. the domesticity and fondness is a soft sliver of comfort after the previous episode and before that big ending of season 4. it’s lovely and sweet and domestic while enveloped by previous, present and future loss and pain.

it’s NOT a character who is being treated as some kind of himbo telling another character (with huge arm gestures) “yes OBVIOUSLY i’ll tell you if i SEE any Good Cows 🙄🙄🙄 pssht”

it’s not about the cows 😭 does that make sense? 😭

[uncloseted]

I adore your account about Cassie but i genuinely hate effy.. she is the least likable charcater in the show, i mean yeah her mental disorder affects how she acts but couldnt they make her more likable? All of the charcaters in the show had problems but they were still more likable than she is, if for example her depression was caused by seeing tony getting hit by a bus, freddie's mother killed herself but he was still a caring sweet person unlike her and a lot of charcaters has been through worse than her but she acts like shes the only person w troubles lmao, divorce is sooo common that it doesnt even give the person an excuse to be asshole, she literally held hands with freddie in class and kissed him then goes at the end of the episode and fuck his best friend, she didnt deserve him any bit.

she also goes on and hits katie with a rock out of self defense but then doesnt tell anything to anyone and goes to fuck freddie and leaves her there? Come on now. she somehow feels like a side character even though most charcaters in the show like her because her personality is so hollow and boring and incredibly flawed more than everyone in gen 2.

yeah kaya is gorgeous and effys style is amazing, but i feel like thats the only thing likable the charcater has, i think if she was bad looking no one would even like her even Freddie or cook, because thats the reason they all liked her from the beginning isnt it? Just her looks. And anyways why the hell she only befriends girls that guys arent usually into like panda and the girl in gen 1? Is it some thing to make her feel better about herself and not feel threatened? , because she was clearly not interested in any of them

Im so sorry for talking a lot, i genuinely love your account and your opinions though! And im interested to hear your opinion about this

No worries at all! I love when people write a lot. I don't think you're alone in finding Effy annoying, which is fine. But I think the fact that she isn't always likeable is one of the reasons why the way they portray her mental illness is so realistic. Mental illnesses are illnesses. By definition, they impact people's lives in a negative way and cause them to make decisions that they wouldn't make if they were healthy.

And Effy is no different. If you were living with the delusion that falling in love would cause otherworldly demons to break through from the other side and come torture you, you'd probably do whatever you can to push the person you're in love with away, too, you know? And with the Katie/rock situation, I think Effy doesn't totally remember or understand what happened until they can't find Katie the next day - either as a result of having been on drugs or (and this is what I believe) as a result of being in the middle of a psychotic episode. Once she realizes what happens, she does call an ambulance to find and treat Katie. Does it suck to do those things to another person? Of course. She could have killed Katie, and that's very real and very serious. But Effy can only act within the context of what she believes to be true, and her beliefs about the world are heavily influenced by her mental illness. A lot of the time, she's not really in a headspace where she can make decisions that are coherent to the outside world. And that means that she's coming from a very different place than someone like Tony, who does awful things to other people on purpose just to see what he can get away with. I've always seen her as someone who desperately needs help, and the tragedy of her storyline is that none of the people around her can provide her with the help that she needs.

I also want to talk for a second about mental illness. You said that, "all of the charcaters in the show had problems but they were still more likable than she is", but that's not really how mental illness works. While mental illness can, and often is, triggered by trauma, people with no history of trauma can also be severely mentally ill, and people with a history of trauma can be totally fine from a mental health perspective. For Effy, it seems like she was just kind of born that way. This is someone who stopped talking around the age of six and didn't start again until she was fifteen. That's hardly a person who's mentally stable, even before you account for Tony getting hit by a bus right in front of her, her mother developing depression and a pill addiction, essentially taking care of both her mother and Tony through their recovery processes, her parents having a messy divorce, and essentially being abandoned by both of them when she needs them most.

In terms of why people like her, I actually don't think it's just her looks. I think for Cook, that's maybe why he was interested in her to begin with, but for Freddie, I think he's more interested in the fact that she was willing to go up to a random stranger and lick ketchup off their face before walking away. I think Freddie means it when he says he wants to "get to know" her. To Freddie, Effy is exciting and different and kind of confusing, and he's just curious about who she is and why she acts the way that she does. And for Cook, while he starts out as being interested in Effy because of how she looks, I think he continues being interested because he idealizes Effy as this beautiful girl who will be his partner in crime and let him keep avoiding his problems. He sees her as someone who’s like him and who understands what he’s going through. And then for other people, I think they like her because she's mysterious and they want to figure her out, because her attention makes them feel special (since she doesn't often pay attention to other people) or her lack of attention makes them want to impress her, because she seems like she knows everything about them even though they know nothing about her, and just in general because she has a reputation for being fun. A person's looks can only get them so far, but their personality is why people stick around. I think a good example of that is Mini in the 3rd generation. She's absolutely beautiful, but she has a lot of trouble maintaining friendships and romantic relationships because her personality is hard to be around.

And then in terms of friends, I don't think she really chose to be friends with Julie (the girl from series 1) or with Pandora. Both of them just kind of decided they were going to be her friend and Effy didn't do anything to get rid of them. So I don't think it's Effy intentionally "[befriending] girls that guys arent usually into" or that it's "some thing to make her feel better about herself and not feel threatened", but rather that girls who are a little odd and maybe don't understand social cues are the only ones who will keep trying to hang out with her even though she's clearly not interested. And for what it's worth, I do think she loves Pandora very much, even if she's not always the best friend to Pandora. I think Effy feels like she can trust that Pandora isn't going to stop wanting to be her friend, no matter what happens, and that she really values Pandora's optimism and excitement for the world, since it's something that Effy doesn't naturally feel. Pandora is really important to her, which is why she's so hurt when Pandora sleeps with Cook, even though she doesn't actually care about Cook himself.

Like I said at the beginning, I don't think you have to like Effy, and I know a lot of people don't. But I think she's more complicated than people make her out to be and that she's not annoying for the sake of being annoying.

[apr1lias]

i need to hear your thoughts on today PLEASE

HAHAHA THANK YOU ADORA!!!

Firstly, I am still very very confused about what has happened and I’m also a bit ill so that’s not helping. I had fully accepted that Martin was going to Ducati, Marc was going to Pramac/staying with Gresini and that Enea was going to somewhere, most likely Aprilia, going into Mugello and now it’s just not happening? Like what?

About Jorge not going to Ducati: I prefer Marc and Enea to Jorge, I want to make that clear. However, I just cannot understand how and why they would go back on their word (again) to a rider who has consistently performed for them. I read the italian rumour about him arguing with Gigi, and I can honestly see that being true because Martin doesn’t know how to shut up when it’s good for him, and I think the team was looking for any excuse to not give him the ride. They’ve now lost a rider, and probably two, but it’s fine because I suppose they’re getting the biggest asset on the grid right?

About Marc to Ducati: Honestly do not know what to say. Happy for him, he deserves a bike to be fighting for the championship again after everything that’s happened to him in the last 4 years but I’m not gonna pretend that I’m overjoyed about it. Maybe it’s because I feel a bit blindsided rn and it’ll come round but it’s so confusing. It makes sense after his comments about Pramac on Thursday, but to have this quick a turnaround is crazy. However, I hope if he is confirmed for 2024, then he wins the championship with ease next year to show everyone how it *should* be done on that dominant a bike.

About Martin to Aprilia: As an aprilia fan, I gotta say I had a feeling about Martin coming to the team since the start of the year and I’m conflicted. As a rider, he is obviously fantastic and I have no doubts about him delivering results for the team, but we all know how he is as a person and I’m sorry but I just personally cannot look past it until there is clear proof of change. It kind of makes me sad, as I’ve been supporting this team since I started watching in 2020 and idk, if Maverick goes then I may have to abandon my entire blog’s personality (rip) but if not then idk maybe I’ll act like 1/2 the team exists like I do with Ducati rn. That being said, if he brings the number one plate to Aprilia I will be laughing into next year, but I don’t think it will happen now.

Also side note on this solely for the announcement video: I have to say I cackled when watching the video and saw Aleix holding the door open for Martin, it looked more like Aleix forced him in as a hostage rather than by choice but whatever. I’d convinced myself the aprilia announcement was a maverick extension and aprilia were being opportunists but I literally screamed when I saw Jorge like the announcement post and watched the video 😭

About the Enea rumours: genuinely what the fuck. I want him to stay in the Ducati family, idk where or on what bike but it just feels right. KTM would be a good option though, and of course unless Maverick signs between now and Assen, there’s still space at Aprilia so who knows? Also cause I didn’t read, are the rumours Enea to GasGas or the factory, because if its the factory then we have to do all this again with Brad so… honestly idk but he should get a good seat somewhere. I love Enea and it’s a shame factory ducati hasn’t worked for him but sometimes that’s unfortunately how it goes and hopefully he’ll shine somewhere else.

That’s all I guess, it’s been a fucking crazy monday and I hope silly season doesn’t get even worse (not sure how it could unless pecco pulls a rosberg suddenly retires at the end of the year or some random shit). But yeah, I tried to order these as best I can because my mind is literally just open drawers and disorganised files rn so thank you for reading that post and asking 😭

Also to everyone, feel free to disagree, this is just my opinion as always.

[th3archivisst]

thinking about good omens swap au,,,,,

with my personal headcanons implemented and keeping it as in character for both as possible

headcanons mentioned are: crowley as lucifer and the metatron was the decision maker about his fall

this is just a rough overview of the au, i'll try and write a fic about it soon but yeahh

GO2 SPOILERS AHEAD

How Azi became a demon

In the beginning, when Aziraphale introduces himself to Lucifer (i'll be calling Crowley that cuz he never gets his demon name in this au), Luci tells him his name too. So Aziraphale knows this is literally God's favorite angel and Oh Shit That's Important. So, when the Metatron finds out about Lucifer's questioning and decides to cast him out, Aziraphale steps up. He takes the blame on himself, says he was the one who talked to Lucifer about it and he was actually the one asking questions. Why he does this? Because he can't imagine how heaven would live on without one of its most important angels, so he's willing to sacrifice himself for that. The Metatron believes the lie and Aziraphale falls in Lucifer's stead, taking on the name of Zerael.

Garden of Eden meeting

After Zerael's fall, Lucifer tries to argue with the Metatron a bit. He gives up pretty quickly because he doesn't want Zerael's fall to go to waste, but he still gets demoted as a result. So he's now on apple tree duty. Meanwhile, Zerael gets appointed to be the original tempter, taking the form of a black swallow (cuz yk swallows are symbols of good luck but black isn't eh whatever you'll see). Lucifer gets the flaming sword as a sort of cruel joke from heaven, Gods former favorite now needs a sword for protection. He (of course) gives it to Eve, he doesn't actually need it and she definitely does. When the two meet on the wall, it's a bit awkward. Lucifer is immediately happy and greets Zerael by his angelic name, causing Zee to have a bit of a shut down. He tries to act all demonic and mean, but ends up asking how Lucifer is doing in heaven. Luci kind of skirts around the topic. "Oh, you know, the usual celestial harmonies and whatnot". Zee isn't an idiot, he asks why Luci's on apple tree duty if everything's fine. Luci tells him he's been demoted but it's nothing to worry about. "Really, it's more interesting now! I get to see more than just white walls all the time". Wing shelter thingy but Zee tries to do it first, getting burned by holy rain in the process because bird brain so Luci shelters him instead.

General stuff now that the backstory is over with

(I'll get into the flashback scenes in a different post, my fingers are starting to hurt lmao)

Zerael changes his name Zirael, which literally means 'swallow' (according to wikipedia)

Zee still opens a bookshop, he loves books and food just as much and explains it to the Dark Council as getting to know human pleasures to tempt them better

Luci still has the Bentley. Just this time it's white. He bought it black but heaven didn't like it so he miracled it white. It still plays Queen automatically because it's the only way Luci can show off his chaos.

Luci still has houseplants, but he treats them well. Why? Because he can't keep them up to heaven's standards, not after Zee fell to save him. Instead of torturing the plants, he treats them like how he thinks Zee should've been treated. Leaf spots are fine, imperfections are okay. The plants are the most beautiful in London, and also the happiest.

The Arrangement is still the same, only Zee proposed it because he's still in denial about falling and wants any excuse to do something good. Luci agrees, because he wants a chance to rebel without anyone noticing.

Nicknames!!! Zee calls Lucifer 'Luci' (Lucy) and ,of course, Angel, while Lucifer calls Zirael 'Zee' and 'birdbrain' when telling him he's an idiot.

Features! So I know we get the Angel!Crowley eyes in s2, but i like to think he still has to wear sunglasses cuz when the sun catches his eyes they turn molten gold :]

Zee's eyes go from blue to black, easy enough to pass off as very dark brown. His hair stays the same though, it just never turned darker. He says the sulfur bleached it. Is that true? Probably not.

Zee is very very jumpy, his eyes are always flicking around and he's barely ever relaxed. Luci on the other hand is mostly calm, except when something goes wrong. Then he uses every swear word known to mankind that doesn't involve blasphemy because he doesn't wanna get scolded by head office.

Dynamic

Zee is a lot more flirty than Aziraphale. His time as a demon has taught him some Things™️. He still very persistently believes in the system, though it's easier to pick apart his resolve when you point out that he fell because he thought the system was unfair to Lucifer. Luci is the opposite, not sure how to respond to the flirting and getting very tongue tied (ngk.). He is however very willing to finally cut ties with heaven, which means Paradox. Zee keeps trying to convince Luci to stay in heaven, Luci keeps trying to convince Zee to Go Off Together. Zee terrified of consequences, Luci bored out of his skull with heaven's monotony. The only reason he stays is because he remembers Zee's sacrifice. He knows that Zirael didn't want to fall. He did it so Lucifer wouldn't have to.

This makes the season two finale oh so interesting HEHEHEHHEHGEHGEGEH

Lucifer gets the proposition to return to his position as Supreme Archangel, for things to go back to how they were before he was demoted. He, naturally, tells the Metatron exactly where he could stick it. Zee gets mad about this because Lucifer could make heaven better! He could make the system better, prevent anyone from falling without reason ever again. Luci gets pissed because he's been complaining about heaven to Zee for thousands of years and now that just means nothing??? he should go back?????? because of a broken system? But he doesn't mention that the Metatron told him he could restore Zirael. When he finally yells it out at the end of their arguement, right before the kiss, Zee freezes and stares at him. Lucifer realized. Oh shit. This is the one thing he's wanted more than life on earth for all this time. And i'm refusing him it, although it's my fault he lost it in the first place.

Zee won't ask him to go to heaven if he so clearly doesn't want to, definitely not now. Luci kisses him as an attempt to apologize, it's gentle and Zee doesn't push back but he also doesn't respond. At all. He just turns away and starts organizing his books. Just as Lucifer is about to leave, tears in his eyes, Zee says, very quietly; "If you won't do your job, I'd better start doing mine."

The next day, Lucifer comes back with a whole apology script written. He doesn't find Zee there. Instead he finds a random guy from a bookshop that closed a couple months ago.

[goblins-riddles-or-frocks]

If Leigh hadn't given Zoya Alina's storyline what role do you think she would've played in the next books? Right now she kinda fills in the gap that Alina left as the chosen one 2.0 but if it wasn't that what do you think would've been her story?

I mean that’s really hard to say because then what is the story going to be about? So much of KoS and RoW hinge on that rehashing. Removing it results in a completely different story— which is something I’d be fine with lol but it’s definitely not a case of like what would have happened instead.

Anyway, I personally love Zoya as more of a foil to the Darkling and filling that role of institutional power vs being placed as an Alina type who’s suddenly come into abilities she does not understand. With how much the original trilogy was about the threat of corruption inherent to power, the KoS duology did not engage with it… at all. I think partially because LB wanted to put the conflict to rest as something Alina like… fixed… to uphold the R&R ending. But it’s too neat, and just uninteresting? And Zoya and Nikolai were Team Morally Dubious from the literal beginning! Bizarre to have them refitted to Lawful Good with zero quandaries whatsoever. And it’s just more meaningful imo to see them working to uphold any sort of greater good, that the choices are taxing and dubious and sometimes very morally compromising.

I think Zoya and Nikolai are really interesting and can be super complimentary in how they operate on different sides of a gray morality spectrum. Zoya is ruthless and selfish, she has limits but she’s somewhat just out for herself and the people she cares about. Nikolai is greater good focused but he operates on a means to an end style of morality that’s literally presented as the starting point to where the Darkling ended up. That is bound to result in many ethical clashes! They have very different values!

Anyway I basically just wanted to see Zoya as the new scary power behind the throne. I wanted her as the new Darkling essentially in terms of being the shadowy figure who is doing the dirty work, and willing to get her hands way dirtier because her limits are different from Nikolai’s and she’s willing to go some fucked up places for her convictions. (The Alina to her Darkling lmao)

Like it’s not expanded on in KoS at all, but I see Zoya as something of a zealot tbh? She starts out as the Darkling’s devout follower, then somewhat grudgingly switches her allegiance to Alina. With both of them out of the way, I think Nikolai would fill that role for her. But not necessarily Nikolai the person, vs Nikolai the king and all of the hopes she’s placed on his rule making a difference. Which is to say, I think her devotion would mean she’s perfectly happy to go behind his back or hurt him in some way to protect him or help his rule. Like she is absolutely the person who would order fucked up assassinations that he might have qualms about without telling him because it’s better to ask for forgiveness than permission.

Arc-wise I also just wanted to see her struggle way more with the Darkling’s ghost and the values he instilled in her. Navigating the aftermath of that kind of disillusionment, and just trying to figure out what she believes in at all.

Anyway in the version of KoS that exists in my head, there is no new magic or world ending stuff. They’ve fully exited the fairy tale. It’s just politics and the miserable business of piecing a country back together after a civil war, and also recovering from the trauma of everything that happened. But while Nikolai’s come out of it determined to Fix Ravka and Deserve being king and to be nothing like his father, Zoya has come out the other side determined to be efficient. And I’d just love to see them hurt each other a lot on the path to understanding each other and trying to grapple with the above questions of morality, and where to draw the line re: selfishness or destroying oneself for a cause. And most importantly shfhff I do not want an answer!

They’re team Morally Dubious! They live on a precipice! There’s no easy answer beyond just trying to do their best at any given moment and make some ethical trade offs and just hope really hard that overall they’re going in the right direction.

[kirk]

hiiii i’d love to hear your thoughts on the hiatus revisionist history if you feel comfortable sharing :^)

ouhhh yeah ofc ill try not make this too long cause its not like groundbreaking nor like complicated yk i honestly just think both when they say they were still friends AND never spoke are both true statements like... 3-ish years IS a long time, especially for two guys who spent. nearly 10 years together almost Constantly yknow? so...

a lot can change and shift in those 3 years. if we look at like... the lead up to the hiatus you can definitely see patrick be a lot more distant with pete (except for a few examples that are like... oh ok you weirdos made up for a week huh) and its obviously from all the tension and just, natural drifting cause of that tension and then the start of the hiatus i really think they did not speak much at all, both because of the grieving of the "loss" of the band and the anger that grieving would fuel, etc. like even if they always thought it was always an hiatus, theyre dramatic, if they dont do it anymore for any length of time its like the end of the fucking world <3 so start of hiatus i feel like, they did not speak and that was when patrick would like... not return calls to pete, or talk to him much, he probably was fully in like... trying to gather together stuff to make his solo projects and we all know patricks just MIA when hes in creating mode, and he was 100% using that to deal with the "loss" of fob, we then get to pete's divorce and i feel like around this time they wouldve reconnected a bit again but maybe after a bit of back and forth (eg the "what do u want" text bit), a good example of them reconnecting in some form would be pete suddenly bringing out his stump club shirt in 2011 like a month after his divorce

i feel like because of his divorce and ofc patrick being around for all of his relationship with ashlee, they would have reconnected in a time that pete wouldve needed comfort and familiarity and it had been over a year since the hiatus started so the initial grief and anger wouldve 100% died down and i feel like this is when pete would have said like. you dont even know my son, etc, like patrck was also at petes place for a good chunk of time in april 2011 which is only shortly after pete brings out that shirt, however, some shit happened after this that we literally have no clue What and they kinda fall out again, maybe not fully like what happened at the start of the hiatus but definitely a falling out again (eg patrick saying in zane lowe "i thought we were [fine] but then you--") and fast forward then to all THAT stuff with SP being redone and redone way more angrily and then we get to death of a pariah and it kinda really makes them reconnect but like... less to do with familiarity (repeating the cycle of how they got into a tension-filled mess that resulted in the hiatus in the first place) and more to do with, lets rebuild, lets do this different, lets go back to our roots and do it to create again, lets go back and relearn what made us best friends in the first place and we can really... really see that, i wont show it but the leaked picture of pete and patrick at patricks wedding in 2012 really shows the like, rebuilt relationship i think, the youthful joy again that just wasnt there on the lead up to the hiatus nor in patricks depression-filled frenzy with SP and then. well. it kinda just never broke after that, amen. so basically. yeah they both WERE still friends/considered the other their friend but also they probably didnt like each other much/didnt want to see the other for at least TWO chunks of time during the hiatus until the Actual Healthy Reconnection circa early 2012-ish where they dont just reconnect in a way they were used to but instead in a way that was to rebuild from the ground up. this part is a little speculation cause im not pete nor patrick but i feel like because patrick normally isnt that explosive and open about his mental health, pariah just kinda forced the both of them to REALLY talk, because, patrick had put it all out there, there was no taking it back, pete now knew how patrick felt and well. as patricks biggest hypeman he couldnt let that go and it just forced patrick to just fucking talk about how he felt for once, which allowed pete to recontextualise shit and also heal from shit which in turn let him help patrick heal a bit, esp with those early songwriting hang outs p2 had, which then in turn made patrick more open to asking how joe felt which allowed joe to feel happy to come back to fob which in turn rebuilt fall out boy. etc. yeah. anyway hi. i love to ramble

[momsforroadhead]

idk shit about degrassi let's go with 2, 6, 8, 21, and 22?

YES you can't imagine how happy i am to be doing this i can't talk about degrassi to anyone and the fandom is kinda dead

2. a compelling argument for why my fave would never top or bottom: this question is crazy cause degrassi characters get to be like... 19 at the oldest (not that they die, the just age out and cycle out of the show) so let's imagine them older. now other problem there's like 36 000 of them total starting in the 80s and ending in the 2010s BUT if i pick a fave let's go with Eli Goldsworthy and make a bold claim: he would never top. in canon he's straight (the writers are wrong on this one) but i fully believe that any woman he has ever been with/will ever be with pegs him. he's simply too weak sauce to have the energy to top anybody. he has other things on his mind.

6. which ship fans are the most annoying: like i mentionned, the fandom is kinda dead so i don't really know fandom opinions apart for the yt comments when degrassi was still on youtube for free (booo hbo fuck you) BUT! i will say that people got really invested in Craig/Manny for some reason (he was always awful to her) and started hating Ellie as a result. Now yes Ellie was super misogynistic towards Manny, but that's not really a reason for the fandom to then be super misogynistic towards her. I love Ellie Nash she's my queen get off her back! yes she's whiny and a bitch. it's literally fine.

8. common fandom opinion that everyone is wrong about: OOUUH!! A lot of people hate Connor, which is SO WRONG. They hate him for stealing girls' underwear (which i will admit is creepy and weird) but like... degrassi is the everybody gets a second chance show... yall love Peter (so do i!!) and he literally distributed revenge porn of Manny so..... you just hate Connor cause you can't handle his autistic swag. but i can. i love him. him and jenna are my favourite couple and he's aspec in my head. (also he's a case of "if a white character did the same thing you all would love him" but let's not even go there)

also everybody hates tristan and he literally did nothing wrong. and people hate ellie and she's perfect. and people hate jane and why do you people have so much hate in your heart

21. part of canon i think is overhyped: i'm really having to think about this one cause idk if any part is really hyped all that much lmao degrassi fans, we love to complain...... i'll say a part of canon that i wish wasn't there is Adam's death. JT and Cam felt earned and realistic, but Adam... idk it just came out of nowhere..... and he's literally one of ma faves.....

22. my favourite part of canon that everyone else ignores: omgomgomgomg Marco and Ellie hooking up post graduation. for context Marco's like BEEN fully gay. and he hooks up with Ellie out of sheer codependency which is, in my opinion, HILARIOUS. also, he says that the worst part is he didn't want it to stop (they didn't go all the way) and if the writers of that episode weren't COWARDS he would've had a real reflection on the fluidity of sexuality but oh well. it's an iconic throwaway plotline and one of the foundational building blocks in my evil Craig/Ellie/Marco codependent love triangle polycule

[lancerious]

now I ask YOU questions! >:3

40, 46, 29, 23, and 31

YUS more questions >:D

Q: Favorite memory

A: Um. Uh. Ok I have a lot of "favorite" memories which nullifies the meaning of the word lol, BUT considering how a huge part of my online presence is me obsessing over Lancer, I'll mention a memory that relates to him :>

The memory is...simply my first playthrough of Deltarune Chapter 1! I knew a decent amnt of the game at that point, including the general plot lol, but I wanted to see what the game was truly like. I know I played it in either my junior or senior year of highschool, can't remember which one it was. I also believe it was on a school break, whether it was summer break or a smaller one

ANYWAY, I played the game in the dead of night, everyone else at home was asleep. I had to play quietly as to not wake up anyone lol, and...oh my GOD, I fell in LOVE with the game even MORE after that, its characters included! Actually PLAYING Chapter 1 made me love nearly ALL characters SO MUCH more, ESPECIALLY Lancer. I kid you not, I remember laughing at every single line Lancer had, he was just so therapeutic for me. I have such a vivid recollection of my first playthrough, and there's TONS more I would say but then this post would be a goddamn novel & I'm still only on the first question lol

But yeah, I still adore this memory, and I always come back to Deltarune Chapter 1 if I ever feel down, because man, it works WONDERS <3

Q: What my last text message says

A: It's a link to a page for tickets to watch Coraline in theaters this August. If links don't count, my last text message is...literally just "Ok", that is actually it lol

Q: Favorite film(s)

A: YESYESYES I was hoping for this one!! I have two fav films, one animation & one live-action

My fav animated film is...Coraline, who would've guessed! I do prefer the book but the film is GORGEOUS, and it's in stopmotion which I also love! Coraline as a whole is such a wonderful story & has a very important lesson in it too, hidden behind all the pure insanity the movie has. It's just so great <3

My fav live-action film is Miss Peregrine's Home for Peculiar Children! It's based on the books of the same name, and while I DO have the books, I haven't gotten around to reading them just yet. Therefore, I don't know how accurate the film is, but I LOVE IT. I LOVE IT SO MUCH. The movie NEEDS more attention it is hands-DOWN my favorite fantasy movie! It's not perfect, nothing truly is, but I absolutely ADORE it ^-^

Q: Fear(s)

A: I have a fair amnt of these! I'll list a bunch here

Any sudden sounds, ESPECIALLY if they're loud. A couple notable examples are the fear of balloons popping, alongside fireworks! I LOVE both of them, ESPECIALLY fireworks they are SO beautiful, but I'm always worried of the inevitable loud sound that will follow. For balloons I'm much more wary bcs I don't know WHEN the balloon will pop, whereas for fireworks it's mostly a concern of how LOUD each firework will be

Broken glass! The reasoning for this fear is that I cut the big toe on my left foot when I was a young kid from a broken glass shard from a shattered lightbulb. Ever since then I've been SUPER nervous around SHATTERED glass. I'm fine if the glass is intact, but once it's shattered I stay FAR away from it

Being forgotten is a big worry of mine. I think a decent amnt of people can relate to this. I've had past experiences where this occurred, so I'm extra sensitive to this, even if I don't show my worry outwardly

This somewhat goes with number 3: being rejected. I do NOT mean this in a romantic way, this is purely platonic. I have had SO many instances where I was rejected in some way & I don't have a lot of tolerance for it anymore

Overloading is another one. This primarily focuses on me bombarding people with the things I'm interested in, which has resulted in a few people rejecting me, see fear #4. This causes me to intentionally hold back EVERYWHERE, even in places where going on positive rants is encouraged

Finally, to end this list on another relatively "goofy" fear, there's bees, wasps, hornets, anything that stings! People have different reasons for being afraid of these insects, but mine is simply the fact that I have NEVER been stung, not once. I don't know if I'm allergic or not; I'm mostly afraid of the pain it could cause me as I have a VERY low pain tolerance. I literally panic every time a stinging insect comes into my field of view

Q: 3 random facts

All right, time to bring out the randomness in me >:D

When I was VERY young, probably toddler age at most, my head got whacked by a tree/branch, it was definitely some part of a tree at least lol. I got a tiny bump on my head as a result, it's still present to this day :P

I DESPISE melted cheese. It's obscene. Get it out of my sight. IhateitIhateitIhateitIhateitIhateit

My favorite candy bar is Kit-Kat! Funny enough, that's actually my nickname to some people bcs of how much I love them

Bonus fact bcs I felt like it, I've written stuff, Ik some people know this already lol but still. I have abt 10 rotating ideas constantly in my mind that I've never put to paper but I hope to do so someday <3

TY FOR THE ASK <3